#oblicon i hate you

[b1mb0bunny]

why must law be so fucking hard

[cloutchaserkineme]

i hate the only thing i'm good for

February 28, 2024, 8:49 PM in front of a desk on an island (a real one) somewhere

Bad brain moments!

And I know this is a bad brain moment because I think I hate writing! But please bear with me!

I've spent the past two days playing Coral Island instead of writing down my long, lengthy, time-sensitive articles or studying my equally heavy load of readings for three bar subjects.

Turns out, if I had to choose between succumbing to the devil or the deep blue sea, I would rather just log 20+ hours into a farming sim running around making sure my virtual plants are not dying and cleaning up pixel-corals on a screen.

Not very Good Job of me, hence my current emotional situation of sadness and disappointment.

To be fair this is just another cycle of win-big-and-lose-harder. I've had plenty of those since turning 23. This time, I was unable to write about it because I was too busy celebrating the win by redownloading Tiktok and also virtually rummaging through trash for profit and garbage right after the class, but I had a pretty good recit for ObliCon, a subject which I dreaded since it was the biggest bar subject we'd take (5 units!), I'm not very good at numbers, and my classmates are already Certified Public Accountants.

But I got it! I read the case and the book and presented the facts as well as I should but holyyyy shit did I ride that win so hard I crested and fell like a nearsighted kingfisher diving for its own reflection.

I made a very comprehensive reviewer for another subject on Sunday, and that's about it- that same day I attended a work event that I would fail to follow up on for two days, then a testimonial dinner in which I won a codal but didn't get it because I had to go home (because I'm broke and couldn't call a rideshare, and my ride home was also going home early), and then spent the next two days interviewing heavy hitting topics but not making a move to do stuff.

I don't have ADHD, or Executive Dysfunction. Or at least, I haven't been diagnosed for them yet, but if self-diagnosis is enough I just think I'm incredibly lazy and also starting my period.

Which I did, by the way. Right at the tail end of the Full Moon in fucking Virgo- this particular placement by the way HITTING my 10H-4H axis, and also in the middle of a Hellenistic void moon period, so obviously I wasn't getting any work done.

But if astrological terminology is inaccessible to you, that might read like someone making excuses for not working on her stuff and saving her the pain of following up two days later overworked and underpaid.

And you will be right! But that does not make my situation any better. Anyway. Rawr.

(30) 9:02 PM, same place.

[erneeest]

My June (and early July)

I lost access to my Twitter account for changing my birthday to my actual date of birth. Apparently, I made the account when I was only twelve years old, and the user agreement requires users to be at least thirteen.

A couple of weeks ago, I took and passed my retake of the ObliCon finals, and now I have to study for the oral exams. Technically, I haven’t finished my first year of law school. Why do I even have to memorize all these provisions when I can just refer to my copy of the Civil Code when I actually need them?

I’ve also gotten hooked on K-pop music, but I can’t get my head around the fact that the Korean idol industry is gruesome. But I just love Daisy from Momoland and wait till I do what I do hit you with that ddu du ddu du du. I also think BTS is overrated, and I write this statement with all honesty and with the intent to incite war against their fans who hate criticisms.

Today, I tried Iced Caramel Butterscotch, and it is now my official favorite beverage from Cafe de Lipa. This place is definitely better than the nearby Starbucks and CBTL. The lighting makes me feel 20% more gwapo. Highly recommended!

Okay! I think I have procrastinated enough. Time to get back to memorizing the Statute of Frauds.

[mffgeneric]

I hate that I love you

For the past few weeks, I have been inactive in my social media accounts most especially on my Instagram account, to which I am most addicted to.

I tried to convince myself that the reason why I am on hiatus on Instagram is because I consider it as my sacrifice for the final exam week. But I guess it’s not.

I have not captured daily videos of me speaking almost none-sense in front of my phone lately because I feel sad, or just bothered. I don’t know actually.

Will I pass my ObliCon subject? Will I pass my other subjects? What will happen about the issue that keeps bothering me?

I tried to compose myself every time I am faced with different people. I smile, they see the usual me. But whenever I’m alone, I break down, but sometimes I still pretend to be just fine even if I’m just alone. Why? Because I need to. It’s because of the love and support I receive from my dear family and friends. If it weren’t because of them, I could have easily given up Law school and the dream to go beyond and serve the public.

I am certain that my “hiatus week on ig” have something to offer me in the coming days. I should stay optimistic and positive.

“God works in mysterious ways and he knows what’s best for us. Put all your trust in Him, and go with the flow.”

Law school, you are something. I hate that I love you. Please love me back too. Thank you!