#now i truly feel like an old man ...
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you do it to yourself, you do / and that’s what really hurts
#rick and morty#rick sanchez#artsbotz#lol cry harder old man !!!!!!!#i have no idea if this looks good i feel like im gonna pass out. hopefully its good LOLLL#link is to my c137 playlist. which im also not sure is good ill have to relisten when i can think straight#used my new brush for this which is nearly exactly the same as my old one. but cooler.#maybe ill explain the playlsist tmrw if i remember. sorry its like so hastag angstcore#i literally only ever make misery playslists. theyre more fun. mayeb one day ill make a fun one#IDK WHY I DREWWWW thsi tbfh actaully idk truly. every time i draw smth im like Why did i do that#i forget what i was trying to convey. oh well#hopefully it makes some senseee. mayeb#ok soooo tired gonna pass oht now snzzzzzz
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ngl babes idk how much longer i can do this 😭
#personal#i know not everything is for me and thats fine#but idk im getting such fatigue with this band without it being the whole actual band#i know intimate gigs are important and special but like just continually doing these tiny runs#building up the hype and demand and the prices#knowing people keep getting their hopes up and get more desperate each time#and like saying everything is super limited and then adding more things#but never enough so that everyone gets a chance to experience something or is fully satisfied#it just feels super fucked like their management is just doing everything they can to squeeze every last penny out of people#without committing to a full tour#sorry im a bit drunk so im being quite hyperbolic but idk man im so over this whole project lol#i miss kyle and woody and will :(#like truly i look back at the old tour photos and im like those were the days 😭#this is now a full hate blog NOT just a joke hate blog#its not that deep lmao just im probably gonna not be so active with the blog until proper bas5 cause ampersand is pissing me off rn icl#girl imagine hating blue sky sm you start boycotting the entire album run 😭
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crying my eyes out with tears of joy 2sung really said "here look true love really can happen even in your mid 20s and does exist and it can be as normal and simple and as lovely as this" for all us asian queers out there like .......
#u dont get it yes its one thing to watch it in fiction but to see real life asian queer people fall so truly madly perfectly in love .....#as over 20s working adults ... like. I CANT EVEN TELL U HOW SPECIAL IT IS. TRULY TO FEEL SO SEEN.#ive NEVER had this my whole entire life and now as someone who is junsung's age i just feel so ... MUCH. so OVERWHELMED.#i cant explain it I CANT. 14 year old me would have NEVER thought id get to see this on TV. EVER. god. GOD.#his man 2#faiza talks
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I am going through a mild reading slump and of course my brain is trying to convince me to reread the lord of the rings
#the things is i have read lotr exactly 10 years ago and have not reread it since#i think i listened to the audiobook of the fellowship a few years ago but it's not the same things#and i really REALLY want to do a reread#but i have a block because what if i don't pick it up at the right time and what if i don't enjoy it as much as the first time?#my plan was maybe reading it in the summer when i won't have uni things to balance and i'll be able to really dive into the book#but in the past couple of days my brain has been telling me i should reread it now#and i know for a fact it's the wrong moment#i am way to busy and have to read so much for uni already#but on the other hand i am a mood reader so maybe in the summer i won't be in the mood to reread lotr#uuuuuuugh i truly feel what my old italian teacher used to say when she was like:#i kinda wish i'd break a leg so i could reread lotr unbothered#man she was so right#i think i might attempt reading a couple of pages and see what my heart tells me to do#i would also try to attempt reading it in the original english this time instead of the translated version but idk if my brain can do that#in conclusion i am going through a book crisis and i am doubting my brain thanks for coming to my tedtalk#cris speaks#the---hermit
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Oh yeah! I was talking about the whole radiation making him go blind and losing his iris and pupils thing lol, srry if I confused you
naa you're good!
I like the idea of Ronin Mikey actually losing his irises colors because of the radiation tho! it was treated so casually LIKE. that definitely would fuck shit up
he literally went blind because of radiation for a long time 💀
#I TRULY GET THE FEELING HE WOULD BE SO FUCKING NONCHOLANT ABOUT IT TOO#'Yeah i was exposed to too much radiation and i got blind for long while. but im peachy now'#'also my irises are completely white now lol'#LIKE GODDAMN OLD MAN.#ask
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I had a lot of the same issues with reload as I see you’re having, and I do think most of it is from the new team’s inexperience. They’re trying to recreate a game that made very purposeful decisions in its mechanics and cutscenes without understanding why those decisions were made, which really undermines the experience.
If the team had more experience under their belt, or had full creative decision on an entirely new game, I feel like they could make a really good game! Reload is not that though.
I completely agree anon. It's a shame too, because it's not an awful game, just a different one. I wish they hadn't tried to recreate FES as a test project on a shoestring budget when it was literally the benchmark for our modern Persona games. It changed so much, it's iconic, a cult classic.
I really wish they wouldn't have lied about not planning EpiAi beforehand so they could cover the fact that the game doesn't look all too good. I wish they hadn't charged $200 for an "Aigis Edition" and not include the dlc. I wish they hadn't sanitized and scrubbed the game about death and grieving of all things that were slightly upsetting. That's what ended up happening though, and as you said, they're trying to recreate a game that was very purposeful in its creation.
Reload was a cheap quick test that they knew would work because it has a wonderful story and dedicated fans. As long as they make it a fun popcorn game, they don't have to put in those purposeful additions or think about it much at all.
#compendiumnotebook#thank you for the ask anon!#These characters are new characters#This game is a new game#Its fine if this was your first expierence to P3 and its wonderful if you enjoyed it#I truly do believe Persona3 is a timeless test of art. I don't hold Reload in that same regard.#i wish they would have given them a new game to work on rather than remake an old game.#its already done though#just gotta look towards the future#man epiai was egregious#i really wanted to love it#and i did enjoy it more than base#the gameplay loop was super addicting#and i loved the chapel floor#but those characters and that story and how they retold it left a really bad taste in my mouth#loved erebus though!! he was fun. the model was p good in the dark#heartful cry was good and the colosseum fights were difficult#and metis was lovely#loved metis#but oh my god the downplay of yukari. the complete redaction and rewrite of scenes. unforgivable.#i really hated how i felt during the end of base and epiai#and i hate that i felt so sour.#its fine. I'm probably just gonna stay off twitter and away from reload stuff from now on.#gonna give it some time#maybe I'll go back and answer some questions in my inbox that i haven't yet#talk about and analyze fes some more#and when im feeling better maybe I'll go back to criticize and analyze why i didnt like reload as much#untill then
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Thinking about Kairi & Sora but mainly Kairi and going insane. Girl you have so many issues
#blue babbles#I think she should get worse actually I think it would fix her/hj#I think she needs to figure out who the fuck she is. I think she needs to figure out who she is completely without him#to become someone who isn’t defined by his presence or absence#I also think she should explore her gender. use he/him pronouns as a treat. she doesn’t gotta stick with them#but I think trying it out would be helpful.#I almost think she would benefit in a way that might screw her over a bit to think Sora is 100% dead and gone. not waiting for him not with#him not searching for him and sudden being forced to mourn him because there’s nothing else to do.#I think in a way she’s been mourning him for years already but to truly feel and acknowledge those feelings would be great for her#him coming back would screw her up a bit again (bc of course he’d come back) but in the end she’d have a better leg to stand on with ever#I also think being friends with Ventus might help her? I don’t know give her friends man. I want her to form connections.#I think Roxas and Naminé’s relationship with her should be explored too.#I need to put her under a microscope. I need to stick her in a blender. I need to watch her to be stripped down to her very core#and then build herself up again. she needs so much therapy#there is something very specific about the way I am insane about her in particular. she is has The Issues Ever to me I need to dissect her#I’m chewing on her like bubblegum. I love her she deserves so much better#also she deserves to be hugged. to be given so many hugs.#I think she needs to start over from the beginning with Sora and Riku. they need to build a new friendship instead of playing in the ruins#of an old one. they don’t know each other and they’ve known each other since they were small and they are now strangers.#I need them to not see each other for decades i need to lock them in a room together I need Kairi to punch them directly in the face#something she may struggle with because she is 5ft. but she deserves it#one of the characters ever I need her to scream at someone#there’s something about her that is just the ever. the character ever to me. I love her
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"if you think that kryptos was from flatland and you believe bill genuinely cared about him, meaning he had some fort of actual human connection to another flatlander, why did bill still end up destroying the place? wouldn't kryptos trying to stop him have either made him reconsider his actions, or made him get rid of kryptos entirely?" well you see when bill was burning flatland, kryptos was whooping and hollering and breaking out the champagne
#imo on paper bill and kryptos have the healthiest relationship bill has ever had-- hell off paper too#BUT it's really just because kryptos has like nearly alway agreed with bill's decision making except for small bickery things#that really don't matter#YEAH kryptos has some weird bad upsetting feelings about the second dimension being destroyed but it's very much a#'oh wait the catharsis is wearing off' thing#while it was happening? the minute he realized what was going on he was all for it#bill isn't even inhernetly trying to manipulate andy this is truly just their Dynamic. which is unhealthy in itself but! not intentionally#andy is so lost in the 'bill is the best person i know and he's always right' sauce that he genuinely doesn't want ot argue with bill#he just assumes bill is correct and right and any weird feelings he ever has are just flukes#meanwhile bill just would not know how to react if andy suddenly started disagreeing with him on anything serious#like??? this is andy. andy's smart he knows what's up why is he suddenly being Stupid#he would not handle it well but also he'll never have to because they're so weirdly codependent at this point that this is just the Dynamic#and it's not flat out abusive like every other dynamic in bill's life but man. Man.#'i was eight years old before anyone was ever really nice to me and actually wanted to be my friend and now eons later we're#just enmeshed but we do genuinely care about each other and it's the closest thing to healthy that we know so we don't think we have to#change anything about our dynamic'
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truly reverting back to my 13 year old self by rotating between star trek and star wars and kdrama as my only obsessions . . . oh, with a taylor swift october album and my crush on chris pine coming back in full force
#caroline talks#chris pine. . . truly i chose the right white boy chris to have a crush on#i remember being 13 and feeling odd about having a crush on a man who was 20 years older than me#and now I’m just like. yeah bestie I’m not just in love with a man 20 years older than me#I also have a mad crush on an actor who’s 30+ years older than me#I have a mad crush on an actor who is literally 44 years older than me too besties we have NO shame#13 year old caroline was a dilf enjoyer and 22 year old caroline is still a dilf enjoyer
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been at work for five hours now and a solid 50% of the songs that have played since 9.30am have been subpar covers of songs from the early aughts. it’s like the saddest fucking thing because like i love a good cover but people legit do not know how to make new songs anymore. there’s one beat that’s obviously difficult to translate into a text medium but legitimately every club song (which is most songs because people … aren’t making new songs that aren’t manufactured solely to be played in a nightclub by any bratty rich kid with a turntable among 14 other near-identical songs all also manufactured solely to be played in a nightclub by any bratty rich kid with a turntable) has it because they are quite literally all the same song
and oh my god it’s so fucking depressing. like i really and truly kept an open mind because i didn’t want to be like “back in my day blah blah blah” but like i’m a professional musician and it’s … literally the same song with slight variations and that’s the only song that exists now. that and covers on top of covers on top of covers
(i have to make it clear i am NOT talking about lizzo, she is beautiful and perfect and original and everything she does is magic. i love you lizzo)
#but like oh my god is this it is this the end of music#like as we careen into late stage capitalism it’s like …#things are really and truly only being made for money anymore#writers are banging out these songs as quickly as possible so they can make their quick buck#and half the time the songs have maybe like 4 words total in them bc the rest is just ‘remixed sample i ripped’#also like covers are fine i LOVE a good cover i promise i promise i promise but#the cover of Blue by Eiffel 65#is without a doubt the most soulless cover ive ever heard of anything in my whole life#besides the cover of Sk8r Boi that was done by Ashnikko#where the ENTIRE appeal of the song was that it started off mostly the same#and then suddenly ashnikko says ‘he couldn’t make her CUM’#and i guess that was like for shock effect? or something? and you’re like WHOAAA HOW EDGY#SHE TOOK A BELOVED EMO HIT OF THE 2000S AND MADE IT ABOUT SELF CAREAND ALSO SHE SAYS SWEARS IN IT!#*CARE AND#bc yeah sure THAT’S what makes a cover worth listening to#the fact that it’s hardcore now bc she mentioned sex and swearing#like not to be all old man yells at cloud but#i am so fucking tired man#it feels like a nightmare being in this time period#creativity’s completely dead and it only took 15 years to do it#listening to my parents’ music is different bc like yeah our music and theirs were quite different but#they were both unique and interesting! on both sides! but that’s not the case with the music now#like this is purely from an objective standpoint and the view of a legitimate musician lmao#anyway. rant over i just needed to put that somewhere and ive been trying to put more personal posts—#—on my tumblr lately because i used to do it all the time and people would actually talk to me then#and idk man i’m lonely i crave human connection especially lately#gotta stop self-isolating tbh#anyway. if i put too many tags they’ll get cut off at a certain point so adio#*adios.
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#going through my old writing tag is truly…. a trip through the darkest moments of my relationships and insecurities and fears and complete#destruction by a man who i continued to love when i had been bleached from his life#idk what possessed me to scroll through my old writings but now i’m just angry lmao and want to hug my younger self so tightly#wanting a fire to consume me was my default for so so long because of that relationship because of that person#and it just. isn’t a good feeling to revisit lol especially not from a man who knew better lmao like legitimately knew better and yet <3#anyways if you have an ex that still fucks with your brain chemistry and how you deal with things today just know i’ll kill them for you <3#ily
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Sometimes I just look at Isabeau and just know that if isat came out and I got into it when I was like 16 he would be my favorite character and I would've gone absolutely buck wild over this man and feel like he was laser targeting me. But alas Odile has a grip of steel on me rn due to her virtue of being a middle aged woman
#rat rambles#stars posting#I feel like the biggest change in my taste in characters as the years have gone by is Im now far more biased towards old ppl lol#although tbf I was also the one person in 2016 who actually liked asgore so maybe Ive always liked parhetic old ppl#but yeah the reason isa is past me bait is because hes an exploration and subversion of the sort of tropes I Hated as a kid#and I still dont like them so isa still appeals to me its just not as much as he would have to a younger me#I do genuinely love all the party very dearly tho theyre all soooo good#I think my favorite part of isabeau is how like. of everyone we get to see the least facets of him but like in a very good way#this is a man who hides and bottles shit hes so fun to rotate#his self image is so carefully controlled compared to everyone else which makes him an incredibly interesting character to analyze#and I love that despite him seeming like the most emotionally stable person here on the surface he still clearly has like. hashtag issues.#like he's in that beautiful zone where its so so fun imagining what it would look like to truly break him#<- normal things that normal ppl say. like me.#I may have my very light beef with alt looping aus as a concept but hes probably the most interesting alternate looper to me#also my light beef exclusively relates to king quest stuff which is why Im a big fan of duo looper aus with sif#but honestly. isa might be the only one that I genuinely think works better as a solo looper even with taking king quest into account#although bonnie comes close. I <3 looper bonnie I <3 seeing fictional children go through the horrors#I think theres a lot of fun to be had with any alt looper au tho I just am a huge king quest fan so I like it when my favorite elements of#it dont have to be handwaved#but yeah the real question is how would younger me feel about mirabelle#because on the one hand: acearo character#but on the other hand: I have always been a little hater abt romance so idk if younger me would rly be able to follow her character well#I wasnt exactly good at character analysis back then lol#except for the instances in which I was but I dont have that sort of faith in my younger self#yknow Im thinking abt my history of favorite characters now and I think me being one of few 2016 alphys enjoyers might have been a prophecy#she was my quote unquote third favorite but in reality she was second#I think she chara and peridot su teamed up to define my taste in fictional characters for the next several years#and somehow that lead to olivia becoming one of my favorite fictional characters of all time#I say somehow as if that isnt a very natural conclusion
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Oh by the corpses I think I’m loosing it. Earlier I just got back from a friends birthday get together for their 21ST. I’m a bit worn out so I go to watch some background entertainment on YouTube while a get my batteries for wow back (I heard there was a new important quest chain). I see some homestuck comic dubs in my feed. Odd, but makes sense as I have been listening to the music lately. So I turn on those old 3-4 year old videos thinking: “eh this is just some old dubs from 2015-16 might as well watch em while I recharge. See what this old decaying fandom had in its heyday”. I watch for a bit until I find a comp that BLINDSIDES me with a Covid reference comic. I look at the date, 4 years ago. After the video is finished I then proceed to realize that all those videos were from 2020-2022 and then start breaking down somewhat as I realize I’m getting old and starting to think “4 years ago was 2016” . Que this post . Honestly I can’t tell which is worse. The fact that 2016 was almost 10 years ago and as much as things change, every 5 or so years they kinda just reset a tiny bit in the transition from old to new to old again Or the fact that i might be a homestuck fan now. Nonsense of a mad[WOULD PREFER NOT TO SAY] in the tags as I don’t put that crabp in the main post.
#midnight brainrot#homestuck#truly to have read all of homestuck is to be changed#it seems#I swear it was like 2015 watching Steven universe comic dubs all over again#I knew this sort of thing would happen but not until my 30s I would think!#maybe young me was right and autistic people don’t live to see adult hood as I feel like I am rapidly aging into dust the more I think about#it.#I can’t get these bean shaped runty gits out of my brain stem. I DO NOT WANT THEM TO BE CONSISTENT CHARACTERS IN MY LISTEN TO MUSIC DAYDREAM#S#GET THEM OUT OF MY HEAD GET THEM OUT OF MY HEAD GET THEM OUT OF MY HEAD HET THEM OUT OF MY GEAD GET THEM OUT IF MY HEAD GET THEM OUT OF MY H#THEY DONT EVEN HAVE MERCH I CAN GET TO STRANGLE MY WAY OUT IF THIS#NO BIG HEAD PLUSHIES TO THROW AT WALLS AND TO CRUSH WITH MY BARE HANDS AND MAYBE A BOOK#maybe all this feeling old thing is also in small part due to the fact gravity falls is coming back from hibernation#like ”book droppped time to get out of cocoons and feed until it’s time to slumber again!#ugh I am tired but I really want to play wow today I almost unlocked earthen#I know they are rock dwarves but I like their accent. IF NO ONE IS GOING TO AUTISTIC CODE THESE ROBOTS IT SHALL BE ME#I mean monotone voices trying to sound natural? literally me#need specific orders to function and are trying to break away from it. at least somewhat? me: very much me#while they don’t fit the horde much#I can’t say I don’t like the idea of getting to play a dwarf without having to go to eugh. stormwind#ORGRIMMAR FOR LIFE BAYBEEEEE!!!!#man I derailed this posts tags. hope the person reading this had fun#I gotta go poop now ok bye
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I know Mai is sort of like the typical "kind of a bitch" female character that often has a lot of sexist tropes playing around, but for some reason... I actually like her?
#I don't know#She's rude and can be ruthless#but she actually seems kind of. not truly bad? Like a teen after all idk#A bit like how Todo seemed like the burly rude giant bully kind of guy but is sort of... sweet?#And though it surprised me at first it makes sense to me now that Todo and Mai seem to be... close?#They're The Mean Ones but actually they don't seem too bad idk#Kamo and Mechamaru gave me quite a more ruthless in a bad way feeling in that one Kyoto reunion they had with the disgusting old man#But it's also true they're Jujutsu teen sorcerers in that Jujutsu shitty society and their principal is asking this of them as is law#Megumi had that kind of reaction to Itadori as well at first because that's what the law says until he chose for himself otherwise#And the way it was presented with Gojo appearing later and asking about his 'personal feelings' and all that#as well as what we saw about the Tokyo school later on it seems like Gojo is enhancing#this 'think for yourself beyond the established rules' mindset to his students as opposed to the Kyoto school and that principal#I guessed right two months ago when I said I imagined the second school would be in Kyoto and that they'd be more traditional#Anyway... I can't truly blame the Kyoto kids either. I hope they get more critical about the situation#And I hope they beat the old man up in group with large sticks#All together united by how disgusting that guy is and how much he deserves to go down ✨💕#Utahime dear... I want to love you. What's your opinion on the old man? Do you like him? Do you share these views?#The fact that Gojo trusted her about the mole but didn't say anything to the old man gives me some hope#She also told the students to try and help each other a bit even if they're competing against each other#And Miwa and Todo seem kind of dear kids. I hope. I don't know. I hope she's not okay with sending kids to kill other kids#I'm not asking Nanami levels of decent but idk Gojo‚ Ijichi and Shoko levels perhaps?#Or at least I hope she'll be an interesting awful if she's going to be awful#WAIT#TODO IS A KID#What was he doing fighting super powerful curses one year ago in that one Geto terrorist attack?#He was a second year?!#Why did they send him?#He goes to school!#Kamo said something about how age doesn't matter in Jujutsu BUT IT DOES. ASK NANAMI#Nanami please can you become the Kyoto teacher? Those kids need someone decent. WHY DID THEY SEND TODO
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i have to have five hobbies going at once to offset the gravitational pull of insta reels
#every time i start automatically opening reels i feel like shitttttt#but ive stopped again at least for now#hobbies rn: solitaire. coding. 3d modelling. gaming. crochet. uhhh maybe more#fuck with me. the joyyyy of creation of of doing a puzzle.#i need to put a solitaire app on my 3ds. orrrr just other puzzle ones#my granny used to have mahjong on her ds which was my old ds 💖 and i used to like playing that#ohhhhh the ds man. truly the worlds handheld.
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You know what, time for something more light-hearted and petty for a thousandth post compared to the... ahem... events I've been discussing lately.
Russian Mind is by far OPN's best album (of the several I've heard anyway) and the fact that it's the only main album with the Oneohtrix Point Never name without a Wikipedia page is flat-out criminal!
Even mid-ass Zones Without People recently got a Wikipedia page? Like, come on! We've gotta end this drought! "Physical Memory" and "Time Decanted" need more attention by any means necessary!
#1000 posts#1000th post#it's been a mostly fun 1000 posts and i thank all of you few who have been with me for it (whether or not it was for any of the mkm stuff)#oneohtrix point never#russian mind#russian mind opn#i apologize if anyone feels offended by the zones without people album slander#it's funny how starting off last year this was maybe my least favorite of the rifts trilogy only for it to just skyrocket over time#now it's flat-out one of my favorite albums of the entire 2000s if not of all time#“physical memory” is definitely one of my favorite late-00s tracks it honestly deserves to be longer than it already is!#honestly the stuff from opn's prime sounds both too new and too old to be from the late 2000s in the sense that it just sounds timeless#opn can still make some good music today but man what i wouldn't give to have at least one more album like russian mind or even returnal...#opn#like when the weakest track by far is still a pretty good closer that's a good sign for a truly legendary album (in my heart anyway)#i know pretty much every fan of early opn has already gushed about “physical memory” but it's real tempting to do it myself#and “time decanted” is majestic too!#2000s electronic music#also funny how opn's had the same record label for a decade-plus after a different label for each of the first SIX albums!#(and that's if you don't count eccojams or instrumental tourist or channel pressure or the dania shapes albums even though i do count them!
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