#now that I've had some i feel compelled to finish it but the taste and aftertaste of the vodka is so bad

[advisorsage]

I've tried my second alcohol

Got more than a sip down this time

Don't like this one either

[happypotato48]

List of Thai BL dramas i've watched with short opinions about them i guess :P

Thai BLs that i finished:

A Boss and a Babe. It's cute for what it is, i loved the gaming friendships and i'm a sucker for forcebook. 7/10 need more unhinged energy from book.

A Tale of Thousand Stars/Our Skyy 2 : Bad Buddy x A Tale Of Thousand stars. this show reminds me a lot of early to mid 2000s lakorns. it's a beautiful by the book love story, i appreciated that a bl got to take a spin on this kind of quiet thai story. 8/10 loved it but still too vanilla for my taste.

Bake Me Please. Guide Kantapon is the cutest man alive and CAKES! that it, that all i have for this show. 6/10 it's a show that exist.

Be My Favorite. damn fluke gawin is so pretty what was this show about again? :P i'm kidding, i actually really liked this show. i watched it when i had zero knowledge about bl industry, i was oblivious about krist's controversy and i find krist acting to be charming and think kawee is very relatable as a cringe fail human myself. 8.5/10 this show made me want to collected weird thingies.

Cherry Magic (Thailand). oh boy this show. it's was everything to me also the only show so far that i've written extensively on this site. here is my personal feeling about this show. 9.5/10 would kill for taynew.

Cooking Crush. what! the fuc$! look look, i just learned that both offgun are older than me. when i first saw the show i thought they were some rookie actors with how young they looks. watching cute bl is gonna be the death of me. anywho this show is supercute don't have a lot of thought about it though. 7.5/10 cutting half a point cause of no samsee x metha.

Cutie Pie/Naughty Babe. what a fuckin legend of a series. all the characters have zero braincells and somehow all the rich pretty boys are engaged to each other and by arranged marriages nonetheless. wtf is this fanfic version of thailand and where can i get hit by a truck and get isekai to it. 7.5/10 still haven't watch Cutie Pie 2 U, i hope it get dumber.

Enchanté. this show is so dummmb it should've go full camp reverse harem yaoi nonsense but it didn't and ended up being kinda boring. 6.5/10. meh, i'm still a sucker for forcebook.

Last Twilight. UGHHH!! i'm still so mad. this show was going to be THE SHOW for me then ep 11-12 happened i legit mentally check out halfway through ep 12 and i basically blocked the ending from my mind. this show came out at the right place and the right time for me, the first 9 episodes helped me through a very tough time in my life. the story of two people helping each other finding their way out of the dark was very compelling to me. ughh. 5.5/10 (9/10 for ep 1-9) P'Aof why are you like this!!

Laws Of Attraction. yassssssss this show slay(literally :P) the show is a breath of fresh air for me despite how very lakorn of it is. i'm glad that there is a bl that feel this soapy and campy cause like i do love my angsty and innocent school bls but the industry really need show like laws of attraction. jamfilm also were very great in their roles espically film, charn is the most babygirl corrupted cute evil lawyer of all time. 9/10 no note headempty only charn's evil smirks in my mind

La Pluie. now, this is a romance. this show is one of the most romanctic media that i personally have experience. i loved that the show took the cheesy premise of soulmates and work it so well to do both deconstruction and exploration of the trope. i think using rain, thing that isolated people as a narrative tool for love connection is absolutely brilliant. last but not least pat is just the perfect bl love interest, he's an very idealized character but he do feels like an actual person. i want to give a shout out to Pee Peerawich the way he said "มันหนาวอ่ะ" in ep 8 sent me, the raspy voice, the eye twich and combo those with a back cuddle, sir! you just commited a mass murders with that move. 9/10 plz i need season two with my baby boy tien.

Love in Translation. the unhingendness of that first meeting is probably my favorite bl meet cute. look if you don't get into a fistfight with the guy you destined to be with then what is the point of life. this show fake date is very well done it's doesn't feel forced like in a lot of other bls and it make the growing attraction feels very genuine and it pay off in one of the best sex scenes in all of bl, yang is such a freak and i loved him for it. 8/10 the last two episodes did got slightly off the rail for me but i still enjoyed the show.

Moonlight Chicken. one of the most beautiful shows i ever watched. when watching this show i can feels, smells and tastes everything it depicted. from the comfort khao man gai to jim's loneliness, from alan's heartbreak to liming and heart's midnight motorcycle ride. this show gave me all the feels and i still can't completely shake it off. 9.9/10 this show is a healing.

My School President. These boys!!!! i can't, i loved these boys so much, all the boys, YES ALL OF THEM! this show is on the opposite spectrum of Moonlight Chicken for me. while MC give me the good heartaches this show give me unbridled joy it's like heartstopper on cracks. i absolutely adored tinn and gun and the show relentless optimism about thier first love. love is awesome no matter the romantic, familial or platonic kind and i think this show hit the marks with all three. 10/10(i'm super bias but fuck it idc i even liked the singing) this show made me started watching thai bl and it always will have a place in my heart.

My Ride. this show is lacking in intimacy but making up by being all heart. could this show be better if they fleshed out and explore more of tawan and his cheating bf's relationship, maybe but i'm happy for what we got. 8/10 mork and tawan were very cutie patootie, i don't remember much about the het and the side couple were just st ok.

Step by Step. man trisanu is exactly the same height at me and i want everyone to know that is the only reason i started this show🤣 . i feels like this show have a lot to say about stuff but i kinda got lost staring at man trisanu while watching. one thing i really loved is the very fem *ตุ๊ด coworker who got to be a real character not just a jokey sidekick and having a loving relationship with a hottie. 7.5/10 can i get more man trisanu in bl plz.

Triage. asshole doctor stuck in a timeloop for him to find the meaning of life, yes plz give it to me. i loved stories about assholes who need to better themself for love and other junk. tinn and tol are both grumpy bitches and i just loved that the show use the timeloop to soften these nerds. at the end i just want to wrap them in blanket and let's them cuddle each other forever. 8.5/10 the last ep is bit convoluted but i forgave the show for that cute clocktower kiss.

You're My Sky. i started this show for my boy suar and he did not disappointed. the pining and the longing for an older boy who been there for you most you life, chef kiss. this show also very beautiful to look at. 8/10 i'm kinda meh about the side couples, i do think they all got the "good ending" for their stories.

Thai BLs that i didn't finish or gave up and skipped to the ending:

Bad Buddy. Oh boy, am i gonna get murder for this??? sorry but idk why i didn't wholeheartedly love and give this show my undivided attention. i watched this show very weird and out of order, i started with the last ep than just watch other episodes in bit and peice. i think i've seen 70% of this show. plz forgive me this is the first thai bl i tried to get into but can't. maybe i need to give this show another chance and watch it properly. or idk maybe cause the way i watched it, it's ruined for me forever. 6.5/10 i loved the rooftop kiss plz don't kill me.

Dangerous Romance. this show is trash and not the good kind, how this show depicted relationship between a rich asshole and a poor boy feels very gross to me. i fast forward a bunch and gave up after the not just dumb but very cruel breakup. 4/10 it's watchable if you ignore the plot and the chatacters.

Hidden Agenda. wow this is the most nothing show that ever nothing for me. it's a perfected white noise while playing chill video games. i stopped watching after ep 8 cause look like there going to be a dumb break up, i have no desire to revisit this show. 5/10 joongdunk were kinda cutes.

The Miracle of Teddy Bear. this show is too god damn long with too many side plots the one and a half hour per episode killed the momentum for me. i liked the show and do think i want to revisit and finish it one day. 6/10 for now.

Vice Versa. why are they giving jimmysea this show. this show is so boring for me, i gave up in episode 6. 4/10 gmmtv give my babies better shows!!

Thai BLs that i've watched all the sex scenes and have no intention of watching the actual show:

Kinnporsche: heheehehhehehe everyone were so hot, too bad i don't like rich mafia story. mile being a nepobaby also significantly killed the mood for me. 55555/dead bodyguards (idk how many there are but i don't care) the ost are bangers though.

Venus in the Sky and Love in the Air. cringe gay sex for the wins. 69/420.

ok, whoo that was a lot. gonna pin this cause i don't think anyone want to read all that in one sitting. i think i'm gonna make another post for non thai BLs in the near future. thanks for reading my unhinged opinions hope i'm not gonna get moider for it 55555555.

[tommarvoloriddlesdiary]

20 Questions (for fanfic writers)

i've been threatened via water gun if noncompliance is reached in regards to this post from @floatingdandelionseeds... so here we go!

how many works do you have on ao3? at least one... maybe eleven

what's your total ao3 word count? i have never once gone on the stats page, so this may put me into fight or flight... 45108

what fandoms do you write for? Harry Potter

top five fics by kudos: these questions were designed to hurt me. - like a parasite (kill my butterflies), - candle-lit garnet, - what's lost (what's gained), - Life Inside the Ministry of Magic, - flames and bricks of hearth

do you respond to comments? i try - i swear i try 😭 sometimes i get shy or never want to look at a fic again 😂 but i mostly try to!

what is the fic your wrote with the angstiest ending? ohh i don't write a lot of angst - but maybe it would be like a parasite (kill my butterflies) 🤔

what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? this was a hard choice... if it's not my most recent, then it'll be flames and bricks of hearth

do you get hate on fics? i don't, really - i'm very grateful 🥹 the only time it's happened was via a bot

do you write smut? 😳 i also don't write smut... publically

craziest crossover? i've never done a crossover! could be fun 🤔

have you ever had a fic stolen? i also don't know... i hope not 😭

have you ever had a fic translated? no - i doubt anyone would feel compelled to - and i don't think i'd do a proper job 😂 too many half languages in my head

have you ever co-written a fic before? no - well... technically, no? the @exquisite-tomarrymort-telephone is my co-writer on the most recent fic, but that's more of a front 😂

all-time favorite ship? tomarrymort for me too! (but i also like some of the other ones dande listed 😂 we have similar tastes)

what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? oh wow great question - this one? but i want to 😭

what are your writing strengths? my what?

what are your writing weaknesses? i can't write to save my life 😂 i don't know how to end things or keep them going - i don't know how to plot things out - i'm a danger to the community - i get ideas that seem simple at first glance but are too complex so i get scared out of writing them

thoughts on dialogue in another language? dande brought up some good questions - i couldn't risk writing everything in another language without surely insulting an entire group of people - but if it's dialogue and there is a water gun to my head, then i guess i could probably do it? sorry to everyone who speaks.

favorite fic you've written? oh god - if it's not my most recent (recency bias 😂), then it would have to be Life Inside the Ministry of Magic - that fic doesn't take a lot out of me, even though i've got a really convoluted secret plot going on within it, which makes it wonderfully brainless fun 😂

is anyone else weirded out that there are only 19 questions?

i'm now supposed to tag some people but i'm scared - if you see this and i know you please assume i wanted to tag you

[xerofresh]

🔥 SILVERSTREAKSHIPPING WEEK 🍙

🍙 DAY 3: ALTERNATE UNIVERSE 🔥

Yeah, vampire x vampire hunter au lets go.

Lore time! Larry was turned into a vampire when he was young and found out how to integrate with society easily, even getting a job at the league. But one day (I’m not sure how yet) he accidentally spreads a vampiric epidemic and turns Paldea into a high-alert modern-victorian hellhole. The league finds out he's a vampire because of this, so he runs away and secludes himself to not hurt anyone else, but the damage has already been done. The league closes off the league building because it's contaminated, Larry sees this and just moves back in and turns it into a combo league building and Victorian castle. For years they have had to fight off vampire spawn and they need reinforcements, so Kabu volunteers and moves to Paldea to help. Then a few missions later he stumbles across Larry chilling somewhere by Medali not hunting or anything. Again, I don't know exactly what happens after that but there are a lot of very gay feelings between them and they are both confused as to why.

Alright now that's over, I modified vampires a little bit so stick with me.

Vampires are not limited to humans for blood! They can drink the blood of any warm-blooded creature, mainly mammals, like a Chupacabra. They can also eat berries because fruitbats (humans still taste the best though)

There are vampire spawns and then true vampires. True vampires are what Larry is, typical Hollywood vampires. Vampire spawns are more like animals, they don't have much cognitive thought other than animalistic desires and following their leader, Larry. They're kind of like dogs in the sense that they can be trained to do tasks and stuff. Dogs with rabies.

Vampires are killed/repelled by the typical things, sunlight, garlic, wooden stakes, and decapitation. Some things I've changed are one, vampires can only be damaged in combat by the stakes or silver weapons; two, crosses and holy water do nothing, it's just an outdated legend. Most people don't know this because when they do use it, they're just startled and/or confused so they're vulnerable, people: three, vampires can only be burned by the magical fire from Pokèmon, no man or nature-made fires can hurt vampires; four, I will not be implementing the rule that vampires can only attack you if you invite them into your house, but I will implement the scattering of seeds or grain to distract vampires. Some stories say if you scatter seeds, vampires are compelled to count them. This only applies to Larry though since vampire spawns don't have the cognitive ability to count, and it is just the autistic Larry thing to do; and five, only vampire spawns are affected by sunlight. I only really did this so there's a sense of suspense even though the league knows who the vampire is. The general public doesn't know because the league is bad at communicating.

All vampires can turn into bats (or bat Pokèmon idk) Larry can stay in his bat form for much longer.

When a true vampire settles somewhere, vampire spawns are drawn to the location and it serves as a home base. Some vampires are lone wolves (or bats in this case) but most serve under Larry.

Alright, now for some other character tidbits!

Larry is a bit lazier in this au. After he finishes redecorating he doesn't need to do anything because if he wanted food he could just get one of his servants to fetch someone. If Larry does have the rare urge to hunt somewhere, it’s mainly by Medali for the nostalgia and good options, or Cortando since it’s the closest (other than Mesagoza but he has standards he's not killing kids)

Larry cultivates a berry orchard in front of his castle when he doesn't want blood that day. It’s also kind of a maze to get through and only Larry and any spawns that help in the orchard know the paths to get through.

Larry is still a foodie and knows exactly which berries and what blood types work together.

Larry has named every single one of his servants. He has them all written down just in case he forgets.

Kabu is a very skilled vampire hunter, stories of vampires started in Europe after all. With his athleticism and powerful fire Pokèmon he is well-known by hunters worldwide. Any fire type trainer is a danger to vampires with their Pokèmon, but a fire type vampire hunter is a whole new ball game.

Kabu’s a bit more serious and jaded, but he still has that fiery passion that he's known for, it doesn't really show while he's hunting because it’s not really his favorite thing to do you know? It more shows when he's training and battling with his Pokèmon like canon Kabu.

So yeah uh cool gay vampire stuff! We love to see it.

[galaxyedging]

Max Phillips x f!reader (written in the third person)

For the Haunted Hoedown using the randomly generated prompts: Mythology/monsters and “you are mine, whether you agree or not.”

Warnings: Dubcon. P in V sex. Face riding. Slight monster fucking.

TW: allusions to sexual assault.

WC:2.4k

Feeding Time

Being out of work doesn't suit Max at all. He needs to be busy. Not using his keen business skills just seems like a waste. He feels like the star played out with an injury.

It's frustrating as fuck. The other downside is that he had to hunt for his meals and that's just a pain in the ass. It's not like he doesn't enjoy the hunt itself. Especially the part where they are screaming and begging and he just gets to overpower them. Max has been overpowering before. He was overruled and kicked out of college. He should be a little grateful now, as he'll never be the victim again.

The ass aching part comes in the form of CCTV and disposing of the bodies. Normally, corporate would deal with that for him. On his own, he had to be careful, vary the places he grabs people from, avoid cameras, and never feed too close to home. Not for the first time Max wonders what it would have been like to be alive centuries ago like in the movies. Roaming around fog clouded villages at night. Ripping the throats out of anyone he pleased. The thought of it made him need to adjust himself in his pants.

That's one of the things they don't tell you about you turn, how fucking horny feeding can make you. Sometimes that first burst of blood on his tongue has him standing to attention in a second. There have been times where he's had to stop drain victims so he can fuck the ache away before finishing. No one needs a distraction like that when they are eating. There's an added bonus of the blood tasting more full bodied if he makes them come. With this in mind he decides that he's going to indulge his other appetite tonight before he feeds.

Turning away from the bar, he plants his feet either side of his barstool. His long legs are open, highlighting the significant bulge in his suit pants. Maybe that will do some of the work for him. Max isn't picky when it comes to partners at all, any hole's a goal, but no one he sees tickles his fancy. Too lost in scanning the crowd he doesn't notice the act setting up on the small stage to his left. Until she starts to sing. All his attention is drawn to her. The way her lips move as she produces the most beautiful sound he's ever heard. The way her fingers adeptly pluck the strings on her guitar. He can't help but wonder what other talents her pretty mouth and skilled fingers have. The mental image of her on her knees, his length in he'd mouth and her fingers teasing his asshole has him hard and straining against his expensive designer underwear.

The night passes so goddamn slowly, the sound of her melodious voice has had him on edge for hours. He briefly thought about taking the edge off with the red head that's been buzzing around him like the flies around the drip trays in this dive. No, she wouldn't do, he needed his pretty little songbird. Finally, everyone left and he compelled the owner to go home leaving the keys with him.

"Wow. You are talented." He ladles enthusiasm over his words. Surely stroking the artist's ego should get him somewhere.

"Er..thank you. Where did Mike go?" She looked around the now empty bar.

"He had to run. He left these with me to lock up. Mike and I are old friends. I'm Max by the way." He held out his hand.

It was almost warm with the way she had the limited blood in his body singing. It had been harmonising with her all night. Shaking it she gave him her name.

"I've been barely about to take my eyes off you all night, your performance I mean. Do you have a manager?" After she shook his hand he didn't step away.

He stayed in her space. He could feel the discomfort coming off of her in waves. He didn't want to use his powers on her. He wanted to do this the old fashioned way. Max was nothing if not charming. He could definitely woo a timid little thing's legs open.

"No, I don't." She sidestepped out of the space he had her held in.

"Well, I just so happen to be a business manager…." He slipped a card from his pocket to hand to her.

"I'm not sure I'm ready for a manager but I'll keep you in mind." She plastered a polite smile on her face.

At this point Max realised that she wasn't interested in him at all. She wasn't timid, she was scared. She wasn't nervous about the handsome man flirting with her, she was worried about being alone with a strange man. For a fleeting moment Max felt bad for her. Only for a moment.

"Hey, why don't you let me buy you a drink? As a thank you for the wonderful entertainment." He smiled brightly at her as she tried to quickly pack up her things.

"I have an early start. I really shouldn't." With her case in her hand she made for the door.

Stepping in her path he added. "Just one?"

Her eyes were filled with panic, he could taste the fear in her blood.

"Just one. Then I have to go." She told him.

Max had seen this dance a hundred times. The guy coming on too strong. The girl trying to find an out that wouldn't anger him. Normally, he'd swoop in. Kill the guy, fuck the girl. They were all so grateful when he made a show of running the guy out of the bar. After draining the guy in some dark spot he'd bring the girl back there and rail her with the asshole's blood throbbing through his cock. It was his own dirty little secret.

As she tried to seem like she was comfortable in his company, but not too comfortable as to lead him on, he could see her checking her phone.

"Something important?" Max didn't know what had come over him tonight. He wasn't usually an asshole about these things. Even for a killer he had standards.

"My roommate. She'll worry if I'm late. She gets off her shift at the same time." She's making sure he knows someone will miss her.

"Well, text her. Tell her you're safe with Mike's friend Max." He lay his hand just close enough to hers on the bar to make her shudder.

She must have heard that a million times. The nice guy routine.

"She doesn't like to be alone. I should go. You can lock up, right?" She makes to grab her guitar case but Max is quicker. He holds it at his side just out of her reach.

"Come on. I've waited all night. I watched your show. I just want to talk. You can give me that, at least." He laughs as he steps closer.

That is when she runs, she's halfway to the door when Max reaches out with his powers. She turns on her heels under his influence. Her skirt swishes over her thighs as he makes her walk back to him. As soon as she's in reach Max has her pinned to the bar. His mouth assaults hers as his hand grope her tits through the soft cotton of her dress. As he goes to trail his fingers up her trembling thighs to her core a thought tugs at the corner of his thoughts. He pushes it away as he pushes two fingers inside of her.

It's her whimpers that have then thought tugging at him again.

'No. I don't do this. I never force them. I only take them if they want it.'

Suddenly her hips begin to move, she rides his fingers and kisses him back with enthusiasm.

His head feels dizzy. Nausea swirls in his stomach. He feels tired in a way he hasn't since he was human. It's bone deep and makes him want to drop to his knees.

All the time she's still been kissing him like she's hungry for him. Pulling away she looks deep into his eyes. The fear in them has gone. "You wanted a challenge. So I gave you one."

His feet move of their own accord as she leads him to sit in a booth. She slides into his lap and twirls his short curls around her fingers.

"Poor Max. All frustrated from not working. Not being stimulated enough." Her fingers undo the buttons of his crisp shirt as she speaks. Her hands push it off his shoulders before roaming his chest. "I can stimulate you, Max." With that she licks a wide strip over his nipple before biting it.

Max hisses and his cock jumps against her. "I thought you'd like my little scenario. I didn't figure you for such a gentleman. I knew I like you." Her hands are at his belt now.

Max tries to talk, to move an inch, nothing. He's completely frozen as she takes his rock hard cock out. She hums approvingly as she pumps it a few times, smearing his precum over it.

"So pretty. I've seen you around. We share a hunting ground apparently. I've been living off of scraps. Two pump chumps that barely give me anything. I think you actually drained a few once I was done with them. Then I saw you." Standing for a moment she strips herself bare. Max can't help but notice how everything about her that made her pretty is now magnified. She is absolutely stunning. Her clear skin glows. Her soft hair shines. Her curves are so inviting. "All that supernatural strength. I bet you can feed me for hours. Look how hard this pretty cock is. I bet I could ride this for hours, couldn't I?"

Max would love to tell her that she's right but still he can't speak. He looks forward to showing her as she returns to his lap and sinks down onto him. Unfortunately, all it takes is him bottoming out for him to come. He cunt is warm and silky in a way he's never felt before. It's all too much after all the build up.

As his useless seed spurts into her she lets out an inhuman roar. "Oh, yes, Max!" She bounces on his cock a little, milking every drop with her tight channel.

"There we are, still hard for me. Such a good boy." A few more bounces of her hips and she comes hard. Max worried that she might actually break his cock off with the way her pussy contracts around him. She screams his name as her whole body convulses. Max has never experienced anything like it before.

She's still riding him as she pants out "Oh. You are perfect.”

Max wants to tell her the same. Fuck his head spins and his cock throbs. He still can't move. It should scare him but it doesn't all he wants to do is rise up and fuck her like he wants to.

"You too." He manages to get out. That stops her in her tracks. He shouldn't be able to fight her influence. His strength arouses her further. For a moment she lets her control drop just to see what he'll do. In a whirlwind of movement her bare chest is slammed into the wooden table in front of her. Max is behind her. His cock spears her in place as he thrusts like the wild creature that he is. Speaking of which, when he drags her body flush to his to she sees the hands at her chest grow more claw-like. Her hand threading into his hair reveals horns protruding from his temple.

"Max!" She cries as he hits the right spot, his cock feeling even longer and thicker than it did before. "Let me see you."

Max barely pulls out before he spins her shoving her ass up onto the table and fills her again.

She squeals in delight as he splits her open again. "Oh. You are beautiful." She traced the veins on his skin.

Coming over him again, she undergoes her own transformation. Her skin shimmers with a blue glittery glow. Her eyes become a vivid seafoam green.

"A m-mermaid?" Max stutters out as he carries on fucking her deep. The table shakes with the power of his thrusts. His pants and moans almost drown out the sound of the table creaking. He's so close he can feel it at the base of his spine. It fuels the movement of his hips driving them forward and deeper into her incredible cunt. It's so wet and warm, he wants to stay in it for the rest of his life. His groans, as he blows his load again, are silenced by her lips on his. Max almost gets his wish about being buried in her for the rest of his life as her kiss draws out his life force. His softening cock slips out of her as he weakens and falls to his knees. Her lips cling to his until he's sprawled on the floor. He feels his immortality slipping away. Just as he thinks death might retake the eternal life it gave him, she releases him. Crawling up his lifeless body, she straddles his face. Their combined spend dips down his cheeks as he lays there clinging on to life.

"Mermaids are so old hat. The only people that fish those waters are the descendants of those smart enough to survive the sirens attack. The smarter amongst us evolved. They bred with incubus and other creatures, until they could walk on land and feed on more than flesh." As she speaks, she drags her folds over his profile. His perfect curved nose nudges her clit over and over. "I could feed off of you forever. I could fuck you and fed off the energy it creates. Unlike the humans you'd survive. Barely. Sorry about that." Her hands come down to grip his horns as she grinds her clit on his plush lips. "But don't worry Max. I'll take care of you." His juices burst against his slack mouth as she quivers through her orgasm. All Max can do is lie there as her release drips onto his tongue "I'll feed you up and get you strong again because you are mine, whether you agree or not."

[gillianthecat]

Books Tag Game

Thank you for the tag @littleragondin! I've actually been reading books again these past few weeks so I have answers now lol

hardcover or *paperback* (i am but a weak little woman and those hardcovers are heavy) // bookstore or *library* (probably I would usually say bookstore but I was going to many different libraries to study at towards the end of the semester) // standalone or *series* (really depends on my mood, but the most recent books were a series) // nonfiction or *fiction* (fiction is an indulgence, and while I'm interested in a lot of non-fiction, reading it usually feels more like work) // thriller or *fantasy* (I've never been into scary stuff) // under 300 pages or *over 300 pages* (otherwise it goes by too quickly!) // children's or *ya* (i have not connected with the YA I've read in recent years but at times I have devoured it) // friends to lovers or *enemies to lovers* (there are some amazing friends-to-lovers I adore, but I'm compelled by even mediocre enemies-to-lovers) // *read in bed* or read on the couch (either but recently it's been all in bed) // *read at night* or read in the morning (through the night and into the next morning) // *keep pristine* or markup (I don't try to actually keep books pristine, but I also never bother to mark up anything but textbooks) // *cracked spine* or dog ear (historically I read most books on one sitting, but if not I'd just search for the page again/use a random receipt as a bookmark)

Currently Reading:

I'm not in the middle of anything, but I've read more in recent weeks than I have in a long time. (Well, technically I'm in the middle of Solomon's Ransom by Corey Kerr, because I read the sample and now am waiting for the book to be released in a few weeks.)

Several months ago I got from the (physical!) library a (physical!) copy of She Who Became the Sun by Shelly Parker-Chan, and I finally finished after the semester ended, and then found an ebook of the sequel, He Who Drowned the World. (Compelling, though I think the ambitiousness of the project inevitably meant that parts of it didn't quite work.)

Then I read a bunch of romance ebooks, and even found a m/f one that I liked! Jodi McAlister's Not Here To Make Friends. (It was also the reality dating show romance I had been low-key hoping would exist.)

I also read RF Kuang's Babel: An Arcane History (which I appreciated and was provoked by, but didn't exactly love), and then read that she was inspired by/responding to Donna Tartt's The Secret History, so I reread that. (When I read it years ago my reaction was, I'm too old for this. It felt like a book you need to read in your teens or early twenties to get swept up into. My thoughts this go around were pretty much the same.) Then Kuang's Yellowface, which was also compelling.

Speaking of enemies to lovers, quite enjoyed The Sorcerer's Omega, also by Corey Kerr, which is why I'm awaiting her latest release. (The other two books in that world are also good, just not catnip for my tastes in the same way.)

And your post reminded me—I too read Love in the Big City, which was good and also unsettling in that way of most autobiographical novels about the authors fucked up twenties. Now I can go and unblock the tag and see all the fascinating discussions y'all had in your book club.

I have no idea how they'll manage to turn it into a BL (which is what I think I read is happening?). Although it's about relationships it's very much not a romance. Are they just pulling out some random plot points and building a whole new story around them? I hope they don't try to smush it into BL shape at all, and just tell the narrator's melancholy story as written.

(Oh, technically I'm in the middle of Mari Kondo's The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, but I'm not sure if I'll read any more. Other people's advice can be counterproductive at times.)

(Most most recently was a bunch of Untamed and Drarry fanfic, but I'm not counting that.)

I'm not sure who's done this already, but I'll tag @lelephantsnail, @petrichoraline and @tungtung-thanawat.

[sanddusted-wisteria]

Unpotable [oneshot]

GN!Builder/Qi; crack

Warnings: None

Also on AO3

Summary: Unpotable Summer Sand Tea: A strange green gooey substance sprawled out on a plate. Everything about it implies its impalatability, but its forbidden nature compels you to try it.

In which Qi somehow manages to mess up tea. Cut him some slack, though, he's only made it…several hundreds of times before…

A/N: Happy update! One of the new mechanics added is that your spouse can cook for you! Which is really sweet. Only issue is that not every spouse can cook all too well (Qi downright admits on multiple occasions that he cannot cook)…and they always have a chance of flubbing the dishes. One of Qi's options is summer sand tea…and yes, he can somehow screw it up. The description for bad food is generic across all the dishes, but it really seems to fit for the tea. I've had this half-finished since I've been beta testing this update, but the update came out sooner than I expected, so here you go! Enjoy!

------------

It’s gelatinous.

The builder slowly tips the glass sideways. The green substance stays put, until at about a 60 degree tilt, when it starts to slide out. They quickly right the glass again. The jelly falls back down to the bottom with a quiet flump.

The builder blinks and looks up at Qi with a look of barely-restrained horror.

“I…don’t know how this happened,” Qi says, pursing his lips.

It’s tea. At least, it’s supposed to be tea.

“D…Does all your tea end up looking like this…?” the builder asks meekly.

“N-no, no! It doesn’t. The pitcher is perfectly fine, see?” He holds up the fresh pitcher of tea. It’s all still liquid in there.

“Uh-huh…” The builder goes back to staring at the peculiar stuff in the glass. They shake it around a little, and the mystery goo jiggles with it.

…Does it still taste like tea?

They lift the glass towards their face.

“No.”

Would it feel like jelly in their mouth? Or would it just dissolve instantly?

“Do not.”

Is it chewy? Crunchy on the inside? Sticky? Gummy?

“I implore you.”

Was this like one of Fang’s weird potions that turns them different colors? Or maybe it would turn their bones to jelly…or knock them out…or melt their tongue off…or—

Qi snatches the glass out of their hand with an exasperated look on his face. “H-How about we safely discard this substance and not risk our lives consuming it?”

The builder freezes, tongue halfway out. “Aw, come on! It’s for science!”

“Science does not involve pouring unknown substances down every orifice. And kindly remind me to bar you from entering the Research Center whenever I’m running any experiment with chemicals.”

The builder snorts. “You know, I still have that bottle of sulfuric acid you gave me somewhere…”

“I’m confiscating it immediately.”

“Aw…” The builder slumps, but they can’t hide the mischievous grin on their face.

Qi lets out a sigh. It wasn’t everyday that he was the voice of reason among them. He inspects the glass again with a frown. “Hold on…”

The builder raises an eyebrow.

After a brief turnover of the glass, Qi's eyes widen. “Ah, that makes sense. This is one of my glassware pieces.”

The builder feels the blood drain from their face. “...From your home office…?”

“Yes, I was wondering where this one went. A couple days ago, I used it in an experiment where—”

“We need to pour that tea into every glass we have.”

“Eh? Wh-what—?”

“How much glassware are you missing?”

“Um…I believe I’m still missing one other glass— Ah.”

And so begins a process: line all the cups in the cabinet out on the table, pour a little tea into one of them, and swish it around a bit. If nothing happened, rinse and repeat with the next one.

Glass number 6 turns the green tea a very unappealing brown.

The builder and Qi exchange a look.

“...We need to label these.”

“...Indeed. Lest we want to suffer an unpleasant demise.”

The builder looks down at the pitcher. It’s almost empty now. “Shame about the tea. Wasted a whole lot of it.”

“Unfortunately so. I…can brew another kettle?”

The builder smiles and nods. “We’ll just drink straight from the pitcher this time.”

------------

A/N: Btw, sometimes some spouses have a chance of making "gourmet" or better than average dishes with better perks. After trawling through the text file of the game, there appear to be no such options for Qi's dishes (summer sand tea, milk chestnut, tea porridge, tea egg). So poor Qi can always mess up his dishes, but can never make anything better than average.

It's okay tho we still love him

[purplesurveys]

1841

What's the most worthwhile thing you've done in the last year? I've mentioned it to death at this point, but traveling to Thailand with my friends and seeing Yoongi in concert before he went off to military service. It was the first accessible tour BTS had (the previous ones were all in the US), and my friends and I needed it to happen for us.

What foods make you want to gag? I have a strong stomach when it comes to food and typically have no problem with textures, smells, all that stuff...my biggest issue is not liking fruits, but they're not necessarily something I gag over. I just don't like how they taste.

Do you consider yourself to be organized? Like what I've said before, I'm a messy kind of organized so idk where that falls under. I can be careless when placing things but I always remember where everything is.

Have you ever made out with someone? Yes.

What time do you get sleepy? Usually around 1 or 2 AM.

What music do you listen to? I nearly exclusively listen to K-pop these days.

How old were you when you started to walk? I would guess a little over 1 year old, since I have home videos from my 1st birthday party and those clips would show that I was still struggling to keep myself up. Kinda surprising and I would consider that delayed, since I have cousins who were able to walk at like 10-11 months old.

Which member of your family do you get along with the best? My sister. We have the same sense of humor and we generally have an excellent silent understanding of each other's moods.

What cheers you up when you're sad? My dogs, BTS, and wrestling. But I'm also generous towards myself - if I'm in a really down mood, I don't force myself to cheer up anymore.

What do you sleep in? My designated lounge clothes, which is really just a collection of thin, short, and airy pieces. Can't be all covered up in this tropical climate.

Have you ever tanned topless? I wouldn't want to do that. Even if you tell me I'd have an island to myself, I think I'd still be too shy to go topless.

Wear jewelry? I used to have a necklace constantly on, but I took it off a few months ago. It's sitting on my drawer for now.

What's something you've been told you're good at? Writing. And planning, in the sense of crafting PR pitches - which tbh is just an offshoot of writing as every presentation deck needs a strong and compelling narrative.

How much can you eat? Not a lot in one go; I have a very small appetite and rarely finish a full meal, unless I'm at home.

What's the furthest away you've ever traveled? Just around Southeast and East Asia.

Are you a cat or dog person? Dog!

Have you ever done drugs? Only once.

What does your room look like? It's certainly a lot homier and cozier than it used to be - a year ago we had some renovations done and upgraded my bed to a loft-style one, which was able to save a ton of space. That meant I could add some more stuff in my room that would help make it a comfier spot, so right now I have a loft bed with my work station under it, and dedicated shelves for all my K-pop merch. I also have a makeshift couch where I can hang if I don't feel like climbing up to my bed.

Recommend a really amazing book. I'd just recommend the last one I read since I don't read frequently - Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982.

Recommend a really amazing song. Wild Flower by RM or First Love by Suga. Amygdala by Suga is also good.

Recommend a really amazing movie. Steve Jobs.

Who's your favorite actor/actress? Kate Winslet and Audrey Hepburn.

Have you ever run away from home? No.

Do you exercise ever? The lack of exercise I do I make up for by walking as much as I can and as far as I can. I recently learned that I have low blood pressure, so that has explained a lot for me as far as why I seem to hate exercising so much.

Do you like your hair, the way it is and the colour? It has its good days but admittedly it's something I've been neglecting. It's way overdue for a new dye job and a major trim.

Do you have any friends named Baloo? Or is he just in the Junglebook? I don't know anyone named Baloo.

Are you a Disney movie fan? I'm not a superfan by any means, but I have my share of Disney movies that I really love.

Do you eat seafood? Yes. I had a ton of it just earlier.

When was the last time you cried? Couple of days ago, but they were good tears.

Do you have good working habits? I like to think so. I've slowed down in the last year or so and while that might give off the impression that I'm not as good as I used to be, the fact of the matter is I overworked myself to death when I was just starting out, and have simply learned how to strike the balance between setting boundaries while still performing at the quality I should be delivering.

So where the hell do you want to go in life? I just want to continue being responsible with my savings while not forgetting to enjoy life. I don't want to push myself on a leash, but I don't want to go out of bounds with my means either.

Contentment. It's a cliché answer but it's what I'm perfectly okay going for.

What are your boundaries? The only boundaries I can think of now are all work-related, but I'm glad to say I've been learning to keep those walls up and to not be a slave for my job.

What are some of the funniest things you can think of? I recently remembered the existence of the WWE musical chairs segment, and that was a treat to unlock from my memory hahaha.

What are two quirky little things about you? Thinking of 'quirky' things kinda makes me feel self-conscious, and it might be better asking someone else. What's quirky for me might just be otherwise normal without me knowing hahaha.

Are you claustrophobic? Nah not really, I don't have a lot of problem with being in cramped spaces or super crowded spots. If anything it just makes me annoyed hahaha.

Do you like getting wasted? I like getting a good amount of tipsy in that I become more extroverted and energized than usual, but I've graduated from blackout drunkenness. Not something I'd want to experience again.

List three things that you look for in a friend. Low-maintenance, on a similar wavelength humor- and vibe-wise, is talkative and likes to share stories and ask questions.

Do you prefer Angels and Airwaves or Rhianna? Rihanna.

What religion are you, if any? I haven't identified with any religion in nearly 15 years, although I was baptized as Roman Catholic and technically that's what I am.

If your house was on fire (and your family escaped), what would you save? If family already includes the dogs, I'd simply go for my phone before making my way out.

Do you have any sash belts? No.

What do you have on right now? Include everything, nail polish, makeup, etc BB cream, hair serum, t-shirt, culottes, a hair tie, glasses.

Does caffeine make you hyper? It keeps me awake and focused, but not hyper.

[between-a-ship-and-a-hard-place]

8 Shows To Know Me

Thank you @sparkagrace for the tag! I had to spend some time thinking about this one. (I'm honestly terrible at finishing TV shows even if I like them.). But here in no particular order:

Veronica Mars

Little tween me loved this show! When the first season was airing here I used to biked over to my grandparents house on Tuesday evenings because we didn't have that TV channel at home. Maybe the first time I can recall really being a Fan of something, as in like going on The Internet and looking for more content and saving wallpapers and stuff.

(and then they made a new season and ruined everything...)

NCIS

This was a staple in my house when I was like 12-15. Me and my dad and my brother used to watch this (along with a bunch of other shows in similar genres: Criminal Minds, CSI, the Mentalist, etc.)

Good Omens

Love it, ship it, can't wait for season 2!

Normal People

Sorry Tej for copying your answer but: oh god yes! I finished it and immediately wanted to start from ep1 again. I actually finally read the book recently and I kept hearing Connell's lines in Paul Mescal's voice. The show and book complement each other so well.

Skam

The OG Norwegian one of course. I feel like the gif explains it all, but the other seasons are also very good.

Young Royals

Which is basically Skam meets Red, White and Royal Blue and it's amazing of course. Also as a Swedish-speaking person it's kind of hilarious to observe the English fandom for this show and sees people analyze scenes and lines.

Foyle's War (and Midsomer Murders and Agatha Christie's Marple)

Another nostalgia trip. Okay I realize it's sort of cheating to lump these together but you get the picture: brutal murders in cozy British settings. This was a summer holiday tradition, there was always a season of one of these on in the evenings.

But if I had to pick one it would be Foyle's War because I think the storyline outside the whodunnit is most compelling in this one. (Also if anyone knows where you can stream this nowadays, let me know!)

Sherlock

Yeah what can I say I enjoyed it. I was not on tumblr during Those Times but it's the one of the holy trinity that I've actually watched all of.

Okay, that's it, you're welcome to judge my tastes and personality now.

Tagging: @booksandabeer @dontcallmebree @its-tortle @frozen-fountain @burberrycanary (obvs no pressure and maybe you've already done this, I haven't been around much in a little bit)

[housewarningparty]

3 and 25

3. What were your top five books of the year?

Alright HERE'S where I'm gonna answer for series - I already had a separate answer for standalone books

1. The Golden Enclaves by Naomi Novik (Scholomance #3) - LOVED this conclusion to the Scholomance trilogy. I read books 1 and 2 during December 2022 and did 3 in the first week of January and it was one of the most satisfying conclusions to a series I've ever read. And I'm NOT just saying that bc it's the book where most of the gay shit happens. Leaving the school and having the world open up so much felt so good. I love Orion but having him out of the way for most of the book felt like a good choice to me - it made a lot of room for El's relationships with other characters and the role she decides to take on in the fight against mals. I remember at some point while I was reading the earlier books skimming past some essay or other identifying the Scholomance as like a climate change metaphor and being so puzzled by it - and then getting to the end of Golden Enclaves and being like OHHHH. YEAH. I GET IT.

2. Jade Legacy by Fonda Lee (Green Bone Saga #3) - AGAIN talk about satisfying conclusions. I know some people didn't like this book as much especially bc of issues they have with Hilo at the beginning but to me it all felt in character and didn't diminish anything about my enjoyment. I enjoy how often Lee takes the time to remind the audience that the characters are flawed and sometimes petty or foolish or cruel, even while you root for them. The scale of this book surprised me - SO much time passes, the characters and the world all change so much. I was genuinely shocked by some of the things that happened in this book. I've still got Jade Shards and The Jade Setter of Janloon to go, but man am I gonna be sad to say goodbye to this setting (at least for a while). Absolutely one of my all-time favorite fantasy series of all time now.

3. The Traitor by Anthony Ryan (Covenant of Steel #3) - honestly this could be any of the Covenant of Steel books. I just finished The Traitor this past weekend but this isn't a recency bias thing - I read The Pariah and The Martyr back to back in August. There's something I really love about Ryan's style - his characters are fucked up but compelling, his worlds feel accessible but still like they have depth and intricacy. I love his Seven Swords novellas and I'm constantly trying to get people to read them bc I think they're a great way to get a taste for his strengths as a writer and hopefully enough to whet your appetite for a more complex, in depth series like Covenant. The books are detailed and they definitely have some parts that can drag a little - but when you DO get hooked they're just propulsive. Super compelling low fantasy that builds and builds in really interesting ways. Great characters.

4. Before They are Hanged by Joe Abercrombie (First Law Book #2) - alright First Law is like TRUE grimdark. Seriously - the end of the final book was extremely brutal. Which is why book 2 ended up being my favorite of the first trilogy, actually. Before They are Hanged is the most straightforward adventure story of the bunch and it has a relatively optimistic ending. There are still gruesome and brutal things happening on the page (and frequently!) but there's such a strong sense of momentum building. The character work for Jezal in this book is so damn good - Abercrombie got me to do a full 180 on him here. (And a 360 by the third book lmao). Abercrombie is a masterful writer, the dark humor running through the story helps keep it readable when things get very bleak.

5. The Justice of Kings by Richard Swan (Empire of the Wolf #1) - another grimdark fantasy that whips ass tbh. Really great low fantasy setting. Something I really enjoyed in Empire of the Wolf books AND in the Covenant of Steel is the conflict between state power and religious power and how the people losing the most are the commons in the middle. Justice of Kings sets this up beautifully - I loved the way it slowly zooms out to this larger world-altering conflict after beginning the story as a sort of medieval fantasy murder-mystery. I also think the magic system is so cool and scary. The atmosphere in this book was incredible too - even just thinking back on it makes everything feel miserable and wet and tense despite the fact that as I write this it's kind of picturesquely sunny with white fluffy clouds outside for me. (I DO have to finish the follow-up book Tyranny of Faith, but I think I'll probably pull that off in January next year tbh)

25. What reading goals do you have for next year?

I wanna continue on with more series! And I want to keep challenging myself with long books. I got some Tad Williams stuff in a humble bundle earlier this year, so I'm thinking of taking on Memory Sorrow and Thorn next year as a way to satisfy this desire. A little intimidated by the length but I think it could end up being v rewarding.

End of Year Book Asks

[catty-words]

Your writing is so good that I’m almost tempted to binge all of your other shows so I can read more of it with proper context. You’re one of my all-time favorite authors (both published and non). Thanks for your work!

stooop i'm blushing and getting those sweet, naturally-induced ASMR tinglies. 😳🥺 thank you for this message!

if you want my hot takes on what's worth it, i am quite please with 90% of my julie and the phantoms fic (particularly the therapy fic, and i think the stage diving fic holds up as a good time) and the show itself has a low barrier to entry. it's sweet, it's silly, it's one 9-episode season, and the cliffhanger is compelling but doesn't stop the single season from feeling like a complete enough story so as to be unsatisfying. it's sometimes too much 'written for children' for my tastes but the soundtrack slaps and its quality on its face + the themes of the show all centering around art = essential to life genuinely reinvigorated my love for music and led me to reinvent my musical tastes.

have you already watched crazy ex-girlfriend? i have a complicated relationship with this one because season four spun its wheels so much when the premise and execution up until that point made it some of the most poignant television i've ever had the pleasure of watching. the fact that the end was so mishandled means i haven't been able to bring myself to revisit it since its conclusion. i also haven't reread much of my fic - no taste for languishing in my crazy ex feels, y'know? - so i don't know how well it holds up. to the show's credit, though, being in the crazy ex fandom irreversibly shaped my relationship to shipping and how i approach writing romance (a good case for it having delivered on its themes, even if the end itself is so disappointingly weak). my nhie fic being so well cultivated is owed to my work/time in crazy ex girlfriend fan spaces. but do i recommend it? eh, i really don't know! it let me down and i'm not over that.

cw's nancy drew just finished its fourth and final season, and it's a good time! the editing is really sharp, which helps it take advantage of its genre, but it's not overly scary or upsetting. it's horror-lite! furthermore, it's buffy-style literary horror, where the ghosts stand in for more concrete, everyday problems our characters are dealing with. and ace [redacted] is the character of all time, okay? i feel very genderrrrrr about him; i want a miniature version of him to live in my pocket. the cherry on top is that my fic for the show is freaking cute.

do not watch the 100, do not read my 100 fic. i mean, you can if you want to, but i was in a weird and performative space with my own sexuality when i was fucking with the source material and being in a much better place with myself now, it brings me no pleasure to think about my days in that fandom. also the show did literally everyone dirty, i don't know any fans who feel like their investment in it paid off.

i still haven't watched season four and the show eventually ensambles too hard for the amount of time it has each episode, but sex education is a solid show. i've always found it very atmospheric, its world comfortably lived-in, and some of the characters are near and dear to my heart. last i checked, my fic is the only fic worth reading in the fandom, too, so...

final hot take: i don't care for the witcher's relationship to parenthood, which is like, the show's whooooole deal thematically-speaking. it's a testament to how entertained i am by the slutty little bard that i fuck with it at all. but my witcher fic? contains some of the most beautiful lines i've ever written.

do with this onslaught of information what you will.

[vikktoriouxgames]

Octopath Traveler 2 is one of the best JRPGs I've played in my life.

Octopath Traveler 2 is an instant classic, monumentally fantastic JRPG, and I recommend it on the same level that I recommend Final Fantasy 6 and Golden Sun. It is Amazing, however I can see that there is still room for improvement.

Octopath traveler 2 is better than Octopath traveler 1 in every single aspect. Dialogue, voice acting, writing, combat, exploration, items, world building and cohesion, connective plot, Characters, the literal only thing I can't bring myself to say Octopath 2 did better is the music because the music is absolutely amazing in both titles.

Most of the character's stories (Hikari's sucks) are actually interesting and compelling plot lines that made me want to see them through to the end. The connective tissue between these character's stories is much more present and makes them feel more tied together. There are a lot of very subtle references to things that occur in other character's stories or the places they go that make them feel like they're actually happening in the world. There much more character interaction, having 4 additional mini stories featuring groups of 2, and a lot of travel banter that is actually quite relevant and worth paying attention to. Towards the end of the game however we get to see all 8 of the characters interact and sadly it made me realize that if they could have had something of that level throughout the rest of the game it would probably be the best RPG I've ever played.

The combat is similar to the first game and you'll find no complaints from me there, I loved the flow of combat in the original. However, to freshen it up there is this new layer of strategy with some more mechanical depth that is very welcome. Every character in the game is given something unique to them and it just works, it's great!

The first game left me with a sour taste in my mouth at the ending because of how unresolved everything felt, but thankfully they were able to wrap things up in a MUCH better way. When I finished the first game I never wanted to play another game made by this studio again. I'm not quite sure what got me so excited for this one, but I'm glad I decided to give them another chance, because now I can't wait to see what they make next.

[cowboyhorsegirl]

my eyes spy a character opinion ask game, so you know what im here to do.

i want the opinions™ on the emh!avengers 👀

(or just tony, and 2 other characters of your choice if the avengers is too many characters.)

thank you so muchhhhhh for the ask! :D

i started trying to answer this by narrowing down which 3 characters to put up on the bingo board and you can clearly see how well that went jfkdsljfdfk

Tony Stark

EMH!Tony characterization AND character design is so fucking *clenches fist* just!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know i've talked about EMH!Tony specifically at length before but unfortunately the words simply aren't coming to me right now to describe how much i like him (I like him so, so much). One thing I will say is that I miss the way his nose looked in the first episode before they finished yassifying his character design. He still looks great after they change it, but S1E1 "Iron Man Is Born!" Tony is my desi king and i adore him <3

Steve Rogers

I love EMH!Steve so much, I feel like of the multiversal Steve's, this Steve is much more self-assured, specifically in the period of time immediately after he is found in the ice by the Avengers. His character design took some getting used to, but honestly by the end of S1, he had fully won me over to the point where I no longer feared for the structural integrity of his top-heavy weight distribution and actually liked how Shaped he is.

This Steve is a bastard who's first name is Malicious and last name is Compliance, and we love him for it. I adored how you could see him actively loosening up around the other Avengers as he spent more and more time with them. The difference between Steve just out of the ice and Steve at the end of S1 is so palpable and it's incredibly satisfying to see him come into himself more as he adjusts to the future and to his team.

My only complaint is while i was enthralled by the [REDACTED] story arc, I'm still very salty about the fact that Steve is basically MIA for like. half a season :/ which considering the whole show only lasted two seasons is upsetting :(

Janet Van Dyne

I actually managed to pull together some coherent thoughts about Jan here, but the long and short of it is that I love her I'd marry her I'd die for her I'd kill for her she's a bestie she's my ride or die she's so high maintenance she's got terrible taste in men she's got incredible taste in women she keeps tissues in her purse but she never cries in public.

Her character design.... literally what is there to say? Perfection, perfection, perfection, *chef's kiss*, absolutely not a single note because she is flawless.

I also have a very soft spot for scenes in which her teammates protect her from huge explosions while she's Wasp-sized <3 <3 They all care about her so much and she's so fierce and competent but it's also so lovely to see her teammates having her back when she needs it :')

Bruce Banner

Honestly EMH!Bruce Banner is my favorite iteration of Bruce Banner/Hulk that I've seen yet. I really really really really appreciate how, even though Hulk has comedic moments, his character is not reduced to comic relief. And I loved how the show portrayed Hulk's and Bruce's relationship with each other, the way they're both distinct personalities who are both good people that ultimately want the same things (acceptance, the chance to do & be good in the world) while also being caught in this struggle to balance power and control between them that sometimes catches them at odds with each other. Extremely compelling stuff.

I love both of their character designs separately. I also love how both of them interact with other people, namely Clint. EMH S1 especially is rife with bruceclint fodder if you're interested in that ship!

Dr. Doom

Oh my god, what's NOT to love about EMH!VVD???? Truly, EMH is Victor Von Doom's world and we're all just living in it. He has such a commanding presence in the (sadly few) scenes that he's in, and I love how whatever the Avengers/Fantastic Four are doing is always incidental to what he's got planned. Like, yeah, he gets that they're trying to stop him but he truly could not care less about it and that's so hot of him.

My headcanon is that every single character in EMH has a daddy kink for Dr. Doom and NO i am not projecting and if i were what of it? Mind your business.

Hank Pym

Now Hank... Hank is a tough one. I don't think it's any secret that I despise him, and for all of S1 and most of S2 that was very true. The problem with Hank is that politically, I fuck with him the hardest, but unfortunately for him I do not watch animated children's TV shows from the early 2010s to get my politics validated. And unfortunately for ME, EMH made the character who has the best politics also the most annoying motherfucker in the series. *spits*

But the thing is, Hank makes a very intense about-turn in characterization somewhere in the middle of S2. Basically, what happens is that at the beginning of EMH, Hank is Ant-Man, some time in late S1/early S2 (I can't really remember whoops!), Hank stops being Ant-Man and it's all very angsty of him, and then the big characterization change happens when Hank is revealed to have created a new superhero persona by the name of Yellowjacket.

All of this mostly makes sense in canon, but even so it's kind of jarring, which is almost 100% due to the fact that the creators of the show knew they only had like 3/4ths of a season left to tie up all the loose plot threads as best they could. Because of this, the show ended before I could really see how New-And-Improved Hank deals with a lot of the personal, interpersonal, and professional conflicts that plagued him during S1, which would have been really fun to see and to judge if he really had changed as much as it seemed like he had. It's all very interesting. IDK how I feel about it.

I also want to say that, even though I (mostly) can't stand Hank and I desperately love Jan, Jan and Hank together is a terrible, terrible couple and it's not all Hank's fault either. Hank doesn't trust Jan's autonomy and capabilities in the field. Jan doesn't respect Hank's scientific endeavors and professional passions. Both of them fundamentally disagree on the roles and responsibilities of superheroes in society. It's a mess. I like to believe that if the show hadn't been cancelled, there would have been an arc of Tony and Jan dating each other in order to make both of their real romantic interests jealous, which would have at least made all this back and forth worth it, but alas. Alas...

[excusethequality]

My 2024 in Film: March, part. 2

I keep pulling open this draft, making a couple changes, then getting cold feet and deciding to finish it later. But not anymore...

I'm gonna finish it right now, goshdarnit!

It would appear that in the back half of March I was watching some really random shit. So I feel compelled to mention that if you see me watching a large string of movies that make you question my sense of taste as a whole, it's usually a sign.

When I'm working on projects like drawing, or editing images to make stupid jokes, or inputting data into lists, I like to put on a little movie to help me stay on task.

Since I do need to pay attention to what I'm doing as well, I'll usually put on something I've seen before, or something a little silly that I know won't demand 100% of my attention, lest I miss any subtle nuance or stunning cinematography.

Similarly I also put them on when I'm having trouble sleeping, because when you're sleepy but not sleeping your brain can't keep up with the big league players and needs something simple.

So while I do watch weird and obscure movies for fun and sport, I'm not just living in the sewer. There's some good things in here too, I swear!

In other news, while I tag my original posts, I feel like I should also have a specific tag to use for these movie lists. So if you have a good suggestion of something fun to use as a tag for them, let me know.

And with that shopkeeping out of the way: onto the movies!

* = rewatches

58.

Wishmaster

(1997)

— Fantasy Horror Directed by: Robert Kurtzman

An appraiser accidentally releases a Djinn trapped in a gemstone. If she wants to be free of its terror she's going to have to find a way to beat it at its game before it can force her to make three wishes, freeing itself to destroy the world.

I'm pretty sure I have never seen this before, BUT a friend did once tell me the plot and have me watch the opening scene. So for a brief bit after I started it had me wondering.

To my friend's credit the opening scene is truly something. They just unleashed the practical effects team and seemingly told them to make whatever weird shit they could think of. If I remember anything from this movie years from now, it'll probably just be that scene.

The rest of the movie is not nearly as epic, but it has it's moments.

File this under ridiculous movies to watch with friends.

59.

Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies

(1999)

— Direct-to-video Fantasy Horror Sequel Directed by: Jack Sholder

A robber steals the Djinn's gemstone and now... That's right! If she wants to be free of its terror she's going to have to find a way to beat it at its game before it can force her to make three wishes, etc, etc.

A fair bit worse than the first one. It has some fun and wacky moments though.

Even more so than the first, it's not something I'd recommend watching without a friend to laugh at it with.

60.

Wishmaster 3: Beyond the Gates of Hell

(2001)

— Direct-to-video Fantasy Horror Sequel Directed by: Chris Angel

A college student comes across a Djinn trapped in a gemstone and, well, you know the rest.

In case you were wondering, yes, there does come a time when I regret going down certain movie rabbit holes.

For the Wishmaster movies, this was the point that I knew I made a terrible mistake. Especially since I knew I was going to have to watch the next one. Because I just can't bring myself to quit when I'm so close to the finish line! I've gotta finish the series off, right?

Are the first two movies great? Not especially.

But they have their own weird charm.

To be specific they have two things going for them: Andrew Divoff's oddly weird yet memorable performance as the Djinn, and the spectacle of the crazy wish granting.

This movie has neither of those things.

I'm not even sure that the filmmakers are aware of what an ironic wish even is, because so many of the wishes don't even make sense. Add that with the fact that they have no budget to speak of resulted in even the wishes being dull.

I will give it this, while I'm pretty sure I'll forget most everything about this movie by the end of year, there's one part that I can't unsee. At one point the protagonist makes a wish so absolutely bonkers that I had to pause the movie and walk away from it for a few minutes to digest what just happened.

61.

Wishmaster: The Prophecy Fulfilled

(2002)

—Direct-to-video Fantasy Horror Sequel Directed by: Chris Angel

A woman comes into possession of a gemstone housing a Djinn. But what happens if her third wish is something the Djinn can't grant?

I'll say this about it: Michael Trucco is a way better actor than the dude they got for 3. He's still not up to par with the original guy, but significantly better than the previous one.

I don't even know anymore. I think it's better than 3? But mostly because it's just profoundly weirder? Like, I don't wanna do spoilers or anything, but it's a weird idea for a plot that somehow gets weirder as it goes on.

But it's the same director as 3 and I believe they were filmed immediately after one another, so don't expect it to be too different.

Also if all the Djinn need to do is grant someone three wishes to free themselves, then why do they do this monkeypaw shit at all? When you fuck someone over right out of the gate it makes them significantly less inclined to make more wishes. Just grant the people their stupid whims, then destroy the world or whatever, you dummies. No wonder you got your dumb ass trapped in a stone.

62.

Freaky

(2020)

— Slasher Comedy Directed by: Christopher Landon

A serial killer's attempt to kill a high schooler goes terribly wrong when they wind up switching bodies instead.

A movie I was excited to see, but never got around to because it came out during COVID. I'm a big fan of the director's previous movie (Happy Death Day) so I had high hopes for this.

I dunno, it's fun. It's nothing I'd write home about, but if I had seen it in the theater I wouldn't have left with any regrets. It definitely relies more on performances than plot. But both Kathryn Newton and Vince Vaughn are doing a great job. It's a fun premise competently done.

Also, was my high school just poor or do most high schools not have cryo-freezing gym pods? Because that part confused the hell out of me.

63.

Magic

(1978)

— Thriller Directed by: Richard Attenborough Based on: Magic by. William Goldman

A magician turned ventriloquist on the verge of a big break has a breakdown and must figure out if a life with the dummy is what he really wants.

This movie has a bonkers cast: Anthony Hopkins, Burgess Meredith, and Ann Margaret? Obviously I had to watch that.

It's kind of exactly what you'd expect from a thriller about a ventriloquist dummy? Apparently it had a theatrical release, but it has serious made-for-tv vibes. I mean, it's hitting all the beats on the made-for-tv checklist.

Small cast of big-name actors whose names will catch a viewer's attention? Check.

Limited set locations? The vast majority of the movie takes place at a remote cabin, so definite check.

Based on a book? Check. Made-for-tv things LOVE being based on books. It's easier to adapt than create fresh, and you get name recognition from the book to entice more viewers.

I was gonna say it had a low budget, but apparently it actually had a pretty decent one. I don't know where it all went, but I'm gonna assume the majority went to getting those actors.

I don't think I'd recommend it to anyone who's not a film nerd though. It's fun seeing such big time actors in roles likes these, but I can't say the plot is anything to write home about.

64.*

Mad Max: Fury Road

(2015)

— Post Apocalyptic Action Adventure Directed by: George Miller

A man on the run from his past and a woman with her eyes on the future must team up in order to escape an evil warlord.

I was just watching this at home, but if you've never seen it before and you come across a chance to see it on the big screen? Take it. It's a movie that thrives on the big screen.

I was never big on the Mad Max franchise, but my gosh, this movie just goes so hard.

The effects and cinematography are top notch. And unlike so many action movies, it actually has a great story and really interesting characters.

Plus can we talk about Charlize Theron? She's so good! I know this surprises no one—because she's always good—but the emotional weight she brings to the movie is what really takes it into the upper echelon.

65.

Hell Comes to Frogtown

(1988)

— Post Apocalyptic Sci-Fi Action Adventure Directed by: Donald G. Jackson & R. J. Kizer

In a world where fertile humans are a rare and treasured commodity, a fertile man is forced into indentured servitude on a mission to free a group of fertile women from a group of mutant frogs so that he can impregnate them for science.

Somewhere between Cult Classic, 80s Cocaine-fueled madness, and Soft Core Porn, we find Hell Comes to Frogtown.

I'll give it this: it takes a brave group of people to dare to make a movie this deranged.

And yet, for something so incredibly weird, it's also incredibly forgettable.

I don't have anything much to say about this. It is exactly what it sounds like...except both much weirder and much duller than you're expecting it to be.

Think Super Mario Bros. (1993), but with more scantily-clad ladies, less manic energy, and less ambition.

Definitely the sort of thing to watch with a friend, because you'll want someone there to verify that the things you're seeing are real and not just a fever dream.

66.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2

(1986)

— Slasher Horror Sequel Directed by: Tobe Hooper

A radio DJ becomes the target of a family of cannibals.

I'm starting to feel that every Texas Chainsaw movie has to have a character I hate SO MUCH that it taints the whole movie for me. In the original it was Franklin. In this one it's Chop-Top.

I no longer remember what I thought this movie was going to be like, but this is not it. No one is going to get this reference, but this movie has some shocking similarities to Nothing But Trouble (1991). If that movie was inspired by this I would not be surprised.

(Nothing But Trouble didn't have Chop Top and did have a cameo from the Digital Underground, so clearly it improved upon the formula.)

I really wish I liked this more, because I quite like Stretch as our lead character and I was actually having a great time in the first third. But then Chop-Top showed up and I blocked out most of the rest for my own mental health.

67.

Sharks of the Corn

(2021)

— Trash Directed by: Tim Ritter

There's sharks in a corn field...because of reasons!

I cannot properly express to you the pain it caused me to have to replace Tootsie as the worst movie I've seen this year. But it truly forced my hand!

Quite possibly the worst piece of writing I have ever seen. I don't even want to believe that a human wrote this. If you told me AI wrote this and they just went with it without making a single change? I'd believe it.

Actually, I'd be thrilled to know that that's how this came to be.

I have seen literal small children write stories more coherent than whatever this was.

If this isn't the worst movie I see this year, please pray for me, because it would take something truly monstrous to take this out of last place.

68.

Next Friday

(2000)

— Comedy Sequel Directed by: Steve Carr

Deebo has escaped from prison and Craig goes to live with his Uncle and cousin in Rancho Cucamonga

Overall I didn't like this as much as Friday, but I still had a good time. I definitely missed Chris Tucker though.

69.

Zapped

(2014)

— Sci-Fi Comedy Directed by: Peter DeLuise Based on: Boys are Dogs by. Leslie Margolis

A high school girl whose mother's marriage has just given her a new set of brothers lucks out when her phone gains the ability to control boys.

I...I don't even know what to say.

Disney channel movies are crazy.

Definitely something to watch with a friend...unless you grew up with Disney channel movies, then you're probably desensitized to their specific brand of oddness and are fine to fly solo.

70.

It's a Boy Girl Thing

(2006)

— Body-Swap Rom-Com Directed by: Nick Hurran

Two high schoolers wind up switching bodies after making a wish in front of an ancient relic.

The hunt for experiments in gender continue!

And the results are in: this is not one of them.

This is once again a Freaky Friday scenario. And also another one where both actors are playing a gender as opposed to playing the other character.

This just strengthens my theory that Rom-Coms are the most unhinged of all genres. Because some parts of this get so much crazier than I was ever expecting.

71.

The Music Man

(1962)

— Musical Rom-Com Directed by: Morton DaCosta

A grifter's plan to scam a small town into investing in a town band hits a snag when he catches feelings for the local librarian.

Right off the bat, can I mention that getting towns to invest in a fake marching band has got to be the world's weirdest con job. Like...what? There has got to be easier ways to con people out of money.

After loving Robert Preston in Victor/Victoria I wanted some more of him. And while I have seen a school production of The Music Man, I've never seen a film version.

This might be a weird take, but having now seen this as a film, I think the only way to properly see this musical is to watch a Middle/High School production of it. It just works better that way.

I can't properly explain why, but trust me on this. Go see a school production and then try and tell me I'm wrong. It's just got a weird sort of energy that can only be properly captured by youths playing adults.

72.

Promising Young Woman

(2020)

— Drama Thriller Directed by: Emerald Fennell

A woman plagued by regrets from the past is forced to confront what her mission of revenge means for her future.

I was curious about this one, but if I'm remembering correctly it came out right at the start of COVID...so I never did. And then I heard people saying it was too heavy handed and I never wound up seeing it.

But when I was working at the theater a coworker's praise for it made me want to give it a watch. And they were right, because it's not what I was expecting.

Anyone who says it's heavy-handed or a one-note story were not paying enough attention to character beats. I can see how someone would watch this and come away thinking it's just a Rape Revenge movie about a woman on a mission to get back at men.

But if you look a little closer you'll see it's actually the story about a woman who lost her best friend to the patriarchy and the confusion and guilt and horror of that drives her to self destructive acts.

She's compelled to try and do something, anything, to fix a system that one person just can't fix. And her inability to affect meaningful change on her own compels her towards increasingly dangerous acts.

It's not a story about justice, it's a story about living in a world where justice is impossible and no one wants to talk about it.

I dunno. There's so much going on under the hood of this one. I'm definitely going to have to see this one again.

73.*

Long Shot

(2019)

— Rom Com Directed by: Jonathan Levine

An internet journalist is hired as a speechwriter by his former babysitter (aka the current U.S. Secretary of State) in her bid for a Presidential run.

Oh, friends, this one has me conflicted!

Charlize Theron is phenomenal and makes the film. I'm still not a huge Seth Rogan fan, but I'll admit that I like him more in this than usual. June Diane Raphael is always superb. O'Shea Jackson Jr. was a delight until his character came out as a republican.

I really want to love this one, but I can never seem to suspend my disbelief enough to really get into this. American politics long ago killed any sort of hope or trust I could have in the political system. So the whole movie I'm just thinking that either she will cave in to the myriad of forces trying to stop progress or those forces will conspire against her and destroy her career.

But you know me, I'm a sucker for Charlize Theron, so I'll definitely wind up watching it again at some point in the future.

(Also, this is neither here nor there, but Todd McFarlane sucks. Of all the comic artists you could choose from, why would you choose him? Did he bribe you with baseballs or something?)

74.

Hey...Stop Stabbing Me!

(2003)

— SOV Horror Comedy Directed by: Josh Miller

A recent college grad desperate is forced to take a chance on a shady housing opportunity.

I always feel compelled to explain myself when I have to mention to you all that I watched things like this, lest you judge my tastes too harshly.

I watched it because I saw it on a list of movies that were filmed in Minnesota and it sounded weird and it was on Tubi.

I had a number of things I thought I'd talk about as I watched it, but then it started making some statutory rape jokes. So why waste my time discussing it?

Fuck this movie. It's stupid.

The two guys who made this went on to write the 2020 Sonic the Hedgehog movie. Which just goes to show that the world is a truly strange place.

75.

Friday After Next

(2002)

— Christmas Comedy Directed by: Marcus Raboy

Christmas time is right around the corner and Craig and Day-Day have to come up with a way to pay their rent after they're robbed by a man dressed as Santa Claus.

Would I have decided to watch this one if I was aware it was a Christmas movie? Probably not! But you know what? Sometimes you just gotta play the cards your dealt.

Still not as good as the original, but I still had a good time.

76.

Luca

(2021)

— Animated Fantasy Adventure Directed by: Enrico Casarosa

Two young merfolk take to dry land in search of friendship, adventure, and freedom.

On my list of actors I just don't like you will find Jacob Tremblay. I usually don't like to throw child actors under the bus, but Tremblay seemingly made a name for himself by portraying kids with various mental and physical disorders? (Ones he does not have mind you.)Room (2015), Burn Your Maps (2016), Wonder (2017), The Predator (2018).

And I know you can't really blame a kid for taking such roles in the way you'd blame an adult. But still! I think he's nearly 20 now. Maybe I'll feel better about the cringe of his career if he is ever like, "You know what, looking back on it, I wish I hadn't played an autistic character in The Predator." But until then I reserve my right to dislike his performances and general career path.

Anyways, this is just a really long way of saying that I had to switch it off English, because I have no desire to listen to Jacob Tremblay for an hour and a half.

It would have been nice if the disc had the Italian audio track, given that it's set in Italy, but both the French and Spanish dubs were superb.

Overall it's cute. Not sure I'll remember much of anything about it a year from now though. It approaches some bigger themes, but never fully commits to fleshing them out.

In The Little Mermaid they really establish Ariel as a character and get into WHY she yearns to break out of her status quo and stand on her own two feet. And here, it's more or less just some kids being kids and liking to explore and get away from overbearing parents.

Which is fine and all, but I've seen that storyline 1,000 times before, so unless you really do something new with it, it's liable to get lost in the crowd of my brain.

77.

The Colony

(2013)

— Frost Punk Horror Directed by: Jeff Renfroe

Humanity's attempts to control the weather have resulted in the planet being blanketed in a permanent Winter, driving the last remnants of civilization into underground bunkers to survive. But if you had a chance to set everything right, what would you be willing to risk?

I spent a lot of this movie wondering where I knew the main dude from and I finally broke and looked it up. He was familiar because he was the main guy from It's a Boy Girl Thing way back up there in movie #70.

And speaking of actors I just don't care for, let's add Bill Paxton to the list. I wasn't sure about it until this movie, but I've decided that I just don't care for his performances. I don't think he's ever pretended to have autism for a role though, so let's put him somewhere above Tremblay.

Laurence Fishburne is in this and the highlight of the movie. I hope he got paid a lot of money for it, because dear gods, he is way too good for this movie.

I don't even know what to say. It's not a good movie. It's just a bland sort of thing that floats halfway between Sci-fi and Horror and is too afraid to plant its flag anywhere solid.

I don't really see any reason to watch this unless you're trying to watch Laurence Fishburne's entire filmography.

78.*

The Other F Word

(2011)

— Documentary Directed by: Andrea Blaugrund

The followers of the Punk movement believed in living fast, dying young, and challenging authority at every turn. But how have those ideals changed now that some of those men are now fathers?

I had seen this in theaters back when it came out and I liked it then and I still like it now.

The main criticisms I see are ones that say that it tries to do too much, and I'd actually agree with that. It never really picks a lane. It could do a deep dive on how the ideals of a punk movement that never expected to live this long have changed now that they've gotten older. They could do it on what does parenthood itself mean to these older punks and how their pasts have influenced their parenting style. And more.

The film kind of does a little bit of everything. I wouldn't say it does anything poorly. I just think it has stumbled onto a fascinating topic that I want more from. So I love it for showing me what it could and leaving me wanting more.

I think it's a really great documentary.

I really only have two criticisms:

The Jim Lindberg bits were the only parts I'd really change. Some of them felt like a different kind of documentary altogether. I get it's because the idea for the movie comes from his book "Punk Rock Dad," but still. Those parts sometimes veered more into a biography style of documentary at times.

I don't think there was any real reason to have to be solely focused on fathers, instead of looking at parents in general. And it's especially weird to me that the framed it that way but then prominently feature Laura Jane Grace's song "I Was a Teenage Anarchist," even though their framing won't let them interview her, even though she is a parent too! I'm a fan so I've read her memoir and seen interviews with her and I know she has a lot she could add to the topic of punk icons who are now parents. As could lots of other punk parents.

But as a whole, I think it's a great documentary that both gives you a lot to think about and a desire to seek out even more information about these people and the history of the punk movement.

79.*

Weekend at Bernie's

(1989)

— Comedy Directed by: Ted Kotcheff

An opportunity for two low level employees at an insurance company to get in good with the big boss goes wrong when the boss winds up dead. But...what if no one knew he was dead?

I haven't seen this since I was in high school and going through a phase where I was renting all the classic movies that I had always heard about to see what they were like.

My thoughts about it then are the same as my thoughts now: they had about 20 minutes of good ideas for the premise and then stretched that shit out into a 97 minute movie.

The result: weirdly forgettable considering the premise. There's some memorable scenes, but the plot is just there to service the concept. The characters are there to just service the concept. And because of that there's never any real stakes.

Not really something I'd recommend unless you're like me and are interested in seeing something that's been referenced quite a lot over the years for yourself.

80.

Gun Crazy

(1950)

— Crime Drama Directed by: Joseph H. Lewis Based on: "Gun Crazy" by. MacKinlay Kantor

Two gun lovers find acceptance in one another, but their relationship is put to the test when dreams of a grander life drives them to risk everything.

Some movie-loving friends had great things to say about this one so I figured I'd give it a shot. And I'm glad I did because it really surprised me.

I'll give you this warning though: don't judge it from the beginning. Just trust that it'll get significantly better.

Honestly my only real complaint with the movie is that some parts felt entirely superfluous. Like, I think if they cut out like 30 minutes I would have been singing this one's praises.

Part of that 30 minutes would be the entire beginning set up bit. Not only is it weirdly hokey, but nothing in it accomplishes anything that couldn't have been established with a line or two of expositional dialogue in a different scene.

The whole thing is beautifully shot in black and white. Great performances. Some just banger bits of dialogue. Just a real gem. Highly recommended.

——————

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March Stats

——————

Movies watched this month: 44

Rewatch percentage: 12.6% (6/44)

Favorite new movie of the month: Dick Johnson is Dead

Least favorite: Sharks of the Corn

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Previous Months' Posts:

JAN | FEB | MAR.p1

[pzagrilleandbar]

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Pizza is without a doubt one of my all-time favorite foods. My digestive system has been giving me a lot of trouble after I had nothing but pizza for an entire week. The extent to which I like pizza is well known among both my family and my close group of friends. When I was younger Pizza I used to be able to finish an entire pizza by myself. Now, I can't even get close. Now that there are so many delicious pizzas available, we should definitely have a party to celebrate. Our jam-packed schedules are able to make room for trips there very frequently as a result of the location's ease. I definitely remember having my first experience with the sensation of sexual desire when I was twelve years old. This was my first time having sexual encounters. When you are in town, where do you think has the best pizza, and would you recommend dining there? When you bake pizza at home, you have the opportunity to customize it in accordance with your preferences and specific tastes. Even if you are in the process of placing an order for pizza via the internet, there is no way to replicate the taste of a pie that was prepared from scratch. Although there are benefits to ordering pizza online, nothing can compare to the taste of a pie that has been prepared from scratch. The most mouthwatering pizza in the United States may be found sold by street vendors in a number of the country's most populous cities. We have pizza for dinner on Fridays to mark the end of the work week and welcome the beginning of the weekend. Even though I didn't feel like it at the time, I knew I had to give it my all in order to come out on top. I was determined to do so. It has been known for a long time that one of my numerous shortcomings is that I am unable to communicate adequately. We sampled a few distinct varieties of pizza before settling on this one in particular as our favorite. Because the validity of my visa had expired, I was not able to remain in the country any longer. Despite this, the explanations for my chronic tardiness are always acceptable. I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause. This unexpected turn of events has taken me by surprise and caught me off guard. I had not been expecting it. It won't be possible for me to place a call until I have all of the information first. I really wish I could make the most of this opportunity, but regrettably, I just do not have the means available to me right now to be able to do so. I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.

Because there was always frozen pizza in the freezer when I was a kid, I never had to worry about going hungry. I never went hungry. As a direct result of this, I never experienced hunger. Don't worry; we've got a plan to sate my insatiable hunger so you don't have to worry about that. With the exception of the occasional pizza binge that I permit myself, I've been doing quite well as of late in terms of keeping track of what I put in my body. Pizza was my salvation when I was a young adult because it was easy to make, didn't require any dishes to clean up afterward, and was not too expensive. For the past two weeks, the only thing that I have eaten to sustain myself is pizza. When I'm too exhausted to prepare dinner, I'll order pizza. It is possible that the proliferation of fast food restaurants may have a beneficial effect, meaning that pizza delivery services will improve as a result. The place of employment is not an appropriate setting for any form of disorder. Time is of the essence in this situation as the circumstances are rapidly deteriorating before our eyes. Why? It is time to take action when there are inconsistencies in the testimonies presented by the witnesses. Cucumbers that have been marinated in vinegar will convince even the most jaded foodie to take notice of the mix of Italian sausage, Tabasco sauce, and cucumbers in this dish.

At this point, the search for a precious diamond is no longer an immediate necessity that must be met.

It is of the utmost significance to make certain that those members of society who are the most defenseless are protected from harm. This is the number you can call to get in touch with the host: +19785940490. Put the care of your mental health at the top of your list of life's priorities. You will be charged the same amount whether you order pizza or a gourmet meal to have food delivered to your home. It makes no difference. As a direct consequence of this, the likelihood of the deceased being brought back to life is extremely remote. I wanted to show the children how much I appreciated their recent efforts at school and in the community, so I threw a pizza party in the shape of a mini-golf tournament. This is the children's version of a golf tournament. I also wanted to show them how much fun it is to compete in sports. Mini-golf is the children's equivalent of a golf tournament. As a token of my appreciation for the children's recent successes at school and in the community, I decided to do this as a treat for them. If I continue to be successful at golf, all I will need to sustain myself is pizza and Coke. To allow oneself to become complacent in the pursuit of a goal is a guaranteed way to failure in the pursuit of that objective. The needs of the community have an obligation to take precedence above the desires of any one particular person. There is a possibility that the outcomes of our labor will come as a total shock to both of us. Nevertheless, we remain optimistic.

[corvidcrybaby]

Uh ohhhh I'm back with more rambling on Y/N/reader insert fanfic

Now that I'm a few months out from when I finished a Y/N fic I've been going back and ruminating on the emotions I was feeling that I wanted to give a place to live when i wrote that

When I decided to write a Y/N fic it was largely on a whim. A ton of the time I was flying by the seat of my pants and it shows - for me, that's part of the charm. The death metal aesthetic especially centers on sloppy, unsophisticated and choppy execution of ideas the people creating them find so g-ddamn compelling that they simply can't wait to get them out there. But for me it was beyond this.

I've talked before about how Alucard was my bisexual awakening in terms of my taste in men - I had one when I was a teen but to me that doesn't really count since I was, yanno, a child who knew nothing of intimacy and actual interpersonal attraction. Moreover, I've talked about how when I first watched Hellsing as much as I found Alucard relentlessly compelling, my attraction to him was something I suppressed so deep and so hard that I really didn't process what it was until like last summer.

This, for what I believe, comes from the internalized androphobia I developed over time as a closeted bisexual kid with rampant gender dysphoria. I knew I was into men, but I didn't want men to be into me - because I didn't want to be a man's boyfriend, I wanted to be viewed as a girl. But I didn't fully get that at the time (transfemme egg things). Hence, my aversion. Over time, this aversion grew so strong that I developed this intense complex about attraction to men such that I was legitimately convinced that if I dared to act on my attraction to men in any real capacity, I'd get hurt, badly. Whether out of fear of being seen as a """trap""" or just as a gross sexual deviant, I can't really say. All I knew was, I only felt safe talking to men over text - ESPECIALLY cis men, which was some internalized cisnormativity I had to unpack as I got older.

Nevertheless, it makes all too much sense to me now why I was so fixated on Alucard. 1. He was fictional, and therefore posed no true threat to me, 2. At the same time, being a vampire, he represents the idea of taboo or dangerous sexuality and sensuality, which combined make him a one-two-punch to someone dealing with repressed sexuality regarding attraction to men. 3. being a MAN'S man, is far more outwardly masculine than any irl mascs I had experience with irl (only dated pretty femboys prior to this).

Tying all this together was the time I began HRT and finally began to detangle the mess of emotions that was my sexual and romantic orientation. I've cracked jokes about how shit turned on a dime for me regarding being attracted to that particular fictional man but it was so so so fucking true. I eventually grew so fascinated by this conundrum/Catch-22 of "I'm attracted to men but I am terrified of them" plus "Alucard is a gorgeous deadly attractive man but is a vampire and is therefore designed to be both deadly and beautiful down to the last atom" that eventually I came to view him as this perfect personification of my own personal repression and, eventually, my escape from it.

These feelings grew so strong and I spent so much time poring over them that I eventually decided the most productive thing for me to do for self-exploration was to deadass just write a story about it and build a narrative that would allow me to vicariously experience that feeling of "this seems so stupidly dangerous but I cannot escape how drawn to it I am, until I find out that, sike, it can actually be okay, and there's nothing wrong with wanting things that seem scary just because people around you make it seem that way."