#now i have other hobbies and goals and other things to do w my life!!

[witheringscreations]

wanted to post so much more this month bc i've been busy the past year and haven't posted often but then i got slammed so uh hopefully that changes after the holidays and i can ring in the new year w some recolors for y'all

[saltnpepperbunny]

Hi SPB, I was wondering where your motivation/creativity comes from and how you harness it? Thank you!

Hi! owo Uhhh a few different places. My motivation and my creativity come from different places but they work together to help me do what I do.

My motivation to make comics comes from:

Comments and feedback, I want my art to be a conversation with another person and thus feedback is kinda what I make comics for. I love how as my stories speak, people will speak back.

The fun of drawing, I just enjoy drawing comics like as an activity, it makes me happy, it's a very rhythmic and relaxing process, and thus its a regular part of my days. I just love having the finished page to stare at at the end.

The fervor of storytelling, that shit's my serotonin bro, I just need to write stories, it's an important part of how I navigate my life on like a structural level. It's how I process the world around me, so as my life goes on and stuff happens, I feel motivated to write about it. And comics are the main way I do my writing now.

To keep up w my community, I surround myself w other comic artists and a lot of us work, draw, and create together. It's a sacred bond between artists. u'w'u If I stopped comicking, I'd have like nothing to show them? There'd be no goal to work towards? Most of my friends make comics lol.

And my creativity comes from:

The need to process, as life treks on I tend to have Big Feelings about Almost Everything and writing is how I process those feelings and just, the world around me in general. You input experiences into this machine and I will output a fiction story. It's how I make sense of things and make meaning of my experiences.

The drive to keep improving, I always want my storytelling to get better and thus I have to continuously get creative to invent new ways to write and draw better. It's a never ending process, there is ALWAYS something to sharpen, so I just keep searching for new means to improve, things to tweak, ways something could be better. It's a never ending challenge and I need challenge in my life. It's like something to work on.

Internal experiences, feelings, opinions, fears, hopes, wishes, thoughts, ideas, questions, answers, et cetera.

Love, is definitely involved. Love has a huge involvement in my creative process. It's soaked into so many different, little parts of the process. Like uhhh taking a character through a journey? That's love. Writing new kinds of rep? That takes love. It's kinda just everywhere and it's something I can draw from very consistently cause those Big Feelings I mentioned includes love.

I also tend to write from anger and a strong sense of in/justice. Could you tell lol.

I like to take a lot of inspiration from nature, also. All my backgrounds are just me blowing a kiss to mother nature.

This is getting long sorry but how to harness it all, uhhhhh. Practice. Build habits. Make an effort to get creative on the regular, not necessarily every day, but try to avoid massive dry spells unless you're really not doing well or there's an understandable reason for it. Dry spells are ultimately unavoidable but don't have to define your creative cycle, it IS possible to create on the reg unless you're not taking care of yourself well. Don't only create when you're hyperfixated cause that just builds a habit to do that, if you're not feeling up to it, just do the thing for like 30 minutes and then either stop and chill or keep going cause the momentum will now carry you. I create p much every day cause it's an important part of how I navigate my life i.e. the processing motive and insatiable need for challenge, I can never stop writing now as long as I live cause writing is how I meet those needs. So yeah, just be like me and sell your soul to the gods art! Make the thing you wanna do fun, don't beat your head against a brick wall if that creative hobby you're trying to get into just really isn't sticking, it's not ALWAYS meant to be and it's okay to admit that and just move on and try something new. I tried many different kinds of art before I ever found comicking and it stuck, and now I basically just do comicking and some of my other older creative hobbies fell away. That's fine, that's life, you'll find your thing if you keep searching out new things. Oh, and also get in community, surround yourself w other creatives and consume they're work, trust me you'll get inspired p quick.

wow this got longER. sorry!

[prettybbychim]

i’ve never like thought about the future or what i want for myself

when it’s drilled into you that the world is going to end and be reborn ever since the day you were conceived..there’s no point in hoping or dreaming or wondering. i was actively discouraged from doing so

you can’t go to college, you must live simply and never strive for more, you must dedicate your life in service to god, you must only worship god, learn more about him, and teach others - there is no place for hobbies, goals, or interests outside of Him.

get baptized, then full time ministry, then get a job only to support your ministry work, then get married, then preach side by side with your spouse, then teach your children in these ways.

the only acceptable form of higher education was learning a trade to work at the world headquarters

i never liked any of that. so i didn’t think about that. but i also didn’t think about what else there could be. i haven’t thought about my life beyond becoming an adult and then there’s a blurry space until the world is wiped clean

i haven’t thought about even moving out of my parents’ house. that’s treacherous unknown waters. it’s super fucking scary

idk what i thought was going to happen, if i was just gonna coast along until i die. i know logically i can’t and i don’t want to either

18 years of there’s no point, all your efforts are worthless, and god will wipe all your achievements away in the end. just a worker bee to spread the message of doom with no conceivable end date

i was talking with my therapist about possibly maybe applying for section 8 housing so i can get out of this house of traumatic memories and to stop living w these people because they only cause me distress.

i genuinely think i would be in a better mental state if i had those two things. i feel pretty good in the depression department actually, for what feels like the first time ever.

but this house and my family keep dragging me down into the deep.

i have other issues, yeah. namely my physical health, anxiety and adhd, money. i’m at least working towards bettering those things, trying to get a diagnosis or treatment while doing the work i can right now

i really think those things would be easier to manage if my own home wasn’t sucking the life out of me

then i come back to the no future outlook. to get away, i have to actually get away. i have to actually move out, change my life i’ve settled into, enter a world that was beaten into me that i can’t do that, i shouldn’t do that, there’s no point, it’s a sin and a disgrace.

i just get stuck at this point, just so fucking afraid to even entertain the thought of change, of doing anything with my life, even when i know their teachings were horseshit, that it’s okay to do those things

i know it’s okay to make friends. but i freeze at any opportunity because everyone outside the religion is bad and sinful and will perish.

what do i want? i don’t know. what do i like? i don’t know. who am i? i don’t know.

you know what i want? what my dream is?

i want to live in a small apartment with a roommate who doesn’t hate me.

it took me four years to realize that and admit it and i still feel deep shame over it

i still wonder, is this a normal human experience? am i dramatizing a common occurrence? is this simply a part of growing up? am i freaking out over nothing?

i feel like i am. i don’t know if i am

[formula-red]

thank u @gaygglejuice27 @f1-giuki and @sennaverstappen for the tags ily MWAH!!!!!!!

get to know ur moots qs!!!!

Are you named after anyone? yes but my full name was her nickname, she was a close family friend and possibly one of the most kind, intelligent, talented, and hilarious people i have ever known and it might sound cliche but i really am honoured to be named after her. my middle name is also after another woman who was a strong bad ass bitch (my great aunt) so kinda balling out in that sense.

When was the last time you cried? yesterday? yeah yesterday. i never used to cry and now i do all the time i don't know what's happened

Do you have kids? no but being a mom is my ultimate goal in life so ideally want to have some before the end of this decade lol

Do you use sarcasm a lot? uh yes. probably to the extreme. but being dry and sarcastic af has helped me get along with the brits hahah

What sports do you play/have you played? i had to stop playing sports when i got sick but i played footy since i was 3 (centre mid like khadizah heh heh), and then lacrosse and ice hockey most of my life. also field hockey for a year. but ice hockey was by far my biggest love i miss it so much. oh and i hike a lot now if that counts

What's the first thing you notice about other people? eyes and smile fs. for someone who hates eye contact i sure do pay a lot of attention to ppls faces/eyes lol

Scary movies or happy ending? happy ending, life is hard enough as it is

Any special talents? something is wrong with the joints in my pinky fingers so i can move them like a robot. also i make music which isn't that special but oh well

Where were you born? in the state of massachusetts in the grand ol us of a

What are your hobbies? f1 (in case u didn't notice), music, writing, hiking, video games, making imovies, i keep up with footy a bit

Do you have any pets? i have two dogs back in the states, one in particular was my buddy and i miss her so much. can't think about her too much or i'll cry

How tall are you? 5'3" ≈ 161cm

Fave subject in school? biology & choir pre-uni, obviously in uni psych since i've gone on to get my masters in it but also environmental bio still has my heart.

Dream job? stay at home mom or homesteader. yes yes i know i sound alt-right or something but i mean this in a fuck capitalism i wanna be a self sufficient hippie and have my kids get an experiential education kinda way.

Eye colour? blue but my right one has some brown streaks in it.

a lot of ppl have been tagged so i don't know who has n hasn't, either way tagging (as always w/out any pressure at all) my pals mwah mwah mwah @usersewis @schumigrace @simplywrong @rossocorsaseb @albonium @skitskatdacat63 **eta: @osaka-lilac i don't know why it didn't paste ur un when i copied over from the notes app you were supposed to be in here too ;;;;;-;;;;; ILY ILY ILY ILY**

[luxtax]

Hi!! I was wondering: how long have you been a professional?

While I have artistic skills, I am JUST BARELY entering the paid-professional world and I find it very daunting. I aspire to charge the prices you charge, but I'm worried about jumping in too deep when I don't even have a following yet, haha!

When you were starting out, what kind of prices did you charge? Are you glad you picked that level? Were people receptive to it? How long did it take for you to get where you are?

I'm sorry if you've answered these questions somewhere, but I could not find these answers ;w;

Also, feel free to ignore this - no hard feelings! I'm just impressed with you, and I'd like to get where you are some day (:

Hello! Don't worry this isn't a bother at all and I'm always happy to answer any questions people have! Of course art is subjective and what works for some people might not work for others so keep that in mind! This is general advice from my own life/journey and can/should be adjusted to fit you and your specific skill/level/life.

Now with that out of the way, I've been doing art commissions on/off since I was about 15/16ish. I've always had side jobs to stay afloat until about 2+ years ago. In 2020 I went fulltime with art and started considering myself professional. However, the second you take a commission it becomes a job, you got paid for a service and you're entering the professional world vs the hobby world. You have to take it seriously and understand that being your own boss comes with many benefits as well as hazards. Being diligent and disciplined while also maintaining your work/life balance with your physical and mental health in mind is harder than it looks. However, it CAN be done, don't let it deter you just be mindful.

I 100% encourage everyone/anyone to give it a try if that is your dream. It is very daunting and I implore you to take your time with it. Building an audience is really important, but so is loving your craft. Creating art YOU want to see in the world, depending on what kind of art you do there are a lot of options available.

When I first started out, like many artists I severely undercharged for my work. Three things should be taken into account when you're doing commissions -- 1. how long does it take you? Hourly rate. Make sure you're making at least minimum wage. 2. Skill level. Now this is subjective, but if you hone a craft you should charge more for it. Art is something you can always keep striving for improvement on. As your skills grow, so should your price. If you get more diverse with your species, styles, backgrounds and so on. All of that has to play a part in pricing yourself. 3. Market. The market fluxes, what is your audience? What is your market? I believe marketing is more than half of the battle of being an artist. Art is subjective, everyone has an audience somewhere. However, finding that audience and marketing to them effectively can be a challenge. Each website has analytics that help with engagement -- especially as a starting artist. Each website has a best time to post, what content does best, how responsive people are and so on. These are things you can research but it will also involve just a lot of trial & error.

People were not always receptive to my work, I've failed 100+ times and I will fail 100+ more. Art and being a creative in general is a lot about failure and refusing to give up. If something doesn't work out, you have to adjust and try again. It's the blunt reality that I know a lot of us don't talk about, nobody likes to fail but when you create something new and original that's just par for the course. So don't be afraid of failure, it'll happen and it's okay. Just try again, there is no perfect time to put yourself out there. Remember set manageable goals and standards, take care of your body (seriously stretch and take breaks. Don't draw on pure white. Like take care of yourself you only get one body. Art is taxing labor) and ALWAYS ALWAYS celebrate your small victories.

It took me many years to get where I am at now, but I caught a lucky break after putting in a ton of work. Optimizing my posting time and staying extreme consistent was a huge part of my success. Marketing skills are your BEST FRIEND. Art is a lot of skill, luck and marketing. If you keep trying at it and working towards your goal eventually you will get it to work. The key is consistency, patience, and gradual growth.

I believe in you and every other aspiring artist, take that first step. Failure is nothing to fear, it's growth and experience points.

[adobodemon]

New Years Resolution Manifestation Rant Listicles

and yes I'll put it under Read More for all of our sakes. Happy New Year 2014 everbody!!

Prelude: Who I want to be

lemme be real for a sec. I am going to be turning a serious age this year. rhymes with flirty. I have had time to get grown but now it's time to get wise! It's time for me to get behind the wheel of my life again. I felt like I was behind it 4 years ago but We All Know What Happened. It Is Happening To All Us. Coming back home to my parents stunted my growth a little and also I feel it erode at my current friendships. I feel like I'm doing a good job of improving myself, but this year I need to improve my relationship to others. So yeah in short, less autopilot, more hangouts with friends, less overwork, more hobbies...

How will I go from Consoomer and Doomer to Improover and Dooer?

1. Be more consistent with what I want to practice - that goes for working out, digital art, other hobbies I may want to pick up... saw a Tiktok once saying that we need to pick up slow activities again bc clearly, the need to be instantly gratified has poisoned almost every aspect of our lives. InstaGrat also helps us be in autopilot a lot easier, we can't think, we can't breathe, we can't taste our food before swallowing it down. this year I'm going to change that by planting a lot of seeds that I may not see bloom for weeks, months, years even!

2. Approach people with curiosity - not the best communicator as I've said many different times on this blog. I always catch myself trying to make the conversation about myself and how I can relate to it instead of asking the other person more about themselves or what they think. I've seen enough thinkpieces on other sites recommend this that I might as well try it for myself and see how it works out.

3. Get off my damn phone - already made steps towards this! Tiktok and IG are gone from my phone, whenever I go into a huge timesink like Tumblr (sorry) or Discord I set it up so I get an annoying pop-up telling me all the other things I could be doing! (I will share this Shortcut w anyone who needs it, iPhone exclusive tho sorry)

4. Appreciate all the stuff I have - while I am nowhere need as bad as my mom who needs to go to Burlington and buy 3 whatchamacallits or else she has a nervous Boomer breakdown, I do admit I own and have access to a lot of things I take for granted, like books, games, tools like my iPad, PC, etc. I will fight against analysis paralysis, I will squeeze the life out of all that I own, I won't spend another day bored inside my head if I don't have to.

5. Collect. Organize. Do. - one of my oomfs indirectly changed my Youtube algorithm for the good and I've been getting a lot of videos from Improovtube. skimmed through a video that suggested a neat system for getting things done: Collect your thoughts and desires. Organize your tasks. Do the things that make it happen. and just like that every self improvement book I've read is useless. lol no but really it's crazy that that's all it boils down to. I will investigate more on this system but for now this seems like a good modus operandi.

Epilogue: Specific non-specific goals

Completing my year long art practice regimen

Reading more of my physical books and manga (and I get to see their spines when I finish :D)

Bigger boobs

Becoming a homeowner

Homoeroticism

Going to at least 5 group activities and meeting new people there

[thesugarhole]

quick venting post just as i finally began internalizing 'oh well play the cards im dealt' and try to find some comfort in the life i currently have and making future plans to go for an easier get-by once i have a safety net (savings) its like. im suddenly and steadily bombarded by messages like 'make sure you do what you want now dont let life take you on the predicted path its a risk you gotta take' like fucking hello??? theyre not mutually exclusive to a degree but its also... idk to explain its like if you dont have it planned from 10 years old then you might have some good experiences but its never the life youll want. and its direct conflit with 'never too late to start doing something'

yesterday night for example i opened the 'news' (its more articles full of advertising and soccer than actual news) tab on my phone and there was one like 'tips from CEO who retired at 44!' and it w

boiled down to, quote 'having life planned to the microscopic detail by the time she was 20' (im 27 this year, fucking come on) studied hard, worked hard for the first youthful years, made it to portugal microsoft ceo(?) and amassed enough to retire early.

it was mentioned she lost her parents early (at 50yos, but how old was she then?) that helped push her to plan it like this but like. well first of all i guess im still too bright eyed because i dont believe this ceo thing possible without loosing morals/ideals along the way (ive yet to met a ceo thats not incredibly out of touch and wants to fuck over everyone and everything for their own gain), but i find it harder to believe there was no silver spoon, especially for those first years. granted if shes 44 now she probably had an easier economy then, but hm. millions work hard from the moment theyre born, how come they don't retire at 44?

the investments. there it was. 'oh i invested in real estate and other small things' thats not hard work, thats gambling. and thats the exact moral loss i expected, the way real estate in portugal is now. and god this pisses me off so much what the FUCK does 'invest in real estate' EVEN MEAN?? you want me to buy stocks off some company?? you want me to buy a house and become a landlord?? i dont even have a place for myself, much less for the tourists and digital nomads. and for every one person saying they got rich off investing, oh you gotta invest smart etc theres 10 currently trying and bleeding money and about 30 that already gave up on it. like it genuinely feels like any other get rich quick scheme where its disheartening that it worked for a couple people and those couple people already had money to begin with

idk if any if this is gonna make sense im writing from heart and whatever the text leads but you understand this right. like my current goal is to just find something later on that will pay decent, not make me slowly but steadily give up on it and have personal time for hobbies. and then i get this shit thrown at me. in 4 months ive been broken down enough that the ridiculous honey pot that is 'invest! stocks! etc!' is starting to appeal to me. like i am not going to be different from the other failure cases im not one lottery away from being set for life. and at the very least im not putting money in the machine selling 40m2 studio apartments for 1 million euros to foreigners while throwing people in the streets if they had houses, jail if they were illegally occupying abandoned houses with no roof. fuck sakes

[regan-arksey]

Week 1: Strengths And Weaknesses

Hello! My name is Regan Arksey, first and foremost I'm excited to be working with my new class and I look forward to this new learning experience. As a starting post, I will be listing a few entrepreneur strengths and weaknesses I posses! Starting off strong, I have been raised by a family that has quite a bit of business history (my father owning a gas station). This, in turn, had my parents put me through a bunch of afterschool programs that better molded me into a social/leadership type person. That being said, two of my biggest strengths is effectively communicating with customers/employees and my ability to think creatively/outside the box! My visionary type of creativity stems from my hobby of being a self taught digital art (to which I've been doing for roughly three years now though I've been doing art all my life). Since I've been working in A&W for a good 5 years, one of my bigger weaknesses is that I'm used to working for people instead of having people work for me. I find it more relaxing being told what to do instead of telling others what to do, I sometimes find it difficult to face problems (such as an upset customer) because I'm afraid of anger, though working for 5 years in A&W, I have grown more resistant. This stems from my non-confrontational nature, as I'd much rather just go with what others may say (this can also be seen as a pro to some degree, as it shows I am able to keep calm in stressful situations). The good thing, however, about the type of business I do is that I am my own owner and do not need employees (digital artist as mentioned prior) That being said, I have taken on a leadership roll at A&W as a senior cashier worker - so much so that I've even trained our regional manager when he first started! I make concepts in a workplace easy to understand, so much so others can do the same. Another strength of mine is my ability to financially plan smartly. This is also due to the fact my father is a finances type of man, so I've learned a lot off of him. Saving money on the side incase something happens and being able to limit/budget myself. The beauty of this type of business I will be running through this course is that I will not need to use a budget. I use a free digital art program with all the tools I'd ever need! No need for that pricey Photoshop here! One last weakness I do face is my time management. If there's something I do not understand, I will procrastinate/hold it off until I start stressing. Its what ended up happening to this post, I would have had this done sooner had I sat down and read it more clearly/thought it through. Though once I do understand an objective or an end-goal I get it done as soon as possible without hesitation. Since I've been doing art for myself as well and only myself, I've never challenged myself to actually put a deadline on. Though, since I will be taking a couple of commissions now through this course - I will have to start doing so which I am confident I will be able to meet! In the end, I know I will do well and achieve all the goals I will set for myself. When I meet failure, I will pick myself right back up and double down to achieve success the next time around. I look forward to what this course has in store for me and I'm excited to see what I can learn!

[thenewpathfinder2024-2034]

Most relationship mistakes have fixes, though, which is a good thing. Because last I checked, there was no manual for a partner who feels misunderstood or a partner who crosses on of your boundaries. It's a lot of trial and error. A lot of screwing up and forgiving.

W

You knsow that knowledge is power. And now that you know these common relationship mistakes and how to fix them, you can avoid the rocky road that leads to resentment and anger. You can be on the side of love and positive growth.

1. Not Setting Up Boundaries

Not setting up boundaries is probably the biggest, most common problem I saw in relationships. If we don't teach each other how we want to be treated, they won't know. Boundaries are essential to keeping the peace and being respectful in a relationship.

The Fix: When your partner says or does something that makes you uncomfortable, you have to let them know. This is how you lovingly establish boundaries. Try saying things like "Instead of X it would be better for me if you Y." Like, instead of yelling, "I would rather you took time to cool off." You can also be more direct, like "I don't want you to say 'I hate you' to me, ever, even if we're just playing." Boundary created.

2. Not Voicing Concerns

You partner is not perfect, so you can't treat them like they never do anything wrong. On the other hand, you don't want to be a constant critic. Both scenarios lead to resentment, frustration and anger on both your parts.

The Fix: You have to learn the difference between when a situation is something you should just let go, and when you need to speak up. This is hard and takes time. But it's worth doing. Otherwise, those little things that bother you will build up into big regrets.

3. Not Being Independent

One plus one does not equal one. People tend to get lost in relationships, which is not healthy. Maintaining independence while also fostering your closeness is the best way to go, Otherwise, you're creating this co-dependent soup that fosters more problems than it solves.

The Fix: Do your own thing once in a while. Have and hang out with your own friends. Keep doing your hobbies and working toward your personal goals. Spend alone time with yourself. You have to have a life outside of your relationship, too.

4. Making Unrealistic Promises

When you make unrealistic promises, that means you will eventually break those promises. Breaking promises is a great way to damage the trust you worked so hard to build in your relationships. Better to skip making promises you can't keep.

The Fix: Instead of saying "I will never hurt you" say, "I will do my best to never hurt you." Instead of saying "I'll handle it" every time there's a problem say, "we'll handle it together."

5. Depending On Each Other Too Much

If you're completely dependent on your partner, what will you do if your relationship ends suddenly? Being too dependent isn't healthy. Not only does it make things harder if the relationship ends, but it can keep you trapped with a lack of options.

The Fix: You have to be able to stand on your own as a whole, individual person, should your relationship end. Figure out whatever it takes to get there, and go for it, even if it's just baby steps. Learn how to use the bus. Take online classes. A little independence will make positive changes in your relationship, even if that seems counter-intuitive.

6. Not Making Time For Play

Play does amazing things for the friendship component of your relationship. Happy couples play, in whatever way works for them! They enjoy each other's company.

The Fix: Play! Be silly. Sing songs. Dance. Do fun things. Go on dates. Watch funny movies. Tell jokes. Goof around. Laugh. Whatever it takes to make each other smile and feel the light-hearted joy of being together.

7. Getting Lazy With Affection And Romance

Humans need touch to survive, and the chemicals in your brain that create those loving feelings thrive on touch. A relationship without touch is one doomed for failure.

The Fix: Create routines, at fist, like always kissing goodbye, or always hugging when someone gets home. Then, whenever you think about it, add in little things, like squeezing a knee on the train, holding hands during Netflix time, or even just randomly touching while you're running errands.

8. Trying Too Hard To Please Each Other

Trying too hard and doing too much sets up unrealistic expectations, which always lead to disappointment. You can't do everything and be everyone to your partner, no matter how much you may want to. This is especially problematic if one person is doing all of the pleasing in a relationship.

The Fix: Work on being your best self. Let your partner work on being their best self. You'll get into a rhythm soon enough. Be good to each other in a natural way. Go the extra mile once in a while, but not every single time you do something. It's not sustainable.

9. Not Communicating Changing Needs And Feelings

Couples can grow apart or grow together. To grow together, you have to keep getting to know each other, time and time again, month after month, and year after year. If you're not regularly checking in with each other on an emotional level, you'll soon lose your connection.

The Fix: Talk often. Discuss big, important things, like jobs, interests, kids, and family on a regular basis. Ask questions. Support each other during times of growth and change. Learn a little about the things that interest your partner.

10. Not Appreciating The Small Things

Big things are wonderful, but the bulk of life is made up of little things. If you don't appreciate the little things, and occasionally treat them like big things, you're in for a life of disappointment.

The Fix: Say "thank you" when you notice your partner doing something, even something small, like taking out the trash when it's your turn, or holding the door open. Practice gratitude for each other. Work harder to notice all the things your partner does for you that might otherwise go unnoticed. Pumping gas, or getting you a coffee can be a powerful way to show love.

11. Not Doing The Work

Relationships are hard. They're a lot of work. Sometimes you have to overlook the fact that you're super tired and you just want to go home because you promised you'd go somewhere with your partner. Sometimes you have to work hard to stifle criticism and find a more loving way to express your feelings. It's all part of the game. If you get too comfortable in your relationship, and you get lazy, then you're in for a bad time.

The Fix: You have to do the work. There's no other way to say it. Sometimes you have to suck it up and do things you don't want to do. If your partner and your relationship are worth it, you'll find a way.

You won't be able to avoid making all of these mistakes. But the good thing about that is the opportunity it presents to learn and become the best partner you could possibly be.

[imsoglitter]

Hi kate! Idk if you’ll see this or answer but I wanted to send bc I’ve been following u for awhile and see u as sort of a big sibling/mentor that reminds me that it gets better and one day everything will be okay :’) do u have advice on how to move on? I’m femme and had my first ever kinda relationship w a butch and it was nice but they abandoned me on my bday celebration after blowing up on me saying that I was too high maintenance, materialistic, sparkly, and pink and my emotions were “too much to process” and “my presence was unhealthy��� 6 months later they’re engaged to another femme who is more slow living and earthy. sucked a lot bc from day 1 they said I WASNT too much and that they would never leave. Idk I’m not sad I dont wish I was the soon wife but I’m convinced now that I’ll never find anyone bc all butches/mascs at the end of the day want that & I’ll be alone 4evr. I noticed all of my butch/femm couple friends are kinda same the same (earthy, natural, no glitz or glamour, etc). Feeling v high femme camp antics essay rn and having trouble coping. I tried changing my aesthetic and being minimalist but it put in deep depression so idk what to do. I’m unlikeable to all the ppl I’m attracted to but fitting in to be likable makes me want to kms. Any thoughts or ideas?? Hope this doesn’t come off as trauma dumping 😖

Hi anon! I don't know if I'm the right person to answer this bc I'm definitely a lazy femme who doesn't have the energy to be high femme, and the advice I'm going to give you is something you've probably heard a million times before.

If someone dislikes you enough to dump you on your birthday, you are better off without them. This goes for any other special occasion as well. The first time I got dumped, they very politely waited until I got back from a special trip I was on so it wouldn't be ruined, and I'm really glad for that. It made everything amicable and we're still penpals to this day. It sounds like your ex was bad at communicating the problems they were having in the relationship, given the blowup, and reacted pretty immaturely tbh. That's not the kind of person you want to spend your life with. (I'm also very wary of people who get married after less than a year of knowing each other, but that's a separate issue)

Honestly the best advice I can give you, and you're probably going to hate this, is take a break from looking for a sexual/romantic relationship. Focus on the other relationships in your life, whether they're with friends or family or even coworkers. And spend time with yourself. Definitely don't change everything about yourself to be with someone because you're going to have to live with yourself your whole life. The most important person to like you is going to be yourself. If you want to change think about expanding rather than dumping everything and picking something new.

And on the topic of finding someone who will love you the way you are, your best goal is to be patient, and to take action when you feel ready. Don't settle with someone who tolerates you or you'll end up like my parents (bad). And if you feel like there's potential, don't be afraid to make the first move. Pining is fun until it's not anymore so it's better to skip that part sometimes lol

Practical speaking here's my advice:

Delete your dating apps for a while

Get yourself a vibrator

Go to the movies by yourself

Pick up a new physical hobby like gardening or woodworking or cooking, something you can touch

If you hate your new hobby drop it and try something else

Try a new restaurant you've never been to before

Go for a walk/sit in a park weather permitting and birdwatch

And if you're seriously suicidal, take inventory of yourself and see if you can come up with a plan to avoid that headspace. Therapy and meds helped for me, but the main thing was moving out of a toxic environment. Plus I'm not stupid enough to pretend that therapy fixes everything all the time

I guess I'm saying you should date yourself, but trying to not make it sound super corny lol. I hope this helps and I hope you can figure out how to get out of your rut. I'm rooting for you!

[notgonnashutup]

Go through your list and choose the person who feels the most “hot” to you. Write out an answer to each of the following questions for that person. When you have the time, return to this list and complete the following questions with everyone you’ve listed.

What do I resent this person for? W for not calling me back when she said she would, and never hearing from her again. Ar for crushing on me when married and me only finding out at the end by ar telling me we can't be friends anymore. Na for saying she loved me then later telling me she didn't after all. Ad for not really caring about me and throwing away promises over immature fears I'd be mad.

What can I be responsible for in this situation? In situation of W I was responsible for being clingy when it was clear w was not making much efforts to see me, to put effort into the friendship, and I could have decided I wanted fair friendships and let it end as the effort dried up. Ar my part was I still harbored a tiny crush and didn't need to have any hopes up of anyone liking me. I also feel i could have stood up for myself when Ar told me all this, if I'd wanted answers. I think Ar would have been kind and told me more if I'd asked. But I wasn't prioritizing myself. Na I think i did what I could right. I think if anything I was scared to be too vulnerable or to ask nq to be vulnerable and because of that I avoided us building much intimacy. I allowed myself to hold her at arms length so she only could feel that close or less. She couldn't love me anyway because I was showing mostly my good side or entertaining side. Not the side of me that's tired, frowns, wants to come and cry and be alone together, wants to bitch about someone im mad at. Wants to vent my past. Wants to ask for soup when I'm sick. And ad well. Ad is younger, can't fall in love. I did not need to treat a friendship so romantically in my head I did not need to believe I could trust any more than another casual friend. At the time I belieged gifts meant care. But again its actions that matter. Did they tell me their real feelings or was it like Whitney's because and diffuse the personal question. Did ad really write stories for me or help me with my stories much or just talk when it suited their interests. I clung to someone with similar hobbies and that's fine for a hobby friend. But i hoped something more emotionally intimate existed when I did not see such actions really. I just hoped gifts meant the same thing and got my hopes up.

In what ways can this experience help me to become a more mature person? I learned from W at a certain point I should let people go, I should expect equal treatment to me as I treat others, I should expect respect.

What lessons did I learn?

What good can come of this situation? A lot of good came from this situation, I'm no longer in an unhealthy relationship with W and no longer changing my life to be with her when our life goals were different.

What have I been unwilling to accept about this situation? I have been unwilling to accept that she said she loved me for years, while not treating me equally.

What can I now let go of so the situation is complete? I can let go of the need for answers or an apology. I understand we were both young. And I realize actions are clear and I always ignored her actions and clung to any little thing I could to try and keep us together. We might not even have become best friends if I hadn't clung so hard, shecalready had Chris. I might have fostered more better friendships and romantic relationships if I'd spent more time with people who put effort into our relationships. I forgive myself for clinging to something that didn't invest in me and care for me. I want her to be happy with what and who she wants. I want to let go and be happy with people who want me and choose me and show it with action. I forgive Whitney and release her from any debt or owing me. I put myself into that situation deeper for years. I was responsible in my own part. I forgive her.

Write a letter to someone you are ready to forgive. In the letter, write about the resentment you felt from the perspective of what you can be responsible for. How did you yourself create the situation? How did the situation help you to grow and mature? What lessons did you learn? What good came out of the situation? Declare the situation complete by stating your willingness to forgive this person and release them from the debt you’ve thought they’ve owed you

[animezinglife]

You’ll get to a point where you’re at peace with it, and I think there’s a difference between “what-ifs” or wistful longing versus still being in love with someone.

If we’re using “love” loosely and including childhood/teen years, I’m not at all in contact with my first and have no way of being--though after a fairly aggressive bout of curiosity, I did do some digging and discovered he’s now married. My second and I are still friends, and he’s happily married with two beautiful kids. He's wonderful. His wife is wonderful, and I'm genuinely happy they found each other.

My most recent...I’m less in contact with him than I used to be. Practically not at all anymore. We were always kind of teetering on that line anyway and he hadn’t fully healed from his previous breakup. They’re back together now, and that was the first time I’ve ever had to work through any real jealousy (something I’d never felt before--it's just not my nature). I didn’t treat him any differently (aside from just not flirting with him at all anymore) and didn’t really show it, but there was a point where I genuinely hated seeing her anywhere: on social media, TV, etc. Fortunately though, I was always rational enough to realize I wasn’t mad at him or her, just at the situation and that it was nobody’s fault.

I’m definitely not in love with him anymore if that’s what we’ll call it, and I’ve also realized that a lot of my internal emotional attachment had to do with everything else that was going on in my life rather than what our relationship actually was. I was in a horrible situation at the time, he was a friend to me, and mentally, I’d kind of clung onto him as the only light I could see at the end of the tunnel. That, obviously, was extremely unhealthy in retrospect and wasn't something I fully realized I was doing at the time.

He was one of the few I was around back then who I genuinely had a lot of beliefs/values in common with. He was intelligent and funny. He was devastatingly, unfairly good-looking and was very confident--that did a number in its own way. He was unapologetically forward, but in a way that didn't cross a line.

But now, I more clearly see why it wouldn't work. Yes, we had a great connection. We had fun together. I felt safe with him and he relaxed completely around me. Yet his goals and what he wants out of his life are too different than mine and he'll never want to live anywhere again but Big City Texas. He's not at all stupid, but frankly, he's too aggressive with his finances. Part of that is his profession, and the other part is simply his ambition.

No matter what our situation is, I always take a step back from guy friends when they enter relationships. I want to give them their space and for their girlfriends to understand I am just a friend and that that’s not going to change. As a result, I’ve gained some pretty awesome new gals in my life because they so quickly realize they can trust me (and him, obviously) and we usually have some things in common.

You’re not crazy for still thinking about your first love, though. I still think about my first crush sometimes and it’s been over fifteen years. Nine or ten with the second, with about seven since I've last seen him. I also clearly recognize that I don't know the first at all anymore and wouldn't have even recognized him had I not found that one, semi-recent picture. He's lived a life so incredibly different than mine anyway that aside from one or two small hobbies, we would likely have nothing in common. I can't even pretend to understand what he does for a living, nor would I ever be able to. I'm confident his wife is better equipped to handle the kind of lifestyle being with him would bring.

But here’s the gentle nudge towards closure I will offer: I also never communicated my feelings with either of them. You made your intentions clear, so if he didn’t step up to meet them, he’s also communicated his with you. I know when I cast the third one a "what-if" opportunity, he stayed where he was. It hurt at the time, but it told me what I needed to know. He faltered a little--we both did--but I'm glad he was able to stick to his decision. It ended up being the right choice for both.

You never know what may or may not happen in the future, so for now, peace and acceptance with where you both are now is a healthy goal.

Do I admittedly have some weird, irrational, lingering feelings for them? Absolutely, but I'm also fully at peace and able to move forward with where we are presently. I understand that a lot of those feelings pertain to the idea of them rather than who either is now or how if at all we would be together at the current point in our lives.

That gets easier in time and you simply don't dwell on it.

Your past loves--or even just people who were significant in your life--can be valuable learning opportunities. I know I have a much clearer sense of the kind of partner I need than I did before. I know myself better and am more in touch with my strengths in relationships and shortcomings.

However this ends up, you will grow from it. Do what you can to embrace that lesson whether or not it creates the result you're hoping for.

some of you guys probably had a first love, right? wether it's when you were a child or an adult. i wonder if you guys are actually still in contact with your first love or not. what's your relationship with them now? I had quite an experience with my first love.

i just wanted to rant about my first love. me and him relationship are definitely distant now. before we went to high school, we were really really close. we had mutual feelings for each other but guess that didn't last long when we entered high school. i was in love with him for 7 years. a crazy feat tbh. im honestly asking myself on the what if. what if i didn't confessed my feelings to him? what if i just stayed quiet? would me and him still be close as we once were? it's crazy how i rejected everyone who confessed to me because of him. maybe it's my fault? tbh i changed quite alot in my opinion ever since 2021. something happened that make me really quiet than i used too. well ever since i was a child i have always been like that anyway. maybe because of my tone? my dry tone? idk? even though me and him are distant now.. i just wish he didn't ignored me like i wasn't there. god really loved putting me near him, sitting near him, make me in the same group as him. literally if someone knew me and him relationship ppl would've thought that we're a couple who broke up and coincidentally became classmates. i hate august. august was the month i confessed to him. august was the month he started to ignore me and never making conversation with me. tbh, i knew he would like one of the girls in the class. they were very much more friendly than me. irl im definitely the least popular one. i don't stuck out that much. gawddamn... even though i told myself i have already moved on why do i still feel something aches when i saw him giving chocolates to a girl? seeing him being friendly with the other girls and talking to them more than me now make me uhhh idk hahaha make me jealous. it felt like the time where he always talk to me back in the day.

OK GOODBYE IM DONE TALKING ABOUT HIM. am i still in love with him or smth... idk?? sorry lololol

[neocatharsis]

NCT’s Taeyong Talks About His Drive As A Trainee, Goals For NCT And Himself As An Artist, And More

NCT’s Taeyong has participated in a solo photoshoot with W Korea!

In the accompanying interview, Taeyong spoke about writing the lyrics for “Beautiful,” the title track on NCT’s last full album “Universe.” He explained, “2021 was a year that made me realize ‘There are so many beautiful things around me.’ I realized that life could become happy and beautiful through even the smallest things and that there are countless ways to create that. Because of that, I wanted to tell people who are diligently moving forward towards their dreams, ‘With that alone, you can be proud!'”

He elaborated on his lyric writing process by sharing what he does when he gets stuck. “I ask for advice from people around me or listen to songs about situations similar to mine. I have thoughts like, ‘I’m in this kind of situation, but why is that?’ ‘Why do I feel this way?’ ‘What kind of experience led to this song?’ and ‘It’s similar to me…’ After a few days, I think of new things to write [as lyrics]. Also, when I’m showering or cleaning my room is when I’m able to organize my lyrics best.”

Despite being an incredible performer now, when Taeyong was a trainee, the teachers often did not know how to move forward with him because he was so unfamiliar with dance. Taeyong discussed his dedication to achieve success, sharing, “When I was in middle school, I told my parents that I wanted to go to an arts high school. That’s why my mom helped me start various hobbies. Among those, my favorites were basketball, art, and piano, and I enjoyed rapping with my friends. But I didn’t think that my hobbies would turn into dreams. After I entered the agency, I approached [training] with this mindset. ‘This is the only road for me.’ I think I felt a bit of euphoria that there were people who would enjoy and be happy when I worked hard at something.”

Taeyong continued, “Through thoughts of ‘I better not let those people down because they believe in me,’ I was able to practice more diligently and for longer. When I lose confidence, I seek out my friends. Once I meet up with people who listen to my concerns and show their support, I don’t go out of my way to compare myself to others and I naturally think of things I want to do. Honestly, I’m tone deaf and have no sense of rhythm. I still think I’m that way. Since I know what I lack, I think I have no choice but to continue working hard.”

Throughout various units of NCT, Taeyong was asked when he felt he experienced the most growth. Taeyong answered, “I remember a lot from my debut song ‘The 7th Sense‘ in 2016 to ‘BOSS‘ in 2018. The more I performed, the most clear my movements became and I was able to watch my growth in expression. Every moment I was on stage was so important and precious and I didn’t want to let anyone down. At the time, I worked excessively hard. But I think I am the way I am today because of that.”

Taeyong also compared and contrasted his two hobbies of drawing and making music. He shared, “There are a lot of times when I draw using the music I made as a theme. It’s fun to express the colors, shapes, and animals that I think of when listening to that song. Or I write phrases and draw graffiti-like cartoon characters which makes time fly by.”

Taeyong added, “If you say that making music expresses myself in a more specific manner, I think drawing has the same meaning to me as having a pet fish or cleaning. Also, dancing in the practice room after I’m done work or on a day off is the same as resting to me so I don’t think of it at all as work. In a way, I think I’m a lucky person whose current work coincides with what they want to do.”

Last September, NCT 127’s third studio album “Sticker” debuted on the Billboard 200 at No. 3 and has gone on to become the longest-charting K-pop album of 2021, with the record now at 17 consecutive weeks and counting. Ever since debuting on the Billboard 200 in 2018, NCT 127 has slowly but surely climbed their way to the top of the chart.

Taeyong touched on his goals moving forward, saying, “I always think, ‘I want to protect this team for a long time.’ Although I’m a leader who is lacking in different ways, along with my members, I want to show more things that only [NCT] 127 can do and with the potential that [NCT] 127 has, I want to create even more memories with fans. We’ve already achieved a lot and made happy memories of cool performances, but I want to continue improving and become a long-running team.”

In terms of what kind of artist Taeyong wants to become, he shared, “I want the songs and lyrics I write to become strength to others. As a trainee, after I figured out ‘I’m someone who feels happiness while giving other people happiness,’ I wanted to support others through the work that I’m best at. I enjoy creating performances and I also like moving [the emotions] of others. After continuously doing this work, someday I’d like to become a concert director or choreographer and live while helping and giving direction to artists who are working while thinking similar thoughts as me.”

Looking back on 2021, Taeyong chose moments where he thought to himself, “You did well.” He explained, “I started Instagram and made a SoundCloud. I liked gaining a new method of communication with fans. It feels like gaining another space to express myself. Through that passage, it feels like I’ve danced, sung, and rapped so… I think I did well.”!

© Soompi

[moldy-mold]

fall arrived sooner than we thought

How I’m doing... I feel like things are good now. Figured out a new weekly routine that combines a balance of work and enjoyment. I’m not gaming as much these days so I find more comfort in watching shows with my friends (though we live in different parts of the world). I look forward to that time every week.

Freelance illustration for weddings have seriously picked up though. I am pretty tired of doing it, but it only gets busy in short bursts so I feel like I can endure it until the holidays. Like usual, I will be taking a 2 week vacation doing nothing at home in FL for xmas. Very excited! I am terribly homesick and I miss my parents...

Kinda got into pizza. Like, I’m trying a different frozen pizza from the store every week just to compare them to restaurant pizza.

We had visitors... Some of my roommate’s friends from college came to visit. I wasn’t very close to them and I haven’t seen some of them since I graduated... So that’s like, 10 years ago? I thought it was going to be awkward but it turns out we had a lot more in common than before lol! Listen, card games unite people. One of them used to play YGO competitively (much respect) so we had a lot to talk about haha. One of the others likes R.Evil and S.Hill so there was even more for me to scream about! I think once I find mutual interests, the tension in my body disappears and I’m able to communicate like a normal person. We had a great time giving them the tour of ATL. It was nice to see the gardens again after several years.

Watched a number of films... October is usually our choice month for cinema. The spooky theme this year was gothic horror! The completed watch list: The Woman in Black (w/ Daniel Radcliffe) ◆◆◇ Crimson Peak (Tom Hiddleston) ◆◆◆ The Others (Nicole Kidman) ◆◆◆ 1408 (John Cusack, Samuel L Jackson) ◆◇◇ The House (stop-motion) ◆◆◇

My feelings about social media... I think it’s been long enough that I have successfully detached myself from it. My health improved greatly since I started limiting my time on twt. After some thought, I decided upon a new strategy in managing my platforms. Ironically, when I decide to come back is when everything catches on fire and people leave in droves. Typical clown behavior of mine.

Other than that, I’ve becoming less strict with my online persona (whatever that was) and I’m trying to comment more on people’s artwork. Let’s support each other!

The Plant Saga...

I finally got an orchid! That was on my wishlist for a long time, so I rescued “MOMO” from the dying plant sale section. It was $40 but I got it for $7. It’s my goal next year to get her to bloom again. It’s not complicated, but getting the right humidity levels might be challenging.

Last year, my mom gave me a Thai chili sprout that she grew from the seed of one of her own peppers. Weather permitting, my baby chili plant can finally grow some peppers of its own! Ultimately, I will be turning this plant into a bonchi (bonsai-chili) once it gets a bit larger. Turning plants into bonsai is my newly discovered hobby of the year lol.

I have some wildflower seeds that I started in the summer. I don’t know what’s in it. Just threw it in a pot to see what would survive. Hopefully I can get some blooms before the frost comes!

30 year old life goals... I stumbled upon a Jp vlogger one day and it changed me. Her videos are SO BEAUTIFUL! A lot of the time she’s just cleaning or cooking but it made me want to do it too... Also, I love her furniture so much! T_T They say that if you consistently expose yourself to people who you admire, they will naturally rub off on you. So I’m trying to watch all her videos while I’m working so I can absorb her vibes (and her furniture). 😂

Thanks for reading! Until we meet again...!

[marshmallowprotection]

hellooo, i’ve never tried this before but i would like to have a matchup as well \o/ i really like your blog and this is my first ask (also english is not my first language— so sorry if i make anything wrong

i’m an intp-t and my hobbies mainly include reading and playing games, i’m bisexual and use she/him pronouns!! i also have hardcore depression anxiety and adhd lmao :,) i’m unintentionally sarcastic which might come as rude to some, that’s ironic considering that most people see me as very trustworthy since i have a tendency to try to help everyone around me as much as i can. besides my two roommates i also have a cat who i love very much :,)

when i was younger i used to be more sociable and honest but through the years and after certain events i developed hard trust and commitment issues(which makes kinda hard for me to maintain a relationship but i’m trying my best!!); now that i’m older i’ve turned into someone very closed up, nowadays i pretty much have only two real friends(even if im invited to uni parties often help). im a medicine student and my main goal is to become a forensic psychiatrist in the future, tbh i had a golden child syndrome and seek academic validation constantly(talk about being a high achiever) lol this kinda makes it hard for me to let go of “control” of stuff and lowkey a workaholic, being stubborn as well is not a great addition. i’m pretty self conscious towards my looks and personality but try my best to not let it show, that comes from my family/“friends” from high school making fun of me bc of my freckles and many scars.

i can play the piano, speak 3 languages and have a waaay younger brother who i used to be a mother figure for, even if we lost contact after some time due to my complicated status with family. i can be very competitive and sort of a sore loser hahaha, however i really admire people that are better than me at something and try to learn with them(so i can surpass them /hj). even if i have a hard time relaxing i can be very outgoing with the ones that i trust(my only two besties lmao) almost becoming a whole different person, i love to make them laugh and make sure that they are healthy :))

welp, i don’t know what else to say but again i really like your blog and thank you for sticking around w the fandom <3

I match you with...

Jumin!

You're somebody that's gone through a lot of things through life but you don't let it bring you down. You know that there are things that have to be done and you don't hesitate to do them. You know that it's going to be for the better if you do what has to be done, even if it feels like you're overwhelmed. You have struggled and fought to be where you are in life and you know that tomorrow is going to be better than yesterday because all the hard work you're putting in now. Even if it's hard to see it on the surface, you want to believe that there is something good common next.

That's why somebody like you goes perfectly with Jumin. You both share a lot of the same issues but you deal with it in different ways these different ways are confounding and confusing to the other but that does not mean that you are not able to make a lasting bond out of it. It's simply means that you get to see that there's another side to the way that you deal with your emotions and that if you allow yourself to trust in others, you can feel a lot better. The two of you together are able to work through so much and you're for the better for it. Not just for your relationship but for your personal strength. Since you're going to be butting heads, it means that you challenge each other in a way that opens up the door to grow.

[ginkgomoon]

Shaw's Birth Chart- An Astrological Study

Late second birthday gift to Shaw. I haven't done any heavy analyses/studies in a while but I felt happy that I also completed some good solid Shaw content! Please enjoy. *Cries because it's finally done and before June is over.*

What is Astrology?

Astrology is the study of stars- the placements and movements of different celestial bodies to correlate what’s happening on Earth. It comes from the early Latin word astrologia.

There’s a rule that we live by-

As above so below

This means whatever happens within our solar system will ultimately affect us here on Earth. For example, the moon governs our emotions, and since our body is approximately 70% water, why wouldn’t the moon affect us too? But it’s not just us, it's the moon’s gravitational pull on the oceans, in the same sense, it’s also the moodiness you may feel during full moons!

There’s many aspects to Astrology, and that would normally be too much for a single post so I’ll be elaborating on the major contributions to one’s birth chart. This will include the planets and the signs.

There’s the inner planets, consisting of the Sun, Moon, Mercury, Mars and Venus, moving quickly within the chart. Then there’s the outer planets, Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune, Uranus and Pluto, the slower moving planets. And of course, the different signs of the zodiac with different personalities. They follow the order beginning with Aries, then Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius and finally Pisces.

Shaw's Placements

Sun ☉ The Sun represents our character, personal identity and ego. Your star sign is also known as your Sun sign. It is the “you”. The “Self”. It shows your creative force, confidence, focus and our will to live. It’s the driving force of our charts in many ways, like how it is centred in our solar system. It’s the part of us that is the “adult”, censoring the “inner child”, and overall provides information on our vitality, and what we came to do.

Shaw's Sun is in Gemini ♊︎ The air sign of Gemini is famous for their self-expression and communication. Geminis are witty, clever and flexible people. They can easily gain social contacts just as they can easily adapt in various situations and communicate through intellectual conversations. Geminis love to collect and share all sorts of information and are rather seen to be “geniuses”.

Although, they can be easily bored if they’re not getting enough mental stimulation. Geminis with their abilities to detach themselves make them excellent observers, but this can make them very difficult to be close to and be intimate with. People note them to be confusing and hard to understand, but this is because their mind is always active and switching from one topic to another (as they are represented by “the Twins”). Geminis enjoy seeing the “lighter” side of life, making them more fun and pleasing to be around. It’s guaranteed that there is never a dull moment when you’re with a Gemini!

Shaw holds a good representation as a Gemini. He always has a witty remark to say to MC, has a way with words, is shown by how he reacts to “fight or flight” situations, and stresses the usage of his favourite word, “bored”. Shaw, by having this placement of the Sun in Gemini also gives much strength to his Mercury (the planet of communication) which is also in Gemini (more on this later).

Shaw: “What do people usually do during dates?”

MC: “Uh, it’s usually eating, shopping and watching movies.”

Shaw: “That’s too boring, isn’t it? Since it’s a date with you, I’d like to get your feedback. What would you like to do?”

MC: “Nothing else.”

Shaw: “Then, what do you want to do?”

He thought for a couple of seconds and raised his eyebrows slowly, with a hint of glimmer of dark light in his eyes.

“You'll agree to anything that I do…?” -One Day Date

MC: “Why did you suddenly take an interest in reading?”

Shaw: “For the final exam.”

Despite his concentration, he flipped the pages with incredible speed- it seemed as if he didn't like what he read. -Summer Night Birthday Date

Shaw values all forms of communication and self-expression, whether it would be through music, writing, and teaching others about ancient relics. Additionally, it appears that he enjoys a range of hobbies, such as playing the bass, skateboarding and spray-painting, due to his interest in the wide variety of passions he developed. MC notices this on one of her earliest dates with him.

MC: “Hey, you seem to have a wide range of hobbies.” -One Day Date

Moon ☾ The Moon in our charts shows what your home is like, your upbringing, the relationship between your mother, the unconscious, your instincts and what you need. It tells us a lot about a person’s emotions, how they deal with it and how they express it to others.

Shaw's Moon is in Capricorn ♑︎ Productivity, work, and feeling useful and respected are the basic need for Lunar Caps. They like to keep their emotions in check, as they want to maintain being the cool-headed, practical and steady person of any group and in any project. Moon in Capricorn suggests that they have clear boundaries and realistic kinds of goals, looking for reassurance and security in what they do. They value and respect tradition and all things tangible and real. Moon Caps look forward to working towards their distant future goals, planning one step at a time. When feeling moody, their emotions will emphasise the pressure they had already put on themselves. Additionally, this is why letting their guard down to be comforted and to be reminded that they are not alone is very beneficial. Capricorns are unwilling to stand down, especially when it comes to emotionally “letting go”, hiding their sensitivity under a sarcastic manner. Wherever Capricorn is found in the chart, there is a desire for control, structure, and organisation. Emotions are well dealt with and handled in an efficient and practical manner.

There is a certain mysteriousness and sadness behind Shaw that can be subtly detected and yet to further explore deeply. This might have come from past trauma, possibly related to family relations. He has realistic expectations and justifications for his emotions, and when it comes to his goals, he will utilise these to help him slowly achieve them. Shaw is slowly letting his guard around MC, and gradually allowing him to love.

MC: “How can you draw so well?” I murmured quietly, envying his skills which require much talent.

Shaw: “Is it good? In a few months, it will fade into obscure and worthless trash."

He glanced at the wall with an undisguised contempt, as if it was not his own work that he was judging.

“It’s a failure.” He shook a spray can and started spraying it on the wall.

MC: “Wait! Why are you doing this?”

Shaw did not avert his eyes, and stood with his arms folded, refusing to give in.

Shaw: “But it's flawed now.” -One-Day Date

After a few seconds of silence, he frowned and put everything in his arms back on the table except for a can of coke. “Don’t act like you know me so well.” -Exciting Moments Date

Perhaps it was because I didn't believe that Shaw would appear so calm or so still, or because I wanted to explore why he looked so focused, I also looked at him in silence.

Shaw: “You really like to immerse yourself in your past.”

MC: “Find strength through the memories, then grow and become stronger.” I suddenly recalled a line from a TV series, and read it out.

A flicker of doubt flashed through his eyes, and eventually condensed into a dismissive look.

Shaw: “Who told you that we can only become stronger with memories?”

MC: “Why are you so dismissive?”

Speaking of which, what made Shaw so strong if it’s not finding strength from his “memory” or “past”?

Shaw: Why are you telling me this? Reminiscing every day means you’re getting old.”

-

Rain started to shower from the gloomy sky. I looked up, and found that the dark clouds were only above this small area of filming location. It was actually very sunny over at the antique market.

Fortunately, the rain was not heavy, and was even getting lighter as he predicted. He pulled at his hair, shaking off the scattering beads of rain. Such serenity did not match my impression of him, yet it was unexpectedly harmonious and natural.

MC: “Are you the rain god? Why does it always rain when I'm out with you?”

Shaw: “It’s because I can control the weather.”

At this point, the rain, which had stopped just a short while, suddenly fell again, but more densely. The smirk on his face was not gone yet. The rain seemed to be getting heavier. I felt more saddened as he spoke, yet Shaw just laughed. -Seeking Date

As a Capricorn Moon, his value and respect for tradition, and in all things tangible is very much obvious, and is highlighted with his display of knowledge about historic relics in Loveland’s museum shown in various dates, being the only student in the Department of Archeology of in Loveland University, as well in this scene from Season 2 that I couldn’t bear to leave out.

Mercury ☿ Mercury is the communication planet. When you write, speak, absorb information and how rational we are, you’re using your Mercury. It refines our Sun sign and helps define how we take in and give out information. It also talks about short distance travelling, governing your thirst for knowledge, your wit and negotiating skills. If someone is an excellent talker, it’s thanks to their Mercury placements.

Shaw's Mercury in Gemini ♊︎ Since Mercury is already ruled by Gemini, which makes it a favourable placement for quick-witted communication. Gemini Mercury placements may come across as being scattered and restless, but this is because of their different interests, seemingly knowing a little bit about everything. They easily gain knowledge where all sorts of facts and figures are up their alley, however generally have too many interests to deeply delve all into one. They can thrive in a stimulating environment as they are fast adapters who effortlessly learn and multitask at lightning speed.

This overlaps with Shaw’s Gemini Sun Placement. He may confuse MC sometimes with his personality and wit, but it’s nice to see MC adapt to it as well, because they have a lot to learn and grow from each other. He encourages MC to live life more boldly, while she teaches him to take things slower and be more aware of how his emotions and thoughts should work in harmony under special circumstances.

“He has no problem with the noise from rehearsals, and yet he can't stop criticising me for being noisy. He gets easily bored by things and yet he never gets tired on aimless strolls. Moreover, he always disagrees with me…” -Exciting Moment Date

MC: “Are you doing something illegal?”

Shaw: “What do you think?” Shaw looked at me playfully, and I could not help taking a step back vigilantly.

MC: “I'm a good law-abiding citizen and I won't be your accomplice!”

Shaw: “That's not up to you.”

-

MC: “Oh no! What should we do, what if we get caught!”

Shaw: “Nothing. Having a date at the police station should be a good experience.” -One-Day Date

Additionally, those reoccurring moments when he says that he had changed his mind also stems from the “twinning” aspect of Gemini in his thought process.

Shaw: “Give the cake and forks to me.”

MC: “Didn’t you say you didn’t want it?”

Shaw: “I changed my mind.” -Exciting Moments Date

Venus ♀︎ The planet Venus is ultimately the planet of love, beauty, wealth, our material things and what we do with all that sort of jazz. It’s the pleasures, our sentiments, what we do for leisure and what we value. Grace, charm, creativity, and entertainment are ruled by Venus. We can use this planet to see how we approach relationships of the heart, investigate our ability to attract and the attraction to others (or things).

Shaw's Venus is in Cancer ♋︎ These kinds of people are quite sensitive and insecure when it comes to love, with egos perhaps said to be a little bit undeveloped but have so much love, comfort, security, and care to offer. These aspects are emphasised for Cancers, who pay more attention to your feelings rather than said words. All they want is a safe, solid and secure relationship. They can be moody when it comes to love, though they are not afraid of emotional confrontations and to put their emotions on display when feeling it’s safe.

But once they are hurt, they will have a hard time forgiving. Pleasing them will involve a lot of sentimentality, as recognising their influences and attachments are from the family and home. When fearful of being rejected, they can resort to some frustrating tactics to find out how loved they are. Venus Cancers will want to be cared for, and in return their partner will be rewarded with a loving, dependable and patient lover.

Shaw puts up a front with his teasing and seemingly lack of interest to attend events with MC, though we can tell that he’s a very thoughtful and intuitive lover. Once he has allowed himself to internally address his feelings, he will use straightforward methods in how he communicates it to MC, again, strengthened by his Gemini placements. Additionally, Cancers will cling onto something or someone that is of value to them, because it evokes memories and emotions. In the same sense, if there is someone that Shaw has his eye on, he will inch closer to them, and will be unwilling to give them up once he has them.

I tried to reach out and pull him down while watching out for him, but he just took me by surprise and grabbed my hand instead. I quickly pressed down my skirt with the other hand. Probably realising something, his amber eyes widened slightly, then let go of me, with a low “tsk”. -Seeking Date

Shaw: “Why can’t you let that go?”

MC: Because I'm sick of you treating me like this. One time, you waited for me to get to the Live House to tell me that there was a change in venue, and there was also this one time when you- achoo!”

I pulled my jacket tighter around myself. Suddenly there was a rustle above my head and I found myself covered in a warm coat. Shaw stood up without a word as if he didn't hear me. Clad in a white shirt, he looked at once familiar and strange from behind.

Then I noticed his hand in the pocket. I was expecting him to conjure something for me like he did last time with the Dragonfly Eye. Before I could react, Shaw suddenly grabbed me by hand. With no gloves on, he tightly wrapped his slender fingers around my palm. I felt an unexpectedly soft and warm sensation.

MC: “Let go of me!”

Shaw: “No, I don’t want to.”

-

Shaw: “You've been asking questions about me all day. Do you really want to get to know me? Bring your ear closer. I can tell you all about myself.”

-Exciting Moments Date

His hand flew past my face and landed on the back of my head. With a slight jerk, he pulled me toward him. Our foreheads were then pressed together, and I felt the warmth of his forehead resting on mine, my breath on my skin, his unintentional touch, and his body pressed against mine. -Summer Night Birthday Date

“Do you like me? Yes or no?” -Unanswered Phone Call

Mars ♂︎ Mars is the go-getter planet. Full of fire and passion, nothing would be done without it. It can give insights on how we can chase our goals and what our desires and our plans of attack are. Aggressive behaviour, lust and anger fall under this planet.

Shaw's Mars is in Libra ♎︎ Mars Libras often reflect about the things they do before they act, needing to weigh out all the decisions first. They also can get easily caught up in defending themselves and others, as well as charming others to win others’ favour if needed. They wish to not be disturbed in their life or how they “operate”, going about with the desire to balance everything, with almost having a seemingly passive-aggressive approach to situations. Mars Libras know when to compromise and manage conflict, as well as predicting problems and discord well in advance. Libras will question themselves on how they can make the playing field more fair, intervening when necessary and when things aren’t. Shaw demonstrates this during his bus stop intervention when he first meets MC, on his dates with her, as well as his confrontation with Gavin.

“Don’t hesitate if you have already thought it through.”

-

MC: “What’s the matter?”

Shaw shrugged, lifted the corner of his lip, and looked at me, saying this firmly word by word.

Shaw: “Don’t forget that this is our punishment. Be a good loser.” -One-Day Date

“What are you laughing at? Stop it.” he reached out his hand, trying to mess up my hair. I quickly dodged backward and started laughing harder.

“Hey.”

A stunned look flashed Shaw’s eyes. Before he finished his sentence, I slipped and fell heavily backwards. He looked at me before a hint of schadenfreude appeared in his eyes. Then he said in a raised tone, “that's what you get for laughing too hard.”

He then sat down with me. I turned to him in confusion.

MC: “Why did you sit down when you’re supposed to help me up?”

Shaw: “Because I wanted to.” -Exciting Moments Date

Brutal gales whipped up gravel and rocked trees. A bolt of lightning split the sly, illuminating the two people locked in a standoff.

Gavin’s face was completely devoid of its former calm, and in its place was wrath. The man opposite Gavin squinted his eyes ever so slightly. He went wild with laughter, and an arrogant expression swept back over his face.

Shaw: “Well, we’re finally starting to get serious. It’s about time.”

Gavin: “I warned you! She’s off-limits.”

Shaw: “Are you threatening me?”

Gavin: “You aren’t worthy.”

The man lifted his eyebrow and slowed his speech purposefully.

Shaw: “Anyway, my objective has been reached. I don’t mind toying with you. But I don't know how long this girl you’re obsessed with has long to live...”

The two fought with increasing ferocity. The man was slowly losing ground. Then, the sky roared, and a white flame connected heaven and earth. The man was gone without a trace. -Chapter 11-24

Jupiter ♃ Jupiter is the largest planet, a gas giant, known to expand as the “benefactor” of our solar system. Everything it touches is basically blessed. It’s the good luck, confidence, joy, freedom and adventure that it gives to one’s being that it’s so well known for. Jupiter is where you seize your opportunities, take a leap of faith and count your blessings.

Shaw’s Jupiter is in Aquarius ♒︎ Shaw attracts the most good fortune when he’s tolerant and fair, cooperative and inventive, being different from society’s norms and standards. He values technology, people and personal freedom the most, desiring to display his unique skills and talents. He is open to new methods and eccentric ways to progress. We see this as he’s willing to share his knowledge with others, shown in the CN Creative Date and Summer Solstice Date, and when Shaw offers a hand to help MC by making her alias “Mary Sue” to help her successfully break into STF in later chapters. He also shows her the electricity firework he makes with his Evol, which fascinates MC enough for her to reach out and touch it.

I looked at Shaw's on the other side of the wall. The flaunting design was imposing, as if it was about to jump out at me the next second. Then I looked at my grinning rabbit, which seemed to be the clumsy work of a child.

-

In the gold and purple pattern, “SHAW” could be faintly recognised while a grinning rabbit stood at the top of the world. They actually seemed… quite in harmony? -One-Day Date

MC: “Is that the same MP4 player you had on the bus?”

Shaw: “Yes, someone gifted it to me a long time ago.” Emboldened by his straightforwardness, I couldn't help but move slower. -Exciting Moments Date

Floating on his palm was a sizzling firework giving off dazzling sparks. I was stunned by the sight. I couldn’t believe that Evol could do that. I reached out to touch it, but Shaw stopped me.

“Are you out of your mind? It’s charged with electricity.” -Summer Night Birthday Date

Saturn ♄ Saturn is the planet of karma, restrictions, life lessons, hard facts and the challenges in life. It governs structure, our fears, work and self-discipline. Saturn is cold and calculating, however once the challenges and lessons Saturn have been mastered, great wisdom with great rewards can be obtained.

Shaw's Saturn is in Aries ♈︎ Aries Saturns are highly resourceful coming up with fresh ideas for our goals. They don’t like showing weakness and need to be careful when limiting themselves due to fear of failure or making a poor decision. They’re very self- reliant because they rarely ask for help. They need to be shown that not “being first” is okay.

It’s proven that Shaw has a competitive side to him, seen in the CN Summer Solstice Date and his Rumours and Secrets, where Shaw refuses to give up and ends up doing dolphin flips on his skateboard in a match against a senior and wins after his first loss. In Accompanying Date, he acknowledges his embarrassing moments when he got caught skipping class, then reflects on them. We also see this as he flees his battle with Gavin when he almost loses.

Shaw: "I just remember winning. Don’t people at ten years old want to get swept away, win against everyone, and leave them far behind?" -CN Summer Solstice Date

Shaw: "The fence of the school was disagreed with by the elementary students. Back then, my skills weren’t refined yet. I got discovered by a teacher when I fell from it." While reminiscing, Shaw pouts unhappily. -CN Accompanying Date

The two fought with increasing ferocity. The man was slowly losing ground. Then, the sky roared, and a white flame connected heaven and earth. The man was gone without a trace. -Chapter 11-24

Uranus ♅ Wherever Uranus is in the chart, it’s where we want to break free, where we want to do things our own way, when you don’t care what everyone else is doing or thinking about. It’s where we express our ideals on freedom, innovation and experience great epiphanies. We strive for independence with the influence of the Uranus character. As a result, we learn to rebel, break traditions and authority. It shakes things up from our past and into the modern future. It is often associated with unpredictability, chaos and anarchy.

Shaw's Uranus is in Aquarius ♒︎ These people are interested in innovating, changing and updating traditions related to technology, community and individuality. They see freedom through or in these areas, and are ready to rebel if needed. Aquarius Uranus people are open to new ideas and free thought.

Shaw is no stranger to the concept of rebellion. He sneaks into places he shouldn’t be in, spray-paints graffiti, and helps MC access top-secret information in STF. His comments on history further outlines the unique outlook that he challenges with traditional views.

I looked around nervously, remembering that last time, we were chased by city police for street graffiti.

Shaw: “Don’t you want to come? Hurry up.”

MC: “Do you just do anything you like? Do you abide by no rules?” -One-Day Date

Shaw: “What do you think history is?” Student: Those historical relics you told us about just then!”

- Student: “If everything is history, how does one learn it?” Shaw: “There’s no need for an intention. It’s everywhere.” -CN Summer Solstice Date

Neptune ♆ Neptune is the inspirational planet of dreams, inspirations, soulmates, enlightenment and sacrifice. It’s all about connection with the universe and the world around you, however can have the polar effect of deception and illusion, along with disappearances of sorts. It can also govern your music tastes and influence on how you can inspire others.

Shaw’s Neptune is in Capricorn ♑︎ With this placement, his idealistic world will be based around realism, morality, and responsibility. He has to believe in the ground foundations of realisability of his dreams- enough so that it usually has a realistic thread about them. General optimism and faith will be lacking if he’s not doing something that he is passionate about and finds inspiration in. However, he has the capacity to change his practical dreams into reality the most. His influences and contributions come from his connection with Dark/MC, again with Mars in Libra, and is seen as a guide and spectator, though less passive than a Time Observer. It’s also clear that Shaw cares a lot for his music and his band. He even recognises a plagiarised song in one of his Rumours and Secrets.

“Playing with the band is just a hobby, so Shaw rarely creates something from scratch. He must have hidden things he wanted to say in his music, but never mentioned it to anyone.” -Summer Night birthday Date

Shaw: "No wonder these people didn’t realise it, they copied an unpopular song from the 80s. You should also improve your musical literacy so you wouldn’t be confused by these things." -CN Glacier Navigation Rumours and Secrets

My phone started buzzing in my outer coat pocket. I took it out and saw an unfamiliar number. A few moments of hesitation, I answered it. An unfamiliar voice came from the other end.

“Long time, no see. I’m sure you’re trying to guess who I am right now.” There was something in his voice that gave me a sense of déjà vu.

MC: “May I ask, what this is about?”

“I can’t just call you for no reason? Everyone has already forgotten you. You are officially someone who shouldn’t exist in this world.

MC: “Impossible! Just who are you, anyway?”

“Go see for yourself. For instance, at the place where it all started.” -Chapter 19-1

Outside the floor to ceiling window, a tall man with light purple hair was looking at me in the eye, an unmistakable smile on his lips. Who is this person? He waved at me and strove in the diner.

“Oh, here you are.” He greeted me with such familiarity, a few loose strands of hair fell over his forehead, softening his sharp eyes. His actions were swift and sure, giving me no time to interrupt. His face seemed so familiar but I can’t remember where I’ve seen it before.

MC: “Who are you?”

Hearing this, the young man’s brow raised, and the look of amusement flashed over his eyes.

“You don’t remember? You bumped my skateboard.”

MC: “Oh! We met on the bus. But how is it that you remember me?”

He didn’t answer me straight away. He just observed my expression with great interest, seemingly enjoying watching my reaction.

“I’m the one who called you. It’s me. The dream world has no effect on me.”

Pluto ♇ Pluto is the Lord of the Underworld, and is not to be messed around with. It’s responsible for great destructible transformations and corresponds to the life, death and rebirth cycle. It’s the detoxing planet, for you to awaken and be reborn. It shows us where we can change the world, alongside right where we can go into the abyss of the cunning and controlling energies of Pluto. Its powers can be ever so subtle, however it can have the forces to trash you with the realisations of what you need to let go in order to transform. Think of it as the “healing crisis” moments that you can thank Pluto for.

Shaw's Pluto is in Sagittarius ♐︎ They take beliefs and philosophy of life very seriously, more than most. They believe deeply in personal freedom and expression, questioning ideologies in place. They often watch for a tendency to move from one project to another, perhaps due to inhuman expectations. They are motivated and driven by the vision of a better world, therefore their faith in humanity is strong.

Shaw helps MC multiple times when she is in need, additionally supporting her beliefs and vision to save the world and everyone in it, like when she first entered the Winter World and helped her rescue the kidnapped children against her battle with Leto in the Chapter 34. He even gives her his necklace- the Dragonfly Eye in the end of Season 1 and wishes her well once they meet again.

Shaw: “Oh yeah, the other you is really funny. Today, she saved someone on the street. Did you use to do stuff like that too?”

Dark MC: “I’m not like her. I don’t do meaningless things like that. Stick to the plan.”

Shaw: “Oh? I’d thought you’d like this scene. What are you planning to do, anyway?”

Dark MC: “Why of course, I’m going to accept my place as QUEEN.” -Behind the Curtain Chapter 5

MC: “Shaw, what are you doing here? Where’s Leto?”

Another thunder flashes, Shaw’s face was reflected clearly and I saw him lift his eyebrow slightly.

Shaw: “You are so slow. Did you bring the notebook? Keep it and give it to me later.”

MC: “You haven’t answered why you are here.”

Shaw: “And I thought you were starting to get smarter. None of us can stay out of it now. If I don’t intervene, this world is finished.”

I would love to see more about Shaw’s background character and his upbringing as to why he had appeared a bit defensive in some dates. Poor Shaw :( Hopefully this study allowed you all to gain a deeper understanding of Shaw and his character, and to why he’s important in the main storyline and other events alike.