#oblivious aelin

[imsandra]

A Little Interruption

Pairing: Lorcan Salvaterre x Female Reader

Summary: Even the shadows know how to find the light of day.

Warning: Fluff

Word Count: 1239

Notes: I hope you enjoy this story by Lorcan. As always, let me know your comments, suggestions, everything is welcome as long as it is with the motivation to teach and with respect.

English is not my native language, so I apologize for any spelling or grammar issues.

Original story, I wrote it myself. Please do not copy or plagiarize my story.

I appreciate the comments, reblogs, and likes I receive.

Happy reading!

Master list

The cool breeze and afternoon sunlight filtered through the windows of Orynth's castle.

The grand hall was filled with serious conversations, military strategies, and tactical discussions.

Aelin sat at the end of the long wooden table, with her characteristic regal bearing. Next to her, Rowan remained silent, as always, vigilant and attentive. Gavriel, Aedion, Fenrys, and other members of the queen’s inner circle were in their designated seats at the table, discussing details of recent missions and alternate routes for upcoming journeys. The atmosphere was comfortable, almost familiar, despite the seriousness of the topic.

Lorcan remained in his usual spot, arms crossed, his expression tense as always. He was focused on the conversation until he heard a light knock at the door. He barely paid attention at first, thinking it was a servant. But when the door opened slightly, and a small head peeked in, he knew his peace had come to an end.

With light steps, his small daughter, with dark hair and bright eyes, entered the room, holding a little cookie in her hands. Her blue dress swayed around her as she ran towards Lorcan, completely oblivious to the seriousness of the environment.

“Daddy,” she said with her little voice, drawing the attention of everyone present, “I brought you a cookie.”

Lorcan sighed, but his expression softened the moment his eyes met his daughter’s. He stretched out his hand and took the cookie she offered with a shy smile.

“Thank you, little one,” he murmured, whispering something only she could hear, as he patted her head.

“Aww, how cute!” Fenrys teased, never missing the chance to enjoy the spectacle.

Aedion smirked, exchanging an amused glance with Rowan. Aelin, sitting across the table, hid a smile behind her fingers.

“Daddy’s busy now, sweetheart,” Lorcan said gently. “Go to your mom, alright?”

Rosella nodded eagerly and, with a giggle, left the room again. It wasn’t long before the door opened once more, and the same little figure ran towards Lorcan again. This time, she held a slightly battered flower that she had plucked from one of the gardens.

“Daddy, this is for you.”

Lorcan blinked, and this time, a murmur of laughter rippled through the table. Fenrys couldn’t contain a chuckle.

“A flower? Well, Lorcan, it seems you’ve won over the ladies,” he said with a mocking grin.

Aelin let out a giggle, and Rowan gave her a knowing look. Lorcan, with his usual limited patience, carefully took the flower and placed it on the table.

“Thank you, honey,” he said, almost resigned. “But I need you to go to your mom now.”

Once again, the little girl left, but not five minutes passed before the door opened again, this time without even a knock. The little one burst in, a wide smile on her face and a folded handkerchief in her hands.

“Daddy, I found this. Is it yours?”

Lorcan dropped his head back, visibly testing his patience while the others struggled to contain their laughter. This time, even Gavriel, usually the most serious, couldn’t help but smile at the child’s persistence.

“Daddy, it’s your handkerchief,” she said, as if it were the most important thing in the world.

Lorcan took the handkerchief and tucked it into his cloak, while the little one stood firmly beside him, not moving.

“Thank you, my girl,” he said softly, before trying again: “Now, go to your mom.”

Before the little one could leave, the door opened once more. This time, it was Y/N who appeared at the doorway, a playful smile on her face.

“Am I interrupting something important?” she asked, her voice soft but clearly amused as she looked at Lorcan with a glint in her eyes. “It seems someone can’t be away from their father for long.”

The girl ran towards her mother, but before reaching her, she spun on her heels and ran back to hug Lorcan’s legs.

“I don’t want to go!” she said firmly, clinging to her father as if her life depended on it.

Aelin, completely amused by the situation, decided to seize the moment.

“Oh no, let her stay,” she said, grinning mischievously. “It’s adorable to see Lorcan’s softer side, isn’t it, boys?”

Fenrys burst out laughing.

“I never thought I’d see the day Lorcan Salvaterre would be tamed by a five-year-old girl,” Fenrys shot Lorcan a mocking grin. “You’re completely done for, brother.”

Lorcan shot a murderous glare at Fenrys, though it was hard to intimidate anyone when a small child was clinging to his legs, insisting on staying with her “daddy.”

“If you keep talking, Fenrys,” Lorcan said in a low, threatening voice, “you’re going to wish you hadn’t when I’m done with you on the training field.”

Fenrys leaned back, feigning fear as the others laughed.

“And here I thought I’d seen everything,” Aedion added, leaning against the table as he looked at the little girl. “Maybe we should take her to the next battle. She clearly has power over you that none of us have.”

Y/N smiled as she watched the scene, crossing her arms with a satisfied expression. She knew Lorcan would never admit how much he had changed since their daughter came into their lives. He was still the relentless warrior everyone knew, but with them, with his family, he had found a kind of peace that no bloodiest battle could ever offer.

Rose, ignoring the buzz around her, leaned against her father’s knee and, with a sweetness that would melt the hardest heart, bent to kiss his cheek. Lorcan remained still for a moment, completely bewildered, while a slight blush crossed his face. The others could barely contain their amusement.

“Now,” the little one whispered, snuggling into Lorcan’s neck, and with a deep sigh, let exhaustion take over.

Lorcan glanced sideways at her, completely unable to stay impassive. As gently as possible, he shifted his daughter in his arms, settling her against his chest. The little girl sank against him, her breathing slow and calm, and Lorcan let out a soft sigh, resigned to the situation.

The momentary silence was broken by Fenrys, who leaned forward with a mischievous smile on his face.

“If I weren’t seeing it, I’d never believe it,” he muttered, while the others exchanged amused glances.

Lorcan didn’t respond. His attention was entirely focused on the small figure asleep in his arms, his demeanor now relaxed, with a softness he almost never showed. He leaned down, pressing his lips to his daughter’s forehead in a delicate kiss.

“Looks like you’re no longer the scariest person in the room, Lorcan,” Rowan teased, though his voice also held a note of admiration.

Lorcan simply rolled his eyes and threw a quick glance at her, who had now moved closer to him. She smiled, gently touching their daughter’s arm before leaning down to kiss Lorcan’s forehead.

“I think that’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen,” Y/N whispered.

He returned her look, a glint of affection in his eyes.

“Don’t get used to it,” he replied, though the slight smile on his face betrayed his words.

With the little Rosella soundly asleep on his chest and Y/N’s warm presence by his side, Lorcan let the rest of the meeting continue around him, though he couldn’t help but notice the knowing glances everyone was casting his way.

For the first time in his life, perhaps, he didn’t mind.

*divider by @cafekitsune , thank you <33

A/N: I had baby fever these past few weeks so I made Lorcan a dad, I hope you enjoyed it. It's probably not necessary for a 5 year old to speak extremely well or maybe it is, I rarely hang out with kids so I'm not sure lol

I love you guys 💛.

tags: @sidthedollface2 Sorry it took me so long and I hope you enjoyed it, kisses 😚.

[mariaofdoranelle]

The Booty-Call Dare

Written for @throneofglassmicrofics, prompt “Impress”

I got the idea for this after an incredibly unproductive conversation at a bar lol

Warnings: language, sexual themes (but SFW)

Words: 963

You’re just proving my point, Rowan texted her in response to a selfie Aelin sent of herself eating pie.

“What’re you smiling at?” Lysandra teased from the other side of Aelin’s living room, which caught Elide’s and Fenrys’ attention.

She immediately wiped it off her face and gave an eye roll before giving her attention back to Rowan.

It has strawberries in it, Aelin texted back, defensive of her dessert choices. It counts as fruit.

Nice try. There was a brief pause before he sent, What’re you up to?

Not much. You?

She needed to cut this conversation short before Fenrys complained that she wasn’t focused on Girls’ Night—no one could pinpoint exactly how he started attending, but he was a constant in her monthly-ish reunions with Lysandra and Elide.

In response, Rowan sent her a picture. It was a mirror one, just the curves of his biceps and shoulders in front of rows of dumbbells.

A gym pic.

Are you trying to make me feel bad for all that pie I ate? What the hell was she supposed to say?

His response came lightning fast. I thought it counted as fruit.

“Holy shit,” Elide said from behind Aelin, right before snatching her phone and zooming in the picture. “He’s so trying to impress you with these.”

“Stop it,” Aelin hissed as she took her phone back.

It wasn’t a show-off picture like the ones Fenrys posts, it was casual. Rowan must be so oblivious he had sent her a not-so-friendly reminder of his very tanned biceps.

“What?” Lys asked.

“Rowan DMed her a gym pic!”

Fenrys choked on his pie.

Aelin crossed her arms, ready for it. Her friends had a problem of constantly reading too much into Rowan’s behavior when he was just being a good friend.

Fenrys held both hands up in surrender. “Look, I can’t see through a dude’s heart, but I know when he wants his dick wet.”

Sometimes, Aelin wondered if things wouldn’t be different if she hadn’t been in a relationship when they met, in college. Still, she was glad for what they had now. “Rowan wouldn’t risk our friendship for a hookup.”

Fenrys sighed, a faraway look that indicated that he was in Philosopher Mode. “Having female friends is like raising chickens. Even if you never eat them, at some point you’ll look at them while you’re hungry and wonder.”

“Very well, then.” Aelin raised one brow up. “We’re friends.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“And you don’t think of me romantically.”

“No, ma’am.”

“But if I invited you to my bedroom…”

“I’d be there in a heartbeat. So would Rowan.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Alright.”

“Alright?” Aelin was confused, Fenrys never gave up like this.

“Alright,” he confirmed. “Call him now. Prove me wrong.”

“What.”

Lys and Elide cackled, then started a chorus of Do it! Do it!

Never one to back away from a challenge, Aelin squared her shoulders and unlocked her phone. “If I win, you’ll be demoralized and drop this subject forever. And if I lose…?”

Lys rolled her eyes. “You’ll fuck Rowan. I think this is a win-win scenario for you, Ae.”

But would she? She didn’t have much time to think about it, given the speed in which Rowan took her call.

“Hey, Fireheart.”

Her friends would mock her endlessly is she described Rowan as anything close to cheerful, but after being best friends for so many years, Aelin learned how to pick apart his undertones of grumpiness and yes, this was a happy one.

“Buzzard, hi.” The messy background noise from the call indicated that he was still at the gym. Good. She’d win this bet more easily if he was busy when she made the proposition—an idle brain is Hella’s playground. “Are you busy tonight?”

“Depends. Why’d you ask?”

“Um…” Aelin got up and paced around her small living room, and her friends watching on the edge of their seats didn’t help at all. “This might seem out of the blue, but I was wondering if you were up for… some Netflix and chill. You and me.”

This pause that felt like a lifetime was probably Rowan rewiring his brain after his best friend threw herself at him. Then, “Sure. There’s this new horror movie I thought you’d like. Or you wanna watch Gilmore Girls again?”

He didn’t want this. Rowan didn’t want it so bad he failed to recognize her proposal for what it was. The desire to hang up on him and disappear forever was overwhelming.

“No, not Netflix and chill. Netflix. And chill.”

A pause. “I’m confused.”

“I—“ Aelin pinched the bridge of her nose. This was harder than she thought. “Do you wanna bang?”

Rowan’s deafening silence was all the confirmation she needed.

“Fuck, um—“ Aelin grimaced. “I’m sorry. This was so stupid of me—“

“NO!” he interrupted. “S’okay. I— Um— Can you meet me in an hour? My place? Yours? D’youwannagrabdinner?”

“Um…” From the way her friends were grinning, Aelin’s blush must be visible from outer space. “Your place. I already ate. See you in an hour.”

“Cool.”

Aelin mumbled an unintelligible goodbye and hung up.

“I’m not even surprised.” Fenrys had a triumphant smirk on. “He’s doing cartwheels as we speak.”

Lysandra, the traitor, was laughing. “He’s setting off fireworks!”

Ellie’s eyes went wide. “Did he ask for that hour to shave?”

Aelin was frozen in place.

She had just scheduled a hookup with her best friend.

“Should I call him again to cancel?”

“Do you want to?”

No, she didn’t.

She had just potentially murdered their friendship, and Rowan seemed to be okay with it.

Aelin peeked under her shirt, cursed and ran to her room.

“I’m wearing granny underwear!”

If Aelin was about to ruin their friendship, she’d do it right.

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[offtorivendell]

My thoughts on Elain as Karen

You didn't ask for this, so please feel free to scroll on by, but a fandom of purported feminists is currently using the "dumb blonde" insult to denigrate a woman who threatens their preferred ship. Because of course.

Yes, Sarah said that Elain fans would "hate" her for saying she was the one who best suited Karen (from Mean Girls), but those laughing aren't considering...

That this comment didn't come out of the blue; Regina and Gretchen were also matched with characters from TOG and neither of those references are being widely used to say Dorian or Aelin are super spoilt or cruelly manipulative.

When SJM asked if Karen was the "dumb" one, she used air quotes around the word, as if she was quoting others.

That Sarah's comment about the association being hated was not rooted in nastiness about her own character - who had really grown by the end of ACOMAF, and whom she previously claimed she'd choose as a friend - but rather in the knowledge that many people think being "dumb" or "ditzy" is the worst crime a woman can commit.

It is at least a little ableist to mock someone based on their perceived intelligence.

Karen thought she could predict the future, and Elain had just been Made into a faerie who we found out was a Seer in the very next book! 🔮

Sure, Karen was spacey af, but who cares? This was very possibly just Sarah having a little joke with herself, especially as Elain went into Super Spacey Seer mode when we next saw her, part way through ACOWAR. By the time she made this comparison, Sarah would have been working on ACOWAR and Elain's journey and growth; she didn't think Elain lacked intelligence at this point in time, as Mor called her "wise."

Maybe you're okay reading about the same type of heroine over and over, but imo, making Elain different in this way makes her interesting.

Yes, of course "Elain is only a fictional character" and it's "not that serious" - I decided to type this up today because I'm beyond sick of fandom hypocrisy. The people using this clip are not doing so to simply have a good-natured laugh about Elain being a space cadet in ACOWAR, or as commentary on her very shortlived obliviousness in the first chapter or so of ACOTAR; they're using existing real world prejudices to mock, all while very often requesting kindness and preaching against fandom toxicity for their own favourite characters and/or theories.

You can't have it both ways.

Besides all that, and maybe most importantly, I don't know about you, but if I had to choose a friend I'd go for a Karen over a Regina or a Gretchen any day.

[shadowdaddies]

Hi would you write an Gavriel x reader fanfic where they haven’t told anyone they’re together yet because they have an agegap and don’t know how the other will react? Maybe Aedion or Fenrys, a younger fae male asks her out and that’s how everyone finds out?

I love this!💜 Thank you for giving me the self indulgent excuse to write about both Fenrys and Gavriel being interested in reader💅

Mine

Gavriel x Reader fluff

The sound of a door opening downstairs had you jumping away from Gavriel on instinct. You had become used to hiding your relationship - meeting in secret, keeping your distance around others - it was becoming exhausting. It was understandable - Gavriel was being cautious in building a connection with Aedion after their rocky start, and he was self conscious about how much older he was than you. As much as you wanted to be seen with your mate, neither of you wanted to risk the progress he had made with Aedion to bring you being mates into the situation.

With a sigh, Gavriel gave you a quick kiss before you quietly left the room, him staying behind as you made your way downstairs alone so as not to raise any suspicion. You strode into the living room where Fenrys, Aedion, Aelin, and Rowan were gathered, taking your seat on the couch next to Fenrys. “Hi, angel,” Fenrys greeted, giving you a flirty wink as he brought his arm around the back of the couch. “Hey, Fen,” you greeted your friend warmly. Used to Fenrys’s flirtatious nature, you were oblivious to his advances as he asked you about your day. 

Aelin and Rowan were occupied in conversation - curled up on the couch opposite you - as Aedion lounged in the chair to your right, seemingly studying a report from one of the lieutenants. Rowan turned from his conversation with Aelin to Fenrys. “Hey Fen, wasn’t there something you wanted to ask?” he questioned as he nodded his head towards you, a slight smirk playing on his lips. 

Everyone turned at that, eyes on you and Fenrys as you looked at him curiously. “What is it, Fenrys?” you asked, poking his side as you smiled playfully. For the first time since you’d met him, Fenrys looked nervous - running a hand through his long blonde hair as he bit his lip, eyes flicking to yours. “Uh, I’d been thinking about asking you to dinner, if you’d like. Just the two of us.” The pointed look in his eyes told you that he meant as more than friends, but before you could respond, a growl sounded from behind you.

Fenrys’s eyes flashed with alarm as he glanced over your shoulder, everyone turning to see Gavriel standing at the foot of the stairs, anger radiating off him like you’d never seen. You could feel his jealousy through the bond, watching in shock as he stormed across the room to where you were seated. “Get your hands off my mate,” he snarled.

Everyone’s jaws dropped at his words, Fenrys holding up his hands in a placating position as he backed away from the territorial male who towered over you. “Your mate?” Aedion asked, fully setting down the report he was reading, eyes shooting back and forth between you and Gavriel. Gavriel’s expression immediately turned to one of shame as he turned towards his son. You fumbled for words to explain, “Aedion, we didn’t - I just, with the two of you just now bonding, we...” 

You were at a loss for words, but that didn’t matter as Aedion let out an amused laugh, shaking his head as he smiled at you. “We knew you were seeing each other. I just didn’t know you were mates.” 

“WHAT? I didn’t know! Aedion, you told me I should ask her out,” Fenrys ranted from the corner, red-faced with embarrassment. Aelin and Rowan snickered from where they were sitting, Aelin tossing a chocolate at him. “You were the only one who it wasn’t obvious to, and things were getting boring around here. We had to find some interesting way to get them to admit their relationship.” She turned to grin at you. “I’m happy for you.”

Smiling back, you murmured a “thank you,” as Gavriel came to stand behind you, putting his hands on your shoulders. He gave them a squeeze, turning to Aedion, asking him softly, “you’re not bothered by this?” Aedion smiled, “of course not. I’m happy for you, and even more so that you’re mates.” 

You gave him a bright grin, looking up to where Gavriel stood above you. He leaned down, kissing you passionately - the bond glowing with love and contentment. You pulled apart at a gagging sound from your right, Aedion’s lip curling as he covered his face with the report he held, grumbling, “okay, well I didn’t want to see that.”

You laughed, bringing Gavriel around to sit with you on the couch. He pulled you into his lap, and you wrapped one arm around his neck as you patted the cushion next to you. “Come on Fen, he won’t bite,” you promised with a wink. Fenrys came over to sit with you, rolling his eyes as Gavriel glared at him and pulled you close, and kept you close for the rest of the evening.

[throneofsapphics]

Omgoshh I love how your wrote protective feysand and rowaelin!!! Could you do something where someone says they don't think the reader is deserving of a king and queen being with them. How would everyone reacttttt?! (For either rowaelin or feysand)

any recommendations

Rowaelin x Reader

Warnings: none

Summary: Someone heavily implies reader isn't good enough for Rowan and Aelin.

A/N: thank you!! sorry this is a bit short, I feel like feysand would definitely be more cruel haha

“Why would they choose you?” She forced air into her lungs. The comment was subtle, quiet, and underhanded. But, the woman forgot there was Fae in this room, and several heads turned - all at once. The woman, still oblivious, chattered on. “I don’t see why you would deserve both of them,” the room went silent as she glanced over at her, eyes scanning her quickly, and the bitch shrugged. “I just don’t see it.” 

“Do you have any recommendations?” Y/n asked sweetly, forcing a smile on her face. She glared at Rowan, then Aelin - telling them to stand down. Instead, they circled the room subtly, approaching from the sides. Along with the rest of the court. 

Y/n decided this woman was absolutely idiotic and could not read a room for her life, because she kept opening her damn mouth. “Well, someone from better stock of course.” She seemed to think she was agreeing with her. 

“Like yourself?” 

“I didn’t say that,” she rolled her eyes, but y/n felt the satisfaction rolling through her. That’s exactly what she thinks. 

Apparently Rowan and Aelin came to the same conclusion, because a strong pair of arms tugged her back, wrapping possessively around her waist. The Queen stepped close to the woman, and y/n noticed with a bit of satisfaction that flames were dancing in her eyes. 

-

She glanced down at her nails, a bored expression on her face. “What’s your name?” Absolute fury was rolling through her, bubbling under her skin. Especially at how long y/n let the conversation roll. She was ready to cut this woman down, several levels. 

The woman curtsied before opening her mouth to answer. Aelin held up a hand, “On second thought, I don’t care.” 

The idiot finally seemed to realize exactly what she’d done. Rowan stood a few steps behind her, arms wrapped around y/n. Both to send a message, and to keep her out of Aelin’s way. From better stock. Gods that pissed her off, lit fury underneath her. Whether or not someone’s of noble birth has no consequence to her. But, apparently Terrasen still has a hint of bigots in hiding. 

-

“You shouldn’t have let her go on.” Rowan murmured in her ear, quietly. 

“I wanted to see what she really thought.” He sighed, wrapping his arms just a bit tighter. Y/n had her share of doubts before, ones he and Aelin worked extensively to get out of her head. He could feel the hurt inside her, hurt she was shoving deep down - trying to hide. It infuriated him that someone would have the nerve to say that to her, and so blatantly. 

He watched with satisfaction how Aelin verbally cut the woman down, until she was reduced to tears before banning her from Orynth and telling her she gets to explain to her father why.

He has a feeling Y/n has been speaking to Aelin this entire time, talking her down from burning the woman inside out. Only her warmth in his arms centered him enough to keep him from choking the air out of her lungs. 

[nikethestatue]

Antis: Azriel doesn't care about Elain. He only cares about the mate bond. That's all he wants, and she is irrelevant.

The bond snapped for him with Gwyn, but he is too stupid to realise it. The bond is there, but he doesn't know it.

So are you telling me that a man, a FAE MALE, who is consumed by the mate bond, and doesn't even care who get is mated with, as long as he is mated, doesn't realise that it snapped? He, his shadows, his secret intuition and his Fae male instincts ALL failed to notice that he is bonded to Gwyn?

Like, he can smell the Elucien bond just fine.

But his own bond is so elusive to him that he has no idea, while he sees his 'mate' every day in the training ring. Nothing is clicking, or poking, or jolting, or waking him up. The guy is so oblivious, he doesn't want to frenzy with anybody.

Please. Make it make sense.

PS Also, please name another Fae male who didn't know he was bonded? Even when the females didn't know. Rowan, who didn't think it was even possible, still felt like Aelin was his mate.

The men/males who knew: Rhys, Cassian, Hunt, Rowan, Lucien, Rhys's father, Tamlin's father, Lorcan (suspected), Kallias

Man who doesn't know: Azriel

[nalgenewhore]

so sick of myself

elide x lorcan, modern au/estbalished relationship + they r still smitten kittens + jealousy/fight, word count: 2514

The atmosphere inside the car is suffocating. 

He could say something to cut the tension, he should say something to put her out of her misery, but he won’t. 

Elide’s squeezing her hands over and over, and he can feel the weight of her stare on him the way he felt it the whole drive home. He won’t look at her. He can’t right now.

Lorcan slowly pulls his keys out of the ignition. Then, he just looks out his windshield at nothing. 

“Lor…”

“What?”

Elide closes her mouth, almost deflating.

He can barely stand this. To sit beside her right now makes his skin crawl, and his mind keeps wrapping around their last fight, the blowup they had after Aelin accidentally disclosed what really happened to Elide during that one shift. That ended with her telling him to get the fuck away from her and not call her till she was ready. 

And he knows he deserved that, deserved the days spent in self-inflicted agony.

What he’s doing right now isn’t revenge. Lorcan wants to tell her it isn’t to hurt her, but he can’t bring himself to even look at her. He doesn’t really trust himself to speak either. There’s a nagging feeling that he could say something really fucked up, that would cut into her bones, and he can’t do that, hurt her on purpose.

So, he stays silent.

Elide stares at his profile. 

She finds her tongue again by unsticking it from the roof of her mouth. “Should I go home?”

“-fuck you sayin?” His voice is flat and still manages to cut her. He still hasn’t looked at her, not once since they left the party.

“Do you want me to go home? I’ll call a cab.”

Lorcan sighs through his nose, his full lips pressed thin. “Stop.” He rubs his eyes. “Obliviously fuckin not, why’re you askin dumbass shit?”

She sinks back into the passenger seat. “It’s a valid question.”

“And what you think the answer was gonna be?” He mumbles, toneless. His hand falls from his face.

“You won’t even look at me.”

“‘lide, I want you with me, always. I just…” he shakes his head, “can’t really look at you right now, bro.”

Elide fiddles with the hem of her skirt. Now, her eyes have dropped to her lap, and she finds she can’t look at him either. “I really wasn’t-“

He cuts her off with a little huff. “Nah, you know I don’t wanna hear it.”

Silence stretches between them; it’s so heavy as it bores onto her shoulders, and she strains under its weight.

“What do you want me to do?”

From somewhere, either on his person or in his car, Lorcan procures a thick blunt and wedges it between his lips. “Take my bed an’ get some sleep.” He thinks about telling her that he wants to fuck the anger out, or at least wants her mouth on him, but she’ll let him. At that point, he’d be using her and that doesn’t sit well with him. “I’ll come when I’m good.”

The words clog in her throat, too many wanting to escape all at once like it wasn’t a big deal, you misread the situation, stay with me even if you’re not good, get angry - yell at me, use me, do whatever you want. “You won’t come with me now?”

“Nah, I just, like,” he says, “rather not do that.”

She swallows.

Lorcan gets out of his side, like the absence of her response ratchets the tension just that much more to where he can’t stand her proximity. The car shakes when he slams the door shut, and Elide flinches even though he always closes his door that way. She carefully dries her eyes with the sleeve of her cardigan. 

When he opens her door, she tries to make it seem like she isn’t crying, but he still sees the traces of it. “Lee, c’mon, Imma get you some clothes and-”

“No, I’m fine,” she lies, shaking her head with a wet, phlegmy laugh. “It’s fine.” Elide stands up and sidles past him. “Um, don’t worry about it, I’ll get settled and everything.”

He looks at her solemnly before letting her go. As he settles against his beater, bringing a lighter to his blunt, she forces herself to walk into his house without looking back.

✵✵✵✵✵

Tonight, his bed feels cold and stiff. The whole house does. 

She’s choking on the wrongness of it all.

And, deeply, she’s confused.

Because Elide doesn’t know what to do when he’s mad at her. He never really shows that. It’s never gotten to the point where he explicitly does not want to be around her. 

She feels untethered, like she’s floating in a great big sea.

She thought she could psych herself into thinking it was just like any other night. That he’d come to her when he finished smoking.

But she already heard him come inside two hours ago. The walls shook (she imagined) when he let himself in. His presence, never mind it was past a shut door and down the hall, sucked all her oxygen up.

So, Elide rolls onto her side, and she can’t shake the feeling that she doesn’t belong here without him, staring at his spot.

Her phone lies on the mattress by his pillow, and she snatches it closer, blinking at the bright screen.

Once she works up the nerve to text him, she doesn’t hesitate to press send, then quickly toss her phone down.

EL: Are you still awake?

There’s a buzz half a minute later (she counted the seconds).

LS: why u still up

EL: You’re not here, I can’t sleep

Her breathing slows like her lungs are being squeezed by the hand of his avoidance. Elide watches the little read notification pop up but no further acknowledgement. It weirdly crushes her, makes her sink into the mattress.

There was a small relief when he told her he didn’t want her going home. By now, that spark of warmth has faded. She might beg him to join her.

LS: try ill come in later

EL: I don’t want to wait. Be “not good” with me.

LS: alr told u i can’t

LS: do u need sum

EL: You

LS: b serious lee if u dnt need sum lemme b

EL: Then I guess nothing.

She turns onto her back as pits of tears grow and well in her throat.

Elide feels like a kicked puppy, so needy and wanting for his attention. She’s never felt like this before. She hates knowing it’s her own doing.

EL: I love you.

EL: I want you to sleep with me even if you’re not good.

EL: We don’t have to talk.

She waits for his reply, knows that he’s still up from the muffled sound of the television.

When it doesn’t come, a childish kind of anger bursts in her stomach.

“Fucking asshole,” she speaks aloud to herself when the read receipt pops up.

Elide curls back into a ball and banishes her phone to his side.

She hears her phone vibrate a few minutes later, and she’s quick to grab it, the bright screen making her squint.

It takes a couple blinks for her to be able to read the messages.

LS: yo u kno the doors thin

LS: was brushing my teeth

LS: if ur talking abt me say it to my face

Her stomach drops like a stone but her pulse jumps with anger.

EL: Thought you didn’t want to talk.

LS: that was before i heard u

LS: come here bro

He does this thing when he’s annoyed where he’ll call her ‘bro’ to create emotional distance between them.

EL: Why?

In the hallway, she hears him groaning in annoyance.

LS: get out here

LS: obvi u wanna talk

EL: And if I don’t?

LS: r u fr

LS: then dont im not forcing u

LS: r u trying to piss me off??

Elide doesn’t answer. A minute passes, and his footsteps fade into the living room.

✵✵✵✵✵

The couch is too small for him even when he’s on his side. He turns onto his back, guilt eating him up for ignoring her messages before.

LS: sweet dreams

LS: baby

LS: i love you

He waits for her to see them, his chest twisted until she answers. The bubble in his gut stays inflated the longer he waits, and Lorcan knows soon enough that she’s probably asleep, or at the very least, she’s leaving him alone like he wanted. Yet, that feeling of being ignored that he hates so deeply remains.

When he gets up, he can’t say whether he’s going to her out of his desires or hers. Lorcan scrubs his eyes as he walks to his room, floorboards creaking beneath his feet.

He can tell she isn’t asleep the moment he steps inside his room. 

Lorcan crosses the room and sees her phone laying down on the nightstand. He picks it up, just to see if she saw his text, only to sigh as he puts it back. She hasn’t.

“Gimme some room, ‘lide,” he says softly, tapping her back.

She moves without a word.

As he lies down, he’s cautious of her unbidden hair. 

It’s familiar, the slide of his arm around her waist, the way it feels to pull her back into him. 

Lorcan can feel the tension in her body like she wants more but fears his denial.

Which will never come, because it hurts too much to deny her.

She eases when he presses his mouth to her bare shoulder. “Baby, turn over.”

Elide slowly turns to face him. Even in the dark, he can see how her eyes worriedly search him. 

They lay in that timid silence for a while. He traces each notch of her spine with his knuckles, coaxing her closer. 

It feels like salt on an open wound, lemon juice dripping over split knuckles.

She nuzzles her face into his neck, and something about that graze of her lips over his skin unleashes them.

“I always thought you’d be the jealous type.”

Lorcan holds her tighter, his arms locked across her back. “‘m sorry. Not tryna be a dick.”

“I know.”

“Did I make you cry?” His thumb is on her cheek as if to check for wet rawness. It’s still hard to look at her.

“Not really.” Elide slides her hand around his, turning her chin to kiss the base of his palm. She pulls back to look at him. “I know you’re not good, but I still want you here. It’s selfish-”

“Nah, s’not, never selfish.” Lorcan sighs deeply, feels guilty. He slides his fingers down her neck. He finds it easier to focus on the gooseflesh that erupts in the wake of his touch. “Can’t even stay mad when all I wanna do is be ‘round you.”

She squeezes her eyes shut, trying to sort through her words. “I never know what to do when you’re mad. You just shut me out.”

“I know.” He hates being angry around her. Anger makes him unbearable, he thinks. It always has. “I- don’t wanna be mean to you or say some fucked up shit. You never make me, like, for real mad. I just didn’t know how to act around you.”

Elide twists her fingers in his shirt. “I wasn’t- nothing happened. It was a misunderstanding.”

His jaw clenches. “s’not bout that.” He should be calm, he should tell her he believes her (since he does). Yet he’s not done being pissed at her, he wants her to take some of his anger even if that isn’t nice or fair. “Lee, you didn’t say shit to her.”

“I didn’t even realise she was saying something in that way, I could barely hear her.”

“Like I get that, but it’s still some girl in your space and touching on you, and you just lettin her be there? How’s that supposed to look to me?”

“That’s why I was pushing her back, she grabbed my hand and, like, held it on her. I didn’t want that.”

Lorcan chews on his lip. He’s not sure he has the heart to really go in on this conversation. 

“I wasn’t going to kiss her, Lor.”

“I… yeah.”

Elide lets out a breathy, anxious laugh. “Like, I wouldn’t ever do that to you, you get that, right?”

“I feel you.” He brushes his mouth over her forehead. “Just looked bad.”

Silence, unresolved, settles over them like a storm cloud waiting to break. 

Lorcan slides his hands beneath her (his) t-shirt as he weighs his next words. “What fucked me up is that you- I had to tell her you got someone. Felt like… you didn’t want her knowing that?”

Elide shakes her head. “I don’t want anyone who isn’t you. Everyone that matters knows that.”

He closes his mouth and lets the quiet of nothing creep back in for a second.

“Uh-huh.”

“Why are you worried? Have I done something to make you this worried?”

He can’t answer her immediately. 

“I’m so in love with you,” he eventually says. “s’not anything you done or whatever, I’m scared bout how easily you could hurt me.”

It makes her heart sink a bit. “I wouldn’t ever want to.”

“I know. I know that, Lee.” Lorcan breathes in deeply and finds it a little easier to speak. “You got me thinkin bout my future and, like, real shit. ‘m not used to that.”

Elide’s almost scared to ask. “Am I in your future?”

He gives her a look that’s slightly irritated like she should know better than to ask that. “You are it.”

The declaration, as soft as it’s spoken, makes her surge forward and kiss him. A second later, Elide realises it’s probably not what he wants right now. She backs away; Lorcan’s hand slopes around her nape and holds her to him. He kisses her back slowly like he wants to savour her. 

She leans into his body, letting her lips part when he licks over the seam of her mouth. Elide wants to feel him fully, to fuse them together so she never has to feel so untethered again, though she knows that’s probably not the most healthy thing to think. “I love you,” she whispers. “I’ve never loved anyone like I love you.” Her hand wraps in his t-shirt. “I want you forever.”

“You got me forever,” he promises.

Elide swears it back to him. He nods – he believes her. Just like that, the tension in her chest unhooks, and she can breathe, she can feel her heart pumping again, her mind calms.

He’s not in the mood to push past the kisses that act like a lifeline between them. So, Lorcan settles against her, and the draped weight of him over her becomes this shroud of exhaustion - she’s so tired suddenly with her eyes begging to be shut.

She thinks, briefly, fleetingly, the moment that his breaths even out, that lying against one another is what they’re meant to do.

✵✵✵✵✵

an: another installation of my new mini series thing! next i hope to either finish their first meeting OR first kiss we shall see <3 here is part one

tags: @sassyhobbits @empress-ofbloodshed @celestialams @the-regal-warrior @shyvioletcat @icecream52 @elentiyawhitethorn @goddess-aelin @julemmaes @sunshinebingo

[charincharge]

I Don't Want To Wait, sixy-nine

AN: I’ve been waiting literal years to get to chapter 69, but alas. It didn’t work out the way I wanted it to. In fact, I think this chap is going to be split in two. Hopefully the second half will be up by the end of the weekend. Please enjoy and lmk via comment or reblog if you’re still out there.

Aelin leaned her head back into the seat rest and let the wind whip through her long hair, her stress melting away with each mile they drove away from Orynth. In the aftermath of the Evalin debacle, she was more than ready for a full week of nothing resembling schoolwork or stress whatsoever. Nothing but relaxation, sunshine, and sex. She’d even made a special trip to the mall with Manon and Elide to purchase a few new nightgowns for the occasion. And she could not wait to show them off. And honestly, she couldn’t wait to have sex in a real bed. Her knees were totally bruised and red from the back seat of the Jeep. She sighed happily, imagining the week-full of scantily clad moments and couldn’t help but look over at Rowan, who was hyper focused as he made his way through the winding highways at the base of the Terrasen mountains.

She took a moment to truly ogle him. The flex of his forearm as he made his way meticulously around every curve. His furrowed brow and his recently cropped hair showing off the thick column of his throat. One of his teeth peeked from between his pillowy lips, gnawing on the skin there, completely oblivious to Aelin’s lusting.

“Aelin, look away from your boyfriend before he crashes the car,” Lysandra laughed from the backseat, causing Aedion to snort loudly beside her. “Could you be any hornier? Gods.”

“Yes,” Rowan smirked, still not taking his eyes off the road ahead of him. Okay, so maybe not completely oblivious. “You sure your parents won’t care that we’re spending the week at their beach house?” Rowan asked Lysandra for approximately hundredth time since she’d pitched the idea the week earlier.

“They’re on a luxury cruise on the coast of the Southern continent for the rest of the month,” she replied, giving her same answer no matter how many times he asked for reassurance.

The plan had come together fairly last minute, not that Aelin was complaining. She’d anticipated her spring break being a boring (but still delightful) affair of vegging out in front of the television, but this was going to be a whole lot better. Obviously, spring break was a minefield of substance use (and abuse), and Lysandra had pitched the idea of a sober week at her parents’ completely empty beachside mansion. Aelin could tell that Lysandra was feeling genuinely nervous about the prospect of being alone, and Aelin was happy to gather a group of people, who would enjoy a week of sobriety. Manon and Elide had jumped at the opportunity to be unsupervised for a week, while Dorian had pratically thrown himself across the table asking to join. (Apparently his dad had been more annoying than usual as he waited for college apps to roll in). And though Aelin had anticipated Chaol not wanting to participate, given whatever weirdness was going on with him and Dorian, he also seemed exciting to come.

What Aelin hadn’t anticipated, though, was her cousin’s presence. He was waiting at Lysandra’s, suitcase in hand, as Rowan and Aelin swung by earlier this morning. He’d waved her raised brow off with a loud, “Let’s get this sober party started!” And that was, apparently that.

She looked behind her at the pair, wondering what was actually going on between them. Despite the absence of any kind of drugs or alcohol, Aelin had a distinct feeling this week was going to be a wild one.

. . .

The house was… incredible. She’d seen pictures of it before, but Lysandra’s family used it primarily as an event space, renting it out during the summer months. It was still slightly too chilly to utilize the beach, so it sat, dark and empty. But, just stepping into the brightly lit foyer, Aelin felt lighter than air.

“You and Rowan are in the master on the fourth floor,” Lysandra said, pointing to the staircase.

“Really?”

“Aedion requested that you both be out of earshot from him,” she said with a teasing smile.

“And where is my dear cousin going to be sleeping?” Aelin asked, curiosity peaking.

Lysandra rolled her eyes, and Aelin didn’t fail to notice that wasn’t an answer.

“Manon and Elide are stopping for takeout, so text them with your order ASAP,” she said instead.

Aelin was going to push further, but Rowan came sweeping in beside her, their suitcases in hand, and starting running up the stairs.

“Race ya!”

“That’s cheating!”

Aelin tripped over her own sneakers trying to get ahead of him, but the man was built like a tree trunk, and no matter how many times she tried to snake around him, he blocked her again and again.

Finally, as they rounded the corner to master suite, Aelin was able to pull ahead. And the sight that awaited her was even better than she could have imagined.

Squealing, she took off in a run before falling back, full body flopping and bouncing onto the

king-sized bed, which took up the center of the room. She sighed happily as she stared up at the billowy canopy above her, the smell of beachside breeze surrounding her as Rowan cracked open their giant bay window. Behind a set of gauzy curtains was a private balcony, overlooking the beach and the ocean beyond it, and Aelin felt like royalty with how good everything felt. She could get used to this.

With a wide smile, Rowan came and flopped next to her, both of them bouncing in tandem off the mattress and crashing down into each other in a breathless pile of limbs.

“Hi,” Rowan said, curling his body towards hers, his green eyes dark as his hand ran its way under the hem of her shirt. She inched forward in return, leaning into the pads of his fingers as they circled the skin of her back.

“Hi.”

Her voice sounded breathless to her own ears. Although, that could be due to the fact that they’d just sprinted up four flights of stairs.

“Dinner! Text.” Lys shouted up the stairs, breaking the spell between them momentarily. She jotted off a quick text, then resumed her position staring at Rowan. Gods, he was so beautiful. And she was so lucky to have him. His fingers never ceased their movement, delicately running up and down the curve of her side, as his face relaxed into a contended smile. She briefly had the urge to pull her journal from her backpack and record this moment, this prolonged moment of touching between them, as she had before they’d admitted their feelings for each other. The shadow of a past that she barely knew anymore.

She’d brought the journal in hopes that she’d be able to write out any of her feelings regarding her murky future, but with Rowan’s face merely inches away, it all seemed so clear. She’d only ever need him. Unable to resist the pull between them for a second longer, she tugged the collar of his shirt toward her and pressed her lips to his in a soft kiss.

He mumbled something against her mouth, but she was too blissed out to really hear his words.

“Shouldn’t we go downstairs,” he laughed, as she trailed kisses down his throat. “Help Lys unpack the groceries and games and stuff?”

“Mmm, no,” Aelin said, rolling her boyfriend to his back and lifting up his shirt to scatter soft kisses against his abs. She loved the way they clenched beneath her touch. It made her feel so powerful. Rowan snorted loudly, but it morphed quickly into a groan as she fiddled with the waistband of his pants.

“Ace,” he attempted to admonish her. “Friends. Downstairs.”

“Guess we’ll just have to be quiet.”

He flopped back onto the fluffy white comforter with a muffled groan as Aelin tugged on his pants. And as she started to move over him, she errantly thought she should have texted her friends that they would be late to dinner and not to wait for them.

. . .

They were indeed late for dinner. But no one minded. The table was filled with chatter between their friends, who barely spared the freshly showered pair a glance as they walked in. They table was mid-card game already, and Aelin laughed loudly as she figured out they were playing an extremely intense game of Go Fish between bites of their seafood feast.

“Go. Fish,” Aedion said confidently, causing Dorian’s blue eyes to narrow with irritation.

“If you have a three you have to give it to me,” Dorian insisted, causing Aedion to smirk back.

“I know how to play the game, pretty boy.”

“You think I’m pretty?”

A matching smirk appeared on Dorian’s face, and the sudden moment of silence was so charged that Aelin felt herself warm slightly. Looking around the table, she knew she was not the only one who noticed. The tension coming from both Lysandra and Chaol’s tight smiles was palpable.

Well, that was certainly an interesting development.

“Dorian, do you have any fives?” Manon cut in, apparently observing the same situation that Aelin had.

The spark died quickly as the game progressed, but it didn’t escape Aelin’s attention that Chaol’s eyes flicked between Aedion and Dorian a few dozen times. He’d insisted they were fine and that the moment they spent as more than friends was just a blip in the past, but given his furrowed brow and tipped frown, Aelin had a feeling that wasn’t exactly true. Poor Chaol.

The rest of the night followed without incident — they received a full house tour from Lysandra, who showed them how to use the highly complicated smart house settings, which included internet, lights, the thermostat and auto-timed blackout shades. She also led them out to the deck and taught them how to turn on the hot tub, as well as the outdoor lights and music system. After she taught them how to turn on the projector in the theater room, and where everything had been put away in the kitchen, they decided they deserved an evening of rest. They all gathered on the family room the couch to eat copious amounts of candy and popcorn and watch a horror comedy that Aedion had picked. Aelin was glad she and Rowan had gotten in some alone time earlier, because somewhere toward the middle of the movie, she could feel her eyes getting heavy with sleep.

“You okay?” she could hear Rowan ask somewhere just out of reach of the depths of her exhaustion.

She mumbled a soft, “I’m asleep,” as she flopped harder onto his chest, and she could feel the rumble of his laughter beneath her cheek as he stroked her hair, and that was all she remembered.

She didn’t wake until hours later when the first hints of buttery sunlight peaked through the curtains of their master suite. Based on Rowan’s soft and steady breath beside her, she knew it must be really early, and a quick glance at the clock told her it wasn’t even six yet. Despite not being a morning person at all, she felt invigorated and inspired. She crept quietly out of bed, throwing on a pair of sweats and grabbing her journal before heading downstairs.

The delicious aroma of coffee awaited her downstairs, a full pot already brewed from the fancy machine Lysandra had taught them how to use last night in their detailed house tour. She looked around to see who else was awake, but the kitchen was completely empty. Instead of doing further inspection, she poured a hefty amount of hazelnut creamer into her coffee and grabbed a blanket from the stack on the end of the couch to wrap around her shoulders before making her way onto the deck.

The sun was just starting to peak over the horizon when she settled in at the outdoor table with her coffee. Awash in the beauty of the blue waves softly lapping at the shore of the beach, contrasting with the deep purple and pink sky first tinged with the first rays of the firey red-orange sun, Aelin felt like she could finally breathe for the first time in a long time.

Her worn journal was battered and bruised, and she regretted that it had been ignored in the recent months, in favor of her color-coded planner. It was her dad who’d reminded her of its existence, wondering if she wouldn’t feel better if she put pen to paper about how she was feeling. And though she wasn’t exactly sure what was going to come out, she placed her pen against a fresh page and took off. As the words formed in her messy sloping print, she found herself writing about the moment itself. She wanted to remember this sky, the way the sunlight spilled over the darkness like a molten lava, lighting up the horizon like a fire, starting deep glowing red, then turning a burning orange, until it became unmistakably golden.

She didn’t know how long she’d been writing for when the seats next to her started to fill up with her friends, but the sun was firmly fixed in the sky, daylight pouring over the wide expanse of sand and glistening atop the ocean’s placid undulations. She shut her journal and reached for her coffee mug, which had been freshly filled and was steaming again. Her glance drifted next to her where Rowan lifted his own mug, which read “World’s Best Granddad” in a scrawling script, in an air cheers, and they both smiled as they took a sip in unison.  

“So, what’s on the agenda today, Miss Lys?” Aedion asked, clapping his hand loudly on her shoulder.

Lys glanced up at him with a beaming smile. “Glad you asked.”

Lysandra had put in more prep than Aelin had even anticipated, making sure that they had multiple activity options for each day they spend there. Aelin had known Lysandra was nervous about this week, but she hadn’t realized exactly how nervous until she saw Lys’s list for potential activities and which weather they’d be best for.

Since the weather was abnormally warm for this time of year, they decided to take advantage of the sunshine and explore the local town. It was a short walk from the house, and though it was pretty much just two streets of “downtown,” it was fun to look into each of the darkened windows, seeing where tourists would line up to indulge in artisan fudge and hand crafted beach bags, decadent scoops of ice cream, and kitschy beachwear as soon as summer came around.  

“Sup, buttmunch?” Aedion swung a large arm around Aelin’s shoulders as they ambled down the main street.

Aelin’s instinct was to shrink out of her cousin’s arms and tell him to fuck off, but he had the distinct privilege of catching her in a moment where she was trying to relish the moment. She remembered how hard it sucked when he went away to college, how far away he felt, and couldn’t resist leaning into his grasp. It only caused him confusion.

“You good?”

Aelin nodded. But Aedion knew her too well.

“I heard about your mom.”

Well, that caught Aelin’s attention.

“What? How?”

He nodded toward Lysandra. “Don’t be mad if she wasn’t supposed to tell. She was just… worried. If anyone knows about parental issues…”

Aelin shrugged. “I’m okay.” But Aedion wasn’t satisfied with that answer and proceeded to pinch her side. “OW!”

She must have reacted too exuberantly because before she could say anything, Rowan was there, hovering and worrying and asking Aedion what was going on.

“I’m fine, buzzard,” she laughed, shooing him away.

“Sorry I upset your bodyguard,” Aedion chuckled. And it felt so natural to just be with him that she almost cried. She thought about the way their relationship had ebbed and flowed in the last two years, and she regretted… a lot. She loved Aedion. And cutting him out was one of the worst things she’d done in a long list of mistakes.

“He’s fine. And so am I,” Aelin reassured her cousin, who was still peering at her with the eyes she saw in the mirror every day. Damn, it was so hard to lie to him. “Or, I will be.” She took a deep breath. “I’m just looking forward to a week with no drama.”

At that, Aedion snorted loudly.

“I’m sorry, you gathered a group of stressed out couples and almost couples and former couples and expected them not to bring you drama?” he asked, eyes sparkling.

Aelin’s jaw dropped. “And which one are you?”

“I don’t believe in labels,” he replied, puffing out his chest. But his posturing was short-lived as he lowered his voice. “Dorian is… nice.”

“I KNEW IT!” Aelin hissed.

“Shush,” he chastised her, pulling her closer.

“But what about Lys?” she asked.

And she saw the way Aedion’s eyes glazed over with concern as he sought out the brunette in front of them. “She’s an incredible human, and I like her a lot.” He paused. “Maybe more than I should.” He sighed as he looked down at Aelin again. “She’s strong as hell, and she’d straight up die for anyone she cares about. It reminds me a lot of someone else I know…” He chuckled. “But, she’s not allowed to date for at least another six months, according to her sobriety rules. And she said she’ll probably follow it for longer, given how fucked up her last relationship was. And, she’s straight up told me that. And I have to respect that. So, yeah, I’m looking elsewhere.” He paused, his eyes sliding to Dorian’s swaying hips a few feet in front of them. “And elsewhere is cute.”

Aelin rolled her eyes. “Yeah, and elsewhere has a former-almost relationship sleeping next door to him.”

“I know,” Aedion laughed. “Which is why I think you should be prepared for drama,” he said, tickling her side. “I know you can’t possssibly understand because you’re in the most incredible amazing relationship ever, but…”

“You talking about my butt?” Dorian quipped, winking over his shoulder, and Aedion’s cheeks had the audacity to turn pink.

Aelin didn’t think she’d ever seen him blush before, and she couldn’t believe the shade of scarlet he turned at Dorian’s attention. Which… was worrisome, given Chaol and Lysandra’s sudden tension in their posture. Drama. Oh dear. Perhaps Aedion was right. Aelin considered herself warned.

. . .

When they got back to the house, everyone was ordered to leave the kitchen. Manon and Chaol (of all people!) had decided to cook everyone a gourmet dinner. Unbeknownst to anyone, Chaol had pursued an interest in the culinary arts and he was enamored by the technology available to him in Lysandra’s parents’ kitchen. And apparently Manon was an excellent chef, according to Elide, who had enjoyed many meals via her girlfriends’ talents. As they had walked by a local grocery, they’d picked up all the ingredients they needed for the most delicious dinner ever. They spent their time walking through the aisles, deciding what to prepare and landed on a multi-course meal that would knock everyone’s socks off. Apparently last night’s takeout was… fine, but they wanted something more elevated. Just from overhearing their planning, Aelin had deduced dinner would consist of several different salads, seared scallops, a complicated steak dish, and a dessert that Aelin would be dreaming about for hours. She thought perhaps they had watched too much Top Chef, but who was she to complain about receiving the fruits of their labor?

Since the group had hours to kill and the sun was starting to sink into the horizon and leave the house shrouded in dark shadow, Lys suggested that they start up the hot tub while Manon and Chaol manned the kitchen. Elide and Chaol had offered themselves up as sous chefs to help with any prep, but they were rejected, leaving them to join the hot tub crew. Aelin felt absolutely great about that. And as soon as she put on her bikini, so did Rowan. His hands wrapped around her waist, pulling her close and nuzzling his face into her neck. “Mmm, you smell so good,” he moaned, and Aelin couldn’t resist smiling widely as she remembered the multiple nightgowns she’d brought and hadn’t taken out yet. Rowan would be dying. And they’d be putting this master bed with its fluffy mattress and even fluffier comforter to good use. She’d specifically bought a few sexy nightgowns in colors she knew he would love – gold, green, and red. But she was careful to push them to the bottom of the suitcase and out of Rowan’s view. After arranging the clothes just so, so everything was out of sight, she placed her her journal on top to and pulled her bathing suit out.

He was already clad in low-slung shorts, which highlighted his abs in an obscene way, and she contemplated saying fuck it to the hot tub and just pulling him into bed right in that very moment, but she also knew that she should be social and that this was not just a sexcation for her and her boyfriend. When she looked at the wide expanse of his chest and thick roped arms that was hard to remember. So she pulled him out of the room quickly, not wanting to tempt herself more than she needed.

In the hot tub, Lys and Aedion were already stewing in the steamy water, seltzers in hand as they tried to control their temperature. Aelin stepped in and let the lapping bubbles overtake her, sliding onto a seat that was right next to a pulsing jet. She couldn’t help but moan, causing all the eyes in the hot tub to slide to her.

“Sorry,” she apologized, causing a round of laughter to take off.

Dorian and Elide slinked in shortly after, and even though Aelin was leaning hard into Rowan’s side, she kept an eye on Aedion and Dorian and Lys, wondering exactly what was going on between all of them at every moment. Rowan definitely noticed at one point, elbowing her side, but she ignored him.

“Ugh, I’m overheated,” Rowan complained about thirty minutes into their soak.

“Really? I’m perfect,” Aelin replied, causing everyone to laugh.

Rowan shook his head, laughing at his girlfriend. “I’m gonna take a cold shower and then I’ll be back,” he assured her, leaving her with a solid kiss that left Aelin breathless.

“Y’all are as disgusting as ever,” Aedion said, causing Dorian to snort loudly.

“That’s nothing,” he added. “Wait until you see them in the minutes before they head to their not-so-secret parking lot spot to fuck.”

Aelin’s cheek’s filled with blood at his words, but she wasn’t ashamed. “Whatever,” she laughed off.

Even Elide joined in the razzing, making Aelin realize that maybe she and Rowan were more obvious than they let on. She was so busy laughing that she barely realized that Rowan hadn’t rejoined them until everyone was getting out of the tub an hour later.

As she walked through the kitchen, she sniffed in the incredible aromas and told Manon that she was looking forward to dinner, to which her friend simply replied, “You better be.”

Dripping slightly, she skipped up the stairs to the master bedroom. Rowan was laid out on the bed, his eyes closed, and Aelin assumed that he was simply exhausted, and walked herself straight into the shower. She showered the chlorine out of her hair and took extra time to shave her legs all the way up to her hips, making sure that she was feeling good and confident about being alone with Rowan tonight.

But when she made her way out to the bedroom, Rowan was staring at her with such vitriol that she was taken aback.

“Uh, hi?” she asked, and he simply scoffed.

“Hi.” She wrapped the towel tighter around her chest and looked at him for real. He did not look happy. His frown tugged down exaggeratedly and his brow was crinkled with stress lines.

“You okay?” she asked, even though the answer was an obvious no.

“Just wondering why you’re with me if you think I’m inconsiderate and emotionally stunted,” he said super casually, as if he hadn’t said something completely insane.

“What?”

He reached for her journal, which she hadn’t even realized was in his grasp, and held it in front of them.

“Apparently you think I’m selfish and horrible and completely unworthy of your attention, so I guess I’m not so sure of what you’re doing with me.”

Aelin was aghast.

“You read my journal?”

He scoffed, as if he hadn’t done anything wrong. “Well, it was out there for anyone to see. I barely had to flip through it to see all the shit you wrote about me,” he said, annoyed as ever. But all it did was spur Aelin’s anger. How…dare he?

She snatched the journal from his hands and clutched it to her still damp chest.

“You’re not even denying it. You read my journal.”

He stuck his nose into the air, not denying a thing, and Aelin’s heart panged with a hurt so large she thought maybe she was having a heart attack.

“That wasn’t okay, Ro.”

“Obviously,” he quipped. “This is where you write how much you fucking hate me.”

She could feel herself vibrating with anger as she opened the journal in front of him. “Oh yeah? I hate you?” she sassed. “Then please tell me why I spent all of the summer between junior and senior year cataloguing every time you touched me? Because I hated you?” she seethed. “This journal is my most private thoughts and feelings,” she admitted. “And most of them are about how in love with you I am.” She took a deep breath, her shoulders shaking with every deep breath. “So you read the one page where I was frustrated that you didn’t love me too? Get over it, Rowan. You put me through hell. HELL!” she shouted. “You didn’t give me any signal that you loved me too, at all. So, sorry if I had one stupid journal entry talking about how frustrated I was with you. If you had turned the fucking page,” she said, turning the page for effect. “You would have seen how stupidly obsessed and in love I was with you, but you don’t deserve to read that either.”

She shook with her anger, unaffected by the change in her boyfriends’ expression.

“Now get out.”

“But—”

“Get out.”

She watched as Rowan gathered himself off the bed and headed out the door, and she chose to ignore the small furrow in Rowan’s brow or the clenching of his jaw, as she slammed the door shut.

How dare he. Like, really. How. Dare. He? He had no right to invade her privacy and then be mad about what he’d discovered. Not to mention, if he’d only skipped ahead a few pages in the journal he would have stumbled on a time stamped record of every time he’d touched her, making her skin light on fire with lust and wanting. I’m fact, nearly 99% of that journal was just wishing and hoping that he’d ever look her way or see her as more than a friend. It was the contents of a lovestruck puppy. But NO. He had to crack open her journal and peer inside the one, single day where she hated the wanting and the pain from wanting so bad that she had to get it out — expel the poison from inside her, knowing that none of it was really how she felt. It wasn’t true then and it certainly wasn’t true now. And he knew that! So, how dare he have the audacity to be upset about her most private painful thoughts when he was the one invading them?

She could feel tears burning the edges of her eyelids but refused to let them through. Instead, she sniffed back loudly and tilted her head to the ceiling. An old fan whirred slowly above her, letting out a soft clinking sound with each rotation. One of the blades was slightly off and kept catching the very top of the chain that dangled below. Her breathing steadied as she watched the fan do its wonky loop again and again, the clinking starting to soothe her and she inhaled and exhaled with each sound. 

What a dick.

“UGH!” Aelin pushed herself up and stalked to the door, swinging it back open.

Rowan stood exactly where the door had slammed in his face, and she watched him take a breath, presumably to say he was sorry, but Aelin didn’t care. “Don’t,” she whispered under her breath. “I’m starving, and this dinner sounds so fucking good, and I don’t want to fight.”

“I just want to talk—”

“Well, I don’t,” she snapped.

To his credit, he nodded succinctly, not pushing for more.

“I’m so mad at you,” she continued. “What you did is not okay,” she said, breathing hard and ignoring the way his green eyes pinched at her words. “That journal is my private thoughts and feelings, and you reading it without me… I thought we had boundaries.”

His eyes looked sad as he said, “But I thought we told each other everything.”

And she took a large breath to reply. Because she understood. She really did. “We do. Now. But Ro, that journal is from years and years of our lives. It starts freshman year, and I still use it today. Do you know how many thoughts and feelings I’ve had about you since then?” she asked. She grabbed the journal. “If you turned the page, you would have seen a detailed time stamped spreadsheet of every time you touched me our sophomore year. Literally time stamped. But there were so many times that I wasn’t sure about us. You were with fucking Lyria! For months,” she shouted. “So, how dare you come and be mad at me when you read how I was feeling during that time? I didn’t know if you’d be with me ever.” She took another deep breath, ignoring Rowan’s pained face. “I’m sorry you got your feelings hurt, but I’m not sorry for writing my feelings down in my journal. It was the only way I was able to survive. And youi peaking into that time without acknowledging how hard you hurt me then isn’t just tone deaf, but it's stupid, Ro. Really fucking stupid.”

“I thought you wanted me to read it…” he said, trying to explain himself.

“Well, that was your mistake,” she said, wiping a rogue tear from her cheek.

Rowan apologized, but Aelin barely heard him. She’d wanted to be apart from the drama, but as she and Rowan made her way down to dinner, she realized that they were the drama. And it was about to be everyone else’s problem.

[leiawritesstories]

Kiss Me Again

Rowaelin Month, Day 5: A Bad Date

Word count: 998

Warnings: mild swearing, Chaol

enjoy!!!

@rowaelinscourt

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chaol Westfall was a terrible kisser. 

Aelin resisted for as long as she possibly could, but the second she got into her house and closed the door behind her, she was wiping her mouth vigorously with the back of her hand and doing her utter best not to gag at the too-recent memory of Chaol’s uncomfortably moist hands on her shoulders. The kiss had been both too short and far too long, barely more than a press of his quivering lips to her carefully painted lipstick, and she’d watched him lick his lips right before going for the kiss. 

The oblivious jackass hadn’t even noticed that her eyes had stayed wide open. 

“That bad?” 

Aelin jumped a little at the unexpected question. “What?” 

“Tell me I didn’t just see you trying to bleach Westfall’s slobber off your lips,” Elide deadpanned. She’d been Aelin’s roommate since they were in college; they were as close as sisters. 

“That’s it.” Aelin shrugged. “I’ll give him points for paying, but that won’t get his dating score up from absolute zero.” 

“I told you not to go on that date.” 

Aelin sighed heavily. “Ells, I’ve been single and horny for way too long. I need an orgasm that I haven’t given myself, and a date is usually the best way to get there.” 

Elide shrugged. “There’s so many other options, and you went for Mr. Vanilla from your workplace? Please, you’re as cliché as a YA romance.” She looped her arm around Aelin. “But I love you, and I can help you get a worthwhile date.” 

“Fuck off,” Aelin laughed. “Remember the last time you set me up?” She grimaced. “I’m still shocked I made it home in one piece.” 

About six months ago, Elide had set Aelin up on a blind date with a guy she’d met at a club. He’d hit on her, but Elide was very much taken, so she’d offered to set him up with Aelin, and he’d accepted. The date was spectacularly awful–Aelin came home in a taxi barely an hour after she’d left. Apparently, the guy had showed up off-his-ass high on something and made a sleazy comment. So Aelin had punched him in the face and left. 

“Yeah, maybe that wasn’t the best idea,” Elide agreed. “I’m still not letting you stay single and horny, though! I’ll think of something else.” 

“Oh gods,” Aelin groaned, theatrically. “I’m scared.” 

Elide snickered. “Don’t be.” She was already texting, her fingers flying across her phone screen. “I’m just asking Lor which one of his friends he’s willing to sacrifice.” 

“Funny,” Aelin drawled. “Am I really that bad?” 

“Of course not.” Elide winked at her. “But I will eviscerate the next guy who hurts you, so it might very well be a sacrifice.” 

Laughing, Aelin headed upstairs. “Let me know when you’ve figured it out, Ells!” 

The very next morning, Elide greeted Aelin with a big mug of fresh coffee and an even bigger grin. “Good morning, Ae!” 

“Uh, good morning, Ells.” Aelin eyed her roommate–who was far too cheerful for seven in the morning–warily. “What’s got you all bright-eyed this morning? I didn’t hear Lorcan crawling out of the window last night.” 

Elide blushed bright pink at the memory. “You’re the worst.” She perked up astonishingly quickly. “You have a date!” 

“That’s…great, I guess.” 

“Aelin Ashryver Galathynius. At least pretend to be excited.” 

“I don’t know about that, Ells. I’m a cynic at heart, and even if I wasn’t, I have shit luck with blind dates.” Aelin drained her coffee. “I need to get dressed.” 

“You do not have shit luck, most guys are just douchebags.” Elide took her empty coffee mug and squeezed her hand. “This guy is Lorcan’s oldest friend, though, and Lor promised to beat him up if he does anything wrong.” 

“All right, I suppose I can deal with that.” A grin flicked across Aelin’s face. “Text me whatever details I need.” 

~

It was nearly midnight when Aelin walked up to her house, hand in hand with Rowan–the unexpectedly chivalrous, impossibly gorgeous man Elide and Lorcan had set her up with. Her eyes were bright with alcohol and excitement, and she walked slowly, careful to keep her heels from clicking too loudly on the cement of the driveway. 

“Shhh,” she whispered when Rowan’s shoes scuffed at the pavement. “We don’t want to wake my lovely roommate.” 

He chuckled, the deep rumble setting her nerves alight. “I dunno, Ae. What about payback for all the times she and Lor have woken you up?” 

“I knew there was a reason I liked you.” She flashed him a wicked, conspiratorial grin. “C’mon.” Swiftly, she unlocked the door, let herself and Rowan into the house, locked up, and led him upstairs. 

“I like your room,” he murmured, his hands coming to rest hot and heavy against her waist. 

She smirked up at him and slid one of the straps of her dress off her shoulder. “I like you being in my room.” Fueled partially by liquid courage and partially by some inexplicable spark burning between the two of them, she closed the gap between them and pressed her lips to his. 

He melted into the kiss, shifting his hands down to her hips and hoisting her effortlessly into his arms. “Aelin,” he groaned as he pulled back for breath. 

“Rowan,” she whispered back. Trust glimmered deep in her eyes. “Kiss me again.” 

“I might not be able to stop if I do that,” he murmured. 

She carded her fingers through his hair. “I don’t want you to stop.” 

He caught a sharp breath and tipped his lips down to hers, stopping barely centimeters away. “Are you sure?” 

“I’m sure.” It was a near-desperate breath. 

“Good.” Rowan kissed Aelin again, completely banishing the faint traces of Chaol’s pathetic kiss attempt from her mind. 

And they spent the rest of the night making Aelin’s bed creak and squeal so loudly that Elide wore her earplugs downstairs to breakfast the next morning.

[illyrian-dreamer]

TOG SPOILERS!!!

I just finished Empire of Storms, and oblivious me didn’t realise Tower of Dawn is ONLY about Chaol and Nesryn 🙃

I can’t read a whole 600+ pages without my Elide and Lorcan, I just can’t. Not without my fire heart and grumpy hawk and sexy prince and sexier queen of the crochans and other sexy cadre and a snow leopard and hunky Aedon. I just can’t 🥲

So, please in your honest opinion…. Can I skip straight to Kingdom of Ash? Can I cheat the system?

Tell me your honest thoughts. They just took my Aelin away in a coffin and I feel like she’s stuck in there until I can read her out of it 😭😭😭

IT IS PAINFUL TO BE A SARAH J MAAS STAN, PAIN I TELL YOU

[witchthewriter]

𝕾𝖍𝖎𝖕 𝖋𝖔𝖗 @aubrobrewhaha.

𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐆𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐒

𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

𝑰 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝑭𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒚𝒔! You have such a soft nature; patient, gentle, I think Fenrys would melt at your feet just to feel your hand on his cheek. You two wouldn't be an unlikely couple - Fenrys definitely has a gentle side, he just hides his vulnerability with jokes. And you'd see right through it.

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒂𝒃𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚/𝒑𝒐𝒘����𝒓

Light.

Not the same as fire, but similar to that of sunshine or a star; when your power is at full strength, you glow (can glow so bright it incinerates anyone you want around you). Your eyes can turn white when using your power, as well as defying gravity.

Your skin always looks like you're wearing glitter or some type of shimmer, but you were born that way.

𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔

When the mate bond snapped into place, he was on emissary duty. You being a princess of a royal who had came to Aelin's aid. Fenrys was sent to give personal thanks on Queen Aelin's behalf.

It happened as soon as you laid eyes on each other; Fenrys' nostrils flaring, eyes widening and eyebrows lifting. You were the first person he shook hands with, his eyes boring into your own. It felt like something had filled inside of you; a bone, or an emotion you didn't know had been in a state of dismay. Now it was ... healed. And you felt elated.

Without a doubt he would shift into his wolf form and beckon you to frolic in a goddamn field. His wolfy tongue hanging out of his mouth, bouncing up and down with his head turned to look behind you.

Fenrys' pet names for you are: "starlight" (obviously inspired by your powers but also because you're his guiding star admist the darkness), "my princess," or alternatively just "princess" and "sunshine."

Fenrys is always over the top whenever you hurt yourself/are hurt. Even if it's just a papercut, he's rushing around trying to find something to cover it. Giving it a kiss better (always gives your covered 'wound' a kiss).

His mouth was literally agape when he first saw your powers. Wide-eyed, shocked, amazed, in love. Thought (and continue to thinks) you're the most beautiful thing in the world. Too precious.

When he first introduced you to Aelin, he was he like "look it. look at my mate. perfect. just perfect. i get to keep :')"

Squeezes your cheeks, kisses your palms, scratches your scalp, hugs you from behind, wants to pick you up all the time but you bat his hands away because he's still trying to when others are around!

Takes him a long time to open up about his brother and his past. You'd might even ask Aelin about it and she would only tell you some things but ultimately it would be up to Fenrys.

Before you, when he'd have nightmares he would change into his wolf form. However, since finding you, his mate, nightmares don't happen so often. But when they do, he subconciously curls into you, letting your light seep into him like a protective bubble.

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

Sunshine Of Your Love by Cream

Do It by Chloe x Halle (this song is the one where you & fenrys would absolutely lose it to, like both of you just dancing like no one is watching - when in fact everyone is watching...)

Work Song by Hozier

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔

Madly In Love (Fenrys) x Ridiculously Oblivious (You)

Constantly Trying To Make You Blush In Public (Fenrys) x Worked At First But Now You're Used To It (You)

Malewife x Girlboss

𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆

Intertwined Destinies

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖

Fenrys loves that you know how to calm people down, you make people feel at ease, you're a soothing presence. Fenrys adores how much empathy you have for others, it shows how strong you are; your willingness to open your heart.

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅

Okay so everyone would absolutely adore you, but Yrene would connect with you wholeheartedly. You both have very similar personalities, would be on the same page/wavelength and just understand each other more than anyone else would (besides your mates).

𝑾𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆

A mix of Yrene, Elide and Gavriel. Selfless, intelligent, kind, wise, gentle, slow to anger, yet passionate and don't take shit from anyone.

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒆𝒕

There's a tradition in your royal fae family, of finding your familiar when you come of age. They're to help you with the responsibility of making decisions and thinking of your actions vs consequences.

Your familiar came in the animal of an owl; smaller than the usual but no less wise. Although, she is much more playful. Usually she sits on your shoulder, flies around your head or goes back home to rest.

When you need her, all you need to do is pull on that invisible tether inside yourself and she's there in an instant.

𝐀𝐂𝐎𝐓𝐀𝐑

𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

𝑰 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝑳𝒖𝒄𝒊𝒆𝒏 𝑽𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒂! Like the other fae I've shipped you with, Luc teeters on the edge of witty banter and sarcasm that's used as a mask to hide his trauma/pain. With you he can be as serious or unserious as he wants, knowing you won't judge him.

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒂𝒃𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚/𝒑𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓

Growth/Healing.

Whether it's closing wounds or regrowing dying flowers, the love and compassion from your heart made the cauldron decide easily on your ability. Some see you as a medic, as you're able to find the source of the pain if someone is ill. It's a big responsibility and you're constantly needed.

𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔

Kept his sarcastic wall up with you even after he found out you were mates. It wasn't until a month later, when you held your hand so gently to his face that he crumbled under your touch. You told him he did not need to keep up the charade with you.

Not only do your powers heal, but you know a lot about herbs and ointments as well. Your family (who have lived in the Dawn Court for generations) are well-known for their healing. Even Thesan, the High Lord, bestowed a title to your family.

This title meant your family held influence. Not a lot, but enough that respect was given wherever you went. And that's how you met Lucien - Rhysand had asked if one of your family members (which ended up being you) would come and teach Feyre how to heal.

Since Lucien often visited the Night Court, it was no coincidence that you bumped into each other. Literally. Which is ironic since you both possess fae abilities - but your minds were so focused on what lay ahead in the Night Court.

Helping you up, it wasn't until your hands touched, then eyes met that the mating bond snapped into place. Like a tight tether around your very soul, it became hard to breathe when he let go of your hand.

Lucien told Feyre (his main reason in being there) and she gave him pretend orders so that he had to stay.

Lucien is constantly scared that something is going to happen to you. The trauma from his father and what he did to his former lover still hangs over his head like an axe waiting to fall.

Not a lot of people know this, but Lucien has a lot of anxiety. He keeps it hidden but because of the bond (and the fact that you both accepted the bond) you can feel what he feels. And one of your best traits is being able to calm unnerved beings.

Many, many forehead touches. Even though Lucien is quite taller than you, he leans down so he can kiss your nose and touch your forehead with his.

Would definitely move to the Dawn Court to be with you and your family if that's what you wished.

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

Into My Arms by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

Nad Dunaem by DakhaBrakha

The Less I Know The Better by the Midnite String Quartet

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔

"Hey can I have a…" (You) x "Yes. Whatever it is. Yes." (Lucien)

“I care about you!” (You) x “You shouldn’t!” (Lucien)

Sweetest Person On Earth (You) x Their Protector (Lucien)

𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆

Timeless Love

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖

Your very being. You helped Lucien re-discover his self worth, his confidence (which he didn't have to fake anymore) and brought him out of the darkness. He no longer felt lost.

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅

The High Lady herself, Feyre! While teaching her, you two grew a close bond. And although she loved her Inner Circle, it was nice to talk to someone different, someone who she had to learn to trust.

𝑾𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆

A mix of all three Archeron sisters. Hear me out; Nesta's take no shit attitude and fierceness, Elain's gentle nature and love for the natural world and Feyre, who can shoulder responsibility and wants to help others.

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒆𝒕

Found hurt with a broken leg, you couldn't let the poor thing suffer. It wasn't in your nature, even if you didn't have healing as your gift. Once the cat was fully healed, his eyes turned to you and he grinned.

"Thank you," he said. Turning from a cat into a large pantheresque looking creature. Horns protruding from his head, teeth sharpening and claws growing.

And yet, you weren't scared. He knew you weren't.

"I owe you a life debt," he uttered, head bowing.

"Oh no you really don't!" You insisted, waving your hands in a 'no' motion.

But after a few minutes of silence, he replied, "well, after you. Now where you go, I go. And if you prefer my other form... I can do that as well."

(Lucien nearly died from a heart attack when he first met the creature.)

𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐂𝐈𝐓𝐘

𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

𝑰 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝑹𝒖𝒉𝒏 𝑫𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂𝒏! Handsome, funny and sarcastic; he would protect you with his life - he would kill and die for you. Well ... there's nothing he wouldn't do for you.

With a mix of humour yet overwhelming care tucked behind his mask of intimdation; it was a surprise when you two found out you were mates.

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒂𝒃𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚/𝒑𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓

Elemental ability: Water.

As a half Mer, with your other half being Fae, you have an afinity for water magic. Although you cannot turn into a Mer, you can hold your breath under water for a long, long time. It isn't just ocean, lake or river water you can control, but most liquids. However, your magic is strongest when the liquid is pure water.

𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔

Thought you were a goddess the first time he saw you; the way the sun shone down upon your face as you stood on the beach. Water drifting up your legs, swirling around your body; like a blue snake winding around you.

You didn't care that your dress was soaking, or that people were watching. You just needed to feel the water on your skin. It was like re-energising yourself whenever you touched water. Especially when it was the ocean. The place that your mother was from, the place that you had been birthed.

Visiting the water was a common occurance for you. It helped calm you, bring you back to reality when your mind was playing tricks.

Your first kiss with Ruhn was at night, in the water. Droplets ran down his tanned face, his hair pushed back, lips wet. You hadn't thought you would ever find your mate. Let alone a Prince. A rebel prince who was covered in tattoos, looked scary but had a goddamn heart of gold.

Physical affection is a big factor in your relationship. Ruhn yearns for it. For many years he was touch-starved. Aching for a kind hand, a soft hug; someone he knew would never hurt him.

And having you now, he would endure everything all over again. Knowing he would have you.

He's very good at braiding hair; used to braid Bryce's when she was a little girl. He let her paint his nails and colour in his tattoos. He loved being a big brother.

Loves snuggling up with you on the couch; well, it's actually him laying on top of you, his head on your chest as you watch a reality show.

You don't have a lot of arguements. But when you do, it's mostly about your safety or his. You want to help him but he wants you to be safe, to never get hurt. Because if he lost you, he would be lost too.

WOULD 100% TATTOO YOUR NAME ON HIS HEART AND HAVE A TATTOO BAND ON HIS RING FINGER.

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

Eat Your Young by Hozier

Fire In The Water by Feist

R U Mine by Arctic Monkeys

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔

Looks Like A Jerk But Has A Heart Of Gold (Ruhn) x Looks Like A Cinnamon Roll But Is Also A Badass (You)

Sun (You) x Moon (Ruhn)

Always Hold Grudges (Ruhn) x Forgives Too Easily (You)

𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆

Found Family

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖

Your passion. With your Virgo Sun (ambition, determination, hard-working nature, practicality) and your Aries Moon (fierceness, independence, relentlessness) AND your Leo Rising! (warmness, friendliness, compassion, enthusiasm) you are a leader of change and possibilities.

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅

Bryce would would probably fall in love with you a little. I will not lie. Maybe it's because you have similar placements, or she loves how compassionate and fierce you are, she cannot deny that you just might be her platonic soulmate (which hurts her a little because that's how she thought of Danika).

𝑾𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆

A mix (I'm sorry it's always a mix!) of Juniper, Bryce, and Danika. Almost like a softer version of Bryce? You have such a healing energy, like you could calm absolutely anyone down. Defuse a fight, relieve stress but also be a leader of an army?

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒆𝒕

A beautiful sea creature called a Hippocampus. She resembles a horse mixed with a fish and is absolutely obsessed with you.

Well, as are you, since you grew up together. It was a rare coincidence for a mer-child to be born at the exact moment as another sea creature ...

[lucien-calore]

reasons why i know think chaol westfall is autistic, by an autistic person

he likes routine and sticks to what he knows, what he's familiar with, i.e. going on morning runs with celaena at the same time every day and still believing magic is bad because he was told that his whole life and he never had any reason to doubt that. which is why he acts the way he does with aelin once she comes back. he had known celaena, he was familiar with her and she comes back as a completely different person and he's rightfully confused as to why she's acting so differently.

he has intense respect for authority and never questions it, which is a very common trait in autistic people. which is why he never questioned the king.

he has trouble reading social cues and understanding his own feelings (lack of self awareness)

he finds it very hard to make friends and interact with people he doesn't know well

he can appear cold and distant and has a rbf (but he actually doesn't make facial expressions because he's autistic)

he sees the world as very black and white and he doesn't really think of all the different shades of grey because to him either something is good, or it isn't and he doesn't understand nuances which can make him appear close minded

he's very observant and detail oriented but he can't understand and interpret what he observes, which can make him seem oblivious at times

he has a hyperfixation on celaena at first but then it becomes dorian, which can make him seem too intense

he also has a hyperfixation on his role as captain of the guard, he learns everything he can and dedicates all his time to it

he has a hard time regulating his emotions, which makes it seem like he has an attitude problem

anyways, that's all

i hope you enjoyed and if you wanna talk more about this, please don't hesitate to send me a dm 🫶🫶

[mariaofdoranelle]

Look at Us Now - ch. 15

Fic masterlist

This is the last flashback😭😭 I’m emotional

Warnings: language, postpartum depression

Words: 3,3k

Aelin’s legs were burning. All of her muscles felt heavy, which didn’t help her back pain, and with a blurred vision and dulled senses, she kept gently bouncing on that yoga ball. And bouncing. And bouncing. Aelin had no idea for how long she had been doing this, but it was the only way Maisie would stop crying.

Looking around, the white walls of her new home were bare, no watch in sight. There was a TV, but Aelin was so stressed she might throw the remote against the screen. With her phone in her bedroom, the only thing she could do was look at Maisie and keep bouncing on that yoga ball.

Her baby looked blissful as ever, letting little squeals of delight when Aelin would get particularly anguished and push her legs harder than needed. It only made her feel worse.

Maisie. Her daughter’s toothless grins didn’t always make her feel rewarded, sometimes they felt more like a reminder of how oblivious her baby was to the disaster that was Aelin’s attempts at being a proper mother.

Aelin couldn’t quite swallow the lump in her throat, so it came back as tears streaming down her face, her heart constricting and bleeding as she wondered why. Why couldn’t she just muscle through this? Why did she flinch every time her baby began to cry? Why couldn’t she stop thinking about herself, her feelings and her fatigue when Aelin vowed to put Maisie first when she found out about the pregnancy?

She wiped away the mix of tears and sweat from her face, her sore legs now trembling. Aelin was a doctor, she knew what was about to happen. Her muscles were giving out, but she wouldn’t.

Maisie was a colicky baby, she’d recently found out. Hours of bouncing on a yoga ball was better than hours of listening to her scream bloody murder for no reason.

Aelin strained her legs harder, groaning through the pain. She saw Dr. Blackbeak recently, who confirmed her postpartum depression and told her to find time to put herself first, get a support system. That sounded like a joke now.

She muffled her screams with her forearm, her muscles feeling like they were being ripped to shreds. Aelin would’ve fallen on the floor if she hadn’t been at an arm’s length from the couch, but she dragged herself out of the yoga ball and laid on the couch.

Maisie’s first wail came the second Aelin stopped bouncing.

She shushed and soothed her daughter, but the longer she stayed away from the yoga ball, the louder those screams got, making Aelin wonder how her ears weren’t bleeding yet.

Her legs had rested for what? Thirty seconds? More than enough. God, she wished someone would’ve told her having a baby was harder than military training. When Aelin was getting out of the couch to get back to that damned yoga ball. She heard a car pulling up in the garage. Her shoulders immediately dropped, some tension in her body immediately being released. Rowan was here.

Except that when the door was opened, the person that came through it was Dorian Havilliard.

She frowned. “What are you doing here?”

He pointed at her crying baby. “What’s wrong with that thing?”

Aelin’s eyes darted between Maisie and a very relaxed Dorian, an idea perking her up. She pointed at the yoga ball. “Can you sit on that thing for me?”

“What?”

“Sit on that thing now!” Aelin snapped, out-screaming Maisie.

Dorian ran towards it, his hand up in surrender. When he held the baby and bounced on the ball under his friend’s commands, the silence coming from Maisie was music to Aelin’s ears. She closed her eyes and let her muscles melt into the couch.

“Thank you,” Aelin told her friend, as earnest one could get. Still, despite her legs’ protests, she got up to get her phone.

She’d been debating for days if she’d use Dr. Blackbeak’s prescription, but the yoga ball was her last straw. If she couldn’t produce serotonin enough to go through her day, those synthetic doses would have to do.

“Where are you going?” Dorian asked.

“Getting my phone. I need to buy some meds.”

“Stay down.” He pointed at the couch, and took his phone out of his pocket without letting Maisie make a fuss. ”Here, take mine.”

In a matter of minutes, Aelin downloaded her online prescription in Dorian’s phone and ordered just the antidepressant to be delivered. She had two prescriptions, but the sleeping pills would require her to stop breastfeeding, and Aelin wasn’t ready for that yet.

“She’s asleep,” he announced, “can I sit on the couch too now?”

“No, keep bouncing.”

He frowned. “But my back hurts.”

“Good thing you’re an ortho.”

Dorian rolled his eyes, but complied. When he unlocked his phone, his eyebrows went up for a second, but he quickly forced his face back into neutrality. “I thought you’d stopped taking these.”

“So did I.” Aelin swallowed, her chest tightening to think of all the hard work she did to send her depression into remission, vanished. Dorian didn’t know details or the extent of her disorder, he just saw medication boxes and likely took his conclusions, until they weren’t there anymore. She never felt like telling, and he never asked.

In an attempt to stop Dorian from asking further questions, she took a—finally—asleep Maisie from his arms and placed her on the little bassinet that stayed wherever in the house Aelin was. In this case, the living room.

Still, her friend’s eyes never left Aelin. He had that little crease between his brows and a determined look in his eyes, a telltale sign of how much the engines in his mind were working, and Aelin just wanted to evaporate and leave his scrutinizing gaze.

Truth was, Dorian is so smart it’s annoying, and it’s not hard to piece together why a woman with a history of depression is buying antidepressants two months after giving birth.

“She’s got quite the lungs, huh?” Her friend’s voice was soft.

Aelin gave him a sidelong glance. “You haven’t seen half of it.”

He snorted, but his mood sobered before he asked, “And what about Hot Lieutenant?”

“He‘s a really good dad, and he helps me take a break at night and most weekends. He's been getting shitty work schedules ever since horny jail, though.”

”And when he isn’t here?”

Aelin smiled at her baby, and wiggled her fingers against her little tummy, careful enough to not wake her up. “Then Maisy Daisy and I have some girl time together.”

“Ouch.” Dorian pressed a hand to his chest in mock-offense. “And you didn’t invite me?”

“No, and here you are,” Aelin joked about the fact that he—thankfully—showed up at her house uninvited today.

“Yeah.” He stole a glance her way, his eyes tentative. “And I was wondering if you and Hot Lieutenant wouldn’t mind seeing me more often.”

Aelin frowned, her attention fully on Dorian this time. “What do you mean?

“You know I almost only work in the mornings so I can focus on the gym, but I clearly don’t need it since…” he gestured towards the yoga ball. “Your daughter’s a little personal trainer.”

She froze, already knowing where he was getting to. “Dorian, you don’t have to—“

He held a finger up. “I won’t even ask why you refuse to hire a nanny—“

”Rowan and I decided it’s too soon to trust a stranger—“

“Then let me help!” Dorian interrupted, his voice a little higher than what was safe in a place with a sleeping baby. “Look, Aelin, this isn’t about me or you.” His face kept serious, but his eyes had a playful glint now. “Every kid deserves a rich, gay uncle. And I need to step up to unclehood.”

Chuckling, Aelin bowed her head, running a rand through it when she sat on the couch. “Can you even change a diaper?”

“No.”

She looked up at him with raised eyebrows. “Can you burp her?”

“I can do a Heimlich Maneuver, treat infant musculoskeletal conditions and bounce on the yoga ball.”

Aelin threw her head back and cackled. “Perfect. You’re hired.”

“Yes!” Dorian did a fist pump. “Just talk to that broody baby daddy of yours, okay?” He hummed. “Maybe he’ll even like me after he sees what a perfectly good uncle I am.”

Yeah, that might be a problem, but she didn’t care. Rowan didn’t want somebody they didn’t trust with Maisie, but Aelin trusted Dorian. A lot. And the fact that he’s her ex became insignificant considering that Rowan made it very clear he isn’t romantically interested in her. Which was still a punch to the gut, but Aelin had bigger things going on.

“He likes you,” she lied, “he’s just… Rowan.”

Dorian pressed his lips together, trying to keep a straight face. “He looks at me as if the law is the only thing keeping me alive.”

Aelin chuckled, leaning into him. “I’ll talk to him. When can you come?”

He hummed, putting a thumb up to start finger-counting. “I have my job at the clinic in the mornings.” Another finger up. “Then I’ll get to my second job as a nanny in the afternoons.” A third finger up. “And my third, nightly job is to do very dirty things to your neighbor down the street. Rinse and repeat.”

“Gross. How’s Fenrys?”

“Good. He misses living with Rowan.” Dorian’s eyes were soft while he talked about his situationship, before he sent her a puzzled look. “How’s your lunch situation?”

”Rowan preps everything, don’t worry about it.”

“Are you sure?” Dorian put an arm around her and slid his other hand in the air in front of them, as in a movie character showing another a new, magical world. “Because there’s this new restaurant in front of the clinic, it’s to die for. I could bring us risottos and—“

Dorian was interrupted by the sound of the doorknob turning, and Aelin would easily get distracted by the sight of Rowan in a uniform if he didn’t look so pissed.

He eyed his daughter asleep and quietly closed the door, but the coldness in his eyes told her everything he was feeling.

Rowan held a plastic pharmacy bag towards Dorian. “The delivery guy gave me this.”

“Oh.” Feeling her face heat, Aelin got up, very aware of Rowan’s eyes on her shoulder, where Dorian’s arm was. “This is mine.”

“I should go,” her friend’s voice was low and tight as he took a step away from her.

“Yeah.” Aelin sent him a weak smile. “Rowan and I should talk. Talk to you later?”

“Um.” Dorian’s eyes landed on Maisie, his hand scratching the back of his head. “Do you want me to watch her while you talk?”

“I can take care of my own baby, thank you.” Rowan’s tone was taut, he was barely able to hide his annoyance.

“Yeah, of course.” Dorian took a step back, one hand on the doorknob. “See ya.”

The second that door was closed, Aelin took Rowan’s wrist and led him to the kitchen, away from their sleeping baby. Her body was heated with anger, the hateful tone he used with Dorian ringing inside her head.

“Why would you talk to him like that?” She shouted after closing the kitchen door. ”He’ll never want to come here if you act like this.”

Rowan shrugged. “I’m fine with that.”

“I’m not! Look…” Aelin rubbed both hands against her face and sat down, gesturing to Rowan to do the same. “Dorian offered extra help with Maisie in the afternoons. I said yes.”

His face fell. “He did what?”

Aelin took a second to calm the roaring in her blood and tone down her voice. “Look, I knew you weren’t gonna like it, but guess what, I don’t like needing help either. I asked for it before, you said no because you need someone you trust. Now I found—“

“A person I trust even less than a stranger, that’s what you found.”

“Because you never got to know him!” Aelin got up from her seat, her tone turning more into a plea. “I trust him, and you should trust me on that.”

“No.” He took a deep breath, got up too and looked straight into Aelin’s eye. “I don’t know him, or his intentions, and I can’t have him here in the long term.” Rowan’s voice was getting higher by the second. “It’s day one and I already got home to find his arm wrapped around my…”

”Your what?” Aelin challenged, closed fists on her hips as she kept her chin high. “You made it very clear I’m not your wife, not your girlfriend, not even your situationship. Why do you care?”

He didn’t reply, just stood with a pained look, his jaw twitching as she watched a million different emotions she couldn’t decipher from his eyes only.

“Rowan, look.” She got closer and held his hand with both of hers. “The only reason Dorian and I started dating was because our difficult schedules were very similar during residency. It was easy, it was fun, it was comfortable, but it was never that serious.” She caressed his cheek with her thumb, her eyes soft and earnest. “And even if we were dating when I got pregnant, I never, ever, wished he was Maisie’s father instead of you.”

“I’m sorry, Aelin, I can’t do this.” His body felt heavy when he hung his head against her shoulder. “I can’t watch him play house with you and my daughter while I’m at work.”

”Shh, it’s okay,” she soothed, running her fingers on his head now that he looked particularly wrecked. This was just one possible solution to a bigger problem which she couldn’t postpone the solution anymore. “But there’s one more thing I wanted to talk to you about.”

They both sat back down facing each other, and Aelin took a moment to herself, her heart racing. Her family and Dorian knew bits and pieces of her depression disorder because they either witnessed her episodes or saw the pills scattered around her bedroom. Aelin wasn’t ashamed of her condition, it just never felt necessary to give anyone a full disclosure of her mental illness. Until today.

“The pills I bought today. They’re antidepressants.”

Aelin’s insides were too twitchy, her breath too shallow as Rowan slid the chair backwards, its scraping sound strident against the floor.

“Did he tell you to take them?”

Her insides fell to the bottom of her stomach. “What?”

Rowan slammed his fist against the table, his expression as tight as his face was red. “Those pills were under Dorian’s name. Everything was fine, and after one visit, you have depression and need him back into your life to take care of you. Can’t you see what’s going on?”

“Rowan, I’m trying to tell you something,” Aelin begged, her voice breaking.

”And I’m trying to tell another.” He put both hands on the table and looked deep into her eyes. “You. Are. Not. Depressed.” Rowan took a step back. “You’re not,” he repeated with dazed eyes, as if he was saying that to himself. “We’re happy. You’re just a little overwhelmed, but we’re a small, happy family.”

Aelin opened and closed her mouth, struggling to find words. All she knew was that sinking feeling in her stomach and the sudden numbness she felt.

She was taking baby steps into the water to know if the water’s cold, and it’s fucking freezing. Time to take a step back, rethink.

“Okay…” she trailed, her eyebrows pinching together. “How would you feel if I actually needed the pills?”

“You don’t…” Rowan blinked, his eyes distant. “I mean, can you even breastfeed when you take these?”

“Oh!” Aelin barked a sardonic laugh, all that ache in her chest turning into something deeper, much more sour. “I’ve been telling you I’m miserable for weeks, and that’s your first concern? My ability to breastfeed Maisie?”

Rowan blinked, his mouth hanging open for a second. “Of course I’m concerned about that,” he fumbled, “why wouldn’t I be concerned?”

“Because I matter too!” Aelin roared, and all the strength in her body left with her words, ripping through her aching throat to taint the entire house with the rage and despair she’d buried for so long.

She fell back to that chair, both hands on her face as she broke in sobs. Aelin couldn’t even take a deep breath, since the air came to her lungs in short, shaky shudders and her shoulders barely held her weight.

Rowan kneeled next to her, hugging her frame. “You do.”

But Aelin couldn’t stop thinking about his denial of her problem. She knew all about the stigma surrounding postpartum depression. What would he think?

”You do.” He kissed the side of her head one, two times. “You matter so much to me.”

Would Rowan trust her with Maisie after knowing about her diagnosis? How would she convince him she’s a good mother when most days she didn’t believe it herself?

”I’m sorry.” Rowan kissed her shoulder and hugged her tight. “Of course you do.”

Would he use that against her and try to get Maisie’s guard? Would he take her to court if he knew her mental illness was chronic, not only while Maisie is a baby?

Aelin’s first step into her own recovery was to back down.

“That’s okay. I don’t think I’ll take the pills anyway,” she lied while leaning away to caress his cheeks. “The doctor gave me the prescription in case my… baby blues got too bad, but you’re right. I don’t think I need them.”

“Thank you.” Still kneeling beside her, Rowan closed his eyes, leaned his forehead against her shoulder and released a shaky breath. “It was just a bad day, right?”

“Sure.” Aelin’s throat felt sore and thick, almost as if her own body was trying to stop her, but she managed, “Can I ask you just one more thing?”

He got up, sat on the chair next to hers and squeezed her hand. “Anything.”

Aelin felt like her heart was being ripped to shreds, but she needed to do this.

Rowan wouldn’t understand her mental illness. Rowan wouldn’t let her get extra help. Rowan wouldn’t be anything more than a platonic co-parent to her. She was letting herself be in this state for what? Pining over a man who was going to play house with her until he found some unbroken woman to replace Aelin with?

“I need you to leave.”

“Sure.” He got up, looking around the kitchen. “I need to do some groceries, do you want me to take Maisie? We—“

“Rowan,” she interrupted, “we’ve been co-parenting Maisie together in this house, right?”

He nodded, looking confused.

“Well, I need us to do this with some distance now.” Aelin’s voice was breaking, a few rogue tears streaming down her face again.

”Oh.” He took a step back, his expression blank. “You want me leave, leave.”

Her eyes were pleading as she explained, “We both agreed this living arrangement was temporary, and—“

“You’re kicking me out?” His tone was high-pitched around an incredulous laugh.

Aelin tilted her head, lips wobbling. “I’m sorry.”

“Why? Will you—“ he trailed, looking around her kitchen as if he was looking for answers. “Will you feel better if I leave?”

Aelin swallowed the lump in her throat. “Yes.”

Rowan went stiff, staring with a lost look, blinking aimlessly at her until something shifted. He nodded, agreeing with her terms. In a matter of seconds, all the tenderness in Rowan’s eyes froze into cold fury, and Aelin had a feeling it’d never melt back to what it was again.

A/N: I felt like a part of me was being ripped off when I was finishing this chapter and it’s only the end of the flashbacks omfg I’m so not ready to finish this fic

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[shadowdaddies]

May you please write Manon x sunshine girl reader where she begs Manon to take her with her to one of her meetings in terrasen maybe and Manon eventually says yes and the whole time they are in the meeting Manon has her on her lap and def glares at anyone who looks too long lollol

Literally everyone (Aelin, Rowan, Dorian etc.) is like shocked because they didn’t know Manon has a mate and how this ray of sunshine is with a whole man eater lolol

this is such a cute prompt 💜 love Manon with a sunshine gf

Golden

Manon x Reader fluff

“Love, would you please let me join you in this meeting?” you pleaded, tugging Manon closer by her hands, giving her your best doe eyes as you batted your lashes at her.

With a wry smirk, Manon brought a hand to your hair, running her fingers through as she moved to cup your cheek. “Why would you want to go? I don’t even want to go. It’ll be boring political talk-“ she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Gods, it’s stressing me out just thinking about it.”

Pulling her hand away from her face, you smiled brightly, rocking back and forth on your heels in eagerness. “Exactly! But I can be there to make it less terrible. And I’m happy to go wherever you go,” you murmured, twining your fingers with hers as you leaned close, lips almost brushing.

“That does make for a tempting offer,” she murmured, golden eyes shimmering as she leaned forward, lips brushing against yours tenderly. 

You followed Manon down the hall of the castle towards the room where the meeting was being held, rushing forward to take her hand in yours, rubbing your thumb against her skin in comfort. The beautiful witch maintained a stern expression, but you felt her muscles relax under your touch as the two of you entered the room.

Four heads turned towards you, all of them standing around the table. Each of them wore curious expressions, and you watched as the striking blonde’s turquoise eyes flicked down to your joined hands, an amused smile on her full lips. Her eyes slid to Manon, grin broadening into something mischievous.

“Manon,” she purred. “I don’t believe I’ve met your friend.” Manon sighed, rolling her eyes as she gestured towards the people around you.

First indicating towards the blonde, Manon drawled, “this is Aelin, her husband, Rowan,” and turning towards the two men next to them, she continued, “and this is Dorian and Fenrys.” 

Dorian reached out a hand towards you, but you ignored it as you charged at him, wrapping your arms around the man in a warm hug. “I’ve heard so much about all of you! It’s so lovely to finally meet you!” you gushed, hugging each of them, oblivious to their shock and amusement.

“Alright, let’s get this over with,” Manon interrupted, prompting everyone to take their seats. Pulling out her seat, you instinctively took a spot on her lap, curling your legs up as you wrapped your arms around her neck. 

Resting your head against her chest, you listened quietly as the Erilean rulers discussed politics and trade. You couldn’t help your proud smile as Manon spoke, the sheer authority she exuded. Absentmindedly, you braided her long white hair, admiring her beauty and the soothing timber of her voice as she spoke. 

You’d nearly drifted off to sleep when something bumped against your foot, rousing you from your half-wake state. Looking down, you saw a dog with golden fur and caramel eyes staring up at you. 

“Oh, aren’t you beautiful!” you cooed, jumping to the floor as you petted the pup, giggling as she licked your face. 

“That’s Fleetfoot,” Aelin spoke, a fond smile on her features as she watched the dog lean its head against your shoulder, nudging you in request for more scratches. 

“Fleetfoot, what a sweetheart,” you murmured, letting the dog rest her head in your lap as you continued showing her love. 

“She doesn’t usually take to strangers so quickly,” Rowan noted, Aelin nodding in agreement. 

“It seems like you have a talent for earning affection from... those less inclined to affection,” Fenrys teased, throwing you a wink as Manon glared at him. 

“I’ve had enough of all of you for tonight,” Manon grumbled, standing up from her seat as she reached for your hand. You took hold of hers, leaning into the witch’s side as you bid the others a good night.

“Your friends are so lovely, Manon! We should get a dog,” you noted, practically skipping down the hall back towards your shared bedroom.

“They are not my friends. And we already have Abraxos,” Manon retorted. 

You scoffed, rolling your eyes as you flashed her a playful grin. “Sure, those aren’t your friends,” you said in a sarcastic tone. “I had a wonderful time. Thank you for letting me join you,” you continued, eyes turning soft as you became more serious.

Manon stopped, pulling you to her as her hands threaded in your hair. “Thank you, for being there for me. I love you,” she whispered, leaning down as she began peppering kissed along your jaw, down your neck.

A whimper escaped you, the need to have her alone suddenly the only thing on your mind. Breathlessly, you tugged her away only to pull her along with you down the hall. “Let’s go back to the room and I’ll show you just how much I love you, too.”

[theladyofbloodshed]

SJM is a feminist qwueen.

Elain is Elain felt wrong at so many levels. Couldn’t understand why. But here’s my reason for hating it.

Elain is Elain means that Elain is not much. Not worth considering a threat or an opportunity. Not a villian, not a hero, not useful, just not much. Why would that be? What’s different? Nesta and Elain are both made by the cauldron. She’s eager to help (in ACOWAR).

She’s not doing what males do in SJM fantasy world. Not swinging a sword (like Aelin and Mor). Not rude and dismissive of authorites (like Feyre in the high lords meetings). She’s being normal and wearing dresses. And that’s completely fine.

But apparently not by SJM, the feminist queen and her fans. Because guess what, that’s not feminism. That’s internalized misogyny. You only like feminist heroines when they do something that males do. How dare she stay in the house and bake? Be queit and proper like a lady. Wear dresses!??? Go put on some fighting leathers and swing a sword. Only then will we value you. We are feminists. Can’t have a girl acting all girly and expect people to think she has some good qualities. Qualities worth appreciation. Nope, we will value you when you fight, put on some muscles and ditch those dresses. And get out of the kitchen!

Until then, Elain is just Elain.

Never tell me that young girls reading this are not getting a bad impression. I saw a 14 year old pick up this book today. SJM and her internalized misogyny, that the fans label as feminism ✨ is going to shape some young minds into believing a lot of fucked up things being right. Forgiving your abuser and sexual assualter (Aelin-Rowan, Feyre- Rhys), mistreating people with trauma (Nesta being locked up) and of course, the smaller problem discussed above. I am not old enough to have children yet, but I regret the fact that I read this crap and I beg all you fans out there to never have your children read this crap. It is honestly surprising that these books have not been deemed inappropriate yet. I have read a lot of dark romance and this is not it. The theme is clear in dark romance. Characters in those books are held accountable for their actions. The constant cycle of making the fans beleive that Rhys, Rowan, Cassian etc. are not wrong and you should want a partner like that..now that is harmful.

P.s. English is my third language. Idk if I made any mistakes, but do let me know if I did so I can take care of it next time.

It was such crap. If Rhys was actually held accountable for his words then yeah, okay, he can say that. But if Feyre ever questions him, it happens once then it's waved away by Rhys. Within a few minutes of meeting the sisters, he dismisses Elain as unimportant and Nesta is Illyrian at heart and he can never forgive her - for something that never ever involved him.

For me, it wasn't really about the fact that Elain is typically more feminine. Beyond the colour of their dresses where Elain favours pink, I'd say Nesta is also very typically feminine (for the time period). She doesn't like pants, her hobby is reading, she was saving herself for marriage. To me, what Rhys said aligned with Feyre's view of Elain from the first book where she said that it wasn't that Elain was being mean and not helping, she just didn't grasp that she might actually get off her ass and help. And Rhys is fine with that. Elain can be oblivious but that's okay and he won't ever push her <3 It's so hard not to compare how Elain and Nesta are treated. Both lived in the cabin. Nesta said mean things, Elain didn't. Nesta helped, Elain didn't.

At the end of it all, these men should stay far away from these women. The men all need therapy and should be taught how to be a better partner <3

p.s. your English is brilliant

[blodgmonster]

ACOWAR reread thoughts.

-- Feyre trashing the Spring Court is always a good time. Take that, Tamlin, you tool.

-- "My sister's are not going."

"You sound just like Tamlin." POP OFF, AMREN

-- love, LOVE the library and Byraxis

-- What is with Mor being so antagonistic toward Nesta? Yeah, Nesta insulted her clothes and has been stand off-ish. But surely a battle hardened warrior can take some sartorial criticism. Feyre theorizes that Mor doesn't like Nesta because she's got this connection with Cassian and if Cassian is a mated male then Mor can't USE him as a buffer between her and Az. And she has been using him for centuries, which is pretty shady. I love Mor but...this is not great behavior.

-- Elain. I'm wondering if she's perhaps autistic. In the first book Feyre mentions that she's oblivious to a lot of social cues. She has a very hard time adapting to change. Regardless, I don't really care about her? I don't dislike her at all, you understand. Nothing against her. But she strikes me as pretty bland. Like a girl I knew in college who was pretty and talented and had wonderful, varied interests, but talking to her was the conversational equivalent of watching paint dry. It's weird. It also bugs me that she never thought to grow vegetables alongside her flower garden when they were STARVING. Or even selling the flowers at market.

-- Feyre is SO right about it being time to take off the masks that the Night Court presents to the world.

-- "if you hadn't stolen my bride away in the night, Rhysand..."

"The sun was shining when I left you." SICK BURN, FEYRE!!!!!

-- "is she a witch?"

"Yes." Nesta, I fucking love you

-- pour one out for the Suriel. You all see the theory that the Suriel is actually Kaltain from TOG?

-- Papa Archeron showing up with the armada always gets me a bit emotional. I too had a disappointing father who would fight to the death for me.

-- And so Amren is the first ACOTAR female character to be nerfed in order to save everyone. She is willing to die when she unleashes herself and destroys Hybern's army. And then she comes back, and I'm so glad she did because her personality is great, but she comes back a normal high fae. Her great and terrible powers gone. Aelin gets nerfed in a horrible way in TOG and Nesta will be nerfed later and it pisses me the fuck off. Why must the powerful female characters (except Feyre, of course) give up their power to save the ones they love? It's not fair.

-- Rhys and Feyre bargaining to die with each other is fucking stupid.

-- all that being said ACOWAR is still my fave of the Feyre trilogy.