#nowadays i feel like dialogue is my weakest point and i struggle to write natural-sounding conversations

[yupuffin]

Here's a typed-up excerpt from 14-year-old me's Naruto fic! Featuring two OCs (one of which is the narrator) and one canon character, plus others mentioned by name. My favorite things about this fic were the character dynamics and believable interactions even between OC&OC and OC&canon characters, and I think this scene is a solid example of what I enjoyed. I made minor edits for grammar and wording in places, but the vast majority of the writing is untouched.

--

The two of us went to check on things inside the Sound Village after Yuugure finished calling Greim. Yuugure had used most of his chakra practicing, and I didn't want to exhaust him, so we walked at an easy pace.

Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. There was a lot of noise coming from behind a set of large doors, but that was true last time as well. It sounded like a group of people talking.

Yuugure leaned against a wall just as I heard a dull thud from farther down the tunnel, towards the entrance. I froze and listened, like an animal would. I heard footsteps; someone was coming.

"Let's go," I breathed sharply, heading as quietly as possible towards the echoing sound. I didn't check to see whether Yuugure was following me, though if he was, I was grateful for his silence.

I cautiously made my way to the entrance of the tunnel. At first I kept my distance from whoever was walking this way, in case they were an enemy. I had only half-expected to see Kabuto alone; either he had returned from the mission alone, or he had already been somewhere else in the tunnels. From the way he was headed, it seemed as though he had stopped somewhere else before coming this way.

I stood, thinking, unsure of hat to do; fortunately, Yuugure was there as well, and he stepped out to meet Kabuto from behind the corner. "So you're back," he remarked calmly.

"We had to cut it a little short," Kabuto responded quickly. He looked as if he might say something else, but he kept his mouth shut.

Since Kabuto already knew Yuugure was there, I didn't have a reason to be nervous, so I followed Yuugure into Kabuto's field of vision.

"Did something happen?" I asked, a little concerned.

For once, Kabuto hesitated before replying, his words slow and careful. "Nothing happened that involves you. Don't worry about it."

It was easy to tell that Kabuto was hiding something. He was either distressed, or he was formulating a plan. Or both.

"Nobody died?" I pressed, still not convinced.

Kabuto paused again. "Well, no. We achieved our goal, but..." He trailed off.

I persisted. "Where's Orochimaru?"

"Probably off checking on something."

I clenched my jaw. Why did Kabuto have to be so vague? Something must be bothering him; normally he was quite blunt. He didn't appear to be injured. and he hadn't alluded to anything being wrong with Orochimaru. Maybe if I asked him later he would be more open. After all, he had just been out on an intense mission; he probably needed some time to recover.

"All right," I concluded evenly. "Tell me if you need help with something." What was the most he could ask for? I doubted that he would return to his old, creepy self before the day was over, if something that occurred during the mission really troubled him.

I might have been wrong, though, because the hint of a smile alighted on his face. "Are you learning how to manipulate things from me?"

I froze. Was this an accusation, or a joke? Probably a mix of both. Either way, hesitating before Kabuto wasn't a good idea. "Yes, I think so."

This time I was sure he looked satisfied. "Good. That means I can trust you."

I exhaled, taking back my previous thought about his old self. He started to walk away.

I ran over my options; I could ask my question directly (I was too timid to do that), or I could wait until he told me himself (that was unlikely). Either way, I was stuck knowing nothing, unless I could think of something smart to say that would get me on his good side. But that was pretty much impossible, considering how perceptive he was.

He looked like he would ignore me for the rest of the day, but in the same instant that I thought that, Kabuto stopped.

"I can almost hear you thinking back there," he commented smoothly, turning back around. "Do you have something you want to say?"

I blinked a few times. And just as I thought that, too! I was convinced he could read my mind. But if I didn't answer, it would make him suspicious about trusting me (though I wasn't sure he really meant it the first time).

"Actually, yes," I responded, trying not to let my voice waver. "From the sound of it, Orochimaru is doing fine. And obviously, you're not hurt. It sounded like there was a problem with one of you during the mission, though."

At this point, it was hard to maintain my brave tone. "And that means... That means something must have happened to Kimimaro, right?"

Kabuto's expression didn't change, although he stayed silent for a moment to let his brain work. "You're learning fast. You make a good addition to our side."

He chuckled and then continued, his inflection more serious now. "Unfortunately, that's correct. Something happened just after we completed the mission, and he's not well. He won't be able to do any more missions for a while."

Saying nothing else, he continued down the hall and disappeared into the shadows.

"That was strange," Yuugure remarked from behind me.

I jumped; I had forgotten he was there.

"You're mimicking him, aren't you?" Yuugure asked playfully. "Except Kabuto's creepier than you are."

"He is creepy," I agreed shakily. I hadn't expected Kabuto's words to hit me as hard as they did. I thought it would just be something I shook off; on the contrary, my heart was pounding, and I felt vaguely nauseous.

"Something must have hit him in the head," Yuugure muttered. Then he met my eyes. "I thought you said that other guy scared you. Now you're acting like you're worried about him."

"It's... a little bit of both." I chose my words slowly and carefully.

Yuugure frowned. "I don't know what the two of you are talking about. Who is Kimimaro?"

I thought about how to answer. "I don't know."

"You have to know at least a little," Yuugure persisted. "Otherwise, you wouldn't be concerned."

My gaze fell to the floor. "I've only seen him. He doesn't know me."

"You said something to him at the clearing before they left."

"Well, he looked lonely. I couldn't let him leave without some kind of acknowledgment."

Yuugure looked exasperated. "We're going in a circle. This conversation is almost pointless."

I blinked. "Almost? What do you mean?"

His bright gold eyes were clear and knowing. "You argued with my statements. That means you care about him."

I opened and closed my mouth a few times, struggling to decide how to respond. "You're just as perceptive as Kabuto is."

"It's kind of obvious," Yuugure snickered, resting his arms on the back of his head as if watching the sky.

"Is that... bad?"

"I don't think so. Depends on how you look at it." His eyes didn't look focused on anything in particular. "You said you're from the Leaf Village, right?"

"Sort of. But does that make me the Sound Village's enemy?" I pointed to the band on my right shoulder. "Physically, I'm from the Sound Village. But historically, I'm from the Leaf. Does that make me a resident of both?"

"I think it does."

"That's good, right?"

Yuugure leaned his head back against his wrists. "It probably has its advantages." He closed his eyes for a few seconds as if to rest. Then he opened one eye and gave me a sideways glance. "You sure have a lot of questions."

I was going to reply, but before I could, he lowered his arms and smiled. "That's all right. I do, too. If I didn't have questions, I would never learn."

I kept my eyes down; my mind was elsewhere.

"So... it's not a bad thing if I make friends with people from this village? I'm going to see my old teammates in a month, but... until then..."

"You're a bit confused, huh?" Yuugure asked. "If I were you, I would be confused."

Unsure of what he meant by that, I didn't reply.

"I don't think it matters who your friends are," he continued. "As long as they don't try to hurt you or do bad things. But from the sound of it, it's hard to determine what things are bad things when you're a ninja. I wouldn't know, because I've mostly been by myself since I left the Shimmer Society two years ago."

At this point, I was thoroughly befuddled, so I stayed silent. Yuugure frowned at my lack of response, but there was a glimmer of playfulness in his eyes. "Am I thinking too far into this?"

"Um..." I shook myself off. "No. Thinking is good. It's just that... you're being a little confusing."

Yuugure grinned sheepishly and changed the subject. "Do you want to go train with me?"