#now lets do this to elon musk

[x-brik-x]

hi. do not even THINK about trying to make excuses for him. he wasn't "joking". his twitter account is full to the brim with "black people make up 13% of the population but 50% of all crime!!!" and "globalist elites are forming a new world order!!!" type bullshit. it's not a fucking joke. we've seen this coming for years. nazis LOVE plausible deniability. do not give it to them. LET THEM KNOW THAT WE SEE THEM FOR WHAT THEY ARE, AND DO NOT GIVE AN INCH.

oh, and as for your "but it was a roman salute!! it's fine!!"

lol. lmao, even.

[productofaritual]

Dude I'm gonna start doing carpentery or some shit that AI can't physically do because every form of art I get into (drawing, writing, game creation, in that order) AI follows LIKE PLEASE I JUST WANNA BE CREATIVE IN PEACE YOU ASSHOLES

[vimbry-moved]

why is the entire world at the mercy of a handful of egotistical idiots who get to decide how society operates based on their outdated values in the interest of so-called "tradition" and their need to protect their wealth. theyre going to be here about 80 years if they're lucky and they're using that time to do everything they can to strip people's rights and keep them in poverty. I hope hell exists only so they finally face consequences.

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

[butchlifeguard]

my brother being pathetic again haha we love to see it. i feel like we had one week where the threat of our parents wasnt right behind us and we talked normally but now theyre back and hes like 'and ummm... how much money did you make over the summer 😂😂'

[nonbinarycryptic]

HAPPY IDES OF MARCH!

HERE'S A KNIFE FOR YOU, AND A KNIFE FOR YOU, AND A KNIFE FOR YOU, AND A KNIFE FOR YOU, AND A KNIFE FOR YOU, AND A KNIFE FOR YOU, AND A-

[phantomrose96]

With the Reddit 3rd party app crackdown and the ongoing horseshit Elon Musk is pulling with "X", I realize a lot of people here might be pretty new. So I put together a quick and easy guide for using Tumblr for anyone new who might need it.

Tumblr was made by David Karp and we call him Daddy around these parts (^///^)

You are not safe from fandom-gif attacks ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

Speaking of fandoms, the tumblr fandoms are always ready to grab their [object] and go to war against the Beliebers ╰(*°▽°*)╯

The only safe refuge from fandom tumblr is with hipster tumblr. If you can get a cool alt-girl to take you under her wing, you might be safe... for now (●'◡'●)

You will watch the first episode of Supernatural... and then you're part of the Winchester family. (Or if you skip right to season 4, we don't blame you. It's where Destiel starts (*/ω＼*))

This is not a glomp-free zone ☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

Use missing e. It's the only way to make Tumblr useable on Internet Explorer (this is the most popular browser and you're probably using it right now) :-D

Our only adult-supervision is John Green... and even then does that REALLY count as supervision? DFTBA! φ(゜▽゜*)��

Just this once, everyone lives. It's bigger on the inside. Elementary, my dear Watson.

If you see Misha Collins staring at you, the polite response is "Saving people, hunting things, the family business." O.O

I might lose followers for this, but this blog supports gay rights, and yours should too (14 gifs of Sherlock and The Hobbit)

Tumblr will teach you more about the world than you'll ever learn in school. ○( ＾皿＾)っ

Tread carefully... we have teh yaoiz O.o. Oh you don't know what that means? Well let's just say... it's full of lemons here.

If you see Hannibal Lector in a flower crown, tell him it looks very nice. His boyfriend Will Graham made it for him. (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

Do not enter the dog park. The dog park will not harm you.

[the-crumbs-on-my-journal]

okay, sideblog for emo venting for maybe half a degree of anonymity, and like to not flood my main blog with this half coherent rambling.

i feel like i'm not good at being a person. i think immediately in the basic aristotelian terms i'm familiar with. what is a person's function? do i fulfill that function? but i dont mean in a moral sense. i think i am a pretty good person. i have a feeling most people think they are pretty good because they judge themselves by their own standards, and while that does apply to me because i am just another person and because of my awareness of my moral scrupulosity, i also think of how even the people around me emphasize to me the ways they think i am a good person. but i remind myself that i don't mean it in a moral sense. or maybe this is an extension of morality when interpreting aristotelian virtue ethics in this way. i guess i just have a reflex against that because of my established deconstruction against equating ability with morality. this is exactly my argument against my original thesis, for which i haven't even gotten around to explaining my justification, but i think maybe this whole chronologically backwards expository spells out enough of what that would look like, in a forensical way.

i'm not friendly-looking or inviting, i'm not even that comforting. i find it hard to say words of comfort to the people i care about. either i'm not sure i feel them strongly enough to mean anything to other people, or i can't find a way to say them without either miscommunication or making myself vulnerable to psychic attack. i am impatient, and i get snappy when i'm angry. i can see the light at the end of the tunnel now. i make a lot of mistakes even at work, and while i know it's their job to call me out, i feel so overwhelmed with shame after being recognized for my wrongdoings. i'm thinking i haven't fully deconstructed myself from catholicism.

that might be why i followed my thesis statement with evidence that disproves it--i actually believe the opposite, even if i forget that for a moment. my "being a good person" is not a trait that can be measured against criteria. because, which criteria? and why those, how do we know it is those, and not other criteria? and what does it even mean to reach or not reach those criteria? what happens to those people, or what do those people actually accomplish?

and if it is not something that can even be measured, then i don't think it is anything. i don't really buy into this idea of good people and bad people. i have the reflex that some liberal will say "what about hitler?" because in my experience that is the average american's kneejerk version of a litmus test for a moral imperative. but anyway, maybe in a way that actually reinforces this phenomenon rather than challenging or subverting it at all, i check for if i feel like my good faith response to that question would be "yes, this applies to hitler".

as is my nature my mind drags me back to a dreadful conversation in the elective debate club zoom call back in twenty-twenty-covid-nineteen, during which a classmate suggested her argument: hitler was a good leader. i and other classmates immediately tore into her use of "good" and its meaning. anyway, now i'm also thinking: if we all, as good liberal americans in the 21st century, can agree that hitler was a bad person (and i may really be taking this for granted), but apparently we're arguing whether or not he was a good leader, well that seems to mean that the qualities of the ideal leader are in conflict with the qualities of the ideal person. like in sims CAS, certain traits are definitionally opposite each other, so a sim cannot have both traits at the same time. the actual word is mutually exclusive, or a true dichotomy. if ideal leadership is exclusive to ideal personhood, then we must make a judgement as to which ideal to strive for, since, assuming we even are obligated to reaching ideals, and then i remember i actually pride myself on my aspiration toward mediocrity and contentment as opposed to flourishing, although now i'm not sure why exactly, we cannot reach two ideals which are mutually exclusive to each other at the same time, so we could never flourish. and then i'm realizing, i am the problem i need to solve. i need to change myself in order to be rid of my problem, which is things about myself which i can change.

i am in conflict with myself. do i have an obligation to resolve it? well, the conflict is that in one instance i seem to be in support of flourishing--of making a judgement about either pursuing ideal personhood or ideal leadership. in another instance, i seem to be in support of mediocrity--of failing to be convinced that judgements have any meaning or ought to have any impact on actions, when previously i argued vehemently against judging someone as a leader instead of as a person. i think that's it. wait, did i say that i don't think judgements mean anything? that doesn't seem like me, but i think this whole thing started because i don't even know me.

okay, i might be avoiding the question by ruminating in this way, but i don't know for sure because i don't want to spend another second on it. was i ever really ruminating?

it just matters that i want to be here. i can't deny someone else the right to be here if they do or don't measure up to some criteria. criteria i cannot spend enough time deliberating on. criteria that, even if i were passionate about them, wouldn't really mean anything because i alone can't enforce them on others, not that i have an interest in enforcing things upon other people anyway. so i think the whole idea of criteria falls completely apart here. i can't figure them out, and at no cost do i wanna figure them out. so why have them if you spend more time figuring them out than abiding by them? it just matters that i want to be here, so i'm gonna do what it takes to be here even if it gets hard. that's one way to argue myself out of misguided nihilism.

[medicinemane]

I once was talking with my pharmacy manager about... democracy, about how while there's plenty of stupid people in the world we'd all probably prefer didn't vote, that it was very very hard to actually make a line that makes sure only wise people vote while keeping all the idiots out

And I basically said to him "think of all the doctors and pharmacists you know who are smart, well educated people, who you 100% don't think make good choices"

From the look and his face, I'd say that spoke to him (it's incredible how many smart idiots there are in the world, isn't it?)

Anyway, I make that point because it much more addresses the whole concept of... lets call it democracy of the fit

Like it sounds great till you actually take even one second to think about it. It's almost like trying to draw any line in the sand for who it's ok to disenfranchise is not only dumb and ineffective, but also super dangerous. Ah man, I'm sorry, you scored too low on this test which happens behind closed doors and is graded by my political ally... it's not like you disagreeing with me had anything to do with that

(I'd hope we don't even need to touch on why the idea that testosterone levels are a really stupid useless way to decide who gets to vote, cause if that's true then we don't even have to disenfranchise anyone, we can just give out steroids and have the best country in the world... or is it only naturally produced T that makes you a free thinker?)

oh hey just in case anyone who left twitter is wondering how things are going over there

last night elon tweeted a 4chan screenshot (with bonus antisemitic text in the OP image) advocating for only “high status males” in government and the implied repeal of women’s suffrage. Cool cool cool

[artfulstar]

Woah woah woah. Twitter is shutting down in Brasil? I'm thankful for your mental health but what?

Yep.

TLDR: Elon fired everyone in the Brazilian offices of twitter but legally Twitter can't continue existing in Brazil WITHOUT a legal representative. So now our Federal Supreme Court subpoened him to apoint a new representative or the website is getting shut down in the country

The long version with the context about the fight:

It all started when the supreme court started to shut down in the country profiles of brazilian people who had commited crimes using the website (an example is Monark, a dude who literally used his profile to say we should give n*zis and racists unlimited freedom of speech [he fled to the US to escape prison btw]).

Elon caught wind of this and decided to threaten our constitution and said that he would get the profiles back on because he wouldn't accept a government restricting "freedom of speech" on his platform. The supreme court issued a statement that if he did that, he would face a fee everyday for every account reactivated. It was money so he didn't do that (or maybe turns out he couldn't do it anyway and he was just lying for his lil fanboys).

This was all back at the start of the year but suddenly almost two weeks ago it was reported he fired every single employee in the offices of brazil, including the legal representative.

Then tonight, around two hours ago the official profile of STF replied and tagged elon with the doc of the subpoena because since they didn't have a legal representative, they couldn't do it in the proper way. The subpoena says that Elon has 24 hours to appoint a new guy for the job or the social is getting shut down in brazilian territory.

So we have 3 options for whats gonna happen in the next 24 hours:

Alexandre de Moraes (The guy who Elon started a one-sided beef with) backs down and doesnt shut down the website (highly unlikely)

Elon backs down and appoints a new guy so he doesnt lose the 4th biggest public of his site

Twitter gets shut down until Elon's manchild's ego gives in

thats all <3

Edit:

This was Elon's reply to the tweet. YES he is pathetic like that

Edit 2: it's currently 17:38 brasilia time of 30/08 and Twitter is bound to get disconnected soon, the order has been given by Moraes. People who use a VPN to access Twitter will get fined 50k reais (almost 9k dollars).

Yesterday a note was posted lying about Brazil being a dictatorship and saying that one of the people being censored is a 16yr old girl. The truth is that it's a grown ass man that use his daughters account to promote attacks on delegates, ministers, judges and other politicians. They also call orders to ban n*zi accounts "illegal orders" (WHICH ARE VERY LEGAL UNDER THE CONSTITUTION OF BRAZIL). They also say "we don't want every other country to have the freedom of speech laws the US has" meanwhile they've been trying to impose them in a sovereign state.

I would say what I want to say to Elon but unfortunately my mother taught me to keep those kinds of thoughts inside. Just know they're three letters <3

edit 3: twitter was officially unavailable on brazilian territory by the time it struck midnight of the 31st

Edit 4:

Translation: 🚨 NOW: Elon Musk is looking for executives to represent Twitter/X in Brazil, to negotiate the platform's RETURN in the country, reports Correio Braziliense.

he's going to do what cellbit said kkkmk he purposely let them suspend it, then after a few days he'll come out and be the savior of the brazilian people and say he only did it for us

Don't let elon fool you. He doesn't care and is probably only doing it because his investors are threatening him with money

[noveauskull]

Sylus & Zayne As Your Bodyguards [NSFW]

characters: sylus & zayne x reader

warnings: 18+ smut, threesome, reader has implied anger issues, millionaire reader, bratty reader, bodyguards sylus & zayne, nipple sucking, fingering, clit teasing, oral (f! receiving), anal fingering, anal penetration, double penetration (piv), no protection, overstimulation

-----

"Bring me your expensive one" You sighed, sitting yourself onto the stools in the store, your bodyguards both standing on each of your side. Holding all the bags that had every product you bought.

The shop was empty with only employees standing in a straight line with their hands clasped together in front of their waists, sweat visibly dripping from their foreheads as they watched you cross your legs. You weren't in a good mood today.

No one in the world doesn't know you. You might as well be considered as the next Elon Musk. A young woman that is a wealthy self made millionaire, teenagers want to be you and women want to be with you.

Your success skyrockets everytime, even a step into a country has the charts doing zig zags, you can't lie when you say you love the attention and wealth you have. The past you would've wanted to be the current you as soon as possible.

Because of your dangerous status, you needed to have bodyguards by your side. It was clear to the press or anyone of the matter that you always had two of your favorite bodyguards by your side.

Their names were Sylus and Zayne.

The two men are quite talented in what they do, one would be extremely patient with you while the other would advise you on what not to do and what you should do. A perfect duo, almost like ying and yang.

Today you were shopping in China. At this point you've step foot on every shop there is in the mall, the one you're currently at probably being your 100th one. Specifically selling shoes.

"Ma'am, it's getting late soon. Shall we head home after this?" Your bodyguard, Zayne said in a monotone yet reminding voice, you glanced at the gold watch on your wrist with a furrowed brow.

"I still haven't gotten everything out of my system" You grumbled. This wouldn't have happened if the person you were going to meet today hadn't cancelled the date on you earlier.

You were supposed to meet a millionaire like you on a date in China, and yet that no good of a man ditched you last minute. You're literally worth more than him, how dare he leave you in the dust like you're nobody.

"Here is our limited edition shoes, Ma'am. A collaboration with the two best shoe companies in Ch-"

"Forget it. I'm not interested" You held your hand up to cut off the employee before standing up. Grabbing your purse in the process before walking- or rather, storming off.

Everyone knew that once you were angry about something, it sticks for quite a while.

As you walked out of the mall, you waited for Sylus to open the car door for you as you sat yourself in the back passenger seat, then he sat himself at the front while Zayne took the drivers seat.

You took out your phone before dialing a certain number, the car started with absolute silence as you held the device close to your ear, waiting for the person on the other line to pickup the call.

"Yes Ma'am-"

"Cancel everything with that man! And let it be known that I will sue him if he does not return all my gifts within the next 12 hours! I don't care if he isn't in the country just do it NOW!!"

You yelled, almost letting out a growl by how enraged you were.

Despite being a millionaire that everyone looks up to, there was a side of you no one, including the press, knows about.

You had extreme anger issues.

"You know what? I want a hitman"

You suddenly said, not noticing the looks you were getting from your bodyguards in front of you through the glass mirror in between the front of the car, debating on whether they should calm you down at the moment.

"M-Ma'am please calm down-"

Big mistake.

"Calm down? You want me to calm down???" You repeated, not realising the grip on your purse had already caused a crack on the tiny mirror you had inside it.

"Okay. I'll calm down" You said sweetly, but you weren't smiling.

"But you're fired."

With one press, you hung up. Refraining yourself from throwing your phone at the floor. At the same time, you had already reached your hotel, and Sylus had already opened the car door for you to walk out.

You stomped out the car, if you were ever reminded you should praise the company that made your heels, because they were able to withstand any pressure you put on them.

When you finally reached into the elevator, you tapped your foot continuously with crossed arms as Zayne pressed on the number of your floor, the silence was completely filled in with the continuous taps.

In a ding you reached your floor, and you walked out almost immediately, you stood in front of your room door before taking out your card and pressing it onto the scanner to unlock it.

Almost like an instinct, you ran onto the sofa and dropped your body, removing your heels and jacket off while your two bodyguards stood beside you in silence.

"Get me a drink" You ordered, right now you needed something to remove that fog that was clouding your head, and a drink would suffice.

"I don't think that will be a good idea, Ma'am. You still have an appointment to go to early in the morning" Sylus said, he had a straight face on as he told you this.

"Are you going against my orders?" You tilted your head to look at him, flashing him a look that would've threatened his job.

"No. I'm just suggesting something better" He answered, you could almost see a smirk forming in his lips as Zayne stood beside him with a straight face.

"And what's that?"

Suddenly, you were pushed onto the bed. You used your arms to hold yourself up as you watched your two bodyguards loosened their ties in front of you, this was the first time behaving this way, and yet you were intrigued.

Did they finally catch on you having the hots for them?

Your thoughts were interrupted when Zayne crawled himself onto you, planting a kiss onto your lips in a few smooches, before putting a hand to your cheek and leaning in for a deeper kiss.

Like an instinct, you kissed him back hungrily. You had no idea you were so starved for touch until now.

You watched as Sylus went beside Zayne, lifting up your shirt to remove it. Zayne released his lips from yours to let Sylus remove your shirt before kissing your again.

At the same time you felt Sylus unclasp your strapless bra, removing it off your body before sucking on your right nipple, making your breathe hitch against Zayne's lips.

Unexpectingly, Zayne had removed his lips from yours once again, now he was doing the same thing as Sylus, and he also began sucking on your left nipple. Now you had both men teasing your nipples with their mouths while your mouth let out shameless tiny moans, holding back from creating any noise.

You felt Sylus' hands move to your pants, pulling them down along with your underwear. Now you were completely naked while all they had removed was their ties, a little bit embarrassing, but you won't let the night finish unless they were completely naked with you.

Without realising, you already had a pool of arousal around your cunt, possibly leaving a string of it when Sylus removed your underwear. You had no idea you were this pent up.

Zayne's hands also began working, his fingers circled itself around your wet and sticky hole, almost building up the anticipation that he will put them in, but instead he just curls up enough of your slick and moves upwards to your clit, rubbing the wetness onto it.

"Eep-!"

You instictively twitched and the sudden contact of his gentle fingers on your clit, the wetness making his strokes on your clit more smoother. You could feel your hole clenching to push out more of your juices when he did that.

Sylus seeing how much you enjoyed having your clit played with wanted to participate as well, so he used the same hands that pulled your clothes off to circle around your hole like how Zayne did earlier, except this time, he slipped his finger inside with a squelch.

A loud moan left your lips when you felt Sylus' thick finger push into your twitching hole, satisfying the need of something to plug you up before anymore juices had left your body.

Not even a minute later he gave a few thrusts into your hole before adding two more fingers inside, now three fingers were gushing in and out of your hole, all while Zayne was teasing your clit and you had your nipples sucked on by the two men.

You couldn't help but roll your eyes back, laying your head against the bed headboard as you let the two men monopolize your body, letting every slurp of your nipples and every squelch of your cunt fill up the room's silence.

Had you knew the two were this skilled in bed you would have cancelled the stupid dates you've had with multiple men beforehand. It hadn't even felt like 30 minutes had passed by yet you already felt like you were going to cum, and you didn't bother holding yourself back.

You unconciously moaned louder with each thrust, feeling your hole clench around Sylus' fingers uncontrollably while Zayne's fingers kept on egging on your orgasm through your clit, in no time making you come undone when your orgasm arrived.

"A-Ah!!"

You held onto the backs of the two men for support as your cunt twitched under their fingers, you would've reached down to grab their wrists and stop them from moving whilst you were coming, but their faces on your tits were in the way.

Once they rode out your orgasm, the two removed their lips from your breasts with a pop. Now your nipples were sensitive, wet and swollen from how long and harsh they've been sucking on it, your areolas look puffy and red.

Without any warning, Sylus suddenly switched the positions between you and him. Now you were hovering on top of him while he was sitting below you, like how Zayne was kissing you earlier, he took the chance to kiss you as well.

Compared to Zayne's gentle and yearning kiss, Sylus' was more aggressive and hungry. You didn't notice that your cum was dripping onto his crotch since you were hovering over him, until you felt Zayne's hand rub itself onto your wet hole.

You didn't say anything and only focused on the kiss for the time being, your cunt did feel a bit sensitive from the fingering and orgasm, but you could handle another one.

Then you felt his hand slowly move upwards towards the other you had, rubbing it up and down in a swift moment that made your eyes wide open and break the kiss from you and Sylus.

"Hey! What are you doing?!" You yelled, turning your head to glare at Zayne who only locked in his eyes with yours, though you didn't expect to see him blushing with his ice cold face.

"It's alright, I know how to make it feel good" He said calmly, almost like he was in daze before he continued to rub his wet and sticky hands onto your anus, teasing the action that he will out in a finger soon.

Maybe it's because you were getting lost in the moment, but you let him continue on what he was doing, trusting him that he would do as he said and make you feel good as you waited for him to put in the first finger.

Sylus watching your eyes glued onto what Zayne was doing behind you probably felt a little jealous, because then he slowly slid himself down and forced your soaking cunt to meet with his face.

"S-Sylus!" You called out to the white haired man, who only smirked at you.

You felt yourself getting a little angry at his sudden smug personality until you were caught off guard by his lips locking in with your clit, since Zayne took the time to tease your hole while Sylus was kissing you the sensitivity you had earlier recovered, but it still brought a shiver to your spine when you felt his warm mouth on your cunt.

You were going to let out a whimper at Sylus' naughty approach until you felt a finger enter inside you at a hole you don't usually take in, making you let out a desperate moan and unconciously rub your cunt onto Sylus' mouth.

While Sylus worked his tongue onto your clit with each flick and suck, Zayne was thrusting a finger in and out of your hole, almost controlling your hips to move front and back to force you into taking the friction and have you moan uncontrollably.

The feeling of Sylus' tongue flicking around your clit then licking down to your hole and letting your clit touch his nose almost drove you insane, and the pressure of Zayne adding another finger inside you wasn't helpful either, the mix of discomfort and pleasure almost made your eyes roll back once again.

You couldn't help but continue to moan at the pleasures of having your holes played with, the more you leaked your juices the more Sylus would swallow it all down his throat and into his stomach, sticking his tongue out almost like he would swallow you whole if he wanted to.

Zayne made it clear that your hole was ready when you noticed how easily his fingers could suddenly move inside you, feeling each time his fingers would stretch your hole open to ensure it wouldn't be too tight to cause any displeasure, you almost felt embarrassed once again when you realised just what you were letting your bodyguards do to you.

Distracted by the overwhelming feeling of cumming again, Zayne continued to thrust his slender fingers in and out of you while Sylus worked hard to make you cum from your clit once again, like before, you felt a knot tie itself onto your stomach as your moans gradually became louder, indicating your orgasm was coming again.

You clenched your legs around Sylus' head, hands gripping onto the headboard for support as you stuck your ass out without even realizing to feel Zayne's fingers pound into the same direction where your orgasm was pooling in.

Before you could even react, your eyes lost it's focus before rolling to the back of your head, and your mouth hung itself wide open to let out the nasty noises you've been trying so hard to suppress.

You shamelessly let your body twitch onto Sylus' face, letting him lap his tongue all over your hole while you were still cumming until you finally calmed down.

Zayne removed his fingers from your hole to let it twitch around the air by its own before unzipping his pants to finally let his hard cock out, Sylus sitting up to wipe his mouth with his thumb and lick off any excess cum before doing the same with his zipper.

You watched as Zayne picked you up and made your front face him while your back face Sylus. Before you could even process your second orgasm, Zayne had already aligned his dick into your hole and pushed it inside, making your hole clamp onto his dick so hard from the unexpected greeting, as well as having another stimulating feeling onto your lower region for the 3rd time.

You let out a broken moan when you felt Sylus do the same to your ass, pushing his dick in slowly yet easily until your hole was completely filled in with his cock, making you have tears growing in your eyes from the pain and pleasure.

"W-Wai-"

Before you could even tell the two to give you a moment, they gave you one big thrust in unison. The movement caught you off guard so hard you could barely make a noise, your mouth was stuck open waiting to let out even a small croak, yet only the sound of both your wet holes filled in the silence.

You helplessly wrapped your arms around Zayne's neck and took in the hungry thrusts Sylus and Zayne were making you take, your sensitive nipples brushing against Zayne's shirt as he gave your neck tiny kisses.

Sylus' dick would've probably been too much to bare alone, but thanks to Zayne's dick hitting all the right spots in you, the discomfort Sylus was plunging into you only enhanced your pleasure to the point you were drooling and whimpering onto Zayne's neck.

What felt like almost an hour, you still continued to take in the thrusts of the two men inside you helplessly. Your moans now sounding like broken squeaks, at this point you've already came 5 times now.

You thought it was never going to end with these two, but then you felt their dicks twitch inside your soaking wet holes, the mushy feeling of your insides tighted up to force them to cum inside you as deep as they could, and that's what they did.

In the past 2 hours, they finally let out their first ejaculations. Filling your holes up to the point you could feel it moving inside you, a satisfied and relieved moan leaves your lips as you hear them groan together from your impressive hooks onto your holes.

The two didn't remove their dicks out of you yet, instead, while they were inside you, Zayne laid you down onto the pillows while doing the same with Sylus, now the three of you were laying together with you facing Zayne and Sylus behind you.

You thought they were going to let you sleep with their cocks inside you, until you felt a hand grip your thigh and lift it up, giving the two more access to move their hips freely, which made your eyes widen.

"Ma'am..." Zayne called out for you, his eyes looking as if they were deep in lust and daze while Sylus smirked behind you, both men blushing aggressively.

"Let's do one more round, please"

It seemed like the two men weren't going to stop at one round. You better hope you can still walk after tonight.

-----

A/N: I SAID I WILL DELIVER YOU ZAYNE AND SYLUS SMUT AND WHAT DID I DO?

DELIVERED IT!!

this waaaasss supposed to be an omegaverse where reader was in heat and Sylus and Zayne were alpha bodyguards (idea inspired by sakimenz on insta with Gojo and Geto) but then I realised im not into omegaverse stories as much as I thought i was (unfortunately)

BUT i hope this was a way more better approach then what I intended!!

p.s.

how i imagined reader in this oneshot SHSHHAHA

EDIT: if this post gets 1k notes in the next 2 to 3 days i'll make a oneshot of Sylus and Zayne as reader's sugar daddies cause im unstoppable ✨️😋

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Mothers day Meltdown

[mysterious circle of robed figures] JK Rowling: hello children Rowling: I was just thinking about how transs people should be eliminated from ssociety Jonathan Chait: whoa whoa whoa! joanne! Chait: you can't say it like THAT Chait: so uncouth Chait: you have to say it with your pinky finger extended

Elon Musk: si! issa no good! Musk: issa too mucha trans genocide Musk: you shoulda only post the right amount offa da trans geocide Musk: lookita me, i lika da trans genocide Musk: but i also like many other genocides Rowling: oh MY GOD Rowling: my empire is crumbling!

Chait: we're not saying you can't still be transphobic Chait: you just have to, you know, cool it a bit Chait: be genteel about it Jesse Singal: mommy mommy i have concerns mommy! Chait: see? just like that

Chait: maybe put a little disclaimer Chait: "this transphobia is for entertainment purposes only" Rowling: do you not know who I am?? I'm JK Rowling! Rowling: JK FUCKING ROWLING!!! Rowling: I MADE YOUR CHILDHOOD MAGICAL!

Rowling: no one tellss me to cool it! Rowling: i own the courtss! Chait: joanne Rowling: and another thing!!! Rowling: SSTOP CALLING ME JOANNE!

[midnight society] JK Rowling: hello children Barker: oh look who it is Barker: what are you doing here joanne? Barker: did your terfs tell you to cool it again? Rowling: Rowling: why doess everyone call me joanne

Rowling: i'm extremely mad about thiss transs football referee Barker: what? Rowling: this transs football referee Barker: Barker: what?

Rowling: there's a transs football referee and i'm really mad about it! Rowling: what, haven't you heard? Barker: joanne, why are you here Rowling: and another thing! Rowling: sstop calling me joanne!!

Rowling: people are alwayss all "joanne this" and joanne that! Rowling: wah wah wah joanne joanne joanne! Barker: do you not like your name Barker: you could change it Poe: clive Poe: just let her tire herself out Barker: no no I've got something here

Rowling: people are alwayss "oh wah wah wah joanne, how can you ssay that! your bookss are all about tolerance and love wah wah wah!" Rowling: bitch i think i know what my booksss are about! Rowling: i fuckin wrote them after all!

Rowling: blah blah blah ohh joanne Rowling: i hate when people call me joanne!! Rowling: they should fear to say my true name! Barker: oh damn look at that Barker: looks like we're having a good ol' fashioned mothers day meltdown Poe: clive don't encourage this

King: but joanne! how can you say that? King: after all the lessons of harry potter? King: you made our childhoods magical!

Rowling: people are all "blah blah blah joanne how can you like naziss now when you ssaid they were bad in harry potter" Rowling: first of all, harry potter iss fiction! Rowling: secondly, the death eaters are actually a ssinister coalition of evil transs, sspooniess, fat people, free masonss, and diane duane Rowling: always have been! Rowling: thiss iss NOT a retcon!

Rowling: that sshould be obviouss if you've read the book Rowling: UNLESSS Rowling: you're a fake potterhead, ssteve King: no of course not! i love harry potter

Rowling: DO YOU Rowling: perhaps then Rowling: you would be willing to take a blood oath to the dark lord Rowling: to belong to the dark lord body and ssoul Rowling: who is always correct King: i uh don't think i'm going to take that oath, sorry Rowling: UGH! Rowling: this is just like Radcliffe all over again!

[tinystepsforward]

What do you think the chances are that Mud Pit is gonna be ousted by the people who need Automattic to have good will in the eyes of the community to actually get anything out of this site and wattpad

I know it’s probably low but the fact that he’s acting like a poorer Elon Musk is making my skin crawl and making me hope that a second lawsuit hits the company

ok here's the thing. he is meant to be on sabbatical. automattic gives employees a three-month paid sabbatical every 5 years, so that they can have a break from the product they work on and come back rested and with a new perspective.

matt has never taken one before now. he spent the entire leadup to his sabbatical posting increasingly wild shit in public channels at the company (like the chess thing, or trying to get people to buy a friend's product, or the entire fracas with taking over the wordpress.org twitter account. wordpress.org is an independent non-profit that he is not the ceo of).

i mention this because people were hoping (including me) that he really would actually log off, have a chill time (or, idk, whatever kind of time CEOs who go off the grid bc they got flooded in at burning man like to have), and let the interim CEO get a chance to do a better job. that would help the board make a decision based on data.

he was very clearly spiraling before he even left, and then within the first few days of Company Sanctioned Log Off Time he's pulled multiple Classic Matt things on multiple parts of the company before showing up here. this whole thing is so deeply unfunny but it also is a bit of a tom and jerry or looney tunes bit, where i can only imagine HR or Legal is chasing him around the various accounts/platforms with a comically large inflatable baseball bat and he's just evading them.

he can't do that in person, but he still gets a lot of leeway generally. at the last division meetup (irl meeting for employees, flown from all over the world) he showed up twitchy and exhausted and hyped in a way that was very familiar to me from flatmates who used to steal and snort my adhd medication, then proceeded to drink so much over the course of an evening answering questions from his employees that he had to be firmly babysat off the stage and walked back into the lobby of the hotel to sober up.

i made eye contact with him that night, before he dropped his head back into his hands. two people relatively high up in the company were sitting with him, silently watching him as he struggled to sober up. it wasn't the first drunk shenanigan of his i witnessed at one of these, and this is purely opinion but i have to assume that his current behavior is the result of suddenly having time on his hands to have the world's longest bender and post through it.

back to your question: i do not know if what he's done is enough to get the board to remove him. i wish it didn't have to come to this to hope that they will. but we'll find out.

[wilwheaton]

According to a deep dive into how House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA) managed to get most of his caucus and Donald Trump to agree on a budget package that kept the government working until March, the Washington Post is reporting that Johnson "blindsided" the president-elect by also negotiating with Democrats. That, in turn, led Trump to prompt billionaire adviser Elon Musk to launch a war on the House leadership in a flurry of attacks on X that derailed the proposed deal at the time.

'Blindsided' and 'furious' Trump turned Elon Musk loose on House leadership: insider

This is hilarious.

There is no way Trump instructed Leon to do anything, and anyone who has been paying attention to Trump for more than four seconds knows this.

This is a transparent effort by Trump’s Haigrographers to shape a story that is deeply humiliating to him, because it exposes how weak and pathetic he is.

“Yeah, that thing Leon did that blew everything up and was deeply humiliating to me? I did that! It was me! I sent him!” *fills diapers again* “I did it! Now let’s stare into the middle distance for 25 minutes while I continue shitting myself.”

[mollyjimbly]

🚨🚨🚨RED ALERT🚨🚨🚨

if you care about trans folks please take a few minutes to read through this post and share.

They are not even trying to hide their true intentions with KOSA...

"Top of the agenda is to go after providers of gender affirming care, including for adults. The FTC could also go after online platforms for displaying LGBTQ content which would be supercharged under KOSA."

This is catastrophically bad.

There is a HUGE push to pass KOSA rn at the end of the year.

Real quick summary: Blumenthal and Blackburn "rewrote" KOSA to appeal to the right more. They worked with ELON MUSK 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♂️ to push this bill "protecting kids". Tomorrow, many orgs are bringing groups of parents to speak to congress. This is coming at a time when FTC commissioner admitted their agenda is straight transphobia:

There are two ways KOSA can be passed right now. Either from the House or attaching it to an end of year spending bill. They will try both.

Republican leadership (Scalise and Johnson) are surprisingly what is stopping thia from going through. They wont admit it out loud but they dont like the bill.

WE NEED TO PUSH BACK NOW!! Tomorrow those phones need to be ringing OFF THE HOOK while they meet with parents.

PLEASE SPREAD THIS EVERYWHERE!! ADD THESE LINKS TO TWITTER, REDDIT, INSTA, TIKTOK!!

USE THESE CALLING TOOLS AND SCRIPTS TODAY AND TOMORROW ALL DAY!!!

SCRIPTS:

🔴 If your rep is GOP:

"I am urging you to VOTE NO on KOSA, the Kid’s Online Safety Act. This is a dangerous bill that will harm children.

Many news organizations have reported that this bill actively harms kids by exposing their private data to strangers under the guise of protecting them.

We need to hold Big Tech accountable, but KOSA is not the solution.

The bill let any state attorney general and the FTC to sue any website for “harmful” content. Do we really want blue state lawyers deciding what can and can’t be allowed online?

Big Tech is already censoring us. That’s why they support KOSA. This is massive government overreach. We need a bill that actually protects children by creating better security measures instead of bringing about more censorship.

Multiple experts agree this bill pushes age verification, even with the new language.

KOSA hands more private data of children to third party companies, which would put them in further danger. How is this protecting children’s privacy?

What parent would want their child’s private data in the hands of strangers like this? KOSA is actively putting kids in danger.

Do NOT support this bill. Thank you."

Also,to note, Biden supports KOSA: You could try asking your GOP rep why they would support a bill that has Biden's support,and that he could use it to his advantage somehow (we know GOP does not like Biden,so it should be utilized somehow). We need to ensure the bill doesnt pass at all.

🔵 if your rep is DEM:

"I am urging you to VOTE NO on KOSA. Nearly 200 human rights and LGBT organizations total came out in an open letter opposing it. The ACLU is against it. Hundreds of thousands of Gen Z, who actually live online, are against it.

We know the harms of social media, and we know this is not the solution. The new language does NOT meet any concerns brought up, in fact many organizations were ignored.

Major news have reported that this bill actively harms kids. We do not want this. The rewritten bill would still allow any state attorney general, and now the FTC, to sue any website for “harmful” content. When you have Republicans calling anything LGBT “sexual exploitation” or anything about race “CRT” to successfully ban books and teachers, then they will use any justification to censor the internet.

The Missouri attorney general used “mental health” successfully to ban gender-affirming care with backed up research. Suicide rates will skyrocket for marginalized youth with this bill restricting content. Multiple experts agree this bill pushes age verification, even with the new language.

KOSA hands more private data of children to third party companies. Furthermore, updated language threatens encryption the same way the Earn It Act does.

How is this protecting children’s privacy? KOSA actively harms kids. Do NOT support this bill. Thank you."

Tell them you'll vote for your reps if they vote no on KOSA, anything goes. But most importantly it's crucial that KOSA is not being brought at all for any vote.

Thank you, remember to stay calm and stay strong. We've got this!! ♡