#oaeveewacca

[nataliabelok]

DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?????

[nataliabelok]

i translated reverse luin’s voice lines from wacca!!

[nataliabelok]

hello lgbtq community

[nataliabelok]

it is 1:30 am and i am going MENTAL here’s a drabble i wrote about claire before dominion being self destructive because she’s important!!! as previously mentioned, 1:30 am no beta read no grammar grammar and dialogue tags fear me

tw: indirect self-harm and suicide mention

Keep it together. She needs you to be normal. God, why can’t you be normal?Claire stared extra long in the mirror. It had been 1 week since her last “expedition” and she was feeling withdrawn.

She got riskier in her domestic life. “Accidentally” slipping the knife when cutting vegetables, leaving her coat at home in the middle of the winter, running a red light during rush hour. None of it made her feel better because none of it worked. She’d never come home bleeding, or ill, or concussed. It was awful.

At first, it seemed like nobody noticed. Owen was just happy she was home, Maisie was too busy being an angsty teenager, and she didn’t really talk to anyone else. But eventually they found out.

The first time Claire had purposefully gone outside without gloves during the winter. She came back hours later, dazed and confused, fingers stiff. Maisie, the only one home at the time, panicked but tried her best to help her mother. Claire actively tried to resist the warmth being provided.

“Claire, take the heating pad.”

“Don’t worry about it, Maisie. It’s my fault anyways. I was stupid to forget my gloves.”

“I don’t care how stupid you were, I’m not letting your fingers freeze off!”

When Owen came home, they discussed in quiet whispers before he confronted Claire.

“Hey, what happened today?”

“What do you mean?”

“With your hands. Maisie said you were refusing help?”

“Oh, it was really nothing. I don’t know why she made such a big deal about it.”

“Claire, I know what you’re doing. You need to stop.”

“I’m not doing anything. It was a mistake this one time.”

“I don’t know if I believe you.”

She tried to be more secretive the second time. Neither of them had to know that she was driving fairly recklessly. Even if they did, they’d seen it before. It was fine.

Until she came home with a dent in her car, of course. And then it was all over.

“Claire, what happened?”

“I feel like I hear that a lot lately. It’s just a minor accident, I’m not even hurt.”

“That’s the issue, isn’t it?”

“What?” Ah, now he had really caught on.

“God, I’m so worried about you. I leave the house and I worry that I’ll come back and you’ll have killed yourself. And then I’d see you when I die and you’d probably tell me something stupid about it being a mistake.”

“I’m not going to kill myself, Owen.”

“Prove it. Stop doing this to yourself. You suffering isn’t going to fix what’s wrong with the world. It’s just going to make you feel worse.”

“I don’t need to feel better.”

“I know you don’t need it. But you deserve it, because I knew you before any of this happened, and she deserved it too. The only difference between you and her is that she believed it.”

“I’m sorry.” Her voice was quiet and broke halfway through the sentence.

“Don’t be. I know this is hard. You can do it.”

And she did. And to her annoyance, it did make her feel better.

[nataliabelok]

2 nbc’s the endgame posts in the last week what did i do to deserve this

[nataliabelok]

hi, this is my pinned post

my name is lilita (yes, after the carmilla character, i am mentally ill)

i use he/they/she

i am super lesbian very much love everyone who is not man

also super autism

i love natalia belok (if u can’t already tell) i’m sorry for breaking the valena fic streak with elenatalia old women yuri (for the record i wrote both)

xoxo

[nataliabelok]

i just fell to my knees in a walmart parking lot

[nataliabelok]

i think it would be sacrilegious if i didn’t post for natalia’s “birthday” so here’s a fic i wrote okay bye love you

[nataliabelok]

TOMORROW IS THE SPECIAL DAAAAAYYYYY

[nataliabelok]

there’s no way i’m hyperfixated on fucking teen beach movie

i was telling my mom abt it and she was like “this is gonna be your new endgame isn’t it” and i felt true fear for the first time

[nataliabelok]

i am going to lilita morgan post she is everything

[nataliabelok]

guys its almost nbc the endgame anniversary i’m going to lose my shit