#o man i've been gone for fuckin' EVER

[petrichor-reminiscence]

my restoration thots

everything is gonna be under the cut just incase people havent seen it yet, so uh spoiler warning under the cut!

there were a lot of things that bothered me. enough that tbh i don't remember them all, but i wanna start this off with the positives and things i liked ^^

first of all, my favourite thing ever, TEX AND CHURCH FINALLY GOT THE ENDING THEY DESERVED! i actually screamed when caboose brought back tex instead of church actually, and the whole thing also about her being brought back in their memory instead of the directors? their memory of her always kicking their ass and winning and being strong and brave and oaisjdgoasg all of that? screaming actually screaming. and her and church walking away in the memory unit thingy into the distance and jsiogjasdgiojadsgiosdg they got their happy ending that i've always wanted for them and that makes me very happy.

also, the va for caboose, let's talk about him rq. ofc it sounded wrong to me, he wasn't the og caboose, it wasn't joel, but the guy tried his best and i absolutely love that for him. i think he did a pretty good job, especially since the poor guy had 17 fuckin seasons of iconic caboose to live up to so ofc no one is going to actually live up to that. he did pretty damn good and if i see any hate about him i will cry thank you.

now, onto things that i enjoyed kinda but also were just oaijdsgioasdjg ahhhh y'know?

first, sarge's death. ouch. owie ouch ouchies ow. that shit hurt man. i think they did it pretty well though, and the fact that he died protecting a blue?! gave simmons his shotgun and told him he was proud of him?! told grif he never gave up on him even when grif himself had?! oasjdgisadjgs. he's their dad, their dad fr. it broke my fucking heart, but i like how it was handled, i was decently satisfied with it. i like how they buried him back in blood gulch, where it all started. it felt really fitting.

also, the fact that they kept church dead. tbh i'm glad they did. i was thinking with their whole talking about memories around the campfire, like if it were to bring back church, tbh i wouldn't have liked it. his death in 13 wouldn't have been as meaningful, as impactful. plus, them bringing back tex who we haven't really seen since season 10? iconic i loved it they brought my wife back and i loved every fuckin second of it.

next, something i have big big big thoughts on that i don't know how to organise: wash's ptsd and everything. first off, finding out he'd been hallucinating doc the entire time?! fucking OWCHIES :( and like at the end when lina was talking to him and reminding him that these things weren't his fault and how it came across in visions of his other beloved freelancers showing up and talking to him? screaming actually. watching wash and his mental state and how everything unfolded hit particularly close to home for me, as a ptsd-havin bitch myself ^^; the way he was treated like he was fuckin crazy in the hospital made me sick to my stomach, and then finding out oh hey wait he actually is a bit crazy he's hallucinating doc because he blames himself for his death i'm like welp okay that's oaisdjgosadjgoisgj. just seeing how they handled that reminded me so much of things i've gone through myself, and idk if i'd say it was handled well or not but it was certainly handled in a way that's for sure ^^; might just be some of my internal biases because topics like this make me feel sick for personal reasons ofc, but uh yeehaw lol yeehaw.

also, meta tucker. screaming. the flashes of him pulling through while being controlled and him like apologizing to caboose and caboose being like 'i've already forgiven you for whatever you'll do' AOIGSDAIG YEOWZERS :( my brain hurts man. and with sigma too, sadly it wasn't elijah wood, but miles luna did a phenomenal job imo, it really sounded like og sigma to me and had me convinced they got elijah for the final season up until i saw the credits lol. also, the fact that there was such a lack of meta/tucker and wash interactions??? heresy. blasphemy. illegal. i will be beating my head against the wall thank you.

ALSO. LACK OF DONUT WAS FUCKING TRAGIC. but, ADMIRAL donut? proud of our boy for working through the ranks! but i'm so upset we didn't get to see him other than a simmons flashback/vision of him in a fuckin cheerleader outfit - which honestly? iconic. at least we got something.

and the last thought of the post, fuckin grimmons. grif and simmons. i'm gonna put my head through the wall osaidjgsioadjgsdiogjsdag. the way that the first thing simmons did as red team leader was set grif free because he's always known about how much he wanted to leave, 'if you love something let it go' or whatever oiasdgjdsoiagjsd. grif deciding to stay for the fight before heading out, their goodbyes and grif inviting him to visit even though he knows it's probably never going to happen but he had to try anyways, aiojsdgoisjgoisdjg i'm screaming crying throwing up actually. they should've made out though so rip for that missed opportunity :( i enjoyed the moments we got but i also wish we got more if that makes sense, y'know?

anyways that's all i have the mental energy to blab about for now, because oaisdgjodsiag agh y'know? drained from fuckin sobbing so much all day lmao i'm just a lil guy ^^;

might post a pt 2 to this though, copy-pasting the notes i took on my phone like while i was watching lmao. fair warning though it's a MESS because i was typing without looking plus a lot of autocorrect haha. i'll probably post it anyways though because i find it really funny tbh lol

[luci-z-wont-shut-up]

Episode 2

Bro snow in the desert is not actually that wierd

Bro. Bro u srsly need to rethink ur tourism program like what the fuck. FREE RADON FOR EVERYONE

I'm sorry but as soon as he said "it changes colors" I immediately envisioned a fuckin. Caramelldansen cloud XD

OH SO IT KILLS PPL. O K A Y .

Bro if literally Existing in Nightvale is so dangerous, how does the population stay afloat. At all.

Sounds like just a normal day in the post office tbh. Also Racist Magic Guy is starting to grow on me. His oblivious stupidity and self-sure incompetence have captivated me.

Honestly a floating cat in the men's bathroom sounds like the least abnormal thing so far. Cats are just Like That™️.

"This message was brought to you by Coca-Cola" yeah that tracks X'D

"Because all of us are normal" bombastic side eye. Criminal offensive side eye

Ah so the secret Boy Scout cult has finally achieved immorality. Good to know. Just another Tuesday ig. Also d a r k s c o u t XD

WAIT "Sign-up is automatic and random" um wat. Hi what. Does. Does this perchance have anything to do with the Ominous Helicopters

This man has *clearly* never been a father. Or had siblings. Or cousins. Ever. Maybe *don't* bring children near the Caramelldansen Cloud of Carrion?

...oh so they just have straight up dragons. Ok. Dragons who commit insurance fraud? *throws hands up* why not

"McDaniels was pulled over for speeding last night" UM SIR how big was that car?!? Actually ykw nvm it prolly just had a pocket dimension or amthn this is fuckin Nightvale why am I trying to use logic

Okay #1. Secret Dragon Society that's actually Not That Secret is kinda cool, #2. WTF DO YOU MEAN STOP SIGN IMMUNITY. like don't get me wrong I *understand the temptation* but also why would you allow dom3thing so profoundly stupid and unsafe as a r e w a r d for

... for being an Alert Citizen. Ok. Ok I guess I can kinda see where they're coming from. Maybe. [Didn't sleep well last night and I'm tired so sorry if my commentary's getting lackluster]

Also stamp system for being compliant with the secret police. Yeah that's not sus at allllll

Bro I wish I could schedule my workplace to be Unknowable some days. Dot Day sounds... ominous, for a number of reasons but more so their implications than anything actually ominous, yk?

[I need sleep]

Bro I would NOT pay $5 for a music lesson like that, let alone $50

"Bake sale proceeds go to blood space war" okay invader zim

"Wednesday has been cancelled due to a scheduling error" XD honestly w my terrible sense of time that just sounds like a normal thing to me

Tfw a your perfectly good ice cream outing is inturupted by a dead lion dropping from the sky

[Continuing this like 3 weeks l8r so sorry for the Commentary Continuity Disruption Leik Woah]

Uhhhhhhhhhh so in the weeks I've been gone I threw myself back asswards into TMA content [so yes v much Spoilers First Bc I Had No Patience] and? I am. Very much getting a Smirke's Fourteen vibe from the Carrion Cloud. Also is Mr radio man. Like. Okayyy??!?!?

AND NOW THE WEATHER

🎶Waitin for the bus in the rain in the rain in the waitin for the bus in the raiiiin 😎 🎶

Damn this is actually a legit bop I would make this new ringtone no question

(Don't get me wrong I fully expect this to have Lore implications later on but for now I'm just Vibin)

NOT SURE WHAT HAPOENED MY ASS

oh. Oh, Tapes, you say??? Well. *strokes imaginary beard*

What. The fuck? Genuine Life Advice? In my horror/weirdcore podcast? It's More Likely Than You'd Think. What. qhat even is this.

Ok so vanilla smell is Important.

This List is probably important but my brain refuses to hold onto any item in detail for longer than 3 seconds. Also "clear plastic binder sheets" made me laugh SO hard for some reason

Genuine question to anyone reading this, how much should I be paying attention? Like is this a Pepe Sylvia red-stringing sort of podcast where every detail is crucial later on, or is it more sort of a go-with-the-flow, Embrace the Absurdity sort of thing?

Why was that "Goodnight, listeners" so threatening?!?!?

*deep, deep inhale* ohhhkay

Next FUCKING EPISUDE I GUESS

[zkzm500a2]

feel like answering them but nobody ever asks so i'm going to pull a major funny and just answer them all here

1. yeah for the most part

2. my girlfriend

3. who doesn't

4. yes, not cripplingly so but definitely notably so

5. taken, i have a girlfriend who i love

6. gunshot to the head. 9x19mm or .45 caliber preferably

7. slice o pizza from my work

8. no, but when i was in high school i signed up for my school's CS:GO comp league and then never participated

9. not compulsively, but i do usually bite them off instead of clip them off

10. good question, probably back in elementary school. 4th or 5th grade

11. as in, do i have a crush on someone? or just a general positive opinion of someone? elementary school ass question. anyway i have a crush on my girlfriend whom i love

12. i've gone over 24, but never hit 48 (and don't plan to)

13. public figures yeah, but nobody i know personally

14. who doesn't

15. two cats :)

16. pretty neutral, not stoked about going back to work but definitely not bad

17. not yet, but i can see it happening

18. i mean i'm not arachnophobic but i think i have a normal human level of fear of spiders. i respect them and their space and go out of my way to avoid killing them

19. yes but only to shoot my past self in the head. oh and to see the Crab Nebula in person :)

20. my girlfriend's bedroom

21. work son!!! today's saturday and i have work tomorrow too

22. i've long said it depends on who i end up with

23. no i do not, i wouldn't be opposed to getting my ears pierced though

24. history and other social studies. i'm not a r/history guy but i've always liked it

25. isn't this also question 14?

26. some fuckin... gotdamn uhh... not much really

27. yeah

28. not that i'm aware of

29. yeah

30. my shoes!!! my work shoes fucking suck i'm getting new ones asap

31. yes. go ahead and guess who it is

32. yellow orange

33. nothing too extreme i don't think

34. hell if i know, i rarely remember my dreams. last one i remember involved a former coworker flirting with me and i was like "woah hey i have a girlfriend"

35. hard to remember. my mom, probably

36. i mean i give them out but only when reasonable to me. also i don't have such shitty friends that i need to give second chances

37. forget!!! i don't remember a goddamn thing

38. i mean statistically yeah but we're only six days in. 2023 was pretty solid for me though

39. Twenny

40. not completely naked but i have been in my backyard naked from the waist down before

51 (it jumps from 40 to 51 lmao). idk man i can't pick favorites. americans do be eating cheesed burger though

52. yeah but that reason isn't spiritual

53. drew a fake website named "i love you dot com" in ms paint and sent it to my girlfriend

54. i want to say no but my parents got together through cheating on their previous partners and they've been together the whole time. so like, in 99% of cases no

55. no i'm niceys :) i used to be a dick online but i've always actively tried to be nice in person

56. one guy, but at least twice

57. i mean i guess it depends on your definition of "true," but generally yeah

58. overcast and chilly is a go-to but i also love the sunny and chilly that comes after a storm in the winter or early spring

59. conceptually yes, but i would never want to drive in it

60. yeah

61. depends on the context of course but generally i'm into it

62. bideo games give me pleasure, but hanging out with my friends or my girlfriend makes me actually happy

63. i mean i'd prefer to keep my current name but in the event i had to, i have one in mind that i like

64. absolutely not, it's easy as hell

65. i'd be like "sorry i have a girlfriend. and you know this. she's all i talk about"

66. yeah

67. my girlfriend

68. how deep are we talking? probably my girlfriend though no matter how you define it

69. in a spiritual sense no, but it's still a helpful term

70. man i'd die for 20 bucks. but yeah there are several people i'd die for

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

[xlovelyyoongix]

don’t leave me alone | ksj

(I do not own this gif) 

summary: how were you supposed to say goodbye to the only man you ever loved?

pairing: Seokjin x f. Reader (ft. Yoongi)

warnings: zombie apocalypse, main character death, violence,  final goodbyes, blood, use of a gun, cursing, panicked reader, and panicked Yoongi.

Genre: heavy angst ( i’m so sorry for this...)

w/c: 2k ( one-shot )

a/n: so, instead of writing a warm and fuzzy holiday fic, I wrote this... wtf is wrong with me 😅? Anyways, huge thanks to @excusemin​ for being a sweetie and overlooking this and also crying with me 😭. Maybe make sure you have tissues before reading, yeah? I promise I’ll write a Jin fluff soon to make up for it. 💕

"Shit, shit, shit, SHIT!" Yoongi repeats with a dry throat, hands gripping onto Seokjin's shoulders to drag the older male's limp body into the room. "Close the fuckin door before they get in, Y/N!" he yells with a panic.

"Got it!" Ignoring the grunting of the undead chasing behind you, your hand slams the door shut the second you make it into the room. You make sure to lock the nob, but even that wasn't enough to keep the walking dead at bay; you need something big enough to barricade the door. Frantic, your eyes scan around the office-like room and spot a large desk that could be put to good use.

You sprint over, hands gripping at the metal of the desk but immediately met with the heavyweight of the object. "Y-Yoongi..." You grunt with clenched teeth, attempting to move the desk. "I can't move this on my own," you mutter in struggle.

"Can't you see I'm fuckin busy, Y/N!" Yoongi was never one to cuss or even raise his voice, but with the gravity of the situation, he panicked as he propped his best friend's body against a wall.  

Seokjin releases a sick cough, body wincing at the pain rippling throughout the damage of his legs. "I... I'm alright for now, Yoongi." His voice, weak as he struggles to speak. "Go help Y/N, please." Even being this close to death, Jin was still as polite as ever.

"Yeah, but..." Yoongi's eyes saddened as he gazed upon Seokjin's wounded state. His once flawless skin, now tainted with bloody cuts and purple bruises. Lips, formerly known for their pink, plush appearance now swallowed by a deep blue. It was clear Jin didn't have long to live, leaving no time for Yoongi to argue. "Fine," he releases a heavy breath. "I'll be right back."  

Following Seokjin's orders, Yoongi sprints towards you, assisting with pushing the heavy metal desk against the door to help keep the zombies outside.

With the task completed, your body lunges to your boyfriend's side. "Seokjinnie..." You whimper at the sight of color, leaving his precious face, and when your hand reaches to cup his cheek, you're met with skin as cold as ice. "A-are you in any pain?"  

Seokjin was definitely in pain, so much pain that his brain began to fog, making it hard for him to focus on anything other than the blood oozing injuries in both of his legs. "I... I'm fine, love." He lied, not wanting to make you worry more than you already have been. "All the blood leaving my body is starting to turn me numb." He grunts.

"Y-you'll be fine." Your breath staggers in your throat. "E-everything will be fine, baby," words rambling with a trembling lip. "We'll get you back to the compound, and the medics can look over your wounds and-"

"Listen, Y/N," The sudden power behind Seokjin's voice knocks you from your train of thought. "We both know I'm not making it outta here alive." Despite the grimness of his words', Jin somehow managed a smile as if coming to terms with his approaching demise. "I'll turn before we can even make it back to the compound."

You knew it was true. You knew that nothing could save your boyfriend at this point, but you refuse to believe it. "No, you're wrong!" You shout, a warm tear slipping down your cheek. "You're going to be alright, Jin! You just have to hang on! We can make it to the compound and-"

"Y/N, please" Seokjin's weak voice breaks your sentence. "I don't want to turn into one of them." His cold hand gives yours a comforting squeeze, wanting to feel the warmth of your lovely skin again before he leaves this world. "I don't want you to see me as one of them, so..." His darkening eyes rolled over to Yoongi, who was sitting at his right side. "Yoongi is going to shoot me."  

Your heart drops, jaw falling open from disbelief. "W-what?" Blood running cold as your body begins to tremble because he couldn't be serious, right? "No, absolutely not!" You protest in a frantic state. "We are going to take you back home-"  

"Y/N,..." Yoongi's eyes narrow towards you with a clenched jaw. "You know what happens after someone is bitten." He knows not to sugar coat it for you because the longer the two of you just sit there, the less time Seokjin has. "Don't make this harder on him."

Even though you hated it and didn't want to believe it, Yoongi was right. Seokjin was bitten, and the blood in his body was growing colder and colder by the second. "I... I know b-but," The whites of Jin's once dewy eyes become taken over by the virus, leaving them a deathly pitch black. "Don't leave me alone, Jin..." Your words, barely audible as your tears become potent. "I love you, I love you so much, and this hurts. I don't want to be without you..."

Using what strength he had left, Seokjin leans in for a kiss. His cold lips press onto the warmth of your own, basking in the serenity of your beauty. His thoughts start to wander, and he doesn't know if this is just his brain's way of coping with death, but he notices he's beginning to slip into a peaceful fantasy with you.

A fantasy where both of you stand in a lovely field of white flowers, the sun shining down so bright, your adorable face radiates and youthful glow that only enhanced all the beautiful features Seokjin loved about you.    

Standing tall, Seokjin places a loose strand of hair behind your ear. With eyes so big and your smile so bright, it melted him inside. It felt amazing, seeing you like this one final time, and Jin wished he could stay in this euphoric-like dream with you forever. A dream where he could use his strength to hold you, kiss you, and make love to you. However, the quick stabbing of reality begins to set in again, ripping him from his tranquil daydream.  

Seokjin slowly pulls away from the kiss, his thumb caressing across your cheek to help soothe your sadness. "I love you too, Y/N." He manages a smile, thankful for his short fantasy because now he has the strength to say goodbye. "I love you more than you could ever know, but please..." Jin's thick brows crinkling together, gulping in the air around him, preparing for what was next. "Let me leave this world while I'm still human. While I'm still the man, you love."

You don't want to believe it. You want to say no and drag Seokjin back to the compound and force someone, anyone, to save him because you can't imagine the man you love gone from this world so soon. But, no matter how much you wanted to change his fate, Seokjin was already destined to die this way. "O...Okay." You whimper, teeth gnawing at your lip to hold back any words of protest. Leaning in, you place one final kiss across Jin's cold lips before looking at your friend. "Yoongi..." And for the first time ever, you saw Yoongi's tears.

Yoongi's body trembled with despair, the gun shaking in his hand at the very thought of having to end his best friend's life. He's done it before, killed someone. It's nearly impossible to survive through the apocalypse without having to do so, but he'd never thought he'd have to use a bullet on someone that he loved.    

"Brother," Seokjin's voice creeps in slowly, placing a hand over Yoongi's shivering one. "It's going to be alright." He manages a weak smile, looking up at his dearest friend. "We've had fun together, right?"

A breathy chuckle vibrates from Yoongi's throat as he remembers all the eventful times spent with Seokjin. Friends as teenagers, graduating from college and becoming roommates as the two struggled to find their place in the corporate world. Every laugh, every smile, all of it flashing before Yoongi's eyes. "Yeah, we had a shit ton of fun, hyung." Yoongi laughs, rubbing tears out the corner of his eyes.

"So don't cry for me. I've lived a good life." A smile stretched across Seokjin's face, but he couldn't fool the fact that he was in pain. "I need you to stay strong and look after Y/N." His weak hand, gripping tightly onto Yoongi's. "Can you do that for me ?"

Yoongi rapidly nods his head in agreement, "I will. I'll look after her for you, hyung." Voice cracking in the back of his throat.

"Good." Seokjin grips the barrel of Yoongi's gun, guiding the weapon to be placed against the temple of his head. "I can feel it. I won't last much longer." Taking hold of your hand, Jin takes a deep breath to ease the anxiety rippling throughout his body. "I'm ready," he said, coming to terms with his inevitable end.

Yoongi's somber orbs glide to yours, grabbing your attention. "Close your eyes, Y/N. You shouldn't watch this part." Since the beginning of the zombie apocalypse, you've seen plenty of death, but Yoongi knows this will be the death that haunts your dreams at night.

There was no time to object or whine. Despite the growing ache in your heart, you had to let Seokjin pass on the way he wanted. "Okay," Your lips tremble, giving Jin one final glance before your lashes flutter shut.

Gun shaking in his hand, Yoongi attempts to let his mind fall blank, fearing if he over-thought it, he wouldn't be able to follow through with Seokjin's final wish. He takes an anxious bite of his lip, finger seconds from the trigger, waiting for Jin's signal.  

Closing his eyes, Seokjin grips onto your hand as tight as he possibly could. Of course, he was scared, and of course, he didn't want to leave you but, he'd rather die a man than turn into one of them. Taking a deep final breath, Jin nods, giving Yoongi the confirmation that he was ready.

BANG

The loud sound of the bullet echoed throughout the air. Maroon blood splattering across the office wall as Seokjin's hand grew limp in yours. Your lashes flicker open to the discovery of your boyfriend's body now slack and lifeless. "S-Seokjinnie...?" Your weak voice calls, but when he doesn't respond, a tsunami of anguish crashes over you. You can't catch your breath, your chest begins to tighten, and hot tears run down your face, streaming heavier than ever before. "NO!"

Before your body could collapse, Yoongi catches you from behind, pulling you in between his legs to cradle your sobbing body into his chest. He wants to tell you not to cry, that Seokjin wouldn't want you to be sad, but Yoongi couldn't even stop his own tears from falling. The only thing his weak body was capable of doing was stroking your hair as he rocked you in his arms, his mourning tears sliding onto the top of your head.

Eventually, the two of you would leave the building. You'd take your rage out on the zombies and let your bullets rip through their bodies as you escape back to the compound, but right now the two of you were too weak with grief. Only capable of clenching onto one another as you allow the hot sting of your tears to burn your eyes.

You would cry, and cry, and cry until you physically couldn't cry anymore...

[ask-beacons-finest]

How's the AFD!RWBY+Penny vacations going? Are Ruby, Weiss and Penny enjoying Atlas? Have Blake and Yang gone to the daycare and taken off to Vacuo? 

(Asked by anon)

Afewdrinks!Weiss, sitting in a booth at a club, music pounding in her ears as the various lights around the venue flicker and flash to make a flipbook-like visage: Ugh...where's Ruby with our drinks?

Afewdrinks!Penny, sitting beside Weiss, bobbing her head side to side with the music: Would you like me to go find her? 

Afewdrinks!Weiss, nods, laying her head atop Penny's should for a moment: Please? 

~~~

AFD!Ruby, sitting at the club's bar, laughing drunkenly: No way! I know him too!

AFD!Rando, a dude obviously a few years older than Ruby, chuckling a bit: O-Oh, you really do know the DJ? 

AFD!Ruby, nodding, taking a sip of her drink before putting it down: Yeah!! He's a friend of one of my girlfriends!

AFD!Rando, nodding, putting his hand in his pocket and glancing at the drink: Oh no shit, cool. Wait, did you say girlfriends, like plural?

AFD!Ruby, excitedly nods: Yeah man! I've got two! They're great and I love them a bunch. They're fricken...gorgeous too. Like some of the most beautiful girls EVER.

AFD!Rando, raising an eyebrow in interest: That so? Well hey, where are they? I'd love to buy you all a drink, chat a bit.

AFD!Ruby, turning away from the bar to the crowd behind her, looking around: Uhhhh, let's see...I think they were over there in one of the booths...yeah! Yeah! See that white hair? That's Weiss! Penny must've gone to the bathroom or somethin.

AFD!Rando, quickly putting his hand back in his pocket as Ruby turns back around: That's cool. That's cool. I'm sure they're both pretty great.

AFD!Ruby, nodding, picking up her drink: Oh yeah! They're the coolest!

AFD!Ruby, bringing the drink towards her lips, only for her wrist to be caught in a tight grip from beside her: H-Huh? Oh!!! Hi Penny! Hey this is my girlfriend Penny! 

AFD!Rando, with a bit of a scowl: Hey.

AFD!Penny, slowly lowering Ruby's hand to place the drink on the counter, putting a single finger into the drink: …

AFD!Ruby, confused: H-Hey if you wanted to you coulda just asked for a sip y'know?

AFD!Penny, after a small flash of green light from her eyes, narrowing them and glares daggers at the dude: What did you put in this?

AFD!Ruby, taken aback: Wh-...what??? No Penny he's cool he wouldn't-

AFD!Penny, shooting her hand past Ruby, and grabs hold of the guy's wrist as he tries to walk away: Very well. Don't answer me.

AFD!Penny, uncaringly twists her wrist, a wet snapping sound coming from the guy as he collapses and screams out while holding his hand, steps over and rummages through his pockets to find a few packets of powder, one opened: Ruby. I beg you. Not to be so trusting. 

AFD!Ruby, disgusted: DUDE! WHAT THE FUCK!? 

AFD!Penny, giving the guy a swift kick to the face, knocking him unconscious before handing the drugs to the bartender, and giving a quick explanation on what happened: Let's go back to the booth Ruby.

AFD!Ruby, still absolutely disgusted, embarrassed due to feeling like an idiot, taking a tight hold of Penny's hand after spitting on the guy's face: Yeah...let's...yeah.

~~~

AFD!Weiss, protectively holding onto Ruby, who's clearly upset and was crying: Hey, hey it's okay, it's okay. You're just too nice for your own good. We'll leave okay? 

AFD!Ruby, sniffling, rubbing her eyes: I'm just...I'm an idiot I'm so sorry...I'm so fucking stupid.

AFD!Penny, sitting close against Ruby on the opposite side of Weiss, resting her head against Ruby's: You're safe, that's all that matters.

AFD!Neon, hopping up into the booth, nearly completely nude, her body covered in glowsticks liquid, making her a walking art piece: Hey, you guys okay? Bartender told me some cheery red head snapped a dude's wrist, I suspected it was you guys.

AFD!Weiss, nodding, frowning: Yeah, Ruby had...become acquainted with an undesirable.

AFD!Neon, growling: Fuckin bastards. Thought all of them were banned by now. Do you want me to bring you guys back to Flynt's backroom? It's a lot safer and quieter back there.

AFD!Weiss, nodding: Please. I hope neither of you will be upset if we call a cab back there. I think this might have been enough for us.

AFD!Neon, shaking her head, holding out her hand for Weiss to take, the four of them forming a train: Don't you worry about it, I'll call the cab myself. 

~~~~~

AFD!Yang, sitting at the airship station, waiting to board their flight, joking with Ilia: The next thing I know, I open the shower curtain and BAM, amber eyes glaring at me from the darkness. So naturally I take the showerhead and just spray the shit out of them.

AFD!Ilia, cackling: That's what Blake gets for being a good girlfriend and checking on you after the power goes out?

AFD!Yang, defensively, laughter breaking through: Hey all I'm saying is I've seen more than enough horror movies to know how that situation ends.

AFD!Blake, shaking her head, muttering: Maybe I should've just killed you.

AFD!Blake, with a sly smile spreading on her face: But hey Yang, why don't you explain just what you were doing laying down in the bath with the showerhead in your hands? Hmmm?

AFD!Yang, stammering, embarrassed: W-Well you see I was just...uhhh, I was-

AFD!Trifa, standing up, motioning her head towards the boarding door for the airship: Our flight.

AFD!Yang, jumping up from her seat, grabbing Blake's hands and pulling her up too: Oh no! Guess that story will never be told! 

AFD!Blake, rolls her eyes: Mhhm.

~~~

AFD!Blake, walking down a boardwalk built atop a beach, wearing a large brimmed sunhat: It's a bummer we were separated on the flight. 

AFD!Ilia, happily soaking up the Vacuo sun: It's alright! I mostly napped. 

AFD!Yang, swirling a keychain around her finger, four keys attached to it: I'm just worried about our luggage…

AFD!Blake, taking hold of Yang's hand: Shh, the hotel service took care of it. Now let's hurry! I wanna see our-

AFD!Trifa, as the four walk over a sand dune, her jaw dropping: Holy shit.

AFD!Ilia, dumbfounded: Is...is that our-?

AFD!Blake, nearly speechless: It's...it's like the size of my family's house...and it's on the water…

AFD!Yang, nearly breaking into a sprint towards the cabana, excitedly calling after the three: WELL!? LET'S GO CHECK IT OUT!

~~~

AFD!Blake, stepping into a large open style room, a cool ocean breeze blowing her hair out of her shocked face: This...it's beautiful…

AFD!Yang, sighing a breath of relief: Our luggage. Thank Gods.

AFD!Ilia, going around the room, peeking into doors: A bar! A kitchen! A beautiful living room!!! Two bedrooms! Guys!!!!

AFD!Trifa, looking around in amazement: What uhh...what gym do you go to? I might get a subscription.

AFD!Yang, biting into a peach from a complimentary fruit bowl, with a smile: Well if there are more people there I'd have less a chance to win next year.

[lovemecharlie]

Private Dancer

Because my sisterwives deserve to get down. Kimora × Erik. Happy Valentine's Day.

Kimora Fire danced like her feet and ass were on fire in her private dance studio. Skin tight black latex hugged her sickening curves as she swung around the glowing red pole like a hula hoop around dancing hips. Her legs kicked and bounced, her tall black stilettos bending and scratching the air.

As a top ranking Atlanta stripper turned choreographer, instructor, and mogul, she had moves for days. Her zest was unmatched and words like basic, tired, and simple?.. were not in her vocabulary.

Heavy drums swallowing the room in vibration signified the transition to a new song in the playlist as Kimora's body moved on its own, possessed by rhythm.

...And I've been drifting off on knowledge. Cat-calls on cat-walks, man these women getting solemn. I could sing a song for a Solomon or Salamander. We took a flight at midnight and now my mind can't help but wander.

Her heels stepped authoritatively across the wooden floor, as she swung her hips melodically. Hands gripping the pole, her body waved like an S and then a Z. She strutted, leaping onto the pole in a spin where one leg was extended in pointe position while her other wrapped the pole to support her weight. Upside down, she split her legs grasping tightly to the pole with her hands. She felt a familiar weighted smack against her pussy and dollars scattered down around her head and all over the floor. She hadn't seen Erik come in but from her inverted view of him, she could see his thick dark locs wild and free, dangling in front of his dark, smoldering eyes. His thick neck adorned with three gold chains, layered to fall over his bare scarred chest. His v line was exposed, black joggers slung low with no visible draws to speak of. She could make out small tufts of pubic hair over the fabric and a Godzilla sized bulge. He'd been watching for a while.

She shook her heels causing her thighs to shake before crossing and uncrossing her legs. Once on the ground, her back flattened and her ass rose high into the air, her legs dancing, controlled over her head. She tumbled over and planted her coffin-nailed, ringed fingers onto the hardwood floor, arching her back to twerk. Her eyes held Erik in place as her cheeks bounced isolated. Another stack fell over her as she kicked her leg out and forward bouncing into a split.

Erik pulled out a hundred dollar bill squatting to wave it in her face, teasing it back when she leaned in. "I'll give you ten of these if you can do that on this dick."

It didn't take words for a seasoned pro. Kimora climbed to her feet slowly, her back to him. Clawing the black latex that clung to her legs and thighs like a second skin, her long fingernails dragged to her ass, clawing and gripping before she slapped it, turning to face Erik's hungry eyes. She peeled the cups of the onepeice suit down exposing silver colored nipple pasties. Waving her hips, she wiggled out of the suit, turning her back to him again to pull it down past her bubbled ass and to her ankles. Removing her stripper heels, she kicked out of the suit completely, kicking it off to the side. She was left in her silver thong and pasties.

Took her to the room make her bust it wide open. Killed that pussy, died with his eyes open. Killed that pussy, died with his eyes open. Killed that pussy, died with his eyes open.

Kimora straddled Erik on the hardwood floor, balancing over his lap before dropping and brushing his erection with her panty-clad mound. Standing, she gripped his locs tightly in her hands, pulling his face to her building furnace. Her pussy was simmering in the silver panties and his nose pressed into the indentation between her lips allowing her to ride it until she snatched his head back. He looked up at her licking thick lips. "This dick, Kimora. Sit on it." His voice was so low compared to the music, she had to strain to hear. She turned sinking with her knees to the floor and her back against his chest. Skin to skin. Leaning forward, she arched with her hands on the wood again and twerked, her ass like jello in his lap. He pulled down the back of her thong, sweeping his fingers down her crack, over her asshole and to her pussy causing her to moan as his thick finger slipped in, exploring. A second finger quickly followed and to Kimora it felt like he was throwing gang signs in the pussy. "This where my dick should be. I got thirty seconds of patience left and then I'm taking it." His fingers pulled out and went into his mouth before clapping onto her asscheek in a heavy slap. "Fuck me," he commanded as she hissed. The thong came off. She stood to take it off, tossing it in the direction of the latex suit. Moving her thigh over his, she dropped into a split, holding herself up long enough to pull his dick from his joggers and position it at her slick entrance. Slipping down, she impaled herself slowly, squeezing involuntarily. She felt overfull from his girthiness. With a hiss, she cursed under her breath, finding the strength to bounce. She was stuffed, stretching herself willingly.

"Don't stop. Bounce that fuckin ass," Erik sneered watching her eyes search the ceiling and the room as though trying to dissociate. He slapped her ass causing her motion to stutter. "Hello?.. Focus on the task at hand, getting this dick to buss. Split that wet pussy on my dick."

Moaning, she bounced harder, swallowing and squeezing him in her heat. Taking the pounding, she slammed her body onto him with a loud clapping impact until she had him breathing just as hard as she was, biting his lower lip. He gripped her hip to change positions and she pushed his hand away knocking him on his back to ride him, her leg over his chest. "I'm not done. You paid for a Kimora Fire show, you're gonna get one."

Gimme the paw, gimme the ball, take a top shift. Call my girls and put 'em all on a spaceship. Hang one night with 'Yoncé, I'll make you famous. Have you ever seen the crowd goin' apeshit? Rah!

Raw sex, bodies hitting hard against one another, wet abs, thighs, and stomachs. Kimora finally planted her feet on either side of his body in a squat, her hands on the floor and titties hanging. Riding his dick, sliding up and down on his thick pole, her ass bounced up in down, cheeks splitting and clapping with the impact. Erik's hand reached over her waist, grasping her left asscheek in a strong grip that egged her on as she bounced, pussy sucking up his 10 thick inches and drooling cream.

"Shit! That's how you fuck daddy, bitch..," Erik mumbled, lost in the sauce with his head tossed back. "That's how you ride a dick.. That's how you fuck daddy.. Wet my dick up.. Wet my got damn dick up, yes.. Shit.. Got that shit creamin.. Cream on my dick.. thick ass.."

Her walls clenched. She was close as he held her up by her titties giving her more leverage to bounce. She moaned when he snatched off her pasties one by one, her nipples now brushing against the rough skin of his palms. Throwing his hips, he thrusted up into her increasing the pressure. She dropped to her knees without losing her rhythm still bouncing her ass up and down on his shaft. She whimpered on the edge, but willed herself to press on. She wasn't the bitch to tap-out.

"Oh you gone fuckin cum for daddy," his heavy hand landed a slap on her ass that felt like a punch. "Finna come get that nut. Beast-mode, baby," he smirked, driving harder into her with a firm grip on her hips so could no longer move. He was in control, moaning with her as he hammered into her. She couldn't stop making sound. She could feel her asscheeks clapping his balls, her legs reduced to jelly in that short time. "Cum on my dick," he commanded and she came with a yell as he fucked her faster, liquid shooting in various directions landing on his skin. Mid-orgasm, he flipped her onto her back and pushed her thighs apart, holding her wrists over her head to do push-ups in her pussy.

"Fuck, daddy," Kimora panted, her mouth forming an O whenever he dug his log into her. He started grinding in and out of her slowly, slow-dicking her and her eyes crossed. He was deliberately hitting a spot every time he moved.

"Talk to me, Mora. Tell me you like taking this thick dick in that fatass pussy."

"I love this f-uh.... fuck.. fuckin dick in my tightass, fatass pu-ssssy, Erik," her voice trembled as her toes curled.

"Mm? Cum on this dick again if you love it so much," he whispered into her ear. "Daddy not gone stop fuckin his pussy. You gone cum and cum again, don't hold it."

She wailed, digging her nails into her palms as she let it hit her, an electric wave. Kissing her deeply, his pillows smashed against her lips, his tongue dipping into her mouth aggressively. Pulling her arms around his thick neck, he planted his fists near her sides while his arms kept her legs pinned back. He increased his speed to fuck her faster, her entire body shaking from the force of his heavy body and his dick pushing and pulling. "Fuck mee, fuck meee," Kimora croaked on a loop until her voice was hoarse, his dick in her guts stealing her words. "OH GOD, OH GOD," she gasped eyes wide as electricity shocked her again. Her legs trembled, spasming and quaking before her entire body shook, her titties bouncing as he looked on. "Tell daddy you love this dick," Erik swallowed pushing her thighs further back and apart before digging in again. Kimora's body never got the chance to stop shaking. "What I just say?"

"I lo- love thisss.. dick, daddy," her voice shook.

He gripped her ankles like handlebars and she whined, checking the behaviour before he could comment. She wasn't no bitch, she was THE KIMORA FIRE. "Fuck," she croaked breathless as she trembled.

"Mhm.. Big pretty titties, pretty eyes, pretty lips. You a pretty bitch, Mora," he grunted looking down over her honey-colored body before marking it with stinging bites. Her knees were in her armpits. Every time she squealed, he had a soft "Mhm" or a low "Yeah" for a response as though he were her personal interpreter. She held her legs wide grabbing her own ankles letting him get to the exact spot he needed to get.

"Hoooo shit! Right there, right there, right there daddy," she rushed dropping her head as he hit the spot dead-on. She came instantly and pushed hard against his stomach when he still wouldn't slow down through her layered orgasm. "You got it, shit," she complained breathlessly, her pussy sensitive. She knew he still had to cum. He gripped her wrist, holding it as he continued pounding brutishly into her.

"Here he come," Erik finally grunted, exploding into her warmth, not wanting to leave it. He closed his eyes as his dick pulsed along with his heartbeat. "Don't move," he whispered, catching his breath. He layed over her, resting his chin in the crook of her neck with a contented groan. His pants were still dangling around his ankle.

"About that thousand," Kimora sighed concealing her smile. Erik's body bounced.

"You would.."

"Did I not deliver," she challenged, her voice going in and out, still strained.

"Hell yeah. How bout this. We go again, I'll give you 2,000. This time you gotta ride my face just like you rode my dick.."

@poosypoosy @bastioncarterstevens-udaku @hennessystevens-udaku @itsangeludaku @alyshastevens-udaku @itskimorafireudaku @allhailnjadaka @bidibidibombaclaat @blackpinup22 @destinio1 @hold-me-like-a-heart-beat @leahnicole1219 @vikkidc @thehomierobbstark @trevantesbrat

[magicalbuffalotransformerman]

you know what? fuck it. Threat 2.

[yeah, i decided to rewrite Threat a little bit, as to where bonecrusher switches from the 'scared ex-husband fearing for his life' to the 'hyper-revenge-fueled man who's lost his wife to his nemeses'. he's a lot more aggressive this time around, and i forgot most of the original script so you're getting a paraphrasing up until the new bits. enjoy!]

[footmuncher, groundrumbler, nebula and terraterror are in the living room, playing a game of monopoly. they're enjoying themselves, as they should (<3), until a confused bonecrusher rolls into the living room with them.]

BC: where's my wife gone at this time of night?

[terraterror is the first one to respond.]

TT: well, we've just woken up.

GR: -not quite. i've been awake for a couple of hours.-

TT: -when'd you last see her?

BC: in my bed, with me wrapped around her as if i were a boyfriend corset.

RR: [mighty Russian yawn] did someone say 'boyfriend corset'?

BC: oh, hey, roadie. have you seen my wife anywhere?

RR: no, unfortunately.

BC: ...hmm. what if... [indecipherable]

GR: what if what?

BC: what if she was kidnapped by the autobots?

FM: rockie? kidnapped? dude, she's oughta be the biggest, toughest bot i've ever known! she can't've been just snapped up like a piece of candy out of a halloween bowl! impossible.

RR: ...halloween? is that a human tradition?

TT: yeah. either you hand out candy to some fellers dressed up in spooky costumes or you are a feller dressed up in a costume that receives candy from those who hand it out to you. some people are pretty lazy, however, so they set out candy bowls infront of their front door or porch, so you c-

[BANG. A loud screech is heard, with a sword having been shunted through the bunker door. It quickly retreats out the way it came in.]

BC: oh primus.

TT: roadravager. check the door.

RR: 10-4.

[roadravager approaches the door, making as little noise as possible. he checks through the little scar the sword made in the bunker door.]

??: Hey, Roadie! Mind if I come in?

RR: oh, rocketjumper! [he opens the door for her. of course, you already know what happens.] absolutely comrade, come o-AAGH!

[A large sword makes itself known through Roadravager's back, fresh Energon dripping down its length. The poor guy is raised up into the air, and sent into the kitchen counter.]

A!RJ: How are we doing in here, then?

[everyone reacts in different ways. footmuncher hides behind the couch, nebula finds that she's able to teleport through the ceiling and does so, terraterror and groundrumbler ready their weapons against rocketjumper, and bonecrusher's mind 404's.]

TT: rocketjumper, stand down! you're outnumbered!

A!RJ: Hell, doesn't look like it. One o' you's already down, two've you've hid somewhere, and y'all three look pretty fuckin' shook already. 'Specially that prick behind you.

GR: what? bonecrusher? nah, don't worry about him, he's just contemplating all the ways he's gonna skin you alive!

[Rocketjumper lunges forward and snatches up Groundrumbler by his neck.]

A!RJ: What was that, little guy? Speak up this time.

TT: ...bonecrusher? if you could react, now would be the best time.

GR, struggling to breath: you! are fucked! for trying this today!

BC: [he grows a stern expression.] ...alright, well.

[Rocketjumper ALMOST breaks Groundrumbler's neck, yet she's stopped by a mine claw shredding her abdominals. She drops Groundrumbler and stumbles back a little bit.]

[seeing an opportunity while rocketjumper's not looking, terraterror signals footmuncher to get to the terminal and have nebula lazer rocketjumper.]

A!RJ: Finally, a real fi-

BC: yeah, no. here's a warning, you autocunt. i'm only going to say this once, so you'd better listen. get the fuck out of here before i turn you into a tiny little puddle of mercury in a 5 foot crater.

A!RJ: [Tch.] You think you can do anything significant to me, hunchback, then come on and try it. At least you'll go down fighting.

BC: ...y'know i never wanted to do this to you rockie, but if it has to go down this way, so be it.

[bonecrusher and rocketjumper engage in a quite brutal yet quite quick sword/claw duel. buncha deflections, a couple of hits are exchanged. once they're done, rocketjumper's armor is effectively gone and bonecrusher's left arm is left on the floor. terraterror sneaks over to footmuncher, who's gotten to the terminal. footmuncher is tending to roadravager's injuries.]

TT: alright... nebula. need your help.

N: i'm here.

TT: i need you to target the outside of the base. i'm going to have the gang lure rocketjumper outside, so you can bring her down all of her notches. whaddaya think?

N: sounds good. i'll be on standby.

A!RJ: Good to see you've got some fight left in you, skater boy.

BC: ahuh. can't share the sentiment, personally, because i'm LITERALLY BEING MURDERED BY MY OWN EX-FUCKING-WIFE.

A!RJ: Finally, there's some of that world famous rage. So, how're you gonna try to kill me, huh? Have those bastard tanks shell me to death? Put me in a headlock and rip my guts out? What's rocking around in that tiny head of yours, hmm?

BC: well, i've got one thing for you. [he whistles, and kicks rocketjumper hard enough to stumble her into range of... well, the tank battalion.]

BB, from down the hall: FIRE.

[bunkerbuster, doomback and fortslammer throw some shells downrange, hitting rocketjumper in the chest, left foot, and right shoulder. somehow... she's sent flying out of the bunker door. the bunker door is ripped from its hinges and killed due to this. the guys must've had some high-kinetic shells or something, i dunno.]

TT: BRING HER DOWN!!

N: you got it!

[Rocketjumper adjusts her hat, and spits out a mouthful of blood.]

A!RJ: What, you think that's enough to- [She stumbles over.] -to kill me?!

BC, with a... VERY angry expression: TRY LOOKING UP, YOU FUCKIN' IDIOT.

[Rocketjumper looks up at a VERY ORANGE star in the sky, which she comes to learn is not in fact a star. She gets fucking MELTED, near-immediately, not even giving her enough time for a death scream before she's hit. She doesn't even DIE from this.]

N: direct hit. i've done enough in terms of ballistics. gonna film this for the optimuses.

TT: hah. good idea, that'll show 'em.

BC: what was that about murdering you? huh?!

[No answer.]

BC: ANSWER ME, YOU RAT BASTARD.

[Rocketjumper, looking... really melted, to the point that I honestly don't know how to describe her appearance right now, manages to get up on what's left of her feet.]

A!RJ: Still alive, asshole.

BC: down but not out, huh? perfectly fine. here's something you should've thought up before you got kidnapped and brainwashed, you bitch. 'what am i willing to put up with today?' NOT FUCKING THIS. I'M NOT WILLING TO PUT UP WITH MY OWN FUCKIN' WIFE TRYING TO KILL ME BECAUSE, oh I DUNNO, SOME SOON-TO-BE-SCRAPMETAL LOOKIN' ASS CLOWNS DECIDED TO TAKE YOU AWAY FROM ME. WE USED TO HAVE SOMETHIN' TOGETHER, Y'KNOW! [he coughs, not having screamed that much in a while.] i am not going to stand here and pussyfoot around and almost get killed. not today. not yesterday. not tomorrow, and- IT'S NOT HAPPENING. IT NEVER WILL HAPPEN. [he rubs his head.] we used to have something together. you were such a kind lady. i loved you. [saying this, he grows even more enraged, gritting his teeth.] I... arrgh... you are such a piece of shit today. I COULD'VE LET YOU LIVE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IN PEACE, AWAY FROM ALL OF YOUR TRAUMA, BUT NO. you can't let that happen. you won't because you've decided you wanted to kill your ex-husband. [he lets out a heavy sigh.] y'know what? do you or do you not have any last words?

A!RJ: [Her eyes flicker red, seemingly telling Bonecrusher that his loving wife is still in there.] Well... no. No, I don't. You've pretty much summed it all up. Y'know, Boney-

BC: YOU DO NOT GET TO CALL ME BY THAT NAME.

A!RJ: [She kneels.] ...apologies. I, uhm... I didn't want to be like this. This... massive, walking Russian bunker of death. For the record, I am sorry for causing such a disturbance today. I probably caused you some turmoil, huh? [She chuckles.]

BC, having calmed down a bit: alright, is that all you've got?

A!RJ: Mhm.

BC: good. rest in peace, babe.

A!RJ: Thanks.

[Another lazer of death comes down from the heavens to vaporize the rest of Rocketjumper for a solid 5 minutes. A 15-foot crater is melted into the ground of Antarctica.]

RR: [coughs up a bit of blood] aw, man. she was such a nice lady too.

MB: [he suddenly lands in the crater, getting some rocketjumper on one of his feet.] ...what happened here?

BC: to sum it up briefly, my wife recently became my ex-wife, tried to kill us, and got melted to hell for it.

MB: i see. sorry for dropping by late. had some business to take care of myself.

TT: don't worry about it, and uh... look up. you've got incoming.

MB: hmm?

[nebula teleports onto one of marrowbomber's shoulders.]

N: hey, dude!

MB: oh, hi there.

BC: ...i'm gonna go visit patchwork. feeling a bit woozy.

RR: allow me to carry you, comrade. i'm not as weak as you right now.

BC: yeah, ye- [he stumbles, roadravager scooping him up before he's able to hit the floor.] ...yeah, alright. god, you're strong.

RR: well, i am russian.

FM: damn right. [he grabs some cubes of energon.]

GR, with a raspy voice: hey, is one of those for [hacking] ...for me?

FM: absolutely.

[and so, with that comes the end of autobot rocketjumper's attempt on bonecrusher's life. everyone settles down, old faces meet new faces, and life goes on. bonecrusher's nightmare realm visits become quite a bit more vicious, unfortunately.]

[alright, post over. have a good one, and thanks for reading.]

[brimbrimbrimbrim]

Hi I hate to ask this but I've had the worst day of my life, a sprained ankle and then a car accident. It's been horribly rough. Could I get a small one shot Lucas fic of taking a liking to and comforting a found captive?

Don’t apologize for asking, Anon. That sounds like a terrible day. I hope you recover mentally, physically and financially very soon. Car accidents are terrible and a sprained ankle is rough. I hope this fic helps ease some of the crappy feels that today has given you. Much love for you on your road to recovery.

It started off with Lucas getting bored enough to watch all the VHS tapes he could salvage - ending up with a bundle of his Ma’s collection and nothing else to do. So, he sat around with his thumb up his ass and suffered through Beaches, Titanic and… some stupid Wayne Newton thing while eating bags of cheese puffs and peanuts.

By the end of Steel Magnolias, he felt like someone had ripped his balls off and sewn a pussy on him. All he could think about was cuddling and fawning over a girl of his own, and it made him nearly sick.

He sat around for another two days thinking about what it’d be like to have a girlfriend and jus’…hold hands. Hold hands?! Like he was some fuckin’ prepubescent brat. He wanted to fuck and cum balls deep in some hot cunt, not sit around and hold hands all day. But he did, and so he sat around with a blank TV and a heartache, not knowing what to do with himself.

On the third day of his self-inflicted misery, the ol’ man came in with two bodies.

“Morgue’s overrun, boy. I’m sticking these down in the stalls. They ain’t been fed yet so don’t you touch ‘em, ya here?!”

“Whatever,” he replied, not thinking twice about it cause on account of the goop his brain had become and got a nice crack in the back of his head with a baseball bat for his trouble.

After dear ol’ dad had taken down a charter bus full of shitheels lookin’ to spend the weekend in New Orleans for the big fuckin’ Mardi Gras parade, Lucas got stuck with two captives when the basement started overflowing with new arrivals. Two too many, he grumbled, hearing one of them start screamin’ after only two hours strapped up.

Ain’t nobody got time fer this, he thought.

He had other shit to do (he didn’t), and it wasn’t even like he could use ‘em for test subjects either so what good were they but an annoyance? They’d both been there since this morning, and it only took until now for Lucas to realize one of ‘em wasn’t screaming - hadn’t been since Daddy brought ‘em by.

Typically it wouldn’t peak his interest - the silence - but the last bitch he’d tossed in the rat’s nest had long since turned to bones, and he was bored. The tapes had made him weak at heart, and he couldn’t stand watching another one of his Ma’s sentimental tear fests.

Just the thought was making him wanna puke.

Lucas hunched over his desk, frowned and gave the little joystick a push to the right, panning camera nine over to the quiet one all tied up in one of the horse stalls.

A girl, Lucas noticed immediately. She was quiet, reserved and hadn’t moved much. Without much reason to, Lucas hadn’t gone down since they’d been brought in and secured to their posts. He hadn’t bothered to look at ‘em either since he wasn’t supposed to play with ‘em. Shoulda took a little trip down though, cause the chick looked kind of hot once he zoomed in a bit. Get rid of the blood and dirt, and she’d been the nicest lookin’ bitch to ever get past the gates.

“Ain’t it just peachy ah’ get stuck with a dumb whore in the barn…” he grumbled.  She looked like one too (not really), but guess that coulda’ been the fact that she’d been stripped down to her panties. At this angle, he couldn’t see her tits, but her back was bare, so she wasn’t wearing a bra or nothin’.

Shame - shame he didn’t have a good angle for a free viewing.

His Pa never said he couldn’t have himself a look-see. As long as he didn’t chuck her in the Birthday Room, who cared if he had a little fun? All he wanted was a look and maybe a hug or some snuggles - No! No, he just wanted to watch her heaving tits as he jerked off on the floor in front of her. He wanted to slip his dick between ‘em and… ugh…

Lucas wanted good night’s sleep with a warm body beside him, in all honesty. It got pretty lonely now that he was off the grid more or less - just enough connection established to contact his people and set up communication between all the cameras and speakers. No more porn to toss his rocks off to. No cam girls to watch while he fucked his fist, pretending it was a pussy. And now, worst of all, he’d brainwashed himself into wanting something more innocent than a good fuck. Maybe when the girl down in the barn passed out, he’d go lay next to her…

The girl down in the stall shifted, stretching a long pale leg across a bed of musty hay.

Shit! Where was his Polaroid at? Worse case scenario he’d snap a picture of her and lay in bed looking at it like a freak.

Four upturned boxes and a messy bed later, Lucas was loading up his ol’ polaroid camera with a dozen blanks, fingers shaking. He was only a bit ashamed of how low he was willing to go for some semblance of intimacy, but hell… he was desperate, and it was hard enough keeping his head clear as it was.

It was pretty pointless, but he rubbed his face clean of the blood from earlier and threw his door open. Lucas kicked his heels into the stairs, eyeing the molded that were hanging off the walls. They’re gaping jaws clicked open, swinging towards him jus’ enough to know it wasn’t some escapee running fer the hills. One of ‘em gurgled, gagged and puked up a messy wad of bones as Lucas passed it by.

Easily ignored, when his heart was busy jackhammering at the thought of this girl his Pa had brought in.

The girl was sitting in the stall, a chain wrapped around her waist, connecting her manacled wrists and branching out to the pole she was resting against. She didn’t have much wiggle room, but all in all, it wasn’t as bad as getting cramped into one o’ them dog crates.

She didn’t even bother lookin’ at him as his sneakers crunched over brittle hay, pausing outside the wooden gate. A fountain of pale hair hung down in front of her face, covering the tops of her tits.

“Hey-hey, come on, bitch! Wake up!” He snorted as she jerked but did little else. Only when he growled and gave the gate a hard kick did she swayed. A hint of perky nipple poked out of her thick hair as she lifted her head; blood-matted hair slipping out of her eyes. Blue eyes, like his own, looked up at him, gazing under wet lashes.

She was a hottie, and Lucas was struck half dumb for a good long minute jus’ looking at her.

“My leg’s broken,” she whispered. Pain made her voice throaty, ragged enough he found himself licking his lips, wondering if he should have brought her a soda or somethin’. He palmed his Polaroid, nodding to her with the tip of his chin.

“I’ll set it fer ya if ya give me a smile. I’ll even bring you upstairs and get ya somethin’ to eat. How about that? Sounds like ah sweet little deal, don’t it? Jus’ gotta say cheese!”

“It doesn’t and I won’t,” she said, leaning back against the wooden pole, exposing her bare tits through a curtain of dirty hair, uncaring.

Lucas popped himself a picture without obscuring his view with the shitty glass lens. All she did was blink at the flash and nothing more. No rebuttal, no tears or anything else he’d have expected. Hell, Lucas even had a running shower up there. How could she say no that kinda offer?

Slowly, checking the barn entrance with a narrowed look, he smashed the lock on the gate and swung it open. The noise or the implication made her stiffen over the hay bed. In her lap, she curled her fingers and closed her eyes. Dry, cracked lips, which probably looked pretty full and sexy when she wasn’t dehydrated, mouthed words… no, they mouthed numbers.

Lucas shoved his shoulder into the wooden post as he read her lips while she chanted math equations, solving for X and Y in some weird, brainy coping mechanism. Probably thought he was gonna rape her or somethin’. All the chicks that came through here thought he would…kinda got insulting after ah while.

“Ya forgot to carry the four, sweetheart…” he told her, watching as she ignored him, continuing despite her fuck up.

Kinda interesting. Usually, everyone just begged and screamed for someone to come rescue ‘em - like they were a princess in some wild fairy tale. This one accepted her fate, or at least what she thought was gonna happen, and did her best to prepare for it. Lucas liked that - respected it. And so he yanked the film from his camera, gave it a couples flaps until the badly lit sight of her with those cute tits came full color. He threw the picture at her, snorted when she kept on dividing and subtracting and left her there.

It wasn’t until the next morning that Lucas got itchy again.

All night he’d been watching her through the camera, ignoring the stupid asshat in the stall beside her as he screamed. It was hard to see through the snowy lenses, but Lucas was pretty sure she was still miming mathematics to herself. She didn’t sleep, at least not for more than half an hour maybe. Her unbroken leg would kick or stretch and once he saw her turn her head up towards the camera, staring at him.

“Come and do it already,” she’d say, making his gut churn sickly.

After his ol’ man had come in for the retard with the broken vocal chords, Lucas stuffed a bag of skittles in his pocket, grabbed a can of soda and hopped the stairs to see his adorable brainiac.

She was docile, only watching him, never begging, as he swung the gate open and stepped inside. The stall was narrow but spacious, but Lucas threw himself down beside her despite having enough room to host an orgy if he wanted. The girl tipped her head back and breathed deeply, ready for whatever she thought he was gonna do.

“Skittles?” he offered, shaking the packet near his jaw with a feral grin that made his cheeks ache. He’d forgotten how to smile, so a grin would have to do.

The barest touch of her tongue between her lips made Lucas swallow. In her lap he noticed her fingers twitch.

“…why?”

He didn’t need a reason, but he had one, ‘course he did. Lucas wasn’t gonna tell her, though, so he just shrugged and tore the corner off the packet, shaking a few into his palm. All he needed to do was stare at her hands fer a few seconds before she got the idea and offered her palms to him; shackles clinking. Bruises and bloody scabs ran like bracelets around her wrists.

He dropped a few sickly bright skittles into her palm and watched her wince, trying to put them in her mouth. If he weren’t so sure she’d bite his fingers off or curl her nose in disgust, he’d have fed them to her.

“So, ya like numbers, huh?” He waited for her to say something, but she merely sucked the Skittles in her mouth with half-closed eyes; savoring the sugar in silence.

“Me too,” he sighed, scooting a little closer to her until he just missed bumping her broken leg.

“My Pa said I was gifted when ah’ was younger. But hell! - Guess geniuses go crazy every damn day, huh? Jus’ another one with a bad brain.” It felt better talkin’ to someone that wasn’t Eveline…or imaginary like Oliver had been (sometimes still was). Even if she didn’t talk back, Lucas liked laying back in the barn with her. Nothin’ else better to do anyhow and it was the closest he dared to get to something resembling cuddles. Not that he wanted that… obviously.

“… can I have some more?” she asked, sounding so tiny and small that somethin’ in Lucas started to hurt. He looked up at her from the soft ground, saw how empty her eyes were - like a dead sea - and handed her the whole bag of skittles. The little, hopeless smile she gave him made his chest tighten like there was a hook buried in it.

The only thing that sucked about dosing himself with that serum was all the emotions he had coming back to him. That’s all it was. Could’ah done without ‘em, if he were honest, but the girl ate her candy through the pain, meeting her hands halfway down and somethin’ about giving her that little act of kindness made him wanna do more and more… and more.

For the next two days, he spent most of his time either telling himself not to go down and see her, or sitting with her in the barn, feeding her junk food, handing her bottles of water or talking to her (actually talking to himself, but that was neither here nor there).

Eventually, he went down to see her with a real goal in mind - not just trying to keep her alive. He brought the bolt cutters with him. The ol’ man wouldn’t sweat one little captive - not when he had dozens of ‘em fresh and ready to be hatched. If his Pa said anything, Lucas could just tell ‘im the molded got hungry and climbed the gate. Easy.

She withdrew at the sight of him with the cutters in hand, but still, she didn’t beg or scream. Lucas cut her chains without a word and tore her manacles off as easily as if they’d been clay. When he grabbed her around the waist, careful of the raw red skin where her chains had been, he felt her muscles tighten. Not one to take that shit personally, Lucas tried to smile but ended up grinning and slung her over his shoulder… only then did she scream. He could feel her tears soak through the back of his hoodie and her broken leg bang against his chest.

Lucas tried not to let the sounds of her agony bother him, but they did. Every step made him wince as she bawled her eyes out, shouting and begging him to stop - that it hurt 'it hurt so bad!’

In a few minutes, she’d be right as rain, but the pathetic, sloppy sounds still wedged their way under his skin somehow.

She sobbed when he set her down on his couch, fingers running along her broken thigh like fluttering leaves; listless. Pain lined her body - her face and brows. The lights above their heads highlight the heavy fall of tears that made Lucas feel guilty for some fucking reason. Not like he’d broken her leg…

He grumbled and left her there to her misery as he went to the kitchen, pulling out a bottle of the good stuff for her and his last candy bar. Maybe she’d be more apt to forgive him if he showered her with sugar. Wouldn’t hurt, right? - And he was pretty desperate at that point.

When he returned, she was halfway across the floor, dragging herself towards the door. A long, scattered line of dark blood following her line a snail trail.

“Hahaaaa’ah shit, sweetheart. Where’d you think yur goin’? Ain’t nothing out there but moldy freaks with them teeth waitin’ fer ya,” he laughed at her, hamming it up as his gut pulled when she merely whimpered and pulled herself another few inches across the floor.

Badass, bitch. Smart and sturdy and cute… didn’t find many of those anymore. Not that Lucas would know really. He never did get out much before Evie showed up - didn’t do much talking to girls even before he was labeled the crazy head.

Lucas swallowed and knelt down beside her, pulling at her ankle. She howled, hissed and threw a fist into his face. Took him by surprise, but it was weak and barely did more than sting. He hadn’t meant to pull at the busted leg like that.

Didn’t matter, though. He was gonna fix her, and she could hit him all she wanted if it made her feel better, Lucas could take it even if she broke his jaw. He gave her a hard look and poured the bottle’s cool, slick contents over her thigh.

Those wet blues fluttered closed, as the shit took effect.

“… I can feel my bones snapping.”

Lucas grinned, biting his lip to keep most of the infectious glee inside until he could breathe it back down, “Yeah, how about that? Feelin’ pretty good by now I reckon.”

She twisted at the waist, running a hand over her healed thigh before giving him a calculating look, “I-I don’t understand.”

“Bout what?”

“Everything,” she whispered, pulling her legs in, laying an arm over her chest with a slight blush. Guess now that she wasn’t in so much pain she had enough sense to be embarrassed by her tits hanging free. Lucas liked lookin’ at ‘em, but that free fun was over. If he’d wanted to keep ogling her, he coulda just kept her in the horse stall. Naw, Lucas wanted her - wanted to hug her close and wash away the blood and dirty, pat the wounds dry and kiss them better. It was real fuckin’ sappy and stupid and yet he didn’t bother worrying about it now that her leg was healed.

“T-this,” she started, inhaling brutally as Lucas dared put a hand on his calf, “you can’t kill her, take her away from me like that - you can’t snap my fucking leg in half and throw me in some damn pig pen and… and… and feed me candy like some pet and now this?!”

Lucas frowned, feeling like someone had a knife stuck in his stomach, giving it a good wiggle with each seething word.  She shook and cried silent tears, staring heatedly at him while he sat there frozen, just wanting to wrap his arm around her.

As more grief poured outta her, her lips started to quiver like they were hooked up to car batteries, “That asshole h-he killed 'er and now you wanna… just do it already! Just do it!”

Her fists coiled and like a feral cat, she came at him, throwing a jab at his chest and another up into his chin.

Lucas hissed, grabbing at her wrists and pulled her up over his thighs, keeping her claws out of his eyes as she trembled and sobbed; leaking wet tears down into his lap. The only crying girl he’d helped was Zoe when they were teenagers when some cunt had called her fat during lunch. This was… Lucas tried to stop looking at her tits as they bounced while she cried - sought to halt the boner from growing between his legs as her hair tickled the back of his hands. Her eyes opened wide, stared up at him, and suddenly she collapsed into his chest; sniffling.

“Ain’t gonna rape ya…” he told her; pretty lame sounding in truth, but he wasn’t sure what to do with a crazy chick in his lap, curling her fingers around his sides… hugging him hatefully. Bitch was insane, but Lucas couldn’t ignore the warmth he felt as she held him around the middle, trying to suck some sort of comfort from him.

Lucas found himself wrapping his arms around her, holding her bare shoulders, rubbing her shivering, naked back as she whimpered into his chest. Shit circumstances and all, but Lucas loved every second of the contact. She was warm and soft…

“Shh… Hush, now,” he muttered, doing what his Mama used to do for him when he had nightmares… or scuffed up his knees on the stairs. The words just sorta came out without much thought to it, and before Lucas knew what was happenin’, he was whispering sweet nothings to this chick while she breathed easy against him. There on the floor, he held her, feeling her heart thud gently against his stomach.

It was the first real intimate contact he’d had since Eveline showed up, long before that even…and suddenly he couldn’t get enough of it. Lucas groaned, pulling her up and cradled her carefully in his lap. She only struggled for a second before sinking into his arms silently, breathing slow and gentle. Lucas inhaled the stale, blood tinged smell of her hair, found something sweet buried underneath the dirt and sighed.

“Thanks,” he muttered; lips on her scalp. Down beside his stomach, he felt a soft touch, like a thumb brushing the jut of his ribs and shuddered in pleasure.

If this was how good it felt to be held - to hold - and offer comfort then Lucas decided he wasn’t gonna let his Pa get this one. Lucas was gonna keep her safe and sound, and she wasn’t ever gonna feel pain again. If he had to kill ‘em all… he’d do it, just to keep her from cryin’ ever again.

[everyonepronouncesmynamewrong]

hello again, ugly.

I TOLD YOU I'M NOT UGLY YOU SHORT- HMMMMMAAAAAHHH shit