#obsessed w it he’s a wine guy for sure oh & last part is the wine alcohol will be boiled out (unless u simmer method it all day!) so the

[fuzzyunicorn]

Real footage of me making my dearly beloved Soulmate (him🖤!) his tavern wench style food

[superhero--imagines]

Part 1 Here! / Part 2 Here! / Part 3 Here! / Part 4 Here! / Part 5 Here! / Part 6 Here! / Part 7 Here! / Part 8 Here! / Part 9 Here! / Part 10 Here!

A/N: I apologize for all the profanity in this part ahead of time. I think I’m going to do M/W/Sat updates, as long as my writing permits, and then maybe Wed/Sat updates. I got the day off because it snowed so I thought I would post this since it’s ready haha

* Well you’re royally f*cked

* There’s a big stupid smile curled on your face, and every time you try to hide it, it just comes back wider

* You really shouldn’t be happy right now

* “What has you in such a good mood?” Edward’s got a matching smile of his own.

* Oh shit. It’s fine, you’ll just play dumb.

* “How do you know I’m happy?” How about the dumb grin you’ve got on your face you stupid b*tch.

* You would have smacked your own forehead if you weren’t aware Edward was watching your every move

* You’re lucky Edward’s nice and he doesn’t call you out on it

* “Whenever you’re happy it kind of radiates off of you,” his voice lowers “you know because of your powers”

* Ah, you didn’t know you did that

* “So what do you think about the new girl?” You blurt it out like it’s an intrusive thought

* F*ck. Just-okay just play it cool. Play it cool.

* F********ckkkkk what’s wrong with you.

* Is being happy making you act like a moron?

* He shrugs

* “Just another human, I kind of wish everyone would shut up about it though. Having to hear people talk about her and think about her is getting annoying. It’s like being in a tunnel with one too many echoes.”

* Ah, so he hasn’t noticed yet.

* “I wonder what she’s thinking about.”

* Edward just shrugs again.

* What the f*ck Edward take a hint!

* “Edward?”

* “Yes dear?” He has the nerve to grin after using that pet name. The criminal is teasing you. Some best friend.

* And still it makes you outrageously happy

* You have to force your smile into a straight line

* “What’s the new girl thinking?”

* He looks over to her, Tyler and Mike are fighting for her attention, both of them a moment away from tugging on each arm and shouting “mine!”

* You see him search, you’ve heard enough about his powers to know right now it’s like mall food court level of chatter for him, but in a few seconds he’ll focus on her and realize he can’t hear her thoughts.

* Knowing how prideful he is though, he’ll probably deny it.

* “I don’t know I can’t read her mind” he says bluntly. “Do you think the school music teacher would teach me how to play violin if I asked?”

* “What?!?”

* “I know it’s kind of inconsiderate to ask but-“ you click your tongue

* “No not that!” You gesture towards Bella “you can’t read her mind?!? Isn’t that kind of a big deal?”

* His eyebrows thread together

* “I can’t read your mind either”

* Yes but you’re from a completely different world, in a body that radiates despair (and apparently joy now). You’re basically like some type of eldritch being from another dimension. 

* Edward doesn’t see it that though

* “Honestly it’s a relief, one less mind I have to tune out.” He walks ahead of you as you stay motionless in the middle of the hallway

* What the f*ck is happening?

* “Are you coming? We’re going to be late for Biology if you keep lagging behind like that.”

* How could you forget? The whole story starts because Edward is super into Bella’s blood! He fantasizes killing her for like- the entire class period.

* You were worried for nothing, just because they didn’t have the cafeteria moment isn’t that big of a deal

* The thought makes you both relieved and a little sad

* Still it’s for the best, this is the way things are supposed to be

* And who knows, if you have to leave maybe you can poach Rosalie and Emmett to leave with you

* And maybe Jasper, he won’t like having a human around the house all the time

* “Mr. Cullen, Ms. Eleazar” Mr. Banner hands you each a worksheet.

* Oh right the onion cell worksheet. Ah right the mitosis crap. Well hopefully Mike remembers enough that you both can hobble through

* “New year means new seating arrangement!” He tells you both excitedly. The seating arrangements on the projector.

* “Why am I next to Edward isn’t the seating arrangement supposed to be alphabetical?”

* “I decided to go by grade this time, you should be happy! Aren’t you two...friends?” You can tell your teacher is confused by the nature of your relationship, almost as much as you are. 

* “Super happy Teach.” You mumble taking your seat next to Edward who’s grinning like an idiot

* “You can’t say he’s picking favorites when it’s merit based.” He grins and you roll your eyes

* Angela’s sitting next to Ben Cheney, they seem to be discussing the trigonometry homework, and how it’s basically impossible

* Oh right, he’s supposed to be her boyfriend this year. 

* Personally you think Angela could do way better. But love is blind, you’ll ship it if you have to. 

* And right on cue Mike walks in, Bella following close behind. He takes his seat on the table behind you while Bella talks to Mr. Barnes

* “Why didn’t you guys sit with us at lunch today?” Mike is practically leaned over the entire width of the table.

* Before you can say anything Edward snorts

* “Because (Y/N) was getting lectured for staying out all night again”

* Mike looks like his eyes might pop out of his head

* “W-what? Out all night?! Without inviting me!” You roll your eyes.

* “He’s making it more dramatic, I went out for a run early in the morning because I couldn’t sleep and everyone was freaking out because they thought I got kidnapped.”

* Like any vampire or human stood a chance against you and your violent mood swings

* Mike’s so caught up in lecturing you about how you need to be more careful

* “There’s a lot of weirdos out there!” Yeah you live with them

* That he doesn’t even notice Bella’s taken a seat next to him

* Now that you get a better look at her, she is kinda pretty. She’s the kind of person who probably always looks good in photographs, no matter what the angle. Nice cheekbones and big brown eyes. Modest on boobs and butt, but she’s skinny so it works for her.

* “Hey, you’re Bella right?” You give her your friendliest smile, and you don’t miss the light blush that blooms on her face.

* You’re not sure whether it’s from your beauty or because she’s just not used to so much attention. She just nods.

* “Have you already seen the three whole things there are to do in Town on a Friday night?”

* Bella actually laughs at that. She’s got dimples, and little wrinkles that show up at the corner of her eyes. It’s cute.

* “One of those things is going to the library, so really it’s only two things.”

* She giggles again.

* “Is the other one going over to your house to play monopoly?” Mike asks, a grin arching onto his face

* “No my house is out of town, the other thing is to go to the school football game”

* “I’m not really a big fan of football” Bella hesitantly says, and Mike and Edward laugh

* “Yeah no one here does, everyone goes for the half time show, or just to hang out.” 

* You’re pretty sure your entire friend group only goes to the games to see your cheer routine, especially this year since you’re captain now. The first junior captain in a long time apparently. The news actually made the local newspaper.

* Everything is going good, and you’re starting to think maybe you and Bella might be friends.

* “Why don’t we have a board game night at our house again? Last time was-“

* You stop sentence, you were having so much fun you almost forgot why Edward was so obsessed with Bella.

* The slight breeze from the air conditioning brings her scent to you.

* You cover your mouth and nose with your hand

* Her scent is REVOLTING

* “(Y/N), are you okay?” Mike asks

* You vaguely feel Edward’s hand on your shoulder, has he not caught her scent yet?

* It’s pretty hard to miss

* Like gym socks, with a overly sweet base, it’s like-

* Your head snaps up, and your hand clamps over your mouth and nose even harder, but not because the scent is revolting

* She smells like cheese, perfectly aged Gorgonzola cheese, or maybe Brie?

* You smell the sweeter undercurrent stronger now, it’s like warm juicy peaches

* Roasted peach salad tossed with Gorgonzola and olive oil

* How many times have you dreamed about eating that while basking in the warm sunlight

* “I knew you shouldn’t have eaten those leftovers at lunch,” Edward says, but you know it’s performative, thank god he’s still got some sense after smelling her.

* “Mr.Banner, I think (Y/N) ate something bad, is it alright if I help them to the nurses office?”

* “Yes and hurry!” He’s practically shooing you out as Edward pulls you by the arm

* Nooooo, you wanna smell her moreeee

* You have the sense to not wine and keep your mouth covered.

* Edward doesn’t take you to the nurse, you both don’t stop walking until you’re at the parking lot

* “What the hell was that?” He asks, it’s the first time he’s seemed even remotely angry with you

* He seems more confused then angry though, you’re so shocked you actually sit down on the curb.

* And after a moment of hesitance Edward sits beside you, placing his hand over your own

* “She smells good Edward, like really good.”

* Edward laughs

* “Yeah I gathered that” he shakes his head. “I thought you were supposed to be a picky eater”

* “I aaaaamm” you moan, your head is cradled in your left hand. “She’s like one in a million”

* “You’re one in a million” you lift your head to see Edward looking at you with that stupid sh*t eating grin.

* “Really Edward my life is falling apart because I want to eat someone, and you think the appropriate response is to flirt?”

* To be fair, he’s always flirting, it’s basically apart of his personality at this point

* “You’re being melodramatic.” He chuckles and throws an arm over your shoulder. “Worst case scenario you kill her, Carlisle doles out his funeral punishment-don’t ask, and then we have to start over as freshman again somewhere else.”

* You groan, you finally worked your way up to a junior, you were just starting to get used to this crappy town, you don’t wanna start all over again in a new one

* “What’s the best case scenario?”

* Edward thinks hard for a minute.

* “Best case scenario...the music teacher agrees to teach me how to play the violin and I impress you with my magnificent playing.” You smack him on the arm.

* “Not the best case scenario for you!” You know he’s doing it on purpose. He just wants to make you laugh

* It works, you do laugh. How much more absurd could this situation get?

* “Everything’s going to be fine, if Jasper can handle having to smell 300 students he thinks smell good, you can handle 1.” 

* He’s got a point

* “Wait-didn’t she smell good to you?” Wasn’t that like, the whole d*mn point?

* His eyebrows thread together and he shrugs

* “Um, she smelled alright, no better or worse than the others. I’m not sure what you smelled-“

* What you smelled? The rich but refreshing flavor profile is sublime

* The f*cking heathen doesn’t even know what he’s missing

* “But to me she smelled like peaches”

* Well he kinda knows what he’s missing

* “She’s definitely anemic though, there’s a sever lack of iron in her scent” ah that must be that cheesy smell you’re getting

* Well ain’t this ironic. The girl who’s going to steal your best friend is only getting noticed because of you.

* “I don’t know, personally I prefer Henrietta the 3rds blood, but that’s just me” he’s lying, your blood is good and all, but it’s definitely still not on par with a humans blood

* He’s just trying to make you feel better.

* He rubs your shoulder, before patting it and moving to stand up.

* “Now come on, we have to make you eat some human food so you can throw up in front of the nurse and she lets us leave school early”

* You roll your eyes, anything to leave school early huh?

* “Yeah all right, lead the way Mr. Tall-Dark-and-Brooding”

* “Why do you always say that? I don’t brood that much anymore!”

* “You know how some people have resting b*tch face? You have resting brood face.”

* “Says the person who literally radiates despair” you shove him as you both walk towards the vending machine

* You take a deep breath as you watch Edward fumble with the vending machine

* The dork literally sticks a credit card up to the glass and demands the machine give him chips. 

* (Y/N/N) why isn’t this working? Am I supposed to insert my card through this slot?” 

* You laugh. You’re pretty sure he’s not doing this on purpose.

* “You’re supposed to use cash Edward.”

* You watch as he fumbles with his wallet muttering:

* “Do you think it’ll take a twenty dollar bill?”

* You watch in amusement as Edward tries - and fails- to use a twenty dollar bill, and then proceed to use obscure profanities to curse “this vile wretch of human technological advancement” 

* You feel a sigh of relief escape you.

* Yeah, everything is going to be fine. 

Tags:  @moonlights27 @thebluetint @the100thtwilight @awesomebooklover17 @oneofthepotterheads @smileygirl08 @imdoingathingmom @iconicgguk @yrawn @alyciaswhore @little-horror-show @wicked-watering-can @lazydreamers @xxxmuxxx @puritanicalhypocrite

[lumosinlove]

Sweater Weather

part xxi

[see tags for tw]

Regulus liked the cubs. Finn was a little out there maybe, but Logan, off of the ice at least, was steady and put together.

Leo had snorted when he’d told him what he thought. “Interesting take.”

They didn’t seem to mind having him around, although there wasn’t much time lately when Regulus didn’t feel like an intruder on something. Living in his brother’s house when he probably wanted to be alone with Remus. Leo inviting him over to nights that would probably feel and go differently if he wasn’t there.

But he didn’t feel unwelcome. Just out of place. Which was surprising, given the fact that he was a Snake. Had been. He still felt like he was one, anyway. A Snake. An intruder. Out of place.

And now the Lupins were here to stay and Regulus was self-aware enough to realize that he was seeing for the first time what was probably the most loving family in the entire world.

“Julian, sweetheart, you have to let Sirius rest. He’s got some big days coming up, as you well know.”

Julian looked up at his mother.

Regulus wasn’t sure if Julian liked him all that much yet. Although, he didn’t really blame the kid. When you were little, the rivalries seemed like a full-blown military crises. That was how the Lions had seemed to him, at least. A real beast, with sharp teeth. He imagined that, for Julian, he had venom and a tail that rattled.

“But—” Julian looked up at Sirius, who was playing goalie in one of the make-shift nets that he had set up in the living room.

“It’s okay, Hope,” Sirius said. “We’ll go another half hour.”

“You’ll go until dinner, which is in ten minutes,” Hope said.

“Well, it that case, bud, we should go help set the table, non?” Sirius stood straight from his goalie-crouch. “We can play more later.”

“Really?” Julian said, clutching his hockey stick.

“Mais, oui. Allez, let’s go help your dad and Re.”

It left Regulus alone with Hope in Sirius’ large living room. Hope was a mother. Regulus didn’t know how to put her smile and that role together yet. He watched her put her hands on her hips and look around. Even Regulus had to admit that the living room was mostly empty and bland. Sirius clearly didn’t know what to do with a house besides sleep and eat there.

“Well,” Hope said, and then smiled at Regulus. “Needs some brightening, huh?”

“Probably.”

Hope nodded. “Probably. Come on, let’s eat.”

Regulus followed her through to the dining room where Lyall was setting plates of salmon and rice down, along with a large salad. As Sirius sat down, Julian all but climbed over Remus to get the chair beside him. Remus’ eyes found Regulus’, maybe by accident, but he smiled, and Regulus did, too, a little. Regulus gestured to his own chair, on Sirius’ other side, and moved across the table instead. He sort of wanted to sit beside Hope, anyway. He wasn’t sure why.

“Here you go, sweetheart,” Hope said, passing him a glass of water and a bread roll.

“Thank you.”

Family dinners had not been like this. He found Sirius’ eyes, and the thought seemed to pass between them.

Really, the place was crawling with families. Not Sirius’ house, but Gryffindor. Hogwarts Arena. Regulus had watched Logan be practically tackled by someone who could only have been Leo’s mother, with her bright blond hair. Leo’s father, also blond, had walked right up to Pascal, shaking his hand. He had a sharpie in his back pocket and a wide smile. Finn also looked just like his mother. Haley O’Hara and her dark red hair, cropped in a pixie cut, shared her sons’ easy smiles, but her startling blue eyes were her own. Ramsey O’Hara was dark haired and brown eyed, and always video taping. Alex had been wearing a Heart-throb-O’Hara t-shirt. Marius and Iva Tremblay were quieter, but Iva looked just like her son, and kept pulling Logan into her arms, her eyes almost relieved when they looked at her son’s smile. The Tremblay sisters were anything but quiet.

Regulus, while surrounded, had tended to keep close to one wall. The quiet kindness of the Lupins was welcomed.

Regulus also kept to himself during dinner, listening to the conversation and taking seconds—and thirds—of the food.

“Hungry teenage hockey player,” Lyall laughed, raising his wine glass towards Regulus. “That’s something I remember, eh, Remus?”

Remus smiled and glanced at Sirius. “I don’t think the hungry part stops after teenage years, dad.”

Sirius glanced up, mouth full. “No, it doesn’t.”

Regulus smiled, watching as Julian seemed to be trying to time his own bites with Sirius’. He remembered being that obsessed only, back then, it was just a little brother thing, not a Captain Sirius Black thing.

“So,” Hope said, leaning on her elbows and lacing her fingers. “For the dinner tomorrow. Re, why don’t you and Sirius go get the food?”

“Please let me go with,” Julian said. “Please, please, mom.”

“You’re on house duty with me. Plus, Remus and Sirius will be going right from morning skate, so—”

“He can come to morning skate with us,” Sirius said.

Remus nodded. “Yeah, mom, it’s no problem.”

“You’ll both be working, who would—”

“I don’t need to be watched, mom,” Julian begged. “Please let me go.”

“Julian, it’s not a babysitter, it’s just that—”

“I can…” Regulus glanced around. “Not watch him, but…we can hang out.”

The table went a little quiet. Regulus felt a little dizzy, like someone was going to swing at him. He knew that wasn’t true.

“I’ll probably go to the rink and watch, anyways,” Regulus continued into the quiet, looking at Julian, then Hope. “I’m going out with Leo after, so.”

“Leo Knut?” Hope said and then smiled. “Oh, I’m so glad you two are friends.”

Everyone kept saying that.

“Well, Jules?” Hope said. “Alright?”

“Okay,” Julian said hesitantly, eyes on Regulus. Regulus flashed him a tight smile and then looked back down to his plate.

He volunteered for clean up duty, just so he didn’t have to make conversation. It wasn’t awkward, but he wasn’t used to these laughter filled living rooms. He wasn’t used to Sirius’ laugh. It threw him off guard.

“Regulus?”

Regulus looked up from the sink to see Remus behind him in the kitchen window’s reflection. He was all shades of night, until Regulus turned around and he was warm again. Remus looked almost nervous, leaning back against the refrigerator.

“What’s up?” Regulus said.

“I just,” Remus glanced down the hallway, then shrugged. “I know Julian’s…not exactly warmed up to you. Thank you for offering anyway.”

Regulus turned back around to the soapy water. “Don’t worry about that. I get it. I’d probably be the same.”

“It’s just that, it isn’t you. It’s—”

“Remus, I know what it’s like to be brought up in a hockey household. There’s a whole lot of loyalty. And sometimes loyalty doesn’t change easily,” Regulus glanced back once more. “Don’t worry. I understand. I’m a Snake right now. He’s a Lion. I’m someone who betrayed their brother, and he’s someone who loves his brother more than anything.”

He could feel Remus’ eyes on his back.

“I understand,” he said again, and turned the water back on.

“Well, thank you again. I think you guys will like each other a lot.”

Regulus nodded. “I hope so.”

~

It was the Lions’ last practice before they would get on a plane for game one against the Snakes. Regulus knew he would be taking a risk, traveling with the team there. But he wanted to show that he wasn’t afraid. Part of him even hoped that he ran into Snape, or Riddle, or Malfoy, or any of them. Just to show that he was better off. The other part of him didn’t want to care what they thought.

Regulus could picture the stadium and the entire, green crowd that hissed and cheered. With the drums of the music, a single spot-light would appeared on the ice, and with each successive beat, one of three very familiar words. The Snakes’ motto.

ALWAYS

PURE

HOCKEY

Toujours pur, Regulus could remember his father saying to them growing up, accompanied by the slap of pucks against the boards, and endless drills. Toujours pur, toujours pur—

Someone tapped his arm, and Regulus looked up to meet Leo’s gaze. He was lacing his skates.

“Ça va?” he said, which made Logan look up.

“Oui,” Logan said, then noticed Leo looking at Regulus, not him. “Oh. Ça va?”

“I hope you beat them,” Regulus said. “That’s all.”

“Well, yeah,” Logan laughed, wrapping tape around his socks tightly. “Me too.”

“Regulus,” Julian came up to them. He was in a Tremblay jersey today and Logan wrestled him into a gentle headlock, making him laugh before looking back up at Regulus. “Sirius is going out to warm up can we please go watch?”

Leo smiled. “Take him out.”

Regulus couldn’t help but smile a little, too. “All right. Allez.”

Sirius was doing shooting drills, rubbing absentmindedly at his healed ribs. It was nice to be around the sounds of the ice again. Sirius’ basement didn’t count.

Remus was on the bench, sitting on the boards with his feet dangling near the ice. Every once in a while, Sirius would swoop by for a kiss, or to say something that made Remus laugh. The other boys were filing out slowly. Finn and Logan were passing a puck back and forth while Leo dropped into the splits, stretching and talking to them. Evgeni and Jackson were ramming each other into the boards and laughing. The atmosphere would change once Coach came out, but Regulus now knew that it wasn’t like in Slytherin. There was never any silence. The laughter never went away, not even when they were working hard.

“Why did you leave?” Julian asked suddenly. He was standing nearly pressed against the glass, watching. They made eye contact in the slight reflection from the lights. He looked just like his older brother, something people always said to Regulus, too.

“I…” Regulus took a breath. “I wanted to leave.”

“Why?”

“I wanted better for myself,” Regulus said carefully. “I think we should always want the best for ourselves, non?”

“What if you can’t have the best? My brother wanted to play hockey.”

Regulus glanced over at Remus, laughing as Kasey squirted him with his water bottle, and thought of the right words.

“What’s best isn’t always attached to a thing or a person?” he tried. “Sometimes it’s a good attitude. What I meant was, I thought I was stuck. Then, my brother showed me I wasn’t.”

“So, Sirius is the best for you?”

“Sirius showed me that I could be the best for me. But, oui, Sirius is pretty great. So is your brother.”

“I know that,” Julian said, and rested his forehead against the glass again. He was quiet, and then, “You said bad things about Sirius. I saw it on youtube.”

Regulus chewed on his cheek. “Yeah.”

“But then you said good things.”

“Yeah.”

“Did you say sorry?”

Regulus swallowed. “Yeah.”

“That’s good.”

Sirius skated up fast and hard and stopped in front of the glass, knocking his helmet over where Julian had his forehead. Julian laughed and knocked gently back.

“Ça va?” Sirius asked, glancing at Regulus.

“Oui,” Julian replied and Regulus nodded.

“Hey Jules,” Sirius said, loudly to be heard over the noises of practice. “Tell Reg to make you un sandwich de la rondelle in the kitchen.”

He skated away with a grin at Regulus, who couldn’t help but smile back. The words brought back a memory that he hadn’t thought about in a long time. It left Julian looking half expectant and half skeptical.

“Allez,” Regulus sighed as he pushed himself up from his seat. “I’ll let you in on a Sirius Black tradition.”

“Okay,” Julian grinned.

The Lions kitchen was a strange sense of déjà-vu. It was the Snakes’, only awash in brighter colors.

“What’s a sandwich…sandwich ron…”

“Sandwich de la rondelle,” Regulus repeated, opening cupboards until he found bread and peanut butter, and swiping a banana from the counter.

“It’s a peanut butter and banana sandwich,” Julian said.

“Oui, sort of. But—Les bananes,” Regulus held up the fruit. “Sirius use to fry them in cinnamon and honey and then they would become darker because they’re caramelized. They would look like little hockey pucks, or la rondelle.”

“I want one,” Julian said. “Please.”

Regulus laughed. “I thought you might.”

~

Sirius watched from the bed as Remus pulled on a long sleeved white shirt. The cotton clung to his strong shoulders and he shook the sleeve out over his watch. Sirius could see his star necklace through the thin fabric. Remus pushed his sandy hair off of his forehead and looked up at the shelves again, patted his dark jeans, and then turned the closet light off. He stopped when he stepped out and raised an eyebrow.

“That’s not exactly what I call dressed for guests who are showing up in—” he looked at his watch. “ten minutes.”

Sirius stretched out against the bed. “You look good, Loup.”

“I’m wearing jeans and a shirt.”

“I said you look good, I don’t care what you’re wearing.”

Remus smiled and knelt on the mattress. “Then in that case, you look good, too.”

“I’m naked.”

“Then what’s that on your face?”

Sirius groaned. “It’s tradition.” He touched the dark beard on his cheeks and chin. He was keeping it short and neat, rather than letting it grow wild like some of the other guys, but he still felt a little self-conscious. “It isn’t that bad…”

Remus crawled forward until he was poised over Sirius’ body. “You know you look good.” He leaned down to brush a kiss over Sirius’ cheek, feeling the coarse stubble against his lips. “But this place is going to be filled with families in two seconds.”

“Hm,” Sirius leaned up to kiss Remus’ throat, and Remus felt the scratch there, too.

“Parents,” Remus warned.

Sirius kissed along Remus’ jaw.

“Dumo.”

Sirius sighed. “We should get dressed.”

Sirius, forced into a pair of tight jeans and a button down by Remus, opened the front door to see Pascal standing there with Katie on his shoulders.

“Bonsoir,” Pascal said. “I come bearing hungry children and the most beautiful woman in the world.”

Sirius laughed and Celeste slapped Pascal’s chest. “Well, there’s a Leo Knut cooking with a Hope Lupin so I think we’ll be able to help with that.”

“Is Logan here?” Adele said, pushing her way past her family.

“Yeah, living room. What, don’t care about me anymore?”

She rolled her eyes and gave him a hard hug before disappearing into the house.

Celeste gave Sirius a smile, looking after Adele. “We are still missing Logan being just downstairs. You were a hard loss, too, you know.”

“Tremzy,” Katie said and pointed forward.

Logan appeared with Adele under his arm and Pascal ducked down so Logan could take Katie into his arms.

“Salut, Katie,” Logan pressed kisses to her cheeks until she laughed.

Sirius watched them wander off towards the kitchen and then looked back at Celeste. “I think it goes both ways.”

“I am going to see if the chefs need any help,” Celeste said, and followed Logan and her daughters towards the kitchen.

Sirius watched them for a moment, and then turned back to Pascal. “Where are Louis and Marc?”

“Sleepover,” Pascal laughed and stepped inside, handing Sirius a bottle of wine. “I guess playoffs aren’t that cool anymore. Katie seems to like hockey the best.”

“She’d make a killer center.”

Pascal scoffed. “Killer, eh? Been hanging out with Remus.”

Sirius smiled. “Of course.”

“What about your younger one?”

Sirius closed the door and the warmth of the house picked up again. “With the younger Lupin down at the rink.”

“Oh? They are friends now?”

“I was surprised, too.”

Pascal patted Sirius’ back as they came through to the kitchen. “Kids are quick to forgive.”

“Blow on the spoon first,” Leo was saying to Katie. “So you don’t burn your tongue, and then tell me what you think.”

Logan laughed softly, kissing Katie’s cheek again. “Our entire dinner is riding on you, mon coeur.”

Sirius watched as Katie blew very carefully on the waiting bolognese sauce, and then let Leo feed her the spoon while she held onto Logan’s neck. His eyes found Finn next, who had a look on his face that Sirius knew well. Sirius looked at Remus, holding a glass of wine and talking to Eloise Knut and Hope.

Sirius could get used to this.

“Where are your parents, Dumo?” Sirius asked.

“I’ll fly them out when we win,” Pascal smiled, knocked on Sirius’ head, and then put a hand on his shoulder. “You know… Sometimes I want to shove you back in my basement and never let you out. But then I remember you’re not the same boy you were.”

One corner of Sirius’ mouth lifted. “That would be threatening, coming from someone else.”

“Yes, but you know what I mean.”

“Ouais,” Sirius said, and put his hand over Pascals. “I know.”

“This has been a hard season. Your team is going to work hard for you.”

“Pascal,” Sirius said softly.

“Dumasha,” Sergei’s gruff voice called, and he appeared beside them, clapping Pascal on the back. “Come play bubble hockey with me. I’m beating all the kids. Omg.”

“No, he’s not,” Thomas yelled.

“I’ll win,” Pascal warned.

“We’ll see, you lumberjack,” Sergei patted Pascal’s thick beard before retreating back towards the living room.

Pascal tussled Sirius’ hair once before following, and Sirius watched him go. His memories of living with the Dumais’ felt at once distant and like yesterday. The earliest ones were covered with ice. He had been terrified of his own family and his new one. The later ones went from ice to slowly melting frost to new, spring soil. Pascal had done that. And Celeste and the kids. And Arthur, and the team.

Remus.

Sirius walked over to where he was standing with the two women.

“Well, if it isn’t Sirius Black,” Eloise smiled and kissed him on the cheek. “Hi, honey.”

Sirius, a little surprised, laughed. “Hi, Mrs. Knut. Hope.”

“Hello, sweetheart,” Hope said. “Nice party we have here.”

“Thanks to you and Remus.”

“Oh,” Hope laughed and rubbed Sirius’ shoulder. “You have a beautiful house, it should be filled with your loved ones. A truly beautiful house…”

“Mom,” Remus laughed. “You can stop telling Sirius his house is beautiful.”

“Then I’ll tell him he’s beautiful. And probably so will your father. Sirius, my husband loves you.”

“Tell me about it,” Eloise said. “Wyatt’s walking around with a sharpie, so if you see him be ready.”

Sirius huffed out a laugh. “I’m ready.”

“He loves you. Not as much as Jules, of course,” Hope said.

Remus gestured to himself. “Um.”

“Of course, not as much as Remus,” Hope and Eloise smiled at each other. “I’ll leave you two. I’m going to find that Potter baby.”

Eloise hummed. “I’m gonna go convince Leo’s boys to move home with him for the summer.”

Remus smiled. “I don’t think you’ll have too hard a time.”

“Oh, I know I won’t.”

Sirius pulled Remus against his side, leaning back against the wall to look out at the scene that the kitchen was. Remus settled against him.

“You know,” Remus began, and then cut off.

“Quoi?” Sirius asked. He looked down at Remus’ thoughtful smile.

“Whether or not things…happen…”

Sirius laughed, knowing that this was Remus’ way of getting around setting him off in a round of superstition.

Remus looked up at him. “We’re doing pretty great.”

“I was just thinking that.”

“Good.”

Remus tilted his chin up, obviously wanting a kiss, and Sirius complied.

“I can’t believe we’re getting on a plane tomorrow,” Sirius sighed.

“Is Regulus still coming?”

Sirius nodded grudgingly. “No matter how many times I tell him it might be a bad idea. Even Minnie says—”

“He lost his rookie season,” Remus said. “I think he needs to be a part of this.”

“He’ll get—harassed by reporters.”

“So will you, and you’re still going.”

Sirius smiled and pulled Remus in closer, wine glass pressed carefully against the small of his back as he looped his arms around him. “That’s different.”

Remus wrinkled his nose. “Is it?”

“I’m the Captain. I’m just worried.”

“A true Captain’s job,” Logan said as he passed them, Timmy and Olli in tow.

“I am,” Sirius said after them, and when he looked back down it was to be kissed by Remus.

“Dinner!” Leo shouted, Hope beside him putting a stack of plates out. “Y’all come get it.”

“I’m gonna die,” Finn sighed, stopping beside them. “The accent is so here right now and I’m just—I’m gonna die.”

“Harzy, are you talking to us?” Remus asked.

Alex looked up from where he was standing with Kasey and Natalie. “Just ignore him, he’s a fucking puppy.”

“I’m pep-talking myself,” Finn took a long sip of his drink. “For life.”

Alex patted his back. “Okay, Fish, get it together.”

“Stop yelling at me.”

“I’m not yelling at you.”

“You’re yelling. I’m telling mom.”

Alex scoffed as they walked towards the food. “You can’t tell mom.”

Sirius snorted and pulled Remus away towards the plates to serve themselves.

~

Game one was rough and fast and disappointing. When Sirius had first skated out, the hisses had been deafening. Remus had watched from the bench with his nails digging into his palms. The Snakes had won 3-0. Close, but not enough. Kasey had made forty saves. Elias Cook had taken a puck to the knee and Remus knew even before evaluating him that he might be out for the run. Snape had been vicious. But so had Sirius. The locker room had been crowded, the families wonderful but adding pressure, and Remus was more than happy to watch Sirius collapse on their hotel bed. He was still in his game suit, but it was rumpled. The steely color had faded as the adrenaline did, and he looked tired.

“Fuck,” Sirius sighed, and raised his chin to look at Remus. “Why are you standing over there? C’mere.”

Remus laughed and chucked his bag down before falling beside Sirius onto the bed.

“Hell of a game,” Remus said. “It’s just one game.”

“Yeah,” Sirius replied, and then was quiet. “Riddle’s a good goalie.”

“So is Kasey.”

“No, I know, I just… we really couldn’t get a single shot in. I’m just happy we weren’t at home. God, Kasey’s probably just…kicking himself right now.”

“Nat’s here. And his family. She’ll talk some sense into him.” Remus said. After a moment, he groaned and sat up again. “Speaking of home, we should pack for the flight back tomorrow.”

Sirius groaned. “Come back.”

Remus laughed. “We have to be out the door at six tomorrow, and I know you won’t want to get up early to do it then. Just put your suit away, that’s all you brought anyway.”

“I just played an entire hockey game.”

Remus suppressed a smile as he took one of Sirius’ ankles and pulled off his shoe. “The world doesn’t know you’re like this.”

“Non.”

“I could tell them, you know.”

Sirius laughed. “That you undress me?”

Remus smiled. When both shoes had clunked to the floor, he straddled Sirius’ hips, hands going to his belt. “You’re right, maybe not.”

Sirius smiled and let his head fall back with a groan. “Fuck.” Remus let Sirius pull him down against his chest. “You’re so hot, but I’m so tired.”

“Oh, no way we were not about to have sex. You are waking up at six in the morning and you’re playing the game of your life the next night.”

Sirius let out a content sigh. “Hm.”

Remus pressed a kiss to his neck and then reached for the buttons of his shirt.

“I think we have to go to the net harder,” Sirius said thoughtfully as Remus pulled him into a sitting position.

“I think we need to get a handle on our power play,” Remus said, pushing Sirius’ shirt over his broad shoulders. He kissed those, too. “I think Coach should put Finn back on it. He’s ruthless when he wants to be.”

Sirius hummed. “Yeah. Him and James do well together, too. Will you murder me if I watch some tape?”

“You’re going to sleep.”

“I just want to see that second period play. You know—”

“Tremz was off-side and, no, Carrow didn’t push him,” Remus smiled when Sirius made a face. “Believe me, it happened right in front of me.”

“We were going to score.”

“I know,” Remus bent to kiss the scar on Sirius’ cheek, then the one on his lip. “But that’s hockey.”

Sirius kicked his pants off once Remus stood to go to his own suitcase. “I wish we had come out of the gate strong, that’s all.”

Remus snorted, tugging off his shirt. “Nice media lingo, there.”

Sirius rolled onto his stomach with a groan, then pushed himself into a standing position. A moment later, Remus felt his chest against his bare back, their skin warm against each other.

Sirius’ hands stroked over Remus’ sides, dipping into the muscle that cut along his hips. “You haven’t even asked me how my ribs are,” Sirius said against Remus’ temple. Remus could hear the smile in his voice. “You always ask.”

“I know you’re better,” Remus leaned against him, tilting his head to the side when Sirius began to kiss his neck gently. He put his hands over Sirius’. “I know we didn’t win, but you were amazing tonight.” He turned in Sirius’ arms and wound his fingers in his dark hair. "You see everything out there, huh?”

“I try,” Sirius said softly.

“You do,” Remus kissed him, then again and again. “Don’t get in your head, baby. You’re good.”

Sirius let out a breath, lips against Remus’ cheek. “I’m glad you’re here.”

Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius’ waist and held him there.

“Just tape for, like, ten—“

Remus pressed in closer. “Nope.”

Sirius’ laugh rumbled against his cheek. “Come to bed with me, then.”

~

It was better to be back in Gryffindor. Remus didn’t want to admit how much of a weight it was off of his chest to be away. To have the team away, and Regulus. It had been fine. Regulus hadn’t been bothered. Not yet, at least. They would be on a plane back to Slytherin tomorrow, win or lose.

“Shitter-McFucks,” Thomas said loudly. “We gotta win this game.”

“Where do you come up with these things?” Sergei sighed.

“I don’t know,” Thomas said, and he looked thoughtful. “They come to me. Makes sense though, right?”

Sergei made a barely affirmative sound and returned to taping his stick.

“T,” Remus said, smiling a little at the conversation. He held out Thomas’ shoulder pads. “Fixed it.”

Thomas took it and clutched it to his chest. “Sick, thanks, Loops. I love you.”

Remus smiled and turned to the room. “Does anyone need anything?”

There were a few murmurs of no, and Remus let out a breath. “Okay.”

Remus glanced at his watch. Twenty minutes until they had to be out for warm ups. Sometimes it was strange, thinking about the Snakes in this very building, doing the same thing they were. Taping sticks, getting dressed, stretching. Remus’ eyes found Regulus, who was sitting in Sirius’ stall while Sirius stretched out on the floor. They were talking intently, no doubt about the game. Regulus seemed to be drawing plays out on his palm, Sirius nodding along, then pointing, as if to correct something. Remus smiled at the sight, then walked over and crouched by Sirius’ shoulder.

Sirius looked up, hands around his ankles stretched in front of him. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Remus replied, and glanced at the door.

Sirius blinked. “Oh.”

“And I’m out,” Regulus sighed and stood.

Sirius stood, too, adjusting his snapback and catching Remus’ fingers. “Yes, yes, now?”

“I thought you could use a pick-me-up.”

Sirius cursed under his breath, grinning. “Re…”

He already looked flushed with it—with just the thought—and Remus wanted him. Badly.

Sirius was on his heels until they got to the PT room, looking carefully out into the hallway before shutting the door and turning the lock. He was still smiling when he turned, gently taking hold of Remus’ hips and backing him against the exam table.

“I love you,” he said into his first kiss, and then, into the second, “how do you want me?”

Remus hooked his fingers into the band of Sirius’ spandex and turned them so that his back was against the table, cushioned by the padding. Sirius leaned down to kiss along Remus’ neck.

Remus reached down to cup Sirius’ cock through the thin material of his spandex. “Just like this.”

“Jesus,” Sirius breathed. “Fuck, we—how much time?”

“We have time.”

Remus knelt on one knee, then the other. He pulled the spandex away to reveal Sirius’ cock, half hard but twitching as it filled. Remus’ heart beat faster, his own cock beginning to press out against his thigh.

Sirius’ hand was gentle against the back of Remus’ head as he took him into his mouth, sucking on the damp head.

Sirius half laughed, half moaned, brows drawn together a little as Remus took him down further. He was fattening up to full now, slick and heavy in Remus’ mouth.

“Ah—” Remus looked up to see Sirius’ head fall back. The tension fell out of his shoulders. His back arched a little, defined abs flexing through the thin material of his black undershirt. “Yeah—”

Remus sucked harder, keeping a hand wrapped around the base of his cock, stroking softly in the way he knew Sirius liked. Sirius was already spilling thinly over his tongue, bitter and warm. Remus pulled off to the head again, pressing his tongue to the slit hard and making Sirius jolt.

“God, Remus—” Sirius choked the words out, cock slicking itself more as Remus reached down to cup his balls and stroke behind them. Sirius widened his stance, welcoming the touch. “Ouais—yes.”

Remus stilled and pressed his hands behind Sirius’ hips, coaxing them forward gently. Sirius blinked down at him blearily. “You—you want me…”

Remus pushed Sirius’ hips forward more insistently and looked up. Sirius’ fingers tightened in Remus’ hair.

“Merde,” his hips fucked forward, almost on their own. “Re.”

And Sirius complied, fucking himself into Remus’ hot mouth in slow strokes. Remus was hot and aching in his own pants, and he reached down to push them under his balls. He moaned at the first touch, and Sirius picked up his pace. Remus’ breathed in through his nose, smelling Sirius’ slight sweat, and fucked his fist in time to Sirius’ hips. He was heavy on his tongue. Sirius’ breathing was heavy, eyes dark and hair curling out form under his hat. He was gorgeous, and strong, and Remus didn’t care if they won a silver cup when he had those silver eyes.

Sirius’ mouth was open, eyes tight with pleasure as he watched his cock sink in and out of Remus’ mouth, watched Remus’ hips move at the same time. Remus moaned as he pressed his palm against his own head, fingers tight around his shaft.

“Mon—I’m gonna—”

Remus felt flushed and turned on by Sirius standing there, half dressed before a game with his swollen cock looking like that. It was only a few more strokes before Remus felt Sirius begin to come in his mouth. Sirius’ hips stilled, abs flexing in, and Remus bobbed his head, sucking him through it.

“Yes, yes,” Sirius whispered, head dropped back again. He stopped breathing and grit his teeth. He pushed his cock into Remus’ mouth once, twice. “Ah.”

Remus pulled off when Sirius made a soft, sensitive sound. Sirius took one look at him, chest heaving, and dropped to his knees, too.

“Baby,” Remus’ voice shook, fist quick on his own cock. He needed to come so bad.

Sirius just pushed at his shoulders, laying him back until he was against the carpet and Sirius had him fully in his mouth. He worked Remus with his mouth quickly, groaning around him, and Remus’ hips arched off the ground towards the heat. He came hard, forcing his eyes to stay open so he could watch Sirius.

They lay there for a moment, Sirius panting with his cheek against Remus’ hip, before he pushed himself up and positively beamed at Remus.

“Nice and clean,” he said, and surged up and kissed Remus. “I fucking love you.”

Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius’ neck and licked into his mouth. “I love you, I love you. You’re going to play so well.”

Sirius smiled into their next kiss, biting at Remus’ lower lip. “I am now.”

Sirius pulled back with a questioning noise when Remus started laughing into their next kiss.

“I’m sorry,” Remus laughed through the words, stroking his hands over Sirius’ cheeks. “It’s like an entire new experience kissing you with this thing.”

Sirius grinned and rubbed their cheeks together. “You like it a little bit, I know you do.”

Remus smiled into the kiss, but didn’t answer, instead carefully tucking Sirius back into his spandex and patting his butt. “See you out there, Captain.”

It was Sirius’ first home game back and playing. Instead of the normal pump up songs, the Lions’ had a special pre-game video on the jumbotron. When the lights went down, it played the first notes of Back in Black. At first the song’s notes were spaced out, remixed. It was hard to tell what the song was, echoing through the stadium. As soon as the crowd figured it out though, they went wild, and then an image of the back of Sirius’ jersey, slow-motioned, played of him walking down the darkened tunnel to the ice, his last name shining in glossy letters.

Dum.

Fast clips of Sirius’ tricky, skating feet.

Dum-da-dum.

A goal from the season, beautiful and impossible—until Sirius did it. Remus’ heart pounded.

Dum-a-dum.

The crowd recognized the song. Hogwarts roared.

Dum-a-dum-dum.

Remus laughed on the bench, popping a piece of gum in his mouth.

“Marlene’s a genius,” he shouted over the noise to Moody.

“She is,” he laughed gruffly.

The video continued with the rest of the team, highlights from the season and snippets of interviews. Finn and Logan crashing together after a goal. Leo’s bright blue eyes, focused from behind his mask. We’re ready, his accented voice said. We feel ready. James and Sirius’ famous one-two plays. Evgeni, mountainous and bear-like. Pascal and Logan. The French Canadian father and son, came Frank’s voice, and then the clip cut, bleeding together into a whole. Pascal and Sergei, helmets pressed together. Thomas, proud and tall, flipping a puck right between a goalies legs. Walkie-Talkie, walking the walk!

A waving rainbow flag being waved by numerous fans.

Remus felt tears building in the back of his throat. He wished he could see Sirius right then.

Frank’s voice over the speakers. Lions fans. Welcome to the Stanley Cup Finals.

He drew out the next words in the way he always did. Your Gryffin-dor Li-ons!

The Snakes skated out for warm-ups when the Lions did, insignificant and dark in their black away uniforms. When the lights came up, the Lions were out, Kasey raking up his crease and the others doing a lap on their side of the rink. Remus saw Snape’s eyes flick over from behind his visor, but that was all.

Arthur was bent over his calling card with some of the assistant coaches, motioning to various players.

“How does it feel?” Remus asked Kasey when he skated over to the bench for some water while Leo warmed up in goal, too.

“It feels good,” Kasey said. “It—”

James skated up fast and stopped hard. “Blue.”

Remus raised an eyebrow at him. “James, you ask me this ever game, I really don’t know how…” Remus trailed off and crossed his arms. “This is a superstitious thing. Isn’t it.”

James, looking only a little guilty, smiled. “Blue?”

Remus handed it to him. “You are all insane.”

“Bliz,” Leo said, opening the bench door. “You’re back in.”

Kasey tapped his butt with his blocker and skated back out.

“Is he okay?”

Remus looked back at James. He had his contacts in, adjusting one with a knuckle. “What?” Remus asked. “Who?”

James looked over to center ice where Sirius was tracing the Lions’ logo with a puck. Remus could see fans filming him—or maybe it was Kuny, down on the ice with his legs in the air, stretching.

“You know how Cap gets,” James said. “How much did he beat himself up over the last few nights?”

Remus sighed. “Oh, he tried to watch tape.”

James snorted. “Of course.”

“Didn’t let him, though. I all but wrestled him into bed—no.”

James’ face was already lit up.

“Not like that, Pots.”

James laughed loudly, reaching with his stick for a puck to take back out with him. “Sure, Loops, sure.”

Logan and Finn were standing near middle ice together, waiting for the wrap-around shoot. Logan was laughing at something Finn was saying. He took his helmet off and put it back on again, like he did with his hat.

“Cute, huh?” Leo said, and when Remus looked over at him, he grinned.

Remus laughed. “Proud of yourself?”

“Very.”

Remus found Sirius again. He was at the far side of the rink, pushing a stick over the glass for a little kid.

“Yeah. Yeah, me too.”

The horn went to signal the end of warm ups, and the team skated back towards the bench so that the ice crew could get rid of the shaved up ice.

Sirius jumped the boards in front of Remus, and Remus could already see the game taking over his expression. He was chewing the inside of his cheek, tapping various teammates and talking fast directions to them. Go hard here, ease off this, cover Malfoy on the power play…

When the lights went down for the national anthem, it felt sudden. Remus’ heart jumped in his chest. Sirius glanced at Remus as he pulled his twelve necklace out from within his jersey, smiling before bowing his head and holding the pendant to his lips. Finn had his hand on Logan’s shoulder, Logan was holding his necklace, Leo was behind both of them, close and shuffling from skate to skate.

Remus looked over to the Snake’s bench. They were still. Their eyes were ahead. He thought about Regulus, up in the Lions box with the other families, looking down at the red and green. He wondered, not for this first time, if Sirius’ parents were here. He hadn’t asked. He didn’t want Sirius looking for them, even subconsciously.

Things didn’t get interesting until halfway through the second period. The Snakes were mirroring Sirius’ line, calling Snape’s out whenever Sirius jumped the boards. Malfoy was on him like a magnet, hammering him into the boards and getting penalties called on himself for slashing.

“What kind of fucking strategy is this?” Finn said before climbing back out onto the ice for their fourth power play of the period. Sirius was circling with one of the refs, talking with his hands, his mouthguard in one of his palms.

“Alright, boys!” James yelled. “Alright, alright, here we go!”

Not single goal had yet to be scored and the crowd was anxious for one, shouting at every moment a Lion was close to Riddle’s net.

Sirius, seemingly giving up on the referee, set up across center ice from Snape. He spat something that made Severus sneer and Remus—Remus couldn’t deny that it sent a new wave of heat through him. Sirius was all hockey now, and his eyes were on the Cup. The Stanley Cup wasn’t in the building yet, it was too soon, but it would be. Remus’ throat got tight when he thought about it. He’d never been this close. He never thought he’d ever be this close.

The puck dropped. Sirius scooped it back to Finn and darted into the Snakes’ zone, wrestling against Malfoy still. He shouted for James but Snape intercepted the pass, sudden and sloppy in his strokes, and carried it back to the center zone. Malfoy, though, was too busy with Sirius. The puck went careening towards the boards, momentarily alone, before Finn was there, catching it and carrying it towards Riddle. He faked once, weight on his toes, twice, and then shot it above Riddle’s left shoulder. The goal horn blared in red lights. His hands went up and so did Sirius’. Logan shouted from beside Remus on the bench.

“Fuck, Harzy,” he said, and Leo and him shared a smile.

Remus clapped with Hogwarts, glancing up at the jumbotron to see the score change from 0-0 to 1-0. Finn jumped the boards and Logan pressed their helmets together in the split moment that they met while leaving and getting onto the ice. Finn was sweaty and grinning.

“That’s what we’re doing,” Thomas shouted. “That’s what we’re doing.”

Sirius stayed out and Remus smiled. He wanted a goal, Remus could tell. He and James circled each other as they talked, heads close together so the others couldn’t hear or read their lips.

Remus patted Finn’s shoulder. “Good getting us going, Harz.”

“I’m good at getting boys going, Loops.”

Remus snorted and Leo shoved him.

Riddle was making a slow lap around the crease, eyes on Finn on their bench, then moving over, all the way across the ice, to Kasey, re-setting, too.

Remus looked between them, and when he returned to Riddle, he saw that he was spitting words at Snape and pointing to Kasey.

The lights changed, calling a TV break.

“Mon loup, c’est bon?” Sirius said. He put a foot up on the boards, stretching.

Remus hesitated, then nodded. “I—yeah. Your ankle? Is it stiff?”

“Non, just stretching,” Sirius smiled. “Worrier.”

“Hey,” Remus tried to smile back, but he was watching Kasey approach the bench. “Hey, Kase—”

“I saw it, too, Loops,” Kasey said, squirting some water into his mouth and glancing over at Riddle. “Believe me. That guy’s eyes practically glow like the ones on his mask.”

“Just watch out for any bad plays,” Coach said. “That goes for everyone.”

“I mean,” Kasey shrugged. “If he tries to get a goal by ramming into me, it’ll be no goal.”

“I’m not worried about the goal, Bliz,” Coach said. “I’m worried about you.”

One corner of Kasey’s mouth lifted in a smile. “Well, shucks, Coach.”

“Alright,” Coach nodded. “Let’s be careful and play hard.”

There was a chorus of yes, coach, and Pascal’s line went out for the face-off.

“What exactly did you see Snape and Riddle do?” Sirius asked, back in the locker room. He was smiling and wearing the Lions hat token that Logan had given to him after Sirius scored two goals in the third. They had won game two 4-2. The series was tied for now.

“Nothing really,” Remus was bent beside him by James, taping up a sore calf. “It was a look but…”

“But that’s all it really takes with Riddle,” James said. “Thanks Loops, that feels better.”

“Go easy on it, no running on the plane.”

“I don’t do that!”

“Yes, you really do.”

“Well, I am a responsible father now.”

“I didn’t see them try anything,” Sirius said, glancing over at Kasey. “But I’m not sure that makes me feel better.”

Remus sighed, running a hand over Sirius’ knee and using it to push himself up. “Me neither. But, hey.”

Sirius looked up at him, and Remus tilted the brim of the hat back so he could lean down for a quick kiss. “We won.”

“Lupin love,” Thomas shouted.

Remus laughed. “Do you need something, Walker?”

“Sirius!”

Remus didn’t have time to look behind him before Julian was barreling into his back, arms around his waist and gazing at Sirius.

“Those goals were so good.”

Sirius smiled. “Thanks, Jules. Wanna wear the hat?”

“Really?”

James leaned in. “Be warned of the countless sweaty heads that has adorned. We can’t wash it.”

“I wanna wear it!”

Sirius placed the hat on Julian’s head while the other families filed in. Remus saw Alex give his brother a tight hug, Leo’s dad going up to clap Logan on the back. Kris’ daughter went running to him, and he scooped her up with kisses. Julian had become fast friends with Regulus and was running to show him his hat where he was standing with Leo.

Sirius rose, locking his hands around Remus’ lower back. “Want to come cool down with me?”

Remus smiled, palms on his chest. “Oh, we’ll cool down, will we?”

“Yeah,” Sirius pressed a kiss to Remus’ cheek, beard dragging against his skin. “You know. Relax all of our tense muscles.”

Remus wound his fingers in Sirius’ sweaty hair. “I love you. Go shower.”

Sirius pressed a last, soft kiss to Remus’ mouth. “Don’t leave without me.”

“Never.”

Sirius’ house was warm and quiet when Hope unlocked the door.

Hope turned to Sirius once they were inside. “I made some spaghetti for you, Sirius, I thought you might be hungry.”

Sirius laughed. “Hope, tu es un ange.”

“He said you’re an angel,” Remus smiled. “And he’s right.”

“Remus makes the best post-game sandwiches,” Sirius pulled him close. “I guess I have you to thank for that.”

“Oh, no, that’d be Lyall,” Hope smiled, pulling a covered dish out of the refrigerator and turning to the microwave. “Lyall and Remus always made sandwiches together after his games.”

“And me,” Julian said, sliding into a chair at the kitchen table. “Right dad?”

“Every game,” Lyall smiled. “Best part of my day, bud.”

“Can I go skate, mom?”

“Julian Lupin, you are going right to bed. Do you know what time it is? I’ll let you miss school for this, and your bedtime, but there is a line, darling.”

“But we’re having spaghetti.”

Hope raised an eyebrow. “Did you just play a full game of hockey?”

Julian sighed. “No.”

“Okay then,” Hope stroked Julian’s hair. “Go get ready for bed, okay? Take dad with you.”

“C’mon, J, we’ll watch some of the post-game.”

Remus watched Julian and his dad trudge upstairs then turned to Hope. “Mom, let me do that. We have a long flight tomorrow again. Why don’t you go rest up, too?”

Hope looked between them and laughed, understanding. “Well, if you insist. I’ll just leave you two alone then. My son the chef, that’s new!”

Remus snorted. “It was new, like, four years ago!”

Hope smiled and kissed Remus on the cheek, then Sirius. “See you two tomorrow.”

When the microwave beeped, they shared the bowl with two forks, ankles tangled below the table.

“Are you really worried?” Sirius said after a few beats of silence. He twirled his fork in the noodles and held it out to Remus. “About Kasey. About Snape.”

Remus took Sirius’ fork gently into his mouth. “I don’t know. I know he’s worried. He’s nervous about his thigh. I can tell. It’s like you, early on with your ankle. Timid.”

Sirius nodded slowly. “Do you think I should talk to him?”

Remus shrugged. “It couldn’t hurt. Kasey’s strong, but it’s always good to hear you’re good.”

Sirius’ smile was sly, if not a little sleepy. “So I learned today.”

Remus smiled. “Eat so we can sleep. You frickin sweetheart.”

Sirius laughed and pulled the bowl towards him to scrape the last of the noodles towards him and into his mouth. After putting it in the sink, he bent over the back of Remus’ chair, arms across Remus’ chest.

“Bed?”

Remus tilted his head back for a kiss. “Bed.”

~

Slytherin was cold and the Snakes were vicious. Remus looked up at the second period clock running down as he prodded at Sirius’ left shoulder. Sirius was breathing heavily, Moody holding cotton to his bleeding nose.

Malfoy was in a similar state, being led to the the penalty box.

“Finally got tired of him being all over you, eh?” Remus said, then, more firmly, and loudly to be heard over the Slytherin crowd, “Do you have to go back to the locker room with me?”

“Non,” Sirius yelled, batting Moody’s hand away and swiping his own across his nose. The bleeding had stopped. “I’m good, allez.”

Remus nodded, replacing Sirius’ shoulder pad and pulling his jersey back down over his shoulder and arm. “All right, go.”

“Love you,” Sirius breathed, and then hopped the boards to go to the penalty box. Remus couldn’t help but smile a little as he watched him and Malfoy spit words at each other through the glass.

Coach leaned in. “He okay?”

Remus nodded. “He’s fine.” He looked back over at the penalty box, at Malfoy inside. “Blondie’s really not gonna leave him alone this whole series, huh?”

“That’s their way,” Coach grumbled. “Stick on you like leeches. Sirius knows how to handle it.”

Evgeni and Jackson made their way back onto the bench.

“Just take your time, the word will come to you,” Jackson was saying. “Kuns, you can’t get frustrated like that.”

Evgeni grumbled something in Russian and Jackson just nodded along.

“Nado, score goal,” he ended with.

“I’m trying.”

They were down three nothing, and Remus looked back at Kasey. He was tense, in his own head. Remus would give anything to be able to talk to him.

The puck dropped, Logan on the face-off. They were four-on-four, Sirius leaning forward in the box, probably hoping for a jack-in-the-box goal. Snape carried the puck in easily, past Olli, deking around Pascal only to be crushed to the boards by Timmy. He lost it for a second, but Logan flubbed a pass and then it was on Carrow’s stick.

“Shit,” Remus swore under his breath.

Carrow was a ruthless, fast skater. He pushed towards Kasey, closer and closer.

Despite everything, Remus wasn’t expecting him to ram into Kasey, disregarding the puck entirely, and knocking them both into the net.

The goal horn blared and Carrow didn’t even look up as he skated off the ice and down the tunnel. He knew he was too dirty to be allowed back in the game. Some of his team members patted him on the back. Remus felt sick.

Remus leaped up—and Kasey stayed down. The ref was blowing the whistle hard.

“Fucking interference!” James shouted, voice breaking with how much he had been at it. “Fuck!”

Kasey hit the ice with his stick as he rose, slowly. So slowly.

Sure enough, the referee skated out, hands in a cross, signaling that there was no goal.

Just as suddenly, the crowd started to sing. At least, at first Remus thought it was singing. Then, he recognized the sound.

“Winter,” the crowd was saying in a long, drawn out drone. It was haunting. It was over and over again.

Winter, Winter.

They were taunting him. Kasey was lapping his goal. He was favoring one leg. He was keeping his head down.

“Coach,” Remus said quietly. “Coach, he’s hurt.”

“Let’s see what he does,” Coach said. “Let’s see, Kasey’s not reckless.”

“He might be if the entire crowd is taunting him into it.”

“We have ten seconds left. He can last ten seconds.”

“We’ll keep it away from him,” Thomas said. His eyes were dark. “Jesus, Kase.”

The ten seconds went, and the end of the second period rang out.

Kasey was down on one knee in his crease, head bowed. Then, he lifted his gaze and looked right at Remus. Remus could only just make out his brown eyes through his mask. Kasey gave a slight shake of his head.

Walking back down the tunnel was a blur. Sirius was holding his hand until they had to part ways. Remus looked up at a TV as he passed and stopped when he saw himself. It was the moment from earlier. He had his hands up Sirius’ jersey, checking his shoulder, while Sirius had his head turned close to him, mid-sentence, blood dripping down his face.

“Black and Lupin, close on the bench this game,” the show host was saying and Remus scoffed. “And what looked like a bad hit on Lions starting goalie, Kasey Winter, by the Snakes tonight. Lucky for the Lions, they don’t have too bad a rookie. Nineteen year old Leo Knut, Louisiana born…”

Remus kept walking, pushing open the door to the quiet room where Kasey was waiting for him on his back on the exam table. He had his bad leg stretched out.

“Hi Kase,” Remus said softly.

Kasey had an arm over his eyes, and he pulled it away slowly. “Hi, Loops.”

“You okay? Can I get you some water or a bar or something?”

Kasey shook his head. “No. Let’s just—let’s get this over with. Just tell me.”

Remus bit his lip, but nodded. “Okay. I’m gonna take your shorts off, alright?”

Kasey nodded, and Remus worked quietly until he was stripped to his underarmour and Remus could feel his strong muscles and tendons. Remus was gentle and quick. Kasey wasn’t a player who liked things sugar coated.

“Well?” Kasey asked in a rough voice.

“It—it has a light tear, I think,” Remus said softly, and Kasey closed his eyes. “I need you to rest Kase. Don’t think I haven’t seen you pushing yourself. I know it’s frustrating.”

“Barely,” Kasey grit out. “I’ve been barely pushing myself. It’s—it’s just not—”

There was a knock at the door, making them both look up.

Natalie poked her head in, and the moment Kasey saw her he pressed a palm over his eyes and sucked in a sharp breath of tears.

“Kase,” Natalie was rushing forward, the door falling shut behind her. She rubbed a palm over his chest, the other in his hair. “Hey, baby, you’re all right.” She kissed his forehead. “You’re all right.”

“I’ll give you two a second,” Remus said quietly, and she nodded.

“Thanks, Re.”

Remus felt overly hot and heavy when the door closed behind him. The hallway looked busy and loud with staff members.

“Remus.”

Remus turned at Arthur’s voice, meeting worried, stern eyes.

“Tell me,” Arthur said.

“These injuries are tricky,” Remus managed. “They’re easily aggravated and…”

“And I should get Knut warmed up?”

“Yes,” Remus said, even though it hurt. “Yes.”

Arthur pressed his lips together and they stood there for a moment, the chaos around them.

“I’m going to go see Bliz,” Arthur said. “Tell him he’s good.”

“Natalie’s in there. I think you should give him a minute.”

Arthur nodded. “Okay. Go see the boys. I’m coming back in five to go over strategy.”

“Okay,” Remus managed a tight smile, and headed for the locker room.

Sirius was on him in a moment, sweaty and stripped down to his pads and socks.

“No, it isn’t good,” Remus said before he could ask. “Where is Leo?”

“Warming up,” Sirius said. “Fuck. Re—”

“Loops?”

It was Evgeni.

“Blizzard is okay?” he asked. The rest of the locker room quieted to listen.

Remus shook his head. “He’s okay but he’s done for the season.”

Remus turned to Sirius and took his hand. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” Sirius said. “Are you?”

“I feel horrible,” Remus said. “I should have watched him closer, I should have—I knew how hard he was being on himself, I’ve been there.”

“Re, this isn’t your fault. Did you see that hit? Carrow’s out of the game and he’s gonna get a suspension for that. It was completely insane.”

“They’ll just replace him with Bones. You know they will, that’s their whole strategy. They don’t care how hard the hit is—”

“They don’t care about their players,” Regulus cut in. He was standing with Pascal and offered a humorless smile. “Whatever makes the game easier.”

“And yet their motto is always pure hockey,” Pascal shook his head.

“I need to find Leo.”

“He’s with Finn and Logan by the bikes,” Regulus said.

Remus nodded, pressed a palm to Sirius’ cheek, and then turned away.

Leo was stretched out on the floor in his spandex, Logan and Finn talking with him as they kept their muscles warm on the bikes. They looked up when Remus entered.

“Is Nut in?” Finn asked.

“Yes.”

Leo sat up. “Is Kasey…” but he trailed off at Remus’ expression. “Fuck.”

“Bliz,” Logan sighed, raking his fingers through his sweaty hair before hanging his head, elbows on the bike handlebars and feet slow. It had been Logan’s missed pass.

“It isn’t your fault, Tremz. We just have to hope for the best. But get warm, Leo, okay? You can see him after.”

Leo nodded. “Okay. Not my first play off game or anything. No pressure. At least my family is here.” Leo let out a long breath and touched his forehead to his knees. “My mama would cry if she missed this.”

Remus looked to Finn and Logan. “You guys good?”

Finn nodded. “Yeah, Loops, we’re good.”

Remus pushed back into the hallway, hoping to go back to Kasey, only to be met by Alice. He tried to duck out, but she walked with him.

“Coach says he’s in,” she said, gesturing to the door closing on the cubs. “He told me to come to you for news on Kasey.”

“Slight tear in the adductor longus,” Remus said as they walked down the hall. When Alice just gave him a look, Remus sighed. “Inner thigh.”

“So, his repeating injury.”

“Yes, but,” Remus stopped, hand on her shoulder. They were at the locker room. “Do me a favor, and don’t put that in the press statement. I don’t want him hearing that right now.”

Alice’s expression softened. “You’re good to them, Lupin.”

Remus was already pushing open the door. “They’re good to me.”

Out on the ice, Leo was met by hisses and jeering. Finn and Logan kept close to his side while he marked him his crease, circling and tapping his posts.

Moody chuckled from beside Remus. “Not superstitious, eh?”

Remus patted Sirius’ shoulder. “That can only last so long when you’re around this one twenty-four seven.”

Sirius turned. “Quoi?”

“Nothing,” Remus said, and shared a knowing look with Moody.

“Where’s Bliz?” James asked.

“Watching with Natalie and his family in the recovery room,” Remus said. “He’ll be okay, you guys focus. Win this game for him.”

Remus looked out at Leo, at Pascal on the face-off.

The referee dropped the puck, and the third period of game three began.

[giranswife]

Date Night

Summary: Just a little gift fic for my best friend @self-shipping-angel and her ship with Dabi! A little spin on a date night in true fashion for him, but still wanting to surprise his kitten with something special. Even though Say is still a little... skeptical of his ideas.

W: self-insert x canon, suggestive mention, alcohol mention

(( I’m like obsessed with sayeko’s ship with Dabi, I’m not even kidding. Love these two and love our canon that we have created to be quite honest. I remembered talking about this idea with her a while back on discord, and I just had to write this. I’m so glad that you like it, Say! ))

“What’s that look for, huh?” Dabi’s voice cut through the apartment in a tired grumble. He stood at the open doorway of his bedroom, watching the swaying of his girlfriend’s hips as she stomped off. 

It was too early in the morning for him to be chasing after her. He still had a good couple of hours to sleep in before he wanted to actually get up. Say, on the other hand, gets up way before him always when she has work to do. Typically he would try to coax her back to bed for a few more minutes, but today she seemed to be rather in a rush. It didn’t help that he had already made her late by causing her to oversleep after last night's… events.

“You know exactly what this look is for,” She grumbled herself, turning over her shoulder to look at him while slipping into her heels.

He shrugged his shoulders, hand reaching up to ruffle his hair back into place.

With an eye roll, Say flicked her hair over her shoulder and pressed her palm against the wall to steady her footing. There was a hurriedness to her actions, glancing down at her phone in her hand and spilling curses in between her words. She was very late. Very goddamn late. All because of this man that she can’t seem to resist. No matter how hard she tries.

“All I said was that I wanted to take you on a date tonight. Shit-”

“Yeah, a ‘date’. I’m sure you mean a fucking date.”

“I do! What did you fucking think I meant?”

She narrowed her eyes, finally getting her heels on and folding her arms across her chest.

Even though she technically didn’t have a lot of time to be standing around arguing with him, there was a part of her that was kind of curious. The two of them aren’t exactly the couple that goes on dates, or rather he never takes her out on dates. This is the first time she’s hearing of an actual date instead of their usual hang out and fuck around. Dabi and dates don’t really go hand in hand.

But he seemed annoyed that she was even questioning it in the first place. Almost as if she didn’t have a reason to be suspicious.

“Oh, gee-- I don’t fucking know. Trying to smooth talk into my pants again tonight, maybe?”

He leaned further against the doorframe, his body slowly giving out under the weight of sleep. Eyelids growing heavier as a small, tired smirk grew onto his lips.

“Hell, I mean… Sure it’ll fucking end up like that. But I’m being serious. You and me, date night.”

Say’s shoulder fell forward a little bit, feeling a bit persuaded by his words. A part of her wanted to believe that he was telling the truth, at least for the most part. It was sounding really nice to be able to actually go out on a date together. Something that they never usually did. It also gave her an excuse to get all dressed up for the occasion.

With only a few minutes left to spare, she decided to just let him have this one. If he truly meant a date night, then she would believe him. Plus, she kind of spent the last few minutes chatting with him instead of running out the door. 

“Fucking hell,” She mumbled, “Alright, fine! I’ll believe you! I’ll be back here tonight-”

“That’s my girl. See ya then.”

He winked, watching her purse her lips before she shut the door behind him.

Say huffed loudly, realizing that she probably just gave in to him. Like always. Yet again. But that didn’t matter now given that she was still very very late to her meeting. Thank god that she knew the client well enough to know that she could do a few things to satisfy them and deter them from it, but this was just reminding her of how bad of an influence Dabi was.

This doesn’t happen often, of course, but it was just one of the reasons that was giving her major red flags. But a part of her did like lying in bed with him for a few extra minutes. Feeling the warmth of his skin against hers, curled up underneath the weight of his arms that were wrapped around her. She really couldn’t imagine being anywhere else in that moment, and that caused her cheeks to burn at the mere thought of it.

Even though she tried to put it out of her mind, she knew that it was no use. At this point she’s come to accept her feelings, but that doesn’t mean she still isn’t struggling to get used to it. Having such a deep connection with someone and being in love was something that she had pushed back for so long, but now she was just so incredibly happy. Even if Dabi could be a bit of an asshole sometimes, she really did care about him.

He was very important to her, just as the rest of her guys were. But he… There was something special about him. Not that she picked favorites, of course, but there would always be something there. Nagging at her. Reminding her.

This date night better be exactly what she had hoped for, because her hopes were getting higher and higher with every step on her heels.

It had been several hours since the meeting, Say finally settling down at the hideout at the bar. She hadn’t planned on stopping by for long, but after being on her feet for a while she really needed to sit down. It wasn’t even the drinks that tempted her, though that didn’t stop her from at least having one before she left.

She had stopped by her apartment on the way to change into something much nicer for their date tonight, and she was going all out. One of the nicest dresses that she owns, along with some jewelry that were some of her favorites. A lot of the guys were definitely checking her out when she came through the door, and she was definitely loving the compliments that she was getting.

“Holy shit,” A voice called from the couch, “Where you goin’ looking that gorgeous, Sexy?”

Ash lifted her brows, flashing her canines in a teasing smirk.

Say laughed a bit, just hopping off the bar to grab her things as she heard the voice. With a flick of her hair, she turned on her heels to face the woman with a wink in her direction. “Just out for the night. Don’t wait up, Beautiful,” She said in a sultry tone, which only made Ash fan herself in response.

“Fuck, yes ma’am. You got it-”

There was a ripple of laughter between the two of them, chattering a bit as she walked towards the door to leave. Say’s confidence is already high, but hearing their complements definitely had her feeling really good. She was also getting more and more excited for the date, curious to see what Dabi had planned.

Deciding to put her trust that he had a decent outing in the works, she decided not to waste time to hurry to the apartment. Not wanting to keep him waiting but also wanting to get the night started. It was definitely not also given the fact that she already was missing him, a fact that she wouldn’t say out loud at the moment. Not until he earned it.

With a smile on her lips, she sent a quick text to let him know that she was coming up to his building. He gave a quick reply that the door was open, and that was pretty much all she got. He must be busy at whatever it is he was planning, which got her even more excited. The more her excitement grew, the more that she scurried to the door. It wasn’t until she opened the door that all of those feelings seemed to…

Deflate.

“There’s the princess,” Dabi said with a smirk, “Was wondering how long you were gonna fucking be. Thought the food was gonna get cold there for a minute.”

Her eyes flickered from him to the pizza boxes on the coffee table, sat out for the two of them along with a few glasses for wine. A wine, she might add, that was given to him by her not that long ago. There was also a case of beer for him, sitting off to the side.

There weren’t a lot of words that could escape her lips, because she was completely taken aback by it. Of course, she should have expected it. This was a total Dabi move, and she knows him better than anyone. It was just his persistence that was making her think that he was actually going to do things differently.

His eyes flicked down the front of her, lifting his brows with a smirk growing on his face.

“Damn, you looking nice, Kitten. Feel like I won the fucking lottery or something.”

Normally a comment like that would have her weaker, but right now she was feeling pretty disappointed. That was clear on her face almost immediately, the pout forming rather quickly.

“What the hell, Dabi,” She mumbled, “I thought we were going out tonight?”

His smirk fell a little, walking towards her with his arms outstretched.

“I said a date! This is a date! Where the fuck would we even go out, huh?”

“I don’t know! A restaurant! Somewhere for gods sake instead of this fucking apartment-”

She turned away from him, seeing that he was making moves to bring her into his chest. A tactic that he tends to do a lot the moment that he sees her pout start to form. This time it probably wasn’t going to work as easily as it would, but that doesn’t mean that he wouldn’t try regardless.

And try the man did. Wrapping his arms around her middle, he pulled her closer until he could rest his chin on the top of her head. He was strong enough that she could barely even wiggle, feeling his grip tightening around her the more that she moved. It was causing her pout to worsen, and she refused to look at him even whenever his hand reached up to grasp her jaw. The entire palm seemed to wrap around it perfectly.

“Hey, hey are you actually mad?” He asked, trying to look down at her to see her face.

“What do you think, Dabbbiiiiiii-”

He huffed a sigh, trying to spin her around even though it was clear that she wasn’t budging.

“Say, say c’mon- Just sit down and eat, you’re probably fucking hungry-”

She swayed a little bit, finally giving up on her wiggling and focusing on the way that his body enveloped her own. He was so much taller than her, which gave his body the perfect height to be able to swallow her in this position. That was hard enough to ignore, especially since he was alway a lot warmer as well.

With her lips pressed tightly, she finally turned around and pressed her body against his chest. Her hands fiddled with the material of his shirt, and she breathed in the scent of him almost instantaneously. It was hard for her to be so upset with him when he was holding her like this, and that was one of the many frustrations that she had about him. He was just too goddamn good.

“I was really looking forward to going out tonight,” She mumbled, “We never go on an actual date.”

“Fuck..”

He could tell that she was genuinely upset, and that was something that he still wasn’t sure how to deal with. Though, he does know that seeing her upset definitely doesn’t sit well with him. All he wants to do is make it better, even if he really doesn’t know how to do that or what words to use to make it better. He’s not exactly the best at that.

Which is why he hooked his arm around her waist, and stepped backwards to plop down on the couch. Within a couple of swift movements, he had her sitting on his lap and had his hands in her hair. Say’s voice chirped in her throat, and she swallowed a bit in surprise. Her face was getting hot, and she tried her best to play it off even though it was all happening so fast.

With his fingers running through her hair, his eyes intensely trailed her face before leading back up to her own. It caused her to shift a little under his gaze, still trying to pout but not exactly succeeding on it. Especially not with him being so close and his hands touching her lip this.

“If you think trying to fuck me is a good way to make up for this you’re-”

“Hey, will you let me speak before you go off on me? That’s not what I’m trying to do-”

Say’s words stopped short, slowly closing her mouth and nodding to him.

Dabi huffed once again, sitting further back on the couch and groaning under his breath. This wasn’t exactly easy, but it had to be done. The quicker that he apologized, the faster they could get on to enjoying their night. Because whether or not she could see that, he really did want her to have a fun night. He really just wanted to see her happy.

“Okay, look, sorry for getting your hopes up. Thought you wouldn’t mind watching a couple movies. Didn’t know that you wanted to go out so bad-”

“I mean… I want to go out with you. I don’t fucking care where. Just being with you is… enough…”

Her voice trailed off, and she glanced away feeling a little embarrassed by her words. Just enough for him to notice, which only made his smirk reappear onto his face.

“Oh yeah?” He asked, tilting her face to look at him.

“Ye-Yeah… so what?”

Though she was trying to be coy, her words were slowly failing her as he pulled her closer. It all happened so fast that she could barely blink, and his lips were immediately warm against her own. Yet again how it always ends whenever he gives her those looks and touches her with those hands. It’s hard to resist the more and more that she grows attached to the feeling. And Dabi knows this fact all too well.

With his hand in her hair, he parted her lips with his tongue and explored her mouth without ever giving a second to breathe. Neither of them needed it, because in that moment they just wanted to be as close as they could be. Everything else seemed to melt away, and it was just the two of them in their own little bubble. Nothing else mattered by the warm touch and kiss that was shared.

And Say knew that was enough for her.

Whenever he pulled away, there was a moment where she panted and gazed at him at a loss for words. He had done it yet again, and she still couldn’t be mad at him. No matter how hard she tried, she still felt happy as could be sitting on his lap. Another night of pizza, wine, and movies was just bliss. Even if she was still wishing that she could have her date night in the future.

“Fuck, Kitten, I’d kiss you more if the food wasn’t getting cold-”

Say rolled her eyes, pulling away from him and starting to crawl off his lap.

“What? Are you not fucking hungry?”

She paused for a second, opening her mouth to speak before her stomach interrupted. It caused a small ripple of laughter to fall from his mouth, and he pulled her in by the back of her neck for another long kiss. He drew it out just enough for her to want more, pulling away with the biggest smirk that he could muster.

“Just fucking eat, Princess. You know you wanna-”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. But you fucking owe me.”

She humphed loudly, though there was a smile forming on her lips as she tucked her legs underneath her on the couch.

“Mhm, yeah. Don’t worry. I’ll make up for it later.”

He stuck out his tongue, flicking it a bit just enough for her cheeks to flame brightly.

With a smack to his arm, she swiped the bottle of wine from the table and quickly chugged straight from the bottle. It was going to be another long night with him, but even though he was a pain in the ass sometimes, she really did love him. That point was clear the more that she stayed, finding it harder and harder to leave him every day.

Though, she definitely wasn’t complaining.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #259

"i went straight to heaven, but i kept on knockin’.”

What's something that makes you feel more creative? Music. What are the last three nail polish colors you wore? Wow, idk the last time I wore nail polish, but probably black or maroon. What's the last thing you binge watched? Avatar: The Last Airbender w/ Sara. Do you watch youtube videos or tv shows more? YouTube is essentially my TV. Quite literally - I don't have a television in my room because I never watch it. What's a DIY project that you don't think actually works? Oh dude, plenty. I have DIY-obsessed friends online as well as a Pinterest, I know this shit, lmao. I can name one though with total certainty because I was with a friend when she tried that disgusting "YOU CAN MAKE cuPCAkES IN A C uP!!!!!" crap. It's the most eggy shit you'll ever try. Do you collect Mason jars to use for crafts? No, but I think those crafts are generally super cute. Have you ever gotten rid of something and then regretted it? If so, what? (or what's one thing?) Oh yeah, one of my biggest being my senior prom pictures, but not for the reason you'd expect (save for two pictures of us that're just REALLY fuckin cute): I want them back because goddamn I was pretty ok and I miss that now that I hate my body every waking moment of every day. :^) What color is the zip-up hoodie you wear the most? Don't have one w/ a zipper, they're ugly. Do you live in an apartment that has inspections? No. Do you hate taking naps during the day? Nooo I love naps and usually take one a day. I tend to feel really tired all over again a few hours or so after I wake up. Who in your immediate family has the best natural hair? MEEEEEEEEEEEE. Would you ever audition for American Idol? Hell no. Do you know anyone who thinks they're more talented than they are? Lol wow, this is mean. I don't think so. Do you buy gum? Rarely, even though I like it. What's your favorite dollar store?  I don’t have a favorite, I'd say? But I think we normally go to Dollar General. How many cell phones have you had in your lifetime? Maybe like, six? Have you ever been inside a Victorian mansion? BITCH I WISH!!!!!!!!!!!! I would kill to get married in one, omfGGGGGGGGGGG. What was the most boring field trip you ever want on? I don't remember a bad one. I loved going on field trips. The last time you went, what were your favorite rides at Cedar Point? I’ve never been. Which country would you most like to visit? Eeeeek idk, but probably South Africa. What are your favorite types of videos to watch on YouTube? What I watch on YouTube has become pretty diverse, but I know my favorites are easily Mark's actual big projects w/ egos 'n shit alksjdflk;w gOOD SHIT MY FRIENDS. I still love let's plays, of course! Are you a hoarder? No. Is there a guy (or girl) that you wish things had worked out with? Yes. If you were to start a collection, what would it be? I'd loooove Shadow of the Colossus stuff, particularly the amazing figures they used to have only in Japan. And World of Warcraft stuff; all I have rn is an Illidan poster and a fae dragon plushy hanging from my ceiling that Jason got me. If you were rich, what things would you get done cosmetically? Mother of god, a lot. #1, make me skinny again for the love of fuck. Which would result in loose skin being taken off and probably a breast lift because being overweight ruined my comfort with them laskdjfw. Whiten my teeth and give me laser hair removal surgery on my legs, please. Are your parents too controlling? Not at all. Who is your favorite fictitious redhead? VOL'JIN Blizzard what the FUCK give him BACK What shows have you seen on Broadway? None. Who is the prettiest Asian YouTuber that you can think of? Bitch Mark is Korean and he's gorgeous as fuck goddamn it ain't fair. But this is a weird question. What is the best news you've heard lately? When my mom got a follow-up blood test, things looked good!! She especially needed to level out her sugar, which she did well on. She also didn't lose or gain any weight, so that's wonderful. Have you ever flown first class? Hunny I am v poor. Have you ever had food SO bad in a restaurant that you sent it back? I don't believe so, anyway. Do you talk in your sleep? Very regularly now. Have you ever locked yourself out of your house? OOF, yes. Are you the type of person who can shake insults off easily, or do they tend to stick around in your brain & bother you? They stick with me for a long, long time. At least two I remember from years upon years ago. Who was the last person you cut out of your life intentionally? My old therapist that I trusted and loved when I fucking shouldn't have. Where were you raised? By who? Eastern NC, by my parents. What were your first words? "Dada." What were some of your favorite things when you were young? DINOSAURS, Webkinz, Pokemon, and Spyro, to name a few. What did you grow up listening to? Mostly country and pop music. What games did you play in the past? Spyro was my obsession, and I also loved hunting games (ironic, as irl I would never even consider it???) as well as fishing ones, plus Crash Bandicoot. What was the best birthday party you ever had? I'm not sure. How about the best vacation? I'm unsure; I haven't really been on a lot. Do you have any secrets you never intend to tell? Yup. What memory would you like to disappear from your mind forever? A nightmare I had about my dad. If you were someone else, would you be friends with the person you are now? Yeah. Do you consider yourself a smart person? No. What friend in your life has been the greatest influence to you? I don't know. Where is the scariest place you’ve ever been? What made it so terrifying? I shared a bedroom with an EXTREMELY volatile, violent woman once in the mental hospital. As in she had to go in solitary when she had a violent episode, during which she became very destructive to her surroundings, so as you could guess, I was worried about my own wellbeing. She was eventually moved because I was that uncomfortable. Did you celebrate Easter? Are there any holidays you are more inclined to celebrate than others? If so, which? Well, Easter hasn't come yet, but we'll probably go to my sister's house for the kids. We'll celebrate Christmas and Thanksgiving without fail. We don't pay much attention to others. I'd LOVE to do something for Halloween, we just never have anywhere to go/anything to do. What was the last thing you deleted? Pictures. What colors make up the majority of your wardrobe? Is there any color you like, but don’t wear often? There's black there. Oh, there's s'more black. What's that???? More bLACK????? MAN, I wish I could pull off pink. When was the last time you were in any amount of pain? I had a pretty intense headache yesterday. Who was the last person to hug you? Do you hug this person often? My niece, and yeah, every time I visit. What are you most likely to argue or debate about? The fact I almost never leave my pajamas lmao. What was the last show you watched? Have you seen it before, or is it something you’re watching for the first time? A few days back, I was reeeaaally bored and actually watched TV deliberately, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?????? It was The Witcher; wasn't bad. I'd be willing to watch more. How would you describe your taste in clothing? What would a dream outfit look like to you? uuuuuggggGHHHHHHHH let me be GOTH. Give me a corsette if they weren't notoriously uncomf with plenty of chains 'n stuff. BIG, SPIKY BOOTS. SKINNY LEATHER PANTS. UUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHH. Have you ever tried snowboarding? No. What’s your favorite planet besides Earth? Saturn is dope. Would you ever be a coach for any sport? Nope. What color of eyes do you have? Blue. Do you like tacos? NOOOOOOOOO. White or red wine? Wine is gross. Do you prefer foxes or wolves? Foxes. What’s the youngest you would consider dating? No younger than 21. Do you think suits are sexy? mmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Did you go to high school with your current best friend? No. What is your boss’ (or school prinicpal’s) name? N/A Were you a fan of Michael Jackson before he died? I was never really a fan. Respected him immensely as a musician, I just didn't care much about his music. Turkey or ham for Thanksgiving? Ham. Turkey is always too dry and stringy. Do you look good in hats? I wouldn't know, I haven't worn one in forever. Never with short hair. Colons or equal signs for your smiley face's eyes? Colons. Do you like architecture? If so, do you have a favourite style or structure that you’d like to make note? Yes, and I should really have an answer for this, as architecture was a big part in Art History... Ummm Etruscan stands out, and of course Roman/Greek (even after the class I don't remember their differences well...). I love Middle Eastern architecture, too. What is one of your favorite words, in any language, and why? I just love the sound of "serendipity," as well as uhhhh "sakura" in Japanese and "kanji" in Chinese. I'm trying to think of a German one, as there certainly are some, but they're evading me right now. Where is the farthest you’ve travelled on foot? JESUS FUCK probably going to get Sara's brother from school, mother of all that is holy. But it might just feel like it because it was during the peak of my muscle atrophy in my legs. Are there any songs that you perhaps like but avoid because it makes you sad when heard? A good number. Do you like the area that you live in? What do you like or dislike about the area? NO. There's not shit to do and it's not aesthetically pleasing at all. Do you have a memory of when you really thought that you have lucked out on something? If so, what was it? Uhhhhh. A handful, I guess? Oh, uh, the suicide attempt to name one and probably the biggest. I took way too many of those pills to experience almost zero symptoms of an overdose; I did look up what "too many" was, because I wanted that. I'd say I was pretty fuckin lucky. If you have apps on your mobile phone, which one do you use the most? Facebook. Which do you like better: fantasy or science fiction novels? Why? FANTASY!!! I think it allows more creativity and possibilities of something magically "making sense" because yeah, it's fantasy. Science fiction has more "realness" to it, more, obviously, scientific elements versus make-believe. Do you like opossums? Do you think it is ethically right for others to keep opossums as pets? OPOSSUMS!!!!!!!!! ARE!!!!!!!!!! FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They're my second-favorite animals kdsja;lkdjaw. BUT ANYWAY, no, unless it's for rescue reasons. When was the last time someone asked you a huge favor or advice? Do you get asked often by this person? Oh I have no idea. Probably my mom? And no, definitely not. She hates asking for help. What are your thoughts on nihilism? I definitely get it, but it's not my personal outlook. Do you like the snow? More like love. What are your thoughts and feelings towards work/jobs in general? I don't know? I've never even had a real, steady job, so it's hard to really answer... I've only had bad experiences. It's kinda weird to me how you have to work your ass off (usually) to get a job you enjoy, as well as slave for some stupid green paper until the day you die just to stay alive and healthy. But at the same time, it offers a sense of fulfilment and is as well something productive and beneficial to the masses to do. Civilization would be very, very different and unadvanced if we were without them, so I guess it is a necessary thing. Humans gotta work together to keep where we're at. Do you believe in astrology? I've never actually elaborated why I don't believe in it so there ya go: not in the slightest. All it does is offer extremely broad characteristics that, in some light, almost anyone can relate to so they feel included in something. We naturally want to "belong" within something as social creatures, and astrology is an easy one with it being so vast. It gives equally indirect advice that can be applied to a multitude of situations, so people just mold what they read to fit their world. Don't base your goddamn life choices on the random positioning of shit in space. What is something that you’ve made/created? Do you take pride in your creations? Well, way way way too many OCs that I do indeed love a hell of a lot. If you have a Tumblr account, do you have any followers that you wish would not follow you? Well I'm sure there are bots. What kind of books do you generally enjoy to read? Fantasy stuff, mostly. But I also love novels with deep meaning, particularly about life in general. A good plot is mandatory. Does the quality of a video, on YouTube or a television, matter to you? I mean of course in some situations, like if I'm watching something educational/something to gain visual knowledge from. What is one situation that may cause you to become shy (if there is any)? Don't don't don't don't don't point out that my serious interests/things I massively love are "weird" like it's been years and I can still barely explain why my biggest tattoo is a tribute to some fuckface on the Internet lmao. When one is depressed, what can a friend do about it? Do you find that there is a good method to approach people in helping them combat depression? It is SO important to, first, ask them what they want. Do they want advice, an ear to just listen, just your presence, to be alone? As for combating depression, that greatly depends on the origin (if any) of theirs. There are so many factors in answering this question, but what I mentioned should, imo, always be the start. Do you tend to listen to music that embraces your mood or does music dictate your mood? Is it a little bit of both? Definitely both. When I'm sad though, I'm almost definitely listening to somber music too. Do you find yourself to be generally a forgiving person? I'm too goddamn forgiving. Do you have an embarrassing memory that you now look back at and can laugh? If so and if you’re comfortable, could you share one here? Omg I have a Bible-length collection of those suckers. I'd prefer not to. What is one skill that you have worked hard to develop? Is there still room for improvement on that skill? Damn, anxiety-coping mechanisms and actually trusting them to help me through attacks. I used to be convinced that they were useless because it just wouldn't work and weren't immediately effective, but you've gooooooot to trust the process, friends. What do you consider to be your main passion(s) and how did they come about? Spreading awareness of the seriousness of mental health and the comfort of knowing there's hope. You can never stop pushing. My own experience with mental health struggles is definitely the deeeep roots of that. Who do you think influenced you the most in your life so far? Why? Jason changed my life in many ways. Trauma does that. He taught me a lot about the necessity of having faith in yourself to survive on your own, a shitload about love and how it's not some fairy tale, and that people change, even those you least expect to. What is something that you have overheard people talk about that really bothered you? I could name more than a few things about race stuff, living where I do. What do you normally say or how do you normally act in response to a compliment? I usually do this shy laugh and say "thank you" with too much enthusiasm. How many books do you own? Do you have more physical books than electronic books? I've no clue where a lot of my old ones are. I have no electronic ones; I strongly prefer to read a physical book. What are your thoughts on higher education? Is it really necessary? In your opinion, what changes can be made? Depending on your aspiring career, it can be necessary, but just as easily, it can be unnecessary. I know for a fucking fact it should not be NEARLY as expensive as it is. Maybe even free, but I have no idea what monetary concerns that could cause with whoever runs the place. Have you ever received a heartfelt compliment from a stranger? Probably at some point. How many people would you consider to be extremely close to you? "Extremely"... like three lmao. Maybe one more or so. When was the last time you had to speak to a crowd? How well did that go? When I was taking pictures at a wedding last. It went okay. How would you describe your general outlook towards humanity? We by no means deserve to be the apex predator and Earth would be a shitload better without us. How long do you think you could last without any contact with your significant other, best friend, or a person whom you consider would be the closest to you? I'll use my mom here, in which case idk. I don't particularly want to find out. I talk to her at LEAST by text daily. Every day now that she can't work/is always home with me. Have you ever realised that someone was lying, but it was too late to confront them? Nope. Eventually speaking up is how I lost her, but.

[yourcoolfriendwithallthecandy]

Magic and Miracles and BEYOND Chapter 4

Ok, so for those who don’t know I face cast Miracle Laurie as Hazel Stevens, Titus Drautos’ love interest (*cough* love of his life *cough*) and in the upper right hand corner is my face cast for Ada, @the-immortal-marshal ‘s OC, she gave me Ada’s particulars forever ago so now I’ve just finally face cast her. And we have TADA I finally found a face I liked for Charlotte Stevens. Hazel’s sister who is of African American and Chinese decent. And I am OBSESSED with Empresses in the Palace which is a six episode long mini series that USED to be on Netflix, you can find it on Amazon Prime video now. And there is a lot of symbolism from that show that I’ve taken and run wild with because in this fic Gilgamesh (who I have taken so many liberties with) is a Chinese drug lord who thinks of himself as an Emperor and calls Charlotte his Empress. And Cor is obsessed with taking him down (like he is in the canon-verse). 

Ok so you can read it here -> AO3 or below. Tumblr, be cool, keep it under a cut. 

Magic and Miracles and BEYOND

Chapter 4

“Ok, I stand corrected, this is my favorite house.” Selena announced as she came into the mansion in California wine country that was styled in a blend of Italianate, Spanish and Mediterranean. With it’s overall warm tones and clay tile roof. She fell head over heels in love with it.

“Knew it would be,” Ravus beamed.

“I want our house to be exactly like this.” Selena urged Ravus who chuckled.

“Yeah, I figured as much.” Ravus nodded in agreement, having figured that the moment they hit the road.

“Yeah, you can keep the house on the coast Luna, I love that location but I love and adore this house and the vineyards are just...spectacular. It’s so beautiful I think I’m gonna cry.” Selena teased herself as her eyes actually started to water which only got Ravus to pull her into his embrace and kiss the crown of her head.  

“Well Ravus did buy you that place up the coast so you’re only a stroll down the beach away.” Luna teased her.

“Yeah,” Selena sighed wistfully before she gave Ravus a quick peck on the lips before she had him really show her around.

“Holy shit!” Selena exclaimed when she saw the wine cellar.

“Yeah, this wine cellar alone is worth as much as the actual house I think.” Ravus speculated.

“It’s all dry isn’t it?” Selena asked in disappointment.

“Actually, no,” Ravus began as he hunted through the cellar. “Yes! This Darling, is ice wine. And it is exceptionally sweet.” Ravus said as he handed her a little mini bottle.

“Should we chill this first?” Selena asked as she looked it over.

“Yes, yes we should.” Ravus nodded as he used a special wine bottle carrier box to put in a half dozen bottles in, going through the rows picking out different ones before filling the box full and putting it down before getting another before he turned the corner and it was like it kept expanding, Ravus going through the bottles like anyone would go through a library to look at books.

“Does it ever end? I could get lost in here.” Selena teased as Ravus grinned but kept his eyes moving through all the labels.

“You could.” Ravus answered but only half teasing himself before his phone went off.

“Yeah?” Ravus answered.

“Where are you?” Luna asked.

“In the wine cellar?” Ravus answered.

“Where at in the wine cellar?” Luna asked.

“I’m at the Rieslings, just about to head into the Moscatos. I already handed Darling some ice wines.” Ravus answered.

“Ooh, could you get me my favorite please?” Luna requested.

“Sure, what does Jock Strap want?” Ravus asked.

“Oh he’s found the bar, he’s good.” Luna snorted a laugh.

“Well then get me my favorite.” Ravus insisted.

“Already gotten.” Luna reassured him.

“Thanks, when you guys figure out what to get for dinner call me back.” Ravus urged his sister.

“Yup.” Luna nodded.  

“That’s really kind of sad that the house is so big, you have to call each other on your phones to talk to each other.” Selena teased as she leaned up against a brick wall and gave him a giddy smile.

“Oh trust me, once we start our family, you’ll be happy it’s as big as it is, in fact I think you’ll love it down here because it’ll be the one part of the house where the kids won’t be allowed to play and you’ll have some nice ‘quiet mommy time’.” Ravus gently teased her with a look that had Selena wishing she could speed up time just to get to that and she just couldn’t help but pull him away from the wines to pull him flush with her to kiss him deeply.

“Can’t wait.” Selena purred when they broke for air and Ravus put the box down but only to allow him to pin her to the brick wall behind her before he picked her up so that her legs wrapped around his waist and her arms wrapped around his shoulders as he slipped her panties to the side since she was wearing a sundress as he unzipped his shorts and quickly entered her and moaned with her.

“I can, it’ll be worth the wait. I promise.” Ravus beamed at her.

“Aww,” Selena fawned.

Meanwhile Hazel and Titus were about to get ready to go to the store when Hazel checked her phone for the time before the screen went haywire for a moment as Titus’ phone did the same before both her phone and Titus’ phone turned themselves off and wouldn’t turn back on and Hazel inhaled sharply as her eyes went wide with terror because she knew what was going to happen next.

“Titus, you either need to get to the car right now or you need to get into my bathroom and don’t come out unless I come in and get you.” Hazel immediately ordered and Titus blinked in surprise when he saw how terrified she suddenly looked.

“What are you talking about?” Titus asked.

“No time to explain, here.” Hazel decided for him before she seemed to pull a gun out from under her breakfast bar and put it into his hand and shoved him into the bathroom.

“Sit right here, don’t move, don’t make a sound and shoot anyone but me who tries to come in.” Hazel ordered, keeping her voice whisper quiet but the hiss to her voice put him on edge before Hazel quickly locked the bathroom and quickly ran to her door and pulled out another hand gun and watched through the keyhole as Charlotte and two body guards came walking purposefully down the hallway, each body guard taking up an end to the hall to leave Charlotte to approach Hazel’s door alone before she knocked her special knock.

“Please tell me you’ve come to say goodbye.” Hazel told her sister in Mandarin when she opened the door for her sister, her gun visible at her side as Charlotte came strutting into Hazel’s apartment as Hazel shut the door behind her as she warily watched her sister.

“I came with a warning.” Charlotte began and Hazel’s stomach dropped. “You should go out to dinner tonight.” Charlotte suggested.

“Where and with who?” Hazel’s eyes narrowed suspiciously.

“It doesn’t matter where but I think you’ll know with who.” Charlotte grinned as she laid a manila envelope on the counter.

“What part of ‘I never want to be involved’ is hard to understand?” Hazel bit out.

“It’s Heaven’s wish, either serve the warning or you can try to Witchhazel.” Charlotte returned coolly and Hazel’s jaw clenched. “Your choice.” Charlotte shrugged before she stood in front of Hazel with a challenging smirk before hugging her sister before Hazel begrudgingly returned it.

“Why can’t you both go back to Hong Kong? At least you’d be safer there.” Hazel asked as she hugged her sister tighter, always feeling like she was seeing her sister for the last time when her sister came to her like this.

“Soon.” Charlotte answered and Hazel knew that was the closest to a straight answer she could ever get from Charlotte.

“Ok.” Hazel whispered.

“Now tell Titus hi for me and to keep his nose out of our business.” Charlotte offered in English as she let go of her sister and left, snapping her fingers once she was in the hallway before both henchmen were back at her side as she left the building as Hazel blew out a shaky breath as her cheeks burned as she put the gun back into it’s hiding spot and went over to the manila envelope and opened it to find a tiny flash drive and found 50 thousand dollars with it. Hazel just huffed and shook her head. She took the money out and when she did, she found ‘Warhorn Lion’ written on a piece of yellow paper that almost looked and felt like tissue paper but was in fact a recreation of the paper used by Chinese Emperors to write edicts and orders on- on the inside of the envelope in Mandarin calligraphy and Hazel just closed her eyes and fought not to cry.  

“Shit.” Hazel hissed as she got gloves on and took it out and folded it carefully, damning her hands for shaking. At least it wasn’t Titus’ name. She put the paper and the flash drive into a new envelope and into her purse before she put the money into her lock box and once she was done she took her gloves off and threw them away before she knocked on the door to the bathroom off her bedroom where she had put Titus.

“It’s safe now Baby.” Hazel called out softly as she unlocked the door and opened it to find Titus still sitting in the same spot she left him in.

“What the fuck is going on?” Titus demanded as he stood up and stared at her incredulously.

“If I answered that, I’d have to kill you myself.” Hazel answered defeated-ly as she took her gun back to put it away.

“What kind of convoluted clandestine bullshit is that?!” Titus spat angrily as he followed her and took note of where it had come from in the first place, having sat right there before and not having the smallest clue it had been there the whole time.

“The kind of convoluted clandestine bullshit that will get you killed, moreover it’s the kind of convoluted clandestine bullshit that puts car bombs under cars and straps C4 to someone’s chest and tells them to walk into hospitals and schools with the power to bring anyone to their knees before it lops off their heads, that kind. The kind that already knows your name, where you work, your routines, the truck you drive and where you are at all times. The kind that’s kept a tail on me since I went to college, the kind that has already buried the last nosy boyfriend. So do yourself a favor if you want to live and let it go and never, ever breathe a word of this ever again. This is your one warning. The next time you bring this up, that sniper on that roof right over there will shoot you and I’ll have to change the carpet again because blood doesn’t come out from white carpet well.” Hazel snarled as she pointed her finger into his chest, the tip digging into his flesh hard every time she said the word ‘you’ as tears flowed freely from her eyes as her expression was a pleading one as Titus just stared in shock at her as he finally really sensed what kind of predicament and danger she must be in and all he wanted to do was make her feel safe again, he didn’t care if he had to set the world on fire to do it either. He knew Hazel was smart, brilliant even and as badass as the day was long but if his Hazel was this scared, she would only have every justification to be so.

“Ok.” Titus answered softly as finally nodded as he brought her in and hugged her tight and kissed the crown of her head.

“Obviously you don’t have a choice in this. If this is the way it has to be then it’s the way it has to be.” Titus offered as Hazel just broke down crying and bawled into his chest and when she was done, she pulled herself back together and kissed him so deeply it started their own familiar chain of events and once satisfied, they left and went about their day, Titus doing his best to act like nothing was wrong and that nothing had happened out of the usual.

“Hey you wanna meet up with Cor and Ada for dinner?” Hazel asked innocently as they were putting their groceries away.

“Yeah sure.” Titus nodded and texted Cor.

“Where to?” Titus asked Hazel.

“I don’t care, whatever they want is fine.” Hazel waived off. “Actually I could go for some rice noodles though, maybe Chinese? Japanese? Vietnamese? Thai? Something like that.” Hazel waived off.  

“The Mandarin?” Titus suggested, knowing that was her favorite Chinese restaurant, it was a bit upscale but very authentic and the whole menu was in Mandarin and English and he loved the way Hazel could order for them in nothing but Mandarin and get things that weren’t even on the menu.

“Perfect.” Hazel beamed and once at the restaurant, Cor was exceptionally happy and even giddy because he had gotten a break in the Gilgamesh case that day and Hazel was grateful that she wasn’t sitting right next to him but feared for Ada, knowing that Ada was in grave danger but was powerless to say anything to her directly. Hazel excused herself from the table and took her server aside as she went to the bathroom and gave her a hundred dollar bill if she put the envelope into Cor’s bill. Hazel having taken the envelope out with a tissue and put it into a folded napkin to hand to the server who thought it was some kind of practical joke before the owner, who had been watching over them, took the envelope and looked inside before their eyes went wide for a moment and made a quick phone call before they nodded and got a red envelope and wrote something out with a calligraphy pen and comped not just Cor and Ada’s meal but Titus and Hazel’s too.

“Mr. Leonis, could you please come with me?” The owner asked Cor as he came and pointed to the bill as if the card had gotten declined.

“Oh, that shouldn’t of...” Cor said as he got up and got his wallet out as he followed the owner to the cash register.

“Oh no, your card wasn’t declined, no your meal was taken care of already but I didn’t want to disturb your party by handing you this.” The owner said as he handed Leonis a red cash envelope typically given to newly weds at their wedding.

“What does this say?” Cor asked as he pointed to the writing on the envelope.

“It says ‘compliments of Emperor Gilgamesh’.” The owner answered.

“Fuck.” Cor breathed. “Is he here? Like right now?” Cor asked the owner.

“Of course not. Even if he was, you could not do anything Marshal.” The owner pointed out with a smug grin.

“I could have you arrested for aiding and abetting.” Cor threatened.

“Perhaps you should look at the flash drive first before you make any foolish threats.” The owner suggested sagely as Cor narrowed his eyes and got the flash drive and put it into his phone before picture after picture of Ada and Ada and himself came up on the screen before a new message came into his phone with a picture of himself, Ada and Titus in the cross-hairs from a scope while they were still there at the restaurant and Cor looked up and searched the room, trying to find the threats and the vantage points these pictures were taken from.

“It really would be quite rude to answer generosity with disrespect. Perhaps you should go home now.” The owner suggested. “And please do not think that my restaurant is unique in that his Majesty has reign here. There is no where any of you could ever go that he would not come for you.” The owner warned. “And if I may let you in on a secret. His Majesty is being lenient with you and has written your name in black. This is your warning that you have come too close. If you come any closer, he will write your name in white. White is the color of death in our culture. And it will be as if he would have written your death warrant.” The owner added and Cor gulped.

“Understood.” Cor nodded before he went back to the table and tried to casually get them all out of there as the owner came and thanked them for coming and invited them back as he handed Hazel a to go container of her favorite dumplings- raw so she could steam them herself when she got home and once back in Titus’ truck Hazel found a thick black card with what Gilgamesh liked to referred to her as written in gold ink along with a quick message of thanks.

“What does that say?” Titus asked as he noticed it.

“It says ‘thank you’ and my name.” Hazel answered honestly.

“I’ve never gotten a thank you for getting takeout from here.” Titus frowned.

“Well you’re not on first name basis and friends with the family.” Hazel tried to reason with a lop sided grin as Titus nodded in understanding.

“So that’s why our meal was free?” Titus asked.

“Yup.” Hazel nodded.

“So...I’m thinking we should take up a new hobby together.” Titus began.

“Which is?” Hazel asked curiously.

“Shooting. I’m already into hunting, I need to be a better shooter though.” Titus realized as he squeezed her hand a little tighter and gave her a gentle yet reassuring look and watched as Hazel’s grin grew into a full blown smile.

“That would be...amazing.” Hazel praised as she squeezed his hand back tightly and just fell in love with him a little more. Because usually right about now any guy would be running for the hills but instead, Titus was making plans to stay and try to help her.

“Wanna stay at my house tonight?” Titus asked.

“Hell yeah.” Hazel nodded as Titus then turned to head to his house since Hazel already had enough of her things to stay there for a few months straight already.

Once back at his house, Titus put her dumplings in the fridge before he turned to face her, wanting to tell her a thousand different things all at once as he had thought about her predicament all day.

“So, if I wanted my house as secure and defend-able as possible, how would I go about that?” Titus asked her before she grabbed the shopping list pad off of his fridge and a pen and handed them to him.

“Take notes.” Hazel grinned as Titus returned her grin and took them before Hazel began to go through the whole house and tell him exactly how to accomplish that and insisted that she pay for it all because it would be getting quite costly but it was investment in Titus’ well being and would help her sleep easier at night.

[bluepenguinstories]

Happiness Overload Chapter Forty-Four

We held a funeral in the gardens of our island. Hail Mary's in the form of dead flies thrown over a patch of dirt. Oh, Jeremiah. He would have loved those flies. They were his favorite.

“Care to share any parting words, dear sister?” I turned to the froggy girl beside me, also in mourning.

“Polo!”

Polo stepped up to the patch of dirt. We never bothered with a casket; not because we couldn't have afforded one, but because it would have made much more sense to us to let Jeremiah decompose on his own. It's what he would have wanted. Probably. Not like we could have asked him after he was already dead.

“Polo,” she croaked in that way a griever would croak. After that, she hopped away. That was her whole speech. Her great eulogy. With my head down, I wiped away a single tear that may not have even been there. My eye might have just been itchy due to allergies.

“Thank you, dear sister. Tell me, who has a greater brother-sister bond than the two of us?”

She opened her mouth and flapped her tongue about. Wasn't sure what that was all about, but that was the beauty of it all: I didn't have to know anything.

At last, it was my turn. You could say that my steps forward were less of a walk and more of a chaotic crawl. Now, who would make such an analogy was beyond me, but the point was, you could have made such an analogy. Wouldn't blame you if you did.

I cleared my throat, and began my speech:

“Dear brother Jeremiah, I never understood a single word you said, but you sure helped me drink my wine.”

I did that whole Catholic hand motion across the shoulders and chest thing. You know the one. Not that I did. But I didn't need to, I just needed to act like I did. Actually, I knew, because of course I did, I had knowledge of just about anything at any given point in time (but never all at once and sometimes I knew things while other times I wouldn't know the things I previous knew. Such was my fate), but I had to act like someone who didn't know who was acting like someone who did.

If you're confused, don't be. Life and death in its natural states are chaotic, confusing messes. So if you wanted to break the curse, you just had to say that you weren't confused. That made enough sense, didn't it?

Next to me stood our headquarters, a simple building in the middle of an island. To think, I built this whole organization, known as Lilypad, through such virtues as lying, cheating, and stealing. Was it always easy? Actually, yes. Humans are easily exploited.

From such a statement, you might have considered me some kind of monster. But that couldn't have been further from the truth. I loved (and love, tenses are confusing as well as they were and always have been confusing. Thinking about tenses have always made me, well, tense) all my siblings, just as I've loved everyone and everything I've ever met, in some way or another.

When news broke of Jeremiah's death, I had a whole crew ready to clean up the evidence and transport his body in a safe and delicate matter. But also in a matter that signified urgency. Because it was an urgent matter. We have always cared for our own. With a sigh, I made preparations toward other important matters. One of my associates and “siblings” in this non-related family approached me. For the sake of argument, we'll say this one was named “Gumby”.

“What do we do now, Marco?”

“We move forward,” was my sullen response to the great and gay axolotl. “Just as we always do.”

My shadowed finger clicked on the phone's screen. What would happen next, I was already aware of, but it had to be done for it was the responsible thing to do.

As usual, been bummin' and schemin', being the baddest of asses, yadda yadda.

Well, wouldn't you have it, I was in the privacy of a crowded street when I got my long-awaited phone call.

“Finally! What took you so long? Never mind that, what I'm more interested in is whether I have to call you Celia V. or if I can just call you Celia? Like, is the 'V' really that important? Maybe we don't have that kind of relationship where I can just call you 'Celia'.”

“Kelly Roger, I regret to inform you that I am not that woman,” came an old, familiar croon. Almost had a bit of a laugh to his tone, but then, it could have been an attempt to sound solemn. Ugh. Hated that guy. But...he called at a convenient time.

“Marco!” Hey, I got his name right! “Holy shit! Okay, so you probably won't believe this, but I've been in a dilemma for the past hour or so on how I was going to contact you and out of the blue, you call!”

“I know what you want, but I ask: must you torment a man in pain?”

I paced about and picked my nose. “What, is this about how the guy you sent to kill me fell off a building and died? Yeah, I think I've earned this one.”

“Jeremiah was a dear friend of mine. He is irreplaceable.”

“Wait. Dude. His name was Jeremiah? And he was a bullfrog? And he was a good friend of yours? Holy shit. This is just one stupid reference, isn't it? What kind of fucked up world do we live in where you genetically engineer someone just for the sake of some stupid reference?”

I swear, I was gonna bust a nut laughing. This was too much.

“Please don't laugh, I'm still in mourning.”

“What's your deal, anyway? Why're you so obsessed with me?”

“Take a seat. There should be a bench somewhere.”

“Why, is this gonna be a long story?”

No answer. I checked my phone. He was still on the line. I groaned and looked around. Just a couple blocks over, I found a bench and sat my stupid ass down.

“You could have joined us, but now...it is too late for that.”

“Yeah, kinda figured that when you sent someone to kill me.”

“Shh. I'm telling a story. See, you could have joined us and it probably would have gone like it did in another timeline. Or universe, if you prefer. See, another me manipulated another you to take the ride in the elevators several times until you were so braindead that you put your trust in me. Then, I crushed it. Why? So I could start a catastrophe. Why would I do that? Because my alternate self is an idiot who doesn't appreciate what he has. Oh, I know the reason. His mind isn't quite clear, he's bored. He's frustrated. He wants answers. Just as any man would, really. Or any man who isn't human and who's lived as long as I have. But that's neither here nor there.”

“Okay, soo...you're high on something, aren't you?”

“Always. That is also neither here nor there. Please, don't interrupt me. I deserve to have a whole thousand word speech.”

“Not really. But go on.”

“What about me? What makes this me and that me so different? I'll tell you what, Ol' K. Rog. It all comes down to integrity and commitment. At least one of those I don't actually have, but I'm not sure which one. Which is not to say that I, speaking to you now, am not or will not get bored of the empire that I have raised. But who would I be if I just abandoned it for some other goal? No, this isn't about me. This is about frogs everywhere who --”

“God damn it, will you get on with it? Nobody cares.”

“You are quite rude, you know that? And while I do find it charming, even funny, and just a tad amusing, it's still worth pointing out.”

“Can you keep it to, like, five words, minimum? Wrap it up here!”

“Okay...” He sighed. Not out of defeat, but if I had to wager, just for dramatic effect. “So the me here and the me there are aware of each other and neither of us agree, and we both accomplish what we set out to do and we both meet our downfall, just in different ways. For me...the address to where my base is...”

He gave it to me. Easy as that.

Then, he hung up.

I threw my fists into the air and yelled “woo-hoo!” (But I don't mean like The Sims kind of 'woo-hoo') Everything was going my way. Take that, Conrad!

My boss could be a real sadist.

Well, any boss could. Just by virtue of being someone's boss. But my boss had a real fetish for it, I could just tell.

While there were countless examples, the current one was that she was not present when I needed to speak with her.

“Etna!” I called out.

Silence.

Actually, maybe this wasn't such a bad situation. I mean, no boss, no work, right? I was finally free!

I got up out of my seat, and as soon as I did so, she appeared.

“Where are you going?”

“Uh, to the bathroom? What are you going to do, monitor my bathroom time?”

“Please, I'm much more civil than that. Do I not let you come and go as you please?”

“Uh...shit. Yeah. You're right.”

“All I ask is you update me if any progress has been made.”

Right! That reminded me!

“Hey, so earlier, Kelly Roger wanted to know where we're located. Said if I told, they'd give the address to Lilypad's base. But I figured since we're, like, a big secret and all...”

“Go ahead.”

“What? Just like that?”

“I know what Kelly Roger is trying to do. I find it amusing. So I'd like to play along.”

“Uh-huh...”

“Celia V.”

Yikes. Referred to me by name. This can't be good.

“Do you know the best way to break someone?”

“No? Unlike you, I have actual hobbies.”

“Not through bodily harm, but by crushing their spirit.”

Yeah. Real charming.

Didn't have time to stretch my legs or nothin' before the next call came in. Probably Marco again about to drop a whole essay bomb on me.

“What is it this time? It can't really be that important, can it?”

“Uh...yeah? Yeah it can. Didn't I even say I'd call you?”

Oh. It was Celia V.

“Sorry, my head's a mess.”

“Really? I thought there was nothing in it.”

“Oh, har-har. Do you want Lilypad's address or not?”

“That depends, do you want to know my address?”

My heart skipped a beat.

“W-Why would I want to know that? It's not like I'm coming over.”

“Etna's not home.”

“What?”

“I'm talking about my boss's HQ. Where's your mind at?”

“Nowhere! Jeez! Anyway, you gonna tell me or what?”

“Hm...how can I trust that you won't hang up as soon as I tell you? Maybe you should tell me Lilypad's address first.”

“No way! If I did that, you'd just hang up and I'd never find out the location of your boss's lair.”

“So what are we to do? It's not like we could just blurt it out at the same time, because then neither of us would catch a word the other was saying.”

“...Actually I was thinking that would've been a great idea...” Well, there goes that plan.

“WHAT?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! DO I HAVE TO CARRY ENOUGH BRAIN CELLS FOR THE BOTH OF US?!”

“Hey! This isn't easy!”

She huffed. “Not like I said it was. How about we just meet in person and you can take me to Lilypad's base and I can tell you the address to the ETNA Corporation's base on the way. Deal?”

“You mean, like, IRL?”

“We've already met once. Don't make this more awkward than it has to be.”

Oh right. She was that one naruto cosplayer at the parking garage. Totally forgot that even happened until she mentioned it. Funny, too, seeing as my hand still hurt like hell.

At last, I gave her my apprehensive response:

“Let me consult my waifus on this, first.”

“Seriously? Look, I don't have time for this.”

She hung up. How rude. She didn't even wait to hear what my waifus had to say.

I took to my seat, a throne. Before, I didn't have a throne. I had an office where I slept, and that was royal enough for me. But for the special occasion soon to occur, I figured I would pull out a chair from under one of the computer desks and microphone in hand, addressed my non-biological family of frog people.

“Brothers, sisters. It was nice knowing you all. But soon, we will be raided. This is not me giving up on our goal, as the bomb is still set to go off. In a few years, we may see new frogs rise from the ashes. Consider this a necessary sacrifice.”

There were croaks and bellows, burps and groans. Quite the uproar.

“I understand your frustration, I do. None of us want to die. Except me. I've always been curious to know if I could, y'know? I've lived for thousands upon thousands of years, so if I manage to get killed, this will be a new experience for me.”

“Polo! Polo!” There it was, the cries of my sister. Oh, anyone, anyone but her.

“Go, go and find yourself a girlfriend. For the sake of your dear brother.”

Polo hopped offstage. There was no stage, so really, she hopped her way to the back of the building where the emergency exit was. I knew she would take a gondola and travel far, collecting many flies along the way.

“Ah,” I closed my eyes and smiled. “This is fine.”

I could already hear the boots raining outside, soon to crash through the door and the whole building to erupt in a blaze of gunfire and bloodshed.

If, they proved unsuccessful, if my froggy friends killed them, or if they failed to kill me, well...that was fine too. Either way, there would be entertainment.

See, my other self had it all wrong. Why trigger the end of the world when just the fact that the angel had been introduced to the world signified that the end would come in its own time? For that matter, why wait for such a thing to happen when we could see the end at any time? All we had to do was close our eyes...

If she thought I was going to sit and wait for her to show up, she had another thing coming. There were several hard drives worth of hentai in my backpack and it all wasn't going to watch itself.

So, I got up and stretched my legs. Then stretched my arms. It was as if I was gearing up for a big race, something that would never happen given 1) asthma, and 2) fuck exercise.

Just as I started walking toward wherever it was I was walking toward, I caught a glimpse of brown hair, ponytail, and not a 2D character. In other words...c'est la dork herself.

Sadly, she was not wearing that orange jumpsuit this time. Just as I was beginning to associate it with her, instead she wore a black T-shirt with text that read 'I woke up like this' and pajama pants with little bunny rabbits on them. There was also heavy eye-baggage going on, which led me to the theory that she really did wake up like that.

“I'm surprised you're not wearing slippers,” I greeted.

“Shut up. This is professional attire.”

“Professional 'what'? Professional sleepyhead?”

She kicked my shin and I yelled out.

“Fuck! Fuck!”

“Just take me there already,” she growled.

“Fine, sheesh. What about the address to your secret base?”

She passed me a rolled up sheet of paper. As I unrolled it I was expecting it to say 'fuck you, just take me to Lilypad's base or I'll kill you', but instead, it actually had an address. Still, it could have been a fake, or a false lead.

“How do I know this is legit?” I pressed.

“Dude, I hate my boss. She's so domineering. And I'm not even into BDSM.”

“So that means?”

“Whatever you were planning to do with that information, go ahead.”

“Well, I was gonna tell Marco, and I was gonna have his gang and your boss's gang duke it out in the hopes that the two would destroy each other. But now that you're next to me, that would probably be a bad idea.”

“Go ahead,” she shrugged. We were still walking, headed toward the docks. “Call him right now.”

“I don't actually know his number...”

“Ah, too bad. You were almost smart for a second there.”

“Wouldn't you be out of a job if ETNA Corp got destroyed or something?”

“Eh, I got a cousin in Chicago. I could probably crash at her place. That, and I might be able to collect unemployment.”

There was something suspicious about how chummy we were getting. How she just seemed so okay with the prospect of her whole organization going down. Either she was planning something devious, or...yeah, that was the only option.

“So what do you plan to do once we get there?” I threw the question.

“Tell my boss, what else would I do?”

“I thought you hated her!”

“Yeah, well, it's still my job. For now, anyway.”

We continued walking down the street, it would be about a mile or two to the docks and to be honest, I did not feel like I was in any sort of rush. Maybe I could even stall to figure out how to perfect my plan...

“Hey, look! There's an ice cream shop!”

She groaned. “Focus. This isn't a date.”

“I-I know that! I was just testing you to see if you knew that!”

“OH MY GOD. Have you even been around another girl before?”

“Yeah, Velvet.”

She pondered that. “Oh yeah I forgot about that. What was that like? I bet she drove you off the walls because of how annoying she can be!”

“How would you know?”

“Because it's been my job to watch you guys!” Then she held her belly and gave a hearty laugh. “And this whole time, none of you knew! I really am the best!”

I shrugged. “Such is life.”

“So anyway, what was she like?”

“Eh...untrustworthy? Sometimes worrying...she'd pull her hair out from stress. Really freaked me out. Oh, and she would sometimes avoid certain people when she wasn't feeling up to it.”

“Yikes! Sounds like a nervous wreck!”

“Yeah, but I mean, I guess she was good at what she did? She was capable at doing whatever Conrad threw at her, the problem was that he'd give her these tasks most would find impossible and give her impossibly short deadlines.”

“Jeez, and I thought my boss was rough. I can't imagine a boss who would do something like that.”

We arrived at the docks and at first I thought it best to just write down the address for her.

“Do you have a piece of paper and something to write with?”

“Tch. Why bother? You could just take me there, right?”

“What? You just like hanging around me that much or somethin'?”

“NO! But you could write down a fake address. I want to know I've got the real deal.”

I sighed. Things were not going according to plan after all. She was just way too clever. I must have underestimated her because of how idiotic she appeared at first glance, but after spending a little more time with her...it was clear I couldn't get anything past her!

But! Not to worry! Nothing had changed! I could still pull this off!

...until I looked around and realized one tiny problem.

“Yeah, there's no way we're gonna get there,” I blurted out.

“WHAT?! WHAT. THE. FRIAR TUCK. DID YOU SAY?”

“There's no boat or nothin'. Unless you wanna swim all the way out there.”

“Wait a sec. I thought the hideout was somewhere on these docks.”

“...I mean, I'm not even sure, myself...I've never been there...” I muttered.

“I HEARD THAT!”

Without hesitation, she grabbed onto the collar of my shirt and held me over the dockside.

“I ought to have you sleeping with the fishes! You lead me all this way and you don't even know where this place is!”

Shit. Not only am I afraid of heights, but I can't swim either. The great goddess Aqua would have a riot if she knew the predicament I was in. Think, think...

“Hey! Look over there! There's a boat!”

She turned her head.

“Nice boat,” she remarked.

She set me back down and all I could think about was how strong she must have been to have picked me up. I didn't think she had it in her.

As it turned out, she had a terrible sense of judgment: it wasn't a nice boat, not at all. It was some dingy old raft thing, and you had to use paddles, too!

I shook my head.

“No way am I getting in that thing!”

“You don't got a choice, bud.”

“If I get in there, my clothes will get dirty!”

“Your clothes are already dirty.”

I wanted to protest further, but it was like I was being held at gunpoint. Which, I wouldn't be surprised if I was, given our previous encounters, so if she did have a gun hidden somewhere, I may as well go along and do as she says.

We paddled toward the island where Lilypad's base was said to be located at, me giving directions along the way.

“Turn here!”

She started paddling.

“No wait, I think it's the other way!”

“ARGH! WHAT ARE YOU? A BACKSEAT DRIVER?”

“I'm paddling too. Here, if you want, we can switch seats and you can be in the back.”

“NO!”

It went on like that for several (minutes? Days? Weeks? Years?) seconds (yeah, let's go with that. Who gives a fuck, anyway? Time is an illusion or some shit like that) until at last, we reached the island. I could no longer see the docks, and the city itself looked like a blur (maybe that was a sign I needed new glasses?) from where I was sitting. So, if I had to guess, it was at least a few feet out from the docks.

The island itself was quite small, but big enough to host a building, which indeed stood in the middle of the pathetic excuse for an island. The building itself, just looked like a single-floor office building. Not even all that interesting. Just white all around. Guess they were going for that minimalistic look, but if you ask me, if you're going to be a villainous organization, you may as well make your lair look cool.

“Ah! We're here at last!” stretched my enemy, not companion, Celia V.

“Yeah, yeah, now hold up your end of the deal,” I climbed out of the dingy boat and didn't even bother giving the building a passing glance. Celia V. got out a sheet of paper and tore it, then wrote the address down and handed it to me.

“Stuff it in your pocket, don't lose it, don't let anyone else see it, got it?”

“Yeah, yeah. I know how this works.”

“There, if nothing else, I'm a lady of my word.”

She pulled out a phone from her pocket and it just occurred to me what she might have been about to do.

“Hey! What are you doing?!”

She shushed me, then held the phone up to her ear. “I'm calling my boss, what does it look like?”

“I thought you hated her!”

“Sure, but I still have a job for now, and what boss isn't horrible?”

Hm...good point. Though I remember the Ganon fight in Ocarina of Time being pretty dope.

“Come on, come on...”

She growled, then hung up.

“That's weird, I'm not getting a response. Usually she picks up right away.”

While yes, I wished I could have brought her over to the side of good, when all is said and done, the only good person was me, anyway. Everyone else was a loser, so it only stood to reason that she would always side with one of the villains. I was about to tell her such until I noticed smoke coming out of the building.

“Never mind that! I see smoke!” I started running off. My heart was racing. Whatever was going on, it was NOT part of the plan.

“Huh. That's not a thing buildings usually do?” I could hear her say off in the distance. Yeah, wasn't even worth mentioning that she said that, just typical idiot stuff from her. If this was a book, or a script from a movie (let's be honest, I would make for an AMAZING movie character) I'd probably want to have had that line deleted, but that's not really my place, now is it?

Once I burst through the doors of the lame-ass building, I was shocked: wrecked computers and tables, darkened walls and something having caught fire off in the corner, and if that wasn't bad enough, dead frog people.

“What...what's going on?”

Okay, so you would think this was all part of the plan, right? I wanted Lilypad defeated. But this is too early. I wanted to have some of Lilypad's goons wreck the ETNA lair, too! That way the two could have canceled each other out.

I was trying to wrap my head around what had gone on, but I had to stop mid-thought as soon as I saw a tall lady in a lab coat standing in the middle of the room.

“Hey, lady! You got shit for brains or something?! This place ain't safe!”

At first, it was as if she didn't hear me, but just a few seconds later, she turned around, a wicked smile on her face.

“Ah, you must be Kelly Roger. I was hoping you would come.” There was something...off about the way she spoke. As if she was GLADoS or something.

“Uh, yeah? Duh. Guess my reputation has spread across the land.”

Now was not the time to celebrate, however. In fact, I was just left more confused what such a lady (or robot? Could have been a terminator) was doing here.

“H-How do you know my name?”

“I've been watching you. You and your friends.”

“Uh-huh...that's creepy as fuck.”

“Your friends meant little to me, as their impact was next to zero, but I just had to make sure they knew how futile their efforts were. So, I snuffed them out.”

Yeah. That was not good news. My heart started feeling heavier, the heartbeats restless. If I could have thought of a joke to fit the situation, I would have. But all I could do was stand there as she continued to speak.

“You...what?”

“Yes, the place you used to hide under the university? I was the one responsible for its wreckage. I sent mercenaries and watched as they scurried in a panic. Their screams when the bullets rained down on them them were most delightful.”

“Stop that!”

She lifted her glasses up, her expression changing into one of concern.

“You don't like hearing about your friends' deaths? How interesting. I would have thought that it would have provided you some closure.”

She paced about the room in a way that almost looked like she was floating, like a wraith.

“Which brings us to today. Before I heard of your plans, I didn't think I could reach the same levels of pleasure so soon. Once again, this group meant nothing to me, as they would have failed in their endeavors sooner or later, but you could say I couldn't help myself.”

Behind me were the clacking of footsteps, then I heard the doors bust open again.

“Boss? What are you doing here?”

Boss? So that means...fuck.

“Although limited in what I can do outside my domain, I can appear anywhere where there is a computer terminal able to support me.”

I turned to Celia V.

“What?! This robot thing is your boss?”

“First of all, she's an AI, and yeah. Nobody's perfect, OK?”

So, the big boss rears her ugly head. Actually, she didn't look all that bad, and considering she was an AI, that meant she was 2D which automatically placed her on a higher tier than Celia V. over there.

“Yes. My associate here told me all about your plans. After that, it wasn't all that hard to figure out where this place was located on my own,” robo-boss lady explained.

“What? How could you?” I turned to Celia V. once more.

“Dude, you already knew I wasn't on your side.”

“Oh. Yeah. Right. That makes things a bit easier to swallow, I suppose.”

“So you did what you did best and did the whole 'send soldiers and explodey' thing here?!” I turned back to The Big Boss.

“Yes, although I can do many things well. I am a supersmart AI, after all.”

“Fuck you, Kizuna! There can only be one!”

“Well, actually, there are hundreds of virtual youtubers,” Celia V. corrected me.

“Look! I don't need your mansplaining, okay? I know when I'm right!”

“I'M A FUCKING GIRL, YOU DICK!”

Not-Kizuna-AI laughed and glared at me. “So once again, you failed. You let your friends die while you ran off, and now, you failed in doing what you believed to be 'setting things right'. Not to worry, however, as I am most kind and once you realize what I am doing is for the betterment of humanity, you may come to thank me.”

“Nah, fuck humanity! I just wanna feel like I matter!”

She laughed once more.

“You never have, and you never will. Your insignificance is laughable at best.”

I shook my head. I felt like I was about to burst into tears. Fuck. Did this stupid robot have that much of a hold over me? As if she could read my mind, she approached me and her fake-hand hovered over my head.

“Now, go home. Go to your family. You are not needed here.”

For just a moment, I felt a burst of white light, and I closed my eyes. When the flash was gone, I opened my eyes, and I was still standing. Alive.

So, I did what I did best: I noped the fuck outta there. That, my dudes, is when the tears really began to fall.

Damn.

Look, I knew my boss could be harsh, but was any of that really necessary?

I seriously need a new career.

“Did you have to do that or did you just wanna ham it up?”

Miss virtual CEO turned to me, and made a faux look of surprise.

“Was I not merciful?”

“What? Because you could've killed them, too?”

Honestly, her doing something like that was why all bosses needed the guillotine.

“Go after Kelly Roger. They may yet have something to hide.”

Ugh. Really. I couldn't just be done with this whole mess? Didn't I deserve a vacation or something?

“Then,” she continued. “When you find out, I want you to kill them.”

“WHAT?!” I balked. “No way! You already told Kelly Roger how insignificant that sap is, can't you just let things be?”

“You will do this.”

“Listen here: I gotta draw the line somewhere and I've drawn my line! I quit!”

“You may quit after you have done what I requested. Refuse and I will have you killed.”

“FINE!”

I stormed out, stamping my foot along the way.

I'll follow them, but I'm not gonna kill them. Kelly Roger's too pathetic to kill.

When I got outside, the boat (raft?) was already gone. Kelly Roger had already taken off and I had no idea how I would make it out of the island.

Okay, let's set one thing straight: I don't do what anyone tells me, not even anything I tell me. There was no way I was just going to 'go home', whatever that meant. No way was the battle over just because of some minor detail. Plus, this was a net positive, if anything. Like, Lilypad was gone. Which means no more harassment from that Marco guy. Now I just had to deal with ETNA Corp.

She said something about manifesting wherever a computer could support her, but if all the computers were destroyed, how did that even work? Ugh, my brain hurts, I just need to get back to the docks.

I arrived back at the docks and made a break for the warehouse. Conrad's letter did say something about some kinda experiment, and there was that thing covered up that I didn't bother checking out. What did I have to lose checking it out now? Even though I was willing to bet it was just something stupid like a ray gun or something.

So in order to skip the whole “I went through here, then I did this, then I did this” thing, let's skip right to the part where I was at that underground airport hanger, where nearby, the secret entrance lay.

I was about to move the crate (again) when I felt something hit my back. I thought it was nothing, maybe just my imagination, until I felt something wrap its way around my stomach and lift me into the air. I looked down and saw what was coiling me: tentacles. They turned me around, and I was met face-to-face with the frog don himself. The tentacles seemed to have shot out from his back, of all places.

“I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going,” I groaned.

“Oh, K. Rog, funny how you can still make jokes in a situation like this.”

“How are you alive?”

He wagged a finger. “Sad to say, I've yet to die. I escaped, but...my sister wasn't so lucky.”

“Oh. Jeez. I'm sorry,” I sympathized except when I remembered how much of a dick he was. “Wait a sec, no I'm not!”

“Yes, you see...she survived as well. But now we are separated. Do you know how hard it is being a Marco without a Polo?”

“You're not even wearing polo!” It was true, he was wearing some kind of Hawaiian T-shirt.

The tentacles constricted further. “Y'know, I always thought this would be hot, but the real thing isn't as sexy.”

“Let's see if you can still make jokes after I've killed you.”

I gulped. “It wasn't a joke, it really doesn't feel good.”

They squeezed even tighter and I was sure sooner or later, I would just break in half. That, or my bones would be crushed and I'd suffocate, but however you look at it, I'd be dead.

“This isn't personal, it's just...personal.”

Okay, I had to give him credit where due, that wasn't such a bad one-liner.

Before I could call curtains on myself, I heard the fire of gunshots and I tilted my head to see Celia V. up on some rafters, holding a machine gun in her hands.

“I do NOT want to know what was going on here,” she stuck her tongue out and made gagging sounds.

“This isn't as lewd as I would have liked!” I called to her. I was still gasping for air, but at least I could still speak.

“I do like friends! They are such fun people, and make for a great meal!” Marco grinned and clapped, then let me go, turning his focus to Celia V.

“Ugh! This is SO exhausting!” She yelled, then jumped down from the rafters. It was a surprise she didn't break her leg or something. “I should be at home binge watching Boruto!”

...Yeah. I knew she had terrible taste.

“Hello, friend! I would like to eat you, but you have no nutritional value, so I think I will wait until I have a salt shaker on hand!”

I couldn't tell if that meant Marco was going to run away, or if it was just Marco going off on another tangent. Either way, I looked around and decided to use the commotion to make my way down.

I pushed aside the crate and opened the hatch. I could hear Celia V's voice behind me:

“Hey! Get back here!”

Nope. Wasn't gonna happen.

I raced down the stairs and tripped halfway down, gracelessly falling to the bottom.

“Owie,” I whined. I shook my head and got up. “Hey bitch-ass door! Open the fuck up!”

“PASSWORD ACCEPTED.”

Seems I could say whatever I wanted and that door would open for me. Must have voice recognition or something. I wanted to go in, then go out and try a different phrase, but I knew time was of the essence, so I just got my badass self in the room and pulled the sheet off of whatever was being hidden.

“No way...”

My eyes widened, I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

“Conrad, you've outdone yourself.”

In a glass case was what looked like a suit of armor, but I knew better. It was a mech suit! It had to be! No, not only that, it had a bug-like helmet which reminded me all too well of Kamen Rider.

Taped to the glass case was a note. It read:

“I have built a suit that I combined with genetically altered bliss DNA to power the suit. If my theory is correct, you should be able to fly around upon wearing it, and will be granted the ability to jump between universes. Please note that there may be some side-effects, like the loss of sanity, but I'm sure it's nothing to worry about.”

“Hell yeah!” I broke open the case and got fitted into the suit. As I did so, I heard a banging from outside the room. Celia V. was pounding at the door.

“Open up! She yelled.

If I had to guess, she was probably there to finish the job and kill me. That, or she was ready to confess her love to me.

I managed to get the suit on and I tried figuring out where the button to warp out of there was. While doing so, I heard her shoot open the door. She looked pretty beat up, but mostly fine.

“What the fuck...” she whispered.

“Goodbye, my love,” I gave her one final reply as I found the button.

“I'M NOT ATTRACTED TO YOU!”

Before she could do, or say, anymore, I pressed the button and I was out of there.

Somewhere, there had to be a universe where I wasn't such a loser and I managed to save the day and defeat both Lilypad and The Flashbulb and was praised as the hero people ought to see me as. I knew I would find that universe sooner or later.