#now of course the MCU is VERY pro-woman and would likely fix this by giving him an extra Odin but - LOOK!! - she's a woman Odin!

[nostalgia-tblr]

...actually it's kind of effed up that the early MCU cared so little about women that Loki has no bio mother (and nobody ever even asks the question). yes, yes, i see the daddy issues, i am very invested in how this specific male character has daddy issues (lying, btw), but like. they literally just forgot mothers exist???

[the-mjolnir-owner]

Some thoughts about Infinity War

Now that I slept over it and had some garlic tea to help with my cold, I think it’s time to talk about it. 

Long post ahead. Contains spoilers. Don’t read in case you didn’t watch the movie.

After almost 10 years of MCU, I was surprised they kept their death score so low. I was wrong. It was a risky decision to make things like that and they are brave, let's see how it rolls from now on.

I wasn't surprised about any of this, really, because I was sure all of them would die. The fact that some of them happened to survive was a plus. I wasn't surprised about all the asgardians + some of the sakaarians + Heimdall + Loki (+ probably Valkyrie) dying right in front of Thor right in the beginning. The whole shock value was necessary to make Thanos stand up like a big unforgiving villain and they made it, he killed an entire population of space refugees that consisted of children, elderly people and non combatant, unarmed men and women. You can feel the whole cinema feels as powerless and impotent as Thor, hands tied both literally and figuratively.  Thumbs up for the Russos, thumbs up for emotional trauma and heartbreak and tense moments.

Cons

Loki 

All along I thought he had a plan, maybe because that's what the fandom made me believe, less because of what we actually see on screen. Loki has always been a shitty planner and all his schemes blow up in his face. I believed he had a trick up his sleeve that Thor and the audience didn't know when he took the tesseract, which was a stupid ass decision. But he didn't, in the end there was nothing. I don't know, maybe he thought they'd have more time, but when Thanos asked him for the tesseract, and Thor told him they didn't have it, I could taste the regret that emanated out of Loki. He regrets it, he really does. And he died saving the most important person in his life, and I was angry and sad about how it all ended so soon.

They didn't give us what kind of deal Thanos had with Loki, how did they meet, how did it go, if Loki knew the Dark Order, nothing. It was bad writing, really, because Loki normally has double intentions. It was bad, predictable and it hurt to watch. I thought he was going to use the tesseract himself and manage to save the day but they all died anyway. I wanted Loki to help to kill Thanos, I thought he'd have a secret weapon in the end, or a secret way to destroy him that he learned from the time he spent with Thanos. Nada. I'm sad and disappointed, he didn't deserve it. He was doing everything right this time :(

 Romance

I'm not very fond of romance in hero movies, except in rare occasions where it's well done (Wonder Woman yay) and there was a lot of heteronormativity romantic scenes. I wanted to skip forward all of Wanda/Vision interactions and Gamora/Peter was too clingy imo. We could have saved some time without them.

 Thanos

Ok, I get it he's big and evil and purple. But he had a lot of time of just wondering and doing titan things. Wherever he showed up on screen I showed him the finger like the adult I am.

 The Dark Order

I don't know their names, I don't know their ambitions, they are just random people following orders. They aren't strong or extraordinary and they were easily subdued by our heroes.

 Bruce Banner/Hulk

He's still lost and confused, I get it, but he was exaggerated and borderline boring. Whenever he was on screen I'd roll my eyes. Where is the Hulk when we need him the most? Sounds to me he's only valiant against smaller thunder lords, uh.

 Captain America

Too little screen time, I only remember like 3 things he said, but it was good to have him back and some people cheered in the cinema when he first appeared to save Vision. I wish we had seen more of him, especially more of his interactions with Thor.

 Natasha

Same as Cap. Too little screen time. I love her I always like to see her.

 Red Skull

?? ???? ??????? That's all I'm saying.

 Thor's suicidal attempts

First when Loki died and Thor crawled to him to cradle him closer. I don't think Thor had the energy to leave and if he did, he wouldn't. This time he wasn't going to leave Loki behind and I think he decided the best thing to do was to die with his people and the last member of his family, all of them in a space coffin and none would know of what happened to the asgardians. Of course, he didn't die with the explosion like he intended and he had yet another chance when he tried to reignite the star. It was also sad to watch, how extreme he'd go and how little regard he has for himself and his well being. We have Thor telling Eitrit that he should have hope in a moment, the other moment he tries to get himself killed. Rocket and Eitrit were worried about it too and I don't think there's a solution to it. Thor will go is ready to kill or die or both and he won't stop.

 Pros

 Doctor Strange

He has his priorities sorted and he doesn't change them. He does what he must to save shit and I trust him because he knows what's up.

 Guardians of the Galaxy

It's amazing how they all sound like a big family, I really like them and I loved how they interacted with Thor. I'd like to see a version where they managed to get in time and help the asgardians. Drax telling that Thor is what happens when an angel and a pirate have a baby had me in tears. Peter jealous of Gamora, priceless.

 Thor

And here I go. It's no secret that Thor is my favorite. I always love Thor in every situation and in every movie he's in. In Infinity War he's hurt, he's broken, he's lost and hopeless but he still moves on and that's the kind of hope I need. All of his arc in Ragnarok was pointless. If Marvel was going to kill all the asgardians anyway, why make Thor save them?

Chris Hemsworth's acting is on point, he made the most of every scene as usual. All the emotion on his eyes when he saw Loki/Heimdall dying was enough to have me crying with him, like I was on his place. He has gone through so much and his suicidal attempts just prove that he finally had enough. Marvel finally gave him an opportunity to talk about his family and he talked with Rocket of all the people (creature). It was a gift to have Thor so wounded yet so woke. He knows what he has to do and how to do it and he'll do it even if it kills him because he has nothing left to lose. It hurts, but that's that kind of energy that have things going.

Thor takes the Guardian's supplies and he's ready to steal their ship and they decide to go along, because, come on, what else can they do? Call the police against the asgardian? But Thor knows how to use his words and he convinces them to go with him and help him. More than his good looks, it's good intentions and sincerity.

When he learned about Gamora's family he instantly regarded her as a friend, he knows she's not the one to blame about the mistakes of her Father, and he knows about it all too well.

 Stormbreaker

Thor's whole self-discover journey in Ragnarok taught him that he didn't need a hammer to be powerful, the power was in him all along. Infinity War took it and threw it in the trash. The moment Thor thinks of a plan he thinks of forging a new weapon. Thor in Ragnarok knew he didn't need a weapon. Thor in Infinity War almost died to get a new shiny bigger hammer. I think the idea of it was to make an axe to fight the Gauntlet, and I will only accept it this way. And Thor looks good with an axe.

 Gamora

OMG Why? I wasn't expecting for this at all, neither was she it seems. I didn't like it how they made it sound like that what Thanos felt for her was love, when I doubt that he can love anything. He tries to convince her to come along, he uses Nebula to convince her (and ouch, poor Nebula) but Gamora is strong in her views and beliefs. She's rather die than help him. Little did she know that her death would always help him, whether she liked it or not.

 Wakanda

Poor wakandans didn't deserve any of this, to have this battle on their yard. When Thor did THAT, when he showed up with his new weapon to help them, lightening on his eyes and everything, people in cinema cheered. They cheered again when he wounded Thanos and I know he'll try again and again until he get it. Or die, more likely.

It was pretty obvious to the audience that Thor is by far the most powerful avenger, sided with Wanda, and he'll only grow stronger and more powerful out of spite and hate, those are great fuels. I still wanted Thor to greet T'Challa and to have them recognizing each other like the Kings they are.

 Girl power

When Wanda was fighting Proxima and we all thought the was about to die, Natasha and Okoye came to the rescue and I was so proud and so happy to see them together, like sisters, helping Wanda who is a still so young but so powerful and so full of pain. It was also one of the best interactions.

 After this long essay, I'll say the movie had it's good parts and it's bad parts, like everything in life. I didn't like the ending but I wasn't exactly shocked. I think there's still so much to happen, I think there are so many people to return and all we can do is wait and create new content to fix what we didn't like and improve what we liked. That's what I'll do. If I learned something with this movie, is that I should always be positive. Like Thor. The sun will shine upon us again.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Shit I Hate #2: Aspects of the DCEU (And the Psychopathic Portion of Its Fandom)

So, I’m sure a lot of you think I outright hate the DCEU. I haven’t been shy from giving harsh criticisms of it in the past, though the whole hardcore anti-DCEU thing from a while back was only to get rid of a particularly annoying mutual (and she and people like her will be brought up later in this post, don’t worry). So now, here, I will give my honest-to-god opinions on the DCEU, and talk about what it is I hate about it. Because I certainly don’t hate everything about it; there’s plenty of value to be  found in it. But it has some glaring flaws I want to address.

So, as I said, I don’t hate the DCEU. In fact, I really, really want it to succeed. Anyone with a brain wants it to get better; if there’s only one company making good superhero movies, well, people are gonna get fatigued. Good competition is better for business than steamrolling the competition. But sadly, the DCEU has been, from an objective standpoint, incredibly disappointing.

It’s totally okay to like and enjoy these movies; like I said, there is plenty to enjoy and admire. But from an objective standpoint, I can’t say any of these films are very good as superhero movies. Let me go into what I mean: the superhero movie genre is obviously not set in stone, and it can encompass a lot of things: it can be dark and gritty, lighthearted and comic, a mixture of the two… But DC has tended to veer towards dark and gritty when it comes to adaptations, especially when it comes to Batman. Out of the seven Batman films from the 80s to today, five of them have been darker and grittier than your standard comic book fare (Tum Burton’s and Nolan’s Batman films to be precise). The other two are much-maligned for their campy tone and silliness. Now, Nolan’s films, while being dark and gritty, are very well regarded for the most part, particularly the middle entry of the franchise, The Dark Knight. This film is one of my all-time favorite films, and is probably the film that has held DC back the most as they try and start up their shared cinematic universe.

The reason Nolan’s Batman films work despite their dark and gritty nature is because they are much more grounded in reality than your standard superhero fare as well as featuring a hero that tends to deal with darker fare in general. DC, in their rush to join the cinematic universe bandwagon Marvel kickstarted, decided that Nolan’s successful Batman films would be the best films to emulate when going for their reboots; the problem is, their first film in the DCEU was a Superman film, and Zach Snyder was directing.

Zach Snyder is not a bad director; in fact, he has directed some truly amazing comic book adaptations (Watchmen and 300). The thing is, though, that Snyder was always best at faithfully translating someone else’s work to live action. He managed to deliver a faithful adaptation of Alan Moore’s infamously unfilmable graphic novel hat honestly improves on it in some areas, and the same goes for his adaptation of Frank Miller’s tale of the 300 Spartans. Original material is not his strong suit; look at Sucker Punch, one of the most awful, brainless action films ever shat out, and the point where you can see his career starting to spiral into Shymalanian failure. Man of Steel is not an adaptation of any one Superman story, and the questionable elements of it are not easy to ignore with Snyder’s style. The incredible destruction during the final battle, the weak characterization of Zod, the more violent Superman, Superman killing Zod, it’s not as easy tos wallow with the pretentious pseudo-Nolan style Snyder is going for. While he’s great at adapting other people’s work, Snyder is not good at emulating other director’s styles, and it really makes the film one hard to recommend. It’s a dark, gritty, and dour Superman movie, and Superman is not a hero people wanted to see get dark and brooding. Still, Man of Steel is not a film I’d say is objectively good or bad; it’s a very mixed movie, and I’d say it’s on the fence. At the very least, as the first movie in a franchise, it had great room to improve with a sequel. A sequel would address the flaws, fix plotholes, just work everything into something more enjoyable. I mean, all the actors did a good job with what they were given, and Cavill is easily my favorite live action Superman, so a sequel would easily improve on this, right?

That’s sadly not what we got. Not entirely anyway.

I once said the DCEU was like if Marvel had released their films like this: Iron Man → The Avengers → Guardians of the Galaxy → Avengers: Age of Ultron → Thor. Some asshat responded with some smug, sarcastic condescension saying “Oh why not have an origin story for every character in Lord of the Rings before Lord of the Rings actually came out? :)” This analogy is incredibly stupid, as Tolkien likely would have LOVED that, and superhero movies REQUIRE character setup. Do you know why The Avengers was as enjoyable as it was? Because all of these characters had already been set up in other films, so the movie didn’t need to feed us all these backstories for all these characters, just giving “need to know” characterization for any newcomers. A big crossover like this only can work if there’s proper setup; if Freddy vs. Jason happened after the first Friday the 13th and before a single Nightmare on Elm Street movie it probably wouldn’t be a very good film. It had plenty of films to build up what a threat Freddy and Jason were. Batman v Superman does not do that. It is the followup to Man of Steel, and it expects us to just go with two brand new, never-before-seen characters, one who has little to no backstory given and one whose backstory and characterization takes up a good chunk of the first third of the film. There really should have been a new Batman film, a Superman sequel, and Wonder Woman’s movie prior to this. They didn’t have to be origin stories, a brief origin like Batman’s at the start of Batman v Superman would have been fine, but audiences needed SOMETHING so we wouldn’t just be thrown in and forced to accept shit. The lack of buildup even seeps into the cameos; we are thrown the Flash, Aquaman, and Cyborg origins one after the other in a three minute span of time. It’s like they’re trying to cram as many origins in at once instead of bothering to take time establishing these characters. Imagine if in the comics there was one panel of Batman’s parents getting show, and then Batman is just an accepted part of the universe from there on out. What the filmmakers don’t seem to get is, even though most of us know the general story, not everyone is a comic fan with years of experience in background and lore. The reason buildup is needed is for newcomers, people unfamiliar with the characters. Just throwing characters in alienates people.

Of course, this is the least of that film’s problems. The tone and even the scenes are extremely dark and bleak until the very end. There’s very little levity, unless you can bring yourself to laugh at Eisenberg’s cringeworthy performance. Now, obviously, I’m not saying there needs to be tons and tons of jokes; The Dark Knight had rather sparse humor, and movies like the Iron Man sequels, Thor: The Dark World, and a good chunk of Age of Ultron are very weak due to the oversaturation of comedic elements. But having this level of darkness and crushing gloom and moodiness can wear on audiences; it can be hard for people to give a shit about a story and characters in a miserable setting. And this is a common criticism; aside from Wonder Woman, people have found it hard to care about the heroes in this film. Their characterization can come across as unlikable, bitter, and mean. While this works for Batman, for Superman this is even more alien than he is.

And again, it’s not like this movie has nothing going for it; the fight scenes are all fantastic, Bruce’s origin is well done, seeing the Big Three together is cool and all the actors save Eisenberg do well… but it’s not enough. This movie is, quite frankly, a hot mess, a film that apes the Nolan style with no idea what made it work, much as all the awful Shrek clones that came out in the 2000s that tried to be Shrek without understanding why it was such a good film in the first place. It’s just dark, bleak, and edgy because that’s what they think audiences want! And that is most definitely not the case, to a certain extent.

Audiences DO like having more mature superhero stories; The Dark Knight and The Winter Soldier certainly prove that, what with their more serious tones. But, especially in the sort of culture we have these days, people don’t want to see darkness and bleakness in their superhero films anymore. Superheros are supposed to be escapism and excitement, something enjoyable to see when you want to escape the darkness of the world. In an America that has experienced years of riots, protests, and terrible news, is it any surprise that audiences are rejecting DC’s dark and brooding hero stories for Marvel’s more lighthearted-with-serious-elements movies?

This brings me to the biggest thing I hate: the insane, miserable anti-MCU pro-DCEU apologists. Now, like I said, there’s nothing wrong with being a fan of these movies. Hell, despite my criticisms, I have a great deal of admiration for elements of the franchise, and I enjoyed Suicide Squad a great deal. But the levels some people go to is disgusting and disturbing.

The perfect example is a mutual I used to have. She was really nice and cool for a while, and liked both Marvel and DC. Then Age of Ultron came out. After that, her intelligence went downhill, and she became a rabid hater of the MCU. She would constantly post about how she hated it, while praising the DCEU. She’d reblog tons of posts with asinine criticisms of the MCU and had a sort of smug sense of superiority about her love of the DC films. It came to the point she was outright bashing MCU fans and calling anyone who defended the films, including me, a ‘stan,’ while ignoring and deflecting any criticisms of DC’s movies. She was one of the people who believed Marvel was paying off critics, even pointing to the great reviews Doctor Strange got as evidence (she was convinced the movie was some evil racist mess that whitewashed for the sake of profit, which is so far from the truth it’s laughable). This is ignoring the fact that paying critics off like that would be incredibly counterproductive and would be a waste of money, but at this point critical thinking was not her forte.

And this wasn’t unique to her; the incredibly rabid fans are ALL like that. They all believe the lies about Disney and Marvel bribing critics, they all hop up and down and accuse the MCU of racism, they all screech about how bad Marvel is and how they cram jokes into everything (even though there are only about five movies where this is a big problem). They are all the some kind of person who is smug and condescending and acts like they’re mentally superior for enjoying certain types of people fighting in colorful underwear. They are in the same league of stupid shittiness as anti-bronies and anti-Frozen, and they may honestly be less intelligent than either of those groups. Now, obviously, there are plenty of normal, reasonable people who enjoy or even prefer the DCEU to the MCU. This isn’t something that affects the entire fandom, it’s just the kind of people I’ve had to experience in large numbers.

So, let’s sum up what exactly I hate about the DCEU:

1. Snyder’s piss-poor direction and influence

2. The decision to constantly ape Nolan’s style, despite the fact they don’t seem to get why people liked films like The Dark Knight

3. Rushing in to a cinematic universe with no buildup

4. Questionable casting choices, such as Eisenberg as Luthor and Amber Heard

5. The lack of levity in their first two movies to help offset the crushing darkness

6. The constant pushing of extended cuts better than the theatrical release; they need to just release the full cuts to theaters and stop fucking with director’s visions

7. Speaking of which, the disastrous mangling of Suicide Squad

8. The rabid uber-fans who have a superiority complex and are just childish shitheads

That about sums up the shit I hate about the DCEU. I don’t hate the actual DCEU itself, though I have to admit it’s hard to enjoy aside from Suicide Squad so far (would it have killed them to keep more Leto in and not have the fucking trailer company submit a cut they mashed with the director’s?). What I hate is a lot of artistic choices they’ve put into it, the direction it has gone, and how fucking awful some of the fans can get. I’m hyped as hell for Wonder Woman and cautiously optimistic about Justice League, and I cannot wait to see Affleck’s Batman film and Dwayne Johnson as Black Adam. I just really want the filmmakers to take the criticisms of their works to heart and help make the DCEU a worthy rival for the MCU instead of looking like a cheap bandwagoner like it does now.

We can only hope.