#now i'm lost in some distant part of the universe on a ship

[erika-xero]

sketching stuff while I have some free time... 

how about my hyperfixation on aliens and living ships

[steveyockey]

“wah wah what am I supposed to watch if all the actors and writers are on strik—“ my name is John Crichton AN ASTRONAUT a radiation wave hit and I got shot through a wormhole now I'm lost in some distant part of the universe on a ship, a LIVING SHIP, full of strange alien life forms help me help me listen, please is there anybody out there who can hear me? I'm being hunted hunted by an insane military commanderI'm doing everything I can I'm just looking for a way home

[roennq]

Farscape premiered on Sci-Fi Channel on 19 March 1999. Starring Ben Browder, Claudia Black, Virginia Hey, Anthony Simcoe, Gigi Edgley, Lani John Tupu, Jonathan Hardy, Tammy Macintosh, and Wayne Pygram, the show ran for four seasons and concluded with a two-part miniseries in 2004.

Opening and Closing Themes for Seasons 1 and 2 (by Braedy Neal) and Seasons 3 and 4 (by Guy Gross)

"My name is John Crichton, an astronaut. A radiation wave hit and I got shot through a wormhole. Now I'm lost in some distant part of the universe on a ship – a living ship, full of strange alien life forms. Help me. Listen, please. Is there anybody out there who can hear me? I'm being hunted by an insane military commander. I’m doing everything I can. I'm just looking for a way home..."

Happy 25th Anniversary, Farscape! 💖

[lilydalexf]

hello! I'm new to following you on Tumblr, but I followed your content from Golgle, I wanted to know if by any chance you knew of any fanfic in which Scully recovered her memories of the abduction, I've been wanting to read one like that for a while, but I can't find it, thanks!

Welcome, and thank you for the ask! Here are some good fics where Scully remembers something about her season 2 abduction. Enjoy!

12 Rites of Passage: Regression by Anne Haynes Part 9 of the 12 Rites of Passage series: Mulder and Scully seek a missing woman and discover frightening truths about their pasts. (Sequel to the series: 12 Degrees of Separation.)

Anamorphosis by Megan Reilly Assigned to find a horrifying serial murderer, Agent Scully discovers things about herself and her past that she never suspected.

Comfortably Numb by Paige Caldwell There is no pain...you are receding...a distant ship...smoke on the horizon...you are coming through in waves...Your lips move but I can't hear what you say...I have become comfortably numb...

The Cry of the Truth by A.I. Irving As their love affair unfolds, Scully reveals to Mulder a painful secret relating to her abduction. Mulder's reaction tests their bond and eventually leads Scully to discover a few truths about herself.

Dance Without Sleeping by wonderland (@amplifyme) Scully learns to live with her cancer and take back control of her life. Meanwhile, Mulder works on fulfilling a wish list. (Fic in the same universe: Into Each Other Sinking.)

grief by ms_starlight71 Scully goes in for a routine pap smear sometime post-cancer arc and has a panic attack/flashback related to her abduction.

i'm still in love with who i wish you were by comeherebooch “You were abducted, Scully,” Mulder said, sensing her confusion, “do you remember anything?” Post Requiem.

Ingénue by Punk (@punkm) Mulder and Scully investigate the circumstances surrounding a fifteen-year-old girl's multiple disappearances.

locking out the ghosts by skuls (@ghostbustermelanieking) Post-Emily arc, an emotionally vulnerable Scully breaks off the incredibly new relationship she and Mulder have recently been engaged in. As the season moves forward, how do they cope with this new development in their relationship, and how do the stressful situations their job puts them in affect this?

Malleus Maleficarum by Pellinor A stranger with a tempting offer promises hope in Mulder's time of need. Refusal could cost him and Scully their lives, but could the price of acceptance be greater still?

Movie Night by @nowwhateinstein “Talk about spooky,” he says as the movie fades to black and the credits begin to roll. She laughs and gives a small shake of her head. “That word,” she says. “It means something different to me now.”

Revanche by Ryo Sen Revanche - (noun) political policy designed to recover lost territory or status

Skin by Annie Sewell-Jennings In a world where Mulder and Scully have never met, fate intervenes and brings two worlds colliding in the city of Charleston, as a vicious murderer reigns and a storm approaches.

Right Hand Return by orphan_account An alternative universe in which Scully is returned from her abduction with a baby, no memories of anything prior to her captivity and some PTSD.

Time Can Heal by PostApocolypticAlien (@scullysexual) Mulder realises that his quest for the truth costs too much (WIP)

Truthseekers by Leyla Harrison (No summary provided)

until it heals by actualchangeling (@actual-changeling) Nightmares cannot be fought with logic or light, there is no way of expelling them from her brain, not a single moment of peace to catch her breath. Scully knows one thing that always helps, though. Or rather—someone. When she finds herself lost and drowning, she calls the one person in the world whom she trusts to keep her safe. She calls Mulder.

The Way by KMNAHILL and MD1016 Scully becomes mysteriously ill. Mulder, Melissa, and Tao help to heal her. / On assignment in Chicago, Scully’s illness progresses. / An assignment in Oregon turns out to be more than first expected. Humorous antics from the Lone Gunmen. / Samantha returns and isn’t what Mulder had expected.

White Light by aka_Jake While investigating a young woman's claim of alien abduction, Mulder and Scully are led on a cross-country chase of intrigue and murder. As they search for answers, Scully's own abduction memories resurface.

[filmjunky-99]

f a r s c a p e created by rockne s. o'bannon [premiere, s1ep1]

'My name is John Crichton, an astronaut. A radiation wave hit, and I got shot through a wormhole. Now I'm lost in some distant part of the universe on a ship, a living ship, full of strange alien life forms...' - crichton

[63]

My name is John Crichton, an astronaut🚀👨‍🚀🚀 a RADIATION ☢️ wave 🌊 hit 🤜😵‍💫 and I got SHOT 🏹 🎯 through a WORMHOLE 😫☄️🌪️🌀🌠, now I'm LOST 🧭⁉️🔭🔍 in some DISTANT part of the universe 🌌💫🌟 on a ship ⛵, a LIVING 🫀🛸🧬 ship ⛵, full of STRANGE, alien 👽👾📡 life forms🦠,Help me... Listen, 🔊 Please... Is there anybody out there who can hear me 🗣️👂⁉️ I'm being HUNTED 🔍🎯💥 by an INSANE 😜🧠🤯 military 🪖📢 commander 🫡... doing everything I can🥫... I'm just looking 👀🔍... for a way Home 🚀🗺️🌏...

[infamousjingle-horse]

👋 My name is John Crichton🫡, an astronaut 👨‍🚀. A radiation wave 🌊 hit and I got shot 🔫 through a wormhole 🪱🕳️. Now I'm lost 🤔 in some distant part of the universe 🌌 on a ship 🚢, a living ship 🛸, full of strange alien life forms 👽👾👹🧞‍♀️. Help me 🆘. Listen, please 🙏. Is there anybody out there who can hear me 🙉? I'm being hunted 🕵️‍♂️ by an insane 🤪 military commander 👮‍♂️. Doing everything I can 🙇‍♂️. I'm just looking 👀 for a way home 🌎.

[greatcometcas]

My name 🪪 is John Crichton 🙋🏻‍♂️ an astronaut 🔭🧬🧑🏻‍🚀 A radiation ☢️ wave hit 🌊💥 and I got shot 🚀 🔫 through a wormhole 💫🪱🕳️ Now I'm lost 🗺️❓in some ✨ distant ✨ part 🧩 of the universe 🌌 on a ship 🛸 a living ship‼️full of strange 🤪😈 alien 👽 life forms. 🖖 Help me 🙏 Listen👂please 🙏 Is anybody out there who can hear me? 🗣️🗣️I'm being hunted 👾👾👾 by an insane 😛 military 🪖 commander 🫡🎖️I'm doing everything I can. 💪😩 I'm just looking 👀👀for a way home 🌏🏡

[veshialles]

through a wormhole. now I'm lost in some distant part of the universe on a ship, a living ship, full of strange alien life forms. Help me, listen, please! Is anybody out there who can hear me?? I'm being hunted (hunted) by an insane military commander. I'm doing everything I can. I'm just looking for a way home...

[z00oo1]

Bellarke Fic Recommendation

Tumblr

Oneshot @chase-the-windandtouch-the-sky 

Clarke is in a coma after Gabriel removes the chip.

Oneshot @chase-the-windandtouch-the-sky

Clarkewho managed to grab control from taking herself and Josephine out as a way to eliminate the chip altogether.

Oneshot @chase-the-windandtouch-the-sky

I wish you would write a fic where it took so long for the gang to figure out Clarke wasn’t Clarke

Ao3

Ark Descending by warmfluffypastries

What happens if the Ark didn't come down at the end of season 1?

Burning Up by PenguinsofProse

Clarke makes it back to the rocket just in time, but with radiation sickness.

Love Hurts by diemension

Modern AU. Clarke deals with the repercussions of a lie Finn tells.

Welcome to Earth by marauders_groupie

Bellamy of the Shallow Valley clan has to marry Death herself: Wanheda.

Comic Hypocrisy by Gryffindor_by_birth

Until the Sun Makes the Hills its Grave by meliebee

It didn’t take long for Clarke to realise that something was wrong. No one else did, but she doesn’t expect them to because what's wrong isn't the planet, it's her.

Atone by @chase-the-windandtouch-the-sky

A quick scouting mission turns into a fight for survival as Clarke tries to work through what she’s done – even if it means giving her life.

The Bruise Won't Heal by theinvisibledisaster

Some Things are Worth Dying For by Nyx_21

What if Bellamy stayed behind with Clarke when the rocket left?

And Now Your Home by asroarke

Grounder!Bellamy AU where Clarke finds out she isn't the last person left on Earth.

I'm on my knees your faith in shreds by stoneage_woman

As the last survivors of humanity try to make a fresh beginning on a new, deserted planet, Bellamy tries to find his way back to a lonely, distant Clarke.

Tell Me How it Really Feels by skittishasakitten

To dwell in dreams and remember how to live by PenguinsofProse

Clarke wakes up on the Eligius ship after twenty years in cryosleep, and it turns out that Sanctum and Bardo were all part of a horrific nightmare.

Eden by ohsupernaturall

Alternate universe where Bellamy stays behind for Clarke when Praimfaya hits.

Show Me What your Looking For by bitscrawford

Sanctuary by abitcfstardust

Bellamy had lost Clarke more times than he could count. He wouldn't let Josephine Lightbourne get her away from him one more time.

Wake Up by HiatusMusings

When Clarke stays in Arkadia after crushing the mountain she thinks she can still hide from those that looked to her.

Yours Truly by virgohotspot

Or, Serial Killer!Clarke is engaged to Horror Writer!Bellamy. She's determined to hide the monster she thinks she is for the man that she loves.

We keep doing better by sobsicles

Or, the one where Bellamy and Clarke are stranded together on the last inhabitable patch of earth for six years and seven days.

Tear me to pieces by MABlake

Murphy discovers that Echo tried to choke Clarke before they left the earth and nobody had told him

We are Strangers Drawn Together by whatspastisprologue

Perhaps, after the mountain, Clarke, Bellamy, and the Delinquents can finally find peace and a true home on the ground.

[cy-vf]

“My name is Harry Styles… an astronaut… A radiation wave hit and I got… shot… through a wormhole. Now, I'm lost in some distant part of the universe on a ship - a living ship - full of strange.. alien life forms… help me…”

… or the one where I drew them as characters from the early 2000’s sci-fi classic, Farscape

[drawnaghht]

Yuichi Usagi - what's in a name?

I read "Senso" over the end of March and the last week and reviewed a bunch of interviews again and man i dunno how to post abt it but it seems that Yuichi Usagi is actually intentional as naming? And yes, Yuichi can be a last name also, but is still mainly read as a first name.

Like specifically it seems that it’s a reference to the ending of “Usagi Yojimbo: Senso” in a similar way to how the rest of the show is also intentionally an homage to that story as it’s main source of inspiration.

“Yuichi” commonly has the meaning "heroic first (son)" (雄一) and in the japanese subtitles, Yuichi is spelled as both 雄一 and ユウイチ - Yūichi. So let's take the japanese subtitling as additional canon as that’s how the character’s introduce themselves. (I'll link this Japanese-Names website as an online source for now since I'm not fluent in it myself.) The subtitles are based on the english dub of course, but it seems the japanese dub is similar on the name introductions for the most part (not a native speaker myself so I can only guess).

Spoilers for Senso if you haven't read it. I recommend you do, if really nothing else. It’s a really nice mashup of sci fi in Usagi Yojimbo, in a very “War of the Worlds” type clash. I really loved the foreword comic and the illustrations before the story. It's a really good story. Here’s a nice spoilerless review of it.

So from interviews we know that the Samurai Rabbit crew was inspired by and drew influences from six-issue book Usagi Yojimbo: Senso - you can see it in how the Makkine were designed and episode references (S2, ep 9 "Eggs!" - the falling martian ships are called eggs in “Senso”) and mainly the story outline of aliens invading edo-period japan.

So why give Yuichi Usagi a first name as a last name?

We see this backstory in "Willow Branch" in season 2.

The sword was lost. That is a storyline they included to make an interesting story out of it but to also connect the show and og comic in a different way. A "passing of the torch" in some sense, but also literally what the comic tells us about og Usagi and his swords. In Senso: "They are my soul. Pass them down to your firstborn… then to his [...] then down the line…” And in the show we see that Willow Branch is found and recovered by Yuichi and the sword accepts him as the next in line. The firstborn son.

So from this we can make the fan-theory that perhaps in the show canon, Miyamoto Usagi’s family maybe named their next firstborn in line Yuichi, to honor their forebear Miyamoto Usagi's last wish, again if we're going by the thought that this was inspired by "Senso". (Jotaro being his last surviving member in this verse possibly, we don't know here bc it's intentionally left vague to not spoil series-only viewers + keep the mystery open for anyone who decides to read the comic after the series for the first time). It could even be a possibility that they just kept that as a surname for sentimental reasons, because the family had women as first-born children for so long (if we assume based on Usagi's auntie and missing parents), but they wanted to keep that memory going for as long as possible, since the sword was lost shortly after Miyamoto saved Edo from Kagehito’s plan a 1000 years before Yuichi’s time. But that’s already just speculation from me as a fan of the cartoon.

And before die-hard comic readers swoop in, yes, in Senso the swords are not lost, but again, it’s an alternative universe story situation for the people making the show, and I find what they did was interesting.

The comic’s ending is tied into the world of “Space Usagi” as well, without spoiling it too much, which is a storyline Stan did in a space opera setting. The connection between being inspired by Senso which is tied to this story may also be why so many interviews and articles call Usagi Chronicles as inspired by Space Usagi directly, since both are spin-offs that take place in a distant future.

Or you know, it could also just be that they wanted an easy-sounding name for their main character to call that wasn't only Usagi, since they have two in the series: their own and the original.

But all in all, whether the name comes as a reference to the original comic, or from simple use of a common name, it can’t be ignored that this is just how the show calls it’s main character.

But you can still call him Yuichi, as that is what both the crew (his creators) and Stan Sakai call him when talking of both tbe Usagis. (Or, in the case of Stan, "my Usagi" and "Their/Samurai Rabbit/the show's Usagi") It could be that out of respect for the work the crew put into his series, Stan didn’t suggest more naming conventions for the character because he already liked the work and story the crew did. It could be that they put a pin in it at first and then got used to it as pre-production continued. Could even just be that he loled it right away. But I don’t find it that useful to speculate on that as much, because the cartoon we have is already made and finished how it is and well, we don’t know the exact authorial reasonings from the show crew side much, so Yuichi Usagi it is.

Though also, the way that his names are used in the show (Auntie mainly calls him Usagi and family usually adress via 1st name, Yuichi is never used mich beyond introductions) and how it's used in the interviews when talking about Miyamoto Usagi as well, it feels like they meant to give him two first names, and couldn’t decide on a surname-sounding last name so, Yuichi Usagi was left in the final script. But that's just my guess as a fan and viewer again.

Maybe other fans have had similar or better discussions about it? It would be interesting to know if the show has more japanese fans and how they find this, for example. What they think about how the show introduces him as Surname-Given Name, but then every other character switches to just calling him Usagi right away. In japan, people usually use last name+ honorifics when they have just met. But both Usagi's new friends and Usagi himself switch to first-name basis after their first day meeting each other and going through a few fights. Is it just because the show has a mostly western audience(my assumption), and we're meant to use his given name as an audience to be more familiar with him... or is it only because he's a rabbit and some of the characters (like Lord Kogane) don't really care more? Perhaps a 1000 years into the future, they've partially lost the use of some traditions?

In any case, it doesn’t feel like the show made that big of a faux pas naming Yuichi the way they did. Ould be that my guess is wrong and it wasn't as deliberate a reference to Senso. It seems a much higher possibility that they thought of that, thought it sounded nice and then kept it because it was an easy way to call him differently from comics-Usagi during production itself, but still getting to call him Usagi in the show-proper.

This is just me basing this on official interviews and the Senso book, but this just seems more likely than them picking a random name with no meaning to it. Of course, I could also be wrong, but based on interviews along, the showrunners and creative team seem so genuine in wanting to give the comic a good show that it doesn't make sense that they wouldn't research it. Or at the very least, ask about it from Stan himself or even just get a note from him about it, since he reviewed everything else. Candie and Doug (showrunners) even mention (in Comic Book Couple's Counceling podcast interview) how they really wanted to go deeper with research this time and art director Khang Le mentioned how they took a lot of cues from modern japan as well, from their research trips there.

I know this probably won't put any future discussions/rambling about this to rest among other fans, but well, just some thoughts on this. While I think it's probably kind of silly of me to be writing long essays abt a cartoon show I like, I do think it sort of warrants more discussion abt how we talk about characters and how we refer to them. For another show i'm a fan of for example, the character has an official name and a nickname, but the show itself consistently only used the nickname to let the reader be familiar with her. While characters like teachers and enemies might refer to them with their given name, even her full name, their family and friends mainly use the easier nickname. But it seemed that the reverse happened with that show's fandom, as the more unique given name became more used than the nickname the show itself gave us. And this was sorta the same thoughtprocess I had here with Usagi Chronicles.

Anyway, this has been a post x3 I meant to make this shorter and just about Senso, but I sorta started rambling more after the auntie and generations of female Usagi descendants theory x3

edit 5.05: fixed some grammar and sentence logic mistakes! added clarifications where ref was missing (CCBC podcast)

edit 13.06: I looked up the spellings for Yuichi as a last name and while it's similar, based on how it's written in the show, this supports my previous reading still. It still seems like it's meant more as a title almost, the same way naming would have been in old norse for example "Ivan's son" would become "Ivanson" or in english-language names, "Miller's son" would become "Millerson" (patronymic). So again, maybe Yuichi is meant as "first son" as the first name, but Usagi is his namesake because the family still wanted to honor their common ancestor, Miyamoto Usagi. That's the possible in-world reasoning, but with how much this crew put into the show, I wouldn't be surprised that they thought the same thing, that it's a nice way to reference the book Senso they were insired by, but also Miyamoto Usagi the character, who they were inspired by.

[leolaroot]

and now I'm lost in some distant part of the universe on a ship a LIVING ship

[mysticstronomy]

HOW DOES TIME WORK IN SPACE??

Blog#81

Wednesday, April 21st,2021

Welcome back,

We customarily consider time something straightforward and crucial. It streams consistently, free of all the other things, from the past to the future, estimated by clocks and watches. Throughout time, the occasions of the universe succeed each other in a methodical manner: pasts, presents, future. The past is fixed, the future open ... but the entirety of this has ended up being bogus. What we call "time" is a perplexing assortment of constructions, of layers. Under expanding examination, in ever-more prominent profundity, the time has lost layers in a steady progression, piece by piece.

Let’s begin with a simple fact: Time passes faster in the mountains than it does at sea level.

The difference is small, but it can be measured with precision timepieces that you can buy on the internet for a few thousand dollars. With practice, anyone can witness the slowing down of time. With the timepieces of specialized laboratories, researchers can detect this slowing down of time between levels just a few centimeters apart: A clock on the floor runs a little more slowly than one on a table. It is not just the clocks that slow down: Lower down, all processes are slower. Two friends separate, with one of them living in the plains and the other going to live in the mountains. They meet up again years later. The one who has stayed down has lived less, aged less, the mechanism of his cuckoo clock has oscillated fewer times. He has had less time to do things, his plants have grown less, his thoughts have had less time to unfold. Lower down, there is simply less time than at an altitude.

Is this surprising? Perhaps it is. But this is how the world works. Time passes more slowly in some places, more rapidly in others. The surprising thing, perhaps, is that someone understood this slowing down of time a century before we had clocks precise enough to measure it. His name, of course, was Albert Einstein. The ability to understand something before it’s observed is at the heart of scientific thinking. In antiquity, the Greek philosopher Anaximander understood that the sky continues beneath our feet long before ships had circumnavigated the Earth. At the beginning of the modern era, the Polish mathematician and astronomer Copernicus understood the Earth's turns long before astronauts had seen it do so from the moon.

In the course of making such strides, we learn the things that seemed self-evident to us were really no more than prejudices. It seemed obvious the sky was above us and not below; otherwise, the Earth would fall down. It seemed self-evident the Earth did not move; otherwise, it would cause everything to crash. That time passed at the same speed everywhere seemed equally obvious to us. But just as children grow up and discover the world is not as it seemed from within the four walls of their homes, humankind as a whole does the same. What's going on now in a far-off place? Envision, for instance, your sister has gone to Proxima b, the as of late found planet that circles a star around 4 light-years from us. What is your sister doing now on Proxima b?

The lone right answer is that the inquiry has neither rhyme nor reason. It resembles asking, "What is here, in Peking?" when we are in Venice. It has neither rhyme nor reason, since, supposing that I utilize "here" in Venice, I'm alluding to a spot in Venice, not in Peking.

On the off chance that you ask what your sister, who is in the room with you, is doing now, the appropriate response is generally a simple one: You take a gander at her, and you can tell. On the off chance that she's distant, you telephone her and ask what she's doing. Yet, be careful: In the event that you take a gander at your sister, you're accepting light that ventures out from her to your eyes. That light sets aside some effort to contact you — suppose a couple of nanoseconds, a minuscule part of a second. Thusly, you're not exactly seeing what she's doing now yet the thing she was doing a couple of nanoseconds prior.

On the off chance that she's in New York and you telephone her from Liverpool, her voice takes a couple of milliseconds to contact you, so the most you can profess to know is the thing that your sister was up to a couple of milliseconds prior. Not a huge distinction, maybe.

What's the significance here, this "alteration of the design of time"? Definitely, the easing back of time portrayed previously. A mass hinders time around itself. The Earth is a huge mass and hinders time in its area. It does so more in the fields and less in the mountains, on the grounds that the fields are nearer to it. This is the reason the companion who stays adrift level ages all the more gradually.

Subsequently, if things fall, it is because of this easing back of time. Where time passes consistently, in interplanetary space, things don't fall — they drift. Here on the outside of our planet, then again, things fall descending on the grounds that, down there, time is eased back by the Earth.

Thus, despite the fact that we can only with significant effort notice it, the easing back of time by and by has vital impacts: Things fall as a result of it, and it permits us to keep our feet immovably on the ground. In the event that our feet cling to the asphalt, it is on the grounds that our entire body slants normally to where time runs all the more gradually — and time passes more gradually for your feet than it accomplishes for your head.

Does this appear to be unusual? It resembles when watching the sunset, vanishing gradually behind removed mists, we abruptly recollect that it's not the sun that is moving but rather the Earth that is turning. Also, we imagine our whole planet — and ourselves with it — turning in reverse, away from the sun.

CREDIT: "THE ORDER OF TIME" Book by CARLO ROVELLI

COMING UP!!

(Saturday, April 24th,2021)

“A FASTER-THAN-LIGHT WARP DRIVE-POWERED SPACESHIP MAY BE POSSIBLE??"

[beatriceeagle]

I'm more of a fantasy than sci-fi person, but consider my interest piqued. Why should I watch farscape?

Okay, the thing is, every Farscape fan’s pitch on Why You, Yes You, Should Watch Farscape ends up sounding very similar, and that’s because Farscape is a black hole that sucks you in and does things to your brain, and after you’ve watched it you are never, ever the same, which incidentally is basically the plot of Farscape.

I would summarize the basic plot for you, but that’s work, and luckily, the show’s credits sequence includes a handy summary that I will provide instead of doing that work: “My name is John Crichton, an astronaut. A radiation wave hit, and I got shot through a wormhole. Now I’m lost in some distant part of the universe on a ship, a living ship, full of strange alien life forms. Help me. Listen, please. Is there anybody out there who can hear me? I’m being hunted by an insane military commander. Doing everything I can. I’m just looking for a way home.“

So let me break down that monologue into its component reasons you should watch Farscape.

1) Some of the strange alien life forms are Muppets.

Farscape a co-production with the Jim Henson Company, and while there are many aliens played by humans in make-up, there are also a considerable number (including two of the regular crew) who are Muppets. By which I do not mean Kermit. I mean really gorgeous, elaborate works of art.

Also, even a lot of the humans-in-makeup aliens just look cool, and incredibly weird. Here’s an alien who appears in a single episode of season 1:

Not that there aren’t, you know, occasional Star Trek-style “these guys are just humans with weird hair,” or whatever, but in general, the aliens on Farscape look really alien. And that’s more than an aesthetic choice; it’s Farscape’s driving narrative principle. The aliens look alien, they act alien, they have alien values.

You know how a lot of sci-fi shows will have a stand-in for “fuck,” like Battlestar Galactica has “frak”? Well, Farscape has “frell.” And also “dren.” And yotz, hezmana, mivonks, loomas, tralk, snurch, eema, drannit, dench, biznak, arn, drad, fahrbot, narl. Some of those are swear words, but some of them are just words, never explicitly translated, that the alien characters will pepper into their speech, because, well, why should translator microbes be able to completely translate all the nuances of an alien culture? You’ll pick it up from context. One time, in passing, a character mentions that he’s familiar with the concept of suicide, but there’s no word for it in his language. I cannot emphasize to you enough how fleeting this moment is; the episode is not about suicide, we’re not having a great exchange of cultural ideas—at the time, the characters are running down a corridor in a crisis, as they are about 70 percent of the time—it’s just that the subject got brought up, and this character needed to talk around the fact that he literally didn’t have a word, in that moment. Things like that happen all the time, on Farscape.

Because more than anything else, Farscape is a show about culture shock. John Crichton is this straight, white Southern guy, at the top of his game—he’s an astronaut! he’s incredibly high status!—and then he ends up on the other side of the galaxy, where none of his cultural markers of privilege hold any meaning, where he doesn’t know the rules, where he literally can’t even open the doors. And he has to unlearn the idea that humanity is central, that he is the norm.

2) John Crichton, an astronaut, is pretty great.

A show that’s about a straight white guy with high status having to learn that he’s not the center of the universe could easily be centered around a really insufferable person, but one of the subtle things that makes Farscape so wonderful is that Crichton is, for the most part, pretty excellent. He has a lot of presumptions to unlearn because almost anyone in his cultural position would, but he’s also just a stand-up guy: compassionate, intelligent, open-minded, decent, forgiving, brave, hopeful.

And the galaxy tries to kick a whole lot of that out of him. It doesn’t succeed, mostly, but if Farscape is about anything other than culture shock, it’s about the lasting effects of trauma. How you can go through a wormhole one person, and experience things that turn you into someone you don’t recognize.

That’s kind of grim-sounding, but ultimately, what I’m trying to say is that Farscape is almost fanatically devoted to character work. Crichton is not the only character who sounds like he should be one thing and ends up being another. All of the characters—all of them, all of them, even the annoying ones—are complicated wonders. And you don’t have to wonder whether the events of the episode you’re watching are going to matter. They will. Everything that happens to the characters leaves a mark. Everything leaves them forever changed. Whether it’s mentioned explicitly or not—and often enough, it’s not explicit—the characters remember what has happened to them.

3) The living ship houses a lot of excellent women, among them the ship itself.

Ah, the women of Farscape, thou art the loves of my fucking life.

There’s Aeryn Sun, former Peacekeeper (that’s the military that the “insane military commander” hails from) now fugitive, currently learning the meaning of the word “compassion” (literally). She will break your fingers and also your heart. John/Aeryn is the main canon romantic ship.

There’s Pa’u Zhoto Zhaan, a priestess of the ninth level, current pacifist, former anarchist. Sorry, leading anarchist. She orgasms in bright light! (Oh my god, Farscape.)

There’s Chiana, my fucking bestie, a teenage(ish? ages in Farscape are weird) fugitive on the run from a repressive authoritarian state. Chiana is like a seductress con artist grifter thief who mostly just wants to survive so that she can have fun, damn it. Characters on Farscape do not really discuss sexualities (sex, yes, sexualities, no) and it would be fair to say that several of them do not fall along human sexuality lines generally, but I’m gonna go ahead and say that Chiana is canonically not straight.

Then there’s Moya, the ship herself, and it’s hard to get a straight read on Moya’s personality, since she mostly can’t speak. But she definitely has opinions, and things and people she cares about. And she moves the plot, though that gets into spoiler territory.

Past first season, further excellent women show up: Jool (controversial, but I like her), Sikozu (I once saw a Tumblr meme where someone had marked down that Sikozu would lose her shit when someone pronounced “gif” wrong, and that’s absolutely correct, and it’s why I love her), and Noranti (who is incredibly weird, and incredibly hard to summarize, but man, you gotta love her willingness to just show up and do her thing). Plus, there’s a recurring female villain, Grayza, who I could write probably multiple essays about. (I don’t know how you will feel about Grayza, as not everyone loves her, but I think she’s fucking fascinating, especially because she’s not actually the only recurring female villain. We also get Ahkna!)

(Side note: I should mention, here, that the cast of Farscape is really, really white. There is one cast member of color, Lani Tupu, but he pretty much represents the entirety of even, like, incidental diversity in casting for the series.)

Anyway, Farscape is full of awesome women, and also awesome and unexpected men, and it really enjoys playing with audience expectations of gender roles, generally. Literal entire books have been written about the way that Farscape fucks around with sex, sexuality, and gender. It’s a little weird because it was the late 90s/early 2000s, and sometimes that does come through, but Farscape’s guiding principle was always to try not to present American culture of the time as the norm, so like. It is not.

(An aside on Farscape and sex: Literally every character on Farscape has sexual tension with every other character. If you are a shipper, this is a Good Show, because no matter who you ship, there will not only be subtext, you will get a Moment of some kind. Multiple characters kiss the Muppet. Farscape is dedicated to getting into the nitty-gritty of the galaxy—I like to think of it as showing the guts of the universe—so a lot of the show is kind of squishy. They live on a biomechanoid ship, instead of androids there are “bioloids,” there’s a lot of focus on strange alien biologies, and lots of weird glowing fluids and things. I think the sex thing is kind of part and parcel of the larger biology focus: Farscape is really fascinated with how we all eat and evolve and live and die and, well, fuck. Which is in turn, kind of part of its focus on making everything really alien.)

4) Other stuff you should know.

Farscape as a whole is excellent, but it was kind of the product of creative anarchy—an Australian/American coproduction (oh yeah, everyone except Crichton speaks with an Australian accent) that was also partnered with the Henson company, whose showrunners were based in America but whose actual production all took place in Australia, and who was just constantly trying new things. So individual episodes can vary wildly in quality. It really takes off in the back half of season one, but no season is without a few off episodes.

It is extraordinarily funny, and I really think I haven’t stressed that enough. It’s one of the shows I want to quote the most in my daily life, but almost all of its humor is really context-dependent, and if you just wander around going, “Hey Stark? What’s black and white, and black and white, and black and white?” people look at you really funny.

It’s very conversant with pop culture generally (although obviously sci-fi  specifically, and Star Trek most specifically of all) and really enjoys deconstructing tropes, often to the effect of, “Well, Crichton really does not know what to do here, does he?” but sometimes just to be interesting.

There are also a lot of themes about science, and its uses and misuses.

The whole thing is fucking epic, and if you get invested at all, will take you on an emotional ride.

This show is weird. I know that that’s probably come across by now, but I think it’s worth reiterating as its own point: Farscape is so weird. Like, proudly, unabashedly, trying its hardest, weird. An amazing kind of weird.

If you’re into fantasy, you should know that there’s a recurring villain who’s just a wizard. Like, they don’t bother to explain it any more than that, he’s just a fucking wizard.

In summary: You should watch Farscape because it is a weird, wild, emotional, epic romance/drama/action/allegory full of Muppets and leather and one-liners and emotional gut punches and love, and if you let it, it will worm its way into you and never let go, which, now that I think of it, is another Farscape plot.

Send me meta prompts to distract me from my migraine!

[metamorphicrocky]

Neither is He

did the discord just start going off an angst earlier? yes. did I start thinking about s3 angst between Gary, Little Cato, and Avocato? yes. so did I write this? absolutely :)

Ever since the Crimson Light went into Final Space, Avocato has been very confused.

Which is to be expected, seeing as how he died and then was brought back to life only to be possessed right up until he was flung into a nightmare dimension with his friends and a bunch of strangers.

Was everything explained to him? Yes, Gary and Little Cato did an...enthusiastic retelling of the events. But is he still utterly lost? Oh, absolutely.

Avocato has never been someone who likes being in the dark, so their current situation has put him seriously on edge for the past few weeks. He doesn't know what to expect in this new environment with a new crew, and the new developments between a certain two have to be the most unexpected parts of this whole thing if he's being honest.

"Hey, Dad?" Little Cato asks, peering his head around the entrance way into the bridge.

"Yes?" Avocato says at the same time as Gary says, "Yeah, buddy?"

The two men look at each other, and Gary flicks his eyes away when he notices the slight annoyance in Avocato's expression.

The kid doesn't even bat an eye at the very slight tension in the room. "Do you wanna go do something in the arcade?"

Avocato watches as Gary smiles and jumps up, bounding over the kid to ruffle his hair and smirk. "Oh, you wanna get beat again, little man?"

Little Cato smirks back, crossing his arms, "Oh, you're wrong on that. I'm gonna beat you so good, Thunder Bandit!" Then, he turns towards Avocato. "Dad, you coming?"

The Ventrexian stays silent for a moment, staring at the way Gary's hand naturally sits on top of his son's head and how Little Cato's tail wraps around Gary's leg unconsciously. The two of them interact like they've known each other for years, not the few months that Avocato knows it's been.

"No thanks," he states plainly.

Little Cato's face falls slightly almost in tandem with Gary's doing the same. "Are you sure?" the human asks, raising an eyebrow. "We could fit a game of cards in?"

He shakes his head. "I'm good."

Gary and Little Cato glance at each other, then together, they walk out of the room. Almost instantly, Avocato can hear their distant excited chatter over what games to play and the two of them playfully egging each other on.

His best friend adopted his son. That's a reasonable thing to do when someone dies, but Avocato is more than alive now. Yes, he asked Gary to take care of him, and he's grateful that his friend took on that responsibility....

But now? There isn't any reason why Gary should still be in that role.

A blooming anger forces a low growl from Avocato as he ruminates on the bridge.

----

Avocato yawns as he walks out of the bridge after his shift, Tribore taking his place. He is so ready to sleep in his room and not think about the floating corpses that he sees every second of the day.

As he's marching tiredly to his room, he hears some quiet talking in the hallway up ahead. He stops in his tracks and sneaks towards the corner to see who's there. He leans out from his hiding spot, only for Gary and Little Cato to be in his sight.

He freezes in place, watching as Gary cards a hand through the boy's fur. His friend is holding the boy tight to his chest as Little Cato clings to Gary's shirt, trembling fiercely. The shine of tears glisten on the kid's cheeks under the dim light of the ship's hallway, and Avocato frowns.

Little Cato hiccups, burying his head into Gary's stomach miserably.

"It's okay, bud. Let it all out," Gary soothes. "You're on the Crimson Light with me. We're both alive, and you're not alone. You're safe, okay?"

"I'm–I'm safe," Little Cato tries to say in between sobs.

Gary nods, rubbing the Ventrexian's back. "Yeah, you're safe with me."

The kid takes a few more moments to calm down, then he loosens his grip on Gary's shirt and hugs him instead.

"Do you know how you got here?" Gary questions softly.

"I had a nightmare about...," his son mumbles too quietly, so Avocato misses what he says. "I woke up and went to get you, then you brought us out here in case I woke anyone up."

Little Cato specifically wanted Gary?

"Good job, can you tell me anything else?" his friend encourages softly.

"I'm fourteen. You're thirty-two. You're real. We're in Final Space."

"There you go!" Gary smiles fondly at the boy. "Feeling more grounded?"

The boy nods, and Gary plants a soft kiss to the top of Little Cato's head. He snuggles into his adoptive dad as Gary starts rambling about something random.

Avocato finally stops his spying, disgruntled that he feels like a stranger over checking into his own son's well being. He glares at the wall across from him and walks away.

The next morning, the only sign that Little Cato was ever upset is the way Gary is extra affectionate towards the kid. Neither of them talk about it.

The anger in Avocato's chest grows.

----

The more Gary and his son interact, the more annoyed Avocato is.

He needs to fix this. His relationship with his son was going to be rough to navigate through, and Avocato was well aware of that fact. But this is ridiculous, the kid is with his friend more than his biological father.

Right now, Little Cato is in his room according to the weird girl.

Avocato strides down the hallway, then knocks on the kid's door. Little Cato opens it after a few seconds, and his blank expression turns into excitement when he sees his dad.

"Hey, Dad! What's up?"

"Well, I was thinking that we could do a little father-son bonding," Avocato says, smiling at his son.

The boy lights up, pumping a fist in the air. "Yes! That is tight! I'll go grab Gary!"

Avocato's face scrunches up in confusion, and he grabs his son's shoulder before he can run off. He laughs awkwardly as the kid stops and tilts his head. "I was thinking just the two of us?"

"But...you said father-son bonding?"

Little Cato's confused expression shockingly resembles Gary's, and he tries to ignore it.

"Just us today. It'll be just like old times, right?"

His son still looks confused, and maybe even a little worried, but he puts on a smile anyways. "Um, okay. What are we doing?"

Avocato smiles, knowing that his son is going to love this. He leads him to the weapons room and spreads his arms out, gesturing towards the array of guns set out.

"We're gonna fix these babies up, just like we used to!"

Avocato's ecstatic smile drops when he sees the boredom already on his son's face, but Little Cato scrambles to appear excited when he notices his father looking at him.

"Well," Avocato says, at a loss for words for one of the first times in his life, "Let's, uh, get going!"

They both sit down and begin working in silence. Avocato is content enough with the calm quiet and rudimentary cleaning and replacing of parts. Little Cato, on the other hand, looks like he'd rather be anywhere else.

"Hey, that's a GXV-76 over there. You always wanted one of those, so I'll let you deal with that one," Avocato says, knowing that his son will at least enjoy that.

Instead of the expected reaction, his son stiffens as he sees the gun, and he laughs nervously. "You can do that one. I'm kinda over those now, anyways."

"Well, what's your new favorite blaster, then?"

Little Cato shrugs. "Dunno, haven't really thought about it much."

Well, that's new to Avocato. His son not being obsessed with weapons of all kinds? Come to think of it, the gun he uses now is one that he had no interest in previously.

They fall into an awkward silence again.

"So, uh, what's some stuff you did before all of this?" Avocato tries to ask, hoping he doesn't come off as pushy.

"Other than trying not to die, a bunch of stuff. Ash taught me how to paint nails. Gary's been giving me homework and stuff since there isn't a school in this area." Little Cato laughs at his own joke. "Oh! Gary and I play this game called—!"

"How about something that doesn't involve Gary?" Avocato cuts in, a little too forcefully. "Something that's just Little Cato."

The young Ventrexian's face falls, the excitement draining from his eyes. He shrugs. "I don't know? Everything's been so hectic lately, and when we were first on the ship, I was with Gary most of the time."

The conversation falls as Avocato's increasing frustration with this bonding activity makes its presence known. This is not going according to plan.

Does Gary really have that much of an influence over his son?

As if the universe just wants to make Avocato's life as difficult as possible, Gary happens to walk by the room. The blond stops as he notices them, bounding into the room with a bright smile on his face.

"There you two are! I've been looking all over for you!" Avocato doesn't miss how Little Cato brightens like the rising sun when Gary comes. "You two wanna get in on a team squad BS game?"

His son leaps out of his seat, running up and doing a weird handshake with Gary. The two of them laugh when they finish, and Avocato's chest tightens.

Gary's smile turns towards his best friend, the signature Gary Goodspeed smile that Avocato knows from back when everything made sense.

"What d'you say, buddy? Ready to get beat by me yet again?"

He smiles tightly. "Oh, just you wait, baby. I'll finish this up and be there in a few."

His son nods and bounces out of the room, trailing on Gary's heels to go be with the rest of the crew.

The anger morphs into rage.

----

Another night of Little Cato going to Gary for comfort over him, even though they were in the same room at the time.

Little Cato has a panic attack one day, and Gary is the one to calm him down.

They dance to some music called Loggins.

Little Cato wrestles and spars with Gary.

Gary ruffles his son's hair.

Gary plays games around the ship with his son.

Gary is the first to praise his son when he does something impressive.

Gary and Little Cato.

Gary and his son.

Gary and his son.

Gary and his son.

The rage consumes him.

----

"Gary, we need to talk about something."

The blond turns around, an open expression on his face. "Yeah? What's up, man?"

Avocato doesn't sit down across from Gary. He stands over him, a deep frown on his face.

"You can stop fathering Little Cato, you know."

Gary's face scrunches in confusion—just like Little Cato—as his mouth opens and closes as he tries to process his friend's words. He moves his hands around aimlessly, not knowing how to react.

Finally, he speaks, "What?" Confusion laces his voice.

"I know that you had to do it while I was gone, but now that I'm back, you can step back now, Gary. You don't have to do everything for him anymore," Avocato states.

Gary laughs incredulously. "Avocato, I don't think I can just stop being his dad."

"Yes, you can! It's simple!" he growls in frustration.

Gary stands and stares into Avocato's eyes, searching for something within them. He looks for a solid few seconds, and he steps back when he doesn't find what he's looking for, his face portraying the definition of devastation.

"You're serious?"

"Yes, why would I joke about this?"

Gary splutters. "Because you sound ridiculous! Do you even know what you're saying?!"

"Gary! Yes! I can parent him on my own, just like it was supposed to be before everything!" Avocato shouts.

"I can't just stop," his friend says sadly. "It'll crush the kid to lose another person."

The Ventrexian waves off his concerns, rolling his eyes. "He's a tough kid, he'll get over it."

Gary crosses his arms, lifting an eyebrow as a challenge. Avocato glares at him in response, not appreciating how Gary has been way too eager to keep his son so far.

"Do you really know that, Avocato? You haven't been around the kid in over three years; he's not the son you knew anymore," he states calmly. "He–he won't react the way you think he will, trust me, buddy."

Avocato scoffs. "Yeah, the reason why I don't know my own son anymore is because you changed him! He doesn't even care about GXV-76's anymore, and he loves them!"

Gary stops at that. "Is that the yellow gun? With the curved handle?"

He huffs in response, nodding his head as his rage continues to grow.

His friend groans, burying his bead into his hands and then throwing them out with frustration. "He tried to kill himself with that gun! This is why I'm trying to tell you that you don't know anything about him anymore!"

"He what?" Avocato whispers, glaring at Gary in shock. Fury overcomes him as he shouts, "No wonder the boy is so fucked up. The only reason I don't know my son anymore is because of you!"

"Avocato—"

"No!" He's seething, his chest rising erratically. "Gary, this is my job, and I don't want you to keep taking my kid away from me!"

Gary's face is white as a ghost, his hands shaking. "I just want to help you guys, that's all. Isn't it better to have more people in the kid's corner? Helping out?"

"Help is fine, but you're not doing that," he growls. "You can't take my son away from me!"

"...Dad?"

Gary and Avocato whip their heads towards the doorway, and there stands Little Cato, Mooncake trailing behind him. The boy's eyes are dilated, fear reflecting across his face.

"What's going on?" Little Cato whispers, his voice shaking.

"Don't worry about it, buddy. It's just a dad to dad conversation," Gary says, somehow managing to sound calm.

"But—"

Gary smiles encouragingly at the boy, but the kid just keeps looking between Avocato's angry and surprised face and the other man. "It's okay, Spidercat."

Avocato groans, "This is what I'm talking about, you need to stop!"

"Okay, Avocato, this is clearly not the time," Gary tries to reason, and for some reason, he's still so fucking calm.

"Tell me what's going on," Little Cato pleads, walking up to his dads.

"Buddy, it's fine—"

"No, you two are upset—"

"And I said it's—"

"Tell me, please!"

"Spidercat, not now—"

"Yes, now—"

"Enough!" Avocato roars, silencing them both instantly. Both of their shocked faces—they look so alike—turn towards him. "Boy, get the hell out of here!"

Little Cato flinches back at his dad's tone, full of rage and hatred and weeks of pent up emotions, and tears pool in his eyes. Avocato hears gasps from the hallway, and he turns towards the other members of the ship all crowded around the doorway.

His attention is brought back to Gary when the man grabs him by the shoulder, heatedly forcing him to turn around. Avocato's glower drops from his face when he sees one on Gary's, the emotion of pure fury looking wrong and foreign on the generally happy guy's face.

"Don't you ever yell at him like that again," Gary says, quiet and strong like an incoming storm. Avocato notices that Little Cato has moved to stand next to Gary. "This kid is the best thing that will ever happen to either of us, okay? He's my son as much as he is yours, whether you like it or not. If he gets the chance to have more than one parent, I will never take that opportunity away from him."

Little Cato's head whips up to stare at Gary in what looks to be fright, then he stares at Avocato in shock. "You don't want him to be my dad anymore?"

The raw hurt in his son's voice causes Avocato to falter in his rage, pausing momentarily before continuing on his rampage. "You have me now! And all you've been doing is spending time with him over me! I barely know you anymore!"

Little Cato shakes his head, his face absolutely distraught.

Gary moves to stand slightly in front of his son, something that Avocato cannot let slip from his notice. "Avocato," Gary says calmly. "Come on, man! Let's not fight, you're obviously upset and not thinking straight."

"You stole my son away from me!"

"He didn't steal me," Little Cato says firmly, his voice cracking. It slows his anger. "I want both of you to be my dads!"

Something inside of Avocato—something fierce and powerful and conflicting, that feels almost familiar—sparks. His glare sharpens as he growls, throwing his arms out furiously. A culmination of everything, especially the way his own son is cowering behind the man that stole him away, lights that spark.

"You would choose him over your own father?!" Avocato screams, guttural and full of rage like the force of a typhoon.

The sound almost echoes, fading into a dead silence. Little Cato and Gary have blank expressions on their faces, but his son's quickly turns into one of horror as he steps out from behind Gary and—

click

Avocato is frozen in place, staring down the barrel of a gun that must not have been one that Little Cato tried to commit suicide with, because his son has a gun pointed directly at his chest. Little Cato's face is a mix between terrified and determined, his eyes sharp, yet they almost have the appearance of being empty. The tears shine against his fur where they fall. No one is making a sound or moving, the tension almost tangible.

"Little Cato," Avocato breathes, shocked beyond belief.

"I'm not letting you shoot him again!" his boy screams, his arms shaking from holding his gun so tight.

Avocato glances to Gary, who also looks horrified at the kid in front of him. The blond slowly moves to be in front of Avocato, and Little Cato's facial expression stays the same. Gary gently kneels down in front of his son and whispers, "Buddy, it's Gary. Everything's okay, no one is trying to kill anyone."

The boy shakes his head. His eyes remain glossed over. "No no no, he's gonna kill you! He's mad at you and me and he's gonna try to kill us," the kid cries.

"We're on the Crimson Light. Avocato and I just got into a bit of an argument—," Gary takes this pause to glare at the Ventrexian who's still frozen in spot. "—that got pretty heated. Something upset you, but everything is fine right now."

Little Cato sobs. "No, he's gonna kill you! He thinks you stole me from him!"

Gary takes in a shaky breath. "No, he doesn't, Spidercat. You can put down the gun."

"But—"

Gary gently places his hands on top of Little Cato's, pushing it down to face the floor when the boy offers no resistance to the motion. The gun clatters to the floor as Little Cato's grip slackens. His eyes focus again, and he starts blinking rapidly through the tears. He glances at the two men in front of him, his eyes widen, then he bursts into sobbing as he falls to the ground. Gary catches him and holds him protectively in his arms, quickly whispering reassurances and comforting words to him.

Avocato steps back, his eyes wide and breath coming fast as everything that has happened comes crashing into clarity. He did this to his son.

"Gary, I—," Avocato starts, but Gary's heated glare shuts him up.

"Don't say a single word right now," he orders, his voice staying scarily calm.

He stands, picking up Little Cato into his arms and holding the boy's head to his shoulder. He tosses a sideways glance towards Avocato, making the Ventrexian back away from them. As Gary enters the hallway, the crew parting to let him through, a sobbing boy in his arms, he stops.

Everything is silent for several moments other than the sound of crying, then Gary says in a frigid voice, "None of you let him out of here."

He walks away with Little Cato, and Avocato falls to his knees, punching the ground with a shaking fist.

The rage dies.

----

"I don't even think I could possibly tell you how mad I am right now," Gary says, the rage buried within the usually easygoing man making itself clear.

Avocato doesn't lift his gaze from his hands in his laps as he sits hunched over on a bench.

Gary sighs and slams down in the spot next to him. "If you ever try to do that to Little Cato again, I will not hesitate to snap on you."

"Noted," Avocato says.

The two stay silent as Gary leans back and crosses his arms. Avocato doesn't want to see the anger on Gary's expression because of the guilt swirling viciously inside of him, and his friend's reaction will only make it worse.

Would Gary even want to be his friend after this?

"I'm sorry."

"You should be."

Avocato wants to voice his need to apologize to his son, but Gary probably knows that and won't let him even near the kid. Honestly, Avocato agrees. He hurt his son badly and his best friend, too.

A sniffle makes him finally look at Gary, only to see the blond wiping tears away.

He reaches a hand out, maybe for comfort, but retracts it almost immediately. "Gary—"

"I had Ash and Fox hide all of the guns on the ship while Little Cato cried himself to sleep again. I had to tell him that it wasn't his fault that he pulled a gun on his father again," Gary whispers, his voice cracking again. He finally looks at Avocato, and the stress on his face makes Avocato's heart clench. "That it wasn't his fault that you didn't want me to be his dad anymore.

"It doesn't matter if we don't agree on parenting decisions or whatever, Avocato. The kid isn't gonna see it like that. He's been through so much, he can't lose a dad again. I don't care if you don't want me to do it, and I can't blame you for it...but he isn't the son you knew. You have to accept that."

Gary sighs, scrubbing his face tiredly and blinking away stray tears. "What you did to him just now, and in the past, you're gonna have to work hard to earn that trust back."

"What if he doesn't want me back?" Avocato chokes out.

Gary looks him dead in the eyes, complete exhaustion radiating from his body. "You're just going to have to live with it." The human squeezes his shoulder as he stands up, walking towards the entryway. He stalls, his hand holding the wall and his back towards Avocato. "I'll tell you when our son can handle looking at you without feeling immense guilt."

Then he walks away, almost stumbling from how mentally exhausted he has to be.

A large part of his brain knows that Gary will never forgive him for the way he has treated Little Cato, and he deserves that. He may not've had a strong relationship with his boy, but now they're starting from square one.

A tear slips down his cheek, and he wipes it away with his thumb.

In the void where rage once burned, regret floods over the ashes.