#now my mouth feels numb ;-;
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[PUT INTO PLACE, TIED DOWN AND ARRANGED, AND IS NEVER THE SAME, AGAIN.]<-listen to my favorite songs. VAMPIRES ARE WONDERFUL ARENT THEY. THE FLESH IS SO MUCH MORE DURABLE. SO MUCH STRETCHIER THAN HUMANS. THE STRESS DOESNT KILL A VAMPIRE THE SAME WAY IT DOES A HUMAN. YOU CAN TAKE THEM APART THREAD BY THREAD AND LEAVE THEM WIDE AWAKE WITHOUT WORRY OF THE BRAINMATTER SPOILING UNDER VINEGARY AGONY.
#cw gore#WEEEE WHIPPING OUT ALL MY BELOVED PIXEL HORROR GAME SOUNDTRACKS FOR THIS ONE#STILL A WIP#SORTA. FORKSFORKSFORKS INSPIRED ME TO START WORKIN AT IT AGAIN. AND NOW IT LIVES. IT LIIIVEESS!!!#MOSLT.Y ATLEAST. I MIGHT MESS W IT MORE LATER. WE SHALL SEE. ANYWAY GABRIEL MONTEZ HUH. WOW POOR GUY#THERES A FASCINATING FEELING THAT COMES WITH BEING ON A OPERATING TABLE.AND BEING IN IMMENSE PAIN#ONE OF MY FONDEST MEMORIES IS LAYING ON A DENTIST CHAIR. SHAKING AND INVOLUNTARILY CRYING AFTER MANY MANY#NEEDLES TO MY THE MOUTH. I METABOLIZE THE NUMBING STUFF QUICKLY APPARENTLY. THEY NEEDED ALOT OF NUMBING SHOTS#BUT I WASNT AFRAID OR DISTRESSED. THE DENTIST WAS VERYVERY NICE AND ALSO UH. PRETTY. BUT THATS BESIDE THE POINT#THE POINT IS. THAT IT WAS FASCINATING TO REALIZE MY PHYSICAL RESPONSE TO PAIN UNDER A CONTROLLED ENVIRONMENT#I DIDNT KNOW HOW EASY IT WAS TO SHAKE AND TO CRY PRYVIOUS TO THAT EXPERIENCE.MY DENTAL ADVENTURES CONTINUE#THEY CONTINUE TO HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHAT ITS LIKE FOR PAIN TO BOIL AWAY THE TIME. TO DISTORT THE PASSING HOURS AND CONSUME EVERY THOUGHT#DO YOU REMEMBER PAIN? THE MOST SEVERE PAIN IN YOUR LIFE? NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE RED LIGHTS? RED LIGHTS AND SHIFTING FIGURES#NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE PAIN UNRELENTING.PAIN WORLD SHATTERING.PAIN IMMORTAL.CAN YOU IMAGINE BEING PULLED APART#THE HUMAN MIND CAN ONLY WITHSTAND SO MUCH PAIN BEFORE IT SHUTS DOWN AND HIDES.IT NEEDS TO PROTECT ITSELF AFTERALL. PAIN CAN ALTER#PAIN SHIFTS THE CHEMISTY OF THE MIND OF THE FLESH OF THE SOUL. FOR HUMANS ATLEAST. BUT YOU ARE NO LONGER HUMAN#YOU CHOSE OTHERWISE DIDNT YOU BOY.BECAUSE YOU WANTED MORE.STATUS.POWER.APPROVAL.SECURITY.SAFET.Y.#OHHH YOU CAN WITHSTAND THE PAIN FOR THAT. FOR ALL THAT. YOU WERENT TOLD THERE WOULD BE PAIN BUT YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WERE PROMISED.#ITS ALL WORTH IT IN THE END. NOW LETS JUST HOPE SOME BLONDE TWERP DOESNT PROVE TO BE STRONGER THAN THE STRONGEST PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE#LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. I LOST MY TRAIN O THOUGHT#anyway dawww poorr gabeee that shit probably huuurrrrtttss but so much time has passed that your body got tired of screaming and squirming#why havnt you passed out yet? maybe you might as well have at this point. like sleeping with your eyes open and your nerves awake#OH HEY FUNFACT ABT THE ART. I FOUGHT W IT ALOT. TOOK A LONG WHILE FOR ME TO BE REMOTELY HAPPY W THIS.#i was thinking abt pixel horror video games when i made it.just as i do with all great things ofc ofc#i love you pixel horror game i love yooouuuuu.i struggled so much w the colors for so LONNGG UHGHGHGH but im finally happy...im finally fre
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HELP ANOTHER WISDOM TOOTH IS POPPING OUT IM KILLING MYSELF
#sunflower rambles#yes its almost 2 am yes i should be sleeping#tbh that side of ny teeth always felt numb in random ass moments i knew this would happen#WHY AM I GETTING WISDOM TEETH WANTING TO ESCAPE STOPPPPP#i hated the first time it happened now i have to remove another one????#i can literally feel a small edge of it in my mouth
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How is everyone's Friday morning, I just got home from having all my teeth removed.
#this sounds like your average tumblr post but I'm serious. I have dentures now.#I'm still numb and it feels like I have a size 13 sneaker in my mouth right now.
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i think my dentist fucking drugged me
#he used twice the amount of mouth numbing stuff and i cannot feel anything downwards of my knee#at least i can see now!!#aimee stfu#things that would happen to randy and or henrik part 185737
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me and my roommate just found out we're both slightly allergic to celery bc they came into the dorm complaining about the celery they were snacking on making their mouth numb and I was like "throw it to me" bc I wanted to see if it would make my mouth feel funny too (bc at that point I had no known food allergies) to see if it was smth on them but my tongue started tingling immediately too and then we both looked it up and went "oh shit"
#my tongue is now feeling a lil numb but I can still taste#meanwhile my roommate who ate the celery three hours ago still has a numb mouth#damn#I think it's just raw celery tho bc we both like eating cooked celery and we've never noticed it then
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the dentist’s face when i told her i’ve never been numbed for a filling before. erm are they supposed to ....
#she was like oh was it when you were a kid and i said no... last year... and she was like Oh. Okay#anyway my mouth is numb right now and i can’t stop touching my cheek. it feels so weird...#like my tongue is too big for my mouth 🫠#cammie.txt
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My toofy woofy hurts. My teethy weethy are in pain I'm getting so sick of eating on one side of my mouth I need this supposed infection to please fucking leave my mouth. All I'm eating is rice and bananas right now I want some fucking protein I haven't been able to eat proper since 9/10 or 9/11 I can barely brush my teeth this feels like a root canal that didnt take the moment I got it done and it's not at all making me.confident for the other one I'm scheduled for because it seems like my tooth pain is never going away andnif the other root canal is on the other side of my mouth I'm just straight uo fucked like what will I do because i had a banana i was eating touch that tooth again last night by accident and it hurt so fuckinf bad. I didn't even bite down!! I can't do this anymore
#like I'm trying to be silly funny lol about it but this is affecting my day to day life i keep grabbing the counter when i brush because th#e tooth is so sensitive. i thought there wasnt supposed to be nerves left TO feel after a root canal. man.#ive heard pulling a tooth hurts more but its looking like a valid fucking option right about now.#i know it affects more.of your teeth doing that and can cause them to shift which is a thing my already small overcrowded mouth doesn't need#and it'd probably make me need dentures or something else even quicker (lol!) but man. im not fuckinf strong enough to do this.#ive never jad this level of tooth sensitivity until after this root canal. what did you guys fucking do to my tooth#elias howls#and when i tried telling the Dentist abt it I was brushed off like no!!! i dont think this is normal i wasnt numbed when i bit down on th#e plastic before.#i go in more cavities soon like 4 days and i know im still not gonna be able to have anything even TOUCH that tooth without pain and im#gonna tell them again and tell them its fucking ruining my life bc it is#~2 more days of antibiotics and then those stay in my system for an extra 4 days. both my top and bottom jaw are still sore days later lol!#top from root canal done ages ago now and my bottom from the ''emergancy'' visit i did on my birthday#**** ** **** ** *** * ****** ****** lol
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YOU CAN HIT A TAG LIMIT??? My ramblings in the tags have been conquered and squashed by the 30 tag limit. How silly!
#syncrovoid.txt#delete later#maybe??#ANYWAYS if i continue the story it wouldn't make much sense so i will wrap it up by saying#sleep deprivation isnt actually rhat bad and you really have to work to get bad symptoms#anyways on a totally unrelated note i have to take 2 to 4 times the amount of pain killers or sedatives for the to start impacting me#when my wisdom teeth were removed (rude! they are mine haha!) i was given 3 sedatives and full legal dose laughing gas and i was like.#just there. in the room chilling. they did local anesthetics and i remember that whole thing moreso than the average day!#even though the sedatives were supposedly supposed to make you forget or hazy?#anyways near the end of the surgery my dad is walking in the hallway and opens the door but before he fully came in i was like#“hey dad!!” and waved. but when you are supposed to lay still with your mouth held open by tools and filled with blood you are NOT#supposed to sit up and welcome people in. and because my face was covered it was by the sound of his shoes?#i dont reember that bit as much but my dad told me it after and when i went for the follow up the dentist said he'd never been#jumpscared in such a situation by someone who should've been conked out#after the surgery i got up and the dentist gave me my teeth in a small bag (i kept it as a test to see if my memory would get messed up#since how often does that happen?) and i just walked away. freaked out a bunch of people though and my parents lol#anyways it is a joke for some people i know that i am simply Built Different. i think i am just too silly to contain by mortal rules <-#i joke in a very silly way!! i am soso sleep deprived right now#dhould i be saying any of this? is my typing making sense? my fingers are numb and my brain feels three shades ourple from forest deep teal#time to sleowly pass out and time travel! farewell all ye who read this! i hope ye have wondrous days ahead of you and a lovely life!!!#@:P
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I think one of my wisdom teeth is coming in and like. Can It Not
#like on the one hand heyyyyy girl i was wondering when you’d join the party. but on the other.. this is like the worst time for this#to happen. i haven’t factored dental bills in my budget?? i only go like once a year or less#and i just blew a lot of cash on a kindle and a switch and accessories for both because it is my birthday on wednesday and i feel strange#i have not budgeted for dental surgery!! and ya girl is not eligible for nhs dentistry#also there’s only one in my town and those people rejected me for a job so i cannot go there ever lol#also. like. can we talk about the fact that i’m nearly 27 and my wisdom teeth are only showing up NOW. like. that’s so weird#i know technically they can come in any time up to when you’re 30 or even beyond. but i really thought i was clear when i hit 25ish#also since i was 19 my dentists have been telling me ‘your wisdom teeth are barely there’ like i only have two of them#and they’re not doing anything. until now#i don’t know for certain it’s a wisdom tooth but there is some tomfoolery happening. that side of my mouth feels tender when i eat#on it; especially right behind my back molar. and i thought it was the molar itself so i decided to take a look and see if there was#a cavity; and instead i saw that my gum is really swollen and it looks like something is trying to poke through???#hahaha i hate my life. omg#at least my dentist is really nice and i don’t think he’s gone on a permanent sabbatical right after meeting me; like my previous 2 dentists#did. literally i seem to have a talent for making dentists quit#i think it’s the way i refuse anaesthetic/numbing (because my body is resistant to it) and then i just close my eyes for the duration of the#procedure and look like i’ve fallen asleep#like it’s gotta be fucking unnerving. tallest palest person you’ve ever seen walks in and doesn’t flinch while you drill into her teeth#sans anaesthesia#i don’t even really have a high pain tolerance. i just hate the whole situation with the needle so i refuse it and try to endure#what i’m more worried about than anything is the recovery from surgery. 7-10 days???? wdym#at least i’ll have stuff to do 🤪🤪🤪 maybe i knew something when i bought the devices#oh god i hope i don’t say something stupid while i’m loopy. oh god#personal
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bigass vent over general life things
things in general are really not great i don't really have any optimism for the future or making a life for myself. like i don't really have any drive or ambition to look forward or work towards anything good/meaningful because as time goes on there are going to be really bad life events that i just don't think i can keep facing anymore. and theyre going to be worse. i'm just dragging along life solely on the basis that i was plopped here to just Exist and that's my task at hand that i'm reluctantly upholding. just exist until it's over
#when i say 'i'm 25' 'i'm going to be 26' it does not feel right coming out of my mouth. i do not feel just 25 or 26 i feel far far older#mentally and physically#when i'm around other people my age i just feel on a completely different plane of experience from everyone else#idk. i've always been a naturally anxious and socially stunted person & def have some kind of lingering trauma that keeps me from connectin#w people. but also having no family members or relatives anywhere near my age (~17 yrs older than me at the least) while i was growning up#probably did something to me as well. my entire life has just been witnessing family members decline and die like dominoes over the course#of 25 years. like i know all about end of life care and legal paperwork and shit like that. i know what grief is like and#seeing how it affects people. i know the stages of dread and worry and numbness & guilt-ridden relief that comes with being terrified 24/7#for an ailing family member over the course of years. knowing what it's like to grieve people who arent dead yet but you know it's coming#and then when the inevitable happens it's horrible. but also you're so exhausted from the strain that you're mostly numb. and then you feel#a sense of relief that the worst is over they're not suffering anymore you don't have to dread it anymore. which obviously makes you#question if you're some kind of deranged asshole for feeling that way. idk#25 for me has been a very eye-opening age where i'm fully realizing how fast time passes. i thought i was at around 18-20 but i was really#just first becoming aware of it.#i know how to view the world from that lens bc that's all i know. i only see life as a preparation for the end#instead of a beginning. or at least see it as a beginning at this current point in my life#covid/lockdown has definitely been a source of mental drain on me as well. the constant fear and paranoia of getting sick AND what sort of#long term consequences i could have due to getting it twice. and what i could have if i get it more than twice#add that with the general social and political climate right now and it's just...so very bleak. home life is bleak & outside world is bleak#vent
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Got my wisdom teeth removed finally
Time to feel really weird for the next few days
#dancer rambles#cw surgery#for the next tag#i had to have my bottom ones surgically removed#one was actually laying on its side#but now i'm finally FREEEEEEEEE#also i honestly feel pretty decent despite the numb mouth and ability to talk
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^ top 10 albums that make me feel emotions
#i like to call you on the way home… another precious call to waste on my mouth#like me / hiding in the bleachers / how will i ever learn to drown it out..#..heartbeat / head between the speakers / when did it ever get to be so loud?#i heard youre coming home for Christmas / i bet you barely even missed us#‘but you’re a really fast car to chase’#if you need release in my lap you can fall in / in the backseat of your best friend’s cryin..#..turn that corner watch us grow older we talk about death but its still not over…#tell me how you feel youve been at it for a while now lock that screen dont touch that dial numb that feeling we’ve got another mile#‘yeah in your pocket reach im just currency’#GOT A HEART FOR THE ONES WHO JUST DRIVE YOU AROUND / SINK TIL YOU SWIM AND YOUR MONEY IS GONE..#..I NEED A CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE. ALL THE RIGHT MOVES AND ALL THE RIGHT TIME..#..DONT SAY IT TO MY FACE JUST SAY IT ONLINE. I FIGURED IT OUT I NEED A CHANGE.#‘you spend your daddy’s credit card then complain that money’s hard…. you think you’re funny but you’re not when the look is all you got’#‘i just kept quiet for fear of sounding boring’#‘and im fine to live without you’#SORRY FOR A DUMP OF LURICS BUT UM. GOOD ALBUM YEAH#tobin talks
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What aesthetic is getting trauma at the dentist?
#i am NOT having a good time#they had to numb my mouth 3 times and i still felt them drilling#but the thing is i couldnt feel anything else so i dont even know if it was psychological or physical#i felt something though#this kid next to me was fine and bro was cracking jokes n shit#then right next door is 16 year old me crying and blubbering because the dentist ladies were asking me if i wanted to continue drilling#i feel like a fool and now mums mad at me#i dont even know what im supposed to do now#go to school and suffer i guess#cheerio chatting
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*shreds my lips & cheeks w me teeth* *bleeds* [surprised pikachu]
#stream#like ???????#the DRAMA ??????#i do it w the blisters on my tongue from when i burn ur mouth#i loveeee doing it to blisters bc it’s like yes. remove the feeling of irritation or whatever bc now it’s numb
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Got my wisdom teeth out this morning and now that the anesthesia has worn off: what the hell was that
#irl things#woke up crying then a minute later was laughing then went back to crying and then i was crying and laughing#definitely don't want to do that again#but! surgery went well i guess and i am now down four teeth#excellent#waiting for the numbness to wear off on the lower half of my face now and for the bleeding to stop so i can stop having gauze in my mouth#i wasn't allowed to eat anything this morning and i'm hungry!! but i can't eat with bloody gauze and i can't feel my lower lip or tongue#it's wearing off though which is a bizarre sensation
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i can't even sleeeppppp
#i feel ill and unable to sleep but now i also have a headache and it's killing me#my body is numb. my mouth is burning. head hurts. someone please fucking kill me
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