#now she has gotten better with the younger ones but literally why did she have so many kids on purpose if she's just going to be disappoint

[freelancearsonist]

Whole

Steve Harrington x fem!Reader

Rated MA for the most long-winded poetic smut i've ever written jfc 🤦‍♀️ slow burn fluff with a couple sprinkles of angst for flavor, reader uses fem pronouns and is described as having female parts, it's dirty y'all but at least they use protection

7,470 Words

A/N: you all know my mo by now i disappear for a year and then come back and lay down some god damned PORN. this fic is no exception to the rule. @shakespeareanwannabe requested this back in july and she literally just asked for a cute moment between steve and dustin, sorry you got 6k words more than you bargained for 😂 but also thank you for betaing and the constant validation you're the best ily ���

Steve’s not sure how it even worked.

He can still remember the look on Robin’s face when you agreed, how she was speechless for almost ten minutes because she couldn’t process what had just happened.

Steve’s reaction was about the same as hers, in all honesty. He’s gotten so used to striking out that asking people out has become something of a game to him. He knows he’ll get a no, and he knows Robin will laugh her ass off at him. But what can he say? He likes putting a smile on his best friend’s face.

Needless to say, you’ve shaken him. In the best possible way. Because your answer was three letters instead of two.

And now, he's a little bit in over his head.

Or, to be more accurate, a lot in over his head.

It seems like it’s been ages since he’s gone on a date, even though it’s only been a few months at most. He feels lost, like he’s completely unlearned everything he ever knew about girls.

He hates it, despises it with every fiber of his own being, but he also knows it’s true; he needs advice. And although he’ll never admit it to the little shithead’s face, there’s no one better he can think of going to than his very own protege. Who better to remind him of his own prowess than the person who learned everything they know from him?

One look at Dustin’s smug little face and Steve almost regrets it. Almost.

“Just can’t stay away, can you?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Steve rolls his eyes and gives the younger boy a little shove, camouflaging it with an affectionate pat on the back. “This is strictly business, Henderson.”

“Oh, is it now?” The younger boy’s voice takes on a smug tone as he folds his fingers together and leans back in his chair. “Well then, why don’t you have a seat? Step into my office.”

Steve rolls his eyes and slides into the booth, shooting a smile and a “thank you” to the kind waitress who delivers two milkshakes to their table.

Dustin takes his time and makes a meal of unwrapping his straw, feeding off of Steve’s clear impatience Steve’s fingers tap against the table, reminding himself that patience is necessary when you come to someone for a favor. It’s just that it’s Dustin, and Dustin knows exactly how to get under the older boy’s skin in the most annoying-yet-oddly-endearing fashion.

“So…” Dustin finally says after a lengthy sip of strawberry milkshake. “What brings you so humbly to me?”

“I’ve got a date.”

And Dustin, the little bastard–he laughs. A deep, rumbling belly laugh, so pure and unfiltered that the three other occupied tables in the diner pause their conversations to get a look at the boy clutching his sides.

Steve’s a little embarrassed by the attention, but even more embarrassed that Dustin’s reaction is so genuine. The fact that the idea of him having a date is so laughable is a bit of a punch to the gut. It hasn’t really been that long, has it?

When Dustin’s laughter finally dies down he realizes Steve’s face is completely serious, and it makes him giggle even more.

“Wait, you’re actually serious? Who on earth did you manage to pull?”

Steve’s nearly bashful as he says your name, and even more bashful when Dustin’s jaw visibly drops.

“No fucking way. I’d believe anyone else, but her? She’s like… hotter than Phoebe Cates. There’s no way you wouldn’t strike out with her.”

Steve’s immediately on the defensive. Is it really so hard to believe that he, former king of Hawkins High, could pull the most gorgeous girl in town?

But that’s just it. There’s really no one like you, not in his eyes. He’s admired you since freshman year and never once even tried with you because he knew he wasn’t worthy. You were always in the background–a beautiful, kind, smart, funny girl just out of his reach. Part of the reason he even asked you out was because he was so sure he would strike out. In the end, losing his confidence was exactly what he needed to pull the girl of his dreams.

And that’s why there’s so much riding on this. You’ve always been his biggest “what if”, the girl he wonders about when thinking that maybe not trying has been holding him back. And apparently, it has.

“Look, I don’t even know how it happened, okay? But she said yes, and… and I really don’t want to blow it.”

“Well duh. You’ll have to leave town if you blow it with her, you know that, right? If she doesn’t think you’re worth it, no one else in this town ever will again.”

“That’s exactly what I’m afraid of!” Steve groans, slouching down so far in the booth that Dustin can just barely see his poor, overwhelmed face.

“Steve, listen…” Dustin’s voice takes on an almost fatherly quality, an omniscient tone that gives off the illusion of great hidden knowledge. He gets like this sometimes, and Steve’s not always sure that it is just an illusion. “Don’t let this go to your head, but you’re, like, one of the coolest guys I know. If she doesn’t like you… that’s her problem, not yours. Okay?”

Steve straightens in his seat, a little shocked to hear such kind words from a friend that he’s used to being mercilessly teased by.

“No, no, no, it’s going to your head. I take it all back. Forget I said anything.” Dustin’s hearty giggle makes Steve smile as he sets a wad of bills on the table and slides out of the booth.

“You’re not so bad Henderson, you know that?” He gives the younger boy’s full head of curls an affectionate ruffle. “Thanks, kid. I’ll radio later.”

Not that Steve didn’t have total faith in his young protege, but it’s still a relief that the pep talk turned out to be exactly what he needed to hear. Dustin’s right, after all. Steve’s worked hard to become the man he’s always wanted to be. He may not be dripping charisma or sex appeal the way he used to, but he’s much more comfortable in his own skin. That’s what counts, right?

And you really are his dream girl. The opportunity to take you out tonight, even if it ends up being your first and only date together, is an honor. He’s much less focused now on all the ways he could screw up, hyper-fixated on putting the effort in to make this the best night of your life.

That effort comes out in the carefully selected suit jacket he dons over his white button-up, the extra spritz of cologne, the careful touch-up shave to vanquish his five o’clock shadow, the extra ten minutes using the perfect amount of product in his hair so that it stays in place yet is still soft to the touch.

By the time he gets to Enzo’s (half an hour early, mind), he’s practically vibrating with nerves and anticipation. He’s never been much of an overthinker, but he sure is tonight. Is this place too much for the first date? Would you rather do something lowkey, like catch a movie or go for a walk in the park? He has to remind himself a couple of times that you agreed to this, that you wouldn’t have said yes if you weren’t interested in the arrangement.

To say he’s prepared for this is putting it lightly. He’s run through every possible scenario in his mind, gone over conversation starters and questions he wants to ask you over and over again until he knows exactly how he wants to phrase each thing.

And still, nothing could prepare him for when you walk through the door.

He has to physically restrain his jaw from dropping because in the moment he sees you, every well-planned thought and all etiquette is flushed down the proverbial pipes. You’re nothing short of breathtaking in a dress that hugs all the right curves and shows just enough cleavage to have him imagining what else there might be to see. Your hair is pinned back out of your face, eyes framed by just the slightest bit of makeup to make the color of your irises pop. He swears he’s never seen a shade quite like them. It’s like you move in slow motion as you approach him–he sees the entrance of the smoking hot love interest in every romantic comedy, complete with smoke and fireworks, as you move towards the table.

And then some sense of decorum returns to his addled brain, and he quickly shoots up so he can pull out your chair for you like a proper gentleman. He catches just the slightest whiff of your perfume, and he’s a goner. He’s ready to sign his life away to you, to yank his own heart out of his chest to offer to your careful hands.

He has to give his head a shake to compose himself before he goes any further off the deep end. No one’s ever thoroughly shaken him the way you have, and it’s been a matter of thirty seconds. It’s almost intimidating, the effect you have on him.

“You look… incredible,” he fumbles as he takes his seat across from you. “I mean, you always do, but… wow.”

The shy giggle you emit tugs at a heartstring he didn’t even know he had.

“Thank you,” you tell him with a genuine smile. “You clean up very well yourself.”

“I do like to put in some effort every once in a while.” He flashes the most charming smile he can muster, and just like that he’s back. His resolve to impress you is reinforced tenfold. You’ve shaken him, and it’s such an unfamiliar feeling that he’s practically bumbling. He wants to shake you just as badly.

The food’s delicious, and the conversation’s even better. He has a track record for taking out a more–for lack of a better term–bimbo-y type, and that’s definitely not you. You’re smart, you’re witty, but you don’t make him feel like an idiot. He’s so taken with you that he doesn’t even notice that three hours have passed until he looks around the room and notices that every table is now empty and bussed.

The waiter delivers the check, and Steve notices you gnawing on your lip.

“What’s on your mind?” He asks, trying not to be too prying.

“I don’t want this to be over yet.”

Steve smiles. He’s got you; hook, line, and sinker. He’s never been so sure of anything, and that surprises him. He’s used to dates who are easy to read and even easier to take home, and those aren’t the impressions you’ve been giving him. To know that you’re feeling exactly what he’s feeling is a huge confidence boost.

“I don’t either.”

Your hand is so small compared to his. That’s all he can think about as he strolls next to you, his fingers intertwined with yours. He’s always considered hand-holding to be child’s play, it’s never excited him before the way it does in this moment with you.

It’s pitch black in the park and he can hear the overlapping chirping of summer cicadas and grasshoppers, the perfect background noise now that the conversation has died down. It’s less about getting to know each other at this point and more just basking in each other’s presence, prolonging the inevitable because neither one of you can bear to call it a night when it’s been such a good few hours.

You’re shocked, to say the very least. Steve certainly has a reputation, and it’s not for being a romantic. Yet everything tonight has flown in the face of all the rumors you’ve been hearing since junior high. You figured he’d be a fun fling, and probably only one night at that–you’d made your peace with the idea. To find that he’s kind, considerate, funny, and can match your intellect and quick wit… it’s a very pleasant surprise. And that’s what has you out well past a decent hour, giddy over simply holding his hand like you’re a damned school girl all over again.

“I should probably let you go home,” Steve sighs wistfully. He hates to be the one to bring it up, but you’re on your fifth lap around the park and about to circle back to where your car is parked so now seems the best time.

You’re chewing your lip again, a thoughtful habit that makes his heart pound just a little bit harder.

Here’s the thing: you’re really not the bold type. You act confident, sure, but in practice it’s a lot more difficult for you. So no one’s more surprised than you are when you say, “You could come home with me. If you want.”

Steve’s definitely shocked, too. Less shocked at your proposition and more at the fact that he’s tempted to decline. Because no matter how much he’s been running through the back of his mind what you might look like under that gorgeous dress, he doesn’t want this to end there. For the first time in his life, he wants to find more meaning than sex out of a relationship. He doesn’t want to take you home and never see you again. He wants to take you out again, and again, and again, and again after that. He sees a future, for once, that doesn’t look dim and hopeless. That fact alone scares the shit out of him.

He realizes he’s waited way too long to reply and fumbles for an answer. “Of course I want to. I’d be an idiot not to. But…”

You chew that cursed bottom lip of yours again, and Steve has to focus on the obvious cue you’re giving him rather than the fact that he wants to be the next set of teeth around that lip.

He stops in his tracks, gently pulling on your hand to face him so he can take your other hand in his free one. “It’s not a bad but. I mean, I’m going to go home kicking myself for saying no because I really honestly do want to… well, y’know. But… I want to do this right with you. I want to take you out again. I want to get to know you and see where this goes. I can’t… I don’t want this to end tonight.”

He’s eternally grateful for how dark it is as he feels a flush consume his face. He can’t remember a time he’s been so honest and open, especially on a first date; but the look on your face tells him he’s done something right.

“Okay,” you tell him, squeezing his hands in yours. “You… honestly have no clue how nice it is to hear that.”

“Of course,” he continues, “if you just want me for my body, no hard feelings.”

You laugh at that, genuinely laugh, and Steve thinks it’s the best sound he’s ever heard.

“No,” you reassure him. “No, I… I wanna see where this goes, too.”

You’re stopped only a few paces from your car, and Steve knows with a twist of his gut that this is the end of the night. It makes his gut turn with disappointment, but also with anticipation of when he’ll see you next. Already, his mind is flooding with ideas of where he can take you and what you’ll do together.

You drop one of his hands so you can walk but keep a tight grip on the other until you get to your driver’s side door, hesitating outside because you’re still not ready for this to be over. It takes every ounce of restraint he has not to kiss you, unsure of if that would be moving too fast.

Thankfully, you make the call yourself. Leaning up on your toes, hands against his chest for balance, you press your lips against his and he has to summon every mite of strength not to moan. No one’s ever tasted so sweet, molded against him so perfectly. His hands drift from your shoulders down your arms, coming to rest on your waist as he pulls you just a little bit closer. It’s a fight of will not to overstep, to break off the kiss before it can become too heated. His mind is spinning by the time you break away. He’s aching for more, and he hopes you are too. 

“Goodnight, sweetheart.”

“Goodnight, Steve.”

Your sweet voice replays in his mind all night, long after you’ve gotten into your car and driven away, long after he’s returned to his own vehicle and pulled the radio out from under the driver’s seat to check in with Dustin, long after he arrives home and soaks in a cold shower for longer than he probably should. He doesn’t think he’ll ever get your voice out of his head, and he couldn’t be any less upset about it.

He practically counts down the minutes until he sees you again. This time, he has a little less restraint. He greets you with a kiss–a sweet peck and a hand on your waist that leaves you aching for even more.

It’s a movie this time, a chance to enjoy each other’s company on a night you’re both too tired from working to engage in heavy conversation and getting to know each other further.

It starts with sharing popcorn, then holding hands, then somewhere along the way the film is completely forgotten in favor of your lips meeting his. His breath grows heavy as his hands hold your face, committing you to memory while resisting the urge to explore further. Your hands, meanwhile, are firmly on his thighs, gripping tightly to keep yourself steady as you do everything you can to keep yourself from crawling into his lap.

He whispers your name, and your grip on him tightens.

“W-we shouldn’t…” he murmurs, then gives up on the futile attempt at finishing his sentence so that he can pull you even deeper into the kiss as his tongue sweeps across your bottom lip.

It takes everything in him not to moan when your lips eagerly part to accept him.

Needless to say, once the credits start rolling you’re both more than a little hot under the collar.

“Let me buy you dinner,” Steve suggests as he woefully unwinds himself from you. Declining doesn’t even flicker through your mind as a possibility.

It’s not Enzo’s this time, but it doesn’t have to be. He could set a soggy peanut butter and jelly sandwich in front of you at this point and you’d still thank him for it. This time around, you’re not really as interested in the cuisine as you are just simply getting through this meal to what’s next. Because what’s next is all you’ve been thinking about since you walked through the doors the night of that very first date and saw Steve Harrington wearing a blazer for you. It’s a level of effort he’s definitely not known for–in fact, he’s built a reputation for putting in so little effort that it nearly made your jaw drop to see him trying. And it certainly made your heart skip a beat.

But then again, the Steve before you carelessly wolfing down his bacon cheeseburger seems very different from the Steve you knew in high school, even if you didn’t know that iteration as intimately as this one. That one was cool, collected, snarky and pompous and maddeningly desirable.

This Steve, your Steve, is nearly an exact foil. Much less cocky, a little less confident but more self-assured in the ways that actually hold meaning, less worried about what the people around him are observing of him than what you’re observing of him. He seems happier, more carefree, more eager to please others than simply himself. He’s grown so much in such a short amount of time, and you feel proud just for having the honor to witness it. Significantly more proud to be on the receiving end of his affections now that they hold the kind of value you’ve always wished they would.

He looks up and notices you staring at him while lost in thought, a small smile spreading across his lips as your eyes quickly dart away.

“What’s on your mind?” He questions as he licks a stray bit of ketchup from his thumb.

“Just… happy I’m here. With you.” It brings heat to your cheeks to admit it, but you don’t want him to go unappreciated in this moment.

It’s the right thing to say, because his smile grows even wider. “I’m happy too,” he admits. “I… I’ve wanted to ask you out for a while. Could never work up the courage, I guess.”

“Steve ‘the hair’ Harrington was intimidated by me?” You say it with a mock gasp, but your shock is more genuine than you give off. Never in a million years would you have thought that he, the man who could have whoever he wanted, would be worried over you saying no to him. It’s almost comical, especially considering the way you practically threw yourself at him on your first date. Of course then, you had no clue how much he’d developed as a person. You’re almost ashamed of your behavior now, as if you might’ve inadvertently been taking advantage of the new and improved Steve who isn’t just into you for a hookup.

He shrugs, nearly bashful at your teasing. “Never figured I was good enough for you. So I didn’t bother to try.”

You’re genuinely curious now, leaning in a little closer and brushing your fingers against his hand resting atop the diner counter. “What made you change your mind?”

“Honestly? I was so sure you’d say no that I asked just to give Robin a chuckle. She loves watching me get shot down.”

That makes you frown, and he’s quick to backtrack. “I wanted to! I just… I’ve had a bad track record lately. And you’re… you’re you. You’re the last person I should be worthy of.”

His eyes are quick to avert from your gaze, bottom lip tugged between his teeth as he contemplates whether he’s said too much.

“Steve…” you properly grab his hand now in the hopes that it’ll bring his eyes back to you, and it works. “You’re the only person I’ve deemed worthy in a long time, honestly.”

Steve Harrington is scaldingly warm. It’s one of many sensations forcing your mind into overdrive as he lays you delicately across the backseat of his beemer, one hand cushioning the back of your head while simultaneously deepening the already heated kiss and the other balancing his weight to lean over you in the cramped space without completely crushing you.

Your fingers tangle themselves into his soft brown locks, tugging ever-so-slightly as his tongue slips between your parted lips. He’s an eager explorer and you’re more than happy to let him take the lead, to show you all the skill you’ve heard so many whispers about.

You let out an involuntary moan as he wedges himself even closer to you, his body heat soaking through all the layers of clothing between the two of you and warming you all the way to your very bones.

You’re practically aching, ready to beg, and he knows it the second you wrap your legs around his waist in an attempt to get him even closer. If there’s one thing Steve Harrington’s good at, it’s assessing your needs. He pulls away just the slightest bit to adjust his position so he can get closer, wedging a knee between your legs to press right against your core, and it makes you jolt back against the car door at the same time his head hits the roof just a bit too hard.

You both pause for a moment, the reality of your situation hitting you simultaneously, and then you’re laughing. It’s light and edged with unresolved want, but it’s enough to fracture the tension of the moment.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “Shouldn’t have gotten so carried away. This isn’t how I want to do this.”

“No?”

“No. You deserve way better than this old beater,” he chuckles, then leans down to kiss you. This kiss is lighter, no longer edged with tension and lust. He kisses you just to kiss you–there’s no end goal to it this time.

“What could be better than a BMW?” You tease lightly, trying to reassure him that you’re less disappointed than you really feel.

“You know. Something romantic. A proper bed, rose petals, maybe a few candles…”

“I don’t need all that,” you try to tell him.

“I think I do,” he admits. And that’s enough to pull you back, to remind you that you need to be patient and grateful that he values you so much as to want to do this whole thing properly. That his affection is something to be cherished, not taken for granted.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper. “I didn’t mean to be pushy.”

“Please don’t apologize.” He hesitates to untangle himself from you, even though he knows he needs to. “I want this just as bad. I just… I need it to be right.”

“As long as I have you, it’ll be right,” you reassure. “I hope you know that.”

He presses his lips to yours again, a slow and passionate kiss that he hopes communicates every bit of adoration he feels for you in this moment.

“It’ll be perfect. I swear,” he vows. You’ve never believed anything more whole-heartedly than you do this promise. 

~~~

“Wait, you’re telling me that you literally had her under you and you stopped?” Robin’s halfway through chewing a mouthful of popcorn and the absolute carnage inside her agape mouth makes Steve give her a light shove.

“It’s not polite to talk with your mouth full, y’know.”

“It’s not polite to blue-ball either!” She shoots back in utter disbelief.

“How do you think I felt? I was this close,” he holds his thumb and index finger barely millimeters apart, “to sealing the deal.”

She just shakes her head. “You, Steve Harrington, are a genuine, bonafide idiot.”

She’s not telling him anything he doesn’t know. It’s been three days since the aborted fling in the backseat of his car, and he’s barely thought of anything else. Especially since you’ve been away from home both of the past nights when he’s called. He’s starting to worry you’ve gotten the wrong impression, that he’s not interested or that he’s toying with you. It’s the exact opposite. He wants nothing more than to know you in the most intimate way he can know you. But he needs it to be flawless. He needs it to be well thought-out and precisely planned, the most romantic event in the history of copulation. He won’t settle for anything less, not with you. You deserve perfection, and he won’t give you anything less.

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” he tries to explain. “I want to more than anything. But if you’re gonna go to town on a goddess, you need to do some worshiping, y’know? I don’t feel like I’ve done enough.”

Your heart pounds in your chest as you hear this admission. You weren’t sure what to expect–worried that maybe visiting him at work was an overstep–but hearing him call you a goddess certainly wasn’t on your radar.

“You’ve done more than enough, Steve.”

The sound of your voice makes Steve jump and whirl around, oblivious to Robin’s sly smirk and mumbled excuse of needing to attend to something in the back room.

“H-hey!” He squeaks, then clears his throat in an attempt to get his tone back to its normal octave. “What… what’re you doing here?”

“Oh, just came to pick up a tape,” you tease. “But mostly I came to see you.”

“Me?” He takes a moment to ground himself, loosening his too-tight grip on the counter. “I mean… I tried to call you last night. And the night before?”

Your brow furrows. “Really? I didn’t get your message.”

Because he didn’t leave one. He clears his throat and says, “I just figured you were busy.”

“Oh, well, I volunteer at the animal shelter on Wednesdays, and last night was my friend’s 21st birthday. I’m sorry I missed you, though.”

He can tell that you’re really remorseful, and it makes his heart squeeze in his chest a little bit. He plays it off with a dismissive wave of his hand. “No, it’s fine, it’s… are you free tonight?”

You giggle at the abrupt redirect, but he’s played directly into your hand.

“Yeah, actually. I was hoping maybe you could help me pick out something for us to watch tonight? If you’re free too, that is.”

His dark eyes blink slowly, wondering if you’re aware of the implication behind your completely innocent words. You. Him. A movie. Alone. It’s enough to make his head spin. 

“I’ve never been freer.”

Conveniently, you’ve come in close enough to the end of his shift that by the time you’re done combing through Family Video’s vast selection for the perfect film to use as background noise, Steve’s ready to clock out. And since you walked over after finishing your own shift at the local dollar store up the street, it works out perfectly that he can give you a ride straight to his place.

You only glance in the backseat once, but it’s enough to get your mind churning. Remembering the feeling of him, of what could’ve been. Anticipating what will be.

“Parents home?” You ask as he pulls into his driveway and parks, trying to sound casual and utterly failing.

“Nope,” he answers easily. “Took a detour to Cabo on their way home from Hawaii.”

“Sounds glamorous. You opted out?”

“I’d rather be here in Hawkins with you than on a beach alone anyday.”

He must know the effect his words have on you. Surely he can hear the way your heart picks up pace as he looks at you with those dark, affectionate eyes.

“So… this is home.” He waves a hand around the entrance hall like it’s a shabby nightmare, not the grandest house you’ve ever been in.

“I’m starting to understand why they used to call you King Steve.”

He’s almost embarrassed at the mention of that old high school nickname. “Trust me, this isn’t why.”

“Well, a palace does befit you,” you tell him with a smirk.

“Stop, you’re gonna make me blush.” The wink he shoots you makes your gut erupt with butterflies, a sensation that would normally make you a little uncomfortable. With Steve, you’d take the butterflies all day long.

He gives you a cursory and oversimplified tour of the ground floor before leading you upstairs, and suddenly he’s sheepish. It’s been a few moons since he shared his room with a girl, so the nerves are justified. But that’s too simple an explanation. You’re not a girl. You’re his dream, his muse, his–to re-quote himself–goddess. No one he’s ever cared about more has stood where you’re standing, and it terrifies him.

He hides it well, though, busying himself with making a comfortable nest for you in his bed before setting up the television set on the dresser against the far wall. If ever there was a time to regain his confidence, it’s now. He curses whatever god there is that he feels like a fumbling virgin in this moment when nothing is even happening, when just the anticipation is enough to make his hands tremble.

There’s no more stalling once you’re comfortable and the tape is set to play. His heart pounds to the steady and frantic rhythm of one of those heavy rock songs Dustin listens to now as he sits next to you, hands itching to take a hold of you but also eager not to move too fast.

Almost as if you can sense his hesitation, you reach over and take his hand. “Steve?”

“Yeah?”

“Kiss me.”

And so he does, and the second his lips slot to yours all the worry and anxiety is gone. He’s Steve Harrington, and he knows what he’s doing. You’re you, and he’s wanted this for so long. After years of being lost, he deserves to finally find the love he’s been looking for. He’s never been so sure of anything as he is, in this moment of initial clarity, that he’s in love with you.

He can’t say it, not yet. He’s sure it’s too soon, and the last thing he wants is to scare you off. But he’s determined to prove it to you, and the only way besides words is action.

He can handle action.

There’s no more restraint or hesitation behind his touch. This is it, this is what you’ve both been waiting for. There’s no way in hell he’s not going to deliver now. He’s desperate for you, and it shows in the heavy way his hands drag along your curves whilst committing you to memory; the way his tongue languidly swipes across your bottom lip; the way he shifts effortlessly to hover over you even while deepening the kiss.

He’s overwhelming every single sense of yours in such a sudden fashion, and you wouldn’t want it any other way. Especially not when his hips meet yours in a deliciously slow grind and you finally get your first little taste of what’s to come.

He keens at the little breathless whimpers that leave your mouth, reading every single signal you provide him with and accommodating each. Moaning? He continues what he’s doing, intensifying if deemed necessary. Whining? He adds something, because he knows it’s hard to use your words when you’re wanting so badly. Squirming? He pays attention to the direction of your movement and pulls away or presses closer depending on necessity. It’s down to science for him; he only really cared about extracurriculars in school anyway, and this was certainly his favorite.

But then he comes to his senses–while he doesn’t pull away completely, he needs to clear his mind and he does so by letting up a bit, allowing the kiss to become languid and the heat to extinguish a bit. It only makes you whine more, and Steve curses his damned formula. You shouldn’t be part of an equation. You’re everything he’s ever wanted, and every aspect of your relationship so far has been a new experience for him. He needs this particular activity to be different too. No formulas or calculations. Just you and him and whatever happens naturally.

Clearly you can hear the cogs in his mind turning. You pull away with a concerned look on your face and ask, “what’s on your mind?”

Now’s not the time to hide anything from you, he reasons with himself. He wants to be authentic with you, and part of that means telling the truth, even if it’s not something particularly comfortable.

“I’m… falling into a routine. And I don’t want to,” he admits. He sighs and leans back, one hand dragging through his shaggy and disheveled hair, sure that he’s going to ruin the mood if he carries on like this. But he refuses to back away from the truth now. “This… it’s always been like…. Like a series of checkpoints. Boxes to check, y’know? Kiss you, take your clothes off, make you come, fuck you, say goodnight. And I don’t want… I can’t let it be like that with you. I need this to be… real. Not just some list to cross shit off of. I don’t–”

Steve takes a long, shaky breath before he can ramble on anymore. Never has someone so thoroughly gotten under his skin. He’s never felt so insecure, so unsure. It’s terrifying. The most terrifying part of it all, though, is that he likes it. He loves the feeling of the unfamiliarity, of doing this right. In a way, it’s almost like he’s doing all of this for the first time all over again. You’re his first date, first kiss, first time. All because he’s changed so drastically, because he’s not even remotely the same person he was just a year or two ago.

Your hands are so gentle as you cup his face, tenderly forcing his eyes to meet yours.

“Steve… we don’t have to do this, not if you’re not ready. I want to be with you, not just for this, but for everything. Everything that comes with you… that’s what I want. There’s no pressure. I would wait a hundred years for you to be ready so long as I could still have you.”

Steve’s breath shakes a little as he comprehends the gravity of your words. There’s nothing he can say that can properly convey the gratitude he holds for your words, so he says nothing at all.

In his silence, you continue. “You’re more than a body, you know that, right? You’re funny, and kind, and smart. Yes, smart, don’t look at me like that. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted to be close to. I just… I want to spend time with you. I want to watch stupid movies and eat diner food until we get sick and laugh at your stupid jokes… and maybe make love with you, sure, but that’s pretty low on the list as long as I just get to be with you.”

He doesn’t notice the tears until it’s too late–by the time you’re wiping them from the apples of his cheeks it’s far too late to take them back or hide them. With anyone else, he would be angry; at himself, for allowing himself to be so vulnerable. For allowing himself to be so emotional. With you, though… with you, his emotions make him feel strong. 

For the first time since you walked into his life, he’s not scared of losing you.

“I love you,” he tells you. His voice is firm, as fierce as the kiss he presses to your mouth, as powerful as the waves of emotion vibrating through his very soul. “I love you so much.”

He barely gives you a chance to reply, as keen as he is on physically proving his love to you through myriad passionate kisses that leave you breathless. But when you finally get the chance to use your voice after a barrage of kisses that start to trail down your neck, you whisper, “I love you too.”

Four words, and they’re all he needs to quell every worry or fear he’s had over doing this relationship properly with you. Why should he have to worry, after all, when he’s already succeeded? 

“I love you,” he whispers as he trails down your neck and to your chest, leaving tender love bites on the tops of your breasts once he’s properly liberated you from your shirt.

“I love you,” he mumbles through sucking a mark a few inches north of your navel.

“I love you,” he murmurs when his lips meet your waistband. His fingers make quick work of your pants as he scatters kisses over your stomach, unable to part his mouth from your skin for even a moment.

“I love you,” he affirms as his mouth meets your hot and waiting core.

There’s no more checklist. Because this isn’t simply sex, as it always has been for him in the past. This is love-making: the kind of sappy shit they talk about in all those Hallmark movies that he rolls his eyes at the sight of. It’s like losing his virginity all over again.

He understands the old adage of “the other half” now. You’ve ripped him to shreds and sewed him back together with strands of yourself. The end result is better than the original ever could’ve even dreamed to be. He’s sure he couldn’t possibly live without you now, that losing you would be like ripping out fresh and unhealed stitches.

You’re not sure how long he camps out between your trembling thighs, but it’s long enough for you to lose count of the number of times he pulls you apart–first with his languid tongue; then his long, curved fingers; then a combination of the two. It’s like he loses himself completely in your pleasure, not a single thought in his head except what he can do to bring you to the edge again, and again, and again.

You’re trembling with oversensitivity by the time his own needs overtakes his desperation to unravel you. So out of it that you feel drunk, like Steve’s laced you with absolute bliss so pure you can barely stand it.

You’re hardly present enough to appreciate the adonis before you when he finally undoes his own jeans, and that’s a damned shame because he’s so damned pretty. Long and thick, flushed at the girthy tip from his hitherto unacknowledged arousal. His lean thighs are pure muscle, and the dark thatch of hair that trails south from his navel makes your mouth water. He’s everything you dreamed he’d be and so much more.

“Steve…” You don’t know what else you can possibly say. All you can do is vainly hope that one whine of his name can convey all of the heat, frustration, tension, and above all longing, swirling through your head in the moment.

He breaks from his lustful reverie for a moment to smile as he leans in for another heated kiss; you think it’s safe to say you’ve gotten your point across.

He slows from his mania for a few moments, lips tender as they explore against yours once more. These kisses are languid, slow, yet no less heated. Even now, he’s trying to prove his love to you. As if you could somehow not believe him after everything that’s happened, every small moment you’ve spent with him witnessing how hard he’s trying for you.

Somewhere in between kisses he manages to wrestle a condom out of his nightstand, miraculously without ever breaking from your lips.

Now is where you cut in, finally fading out of your over-pleasured fugue and back to reality. You take the little foil packet from his hands and tear it open, eager for this small chance to finally get a hand or two on him.

He lets out the most gorgeous noise you’ve ever heard as you roll the rubber down his length; a deep, earthy, diaphragmatic moan just from the simple touch of your hand. You want to touch him even more, to wrest out more of those sounds from him; to see what other undiscovered responses you can pull from him as you pleasure him. But you know that now, he needs to set the pace. He believes he has something to prove, and you’re more than happy to let him prove it. There will be plenty of other opportunities to have him completely at your mercy, anyway.

There’s no way to describe the feeling as he slides into you. It’s more than bliss, more than euphoria, more than earth-shattering toe-curling mind-altering pleasure. It’s nothing more than feeling whole. Of never knowing you were missing a part of yourself until it’s suddenly returned to you. Of never knowing what home felt like until this exact moment.

Maybe it’s overdramatic. Maybe it’s outlandish and outrageous and a million other adjectives to feel something so overpowering and overwhelming from such a seemingly simple physical act. But in this moment, you know you’ve never felt anything as right as being connected to Steve in this way.

His lips hardly leave yours while he rolls his hips against you, easily finding the perfect angle to make your breath hitch and your hands scrabble for purpose.

It admittedly doesn’t last long, but it doesn’t have to. Once you start to tighten and pulse around him, he’s a goner–deep purposeful thrusts turning to hard, arrhythmic plunges in desperate search of release.

You’re still shaking from your high when he slowly pulls out of you. He keeps you close, arms linked around your waist and dragging you to lay on his chest as he flops back against the pillows. 

You’re not sure how long you lay like that, with Steve whispering sweet nothings into your hair and pressing absentminded kisses to your face. All you can really focus on is one all-consuming, life-changing fact.

“I love you, Steve Harrington.”

“I love you too,” he whispers back. He kisses you again, just a simple peck on your lips, and you know that he’s telling the truth. It’s an eternal truth: one that can’t be changed or altered in any way. Steve Harrington loves you with every fibre of his being, and he will for the rest of his life–even if you’re both blissfully unaware of it for now.

THE END

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[maladaptivewritings]

Wicked Woman

Summary: Soap comes home, seeing that his little sister's best friend is staying during their spring break.

TW: General C.O.D activities, Catholicism, Cain instinct

Y/N: Early-mid twenties, College student, Maybe has siblings? not-catholic reader

word count 1.2k

"Do you ever shut up?" Theresa jeered at her brother, sapphire blue eyes darting across the small coffee-table.

" 'M fully convinced that Ma paid to get'cha to graduate." The oaf of a man scoffed as he slammed his last card on the table. Two hours of Uno led to this, as his laugh echoed off the walls. Theresa's back fell to the floor, her sigh following Soap's celebration.

"'Kay bubble boy." Her hand caressing her freckled temples, interrupting the man's lap around the table. He paused, and as you laid atop Theresa's bed.

Stone-Gray eyes meet your own, soon turning towards your best friend. Pulling yourself from where you were perched upon, you try to avoid the conflict about to occur. You didn't want to deal with being a human shield for either if things got nasty. By the time you had gotten to the door, you had realized how quiet the room became.

You wanted to turn around and see the stalemate that began, but self-preservation was stronger. Closing the door before you heard a thunk against the wall. Curses were muffled but Theresa's frustration was clear as she stormed out.

"You Good?" You inquired, her face red from loosing. This was the fifth loss today, no matter the game nor the player. Her huff was enough as you backed away. Johnny's laugh cueing you into what occurred.

"Dinnae worry about her lass, I just dropped ice on 'er." His voice holding back laughs."'Tch she's such'a baby."

You stifle your own laughs, that was your best friend, but she was a drama queen. His wry smile stirred at the pit of your stomach as the chuckles escaped your lips. Content with the fact he made you laugh, he ruffles your hair, disappearing into one of the many rooms as he left.

Theresa's return was now a 180, leftover's stolen from the fridge in her hands as she and you return to her room. The warm light of her lamp caressed your face as you sat with her. She ranted and raved about how annoying her brother was, and why did he have to come here of all places when on his break. Spring break was not going according to her plans. This rant was hours, mindlessly listening as you scrolled on your phone. The evening sun peeking through the window pulled you from this hypnosis, soon following the call that dinner was done.

The table stocked with family and friends as Joesph and James heps their mother set up. You had no clue who half of these people were, or what was for dinner as you sat between Theresa and a younger girl.

"Oh Tati, that's y/n" Theresa explained, the girl shared the striking blue eyes that all the boys shared. Wild curls pulled back as she nodded.

"Y/n dear, thats Tatiana." The matriarch of the McTavish's dotted. "Theresa, use her name, 've told ya this."

Rolling her eyes once more as they situated themselves, than Mama 'McTavish begins prayer.

FUCK

Everyone bows their head, you follow fidgeting with the tablecloth as you try to follow along. Most of the table's eyes closed as your own dart amongst the crowd, besides John's of course. A snort escapes him as he sees the shock on your face, eyes now squeezing shut to pretend you no-part of his mess. You could almost feel the hole being burned into his head by his mother.

Dinner was long, and grueling. Talking to strangers was not a strong-suit of yours, at all. Neither was deciphering accents as strong as these, you silently nodded along to the conversation. Head held low, both literally and figuratively as you hid from the crowd. You felt like a kid at the adult table, despite the fact teen you set beside doing better than yourself.

You counted; first the photos on the wall 19, than awards won 12 soon followed by the people at the table 15, finally crosses worn. You had made it to 9.

Eye contact, as you made it to Johnny. Eyes already focused in on you. You wanted to melt away in your seat, seemingly he did to,

"Um, Mrs. McTavish I can do the dishes while everyone catches up." Your offer posed, an escape attempt. As the woman smiles, you notice your counter want to drown in his jacket.

"Oh dear, your too kind. This is a lot though hinny." Thin lips disclose, as she wants to accept your subtle escape.

"I can help 'ma." John quipped along, soon getting a jab in the rib by Joesph. This whole dinner was for his return, and the twin's didn't want attention on either of them ofcourse.

"My sweet boy, you shouldn't runoff so quick." His mother retorted, her voice is cavity-causing as she tried to hold him longer.

"I insist," He said now making his way towards the woman. You stood in the doorway, unable to remove yourself from this mess. "Shouldn't make a lady do all' tha work." He lightly presses a kiss on his mother's forehead, shooting a glance at his brother. Always the favorite.

The both of you sat in that kitchen, loading and scraping plates. The only noise coming from the next room

"Should I make coffee?" Y/n's voice broke this.

Johnny raised an eyebrow at the thought, as if asking to elaborate.

"Feels right, y'know...Just wondering" The quiet was killing you, maybe you should have just stayed on campus for the break.

"I'd could have a cup." He nodded, grabbing the grounds from the top shelf, his shirt riding up as he reached. He set up the coffee-machine, yeah he was stealing your task once again.

"Seriously?" You contended,"I can't have one thing I can do alone." Tossing your hands in the air as you finish the last dish. He smiled simply waiting for you to crack.

"Y'know what nevermind asshole." Your hushed tone, only audible to him as you splashed the dish water onto him.

That was it.

Until he splashed you. Suds in your hair as you turn around, malice in your eyes.

"Nevermind what? 'eh bonnie?" He quoted, eyes narrowed in like a dog wanting to play. You, of all people up against him? The feral racoon of a man?

You slung a wet rag at him, tripping yourself from the water now spattered on the floor as you ran. Luckily he slipped too.

Everyone in the dining room clueless as you ran throughout the house, quietly cursing as you roamed this maze of a home. Tonight you would be Theseus, and beat this bull.

You reached the last room, no more to wind in and out of in a Scooby-Doo chase. Johnny stood at the exit, eyes watching your every move.

This was his job, this is why he was called Soap. It was funny for you to think you could escape the cold thwap of the dishrag that he himself received. The one thing he didn't think of though was how long it'd take for y/n to fall behind the door, and the fact that he couldn't break it down.

The conspiratorial grin that crossed your face as your plan was put into place.

Steps on the stairs,

Soap turns, the door closes, and his sister-in-law slips by to use the restroom. You had vanished into one of the many rooms.

[foureyedfella]

☆ I keep telling myself to leave time between posts but I get too jittery I wanna post everything all at once❗❗

☆ Here's a family photo of sorts of the Ryans!

☆ I can go on and on about headcanons but for now I'll leave this as is

☆ What I will do is sprinkle some dynamics between Aran and the rest of his family:

Alannah- seeing as she is the oldest, she is on his ass frequently 😭 when Aran was younger (12-15) he hated her, feeling that they both equally did stuff to contribute in the house but was patronized- he felt like his labor was overlooked by her and it pissed him off. By 16 his heart ripened a little bit and all it took was her helping him with a life threatening fever!! Wow awesome Aran!

Nora- closest sibling, that middle child bond runs between them HEAVY- she leeches onto him, to the pure anger of their dad, and tends to imitate him, for better or for worse 💀 while Aran is usually not even able to see his sisters all too often due to his job and his at home duties, when he can it will usually be with Nora.

Fiona- Aran is pretty protective of her, but she also gets under his skin. She is pretty much "daddy's girl" in the family, so she can and will snitch on Aran if need be. With that said, he can never truly be mad at her, she doesn't even know the true consequences that Aran gets from the snitching she just a baby. Aran will get the lights knocked out of him because of her but will still sneak her a cookie past her bedtime.

Kiera- has literally seen her like 5 times since she was born. Never has time to see her, since by 12 Aran was already given the house work and was working a job by 15. When he does see her, they just look at eachother like fish out of water.

Evelyn- despite the tough demeanor he wants to display, he is a big mama's boy. Aran was never a well behaved kid, but she always seemed to have patience with him when she was able to, and that in of itself was reassuring to Aran. Aran is only willing to help around in the way that he did because he knew it would lift a burden from his mom, who usually had to tend to her kids. He often felt himself keeping secrets from her because he didnt wanna hurt her. While he doesnt outright say it Aran loves his mom a whole lot and was pretty clingy when he was younger- when he got older, he would distance himself from her believing that the way he was would hurt her emotionally, especially when he would lash out during arguments.

Sullivan- ❗CW: verbal/ physical abuse❗ where do I begin 😭 Aran believes that his dad has a genuine grudge for him and him only, feeling that he is the only one in the house that gets punished for seemingly nothing (not that he wants his siblings to get the treatment he does, it just fuels his grudge theory). He is always at work, apparently. When he is home, it's to argue as to why Aran hadn't gotten anything done, why he is the way he is, and pretty much anything he could ramble on. There wasnt a discussion Aran had with his dad that didnt end in a screaming match, or if not, a physical altercation. He was often physically abusive too, instinctually hitting Aran with whatever was in his hands, or just his fist, when the argument occurs, usually doing field work. If it wasnt clear Aran hates this guy

☆Overall, the family became unintentionally neglectful of him, it kind of became easy to not think about someone as often when they're barely home, and with so much already happening in the house this made it even easier to forget about him

☆the reason the ages are dated so far back is because the last time Aran would see them all is when he is 17 years old, as he left the house to persue his boxing career in NY.

☆He still cares for his ma and sisters, he sends a real chunk of his paychecks to them, but cant bring himself to go back to Dublin, as he feels like he abandoned his family (Only Soda knows about this though, token drinking friend has all the knowledge)

☆sorry for the yap fest 😭 I got doodles

[dummymango]

Weak Point

The "Chica cant make female friends" has now real consequences 🎉🎉🎉🎉

Commentary⬇️

A comment i tend to hear from people who hate Ann is that "she only has male friends because She's a pick me girl" LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER, and is one of the Main reasons of why i relate to Ann

Not because a girl has difficulty with making female friends means she craves male attention, those boys understand her and wanted to support her in her dream! Freddy/Fred complimented her more than once, her Friends like her!

I had struggles with this same problem too mainly because bullying at 7-9 (god forbid You not being able to have the newest Barbie at stock because everyone thought You werent a girl, no sis i just didn't have money 😭)

Like we see at ep 19, Toddy bothered Ann to the point of making her leave the competition

In Ann's POV that was literally Toddy saying "your dreams are stupid, im far better than you and you'll never be able to Even reach My toes" Toddy did everything to win Even if meant sabotage, later in season 2, Ann remembers her words after realizing she failed, for 10 seconds later to cry while thinking about everything

Again to ep 19 im pretty sure that wasnt the 1st time Toddy did something to Ann, Toddy's first line is "look we have here, the clown Even bothered to wear her costume" and Ann already knows her name and replies with "leave me alone" plus this one scene at her song which pretty much implies another competition

The next interaction between Toddy and Ann is not really a big deal as this one but i still like to quote it

Literally just capturing Pokémon and bothering her for it and calling her loser? Girl she did nothing to You 😭😭 ya suéltala

Adding au stuff:

Toddy and Ann we're Friends at middle school, but the more Toddy started craving attention the more she started being mean to Ann (talking about her behind her back, rumours spreading, mocking her for the things she likes) Toddy craves attention because her mother barely gives her any, and so did her sister, the way Toddy started changing into a meaner personality resonated in everyone, her little sister hid her interests from her because she 100% believes that "Big sis would step on me if she got the chance" and no! That girl wants You to care for her! Toddy envys Ann because she has the two things Toddy wants most

-A mother who fully supports you and loves you

-A little sister who is not afraid and admires You

Toddy wishes Ashley was younger because "it's easier to explain things to kids/its easier to protect them" and thats the thing

Ashley just hit puberty and is pretty much emotional

Katy (Cupcake) it's just an 8 year old who saw her older sister make dresses and said "well that's the coolest thing i ever saw there must be an statue of this girl asap"

Ms paint drawing explaining their families

Now changing directions into the other girls Ann has a "beef"

now with joy is neither a Big deal, but i like to keep note that Joy and Ann were supossed to be Friends in a start

With both Joy and Meg i believe Ann admires both of them, and maybe would have gotten along if the first impression of them wasn't "we are better than you yall losers You don't deserve our talent" and that resonates with Meg, who specifically hated Ann and pretty much treated her like "the girl My brother met 2 weeks ago" ?!??

Ann genuinely wishes she could make Friends with Even more girls so that's why she holds dearly her girls (Eve,Mai,Maggie)

now drawing context: She and Cami became Friends, goes wrong because later she founds She's Tat and the one who hurt her friend and the whole camp, i don't think i have to explain who's speaking the color is too obvious, according to Lana's explanation the villains WANT to steal the negative energy (shadows) from people for god knows what, so, the easiest way to make its to torment someone until their shadow gets manifested, and that's what's happening to Ann in this drawing

[tommyssupercoolblog]

I know the popular theory for Monitoring is that the person behind the door is hallucinating that Miku (either a social worker or a girlfriend) is some crazy stalker, but I kind of just took the whole thing as a metaphor for the modern surveillance we live under.

Companies are constantly telling us how much they love us and support us, we get ad campaigns about how they still care about you even if you're weird (like the (I think State farm?) one where the clients confess things about themselves ranging from weird to disturbing and the worker is like "oh that's fine but uh you don't have to tell us that to sign up for the secrets plan. Which...really you DO just not upfront? No matter what cellphone plan you use, your phone is constantly collecting info on you)

They try to make themselves more human, they give their products or literal company social media pages personality, and voices, and now with ai that's gotten stronger. Companies will literally sell you AI partners!!

Ad targeting and location tracking and listening to your speach and tracking your activity.

Miku knows everything about you and watches you always, but it's okay because she just wants to support you and take care of you forever!! She's so wonderful and so skilled and perfect and you're better off than you would be without her, so really it's ok that she always knows what you're doing. Miku wants to be there for EVERYTHING. She WILL be there for everything.

Her teleporting and leaving veiw sometimes could be a message on how it can sometimes be hard to tell when and where they're getting information from. You turned off your location but you ads updated to local businesses anyway- how did it know? Which searches are going into their database? Are they watching you right NOW?? Our devices usually try to distract us or lull us into some sense of security, but every now and then something happens that proves they know a lot more about you than you may even realize.

The viewer giving in to her and opening the door still startles her a little, though, because this has been a goal of companies for a long time and has only recently been fully effective. Older generations have less trust than younger ones, whereas the younger you go and the more exposure they get to this stuff from a young age, the more likely people are to throw open the door and LET Miku do this willingly.

You really did it?? You stopped worrying about tracking settings?? You did it!!! You let go!!! She has actual full access!!!

Either way she's still monitoring your activity, but now you're not fighting it. Why try to salvage anything. She knows so much already, right? It's a sunk cost. And really, she's so nice!!!

[greenfiend]

So now that we have gotten a basic idea of st5 how do you think DID will be executed into the show?

We have little bits and pieces of ST5, but 99.9% of it is still fairly unknown to us.

But if the theory is correct, and the UD is Will’s mindscape… which is comparable to another planet and some characters are “aliens” aka alters… I do think things will go down roughly like this:

Will will be the major focus next season. This point kind of goes without saying and it seems to be the case from what we know.

I highly doubt they will explicitly tell us Will’s diagnosis. They especially will not use the term Dissociative Identity Disorder. Why? Because it didn’t exist until the mid-90s. Prior to that, it was referred to as Multiple Personality Disorder. I think the diagnosis will be implied, it will be up to us to interpret. The focus will likely be on Will’s trauma and how the UD is, essentially, his brain attempting to cope with said trauma. This implies that Will somehow developed manifestation powers… he willed these things into existence. The good and the bad.

In the beginning of ST5, we will soon discover explicitly just how little Will remembers (from the UD and from his past).

Vecna will likely haunt Will with his past. Forcing him to recall some events of his past but intimidating him into silence. Making him feel the need to isolate from others. This will make us continue to believe that he is the main villain of the series… it won’t be until later on that he will be revealed to be mere symptom of the problem, but not the problem itself. (I’ve said this before but I do believe Vecna is a Persecutor Alter).

We will finally see Will begin to lash out, and push others away (or at least try to). In ST2, Owens mentioned that Will would likely exhibit personality changes and lash out due to his PTSD, but we never did see that in Will. We did see it in El, however, in that season…

Mike will remember things from the past as well, and he’ll finally understand Will’s code at the very beginning of the series. Will told Mike (in code) “it was a seven, the Demogorgon got me”, Will remembered what happened to him in the past prior to his vanishing! After he went to the UD, his memories became vague… Mike figuring this out is important. They are both the “keys” in the “two man operation”. This is likely where that flashback of a younger Mike, Will, and Jonathan will come in. It won’t be fluff like people are expecting… it’s likely related to something dark.

Mike and Will’s pasts are very intertwined I think… more than we know. Not just in a romantic sense. There’s a reason why their initials are the literal upside down versions of each other (when using Will’s mother’s maiden name). WM -> MW.

Although I do think that El, Vecna, Max, etc are alters of Will’s… they all are also connected to Mike as well. He is a factor in their creation (IMO!). I think they are both involved with creation within the show. It’s not all Mike, nor all Will.

We know El has an unconventional ending, and it’s been alluded to being sad/bittersweet. This makes perfect sense to me when looking at the story as a whole. El exists as a protector. She is E.T. to Mike, and Atreyu to Will. She is the one who takes over for Will when he hides (he likes to hide after all). But because this is a coming of age story, she needs to leave. The boys need to grow up on their own without the superhero. Their courage and love for each other will lead to them becoming their own superheroes. El will live on in the UD but a better version of it (foreshadowed when she stands alone in the UD at the end of ST4). She will “fuse”/“combine” with Will in the end (foreshadowed by that hug between Will, El, and Dustin… notice how El disappears into Will?)

Once El fuses with Will (and Vecna), he will finally be able to face the truth of his past. We will be able to re-contextualize lab flashback scenes (and other character’s flashback scenes) as altered memories of Will’s past with his own Papa (Lonnie Byers).

Max is a bit of a wild card for me. The fact that she apparently watches Ghost (1990) with Lucas tells us a lot though! This movie is about lovers re-connecting through supernatural means. It’s famous for the scene where a psychic (Whoopi Goldberg) allows the ghost of a husband to “use [her] body” to reconnect with his grieving wife. Could Will perhaps allow Max to use his body as a way to briefly reconnect with Lucas? Perhaps. Man, that’d be an interesting concept I will say.

Anyway, sorry for the late response! These are the thoughts I have so far regarding connecting the DID theory with leaks/spoilers we know of thus far.

[xproskeith]

can you tell i'm bored-

please answer those. i also drew a ghost for you. because i'm bored. i'm gonna answer my asks too lmao HAVE FUN!

Lmao ok but I actually love this. The you wrote it out AND the ghost! Tis the season!! 👻🎃 Now let's begin!

11: best friend?

My best friend is awesome! His name is Ben and we've been friends since we met at college for our first degrees (we'd both end up going back for nursing later. He ended up following me on that front). But we really started to get closer after we both graduated and especially after I moved back to New Orleans after moving home after graduation for a year and a half. He's just a really cool and chill guy who has always been there for me and been super supportive. We've both helped each other through some really rough times in our lives and really supported each other. He's pretty introverted, tho if you met him you might not realize that at first. It's a hilarious contrast to my extreme extroversion. I also owe meeting my wife to him. He pushed me to finally get on the dating apps and I met my wife on hinge. He also encouraged me when she and I started talking and dating seriously. He also knows how to deal with my anxiety very well and respectfully, tho my anxiety has gotten immensely better than it used to be. Still, worth mentioning. He's also said on multiple occasions how much he appreciates and like how I am just unapologetically me and an unapologetic nerd. To quote him, "genuine folks are hard to find." So that was also really cool to hear from him and just reaffirmed that being myself is the right move. When he lived in the city with me, we'd hang out at least once a week. But we text daily for the most part and still try to see each other as much as we can even tho he's 2.5hrs away now. He was my best man and gave an amazing and touching best man speech. Now, almost a year later, people still talk about it and quote him, "IDK how else to describe him other than he's aggressively friendly." it's accurate and everyone who has heard that agrees lol. Anyway, he's great and I'm blessed to have him in my life. Here's a pic of us at my bachelor trip and before my wedding. As you can see, and as I've mentioned before in various other posts, the dude is built like a Greek god lol

15: favorite movie

This is actually a hard one lol. I enjoy a lot of movies, but have a hard time narrowing down a fave. Hmm. Deadpool and Wolverine is certainly up there for very obvious reasons, but a movie that has always stuck with me since I was younger is The Prestige. It's a well done film whose twist really got me at the end. It's rare for me not to figure out a movie twist before the end and this one I did not see coming.

18: most traumatic experience 

You're gonna get 2 for the price of 1 lol. 1 childhood trauma and 1 adulthood trauma. Both cover a span of time instead of one specific incident.

First is childhood. From pretty much 1st - 4th grade, I was bullied pretty often. I was a very big and fat kid who was also nice and didn't exactly fight back, so I suppose in retrospect that made me an easy target. But beyond that, I was often made the butts of my peers' jokes or would be asked to do something silly or embarrass or the like and they'd say stuff like "of course we're you're friend!" and "if you do it, we'll be your friend." so this went as well as you can expect. It got so bad and took so much of a toll on me that my mom literally pulled me out of school to homeschool me from 5th-8th grade. This would eventually become repressed as the mind often does only to rear its ugly head later in adulthood when my friends wanted to institute a "punishment" for whoever placed last in our fantasy football league. I had always opposed this idea, but they we were really pushing for it that year. Didn't help I was dead last, but I was having such a visceral reaction and didn't know why. But I was literally about to drop out of the league because of it. Then all of a sudden the memories came flooding back and I finally understood the why. I explained it to 3 of my friends in the league, including the guy in charge, and they abandoned the punishment idea. They said they hoped they knew that this was very different and that no ill will was meant. I did, but it didn't stop how I felt. So the punishment idea was dropped.

Now for adulthood. That would be working through COVID as a nurse. This was traumatizing in many ways, but in particular there were 3 key points. The first was watching patients deteriorate and die so rapidly. Like I would leave in the morning and come back to find out my patient coded and died 3 hours after I left. They were fine before then. We also called so many rapid and codes because people would deteriorate so much and so rapidly. Despite everything I knew and docs and nurses way more experienced than me knew, we couldn't save them all or stop the rapid spiral.

Secondly, every time a code blue or rapid response is called overhead, it's preceeded by a beep on the intercom. I would hear that so many times during that time that I found myself to physically flinch and tense and my heart would race whenever I'd hear it. Even a year later when it was just happening to make an announcement. Didn't realize it was legitimately a PTSD response until I was talking to an army buddy who was like "Yeah dude that's what happens to me when my PTSD gets triggered." I overcome that by becoming the code and rapid nurse for my icu when I moved. So I just threw myself headlong into it and overcame it by exposure and desensitization.

Lastly, there was the whiplash of being called a hero and having my knowledge and insight respected only to be called a liar months later. By my own family even. I still remember making a lengthy thoughtful post about the importance of making and explaining why surgical works for day to day vs the n95 masks needed in hospital and the same day my mom made a post about how covid is a lie and masking is just the government trying to control us. My family has on multiple occasions told me my experiences weren't real and I was exaggerating, especially because I'm liberal. After many fights, we all finally agreed to just never talk about it around each other. An uneasy peace, but better.

So there you have it. My two biggest traumatic experiences lol.

21: what I love most about myself

My kindness and willingness to help people

28: a description of the person I dislike the most

Hmm I don't really dislike people. But I suppose this one older lady at work. Kind of short, white, fading blonde hair that's always short. She's always unhappy lol. Mostly dislike her bc she gatekeeps certain patients and has full control over the schedule despite not being the manager.

42: last thing I ate

Greek yogurt and pumpkin seed granola

[thatonegayspacerock]

what does tai think about all the cool epic people he’s adopted met

Long list time lets go

--

Camila - Conflicted. On one hand, he's worried about her. She seems to drive herself to exhaustion even if it takes a massive toll on her body. The fact that she isn't eating or drinking either and is just sleeping is slightly alarming but..she needs it. On the other and though, she was quick to pull a clever at him....and push him away when offering comfort...and is in her right to hold a vendetta considering how he's acted while she was awake....

...

He just hopes that he's helped the others in her restful absence enough that they'll be better off than when he first got there, even if his worst fears do come true and he does get kicked out of the house when she recovers.

Shiver - She's been through so much...so much that he isn't clear about. He's more than well aware of this fact -- hell, he isn't even fully aware of how she works. A minor deity perhaps? But having a minor deity in a video game made from someone else who has the memories of a human...that doesn't even sound like a proper explanation for what she is. While she has a good heart and she's trying her best, it is a little troublesome why she decides to stay in the railroads of all places when literally anywhere else could be better. She might've gotten along with his younger brother though, definitely more of a quiet type.

Chase - Oh god....how the mighty do fall....What the fuck happened after that night? As much as he knows how harmful it is to feed into the delusion that he's one of his brothers, a part of him selfishly hopes that a bit of Chase still believes that, cause lord does he need it. He grew but...he didn't mature. And now he's trying his best. Tai can see that with the way he's so close with Penko. It's like looking in a younger mirror...There's probably more in common there than either of them would want to admit. For now they can at least accepting comforting each other, acting like other people to fill that missing piece in their hearts

Penko - Im sorry....I dont know what I did wrong - I Dont Know How I Can Fix It. I Promise I Mean No Harm To Any Of You Guys...but i also know my pleas fall on deaf ears....because of memories i don't want to let go and forget yet....

Jack - Fuckin-- PIECE OF SHIT. The MOMENT He Gets His Hands On Him Again So Help Him God. Thank Fuck His Sister Isn't Here To Deal With That Sleezy Bastard. If She Somehow Did Show Up And He DARE Lay A Finger On Her, He Would Make Death Look Like A Blessing.

[saturnsfrog]

Post COVID Depression

I missed out on a lot. My late teens are gone and I’m a young adult now. I never got to grieve those years I had to say in complete isolation because of my immune system— the world just started up again, some people never stopped living and doing things. I’ve had friend, or people I thought were friends, abandon me because I didn’t finish high school physically with them.

I never realized how fragile my relationships were until I saw them going out and doing things later on in the pandemic without asking me out. I caught COVID anyways after lockdown and it wrecked me. I already had POTS and ever since I caught COVID that first time my brain fog has gotten literally debilitating. I was wondering why I kept forgetting how to do things I know I can do or just straight up don’t things wrong that I’d normally have no problems with.

My brain fog has aggravated my dyslexia and furthermore aggravated what I assume is my undiagnosed dyscalculia. Back when I was younger I was diagnosed with dyslexia for read and math, gotta love the American education system✨

Anyways, I just feel so fucking helpless all the time and then, of course there’s my depression, I’m defeated because of my brain fog and then there’s the fast pace of college that I knew I wasn’t mentally well enough to handle but had to do something besides stay home. I can’t drive due to my condition every time I go to get my driving part of my exam something takes me out. It’s either my anxiety is particularly crippling, my body failing me to the point my doctors general don’t know what’s going on, my instructor is booked, she’s off, she’s out!

When I was sixteen COVID was still raging and perceived as a threat so I couldn’t take my driver’s ed class at my high school.

I’m just tired… so fucking tired of having to pretend to be okay to functionally in society. I lost three fucking years off my life! I’ve lost friends because of my isolation, I’ve lost valuable precious time, I lost my opportunities, I gained so much more anxiety! No one should have to suffer in silence to benefit those around them but I did!

My friends got tired of me being disabled and immunocompromised so they left and moved on with their lives. I faded into obscurity to the point when I was on id the last people still doing online classes THEY KICKED ME OUT OF MY SCHOOL ANS ENROLLED ME IN A ONLINE SCHOOL! I got my diploma and graduated from that high school that treated me like shit. They would never tell online kids about events like prom or homecoming you had to physically go to school to know when those would happen. I was fucked over advising wise— no one gave me my options and my fucking town is practically a cult so everyone was saying stay in state, go to the college up the road, the community college down the road is great!

I know college out of state is expensive but my advisors were supposed to help me find scholarships to the schools I wanted to go to! That had programs I was interested in! I didn’t even bother applying out of state because of my health, one minute I’m infantilized the next I’m told to suck it up. I believe this state is killing me and COVID showed me that… the past few years it hasn’t gotten better for me as trans person either. I feel so stuck and drowned out. I live a comfortable existence is this town I hate, but am I living? Am I doing what want to do? No. My mind is slipping and I don’t have the will to keep remembering how to do the things I love… I have to just do something, anything to make me feel normal again— how I felt before COVID…

[bakusquad-101]

Mina Ashido Headcanons

- I feel like her quirk would turn off i don’t know but it just seems right! (She’s black this is canon idc)

- She has curly hair , it’s very bounce , she has this pink bonnet with pretty stars on it (Denki sometimes steals it ,rip)

- Plays volleyball & track , it’s canon (horokoshi said she’s athletic)

- Sweetest girl ever , literally it’s rare to see her mad or upset (although she cries a lot in the anime

- Very energetic , jumps on all her friends ever time she seems them , everyone has gotten use to her doing this

- Life of the party , she always gets everyone hyped(canon)

- She doesn’t know what she likes and doesn’t know how to , many people had crushes on her , but she can’t seem to find love for her , she’s had crushes but she just can’t find herself to date (canon)

- she’s thicc (IVE ALWYAS HAD THIS THOUGHT FOR A WHILE NOW , it just makes sense..like Ochako she thicc as well 😛)

- Her and Denki are besties , literally, they doing everything together,they definitely make youtube videos together ,mainly pranks or food thing.

-She has her own personal TikTok which has like 590k+ , she does dance tutorials and like daily things , her favourite thing to do is her gmrw, she loves to show people how she gets ready at the dorm (at first the schools didn’t allow them to have TikTok because of safety but eventually let them,know one knows how she gotten so popular but she also popular at school too)

- fashionista

- reads bl , just for fun when she’s bored (she find them amusing)

- she’s that one TikTok girl that was like “when he starts looking at another girl” and it says “but I’m no better than any man”

- does all the boys hair (only when they ask), she always pops denki with a comb when he whines and moves around a lot , bakugou doesn’t move only when she’s parting it(you can’t tell me his hair isn’t crunchy),Kirishima is no better , instead of him complaining and whining it’s Mina ,he’s hair is so clumped and matted it literally took her all day to wash all the gel in his hair,Sero is the easiest since he actually knows how to take care of it,bakugou also , he just goes to hair when he having trouble with it).

- bakusquad is always protective over her , especially when her quirk is off , she’s so beautiful , so she get hits on a lot but she can handle herself ofc but their just their…(waiting to attack)

- definitely sleeps in bakugou room to annoy him , one time bakugou was walking to his room half way asleep not knowing Mina was trailing behind him the whole time , bakugou got in the bed and felt pressure on the other side of the bed , once he looked over he saw a the grinning smile on her face , he didn’t kick her out but complained for like 2 hours and she’s just their listening to him yap and babble as she falls asleep right there left side on his bed and he’s still yapping.

- Her and Sero go out to get supplies for the dorm and her hair , they always end up at a gaming store or a clothing store.

- Kirishima always goes to her when needs to vent (not like that…) but she knows how he gets , she best at comforting too! , their also besties , she always looked up to him but little did she know Kirishima was her 1# admirer.

- When she was younger she watched girls kissing (don’t ask me why , I just know she did)

note : this was fun to make , “why isn’t none of the other girls in this” , this is a bakusquad page , everything it gonna be about the bakusquad </3

- Other versions will come out tomorrow I just really wanted to make this since I haven’t been on here for a while and I miss my favourite girl!

- Hope you liked this , some of this stuff was just in my mind for a while , have you guys watch season 7 yet…?

[theforgottenmcrmy]

live reactions to house of the dragon season 2, episode 8

I’ve already seen spoilers because of the leaks but I’m determined to forget what I’ve seen and pretend like it was all fever dream, so let’s go

spoilers below the cut

Just remembered that since is the finale, the official score for this season should hopefully be available on Spotify and such soon, right?🤞🏻

I can’t believe it’s the season finale already. Where the heck does time go🥲 wish we would’ve gotten ten episodes at least

Aw, a monkey🥹

Tyland (and Jason) Lannister being uncomfortable just about whenever he’s on screen brings me more joy than it should.

You know what would solve a lot of problems? Having an on call therapist in the Red Keep. Or just one on call for Aemond alone.

Make a mental note to check Larys’s math later

So if Aegon thinks Sunfyre is dead, does that mean Sunfyre is really dead or that Aegon just *thinks* he’s dead? (Still hoping for a Sunfyre return🥲🤞🏻)

Larys is projecting himself onto Aegon big time…

“Aegon, the Realm’s Delight” if you don’t stfu-

As much as I understand Rhaena setting off on her own, I’m also realizing that she just kinda left her younger brothers alone…

Jacaerys is better than me. I’d have Ulf’s tongue (or feet) then and there. Such a lack of respect for the freaking heir to the throne. Gross.

And the balls to say they are “cut from the same cloth?” For fuck’s sake, even Alicent, the freaking QUEEN at the time, had the sense to be more subtle. A newly raised up Ulf should be kissing the ground Jacaerys walks on to make sure he keeps his new standing for longer than a day.

Also, raised up dragon rider or no- that is no reason or right to be talking that informally to a prince of the realm. Ever.

GAG HIM, JACE👏🏻

So Daeron is younger than Jace, interesting…

Corlys having a better understanding of Aemond than his own mother had (until it was too late)😭😂

“The Queen Who Never Was” staaaaaahp😭😭😭💔💔💔 🚢

I was low key hoping Daemon was gonna gaslight Broome into thinking Harrenhal was totally normal and not haunted😂

Broome, you scumbag

Ser Simon, please be loyal to the Queen🤞🏻

Helaena: “I was happier before I was queen” Alicent (internally) “girl me too😭”

Aemond, someone ought to cut off your arm for grabbing your freaking queen like that

I’m so glad Alicent is finally stepping up a parent and trying to protect Helaena. It’s a shame it’s (quite literally) too late in the large scale, but still.

GWAYNE FIGURED ALL THAT OUT? BY SEEING THEM FOR LITERALLY ONE MOMENT? Damn, we live an observant king🖤

“Do not think I have no shame in me, ser” Bitch, everyone thinks that about you ser crispy

Cole realizing just how inconsequential he is in the grand scheme of things…

I feel for See Gwayne here. What the heck do you do? Your supposed leader just basically voiced that he expects them all to die… what kind of motivation is that?

Tyland getting his ass beat😭😂😂😂

Wait, why do I kind of ship these two?👀😅

I love these two so much🥲🖤 Baela reminding Jace of his worth. Saying things as plainly they are.

Also, why hasn’t anyone gone looking for Rhaena? Surely there were some armed men tasked with traveling with her and her brothers. They haven’t noticed one of their charges has suddenly gone missing?🤨

Nahhhh, I ship these two for real now, what the hell😂

What?!?! The plot thickens 😂

Now Ulf’s behavior is lacking in front the of Queen? Someone get him out of here rn-

“There will be time enough to see which one of us is a coward-“ ADAMM!!! you FORESHADOWER!!!

Not Rhaenyra trying to gentle parent Ulf-

Ser Simon, I knew you were a real one🖤

Daemon, you probably should’ve just gone back to sleep like😅

Wait a minute, ALYS might be the therapist everyone needs…. And if Aemond is in major need of a therapist👀-

DAENERYS?!?!????🔥🔥🔥

Helaena?!?!

Aemond being vulnerable for probably the first time this season

“Will you burn me, as you did Aegon?”🤭👀👀👀

“I could have you killed” is such a long freaking way from the kid who would have married her in a heartbeat if he’d been told to.

Caraxes seeing Syrax🥲🖤🖤🖤

Didn’t think about this, but imagine being a foot soldier from the Riverlands (probably not knowing which dragon is which, which you might possibly know if you lived in King’s Landing at least) and seeing some dragons descend upon you during a war. I’d be running and hiding too like😅 just in case they weren’t friendly ya know

Daemon looks happy to see her🥲

“Winter is coming” CHILLS

More chills… this is so fucking reminiscent of Jon’s “the King in the North” scene 😭🖤🖤🖤

These two, joking around and whatnot🥲🖤 this reunion is what I didn’t know my heart needed

THE MUSIC- it’s the same as the last scene of season 1 episode 1, but with more of a flair🖤🖤🖤

Alyn sees this for what it is- Corlys having a “come to Jesus” moment now that most of his immediate options for heirs are now gone… Corlys deserves this, tbh

“Rhaenyra the Cruel” thinking about the small folk at every turn

Girrrrrrrl what the fuck-

Book Alicent would never, but if she had Book Rhaenyra would’ve had her struck down then and there😅

Alicent, still never missing an opportunity to slut shame Rhaenyra. Even when she is literally begging at her doorstep😒

Yes Rhaenyra, throw her previous words right back at her👏🏻

Except Rhaenyra wouldn’t just have to have Aegon’s head, but Aemond’s, and Daeron’s…

The impossible choice: season 2 version

“History will paint you a villain” um, yeah

This music👀👀👀 piano? You know how many times we’ve gotten piano on a got/hotd score? Pretty sure less than a handful

God I hate Ulf

TESSARION 💙💙💙

This rendition of the various house’s themes?!?!?!?!?! CHEF’s KISSES 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻

Otto, where the heck have you been, Loca?!?!

Again, this musiccccc🖤🖤🖤

So when Rhaenyra takes the capital and finds out Aegon’s gone (even though Alicent didn’t know about it), THAT will be the final nail in the coffin, right? That will be the final betrayal?

What?!?! That’s IT?!?!?

I mean, I didn’t want to end on the Battle of the Gullet (which I’m guessing will be episode 1 or 2 next season) but I wanted it to end on SOMETHING

This definitely feels like it should have been the second to last episode of the season, not the very last one.

Only another two year long wait to go🥲💔🖤

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #203

Who has made the biggest sacrifice for you? My mom, for sure.

Who is the most overbearing person you know? Our landlord/family "friend." It's hard to call her that by now.

Do you still remember your first kiss? I do.

Are you happy with where you are relationship-wise now? In general yes, but I do wish Girt and I had more time with just each other, not sharing houses with parents. I do sometimes wish we had our own place already, but I'm also very understanding of why we don't, both from my side and his. Sometimes I just get impatient and feel like I don't get to be a real adult.

How many kids do you want to have? Realistically none, there is a thick-ass book of reasons why I should not have a child.

Have you ever purposely given someone the wrong number? No.

Who’s the last person you smoked weed with? I've never smoked anything.

Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos? Permanently.

Who is the person you have hurt the most? I'm going to assume Sara, but I have no way of knowing that for sure.

Who is the person that has hurt you the most? Jason. Sara's right behind him, though. She's SAID more hurtful things.

Who’s the last guy to give you roses? Girt.

Did your parents do drugs when they were younger? I'm aware that Dad did while he was with Mom but before us kids were born.

The first thing I’d do after winning the lottery is… Buy Mom a house that's perfect for her.

The videos that always make me laugh are… Game Grumps ones.

One of my favorite writers is… Margaret Atwood. I'd like to read more of her stuff.

One of my favorite singers is… Freddie Mercury, RIP king.

What’s a favorite hobby of yours? RP. I want to branch off to more animal RPs, I've just had trouble finding places that aren't overly complicated or are my style.

I think a good source of therapy is… Journaling.

A friend who I can always be myself around is… I feel zero shame being fully myself around Tez and Mazzy. I think it's important to mention here that I KNOW I can be 100% myself around Girt, I'm just so wildly afraid of rejection/judgment/being seen as "weird" that I'm still sometimes needlessly hesitant. I've gotten better about it, though.

Something helpful to lose weight is… Not a very helpful response, but real talk, the most reliable "how to" I've found is to be in a good mental health state. My heaviest era took place during my saddest, and my healthiest weights post-initial mass weight gain came from periods where I was mentally well. NO, you do NOT need to be "okay" to lose weight, I'm just saying historically, that stood out for me.

A fear of mine is… Aside from the answers I normally give, for some variety, slugs. I'm very afraid of them just because of their sliminess and general texture. I will scream if I see one, and will NOT touch something one is on, even though I know how stupid that is, it's like I expect them to bolt up my arm when they're fuckin slugs, bro lmao. I want to overcome this fear, I actually think visually slugs are quite cute, and they're also helpful organisms that are just so harmless, but I'm so freaked out by them. It's funny, I'm not scared of snails at all; it's like put a shell on their back and suddenly the cuteness overrides the "ew slimy" reaction.

If you knew me well, you’d gift me… Anything meerkat-related, for sure. You could literally gift me a single Mountain Dew Voltage and I'll deem you a saint, haha.

Who is someone you’ve been enjoying watching on YouTube recently? I've actually been watching some Good Mythical Morning again! I'm wondering if perhaps my hyperfixation is cycling back around, haha. Maybe I just have three of them that rotate in my head like a rotisserie chicken.

Who was the last of your friends to have a baby? I think Bethany?

Which family member did you get your height from? My mom.

Which TV channel did you watch the most as a kid? Animal Planet.

Who is your favorite cousin? I don't have a favorite cousin.

If you had to choose a country to live in besides your own, which country would you choose? Probably Canada. Sucks major ass that you can't have hognose snakes as pets there, but.

Do you think you look better with long hair or short hair? Short.

What did the last mask you wore look like? It was an oxygen mask lmao

Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? I officially have now as of the second asthma attack.

What color was your nursery when you were a baby? I didn't have my own nursery that I remember. I had a crib in my parents' room, at least in the house we moved into when I was like, two. I don't remember the house I was actually born into whatsoever.

When is the next time you will attend a family reunion? Where will it be? We don't have these.

Do you like cereal? What would you consider your favorite kind of cereal? I do. I think the chocolate Krave is my favorite.

What’s your favorite lollipop flavor? Strawberry or watermelon.

Who did you last hold hands with? My boyfriend.

What sounds help you sleep? Rain on the window. A fan.

Do you have a loud or more soft laugh? LOUD bitch I am a hyena

Do you like to dip your fries in a frosty or ice cream? No, I don't get the appeal of this.

Cookies or brownies? Brownies.

Are you a fan of musicals? I'm really not.

Have you ever stargazed with someone? Yes.

What color is the vehicle you ride in most often? White.

What’s your favorite kind of pasta? Just ordinary spaghetti with meatballs.

Would you say you’re a condescending person? Not at all.

Have you ever mowed a lawn? No, that is not a chore I ever want to have.

What’s the last song you listened to? Pretty sure it was "Back In School" by Mother Mother.

Are you content with your social life? No. I wish I had a few more friends and did more things with these people.

Have you ever had edible flowers? I've had honey from honeysuckles.

Do you read other people’s survey answers? I read my friends' answers. And of course sometimes when copying surveys from randoms, I can't help but read some of their answers just because my eyes naturally graze over the words, but I don't pay real attention.

Do you work better alone or in a group? ALONE. I was one of those students in school that was often allowed to work alone when things were meant to be group projects; my teachers liked me and also had faith in my ability to deliver, so they respected how I was comfortable working.

What are 3 essential items you won’t leave the house without? My phone and inhaler are the only real musts. I carry my wallet in my purse too (where my phone and inhaler are too), and it has important cards in there, such as my blood type in case of some wild emergency where I need a blood transfusion and I'm nonresponsive.

Do you enjoy spicy foods? I do.

What is something you want to be remembered for? I advocated for love and peace and kindness towards our planet and all that live in it.

Do you like pickles? I love dill pickles.

What is something you take a lot of pictures of? MY CAT lmfao deadass

What is your favorite thing about the beach? Being in the water. I'm one of those people that love being smacked (but not totally abused lol) by the waves, being tossled a bit and stuff. If reminds me how small I am, how inconsequential my ass is in the giant scope of the universe and even just this single planet. It's VERY freeing from anxiety, I just feel very peaceful when I'm in the ocean. I hate the salty wind, I hate the yucky sand and walking through it and having it stick to your wet body, but being in the ocean is an S-tier experience for me.

Are you afraid of snakes? Not at all, snakes are some of my favorite animals on the planet. Like sure, I'm going to be respectful to venomous species and give them space, but even those I'm not properly "afraid" of.

Do you think frogs are ugly? No, they're cuties!

Name three things that you find refreshing. A nice cold drink, a cool breeze, and the taste of mint.

What is your favorite vegetable? Broccoli or well-prepared green beans.

Do you own any succulents? No, just fake decorative ones. I'd kinda like to try taking care of a real succulent, so long as it was hardy. I don't have full faith in myself with taking care of plants.

What is your least favorite shade of green? That like, puke green color. bleh

Do you like olives? No.

What are three of your favorite insects (or insects that you think look cool)? Butterflies, moths, mantises. I wanna mention ladybugs too, they're so cute, but I think they've gotta come in 4th place.

Would you ever dye your hair green? I have done this before, like a mossy green color and I loved it.

Are you a tea drinker? I hate tea. Any kind I've ever tried.

Do you like mangoes? So I'm funny with mangoes. Mango flavor? It's one of my favorites! But the texture of real mangoes is so fucking repulsive to me, I can't eat them. I was SO disappointed when I tried one the first time.

What’s your hair texture? It's VERY thick. Smooth, I guess. Mostly straight, mild waviness.

Do you play games on your phone? Yeah, I enjoy PokemonGO, DragonVale, Dragons of Atlantis, and Amaru (it's a self-care pet but has "game" traits to it).

Is acting something you’d enjoy? Are you convincing? No, I would feel VERY uncomfortable.

In what ways are you immature? I am very attached to/reliant on my mother.

Are the Olympics something you get into? Not at all.

Chocolate, strawberry, or vanilla milkshake? Chocolate or vanilla, depending on my mood.

What’s something or someone you’ll always defend? Gay rights. Access to safe abortion. Equality of all sorts. Lots of stuff.

[snowscaled]

ABOUT OVERVIEW

Zargeicerinth's only surviving offspring, Gimmoirer the Hermit is and has been a grown dragon for centuries now. Making his own liar deep in the cold mountains far above sea level, huddled away under snow and ice, only emerging for food and brief interest. He has lived through the the foolish bargain of a child for power, the rise of that child into the mantle of "The Child of Winter", changing of the balance of the world at that child's righteous hands, and their sudden vanishing from history and title both. Yes, Gimmoirer knew Lyric---knows them, even, that same shape after centuries of curious mystery. It came to him more broken than it left the first time, a little younger, not nearly as experienced. It came with help, which they never would have done before. It came sick.

It's the magic, he supplied helpfully to the pitiful group before him shivering in the cold. He yawns with all his teeth out just to watch them shake a little more. That's what you get for shirking your duty for 3,000 years to go play hero for humanity.

He never understood it. He heard it fourthhand from a bird at the mouth of the cave, how they had gone to the ends of the earth ( the literal ends, to the gates of hell, to where mortals dare not be ) to right a balance nobody but less resilient lifeforms cared about to begin with; where had it gotten them? Gone without a trace ( and he'd be damned if he was picking up that Archon title now. he liked his life of leisure thank you. ) and no one ever remembered their name. No one even remembered why. It was stupid, in his opinion, but that's what fledgelings do---they pick on something bigger than them and get killed.

The so-called Prince of the Tundra---a misnomer given to him by those who made up for their weakness with petty words---does not pity them. Some did, but not Gimmoirer. Not when they're bleeding from every wound and their mouth, covered in scales and spines and run ragged by the trek just to still give him an indignant glare like they didn't even want his help. It's such a prideful, minute expression, and yet it is the exact same as one they gave him nearly three millennium prior, and he is intrigued by that thought. That they would come with help but they wouldn't willingly accept help from him.

We need your scales to forge something to keep the magic in check, the little pink imp told him, holding Lyric's shaking form to his side, They're your only family. And you're theirs.

And he is intrigued further. Were they family? Dragons hardly had a concept of it---you could be related, yes, but avoiding your relatives was to prevent genetic disaster from happening in a gene pool, not out of some filial piety. Gimmoirer felt no more familial obligation towards Lyric now than he did towards Zargeicerinth when he was still alive, nor towards his mother even after she spent time dutifully raising him from egg to fledgling. It was such a human concept, to help someone because you were related to them, or attached to them. He sees two other dragon offshoots among their group, equally as determined, and is that what the world has become? Had Lyric, the real Lyric in his opinion, not sought out their shared predecessor for something to save their own kin, also? Did they feel that attachment to the whole world, and that was why they willingly defied gods and natural order and time? For family?

I'll give you my scales, he relents after a prolonged period of thought, In return you'll allow me to come with you. I shall experience it and decide for myself, that concept you describe.

And maybe it's because he's bored after hundreds of years of napping and he wants to see what the world has changed into again. Maybe he wants to see if they survive on that will and magic suppression alone. But either way, he goes with them, no matter how much Lyric complains or dismisses him---he rather likes that spiteful attitude of theirs, it suits what they should be.

In order to better interact with modern day society, and to fit into most structures, Zargeicerinth crafts himself a human shape. He could choose to look like anything, but he bases his appearance on Lyric for simplicity and to better adhere to his pursuit of the understanding of what "family" feels like. He retains several draconic traits, including his mouth of sharp teeth; his white scales; a heavy tail nearly as long as him; and lizard like pupils. though he may look humanoid, Gimmoirer is far from knowing anything about humanity. What could be mistaken for sympathy or kindness is actually just laziness on his part, refusing to expend more energy than necessary unless something truly has his interest. He spends time frequently napping, following Lyric around, and making them do things for him instead of learning how to navigate devices and modern appliances.

Although Gimmoirer does not care about the concept of "family loyalty", he makes attempts to sometimes act this part, to understand the method. He finds Lyric to be interesting and complex, and likes to push their buttons to learn more. Because dragons often communicate and bond through physical signs such as biting, play wrestling, posturing, scenting and contact, Gimmoirer is often touching and pushing Lyric around like an actual hatchmate would; this behavior can seem ( and intentionally be ) aggressive at times as Gimmoirer tries to understand "bonding" from a humanoid perspective. He may also be physically aggressive or touchy towards others Lyric considers "family", and expect things of them, such as listening to his demands.

Gimmoirer's dragon nature can sometimes make him confrontational and aggressive. He is very strong, won't hesitate to throw his weight around if someone challenges him, but gets disappointed when they usually have to admit defeat or die quickly. He bares a number of harsh scars on his face and the rest of his body from fighting with other dragons in his life, as is expected, and he bares all of these scars with pride as they clearly did not kill him. When challenging him to a fight, be prepared to have the full brunt of an ancient dragon punched through your gut.

Related to that, Gimmoirer is less interested in finding a partner than most dragons would be. He considers someone who can give him a good fight to be an important quality in a nest partner, but his laziness and known strength makes it hard to find a good match. Romantically, he has little interest, as his species usually lives in solitary outside of raising eggs. To avoid what he has been told is a human taboo, he won't date or sleep with anyone Lyric considers to be "family".

[mejcinta]

The stuff that happened with TCG is why I don't take this fandom serious anymore ...

For some reason we went from joking about our favorite War Criminals in the darkest humor possible to emotional weirdoes harassing actors on panels.

I blame the fucking marketing for taking a regular ass show and turning it into a goddamn litmus test of morality.

Yet, on the other hand, across the board, people are taking fiction way too serious.

Even in the Downton Abbey fandom super emotional female fans - yeah, I'll say it, fan girls - are basically holding the entire franchise hostage and not allowing any adult or darker storyline to take place because they view the characters as not just real people, but their friends. And no one can do anything but really cheesy fluff plots in the movies, because, the overly emotional wine moms will rip their shit if Lady Mary is shown in a bad light or something bad happens to one character or the other. They don't want any lasting consequences.

It's gotten so bad that even in fanfiction they black list writers if they write too dark or adult storylines with the character ... I mean actively go out of their way to try and hound them off of Reddit.

And this is Downton Abbey for fucks sake!

The level of completely out of control hate messages I still have from the HOTD fans over me defending Jaehaera as the rightful queen is insane. Over me supporting a little girl ... WHO IS A FICTIONAL CHARACTER!

I know you're younger than me (I'm 33) but what the fuck happened where these people can't seem to tell the difference between fact or fiction.

It's even bleeding into actors and actresses personal lives. The TCG incident is tame compared to one actress I know who played a character on a tv show who another female character was in love with in the show ... just once - ten years ago. Now, in her personal life, she can't actually date men openly because her fans will tear her apart if she's not dating a woman. Like their entire career is based on her fangirls believing she's a real life lesbian rather than Bi-Sexual. Even now she gets shit for being a 'fake lesbian' when she never said she was in the first place.

How the fuck did we get to this place?

You were right to say it. The Fan Girl ™ phenomena has become a sweeping and overpowering threat to modern entertainment and actors' personal lives.

Yikes! I can't imagine being forced to put up a front just because fans will lose it if I don't act like the character I play in real life. Wow!

I blame this on this growing desire in the West to tolerate and placate weak minded people, instead of encouraging mental and emotional development. The studios are no better because they pressure actors to play along with the loud and entitled audiences. Actors can't even be douchebags anymore because this obsession with image has taken over, instead of encouraging diverse views, and it's even worse when you factor in superficial feminism in stories, which has melted many fans' minds into goo!!! Literally, people stop using their brains when they see a female lead and don't allow anyone to do a fair analysis of said character because apparently "Woman can do no wrong", "Woman always right", "Woman strong". It feels redundant and cultish.

I don't know about y'all but urgent help in the West is needed. 😂😂😂 Seriously. The mental deterioration going unaddressed is leaking into entertainment and driving people into extremes as well as bankruptcy (Marvel and Disney)!! When the whole point of entertainment is to enjoy ourselves in whatever corner we choose to be and to view characters objectively and to treat them and judge them equally and humanly!

Instead we have morality Olympics on the daily, about how only one character is always wrong and another is automatically right for having a vagina. Weird behavior if you ask me. I'm sick of it.

[chocochococoffee]

1, 4, 16, 24

Hello and thanks for asking! Sorry I am late I posted that ask meme then fell asleep.

What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

Let me see. I believe Ive gotten to the wrong point lmao. I have become more the kinda person whos salty at main canon couples than just OTP. Yeah there's shit I may never get like for example, Rukawa/Sendoh from Slam Dunk or viceversa (why did they have so many stuff??????) or Bruno/Giorno (I can see why but theres better for the one week alive man) but rn I prefer to bitch at distasteful canon main couples because bruv some people have no palates. Anyways theres also Jon/Martin in TMA which I never liked and fandom worsened them into very imaginative ways for me to prefer to not touch the last seasons again lmao. Might think of more later.

4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?

Mmmm... in the SVSSS fandom I got mingling tagged for blocking so yeah. Reasons? I prefer Ning Yingying/ Liu Mingyang. I kinda can't stand most iterations of Sha Hualing tbh. Canon? Just barely. Popular? At least behind the beloved femslash pairings they are the most popular. So yeah, I am pissy. Whatever.

16. If you could change anything in the show, what would you change?

Ok for starters, which show. There's just too many lmao.

Well, for me, theres a long running show that I would change a lot of things and thats Digimon Adventure. Sorry! I have been a long time Digimon fan and Right Now I can't atand what Toei did to the Adventure series, starting from Digimon 02. I would eliminate 02 from life. It doesn't deserve to exist. Its notorious it was done with little time, was a badly made cashgrab that aimed for Ryo and ended with Ken. Created Daisuke which personality was directly diluted Taichi (in canon even Hikari says this). Had Daisuke'a sister and did NOTHING WITH HER even tho shes an amazing character, instead used Iori who sucks so much his grandfather was more useful canonically. Had Miyako who never evolved from being annoying and also changed her dream from being a computer scientist to full time mom because girls don't deserve to have dreams outside the traditional stuff (Looking at what you did with Sora, Toei), etc etc. Ken and Wormmon were literally the only good thinga the anime had. Not even Takeru and Hikari could save it because their characters warped in a way you could not recognize from their younger selves. It sucks. And from there it just got worse and worse. Burn Toei to the ground. Who said that?

Another series I would change. Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney but all from Apollo Justice to the last game. Characters are decent but all the Apollo Storyline was made to make Apollo so fucking miserable even Phoenix had to change his way of being to actually be horrible too. They also tried to eliminate Maya and Edgey. My ass, they couldn't lmao. But they still tried. I would accept Apollo Justice first game if they didn't have to change Phoenix to be such a cocky shit against Klavier in that shit encounter where PW was framed to hell and back. I can't understand it, really. What's the need of making characters stupid so the story advances??????? It's fucking hell. I am aure that if they had made PW a bit more of what he was in the first three games in that case the next games would've been very different. No that I am expecting Capcom to be sensible tbh. They suck (not as much as Toei).

... Wow thats a lot of hate :) I might have more though. Just not enough neurons rn.

24. Would you recommend XXX to a friend? Why or why not?

Mm. This has a lot of XXX series, I wonder if it was made with one series on their mind? Anyways, last time I did a rec'd I was kinda shooed away from that person asks to then notice they read it because some other person rec'd to them. My bad (also fuck them), I prefer now to just ask people HAVE YOU SEEN THIS, explain why I liked it and see if it resonates. And if I would recommend any of the series I like? I am not sure. Most of my friends have very different tastes from me. I feel like I am the token fujo of the group 😂. But at least some of them like PW and agree with me already lmaooooo.

This questions came from this ask meme.

[percontaion-points]

TOWB chapters 57-60

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Chapter 57

THEY WERE ALL CHILDREN. Some were close to Ranka’s age, but some were far younger, all cycling through various states of decay as the disease coursed through their veins. Most were beyond saving—they slumped on the floor, secured by manacles and chains, snarling at the sight of Ranka, drool running down their chins. But a few weren’t yet lost. Witches lounged on infirmary beds, hooked up to tubes similar to the ones Aramis had used to pull blood from Ranka’s veins, watching as disease slid into their bodies. Hands of Solomei moved between the beds, checking their vitals, patiently administering more of the disease to the ones who were still lucid.

Why do you have to go through the trouble of creating a viral infection when you can simply trick them into willingly getting sick and dying?

Seriously, these people are literally too stupid to be alive. THEY ARE LITERALLY KILLING THEMSELVES; THIS PHRASE HAS NEVER BEEN MORE APPROPRIATE. 

“She told us it would make us strong. That we could go anywhere and do anything.” Asyil laughed bitterly. “Ongrum loves her lies.”

I have to know if she thought that Ongrum was lying before she let the Hand inject her, or if it was only in hindsight did she realise what was happening. 

This was what Nadya and Sigrid had been transporting. This was what had killed Nadya in the tunnels. Which meant there were more winalin witches loose beneath the city, likely hunting humans at this exact moment. All along the Hands had sown stories of monsters lurking beneath their city, snatching their pets and children, feasting on their corpses in the night. Now Ongrum had ensured it would be a reality. 

Congratulations, you played yourself. 

“We all own this,” Asyil said dully. “We watched her mold you. I suppose it’s easier, to let the bad thing happen than stand against it. But she’s a poison, Ranka. She always has been. If I could go back—Goddess, Ranka. If I could go back, I would have shot her through the heart. I would have gotten you and Yeva the hell out of there and never looked back.”

Oh, this is 100% the disease ravaging her right now. I doubt that anybody would openly admit that they sat back and watched as a monster destroyed everything that they loved unless they knew that they were dying.

And Ranka had always been so very good at fighting.

Chapter 57 summary: In case you couldn’t guess from the previous chapter, but they’re trying to infect themselves in the hope that some of them will somehow survive. However, since this entire thing is being overseen by the literal anti-witch murder cult, there’s no doubt in my mind that there’s going to be a 100% death rate here. Even if somebody does start to get better, they’ll probably be silently suffocated under a pillow. 

This continues to be the turning point between me rallying behind the murder cult and Ongrum, and siding with Ranka. Because now they’re straight up murdering innocent people, and telling them that this’ll make them stronger. 

Ranka sees Yeva’s sister, Asyil, lying on one of the beds. She goes over, and Asyil asks if Yeva is really dead. Asyil then goes on and apologises for having let Ongrum groom the entire coven into whatever sacrificial lambs that they’ve turned into now. Especially for Ranka, who was forced to bear the brunt of Ongrum’s abuse because nobody else wanted to deal with Ranka. She then asks that she go home now, and Ranka knows that Asyil’s only home is with her sister. Ranka asks that Asyil carry a message to Yeva that she’s sorry, and that she’ll put things right. Asyil then dies, and Ranka goes off to make things right. 

Chapter 58

“Isn’t it obvious? The Star Isles were missing a key ingredient: a real, healthy blood-witch. With your biology we can refine winalin until it becomes stable. And a new generation of blood-witches will have the perfect teacher, ready and waiting to help them conquer their power.”

Except that you need fucking living witches for that. The few witches who haven’t willingly signed up for their death sentence will soon, it seems like.

She just hoped she wasn’t too late.

Chapter 58 summary: Ranka storms out from the infirmary and demands to know why Ongrum did it. Ongrum openly laughs at Ranka’s misery, and says that it’s to breed a better witch. Also keep in mind that by Ranka’s own admission, Ongrum is too uneducated to even have thought up even the idea of biological warfare on her own; she knows that the Hand were whispering in Ongrum’s ear. Ongrum goes on to say that with Ranka’s blood, they’ll perfect the plague and turn every witch into a blood witch. One without the bomb inside of them, ready to go off and kill the host at a moment’s notice. 

Ongrum then continues to taunt Ranka, by implying that Aramis lied about how her mother had probably mastered her blood magic. This is where Ranka loses it. Because she might not be smart, but there was no way that Aramis was faking the emotions she had when she talked about her now-dead mother. 

Ongrum then proves that there’s literally no depth of her depravity. She said that she’d taken Yeva south with her, because she bears a mild resemblance to Ranka (in that they’re both blonde and white). She handed Yeva over to the Hand, who held her captive . And she’s like “IDK where that bitch ended up after they released her when you showed up. She probably ran away to a human village, since she was so weak anyway.” She dead-ass thinks that Yeva not only survived, but that she deflected to the humans. Ranka loses it, because Ongrum literally sold a fellow coven-member to the enemy. And as the readers already know, the Hand literally experimented on Yeva and then turned her loose in the city to try and infect others. Ongrum also admits that not only did she sell Ranka out to the guards as well (those wanted posters were a little too specific in their description), and that she’d sold other witches to the Hand for their initial experiments. 

Ranka then pulls out a tranquilliser dart she’d snagged in the infirmary, and jabs it into Ongrum’s neck. Despite all of that, Ranka can’t bring herself to kill Ongrum. That’ll probably be a mistake, and Ranka will likely end up needing to kill her regardless, but whatever. 

Chapter 59

Ongrum was awake. She’d called her witches, and they were coming for blood. Ranka’s time was up.

Chapter 59 summary: Ranka goes to where Percy is being tortured by Tafa and another witch. However, if you think for one second that this is Ranka growing as a character and showing empathy for others, you are wrong. She only cares about Aramis, and Percy is simply a means to an end.

Ranka throws her weight around, and orders them to take Percy down to where Aramis is. That it’s under Ongrum’s orders, because Ranka is the blood witch. 

Ranka also has to bitch-slap Percy in order to keep up her ruse. This only makes Percy hate her more. 

But then as they’re going, Ranka realises that the tranquilliser she used already wore off, and she’s out of time. Should have fucking killed her and stuffed her body in a supply closet or something. Cause then you would have had a bigger window of movement. 

Chapter 60

“Have you seen them, Tafa? The sick ones?” Did you know? Did you help her? 

Tafa looked away. “It’s necessary.” 

“Tell that to Yeva and Asyil.” Ranka swallowed. “What she’s doing is wrong. I think you know that. I think you’re scared too. If winalin gets out into the world, our entire coven is at risk.” 

“Don’t talk about the coven. You have no right. You have no place—”

This is going way further than simply knowing and not doing anything. Tafa is on board with the literal self-genocide plot, which makes her as much as a sociopath as Ongrum. 

But the cell beside hers was empty. Galen was gone.

Chapter 60 summary: Ranka fights off the two witches Ongrum had sent, but without her blood-magic, she’s weak and kind of pathetic. It’s only the element of surprise that allows her to best them. 

Tafa asks how Ranka could turn her back on her own coven. Ranka points out the hypocrisy, and asks if Tafa saw how everybody is literally dying of the witch-plague. Tafa laughs and she basically parrots Ongrum about how this’ll make them all stronger and superior. 

Percy knocks Tafa out, since he was randomly left unattended. He asks Ranka why she’d changed her mind, and she tells him about the plague witches brewing in the infirmary. Percy is like “Well shit. Let’s go.”

They run down to the dungeon, where they find Aramis in really bad shape in a cell. But Galen isn’t there.