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thevividgreenmoss · 6 years ago

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Let’s remember what the left critique of Obama’s administration is. Leftists argue, roughly, that while Obama came in with lofty promises of “hope” and “change,” the change was largely symbolic rather than substantive, and he failed to stand up for progressive values or fight for serious shifts in U.S. policy. He deported staggering numbers of immigrants, let Wall Street criminals off the hook, failed to take on (and now proudly boasts of his support for) the fossil fuel industry, sold over $100 billion in arms to the brutal Saudi government, killed American citizens with drones (and then made sickening jokes about it), killed lots more non-American citizens with drones (including Yemenis going to a wedding) and then misled the public about it, promised “the most transparent administration ever” and then was “worse than Nixon” in his paranoia about leakers, pushed a market-friendly healthcare plan based on conservative premises instead of aiming for single-payer, and showered Israel with both public support and military aid even as it systematically violated the human rights of Palestinians (Here, for example, is Haaretz: “Unlike [George W.] Bush, who gave Israel’s Iron Dome system a frosty response, Obama has led the way in funding and supporting the research, development and production of the Iron Dome”). Obama’s defenders responded to every single criticism by insisting that Obama had his hands tied by a Republican congress, but many of the things Obama did were freely chosen. In education policy, he hired charterization advocate Arne Duncan and pushed a horrible “dog-eat-dog” funding system called “Race To The Top.” Nobody forced him to hire Friedmanite economists like Larry Summers, or actual Republicans like Robert Gates, or to select middle-of-the-road judicial appointees like Elena Kagan and Merrick Garland. Who on Earth picks Rahm Emanuel, out of every person in the world, to be their chief of staff?

Centrism and compromise were central to Obama’s personal philosophy from the start. The speech that put him on the map in 2004 was famous for its declaration that there was no such thing as “blue” and “red” America, just the United States of America. A 2007 New Yorker profile said that “in his skepticism that the world can be changed any way but very, very slowly, Obama is deeply conservative.” Obama spoke of being “postpartisan,” praised Ronald Reagan, gave culturally conservative lectures about how Black people supposedly needed to stop wearing gold chains and feeding their children fried chicken for breakfast. From his first days in office, there simply didn’t seem to be much of a “fighting” spirit in Obama. Whenever he said something daring and controversial (and correct), he would fail to stand by it. For example, when he publicly noted that the Cambridge police force acted “stupidly” in arresting Henry Louis Gates Jr. for trying to break into his own home, he followed up by inviting the police officer and Gates to sit down and talk things out over a beer. A disgusted Van Jones has characterized this as the “low point” of the Obama presidency, but the desire to be “all things to all people” had always been central to the Obama image. Matt Taibbi described him during his first campaign as:

…an ingeniously crafted human cipher… a sort of ideological Universalist… who spends a great deal of rhetorical energy showing that he recognizes the validity of all points of view, and conversely emphasizes that when he does take hard positions on issues, he often does so reluctantly… You can’t run against him on issues because you can’t even find him on the ideological spectrum.

Adolph Reed, Jr., who as early as 1996 had described the politics of “form over substance” being practiced by a certain “smooth Harvard lawyer with impeccable do-good credentials and vacuous-to-repressive neoliberal politics,” warned in 2008 that “Obama’s empty claims to being a candidate of progressive change and to embodying a ‘movement’ that exists only as a brand will dissolve into disillusionment,” and his presidency would “continue the politics he’s practiced his entire career.” Reed saw the devotion Obama inspired as a kind of “faddish, utterly uninformed exuberance” and said that Obama’s “miraculous ability to inspire and engage the young replaced specific content in his patter of Hope and Change.” (When Obama did get specific, Reed said, he often “relies on nasty, victim-blaming stereotypes about black poor people to convey tough-minded honesty about race and poverty,” talking frequently about “alleged behavioral pathologies in poor black communities.”)

Obama supporters think all of this is deeply cynical and unfair. But those who want to argue that Obama was the proponent of a genuinely transformational progressive politics, his ambitions tragically stifled by the ideological hostility of reactionaries, have to contend with a few damning pieces of evidence: the books of Pfeiffer, Rhodes, and Litt.

Granted, these men are all devoted admirers of Obama who set out to defend his legacy. But in telling stories intended to make Obama and his staff look good, they end up affirming that the left’s cynicism was fully warranted. Litt, for instance, seems to have been a man with almost no actual political beliefs. Recently graduated from Yale when he joined the campaign, he was never much of an “activist.” Litt was drawn to Obama not because he felt that Obama would actually bring particular changes that he wanted to see happen, but because he developed an emotional obsession with Barack Obama as an individual person. Pfeiffer feels similarly—he fell in “platonic political love.” Litt’s book begins:

On January 3, 2008, I pledged my heart and soul to Barack Obama… My transformation was immediate and all-consuming. One moment I was a typical college senior, barely interested in politics. The next moment I would have done anything, literally anything, for a freshman senator from Illinois.

He describes the beginning of his brainless infatuation: “[Obama] spoke like presidents in movies. He looked younger than my dad. I didn’t have time for a second thought, or even a first one. I simply believed.”

Litt’s memoir is remarkable for its lack of interest in actual policy. He mentions climate change in one or two sentences (p. 111), but seems to have spent most of his White House years preparing jokes for various black tie events like the Alfalfa Club Dinner and the Al Smith Dinner. (Litt’s rule for writing speeches for dinners of rich donors: “Jokes about money are acceptable… Jokes about power are not.”) Litt helped the president record videos for BuzzFeed (to get in touch with millennials), and Between Two Ferns (to plug the floundering healthcare.gov website), and to tape a birthday message for Betty White. But he was particularly in his element in preparing Obama’s annual comedy monologue for the White House Correspondents’ Dinner (WHCD). The WHCD, now thankfully gutted of its significance, was mocked outside Washington for the icky chumminess shown between political elites and the press corps. But Litt obsessed over it, and anecdotes about it take up page after page of his book. (An incident in which one of the president’s comedy PowerPoint slides failed to display correctly is told with dramatic flair over two full pages.)

This is the Washington of the Turkey Pardon and the Easter Egg Roll, where photo ops and symbolic gestures matter far more than such comparative trivialities as “what the actual policies of the administration are.” In fact, Litt even says that during the second term, he felt as if he was being given “the political equivalent of a vegan cookie” because the speeches he was writing focused on things that were “all nutrition, no taste” like “help[ing] more students pay off loans” and “insur[ing] more people.” He wanted to make jokes about Republicans, not try to talk to the American public about housing policy. In fact, Litt, Rhodes, and Pfeiffer all subscribe to a politics of gesture, where if you want to address some crisis you give a grand speech about it. One of Rhodes’ proudest moments is writing “the Middle East speech,” and describing a moment of political difficulty, Litt writes: “We needed something to break through. That something was a speech.” These three men are speechwriters, so we can forgive them for being preoccupied with descriptions of things rather than the things themselves. But this tendency to prioritize “getting the words right” over the actual experiences of human beings ran through the whole Obama presidency. Ordinary people were a kind of alien species—Litt says they referred to them as “real people (RPs)” and tried to litter speeches with “RP stories” to make them relatable. “In Washington you never stop hearing about the details of policy but you rarely see its effects.” This is only true if you rarely bother to examine the effects.

There may not have been much Change, but there were plenty of speeches about it. The economic situation of the average Black family may have been catastrophic under Obama, but he did give “the historic race speech.” The United States may have bombed an Afghan hospital, burning dozens of patients alive in their beds (their families each received $6,000 in compensation), but Obama gave a very powerful Nobel Peace Prize speech about how the pacifism of Martin Luther King needed to be balanced with a recognition that using force can be morally necessary.

…My colleague Luke Savage has analyzed how pernicious the influence of The West Wing was on a generation of young Democratic politicos, and sure enough Litt says that “like nearly every Democrat under the age of thirty-five, I was raised, in part, by Aaron Sorkin.” (More accurately, of course, is “nearly every wealthy white male Democrat who worked in Washington.” The near total absence of women and people of color in top positions on The West Wing may give more viewing pleasure to a certain audience demographic over others.) Litt says in college he “watched West WingDVDs on an endless loop,” and Pfeiffer too describes “watching The West Wing on a loop.”

Luke describes the kind of mentality this leads to: a belief that “doing politics” means that smart, virtuous people in charge make good decisions for the people, who themselves are rarely seen. Social movements don’t exist, even voters don’t exist. Instead, the political ideal is a PhD economist president (Jed Bartlet) consulting with a crack team of Ivy League underlings and challenging the ill-informed (but well-intended) Republicans with superior logic and wit. During the West Wing’s seven seasons, the Bartlet administration has very few substantive political accomplishments, though as Luke points out it “warmly embraces the military-industrial complex, cuts Social Security, and puts a hard-right justice on the Supreme Court in the interests of bipartisan ‘balance.’” It has always struck me as funny that Sorkin’s signature West Wing shot is the “walk and talk,” in which characters strut down hallways having intense conversations but do not actually appear to be going anywhere. What better metaphor could there be for a politics that consists of looking knowledgeable and committed without any sense of what you’re aiming at or how to get there? Litt says of Obama that “he spoke like presidents in movies.” Surely we can all see the problem here: Presidents in movies do not pass and implement single-payer healthcare. (They mostly bomb nameless Middle Eastern countries.)

Their West Wing-ism meant that the Obama staffers completely lacked an understanding of how political interests operate, and were blindsided when it turned out Republicans wanted to destroy them rather than collaborate to enact Reasonable Bipartisan Compromises. Jim Messina, Obama’s deputy chief of staff and reelection campaign manager, spoke to a key Republican staffer after the 2008 election and was shocked when she told him: “We’re not going to compromise with you on anything. We’re going to fight Obama on everything.” Messina replied “That’s not what we did for Bush.” Said the Republican: “We don’t care.” Rhodes and Pfeiffer, in particular, are shocked and appalled when Republicans turn out to be more interested in their own political standing than advancing the objective well-being of the country. Rhodes nearly has a breakdown when he is dragged through the conservative press over some Benghazi nonsense. He found himself in “an alternate reality that was insane,” and can’t believe Mitch McConnell turns out to be so “staggeringly partisan and unpatriotic” that he doesn’t care about Russian hacking.

The Obama Democrats, guided by the “let’s just all sit down in a room together and work out our differences” temperament of Obama himself, seemed desperate for Republican approval and shocked when the right proved unreasonable. In 2012, long after Messina had been told explicitly that Republicans were not going to be friendly under any circumstances, Obama invited congressional Republicans to the White House for a screening of Spielberg’s Lincoln, in order to show how political adversaries can cooperate for the common good. “Not one of them came,” Rhodes laments. Obama held out hope that a party willing to destroy the entire planet in order to preserve the privileges of the super-wealthy would come to his movie nights and work things out amicably.

The Obama administration bent over backwards to show that it was pragmatic and moderate and sensible, even inflicting cruel harm on families to show their toughness. Here is Tyler Moran, who was a deputy immigration policy director on Obama’s White House policy council:

There was a feeling that [the White House] needed to show the American public that you believed in enforcement, and that [we weren’t pushing for] open borders. But in hindsight I was like, what did we get for that? We deported more people than ever before. All these families separated, and Republicans didn’t give him one ounce of credit. There may as well have been open borders for five years.

We deported tons of people and separated families, and Republicans wouldn’t praise us!

This same bizarre naivete is evident in Obama’s dealings with Benjamin Netanyahu, as recounted by Ben Rhodes. Rhodes says it was obvious that “Netanyahu wasn’t going to negotiate seriously” about a just resolution to the Israel-Palestine conflict, and that Netanyahu “rejected any effort at peace.” Israeli settlements continued to be constructed in brazen violation of international law. Yet, Rhodes says, “despite Netanyahu’s intransigence, [Obama] would always side with Israel when push came to shove.” In 2011, the Obama administration vetoed a UN Security Council resolution declaring the settlements illegal, even though they plainly were and Obama himself had previously acknowledged as much.** Rhodes says the Palestinians were finding “little more than rhetorical support from us.” They barely received even that. Rhodes relates a stunning anecdote in which Obama meets with a group of Palestinian youth. One nervous boy summons the courage to tell the president that his people are being treated as Black Americans were once treated. Obama does not know what to say in reply. Incapable of directly criticizing Israel, he mutters something about how he believes in opportunity for all. But moved by the boy’s testimony, he decides later to act. What does he do? He adds a line to a speech he gives to Israelis, in which he tells them that Palestinian families love their children just as much as Israelis love theirs. Does he condemn the racist Israeli state? He does not. Does he actually do anything for the boy? Of course not.

Rhodes and Obama are frustrated, then, at criticism “for not being sufficiently pro-Israel, which ignored the fact that he wasn’t doing anything tangible for the Palestinians.” They gave Israel billions of dollars in military equipment, they refrained from tangibly aiding the people Israel oppresses, and Obama went before AIPAC in 2012 to say absolutely nothing in support of Palestinian rights and instead declare:

In the United States, our support for Israel is bipartisan, and that is how it should stay…. I have kept my commitments to the state of Israel. At every crucial juncture – at every fork in the road – we have been there for Israel. Every single time. … Despite a tough budget environment, our security assistance has increased every single year… We’re providing Israel with more advanced technology – the types of products and systems that only go to our closest friends and allies. And make no mistake: We will do what it takes to preserve Israel’s qualitative military edge – because Israel must always have the ability to defend itself, by itself, against any threat… No American president has made such a clear statement about our support for Israel at the United Nations.

Obama swore to AIPAC that he will always fund Israeli missiles before the Detroit school system (if this isn’t “declaring allegiance to Israel”—which Ilhan Omar has been called anti-Semitic for talking about—then pray tell, what would be?) As with the Republicans, Rhodes cannot understand how Democrats can give in on everything and yet still be rejected. How do they not understand? They’re being played for suckers. Of course they’ll still call you anti-Semitic even if you would give the lives of your children to protect Israel’s right to an apartheid state. Of coursethey’re not going to stop building settlements just because you have declined to challenge them on anything. That’s how political power works: If the other party senses you’re weak and won’t do anything to pressure them, they’ll walk all over you! Throughout the Obama staffers’ books, you can hear them crying: But it’s not FAIR! We played nice and they took advantage of it! Gentlemen, that’s how this game works!

…The left can learn a few important lessons from examining Pfeiffer, Rhodes, and Litt. First, these are not the sort of people you want in government. You need people who (1) have clear moral vision (2) have thick skins and (3) do not care about the goddamn White House Correspondents’ Dinner. You need people who understand that politics is about gaining power and then using it to make people’s lives better, not about giving uplifting but empty speeches and walking with purpose down Washington hallways. They also need to avoid accepting political reality as “fixed.” The people who defend Obama suggest that his hands were tied—power was arranged in such a way that he could not act. But the question is: How are you going to change that arrangement of power? If it’s true that “X bill will never pass this Congress,” then how are we going to get a different Congress? The Obama administration was reactive. They played the hand they were given, they had a very narrow sense of the boundaries of the “possible.” They did not understand that being uncompromisingly radical is actually more pragmatic.It’s essential to stop fetishizing credentials. Obama wanted to “hire the best qualified people no matter their politics, and send a message of unity.” That led to him hiring actual Republicans. Unless you’re a Republican, don’t do this. “No matter their politics”? No, politics matter. Your politics are the sum of your vision of what ought to be done. If a president wants to get something done, they need a team of people who also want to get that thing done. That should be elementary, but there just wasn’t that much politics to the Obama movement. Everything was about a guy.And I suppose that’s the final lesson here: Cults of personality are bad. Movements need to be about the people, not a person. The West Wing view of politics is that you just need to get the smartest, most competent, most qualified, most virtuous people into government. But that means nothing without a substantive vision for change and an understanding of how you mobilize an authentic popular movement to make it happen.

#yes to all of this #*#essays

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beyondthetemples-ooc · 6 years ago

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“Telling” Asks

Because I’m relaxing today and I’ve never answered some of these before.

From: https://beyondthetemples-ooc.tumblr.com/post/185158056997/weird-asks-that-say-a-lot

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? Teacups would be ideal, but the reality is more water bottles.

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? Honestly? Neither. (Unless it's a really good chocolate bar, like 85% dark, or Cadbury's~)

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? Both are too sweet for me. (Though, maybe once a year, I'll indulge in one of each.)

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? Bottles, if it's not soda! (Good for multi-tasking and not spilling!) But otherwise, glass cups. Unless the plastic ones are really pretty or have a very nice grippy shape to them.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? Oh always goth, all the way. Technically a more "formal" goth (romantigoth is the label i'd choose if i HAD to pick one),

7. earbuds or headphones? That depends. When I'm active, or when it's hot outside? Earbuds. But when travelling, trying to work in a loud environment, or generally needing sound cancellation: definitely headphones.

8. movies or tv shows? Oh, that REALLY depends on the content. Movies are easier on the ADD, and most TV shows are paced TERRIBLY in the long-running format, but then there's, like... cartoons, basically, that have satisfying stories in each episode AND a great overarching plot.

9. favorite smell in the summer? Pre-Thunderstorm Static.

10. game you were best at in p.e.? I wasn't the best at ANY game in PE... ;P Honestly, my best "game" was probably....... tag, but the kind where they're running away from you as a form of bullying, so you just embrace it and "touch" them just to mess with them.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? I don't. (I don't feel hungry most mornings.) "First lunch" is usually a piece of fruit and maybe a granola bar.

12. name of your favorite playlist? I don't do "playlists", I do "play every album by this artist in chronological order"! But I guess my Epica and Evanescence stations on Pandora come pretty close, huh?

13. lanyard or key ring? Neither actually; I use those bungee-like things you can stretch to hold my things. I literally attach my wallet to my bag's handle with those so I don't lose it.

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? Peppermint? Candied ginger? Do s'mores count?~

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? Oh DAMN that's hard... Let's see. If AR Summer Reading projects count: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire? The Invisible Thread (by Yoshiko Uchida)? Fahrenheit 451? And if those don't count, maybe The Scarlet Letter (by Hawthorne, of course).

16. most comfortable position to sit in? Your classic lotus position. I'm essentially in it right now.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? Work shoes, but outside of work? Black flip flops.

18. ideal weather? Realistically: 65, light breeze, and lots of clouds with a little rain. But my absolute FAVORITE weather was something I've only ever seen ONCE, and that was a thunderstorm in the middle of a snowstorm. It was incredible and the image of lightning against the snowfall is forever seared into the core of my soul as one of the most gorgeous things I've ever experienced.

19. sleeping position? Varies night by night. Safe to call it a general Flop.

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? It depends on the draft! First drafts are best done for me in notebooks (usually, unless it's a scene with No Chronology Yet, it's in the notebook meant for the story)! But also, anything that's on hand whenever a new scene strikes me works too. I've written on napkins, calendar pages, doctor notes, and Greyhound bus tickets.

21. obsession from childhood? Ooh, Teen Titans, still to this day!

22. role model? ...Rrrraven? (And/or, my Actual Mentors. But it's very much a "don't be me, just let us try to teach you some things so you can be the Best You".)

23. strange habits? ...oh gods, where do I even begin. I meditate and practice energy work on the daily. I touch things almost any time I'm walking anywhere, like just reach my hands out a little and touch whatever's closest. I tend to ask a lot of questions when I'm talking to someone, lots of "why is that". I compulsively read Every Single Ingredient on every box I buy and research anything I'm not familiar with. Does taking like 15 pills and vitamins every day count? And also my "nesting" behavior, any time I'm somewhere I feel it's not rude to re-arrange, I grab pillows and blankets for support.

24. favorite crystal? Damnit, all my favorite stones are actually not "crystals"?! But crystalline azurite is close enough. (It kind of depends on the day and what energy I'm looking for. Stone/crystal work is another one of those weird habits. ;P )

25. first song you remember hearing? The "Arthur" themsong. I remember going to my mother and being like, "They said A! A is a letter!" And it wasn't for another, like, 3-5 years that I'd realize, they're saying "hey", not "A".

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? Stay inside. (Anything that counts as "warm" rather than "cool" is too warm for me....) But if I had to pick ONE thing, definitely swimming, in a lake (because I have a mild chlorine allergy).

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? ALL of them! Just being outside as long as it's not too sunny! Hiking, meditating, I used to do all my spiritual rituals outside, reading, walking, hell even at work when we have dogs to take on walks, I love walking in the park with them. Being outside when it's snowing. And then curling up in my room, on my soft bed, with a cup of tea and a book (or a great fanfic) after...

28. five songs to describe you? Teen Titans themesong, Bakura's Theme, What's the Use of Feeling (Blue) 1. End of the Dream, by Evanescence [ x ] 2. My Demons, by Starset [ x ] 3. Underneath, by Tarja [ x ] 4. Paradise (What About Us), Within Temptation ft. Tarja [ x ] 5. Reality Fringe, by Alex Dalliance

29. best way to bond with you? Talking, communicating, while respecting boundaries, with patience and sincerity.

30. places that you find sacred? Honestly, the biggest answers are a part of the Nexus and I don't think I'm ready to talk about that here;; Let's just say, astral adventures have gotten wild enough that my spirit guide and I have meeting places that are sacred, my leader-goddess has shown me a few places, and there are some "places" within my own mindscape that are sacred enough.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? Oh honey, that depends entirely on my mood. And the situation. I have multiple cloaks, some closet cosplays, I wear skirts every day, business jackets, and I can mix and match them however I please. It REALLY depends on whose ass I'm kicking.

32. top five favorite vines? I know I really like Thomas Sanders? But specifics-- Oh. Oh crap, wait I have to visit my vines tag to remember my favorites. DEFINITELY "This bitch empty. YEET" because I didn't know the vine OR exclamation before I saw a fanart that had me DYING OF LAUGHTER, thinking someone just made Blue Diamond yell the word "YEET" for no reason. "FREE-shuh-VAH-cuhdu" makes me die every time. "There's only one thing worse... A CHILD" is TOP QUALITY, genuinely hits at least 3 critical notes of my sense of humor. I love the one with the guys playing the piano (I don't know what genre but it's old-school and chill) and the guy comes in and starts club dancing to it. And the umbrella one with, "Run".

33. most used phrase in your phone? ...probably "if you want"?

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? I haven't seen an ad in literally years. (get uBlock Origin, it works way better than adblock! also, i don't Internet on my phone.)

35. average time you fall asleep? 11pm? (Work nights: 9-10:30, depending on my exhaustion levels. Not work nights? 1-3am.)

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? The actual LOLcats website!

37. suitcase or duffel bag? Neither; I actually use a mid-sized messenger bag and only use Personal Item Sized Bags for airplane trips. Free baggage, y'all. ;P

38. lemonade or tea? Oh tea, definitely tea. (Unless it's too-sweet iced black tea; then that watermelon mint lemonade wins.)

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? Iiii actually can hardly eat either one, but Starbucks' lemon loafs were addictive (but really bad for my system) and I do love lemon meringue flavored things~

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? M e . (I did weird shit like practice reading auras, accidentally warp the moodscape of everyone around me, and get an A on a pop quiz the teacher didn't lecture about for more than five minutes.)

41. last person you texted? An old high school friend I recently reconnected with.

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? Jacket, since I don't wear pants (unless work forces me to, ew).

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? I have no idea what differentiates them. =w=;; Cardigan probably, because I know they have really long flowy elegant ones I like to wear sometimes.

44. favorite scent for soap? ...ooh, that's tough... Lavender's always a good bet, rosemary-mint was a delight, I cucumber-eucalyptus was nice, and I have no idea what scent it was, but a local soap-maker at the farmer's market in the city I lived in for a couple years had this one that was made with, like, honey and red clay, and it felt AMAZING.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? Damnit, don't make me CHOOSE like this! I mean, for writing obviously Superhero because I write fanfics like hell for that genre, but I guess my Pokemon fanfics count as fantasy? And, come to think of it, most of my stories center around metaphysical weirdness is some way or other, so... straddling the line between fantasy and superhero.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? Nudity.

47. favorite type of cheese? ...provolone maybe? ??

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? Pomegranate, probably. Gotta do some work to get to the good stuff, strangely unavailable most of the time, and once you get past all the drawbacks, it's just absolutely loaded with compartmentalized goodness.

49. what saying or quote do you live by? Bold of you to assume I only have one quote! Here's just a small sampling. ~ "Don't you want to feel? Don't you want to live your life? How much longer are you gonna give into the fear?" -Disappear, by Evanescence. ~ "Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night." -Edgar Allen Poe ~ "Be yourself, everyone else is already taken." -Oscar Wilde ~ "Guilt is a powerful motivator. Redemption, even greater." -The Unforgiving, by Within Temptation et al. "When you know in your soul who you are, you can never be corrupted again." -Raven, from the Games graphic novel. + Various quotes from my organization, along the lines of things like "Any Tom, Dick, or Harry can do your job, but only you can be there for your friends, family, and accomplish your dreams", and "When you understand WHY we do what we do, WHAT we do makes more sense".

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? My girlfriend? Most of those vines I mentioned? "OH TITS IT CAN FLY"?

51. current stresses? j o b

52. favorite font? Arial, simple yet elegant. Easy to read. I write all my stories in Arial, so I'm biased. l3

53. what is the current state of your hands? They're in Ohio with the rest of me? 8F No, but seriously, lowkey aching a bit around the finger joints from constantly dragging dogs around for a whopping 60 hours this week, but they're not burned and there's only one Tiny cut I got at work, and I still don't know why, but that's almost gone already. I like my fingernails too, they've been breaking at the corners lately but they're still Decently Long.

54. what did you learn from your first job? "Turn tables" are not, in fact, the name of a band, but an item of musical arrangement. (I worked at the Exchange and someone asked if we had anything like the turn tables. I thought they meant musically similar to a band named Turn Tables.)

55. favorite fairy tale? Does the epic poetry of the Kalevala story count? (Finland's national epic!) But I'm not a big fan of the Grimm style fairy tales.

56. favorite tradition? Going to Evanescence concerts at every single available opportunity? Wearing a bracelet my gf gave me and a ring my mother gave me any time I travel? I'm not one much for Generational Tradition at all, I do kinda like forming my own though~

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? Literally just, myself. 1. Overcoming my doubt in myself. 2. Overcoming my social anxiety re: Starting Conversations. 3. Overcoming my phobia so I could, you know. Eat food.

58. four talents you’re proud of having? ?! How do you even define what constitutes a "talent"? 1. WRITING! (Creativity re: characters and the plots they're in. Descriptive writing. My mother always acts blown away whenever she reads my writing re: "how you get into the character's head".) 2. I can speak very eloquently and articulately, most of the time. And not just via verbiage; I know how to say things that Matter. 3. I can cook a fantastic stir-fry! And, apparently, really good soup. 4. I'm proud of my (non-numerical) eidetic memory, sometimes. It's kinda just There, and I'm not, like, ACTIVELY proud of it, but it sure makes things easier re: remembering friends' triggers, fandom trivia, etc.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? What makes you think I don't create each response on demand? (There's... really not something I think I say often enough to count as a catch phrase. So I legitimately have no idea.)

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? Is "dark magical girl anime" a thing? Because that'd be MY thing.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? See above quotes.

62. seven characters you relate to? 1. R A VE N that's it that's the list Theeee only other ones I relate to are kinda awkward answers to give for this (re Synpathy and such related topics), but then again there's hella sympathy for Raven too, so.... 2. Ryou Bakura 3. Blue Diamond 4. Lapis Lazuli 5. Malachite (it's Complicated) 6. Sucy 7. Crona

63. five songs that would play in your club? Just insert any five Alex Dalliance songs here, I don't listen to a whole lot of Club Style Music. (Unless.... does, like, Cascada and Caramel count? Because I still kinda like their styles.) My "club" would be more like orchestrals by Danny Elfman and Evanescence instrumentals and/or live music from local rock bands.

64. favorite website from your childhood? TitansGo.Net! Screenshots, transcripts, even the forums... I browsed that site on the daily.

65. any permanent scars? Oh boy, are you sure you're ready for this? My scars fade quickly, but you'll see them if you know what to look for. One on my forearm from when I fell off a bed onto a broken fan grate at age 5 (it's a 3-inch long gash), on my left pointer finger from being bitten by an angry rabbit, scars on my heels from my comic!Raven cosplay shoes, scar on my right hip from using rubber cement to attach a scar prosthetic for a Kary cosplay (at my supposedly practical-effects-knowledgeable father's advice-- not good advice at all, for the record, don't put that shit anywhere NEAR your skin), tiny spot on my right hand from the time I became too emotional at my girlfriend's house and scraped it on her carpet, tiny dot on my left shoulder from a protruding nail in an old (pavillon without a roof thing?) we once had in the backyard, tiny line on my right ring finger from the time Belle nearly fell from right next to me and I caught her (she tried to grab something and wound up scratching me), and a scar on my right elbow from cleaning the tortilla press at Chipotle. (They didn't tell me there were protective gloves to use. They really should've told me that.)

66. favorite flower(s)? Oh gosh, I don't know. I like almost all flowers, really. I love the scent of lilac and magnolia in the air. Rose and hibiscus make lovely teas. Seeing mint and lemon balm in bloom always makes me feel contented. Willow and basswood flowers remind me of happy childhood memories at the nature reserve. Pink hibiscus flowers have Very Special Meaning to me (for the other blog, really). And of course, flowers with energy or aromatherapeutic effects like lavender are favorites, too.

67. good luck charms? Look, I don't NEED good luck.~ Confidence, strategy, and being alright with whatever happens are my "good luck charms". (And throwing a little magic at it never hurts when I REALLY want something...)

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? ....I'm not comfortable answering that (phobia memories, just not gonna think about that okay.)

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? ...Remember that eidetic memory I was talking about? Every single little tiny fact I'm thinking about, I can remember how I learned about it.

70. left or right handed? Ambi, actually! 55% right. 45% left.

71. least favorite pattern? That depends on what it's for. Wallpapers? Floral (it kills my ADD, but floral patterns can make some very pretty dresses and blankets). Furniture? Paisley (but some people rock it in clothes). Furniture? any kind of fur trim (but again, it looks good on clothes). Clothing on me? Leopard and zebra (but I like it on lots of other things). My room? Checkered and tartan (but again, good patterns for other things, esp. clothing and interior styles that AREN'T associated with my room in particular, my room's just so noncomforming and cluttered that Busy Patterns like that aren't). I guess overall I'm just not a fan of highly stripey or square-y patterns?

72. worst subject? Math. Always has been. Probably always will be.

73. favorite weird flavor combo? The weirdest and actually not the grossest I tried was, out of curiosity to see what Tamaranian food might ACTUALLY taste like, I mixed sushi with ice cream. It really wasn't that bad! That one's my favorite for fandom reasons. 8P I don't do a whole lot of "weird" flavor combos otherwise.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? (Those... those are the same thing, buddy.) 8 or 9. NSAIDs, especially naproxen and ibuprofen, really irritate my stomach, so it has to be worth a week or two of Lowkey Constant Nausea to take it. For example, the last time I was waking it, I had dry socket. You know, that thing that happens when you get a tooth extracted and the blood clot doesn't form, so YOUR ACTUAL BONE IS EXPOSED for two FUCKING weeks..... and before the dental stuff, I would only take it when Monthly Stuff would get so bad, it could leave my crippled and crying on the bathroom floor for an hour. (Might've been longer if stepmom hadn't gotten me n0aproxen.....)

75. when did you lose your first tooth? Hell if I know what age that was, I think I swallowed it.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? Potato soup, especially my mother's! But I also like BAKED fries (actually fried fries tend to be... Really Badly Received by my system;;), kettle chips are pretty good in small amounts, and I love those criss-cross cut fries at Mr. Hero (I just can't eat more than, like, five at a time, guh).

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? I absolutely LOVED having my lemon balm. But it got the aerial blight from my peace lily, and it died with all the rest of my houseplants. :c

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? Sushi from a grocery store, just because this place called Giant Eagle makes some fairly good sushi for like $5 on certain days of the week, and I think they make it every 3-4 days. Fresh, like you can see them making it right in front of you.

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? My passport is actually my best, I think~ Though my college ID didn't look bad, either.

80. earth tones or jewel tones? Depends on what they're for. Clothes, I guess jewel tones because I like blue and purple. But for interior decorations, earth tones like deep rich browns and black are my go-to.

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? They're.. the same thing? ??? I've used both interchangeably.

82. pc or console? PC, mostly because that's all I've had most of my life, and of course DC Universe Online was on my PC so maybe I'm biased. 8F

83. writing or drawing? Oooh, writing for me, all the way~ (Though I gotta do SOME drawing now and again!)

84. podcasts or talk radio? Neither, they're both too long for my ADD. And I don't... really care about most people on them? The only one I've ever seen was Amy Lee on short talk show interviews and the Steven Universe podcast with MKAtwood of course.

84. barbie or polly pocket? Neither. (I had both. Played with Polly Pocket because it came with a lot more animals, but those got lost way too easily, and I never got into the Barbie.)

85. fairy tales or mythology? They're both equally important and equally fascinating! Mythology has more Spiritual Resonance, and fairy tales have more Societal Resonance.

86. cookies or cupcakes? Depends on what kind! Oatmeal raisin cookies beat chocolate cupcakes, but red velvet cupcakes with a cream cheese frosting beat chocolate chip cookies.

87. your greatest fear? I have emet*phobia. You can look up what that means yourself because I don't even want to type the word, thanks.

88. your greatest wish? Just, freedom.

89. who would you put before everyone else? Damn it, I'm too compassionate for that answer. Whoever needs it more at that very moment.

90. luckiest mistake? Being so antisocial that the people running the ALP program made me sit with my girlfriend. I asked "Do you like Teen Titans?", and the rest is history.

91. boxes or bags? Boxes for long-term storage, bags for the daily.

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? Lamps, generally. Candles trump them all, but LED lamps are a lot less fire-hazard-y when you might fall asleep. lD;;

93. nicknames? RHS, RWT, Shadow, Zira (means "Shadow"), closest friends call me Rae.

94. favorite season? Winter~ It's the kindest to my easily-overheated sensibilities.

95. favorite app on your phone? Prooobably the voicemail app my or/ganization uses? I don't do much else on my phone besides, you know. Phone stuff (talk/text).

96. desktop background? PC: A shot of Raven meditating in the forest from Justice League vs. Teen Titans, with the incense and glow and her head bowed and focused and everything. Laptop: The sky as Lapis looked up at it, the gorgeous Homeworld constellation from "Ocean Gem".

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? Three. Mine, my girlfriend's, and only because she had the same phone number since I was like 8 years old, my stepmother's. Everyone else's keeps changing.

98. favorite historical era? The answer I want to give is Nexus-related, but I don’t think I have a real favorite era. I know too much about the history of misogyny, racism, colonialism, variation between eras around the world, and generally fucked-up shit in every era I've ever learned about.

#IRL canon #meme #filled meme

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