#I think in a way she’s been mourning him for years already but to truly feel and acknowledge those feelings would be great for her

[blue-eli]

Thinking about Kairi & Sora but mainly Kairi and going insane. Girl you have so many issues

[madwomansapologist]

stay soft, get eaten | tanjiro kamado x hashira!reader

tanjiro was accused of treason, and there was more than enought proof for you to cut his head and damn his existence. that was your duty as a hashira. but as a friend, you couldn't. you could never.

cw: angst. hurt/barely any comfort. childhood friends to strangers to lovers. kny level of violence. death and gore. more than one character actively trying to kill nezuko.

an: messing around with the idea of an oc. can anyone rec an artist that accepts commissions? another chapter of me finding a way to put a undertale reference on my fics.

A ghost stood before you, forcing you to face your past.

Once more you were that innocent girl unaware of how your life would change. Focused on the basket between your hands, making sure to protect the bread inside it from the snow, you had no real worries.

You didn't saw the blood. You didn't smell the putrid stench. It was right in front of you, and still you noticed nothing. How you despise that clueless girl. She knew the world was a kind place. She didn't believed that, she knew that: nothing bad has ever happened for her to think otherwise.

How dumb you were. To only notice the blood after stepping on it.

You never truly understood what it meant to be a person until that very moment. To be alive is to have a body, and to have a body is to suffer. A layer of skin, a layer of fat, a layer of muscles, a layer of bones. Nothing can change that.

And blood. So much blood. You threw up on the snow, and continued until your throat burned. With the scarlet red carved on your eyes, you saw the graves. That made you remember exactly where you were.

Kie Kamado. Takeo Kamado. Hanako Kamado. Shigeru Kamado. Rokuta Kamado. Nezuko Kamado. Tanjiro Kamado.

All dead.

You were shaking when he came. Was it because of the snow falling on your skin for hours on end, the empty on your stomach, or the violent cries taking over your body? When you left with Giyu Tomioka, you knew why: you were enraged.

From then on, you trained. You almost died, then did it all again. Until you reached perfection. Every movement, every breath, every muscle of your body. You made yourself excelent. You protected those that couldn't, killed oni after oni, slayed a kizuki without hesitation.

That innocent girl you despise died because of what you saw that night. That girl you envy, that had silly dreams and could afford not to learn it was already time to grow for a few more years died that night. So why you're looking at Tanjiro's sleeping face?

Unaware of the string muzzling your heart as if it was a beast in need of taming, the Pillars argued around you. You couldn't quite catch their words, all meaning lost in the air around you.

You pinched yourself, as if you didn't already knew it wasn't a nightmare. Life taugh you a funny trick: when you don't know what's happening, all you had to do is to imagine the worst possible scenario and accept it as reality.

And so you knew: you were late that night. More than you could ever imagine. Late so you couldn't see they alive, couldn't help Tanjiro, couldn't save Nezuko. And Giyu lied to you. If not, he at least omit the truth from you.

"Tomioka", you interrupted Tengen, just now realizing the voice you heard belong to him. You have never been so upset, and still your concentration on your breathing technique never shattered. "You knew from the start, didn't you?"

"I believe Shinobu said-", Mitsuri thought you had misunderstood Shinobu's report, but decided to remain silent when she noticed your clenched fists. She observed you, more carefully now, and saw the truth.

After all, when someone does their best not to cry the only decent thing is to pretend they're doing a good job.

Giyu didn't return your gaze. You were almost grateful for it. You don't know if you could endure his coldness now. "You found me mourning his family, and knowing he was alive you chose to say nothing."

How loud the silence that came after it was. Not a single breath was heard by your attentive ears. In the absence of an response, you found one: your trick never fails you.

Kyojuro turned to you, his smile brighter than the sun. "All slayers involved in this case shall face punishment", Kyojuro's energy had no effect on you. "We'll find a way to punish the Water Hashira."

Instead of moving forward, you looked back. "Tomioka", your calm voice made him look at you. This time, you were ready for what you would face. Even know, he was so aloof. What a nice act.

Giyu Tomioka gave you no comfort when he found you that night, only the truth. Giyu Tomioka told you a tale of demons and slayers, of blood and ashes. Giyu Tomioka gave you a reason to get up, clean the vomit on your face, and pray one last time for the family that always treated with care.

"What I do now?", the wind shoved your tired words towards ears. "How can I stop then?"

Giyu thought about your questions for a while. Just when he decided it was best to turn his back on you, something on your eyes stopped him. They burned. "There is a cultivator a few cities away."

You smiled.

Mitsuri gasped. She can still smile at him even now, her dreamy eyes gazed upon you. Sweet like sakuramochi. And as pretty too.

You thought about hiding yourself behing Gyomei when Tanjiro started to wake up. You didn't, you couldn't move. As he tried with sleepy words to protect his sister, you stood as quiet as you could. But his eyes found you, and for a second the world around you faded away.

⋆✦⋆

Tanjiro was dreaming again.

As the Pillars argued about his future execution, Tanjiro couldn't quite believe it all was really happening. Broken bones, exhausted mind, sore muscles. He must be hallucinating from the pain. That's the only possible explanation.

Because you're right in front of him, and that only happens when he dreams.

And still, even so sure it was just a fantasy from his tired mind, Tanjiro could do nothing but to stare at your sweet eyes and pretend it was reality.

How he wish to go back in time and be that boy who worried if you would look at him at during his daily walks throught the village. He could almost feel the softness of your hair against his once scarless palm, hear the poems you declamed with such a passion, see the careful way you treated your siblings.

Tanjiro isn't that boy anymore, and your perfume reminds him of apple and cinnamon. You smell like exhaustion and regret. Like hopes and dreams. Kindness and duty.

"Were you happy?" He interrupted one of the Pillars, not that he ever heard about them before, and in response to his disrespect Tanjiro was shoved on the ground. He contorced his body to look at you, ignoring everything else. "Was life good to you?"

Your smile burned your cheeks, so big it showed a bit of your gums. Usually you tried to keep it cover, but not this time. This time you could afford to smile without a care. "No, it wasn't", you answered with a voice covered in honey. "But I made it good."

Tanjiro smiled. The pain, the loneliness, the fear: it all disappeared. Smelling joy, Tanjiro was glad it wasn't a dream. But of course that meant the execution discussed was real too.

"That won't be a problem, right?" Shinobu questioned. "As a Pillar, we expect you to do what must be done."

Looking into his eyes, a stare so strong you felt hazy, you didn't hesitate. "The only mercy a demon deserves is a of a quick death." You turned to Shinobu, so she could see you meant it. "It's our duty to do so."

"And the boy?" Shinobu smiled, but it was so emotionless. It felt like a performance, but to what audience? Who Shinobu was trying to fool? You can't imagine.

You could feel his gaze burning your temples. "I won't pretend to be our Master and decide his fate", you wondered if your eyes were emotionless too. Were you trying to fool someone? "I know my place."

As Rengoku reenforced Tanjiro was to be killed by his act of treason, you looked at him again. Hoping to see disgust on his eyes, you saw something you couldn't really comprehend. Something warm and soft.

You saw your Tanjiro again. That sweet boy who would protect you from the snow, even if he would get sick because of it. You wondered if he saw that girl you once were. If he could remember your tales and desires.

You hope that girl is still alive somewhere safe. It would be enough for her to be alive on his mind.

She would've protected Tanjiro now. Don't matter the size of the threat, she would fail but would never give up. Now you're bigger than most threats out there in the world, but nothing could change the fact Tanjiro protected a demon.

You stood quiet, dreaming about a world were demons were still just tales. You smelled like defeat.

⋆✦⋆

And still, despite your desire to never speak again, you couldn't ignore it.

"Nezuko glowed, Master", you gather all your strenght to disagree. It pierced your very soul to do so, but how could you agree with that? "She was the jewelof our village. A dear friend, my Flower, so kind and generous."

You felt the weight of his gaze on you, knowing that Tanjiro would never look at you again. You love him, you really do, but if he really wanted to protect Nezuko he would let her go. You would be kind. You would do it swiftly, and endure the weight of her death for him.

"She doesn't deserve to be remembered as one of them", you said. "If her body won't be respected, then let her soul be. Allow me to free her, please."

Mitsuri would do anything Master asked for, but that made her desire he would want something else. That's a sort of strenght I didn't knew you had, Mitsuri thought to herself. Am I strong like that?

Looking into Tanjiro's eyes, you didn't noticed as Sanemi moved. You only understood when he screamed, and Iguro decided to put him down on the ground. Again and again, Sanemi pierced the box, offending Nezuko.

"Master, forgive me for this", you raised your voice. You would never do that in front of your Master, but he was the one to start this. In a instant, you were besides him with your sword on your hands. "But if Sanemi will be cruel, I will be fast."

But before you could cut off her head, Nezuko looked away.

"Flower?" You asked, sword falling down on the ground. "Are you in there?"

Nezuko hugged you, and once again a Kamado shattered your world.

if you enjoyed, please reblog! i promise it makes a difference ♡

general taglist: @lovelyy-moonlight

@ madwomansapologist.tumblr.

[redskull199987]

MIKE SCHMIDT!!?!?!?!

FNAF MOVIE ATE SO HARD okay but what about Mike Schmidt (aka Josh my childhood crush frfr) x eeader who was his childhood friend and despite her being obviously in love with him he never realized because of Geretts death his job problems and Abby so he always took everything for a "friendly gesture" (even though Abby told him multiple times and the overfriendliness duh) and one day after that one girl (the babysitter girl, something with M, forgot her name) didn't come he finally called her to babysit Abby which made her mad happy, and when she arrives before he leaves they maybe have a small romantic interaction which gets (sadly) interrupted by Abby by accident so he awkwardly leaves after that to work? This would be kind of a cliff hanger but I have this perfectly pictured in mind and I need someone to write this down, so please 🤞🏻 Thanks a lot, love you!!!

Waiting for Her

Mike Schmidt x fem!reader Request

Word Count:1.8k

Warnings:nothing basically, maybe a bit of anxiety on the readers side, but apart from that, it’s fluff, Movie spoilers obviously

Summary:You hadn’t seen your childhood friend Mike in years. And you certainly didn’t expect to see him anytime soon again. But what you didn’t plan on was him calling you to ask if you could babysit his little sister. And how could you say no to the man who was your first ever crush…

Masterlist

You didn’t plan on going out again today. Strictly speaking, you were actually about to go to sleep, since you had a long day at work and all you wanted to do was to fall into the comfort of your bed.

But right, as you entered your bedroom to get ready for the night, you heard your phone ringing from the hallway. Your brows furrowed in confusion, as you didn’t know who in the world would be calling at such ungodly hours.

You glanced at the clock on your wall once more, it was already 11pm, before you made your way towards your phone. Your suspicions only rose, as you didn’t recognize the number. But against all odds, you decided to answer.

“Hello?”, you asked gingerly, your voice slightly shaking.

Your Paranoia quickly dissolved into nothingness, as the Person on the other Side of the Line quickly answered:”Y/N? This is Mike, Mike Schmidt.”

“Mike?”, You wondered,”As much as I enjoy hearing from you again, why are you calling me in the middle of the Night?”

“If it were possible? My usual Babysitter didn’t show up and I can’t leave Abby alone.”, he tried to explain.

“Uh, this is kinda out of nowhere, but I was wondering if you could babysit my little sister?”, he asked, the slight Embarrassment in his voice painfully obvious.

To say that you were taken aback by his question would’ve been an understatement:”Like right now?”

Your mind was reassembling a hurricane for a minute, as your thoughts were racing towards every possible answer that You could give him. Were you tired and wanted to sleep? Of course, you were. But you also wanted to help out Mike, he was your childhood best friend after all. Even if you didn’t see each other in quite a while. After his little Brother died, he distanced himself from you more and more. You didn’t judge him, he was mourning after all, but you couldn’t deny the pang in your heart every time you thought back to him.

“So?”, Mike inquired after you didn’t answer,”Do you think it would be possible?”

You didn’t give yourself enough time to think it over once more. It seemed like you answered on autopilot:”Ehm, sure. Just tell me your address and I’ll come over.”

Mike quickly thanked you and gave you his address, you scribbled it down on a small Post-it-Note, before hanging up. You could only stare at your phone in silence. What the hell did you just agree on? Were you truly ready to see Mike again? What would he think if he saw you? Surely, you had changed quite a bit since you last saw him. And even more important, how did he look now? What was going on in his life? 

Since you were to babysit his little Sister, you thought that he was probably taking care of her. Where were his Parents? Did they die? Was Mike really raising his little sister on his own? Or did he have someone? A Partner potentially?

Your eyes widened. What if he did have a Partner? Not that it was any of your business, but you didn’t forget how much of a Crush you had on him back then. But he was your best friend, so you didn’t say anything.

And then you grew apart.

You quickly shook your head, trying not to overthink it too much. You looked back at your phone and realized in horror, that You had been standing there in the Hallway for ten minutes, just staring to the ground.

“Oh Shit!”, You mumbled to yourself and quickly jogged back to your room to throw on a pair of Jeans and grab your jacket. With your keys in one hand and your Phone in the other, You made your way out of your Apartment and towards your car. You took one last deep breath in and looked back to your Home, before finally starting the car and driving to the Address, Mike had given you.

With your hands slightly shaking, You knocked on the Door of an inconspicuous Apartment. You could see Lights coming from the inside and a Car was parked in Front, so You knew someone was Home. You just hoped that it was the right address and that you didn’t accidentally scare some People by randomly knocking on their Door.

But as the Door swiftly opened, you presumed that your assumptions were unnecessary. In front of you, stood a tall young Man with curly Brown hair. He was wearing a Security west over his Hoodie, it even had a small Badge pinned to it. He may have looked different, but Eyes were the same. You were sure that you would recognize his Eyes in every other Universe. And it were exactly those eyes that were staring at you in disbelief right now.

“Mike?”, You finally said, a smile now lacing your lips. All Anxiety aside, you were just happy to see him again. The Boy you had seen everyday when You were a kid had now grown into a man. And a pretty handsome one on top of that.

“Y-Yeah, it’s me.”, Mike mumbled, running a hand through his hair,”You…You look really pretty.”

You felt heat rising to your cheeks and you quickly looked to the ground, the smile on your face only growing bigger.

“I missed you.”, You finally said,”Mind if I ask for a Hug?”

Mike only shook his head, already stepping closer to you, slinging his arms around your waist. As his warmth engulfed you, you realized once more how much you had missed him, so You made sure to give him an extra-large squeeze before the two of you parted.

Mike only looked at you, with what you thought was adoration, in his eyes, before he asked you inside.

“So, what have you been up to?, You asked, as you carefully glanced around his apartment. It wasn’t particularly big, but it looked cozy. You spotted a TV in front of a Sofa in the living room and directly following it was the small kitchen with a round table in the middle. You presumed that the hallway led to the bathroom and Abby’s and Mike’s Bedrooms.

“Oh you know, this and that. Mainly looking after my sister.”, Mike finally answered your question, as he grabbed his car keys from the living room and came back to you,”What about you?”

“Nothing too interesting.”, You smiled politely,”I work in a boring office and live in a boring Apartment and go to the same boring Mall now and then.”

“No Partner or something like that?”, Mike asked with furrowed Brows and you saw the regret on his face, as he realized that his question may have been a bit too straight forward.

But You only chuckled, trying to lighten the Mood:”No, I don’t have a Partner. Why?”

“Oh you k-know..”, he mumbled, looking to the Ground,”I thought, someone as pretty as you would have a Partner.”

You were quite sure that you must have looked dumbfounded as hell, but neither Mike nor you got any chance to say anything, as you saw a small Girl running down the Hallway, towards the two of You.

“Mike! I wanna come with You”, She quietly whined and grabbed his arm. Mike only gave you an apologetic look, before leaning down to her height:”Abby, we talked about this. You know, it’s too dangerous for you to come.”

Abby only pouted in response and now, her gaze finally fell onto you. Her big brown eyes inspected you from top to bottom:”Is that the Girl you always talk about?”

Now it was Mike’s turn to blush, as he swiftly rose to his feet again:”This is Y/N. She will look after you tonight. We were friends when we were about your age.”

“Oh, I feel honored.”, You chuckled,”Tell me, what do you wanna do tonight?”

You gave the small girl a warm smile, before also leaning down to her height, just as Mike had done it mere seconds ago.

“I’m Y/N. Nice to meet you, Abby”, You said and held your hand out for her to take it. She looked at it for a second, before gently grabbing and shaking it:”I like you.”

“Mike only lets me stay up until 12”, Abby pouted and glared at her older Brother.

You looked back and forth between them for a second. She really was a lot like her brother, you noted.

“I tell you something, come here.”, You motioned for her to step closer and as she did, You mumbled something into her ear, so that Mike couldn't hear it,”I’ll let you stay up as long as you like and I won’t tell Mike. It’ll be our little secret, okay?”

The Girl practically beamed at you and nodded eagerly, before taking off towards her room again. With a chuckle, you got back to your feet to accompany Mike to the door.

“Thanks again.”, Mike mumbled, opening the Door,”I’ll pay you as soon as I get my salary, I promise.”

“There’s no need for that, Mike”, You chuckled patting his shoulder. The Boy looked at You like You were his Lord and Saviour:”How can I repay you?”

“See you tomorrow then.”, you beamed and waved your hand at him, as he made his way towards his car. You looked after him for a minute, before you heard Abby calling out for you.

“You could…yk, Go out with me some time.”,You proposed shyly, looking to the Ground.

But much to your Favour, Mike gave you a smile and a nod:”I’d love to.”

You concluded that it was the right decision to answer Mike’s Call.

Bonus:

After a long and dreadful Night at the Pizza Plex, Mike finally arrived back home. He was ready to just fall into his bed and sleep through the entire day.

And as he stepped closer, he felt his heartbeat slightly pick up. There you were, huddled up on the Couch, but what he didn’t expect was that Abby was laying next to you. Or rather, on top of you. The two of You cuddled up together under the blanket, like a bunch of cats.

But his plans changed, as he stepped into the apartment. He was about to call out for you, when he spotted someone laying on the Couch in the Living Room.

A small smile made its way onto his face and he quickly stepped forward to adjust the blanket on the two of you, before quietly making his way towards his room. Mike decided that it was a good idea to call You up and ask for help.

[stormcloudrising]

Rhaenyra Targaryen, Is she a Monster Hiding in Plain Sight?

So, I just posted a thread on the ex bird App breaking down why I think Rhaenyra is quite possibly a monster hiding in plain sight, and how it’s been on the screen since season one. The set-up is all there and people are just sleeping on it like they did with Dany, and when Rhaenyra truly does and in-your-face dark deed that can’t be ignored, they will say, “ but there was no set-up.”

I’m just going to post the paragraphs of the thread here and so apologies for any typos as I’m not interested in going back to correct…LOL. And of course, because of Tumblr rules, I must label it anti-Targaryen to protect sensibilities, when it’s not. It’s just an analysis of what’s on the screen. In case you’re interested, here is what I posted.

Great scene between Rhaenyra and Daemon on Sunday’s episode of #HOTD. Well acted by Emma & Matt, and extremely well written, which convinced me that the episode was mis-titled. Instead of Rhaenyra the Cruel, it should have been Rhaenyra, the Monster Hiding in Plain Sight.

Yes. You read that correctly. Rhaenyra will turn out to be the monster hiding in plain sight & the proof has been in the dialogue & on screen since season 1. Before she does something truly dark, and people start saying it came out of left field, let me show you the video tape.

But let me set it up for you. What do I mean she’s a monster hiding in plain sight? Well, during her argument with Daemon, for the second time, she told him that she believes he’s capable of monstrous acts, including the killing of a baby.

She says this when this is exactly the reason she married Daemon. She married him to protect her path to the throne and for him to commit the monstrous acts when necessary on her behalf—like murdering her husband, the “father” of her children, and the brother of Daemon’s wife.

…is off mourning the loss of his sister & not there in the moment to put up the front, & this is the last straw for Rhaenyra. For her, Laenor is now useless, but hey, Daemon is back & he’s known for committing dark deeds & so how difficult can it be to get him to kill her hubby.

She monstrously asks Daemon to do this on the day he returns home to bury his wife—right after Laena’s funeral no less. She wants him to kill Laenor, who has been there for her all these years, & who gave her children a happy childhood, as we see from Jace’s memories of him.

Laenor is off mourning the loss of his sister & not there when she needs him to put up a front, & this is the last straw for Rhaenyra. He is now useless, but hey, Daemon is back & he’s known for committing dark deeds & so how difficult can it be to get him to kill her hubby.

And before you say Rhaenyra would never have killed Laenor, let me show you the evidence on screen…starting with this conversation where she says for the first time that she believes Daemon is capable of monstrous acts. Right before she works her magic and seduces him.

Let’s now look at the on screen evidence in order to support my thesis. First time she tells him that she believes he can commit monstrous and depraved acts…starts at 1:35. Listen to the dialogue. youtu.be/Cs1CJTPMPn8?si

She soon proves Daemon’s earlier point that each person is capable of depravity when she asks him to marry her. He says, the only way it can happen is if Laenor is dead, and she responds, “I KNOW,” indicating that she had already considered the idea and was ok with it.

Watch this next clip and how Matt plays the scene holding his hand to his chest. Daemon recognizes her request as a depraved act proving his earlier point, but she doesn’t even see it. youtu.be/4gTGi3VE4pU?si

That clip really should be labeled, “Rhaenyra ask Daemon to kill Laenor” rather than to marry her. Let’s now look at the final clip that covers the actual events surrounding the “murder” of Laenor.

Pay particular attention to Daemon and Rhaenyra’s voice overs. First let me say that only tyrants or soon to be tyrants say I’m not or won’t be a tyrant. If you’re not a tyrant or don’t have those tendencies, there is no need for that declarative statement.

They don’t show the actual scene of Daemon and Rhaenyra planning Laenor’s death, but they give us the voice overs. And while we don’t get the full conversation, we do get enough of it that in juxtaposition with the scenes of Laenor, allows us to fill in the obvious blanks.

Note Rhaenyra saying “I do love Laenor,” and the intonation in her voice as if she’s being convinced of something. We know as shown in the previous clip that she was quite fine with killing Laenor. In fact, it was her plan.

And so, that can’t be what Daemon is trying to convince her of when he says, “then grant him this kindness. Set him free.” The scenes on the screen of Laenor and Qarl fighting would seem to suggest that Daemon was referring to the freedom of death.

However, Rhaenyra’s words about love and the ending scene of Laenor and Qarl escaping shows it wasn’t death that Daemon was talking about. He was trying to convince Rhaenyra to let Laenor go free. Here is the clip. youtu.be/UevRWZAxBiA?si

If Rhaenyra’s plan was always to let Laenor escape to Essos, there would be no reason for Daemon to ask her to grant him the kindness of freedom. The lightness inside of Daemon was ascendant on the day Rhaenyra asked him to kill Laenor.

Of course, the darkness quickly rebalanced the scale as he turned around and killed an innocent man to play the role of Laenor’s dead body. Why did Daemon grant Laenor the kindness of his life and freedom. With Daemon, you never know.

Maybe it was because Laenor was his wife’s twin and his daughters’ uncle. Maybe he didn’t want Rhaenyra to be the depraved monster he mentioned in his words to her. All signs point to Rhaenyra being a tyrant.

While she’s currently hiding it,  Tyrants always show their true colors, and it will happen here too. And people will say, but it came out of left field. There were no clues that Rhaenyra had this darkness in her, when it’s always been there on the screen from the beginning.

So yeah, Rhaenyra is not the good guy thinking about the good of the realm. Unlike Jaime who betrayed his vows to protect the realm, Rhaenyra betrayed Laenor for the simple quest of power. She wants the throne & Alicent sits in Kings Landing with her sons keeping her from it.

Daemon does not hide who he is. Rhaenyra on the other hand knowingly does, and that’s the worse type of person you would want to rule. 

Her comment to Daemon that she believes he can commit monstrous acts was the show saying…”hey remember when she said that the first time and what she was planning”. Remember things are not always as it seems, and so, don’t be surprised.

[lolathestoryteller]

mission (im)possible (April 30th prompt; Rational) @jilymicrofics

Lily shares a quick look with James, both of them now seated at the kitchen table in Grimmauld Place, facing their son.

Their almost seventeen years old son.

“So…what’s up Snitch?” James asks, and as always, he seems perfectly able to keep his grin on, although Lily knows they both feel uneasy.

In fact, they’d both hardly been able to think of anything other than this moment for the entire day, ever since Harry’s asked them about a chat after dinner.

Now, he looks just as worried as them. Though, Lily would think that that’s hardly possible.

“I’ve got a plan.” he replies his Dad, clasping his hands together on the table. “And…you probably won’t like it.”

Lily purses her lips. She is already sure she won’t like it. “A plan?” she asks, raising her brow. “What for?”

It’s unnecessary really, to ask that, for it could only ever be one thing, yet Lily still hopes it wouldn’t be that.

Anything but that.

James stirs next to her, leaning onto his elbows. “You’re not dropping out, kid, are you?” he jokes, chuckling amusedly—

Until they both see the sinister look on Harry’s face.

James falls quiet at once, glancing over at her before he looks back at their son. “You’re not—“

“I am.” Harry‘s decisive voice cuts James off. “I’m sorry, but I have to.”

Lily can only stare back at him — at the boy, their boy, with way too many burdens, all unjustly placed upon his young shoulders. It’s painfully overwhelming, because she still remembers, like it was yesterday, how he used to be so much smaller. How he’d held onto her hand whilst going out, or asked for bedtime stories and good night cuddles.

Lily’s heart clenches. How fast did the years pass? Spiting any rational thought, she can’t help but wish she could have frozen time, just for a little while.

Because now, she can’t help but mourn for the carefree little boy Harry had been. How could she not? When her son looks so utterly worn and tired these days.

“You don’t have to,” James protests, and Lily can hear the frustration clear in his voice.

She places her hand upon his arm to calm him, whilst her eyes bore intently into Harry‘s. “Why do you think that?” she asks him calmly.

Harry looks away, towards the small kitchen window. “I…can’t tell you.”

James sighs, before he takes Harry‘s hand into his over the table. “Yes, you can. Common Snitch, you know we want to help.” he tries. “Tell us.”

Lily nods her head eagerly. “Your Dad’s right, love.” she adds, taking his other hand. “You can tell us.”

For a moment, when their son‘s green eyes flicker up to look at her and James, he seems so close to tell them — tell them everything that’s been worrying him so much. But it’s too fleeting a moment for Lily to even be sure she hadn’t just imagined it.

“I can’t.” he insists instead, pulling his hands away. “I’m sorry, I really am.”

Lily can see the truly apologetic look in his eyes, though that doesn’t help to ease her worries.

“I promised Dumbledore I wouldn’t.”

Dumbledore?

Lily’s eyes flutter closed for just a second, as she silently curses the man that, although he’d always been a good friend, had more than once now disappointed her.

Even in death, his mysterious plans still seem to be continued, with Harry as their main act — which goes against everything she and James have wanted for their boy.

James’s hand clutches into a fist on the table. “What?” he asks angrily. “Why would he want you to promise him that?”

He’s angry. Lily can tell that he’s so very short of raising his voice. She can understand him for it too, for she feels just as frustrated.

Harry on the other hand remains almost stoically calm. “Because he knew it wouldn’t help if I did,” he explains. “You can’t help me this time.”

And just like that, Lily’s resolve crumbles.

“Don’t say that.” she argues fiercely, her unnaturally pitched tone a clear reflection of her own despair.

“Mum, it’s fine—“ Harry sighs tiredly, as though he’d known this would happen. As though no matter what Lily says, he’d already made up his mind.

“It’s far from fine!” she retorts anyways, fighting best she can the sudden feeling of tears in her eyes. “I don’t care what Albus told you. We can help, and we will.”

Harry opens his mouth to reply, but Lily’s too deeply upset to let him. “You can’t just decide to do this on your own, Harry. I won’t let you. We’re in this together, we’ve always been—“

“We’ve never been in it together!” Harry interrupts, jumping to his feet.

Lily can’t help but flinch, her words dying on her tongue as she stares at him, utterly shocked by his uncharacteristic outburst. She can’t recall him ever reacting like this in her presence before.

“Harry,” James warns. “Don’t talk to your Mum like that.”

But Harry only shoots him a quick look, ignoring his warning, before his blazing eyes lock with her’s once more. “You can’t help me.” he insists. “And you should stop trying to convince yourselves otherwise.”

His words rip Lily’s heart into shreds. Not only because he’d said it with such unwavering conviction, but because deep down, Lily knows he’s right.

It hurts worse than any torture curse ever could.

“Harry!” James exclaims loudly, standing up as well.

“What?” he bites back, but where any other person might see anger, Lily now sees her son‘s very best attempt to steel himself.

It’s better they’d be angry with him, rather than heartbroken, before he’d leave. Suddenly, it all makes sense.

Slowly, she stands up, and without another word, walks around the table until she’s just an arm’s length away from her son. “You don’t have to go.” she says quietly, tears once again filling her eyes. “Please, sweetheart.”

Harry turns away from James to look at her with sad, but unwavering eyes. “Mum—“

“No, please,” Lily repeats quickly, taking hold of his arms. “We’ll figure it out. I promise. You can’t— Dumbledore could be wrong.” she implies, biting her lower lip. “I can’t let you go.”

It’s finally out. Lily can’t let go, not when there’s a chance that she’d never—

“I can’t let you risk your life.” she says fiercely, as she pulls him closer to her, until their foreheads almost touch.

“Like you did?” Harry asks knowingly.

Lily curses her son‘s wit in that moment. “It’s different,” she argues, although she knows that really, it isn’t different at all. “I wanted to protect you—“

“I know.” Harry smiles slightly. “And now, I can finally return the favour.”

[aotearoa20]

correspondence and revelations shortly after Dagor Bragollach for @silmarillionepistolary

To, Caranthir Morifinwë Fëanorian Lord of the East

Dear cousin, it is with great sorrow which I greet you. The attacks of the Enemy took us all by surprise and I mourn the blow the loss of Thargelion will surely have on us all. Though I had never the chance to visit I had heard many great things of the eastern mountains, they were fair to behold, I am told, and I know that you loved it there. Still it gladdens me to hear that you and yours escaped for the most part unscathed. Know whatever aid and support we can spare is already on its way to you as you receive this letter.

I'm sure you know already that Celegorm and Curufin have taken up refuge among my people. You should know you they are well and whole. They, along with I, have sent letters detailing their arrival and stay. I have also sent some papers detailing preliminary adjustments to traderoutes and logistics for delivering aid among our people and allies. I am sure you have more than enough plans of your own and as always i defer to you judgement on such matters.

But all this aside I had another matter I wished to inform you of concerning one of the people of Haleth in Brethil. I have kept it to myself for some time but if anything has come from these last days is that none of us knows when doom will rear its head.

The Lady Haleth herself I met only a few times, when negotiating the terms of her people’s dwelling, and found her to be a woman of brusque and bright countenance. Indeed, when I learnt of her dealings with you I thought that the pair of you must have gotten on like a house on fire, else hated each other entirely. But I digress.

It was upon one of those meetings when I saw a child, I reckoned at the time, perhaps five by the count of Men often about her dwelling. No husband she ever spoke of nor did I ask. The child had her likeness and hearing of the tradgey that claimed the rest of her family, I thought perhaps his father had perished with her kin.

In truth, I thought little of it at all until some years ago, on a visit to the city of Menegroth, when I found a youth milling about the edges of the Girdle. It must have been two hundred years since I’d last seen him, the Haladin had since had two chieftains but the boy looked no older than twenty. He named himself a changeling in his own tongue and told me his father was one of the Eldar.

Erestor he called himself in Sindarin for though he’d lived among his people, at on the request of his mother had not taken her title. Instead he stayed as a counseler for his cousin and later his children and grandchildren. (The translation is a bit off I deem but he having learned more seems loath to correct it and resistant to advice) Either way, wishing to learn more of his father’s people and had come to Doriath to see if he may by his blood be permitted. I spoke with him a while and finding him genuine in his desire, brought him with me and vouched for him before Elu Thingol, the King.

Since then he visits the city every few summers and then returns to his people before the snows set in. He has had little trouble of it, for his mother’s features hide much of his fathers heritage and he is wont to pass through, drawing as little attention to himself as he can. But I found him curious and upon further investigation and despite his protests to the contrary, I am certain his father is Noldorin. In fact, on those rare occasions he does smiles without restrain cousin - were it not for his quiet temperament I know he did not inherit from his mother - I would have wondered if he was your own.

At any rate, considering the time and circumstances I first found him, it's likely it is that his father is among your people. I can think of any number of reasons such a thing would have been hidden from offical records but I truly doubt it could have happened without your knowledge. To the point, I thought, especially in the chaos of these days, you might pass on some news of the boy’s well being. I have had news from Brethil, written in the the his hand, they are well, if overwhelmed with refugees from Dor Lomin. But he is safe. Perhaps that might comfort his kin in Amon Ereb. And perhaps you could tell him that his child is a scholar in training. That he is happy, as much as any of us can be, and untouched by doom or darkness. May he remain so.

I hope I have not overstepped in my assumptions. Always I have hesitated in speaking on this subject. I just have with the loss of don't want to leave anything unsaid that ought to be.

That is all.

As I detailed before, i have sent ahead letters pertaining to more practical means. I have no doubt in your prompt reply. I wish you well, cousin. May Tilion watch your steps before the Dawn breaks.

Finrod Felagund King of Nargothrond

[lostonehero]

Tma x mechs

Jonny archivist baby

"Is there a reason you're in my office, Sasha?" Jonny looked up from the statement on his desk.

"I've figured it out." Sasha smirks.

Jonny raised a brow. "Figured out what?"

"Why you suddenly became a dick after the promotion." Sasha hums. "You've fallen hard for Tim and Martin and me, but I'm aromantic, so sorry about that, bud. You're trying to cover your tracks by being a dick and pretending you hate everyone."

Jonny scoffs. "Of course not. I'm perfectly being just here as me and.... have you noticed Martin has a spider collection above his desk?" Jonny sighs. It's only been a few decades. How has he gotten so shit at lying?

Sasha raised a brow. "Jon, come off it." She crosses her arms as Jon sighs. "I'm sure if you talked to them they would be on board."

You're mortal all of you. Is what Jonny wanted to shout, but he couldn't. Even with the metal heart, he was falling hard and fast, weird horror be damned. Maybe he could use the weird horrors to keep them around long. He groans. "You have to be included aromantic or not. You're going to be a part of it, even if it's just sex."

"I'm sure I could arrange something." Sasha finishes her text, and there's a shout from Tim outside Jon's office.

"BLOODY KNEW IT." Tim shouts.

Jonny covers his face. He was screwed.

......

It's only been three weeks since they tried out the dating thing. He can only recall one other time truly where he was in love, and that was with Tim, not Stoker, but Gunpowder. It didn't end well. They remained friends, but it hurt. Tim blamed him for his eyes, but Carmillia was already dead to their knowledge, and they didn't mean to find him. They tried again a few times, but it was never the same, and everything it just hurt him more. DTTM was the final straw that broke the camels back. He's happier now than he has been for a long time. His crew probably doesn't even care that he's gone.

"Jon?" Martin's soft voice broke him away from the self hatred. "Jon, are you ok?"

Tim hugged Jonny's arm. "What ya thinking about, boss man?"

"We are literally in bed together. Don't call me that." Jonny sighs. "My ex, his name was also Tim. We became friends after but it was never the same yaknow. We were a part of this group like a family. I had a really bad falling out with them. That's how I ended up here." He sighs. "I'm not good at being open."

Martin sighs and moves Jon to his chest. "You feel like with us, you're betraying what you once had."

Tim nods. "Well, I'll be a better Tim." He hums softly. "You still have your memories even if they aren't great."

Jonny tries to hide his face in Martin's chest. "Enough! You're making me soft."

"That's the only thing soft about you. You're way too thin." Tim chuckles.

Jonny whines as Martin traps him in a soft hug. "Stop. I am a vicious man."

Tim smiles, joining the hug. "Mmh, yes, you're so scary."

"Yes, you make the statements come alive. Even if toy think they're fake." Martin smiles.

Jonny was absolutely fucked. He had to figure out how to keep them alive, and he'll be damned if Carmillia got involved. That bitch better stay the fuck away from here. She better be dead.

.......

It took a year for everything to go to shit. A fucking year. Jonny sat in the empty archives. It started when Sasha got bit by a moth of all things. He didn't think moths had mouths. Then she got sick. Elias was being a dick about it, and soon she was coughing up worms and talking about music she could only hear. She disappeared after that, claiming she was sick and he hadn't heard anything.

Next was Tim. He started to get sick and pale, claimed the light hurt. He wore long sleeves and sunglasses inside, but he didn't change mentally he just... physically, he was changing, and he tried to help, but one day, they were walking, and a cars shadow passed by, and he vanished. He mourned with Martin.

Last was Martin he helped get to the bottom of things. These fear gods were changing his loves, but they were supposed to have a choice. He rubbed his burned hand. Martin went to hill top road and didn't come back.

He should have known better. He can't just play pretend like he was some mortal. He wasn't even human. He could feel something wet drip down his cheeks. He was crying so much lately he was fucking pathetic.

A soft knock on the door made Jonny rub his face and sit up. "What is it?"

"Sup boss man." It was Tim he had sharper teeth, and his eyes were pitch black, but it was him.

"T-Tim?" Jonny shot up out of his seat.

"Yeah, it's me." Tim rubs his arm. "I can promise you I didn't want this. I've become some sort of monster, and you deserve to -" he gasps as Jonny knocks him to the floor in a hug.

"Fuck that, monster or not I still love you." Jonny freezes he never spoke those words since....

Tim pulls Jonny into a kiss. "Are you sure?"

Jonny nods. "You have to help me find Martin and Sasha now. Im a monster, too, I think. I got this weird knowing thing. Elias won't tell me anything, but I know he knows more than he lets on. We I know about the fears, and you've become an avatar. So what? I don't care."

"Jon, I could kill you." Tim still wraps his arms around Jonny."

"And?" Jonny scoffs. "A lot can kill me. it doesn't mean it will stick."

"What?" Tim blinks.

"I'll explain later." Jonny gets up, grabbing Tim's hand. "We have to find Martin."

"Jo-Jon, wait." Tim can't really stop as he's pulled along.

It wasn't hard to find Sasha next her apartment complex was condemned due to infestation. It also took no effort to break into.

"Tell me again why you know how to pick locks?" Tim sighs.

"Immortal space pirate, Tim please keep up." Jonny smirks as the door opens.

"Just because you survived being dragged through the dark doesn't mean I believe you." Tim pinched his brow as worms splattered Jonny, and soon enough, he exploded in worms, leaving a metal heart on the floor and a half eaten corpse. "Jesus fucking christ."

"Don't you hear.... oh hi Tim." Sasha waves as she makes her way across the room. "Seems you've been busy following a different song."

"I didn't have a choice in the manner." Tim frowns, staring down at Jon. He pauses, and his eyes widen, and he jumps back.

Jonny suddenly sits up as his skin knits back together. He now has ears that flare out like a cow and horns. His teeth are sharp he has claws and a long tail. "Ok, the first time I died like that."

Sasha blinks, and the swarm pulls away from Jon. "I'm sorry my brood ate you, and you exploded. Not that I'm mad, but how?"

"Immortal space pirate." Tim and Jonny say at the same time.

Jonny brushes himself off. "Aw shit my disguise failed. Anyway, do you know where Martin is? I'm pretty sure you guys aren't fired, and I'm in love, and I'm not giving up just because you're weird horror creatures. I've fucked weirder."

"I have so many questions." Sasha pursed her lips. "Let me get dressed, and I'll help you look."

"I also have questions." Tim pauses for a moment. "I love you too."

.......

A woman answered the door at hill top road. "Archivist."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, where's Martin?" Jonny crossed his arms.

"Oh, dear archivist mother has plans for him."

"Ew." Jonny scoffs pushing past the woman. "Martin! I don't care what weird creature you've become. I'm not human, so it will be fine."

A confused response from Martin. "I.... what?"

"Martin!" Jonny runs towards the voice, getting caught in a web. "Fuck."

"Hello Annabelle." Sasha waves at the door she looks almost normal minus the moths fluttering around her.

"Mother doesn't want him dead." Annabelle pauses. "What is he hoping to accomplish?"

"True love." Tim dramatically swoons under his umbrella.

"We also warned him not to just run into here but as you can see." Sasha vaguely motions.

"FUCK!" Martin shouts. "WHAT THE FUCK JON?"

"What you act as if this is the first time I've knawed off a limb to get out of something. See, look, it's already growing back." Jonny motions to his newly reformed arm. "Also spider centaur is pretty hot."

Martin pulls Jonny up and kisses him roughly. "You are the weirdest man I've ever met."

"Technically, not a human man." Jonny snickers.

......

Elias was about to pull his hair out. He had no idea how his new archivist had gotten his assistants back after they turned into avatars. It's actually impressive, but since one of them is now the web, he can no longer spy on his archivist. The hats were new, but he couldn't understand why Jon insisted that it's his new thing. It's the middle of summer. He does not need to wear winter hats.

.......

Nastya had returned to the Aurora too much fanfare, and it only took a day for her to ask where Jonny was. She stared at Tim, who crossed his arms. "So?"

Tim sighs. "After we realized we're yaknow truly immortal. He took it the worst and didn't accept it like the rest of us, and he left. Stole a ship and a bunch of shit, but he's been gone for 100 years. Lyf took his position as lead singer, but we have been looking for him."

"We don't have a way to track him." Brian adds. His metal body has been changing to reflect how he looked before the mechanisms. He was very quiet about it, but it was extremely noticeable. His top hat covered his fox like ears. "We all want him back. We found you by accident looking for him."

Nastya frowns. "He's gone?"

Tim frowns and looks away. "He didn't even take the metal box he keeps under his bed."

"Bullshit." Nastya touches the wall. "Aurora, track the ship Jonny stole. I'm getting my brother back. You're going to apologize." She points to Tim. "He's our captain."

Tim nods. "I fucked up."

.....

"Man, you human holidays are fun." Jonny's tail flicked happily behind him. The Magnus Institute was throwing a massive festival for Halloween. Elias was taking statements he insisted on that. "Didn't have anything like this on my astroid."

Martin followed behind with normal legs but 8 eyes and three pairs of arms. "Well , we will remedy that."

Tim seems to have hair that floated like rising darkness. His eyes were pitch black, and his mouth was full of sharp teeth. He was wearing a shirt. Jonny made him say the better Tim. "Martin, I think he likes it for the amount of sweets he's able to get."

Jonny scoffs. "I like the costumes."

"You're not even dressed up." Sasha raised a brow. "You said that was your normal outfit in space."

"Well, yeah, but it's not normal here, and humans don't have ears teeth or a tail like mine." Jonny huffs.

"Point taken." Martin chuckles. "Oh, looks like Elias got a band to play for the festival."

"It's not a band it's an open mic. A feast of stage fright." Jonny hums. "I'll perform something."

"Spoiling us?" Tim purrs.

"Yes, always." Jonny gasps as Martin picks him up.

"You're a hopeless romantic for someone who has lived as long as you and claims to be just as bitter." Martin smiles.

"Only for you guys." Jonny kisses the right side of Martin's mandible. "We could just skip this and have fun in the bedroom."

"Horndog." Tim chuckles. "How about after we hear you sing song bird?"

"Tim's right." Martin's gaze darkens. "You have to both earn it."

Jonny shudders. "Yes, sir."

Tim nods eagerly.

.......

"Impressive costumes." A cheery soft voice came from a tall, muscular sailor captain.

Lyf blinks. "Um, hello."

"Costume?" TS tilts their head.

"I didn't think Nikola would change for Halloween." A man wrapped around the sailors arm.

"Um, right...." Lyf sighs. "Um, could you help us? We're looking for a man going by Jonathan Sims." He hopes Nastya was right in the fake name Jonny chose.

"You're looking for my archivist?" The man's eyes flash green.

Lyf's eyes flashed rainbow. "I'm sorry. Did you say archivist?"

"Correct. I'm Elias Bouchard. This is a nice Halloween festival for my insistute. Jon is with his partners traversing the festive scene." He gives a sinister smile. "I highly suggest the activities while you look."

"That Sounds Like Jolly Good Fun." TS drags Lyf into the festival grounds.

"W-wait, TS!" Lyf groans he had more questions to ask.

......

Inspector: At the Halloween festival with TS. It's being thrown by the Magnus Institute. TS has prevented me from asking more questions to the head of said institute. However, Jonny might be the head archivist.

Archivist: There is a 100% that's bullshit.

Fire Fire: that's a good joke kid

GP: there's a open mic here to perform.

TS: I Made A New Friend.

There's a picture of TS next to a mannequin who seemed nervous in clown makeup. There appears to be human skin stretched tightly around the plastic body.

TS: This Is Nikola.

Inspector: Tim why the fuck didn't you warn us about earth?

GP: What the fuck are you talking about

GP: TS what the fuck.

Drumbot: I am with Nastya. We have found a meat themed activity. I agree with Lyf. This doesn't seem very human. However my phone will be taken for this so I will talk later.

GP: meat?

GP: Brian?

Doctor: I am going to the mushroom tent! Lyf invitation open to join. I think they will enjoy the fact I am poisonous.

Inspector: Marius we still haven't figured out what you are.

Science officer: Not for a lack of trying. Anyway, I'm going to find that meat tent.

Fire Fire: there's a woman named Jude Perry and she's all about Fire I'm going to find her.

Nastya: They did not let me in with Brian. However, they did give me some sort of meat on a stick. Jonny would love this.

GP: ill play my song. If he's here, he'll come to watch right?

Nastya: I will join you.

.......

Brian stumbled out of the tent. His throat hurt from screaming. He stopped in his tracks and when he looked down at his hands and saw flesh. He blinks and continues to stare. He could feel more so than he did before. He could hear the heart in his chest. He can feel his fox ears twitch under his hat. He could feel his tail. When did he get a tail? He always had one before...

A man bumped into him. "Oh shit sorry man." The man paused, tilting his head. "You ok?"

Brian stared at the man, and it was Jonny. He had glasses on and his normal outfit. "I uh...." He could feel everything, and he was getting overwhelmed. "I think... I." He felt Jonny grab his arm.

"Come on, you look like you're about to pass out." Jonny says softly, leading him to a table where three other people are already sitting down. "Hey, I know promised snacks, but we'll he looks like he's about to panic." He sits the man down who stares down at his hands.

Brian blinks as a bottle of water is put in his hands. He can't eat or drink. Why was this... he unscrewed the cap and drained the contents. Something wet dripped down his cheeks. A soft warm had patted his back, and Jonny sat to his left.

"Hey, are you ok?" A soft voice came from Brian's right. A man with eight eyes and a spider mandible gives a soft smile. He hands over half of a sandwich. "I know the tents can be much for anyone."

"Because avatars run them." The man with shadow like hair sighs. He hands Brian a few tissues. "It's impossible to stop others from being dragged inside."

Brian nibbled on the sandwich. It's been millions of years since he ate anything since he could taste. He couldn't even feel the metal in him, but he knew it was still there. It was changed and he couldn't understand, but this was the best meal he had ever had.

"So what's your costume? It seems very realistic." Jonny smiles.

Brian swallows and wipes his face. It was still so overwhelming, but he could handle it. He pulls off his hat to reveal two fluffy fox ears.

"Oh, let me guess! A foxy magician!" The woman chuckles as moths flutter around her.

"No, he's obviously an animal tamer turned animal." The man nudged her and they both giggle.

"He could just be a furry." Jonny wiggles his brows and the table erupts into laughter.

Brian can't help but laugh along.

"Wait, I have one he's a musician." The spider man smiles.

Brian giggles and nods. "Correct!"

"I'm an ex musician." Jonny smirks.

"No, you're not. You take every chance to perform." The man throws a crumple piece of paper at him.

"Ok, fine, I'm a part-time musician and full-time archivist." Jonny smiles. "Ah, right, let me introduce everyone. The man in the better Tim shirt is Tim, the lovely lady with the various moths is Sasha, and the spider guy is Martin. I'm Jon, the archivist of this insistute, currently dating the two handsome gentlemen, and fucking Sasha because she's happily aromantic."

Sasha salutes.

Martin waves, and Brian notices he has three pairs of arms.

Tim throws finger guns. "You're free to join us. Jon's got a sweet tooth, and double boss man got some American sweets for a few booths."

Jonny nods and gets up. "He's an honorary assistant for the day then."

"You probably shouldn't say that, Elias might actually hire him." Martin chuckles.

"To be fair, he hired you." Sasha winks getting up.

Martin chuckles, holding one hand out to Brian. "Come on, we'll help you navigate this place."

Brian realizes Jonny doesn't recognize him. Which makes sense if he wasn't metal anymore. He also left before his body started to change to reflect what he looked like before mechanisms. He sighs and nods. Might as well see what has happened to Jonny.

"I'll lead the way!" Jonny hops up.

"Eye eye boss man." Tim chuckles.

Jonny rolls his eyes. "We are literally together. Don't call me that."

"Fine, sorry, cowboy." Tim smirks as Jonny blushes.

"... go back to boss man." Jonny says with a deep blush on his features.

.......

Drumbot has changed his name to Brian

Brian sent a photo

It's a picture of Jonny between two men looking happy. Both men are kissing either cheek, and he has a sign that says little cowboy and his partners.

Brian: Jonny doesn't recognize me, but I also don't recognize me.

GP: I'm sorry, but Jonny got hitched!

Nastya: He's wearing wedding bands? Isn't that a human custom?

GP: Brian, what switch are you on

Brian: None

Archivist: impossible

Brian sends another picture

It seems to be a selfie. He has grayish goldish skin, soft, long hair, and big fox ears. He doesn't appear to be made of metal anymore.

Brian: The meat tent was actually a guise for a Flesh god.

GP: this literally can't be earth

Doctor: I think I accidently poisoned the nice mushroom man.

Lyf: I need to bleach my eyes.

Fire Fire: I think I believe Brian becoming flesh again over Jonny getting hitched

Archivist: this is all highly unlikely scenarios

Science officer: I am grabbing you Brian.

TS: My New Friend Stole My Arm Then Screamed When It Reattached

Lyf: I'll get TS from causing a panic.

Doctor: Wait let me come with you my love.

Lyf: not until you bathe in a bath of bleach

Doctor: only for you.

GP: I'm going to rip my eyes out.

........

"Brian!" A woman swoops down mechanical wings spread out as she grabs Brian's shoulder. "It even feels like flesh."

"Ah." Martin pauses. "So, is this a former crew member?"

"Yup." Jonny hums and sips on his bright orange drink.

"So how many are there, like 9?" Tim raised a brow.

"Well, Nastya left, but Lyf joined, and Aurora can be considered a mech as well." Jonny shrugs.

"Isn't Brian supposed to be metal?" Sasha nudges Jonny.

"You know that explains what he looks so familair and yeah he is supposed to be metal." Jonny shrugs again, watching Raphaella poke and prode Brian.

"No wonder why he had a panic attack." Tim hums. "I probably would too if I went from metal to flesh."

"Jonny...?" A Russian accent caught Jonny's attention.

"Nastya?" Jonny smiles. "It's been a while and it's nice to see you."

"What happened to you?" Nastya stops right in front of Jonny.

"Therapy mostly, got hitched, and git a degree, became archivist, and just enjoying life with weird horror gods. What's up with you? It's pretty fucked up that you broke up with Aurora because she changed physically but not mentally."

Nastya blinks and opens her mouth, but Jonny cuts her off.

"Yaknow, I spent decades helping her through the breakup and losing my sister." Jonny sips his drink obnoxiously. "Eh, I'm mostly over it, Marius was right. Therapy does help. Anyway, congrats on rejoining the mechs or whatever you're doing."

Raphealla and Brian have both stopped and stared at Jonny.

Brian takes a breath. "I think my ears are malfunctioning."

"No, I heard that too." Raphaella blinks.

Nastya stared stunned at Jonny.

"Have a fun time and stay away from the tents, you'll get pretty fucked up in you go into them, and not in the fun way." Jonny gets scooped up by Martin.

"I think that was very emotionally grown of you." Martin smiles.

"Does this mean the other Tim is here? Oh fuck yeah I'm going to fuck with him." Tim runs off and jumps into a shadow.

"Follow him!" Jonny climbs to Martin's shoulders. "This is going to fucking confuse Elias to no end."

Martin chuckles. "With pleasure."

[kazz-brekker]

hotd episode 7 thoughts

let me tell you, i have been anticipating the funeral drama in this episode for WEEKS and it absolutely did not let me down.

as always i am happy that we got to see some of the dragons but i would have loved even more. where is syrax! i want to see her all grown up!

i’m glad we got the velaryons mourning laena, but it really did make me wish that we’d gotten to see more of her alive. laenor is clearly grieving his sister, but i honestly don’t think they ever had any significant scenes together.

corlys and rhaenys with their grandchildren was really sweet, i especially loved seeing rhaenys comfort rhaena and baela at the funeral.

helaena targaryen continues to be a weird little girl and i support her!

i love the idea of making aemond care more about helaena than aegon does, it’s a good characterization bit and also incredibly evil (cannot wait to see Certain Events that happen as a direct result of aemond’s actions utterly ruin their relationship).

why was this episode so dark. i could see everything but it was really gray :(

however i did like the part where everyone was standing around awkwardly after the funeral, the interpersonal drama was delicious.

matt smith and emma d’aracy have great chemistry, all the staring they did at the funeral made me SO impatient for them to actually interact, and their conversation on the beach was fantastic. 

loved getting to see them confront all their thoughts and feelings about each other that have built up over ten years. i’ve always found their relationship compelling to watch even though it’s obviously. you know. incestuous. it’s just fun to watch! and i feel less “step away from the underage girl” now that rhaenyra is older.

i know harwin strong is dead and never coming back but i’m still glad that we got to see jace mourning him and rhaenyra talking about their relationship.

a brothel …. a shack on the beach … daemon i am literally begging you to bring rhaenyra somewhere actually nice on your next date.

the scene of aemond claiming vhagar was both funny and awesome, the visual of this tiny little kid riding a huge old dragon and screaming his head off was hilarious but the moonlight dragon ride was very cool.

truly family solidarity as exemplified by the targaryen-velaryon kids is when your cousin that you just met for the first time that day wakes you up in the middle of the night to tell you your uncle stole her dead mom’s dragon so you go beat him up together!

i like the added detail that rhaena was planning to claim vhagar, it adds even more betrayal to aemond taking her instead.

is house of the dragon actually an extended psa about the dangers of giving young children knives? maybe so!

mom rhaenyra looking after her kids and making sure they’re okay is very important to me :)

honestly, i felt pretty bad for aemond in the big confrontation scene, he was kind of a jerk to the other kids but it can’t be fun to get yelled at by your dad when you’ve just lost an eye.

i absolutely LOVED the tension in that scene and the way that it built and built until alicent just went for it and tried to stab rhaenyra. characters going completely feral and unhinged in the BEST and alicent dropping her mask of cordiality and screaming at rhaenyra was so, so good.

viserys your parental favoritism is reeeally showing…

the scene between rhaenyra and laenor was wonderful, i’m so glad the show made it clear that even though they have their differences and have been basically forced into a marriage together they still care about each other and their kids a lot.

loved that larys was like “hey alicent want me to stab a kid’s eye out for you? :)” and alicent was like “no dude i’ll actually TELL you when i want you to kill someone.” she’s learning!

there were 3 dragons when the boat was sailing away, does that mean helaena has already claimed dreamfyre?

when rhaenyra and daemon started talking about getting married i was SO worried that i was going to see them engage in some not chill behavior together and kill laenor so i’m glad that didn’t happen.

i do have to respect this show for avoiding another bury your gays by having laenor fake his death but. uh. is anyone ever going to tell corlys and rhaenys that their son isn’t dead?

the valyrian wedding between daemon and rhaenyra was really cool but tbh i was kind of laughing at them passionately making out with tongue in front of their kids.

i say this every week but i am VERY excited for next week, looks like we’re in for even more family drama.

[blkkizzat]

Look, I read the Farmhand!toji and ...Kali...I've been thinking...The second Farm hand Toji becomes Farmer! Toji shit gets WILD. Cause he was able to convince his bunny that the 1st pregnancy was an accident- he was just getting caught up in the moment and all. Offers to marry her to keep her parents off her back and six months in her uncle is dead. She barely has a chance to mourn because she's supposed to be in charge and she can't do shit. Toji so generously offers to take over for his pregnant wife and shit gets real weird. Every single excon is taking orders from him like he's king. And at 8 months in Toji finally brings Megumi to the farm. Bunny wants to be mad that he said nothing about having a kid already but how can she be when Megumi is so adorable? He's a mini toji, but with better manners. So she's suddenly a mom to a 5 year old while pregnant with her first bio child. And she can't help but love her new life. She still gets to go into town and get her nails and hair done twice a month. She gets fucked silly almost every night and she swears Megumi smiled at her the other day! It only takes about three months post baby before Megumi is calling her Momma and asking to help with the baby. He adores being big brother. And toji? Toji is just having the time of his life. Though he makes sure not to share his less savory activities with the family. Afterall as soon as the baby is 8 months old, he fully plans to get started creating the next mouth to feed. Can't have bunny finding too much out before she's well and truly trapped. -🧠

omg welcome 🧠 pookies!!! you completely ate with this!!!

Yasss hdfkjshdfkj im screaming OF COURSE toji gonna spring Megumi on Bunny as a surprise. But tactics of course, cause theres no way you aren't gonna love him.

Ahhh then ending with the baby trapping is chefs kiss. *mwah* Bunny staying barefoot and pregnant. Too busy with the babies and Megumi to worry about what kind of Shady business her husband is running under your name with your farm. Or why he has to take twice monthly visits into the city, never asking questions as he always brings back his pretty little Bunny, many gifts—roses, jewelry and lots of cute soft girl aesthetic lingerie for him to rip off of you, ensuring sure baby no #3 is on the way.

ahhh imma be thinking about this for a min, you really cooked!!

[pencilofawesomeness]

Hey Pencil, can I ask you what you think of Neuvilette's character after the end of the current Archon quest? Not gonna lie, I was a bit disappointed at how he and everyone else treated Furina, but I was curious about your thoughts on the matter

ohohohohohohohoho anon. Dear sweet anon, you've activated my trap card, otherwise known as the Pencil Essay card, because I have sooooo many thoughts about this.

I will say though, I see Neuvilette in context of the story quests too, especially Furina's, as well as his friendship stories and voicelines. So, er, spoilers for that I suppose, but I can't separate those bits away from his character at this point. Anyway.

I frickin love Neuvilette. As a character, he checks a lot of boxes of traits that I adore, like being hella old, a dragon, somewhat isolated from normalcy, a cinnamon roll that can kill you, and Doing His Best. Now, as an important addendum to this, the fact that he is a dragon is a crucial part of the basis, because that's where a lot of conflict starts. He's separated from his kind, he's not a human yet he is confined to a human form, he remembers that the elemental authority should be his but Celestia took it and the archons have it now. The idea he has that he will forever be isolated, and that there will forever be a certain taste of bad blood between him and the rest of the world is founded. And yet. AND YET. Long ago, Focalors asks for him to help lead Fontaine, and he!!! Agrees!!! Neuvilette's character is rooted in a sense of justice and fairness, and in such, he tries to remain open-minded, and thus, he must witness things for himself. When he is presented a change in perspective, he accepts it.

Honestly I thought the Archon Quest did this rather nicely. He worked with Furina, believing her to be Focalors, for years. While Furina did waaay too good of a job in being as showy as possible, their close proximity meant that some of her true ethics and anxieties did make themselves known to Neuvilette. He knew when Furina was panicking and lying, just not why. Likewise, he has had inklings of when she's been sincere, and also, has a better perspective on how other people perceive her. More on that in a second.

Knowing what we know in hindsight, the Archon Quest is....very harsh. But. I understand why it happened that way. It was very clear that neither the Traveler nor Neuvilette wanted to put Furina on trial, however, neither of them were able to get her to tell the truth in private, and time was of the essence. The threat of a whole populace dying (and!!!! People have already died at this point!!!! Civilians!!!) is kind of a big deal. Something happens, or they all die; full stop. Hence, calling out the big guns. Which, to their credit, was just meant as a display of pressure on an actual deity, not an actual trial with death sentences and the discovery that Furina was a stressed out human all along. Focalors wanted that, however, so all according to plan. But very much not what Neuvilette wanted.

Fast forward. For Neuvilette, I think there is something really special to be said that he cares about both Focalors and Furina. He's only ever seen glimpses of both, but when Focalors aims to die to give Neuvilette back what is rightfully his, he protests! He doesn't want that! If there was a way for Focalors to undo the sea, he would accepted that, despite the janky usurped power thing. She is making a divine sacrifice, one that nobody else will truly know, and he mourns the person that is lost for it. Meanwhile, for all that Furina acted as a mask, and acted as if she was entirely self-sustainable, Neuvilette has shown to be concerned over her as a person. He caves so quickly to meet with Arlecchino when it's clear she's nervous, he asks Traveler to look after her, he tries to ask her when she's clearly being flighty. Even little things, like when he tells Traveler to acknowledge Furina at the beginning of the quest when she's showing off, because he knows she equates attention to success (just not why) and he is throwing her a bone. Yes, he is exasperated just as frequently, but Furina is not making it easy at that stage. Her entire schtick is to purposely keep people at arm's length, to be entertaining before she's likable, so really, I think there's an impressive amount of patience to be had.

The thing I have noticed about Neuvilette is that he is the kind of just that is caring. The law is for the sake of the people, and thus, people have become his focus. He denies this for a long time on account of believing himself to be forever an Other, but it is persistent all the same. He quickly wants to see the melusines treated well and with respect when they are integrated with society. He wants to see justice for those who are hurt. He understands, even, when those who do wrong are not bad people, like with Wriothesley. Neuvilette is, at his core, a kind person; however, he is terrible at expressing care in ways we would expect it. In part because he's just Like That, and in other part because he spent so long unaware of it. Usually, this means that he takes things at face value. If a melusine is being threatened, then there is a problem regarding humans' view of melusines again; if Wriothesley crawls out of hell with a Vision and the new title of Duke, then that means he found something to live for and he will support it; if Furina asks for space, then he tries to give her space. Neuvilette is a sincere person, even if sometimes he misunderstands the emotional complexity afoot.

Back to Furina. When it's revealed that she is a human, and she absolutely crashes, Neuvilette may not be the picture of fatherly comfort, but he is there for her in the way she asks, and even, in the ways she doesn't. She wants to be left alone, because Furina is tired of a facade and at this point she believes that everyone will hate both the fake her and the real her. Neuvillete obliges, and he arranges to pay for her apartment and food and make sure she is taken care of, when Furina is clearly not thinking that far ahead. It's clear that he would visit more often, but he's busy being the effective Archon now, and also, he doesn't think Furina would want that. Face value interpretations and all that. However, Neuvilette still appreciates the good that Furina did accomplish, in the mask and out of it. He doesn't fully understand Furina's hangups, but he respects what she does or doesn't want to do.

Now, Furina absolutely hit that depressive slump of a crash. Homegirl is living off of noodles like a broke college student. She thinks the world hates her and that everyone only put up with her because she was the archon and a superstar. Did she need someone to intervene? Sure. But she pushed Neuvilette and Clorinde away when they awkwardly tried, so Furina has to go through the long story quest way, and come to a bit of her own realization that people genuinely respected her ability to act as a skill and a thing of beauty, not just as a lie.

Furina's story quest offers the very best presentation of how Neuvilette sees her, and how, in his own way, he apologizes but also respects everything she has done and is. When Furina goes on stage, despite her valid reservations, and she gives it her all for that actresses sake, and she gives it her all because its real to her too, and Neuvilette sees this and sees her bravery, her spirit, and all of the hard work that Furina has given Fontaine for 500 years. So he tears a chunk off of his power and he gives it to her, in the form of a Vision.

The Visions are such a wonderful representation, because now that Neuvilette is the sole sovereign, without Celestia's janky throne in the way, he has full power over the granting of Visions. He can stop if he wants, because Visions are made by ripping chunks off of the god in question, but Neuvilette has studied and he has learned that humans are amazing and they earn their ambition, and he wants to give to that. So it's an incredibly purposeful gesture here and it carries the meaning of his care and respect in ways that he cannot articulate.

Neuvilette is kind. He's stiff, dutiful to a fault, has trouble being vulnerable and recognizing it in others, but he is trying, and he is kind. He gives credit where credit is do, and he tries to do the right thing, even when he misses the mark. He accepts when he's wrong, though, like with Focalors and Furina, like with missing how the general populace adores the melusines now, like with Childe when he honestly was baffled by the oratrice's absurd verdict. He's an old dragon and he's slow to catch up, but he makes that effort anyway, which I think is really neat. Neuvilette learns and he implements that. In Lantern Rite, he listened to Furina and finally managed to take a vacation, and he made a dumb little dragon ladle and had fun doing it. And he walked away from that realizing why taking a break was important.

So, er, yeah. I think Neuvilette is neat. Furina too. I really wish we can see them interacting more now that Furina is finally getting it through her skull that people do, in fact, want to be her friend and spend time with her, and I would love to see more on the implications that Traveler has told him of the other archons' exploits and he is forced to admit that they also either have no idea what's going on or that they known of them took the elemental authority on purpose/for the sake of it, but that's either an end-game thing or we'll never get it. Alas. Still I think Fontaine and all of hydro is in good hands with him.

Also he's an awkward dragon yall know I love grandpa dragon men who have parental bones but have no idea how to use them on purpose. I have. a type. of course I'm looking hard at neuvilette he's got the whole package

So uhhhhhh yeah. Yeah. I will. End it there.

[atlafan]

Here’s what else I’m pissed about because now they’re going to have to change Francesca’s story completely.

Okay, so in her book, John dies. She thinks she may be with child. She finds out she isn’t, so Michael goes to India because he feels guilty for John’s death because he loves Francesca and has LOVED Francesca for years.

Two years go by, and Francesca is like okay I’m done mourning, I want to try having kids with someone, and re-enters the marriage mart. She’s a hot commodity because everyone knows she’s not a virgin, so a ton of men go after her. She was also basically running the estate while Michael was gone.

Francesca had fertility trouble. It’s such a real thing that happens, and I connected with her so much for this. Watching your siblings continue to have babies and grow their families while you can’t is one of the hardest things to go through. Being ready to be a mother and not knowing if it’s ever going to happen is a horrible pain I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

So, now they’re just going to skip all that because in order for the Killmartin estate to stay as it is, they’ll need an heir. And since Micaela is a woman, the estate can’t be given to her. So, that means Francesca is either going to be pregnant with a boy, or will have already have had a son by the time John dies. And now what? The girls are going to bond while they raise the baby together? That’s almost insulting. Like oh these girls are going to fall in love because of maternal instincts???

Michael yearned for Frannie for years. Are we going to get that with Micaela? Because the way the show just set it up, it looks like Francesca is going to be the one yearning. And that’s fine, but I hate the storyline of, “oh I’ve been gay this whole time and I guess I never really loved the person I married”. It’s been done, and that’s not fair to John. I understand that in those days it obviously would’ve taken a person a little bit longer to realize they may not be straight, and that’s fine. But I think it’s going to negate all of the love John and Francesca had.

In the book, both she and Michael fought so hard against their feelings because they both felt guilty about John. But eventually, Michael helped Francesca realize she didn’t need to feel guilty. And she finally went to John’s grave and talked with him and she knew deep in her heart that he would want her to be happy. Michael would make her happy. And Michael is right by her side with all of the fertility struggles. He’s even open to adoption! Most men of his status wouldn’t be.

And I feel bad for even complaining because the representation absolutely matters. It’s a huge win for the community. If I hadn’t read the book and been so attached to tue characters, I’d probably be excited about this change. But I’m just disappointed because I wanted so badly to see Michael on screen, truly being pained by how much he loved her. And I wanted to hear his deep voice say all of the wicked things to her that he does in the book.

Ugh!!

[theartofwriting3]

I Remember Everything

Tommy Shelby x Reader

Summary: Y/n ends up at the Garrison after a very hard few months and runs into an old friend *wink wonk*

Warnings: Swearing, smoking, drinking, mentions of child loss, Tommy being Tommy, Y/n being…well Y/n, brief mention of smut (nothing actually happens though), Country music

A/n: I said I would post this like…a week ago but I forgot I had some stuff going on and shit. And then I forgot this existed. Please excuse how shitty and kind of short it is, I kind of suck.

It wasn’t long before the pub started clearing out, Y/n halfway drowned in whiskey and her memories. She didn’t even realize who was pouring her drinks anymore, or that it wasn’t the original bartender that was pouring shot after shot of scotch in her whiskey glass for the last hour.

“Think you’ve had enough, eh?” The bartender said, reaching to grab her glass.

“I’ve had enough when I throw my money up here and walk out of this pub.” she looked up at him and immediately, her entire demeanor changed. “Fuck are you doing, eh? Bartending? What happened to the whole…”

“So you’re not drunk enough to not notice me…”

“Sadly, no.” Y/n shrugged, taking another sip of her drink. “Haven’t seen you since you left for the war.” Five years. He left for the war five long, miserable years ago. She never truly got over it, being left alone like that with the small chance of him coming back.

“Haven’t seen you since you left with the kid…didn’t expect to see you here alone anytime soon.” Thomas poured himself a glass, then poured her another.

“Neither did I…” She downed it without question as he lit a cigarette. He offered her a smoke, and she obliged, taking the first puff from it and blowing it out through her nose.

Again, another truth she didn’t want to admit. She never planned on coming back here. Having not heard from Thomas in so long, she thought he was dead. She resented this place, afraid of the memories it might have brought back for her. Afraid that she wouldn’t be able to let them go.

“You never answered my question? What happened with the whole business thing, running around here like a fucking gangster and all that?”

“Still do it, but I have to keep a few side gigs to seem less suspicious, eh?” He wasn’t wrong. He was clever, intelligent enough to actually try, add succeed covering up his tracks…most of the time, at least.

“So why are you here?” She didn’t want to answer that question, for she had been avoiding it since everything happened. “Somebody watching Willy?”

That was his nickname for William, Y/n’s son. Just the thought of his nickname brought back the memories of when Tommy would help her with him. How he would teach him things, take him places, all of that, just to give Y/n a little break. There were a few times William asked her if Tommy was his father. She told him no, because he wasn’t, but he would still slip and call him “dad” a few times.

She didn’t want to tell Tommy about what had happened, knowing it would probably hurt him too. Not as much as it had hurt her though.

“Y/n? Where’s Willy?”

She gave in.

“Dead, Thomas. He’s dead.” Her words were soft spoken, but in a mournful way. It hasn’t been two months since she woke up to her ill son cold in her arms, his heart stopped. She just wanted the memories of it to be gone already. Her reply made the man freeze, putting down his glass and looking at her, his eyes laced with worry.

“Why didn’t you come here sooner?”

“Thomas, no amount of fuckin money would have saved him, alright? No trip to this filth hole would have made him any better. What would be the fuckin point?”

“I could have helped-”

“He wasn’t your fucking son!”

“Yeah well I fucking felt like he was!” His sudden change in tone made her jump slightly, wishing she hadn’t yelled at him over the whole thing.

William was, however, like a son to Tommy. On multiple occasions, the boy would ask his mother “Can he be my father?” and she would never answer. She didn’t know what to say, her son wanting her good friend to be his dad, and the man already treating him like a son. She made sure to scold the boy when he would ask Tommy, only to have him laugh it off.

“Thomas…” she murmurs, and he reaches out and brushes his knuckles against hers.

“Don’t try saying sorry…because it’s fine.” At this point, they dropped the whole conversation about William, preventing further argument.

By the time she had finished another drink, he had caught up to her, just each other's presence bringing back the memories before the war. They weren’t bad, but they were something to drink over so you would forget about them. Forget about the whole reason the two weren’t being comfortable with each other like you used to.weren’t all happy and comfortable with each other like they used to be.

That wasn’t, however, the only good memory they tried to drown out, the two of them. Between raising her son together, there were things no amount of whiskey, scotch or Irish, could drown from the back of their memories.

The mix of their warm breaths and pants, the rustling of bed sheets in the dead of night. None of it was all that bad, but she had tried everything to forget the brush of his rough hands on her bare skin. He’d drank everything he could find for the longest time to try and forget the taste of her lips and the soft sound of his name when it slipped past them.

The silence between them was loud and irritating. One had hoped the other would speak, but nothing was said. That is, until Thomas spoke up.

“You know, I still remember it all.”

“All of what?” She pulled her hand away.

“That night before I left for the war…five years ago.” He trailed off, putting out the cigarette from earlier and lighting another. She sighed and pushed her glass away, running her hand through her hair.

“I try not to remember it…” She mumbled.

“Why is that?” A stupid question, really. A stupid, yet frequent question. She answered anyways.

“Never thought I would see you again…” It was part of the truth; with the way the war had gone, she never thought he would come out sane, let alone come back from the war at all. She never expected to see him ever again. The rest of the reason was that she didn’t think he would want her after the war. Hell, she didn’t think he wanted her at all, even as they lay together in his bed all those years ago.

Thomas had noticed she wasn’t saying the entire truth to the reason, and he sighed. “I thought of you…every single day I was out there. There wasn’t a single moment you didn’t cross my mind.”

Y/n felt her heart swell, a bit of hope in her eyes as he spoke. She felt her mind was at ease now, more at ease than the alcohol had made it.

“Every damn day I spent in that hell hole…you got me out of it.” He leaned against the bar, trying to get her to meet his gaze.

She drank some more, smiling softly- something she hadn’t done in a long time.

“There’s that smile…” Tommy murmured, the corners of his mouth turning up into a small smile as well.

“What?”

“You only smile like that when you’re drinking.”

“Oh, so you remember the night before you left, and how I smile when I’m the slightest bit drunk?” She teases, her smile turning to a smirk. He chuckles and shakes his head.

“I remember everything. Do you not?”

“I wish I didn’t, but I do. I remember it all.” Tommy passed her the cigarette, watching closely as she took a long drag from it. She leaned her head back and blew the smoke out through her nose. She passed it back to him and he took a smoke before stubbing it out.

At this point, they were multiple drinks in, reliving the stories of their past. Thomas just kept pouring and pouring, and they kept drinking and drinking. Until finally, the the bottle was empty, not a drop left. Tommy had offered to open another bottle, but she declined. She had got off the stool shakily, dizzy from the amount of alcohol she had. She then started to dig through her purse.

“Ah, keep the money. Don’t want you going broke already.” Tommy stopped her.

“It would be stupid of me not to pay you for something.”

Tommy just shook his head and came out from behind the bar. He lifted her chin with his finger and kissed her forehead gently. “You’ve payed me enough.”

With that, they both left the pub, Y/n stumbling with every step. They went their separate ways, once again. Y/n felt a weight on her chest, getting heavier with every step she took away from him. The same weight she ended up there to drink away. Her mind was racing with thoughts of if they’d ever see each other again, if they’d truly lost each other. She wanted to turn back and run to him. She wanted to. But she didn’t. She kept walking, and walking. The weight never left, nor did she think it would ever leave.

It never did

[sometimes-men-need-help-too]

So usually, I will discuss posts from reddit and provide screenshots but today I just wanna discuss the post itself. Most of the commenters are calling her out anyway

I'm reusing this throwaway to again avoid connection to my main.

I (38F) have been dating my current boyfriend (36M) for about 2 years now. It's very difficult for me to make long term commitments like this because of issues I've had growing up and with past relationships - however we've been making things work despite my baggage for the most part.

We hit a roadblock in our relationship a week and a half ago. My bf has his own familial baggage: to sum up without going into the nitty gritty his biological mom left him when he was young. They reunited half a year or so ago - and I guess things went ok there? A little bit over a week ago she passed away, and surprisingly he's taken it way harder than I expected. This is the first time I've seen him cry - and to be honest I hate it. I've done my fair share of crying over my years but I've grown past that phase and in the present I'm not sure I enjoy having that energy around.

Things got worse when he found out his bio mom's family would not let him attend her funeral. Because of this, he hasn't worked since to "take his own time to mourn". I've tried to talk to him about it as I don't get why he's exahausting so much effort to mourn someone who has barely been in his life. He's gotten angry with my reaction but he does know I'm not fit to deal with what he's doing at the moment because of my own experiences.

Now that it's been over a week I've grown both worried and annoyed about the situation. I had a sit down with him and another friend two nights ago to talk to him. I'm not one to hold back so I outright told him to just get over the whole thing already and how it isn't normal to react this much to someone who had wronged him so much. Our mutual friend wasn't expecting that - and to be precise she completely failed to mediate the talk from then on.

Some time into our fight he started crying - yet again. I was really uncomfortable and I outright demanded he stop. He had to be removed from our home. He's been staying with our friend since then and I've been really confused on how to approach further. Our friend has told me I was being harsh but again he knows how I am and how I deal with negative emotions. Still talking with her further has gotten me thinking about how I handeled things.

Edit - clarifying things.

This isn't about my bf's masculinity. The way he's acting triggers something in me. It brings me back to a dark place - that's the negativity I can't be around.

My boyfriend has been my emotional rock for most of our relationship - this sudden shift in his attitude is also contributed to my reaction to the whole ordeal.

I'm not heartless, as I said I have a very rough way of displaying my emotions. Genuinely I feel concern about how my boyfriend is acting.

This is so messed up

First of all, she had no business judging him for crying. If it truly brings her to a dark place(/her not being fit to deal with it) then she needs to get herself some help (and I'm not saying that to be snarky) instead of being in a relationship. You can't be in a relationship with someone, having them be there for you (in this case, emotionally) but you can't be there for them. It isn't fair at all. He can't just be her emotional rock while she doesn't do anything in return.

She also has no business judging him for why he's mourning. He's obviously torn up about it. Maybe he's mourning for the relationship he didn't get to have. Maybe they planned on further patching things up. Whatever it is, she has no right to act like he shouldn't be grieving, especially when she knows he isn't even allowed to attend the funeral.

And then for her to become annoyed--not cool, not okay. How do you just tell someone, a week after their loved one passed, to get over it? How? You don't just suddenly become okay again after a little bit of time passes by. Grief is hard and can be overwhelming. It's harder if you're in a situation like this with an unsupportive S/O.

The kicker is that she demanded him to stop crying and kicked him out. That is abhorrent.

[good-beans]

I saw someone else send in a sad Fuuta mother headcanon so I'll share mine!

Ok so, we know that Fuuta is 20, his mother left the family when he was really young/too young to properly remember her, him and his sister were left in their father's custody

Now the fact Fuuta and his sister were left to their father makes me feel like the mother must've had plans to date and remarry, since while there is a divorce stigma, if a person's young enough and doesn't have kids, its not actually That big a deal (kids are the biggest thing that often gets in the way of remarriage since not a lot of people are fond of the idea of raising children that aren't theirs biologically-)

Anyway, Another thing we know: Fuuta's victim was in middle school, which in Japan is ages 12-14 (probably 13-14 since 13's the minimum age to use twitter)

If we assume his mother left when Fuuta was 5 or younger, that gives his mother over a year to remarry and have a child with someone else (especially if she already had someone in mind when she left Fuuta's dad) And for that child to reach middle school age

Meaning there's a non-zero chance that the middle schooler Fuuta doxxed Could've been his half sister

NOOOO why would you do this to meeeeeee ;___;

That makes a ton of sense, though, that she would leave specifically for another man she had in mind. The thing is it wouldn’t even make a difference to Fuuta’s behavior -- and could actually have made him more motivated to harass her online 😭

Even if he spent his whole life avoiding/shunning his mother as mentioned on the other post, he’d put things together the minute he started looking into Killcheroy’s personal info in order to call her out. She probably did something small and harmful (nothing like the others’ unsanitary or sexual harassment cases), but his emotions flare up. He realizes his mother has started a new family and truly moved on from him. Although the thought is entirely subconscious, he’s incredibly jealous and angry at this girl for taking his mother away. So in his mind, she’s labeled a villain, as bad as all the others.

And he thinks, so what if it’s a little over the top? He has the right to call her out -- he’s her half-brother, after all! (He doesn’t tell anyone though, because that would bring up all the crap about his mother he doesn’t want to face.) He just goes after her and feels securely justified for it. Then, once he sees what happens…

Or, let’s just say he did go all that time without making the familial connection. He calls this random girl out for something small, and is haunted by her death. It makes that interrogation question a hundred times more painful, because the woman he’s looking to for comfort probably hates him for killing her daughter. Even if she didn’t know it was him, she wouldn’t be able to offer any sympathy if he did make it out of Milgram -- she’s grieving and he would realize the whole truth. If he is thrown back into his regular life post-Milgram, would his father want to reach out to the mourning woman? Would Fuuta have to look her in the eye? Would he go to the girl’s funeral?

Hm, and maybe that reveal happened when he was curled up, reading about the girl’s death online. Maybe he saw a picture of his mother on the news, or heard her voice in a clip, and got both nasty surprises at once.

[findafight]

I find Nancy and her relationships so interesting because I feel like the show makes everything way too simply mostly in favor for Nancy. Like the narrative automatically sides with her every time.

In s2, Jonathan shouldn't have encouraged her like that when she wanted to expose the lab. In s1, Jancy was on the same page, Jonathan wanted to find his brother, Nancy, her best friend, so they were working towards the same goal. In s2, Jon didn't have the desire to expose the lab. It's Nancy who is trapped in her guilt that turned into revenge that wanted to do something. Jon had positive experiences with the new lab and realistically wouldn't want to risk putting his mom and brother, who go there weekly, in danger. Especially after witnessing the whole problem, the gate and the vines spreading, he should have put a stop to it. Both didn't know about El being alive. The lab literally was the only thing that stood between the demise of Hawkins. They were the only people searching for a cure. Automatically, Jon should have pushed back bc Nancy wasn't thinking straight bc she was too wrapped up in her shit. Jonathan helping her accept Barb's death in a different way would have been more powerful and helpful bc Nancy still struggles with it after everything. Plus, I'm a believer that the lab would have searched her bag before, knowing she had plans to expose them.

I feel like when Nancy is in a relationship or even with friends, people always have to say yes to her with no pushback. If you push back, she just moves onto someone who will say yes. Robin was her yes man in s4 Jon in s2. In s3, he pushed back the slightest, and you see the conflict that came from it (financial struggles) was never truly resolved from Nancy's part. It carried over to s4 where Jon is afraid to tell her truth that he can't afford to go to college with her. Now, the show treats Jonathan as the villain for this without asking what caused him to lie to Nancy in the first place. It's also because the narrative lets Nancy be right. I think Steve was the only person in s4 who was a bit apprehensive with the plan, and yet this is treated as something bad, or he doesn't know what he is talking about. Or within the fandom people use his different opinion as proof he doesn't get Nancy, and look at Robin who just goes along and understands she's the best suited partner for her.

I feel like Nancy doesn't grow much personally throughout the series because she never gets truly challenged. And if she does, it's resolved in a way to her favor. Like, I think she needs someone who isn't a doormat who challenges her in a way that makes her realize she has to change her behavior in certain situations. I will forever mourn the plot s4 could have gotten if they made Robin into the person who would challenge Nancy. Both girls are smart. If Robin was the driving force in the investigation god, that would already set Nancy off.

oh yeah, the show sort of hands Nancy relationships on a silver platter and we never see her actually put in effort towards them? and this prohibits Nancy from growing more than she could! It doesn't let Nancy be wrong let alone admit she's wrong. We see Mike apologize to Will, and Steve apologize to Dustin, we see Robin and Steve have back and forth and Steve trying to get robin a gf, and we see El and Max spend time together talking and getting to know each other. we see them interacting in a way that we see there is a push and pull.

But we see Nancy and Jonathan fall into bed together, Jonathan supporting Nancy's (ill-advised, even if the show won't admit it because that would mean saying Steve was right) plan to expose the lab. I think your point about Jonathan not having a reason to do that is super interesting because you're right! we know the lab is sketchy as hell, but to Jonathan they're the reason Will went missing, but also the reason they got him back. Will's been getting treatment or tests done there for nearly a year by that point, and while Jon may be distrustful of the Lab, wanting to take away the only official support his family has for what they went through doesn't make sense. What were they expecting to happen to the MASSIVE ALTERNATE DIMENSION GATE if the lab shut down? (why did owens show them lmao. why weren't they searched?) it makes no sense and just reinforces the idea that Steve had a point. I think if they had been able to have the library conversation not in public, then maybe he could have worked something out to help Nancy but alas. They didn't and people just point ot it as Steve dismissing Nancy and pretending everything is fine (when Nancy was also doing that!!)

When Jonathan does resist Nancy's idea (which isn't even UD related she just wanted to prove herself to misogynistic jerks) because financially his family needs him to have a job, and him having a job working in a field he likes and enjoys is a best case for him to get better work out of hawkinis/into uni, and honestly Jon had a sweet gig because he didn't mind the work, it was good job experience, and it would look good on a college application.

While Nancy is right that they shouldn't treat her with mockery, I can't help but think it's...incredibly naive of her? She was an intern. She wasn't going to get anything other than interviewing people for fluff pieces if she got anything other than typing/gofering to begin with. It's frustrating because living in a sexist world you do have to pick your battles. She has no power there, because she's an intern and replaceable and a teenager. It's just not realistic to me that she would think she would get anywhere or get away with trying to follow the rabies rat lead. (which is also...a boring story like oooh rat rabies? in a town where whole fields of pumpkins rotted on the vine? Very much an excuse to inset Jonathan and Nancy into the plot [season 3 is a mess and the best thing from it is robin and scoops troop which tbh makes up for it imo]) Like she could be mad and frustrated and insulted and humiliated, let her rant about that!! about her powerlessness! That's interesting and heartbreaking because there really isn't anything to do but quit then. but idk what she thought she was going into in a male dominated field in her podunk town. Not blaming her just think that writing decision should have been thought through more.

Her fight with Jonathan actually kinda made me think jancy was interesting for a second because yes!! those are real conflicting issues and priorities!! That's relationship conflict that's real and natural for the characters to have! and misunderstanding!! and then Nancy's mom (ew) gives her a speech when it's like bro. you're owed an apology but you also owe Jonathan one if you want to repair and strengthen your relationship. So she never apologizes and jon gives a half-assed apology and then they never have to talk about it again because the UD is here and that's more important!! It's another place where Nancy's development stalled and it's frustrating because it also makes Jonathan more of a doormat (sorry Jon you've been done so dirty)

their s4 conflict is so stupid to me. It goes both ways like damn Nancy if you missed your boyfriend whose family is notoriously broke maybe you should go visit him? or talk to him? It's an issue for both of them (I think it's really weird that people bring up steve's RV dream and wanting Nancy beside him to shit on Stancy but barely bring up the fact that Jonathan [admittedly in a catastrophizing spiral, but one might also think Steve, having been half eaten and going into a situation that could kill him, was also not in his most steady of mind] assumed Nancy would drop everything to be with him in California (after saying she's incredibly ambitious) and they'd have kids etc? idk it's just that both mentioned kids but only Steve mentioned his own experience with taking care of kids, wheras Jon is using that as part of his excuse for lying to her...) Jonathan lying is obviously a problem. He's "slow-mo breaking up with Nancy" and that's an issue he's got, but we only see Nancy stressed about it but also not...really do anything about it? idk we don't get to see her fight for her relationship with a boy she supposedly loves! Why not? Why can't we see Nancy's stubbornness and pride and ambition turned in the direction of saving her relationship with Jonathan? Instead of him just coming back to Hawkins and them still being a bit awkward around each other, him lying, her having been flirting with Steve for a week. Like. Why didn't we see her pull him aside and go "okay I love you. We're obviously having issues and it's absolutely not the best time but I can't take not talking to you and feeling like we're drifting!"

With the whole plan at the end of s4...yeah. The narrative/show can't let Nancy be wrong and/or Steve be right. It also needed a plan that would fail. So we get Steve pushing against the plan, treated like he's being irrational for it, and then it failing. As for Nancy needing to be challenged...I mean yeah? but also I think a key part of what she wants from romo relationships is to not be challenged! She doesn't like when her boyfriends push back against her ideas/plans, and ignores them anyways. Which is why it's so frustrating that there have been opportunities for the writers to let Nancy be wrong and learn and grow and they just...don't. They validate her decisions even if they make no sense.

And the thing is...Robin is Thee driving force in their investigation. she gets it right again and again and is the reason the connection to music is even made, But for some reason I feel like the show treats it as another Nancy Investigation Success instead of Nancy being the one that was just kinda there and also a bit mean to robin for no reason other than jealousy. The opportunity for Robin to be a challenge to Nancy's authority was there! It was there and all they would've had to do was have Robin not suck up to Nancy, have the show/narrative acknowledge it was Robin who was the reason the got any information beyond the name Victor Creel, and have Nancy realize that she isn't infallible and right all the time. It would have been so good to see her take stock and reconsider herself and her decisions and her relationships and want to make a friendship with Robin, who wouldn't be co-operative.

[mercysought]

[ FINAL ]:     a letter written in the aftermath of the recipient’s death, where the writer knows they’ll never get the chance to read it. [ oh god this also has to be maxima & eleanor pls ] 

letters / accepting / @imbricare

Maxima shakes the folded piece of paper between her fingers, slapping it rhythmically. It would not be long before her absence was noticed. The light of the candle did not reach the corners of the room. One last time, she opens the letter she had written just a few moments ago.

Eleanor, I still cannot believe it. Forgive me for my selfishness: when talking about your death I will make it about myself. I don't know of any other way to speak about it. I feel that only you — only now — can help me talk about such things. Forgive me, and thank you. When I was five I saw two rats gnawing at the left eye of a young boy in Paris. He had been dead for a few days then. I didn't know him, but I could have easily been in his place. It is an image that has never truly left me. Death has accompanied me since that day: in the darker corners of rooms, in the smoke of my cigarettes, in the lines on my hands. I have always been able to see my own death in the eyes of others. When I left Paris for life at the Walrus, I feared I would die at sea. My body would be thrown over the water after suffering whatever indignity the world thought I deserved given the anger my existence has commanded. Eaten by the depths and forgotten by all. My father would have finally sighed with relief and my mother felt lighter — now that the stain upon her life was finally removed. It has been years since I checked on her, but I believe she is still alive and content. I believe she thinks of me as dead already. These days I fear my death will come on land instead: By the hands of English men, Spaniards or from Flint and those loyal to him. I see Death so clearly now, Eleanor. Knowing you died I feel my own fate is sealed: I will die here too. I wish this could bring me some measure of peace, that it would push me to make preparations, but dread is all I feel. You died and the world moved on and more died since. It feels ordinary and it feels unfair. It is so unfair. I was not there when they found you, Flint refused to tell me anything beyond the facts. As much as I wish I could lie to myself and think that this was all an elaborate lie from Flint to hurt me, I know the truth. I wish I could believe that you found a way to Philadelphia yourself. Found a body to trick any and all that might come looking for you. I so wish I could believe that. I am so sorry Eleanor. Nassau was better to have had you. Goodbye.

She folds it once more holding it to the flame. She makes sure that it is burnt to the very last piece. It takes some time, the door that keeps her in solitude gets a single knock but she does not turn. She doesn't turn when it is finally opened. There was no time to mourn, Maxima was unsure if there would ever be, but there was work to do.