#now it's a reasonable amount of time and probably less than 30 seconds honestly

[dravidious]

My Firefox at some point developed an issue where after a computer restart it would take like 10 minutes to start working. Like I would open it and it would open and be able to do some stuff, but trying to go to any webpage just would not happen until like 10 minutes later and then it'd be fine. A similar thing would happen if I closed it, opened some other program like a game, and then opened Firefox again, though not as extreme. I figured it was doing something like loading a bunch of stuff into RAM maybe? And then opening another program would overwrite the RAM so it would have to do it again? idk what exactly was happening. I tried clearing my browsing history to see if that would help and it didn't, and I didn't want to mess with the cookies, so I just gave up and accepted it.

Then, when I was working on an HTML game with a save system, I needed to track down where the files were getting saved, and I found the "default" storage folder which had ~2.5 GB of data in it, including ~1.5 GB of tumblr cache data. I skimmed through the 500+ folders and deleted everything that didn't seem important (why does random.org need to store data on my computer?). It took a long time, but I eventually deleted like 90% of the folders and got it down to 200 MB. It was mostly just out of anger at the wasted space; why are all these sites that I've visited once to read an article storing crap on my computer!? Probably just for advertisement tracking and garbage like that. But I was hoping that maybe, just maybe, this was what was taking Firefox so long to load.

After I booted up my computer this morning, it took Firefox 30 seconds to open tumblr.

[ellabssucker]

now that i stopped crying... arcane season 2 act II spoilers.

uhm, first off, what. the. fuck.

not even 30 minutes into rhe first episode, BOOM maddie and cait hooking up?? maddie is actually such a sweet, caring girl and i feel so bad for her. she probably spent an unreasonable amount of breath and time trying to change cait's mind when vi was able to in a second. that whole ordeal aside, we are FINALLY (actually it was pretty quick) cait's 'redemption'. or at least she's less blinded by rage now. i mean, she stood in a room with jinx and let her and vi have a family moment with vander instead of trying to blow her brains out. which i think it's progress. i liked cait so much better in this act and THE TENSION WITH VI?!? i just know we are getting sesbian lex on the third act on that one agreement scene.

then seeing jinx actually healthy and relatively sane actually HEALED my heart. i relate to jinx in a way I can't put into words, and she's really important to me, so seeing the positive impact isha had on her was really main focus this act.

which leads to my least favorite part. isha's death. i have a lot to say about it, but i genuinely can't without crying and my head already hurts. she was so important to jinx and I'm scared for how she's gonna deal with isha being gone (which I'm still holding hope for that to not be true). but aside how important isha was for jinx and how she became a part of the family, isha was just a kid. I'm not sure how old she was, and we don't see much of how her lofe was before jinx, but i can confidently say the probably few times in her life she felt safe were around jinx. it hurts to know that little girl probably went through so much, and in such a short time, she was able to build such a strong bond with jinx which lead to her sacrificing herself for her. the look on her face as she tan towards vander almost looked relieved that she could do this for jinx, after jinx did so much to protect her. we saw from early one isha would do anything to protect jinx as well, because she was all the family isha had. the kid deserved better. I really hope she makes a comeback, like we've seen multiple characters in this show do. i really hope she's okay. i won't get over the fact they found a family in each other and i think this is gonna affect jinx greatly. as for how, i think it's gonna be positive. as in, she's gonna use her destructiveness for good rather than bad, cause i genuinely think isha made jinx a better person. i think she brought powder back, but with all the good qualities jinx has.

moving on (lie) to vander, that man just can't catch a break. he deserves better. the writers are inflicting unnecessary pain fr. he finally got his daughters back (plus one) and was on his way to healing and returning to his human self. if only it wasn't for JAYCE.

this bitch ass motherfucker is clearly going through some kind of psychosis but WHAT THE FUCK JAYCE. jayce when i catch you jayce. honestly i don't know what happened to him during that time he was gone on the hex, but i can't get through my head that he would just kill viktor like that, especially knowing what would happen to all the people he healed. but for isha and vander, I really can't sympathize right now. i always found jayce to be self-absorbed and changed his mind every two seconds. he fucked up. he ruined a family. we waited 3 years for this only for this bitch to come and we lost not only viktor, but isha and vander under 10 minutes.

also, where the fuck is ekko?!

i also can't get over the fact that ambessa won't change. even after everything that's happened, she's still manipulating, hurting and killing, risking other people's lives and bribbing people to get her ways and cause even more damage. and talk about 'sacrife'. all she does is sacrifice other people, including her own daughter and son, for her own thirst of blood and selfish reasons. we've been shown time and time again, she is not a good mother, or a good person, or a good leader, and she does not think about anyone but herself.

also stop fucking with mel's head, like messing with her brother? that's fucked up.

i really liked the visual, colors, and music of this act. i think I've never cried harder but also tried to appreciate the cinematography at the same time (which is really hard by the way). i feel like is jinx all over the place, but also still has that touch of the arcane, i feel nostalgic when something reminds me of how the aesthetic was on the first season. it's different for sure, but the feelings are still there. maybe it's just cause it feels like home but i can still see what it used to be on what it is now.

it's a masterpiece. i loved it. it fucking ruined me.

[sirensplayhouse]

hii it’s ‘🪦’ anon. i wanted to come back for a quick second and share some stuff. recently, i’ve manifested so much stuff since i first sent an ask and even before that with only being in this year for two months.

month of janurary in order:

- my parents divorce being over after years (everything working out how we planned). this was also the reason i had got into LOA all those years ago, so i did cry for like a day straight, it was really my wakeup call.

- 2 week vacation to my favorite tropical area for the month of feburary (i just got back from traveling and i enjoyed myself sm)

- i tapped into the void state about two times that month as well. i affirmed for always being aware of when i’m in it.

- a healthier relationship with my family. the past few years i did struggle with feeling close with them but we’ve grown so much in a short amount of time now.

- 300 dollars worth of clothes + a skims dress (the package was gonna be way more and i had already spent a lot of money for the vacation in advance)

- three new pairs of desired shoes

- this was random but, my mom always gives me money monthly to spend freely or to save but i had already gotten that months worth. so i was like my mom is gonna give me more money, not even 30 minutes later she’s asking how much i wanted?? 😭😭

month of feburary in order:

- over the years my family has definitely gotten more lenient especially since i’m damn near grown LMAO but it feels nice to do stuff without feeling like there’s going to be consequences, so i manifested for my family to be more lenient with my desired things.

- to get rid of my cold/flu a few days before vacation. i had gotten “sick” (like a common cough and runny nose) from a family member. i haven’t been sick in years so i was genuinely pissed about it. i affirmed one night when i was sleepy to wakeup without the sickness, and when i woke-up it was gone.

- my sister got paid earlier than she expected. and the amount was a few more thousands than she normally would get. it was funny when she came to tell me because she always has to make a joke out of everything. 😭

- my mothers approval for more piercings and maybe even a tattoo? (probably not, i’d def pussy out LMDAOO)

- so this was the biggest one besides the divorce but we got offers for two homes. the same homes that we looked at years ago and it honestly freaked me out. i genuinely did want to move again so i could be closer to my friends house to hangout more (we both met through LOA about three years ago and just so happened to live almost an hour away). i glanced at both house listings online after talking to her and i believed that i was gonna move. NEXT DAY, MY MOM AND SISTER GOT TWO CALLS BACK TO BACK. so now we’re moving into both homes because of something that happened 😭 it’s not bad but it was funny. i’ll be there in less than a week so i’m excited!

- another thing that happened was earlier this month. i tapped into the void for fun through this guided hypnosis video post made by gorgeouslypink and i was curious. i didn’t have any intent on manifesting anything there nor did i actually think i was gonna go through with it. i laid down right after and i tapped into it immediately while following the last speaking. personally, i don’t feel the need for the void because at the end of the day, ts is a deep meditative state inside of me. manifesting in the void is instant, and so is manifesting any other way. i also texted my friend right before and after. she thought i was gonna do it another day by u disappeared for like an hour or two and she was shocked. i was gonna send proof of everything but idk how to do this shit through anon but changing the font tbh this is sad.

all of the stuff that i mentioned within these two past months were all manifested without using the void. i hope that this can bring more positivity and enthusiasm for a lot of people who’ll see this post. ofc you can use the void but realize your power, it all starts with you and ends with you. don’t forget that you promised yourself these things so give them to yourself. sending love 💓 i’ll check back in monthly probably bc this is fun sharing my experiences and using the pink font color 💟 see you next time!

babes……. HELLO YOU DID THAT🥺i’m so proud and happy for you ! 🫶🏾 you’re only gonna get better and better and i can’t wait🥰i hope you enjoy all you’ve manifested 🕺🏾and have an absolute ball

[weaselle]

cooking for people who have no idea what they are doing (or are just, like, real depressed)

Okay, I’m a professional cook, but also, I get depressed. This is the cooking I do when I’m depressed, because I need the simplest path to a whole meal.

This is not for vegetarians, because, while I wholeheartedly support people choosing vegetarianism, and also enjoy cooking for vegetarians, for me, the simplest path to a meal includes meat. Perhaps when I am less depressed I will work on options.

A lot of recipes focus on achieving food that is in some way special, using special techniques, or using a precise list of carefully measured high-end ingredients... and that’s not this, this is all the parts of cooking that are not those things.

First, shopping

Meats Starches Veggies Sauces Breakfast/Snack

For a whole week you’re going to want

3 kinds of meat, with five portions each. So, for example, five chicken breasts, 10 sausage links, and 2-3 pounds of ground beef. Other possibilities include pork chops, salmon, some kind of steak, whatever. 

You’re going to want up to 3 starches. Honestly I usually stick to just rice, but you can go with rice, potatoes, and pasta. If you want to use quinoa or polenta or something, thats on you.

And, you’re going to want about 3 types of vegetables, again, about 5 portions each -- and try to stay green. So personally, I usually get 5 medium zucchini, 2 medium heads of broccoli, and then either yellow squash or mushrooms. A bag of salad greens is also a good option, and I have an easy way to make a good salad, which I will do as a separate post.

Next pick something easy that works as either breakfast or a snack. For me this is a loaf of bread, a jar of peanut butter, and a bunch of bananas. Sometimes it’s nice to have an additional option here, like cereal or yogurt. 

Last, you’ll want 2-5 sauces in bottles. I would definitely recommend a low sodium soy sauce be one of them, and maybe a BBQ sauce for the other. I usually also include worcestershire and sriracha but go with whatever you want, teriyaki sauce, A1, whatever you know you’ll eat. Hell, you can use Italian style salad dressing as a cookable sauce if you really want.

Oh, and If you don’t already have some at the house, you’ll need pan lube: butter and/or some kind of cooking oil. 

Okay! we’re done shopping! Affordability isn’t the main focus here, but is undeniably important -- I live in a very expensive area, this shopping trip is going to feed me well for a week and costs me about $100 bucks. When I was living in Alabama, it probably would have cost me more like $70. You won’t need to get stuff like the sauce and rice and peanut butter every week, so you’re definitely looking at a monthly grocery bill of something like $300 depending on where you live, and that’s not too bad. 

Prep

hell no, I’m depressed, the only prep I’m doing is putting two packages of meat in the freezer and the rest of this stuff in the fridge. You CAN box or bag each portion of meat separately so you can really alternate what you eat -- me, I’m gonna eat chicken for two or three days, then beef for two or three days, etc.

and listen, don’t fuck around with microwave settings or running water on things to defrost them. If you package the meat all up separately, just move a portion from the freezer to the fridge each time you cook dinner. Or, if you do like me, move the whole package when you go to cook your last portion of the previous stuff, and just deal with the fact that it will probably still be a tiny bit frozen when you go to cook next.

Tip: When you cook dinner, you’re going to make enough for lunch. That just leaves you one small meal - I often smear peanut butter on a peice of bread and wrap it around a banana like a taco - fast, easy, practically no dishes, relatively healthy

____________________________________________________________

Cooking (this is going to take about 25 minutes)

You’re going to need

ONE frying pan, medium size w/ lid ONE boil pot, medium size w/ lid knife, a spatula and a cutting board.

If you want to be fancy, you can include a big spoon. Looks like this

No matter what the specific ingredients you’ve chosen, the basic format is going to be:

Start your starch heat pan, put meat in the pan flip meat and add veggies, cover with lid remove meat and add sauce finish starch put everything on a plate while it is still too hot to eat and you are standing in the kitchen anyway, wash the like, 4 dishes you’ve gotten dirty. eat.

Okay, before you even get everything else out, start your starch. For rice this means rinse the rice and put it in the cold water and set it on high heat, for pasta this means put your salted water on the stove on high heat. For potatoes, you can use my perfect mashed potatoes recipe (I’ll do that as a separate post) or, honestly, you can wait until you’re halfway done with the rest of everything and microwave the sucker for like 8 minutes. I would never do that in a restaurant, but trying to feed my lethargic depressed ass? Absolutely.

easy rice: Fill your smallest coffee cup with rice, put it in the pot. Rinse. Fill the same cup twice with water, add to rice. Bring to a boil, give a good stir, turn heat all the way down, put a lid on it for something like 15 more minutes.

Okay, now lube your pan. Butter, olive oil, whatever. You’re probably looking at an amount more than a teaspoon and less than a table spoon of whichever you use. Personally I try to use as little olive oil as possible, so I pour a large coin sized amount (a quarter in the U.S.) into the pan, ear off a piece of the paper towel I’m going to use as my napkin for the evening, fold it up tight, and sort of paint the oil around so a little goes a longer way.

Pan lubed? Great, turn your burner on. highest heat will work but is not ideal, medium heat will work better but is still not ideal. Halfway between the two is perfect for chicken, a little hotter for beef, a little lower for fish.

Now remove two portions of your chosen protein (that way you’ll have tomorrow’s lunch too). By the time you get the packaging open and stuff, your pan is probably hot. If it’s not, let it get hot. You don’t want the oil to start smoking (warning, butter will burn faster than oil) but if you shake a single drop of water off your finger into the pan, you want it to sizzle.

If your pan is hot, put your meat in. The more you do this, the more you’ll perfect the timing, but you’re going to cook it for ~about~ 7 minutes before you flip it, maybe a couple minutes longer if it’s chicken or pork, maybe a couple minutes less if it’s beef.

Now that your meat is in, prepare your veggie. Rinse it off, cut off any part of it you don’t want to eat, and then cut what’s left into pieces the size of a large bite. Don’t worry, it’s going to get a little smaller when you cook it. Take your time, you’ll probably finish in less time than the meat needs.

Time to flip your meat? Great. Do that, and then dump your chopped up veggie in the pan. It does not matter at all if the pieces are not touching the bottom of the pan -probably most of them will not be, a bunch will be on top of the meat, that’s fine.

Put a lid on it. Now add your pasta to the water, or put your potato in the microwave, or check your rice. If following my perfect mashed potato recipe, mash now.

Rice tip, checking: eat a grain, you want zero crunch. If it’s not done and there’s no liquid, add a splash of water and stir. It it’s done or close to done, but it is still very wet, give it a big stir and leave on the stove with the lid off for a couple minutes.

Your meat still has like, at least 4 minutes, so rinse off your cutting board and chef knife, get out a plate, table knife and fork.

 Meat done? Great. Take the meat out of the pan, leaving the veggies in. Add sauce to the pan. I like to also use a little wine, because it’s usually already in the house, if you have some and want to, pour a large swallow of wine in the pan with the sauce. I’ll often mix a couple sauces, like worcestershire and soy (makes something similar to teriyaki) or hot sauce and BBQ

Stir the sauce around with the veggies. This, called deglazing, is an important step for two reasons, 1: it will get up a lot of the flavorful stuff that has stuck to the pan and make your sauce better, and 2: it will make washing the pan much easier. Okay, put the lid back on for one to two minutes, maybe stir a couple times. Basically you want the sauce to stain the veggies.

Your starch should be done, turn off the burner, put a portion on your plate, and stick the rest in a ziplock or tupperware or something. Go ahead and throw the second portion of meat right in there with it. 

Turn off the stove and scoop the veggies onto the plate, and pour the sauce from the pan over everything.

Now, while it’s too hot to eat, and you’re standing in the kitchen anyway, wash the pot, pan, and spatula. It should be very easy because of the way you used the sauce and because nothing has had a chance to harden. This usually takes me about 2 full minutes.

__________________________________________________________

OKAY! it’s been 20-25 minutes, you’ve got dinner and tomorrow’s lunch (just add another cut up veggie, pour a different sauce on, and put it in the microwave for two or three minutes) AND there’s no danger of dishes piling up on you :) You can even add “washing last night’s plate and fork for use tonight” to where you rinse the cutting board to really keep it full circle.

It’s not gormet. It IS accessibly healthy, affordable, and easy.

If you are extra depressed, forget the starch and use more veggies; this cuts what little work there is by up to half

Using this format, you can have three good meals per day and only spend 30 total minutes a day in the kitchen — including clean up! (dishes piling up tends to exacerbate my depression and makes cooking your next meal harder)

And it’s easy to give yourself a wide variety, from soy glazed chicken, zucchini and rice one night; to steak, mushrooms and pasta the next; followed by BBQ pork chops, brocoli and potatoes... I suck at math but there’s probably a hundred options

Just to recap, because I know I was very detailed and this might seem overwhelming, once you read through the above to answer any questions you might have, simply

-Start your starch -lube & heat pan, put meat in the pan, about 7 minutes -flip meat, add veggies, lid, about 7 minutes -wash knife and cutting board -remove meat and add sauce to veggies, re-lid, 1-2 minutes -finish starch, refrigerate extra meat and starch  -put everything left on a plate -wash pot and pan -eat.

[thexanwillshine]

a;lskfjdk

Author: thexanwillshine (twitter, ao3) Pairings: Levi x Hange Cross-Postings: AO3 Notes: made for Day 2: Confessions of Levihan Week 2021

“But Levi,” Hange whines as she slumps her head on the back of her sofa and closes her eyes. “Kissing scenes are so tricky to write.”

Perhaps it’s the fact that it’s almost 5:30 in the morning. It could also be because he's tired from lack of sleep. Whatever the case, Levi Ackerman’s filter completely disappears when he asks, “Do you need a demonstration?”

Levi Ackerman can argue that every writer he’s met is always a little bit more eccentric than the average person, but no one proves his theory more than Hange Zoë.

Hange wakes him up in the middle of the night, voice screeching on the phone in her excitement. He responds groggily—as one does when their sleep is disturbed at an ungodly hour by an overly-excited author who acts as if they’ve just found out the answers to the universe—and tries to keep himself sober enough to understand what in the goddamn fuck Hange was talking about this time.

“Levaaiiii,” she says, drawling out his name in a manner that was both annoying and endearing, “I’ve figured it out!”

He can almost imagine the look on her face: starry-eyed in her joy, mouth stretched wide into a grin, fingers shaking as she bounces in glee, shifting her weight from the heels of her feet to the tips of her toes . . .

And Levi exhales in both relief and the tiniest hint of delight, because this is exactly how he wants Hange to be: happy .

Nevertheless, he replies “Figured what out?” snarkily.

Hange’s response comes out quickly, as if she needed to say everything that had to be said in the span of five seconds or less. “So you know how I’ve been trying to write a fiction novel because I wanted to get out of my comfort zone?”

Levi hums in acknowledgement as he fixes the covers over his legs before turning on his bedside lamp. He leans back on the bed frame and closes his eyes to listen to her ramble.

“So I was thinking, I wanted to write a romance novel, because you know how people fall in love and stuff?”

“No Hange, I’ve never heard of that concept in my entire life,” Levi says in a deadpan voice.

Hange laughs, because of course she would know that’s his pathetic attempt at lighthearted conversation. Levi is glad that she knows him better than most people, and it is this sense of familiarity that made him feel particularly comfortable when graced with her presence.

“Just because you’ve never fallen in love before doesn’t mean it’s not real, Levi!” Hange tells him in jest.

Wrong, Levi thinks.

“After all, you’ve probably never wanted to kiss someone your entire life!”

Wrong, Levi thinks.

“Sure, Hange.”

He rolls his eyes at her teasing, because yes, Levi has fallen in love—and maybe, just maybe, he’s still on the road to understanding what it meant to treasure someone far more than just a regular friend.

He shakes off such thoughts before maneuvering Hange back to the initial reason why she had called. “So, what did you want to tell me?”

“I finished,” she proclaims on the phone, her voice proud, “I finished writing the first ten chapters.”

Levi blinks in confusion before sitting straight up, the information processing in his mind that was still a bit drunk with sleep. “You what?” “I couldn’t stop writing,” Hange told him sheepishly, detecting the slightest hint of concern in her editor’s voice, “I’ve been writing for the past 24 or so hours. Maybe more.”

Levi grunts in annoyance, pulling the covers away from his body and jumping out of his unmade bed. He runs a hand through his dark locks, sighing. “Four-eyes, you need to get some sleep.”

“But Levi,” Hange says in protest, “I need you to read my draft. There are some parts I just don’t think are super natural.”

“And I was sleeping like a regular human being,” Levi retorted as he shrugged off his shorts. After that, he put on jeans that he had recently washed before patting down the shirt he was wearing in a pathetic attempt to get rid of the wrinkles that had accumulated while he tossed and turned in bed.

“Oh my gosh, Levi, I didn’t realize the time!” Hange replies, and he can almost feel her guilt starting to set in. “You should go back to sleep,” she immediately adds. “Take care of yourself!”

Levi slips on his rubber shoes and grabs his umbrella before answering. “Coming from you? Not that credible.”

Hange laughs light-heartedly, and his heart flutters just a tiny bit. Levi pushes the feeling away almost as quickly as it had come.

“Have you eaten?” he asks, almost dreading the reply.

There was none.

“Hange,” he calls, but there’s still no response. “Hange. Answer me,” he says firmly, prodding her on. “Have you eaten?”

The laughter that comes out from the other end is nervous. “Woops.”

Levi sighs. He opens his car door and slips inside smoothly, grabbing his keys from his pocket and starting the engine. “Hange, you’re supposed to eat.”

“Sorry,” she tells him honestly. “I really didn’t want to ruin my momentum. I can’t believe I forgot.” She mumbles her second sentence, sounding almost deep in thought. “I’ll go find food now! Want me to email you the working draft? You can look at it in the morning when you wake up.”

“No need,” Levi tells her, placing his phone on his dashboard and accelerating his car. “I’m on the way.”

“Levi!” Hange exclaimed excitedly as she heard her doorbell ring at around four in the morning.

She rushes to the door in delight, opening it to reveal Levi standing in front of her, a paper bag in his hand and a jacket half-heartedly slung over his shoulder.

“Hi,” he greets calmly, before walking inside and letting himself in.

Inwardly, Hange thanks whatever god is out there for her foresight. Her unit was relatively clean since she hadn’t really done anything since Levi’s last visit. The place seemed to pass Levi’s health protocols, since he sat on her couch and placed the paper bag on the table right across from him.

“Eat,” he tells her, crossing his arms over his chest.

Hange grins, before plopping down beside him and opening the paper bag. “What did you get me?”

“You’ll see.”

She raises an eyebrow at his ambiguity, before taking a glimpse inside the paper bag.

The smell of quesadillas immediately fills the room, and Hange lets out a soft squeal, taking out the food from the bag quickly.

“Oh my gosh,” Hange says as she nudges him on the shoulder. “You also got me onion rings! You know me too well, Levi.”

“Unfortunately,” Levi responds sarcastically, and Hange laughs almost automatically.

As Hange hums in glee, picking apart the paper wrapped around the food items, Levi maintains his silence. They stay like that as Hange eats. Every so often, she would comment about how the amount of cheese was perfect and how the onion rings just about melted in her mouth. Levi alternates between watching her eat and scrolls through his phone placidly.

Soon, he chooses to break the silence. “So where’s your draft?”

Hange is munching on her last piece of quesadilla when she glances in his direction. “Oh, it’s on my laptop! I can’t believe I forgot to tell you, this food was just so good.”

Levi stands up and heads on over to Hange’s room, gently pushing the door open and scanning the area for her laptop. On top of her unmade bed was a half open Macbook Pro, which he gently took before returning to his seat beside Hange.

Without hesitation, Levi opens the laptop and inputs the password. For some reason, Hange made it his birthday—1225—because she claimed that no one would guess such a random date. He is greeted with a blaring Google Docs document entitled “a;lskfjdk.”

“Nice title you got there,” he comments, and Hange chuckles.

“I didn’t want to think of a title yet, okay!” Hange pouts, and Levi nudges her foot gently in an attempt to comfort her from his own teasing.

He scans the document first before reading it. Hange is a good writer, but fiction is an entirely new genre for her. Immediately, he notices common habits from writing research papers leak into her new work: overexplaining, using words that are too formal for her target audience, sentences a little bit void from emotion.

He takes note of these comments on her notes app before going over her draft again, this time more meticulously than he had done previously. During this time, Hange finishes eating, wraps her trash and tosses them all inside the paper bag before standing up and dumping the entire thing inside her garbage bin.

“Levi,” she calls as she washes her hands through the sink faucet. Levi gives her the smallest hint that he’s listening by raising his eyebrow, but he doesn’t take his gaze away from her laptop. “I’m going to take a shower,” she announces, and he waves his hand dismissively.

Hange smiles to herself. Levi is always nagging her whenever she would accidentally hyperfixate on her writing, but he acts the same way when reading her works.

When Hange stepped inside the shower, Levi was already conducting a deep dive in her third chapter. The gears in his head slowly begin to turn as he begins to analyze her work.

The story revolved around the tales of the people who went to the clinic. The first chapter was a brief introduction on who the main characters were: There’s Janelle, a bright-eyed psychologist whose passion influenced the people around her. Together with El and Bea, her trusted assistants studying under her guidance, they would aid the people who went to the Hopiatria Clinic seeking care.

Meanwhile, the second chapter featured a child who felt as if she was being blamed for the death of her mother by her father. Her mother had died in a plane crash shortly after the young girl wished that her mom could go home on her sixth birthday. Janelle talks to the child gently while El and Bea provide emotional support, offering the child toys and biscuits whenever the need arises.

The third chapter was trickier, and it was there that Levi noticed a twist in Hange’s writing. The story revolved around a boy busy getting her doctorate, and a young girl who had been in love with him ever since they were in college. It’s the young girl who comes to Janelle’s office, and she relays the tale of her unrequited childhood romance to the psychologist.

The young girl is passionate, and wanted to take a step forward in order to guide her towards falling out of love with her best friend. Janelle presents two suggestions: (1) confession, while being fully-open to the possibility of rejection, and (2) accepting rejection without confession. The young girl decides to go with the first option, but to her surprise, the boy returns her feelings.

Everything seemed well-written up until the end of the chapter, where Hange had written,

And then they kissed.

Levi scrolled down the page, tilting his head to the side in slight confusion. That’s it? He thought, trying to find the rest.

Everything had been so well-described; from the girl’s internal turmoil—caused by her fear of destroying their friendship and the pain that came with unrequited love—to the boy confessing his own emotions for her.

The ending was anticlimactic, to say the least.

As he blinked at the google document in confusion, already typing out his comment on her notes app, Hange emerged from the bathroom. Her hair was loose on her shoulders, wet from her shower. Wrapped around her waist is his bathrobe, which she had borrowed from him long ago and never bothered to return it.

Levi scoffs as he glances in her direction. Here she was, parading with the cloth on and rubbing that specific fact in his face.

“Hey,” Hange greeted, smiling as she ran a hand through her brown locks, “How’s the reading going?”

“It was okay until the third chapter,” Levi says honestly, pointing the laptop screen in her direction. “The ending’s anticlimactic.”

Hange hummed, pursing her lips together. “Yeah. I didn’t really know how to end it,” she tells him as she opens her cabinet and grabs a few pieces of clothing. “Give me a bit, I’m going to change.”

She disappears into her room and Levi focuses on her story, trying to think of a way to spur Hange on and perhaps actively improve the ending’s writing.

Hange emerges in a loose t-shirt (which was, once again, his) and shorts. She sits down right beside him, leaning over his shoulder to glance at her laptop and read the specific line that particularly irked Levi.

“It’s that one, right?” Hange asks, pointing at the last sentence. “And then they kissed.”

“Yeah,” Levi responds, shaking his head. “Everything was so well-written up ‘till that point. You were able to describe the emotions perfectly, and the narration’s not that bad . . save for a few paragraphs that maybe should’ve stayed in your research papers.”

Hange chuckles. “Old habits die hard,” she responds, before taking her Macbook from his lap and transferring it to hers. ���So what should I write?”

Levi shrugs. “I’m just your editor. You’re the writer.”

Hange pouts. “Yeah, but I don’t know how to make this better.”

“Maybe describe the scene more,” Levi suggests. “Everything ended so abruptly. Every emotion you’ve created and built disappeared in that one line.”

She nods in agreement. “But Levi,” Hange whines as she slumps her head on the back of her sofa and closes her eyes. “Kissing scenes are so tricky to write.”

Perhaps it’s the fact that it’s almost 5:30 in the morning. It could also be because he's tired from lack of sleep. Whatever the case, Levi Ackerman’s filter completely disappears when he asks, “Do you need a demonstration?”

Hange’s eyes shoot open immediately, and Levi’s face turns red just as quickly.

“F-Forget it,” he says, interrupting her just when he saw Hange open her mouth to speak. Any semblance of calm in his body disappears immediately, and his heart starts pounding against his chest in a rhythm that reminds him too much of a beating drum.

Hange, however, looks elated.

“You want to kiss me?” she tells him in excitement, blinking at him. “I’d like that. It could help me write this scene, you know.”

Levi looks away. “It was just a spur of the moment question.”

“So, you’re not going to kiss me?”

He actively avoids her gaze because he can already see from his peripheral vision that she looks sad, disappointed even. He grunts in response, closing his eyes and focusing his attention on a random spot on the wall.

“Oh,” Hange replies, “Well, I thought it was a good idea.”

Contrary to popular belief, Levi does want to kiss Hange. More than anything.

There were many reasons why: Because she looks so handsome and beautiful at the same time, and her very smile could light up any room she’d walk into. Because she says his name in the most endearing way. Because she understands his flaws. Because she has one of the kindest hearts he’s ever seen. Because she welcomes him with open arms, not a single thread of hesitation in her mind.

Most of all, it was simply because she was Hange.

He steals a glance in her direction, and she’s slightly fiddling with the hem of his shirt, her head downcast. Her sad expression tugs at hi

Levi thinks he’s already in this too deep, so he decides to speak.

“Did you want me to kiss you?”

From his periphery, he sees her look up at him so quickly he thought her neck would break. “What would you do if I said yes?”

He doesn’t dare turn his head in her direction when he replies quietly, “What do you think?”

“Would you kiss me?” Hange asks inquisitively, tilting her head to the side.

Levi’s heart skips a beat.

“Maybe,” he says in a voice barely above a whisper. “If you’d let me.”

Hange is silent for a moment, and Levi thinks this is it, I’m going to be rejected, but he feels a gentle finger touch his chin and turn his head in Hange’s direction.

He is met with her brown orbs, shining just a bit in what seemed like hidden glee. He cocks an eyebrow at her then, confused.

“I’m letting you,” Hange says, laughing. “Kiss me, I mean.” Her face is already slowly nearing his, and he can almost see the way her thick lashes brushed against her skin.

Slowly, Levi raises his head just a tiny bit and responds against her lips, “Okay.”

Hange smiles and closes the distance between them, wrapping her arms around his neck as he does the same around her waist. She tastes like the peppermint of her toothpaste, smells like his shampoo (which he had kept in her apartment since he always found himself staying over), and felt warm as her skin made contact with his. Hange's lips are gentle, slow, and a little shy—so different from how she usually is. Levi knows it’s because she doesn’t want to scare him off, so he makes the first move and nips at her lower lip, taking it between his teeth and sucking it gently.

She lets out a moan, and Levi takes this as a sign to continue. He slides his hand over her back, and she shudders and deepens the kiss at the same time. Her tongue meets his, and they battle for dominance. Hange’s hand sweeps over his undercut and pushes him towards him, and it is then that he lets out a sound that vaguely resembles pleasure.

After a few minutes, Hange whispers “Levi,” as her lips make contact with his. He hums in response, pulling his lips away from her and connecting his forehead with hers.

“Hange,” he says, breathless.

“Is this you telling me you like me?” Hange asks, closing her eyes.

He doesn’t form a reply through words, but he nods and closes his eyes as well.

“Great,” Hange tells him, pecking his lips with her own. “Because I like you too. Ever since I met you, I’ve liked you. Even though you were so rude to me on the first day of college.”

He chuckles silently in relief, pulling her closer to him before placing his chin on her shoulder. “Think you’ll be able to write the ending now that you know what a kiss feels like?”

Hange laughs, and it vibrates against his shoulder as she hugs him tighter. “It’s exhilarating. I probably wouldn’t be able to put into words how good I feel that you like me back.”

“Try,” Levi teases.

“Well . . . you know that alternative title I wrote for the fictional novel?”

Levi’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “The keyboard smash?”

Hange nods. “Yeah. That’s exactly what I feel like right now.”

a;lskfjdk.

[indecisive-behaviors]

Originally I was just going to add this as a reblog to my previous post about the parking lot scene in KK2 but it’s almost 2k words so now it’s getting it’s own post. Be forewarned- this is fucking long.

TW for discussion of PTSD, child abuse, neglect, injury, and death, in relation to topics surrounding the show, under the cut-

Obviously, Cobra Kai is a show based around the premise of “what happened to that Lawrence kid after he got kicked in the face?”, which is honestly a pretty cool idea for a show. Johnny’s story is never explained past sitting on the sidewalk with his head in his hands at the tournament, and there are no real context clue’s to figure out what may or may not have happened.

In the show we get to learn early on that Johnny’s life spiraled after the tournament, going from bad to worse to “holy shit how are you still alive”-dropping out/never going to college, working jobs he seems to hate, becoming an alcoholic, presumably many dead end relationships, and not being there for his kid. And yeah, obviously, this would be a hard pill to swallow for anyone watching the show if Johnny had just lost the tournament. If we never got the scene in KK2, he would have just been some kid who lost a tournament- we see at the end of the first movie that(through tears holy shit Billy) that Johnny is the one who gives the trophy to Daniel with his famous line, “You’re alright, LaRusso.” There’s a level of grudging respect in that moment that isn’t lost on anyone who sees that movie- that Johnny, who throughout the movie only sees Daniel as some whimpy kid, gets proven wrong and respects that. If we didn’t have that scene, there’s reason to believe Johnny would have apologized, tried to make amends, Something, even if it was just being less of a dick at school.

But then, we get the parking lot. We get a far off shot, intended to distance you from the scene, framed over Daniel’s shoulder. This makes sense, Daniel is the main character, the protagonist, the underdog hero- why wouldn’t it be framed in his perspective? But the scene is about Johnny. We get the shouting match, the back and forth- “No, you’re the loser man.”- and again it’s fairly obvious how Johnny sees this situation. This is a man who we assume(and is later confirmed) to be a surrogate father figure, who set his friend up for failure, and then basically forced him to do the same by targeting an injured opponent, and forcing him to fight without honor. This same man presumably follows a teenager out to the parking lot, to harass him, to tell him he’s off the team, to tell him he’s a loser, that he’s nothing.

But at that point, Johnny knows the truth, even if subconsciously. At the end of the day Johnny knows that Daniel LaRusso was a worthy opponent, and that regardless of the cheating and manipulation, Daniel could have won anyway, and did win, despite of it.

And then Kreese grabs him, too fast to react to, Johnny too surprised even knowing that Kreese is the bad guy here, not believing that he would ever willingly hurt him- and Johnny isn’t strong enough to fight him off, none of the boys are, so Johnny is forced to suffocate for almost a full 30 seconds(which I double checked for the record- also as a reference, 30 seconds is about the average time it takes for a person voluntarily holding their breath to pass out- this does not account for the oxygen lost during a struggle, and the lack of preparation from both surprise and panic. The only silver lining here is the fact that Kreese was most likely compressing his windpipe, not his jugular, which would have made him pass out in about 5-10 seconds, and would have caused permanent brain damage or death in about 15).

Now, PTSD is a complex thing. I’m not a psychiatrist, and what small amount of information we have is all we have to work off of, but I feel fairly comfortable in saying Johnny mostly likely developed it after the incident. This not an uncommon take in the fandom as far as I’m aware either. But, if we assume this, we also have to assume that after the fact nothing would have been done about this. Not just in the sense that we still don’t really know everything that happened right after the tournament, but that in the early 80s, PTSD wasn’t really a thing yet.

Sure it was absolutely a condition that existed, but Post Traumatic Stress Disorder wasn’t even added to the DSM-III until 1980- and for a long time afterward, was only seen as a condition that affected primarily war vets. Even after an event as traumatic as having a man you considered a father trying to kill you, in public, without remorse, would not have been seen as something to warrant the diagnoses, let alone treatment.

Johnny Lawrence was 17 when Kreese tried to kill him, and this boy would have been offered no resources beyond filing charges with the police. And as we see in KK3, either this didn’t happen either, or someone(presumably Silver) got the charges dropped. So on top of almost being murdered, Johnny had to live with the fact that the man who did that to him was still out there, and to top it off, still ran a dojo at least for a few months after the event. The only relief he could have gotten is after Kreese faked his death.

And sure, Mr Miyagi may have gotten Kreese to let go eventually, but as several people have pointed out in comments and tags, left him and the other boys alone with Kreese still standing there in the parking lot and just... drove off. Kreese has already been established to be a psycho with no problem hurting children, a little bit of glass might not have prevented him from trying again.

So why did I talk about all of that? Because it all contributes to why Daniel LaRusso works as a credible antagonist in season 1 of Cobra Kai.

Think about this- Johnny blames losing everything on Daniel in season 1, but we specifically get a shot in KK1 and later KK2(”You’re alright, LaRusso” and “I did my best” come to mind) where he seems to be at least mostly accepting of the fact that he lost(with what was actually an illegal kick but that’s a rant for another time). So why does he blame him for everything 30 years later?

Because 30 years later, Johnny is forced to go outside, go to work, and pretend like he doesn’t see what feels like every street corner(including right outside his apartment mind you), a literal billboard sized reminder of what happened to him.

The rest of this is mostly speculation but it makes sense in my head so bear with me.

When we get introduced to Robby, it’s made pretty clear that Johnny has not been in his life for a bit. In season 2 we get Johnny’s heart to heart with Miguel, where he divulges that he missed the birth, because he spiraled after his mom’s death. This however doesn’t suggest that he stayed gone, especially knowing that it wasn’t long enough for Robby to not consider seeking out his dad. Because tacked up to the fridge, is a picture of Robby in his soccer uniform as a kid. It’s an early detail you can see in previous episodes, and says a lot about how Robby grew up. To be fair, this could have been given to him by Shannon, and not taken himself, but it’s the sport Robby’s playing that makes me question this. KK1 dedicates an entire scene to Johnny being on the soccer team in high school. Soccer, while maybe not as important to him as karate, is still part of his character. Robby does not know karate in season 1, Johnny obviously didn’t share it with him, but that doesn’t mean Johnny didn’t share anything with him.

So Johnny’s back in his kids life, maybe doing better for himself, maybe cutting back on the drinking. LaRusso Auto is already established to exist at this point but it’s in Encino, a place Johnny has no reason to go to, and probably doesn’t want to. He’s trying again and things are okay. But Robby knows enough about Daniel to know that going to him will piss off his dad. So Johnny had to have talked about him at some point. The billboards here are what’s important- they’re in the first episode, the first scene montage, Johnny draws a dick on one of them as some petty revenge.

The first billboard goes up in the late 2000s to mid 2010s. Johnny sees it, maybe he has Robby with him at the time, maybe he goes home and says something there, but he says something in a way that sticks with even a child as being important. More billboards go up. Dealerships starting popping up more and more. Daniel’s face, and by extension, the memories, the flashbacks, become inescapable. Johnny, for a third time, spirals again. Before he even knows what’s happening, he’s lost his relationship with his son. And it’s all Daniel’s fault. Of course Daniel doesn’t do it deliberately, but the constant reminders are enough to send him back into a tailspin and Johnny blames him for it.

Because it’s Daniel who is a constant reminder of his failures- it’s Daniel who caused him to lose the tournament and almost get killed, Daniel who put up the billboards that trigger his flashbacks, it’s always Daniel Daniel Daniel.

And then Johnny gets it in his head that he wants to be better. He opens a dojo, teaches Miguel and the other kids, wants to try again- and he almost succeeds.

Johnny up to this point has not deliberately antagonized Daniel in any way. Sure he named the dojo Cobra Kai, but Cobra Kai is all he knows. Besides Johnny doesn’t blame karate for his failures, his best memories are Cobra Kai and he’s trying to be better than Kreese. So what’s the harm in this really? His building is in Reseda, there’s no reason for Daniel to ever be there, he doesn’t do it out of spite, it’s because he lives there and rent is cheap. He doesn’t know about KK3, doesn’t know about Daniel’s own trauma. This isn’t an attack. Johnny sincerely just doesn’t know.

Enter Daniel, stage left. Daniel makes no attempt to talk to him- he simply makes demands and accusations, before he starts making active attempts to put him out of business.

Sure, we as the audience know Daniel has good reasons to not want Cobra Kai back. But Johnny doesn’t. All Johnny knows is that the kid he picked on in high school- who won, who got everything Johnny wanted, who grew up to be successful, has a wonderful wife, two kids who love him, a thriving business- is doing everything he can to make his life hell 30 years after the fact.

And this could only have happened because in 1986 John G. Avildsen decided to add in a scene meant for the original movie into the sequel, for absolutely no fucking reason.

[itsallyscorner]

so, I was watching the video that came out today and I was thinking about a age gap seb x reader around his friends like Jessica or maybe chace? And they're just hanging out and they both have this lovesick look on their faces and when she leaves the room for some reason they don't waste any time addressing how in love she is with him, and sebs glad bc they were kinda wary of her at first?

Hiyaaa babes! This is my first request so woohoo🥳 Since you mentioned the video, I literally thought of the pictures that were released while they were filming 355, and now I can’t get the image of Seb in Paris because holy shit he looked good. So I’m gonna be using Jessica❤️

- This came out so long, I’m a sucker for background info and can’t get past writing a story without one💀 Enjoy!💜

💌.

Lovesick

You and Sebastian were unexpected. Literally the chances of you guys getting together were so off and you guys were at different times of your lives. He was in his late 30s, already living most of his life as a successful actor. While you were in your early 20s still in college working on your doctoral degree to become a Pharmacist (It was the only major I could think of atm because it’s the one I’m planing on lol.) You guys met at the cafe near your campus. You always went there every morning and would spot him drinking his morning coffee with his nose stuck in a new script he was reading. You two would sneak glances at each other, admiring each other from afar. Until one day when the cafe was fairly packed and you needed a place to sit. You spotted his familiar face and asked him if you could sit in the seat across from him. Obviously he agreed and you guys talked, getting to know each other the whole time. When it was time for you to leave for classes, you guys exchanged numbers and kept in touch.

Which brings us to today. You and Sebastian have been going strong for about a year now and were approaching your second year together. Though you two are as happy as can be and are still in the honeymoon phase (even after a year), the first few months of the relationship were quite rough. There was an obvious age gap between you two, it didn’t bother you two as much, but the public didn’t react too nicely about it. Your parents weren’t too fond of the idea of you dating an older man, but after getting to know him they knew his intentions with you were well. Same goes for your friends and family. When it came to his fans and the media finding about your relationship, that’s when it went to shit.

The media made Sebastian look like some creep who was going through a midlife crisis for dating someone much younger than him. A few “fans” even claimed that he were a “groomer” after pictures of you and him heavily making out on the street were released. These issues caused some bumps in the road for your relationship, though after many arguments, you two realized that the only opinions that mattered were each other’s.

Now you two were staying at a hotel in Paris. Sebastian was currently working on a big project, “The 355”, something he was very excited about. This was one of the first projects that he was really involved in, from script to screen, he played a pretty big role in this project.

You were typing up a report for your class when Sebastian entered the hotel room. He was still in his set clothes, a light blue shirt, dark jeans, and a pair of Chelsea boots. He approached the bed where you were typing and pressed a kiss to your temple.

“Hey sweetheart, how’s school going?” He greeted you as he settled himself on the bed, laying on his side.

“Meh, it’s going...but I finished my report on time. Now I just need to proofread it.” You smiled as you finished typing the last sentence of your report. When Sebastian discovered he was going to film in Paris, he immediately told you, knowing you’ve been dreaming of visiting Paris. Luckily for the both of you, your school allowed you to do online learning (it probably doesn’t work like that but just go with it) and you were able to tag along with him.

“I’m sure it’s prefect, you’re a great writer.” He complimented, you hummed in response. Turning to him you run your hand through his short hair making him lean into your touch. You loved his fluffy hair but the short hair was starting to grow on you.

Sebastian turned his head and pressed a kiss into your palm, stormy eyes gazing up at you.

“How has your day been?” You asked.

“It was good. We got through a good amount of scenes without messing up, so I’d say it was a successful day.” He answered. You smiled at his enthusiasm. Sebastian’s face always lit up when he was talking about a project and it was one of the things you admired most about him, his passion for his work.

“So, you’ve been cooped up in this damn hotel all day. Why don’t you come to dinner with me and the cast tonight? You’ve been waiting to visit Paris all your life and you haven’t even been outside this hotel for days.” He suggested. It was true, you haven’t done much but do school work, order room service, and binge watch shows on Netflix.

“Are you sure they’d want me to come? I might be intruding.” Honestly you were nervous to meet the rest of the cast. You’ve met Jessica a few times but they were brief and she seemed like she didn’t like you. Though that could just be your thoughts making you paranoid, you were still nervous to meet the people Seb worked with. You didn’t want them to think you were using him for money or to travel around the world because you weren’t. You loved Sebastian for himself, not the money and the fame, you could care less about all that.

But they were still Sebastian’s friends and you wanted to have a good first impression on them. You didn’t want them to think you were just some immature college girl who needed money to pay off her college funds.

Noticing you were drifting off, Sebastian pressed another kiss into your palm and grasps it. “You wouldn’t be intruding, Jessica actually suggested you come along.” He mentioned.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive, baby. Come on, let’s put this stuff away and get ready. We’re having dinner at the Eiffel Tower.”

“I— the Eiffel Tower?”

•

To say you were intimidated and scared shitless was an understatement. Here you were in the Eiffel Tower having dinner with some of the most talented women in Hollywood. Like seriously Jessica Chastain, Lupita Nyong’o, Penélope Cruz, and Diane Kruger. Of course Seb and Édgar Ramírez where there as well. Then there was you, NYC local college student. You didn’t wanna say you felt out of place, but you did. These were successful people who probably starred in some of the movies you watched growing up. Now you’re literally in the Eiffel fucking Tower having dinner with them.

Dinner was going smoothly, everyone was talking about the set, shared some funny stories, and you were keeping to yourself simply eating your steak. That was until the attention was brought to you.

“So (y/n), Sebastian mentioned you were in college, what are you studying?” Jessica asked. Everyone turned to you and you swear you felt like a deer in headlights. Seb nudged your thigh with his, a reassuring smile on his face.

“Yes I am! I’m actually taking a PharmD program at St. John Fisher to become a Pharmacist.” you answered.

“For your masters?” She followed up curiously, slightly leaning forward to you.

“No, for my doctoral degree.” You corrected her proudly. You didn’t want to come off as an ass, but you were proud of your work and you worked your ass off for it.

Everyone at the table was taken back by your response. Except Sebastian, who had a just as proud smile on his face. They knew you were in college but not studying something as serious as Pharmacy.

“St.John Fisher College? I had a cousin that went there, it’s a great college.” Lupita was the first to break the silence.

“So are you working in the field yet? For some experience?” Penélope chimed in. Sebastian snorted, “Oh she has experience, trust me.”

You chuckled as you softly smacked Seb’s bicep, “Well currently, I’m interning as a Pharmacy Tech at a hospital pharmacy. They’re thinking about making me a permanent one until I graduate so fingers crossed!”

As you answered all their questions about your personal life and your major, Sebastian couldn’t help but just admire you. Just like how you admired the way he talked about his projects, he admired the way you got lost in rambling about your soon career. The way your eyes lit up, how your hands moved while you talked, and that hint of a smile on your face. He absolutely adored every single thing about you.

Dinner continued, the last question for you about why you chose to do college in New York, which segwayed into a conversation about— well New York. As the others talked about their love for the city, Sebastian wrapped his arm around your shoulders. Your back was now pressed to his chest, both of you not listening to the conversation. You pressed a kiss to his arm and looked back at him.

“Hey you.” You hummed at him rubbing your thumb along his arm.

“Hi.” He gazed down at you with that smile that made his eyes crinkle. The moment was interrupted by your phone ringing. Quickly glancing at the contact ID, it was the hospital pharmacy you interned for.

“You should take that.” Seb whispered into your ear.

“No, Seb that’s rude. We’re at dinner, I’m sure it can wait.”

“I have a good feeling about this call, draga mea.” He coaxed you. Having a feeling that he might be right you excuse yourself from the table. When you’re gone the table goes quiet.

“Sebastian, you’ve got one hell of a girlfriend.” Penélope stated as the rest of the table agreed.

“She’s so smart! What the hell, a doctoral degree? Kudos to her because the amount of motivation I would need to even try!” Jessica followed up with an amazed look on her face.

“I think you guys are forgetting to mention how whipped they both are for each other! Those two were in their own world over there!” Lupita pointed out. The whole table laughed as Sebastian was turning red. Of course he was whipped, he knew he was.

“I love her guys, she’s, she’s something else. The spunk she has, her intelligence, she’s-,” Sebastian began to list but was cut off by Édgar, “Out of your league?”

The whole table burst into laughter as they agreed with Édgar. You were also coming back to the table after your call. Sebastian spotted you, eyes connecting to yours immediately.

“Everything alright?”

“They gave me the permanent job!”

draga mea - my darling 

[undersprite]

2021's Winner is...!

I would like to congratulate everyone who participated on this year's events! Admittedly, this year's contest yielded less entries, but on the other hand, the entries this year had a lot of effort put into them.

Even so, I recognize that there are things we need to improve on the team as hosts as far as the contest is concerned. That being said, we will now proceed to list off the winners!

1st. Lancer's Really Cool Birthday Party For My Dad That's In Jail (FT. My Best Friend) - By Ellis and TmntLeo

Writing Fidelity: 49/60 Art Fidelity: 60/60 Pacing/Lenght: 33/40 Creativity: 37/40

"LRCBPFMDTIJ (jesus that's a mouthful) is one of the best comics in the contest. Though it suffers from being a first part and the story being left incomplete, the content on display is meaty enough to make up for it. The writing is pretty sharp, and it is a visual treat. Easily the best, though, again, I have to take out points for being a part 1. " -Fms

"[...] They've managed to demonstrate the power of teamwork and dedication, both in the comic and in its development, and it's something that I think is fantastic." -Subna

"[...] I haven’t got much else to say. Just a really strong, solid entry." - CHAOS_FANTAZY

2nd. Afterwards - By Superkirbylover

Writing Fidelity: 41/60 Art Fidelity: 48/60 Pacing/Lenght: 31/40 Creativity: 32/40

"SKL’s Afterward was pretty good, if not a bit bogged down by the ending. The Alphys stinger at the end did leave a bitter taste in my mouth for the wrong reasons, I feel as though it could have been cut, and the comic would have been better off for it. I don’t particularly like how Alphys is so open about her feelings. That being said, the rest of the comic makes up for it. Visually it is pretty similar to UT, but the amount of animations, expressions, and original poses for the characters are charming and really gives it an edge. It is just a solid entry that manages to stand up on its own terms." - Fms

"Oof. That was heavy. It’s honestly a little difficult for me to fairly evaluate such an emotionally charged story, but, hey, “Story That Makes You Sad” made me sad, so mission accomplished, I guess! [...] Other than that, I have to say I’m very pleased with this, and even more pleased to know I inspired it." - CHAOS_FANTAZY

"[...] That said, the comic is presented very concise, and the spritework plus the animations seem great to me, especially the Frisk sprite being lifted by Toriel and how consistent it remains, [...] I thought it was great, no absolute complaint at this point." - Subna

3rd. Sans' Night - MultiSoulZero

Writing Fidelity: 45/60 Art Fidelity: 26/60 Pacing/Lenght: 35/40 Creativity: 30/40

"Sans’ Night was the most pleasant surprise from this contest. It’s a simple premise executed wonderfully, a stand up comedy act from the skeleton himself. The visuals have a lot of little blemishes (the text box borders changing constantly, for instance) that add up. The comic only takes place in one room, and there’s not a lot of movement involved in it. The visuals are sufficient to carry the writing, but they feel lackluster in comparison to other comics. The comic is also really simple and there’s not much of a plot. But it absolutely nails what it tries to do, and I believe it deserves credit for achieving it. The writing feels in character, and it’s pretty entertaining, and it’s entirely self contained. … Though, being honest, the fact that this is one of the best comics in the contest is slightly upsetting. Still, a good read." - Fms

"[...] It’s almost fiendishly brilliant to make a comic like this—doing the absolute bare minimum so there’s nothing to poke holes into. If it’s all a meta-joke about how that’s what Sans himself would do, then this comic is utter genius, but I really can’t go as far as to assume that. As is, I have to say that I hate that this is one of the stronger entrants in the contest." - CHAOS_FANTAZY

"……….Jesus christ. You actually did a 50+ panel comic of Sans doing a comedy show, wild. I admit that the first time I read it my impression was more negative than anything, probably because the screen does not show much more than Sans walking from one side to another, but after giving each comic a second reading, and talking to the rest of judges on each entry, it was there when I noticed that the strength of the comic was in your writing." - Subna

That being said, due to the amount of judges and opinions, we did not have the time to put a comprehensive document with all of the reviews in one place.

We will release it in due time, ideally before the day ends. But, for the time being, have this spreadsheet:

Thank you for participating! We hope we can grow to improve this contest next year.

[spartanguard]

game changers

Summary: Emma’s son’s hockey team—the one she started when got cut from another—is about to play for the state championship. Along the way, she found assistance—and attraction—with the grumpy ice rink manager where they practice. Winning isn’t the only thing on the line; hearts are, too. (aka the Mighty Ducks: Game Changers AU no one asked for.)

A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY @thesschesthair​!!!!!!!! wishing you the most awesome, amazing, furry birthday yet!!! After our conversations about the Mighty Ducks series—especially that scene at the end—I couldn’t resist throwing this little thing together in honor of the day. Hope you like it, and thank you for being such an amazing friend!! Love you!!!!

1.6k words | rated G

If someone had told Emma at the beginning of the season that they’d be here, she’d have laughed hysterically and asked what drugs they were on, because she wanted some. There was no way this little ragamuffin team—that, honestly, was half started out of spite—would even make it to the state tournament, let alone to the final.

Yet, here they were, about to face off against the elite team that had cut her son from the roster before the season even started. (She could grumble on for days about the state of youth hockey and the money involved and any other number of social injustices, but what it really amounted to was how it highlighted her own feelings of inadequacy as a young-ish single mom next to all the rich ladies who already had college advisors for their middle schoolers.) 

The puck hadn’t even dropped and she was already a bundle of nervous energy, as much as the pre-teens around her in the locker room. It hadn’t been easy, getting here—god, it hadn’t been that long ago some of these kids could barely even skate—but this was more than they had ever anticipated. She knew she should be dispensing some sage advice, but it’s not like she was ever that experienced in this kind of situation; foster kids didn’t have much of an opportunity to participate in organized sports (part of why she’d been so adamant to make sure Henry had these opportunities).

But then an increasingly familiar presence appeared at her side, gave her a sideways grin she was growing to love, and addressed the kids with a speech that was the perfect combination of encouraging and celebratory.

It may have been a stroke of luck that she found Killian Jones in that run-down ice arena, because none of this would have worked without him. 

And the grin Henry was giving her as they headed out to the rink was worth all of it.

(The way her heart jumped every time Killian was near? Pleasant side effect. But also: not a priority right now.)

The team filed out of the room, leaving her to bring up the rear. “You alright, love?” Killian asked, coming up alongside her, concern furrowing his expressive brow.

“Yeah, just nervous,” she admitted. “Never thought we’d even be here, but now that we are—is it wrong that I really hope we win?” Logically, she knew she’d proven whatever point she’d already set out to prove—that hockey could still be fun, that money was no replacement for drive, that she was capable of running a team. Winning states, though? That would just put it in bold text.

“Not at all,” he assured her. “You’ve done an amazing job with these kids. And Swan: I’ve yet to see you fail.”

The honesty shining in his blue eyes was almost overwhelming, and a sudden tension formed in the narrow space between them; she hadn���t even realized how close he was. Close enough to...no, she couldn’t follow that train of thought. She’d done enough of that for one lifetime, and knew he had, too

So she stepped out of his space, took a deep breath, and started to head out of the room. “Let’s do this, then.”

*********************

She’d hated him, at first. She wasn’t even sure how she managed to convince him to let the team use the rink, despite the “no hockey” signs plastered everywhere. It had to have been Henry—that kid could warm even the hardest heart.

Which was probably the only reason Killian agreed to help coach, too. Emma knew absolutely nothing about the sport other than what she’d seen watching; but how could she teach the kids the difference between icing and offsides if she didn’t even know? Heck, she could barely stop on her (rented, figure) skates without crashing into the boards. 

And she was totally ready to respect Killian’s rule—until Henry found out who he was and couldn’t stop talking about him. About how he actually founded his previous team, and had a pretty respectable minor league playing career until a hand injury ended it, but went on to be a fantastic coach—for a while, ultimately flaming out at the college level. It wasn’t her business how he ended up managing a secondhand rink in the less-nice part of Boston, just that he continued to let them use it. 

It took a couple soul-crushing defeats before he stepped in and helped her teach the kids the basics, and as it turned out, they made a pretty good team. He was fantastic with the kids; Henry liked him a lot; hell, he was even great with her ex. It was perfect—almost too much so.

Because he could also read her far too well.

It only took one run-in with Regina, one of those rich moms, for him to figure out there was more to her starting this team than met the eye.

He sussed out her history with Neal pretty quickly, despite only meeting him once—her reaction said enough.

And when she put distance between them—a lot of it, for almost two weeks—after they shared a rather intense hug after their first win, he called her out on her bullshit.

“Don’t try to tell me you’re not avoiding me, because I’m actually quite perceptive and this? This is avoiding.”

“I know,” she confessed. “But...I can’t take the chance I’m wrong about you.”

They continued to skate around...whatever this was between them. Emma tried to chalk it up to physical attraction—because damn, was he ever: dark, shaggy hair (with a few lighter strands mixed in), piercing blue eyes, the right amount of stubble, and a bit of chest hair that teased her from under the henleys he wore, which also did a good job of showing off the fact that his playing career might be over, but he was still in fine form.

But it was so much more than that. He was a kindred spirit, in a way. She just refused to admit that.

*********************

From the moment the puck dropped, it felt like she didn’t take a breath. She and Killian moved with and around each other fluidly, giving instructions, cheering the kids on, maybe yelling at the referees a bit, but ultimately doing everything they could to support the team.

With less than 30 seconds left in the third period, the game was tied 3-3. “Do you trust me?” Killian asked her at the start of their last time out.

“Of course.” She’d never been more sure of anything.

He nodded at her and then turned to the kids, describing a play that, if all went well, would net them a goal and secure them the win.

She was silent with anxiety as she watched the line skate back out. Killian returned to her side and then squeezed her hand. “This’ll work, I promise,” he said, and gave her one of the soft smiles he didn’t give very often.

All she could do was nod and then turn her attention back to the ice.

She still wasn’t exactly sure what he’d told them to do, but it was genius, whatever it was; the kids were completely in sync, passing the puck surely and accurately, until it was in Henry’s possession—and then it was in the net.

The light lit up, the siren rang out—they’d just won the state championship.

She didn’t know whether to scream or cry, so she settled for some combination of both and instinctively threw her arms around Killian, not giving a fig about propriety. They won.

(It was almost worth it for the sour looks on other mom’s faces—but even more for the unstoppable grin on Henry’s.)

She was barely aware of anything during the awards ceremony—not until Henry was shoving their (surprisingly heavy) trophy in her hands.

Back in the locker room, the kids were passing the trophy around, admiring their medals, taking selfies, and Emma had to brush a tear away at the sight. It was more than she had hoped for at the start of the season. 

She turned away to a corner, so she wouldn’t embarrass Henry or something by getting too emotional, but Killian quickly swam into her vision. “What’d I tell you, Swan?” he said softly, reaching up to brush away a tear. “Bloody brilliant, love.”

“Please,” she scoffed, though it was a bit watery. “That winning play was all you. That was amazing.”

Killian blushed, the tips of his elfin ears turning pink. He was about to say something, but then a cry came from the team, who had suddenly gathered around them. “Hey, coaches!”

They both turned to look—and were immediately drenched in coolers of Gatorade. The kids began to whoop and holler and laugh, but Emma and Killian were frozen in place for a second.

Until she looked across at him, grinning at her through his (very wet) fringe 

If starting a hockey team had been a rash move, it was about to be topped—because she finally caved, grabbed him by the lapel of his coach-like sportcoat, and hauled him into her, finding his lips with hers. 

He tasted like—well, Gatorade, and he stiffened at first, but then wrapped his arms around her and deepened it. He kissed her like he meant it, and she gave it right back. It would probably throw a wrench in a lot of things, but she didn’t care anymore. It just felt good; it felt right.

They did eventually have to come up for air, and not just because the their impromptu shower was making their clothes stick to their skin uncomfortably (she couldn’t help but notice the red-tinged dampness of his chest hair through the open vee of his dress shirt and vest). Some of the kids were playfully gagging, but Henry gave them a thumbs up.

If someone had told Emma at the beginning of the season that she’d end it by kissing her assistant coach in a victory celebration, she’d have thought they were completely mad. But as she dragged Killian in for another kiss (of many more to come), she was so glad it was real.

[mxtxnovelrealm]

HOB Book Review Part One: Prologue and Chapter One

Intro: So I am obsessed right now with MXTX novels. I have the first two of all three series in the American physical adaption and I have them all on Kindle as well. And these are just my thoughts on Heaven’s official blessings Book One. I would like to note that I will be comparing the actual Novel to the donghaw and manhua and what and where I like it better. Over all a complete review chapter by chapter.

With that said let’s get to it.

The Prologue:

It’s probably the only part of the story that is not in Xie Lian’s point of view. I like the thought that the proluge is spoken about Xie Lian and it’s perhaps Hua Cheng’s words? The reason I think that is it’s written in admiration to Xie Lian. Or at least that’s what I got out of it? I like to point out that the English adabtion of the donghaw also has the VC of Hua Cheng narrating it. He also does a really good job of it and it as well.

That said It’s well written and I like that it explains a bit of the back story of Xie Lian and his first assentation to heaven. It tells the story without going into deep detail, only what we need to know to start the story.

It also gives us some questions. Now some of you may know the answer to those questions, as I understand there is an online translation of the book. (However I am trying my best not to read this beautiful story online and skip through. I really want to enjoy this story as much as I can by reading it for the first time with the physical books as they release. :D that said I have questions and please no spoilers. Hahaha!)

Anyway as I said the prologue leaves with some questions. It states that Xie Lian assend twice and is banished twice. That we all know. However it does not say what he did the second time to ascend back into heaven. Obviously something, or was it that when he was first banished it was a time limit? It also does not say how many years go by between the first two ascension. Only ‘many years later’ which could be anywhere from 10-100 years? My guess is less than 100 as later in the book Xie Lian states he hadn’t been in heaven for over 800 years. I am hoping that will be answered later in the story but if it’s not it’s not going to hurt me much either. I don’t think the amount of time matters as much as the reason why he was able to ascend a second time.

I also can’t wait to find out why he was Banished a second time and why it happened within 30 minutes of A ending. What had happened? That I know has to be answered later on. I like that the prologue has so many questions though. It makes it all the more exciting to want to read it.

In the Munhan it is said he started a fight with another Heavenly official. Yet in the book it just says he rampaged in full fury. It did not say he was fighting another but my guess is that what it was, as in the Dunghan it is also said he was in a fight with another.

Non the less I am looking forward to why that had happened. What made him angry and why was he fighting right off the bat? Did he do it on purpose? Perhaps. I honestly don’t know that answer and I am excited to find out.

The Prologue ends with the third ascension. Of course we don’t know what made him ascend again for a third time (not yet anyway) just that he did and it was an even bigger rumble.

Honestly I love the prologue. I love the little details it gives . It really bits you to the point you don’t want to stop reading. It also explains who our hero is as a person. At least one part of him. The Prologue to me reads like who ever is talking or narrating this part of the story is talking very highly of Xie Lian. It’s why I think this part is spoken by Hua Cheng.

The donghua had the prologue at the end of the first episode. Its animated beautifully and listing to Hua Cheng narrate it is one of my favorite parts. (At least in the English Its Hua Cheng. I am not sure in the original Chinese.)

Of course the manhua is beautifully drawn and it’s written simple. The writer of the manhua shortened it and made it simple and yet getting all the key elements. Regardless I think out of the three adaption I like the Book version the best as it goes through more detail however I do like the idea of it being narrated by Hua Cheng.

That being said I want to move onto Chapter one.

Okay so Chapter one starts three days later after he ascended. The Donghaw and Manhua both have it to where Ling Wen approaches Xie Lian right away, however but in the book it reads he has been there for three days already.

The manhua is the only one that is rather different than the other two. Right of the bat we see Xie Lian starting at the broken bell. Where in the book and Donghaw he is never shown the bell. Just told about it. However in the Donghaw we do see a nice animation of the bell being split by Mi Qing.

Now obviously after Ling Wen speaks with Xie Lian they enter the communication area. This part I am confused on. It is read like they enter by the mind. However I get the impression that they can see one another. At least sometimes. I am not sure about ‘private’ messages. When I first read the book I pictured it like an area they all gather and speak. That they were all physically there. However when I re-read it I got the impression they were only there by mind. Yet they can see each other.

I think…. Because when they are talking Xie Lian aplogised to Mu Qing and does not recognize him but when Nen Feng enters he recognizes him instantly. In the Donghaw we see Feng Xin enter the combination airway and is standing next to Xie Lian where everyone else is up behind a curtain. Almost like they are not physically there. To where the Manhua only has words like they are all speaking telepathically. So the communication thing confuses me a bit. I understand it is used by the mind but I am unclear if they can see you or not. My guess is they can unless they are in a private message? I may read it over again to see if I can get a better light of it.

Anyway, Xie Lian enters the communication area with Ling Wen and does not recognize Mu Qing. However he does recognize Feng Xin. The full story of how the three broke apart isn’t told yet. Only that Mu Qing left first and Feng Xin left after. Apparently Feng Xin stayed with Xie Lian until my guess an argument or disagreement took place? Whatever the reason after Xie Lian was banashed (again I am not sure if it’s the first or second time) they split up. However it seems that Mu Qing left first. Right after or right before the first banishment? However long it may be I am looking forward to the continuation of their back story later on. Non the less the book makes the encounters very awkward. Though I enjoyed reading it.

The book the conversation in the comincation area is more detailed. Both the Donghaw and Manhua shorten it with the later making it as brief as possible. Both the Donghaw and Manhua have this all happening at once that little time passes. However in the book it’s not until Xie Lian’s forth day that he returns to the mortal realm. Plus it seems that another three days pass before he makes it to his destination.

We see just how unlucky Xie Lian is as well. He apparently trips and hurts himself due to a cloud. In the Donghaw it makes it seem like something else happened, (and that may be.) However it is read that he actually gets hurt by a cloud.

Now I don’t know how a cloud can scratch or trip someone hahaha but somehow it does? That is the only reason I am questing this part. However if it did happen with Xie Lian stumbling due to a cloud and landing hard that … the poor guy.

Abyhow he gets to the little tea shop and that’s where he sees the butterfly.

Now I think this was an accident meeting. I think Hua Cheng had no idea Xie Lian was going to be there and they met by chance. Like he sends the butterfly over to confirm it is his Prince. Now I could be wrong. Maybe he already knew, but I have this idea that this meeting was a surprise.

I can just see Hua Cheng in the area to see if Qi Rong was there to beat his snot again and then suddenly he sees Xie Lian entering the city? Or maybe he heard Xie Lian was going to be in the area somehow but he wasn’t sure exactly where? Then just spots him? I really don’t know, but I do like that he uses a butterfly to see Xie Lian.

Like is It him? Here is my butterfly. Over all the fact that Xie Lian finds it cute is also adorable.

Then of course this is where Fu Yao and Nan Feng come in. Just randomly sitting at Xie Lian’s table. Thanks to some spoilers I stumbled on I know these two are actually Mu Qing and Feng Xin in disguise. However I think I would have figured it out non the less by the end of the book. It’s well written that it’s obviously them?

Clearly though their meeting is actually rather amusing and I enjoyed it. I think in the first chapter I didn’t stop smiling the whole time I read it. I mean I like the style of writing, I enjoy the flow of it all and the introduction of the characters.

The chapter ends with them in all wanting to find somewhere they can discuss about their mission.

It’s a simple chapter and it’s nice. The Donghaw and Manhua are roughly the same. No real complaints and I truly enjoyed it.

Ill review chapter 2 and maybe 3 tomorrow.

Feel free to message me to have a conversation, ask questions, or if you want more on my thoughts.

Thanks!!

[tigerkirby215]

5e Kayle, the Righteous build (League of Legends)

(Artwork by Jessica “OwleyCat” Oyhenart and Victor “3rdColossus” Maury. Made for Riot Games.)

You know I find it funny that I haven’t made a build for Kayle yet, given that I made Morgana awhile ago sort of as a spur of the moment thing. Despite the fact that I main support I really don’t play Morgana (can’t hit skill shots omegalul), but meanwhile I really like Kayle. She was one of the first champions I played along with Sona since I was told she was very similar to Terrorblade who was one of my favorite carries in DOTA 2. I dropped her for a bit after her rework but I picked her up again and she’s still super fun! I mean, shame she’s kinda trash in the meta.

Anyways it’s about time I make a build for her since Morgana was alone for so long, especially since she’s coming back along with Pentakill! Kayle’s probably the perfect character to play if you want to go Lawful Stupid, but out of respect for everyone else please don’t play her Lawful Stupid.

GOALS

On wings of fire, hope ascends - It’s the quest of all champions to eventually transcend mortals. Hopefully we’ll at least be able to fly after this.

Fire reveals truth - Kayle is also well-known for her Zealous attack speed, so we’ll need to be able to get out as much DPS as possible.

The worthy survive! - A little bit of Divine Judgement goes a long way. An explosion of flaming swords helps too.

RACE

This may come as a surprise to you but Kayle is an Aasimar. More specifically a Protector Aasimar, which is rather fitting seeing as she’s seen as The Protector in Demacia. As an Aasimar your Charisma increases by 2, but I’m going to increase your Constitution instead of the typical Wisdom increase from Protector Aasimar, for a bit more lane sustain.

You have Celestial Resistance to both your own Radiant damage and your sister’s Necrotic damage, have the Light Bearer feature for the Light cantrip, and can give yourself or an ally a Celestial Blessing thanks to Healing Hands. It only heals up to your level but it certainly helps!

You also get Darkvision and the Celestial language, and Radiant Soul at level 3 thanks to your Protector subrace, We’ll discuss that when we get to level 3.

ABILITY SCORES

15; CHARISMA - League of Legends body types, am I right? Sure you have a bit of an “evil must be purged” personality, but D&D Paladins like that a lot.

14; DEXTERITY - Something something medium armor. I would call what you wear Half Plate, which means that for once the choice of Medium Armor is accurate!

13; STRENGTH - This feels strangely familiar...

12; CONSTITUTION - Kayle is very squishy in League but I like not dying so...

10; INTELLIGENCE - You may have lived through history but most of that time was spent up in the stars. Basically we need everything else more.

8; WISDOM - Yeah I didn’t increase Wisdom with your racial increase because I was planning to dump it. Kayle’s fatal flaw is that she’s blinded by her sense of justice, which is a sign of poor Wisdom and critical decision making.

BACKGROUND

There isn’t a great background for “Half of the Aspect of Justice” but Celebrity Adventurer’s Scion works fairly well. You get proficiency with Perception as well as Performance (you were in Pentakill, after all!), a Disguise Kit (but I’d maybe replace that with something else or ditch it entirely), and two languages of your choice. (Pick your poison.)

Your background feature Name Dropping lets you tell people that your mom was actually a god. You might be able to find people who knew your mom (or more realistically worshiped her before... you know... you became half of her?) and folk might recognize that you’re... half a god, and give you free stuff.

(Artwork by Alvin Lee and Kan Liu. Made for Riot Games.)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - SORCERER 1

Starting off as a Sorcerer because Kayle is about as useless as a level 1 Sorcerer at level 1. (Also because CON saves are nice.) But you can also grab proficiency with Religion (you are a god, after all) and Intimidation. (Because you aren’t exactly nice.)

Sorcerers get to choose their Sorcerous Origin at level 1 and Divine Soul is like being a Cleric but you get to dump your Wisdom because you’re blind to morality. You get one free spell from your Divine Magic and I guess Bless makes sense since its attached to Law? Honestly there are other spells I’d recommend (Protection from Evil and Good would be helpful, and you can’t go wrong with either Healing Word or Guiding Bolt) but it’s honestly easier to just take Bless and call it there.

But of course since you get Divine Magic that means you get Spellcasting! You learn 4 cantrips from the Sorcerer list at level 1 such as Firebolt to smite the wicked, Sacred Flame for enemies with a lot of armor (but hopefully bad Dexterity), Thaumaturgy to make sure your words are heard, and Guidance because it’s good to provide aid to those who need it.

You also learn two spells from the Sorcerer list: we’ll be taking Mage Armor for the same reason you buy Doran’s Shield as a top laner (because laning phase sucks and you’re weak as hell at level 1), and we’ll also grab Healing Word for your Celestial Blessing. As a treat.

You are also Favored by the Gods, so if you miss an attack roll or fail a saving throw you can add 2d4 to the roll to potentially turn it into a success. Given that you’ll likely be making a lot of attack rolls later in this build it’s very useful to be able to give yourself some insurance.

LEVEL 2 - SORCERER 2

Second level Sorcerers get a Font of Magic for Sorcery Points equal to your Sorcerer level. For now all you can really do with them is get one of your spell slots back, but they’ll be more useful later on.

For something that’s useful right now take Ice Knife for the AoE burst of your Starfire Spellblade. Yes it does Cold damage, but you also shouldn’t have an AoE E by level 2. Hell you technically shouldn’t even be a ranged champion yet. We have to make compromises here.

If you want a single target Starfire Spellblade Guiding Bolt is a decent choice I suppose.

LEVEL 3 - SORCERER 3

Third level Sorcerers gain the power of the Aspects thanks to Metamagic. You learn two Metamagic options to change your spells in various ways: Quickened Spell will let you increase your attack speed to slay the unjust with Zealous fervor, and while it’s perhaps not the most practical choice Transmuted Spell will let you wield holy fire, instead of holy ice or whatever other damage type you pick up.

If you don’t care about doing specifically fire damage than Empowered Spell is a good choice to more effectively maximize damage.

As a Protector Aasimar your Radiant Soul lets you sprout wings as an action. For 1 minute you have a 30 foot flying speed and can add your Charisma modifier as Radiant damage to one target whenever you deal damage. It might not be much at level 3 but the extra damage from Starfire Spellblade adds up when you get more AP! Oh and to top it off you can also learn another spell like Misty Step, for Flash.

LEVEL 4 - SORCERER 4

4th level Sorcerers get the first of many Ability Score Improvements. Increase your uneven Charisma score as well as your Constitution score for nice, even, Lawful stats.

You can also learn another cantrip like Message to keep in team chat, as well as a leveled spell like Spiritual Weapon. Kayle summons hundreds of swords for her ultimate so I think it’s fine if you summon one sword for some more DPS.

LEVEL 5 - SORCERER 5

Normally I wouldn’t go out of my way to get 5th level spells but we kinda need Fly more than once per Long Rest. Sprout those wings or grant the gift of angelic ascension to an ally!

The bad witch Tasha also gave Sorcerers Magical Guidance, letting you spend a Sorcerery Point to reroll a failed ability check.

(Artwork by Zeen Chin. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 6 - PALADIN 1

I swear it wasn’t my intention to make two casters with Paladin levels one after another, but we’re doing it anyways because it’s not like Kayle wouldn’t be a Paladin. First level Paladins get Divine Sense to know of any villains who need justice, and Lay on Hands to save the righteous.

LEVEL 7 - PALADIN 2

Second level Paladins get to choose their Fighting Style. Normally I’d take Blessed Warrior for a character who’s more-or-less a pure caster but you kinda get too many Cleric cantrips as is, so we’ll settle for good ol’ Defense because you can’t go wrong with +1 AC.

Protection and Interception are also fine to help your friends if you’re willing to hold onto a shield (no reason not to), and if you want to do a funny joke you can take Blind Fighting because Justice is Blind.

But of course what we’re mostly here for is Spellcasting: sure you got the entire Cleric list at your disposal but Sorcerer spells known is very limited, so take the following from the Paladin list:

Command to force evildoers to grovel at your feet.

Detect Evil and Good to... detect evil and good.

Protection from Evil and Good to... yeah this is fairly obvious too.

Heroism to empower heroes.

Shield of Faith to protect the righteous.

You also get Divine Smite, which sure would be nice if you used your sword as a melee weapon. I mean if you want to hit someone in melee you can turn a spell slot into damage but I kinda have to wonder why would you.

LEVEL 8 - PALADIN 3

Third level Paladins get to choose their Sacred Oath. Honestly just about any Paladin Oath would work for Kayle, but an Oath of Redemption would probably be best after you failed to upkeep justice the first time. Along with adding Sanctuary and Sleep to your spell list you also get two Channel Divinity options: if you go for Emissary of Peace you can add a flat +5 to all your Persuasion checks for 10 minutes. But Rebuke the Violent works great as a recreation of Divine Judgment’s damaging effect! When a creature within 30 feet of you damages someone other than you they must make a Wisdom saving throw after you use this reaction. If they fail they will take the same amount of damage they dealt as Radiant damage, and if they succeed they will take half. This has no maximum limit so you can use it when an enemy nukes your allies to have them experience retribution! "Drown in holy fire!"

The vial witch Tasha also lets you Harness Divine Power with your Channel Divinity to regain a spell slot equal to half your proficiency bonus once per Long Rest. And finally you get Divine Health, because justice doesn’t take sick days.

(Artwork by John Yucedag. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 9 - PALADIN 4

4th level Paladins get another Ability Score Improvement so cap off that Charisma modifier, because we’re building AP in this build. Maxed out Charisma also means more prepared spells, but we’re going to wait for...

LEVEL 10 - PALADIN 5

5th level Paladins get an Extra Attack which sure would matter if you were actually swinging that sword instead of shooting Fire Bolts and Sacred Flames.

But what does matter is that you get second level Paladin spells! Along with Hold Person and Calm Emotions from the Redemption spell list (you should perhaps cast Calm Emotions on yourself at some point?) you can prepare spells like Aid to boost yourself and your allies, and Warding Bond (Tasha’s work once again) to take some damage for an ally. (Which is almost like making them immune to damage?)

LEVEL 11 - PALADIN 6

The only reason to multiclass into Paladin as a caster would be for Aura of Protection. Seeing as your Charisma modifier is maxed out already that means that you (and your allies within 10 feet) can add +5 to all their saving throws! I really don’t think I need to explain why that’s useful: your Constitution saves are now a +11 (meaning that if you take 22 damage or less you automatically succeed the Concentration check) and even your lowest save is still a +4!

You can also prepare one last spell but I’m actually going to take this time to remind you that Paladins are prepared spellcasters. Even though you have a relatively limited amount of Paladin spells be sure to swap them around to whatever’s the most useful for your task at hand. But if you must pick up a spell Detect Magic is never bad to have?

(Artwork by Alex “alexplank” Flores. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 12 - SORCERER 6

Now that the obligatory Paladin levels are done it’s time to go back to Sorcerer. Hope your party didn’t expect you to be the support because you’re only now getting Empowered Healing to spend a Sorcery point and reroll any healing that you or an ally within 5 feet performs. I mean by total level 12 healing numbers will actually get pretty big, so this becomes a lot more useful!

But speaking of healing we’ll be getting not that but Haste instead. While you can’t use it too well (can only use it to make a weapon Attack, Dash, Disengage, Hide, or Use an Object) you can turn your allies into an avenging angel! As long as you can keep your Concentration which I mean... you have a +11 to your CON save.

LEVEL 13 - SORCERER 7

Unfortunately there’s no spell to make someone completely immune to damage for one round (while also still letting them move as normal except the 9th level spell Invulnerability that you can only cast on yourself) so we’ll just have to settle for Death Ward keeping the target you cast this on alive after reaching 0 HP. No rain of holy swords either unfortunately.

LEVEL 14 - SORCERER 8

8th level Sorcerers get an Ability Score Improvement and I think it’s about time for us to grab Metamagic Adept for 2 more Sorcery points to use on your Metamagic options like Twinned Spell to spread your wrath amongst all, and Careful Spell to avoid hurting those allied to your cause.

Speaking of AoE damage Vitriolic Sphere may do Acid damage but it’s a great recreation of the AoE damage of a high level Starfire Spellblade.

LEVEL 15 - SORCERER 9

Behold the might of 5th level spells! Remember how I was a little disappointed that you didn’t have the ability to make flaming swords rain down from the sky? Here you go: Flame Strike! Sure it basically does the damage of Fireball (and hey feel free to grab Fireball if you’re so inclined) but it has the holy flair that’s to be expected of Kayle.

If you want something more interesting than “Radiant damage Fireball” Dawn is also a good spell choice.

LEVEL 16 - SORCERER 10

10th level Sorcerers get another Metamagic option! Seeing as weve already got plenty thanks to Metamagic Adept one of the few options left is Heightened Spell to make sure your foes tremble beneath your might! You can also grab another cantrip like Prestidigitation for more generalized divine power.

And finally there’s also plenty of great spells you can take but Dispel Evil and Good probably fits Kayle the best. Now is a great time to remind everyone that you’re more than welcome to make your own Kayle, and while what I take may be “accurate” it’s not even necessarily what I’d build if I was making the character.

(Artwork by West Studio. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 17 - SORCERER 11

11th level Sorcerers can finally ascend! I hope you kept your Paladin weapons because it’s time for Tasha’s Otherworldly Guise! Calling upon the power of the Upper Planes (or lower planes too I guess if you’re awful) you get:

Resistance to Radiant and Necrotic damage (which you already have. Oops.) (I mean Lower Planes would make you immune to Fire and Poison damage...)

Immunity to the Charmed condition.

A 40 foot flying speed.

+2 AC

The ability to use your Charisma to attack, meaning that you can finally swing a sword well!

And the ability to attack twice, which you already have.

And the cool part is that unlike Tenser’s Transformation you can cast spells and don’t Exhaust yourself after using this spell! If you want to finally use your Paladin levels to bright the fight to your opponents you finally have the power to do so!

LEVEL 18 - SORCERER 12

12th level Sorcerers get another Ability Score or Feat and I’m simply going to suggest the Tough feat. Even if Kayle doesn’t usually build health in League you can, and d6 hit die suck when it comes to actually surviving.

What? Did you expect another spell known? Nah fuck you lmao WoTC says no to Sorcerers having spells.

LEVEL 19 - SORCERER 13

13th level Sorcerers can learn 7th level spells and while this may seem like a copout I have none that I really want for Kayle. Pick whatever you think would be the coolest since you can make your own choices by level 19. (My personal vote for Kayle would be Fire Storm but you are kinda loading up on AoE spells.)

LEVEL 20 - SORCERER 14

Our final level is the 14th level of Divine Soul Sorcerer to finally ascend. You have Otherworldly Wings for a permanent 30 foot flying speed! You did it! You reached max level as Kayle! You’re now unstoppable!

FINAL BUILD

PROS

Kneel before the light! - Your spells known go up to 7th level, and your spell slots go up to 9th. I really don’t think I have to explain that a full leveled caster is extremely powerful.

What is dark in me, I will illuminate - Even your non-spellcasting has great utility. Both your Channel Divinity options are extremely useful, and a little bit of Lay on Hands healing never hurt anyone. Not to mention your Aasimar transformation providing a flat +20 to damage every turn while it’s active!

I am your salvation! - Even if you aren’t running up in melee range Paladin levels do help a ton for staying alive. +5 to all saves is no joke, especially when it means that your Concentration save sits at a whopping +13! (You have to take more than 26 damage to even have a chance at failing your Concentration check!)

CONS

Why have we wings, sister, if not to fly? - You’d think a high Charisma would at least make you good at socializing but... no you’re not even that. Proficiency in the “mean” Charisma skills and mediocre ability scores in everything other than Charisma means you’ll contribute very little other than divine wrath.

Wings of Immortal Flame, lift me from mortal temptation! - How much flight is too much flight? Between your Radiant Soul, Tasha’s Otherworldly Guise, and you know... the Fly spell you have quite a lot of ways to take to the skies which all become near-completely redundant by level 20.

Celestial justice, guide my blade - Ironically enough one of the biggest issues with this build is how long it takes to get online. The Paladin dip may keep you safe but it’s not making you stronger, and I doubt you’ll be sitting beside your friends like a support. If you don’t mind praying to darker powers Genie Warlock is actually a great choice to get considerably more damage (and “attack speed!”) with Eldritch Blast and easily accessible flight by level 6 in Warlock. (Celestial Warlock also exists if you want more healing utility and want to stay in flavor.)

Of course weakness is something to shed as you come closer to divinity, but remember that even if mortality makes you weak mortals are not. Your allies will fight by your side and its your duty to protect them, as they shall no doubt protect you. Treat them with respect and vanquish evil together! Because no one likes a lawful stupid top laner.

(Artwork by Atey Ghailan. Made for Riot Games.)

[steve0discusses]

S5 Ep 4: But His Name Backwards is Nomolos????

World is still kind of a mess, so lets go back to Yugioh, during an arc that is so incredibly tame that no one has died. Not even a little bit. No one has risked the destruction of the ecosystem with Pegasus’ historical fanart drawn on digital playing card. No angry gods have done really anything. They’re all on break.

Except for Pharaoh, but Pharaoh isn’t that angry anymore ever since the Orichalcos thing. He mostly just talks about card matches I couldn’t care less about because it’s Grandpa and Joey.

hey you know what bro just noticed that I haven’t noticed over these past 4 seasons--Look at Yugi and Yami’s hair.

Yugi’s hair has 3 extra floppy down bangs by his eyes. I just always assumed those were the same number as Pharaoh’s bangs--but turns out no, those are Pharoah’s streaks but flopped down.

Which means when he de-charges, his hair just flops over directly into his eyes.

And now I have an urge to animate something for the first time in years (spoiler: I do not have the time to animate this.) because WHY would they never animate this hair flop for us??? The POTENTIAL.

Grandpa spends most of the time saying “Joseph, can you guess what card I’m holding???” and Joey is like “Why would I tell you that? I’m trying to play a game? Would you stop explaining the rules? it’s getting kind of weird.” and I got a little bit of an insight into what the homelife of Yugi Muto must have been like growing up with a Grandpa who is just always talking about cards.

It does explain why Yugi plays so freakin slow, though.

(read more under the cut)

This is clearly just a visual gag but also maybe this is also how the Doctor just gets around?

Speaking of visual gags and getting around, it’s our two most inconsequential minibosses, refusing to leave the series.

Y’all let me know last time that we are in fact, still in America, and I guess this is proof of it, because there’s no other way they could have walked here. I mean Yugioh is real bad at geography but they seem to have a good grasp of a big ass ocean existing betwixt Japan and the US.

Not sure where they got those rad Hobbit outfits, though. If this is their new look, I’ll accept it.

(Yes, this is a new font. Again, I’m trying out stuff to try and make it accessible. I will figure this out before the season is over)

Honestly, I didn’t think Rex and Weevil could get much worse than being dead. Thought that maybe waking up in a hospital bed after joining the Big Bad would be enough of a wake up call to the direction their life is heading.

But, considering that this arc has no real villain so far other than a guy who likes the color purple and bathing in milk...maybe that’s fine. It’s not a BAD thing to play cards, necessarily. This doesn’t make them bad people...it’s what you do with those cards.

Like destroying a Caltrain with it, for instance.

Unless of course, the amount of energy it takes to do a card hologram is the same amount as an NFT, in which case I guess that would make them bad no matter who you play against. But we live in a universe with Noah in it, who probably had enough energy pumped into that orb to fuel like 15 Americas. Fossil fuels seem to be just fine in this universe.

In fact I don’t think it’s ever come up? Surprisingly, Seto Kaiba has never had to deal with an eco terrorist, unless you counted Raphael. That is hella rare for a 90′s early 00′s show. I feel like they were contractually obligated to have at least one fossil fuel episode.

Well, good for the Yugioh universe, who managed to solve the energy crisis off screen. Good for them.

PS Hawkins said this and afterward was like “I just want you kids to appreciate what you’re seeing here today.” and it’s like damn Hawkins. Condescend much? This old guy is like King of Throwing Shade While Appearing to be Helpful.

Anyway, the gimmick of Solomon Muto is that he plays a bunch of history cards. Arthur Hawkins was super excited about it, but I feel like the other kids were like “We straight up have never heard of any of these old ass cards for a reason.”

Bro has informed that this card also sucks ass IRL, and like...I’m not surprised.

(grandpa’s font has also changed to something he’s actually wearing, and to something that is way more legible.)

To think that during the time Grandpa spent trying to get this dragon working, he could have been researching the damn God Cards and helping Pharaoh figure out his past history. Youknow...that history stuff that he devotes his entire life to studying.

Course, maybe Grandpa was smart enough to know NOT do that. I feel like Grandpa putting the brakes on revealing Pharaoh’s history is reason enough to just not open that Pandora’s box, but that will be another arc, I guess. This one we’re just showing some ancient dragon merch to sell toys to kids IRL. Gotta have your episodes to remind you that Yugioh is in fact toys.

Also, Hawkins proceeded to point out to Yugi in a way without literally saying it, that Yugi doesn’t go home often enough to distract his Grandpa with cards.

Which Hawkins followed up by throwing shade at Joey Wheeler for the rest of the match, since he was the only one here who stans Grandpa. You can see who Rebecca gets it from, is what I’m saying.

Joey reveals his only motivation to be here--which should be to get a plane ticket. Like their only reason to be in this tournament is already done?

But his other motivation is silly.

uh huh.

Tristan really did lay this specific dunk in the show. He is being given a plane ticket to do nothing. Wow, Tristan.

At least Joey’s motivation isn’t based on fixing some girl. For once Joey is just doing this for himself and not for a relationship that will never happen for at least several years, or to be a Father for his oblivious Sister. Thank you, show. Course I say that, and there could be another Mai arc right around the corner.

Anyway, there really isn’t much else to say about this arc other than Joey has finally bested his mentor in a card game. Still can’t best Yugi or Pharaoh or Seto or hell, probably even Tea or Mokuba if they ever pulled out cards again...

...but he bested Grandpa, who got polished off by being beaten up by several thug-like holograms.

Not sure why he fell over other than...something in the holograms must be real in this universe. There’s no other reason this would happen!

(honestly I can’t handle Grandpa’s face. It looks. SO BAD. There’s something  offsetting about it that I really do not like, and I think it’s the eyes and the tiny nose and the very skeletal bone structure--I don't like it)

Like every person here is convinced that Yugi’s grandpa is one step away from keeling over and it’s low key hilarious to me. The man has died and been resurrected. You think Pegasus did that bad of a job??? Grandpa Muto will likely outlive all of you.

This show really can’t lift Joey without taking two more punches to get him back down. Like the show keeps telling me that Joey is a complete idiot, and he kind of is, but I want to point out that he is a talented idiot who was second in most of the tourney’s he’s been in and he should have killed Marik straight up if he wasn’t like struck by lightning first.

Yes, he got distracted and raced after Mai last season so he prematurely died, but that was clearly just a phase because I don’t see Mai here.

Yes, in the actual show, they each said “ohhhh” and it’s like...the brain damage on these kids. We need to get them back to school.

I think there’s like 30+ other characters introduced but the only ones I know are Rex, Weevil, Leon, and...the girl who hugged Yugi once? I don’t remember her name. But they’re probably next. I feel like this is a bit of a slower arc, but hey, if anything it’s easier for me to cap.

anyway, if you just got here, this is a link to read these in Chrono Order!

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

I’ll have you know I wrote this whole thing thinking Nomolos is a Fleet Foxes song and it hellllllllla got stuck in my head, but it turns out the word I was thinking of is Mykonos.

[lesbian-percy-weasley]

How To Make Your Crush Fall In Love With You In Three Easy Steps by Gay-Natasha-Saves-The-World on Ao3 (aka if you haven’t figured out it’s me yet I don’t know what to tell you)

Chapter 1: Acquire A Target

Ship: Perciver (as always)

Content warning: mild swearing but that’s expected

Summary: Percy was a nerd who couldn’t hold a conversation to save his life and Oliver he had to somehow make him his

AN: This is the prequel to the Christmas tree au fic because I always write prequels for some reason

Percy was dreading the new semester. Not only did the school mess up his whole schedule, taking him out of AP literature and put him into the normal class, they also refused to fix it despite his pleas. He had been complaining about this to anyone who would listen to his rants.

“What useful discussions could I possibly have in this class? They barely even care about what they’re reading.” Percy complained to his friends before school started. “It’s only 4 months, Percy, plus it's an easy A.” Penny replied lightheartedly. “I don't take classes for an ‘easy A’. And we’ve already read all these books in the first semester. This is going to be my living nightmare.” He sighed as the bell for the first period rang. Penny gave him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder as he headed to junior English.

He entered Mr. Lupin’s classroom trying to hide the awkwardness he felt. Now, He had nothing against the teacher. He enjoyed his class last year, but AP literature was leagues ahead of the other classes so he would be doing a lot of reviewing and not a lot of learning. He found no point in it.

The whiteboard clearly stated they had to choose new seats for themselves. Since Percy was one of the first in the class, the coveted window seat was open. He put his coat on the back of the chair and sat down.

Clearly either everyone else had a friend in this class or Percy gave off bad energy because the other seat at his table was still unoccupied and almost everyone else was in class. He told himself he didn’t really care, after all, it would mean less chance of people annoying him, but if he was being honest it did hurt a little bit.

It was about 30 seconds after the bell rang when the door swung open. A clearly out of breath student walked in. He looked around and saw the only open seat was the one right next to Percy.

“Is this seat taken?” He asked Percy, who was already focused on his laptop. He gave a quick head shake in response and sat down next to him. And with that class started.

“Good morning, class. I hope you like your seat partners because, after last semester's fiasco, I’m only letting people change seats in certain situations.” Mr. Lupin explained as he walked away from his desk and towards the front of the room. Percy didn’t even want to know what happened before. In AP Literature they didn’t even have assigned seating. Strange.

Percy was kind of half-listening as he was too occupied with his own thoughts. He was listening enough to know the next book they were reading was Jekyll and Hyde. He had already read it last semester and wasn’t particularly fond of it. Good thing he saved his notes so he wouldn’t have to read them again.

“And so your first project with your new seat partner is to make a slideshow about the life of Robert Louis Stevenson. Don’t worry I won’t make you present if everyone takes this seriously.” Mr. Lupin finished, leaving the class to their own devices.

“Well, it looks like we’re partners. I’m Oliver by the way.” He turned towards Percy who was fishing his laptop out of his bag. “I guess we are. My name is Percy.” He said, extending his hand, which Oliver promptly shook.

“So, were you listening to the teacher?” Oliver asked. Percy chuckled. “Not really but I already read Jekyll and Hyde last semester so I didn’t really need to.” He opened slides on his laptop to at least start on the project.

“Oh,” Oliver responded. He didn’t remember seeing Percy last semester so the class he was in was probably ahead. “What did you think of it?” Might as well try to gauge the amount of pain he’d feel for the next few weeks. “I thought it was Frankenstein for people who hate women,” Percy said without much emotion.

“Well, I haven’t read either of them.” Oliver laughed. “Maybe you should then.” Percy shrugged. It was clear Oliver was trying to stall doing the project. Percy honestly didn’t mind doing the bulk of the project, he was expecting it, but it would be decent to let him focus so he could get it done.

Oliver noticed this and shut up. He tried to help when he could. Googling a few facts, formatting slides, but Percy did a lot of the work. Before either of them knew it, the slides were three-quarters of the way done and the class was over. Percy quickly put his stuff away and walked out before Oliver could even process the bell rang. If Percy was gonna be like this the whole semester, he wasn’t gonna enjoy it. He wondered if his table partner being a know-it-all, unfriendly prick would constitute ‘certain situations’ to Mr. Lupin. Probably not. At least he will get good grades on group projects.

The next few weeks went by without much incident. Percy had stopped complaining so much about the class to his friends' delight. And he had also warmed up to Oliver a bit more. He helped him with a lot of the work that came with Jekyll and Hyde. At least his grade was improving in one class so his parents don’t have that to use against him.

Percy was actually starting to enjoy the class because of Oliver. He couldn’t help but smile at the thought of their chats. They weren’t stimulating like the ones with his other friends but maybe it was a good thing. Oliver was someone he could just talk to.

But Percy knew they were different and that after the school year was over it was unlikely they would interact much. They led different lives that would’ve never crossed each other’s path if Percy’s schedule was messed up. It was unlikely they would have another class together next year so he was trying to make the most of this.

One day Oliver found himself in the library during lunch. It was extremely unlike him but he needed a book for history class so it was as good of a time as any. While he was looking through the section on the industrial revolution he noticed Percy sitting at a table with his friends.

“Cinema peaked with But I’m A Cheerleader and you cannot convince me otherwise.” The girl sitting next to Percy exclaimed. He thinks her name is Penny but he wouldn’t bet money on it. But that didn’t matter, he was more focused on Percy. The way he was trying to hold back his laughter. Oliver couldn’t describe it in any way other than enchanting.

He didn’t really understand this. Percy was his friend, of course, but over the past few days, his feelings started to change. He wanted to be the person to make Percy laugh like that. He wanted to make him happy. ‘Holy shit, I’m in love with Percy.’ A shocking realization.

He didn’t even realize he was staring at him until Percy waved at him. He waved back and quickly walked away. “That was fucking creepy.” He mumbled to himself. It was likely that Percy didn’t even like him in that way. He had to find a way to make him somewhat desirable. And he knew exactly where to start.

He walked towards the fiction section. It was organized by the author's last name. Fuck what was the author’s name. He brought out his phone and did a quick search. The S’s were on another shelf so he went by scanning them. Sa, Se, Sh, bingo. He picked up the last copy that was in the library and went to the front counter. If Percy wasn’t going to fall for him at least he would get smarter after this.

[crabbng]

did this on twitter for hana and bon! i’ll put all their answers under the cut, please enjoy <3

HANA:

1. what's their favorite beverage - alcoholic and/or non-alcoholic? hana likes nice, comforting warm drinks like hot chocolate and apple cider, he hasn't really had experience with alcoholic drinks 2. what's their favorite flavor? (spicy, sweet, sour, etc.) umami tbh, some nice hearty savory stew flavors 3. what's their favorite food? BEEF Clapping hands sign STEW Clapping hands sign he also like sweets, pastries and candies and whatnot 4. breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, snacks - which do they look forward to the most? dinner cause he imagines it as a family meal, and also it's the heartiest meal 5. do they have a food or flavor they absolutely hate? bland things like.. boiled green beans.. like.. wet tasteless vegetables.. he is not a fan but who is tbh 6. can they tolerate spicy food? yeah! he likes some good heat in his meals 7. what is their favorite animal? DRAGONS! cause they're cool. also... because baby. 8. what do they wear to bed? boxers or nothing in his own home, in the castle tho he wears like. pj bottoms. 9. what position do they like to sleep in? curled up around a pillow or in a blanket, or flopped on his belly 10. are they a morning person or a night owl? he would like to be a morning person, but he tends to get excited about whatever he's working on and accidentally staying up late, which then makes him sleep in late.. 11. are they a heavy sleeper or do they wake up easily? HEAVY SLEEPER. the boy sleeps like a rock. 12. it's a rainy day, what will they do cooped up inside all day? hana has a WHOLE ROOM of stuff to work on. he tries to get old tech up and running again (with.. limited resources) or to get it to be useful in other ways. 13. do they have a favorite scent or smell? honestly... musty smell of city that was cut off and unused for a thousand years. 14. what do they smell like? do they wear perfume or cologne? a little bit sweaty, a little musty from hanging out in an abandoned city, a little like oil, wood shavings.. he smells like whatever he's been working on. he tries to just smell neutral around other people. 15. baths or showers? BATHS! BUBBLES! RELAX TIME!! taking time just to be hana. nice. 16. how good are they at cooking? it's not gourmet or anything but he can cook a tasty meal. he's worse at baking but he's practicing!! 17. what's their favorite time of year and why? winter!!! pretty snow.. relaxing quiet.. getting to go inside and get all warm and cozy.. nice. 18. do they have a favorite holiday? tbh i dont know what holidays there are in kos world... i oughta think of that.. but anything with people getting together and celebrating together is something he'd like to participate in someday 19. do they prefer buying or receiving gifts? buying!!!! hana loves giving gifts. tbh he doesn't receive a lot of gifts. maybe like.. a jar of jam one time and it made him cry. he kept the jar. 20. how tall are they, and how do they feel about their height? 4' even. he's fine with his height tbh, his insecurities come in when he thinks about what OTHER people think about his height. he definitely recognizes that he looks different than everyone he's been around. 21. can they play any instruments? not really.. he made a guitar once. was NOT good at it. 22. do they have a nice singing voice? NO! cant keep a tune to save his life, but he's the only one (besides baby) who's heard him sing so it really hasn't mattered 23. do they talk to themselves? YES! it could seem like he's talking to baby, but really... she can be asleep or somewhere else and he's just still talking to himself. who else does he have to talk to?! let him live. 24. do they enjoy music? what kind? tbh he probably enjoys "old timey" music he found in the ancient city so like.. synth pop LMAO 25. do they make friends easily? yes! surprisingly, from his popularity in the town. he had a bad first impression whoops. but he's just very charming and sweet and wants to be your friend. 26. surprise birthday party! how do they react? crying. happy crying. but a lot of crying. he won't stop. please stop crying hana. second surprise party would go over better, he'd just cry at the beginning and then have fun at the party. 27. what is their favorite flower, if they have one? hydrangea.. symbolize heartfelt emotions 28. how does your character feel about wearing jewelry? neutral? i like putting him in a lot of jewelry, but it's not something he'd do himself. besides like. his ear and nose piercings (and the other one lol) those are kind of special. he's had those since before he can remember 29. if they wear jewelry, what's their favorite piece? his teal earrings! he was gifted those (one of the like 2 gifts he's received lol) by someone very important to him 30. fashion forward or fashion disaster? fashion neutral? he's definitely not fashionable when he dresses himself (in the clothes he made himself lmao) but he's not like.. offensively disastrous 31. what kind of underwear does your character wear? boxer briefs? for comfort. that's hana's goal picking out his own clothes. comfort. 32. do they wear makeup? what kind? not regularly but he's not against it. he likes looking pretty. he likes eyeliners especially but will sit there and let u put whatever on his face. 33. do they paint their nails? HELL YEAH he paints his toenails since he works with his hands and it'd chip off. after bath nail painting time. paints baby's claws too. 34. are they quick to get haircuts or do they often let it grow out? after his introduction to the townspeople with his hair that had been grown out for years and NOT well taken care of.. he keeps up with haircuts now. he doesn't want to give people reasons to dislike him lmao 35. do they know how to whistle? through the front gap in his fangs yes 36. or how to braid hair? he knows how to braid his own hair for sure. he hasn't had other hair to practice on but he would know how to braid like.. leather cord or stuff for other crafts projects. so i think he'd be good at it. he'd learn like fancy patterns and such 37. are they scared if anything in nature - bugs, snakes, lightning, being on the water, etc.? lightning and storms definitely. he spent his formative years under a mountain, safe from all that, any sort of dangerous weather freaks him out. 38. have they ever thought they were about to die? not that he remembers. but there were times. 39. how do they react to getting sick? a big baby. snuggled up in a thousand blankets with chicken noodle soup and hot teas. 40. are they afraid of blood? not especially? he's been injured before and had to patch himself up. bad injuries tho... lots of blood..... he wouldn't do great with that. 41. how do they earn money? hana builds and repairs stuff for the town mostly in exchange for produce and such. he doesn't really.. have money. 42. are they satisfied with their occupation or long to do something else? he enjoys helping people, so in that way he's satisfied. he'd rather people were more interested in his side job of repairing old tech and making his own tech stuff but... that's not legal. 43. how creative are they? quite creative! he has a number of different crafting hobbies and is always looking for more. he's not great at like.. like if you gave him a paintbrush and were like 'paint' he would just paint whatever was in front of him. not some imagined thing. 44. do they know how to draw? how skilled are they? he's good at like.. accurately drawn schematics? technical drawings. i dont think he would be great at like. portraits tho. like. he could probably draw an accurate face but it'd like completely lifeless. 45. what do they carry around with them during the day (ie in their pockets, a bag, a purse...) 1) a baby 2) his tablet, that's what's with him all the time.. except rn in the story.. when he is without both.. :( 46. do they have a sweet tooth? OH YEAH. he doesn't get a lot of sweets where he is (he's working on learning how to bake them) so he really enjoys good sweets when he gets his hand on them 47. haute cuisine or cheap eats? hana likes good homemade food, i guess cheap eats would be the closer of the two 48. do they know how to swim? HONESTLY.. PROBABLY NOT.. boy has not been around water much 49. do they have any scars? how did they get them? nah! at this point he is more or less scar free. i'm sure he has a few tiny ones from like.. when baby was playing a bit too wildly or something and he got a nasty little scratch but nothing like... big. 50. what kind of handwriting do they have? neat, messy, cursive, MESSY. like a kid who was never really taught how to write. he usually writes on his tablet, which has been taught how to recognize his handwriting and converts it to readable text.

BON:

bon can be hard so on questions where it's not really applicable now (like.. favorite foods and the like), i'll just go with what WOULD have been the case. when he was younger. 1. what's their favorite beverage - alcoholic and/or non-alcoholic? flavored sparkling waters, he likes the bubbles. he likes high alcohol content drinks, so it does its job. 2. what's their favorite flavor? (spicy, sweet, sour, etc.) he likes fresh, citrus-y flavors, whatever category that slots into. 3. what's their favorite food? THE ALL POWERFUL ORANGE, a good orange is a treat for bon 4. breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, snacks - which do they look forward to the most? snacks, cause he can generally eat them alone and not be judged 5. do they have a food or flavor they absolutely hate? puddings and yogurts and stuff like that, soft foods 6. can they tolerate spicy food? a fair amount, but he does have limits (he will not admit it) 7. what is their favorite animal? farm animals, especially working animals, they're nice and usually calm, bon likes that 8. what do they wear to bed? either whatever he's wearing at the time he knocks out or nothin 9. what position do they like to sleep in? huddled in a corner 10. are they a morning person or a night owl? BOTH! he's not a sleeper. if you find him sleeping its because he was probably up the past 3+ days and he just knocked out. 11. are they a heavy sleeper or do they wake up easily? if he's sleeping cause he hadn't slept the past week, he doesn't wake up easily, but if it's a purposeful rest he wakes up to a pin dropping. also re: bon sleeping, he technically can go without sleep indefinitely but he has to go into his lava form to kinda.. refresh his stats so to speak 12. it's a rainy day, what will they do cooped up inside all day? pre-incident: read! study! practice magic. post-incident: think about mortality and stare at a wall 13. do they have a favorite scent or smell? fresh air on a cool day. but he's also nostalgic about the stink smell of a tavern. 14. what do they smell like? do they wear perfume or cologne? ash and smoke. and on special days ;) burnt flesh ;) he doesn't wear perfume or cologne, he just smells weird all the time. 15. baths or showers? showers, a quick spray down and then he's out of the water as quick as possible. 16. how good are they at cooking? QUITE! bon can cook and he can cook good. he's stayed with a lot of families over the years and learned a lot of good tricks and recipes, plus what he learned from when he was growing up and would somewhat regularly cook for himself. 17. what's their favorite time of year and why? summer. he does well in the heat. also the days are longest. bon likes it when it's light out. 18. do they have a favorite holiday? bon doesn't like holidays! cause holidays come with traditions. and traditions come with expectations. and expectations come with punishments. 19. do they prefer buying or receiving gifts? giving, i guess? receiving gifts can come with a price. but it's nice to give a gift and know you expect nothing in return. 20. how tall are they, and how do they feel about their height? bonk is 5'9", he's fine with it 21. can they play any instruments? YES!!! he can play a variety, his favorites are harp and fiddle, though he also can play a mean flute, though that was mostly from his upbringing so he doesn't like it all too much 22. do they have a nice singing voice? YES!!!!! he has a most beautiful voice. he can rouse a room with a good folk song or bring a room to tears with a mournful ballad 23. do they talk to themselves? ahahaha yes. we have already seen this in comic. bon struggles with differentiating between reality and his.. imagination i guess. so. that can often lead to him just talking to himself. 24. do they enjoy music? what kind? yes! bon enjoys all sorts of music, but mostly songs you can sing along to. bar songs, shanties, ballads, he enjoys them all. he like songs that have an emotion to them if that makes sense. 25. do they make friends easily? NO. bon is both unfriendly and untrusting. however. if you are nice to him but once........... he Will die for you. and he will die for any child. loves childs. 26. surprise birthday party! how do they react? POORLY. either confused why people thought it would be a fun idea or angry that he was caught off guard. now... if you do it right..... have the surprise just be like.. a cake waiting at home or something.. a quiet night.. he will appreciate it. he Will die for you. 27. what is their favorite flower, if they have one? daffodil.. rebirth.. eternal life.. unrequited love.. perfect 28. how does your character feel about wearing jewelry? he's not a huge fan tbh. makes him feel like someone's shiny show piece. but he does like an earring or two or three 29. if they wear jewelry, what's their favorite piece? he doesn't wear jewelry regularly :( but he likes earrings! he likes little hoops that go on the top of his big ears 30. fashion forward or fashion disaster? more fashion forward than a disaster. he doesn't dress himself like.. super well.. cause his clothing tends to not last super long, but he knows how to look good 31. what kind of underwear does your character wear? NONE he's flying free 32. do they wear makeup? what kind? again, not any regularly, but will rock a good eyeliner if offered 33. do they paint their nails? no lmao good luck painting his lava nails, he'll melt ur brush, oh god and im sure the smell of burning nail polish is just awful 34. are they quick to get haircuts or do they often let it grow out? he cuts his hair pretty frequently (not well) he cuts like.. parts at a time. like 'hm this section looks a lil long' CHOP~ 35. do they know how to whistle? like a got damn bird 36. or how to braid hair? yes! he is good at this. 37. are they scared if anything in nature - bugs, snakes, lightning, being on the water, etc.? not really? he's had a lot of experience living outdoors so things that may have scared him at one point have been dealt with and most things it's like 'well i cant die so it really doesnt matter', cold and rain it's like 'well ill get real hecked up for a while but.. whatever' 38. have they ever thought they were about to die? YES! quite a few times, though not anymore lmao. one of the first times he ran away from home and nearly starved to death, the... incident, and when he was turned into a basbeo, just to name a few 39. how do they react to getting sick? pretending like he's not. pushing himself too hard until he cannot pretend anymore. nowadays tho.. he just turn into lava man and boom. all better. 40. are they afraid of blood? nah, he's seen plenty of it by this point to just not even register it. not even mostly his own! see this isn't a sad answer. 41. how do they earn money? HE DON'T! what use does a dog have for money u feel me 42. are they satisfied with their occupation or long to do something else? bon was basically a travelling bard at one point and oh boy he longs to go back to those days. his current occupation of 'guy who steals, kidnaps, murders and destroys on command' just isn't fulfilling for him. 43. how creative are they? i'd say pretty creative. he's not really doing anything with it right now, but he's a pretty imaginative guy. 44. do they know how to draw? how skilled are they? i think so! i figure that would be part of his lessons when he was younger. so he's probably.. too good at it. opposite of hana, where he's be good at portraiture and like.. pretty scenes. this also makes me think of little bon running around and putting lil devil horns on his mom's portraits 45. what do they carry around with them during the day (ie in their pockets, a bag, a purse...) doesn't really have.. a lot of things.. in the same vein tho, that jacket he wears, he's had for a while, and it's been through a lot now (i.e. the missing bottom) but. it's something he repairs and takes care of. it's special to him. for reasons. 46. do they have a sweet tooth? not especially, he doesn't like Sugar Sweet stuff, but he does like.. apples n stuff. he'll eat a peach croissant and enjoy it. everything in balance. 47. haute cuisine or cheap eats? cheap eats: more food for less 48. do they know how to swim? yes but he doesn't do it anymore cause he'll get too cold and seize up and lava man will just become a rock. he can use like.. hot tubs and very warm baths. he CAN enjoy those. 49. do they have any scars? how did they get them? well! bon had scars previous to his charred limbs (you'll see them soon) from being burned. because of.. reasons. i never know how depressing to get when talking about bon :( anyways, his charred limbs didn't happen immediately after becoming a basbeo. it basically happens when there's like.. a struggle for control between bon, his elemental, and who or whatever (maighstir, priomh, tera, his cuffs, etc.) is trying to control bon's transformation abilities. like either trying to use more power than he's being allowed, or to resist using it at all. they feel weird and crusty and leathery and warm! so the last one is kind of nice. it is unpleasant to hold his hand. 50. what kind of handwriting do they have? neat, messy, cursive, BOY CAN'T WRITE ANYMORE! he used to have really neat cursive handwriting like.. calligraphy style.

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #132: Mordred (Rider)

It’s surf’s up on today’s Fate and Phantasms, but instead of CGI penguins we’re making Rider Mordred! We’re bringing the big waves and some fancy footwork to keep you afloat while your enemies all sink to the bottom.

Check out his build breakdown below the cut, or his character sheet over here!

Next up: Isn’t it super weird seeing your teacher on vacation?

Race and Background

 Mordred’s a Variant Human, giving him +1 Dexterity and Constitution, Nature proficiency so you’ll know when a big wave’s coming, and the Martial Adept feat for your first surfing tricks. Evasive Footwork adds you superiority die (a d6) to your AC while you move, and a Pushing Attack lets you lean into the wave when you strike, dealing 1d6 extra damage, and forcing a strength save (DC 8+proficiency+your dexterity) on the target, or they get pushed up to 15 feet away. You can use either of these maneuvers once per short rest.

Taking up surfing makes you an Athlete, giving you proficiency with Acrobatics and Athletics. (You also get land vehicle proficiency, but you could easily argue for sea vehicles instead.) You also get the Echoes of Victory feature, giving you a 50% chance of finding a fan in a city within 100 miles of your hometown who’ll give you shelter or info.

Ability Scores

If you want to stay on a surfboard for any amount of time, your Dexterity has got to be top notch. You also need a good sense of balance- that’s Wisdom. Your Constitution is also pretty good, because let’s be honest, wiping out hurts. Your Charisma isn’t bad, though it might be hard to hear you over the waves. Your Strength is pretty low: you’re not weak, but it’s hard to get leverage on a floating piece of wood. Finally, dump Intelligence. I don’t even need an excuse for this, int was your dump stat normally too.

Class Levels

1. Monk 1: If you want to fight people while also balancing on a piece of wood, monk’s probably your best bet, let’s just be real here. At first level you get Unarmored Defense, giving you an AC of 10 plus your dexterity mod plus your wisdom mod so you can still duke it out in a bikini. You also get Martial Arts, now all your monk attacks deal at least 1d4, and that grows as you level up. You can also use dexterity instead of strength when you hit people with monk weapons or your fists, and you can make an unarmed attack as a bonus action if you attack as your main action. There’s no rule saying you can’t kick them as you surf over them, so freestyle a bit. I hear judges love that.

You also get proficiency in Strength and Dexterity saves, as well as two monk skills. History and Religion are kind of vanilla servant skills, but you already got all the physical stuff you need from your background.

2. Monk 2: At second level, monks get Ki points each short rest equal to your monk level. You can spend these to dash, disengage, dodge, or attack twice as a bonus action. You also get Unarmored Movement, bumping up your walking speed by 10 feet. I’m not entirely sure how that affects your surfing, that’s something your DM has to figure out. 

You also get a Dedicated Weapon at the end of each rest, letting you turn a nonmonk weapon into a monk weapon for your martial arts, as long as you’re proficient in it and it isn’t two-handed. I’d argue a surfboard is versatile since you can wield it no-handed, but we still need that proficiency. We’re working on it.

3. Monk 3: If you want to surf good you gotta be able to sway with the waves, and there’s no monk better at swaying than the Drunken Master. You get proficiency in Performance for cool tricks, and you also learn the Drunken Technique. When you use your flurry of blows (that’s the attack twice thing from last level), you also disengage, and your walking speed increases by 10 feet. 

You can also Deflect Missiles, reducing the damage from ranged attacks and possibly throwing it back as a reaction, but that’s not really relevant.

4. Monk 4: Fourth level monks get their first Ability Score Improvement, and we’re grabbing the Tavern Brawler feat. Honestly, this feat is almost completely useless to us. The +1 to constitution or strength probably won’t help either, your unarmed strikes already use d4s, and you spend your bonus actions doing a lot more than grappling. But it does give you proficiency with improvised weapons, meaning your surfboard is a go for monkification!

You can also Slow Fall as a reaction to make your wipeouts a bit less painful.

5. Druid 1: Surfing is fun and all, but you can’t expect a wave everywhere you go, especially not inland.

Or can you? Druids can tip the scales a bit thanks to their Spells, which they cast and prepare using their Wisdom. Also, they learn Druidic. It’s a language.

You get the cantrips Frostbite and Shape Water for some early wave control (more of a splash really) and you can also cast first level spells now. Create or Destroy Water will continue the liquid theme we’ve got, and you can also cast stuff like Protection from Evil and Good and Cure Wounds if you want to play paladin.

6. Druid 2: Second level druids pick a druid circle to join, and if you want the gnarliest waves you gotta head to the Coast, brah! Specifically, the Circle of Land, which gives you a Natural Recovery, letting you regain some spell slots on a short rest once per short rest. The combined level you can gain is half your druid level, rounded up.

You can also use your Wild Shape twice per short rest to transform into a non flying, non swimming creature of CR 1/4 or less. That’s not very in character though, so you can also use it to summon a Wild Companion without using components or spell slots.

You also learn Guidance for slightly better wave riding. Turn off your targeting computer, Mordred...

7. Druid 3: Third level druid, second level spells. You also get new circle spells that you don’t need to prepare, Mirror Image and Misty Step. Copying yourself isn’t in character, but you could probably flavor the latter spell as a really cool surfboarding trick though.

You could also cast Enhance Ability for even better tricks, Pass without Trace because it’s hard to track a piece of wood, and Heat Metal. You have a history with iron and heat, and it’s not a peaceful one.

8. Monk 5: Fifth level monks get an Extra Attack each time they attack as an action, and they can turn an attack into a Stunning Strike, forcing a constitution save (DC 8+proficiency+Wisdom) or the creature they hit gets stunned for a round. You might think not being able to do stuff and giving your enemies advantage on all their attacks would make it hard to stay alive. 

You’d be right.

9. Druid 4: Back in druid for a bit, your wild shape gets a bit better, giving you swimming options and creatures of CR 1/2 or lower. I mean, you can’t prove Mordred can’t turn into a frog. You also get another ASI, so bump up that Wisdom for more AC, stronger spells, and better stunning strikes.

You can also cast Create Bonfire for a summer cookout!

10. Druid 5: Fifth level druids get third level spells, and this is the level you really come into your own. Your circle spells are Water Breathing and Water Walk, which do exactly what you think they do, and they are useful, but we’re here for some other stuff. 

You can also get Tidal Wave to create a 30′x10′x10′ wave, forcing a dexterity save for all creatures in that area. On a failure, creatures in the area take bludgeoning damage and get knocked prone. Also, the water spreads out afterwards-an attack and an escape route all in one!

If you’d rather a more permanent swell, Wall of Water gives you a wall. Of water. Ranged attacks through the wall are at disadvantage, fire attacks deal half damage, and cold based attacks can freeze the wall.

11. Monk 6: Sixth level monks get Ki-empowered Strikes, making your fists magical against resistances. You also get more acrobatic on your board thanks to your Tipsy Sway. You can Leap to Your Feet after a wipeout, going from prone to standing in only 5 feet. You can also Redirect Attack by spending a ki point when a creature misses you with a melee attack, spending it at another nearby creature instead.

12. Monk 7: Your boarding’s gotten fast enough you can outrun explosions. Your Evasion means failed dexterity saves deal as much damage to you as successes would, and successes deal no damage at all.

You also gain a Stillness of Mind, letting you end a charming or frightening effect as an action.

13. Monk 8: Use this ASI to bring your Dexterity even higher, for a better AC and stronger attacks. Who knew monks like dex?

14. Druid 6: Bouncing back to druid one last time gives you the Land’s Stride, letting you ignore difficult terrain that isn’t made by magic. You also ignore damage from regular plants, and have advantage on saves caused by magical ones. That’s great, because going around on a deserted island with just a bikini on would otherwise be a terrible idea.

15. Druid 7: Your fourth level circle spells are Freedom of Movement and the reason we’re still in this class, Control Water. As long as the spell lasts (up to 10 minutes with concentration) you can control a 100 foot cube of water, causing it to flood, part for your nonsurfing friends, change the flow of water, or create a whirlpool. Flooding is particularly powerful- if done it water, it instead creates a 20′ tall wave that passes through the entire area, with a 25 percent chance of capsizing any Huge or smaller vehicles it catches, and carrying them to the other side. The wave even automatically repeats each turn, so yeah, you can basically shoot down any boat in the game with this.

16. Druid 8: Your last level of druid lets you fly with your wild shape, and you get another ASI for a stronger Wisdom score. You’re kicking up some serious waves now, so you have to make sure your balance is top-notch.

17. Monk 9: Ninth level monks get an Unarmored Movement Improvement, letting you walk on water and walls. Paddling’s for dorks, just run out to where the action is! (You do have to get to solid ground before the end of your turn, but your board probably counts)

18. Monk 10: Tenth level monks have a Purity of Body that makes them immune to disease and poison. Nobody wants to get sick during the summer.

19. Monk 11: Your last Drunken Master goodiebag contains Drunkard’s Luck, letting you spend 2 ki points to do a cool flip, negating disadvantage on an ability check, attack roll, or save.

20. Monk 12: Your capstone level is another ASI, maxing out your Dexterity. It’s not a flashy way to end things, but it is pretty useful.

Pros:

Like a lot of monks, you’re pretty hard to hit, with an AC of 19, the ability to disengage while still hitting people, and a solid +30 to your movement speed while in combat. It’s not even a matter of  your armor being good when people just can’t keep up.

Tidal Wave and Control Water are honestly just really good spells, albeit you need a water themed adventure to get the latter’s full power. Also, if you try to surf on your own wave your DM is legally required to give you inspiration, that’s just science.

Not only is your mobility good in combat, if you’re willing to bend canon a bit you can also combine it with your wild shape for utility. A +30 to movement plus being a bird can make moving around much easier.

Cons

Waves are cool and all, but that still means you have a heavy focus on water. If you’re going up against something that resists cold damage, or you’re in a setting that’s landlocked, you’re going to have a bad time.

Taking those druid levels slows your monk progression, and it doesn’t really pay off for this build until you get third level spells. That means you’re dumping a lot of resources into payoff way in the future, while slowing down your AC and martial arts growth.

Using a surfboard as a weapon is really cool, but how effective it is will depend entirely on what the DM makes it. If you have confidence in your DM, this isn’t an issue, but we like to make builds with the least amount of DM caveat as possible here.

[aion-rsa]

15 Best SNES Platformers Ever

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Platformers have long been an entry point for new gamers. Video games may have greatly expanded in scope over the years and now offer so many different genres and experiences that it’s nearly impossible to keep track of them, but that’s actually a big part of the reason why it’s still so much fun to look back at these timeless games where the main objective was often to simply jump from one place to the next.

There is no console that celebrated the brilliance of the platformer better than the Super Nintendo Entertainment System. The SNES may be best known for expanding the adventure and RPG genres, as well as raising a generation’s expectations for video game graphics, but few consoles have come close to rivaling the Super Nintendo’s library of classic platforming titles.

It’s hard to narrow this list down to just 15 games, but from action-based platformers to pure platforming classics, these are the best examples of this timeless genre that the SNES gifted the gaming world. 

15. Jelly Boy 

Putting you in control of a jelly baby (a candy that is popular in the U.K. and surrounding areas), Jelly Boy was only released in Europe when it debuted in 1994. The game has a colorful aesthetic and some unique platforming elements built around the main character’s ability to transform into a myriad of vehicles, tools, and other objects. Those metamorphoses will be familiar to anyone who has played a Wario Land title or Kirby’s Epic Yarn. 

Admittedly, Jelly Boy‘s mechanics can be a little clunky and the controls are deficient compared to some of the later games on this list. Still, you will be hard-pressed to find a more original platformer on the console that isn’t made by Nintendo themselves. You can even play it now via the Nintendo Switch Online service.

14. Demon’s Crest

Released by Capcom in 1994 as the third game featuring the character Firebrand (who debuted in the Ghosts ‘n Goblins series), Demon’s Crest is a forgotten gem in the SNES catalog. It adds some variety to the traditional action-platformer by giving the playable protagonist the ability to fly and shoot fireballs as well as access other upgradeable attacks and maneuvers as their quest rolls along. That feature adds a little Zelda-like adventuring to the mix, and you’ll certainly need those late-game power-ups because this platformer means business.

There are many difficult platformers on this list, but few boast the plethora of boss battles seen in this one. It’s actually similar to Mega Man in terms of its fighting style and jumping requirements, so if you are looking for an alternative to the Blue Bomber that keeps the basics of the genre intact, you’ll have a hard time doing better than Demon’s Crest.  

13. Joe & Mac

Joe & Mac is honestly a fairly basic platformer for its era. What gets it onto this list of the best games in that genre, though, is the creativity and execution of its setting.

The game sees you control two different cavemen who rely on basic prehistoric items such as fire, bats, bones, etc. The bosses are pretty cool (dinosaurs are fun for all ages) and the controls hold up well enough that you won’t ever feel like you have to force the avatar into doing something that the interface simply won’t allow for. The game spawned a sequel that was also released on SNES, but the original is unique enough to get the nod here. 

12. Super Ghouls ‘n Ghosts

Despite what the title may suggest, Super Ghouls ‘n Ghosts is actually the third game in the Ghosts ‘n Goblins series. Like the previous games, this classic sees you battle various monsters and bosses that fit the setting nicely. Although the game is maybe a little too action-heavy to get the nod over the SNES’ best platformers, it uses its platforming elements to elevate the entire experience. 

The difficulty is insanely high and the sheer amount of sprites on screen at once can lead to some lag that only adds to the frustrations of this arduous journey, but the game has a way of keeping things light and humorous when the frustration sets in. How many other games see the protagonist stripped of their armor, quite literally, when he takes too many hits?

11. Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie Kong’s Double Trouble!

The third installment in the beloved Donkey Kong Country trilogy certainly isn’t hated by many, but it is usually viewed as a step down from the first two games. Whether that has to do with a change in composer for the soundtrack, the inability to play as Donkey or Diddy, or the fact it was released after the Nintendo 64 was on the market, the title’s sometimes mixed reputation often prevents it from being appreciated as a divine platforming experience. 

The environments and storytelling in this game are well-executed. If you’re observant, you may even notice that the developers were trying to say something about the sad state of ape habitats and pollution in the wild. Even if you didn’t dive too deep into that surprising bit of social commentary, you’ll likely find that the platforming in this one remains top-notch and that the overall experience remains severely underrated. 

10. DoReMi Fantasy: Milon’s DokiDoki Adventure 

As the only game on this list that wasn’t initially released outside of Japan, many gamers may not know that DoReMi Fantasy is a whimsical experience that features some of the key elements of Mario and Kirby’s best adventures in terms of gameplay and graphics. Starring a young child whose objective is to reclaim music for the forest, DoReMi utilizes some clever puzzles that may not be unusual for the platformer genre but certainly add to the fun.

The game got a Virtual Console release in North America in 2008, but that’s sadly the best chance many gamers have had in recent years to take a chance on this title. It’s a great example of how people should be more open to experiencing games that weren’t localized the first time around.

9. Donkey Kong Country

Perhaps the most famous game starring Nintendo’s lovable ape, the original Donkey Kong Country was Rare’s first big title for the SNES and practically started their decade-plus long relationship as a second-party developer with the Big N. Tasked with showing off off the console’s pre-rendered graphics system, the crew from Britain proved to be up to the task. Honestly, this game still looks halfway decent in 2021. 

While the actual platforming is not as good as the Super Mario games on the SNES, it offered a different flavor of jumping that is still very much appreciated. The “weight” of Donkey Kong and Diddy means that the platforming is less flighty than in Super Mario games, and the rideable animal buddies you encounter along the way add a little flair to the experience. 

8. ActRaiser

As a game that serves as both an action-platformer and a God simulator, this underrated and forgotten gem from Enix and developer Quintet showed off the visual and audio capabilities of the SNES in the early days of the console. You play as the “Master” who is tasked with building towns around the world and fending off the evils that threaten them. It’s hard to juggle two completely different genres like that, but ActRaiser finds a great balance. 

The game was re-released for the Wii Virtual Console in 2007 but has otherwise been paid little attention in the years since its release. That’s unfortunate because there aren’t many games from 30 years ago that provide this much depth and versatility. Both parts of the experience are extremely solid in their own right, and together add up to become something truly special. 

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7. Kirby Super Star

Even the most ardent Kirby fans would probably agree that the franchise can get a little stale at times. There are only so many ways Kirby can suck an enemy up, transform his powers to match theirs, and ultimately defeat King Dedede. That’s why Kirby Super Star is still arguably the best game that the pink cutie pie has ever starred in.

Featuring eight different games within the game, the genre-mixing in this one is really off the charts. There are racing elements, adventure tones, and shooting sequences amongst the different sections of the playthrough. The experience was so beloved that it was eventually remade for the Nintendo DS as Kirby Super Star Deluxe. There is something for everyone in this package, and it shows the best parts of Kirby’s history.

6. Mega Man X

The original run of NES Mega Man titles are arguably still more famous than all of the others, but Mega Man X just has more of what makes those games great. It retains the eight bosses and weapon upgrades that can be completed/acquired in whatever order the player chooses, and it even has that same incredible soundtrack that the Blue Bomber’s adventures are always famous for.

Mega Man X‘s graphical upgrades admittedly take some of that eight-bit nostalgia out of the experience, but the game ultimately makes up for it by offering new gameplay experiences. Jumping on walls and acquiring upgrades to defensive maneuvers gives Mega Man an even more badass skillset, and the game generally does an excellent job of emphasizing the “platforming” parts of its action-platformer mix.

5. Super Castlevania 4

Super Castlevania 4 is actually a kind of soft remake of the original game, and the developers at Konami did a great job of making that game more digestible for newcomers while keeping all of the iconic elements from the classic NES title.

The Castlevania basics are all here (you still control Simon Belmont, equipped with his famous whip and ax, and battle through the game’s 11 stages before reaching Dracula), but an ideal mix of combat and platforming makes this one of the most irreplaceable platformers in the SNES catalog. It’s still an airtight action-platformer experience in 2021. 

4. Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy’s Kong Quest

The second game in the DKC trilogy took all of the best parts of the first title and refined them to create a truly unique platforming game that was a lot more than fancy graphics (a reputation the original game has had a hard time shaking). Diddy’s Kong Quest expanded upon the game design that fans loved while keeping the jungle hijinx, masterful soundtrack, and weighted platforming intact. 

That last part is what truly separates the middle installment of this franchise from the other two. Many people have said that these games were sometimes more style than substance, but after playing through the myriad of environments on display in DKC 2, it becomes clear that this title has endured over the years because its tight mechanics are executed at a high level.  

3. Super Metroid

If this list were just a ranking of 2D games or if it encapsulated the entire SNES library regardless of genre, Super Metroid would most likely take the top spot. Alas, this icon of game design settles in the third spot because it isn’t the best example of a “pure platformer.” It’s more of an action/adventure affair, though the game’s platforming elements are still as satisfying now as they were in the 1990s.

What separates this game from so many that have tried to emulate it in the nearly three decades since release is that every ability upgrade and every part of the map fits together with nearly flawless foresight and execution. It’s never a hassle to re-explore a section that you’ve already seen. The game has a masterful flow that is incredibly modern and perhaps even more popular today because of the prominence of this design style on the indie game scene. 

2. Super Mario World

With its flawless controls, colorful sprites, cheerful soundtrack, and ageless platforming, Super Mario World is the title that all other 2D games in the genre are still compared to. The extra graphical power of the SNES gave Nintendo the opportunity to expand upon Super Mario Bros. 3‘s best ideas while exploring new concepts that simply weren’t possible before.

That is why this game remains so playable. Super Mario World combines the most enjoyable elements of the NES Super Mario classics and then elevates them to fully realize the world that Miyamoto imagined when this basic concept was created. It still doesn’t make sense to have a plumber jumping on top of turtles and occasionally getting lost inside of a house full of ghosts (those damn Boo mansions still haunt me), but when you combine this much creativity into one package, you have no choice but to admit how special it all is.

1. Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island

Shigeru Miyamoto and his team knew that it was futile to try and surpass Super Mario World simply by emulating it. So when developing the sequel, they made the decision to craft an entirely different type of platformer in which Mario isn’t even the main protagonist. The concept was bold, but the execution needed to be flawless if the game was ever going to be more than another disappointing follow-up. 

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It’s safe to say Yoshi’s Island exceeded all expectations. Putting Yoshi at the forefront of a platformer that included mini-games, evasion, puzzle-solving, item collection, and the most timeless color palette in gaming history was brilliance personified. Yoshi’s Island is not as famous as its older sibling, but its daring creativity and irreplaceable charm have inspired many to argue that it is the better game in retrospect. Whatever your opinion is, the fun and escapism of the green dinosaur’s finest hour (as well as the horrors of Baby Mario’s screams) will be remembered until the end of gaming.

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