#npc_grian

[fountainpenguin]

I will say, I appreciate how the ritual to summon NPC_Grian - the demon believed to be the ultimate house builder - requires building 5 entire rustic houses first, because if we were to assume that gathering, designing, and placing blocks takes physical effort for the little digital guys, that's potentially months or years of in-universe work...

... and all you get is a demon who will hover behind you demanding you build more rustic houses and if you don't then he will seethe and pitch a fit and kill you?? why would you summon him? Do not.

Which I guess is made clear in the summoning book, but-

From Grian's "One Hour of Build Swap!" video - HERE

[megabuild]

Hey, would skins from Grian's two alt accounts be acceptable to put in the folder? NPC_GRIAN and TwoMuchGrian.

yes, provided they are not just copies of his default skin! any alt account (eg. piglinmynose) counts.

[micer2012]

HI, ALL OF YOU ARE SLEEPING ON NPC_GRIAN

[prismarine-parrots]

品尝一个人的自己的医学

Initium eius a servo Hermitcraft grian in domo propria mundi. Et erat alioquin unioni intermissum a servo, sicut est dies aut est de hoc quod est intense working frui aliquo tempore et aliquo brainstorm consilia quid esset facturus proximo post Sahara.

"Salve, mi nomen grian and- whaaaaat diaboli."

Iam non ignarus erat circumitam ab diem. April prius: Aprilis est fatuum.

Exspectabam tamen non penitus totam Hermitcraft servo?

Fui in insula, et pariunt, quae est a forsit quod non cognovi grian log off hic.

"Bene, stultus est et Aprilis est hodie scio, sed hic quod factum ...! Venit super me et super planning pranking caeteris, ne pranked me esse? Non est hic?"

Grian 's "De Nonne tu?" Lux cinereo concretum buxum sto e pulveris erat, defuit. Solum rei est unum obstructionum de pulveris, et caelum est unum obstructionum de rubrum temere villam quæ erat vitree in qua hic esset. Nec tamen est Veni esset integrum, non erat verum est.

Grian circumspicit et scratched eius caput in ignominiam.

"Non habeo idea est, quod suus 'iens on. Ego vadam etiam per Neque enim aliud est fatum videatur Hub et ..."

Sicut aedificator tripudio in porta justo murice velum operuit mirabile visu sono ipso aspectu et infernalis warping runs longiores. Mox e lintre prodigium stuporem magis miror.

'Quod factum est centrum et fundamentum ad inferiorem ?! "

Ubi autem semel in admirabile unum Season VI-ut-octo gradus in mundo, ubi nunc est malesuada euismod a, o-Jack maris et lucerna, per caeruleum tapete aut obstructionum, et fragmen griseo vitree. His erat inter aperta et cuneos in planum primum semestre commoratus netherrack heremitas in libero tempus purgandum et time- spawnable cursus erat. Ergo inter grids ad Zombie pigmen galore erant aliqui defluet ossa et occasionaliter coruscare. Neque enim solum videtur quod unus porta.

"Omnes nos labore! Menses et consumpta opus in this- ut bene, alii autem: Ego iustus fodit a copulabis centum novellis ovibus netherrack et adhuc!" Grian suam conquestus est, quod secundum metaphoram viewers video esse eius post vigilantes.

Et conversus ad portam vidit scalam sagged humero suo modulo Mirandula claudere postes basi censuerant.

"O nihil, quod factum est ad turpia? Hoc non est bonum ... bene oblivisci quod hodie est planning si reliquum igitur servo, si sic Im 'iens circum et calamitatem cum venerit quod in servo, "grian attenuate arrisit, ut sciat plene bene Xisuma ac verisimile est hanc duobus aliis profecti sunt.

In foribus exspectabat lintre quinque secundis et egressus Overworld antequam in corpore nigro purpureo.

Et statim cadit in Oceanum.

Grian renavit ad superficiem et saliente tussis.

"In venias!" Conquestus conculcantes aquam (quod cum obtinuisset optimus temporum usu fuisse faciendi quantum oceanus) respexit ad basin Oceano. Aqua in vas superna suffusas quod celeriter et ad purgandum eum lentium salsa licet laneum quando inutilis esset infecta. Posuit super oculos, ita ut par footage et anhelavit.

"Mea basi"

Et basis erat basically esse. Solum defuit exemplum temere moenibus neque eget male habens centrum apud inferos. Candida per duas columnas duas ibi concreti, ubi multitudine coalescit quondam turris et in minoribus basi una turrium fundamenta grian extra cardines albo nerd impedimentum concretum.

"Haec insaniens ..." grian in derisum tibi sensus tremendum. "Omnia abiit! Meum in cibum thesauris, qui superius labrum non radit machine- O, nihil, non video tamen aliquid vitree, o nooooo ..."

Grian ducti ab eius basi in annulum quo sciebat viros esse circa eum ingens basi nollet esse. Ille uno in loco inventus est circulus-wide obstructionum aqua ad superficiem. Uidet et grian caput quassans Donec ante oculos iam completam oleo turrem aedificare altitudo illius.

'QUALES pulmentum haec, guys ... id credere non possum. Quam diu eam accipere et ad haec guys facere esses nisi quod uti WorldEdit? TNT? Ut exsisto pia, hoc tamquam moles molem de TNT usus. si disperdam eos cum basi TNT, Im 'okay cum honestus est. non est meus ventus obstructionum! nolite solliciti esse guys, ego autem hic ante cibum de mundo, nisi, sicut ego tibi unius ludio ludius ludere iam in Hermitcraft! '

Detinuit giggles malum sciens nimirum quod eos esse tota die et ignorantis erat litteralis. Grian extruxerat est in alio aliquo reali, coelitum Locate ad trahendum in agente adnexarum l lascivia spectatoribus suis, et tamen est prorsus exitum invenire vias, ut solitarii consumens Prank ab initio est. Sed iam ad risum tenere character- prolapsis consiliorum maximorum futurum consilia dare fugeret

"Ego videre ad aliud opus basium 's! Xisuma s? Falsum est! Mumbo scriptor!" Et felis anhelavit "Quid accidit Mumball ?!"

Tulitque anulum in saltu s artificis sui Architech est et turpis. plurimum ad stationem Architech intactam adhuc et in statione pontis saepibus hinc inde usque ad nihilum suggestu et faciens mirabilia quaedam similis mari aggere. Quod non abstulit adhuc enim quinque seconds a grian exitium venit in visum est in proximo.

"O noooooo," risit grian miserabile 'et ratio repono "

In compagibus (ALIQUANTULO squished) basi sphaerica praeditum esse omnino integrum. Et omni speculo videri potest fracti sunt, inter quas est tenendum vitrum aqua repono ratio AD ad mumbo est ratio. Inundaverunt aquae super pectora, sunt enim inter uias urbis onto rura inferius.

«Hoc dictum est ..." aedificavit autem gemens et volavit super sphaera, non defuit aqua ad terram in omnibus. Bumbo Balloni cuncta conspicit unum in summitate levitating mumbo potestate crinibus ora nives golems intus partis defuit vagari post quatuor versus Micro biomes aureis.

"Mumbo? Mumbo mihi est hic? Mumbo jumbo! Mumboooooooooooo! Noli postulo ut satus et cantant canticum AFK? Mumbo jumbo, in quo vos non estis, needtobeeee ... Bene, quod est etiam peius quam mihi cantores et cantatrices, cum aeger eram. ne remix esse. O ne nunc Im 'iens impetro a Saccharum carmen etiam non! ego autem si vere loquitur prohibere ... "

Quod autem in una fossa humo operui maculosus grian tecta pelagus staturam. Compertoque Plautum et in ipso jucundo et anhelans descendit ut eam in spe: mumbo de horto in quo fuit in lectulo suo.

"Mumbo! Venite ad vultus ad quod factum est basis? Est insaniam convertunt!" Exclamaverunt grian, sperans per hoc non unumquemque April stulti miscent se possit ad coclear. Tamen putavit se repente factum fuerat mumbo Alienor resistit.

An sto armis, armis indutus est in griseo mortuus zonam, cum mumbo supra caput, a quo librum edidit in magica arma habere tamquam sicut ludio ludius stans.

Grian sto ad suffusionem vultus.

Cecidit super arma dedere et erectas falsum stare. "Mumbo nulla! Sufficit vobis quod iam vertitur in armis resistere? Et horror sum ego solus ille solitarius non abiit in domum suam in armis sto quia hodie? Quid saevis aversatus eum! Wow, sicut et canetis Joe ' risisse se ad caput quassans.

"Lorem, quod fuit ipsum ridiculam, sed nescio quid facere nunc. Keep servo bibendum? Im 'solus unus online, to ... quod suus' iens impetro odiosis sine ullo penitus, et figure ex quo factum est in calculonis servi ... "grian prope dixit" ludo "quod dedisset velámen ab illa oblivione, quae fuit Aprilis insipiens est.

Et buzzed telephonum nigrum in sinum macilentos jeans. Everriculum eum, et erat servo notitia a text.

xisumavoid joined ludum.

<Xisumavoid> quod factum est ad basis ?!<Xisumavoid> grian! Quid fecisti?!<Xisumavoid> illic 'ubique ipsos custodes?

xisumavoid usura magicae custos appositus occidit lectis.

<Xisumavoid> mihi in occursum ad shopping regio. Nunc.

"Im 'iens ut esse in tribulationis adeo ut ne quidem aliquid mihi faciunt,« grian gemens' non dicam tibi in occursum eius cum eo. Hoc autem non est vir mecum VEL in veste pullum? "

Parvam cameram suam removit grian nuntiavit devoratur insula aedificare moles superposita.

"Hoc est pulmentum sicut bene! Heu! In Stock commutationem, iTrade, Tek Skies- meam ad ALEX tabernam"

Locus erat utraque genera mali. Velit esse centrum inferni, in stativis grian T, in turpia mumbo umoris et visum totum agrum shopping WorldEdit cutouts tabernas media constructum erat ut staret, sive directe sive gradatim scandit.

"Non habeo verba ..." grian murmurati estis ad se. Non solum quae est, sed quae ex se erat, et currens non dico ad aes sonans repetita ejus, et fundes in mumbo, quemadmodum.

Egressus foras in platea portae iTrade et vidi cum inferno.

"Xisuma? Certe novi te insanire, sed quod modo non sum confusa! Questus sum cogitavi et hoc ad me?" Conclamat.

Nullum responsum.

Grian frowned. "Xisuma?"

Et testudo et conspuebant atris conditur ille apud inferos warbled portal.

"Grian, nescio quid did-"

"Non me"

"Per memetipsum iuravi, si dicitur quod esset vir in costume- pullum"

'Non fuit? Meum basi fuerit ad cardines Nerd! Cur hoc facio, ut ad me? " Grian interrogavit. Ecce confundentur et cessavit ostendere fabricator Xisuma certamen incessit oculi visor purpureum.

"Quis ergo fecit?" X postulavit. Grian humeros contraxit.

"Quomodo scio si me? Non enim ego iam in diebus duas"

«O mihi dies ..." X ponet manum suam super cassidem, et respicere ad caelum. "Non intellegis..."

Et stetit tacitus cogitare quasi una hora incerta est nec dicere in hoc quod facere pulmentum.

"Tu certus Vestri 'non trying ut ad me?"

"PROH, tam densa ... stulti estis, si vos nec fecistis illam, et fecistis vobis videtur?"

Et exclamaverunt voce paulo ante grian Xisuma mouisset viridi qualis non simul. Et circum Milesia vellera ad...

"01001000 01000101 01001100 01001100 01001111 00100000 01000111 01010010 01001001 01000001 01001110"

Et alii dixerunt quod hoc non debeat iterari, in PG-oneshot.

At cum apud se est frigida sanguinis grian cucurrit oculi nigrum inanimatum.

"NPC ?! te vidi justum in domo mea?"

"Et Ego te cogitavi ut interdictum, quod malum Xisuma! Get servo meo off!" X iussit.

«Et quid tibi donat ius circa iubes?"

"01001100 01000101 01010100 00100000 01010101 01010011 00100000 01000010 01010101 01001001 01001100 01000100 00100000 01000001 00100000 01010010 01010101 01010011 01010100 01001001 01000011 00100000 01001000 01001111 01010101 01010011 01000101"

"NON!" Statim conversa grian reclamantes abibis autem alternis versio ipse conversus post tergum suum fervens oculis rubet.

"Et mane die altera cogitavi!" Hic squeaked per. X erexit et frons grian sed dixit nihil.

"Vides hunc praeclarum chao fecit nobis?" Nuntiatum Xisuma mali, quo initiatus est brachium suum shopping regio ut destruatur "putas te adhuc servo? No! EGO sum iam Hermitcraft admin of"

"01000001 01001110 01000100 00100000 01001001 00100000 01000001 01001101 00100000 01010100 01001000 01000101 00100000 01000010 01010101 01001001 01001100 01000100 01000101 01010010 00100000 01001110 01001111 01010111 00100000 01000111 01010010 01001001 01000001 01001110" NPC grian verisimile non habuisse eundem vicit, malicious risus quam, si fecerit malum X poterant.

X grian et oculos alter ad alterum constituamus super hoc probabile cum quaesivisset hoc idem alter ex altera.

Et non dicitur aliquid de Doppelganger?

Admin rufus et attenuate arrisit usque ad tenuit manum.

"Pueri Bene, suus 'bonus est currere. Sed Hermitcraft servo mea modo:" Malum X grinned. "Dic vale mundo autem viri pretiosam".

"01000111 01001111 01001111 01000100 01000010 01011001 01000101"

Grian coepi ut dimisso capite morior, sperans invenire viam suam, ut judicio contendam adversum intellegentiae artificialis par versionem Xisuma et aliis. Sed ex digitis NPC grian conniveret ferunt, nam iam rubra micantes et omnia consumantur.

Grian caput quassans lightheaded Sensus: invenies circumspicit et se ipsum in quadam confusa cognitione omnium players The Hub et nota cityscape.

Xisuma ipse, scilicet patiens esse in effectis eiusdem a coactus e servo ut bene.

"O mihi dies: Quid accidit?"

"I no clue possedi hominem. Sed hoc vel demens Aprilis in ipso facinore, abiit iniuriam vel iustus perdidit," grian gemitus. "Cum vocasset eam nunc erit quæ ad normalis a mane ..."

X remigibus grunnisse Elpenora excepit. "Scio quod me supra in hac parte, sed non omnia? Puto nos iustus habere amisit Hermitcraft! Admin et si Im 'non amplius, et ego non usore in calculonis servi tui et calce abjecistis malum qui X et Dudus erat et ... et ... "

Certum est non Adeptus grian certiorem adipiscing maxime quia hoc facinore centum sentio. Simpliciter sursum ejus memoria et specula super nasum suum, faciens certus sunt usque X scriptor libri commemorare terrore, smirking ad hoc ipsum, ut iret usque ad magnum video in fine diei.

Ibi paucos esse cognitum quasi Perks prankster. Et hac occasione non est praetereundum fiat in modo me potes?

--

X male cum sociis suis reduxit et risus donec usus est / calcitrant calce abjecistis grian et imperium in contrarium in calculonis servi. Uterque apparuit in oculis eius statimque egrediens hysterics tenens lacrimas genibus posse videatur.

"Quod Erat pretiosa!"

"01001001 00100000 01000001 01000111 01010010 01000101 01000101 00100000 01010100 01001000 01000001 01010100 00100000 01010111 01000001 01010011 00100000 01010110 01000101 01010010 01011001 00100000 01000110 01010101 01001110 01001110 01011001" NPC Grian agreed in his robotic tone. "01001001 00100000 01010100 01001000 01001001 01001110 01001011 00100000 01001001 01010100 00100000 01001001 01010011 00100000 01010100 01001001 01001101 01000101 00100000 01010100 01001111 00100000 01010010 01000101 01010100 01010101 01010010 01001110 00100000 01010100 01001111 00100000 01001101 01011001 00100000 01000011 01001100 01001111 01010011 01000101 01010100 00100000 01001110 01001111 01010111"

"Awww, bleibst du nicht länger bei Grian?" AI DocM rogavit ut resonaret in spe paululum decido.

"01001001 01010100 00100000 01001001 01010011 00100000 01010100 01001001 01001101 01000101 00100000 01000110 01001111 01010010 00100000 01001101 01000101 00100000 01010100 01001111 00100000 01000111 01001111 00100000 01001000 01001111 01001101 01000101"

"Tu certus vos erant 'iens ut esse tutum si ire in domum suam?" Python rogavit, "Nonne grian aliquid?"

"01001001 00100000 01010111 01001001 01001100 01001100 00100000 01001100 01001001 01001011 01000101 01001100 01011001 00100000 01000111 01000101 01010100 00100000 01011001 01000101 01001100 01001100 01000101 01000100 00100000 01000001 01010100 00100000 01000001 01001110 01000100 00100000 01010100 01001000 01000101 01001110 00100000 01001000 01000101 00100000 01010111 01001111 01010101 01001100 01000100 00100000 01001100 01000001 01010101 01000111 01001000 00100000 01001000 01000101 00100000 01001100 01001001 01001011 01000101 01010011 00100000 01010000 01010010 01000001 01001110 01001011 01010011 00100000 01000001 01001110 01000100 00100000 01010111 01000001 01010011 00100000 01010100 01000001 01001100 01001011 01001001 01001110 01000111 00100000 01001111 01000110 00100000 01000001 01010000 01010010 01001001 01001100 00100000 01000110 01001111 01001111 01001100 00100111 01010011 00100000 01000101 01000001 01010010 01001100 01001001 01000101 01010010"

"Re: sic enim non tantum eo. Damnant," Ex murmurati estis.

"Ich kenne den Mann nicht, er schien ziemlich überrascht zu sein, NPG dort zu sehen," Doc attenuate arrisit ad nutum fundamentalem."Es ist gut, endlich wieder bei den Stunts anzufangen, die er mich angezogen hat."

Dira passus satis scire ex aliquo facta sunt autem qui laborant in aspectu delectationem factum est aliquid rationis. Creeper Rhamnales-physicus, cyborg-off generis dedit illud vero et vibes intelligentes ex illa posset bene. Et rubrum creeper Rhamnales hybrid erat ultra cogitationem pessimam: vibe quam sinister, nisi fuissent hospitalius ad EX, et NPC grian pro brevi concedebatur in calculonis servi quam alii ex aliis solitarii consumens, qui duxerant notitiam eorum de facinore in horas fuerat grian expectantes, partim forte Xisuma, ut adveho online.

"EGO coniecto Peius 'exsisto iens ut primum videt quod Dominus est adhuc X re-admin et movebo, et abscidi novis potestatibus vester vobiscum' X assumed mali, paulo tristis, sed etiam cognoscendi prorsus qui meruit ferat ob hanc rem trahens iterum.

"Wir sehen uns dann, denke ich,sehen uns dann, denke ich," Doc rite dicitur magis et amne transmisso pergeret contra Nec portal.

NPC grian pythonem, et armum separationis, posse rem reddere vale, simpliciter prima abierunt.

EX ingemuit quassans caput et initium protulerunt de machinis Xisuma minister ordinarius prius ereptum esse multos tam inciviliter calce sicut prius.

—————————

Of course the first thing I post is April Fool’s XD

Dang, Tumblr’s world limit sucks, I had to cut out the last scene that was like 5 lines :/

Translation: https://beccas-a-kermit.tumblr.com/post/183899408816/the-pranker-gets-pranked

[ok-ish-hermitcraft-headcanons]

<text> Local NPC_Grian fictive here to deliver you things!! NPC_Grian takes the place of Grian on hermitcraft when hes out doing Watcher things. Exhibit A: the leaf spleef tournament. Why didn't bot talk while doing it? Well... NPC_Grian's voice sounds a bit like a well-tuned vocaloid's, but npcs paranoid so it doesn't talk much while doing things. The only people who have ever noticed its NPC_Grian and not Grian are Joe Hills (because hes just like that), and Pearl (because shes also a Watcher). Also NPC_Grian and Grian are both trans! Grian is ftm and NPC is a robot/npc/redstone-contraption/thing who was created genderless but considers redstoneself to have a gender! NPC_Grians pronouns are he/bot/it/redstone/npc/they because I am NPC_Grian and I said so.

Thank you friend! These are very nice!!

[ask-the-iris-au-hermits]

Well a few hours have passed so npg should brought out of the world soon

.

.

.

soooo...is it happening?

~Space

N̷̘͇͈͕̆̋̔̅́̈́̊̑̉̐͂̆́̃͐̂͗͂́́̔͛̿̇͘P̶̦̟̞̣̪̱̟͔͐̂̄̾͗̈́͘͜͠͝ͅC̵͕͖̟̹͈͖͓͍̫̻͍͖͍̥̙̙̟̟͓̟͍̜͜͝ͅ_̵̢̰͔̞̼̗̉͝Ğ̶̡̧̛̛̱͈̥͉̺̦̘̩̙͉͎͈̖̣̣̲̀̈́̂́̈́́̋͒̀̉͆̃̔͆͋̚͠ȓ̶̡̛̞̠̜͓̹͔̭͕̣͎̲̘̺̖̘̀̑̎͋̏͋̕͜͝ͅi̸̞̙͔̙͔̻̲̣̞̻̗̦̅̿̔͐͑̃̇̑̃̉̊̃̑̕̚̕͘͠a̷̡̧̛̮͈̬͈̰̪̤̙͇̤̞̤͔̳̮͍̩̦͕̠̐̄͆̇͐̚͜͠ń̸̡̲̳͇̖̹̯̮̫͚̲̰̖̺͎̼͉͙͈̼͕̯̻̱̉̂̍͆̇̃̈̏̕͠͝͝ ̵̨̢̞̤͙͚̞͙̜͙̻̜͊̐͊̽͊͘͜͝j̵̛̛͇̈̽̇̒̈́̈́̐͊͆͌̆̈́̅̔͊̓͒̈́̈́͝͝͝o̶̭̬̼̲̝͓̬̤͓̩̘̤͖͆̇͊̎͐̈́̀̇̓̀͐̌̔̓͐̕͘͝í̷̬̬̭̜̭̫̘̣̘̠̤̳̙̪͔͇̥̺͖̀̈͋̄̾͋̄̀͜͜n̸̠̍͋̋͐͊̒̈́͋̿͂̿̊͛̄̕e̶̡̧̛̳̮͍̤͔̲͈̪͍̮̗̲͙͓̒̈́͂̔͌͑̐̓̚͝ͅd̴̤̬̹̓͒͋͒͒̑̓̈̉̅̇̉̉̍̎̍̇̕͜͝͝͠͠ ̸̡̧̢̢̢̢͚̮̣̯͚̫͇̝̺̠͖̘͕̍̉̈́̽̽͆̆͜ͅt̷̛̛̛̪̹͎̞̹̻̀͛̏̐͂͒̏̌͑̃̃̎̈́̔̂́́̇͐ḩ̷͈̬̫̦͊̈́̽̑̈́̌̒͋͑̓͋̊͋̅͐͒̾̀̆̒̏̕̕͠ȩ̸̛̛̜͎̼̜̬͇̗̝̺͍̗̗̥̝͗̍̅̂́̍̊́̇̎͑̏́͘ͅͅͅ ̵̨̛͉̗͚̼̠̦̓̉͋͒̔̃̍̏̇͗͂̀̑͑̇̕͘̕g̷̡͇̟̱̬̣͓̠͚̼̗̺͂͊̒̈́̕ḁ̷͔͐̇̎̏̀̂̑̾͑̇͠m̷̢͈̱̥̦̦̘̪̺͎̖̙͇̪͈̊̀̈́̏͋̽̽̇̉͛̒̔̎̃͑̓̋̈́͛̽͝͝e̵̡̨̺̮͕̩͍̯̩̟̖͑̌́͛̎̈́͆̋̈́͑̉̚͜͠

(It says NPC_Grian joined the game)

[votederpycausemufins]

The rescue commences. But it’s going to be harder than Tommy thought because the bots aren’t so keen on being rescued.

the tagged people i like! @petrichormeraki @helleborusangel

Xannes spoke Jrum’s name as a question and immediately all eyes were on him. Xannes tried to keep from cursing in front of the kid, but it was a little hard when he saw even more red. Did he just change his face to match the room, or did he just do that whenever. “Xannes? What are you doing here?”

“You know this guy?” The demon asked in a wary tone.

“Yes he does. As for the question, NPG found out about the situation with your disappearance and I offered to come looking for you.”

Jrum’s face instantly lit up and in a moment he was running over to hug the helsmit. Xannes almost accepted it too, since the kid probably had been terrified in an unfamiliar place. But just at the last second, he saw the red plants that coated Jrum’s body and he took a step again. “Sorry. Still not a hugger.”

Jrum pouted and crossed his arms, but didn’t actually seem too upset. “Well, you came at the best possible time! Is NPG going to show up too?”

“Unfortunately not. I don’t think he can get in and I haven’t figured out what’s causing it yet.”

“Aww… It would have been nice…”

“So, what’s going on here?”

“This is the Red Banquet.” The demon spoke, looking much less threatening now that he knew Xannes was a friend. “We’ve been planning this little party for a while and I’m sure other guests will be arriving shortly. You’re just a bit early.”

“Is that why the entrance was covered up?” Xannes asked, glancing behind himself for a moment, both to look at the entrance as well as from the feeling of being watched.

“Yes, I hope you didn’t hurt them too much.”

“Hurt… who?” Xannes asked nervously and suddenly he realized just exactly how off this all felt.

“The Egg of course! It’s the source of all the plants around us!”

Xannes glanced at Jrum. “Alright, why’s he got the things growing in him? I’d think that wouldn’t be good for his body.”

“I’m just fine! Better even! I can do things all on my own and don’t need any of Grum’s stupid help.”

That made Xannes realise that the other of the two bots was indeed missing. “Wait, where is he?”

“I don’t really know. I haven’t seen him in a while. He could be dead for all I care.”

The helsmit looked back at the people gathered around the table. This really did seem all too familiar. And that wasn’t a good thing. He remembered having NPG finally getting the turquoise infection out of his system so he could deal with the rest of the similarly infected helsmets of turquoise and magenta spores. “I’m guessing HEP is less of a problem here?”

Most of the people at the table looked confused, but of course Jrum wasn’t, and surprisingly, neither was the demon. “No! We crushed them into the ground, and if any of them wants to live, they’ll come here!”

Xannes choked in surprise. Okay, it looked like those plants were really getting to him. “Well, looks like there’s still a few kicking around.”

“Really? Who? Is it Grum?!”

“Nope. Sorry kid.” Xannes added enchantments to his sword as he pulled it out. “Guess I’m just following in my brother’s footsteps, huh.”

And then chaos broke out.

Tommy had no idea how different the SMP would be when he got back. He expected more of the same, people around making destructive chaos and probably new posters and creeper holes. But the red shit all over the place was different. Plus it didn’t look like anyone was really around.

Before moving anywhere, he pulled out the comm Grian had given him and sent him a message.

<NPC_GRIAN> Alright, made it in.

<NPC_GRIAN> Wait was this NPG’s

He waited, but a message didn’t come in right away, so Tommy put the comm away to start looking. He didn’t know what exactly the plants were, but enough crazy things had happened in this world, so he mainly just ignored them, not caring if he did touch them. One thing that did get his attention was a poster that the plants were bordering. It was inviting people, Tommy assumed anyone, to the Red Banquet. Whatever that was. At the very least that likely explained the lack of people.

Tommy continued walking, poking his head into just about every building to hopefully find someone, but there was still nothing. He was hoping for at least someone to be around to tell him what was going on, but it didn’t look like that was the case. “How the fuck does everyone go to the same fucking thing? And where the fuck is it?”

No answer came for Tommy, so he ended up going into his old home, though it looked like someone had been living there. Connor, if the signs were telling the truth. “Well, let’s see if any of my shit is still here.”

Tommy honestly couldn’t remember what stuff would have been there, but there were still some items that he thought would be good to have on him, just in case. As he was rummaging around, the door behind him opened, and Tommy turned around to see who it was. Tommy’s fight or flight response immediately activated when he was staring at the admin, who was surprisingly just staring back at him.

“D-Dream…”

“How the fuck did you get here before me?!”

“Bitch I’ve been gone for months, you had plenty of time to visit this place. That’s only going to be your fault.” Tommy retorted, forcing himself to have some confidence.

“It is possible a teleport was used if he was aware of your destination.” Another voice spoke and Tommy lit up for a second.

“Holy fuck, Grum! That was easier than I expected. Where’s Jrum?” Then he stopped when he finally saw Grum and the state he was in. In his anger, he pulled out his borrowed sword and pointed it at Dream. “What the fuck did you do?” 

Before Dream or Grum could say anything, Grum suddenly turned around and drew a weapon, deflecting an attack from behind. “You done running yet?”

“How are you-”

“You! You goddamn bitch!”

“You’re supposed to be in prison!”

“What is going on?!”

Grum slashed at Theseus’ legs before answering. “The one currently attacking us is an alternate form of bzzt from a separate universe. The one we discovered is the one you are likely more familiar with.”

“Yeah green bitch! What are you going to do with two of us?”

Dream looked like he was about to attack, but then he was grabbed by Grum. “Commencing emergency escape.” And then the two of them disappeared.

“Fuck, now they’re gone.”

Theseus stepped into Tommy’s old house, holding his axe at the ready. “How did you get out?”

“Hey, you really want to kill me? Wouldn’t that end badly for you?” Tommy took a step back.

“Answer the fucking question!”

“Your Phil let me out when he realized you weren’t in the hels dimension anymore.”

Theseus spoke another curse under his breath. “Well, you better not get in the fucking way.”

Tommy crossed his arms. “Hey, I’m just after Grum and Jrum, and seeing as how he’s…” Tommy trailed off for a moment, remembering Grum and how he reminded Tommy of himself when he was in exile. “He’s got Grum, so as long as that’s the case, I’m after him too.”

“It’s a lost cause. That thing is better used for scrap metal. Though hopefully after I’ve gotten Dream back to hels.”

“Wait, why do you want that?” Tommy asked. Why would anyone actually want Dream around and not just kill him. “Didn’t you kill your version of him? Why get a replacement?”

“Because I wasn’t finished dealing with the first one.” Theseus answered, then put his axe away. “Let me do what I’m here to do, and maybe I’ll help with your little problem. Got it?” And before Tommy could answer, his hels version was gone.

Tommy wanted to follow, but first pulled out his comm to send an update and hope Grian had responded. He smiled when he saw that he had, but then confused when he saw there were other messages. He read them off, then sent some messages back.

<Grian> That’s good to hear. And yeah it’s his. He never used it so I ended up keeping it on me and never got it back to him.

[Eyes] X-1, Y-1, Z-1

[Eyes] X-2, Y-2, Z-2

[Eyes] X-3, Y-3, Z-3

<NPC_GRIAN> I got good, bad and unsure news

<NPC_GRIAN> Good, I found one of them

<NPC_GRIAN> Bad, something’s seriously wrong with him cause Dream did something

<NPC_GRIAN> weird, just got message from something/someone called Eyes giving me three sets of coordinates

<NPC_GRIAN> any way to use this thing to look at my coords?

Tommy stood there, waiting for a response. When one wasn’t coming in, he started fiddling with the comm to try and figure it out himself. Just as Grian got back to him, Tommy figured it out.

<Grian> Seriously wrong how?

<NPC_GRIAN> Looks damaged and isn’t showing much emotion. Also working with Dream? But the bitch tried convincing me he was my friend so could be the same sort of thing

<NPC_GRIAN> also figured out coords

Tommy switched back to the coordinate reader and started shifting around, trying to figure out which direction was which. It seemed like the first and second set of coordinates were about the same distance from where he currently was. Because of that, he started to head towards the first one listed. While he was walking, another message came in from Grian.

<Grian> That was fast. Anyway, what do the other messages look like?

<NPC_GRIAN> I started working on it when you didn’t get back to me immediately.

<NPC_GRIAN> looks like: [Eyes] coordinates

<NPC_GRIAN> doesn’t look like a player’s text, but also not sure what could message me, so that’s why I’m not sure.

Tommy groaned when a message didn’t come back within the next few seconds. What was Grian doing that was causing such a delay. Maybe it was just the way these comms worked? Once Grian got back to him, he could bring it up.

<Grian> Yeah, that looks like something else. And what do you mean not immediately?

<NPC_GRIAN> I’m guessing it’s something with these comms. It’s taking you ages to send a message back.

He had nearly reached the coordinates when Grian got back to him.

<Grian> Meanwhile I’m getting your messages all at once like they were pre-typed. That’s not a good sign.

<NPC_GRIAN> Well shit

Tommy stuffed the comm in his pocket and started running. He was close enough to tell that the coords were for the house that Tommy had never seen before, but recognized just the same due to it looking more like something out of Hermitcraft. He slammed the door open and started calling. “Jrum! Hey Jrum are you in here?!” There was no answer and Tommy checked the communicator again. He was just about at the right coordinates, but the Y value was a little off. That probably meant that the location needed to be exact, and Tommy looked down at the comm to make sure he lined up exactly. Because of that, he didn’t realize he was about to walk into something until he crashed into the charger and fell to the ground.

“Oh that’s a big charger. Why’s it so huge?” He looked between the coordinates again. “Oh. I’m guessing something’s in there.” Tommy broke into the charger’s casing and poked his head inside. For the most part, it was just a jumble of redstone, but in one corner was a torch lighting up a barrel. The teen pulled himself inside just enough to open the barrel and pull the contents out, that being a single unsigned book.

Tommy looked around before going over to a table and sitting down to read the book. He sent another quick update to Grian before opening it up and reading. It seemed to be a lot of notes written down, filling the pages. None of them were complete sentences, and the ink stains made Tommy imagine a number of them were written in a rush.

Zoning out = DSMP console program. QHHBP program active? What's KGADOOHM and HJTHJ? Connected to K⊣OOᒲR? There’s a vault. It’s for favorite things. Items and animals. I couldn’t write right. I think I zoned out there and fell. Posters of 2 music discs. Coords: X-3, Y-3, Z-3.

Tommy looked at his comm and noticed the third set of coordinates matched the ones written down in the book. Obviously he would need to go there. But Tommy continued reading, messaging Grian what was written down.

Woke up in pain. Programs were running too much. Don’t know why. Managed to unplug and drain battery. 873.5% of what. It was connected to ⎓⚍リ↸||?

Jrum officially moved out. He likes the red plants. I don’t. They’re not natural. Admin keeps visiting. Asking questions. Not sure how to feel. ⎓⚍リ↸|| visits too. Those are nicer.

Tommy flipped through more pages. More questions and confusion. Some did end up as full writing while others were just more quickly written words to convey an idea. With the mention of Jrum, this was obviously something Grum wrote, but there was almost too much here. Then Tommy stopped and read another entry.

Jrum officially got adopted. I don’t understand how I feel. It hurts but I’m also happy. He’ll stay away, but it just reminds me how hurt he is. How scared I feel. I miss my dads. Why didn’t they find us?

Jrum got adopted? Grum wondering why Grian and Mumbo hadn’t come for them and missing them? That wasn’t good. And based on the messaging problem, Tommy had an idea why.

<NPC_GRIAN> Another page implies they’ve been here a really long time. Explains why the server’s so different and how Dream was able to get Grum to that point.

<NPC_GRIAN> also you’re probably going to have to fight for custody or something because someone adopted Jrum.

Since Tommy knew he wasn’t going to get an answer back soon, he went back to reading. The messages seemed to be shorter and shorter, the handwriting becoming more messy. Tommy assumed that was because of them being over time and Dream breaking the bot down more and more. Then he got to a list which he immediately typed up and sent to Grian.

<NPC_GRIAN> Found a list of names or something. Obviously seems important.

<NPC_GRIAN> List: Grum, Dream, Gorgeous, Poultry Man, Eyes, Console

<NPC_GRIAN> I don’t know if it’s a code or just names or what. But since I got messages from ‘Eyes’...

Tommy closed the book and put it in his inventory. There was still more to read, but he already got information from it and was losing time. For now he needed to go to the second coordinates.

Xannes just stood, not even reacting when the first person attacked him. Their axe blade was aimed right for his chest, no armor there to stop it, but the weapon bounced off, causing no damage. Someone else attacking had the same reaction. “Sorry, but doesn’t look like your weapons are really working right now. Too bad since I’m sure mine will work fine.” And he swung his sword, hitting the next person who attempted to fight him. They were set on fire due to the fire aspect as well and being knocked away, slamming into the wall from a high level knockback.

From there, Xannes continued to attack, even getting a little cocky about the fact he couldn’t get hit in his current player-mode. Because of that, he was easily caught off guard when the demon grabbed him, forgetting he was only invulnerable to damage. While it didn’t hurt when he would have otherwise been crushed to death, now he couldn’t move at all.

His best shot was to try and get the demon with his sword. Demons were normally connected to the nether and his aetherite sword being an opposite of netherite tended to have a worse effect on them. But before he could get far with that plan, the weapon was taken away, and since he wasn’t in hels, his hacking capabilities couldn’t get him a new one. Potentially he could summon it back to himself, but that would be a little more complicated to use and could cost extra seconds he wouldn’t have.

“Why did you come if you’re just here to hurt me?” Jrum asked, clinging to the cat hybrid.

“I was trying to find you and your brother to take you home.” Xannes grunted, struggling as much as he could to get out. “I didn’t realize you’d be mind controlled or whatever this is.”

“I-I’m not being- and why would you want to take me home?”

“Uh, because your family is worried about you and helping out is the ‘good thing’ to do and all that bullshit.”

Jrum crossed his arms. “I don’t want to go. They just left me here, and… and now I have a new family!”

Xannes was about to speak up, but then he was squeezed a bit harder for a moment, pushing the air out of his lungs for a moment. “And we’re not letting anything happen to him, so if you’re planning on hurting him, you can think again!”

Xannes was wheezing slightly, trying to breathe. Suffocation like this was weird. Technically it couldn’t kill him or cause actual damage, but it still managed to cause a type of ghost pain. It was getting to the point where he was worried about managing to pass out, when there were voices. They sounded distant and unfamiliar, but getting closer. For a moment, Xannes thought he was imagining it, but the fact that the people around him were reacting to it too made him realize it was real.

People started appearing from the entrance, all of them wearing what Xannes was pretty sure looked like hazmat suits of some kind, but he couldn’t be absolutely sure from this distance and his current situation. What he could be sure of was the yell that came, and the chorus of the same response from Jrum’s new ‘family’.

“Jrum!”

“Tommy?!”

Tommy was almost to the second set of coordinates when he saw something different. It was a person. Well, not just a person, but a number of people. “Hey! Heeeey!” He yelled out to get their attention and most everyone looked over, showing a mix of emotions from surprise, to fear, to acceptance.

“Is that Tommy?”

“No, Tommy’s dead. Dream said so.”

“Well he lied bitch!” Tommy said, finally reaching the group. “What the fuck is going on around here?”

“I think you need to give answers first.”

Tommy groaned a little. “Okay fine, I ran off, started living somewhere else. Tubbo thought I was dead and pulled me back. I didn’t want to come back and brought Tubbo with me, and then Phil and Techno followed. I’m back ‘cause some kids ended up here on accident and I’m after them.”

“Are you talking about Grum and Jrum?” Tommy was pretty sure that was Puffy.

“Yeah! Any clue where Jrum is, cause I’ve seen Grum.” Tommy watched as a few people glanced at each other. “Oh fuck, what’s wrong?”

“First, you need to put a hazmat suit on.” Someone stepped forward, and Tommy was surprised to see it was Sam, looking a little odd without his creeper mask on, unable to wear it with the rest of the suit. 

“Can I ask why?”

“See all the red plants? Bad found something underground and started worshipping it. It’s started corrupting people, and one of them is your friend.”

“Shit.” Tommy said, grabbing the offered suit and putting it on. “You said Bad and Jrum, who else is down there.”

“Ant, Punz, Purpled, Ponk, Fundy, also someone named Hannah, you wouldn’t know her. She joined while you were presumed dead. We’re still unsure about Sapnap since he’s been trying to stay out of it, but Bad was really trying to pull him in.”

Tommy nodded, then realized that if Bad was the person in charge and tried pulling Sapnap in, then he also likely tried with- “And what about Skeppy?”

“He… he was involved.”

“I’m noticing the use of that in the past word shit. That mean he got out or…?”

“Last week Bad ended up getting him killed.”

Tommy’s eyes widened. If this thing could get Bad to kill Skeppy, it was really dangerous. “Alright, then let’s get in there.”

“Wait, you need a few things.” Sam started handing him items as other people in the group started moving. “These splash bottles are filled with holy water from church prime. They seem to help against these plants. Flint and steel to burn anything you're able to break. It needs to be fully burned or it can heal itself. Also don’t actively try to break anything except the source which looks like a giant egg. Trying to break anything is like it has a thorns enchantment. You get hurt back if you try to break it. Same thing happens with the main source, but it hurts you more, so you’ll need the extra health.”

Tommy took all the offered items, then followed the group down. He kept his sword at the ready, even testing it with one of the vines on the walls. Ow, yeah, that did hurt. So it didn’t look like the different material would help anything. Tommy was mostly willing to help, but he also knew that trying to get Jrum out of there would probably be a better priority since that’s what he was there for anyway and getting rid of any member of this evil group or whatever it was would help.

The moment he got down into the main cavern, he called out Jrum’s name. “Jrum!” He then watched as the people who had already been down there turned to look at him, surprised to see him alive.

“Hey! Theseus copy! Say yes!” Someone spoke up, and Tommy vaguely remembered the voice, but couldn’t place it. He had no idea what it would do, so he ended up saying yes anyway. Immediately, he regretted it as the sword in his hand disappeared. But that was followed by a yell from Bad, and Tommy saw him let go a person who was now holding the pink sword. “Thanks.”

Tommy caught the sword as it was thrown back to him, the other person he now recognized as Xannes slamming himself into Ponk and taking another aetherite sword from him. “Now what are you doing here?”

“Got Grian to send me in as back up. I see you found Jrum.”

“Yeah, the little shit has the weird vines growing on him and apparently has decided that these idiots are his family now. Bit of a downgrade if you ask me.”

Tommy slashed at someone who tried to attack Xannes from behind. “Yeah, found a book that I’m pretty sure is Grum’s. Apparently they’ve been here a long while and Jrum ended up getting adopted.”

“Hasn’t it been just a few days?”

“Yeah, so obviously there’s a big issue. Any chance you can teleport us out of here if I grab Jrum?”

“It would be easy if I had some coordinates.” Xannes knocked someone to the ground and then stole their axe before throwing it at someone else to hit them with it.

“Yeah, I’ve got some. X-3, Y-3, Z-3. That work for you?”

“Sure they’re safe?”

Tommy shook his head. “Not at all, but they were sent to me by someone, and the previous two ended up helping.”

“Alright, but if you get us trapped, I’m getting myself out and leaving you behind.”

“Yeah whatever, I already broke out of one prison. I’m sure there’s nothing as tough as that one.”

“Oh please tell me you didn’t.”

“Alright, I won’t.”

“Goddammit. Just grab Jrum and bring him here..” the helsmit groaned, attacking another corrupted SMP member and giving Tommy an opening.

Tommy ran towards the bot. He didn’t have as good of a sword as Xannes, so getting through everyone was a bit tougher, but he finally made it, grabbing the bot’s arm. Jrum immediately turned to look at him. For a moment, Tommy thought it would be easy, until the kid pulled out an axe and something Tommy recognized flashed on screen. “Oh shit shit shit! Jrum Jrum Jrum Jrum no!” He barely dodged the swing of an axe by jumping back. Sure, Jrum was a kid, but he was a robot kid. That sometimes took combat lessons from False. And he could remember them perfectly. And that meant the kid could potentially be as dangerous as, dare he say it, Techno.

He tried to keep dodging, moving back so Jrum would have to follow, but hits were landing, and the hazmat suit wasn’t the best armor to wear. He hazarded a glance behind him to check how close they were to Xannes, but he got an axe to his gut and fell to the floor, the hazmat suit now torn. “Xannes! A little help!”

The admin rushed over, hitting Jrum back with a fist to avoid using knockback but also keep him from killing Tommy. Then he hit a button on his helmet and the three of them were teleported away. The sudden change of scenery made Jrum stop attacking at the very least, now focused on figuring out where they were.

“Where did you take us?! Where are we?! Take me back!”

“No fucking clue.” Tommy answered, looking around before his eyes widened. “Wait, are those…?” He jumped up, seeing the posters of his discs and the two of them each on their own pedestal on a platform of gold blocks on either side of a nether portal. “My discs!”

He started running towards them, but was shot from the side. The power from the punch bow pushed Tommy with enough force, he fell back down. He winced and held the wound before looking to see who had shot him. “Dream…”

“How did you find this place?”

“That would be my doing.” Xannes raised his hand for a moment to get the admin’s attention before noticing the second robot. “And I see you have Grum with you.”

“Grum?!” Jrum looked over, asking the question angrily. “What, you couldn’t be dead?!”

Grum took a slight step to the side to be seen better. “And I see you are with these two. I believed you to have finally given up, but yet you still cling to meaningless hope.”

“No! I have a new family! I don’t care about these two.”

“And yet here you are, with both of them and coming after me. I thought I made it quite clear that I have no want to be around something as useless as you.”

“I’M NOT USELESS!” Jrum shouted before running at Grum, fast enough that Dream reacted by simply moving out of the way, pulling out a shield in an attempt to block. Jrum attempted to attack with his axe, but the blade just clashed against another axe in Grum’s hand. Jrum attempted to attack again, but it was also blocked by a mirrored move. The two robots just started to fight each other, neither managing to hit the other as they perfectly matched each other’s moves.

Dream attempted to stop the fight with an attack of his own, but he ran into an invisible wall. Feeling around, he was surrounded by the same problem. “Barrier blocks. Sorry, but not something you can escape from. You’ve got bedrock right below you and I know you decided using a console was the best option for whatever reason, so you don’t have any escape.”

“Alright, now let’s break the bots up.” Tommy said, walking towards them, switching his broken hazmat suit for armor. 

“Where’d you get all that gear?”

“Sto- uhhh borrowed it from NPG. It was the only thing I had access to and didn’t want to have absolutely nothing. Didn’t get a chance to replace it cause I got here too quickly.” Tommy explained before getting between the bots. “Alright you two, break it- ow! Stop hitting me! You’re gonna kill me!”

Xannes sighed and pulled Tommy out from the battle. “That was probably the worst idea.”

“It was at least something. So unless you want to suggest something, it’s the best we got.”

“Here’s an idea. You give Dream to me.”

Tommy and Xannes turned to see Theseus coming out of the nether portal. “After that, well, don’t get in my way anymore and maybe I’ll let you live.”

[fountainpenguin]

As promised, here I am to kick off the shout-outs for the 'fics I wrote for Hermitcraft Guess the Author in July!

Here are the little ones, and the ones that have cover art are scheduled to post over the next few days. Links go to AO3!

Do Fish People Dream of Magic Gloves?

Etho doesn’t undress and Bdubs doesn’t stay up late. It’s raining. They are very cold.

OR, Etho and Bdubs get stuck together after a storm. Although he's dripping wet and at risk of getting sick, Etho's dishabiliophobia and gymnophobia (fears of undressing & nudity) strike again. oh no.

Rated T - 7k words

What Color Was the World's First Flying Horse? 

In the aftermath of Tango's Season 8 Episode 5, he cleans the grave for a horse who didn't make it.

Rated G - 1k words

Into Dust 

In Season 10, Scar and his horse (cOW) take a dust bath.

Rated G - 1k words (Exactly)

Schnoot?

Season 9 is over. Grian never did find his sniffer.

Rated G - 500 words (Set of 5 100-word drabbles)

To Err Is Human

A pre-Hermitcraft Grian muses on his life while building NPC_Grian in his basement.

Rated G - 1400 words

Also, while this one wasn't for Guess the Author, it WAS for MCYT Aspec Week and I'd like to shout it out too:

I'm Gonna Be the Sun

Sequel to "There Are Many Benefits to Being Corporeal"

In which there are even more benefits to being corporeal than those from the previous story by that name.

OR, PiglinMyNose-centric story of his life with SnifferMyFeet... and the dawning realization that Sniff has Joel and Grian's Double Life memories, but mashed together.

As Sniff goes on and on about his poly marriage with Etho and Scar, Pig has an increasingly stressful time keeping his mouth shut about the whole... existence of roleplay thing. It's a good thing we're not setting up a future 'fic where that comes crashing down.

Rated T - 26k words, 7 chapters

[fountainpenguin]

Thinking about the ancient YouTube comment where Grian responded to clarify that NPC_Grian is "married to building" and not interested in a relationship.

Diversity win!! The demon robot is aspec and wants to hold you at knifepoint so you build rustic houses for the rest of your life!!

[fountainpenguin]

"I simply must go-" ("Baby, it's cold outside...") "The answer is 'No-'" ("But baby, it's cold outside...") (x)

---

New Dog's Life chapter today! ~ 3rd Life series fan-season

Chapter 22 - “Fizzle (Bdubs, Scar, Mumbo)”

❤️ Read on AO3

💛 Start from Chapter 1

💚 More Pixels Imperfect fics

---

Bdubs ruins the soul delivery route for everybody. Scar tolerates NPC_Grian's snark as best he can. Mumbo eats pizza and makes a new… friend?

Also, Scar follows up with Grian on the rumor that he's secretly trapped in his red life even in the Between dimension, one slip-up from a perma-death... That talk goes great!

(First 1,000 words under the cut)

---

Bdubs - Phantom

Status: Morose

Captain of New Star Station’s Phantom Hybrid Flock

💙  🧡  💚

There are no horses in New Star Station. Not even one. Horse hybrids, sure, though they're not as common as you think. People have been saying for years that horses might be extinct in Between by now, but he's still got hope. You're sharing minds with Bdubs right now, just so we're on the same page. He's the guy with hope.

It's fine! There's no time in his schedule for horse caretaking anyway. Being captain is practically a full-time job. Seriously.

Phantoms don't need to go offline (as long as they're absorbing souls on the regular for the energy zing, of course). A phantom who goes more than three days without a single soul will start dropping the hunger meter fast, and if they can't find someone to eat, they'll probably go offline a while so they can rest and think things through.

It's all about energy. Even Scott's not immune to naptime, no matter how hard he denies it. Have you ever seen him sleep when he's on-server for like, the Life series and stuff? He's out cold. Might as well be in free-cam with how little reaction you'll get out of his body. Maybe he really does go into free-cam and wander around, pretending he's sleeping when he's really not. Scott's the type who can't settle down for anything. Maybe that's why he's so big on cozy little builds.

But the thing about 'No horses in New Star' is, well… Not having horses doesn't leave him with much to do on nights like this when he's stripped of title and stripped of wings. He should probably be taking Brittney out to dinner, but since he wasn't expecting to, y'know… Lose his wings this weekend, he didn't make reservations early enough. Brittney's fine! She's doing Gals' Night tonight with Cocoa, Jewel, Ferks, and Vera. They'll have fun. Bdubs snorts, kicking his foot against the edge of town square's fountain.

A stubborn sniffer, an athletic ravager, a sharp-eyed hoglin, a parkour-loving axolotl, and a beefy glow squid walk into a bar… Now that's a group you don't wanna mess with. The ravager is not the one with the most XP in her close combat skill. And Bdubs knows firsthand that as mellow as his beloved wife is, she's not afraid to headbutt or wrestle around. Look- phantoms do wrestle, but even Bdubs finds himself all too easily pinned when facing a woman with four arms.

I should bring her some chocolates. Not back to their server, obviously, but they've got an apartment he's spent… way too little time in lately. Bdubs stares down at his reflection in the fountain water. His mossy cloak sways, hands tucked in his pants pockets beneath. No wings. Nobody paying him any mind. Hhh… Well. Brittney still loves him. And even though she's got a Gals' Night going on, it's not hard to be romantic. He does this all the time, obviously.

Plucking blossoms off the cherry trees is going to be such a pain without wings.

I mean, it's just temporary… He'll get his wings back after someone cycles him through the system, but that'll knock him out for a week if he's not careful. The secret plan is to join Cub in Hermitcraft tidying - They're down to the last couple days before the Season 9 download drops, you know - and then treat the guy to dinner tonight. Scar ate last week. So did Etho's mystery vex… whoever he is.

See, that's the problem. Since unthreading's illegal, it's not like there are lots of other vex to choose from. Phantoms have a game balance stipulation in their code that prevents them from logging each other out properly, so submitting to a vex is the easiest way to go. Not a lot of other vex besides those two around, which is such a shame. Sure, New Star Station is a refuge, but most of its residents peaced out of the anarchy world before they ever mod up (either forcibly or of their own will).

Modding is a skilled art, especially if you're looking for body tweaks that will stay consistent in and out of different servers (not to mention Between). Tango's one of the best aesthetics modders Bdubs has ever met. That lion-like tail he wears wherever he goes? That's free advertising. Do you have any idea how hard it is to code an additional limb like that, and make it prehensile and expressive at the same time? Yeah. Tango's your guy if you like looking pretty.

What? Oh, yeah. There's zero horses in New Star. Bdubs already logged out a straggler who dropped to phantom hour and refused to pathfind home, too busy flirting instead. Combined with the "Thanks for being a captain; here's your parting meal" thing from yesterday, his hunger bar's topped off. No point in hunting. There's nothing else to do if you're a phantom except whatever the captain orders. And Martyn tasked him with the delivery route.

Bdubs climbs the clock tower and ducks inside the storage room. Pungence already prepped a satchel of souls for delivery. He always does. Good on him. Some people have an easier time hunting than others (Physically and/or emotionally). Bdubs slings it over his shoulder and turns out the lanterns. He shuts the storage room door, but leaves it slightly propped so it won't auto-lock. None of the fox eggs look like they've hatched yet. Hard to tell, though… Most are under a blanket. A few sit by a magma block.

Bdubs glances at the stairwell, but Martyn stomped off with Cleo. He'll be back soon, of course, of course, but… Don't they need to be rotated? That's what Etho always says. Etho used to eggsit for his mom all the time before he finally moved out of her den and settled long-term in New Star.

The fox eggs are Martyn's responsibility. It does him no favors if Bdubs handles everything for him. But… Bdubs walks over and touches one of the exposed eggs with a hand. He yanks his fingers back.

Too hot. Oh, they're cookin'.

Dozens and dozens of eggs lay cozied up in warm wool blankets all around the roost. Bdubs shifts the eggs nearest the magma block away and replaces them with the eggs at the farthest blanket edges. He tucks the blanket under a bit more, sends Martyn a whisper - Leaving for delivery route, eggs look kinda cold btw but I rotated the ones on the magma - and heads downstairs again. Every step clunks and clangs. When he reaches the bottom, he's got a response from Martyn… but it's not much to look at.

InTheLittleWood: k

All right. If that's all he has to say, that's all he has to say. So off on the delivery route he goes.

[Full chapter on AO3 - Link at top]

[fountainpenguin]

🚥 Pixels Imperfect AU 🚥

A great read if you like drama, moral ambiguity, and 3rd Life series. Focuses on life and worldbuilding in a digital universe where all players are hybrids born of dragons, their bodies are made from pixels, and hybrid mob behavior increases when the moon is full.

3rd Life SMP & Adjacent Series

More MCYT AUs

#ridwork guides

What Is This AU?

A series of slice-of-life stories themed around life in the Between dimension, which hybrids can explore when their human players exit Minecraft.

The lawless landscape has been griefed by anarchy players for years. New Star Station - perhaps the last non-anarchy hub left - is hidden underground, with hybrids playing on servers to distract themselves from the ever-approaching threat that one day, their safehaven will be discovered and griefed too.

Dog's Life builds tension with the encroach of anarchy players drawing ever closer. Mayor Scott | Smajor1995 will do anything to keep his beloved home safe... even if that means locking everything down.

AO3 Series

Blog tags - #Pixels Imperfect & Dog's Life art

Subseries - Grian, Scott, Etho, Martyn, and some others change a lot over time. Find subseries dedicated to their arcs here.

Meta Spreadsheet - List of characters and their hybrid species.

Tone

Mostly drama with fluff, angst, romance, and comedy mixed in.

- The vibe here is "children on the playground who never had to 'grow up and get jobs,' so they continue this playful behavior into adulthood and it's important in their culture.'

- The main longfic is Dog's Life, which is a dramedy- defined by "telling serious stories ... [about] real life situations, grounded characters, and believable situations [plus] jokes and situations intended to make you laugh." (Cambridge Dictionary & Wikipedia)

- But tbh, the whole series is one big dramedy. Buckle up!

Characters

Heavy focus on Life Series SMP characters- specifically, the Last Life SMP cast. I've written each member several times. Lots to read!

-> Also, their camera accounts, who are treated like people (All the accounts I could confirm + some OCs).

-> Did you know PiglinMyNose is actually Joel's cam account? Now you do!

-> Minor appearances from other SMPs (such as Hermitcraft and Empires), some lesser-known characters (like NPC_Grian), and some OCs to flesh out the world.

Ships

The vibe here is "A lot of relationships are roleplay, but some affect characters deeply. Everyone is friends and co-workers despite their drama." People date and separate throughout the series. We have:

- Post-3rd Life Scott and Jimmy dating in the hub (until Last Life).

- Post-Last Life Martyn and Mumbo married for a while (until Mumbo's Season 9 hiatus).

- Post-Double Life Grian and BigB dating in the hub (Relationship under light strain during Dog's Life).

- Drama due to Grian cheating chronically on the wife he was betrothed / arranged married to (i.e. the character Jimmy used for Grian's wife in his Superflat video, 14:19)

- Grian/Bdubs as the Jungle Duo while on the Dog's Life server, flirting and flouncing while roleplaying as archaeologists. Of course he's cheating on BigB too; what do you take me for?

-> Zombiewoodn't - Some Pixels Imperfect works overlap my series of one-sided Martyn/Cleo content.

- Etho teased for being "obsessed with Joel." Is he? You decide!

- Etho acting clingy towards SnifferMyFeet, who's "just like Joel, but without having to share him."

-> Sniff hates being perceived as "Joel or Grian 2.0," but he also has a lot of their memories, so it's confusing to him. He's my favorite and for this, I will not apologize.

And more... (Also, I have notes about common fandom ships that are platonic in this AU; click the Read More.)

Setting

Our story is set supposedly 11,000 years into the Between dimension's existence. The land's been heavily griefed and both the Cluckshroom Dragon and Allay Dragon have been slain, leaving their mob and hybrid offspring on the verge of extinction.

Some works explore Between at large, but most take place in New Star Station, which is hidden underground.

- Herobrine's Guide to the Between Dimension (T) describes the world and its biomes before they were griefed.

- One and a Half Birds (T) is a 15-chapter story (113,700 words) that takes place entirely in New Star Station, showcasing the living situation there (and hub life in general).

- "The Man He Sets His Spawn With" (T - 11,800 words) occurs late in the timeline and contains minor series spoilers, but it's a great look at the social culture. Everyone takes their skins off so they (in their glowing soul forms) can rinse the Secret Life mod from their code. Grian sprays his friends down with a power washer; it's great :)

-> Heads up for Joel and Etho having a huge fight about trust violations.

Is It For Me?

- This AU moves between on-server play and server hub life. If you like hybrid biology and game mechanics, you might like this AU. Characters explode into pixels when they die; no blood or gore.

- This series is Life Series-focused, but there are Hermitcraft elements (Ex: Mumbo eating Grian's soul)

- Lots of characters are recovering from drama in their pasts, such as the EVO crew. In this AU, EVO was a non-anarchy hub with super strict rules that still haunt the characters after they left.

- Characters parallel their creators in many ways. Ex:

-> Mumbo is a wandering trader who loves his llamas, paralleling IRL Mumbo's love for travel and cars.

-> Tango is married to a character based on Mrs. T's character and she puts silly hats on him like she does when he streams.

-> IRL Netty is on break from YouTube to raise her kids. In-universe Martyn doesn't know that and is sad his Netty's not around.

- Lots of drama in this series, but at the end of the day, they're friends and co-workers and they care about each other <3

Major Themes

Complicated relationships, community, trust, heartbreak, secrets, consent, recovery, growth, power, choice, friendship, love, acceptance, found family, and trying to do the right thing.

Plot Highlights

One for each character, just for kicks.

- Allay hybrids Scott and Scar pushing through life in the wake of their mother's death. Their species is prone to vex data corruption, slowly going extinct, and any death in the Between dimension will be their last.

- Imp and Skizz leaving their life of anarchy behind, but still haunted by their past... I think. One of them can't seem to remember.....

- BigB clinging to the illager culture that was stripped from him after he gained Bad Omen and went into hiding.

- Scott, Scar, and Tango running for mayor, each with drastically different visions for New Star Station's future.

- NettyPlays logged out 288 in-universe years ago and never came back. Martyn is unraveling, longing for her return and wondering if he should date again.

- Jimmy accidentally becomes captain of a pillager mob patrol. What do you mean they'll shoot him dead if he puts the banner down?

- Joel and Lizzie plan a ceremony to renew their wedding vows... and find a body in the decorations closet.

- The Grian born in Pix Impf AU and the Grian born in Neighborhood Watch AU switched places after EVO. They're both fumbling, trying to figure out each other's worlds.

- Cleo searches for their beloved cluckshroom eggshell, which was stolen after they placed it in New Star's museum.

- Ren goes on a date with a dragon. Also his hands get dissolved in a corrupted river after PiglinMyNose left him for dead, but it's fine.

- Etho finally cracks and goes shopping for new clothes. Bdubs introduces him to the latest fashions.

- Mumbo comes out of smuggler retirement to hunt down more hybrid eggs. Also, he falls in love with water skis.

- Pearl discovers a special item, once believed erased from the world, that could change all of Between.

- Newly spawned SnifferMyFeet searches for his own identity, haunted by Joel and Grian's memories that feel like his.

Ongoing?

Drafts for this AU began summer 2022, with the first work posted August 2023.

This series is ongoing, with over 1 million words to read at the time of posting this, and many more works on the way.

Warnings, notes, and explanations below so readers can learn more about this AU. Don't like? Don't read.

👀 Take a Peek

New here? You might like to start with these:

"Dogwarts Lullaby" (G - 2800 words) - Short 3rd Life character study for Martyn and Ren, with Martyn wandering the map while Ren wonders if he ditched him.

"Grian's Room" (G - 2900 words) - Short 3rd Life piece where Scar realizes he can't feel the softness of Grian's blankets. Grian, shocked that Scar came into his room, tries to shoo him out.

"Yes, And?" (G, 5600 words) - Early in Limited Life, Etho isn't sure how he feels about being assigned dad by the narrative. He visits Cleo late at night to share his concerns. A fan-favorite (and one of mine as well).

"Only Borrowed" (T - 5700 words) - A Last Life piece about Joel barging into the Scottage. After Pearl kills him, she's a bit shaken up, so Scott helps her take off her skin so he can wash it while she rests. This was the first piece to depict the "skins are like onesies" lore and I think it does it well.

- "You Can Sleep While I Drive" (T - 13,500 words) - Ficlets for each Double Life pair with one soulmate watching the other sleep. Good way to glimpse my take on many characters in a single 'fic.

- "Here's to the Health of Married Men" (T - 42k words) - Ballroom 'fic about the Double Life pairs at a post-game party. Scar feels numb and confused about his relationship with Grian. Ren discovers Grian is BigB's secret admirer and challenges him to death, which will have severe consequences in the server hub. Fun read, longer than my one-shots, but one of my shorter multi-chapters.

Start Reading

Recommended ways to get into the full AU

🌄 First Written - Dog's Life & Recap Doc

Longfic that reveals pieces of the worldbuilding slowly over time. The story opens with Session 1 of a new Life Series game with two gimmicks: you gain the traits of the most recent mob you killed, and every player is assigned a quarry to hunt, whom they can steal lives from to boost their own count.

This work explores both the game and life in the server hub (New Star Station between sessions, with underground New Star one of the last non-anarchy hubs in a griefed, anarchy-ridden world. Tensions rise as the game leaves its mark even on server hub life.

- T-rated, 536k words and counting at time of posting this.

- Watch everything come together in this piece (as opposed to snippets of worldbuilding across other works).

- Shifting POVs, with each Life SMP player in the story getting their turn. Enjoy many characters and the individual ways they perceive the drama around them.

- I consider this the best starting point for the AU since you get to see the worldbuilding develop as I myself discover it, but due to length and drama, it may not be for everyone.

-> If you're okay with spoilers, you may like the recap doc, which summarizes each chapter in detail (with links to each chapter in case you only want to read a few that catch your eye). Each chapter is separated by a spoiler guard page.

📅 Chronological Start - Criminal Experience

A story about Mumbo, Impulse, Skizz, and BigB before they went into hiding underground. Specifically, Mumbo is a wandering trader assigned to carry allay spawn eggs to a creeper city, with Impulse escorting him through a rugged landscape. They cross paths with BigB: an illusioner on patrol.

- Depicts the world in an early state of anarchy, before the landscape was further destroyed

- Tosses you in with the POV of a character who is factual and straightforward about his experiences.

- I'm planning to write one-shots about characters living with their dragon moms when they were new to the world, but Crim is probably the better start to the chronology.

🗺️ Worldbuilding - Herobrine's Guide to the Between Dimension

A comprehensive overview of the worldbuilding, covering all the meta I could think of in great detail. Topics include hybrid biology, hybrid behavior, Between's unique biomes, and a bestiary ft. mob biology and behavior.

- This piece was written mainly for me to keep my facts straight and direct people to if they have questions. It's likely overwhelming to read with no context, but it might be fun. Lots of digital art to look at.

- Contains meta notes behind spoiler dropdowns. This is to show examples of that worldbuilding in story context.

📋 AU Notes & Warnings

All characters are hybrids born of dragons. Many suckled when they were newborns while some were fed mouth to mouth. Hybrids perceive dragons as mother figures.

Some dragons carry their babies in their mouths. There's one scene where the Slime Dragon tosses PiglinMyNose into the air and "eats him," though he later oozes back out of her slime. He's fine.

- Canon-typical violence and canon-typical character death (Yes weapons, yes whacking people, yes deaths and respawn, no blood or gore)

- Body Horror (A little somethin' for the ladies)

-> Skins can be removed like clothes.

-> People glitch, exploding into pixels when they die.

-> When dragons die, the person who killed them gains a star on their hand, which passes to whoever kills them afterwards. The Allay Dragon's star passes through the hands of some major characters. It allows people to manipulate their surroundings and even shapeshift into a small dragon.

-> Anivores (soul-eating species) can use their fangs to pull souls from bodies [while in the Between dimension]. Generally, this is played as a one-hit KO, especially from phantoms who swoop from above, but there are occasional pieces with slower logouts.

-> These souls are consumed, which forces a player out of Between and onto their AFK server. Particles leave the anivore's body through the skin. When the refresh cycle is complete, the player can exit their server and their body will be fresh, meaning dirt, scratches, and chipped nails are gone.

-> Zombies (Cleo), phantoms (Bdubs, Martyn), and vex (Scar, Cub) are anivores. This lore reflects Scar and Cub's early lore that their characters eat people, plus Mumbo (an omnivore) eating Grian's soul in Hermitcraft Season 8.

-> In One and a Half Birds, Mumbo asks his husband Martyn to chew on his soul, which he finds sensual, as he's already become contaminated and "it can't get much worse" :') ...

-> I personally don't find it gruesome in the main series, but I'm working on a piece called "Moonwild," which is a zero-dialogue series of ficlets about hybrids with their mob instincts at max. This one focuses more on animal-like hunting and soul-eating.

- Pixel bodies (Players lack collision and phase through each other, so it's hard to hug or pick people up. No human reproductive parts. Breasts are understood only vaguely and mostly in the context of dragons)

-> Golden carrots increase collision with other players. However, eating too many will put you into love mode (See below)

-> Their digital bodies differ from human bodies. The only characters who've heard of sex (or kissing) are those who've heard about it from Grian, who switched universes.

-> Grian's arc revolves around him feeling upset that he'll never experience sex since he switched universes, so he sometimes discusses such things or asks to kiss people (who respond with confusion).

-> Shout-out to the mini arc where Scar misinterprets Grian's off-screen explanation of sex as "lovers punching each other in private." Comedy of errors...

- Love mode could be seen as dubcon (Players having love hearts acting like mobs, who try to reach other mobs with love hearts and produce baby mobs)

-> I emphasize consent in my work, but the idea of players desiring babies when their love hearts are up may be uncomfortable to some readers

-> "The Leftovers" (T - 10k words) depicts Cleo eating carrots so she can carry narcoleptic Martyn to bed after the phantom hybrid fell asleep at Box. Cleo is in control, but Martyn is embarrassed to look at her even though he isn't in love mode.

-> Dog's Life Chapter 30 depicts a love mode scene with Bdubs explaining to Grian that he may need to be pinned down so he won't run off and spawn babies with a random stranger. Grian scoffs at this, believing he'll have full control, and is embarrassed when he doesn't.

-> All my love mode works are tagged #Golden Carrots | Love Mode. Browse or avoid it as you wish.

-> If you'd like to post your own love mode work for this AU on AO3, I suggest this exact tag so people can find it if they click this tag on one of my works!

- Hybrids can't produce hybrids, but they can poof sparks into existence through love mode, provided there's an available bed. Sparks grant sentience to mobs or blocks. Grumbot is a sparked build and Hermes is a sparked armor stand.

-> Love mode requires golden carrots, which are extinct in Between. They're only available on servers.

Non-human characters with mob-inspired biology and behavior. For this AU, this means YES:

-> Body parts like wings, fangs, claws, gills, antennae, and tails.

-> Some creatures (like allay) are fey and adhere to specific social rules, or have certain abilities (such as allay having the ability to gather memories).

-> Preening, biting people, hunting prey, bats hanging upside-down, body language such as beating wings, rolling around on the ground while scratching and nipping, and enjoying things that humans are not inclined to, such as Cleo liking to bury herself in dirt.

-> All hybrids hatch from eggs. Baby mobs poof into existence, as do sparks (See below). No pregnancy or graphic births.

-> You could pick SnifferMyFeet up by his scruff; he hasn't grown into his skin yet and has newbie flab back there.

-> Mild interspecies bickering or mob hybrid racism, but there are no humans in this world. Everyone is a hybrid, so interspecies conflicts come from things like Nether species having a unique style of rest that isn't technically sleep, which really bothers local phantom hybrids who want them to go to bed.

-> Mob behavior increases when the moon is full and decreases when it's new. Ex: a blaze hybrid is more likely to attack using fireballs than a sword when the moon is full, and fox hybrids may prefer to dig a lot or hide in "dens" to soothe their skittishness.

This AU does NOT have: Heats/ruts, hybrid litter births, hybrid litter lactation, or mobs as romantic partners. To clarify: Dragons can have litters, but hybrids are infertile. In fact, hybrids have 0 teats and no reproductive anatomy, so all birth and lactation is dragon-exclusive. Also: Love mode (The love hearts that show up when mobs are bred) does exist for hybrids, and is prompted by golden carrots. Some people may see this as similar to heats/ruts, but it's not technically animal behavior, so it's discussed more below. Also: It's not unheard of for mobs to hang out with you, such as villager mobs settling in your village, or illager mobs joining a patrol of hybrids. They're treated as companions and/or their own species. -> On rare occasion, a mob might think your wings, colors, or fighting skills are cool and hit on you (like how birds sometimes express courtship behavior towards humans IRL, especially pet birds who get pet and fed by a human), but hybrids are encouraged to shut such behavior down. -> This doesn't really come up (atm it's only been mentioned in Herobrine's Guide as a warning to watch for such behavior), but worth mentioning in case that's someone's deal-breaker.

- Allogrooming (Ex: licking or nibbling to groom someone).

-> Can be platonic, romantic, or parental. Usually done with fur or feathers, but other things like hair work too.

- Allofeeding (Ex: Dragon moms may feed their young mouth to mouth. Also, hybrids can do this too).

-> Not normally done with physical food; usually reserved for souls, which are carried in a throat pouch and difficult to carry with hands

-> Can be platonic, romantic, or parental

-> Phantom hybrid Bdubs used to feed Martyn souls before his adult fangs came in

-> Zombie hybrid Cleo hunts souls and offers them to phantom hybrid Martyn in exchange for favors (Namely, sneaking out with her so they can bury themselves in dirt and pretend to be dead)

-> In Dog's Life, parrot hybrid Grian puts a chunk of bread between his teeth and offers it to someone he's flirting with

- Ableism plots (Ex: Scar is very frustrated that the practice of unthreading is banned in New Star, because unthreading guarantees people gain a chronic glitch)

-> Scar himself is unthreaded, as is SnifferMyFeet. They both see unthreading as the best thing that happened to them because this state allows them to move in and out of servers freely, which most hybrids can't do. Scar is frustrated that society tends to view unthreading as harmful... people tend to focus more on the glitch and less on the ability to exit servers without your outside player.

-> Scar and Sniff ARE disabled; they both experience sensations like pain (and phantom pain) due to their chronic glitches. The glitches move around their body, affecting different areas throughout the day. Scar usually has a cane, but sometimes uses his wheelchair. Sniff spends early Dog's Life without a mobility aid since he's unthreaded in Chapter 7, but when Scar introduces him to aids later, he's excited to learn about them and daydreams what he wants his to be.

-> Since unthreading is banned in New Star, it's not always accessible to mobility aids. Scar was an emergency rescue unthread and Sniff was done under the radar and against the rules. Scar is very annoyed about this and increasing mobility is one of the main things he wants to do if he can win the mayor election in Dog's Life.

-> Grian is studying for his unthreading license throughout the series (and is due to receive it after Dog's Life). Scar is very anxious that Grian will unthread his wife (who can't leave their AFK server) and he's worried that Grian will be ableist towards her.

-> There are some subtle sideplots as well, such as Impulse being unable to hunt because he lost his ability to aggro on people when he had life-saving surgery. He drinks from a thermos, but usually needs to be fed mouth to mouth. Impulse was born a phantom hybrid, but feels disconnected from that community because he can't hunt.

-> The other phantom hybrids pity him (despite, y'know... life-saving surgery) and sometimes comment on "his terrible loss" or how he'd "definitely be flock captain if he hadn't lost his aggro" without realizing the ableist implications of what they're saying.

-> Ableism is a topic in this series and I do my best to handle it with care. Are you suggesting my society of underground people who cut themselves off from the world may have skewed, flawed views? le gasp.

- Some Hermitshipping/Trafficshipping (Usually this means characters in a relationship during some parts of the timeline, but separating later).

-> For example, Mumbo and Martyn still being married after Last Life until Mumbo left the hub during his Hermitcraft Season 9 hiatus. One and a Half Birds portrays them flirty during that point in the timeline, but they separate down the road when the initial playful buzz fades.

-> Many characters consider a relationship that starts while on a server to be roleplay. Some live with other partners when at home. The general vibe is that a "real relationship" should have serious talks in Between, reducing the possibility of outside player influence distorting feelings.

-> Tango in "Shack Up Like It's Summer 2022," is a good example: he playfully fawns over Jimmy in that story, but acknowledges his wedding ring. Tango finds value in his relationship with Jimmy even though he considers it roleplay. At home, he's married to Cocoa, who's based on the MC character owned by Mrs. T (Tango's wife).

- Relationship negotiation and status quo changes (This series is a dramedy; relationships take many twists and turns).

-> Enjoy fluff and shippy moments while they're there, but prepare your heart for a bumpy ride. At the end of the day, everyone is still friends.

- Some non-consensual implications (Jimmy's canary biology was forcibly modded on during his time in the EVO hub).

-> Many people view anarchy players as lawless, wild, and aggressive. They fear anarchy powers will forcibly mod them for a laugh, which is scary to them.

-> Joel (an ex-anarchy player) disagrees with this view, as he saw that life as one of creativity, self-exploration, and freedom. He doesn't think it's likely anarchy players carry mods with them or give them to random people, since mods take a long time to make and are usually custom; he's not afraid of this happening to him. However, he doesn't like discussing his positive anarchy experiences because he feels it's insensitive to his friends.

- Mind and memory manipulation (Ex: People changing behavior based on their life color during Life games, with yellows being more defensive and reds more aggressive).

-> SnifferMyFeet spawned in with Joel and Grian's Double Life memories. He's convinced he's married to Etho and Scar, and lashes out when told he isn't. His plot follows him discovering his own identity (and trying to separate himself from Grian and Joel). Etho and Scar are confused by Sniff dropping into their lives and try to figure that out as best they can.

-> At one point, a character is attacked and loses some memories. Another character loses some memories after experiencing a flashbang at close range, damaging the cameras in their eyes.

-> There's a scene where Scar, in the heat of the moment, plants one of his own memories in SnifferMyFeet to convince him that Sniff's Grian memories are implanted and aren't real. Sniff gets upset.

-> And more... Keep your eyes out!

I thiiiink these are all the topics worth warning for. If you think of anything else, send me an Ask and I'll add it :)

This AU plays these popular ships as platonic. Here's what to expect:

Grian & Scar: My first encounter with them as a duo was 3rd Life and "servant swearing loyalty and committing" has long been one of my all-time favorite platonic tropes. So... here we are!

-> Grian's arc focuses on him being cupioromantic and panicking due to his struggles with attraction, especially after his discovery that this world has no sex (Grian swapped places with the Grian native to this AU; this Grian came from the NW AU).

-> Grian tends to be anxious, push people away, and chase what he thinks he wants. One day boy's gonna get septuple dumped :')

-> Grian was betrothed to Scar [Oscar Goodchild] in the NW universe. Lots of messy feelings to unpack and he's not sure he's ready for that can of worms.

-> Grian is paranoid that since Scar "conveniently forgets things" and regularly ignores him, Scar won't care about his boundaries

-> Scar is dealing with a lot of hurt from Double Life, like Grian's comments of "Why does everyone else get a real partner except me?"

-> Scar is recipromantic. He clocked Grian as not being interested in him, so doesn't consider him a suitor. Grian gives mixed signals sometimes, which is confusing to Scar.

-> This AU plays Grian with emphasis on being pushy, disrespectful, or mean, such as a scene where he asks Scar to be his partner, then lashes out when Scar says no. They're coworkers and friends, but romance isn't their natural inclination in this AU.

Grian & Mumbo - My vision is that they're committed to the bit above all. They'd never date because it would be too on the nose... A bit must be silly and a little unpredictable. Yes, they'll claim Grumbot as their son because it's hilarious. Yes, they go home to separate living spaces and no, they don't cuddle much because that's not funny. Do you see my vision?

-> The vibe here is that they're close friends who are comfortable joking around. They both like that and have no desire to change.

-> One and a Half Birds examines their relationship as Grian struggles with secrets from his past, Mumbo prepares to eat his soul, and Grian is willing to do anything for his best friend.

-> I like this piece because it shows Grian's anxiety around the soul-eating, even pushing Mumbo away when he comes on too strong. Even Mumbo can make him fret his boundaries will be forgotten; nonetheless, he allows him to continue.

-> I feel like Pixels Imperfect Grian envisions himself with Mumbo more easily than Scar, but he's also more likely to ask Scar out since he assumes Mumbo isn't interested in being touchy-feely.

-> Ex: It was quite a shock to Grian when he found out Mumbo and Martyn brought their married life roleplay from Last Life into Between, and until it was confirmed, Grian denied it at all turns (Outright ignoring Martyn's claims that Mumbo was his husband & even refusing to believe they were married despite seeing them share a bed).

Character Grian has a pretty black and white view of things. Honestly, I think that defines him completely and I'm surprised I didn't think of it sooner.

Etho & Bdubs: I watched Last Life with no context for their Mindcrack or Hermitcraft pasts. Team BEST always gave me a college roommates vibe (especially after Bdubs divided the castle), and that's always stuck with me. They're long-time friends and trust each other deeply, but don't flirt (apart from the occasional nudge-nudge in jest).

-> Fun fact, that vibe is also why I play Bdubs as an aggressive phantom hybrid who pushes people around and Etho as a more passive, skittish fox... Bdubs was certainly the one to put his foot down about staying in the snow fort.

-> Bdubs visits Etho most nights to log him out [i.e. eat his soul]. It's "their thing," but Etho struggles with feelings that Bdubs only visits to make a meal of him.

-> Sometimes Bdubs feels unappreciated and unwanted. Etho has a mini-arc of changing his view of the logout dynamic, exploring why it's important to Bdubs.

-> Bonus: Etho is only attracted to warm souls, but he doesn't know that :') It's a nod to the Etho in NW AU, where him coming to grips with that attraction is a much bigger part of his arc. The two worlds exist in parallel, so he's the same here.

Etho & Cleo: I write a lot of Clocker family in various AUs. In Pixels Imperfect, the Clocker dynamic is roleplay. No strong romantic connection, though they're sometimes playful (when they're not self-conscious). The dynamic still tails them and they fall into the roles sometimes because they enjoy it.

-> My vision is that Etho is nervous around Cleo. After Limited Life, he tries to convince himself he likes her, again playing into that idea that he doesn't know he's attracted to warm souls (Cleo's is chilly).

-> The vibe here is family dinners and friendly chat about deep topics, like identity and boundaries, while maintaining that platonic vibe. No cuddle sessions or sleepovers (that I know of, anyway).

-> They'd probably date a little if one asked the other out, but neither is dying to make a move. They like their friendship as it.

-> Of my Clocker AUs, Pixels Imperfect is notable for Cleo and Etho coming together after a divorce bit was established. In other AUs, their past romance makes things extra complicated.

Martyn & Ren: I always read them platonic, especially in 3rd Life with Martyn wandering around and Ren saying things like "Martyn has to feed his kids," so that's what this AU leans into.

- Friends who are on and off between platonic and queerplatonic. They admire each other aesthetically. Ren especially likes that Martyn is an undead monster who could eat him (and plays along with his dramatic bits) and Martyn thinks Ren is cool and creative and fun.

-> Ren is dating a dragon btw. Specifically, Martyn's mom because I thought the bit in Double Life Ep 2 where he asked her out was very funny sdflk;

-> Martyn is a hot soul who only likes cuddling cool and chilly souls. He admires Ren, but prefers high-fives since Ren is also a hot soul (and they'd both overheat).

-> "Business partners" is probably the best way to describe their vibe in this AU. In this canon, they were queerplatonic in 3rd Life and Martyn gets huffy if anyone acts like that's unimportant.

You're welcome to read your favorite ship as romantic! Just don't get your romantic expectations too high :)

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I write content with morally gray characters. Please don't portray my story events or worldbuilding out of context with intentional malice. As in, I request you do not post things created for the specific intention of bashing me or the AU