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love-aholic · 3 years ago

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°•°•°•°•°Welcome°•°•°•°•°

(Long intro post incoming)

⭐️🛰🌠⭐️🛰🌠⭐️🛰🌠⭐️🛰🌠⭐️🛰🌠⭐️🛰🌠

My name is Glitch, I'm your local dude that likes cute things, this is a side selfship blog for @hikikomorihouseofglitches , here I post selfship stuff and ramble about self indulgent things!!

Side notes about me:

I use any pronouns, but I prefer he/him

If you share a f/o with me, you MAY interact BUT please refrain from mentioning it until I know you better. But if you share one of my platonic or familial f/o then feel free to talk about them to me all you want!

I do sometimes block over f/os if theres no tag to block so sorry if I do, it's for my own comfort

If we're mutuals please PLEASE don't be mad if I leave you on read, sometimes I don't see the message right away and then after a while in my mind it becomes weird to respond

I'm one of the few rare male selfshippers

I can handle vague sex jokes and suggestive stuff. But anything beyond that is a huge NOPE for me

I swear every now and then

Neurodivergent

If I say something with a negative or unwelcoming undertone I promise I am not trying to sound mean and I apologize beforehand if I do

PLEASE DO NOT FOLLOW ME FOR FANDOM STUFF!!! We make posts about kissing men and women here (*^3(*^o^*)

Every work of mine is ok to rb unless stated otherwise!!

❤️💙❤️💙❤️💙❤️💙❤️💙❤️💙❤️💙❤️💙❤️💙

Current fandoms/hyperfixations (there's more but I've been in over 70+ fandoms at this point)

Monkey wrench

Regretevator

Skullgirls

Calamity corp

⭐️🛰🌠⭐️🛰🌠⭐️🛰🌠⭐️🛰🌠⭐️🛰🌠⭐️🛰🌠

DNI

Proshipping of any kind / Proshipper supporters / Trump supporters, MAGA / Terfs, truscums / homophobia, transphobia / anti-antis / cringe culture believers / ableist / autism speaks supporters / exclusionists / Zionists / anti-agere / any person that I don't vibe with

If you fit the above I hope you get a pear of anguish stuffed into you! :D

💛🖤💛🖤💛🖤💛🖤💛🖤💛🖤💛🖤💛🖤💛🖤

F/os and s/is down below

Ps: if you see that's there's an f/o that you're uncomfy sharing don't feel afraid to block me or ignore this blog. All that matters is that you feel comfortable. I recommend blocking s/i tags for no selfship art, you should find them if you type!! -> s/i: __name__

This list is VERY LONG

S/is are at the bottom!!

💙 Romantic ❤️

Original Characters - ♤♡◇♧☆○ symbol = what universe they belong in

Emojis ❤️🌹 = main f/o

(Please dni if you double with Shrike, nothing against you. I'm just genuinely unwell about him, if you do selfship with him before I announced I was nonsharing then i'll probably let you fly under the radar just please DON'T mention it. He makes me feel such genuine happiness)

Shrike Sanchez (Monkey wrench) 🪐🔧

Lemres (Puyo puyo) 🌠🍭

Es (Alter ego) 🖤��

Pest (Regretevator) ❤🪙🖤

Matcha cookie (Cookie run)

Licorice cookie (Cookie run)

Jane Lightmyer (Original character) 🦋🌙 ♤

Justice (Helltaker)

Rocky Rickaby (Lackadaisy)

Ozen the Immovable (Made In Abyss)

Nadia Fortune (Skullgirls)

Canti (Foolycooly)

Chilchuck (Dungeon Meshi)

Medkit (Phighting!)

Gabriel (Ultrakill)

Clay Murrieta (Original character) ♧

☄️ Platonic ☄️

Beebs (Monkey Wrench)

Ricket (Monkey Wrench)

Jel (Monkey Wrench)

Lariat (Monkey Wrench)

Mk (Lego Monkie Kid)

Mei (Lego Monkie Kid)

Tang (Lego Monkie Kid)

Pigsy (Lego Monkie kid)

Sun Wukong (Lego Monkie kid)

Red son (Lego Monkie kid)

Chang'e (Lego Monkie Kid)

A2I (Original Character) °

Dice (Original Character) □

Wolfgang (Don't starve)

Napstablook (Undertale)

Donnie (Rottmnt)

Mikey (Rottmnt)

Leo (Rottmnt)

Raph (Rottmnt)

April O'Neal (Rottmnt)

Silver the Hedgehog (Sonic)

Blaze the Cat (Sonic)

Blackhole the Squirrel (Sonic OC)

Rev the Frilled Lizard (Sonic OC)

Fiona Slow Loris (Sonic OC)

Lysis the Coyote (Sonic OC)

Rouge the Bat (Sonic)

E-123 Omega (Sonic)

Shadow the hedgehog (Sonic)

Amy Rose (Sonic)

Cream the Rabbit (Sonic)

Cheese (Sonic)

Sonic the hedgehog (Sonic)

Miles Tail Prower (Sonic)

Olive (Splatoon OC)

Iso Padre (Splatoon)

Woofa (Pac-Man party)

Patra (Pac-Man party)

Neon (Guardians of the galaxy OC)

Lyza the Annihilator (Made In abyss)

Riko (Made In Abyss)

Reg (Made In Abyss)

Nanachi (Made In Abyss)

Bondrewd (Made In Abyss)

Marulk (Made In Abyss)

Yelme (Made In Abyss)

Simred (Made In Abyss)

Zapo (Made In Abyss)

Sig (Puyo puyo)

Ms. Accord (Puyo puyo)

Feli (Puyo puyo) frenemy

Klug (Puyo puyo)

Gwen Poole (Marvel Comics)

Kimberly (Street fighter)

DeeJay (Street fighter)

Jamie Siu (Street fighter)

Blanka (Street fighter)

Senshi (Dungeon Meshi)

Laios (Dungeon Meshi)

Marcille (Dungeon Meshi)

Falin (Dungeon Meshi)

Awilda (Dungeon Meshi OC)

Zoerowe (Dungeon Meshi OC)

Willrook (Dungeon Meshi OC)

Captain Golden Ace (Dungeon Meshi OC)

Mugrok (Dungeon Meshi OC)

DrRETRO (Regretevator)

Bive (Regretevator)

Spud! (Regretevator)

Prototype (Regretevator)

Wallter (Regretevator)

Mannequin_Mark (Regretevator)

PartyNoob (Regretevator)

Hyperlaser (Phighting!) Sort of

Sword (Phighting!)

Banhammer (Phighting!)

Katana (Phighting!)

Vine staff (Phighting!)

Shuriken (Phighting!)

Eos (Madness Combat OC)

V1 (Ultrakill) Frenemy

Sebastian Solace (Pressure)

P.AI.nter (Pressure)

🌟 Parental figures 🌟

Jason Neale (Original Character) ⚖️🌌 Dad ♤

Rev Wilson (Original Character) 🔥🕊 Uncle ♤

Charlotte Marta (Original Character)🍷❄️ Aunt ♤

Ramsey Murdoch (Epithet erased) Dad

2Bdamned (Madness combat) Dad

Veritus (Original character) Uncle ◇

Six Eared Macaque (Lego Monkie kid) Dad/Mentor

Big band (Skullgirls) Uncle

Oobja (Oobja) ???

⭐️ Familial ⭐️

Mayday (No straight roads) Found family sister

Zuke (No straight roads) Found family brother

Iris (Original Character) Cousin ◇

Ingo (Pokémon) Brother

Emmet (Pokémon) Brother

Peacock (Skullgirls) Adopted sister

Neon (AdventNEON) Adopted son

🌌 QPR 🌌

Taki (Friday night fever)

Rocket Raccoon (Guardians of the Galaxy)

Simon Petrikov (Adventure time)

Bunny (Original Character) ♧

Colette (Brawl Stars)

🌠 Pets 🌠

Jeff the landshark (Marvel comics)

The sandworm (Beetlejuice: The musical)

Gotham (Phighting! OC)

⭐️🛰🌠⭐️🛰🌠⭐️🛰🌠⭐️🛰🌠⭐️🛰🌠⭐️🛰🌠

Last but not least my s/is

Phito Pyro (Monkey Wrench)

2Hex (Madness combat)

Monster cookie (Cookie Run)

Pine needle cookie (Cookie Run)

DJ Lightning Bug (Rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles) DJ for short

Nor (Pokémon bw)

Donny (Pokémon XY & Scarvio)

Mallory Misfortune (Lego Monkie Kid)

Cy (Puyo puyo)

Mr. E (Pac-Man)

Nappy (Happy Tree friends)

Dan Murdoch (Epithet Erased)

Mimic (Splatoon)

Indie the Tenrec (Sonic)

The traveler (Alter ego)

Pulsar (Guardians of the galaxy)

Jonathan "Idared" Jonagold (Lackadaisy)

Draco (Hollow Knight)

Monoceros (Made In Abyss)

Aster Camellia (Spiderverse)Aka Spider-rose

The Weather Prince (Adventure time)

Ryan Bowe (Fionna and Cake)

Jibby (The Amazing Digital Circus)

Soleno (Skullgirls)

Daniel Hoff (Scott Pilgrim)

Alfalfa Nebins (Dungeon Meshi)

Slinki (FLCL)

Eosino Phillips (Like hell im revealing the source)

Seize (Regretevator)

Claws "Mr. Mori" (Phighting!)

Snake (Original character) ♧

Cygnus (Ultrakill)

Fighter OK (Go go loser ranger)

Prisoner 13 (Pressure) Levi Ethan

#adding tags so tumblr can shuddup

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schnitzelbutterfingers · 4 years ago

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Baklava

Book/Pairing(s): The Royal Romance || Liam Rhys x F!MC (Jasmine Wilson) LAW STUDENT AU

Category/Warning(s): Teen || none

Word count: 2.7K

Premise: A different take on how Liam and Jasmine could have met. Liam and the gang search for baklava, and Jasmine is a law student and a talented baker, working in her mother’s bakery.

Author’s note: This is for the 200 FOLLOWER GIVEAWAY WINNER #2: @texaskitten30 . Congratulations! Hope you enjoy :)

New York City is known for its culture, fashion, Broadway musicals. Its approximately 8 million people.

Maxwell sighs. “C’mon, Liam. There are so many other desserts. Pie, cake, cupcakes, those drizzled thingies...”

He is right. The deserts here are magnificent. Every one of them is fireworks on someone’s tongue, the rich flavor evading the mouth.

Drake surprises him. “For once in my life, I’m going with Beaumont.”

But there is one thing New York City seems to not have.

“No,” Liam responds.

Baklava.

Maxwell open his mouth, but then closes it, flabbergasted.

“Who are you, and what have you done to Prince Liam?”

The prince chuckles wryly, a sarcastic leer taking place. In a few months, he won’t be able to do this again. In a few months, he will marry a noble with no love in between.

In a few months, his freedom will be over.

He has to make those few months worth it.

And he will.

By finding baklava.

However, Liam almost gives up. Every bakery they went to in New York City had everything, including Indian sweets, such as laddu, gulab jamun, jalebi.

But they weren’t selling anything from the Ottoman Empire. They weren’t selling baklava.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he sees a small building. A bakery. It has a small cupcake on the top of the name.

The prince clears his throat.

“We’ll stop in this bakery. If they don’t have baklava either, then we can go buy cupcakes and go to a bar.”

Maxwell fist bumping the air and Drake sighing of relief, tells him they are both comfortable with his plan.

One more bakery.

That’s it.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Slow Dough.

That’s the name of the bakery. Immensely creative.

The three men step out of their rented car, the sun’s rays showing off its magnificent light, creating shadows as they take each step towards the bakery.

They open the door, the jingling bells on it acknowledging their presence.

It looks beautiful. The inside of the store takes on a more pastel theme, the baby pink with white stripes adorning the walls. There are sky blue tables and chairs, adorned with a vase of pink roses on each table.

The front of the bakery has a glass counter-shelf, filled with delicacies. Cupcakes, cookies, chocolate, ice cream. You name it.

Maxwell seems to have that same idea because he says, “Maybe we can steal some cronuts and-”

“Maxwell!” Drake admonishes.

“Hello? What is the commotion here?”

A woman, probably in her fifties, with natural tanned skin, paces into the room from the silver doors ahead of the counter, which Liam assumes is the kitchen. Rather than taking a chiding tone, her voice is laced with concern.

Liam glares at his two friends, Maxwell sporting a nervous smile. Drake shakes his head at Maxwell’s antics.

What good friends he has.

“Apologies for the loud... conversation ma’am. We were searching for a dessert named baklava in New York City. We searched almost every bakery we could find, but left empty-handed. We were hoping we would find some here?”

The woman grimaces. “I’m so sorry, son, but we don’t sell baklava here.”

The prince sighs.

He knew it. Of course he did.

After mentally calming himself, he sports a tender smile.

“No worries, ma’am. In that case, would you mind giving us three cupcakes? One vanilla and the other two chocolate, please?”

“Now that, I can give you.”

She smiles as she opens the counter, probably finding the best cupcakes she could find.

The woman is probably the most solicitous person she ever met during his bachelor party.

The men sit down on of the chairs, surprisingly more comfortable than Liam imagined. They fall into an agreeable silence, with Maxwell playing with one of the pink rose petals, and Drake glued to his phone.

And they are interrupted. By a soft voice.

A beautiful voice.

“Excuse me, sir, but... did you say baklava?”

He stands up immediately to turn towards the voice, addicted to the melody.

And hazel eyes meets blue.

The lady looks like an exact copy of the older woman, only more younger. More irresistible.

Striking.

Even with glasses on.

For some reason, his heart starts beating faster.

Silently scolding himself, he straightens up and nods his head affirmative.

“Yes, is there a reason why you ask?”

“I happen to know how to make baklava. Do you want me to make some for you?”

Shock rolls over him as he mulls over her words. An American tries to help him?

He glances back at Drake and Maxwell. In return, they give him an exact sense of a whammy blown on them. They are probably thinking the same thing, too.

Liam discerns the older woman slapping her hand on her forehead in an almost idiotic sense, walking to stand next to the younger woman.

Twins.

They are practically twins, if people count out the wrinkles.

“Apologies, son. She is my daughter. She knows how to make almost everything.”

Liam softly grins at the mother and turns to look at her daughter.

A beauty.

As if she came from a painting.

Majestic.

As if reading his thoughts, she takes a glimpse of his face and smiles. He catches a glimpse of a faint blush creeping on her neck, even with the tanned skin.

Liam allows himself a quick smirk and hurriedly straightens his face to a more gentle expression.

“What’s your name?”

She clears her throat and looks at him straight in the eye. “Jasmine.”

Maxwell gives her a wide smile. “Nice name!”

Liam and Drake nod their heads in agreement, looking back at Jasmine. She grins from ear to ear.

Her smile is infectious.

And Liam just met this girl.

“I’ll get started. I can set up a mini cooking show for you guys. This might take over an hour though. So, are you sure?”

Before Liam can respond, Drake interrupts.

“We can wait. This dude, here, was acting like he was waiting for baklava his whole life. If he doesn’t get his hands on one, he’ll probably punch something.”

“Drake!”

Before he can give him a new one, he hears Jasmine’s laughter, music to his ears. He only knew her for about 10 minutes, and something makes him want to get closer to her.

He can see scars sprinkled on her chest.

She’s an air of mystery.

Mystery.

“I can most definitely understand that feeling. I’ll go gather the ingredients!”

She flees like a small human Sonic, and he infers for a second that she did track in school.

Maybe she did.

Jasmine comes back with nuts, cinnamon, dough, butter, sugar, water, honey, vanilla extract, and a lemon. After buttering up a thick pan, she sprinkles in a bunch of nuts and cinnamon.

Just like those chefs gave him a show and made baklava for him back in Greece.

Maxwell starts speaking, most likely attempting to make small talk during the awkward silence.

“So... where are you originally from?”

She softly smiles.

“Queens, New York. We moved to the city when I was 10.”

“What made you move to the city?”

“Oh, well...”

Jasmine slightly hesitates.

“My father had passed away, and we had to do something for a living. So we started this bakery...”

A tense silence invades the bakery, Jasmine quickly swiping her eyes. Maxwell grimaces, and Drake takes over.

“We’re so sorry. We didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable...”

She shoots him a weak grin. “It’s okay. It still hurts, but we’re trying our best to move on.”

At this point, she places two sheets of dough into the pan, and butters it up. She then layers it with nuts and repeats the process. The prince makes a mental note to remember these steps the next time he attempts in making baklava.

He tried to make baklava once, but failed, even after searching the internet to find the recipe.

It had been proved to his friends how much of a bad cook he is.

Liam attempts successfully in changing the topic, in a way to console her.

“Are you a student or...”

“I am! Final year law student at Yale.”

His eyes widen. “Yale? That’s impressive.”

Her mother comes back from the kitchen. “Wait till you hear how she skipped five grades and will be graduating as a lawyer at the age of 21.”

The gang’s eyes widen.

Wow.

They’re speaking to mini Albert Einstein.

“Mom!” The law student covers her cheeks in an attempt to stop the light rose pink that’s flooding her face.

Maxwell smiles wickedly. “That's so COOL! Liam, here, is the same! He managed to even excel better than his tutors. One time, he was making fun of them because they got a calculus problem wrong, and he managed to solve it in less than five minutes! He skipped three grades, but always managed to make tutors mad and made them speak to his parents because of his smart mouth-”

“Maxwell!”

Drake chuckles.

“What? It’s the truth!”

She chortles again. That melodic laugh.

“It’s alright. I did that every time, too.”

Jasmine cuts the baklava into diamond shapes and puts them into the oven. She stretches her arms out, unsubtly displaying off her muscles.

Damn.

“Alright. This’ll take about 50 minutes.”

Comfortable silence flows through all of them, Liam enjoying the clock ticking surrounding the small building.

Drake cuts it off. “We forgot to tell you where we’re from. We live in-”

“Cordonia, I know.”

Liam's breath catches.

A part of him wants to berate himself for being so idiotic. For believing that maybe one person won’t know who he is. But he should have known.

He should have known.

Drake closes his mouth and opens it again, unable to say anything.

“Wait, so you know Liam is a prince?”

“Crown Prince, yeah.”

“Then, why didn’t you let us know and treat us like normal people?”

“Because I know.”

Turning to him, she says, “Liam, all you’ve ever wanted was freedom.”

His eyes widen. He feels like he’s being mind-read by a fortune teller. At that moment he should’ve felt uneasy, but all he wants to do is open more of himself to her.

And that petrifies him.

“How... how do you know?”

Jasmine’s expression turns stoic, indecipherable.

“Your eyes. They express everything. You feel like you’re being locked in a jail cell. I was once like you, you know so I know that look anywhere...”

Her eyes turn misty, but she quickly shakes her head.

“You do want to lead your people, but you want to be free in choosing someone at the same time. You want someone you’ll fall in love with.”

Her educated guess is mind-boggling. Straying his eyes back to his friends, they appear as if they’re seeing Liam in a new light. Shocked.

That they didn’t know anything about this, and they’ve known him for years.

Maxwell shakes his head. “Wait, but... if you knew who we were, why didn’t you address Liam as ‘your highness’? Don’t get me wrong, we liked how you didn’t...”

Jasmine snorts. “Because even through he has royalty flowing through his blood, he is a human, just like us. I don’t mean it to be offensive, I swear. While titles also show respect, they put more benefit for someone than for another ‘commoner’. And I don’t like that.”

Liam becomes curious. Jasmine is not one of those average girls who shrieks over a celebrity. She is one of a kind.

And that makes him want to know everything about her.

“Say if... you became a queen one day. How will you rule?”

The law student takes a deep breath before responding. She unconsciously touches her dark brown hair, and twirls a curl over her finger.

“I... I would never go by the rule book. While rules are good and all, sometimes... it would lead to injustice. As Princess Diana said in her interview with Martin Bashir, I would want to become a queen of people’s hearts, not just for a country. I would be there to do good, not cause harm or difficulty over another citizen’s life. I’m not a violent person. Quite the opposite, actually. I would want to be treated as a typical person with a typical life. I would want to be treated as an everyday person. And... I would want everyone to reminisce me as a woman who did good works, not as a woman with a prestigious title.”

Everything is confirmed. Drake’s mouth opens and closes as he tries to respond to what Jasmine just said. Maxwell has a goofy grin on his face.

Liam, however, has a cheeky smile that one would actually say is of respect and admiration. He admires her.

Even as she now bites her lip, he wants nothing more press his lips to hers.

And they’ve only known each other for about an hour.

The oven alarm lowers the mounting tension in the bakery. Jasmine jogs over to the oven and takes it. The delicious smell of baklava invades Liam’s nostrils, and he immediately wants to taste it. Looking at the pastry, the gorgeous crispy brown of the dough stands out, with green nuts garnished.

“Take caution! It’s really hot.”

Maxwell smirks slightly, already reaching for a baklava. “Oh, I don’t think it’s that- HOLY SQUIDS!”

The once smirking Maxwell now has a face of pain etched on his face, holding his right hand after it burned a little. Jasmine, seeing this, snorts.

“Told you so.”

Shaking his head, Liam -carefully- takes a piece of baklava, blowing it slightly to soothe the heat. Once it is lowered to a considerable heat, he takes a bite out of it and-

My.

God.

It is scrumptious.

And it appears that Drake and Maxwell are thinking the same thing, their friends’ eyes filled with astonishment.

Jasmine bites her lip, most likely unaware of the action. God, if he could just-

“So, did you like it?”

Shaking off his dirty thoughts, he responds, “Like it? This is the best baklava I’ve ever tasted.”

Her wide eyes contain jouissance, Liam can tell.

“Thank you! Glad I didn’t mess it up!”

Jasmine blushes again, something Liam just knows is a rare sight for anyone.

Just then, her mother comes in, sauntering hurriedly up to them. Her eyes are tense and full of worry.

“So... how is the baklava?”

Liam smiles, hopefully soothing her mother with the action.

“I can reassure you, even the most famous chefs in Greece hadn’t made me this tasty baklava before in my life. It tastes like heaven, ma’am. Your daughter has talent.”

She sighs in relief. “Thank you, sons!”

Without hesitance, the mother kisses Jasmine on her cheek, and in return the daughter kisses her on her forehead. The act reminds him of his own mother, before she died.

“How much does this cost?” Drake interrupts.

“This? This is free.”

What?

Liam refuses. “Oh, that’s not possible, we have to give you something-”

Jasmine laughs. “I insist. First of all, this wasn’t even part of the menu, although we do need to add it to ours. Second, you deserve this. For the first time, other than my mother, I felt like someone else got me.”

The words make the prince look at her deeply into her eyes. Jasmine stares back, not one of them blinking. Finally, the law student breaks the contact.

Just then, Drake clears his throat. “I hate to interrupt but we have to leave. Is it alright if we take more of these?”

The mother smiles. “Sure, sweetie! Take as much as you need.”

As Maxwell and Drake grab more of the baklava, Liam goes up to Jasmine.

“Well, I guess this is goodbye,” he says, his tone with a hint of heartache.

She smiles wistfully. “Yeah.”

And they hesitate before hugging one another tightly. Liam closes his eyes, in what could be his last moments of freedom. He makes this time worth it. Jasmine reluctantly pulls back and clears her throat.

“But hey, something tells me we’ll see each other again soon,” she adds, with a hint of a smirk.

And just like that, Liam starts to have second thoughts.

Maybe New York City is not that awful.

Narrator: Jasmine was right in what she said. They will see each other again. And they marry, and they make babies-

Author’s note: First Liam x MC fic lol. I hope I did this some justice HAHA. Anyways, if you’ve made it this far, thank you! ♥️

Lmk if you want to be added or removed from the taglist! 🥰

Perma: @potionsprefect @gryffindordaughterofathena @maurine07 @missmiimiie @mom2000aggie @nezuzoned

Liam x MC: @kingliam2019 @jared2612

@choicesficwriterscreations

#pixelberry choices #choices stories you play #the royal romance #trr #the royal romance choices #trr choices #pixelberry #pixelberry the royal romance #pixelberry trr #pixelberry choices the royal romance #pixelberry choices trr #playchoices #liam rhys #king liam rhys #liam x mc #liam rhys x mc #king liam rhys x mc

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alchemy-fic · 4 years ago

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DELETED scenes from 88 and 89

The doorbell rang.

“MARI, who is it?” Eggman called.

“It’s… it’s your mother and she looks very upset.” MARI answered. “Do I enter lockdown mode?”

“Uh, no.” He escorted the Mobians to the operating room to wash up. He ran to Sheptilah and took her hands in his. “Please. Please be nice to Mama. She’s very abrasive but the sooner you meet her the better. It’s like ripping off a scab. She’ll leave on her own when she gets bored.”

“How bad can she be?” Tilly asked.

Eggman pulled her into the elevator and got off on the ground floor. “Just promise me you won’t hurt her and you’ll be patient.”

“Of course, Ivo.” Tilly cocked a brow.

“MARI, I want all the robots to treat Mama with respect. She’s still family so no blasting her, got it? Just keep her happy.”

“Yes, sir.” MARI answered.

Eggman threw open the door.

Before him stood a shorter, heavy set woman with the same luxurious mustache as her son. Her pink and white dress did not match her oversized teal church hat or her black pumps. She had the same black sclera and red irises as her son and spoke with a deep, booming voice. Her lipstick was expertly applied as was her eyeshadow. In her hand she carried an old, beat up suitcase.

“Mama!” He said through a forced smile.

“Why didn’t you invite me to your wedding, you slime bucket!? Just when were you going to tell me you got married!? ” She hollered. “I had to find out in the Mobius Home For Really Bizarre Mothers from some river rat’s bubbie that you got hitched! Is this the girl?” The woman spat.

“Mama, this is Sheptilah, my wife.” He gestured at her.

“Why does she look like Cher but with the colors inverted? Did you marry some dirty hippie? You didn’t even ask my permission to marry someone! How do I know if she’s any bad for you?”

“Mama, you will be pleased to know that Sheptilah is a queen .”

“Oh, that explains it. You married a goth queen. Who else would mix black lipstick, heavy black eyeshadow and white hair?”

“I’m wearing kohl.” Tilly crossed her arms. “It’s my custom, I’m not goth . My people never invaded the Roman empire.”

“... Not visigoths , girl.” Mama looked at her with a furrowed expression, one eyebrow cocked. “It’s like you aren’t… from this time. Nobody calls it kohl anymore...”

“She’s a real queen… It’s a nation near Iran.” Eggman interjected.

“Oh, great . Why haven’t you taken over the world or gone to war? However many goats he traded for you it was too many, little girl.” She blew past the couple and trudged into the kitchen to fix herself a snack.

Eggman looked at his wife apologetically.

“That is not abrasive.” She hissed under her breath. “That’s virulent . Also, I’m worth many, many goats.”

“I’m sorry. I love you, but please handle her until I’m out of surgery. I’ll make it as quick as possible.” He trotted after his mother.

Sheptilah took her time following them.

“Mama, I’m about to go help perform surgery on someone upstairs. In the meantime my wife and the robots will take care of your needs.”

“I didn’t raise such a wuss. Go, do your totally real surgery thing. I’m sure it’ll be all your robots and not your own handiwork.” She popped open a soda and guzzled it.

“Mrs. Eggman…” Sheptilah said, watching her husband leave the room.

Ivo winced and broke into a sprint.

“My name is Sylvia Robotnik! My slimeball of a son changed his last name years ago because he was ashamed of our family name.” She tossed the empty can over her shoulder.

“My apologies, Mrs. Robotnik.”

“You, girl, will call me Madam.” She piled on random ingredients to make a giant, disgusting sandwich.

“Right, sorry.”

“So if you’re a queen why do you live here in this dump?” She knocked the refrigerator door closed with her hip, making the appliance rattle.

“Truthfully,” she hesitated, “I am a five thousand year old queen and my kingdom doesn’t really exist anymore.”

“Of course you are. So why would my loser son marry you? Oh, no. Did he knock you up?”

“Ivo is not a loser,” Tilly grit her teeth, “And I am not pregnant.”

“He’s a loser, sweetheart; but you’re avoiding the question. Why would he marry you? ”

“Because he loves me?”

“Ivo doesn’t know how to love! I didn’t raise him to be sappy and sentimental! And what’s he trying to pull by being buff now?” She sat down to eat.

Sheptilah picked up the can and put it in the recycling bin.

“How are you even that old?” Sylvia practically ate the entire sandwich in one slobbery bite without chewing.

“I’m a witch and I was kept in a crystal for five thousand years until Ivo stumbled upon me and brought me home.”

“Oh, I see. You don’t have much experience with men! That’s why you decided to tie the knot with my loser son.”

“Madam, I think you don’t understand. He’s built himself an empire and controls almost every continent from right here in this lair with his Egg Bosses. He’s a literal emperor. He has a base on the moon . The moon!”

“So? What has he ever done for his mother?”

Tilly groaned in frustration. She balled her fists then relaxed. “Do you just not like me because I’m brown-skinned ?”

“What? No, I don’t like you because you’re a hippie! Look at you recycling and cleaning and whatever else it is you do. I bet that ugly garden out back was your idea.”

“Hmm…” Sheptilah mulled this over. She switched gears.

“What?”

“I think you would like something to eat, yes? I make great honey cakes.”

“How good of a cook can you be? You are a string bean.” Sylvia looked her over suspiciously.

Sheptilah summoned a plate of piping hot fried dough and a pot of honey. She drizzled the golden liquid over the cakes and slid it toward Sylvia.

“I am a woman of many talents, Madam.” Sheptilah then summoned gold coins into her hands and turned them into brilliantly cut gemstones. “Your son and I have plans for world domination, we are just busy with other things at the moment.”

Sylvia pushed the plate away. “Parlor tricks. Not very impressive. I’m growing bored with you, girl.”

“Well, what do you want to do?”

“I want to level this whole island to build a poorly designed parking lot with a ton of toll booths, for one. Then I want that stupid hedgehog caught and killed.”

“Are you talking about Sonic?”

“Yes! That pest! Always interfered when I tried to help my son get ahead in life. Do I smell cookies?”

“Yes, right this way.” Tilly escorted her to the dining room. “I made this tea myself.”

“Brew a fresh pot! I don’t know how long this has been sitting out here; and I want more cookies!” She practically inhaled the plate of leftover madeleines. “Don’t get any of your gross hair in them, either.”

“Right away,” Tilly left for the kitchen with the teapot. She washed it out and gathered some ingredients for a different brew.

Lavender, bergamot, catnip and lemon balm were added and boiled to extract flavor. As she poured the strained, boiling tea into two cups she whispered into one.

“ This tea as it passes lips, shall cause exhaustion with each sip. Every flavor strong and steep shall

curse the drinker into sleep. ”

Faint sparkles appeared as she blew across the tea. They disappeared and both cups looked identical again. Sheptilah turned the cursed tea cup so that the handle pointed inward and she could tell the difference.

She used magic to summon new cookies and brought them to the table.

Sheptilah placed the teacups on the table with a click and slid the cursed one to Sylvia.

The woman picked up the warm cup in her hands and inhaled deeply. “Smells awful!”

Sheptilah waited patiently for the woman to sip her tea but Sylvia lingered on her cup. “You’re a witch, right?”

“Yes.”

“Can you read tea leaves? I want you to read my fortune.”

“I can read tea leaves.”

“Well, go get some so you can do that!” Sylvia put her cup down but kept her hands on it.

Sheptilah groaned and got up. She retrieved some tea leaves in a slotted spoon and came back. She tipped the leaves into Sylvia’s cup and set the utensil aside.

“What’s in this junk, anyway?” Sylvia took a sip and yawned. “The aftertaste isn’t bad, at least.”

Sheptilah smirked. “Bergamot, lavender, you know… tea stuff.”

Ivo’s mother rested her elbow on the table and leaned her face against her palm, sloppily swaying the

cup back and forth as if she was aerating wine. She watched the tea leaves spin in the vortex she created.

“Feeling tired?” Tilly asked in a somewhat antagonizing voice. Sheptilah sipped her tea primly.

“Yes, it was a long trip up here.”

“That’s too bad.”

“It is, isn’t it?” Sylvia grinned mischievously and guzzled down the rest of the drink. “You’re too pretty for my son.”

“Hmm?”

“You’re too pretty . You’re outrageously skinny, your hair is too long and you wear nice clothes. You’re too pretty for him.”

“Do you mean to say I’m too feminine?”

“Too fragile in looks but not personality.” She shot a pointed look at Sheptilah, a broad and evil smile drawn across her face. “I figured you’d try to poison me.”

Tilly stiffened up. She felt her chest grow warm and her eyes become heavy.

“I’m immune to all that from years of eating hospital food but I switched the cups just in case .”

Sheptilah’s hands went numb. She dropped the cup and it shattered, spilling its cursed contents on the table. Sylvia stood and walked around toward the prone witch without letting the tea touch her.

“Ivo may be an idiot but he’s my idiot and I know my idiots. I know he’d never settle for anyone who wasn’t as smart and conniving as him; but I’m disappointed with how weak you are. A garden, recycling, being clean and nice? It’s disgusting in all the wrong ways! If you really knew what you were doing you'd have cursed both cups.”

“I eviscerated Katella.” Sheptilah muttered. "I can and will kill you , too."

“But you healed her and look what happened.” Sylvia pointed to the missing finger.

“How do you…”

“I have access to and read the EggNet, sweetheart.”

“How?” She struggled to stay awake.

“My son is predictable and never changed his passwords.” Sylvia gingerly brushed Sheptilah’s hair out of her face. “Are you dying?” The leaves stuck in her teeth made her smile look all the more menacing.

“No… It’s… sleep...”

“Too bad. Don’t worry, I won’t kill you.”

KORin entered the room. “Step away, Sylvia.”

“What the Hell are you supposed to be?” Mama Robotnik rested her hands on her hips. “Some kind of maid bot?”

“I’m the bouncer. It’s time for you to go.” KORin fixed her eyes on the woman.

“Nah, no thanks.” Sylvia walked up to the robot. “Stand down, tin woman.”

“My orders are to protect the family. I am here to protect the empress. Leave.”

“See, that’s the thing. Who is higher up on the rung? The emperor or the emperor’s mother?”

“KORin… it’s okay.” Sheptilah shut her eyes. “It won’t last… long…”

“Are you sure?” The robot stared at the witch.

“Yessss...” She passed out.

“So? What are you waiting for?” Sylvia stomped her foot. “Let’s move the body and get started on world domination!”

An hour into the surgery things were well underway and proceeding fine.

“Doctor Eggman?” Smiley looked up from his work when he saw the human move oddly out of the corner of his eye.

The human swayed on his feet. “Maybe I was not ready to come back…” He sat on the floor away from the operating table and rubbed his temples. “Suddenly I’m exhausted.”

Lourdes jumped down and checked him over. “When did you last eat?”

“Not that long ago.” He answered.

“Stay here for a minute, okay? Until you feel better.” Lourdes went back to monitoring Maw’s vitals.

“This surgery is going to take at least five hours and I need you awake to supervise. Remember, if the cybernetics malfunction we could all get sucked in! That sounds terrible.” Smiley dug around in Maw’s gums.

Eggman shook it off and stood. “I’m fine, I think I just had some kind of blood pressure drop. It only lasted a spell.” He stretched until he heard the joints in his spine pop.

“Neurally mediated hypotension!” Smiley looked up. “You were standing still too long hunched

over and watching us. Walk around the room a bit, you’ll feel better.” The corgi went back to his work.

“Wakey, wakey… your mother in law is ka-ray-zee.” Scourge shook the witch by the shoulders.

Sheptilah snored loudly.

“For God’s sake, lady! What happened?” He lifted her by her hair and slapped her face.

No reaction.

“I wish I could sleep like the dead.” Scourge slapped his own forehead. “The living, I wish I could sleep like the living… Oh, fuck.” He noticed the cursed tea twinkled oddly in his vision.

“Fuck! Fuck. How do you break curses… shit.” Scourge wiggled his fingers in her direction. “Abracadabra!”

Nothing.

“Um... what did she fuckin’ say once?” He muttered to himself. “Hex breaking… it was some stupid bullshit…oh! Cayenne pepper! Anything fuckin’ spicy.”

Scourge floated into the pantry and knocked ingredients over haphazardly. When he found the pepper he grinned. Grabbing it, he tried to fly out of the pantry only to get stuck with the pepper not passing through the door.

“Shit!” He struggled to pull it through, the bottle clanging against the metal. “Come. The. Fuck. On! Why does this work with people but not…”

The plastic bottle pulled through but without the powder inside inside it.

“Pepper. Right… that shit wards off ghosts. There must be no ghosts in fuckin’ Mexico...”

He calmly opened the pantry and tried to scoop up the pepper but it simply passed through his fingers.

“This is so fucking stupid!” He howled.

He angrily floated to the table and picked up Sylvia’s unbroken teacup and poured it out onto the floor. He then went to the pile of pepper and tried to scoop it into the cup with the same fruitless results.

“Fine, we do this the hard way!” He grabbed Sheptilah by the underarms and dragged her to the pile and dropped her face directly into it.

He glowered when he heard Sheptilah snore loudly. After a second the witch sat up sputtering. She clawed at her face, tears streaming from her eyes and mucus from her nose. She vomited up the sparse contents of her stomach.

Scourge calmly walked to the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of milk. He unscrewed the cap and doused Sheptilah over the head.

“What the Hell, Scourge!?” She choked.

“I just saved your ass, Sleeping Beauty. You’re a real idiot for trying to play the evil queen by cursing her tea. You should’ve cursed both cups and not drank from either!”

Sheptilah felt her way to the sink and washed her burning face. “I’m going to become a necromancer just to bring you back to life so I can slap you to death.” She sloshed some water in her mouth before spitting it out.

“The pepper got into my lungs!” She coughed deeply.

“You’ll heal. Listen… your mother in law is nuts! Nuttier than squirrel shit! Kick her out!”

“Scourge, I can’t breathe. I’m tempted to turn my lungs inside out and run them under cold water…”

“Wouldn’t that make you drown?”

“I can give myself gills!” She spat up a huge wad of phlegm straight into the sink and washed it down the drain.

“It’s the only way I was able to break the spell, ya ingrate.” He crossed his transparent arms.

“Thanks.” The burning began to subside. “What’s Sylvia doing?”

“Trashing the place. She’s already bossin’ Orbie and Cubey around and threw around a bunch of furniture; including the sofa.”

“The really big and soft one?”

“Yep.”

“I’ll have her head!” Sheptilah charged off, bumping into things with her eyes red and bleary. “Sylvia!” She called.

“I told you to call me Madam!” The woman shouted back. “I’m in the den, if you could call it that!”

Sheptilah walked in to see Sylvia moving all the heavy furniture around with one hand.

Holy shit, she thought. That woman has the same strength as Ivo!

“So what happened to your kingdom, anyway? If you were a queen we should use this to our advantage.”

“Advantage for what? World domination?” Tilly crossed her arms. Scourge appeared next to her.

Mama Robotnik let the sofa land with a hard thud. It was moved to the other side of the room blocking an exit.

“Giant parasites we sealed in the moon broke out when your son cracked said moon in half with his nonsense. They’re back and trying to kill everything but especially me. They’re causing all those wild earthquakes.”

“That’s your story?” The woman turned to Sheptilah and stared at her with disbelief.

“It’s true.”

“And how exactly has this prevented you two from taking over the world?”

“Well, we can’t take over a planet if something actively trying to destroy it is in our way. Once we get rid of those things we will decide what we want to do with the empire; but I won’t lie. I am considering expanding it.”

“By how much?” Sylvia cocked a brow.

“I want to convert my pyramid into a base and work on getting a large space station going.” Tilly nodded to herself.

“Small potatoes. Think bigger! Hold the sun for ransom!”

“He tried that once and it didn’t quite work out.”

“Moon for ransom?”

“He already tried that, too.”

“What about all the freshwater for ransom?”

“Eh, pretty much did that.”

“The planet for ransom!”

“Yep. He did that. That one almost worked.”

Sylvia flopped onto the sofa with a disgusted sigh. “But the hedgehog got into the way.”

“Among other things.” Sheptilah stuck out her hip. “Ivo is smart but he often does things without thinking. It’s really not that hard to kill Sonic, he just doesn't want to.”

“See, that’s his problem! He has no killer instinct, but you seem to have a semblance of one.” Sylvia sat up and straightened her hat.

“I have personally executed six people.”

“One of which being the child ghost that is making faces behind your back?” Mama Robotnik smirked.

Sheptilah whipped her head around to see Scourge was acting cute and innocent. She squinted at him before turning back to face Sylvia. “I’m not proud of his death. He’s haunting me.”

“Neener neener nee-nee!” Scourge teased. “Nah, the haunting was revoked forever ago. I’m just here for fun now.”

Mama Robotnik stroked her sizable mustache. “Still, why would my son marry you? More importantly, why wouldn’t he tell me? ”

“Because it was supposed to be a secret . We eloped. We’re not going public with the marriage until a later date. Trust me, he’d invite the world to come see his splendid wedding and get himself decked out and all that.”

Sheptilah sighed, tapping her upper arm with her fingers.

“We’re on thin ice with GUN because Shadow the hedgehog is my familiar, as you probably know.”

“Shadow? ” Sylvia thought this over. “ Gerald’s Shadow? I remember when he was this big.” She held her hands apart by about a foot. “He was an ugly baby. He looked like a turd crossed with a raisin.” She grimaced.

Tilly chuckled. “Yes, that Shadow. I guess not everything is on the EggNet.”

“They executed Gerald, his creator, and Shadow works for GUN anyway?” Sylvia grit her teeth and her face turned red with fury.

“Yeah, after they kept him in stasis for fifty years, destroyed his memory and tried to kill him.” Sheptilah shook her head, “I have a feeling he won’t work for them much longer. GUN really, really hates that he’s my familiar but recognizes they can’t do anything about it.”

They stared at each other in silence for a while.

“So who is my son performing surgery on upstairs?”

“Maw the thylacine. He’s one of the Egg Bosses. His jaw is all messed up.”

“Bah, when will he hire more humans? Who needs animals when you have human beings around? Besides you, of course. You barely count as a human; what with your alien magic nonsense and all that.”

Sheptilah rolled her eyes. “Well, it was nice having you for a visit but now you need to leave. We’re getting ready to bug bomb the place once Ivo’s done with the surgery and no living person can be here.”

“Oh, please! This place is spick and span! Clean as a whistle! It’s disgusting, really.”

“Madam... “

“Take my suitcase.” Sylvia threw it at Sheptilah. She barely caught it, the impact knocking the wind out of her. “And get the master bedroom ready. That’s where I’ll be sleeping. You and my moron of a son can sleep outside in your hippy garden.”

“He is not a moron.”

“He married you , didn’t he?”

Tilly adjusted her grip on the suitcase. “Scourge?”

“Yes?” The ghost smirked.

“Take this… and show her to her room.” She handed the spirit the luggage. Scourge understood and grinned at Sylvia.

“Right this way, Your Disgusting-ness!” Scourge bowed in a grand but obviously sarcastic gesture. He grabbed Sylvia with his free hand and dragged her through the walls and out of the lair.

“Don’t let her back in.” Sheptilah instructed MARI. “Please reactivate your and your sister’s bodies.”

“Thank God for you, mom.” MARI chirped.

Scourge came back, very proud of himself.

“Thank you, King Scourge. Fantastic work.”

“I love throwing people out on their asses.” he ‘dusted’ off his hands. “As long as spicy pepper isn’t involved I can do anything I want.”

“You may outgrow that cosmic ‘allergy’ as you get stronger.” Tilly giggled. “But you’ll always be affected by blessed salt.”

“I’m fucked if I ever go into a salt and pepper store.” He gestured like he was hanged with a noose.

“MARI, how’s the wife doing?” Eggman said.

“She and Scourge just kicked your mom out.”

“It’s nice they’re getting along.” A pause, and then: “Wait, what?”

The lair rumbled.

“Jeepers creepers!” Smiley yelped. “Earthquake?”

“No, that would be my mother.” Eggman sighed. “Finish up with him; I’ll be right back.”

He hurried out of the room.

“Sylvia!” The witch howled. “Put down the boulder!” She stood in front of MARI and KORin with her arms out protectively.

The hulking woman held the giant chunk of outcrop she broke over her head with little effort.

“No! You will learn some manners!” She broke the boulder in half simply by pulling it apart like stale bread.

“What kind of Mickey Mouse physics is that!? ” MARI cried.

“Girls, go back inside.” Tilly whispered harshly.

“No way!” MARI refused.

“You can’t do anything, MARI. It’s forbidden for you to hurt his family and unfortunately that’s family!”

“But we can still defend you.” KORin said.

“Do so from inside the lair. Maw’s still in surgery and he needs the protection. That’s an order!” Tilly ran in zig-zags, making it hard for Sylvia to aim the rocks. The robots lingered in the doorway before going inside.

Mama Robotnik threw both stones at the same time, both just barely missing the witch.

Sheptilah looked up at the shadow darkening over her body. It was Mama Robotnik coming in elbow-first with a wrestling slam. Sheptilah, eyes wide, stared up for the split second it took for gravity to pull the massive woman downwards. All at once the air was knocked from Tilly’s lungs and she was seeing stars.

The acrid smell of sweat and cheap perfume was all she could sense. Mama Robotnik stood up and

trotted off to pick another boulder to hurl.

Sheptilah, dazed and unable to focus, was sure she was flattened like a piece of paper. She felt the back of her head, noting her skull was cracked open and chunks of bone floated in brain matter. Warm blood streamed from her nose. She touched her forehead with her fingers, feeling the indent caused by Sylvia’s elbow.

Another shadow descended upon her. She flinched, believing it would be another blow but instead nothing happened.

Small stones fell around her with an almost hollow clatter. She looked up and saw it was her husband who had just punched the boulder to smithereens.

“Mother!” He shouted angrily.

Shadow teleported in with a massive headache. “Ti-ti! Sorry I’m late; I came as soon as I felt something was off.” He didn’t seem to be too shaken by the image of his witch with her brains out and about. She healed just as quickly on her own.

“Hi, Shads!” She said dreamily.

“She was rude!” Sylvia said petulantly. “I had to show her who was boss.”

Ivo’s fist throbbed. “You need to leave, Mother.”

Shadow turned to Eggman. “Do you want me to kill her?” He started toward Sylvia.

“Maybe.” Eggman said. “Open a portal to some place far away, if you please.”

Sylvia protested. Screaming nonsense, she charged at her only son.

Shadow slashed at the air and opened a knot to a mostly deserted beach.

Ivo picked up his mother, held her over his head and unceremoniously tossed her in. He chucked in her suitcase after.

Shadow closed the portal and helped his witch to her feet.

“Where’d you send her?” Ivo asked.

He shook off his headache. “Coney Island, New York.” Shadow smirked.

“This is the second time my brains were on your lawn, Ivo.” Sheptilah frowned.

Ivo looked at his aching fist and saw his glove was torn and bloody. He walked over to his wife and held her tightly. “Why weren’t you fighting back?”

“It’s hard when your brain is trying to reconstruct itself…” She shuddered. “Thank you for… saving my life.” The full horror of what occurred finally hit her and she stumbled.

He caught her and kissed her cheek. “I’m so sorry I had to leave you with her. I should’ve just kicked her out at first sight. I won’t let her come back ever again. I just couldn’t let the two doctors sit with Maw for that long because the bombs are so delicate sometimes.”

“How did the surgery go?” Sheptilah felt ice cold and shivered.

“Hm? Oh, Maw is in recovery but I don’t care about him right now.” He rubbed her shoulders to warm her up.

“Recovery? Oh, his jaw.” Shadow pretended like he forgot. “You did that today? With your mother here?”

“My mother surprised me.” Ivo huffed. “Had to leave my poor wife with her for four hours…” He rocked her back and forth in his arms.

“I’m okay, really. The lair is a mess but I can clean it up… I tried to curse her with sleep but ended up being cursed myself and while I was out she was rearranging things.”

“Just rest, honey. I’ll have the robots do that.” He ran his hand over the back of her head and cringed when he felt chunks of brain matter and bone. She was really hurt if the meninges tore that easily… what the Hell did my mother do? He thought. “Actually, I’m going to have Lourdes look you over.”

“Should I stay?” Shadow asked her.

“Only if you want to, Shads.” She nodded.

“Call me if you need me.” He took a step back and teleported out. A ring of dust was left behind and blew away in the wind.

“I’m so sorry, Tilly.” Ivo hugged her tightly. “I never should have let her stay. I knew something like this would happen.”

“How did you survive your childhood?” Tilly looked up at him.

“I got myself into boarding school and left home at a very young age.”

She buried her face in his chest.

#deleted scene

5 notes · View notes

incorrectsmashbrosquotes · 5 years ago

Note

On a scale of “Good for you” to “IT’S NOT FAIR!”, how jealous is Joker about the fact that (spoilers if you haven’t played P5) the guy who tried to kill him died right after he got along with the party while the one who tried to kill Luminary is now the “Angry gay dad” of the party?

“Something wrong Joker?”

Joker turned to the source of the voice to see Sonic sitting next to him at the coffee counter. In response, Joker shrugged. “What makes you say that?”

Sonic raised an eyebrow. “Maybe because you look like someone just told you that you had a month to live? come on man, what’s up. something wrong with you and Ann?”

Joker shook his head. “No,no. Nothing like that. Just... thinking.”

Sonic leaned forward. When Joker said nothing, only continued drinking his coffee, son ic sighed, and started to sing, “I know a song that gets on-”

“Oh don’t you start that shit again!” snapped Joker. Sonci merely smirked and continued singing. Joker groaned. “Uggh fine! I’ll tell you!”

Sonic clammed up and grinned. “Thanks buddy.”

“You’re a horrible friend.”

“Eyup”

Sighing, Joker started to talk. “Well, I’ve just been, you know... you know how the Luminary’s companions are visiting?” asked Joker.

Sonic nodded. “You got beef with one of them?”

Joker shook his head. “No, nothing like that. It’s just... you know that knight guy, Hendrick?”

Sonic nodded. “Big dude, looks like he’s perpetually stepped in dog crap?”

Joker nodded. “That’s the the one. Anyway... you know how he and the Luminary started out trying to kill each other? And you know how circumstances forced them together? And how Hendrick chose friendship and understanding over old beefs?”

And like that, it all clicked into place for Sonic. “This is about Akechi.”

It wasn’t a question. It didn’t need to be. They both knew it was true.

Joker sighed. “I know it’s not a direct parallel, but... I just... can’t help but think that there was something I could have said, or something I could have done to get him to see. To understand you know. I mean... he was my friend.”

Joker stared remorsefully into his coffee and nearly jumped when Sonic put a hand on his shoulder. “Look, Joker, what Akechi did... that wasn’t you fault. When it came right down to it, Akechi chose his “Justice” over your friendship. You can’t blame yourself for that.”

“Exactly. He was my friend. and now he’s gone.” said Joker miserably.

Unknown to both, a little mage was listening in. She felt bad for eavesdropping, but it had given her an idea.

Veronica turned and rushed to find her friends.

- (sometime later, the training room) -

Joker quietly practiced with his dagger against a wireframe, grunting every now and again with exertion as he fought the projection. Aside from that he was silent.

With a final blow, he dispelled the wireframe, but he suddenly saw that he was no longer alone in the room.

“Ahem, uh, yes. Hello there. I am, uh. Well I am Hendrick, Knight of Heliodor.” said the intruder in question.

“Well, uh, hi?” said Joker.

Hendrick rubbed the back of his neck. He’d never been good at this stuff. “I, uh, well I’ve been told that my... presence... has dredged up some bad memories. I would like to say, first of all, that I apologize for any discomfort I have caused.”

Crap. He’d heard. Or someone had heard and told him. “Look, I didn’t-” he began, but Hendrick held up a hand.

“I know this. But... I understand that you suffered a betrayal. A... betrayal of a friend.” said the knight.

Joker looked down sullenly. “Yeah. Akechi.”

Swallowing nervously, Hendrick continued. “Well, I... I’m here to say... I understand.”

Joker looked up, a note of anger in his eyes. “Oh really? And why’s that?!”

Hendrick sighed. “Jasper. My... my friend... Jasper.”

Joker suddenly understood. He’d nearly forgotten about the Gatekeeper Villain of their game. “Sorry.”

Hendrick shook his head. “You have no need to apologize. I just wanted to say one thing.” Hendrick walked over and gently laid a hand on Joker’s shoulder. “It took me a long time to understand this, but we cannot be held fully to charge for the actions of others. we cannot control what they do. We cannot make them our puppets. Jasper and Akechi made their choices, and we made ours. that is neither our fault, nor our mistake. Blaming yourself serves no one, and accounts for nothing. We all must be held responsible for our choices, but ours specifically. Not the choices of others.”

Joker looked Hendrick in the eye, refusing to acknowledge the wetness in his own. “It still hurts.”

Hendrick removed his hand and nodded. “And it always will. But it will become more bearable as time passes. For the sake of yourself, and your friends, you must accept what has happened. Leave the past where it falls, and walk towards the future.”

Joker wiped his eyes. “Is- is that some sort of saying where you’re from?”

Hendrick shook his head. “Nay. I read it in one of those “fortune cookies” that you eat in this world.

Joker couldn’t help it. He started laughing. Hendrick, finding the laughter infectious, laughed alongside him for a good long while.

#incorrect super smash bros #super smash bros #incorrect quotes #request #Joker #Sonic #Hendrick #Veronica #Persona #Sonic the Hedgehog #Dragon Quest #Dragon Quest XI #Joker x Ann #Akirann

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inthedayswhenlandswerefew · 6 years ago

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Superheroes By Day (Queen fic)

Summary: Queen are rock stars by night, superheroes by day. Each member has his own exceptional powers. They assemble for an important mission cerca 1986. Also, cellphones exist.

Inspiration: Totally random, pure ridiculousness, plz enjoy.

Warnings: Language.

Link to all my writing HERE

My burner phone rings. They always call me. I’m the only one who can be trusted to pick up.

“This is John.”

Freddie always loses his phone; he would lose his moustache if it wasn’t attached. Brian spends too much time frolicking with and rehabilitating forest creatures, so his phone goes dead and he can never charge it because surprise surprise, there are no wall sockets in the fucking woods. Rog is hopeless, hopeless. Last time they gave him a phone it ended up at the bottom of a jacuzzi tub in Morocco. I’ll let you try to figure that one out.

I listen to our latest mission, jotting down a few notes with the pen and notepad I keep in my fanny pack. Yes, I use a fanny pack. You would too if you had four kids. Shut up about it.

“You are tasked with assembling the others.”

I sigh, quite dramatically. “Can’t you...I don’t know, send limos or something?”

“Complete the mission, John.” They hang up. Superheroes get a lot less fanfare than rock stars.

I sprint outside and jump into my Mercedes-Benz 190E. I turn the key in the ignition. Nothing.

“No!” I gasp. I try again. Nothing. “No no no!”

I rush back inside the house. Veronica is taking fish sticks out of the oven and forking them onto plates for the kids.

“Babe, there’s something wrong with the Benz!”

“Oh,” she replies, unbothered. “Well I can take it to the shop tomorrow.”

“But I need it now! I have a mission!”

She peers out the kitchen window and into the driveway. “What’s wrong with the minivan?”

I follow her gaze, horrified. “Babe, love of my life, I cannot pick up the band in a Plymouth Voyager.”

“Why not?” she replies innocently. “Kids, lunch is ready!” I hear the stampede beginning upstairs. Veronica looks at me with her eyebrows raised. “Do you want the van or not?”

I tug at my permed hair in exasperation. “Okay, okay, I’ll take the van!”

She tosses me the keys and I’m out the door like a bolt of lightning. The Voyager roars to life without any hesitation.

I arrive at Brian’s house first. I honk precisely six times: the secret honk, the we-have-a-mission honk. A neighbor lady leans out her window, shakes her fist menacingly, and calls me a barmy wanker. Thanks, lady.

Brian toddles out of his house looking very sensible: button-up shirt, slim white trousers, general demeanor of a brooding academic. And then there are the clogs.

“You, ah, you’re not going to trip in those?” I venture.

He glares at me and slips wordlessly into the passenger’s seat. The Plymouth Voyager pulls out of his driveway. I fumble with the radio, and eventually find a good song. It’s disco. I bop my head and sing along, entirely offkey. Brian stares sullenly out the window and presumably wishes for death.

Roger is next. Six honks.

“Good god, there must be a more practical way to communicate in this day and age!” Brian says.

“I could try turning up the disco,” I suggest. He is not amused.

Rog is wearing all black, including his prescription sunglasses. He climbs into the back seat. “Good morning, gentlemen!” he announces cheerfully. He reaches into the pocket of his sweatpants and produces an entire bottle of tequila.

“It’s 2:37 p.m., Rog,” Brian informs him.

Rog recoils, bewildered, then shrugs. He knocks back a few swallows of tequila and glances around the minivan. “Ooo, there are cupholders!”

I return to singing disco. Brian peers back at Rog. “Give me a swig of that.”

Freddie is waiting at the curb with a lit cigarette between his fingers. I roll up beside him. He appraises the Plymouth Voyager.

“Um, excuse me, but what the fuck.”

“I know, I know, the Benz wouldn’t start. Why are you out here already? Did someone call you? Did you actually know where your phone was?”

“Oh no, darling, the cats just don’t like me smoking indoors.”

“Whatever you say, Fred.”

“Miko sneezes terribly!”

He crawls into the back seat with Rog. They immediately begin giggling and shoving each other and inventing drinking games.

“Okay,” Freddie instructs, “every time Bri says something pretentious you have to take a shot.”

“Fred, I’ll fucking die!”

Brian buries his head in his hands. I clear my throat as I speed through traffic. “Um, is anyone actually interested in the mission?”

They settle down. “Oh yeah,” Roger says. “Go ahead, Deaks.”

“There is a family in Ealing whose dog, Mr. Doodles, has been stolen, probably to be held for ransom. We’re in pursuit of the burglar.”

“Wait, isn’t he going to be, like, way ahead of us by now?” Bri asks, ever the skeptic.

Roger rolls his eyes. “Fortunately, we happen to have...” He does jazz hands. “Superpowers!”

“Right. I’ll find him.” Freddie rubs his temples and closes his eyes in concentration. He has a dash of telepathy, but it only works on bad guys. Thank god for that, or the constant bombardment of space nonsense and disjointed basslines and naked women and car engine revs from us would completely drown out anything useful. “He’s heading west on Warwick Road!”

I put the pedal to the metal and within a few minutes we’ve spotted him. The Plymouth Voyager squeals to a halt along the sidewalk. All four of us dive out of the van and into the street.

The burglar is tall and burly and wearing a black ski mask, how original. He’s also cloaked in a tremendously tacky mustard yellow coat and carrying a satchel that likely contains the aforementioned Mr. Doodles. He sees us and pulls a gun out of his international fashion crime of a coat.

Roger unleashes a sonic scream—“aaaaaAAAAAAAhhhhAAAAAAAAAA!”—and the gun flies out of the burglar’s hand. He curses in frustration.

“Avian friends, attack!” Brian calls out. A flock of ducks descend upon the burglar, swooping and pecking at him. He attempts to smack them away clumsily.

Freddie flies to the burglar’s side. Did I mention Freddie can fly? Well, he can fly. Short distances, anyway. “That coat is awful and you should feel bad about it.”

Now it’s my turn: snark so savage it can incapacitate a wrongdoer in seconds.

Freddie, reading the burglar’s deepest thoughts and darkest fears, gives me the information I need. “Deaky, he’s still traumatized from middle school algebra! Talk about algebra!”

“Quadratic equations! Polynomials!”

“Ahh!” the burglar screams, crumpling to the ground. He loses his grip on the satchel, and a small white ball of fluff tumbles out. Mr. Doodles barks, panicked and disoriented, and Brian rushes over to comfort him.

I shout: “If x times seven equals 49, what is the value of x?!”

“Please stop! I’ll do anything!” The burglar writhes helplessly, vanquished.

Brian laughs, cradling Mr. Doodles in his arms. “Pathetic!”

I unzip my fanny pack and sift through the stationary and toast crumbs. “Oh dammit, I forgot the handcuffs!”

“I got it,” Rog says. He reaches into the pocket of his sweatpants and pulls out a pair of fuzzy pink handcuffs. He clicks them around the burglar’s wrists and flashes a grin. Oh my god. Did I really just see that? Oh my god. “Do you need a blindfold too—?”

“No, Roger.”

The police arrive to take the thwarted burglar away and return Mr. Doodles to his rightful owners. Brian thanks the ducks kindly and feeds them cracked corn from his outstretched palm. Roger argues with the police because he wants to be sure he gets his fuzzy handcuffs back.

“Alright, darlings.” Freddie claps his hands together. “Job well done. Back to Garden Lodge. I’ll have Jim put some cookies in the oven for us.”

Roger raises his tequila bottle into the air and winks. “I’ll make the tea.”

#queen #queen fanfic #queen fanfiction #freddie mercury #brian may #john deacon #roger taylor #queen imagine

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rayadraws · 8 years ago

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The importance of positive reinforcement

This is a little “joint project” between me, @jenny-opm, @dechanique and also @bloodsbane!

This all started with me posting the following prompt at the OPM Discord server:

Concept: King obviously has a large collection of anime figurines and stuff we do not even need to discuss this. And let’s say there’s an equivalent of Nendoroids/Good Smile Company in the OPM universe who produces merch for different categories, so that probably includes heroes, too.

Genos hears about a new Caped Baldy figurine and starts looking around for it, maybe joining a forum to ask/find more info. There is an user in the forum who knows EVERYTHING about these figurines and offers all sorts of insight etc. And then after like, quite a bit of discussing things back and forth both of them go like

“Wait… Genos?”

”King? Is that you?“

…at least they’ll have something to talk about next time King comes over now.

We started brainstorming about this scenario and it uh, grew. Below is a near 2k “summation” of everything we came up with, kind of like a synopsis if you will? (If anyone wants to borrow this concept and turn it into something bigger/a proper fic or watever by all means do, just make sure to give credit where due - and give us links to the results, I’m sure everyone involved would love to see!)

Moral of the story, as summed up by Dech: Genos is the real winner and learned nothing.

King is definitely a moderator in said forum. If Genos ever misbehaves on there king probably gives Saitama a call like;

"Yo your roommate is trying to start an internet fight, get him to stop for me.”

Saitama tells Genos that ”King told me to tell you that if you don’t stop engaging with the trolls you’ll have your star point rewards taken away, whatever that means.”

Genos is visibly upset at this. He counters that King should come talk directly to him (knowing he’s intimidated by him) but the threat backfires when Saitama responds with ”’Kay, I’m telling him you don’t want your points or whatever" and there goes that.

“N-no, Sensei, no! Just… it’s just….”

“What?”

“They said mean things about you and how hard it is to get you to remain on your stand….”

“Is this all about that weird plastic action toy again?!”

It turns out Saitama is a bit weirded out by the idea of an collector’s figure of himself, maybe even by figures of real people in general.

This becomes even more evident when they’re walking past a display in a store one day (including at least three different designs of Demon Cyborg) and Sai just… gives them a Look

“Why are there three versions of you, though” Saitama asks.

“Well, I believe Amai Mask has at least 7 variants, Sensei, since he has been a hero for much longer than us…

”…Why would anyone need 7 of him?“

(the answer is that they make a new figure every time he gets a new haircut)

The fortunate side effect of Genos being away and busy explaining action figures to Saitama is that it gives King the opportunity to get the forum situation back under control - it’s a lot easier now that a main participant is away from the screen.

On top of that, to Genos’ dismay, by the time they return home, the forum thread has been locked. However, he has an idea and whips out his phone, texting King with simply “Why did you do that?”. When he receives the message, poor King just about throws his phone across the room.

Later, it is Saitama’s turn to receive a text message.

"Saitama, dude, you gotta stop him or we’ll have to ban him and I’m terrified of what he’ll do to me, he knows where I live!”

Poor King - all he wants is to keep the forum a safe and healthy environment for everyone….

—

One day King comes over to play video games with Saitama and at one point King’s phone beeps. He notices that there is a situation and thinks to himself that this has to be straightened out, a mod is needed here….

Of course, Genos remembers when King cheated him out of a glorious internet discussion victory and just starts staring at King, eyes narrowed, not even blinking.

Poor King doesn’t deserve this, all he wanted to do in his beloved forum was talk about anime waifus with his fellow otakus… It’s like a battle between Genos’ whirring core and the King engine thundering in the small apartment.

Saitama notices that something is up and tries to diffuse the situation, asking if Genos can go get the chips. Predictably, Genos does an immediate 180 and brightly asks whether Sensei wanted this one or this one..? He gets the bag of chips…

…And then goes RIGHT back to glaring at King. The relief was only temporary…

King desperately tries to come up with a solution to all of this. Maybe he can give Genos star points for every day he stays out of trouble..? But that’s not fair to other users… But this is a life or death situation, he needs to come up with SOMETHING..

Desperately, he begs Saitama to give Genos a good behaviour sticker book.

Saitama is uncertain.

“I dunno man…”

“Listen! I’ll buy you a book and deliver it here! Just… please… for me?!” King puts on his best puppy eyes.

“He listens to you!”

“I’ll subscribe to a monthly sticker service and send them all to you!”

King is desperate - but then again, he’s pretty sure it’s his life on the line.

—

A month later:

"Hey Genos! Look, this month’s theme is Gudetama!”

“!!!”

To King’s relief, the new system works and Saitama realizes he can also use the stickers for other situations… like not threatening strangers on the street or not losing parts during fights.

“You came back in one piece! Wow, awesome, here’s a sticker!”

A little positive reinforcement goes a long way!

Other uses includes finding the BEST sale - Genos is so proud of that one that his sticker album just happens to lay open on the table when Mumen comes over for a visit one day.

Mumen notices, of course.

“Oh, these are very nice! Are they a project for the neighbourhood children?”

“They’re… a project for one local kid…”

“All these stickers for one kid! This kid must be very good”

Genos looks so proud.

Saitama wants to say “he needs a lot of reinforcements” but he catches the look on Genos’ face and just can’t say it. Instead, all he says is “yeah” and Genos is so happy for the confirmation - and is on his best behaviour all day, bringing Mumen tea and crackers with a happy little smile - as well as going rather overboard.

“What temperature do you prefer your tea at, Mumen-san?”

Mumen is rather confused…

It turns out Happy Genos is almost as overbearing as Pissy Genos - just in a different way.

Thanks to being so good while Mumen visits, Genos earns himself two new stickers.

(This is all very unfair - King introduces the stickers yet it’s Mumen Genos is grateful towards. Well, life isn’t fair, King knows this. But it still hurts…)

—

On days when Genos is especially good he can pick which stickers he wants. He always picks the yellow ones.

When he fills a page in his book he can have a small reward. When he fills a whole book he can have a big reward!

It’s hard to think of good rewards, though.

”I dunno what to even suggest as a reward, d’ya have any ideas, Genos?”

”YES.”

Genos reaches into his pocket, puts on lip balm and closes his eyes, making the perfect kissy face.

”What, a new chapstick?”

—

One day, Saitama unexpectedly runs out of stickers. Genos looks so sad about it that Saitama panics and instead gave his reward in the form of a really quick kiss on the cheek.

And that’s the start of it - stickers will never be enough now.

Saitama tries to reason with himself - it IS cheaper than buying new stickers all the time, it’ll save money… right?

A call to King.

“Yeah, you don’t need to send me any more stickers.”

From here on, all they need to do is draw hearts in the book to keep track.

—

King can’t believe how well behaved Genos is next time they meet.

When he finally comes over he finally realizes why he didn’t need to send any more stickers.

“Well… I guess… that works…” he mutters as he continues kicking Saitama’s ass at Street Fighter - not hearing a disgruntled “hmph” in the background every time he wins a match is a welcome change.

“More tea, King-san?”

Before he has even closed the door behind him as he leaves the apartment, he hears Genos calling to Saitama in the other room.

“I want to cash in my reward now!”

—

Give a mouse a cookie…

Over time, Genos becomes more and more insistent about his rewards.

“Sensei, there was variations among the stickers. It is only fair to also have variations among the kisses.”

He’s steaming out of his shoulders as he advances on Saitama and Saitama knows immediately that the end of his supposed heterosexuality is impending.

To his surprise, he is saved(?) by none other than Speed of Sound Sonic.

To Genos’ credit, he tries to stay calm around Panic (”Oy, worthless, poorly named sorry excuse for a ninja… do you want tea?” “What?!”). But unfortunately the sticker street is one-way - Sonic has no incentive to be nice.

The fight is inevitable.

”You cost me a kiss!”

”For fecks sake what’s wrong with you today tin can?!”

Afterwards, Saitama can tell that Genos is upset so he strikes a deal. He won’t lose any of his points, but he won’t gain any new ones either.

”You didn’t immediately attack him but you did call him a shitty excuse for a shitty shithead… so let’s call it even…”

—

”Hey Genos! If you get every sale item on this list you’ll have your choice of a smooch or two stickers!”

“!!!”

We know what he will choose. Having said that, he might try to barter - ”Maybe a quick smooch and one sticker?” - because stickers can be traded in for longer kisses later.

Getting more and more courageous, Genos starts demanding his rewards in public too. He has never been so excited to tag along to thrift stores to find “new” clothes before.

“Wow, what an awesome deal! You did so good Genos. This is definitely worth a big reward.” Genos moves closer, crowding Saitama, face dark and shoulders steaming.

“I would like that reward now, Sensei.”

Saitama sweats, takes a half step back. "R-right now??”

He steps closer, “Yes.I found Sensei the - shudders slightly - cheap used crocs, it is only fair.”

The first time Genos gets a public reward happens when they accidentally forgot the sticker book at home - after that, Genos “forgetting” them at home becomes a very common occurrence.

King has no idea what he has started. The day media explodes with the picture of Demon Cyborg and Caped Baldy kissing in public - Saitama texts King saying “I blame you” and King is so confused - but at least Genos is too busy to bother him or anyone else in the forum any more.

All in all, a happy ending for everyone.

#good lord this was so much fun to brainstorm together with y'all #next project is the Stream one #which is like #twice as long as this one wish me luck haha

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thingsileftunsaidtoyou · 6 years ago

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Year 5: Don’t you forget about me

This is Reynaldo. My boyfriend going on 5 years. We knew each other through a friend group then junior year we had animation and we just hit it off. I didn’t even know he had a girlfriend, so I would just joke all the time. When I did I tried to stay away, but he ended up catching the flu from me.

Flash forward to senior year, I text him about a tv show and we begin to talk more. Both single now. I ask him if he wants to go to the store and within 5 minutes he shows up. He says he showed up because of a fortune cookie.

We go to Sonic to talk and we end up talking for 4 hours. By the end I invite him to homecoming. And by homecoming we start dating.

I remember the feeling what it was like sitting next to him. I had left the friend group because I had broken up wth my ex but then I sat down like I never left. Sitting next to rey I never felt so many emotions. I was excited, I had the butterflies. But I was so nervous that I just jumped to fast and I didn’t love him yet.

Almost a month goes by and we just stay friendly. No excessive kissing no making out. Then one day when walking around the school he kisses me fast. I didn’t see it coming but that’s when I fell. He says he fell for me because I brought him a freshly baked cookie and ice cream. Which I now see the theme with cookies.

In December I said over call we can’t stay together. I was leaving and I didn’t want him to wait. Then I reminded him in May. And in June. July. August I’m gone and I’m texting him photos of slug bugs. I say I just want to stay friend for awhile. Then I couldn’t do it.

I fell in love with him. I couldn’t say I that distance was driving us apart. Especially since I drove home every weekend.

Now I’m at the end of college. Once again fearful of my life with Rey. But days like this I remember why I like being near him. Why he makes my life better and how much better he is now.

I love rey so much and I can’t wait for our time together soon.

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entergamingxp · 5 years ago

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Video game adverts on TV • Eurogamer.net

Apologies for the brief absence but Five of the Best is back! It’s a weekly series about the incidental details we don’t celebrate enough. We’ve talked about all kinds of things so far from Game Over screens to Villains to Scares – there’s a whole Five of the Best archive if you’re interested. Yet, there’s so much more to talk about too.

Five of the Best works like this. Various Eurogamer writers share memories and then you – probably outraged we haven’t included the thing you’re thinking of – can share that thing you’ve been thinking of in the comments below. Then we all have a lovely chat about it. Your collective memory has never failed to amaze us – don’t let it stop now!

I still get excited seeing a video game advertised on the TV or at the cinema. It’s like proof this thing I do is real. I get all energised and spin to the person next to me, trying to tell them what’s being advertised before it’s announced. I must look ever so impressive to them.

But video game adverts aren’t really that rare any more are they? These days games are much better represented at the big entertainment buffet. It was different in the 90s though. Not only were games something really new and that only children did, they also didn’t have any graphics, which made it much harder to show them in an exciting way on TV. The only recourse was to get creative so that’s that’s exactly what the advertisers did.

Here’s to video game adverts on TV and here are five of the best. Happy Friday!

Nintendo hires British comedian Rik Mayall

Trying to pick a Nintendo advert from probably hundreds over the years is a very hard job. I’m particularly fond of the Nintendo 64 Smash Bros. advert where a bunch of people dressed up as Mario and Yoshi and the rest go from holding hands, skipping through a meadow together, to punching each other in the face. And I love the Wii Zelda adverts featuring the late, great Robin Williams and his daughter Zelda because how can you not? Robin loved the series so much he named his daughter after it.

But the Nintendo adverts that take the crown are those created by another late, great comedian: Rik Mayall. The story goes that Nintendo apparently wanted to shake its kiddy image in the 90s and appeal more to grown ups, so it paid Rik Mayall to come up with a bunch of adverts with which to do it. There’s a whole series of them and some are better than others. My favourite is the Nigel Mansell one, a famous Formula One driver here in the UK at the time. He’s not in it but his his defining characteristics are: strong eyebrows and a bushy moustache.

-Bertie

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Quintessential Sega

Everyone knows Segata Sanshiro and his incredible run of 90s ads pimping the Saturn – he’s a Sega legend as iconic in his own way as Sonic, and was brilliantly celebrated as part of the company’s 60th anniversary with a new set of adverts starring his son – but Sega ads peaked for me a few years after during the downbeat Dreamcast years. There was a fatalistic sense in the air as Sega’s exit from the hardware business became more and more inevitable, and a sense of self-reflection that at times veered into self-parody.

You can see it in games like Segagaga, an RPG which started as a private joke internally in which you were charged with running the company and turning its fortune, and you can see it too in a run of Japan-only adverts that made light of the Dreamcast’s struggles. Real-life Sega exec Hidezaku Yukawa overhears a bunch of kids talking about how awesome Sony’s PlayStation is, and then vows to fight the good fight for Dreamcast, making him something of a cult figure along the way, his visage even making its way onto a special edition of Sega’s last console. Anarchic and fun, it’s a campaign that was quintessential Sega.

-Martin

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The Halo 3 diorama

I still get chills even now, 13 years later. No gameplay. No game audio. Just a camera moving, sweeping, breathing through a war-torn diorama. But with that music and with those expressions on the soldiers’ faces, and with that explosion captured so beautifully, the whole thing is more alive than a thousand video game ads that followed. And there, at the end, a motionless Master Chief held aloft by the Covenant, our old enemy. They are victorious. Grunts are cheering. The Devil is dead. Or is he? A warm glow of a grenade pulsing into life, held in Master Chief’s super-soldier hand. And then: hope, as Master Chief lifts his head to look straight as us. Perhaps, behind that iconic visor, he smiles. As long as Master Chief is alive, there is hope for us all.

13 years ago, in September 2007, I started my video game journalism career with my first full-time gig. I covered the red carpet London launch of Halo 3. I reviewed Halo 3, giving it a perfect 10. I got caught up in it all, this silly, serious, overblown, terrible, glorious, heart-pounding video game industry. I believed then.

I still do now.

-Wes

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David Lynch – The Third Space

I think I found this advert annoying at the time. Probably something to do with that kind of bitter, gatekeeper bullshit fandom around Lynch – I didn’t want to share him with anybody else. Thankfully, I don’t feel like this anymore. I want to share the things I love far and wide.

This is Lynch doing Lynch. We’re in a classic Lynch non-place, somewhere a bit like the Black Lodge. There’s a handsome fellow in a suit, a thumbs-up, smoke and strange geometry, and there’s a duck, which is Lynch’s kind of animal. Watching it at the time, I was like: it’s just Lynch doing a bit of Lynch. Sony rang the doorbell: can I borrow a cup of Lynch? Well, I’ve got this smoke, I guess, and this duck in a suit?

I remember seeing this ad at the cinema where I worked and there was a certain luxurious delight in seeing Lynch’s stuff on a huge screen. But I also remembered being a bit disdainful of the use of computer effects – Lynch had said around this time that putting a computer effect in a film is like putting something made of plastic into something made of wood.

Times change! Twin Peaks Season 3 had an episode at the centre that was all computer effects, and it felt like art made of wood right down to the grain. Also, I now watch The Third Place again having seen that final series of Twin Peaks and think – oh, the floating heads! The arm! He returned to a lot of this stuff in the name of some of the best television I have ever seen.

I am sure that on many levels this is just a dumb ad – Sony buying the cool of Lynch because they’re making a new machine to sell. But even in an advert, I think Lynch is dreaming a little – and it’s very nice to watch him dream. Gotta light?

-Donlan

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Microsoft and the wonderful Xbox Adaptive Controller

There are few televised stages in America bigger than the Super Bowl, which means there are few more valuable advertising slots than during it. It’s a precious moment to reach millions of people, and it made what Microsoft chose to do with its Super Bowl 2019 ad slot all the more remarkable.

It wasn’t about flogging the latest blockbuster, nor was it about going for the usual crowd. Instead, Microsoft took a step back and delivered a heartwarming message everyone needed to hear: games are for everyone.

Games are for everyone, and the more times we say it, the better.

-Bertie

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from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2020/07/video-game-adverts-on-tv-%e2%80%a2-eurogamer-net/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=video-game-adverts-on-tv-%25e2%2580%25a2-eurogamer-net

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