#now i’m up fuck off early too bc some fuckin construction truck was beeping for like 5 minutes straight

[transmechanicus]

i am canonically stupid

Love being repeatedly tormented by impossibly blissful dreams of my high school ex for literal days until in a moment of weakness i look up their blog on here. Not healthy to begin with but not really healed by discovering that they’re still being a complete freak and if i’m reading this correctly they’re getting called out for faking DID and literal actual pedophilia so uhhhhhh. I gotta process that. Maybe throw up my soul and rinse it under some hot water. Like this is a great decapitation of my desire to reconcile with them but mom holy fuck i’m revolted to my core. I literally logged on like “Wow that dream was really emotionally difficult maybe something’s trying to get me to reach out” and then got hit by the arguably foreseeable freight train of bullshit they swim in. Literal same behavior and ass jackery that made us breakup but worse bc it’s been 5 years and there’s like Negative growth, like holy shit. How did i forget this part? Who put these rose colored ass glasses on me? Fuck that, this mf is every bit the manipulative parasite i ripped myself away from may the dark gods swallow his soul.

to anyone reading this who wants to add to their blocklist, the blog is “rakhma” or maybe “rakma” idk i’m not looking again, i found it via the name “shiijose” and clicking the blog that was tagged as it previously. this isn’t a callout bc most of the blog is private (red flag tbh) or im blocked (or both) but the Top Posts tell a story i am reviled to have read. i do not advise looking into them if you have issues with the concept of p*dophilia or gr*oming from the looks of things. I can’t see post dates so here’s to hoping the last one was 2020 and the plague god killed their ass painfully. I think i need to purge cry a lil bit.