#now i have other hobbies and goals and other things to do w my life!!

[witheringscreations]

wanted to post so much more this month bc i've been busy the past year and haven't posted often but then i got slammed so uh hopefully that changes after the holidays and i can ring in the new year w some recolors for y'all

[celestie0]

gojo satoru x reader | fake marriage au [18+]

in holy matriphony ch5. child's play

ᰔ pairing. fake marriage au - neighbor&realtor!gojo x nurse!reader (ft. choso x reader & suguru x reader)

ᰔ summary. gojo satoru is your extremely annoying next-door-neighbor who you're pretty sure is the most insufferable man you've ever met. given the fact that you exclusively work the night shift at a chaotic emergency dept, just got broken up with your boyfriend of seven years, and have been taking care of your sick mother ever since her multitude of diagnoses, yet somehow your neighbor is the main source of stress in your life should speak volumes. but when your mother's medical bills start to skyrocket to more than you can manage, and you learn that said neighbor of yours has the best private health insurance plan in the country, you ask him to enter a matrimonial agreement with you for the spousal benefits all in the name of saving a few hundred thousand dollars. but you'll have to see if suffering cohabitation w him is worth any amount of money.

ᰔ genre/tags. fluff, smut, angst, enemies to lovers (sort of), annoyances to lovers (that's more like it), small town romance, fake marriage, next door neighbors, lots of bickering, suburban shenanigans, slow burn, mutual pining, gojo likes to play house but you don't, hatred for the american healthcare system, gojo always forgets to mow the lawn, jealousy, an insane amount of profanity, mentions of cigarettes, depression/anxiety; btw gojo in this fic is in his mid 30s n reader is in her late 20s

ᰔ warnings. reader in this fic has a sick mother w alzheimer's & cancer so there is secondary medical angst!!

ᰔ chapter. 5/x

ᰔ words. 4.8k

a/n. helloo my ihm friends! long time no see. hope you're all doing well and thank you so much to everyone who sent me kind messages about the whole ihm gojo ex wife thing haha. i really appreciate it :) i feel more confident about my writing decisions now, and that's all thanks to you guys! anyways, i will be posting shorter chapters for ihm going forward, so sorry if some chapters have slightly abrupt endings or stuff like that. i guess my goal is to post shorter chapters but more frequently! we'll see how it works out. anyways, hope you enjoy this chapter and see you at the bottom!!

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Ever since admitting your mother into hospice, things have been calmer inside your mind. After passing the initial wave of agony that came with no longer hearing her voice down the hall or seeing her silhouette in her bedroom as you walked past it, you realized that…a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. No longer setting alarms at the height of every other hour to remind your mother to take her medication, no longer viewing every interaction you had with her as some form of study you needed to jot down in a binder for her neurologist’s records, and no longer driving her to all of her chemotherapy appointments, only to leave them feeling like you purposefully just took your mother to a place where they sucked all the life out of her in exchange for the slim promise of giving it all back to her someday.

Maybe it was evident in the way your shoulders felt less tense as you rolled them back, tilting your neck to the side and no longer feeling the painful strain that tugs a wince onto your face. The other day, you caught yourself humming a song as you drove to work. Your skin, usually feeling cracked and dry from stress and exhaustion, now has a slight plumpness to it like before. A more youthful glow, like the version of yourself you were before your mother became sick. The version of you that so quickly deteriorated, and one you didn’t even know still existed somewhere within you. 

There has also been time for hobbies. Rarest of occasions, you find yourself sauteing some yellow and white peaches in a saucepan over medium heat in Gojo’s kitchen, humming that song once again that’s been stuck in your head. The sundress you’re wearing matches the pink of the syrup that pools at the bottom of the pan, and you feel like you’re living your cottage core dreams in this brief moment of reprieve you’ve allowed yourself to fall into.

The sound of slippers tapping down onto the hardwood floor startles you out of your gleeful trance, and you turn your neck to the right to see a pajama-clad messy-haired Gojo shuffling his feet across the open area into the kitchen with a dark black mug in his hand.

“Why aren’t you dressed??” you ask him in a panic.

“I’ll get dressed later,” he tells you dismissively as he grabs the glass pitcher of coffee from where the coffee machine was nestled up against one of the counter corners.

“You’re stressing me out. Your mom told us to be there in two hours,” you say, putting your hands on your hips in disapproval as you hear the sizzle of the peaches in the saucepan. 

He entirely ignores you, choosing to instead drag his gaze down the form of your body. “Woooow, twice this month I get to see you in a cute dress,” he comments, pouring coffee into his mug but his eyes are still on you, “lucky me.”

“Oh Shut. Up,” you sneer at him with a harsh roll of your eyes, “your fake flattery might work on the lonely middle-aged women you seduce to make a living, but it won’t work on me.”

His shoulders push back before he slumps them slightly, his brow lifting with confusion. “It’s not fake though? I mean it. You look really nice right now.”

You point an accusatory sugar-syrup coated wooden spatula at him. “You’ve just been conditioned by the patriarchy to get a boner at the sight of a woman in a kitchen.”

“What–...no–...why do you always have to say stuff like that whenever I compliment you? Can’t you just accept it?”

You cross your arms over your chest. “I refuse to be flattered by an insolent man like you.”

He sighs, setting his coffee mug down on the counter, and you watch the way the fringe of his hair hangs over his forehead as he gazes into the contents, swirling it around with a loose grip on the handle. “Is this how it’s going to be everyday? I try to be nice, and you–...well, you know, are you.”

“Well who else should I be?”

His eyes lift up to meet yours, the slightest of a cheeky grin on his face as his eyes wander down the form of you again. “I don’t know. Someone a little…softer? Like, you’ve got this really pretty dress on, and then you’re telling me off about patriarchy-induced boners. It’s a little, uh, contradictory?”

You gasp. “You’re trying to control me. I knew it. You are poisoned by the patriarchy.”

“What?”

Your eyes narrow at him. “You have this image of a perfect and cute little wife, who’s gonna wear pretty dresses all the time, and bake stuff in the kitchen, and get all blushy when you tell her she looks beautiful, and you expect her to have this soft little personality that never argues with you or disagrees with you…ALL BECAUSE OF THE PATRIARCHY!!!”

“...I–...Okay, you’ve lost me.”

You let out a hmph! noise. “Can’t even discern his own brainwashing. Sad.”

“All of this just because I tried to tell you that you look nice?”

“I know what your ulterior motives are, you creep.”

His eyes spark a little at that, the corner of his mouth tugging up into a cheeky grin as he sets the coffee mug down onto the marble counter and he straightens his spine. You blink, watching with confusion as he crosses the distance between the two of you, to where you’re taking a small few steps backwards until your lower back presses against the edge of the island countertop. He cages you into the surface with his frame, followed by the palms of his hands sliding over the marble on both sides of you, and you feel his forearms press against the curve of your waist as he traps you in with no way out.

“S-Satoru,” you stutter, looking up at him with wide eyes, “what are you doing?”

“What do you think I’m doing?” he says, his voice deeper with a nonchalance that has you shiver, his gaze dropping to your lips when you part them slightly.

“T-The patriar–” you squeak out, but he suddenly dips his head down to kiss you.

Your breath hitches in your throat, eyes immediately closing when he moves his lips against yours, one of his strong arms wrapping around your waist to pull you closer to him and your hesitation is something that only lasts a brief second before you find yourself kissing him back. Some noise leaves his throat, deep and raw and sounding pleasantly surprised as he captures your lips more fervidly now, his hands smoothing down to hold your hips and his teeth slightly nip at your bottom lip. 

You grab a fistful of his shirt, unsure of whether you want to pull him closer to you or push him away, but the moan that you mumble against his lips only makes his grip on your hips even stronger, fingers digging into the softness through the thin fabric of your dress. 

The oven suddenly starts beeping, startling you and you pull away from the kiss with a gasp, eyes rounded as you look up at him, but his are lidded and dilated as his gaze remains glued to your lips. 

With a heaving chest, you try to push him away by a weak fist to his sternum but he’s unrelenting.

“You taste sweet,” he says, like some comment he noted in his head but accidentally voiced out loud.

“I–...” you inhale sharply, “I just ate three macerated peaches.”

“Uh-huh,” he barely acknowledges before leaning in to get another taste, but you push him away harsher this time.

His hands let go of your hips entirely, finally breaking out of that kiss-induced trance he was in, but he still remains close to you in proximity, so much so to where you can feel the heat from his body. It’s comforting almost, radiating through the soft cotton of his long sleeve shirt, and you find yourself subconsciously leaning towards him before you snap out of it too, and rock your weight back against the island countertop.

You cross your arms over your chest, hoping the flush to your cheeks isn’t showing. “Oh okay so we just casually kiss now?”

He shoves his hands into his plaid pajama pant pockets, leaning away from you slightly. “For as long as I can get away with it, yeah.”

“You are breaking the rules.”

“You never said no kissing.”

“I said no touching.”

“Ehhh kissing isn’t really touching, though, is it?”

“You sound stupid.”

“I always sound stupid to you.”

The oven starts beeping again, and you realize it’s long been preheated to the setting you had placed earlier. You slip away from him with haste, feeling his gaze on you as you press a button on the oven to turn the alarm off, and you stare at the handle for a moment or two to calm the beating of your heart down. 

Your eyes catch sight of something on the side of the fridge. A little magnet made of rubber that has the word London on it as well as the design of the Westminster Cathedral with golden accents. You recall that Gojo went on a trip to London recently, and that he didn’t bring you back any souvenirs from there like he did for your other neighbors. And you want to pretend, you want to shove it down, that incessantly childish feeling that wonders why he didn’t bring you anything back. You want to continue to pretend like it doesn’t hurt your feelings. Something so miniscule and small. But you–...well, you can’t.

You spin around to face him. “Do you hate me?” you bluntly ask.

He blinks at you. “Huh?”

“Do you, what, I don’t know, think I’m annoying or something?”

He shrugs with his hands still in his pockets. “I mean, yeah, I do think you’re annoying sometimes. But in a silly way. Like we’re just pals horsin’ around, y’know?”

You snarl at him, putting your hands on your hips and narrowing your gaze until he’s hardly even visible anymore. “No. I actually find you annoying. Like, wanna-run-you-over-with-a-bus annoying. You just have horrendous social awareness and think that everyone loves you.”

“You actually don’t like me?” he asks, like he can’t even believe that someone wouldn’t.

“Yes,” you say, “now get out of my way.” You make an attempt to push past him, purposefully knocking your shoulder into him to assert dominance but he is unfortunately much bigger than you and so all it does is make you stumble ungracefully from the recoil.

He quickly grabs your arm to steady you, and you glare up at him before yanking yourself away and then step backwards until your back hits the fridge.

He studies your demeanor for a second before taking a deep inhale, and then lets it all go in a heaving sigh. “What do I have to do to get you to lighten up a bit?” he asks.

“You really want to know?” you sneer at him.

“Yes,” he says with a slight hint of frustration in his tone.

You cross your arms. “Pay for the fucking fence.”

He blinks at you, confusion replacing whatever frustration was previously decorating his tone. “What?”

“The fence,” you reiterate with a step forwards towards him, “the one I built six months ago. The one where you laughed in my face when I told you to help pay for it.”

He leans forward. “Yeah. Because I never wanted that fence built. Like I said, it fucked up the roots on my avocado tree. You should’ve asked me before building it. In fact, it’s illegal to build a fence without joint consent of both neighboring property owne–”

“Oh my god, okay, see? This is why I can’t stand you,” you snarl at him and make another move to get past him but he easily steps in front of you to keep you from going anywhere.

With a sigh, he relents. “Fine, I’ll pay for the fence.”

You try to keep the twitching muscles of your face still as you resolutely stare up at him, pressing your lips into a thin line. Through a strained tone, you say, “No. I don’t want you to pay for it anymore.”

He lifts a brow, utterly bewildered at this point. “Huh?”

“Now it just feels like pity. And I don’t want your pity money.”

“Two seconds ago, you did.”

“Yeah, well, whatever. That was two seconds ago.”

“So…let me get this straight, you don’t want me to pitch in?”

“No. I want you to have wanted to pitch in SIX MONTHS AGO.”

“Okay but what the fuck am I supposed to do about that now?”

“NOTHING!!!” you finally snap at him, the shrill to your voice startling him slightly to where you see his shoulders jump, and his eyes are now rounded blue as he looks at you. “There’s nothing you can do about it, there’s nothing you can do to get me to ‘lighten up’ or ‘act softer’ or whatever the fuck kind of damage control you aim to achieve with me due to your pestering incessant need to be liked by every fucking person you come across. So just deal with the fact that I hate you and let me do it in peace.”

He’s silent for what feels like a long time as he blinks at you, his bottom lip pushing up slightly in a way that suggests he’s almost impressed by your little outburst, then he takes a step forward, and in that one large stride, he’s closed any distance between the two of you. Your back is up against the frigid steel of the fridge, your heels tucked under the warm rubber at the foot of it, and you’re looking up at Gojo as he towers over you, his hands still annoyingly and relaxedly shoved into his pockets.

“Do you think it’s gonna be a problem that I think you’re kinda hot when you’re mad?” he asks you.

A small puff of air leaves your lips, like you just can’t believe the audacity, but also having him this close to you suddenly made it a little harder to breathe. “C–...Can you just be fucking serious for one second?”

His head dips down, the fringe of his hair tickling your forehead, tip of his nose slightly brushing against yours, but his gaze never falls to your lips. “You think I’m not being stupid fuckin’ serious when I say that you’re hot?”

“S–” your breath hitches in your throat, and his gaze finally falls to the lick you pass over your lips, “Satoru–”

Like God himself answered to your (cognitively dissonant) prayers, the bell rings, and Gojo leans himself away from you, straightening his spine so he can glance over his shoulder towards the door, a slight look of irritation on his face through the furrow of his brow.

You blink up at him. “A–...Are you expecting someone?”

He rubs the back of his neck. “No. Don’t think so.” He sighs before shuffling around the kitchen island and across the dining hall towards the entryway of the house, and you peer at the sight from across the hall.

When he opens the door, you see Sana standing outside, dressed in mom jeans and a t-shirt with her black Coach purse slung around her shoulder, arms crossed, and you barely register the fact that she looks pissed.

“Sana?” Gojo says, “what’s up.”

She entirely ignores him when she catches sight of you, pushing right past him and into the family room that you were currently finding solace in.

“You,” she points at you, storming right up to your personal space, “what the hell did you say to Juno when you were babysitting her?!”

“H-Huh??” you squeak out, taking a step backwards. “What are you talking about?”

“You told her to fight kids at school?!” she snarls at you, and your eyes widen.

“What?” you say, your face twisting with confusion, “I–...I never said that. I just said that she should stand up for herself if she needs to.”

Sana inhales deeply with rage, leaning back and jutting her hip out as she crosses her arms again. “Yeah, well, I had to pick her up early from school today because the principal called and told me she shoved a little girl on the playground during recess, and now she’s facing suspension.”

Gojo approaches suddenly from your periphery, standing in front of you as he faces Sana. You stand on your tiptoes to peer at her over his shoulder. “What? Why would Juno do something like that?

You hear Sana start to tap her foot impatiently against the hardwood floor, and then she turns her head away from Gojo as a slight hmph! noise leaves her throat. “The why is irrelevant.”

You poke your head out from behind Gojo and glare at her, but then Gojo turns around suddenly to look at you.

“y/n,” he says, “what’s going on?”

“I–” you start, glancing at Sana again who now has a solemn look on her face with pursed lips. You glance back at Gojo, who’s looking at you with confusion and anticipation. A heat spreads down your neck from the attention of the both of them on you, and you’re not sure what the smart thing to say is, so you figure you’ll just tell the truth as it is. “...I just didn’t want her getting bullied and thinking she can’t stick up for herself.”

At that, you see Gojo’s shoulders stiffen. “Bullied?” he repeats after you, then quickly turns towards Sana, “what does she mean, bullied? Juno’s getting bullied at school?”

Sana faces him full-on, raising a stern pointed finger between the two of them “No. Satoru. Stop. You always do this. This has nothing to do with you, so don’t even start. It’s not a big deal, let’s not make it one.”

“The fuck do you mean it’s not a big deal? She’s getting bullied at school, and you want her to just suck it up?” he asks, venom dripping from his tone. 

“It’s for her benefit!” Sana exclaims. “Jun and I have spent months trying to get her into this school! We don’t want her getting kicked out.”

“Y’know, I’m–” you stutter, “I’m gonna–...I’m just gonna go upstairs,” you say, “this seems like a family matter. I think you guys should probably just settle this on your ow–”

“No,” Gojo says, pointing to the couch that you were standing in front of, “sit down.”

You sit.

Gojo turns to face Sana again, and although you can’t see his face, you imagine he’s pissed off from the way Sana’s shoulders drop slightly and her sharp expression is cut into a more sheepish one.

“Who cares if Juno is suspended for sticking up for herself? It’s the teachers’ fault for not making sure she’s safe,” he says.

“Shoving other kids is not the solution.”

“Well if you fuck around, then you find out. Kids are too soft these days.”

“This is not the 90s, Satoru.”

You watch the back and forth between the two of them for the better part of an entire minute, feeling uneasy in the hostile environment of the room, but there’s a sense of underlying familiarity between the two, one that is recognizable amongst family. And you feel rather foreign, but then remember that, technically speaking, now that you’re married to Gojo, this is your family too.

Amongst the arguing of the adults, none of you noticed that Juno had gotten out of the car in the driveway and was now standing in the doorframe of the front entrance. She looks scared and guilty, fidgeting with her fingers in front of her, and you notice her scrapes and bruises that you tended to last week were now mostly healed. 

Gojo catches sight of her, and you see his shoulders relax. “Juno, c’mere.”

With the permission, she instantly runs towards him and into his arms from where he was crouched down to the floor in order to welcome her, and then she starts sobbing.

“I’m–hic,” she cries, “I’m so–hic–I’m so sowwyyy Uncle Toru…I’m–hic–I’m sorry mommyyyy.” 

You see Sana sigh and she makes a move to brush Juno’s tear-dampened hair out of her face when Gojo pulls her away from his shoulder by a delicate hold of her bony little shoulders.

“Juno. Listen. If people are being mean to you, then you do exactly as your auntie y/n said. You stand up for yourself. And if that doesn’t work, then you cuss at them and threaten to shove their faces into the dirt until they run away with their tails between their legs. Do you understand me?” Gojo tells her.

Sana gives you a pointed look.

“Oh, I–” you put your hands up in front of you, “I didn’t say any of that last part.”

“Do you understand me?” Gojo repeats again, and Juno nods her head slowly before she falls back into him and soaks his shirt with tears. “I’m soowwwwwyyyyyy.”

Gojo pats her back a few times to comfort her, and your heart breaks for the little girl. It’s bad enough to be bullied at school, but then to be reprimanded by your mother the one time you stand up for yourself…you can imagine how emotionally exhausting that would be for a five-year-old. 

Juno sniffles, rubbing her snot all over the cotton of Gojo’s shirt, and then pulls her face away to rub at her eye with a weakly closed fist. “I–hic–I just…I just wanted him to feel–hic–the same hurt.”

“Huh? Who?” Gojo asks.

“The boy,” Juno says, “the one that shoved me today.”

“It was a boy?!?!?!” Gojo yells. “Alright. That’s it. I’m grabbing my bat.”

“Satoru.” Sana deadpans.

Sana and Gojo continue to bicker about the ethics of threatening five-year-old boys with baseball bats, going back and forth about how Gojo wasn’t actually going to do anything but just wanted to instill fear (he’s lying), while Sana isn’t exactly sold on a single pacifist thing that he says, and you sigh, because you realize you’ve become invested in one of, what you feel like will become many, of their family quarrels.

Juno sneaks around Gojo’s legs and comes up to you while the arguing is taking place in the background, and she gently taps your knee as you’re seated on the couch. “Auntie y/n,” she whispers.

You rub an eye crustie from her face and then hold her hand in yours. “Yes?”

“Thank you.”

“Mm? For what?”

She smiles at you, her cheeks pink and flush from crying but rounded now in glee. “My mommy and daddy spoke a lot today at home for first time in long time because of me. Because I listen’ded to you. Thank you.”

Your eyes narrow. “What do you mean by that, sweetheart?”

Why wouldn’t Sana and Jun be on normal talking terms? What does Juno mean that it’s been a long time? What exactly was going on at home?

“Juno,” Sana’s voice interrupts your thoughts, her arms crossed across her chest, “c’mon. Let’s go.” She points a stern finger at Gojo. “Seriously. I mean it. No baseball bats or rodent traps involved. I’ll talk to the teachers and sort something out.” She glances at you, that strict look on her face now dissolving into one of pure exhaustion. One you can imagine only a mother can face. “See you later at dinner, you two.”

Juno runs up to her mom and grabs onto her outreached hand, and you see Gojo ruffle her hair as she walks past him, her giggles ringing in the air, and then he sees them out the door. 

The air is awkward, at least to you, the second he closes the door, and when he turns around to face you, your body stiffens up.

He leans back onto the front door, crossing his arms over his chest. “Thanks,” he says, “for telling Juno to stick up for herself.”

You blink at him. “Well. I don’t feel too great about it at the moment, to be honest.”

He sighs. “I just think that Jun and Sana are raising her to be…kinda meek. I wish they’d teach her to be more confident and take up space.”

“Mhm,” you nod. Because you agree. Little girls need to learn how to be that way at a young age, because the world is seldom very kind to them.

“Well, what you said to her is what I would’ve said to her anyways,” he says.

You roll your eyes, standing up from the couch and heading back into the kitchen to presume your work on your peach cobbler. “I never told her to shove kids’ faces into the dirt. But, uh, sure, I guess so.”

You see Gojo enter the kitchen too in your periphery, but you don’t give him any glance or look or attention. From what you can see as you stir around your macerated peaches in a Pyrex bowl, he’s leaning against the island counter about three feet away from you, his hands shoved in his pockets, and he’s watching you. A slight warmth radiates in your cheeks, but you attempt to ignore the nerves by being hypnotized by the pink syrup that pools at the bottom of the bowl.

My mommy and daddy spoke a lot today at home for first time in long time because of me. Because I listen’ded to you. Thank you.

An unsettling feeling takes over your senses. It could be the past few years you’ve spent walking on eggshells around your mother, or the way you’ve become so keen to her energy as a way of staying on top of any shift in her symptoms, any single sign of disease progression, any clue that she wasn’t getting better. Any clue that she wasn’t doing okay. And you feel a sense of dread, because that skill, you realize, has now made you aware of similar circumstances in the people around you.

Not to mention, you are a child of divorce. You know what that fear feels like.

You just want to know if Juno feels safe at home.

“Hey, um…” you start, turning slightly to finally face Gojo, your eyes hesitantly flickering up to meet his gaze, “when was the last time you saw your brother-in-law? And with Sana?”

He raises a brow at you. “I just saw them last weekend for one of Juno’s dance recitals.”

“Ah…I see,” you say. You purse your lips together. 

Right. Kids say things all the time. They believe in Santa Claus and think that blueberry pancakes are called blubbery pancakes. And they sometimes read too into things, and they sometimes read too little. Surely, things must be okay. Maybe Sana and Jun had had a little argument with some stubbornly thawing cold shoulders, a demeanor that was noticed by their child, and now things have resumed to normal. That was normal. Part of every family. “That’s good to know…” 

You turn away from Gojo to stare back down into the bowl of macerated peaches again. With a furrowed brow, you close your eyes tightly to try to shake the chilly feeling in your bones, and you feel better when you open them again. The slightly numb sensation in your hand dissipates and you have enough dexterity to mix the peaches around in the bowl.

“I wonder what news they want to share with us over dinner,” you say, to quell the awkward silence.

“Hm?” Gojo hums, and you see him turn around face the counter now, hovering over the bowl of raw crumble topping you had mixed together, prodding at it with the wooden spoon. “Oh, they’re moving.”

Your head snaps to look at him. “W-What?”

“Yeah,” he nonchalantly affirms, scooping up a spoonful of the crumble. “They wanted to up-size, and move a little closer to the school that Juno’s at. I found them a nice place about an hour from here on the outskirts of the city. They just signed the papers a couple weeks ago.” And then he shoves the spoon into his mouth.

“Oh…wow,” you say. “Okay…”

“Damn,” Gojo says with surprise laced in his tone, "this is really good.” He’s staring into the bowl in awe and then scoops up some more crumble with a spoon.

You blink at him, irritated that he’s eating all your ingredients without even asking, and before you’ve even finished your dessert. It’s like he was born to piss you off.

You walk up to him and yank the bowl away, “Gimme that.” Then you pull it into the divot of your waist possessively and glare at him. 

He sighs, and then says something out loud that you’re sure he meant to keep in his head:

“I’ll get used to it.”

.

.

.

[end of chapter 5]

a/n. it feels so strange to post such a short chapter bahaha hopefully the ending isn't too abrupt. but hope you enjoyed! i'm so sorry ab the slow burn in this series aaa but i can try to assure you that it'll all be worth it hopefully lol i'm really excited for what i have planned for this series!! alsooo sorry if there are errors or anything, i'm trying to spend less time editing since it really stalls me n leads to writer's block lol. hope to see you in the next one :) much love! - ellie

➸ take me to chapter six!

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[acesluvrxx]

waiting for aces bday

i love love love love ace likeeee yall js dont fw ace like i do BRUHHHHHHH

anyways!! random essay about MY man bcus i love him and its 2:30 am and im on my period ..

i love you portgas d. ace. i’ve found comfort in you during the hardest moments of my life. you’ve always been there for me. i love everything about you. i cherish everything about you. your questionable choices, your admirable ambition about achieving your goals, your smile, your freckles, your dimples, your hat, the smileys on your hat as well as the red beads, your two belts, your compass watch, your bracelet that looks like a candy cane, that little blue latch on bag around your knee, the thing on ur elbow (what is that) your tattoos your silly little black boots that i wish were at my doorstep already ughhhh literally everythinggg ur so perfect

he’s just so important to me! like i actually cry over him everyday! like right now! im sitting on my bed listening to “boy is mine” by brandy & monica whisper-shouting the lyrics while pointing to my ace shrine! and wishing he was here to comfort me while these cramps make me want to jump!

i want his hands in mine, i want to do that cute thing where we compare hand sizes and have banter like “your hand is so big ace” and he’d be like “nah, yours are just small” ARGHHHH MY HEARTTT I CANT and they’d be all freckled and calloused but still warm bcus hes fireeeeeeeeeeee

why am i lowk spasming ugh I LOVE ACE i love all his outfits too !

and dont even get me started on him as a character like he deserved the best out of the world and js. WHEN I CATCH U ODA. i will defend ace with my life if anyone tries to play w me about him.

like wym he was born to die? no? hes safe at home with me and our 312 babies and one cat? marineford was filler. blackbeard is in hell. so is akainu.

its just. the way words literally can not describe how i feel towards this man like he is the most perfect, finest, handsomest, hottest, charming, fiery, hot-headed, polite, respectful, softie, caring, protective man ever i do not care if its greasy ace, wano ace, older ace, manga ace, treasure cruise ace, horribly 3d animated ace, or boichi ace i see any kind of ace and i’m on my knees begging with my mouth wide open or bent over and legs spread like please baby i can take all of it rough or gentle however you want it i will comply but at the same time i’m so genuinely in love with him like ace altered my brain chemistry because i physically can not find any other man fine.. because they can’t be !! ace IS perfect !! he’s so respectful and fine!! and like bro? his voice is so pretty? he is so slay? like he took out five marine ships with one fire fist? his va also just casually cooks food for the rest of the cast? is there something ace can’t do fr like.. AND OMG I COULD YAP ABOUT HIS PRETTY, SINCERE SMILE ALLL DAYYYY ITS SOOO CUTEE LIKE PLEASEE I BOUGHT THE RING TOO JUST PROPOSE BAE IF U DONT I WILL its so sweet and pretty he’s smiling at me all day i’m smiling back and crying WAHHHHHHHW9HUEHGAEIRHGIUGIDFIGHDIFHIDFHBIRJEGODIBGDKGJD LISTENING TO HIS SONG ON LOOP LIKE BAE?? U SAVED MY HEART?? i just want to cuddle him and hug him and hold him and kiss him and make him feel better about himself bc garp is a bitch?? so is akainu?? everyone’s a bitch except luffy, whitebeard, and sabo pretty much HE DOES NOT DESERVE TO BE HATED ON JUST FOR LIVING LIKE ROGER YO BITCH ASS DID NOT HAVE TO NEGLECT YO CHILD AND PUT THE BURDEN OF BEING YO SON ON HIM SINCE THE MOMENT HE WAS BORN??

i will tell him he’s pretty and that he deserves to be alive and that he’s worth it and whoever shits on him is a piece of shit who don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about !! i want to be there for him and take him on dates and make him happy !! ill become a housewife bae i already got the apron on !! ill cook yo fave food, bathe u, bathe with you, do all of ur hobbies with u, sleep with u like anytime u fall asleep on me or anywhere? bae i have a blanket prepared ill tuck u in make sure u have a good sleep kiss u goodnight every night and tell u how much i love u even if its annoying ace u are my everything idk what to do bc i will not accept anyone else into my life atp.. ace ur my man my only man

i luv u portgas d ace

goodnight every1

[saltnpepperbunny]

Hi SPB, I was wondering where your motivation/creativity comes from and how you harness it? Thank you!

Hi! owo Uhhh a few different places. My motivation and my creativity come from different places but they work together to help me do what I do.

My motivation to make comics comes from:

Comments and feedback, I want my art to be a conversation with another person and thus feedback is kinda what I make comics for. I love how as my stories speak, people will speak back.

The fun of drawing, I just enjoy drawing comics like as an activity, it makes me happy, it's a very rhythmic and relaxing process, and thus its a regular part of my days. I just love having the finished page to stare at at the end.

The fervor of storytelling, that shit's my serotonin bro, I just need to write stories, it's an important part of how I navigate my life on like a structural level. It's how I process the world around me, so as my life goes on and stuff happens, I feel motivated to write about it. And comics are the main way I do my writing now.

To keep up w my community, I surround myself w other comic artists and a lot of us work, draw, and create together. It's a sacred bond between artists. u'w'u If I stopped comicking, I'd have like nothing to show them? There'd be no goal to work towards? Most of my friends make comics lol.

And my creativity comes from:

The need to process, as life treks on I tend to have Big Feelings about Almost Everything and writing is how I process those feelings and just, the world around me in general. You input experiences into this machine and I will output a fiction story. It's how I make sense of things and make meaning of my experiences.

The drive to keep improving, I always want my storytelling to get better and thus I have to continuously get creative to invent new ways to write and draw better. It's a never ending process, there is ALWAYS something to sharpen, so I just keep searching for new means to improve, things to tweak, ways something could be better. It's a never ending challenge and I need challenge in my life. It's like something to work on.

Internal experiences, feelings, opinions, fears, hopes, wishes, thoughts, ideas, questions, answers, et cetera.

Love, is definitely involved. Love has a huge involvement in my creative process. It's soaked into so many different, little parts of the process. Like uhhh taking a character through a journey? That's love. Writing new kinds of rep? That takes love. It's kinda just everywhere and it's something I can draw from very consistently cause those Big Feelings I mentioned includes love.

I also tend to write from anger and a strong sense of in/justice. Could you tell lol.

I like to take a lot of inspiration from nature, also. All my backgrounds are just me blowing a kiss to mother nature.

This is getting long sorry but how to harness it all, uhhhhh. Practice. Build habits. Make an effort to get creative on the regular, not necessarily every day, but try to avoid massive dry spells unless you're really not doing well or there's an understandable reason for it. Dry spells are ultimately unavoidable but don't have to define your creative cycle, it IS possible to create on the reg unless you're not taking care of yourself well. Don't only create when you're hyperfixated cause that just builds a habit to do that, if you're not feeling up to it, just do the thing for like 30 minutes and then either stop and chill or keep going cause the momentum will now carry you. I create p much every day cause it's an important part of how I navigate my life i.e. the processing motive and insatiable need for challenge, I can never stop writing now as long as I live cause writing is how I meet those needs. So yeah, just be like me and sell your soul to the gods art! Make the thing you wanna do fun, don't beat your head against a brick wall if that creative hobby you're trying to get into just really isn't sticking, it's not ALWAYS meant to be and it's okay to admit that and just move on and try something new. I tried many different kinds of art before I ever found comicking and it stuck, and now I basically just do comicking and some of my other older creative hobbies fell away. That's fine, that's life, you'll find your thing if you keep searching out new things. Oh, and also get in community, surround yourself w other creatives and consume they're work, trust me you'll get inspired p quick.

wow this got longER. sorry!

[prettybbychim]

i’ve never like thought about the future or what i want for myself

when it’s drilled into you that the world is going to end and be reborn ever since the day you were conceived..there’s no point in hoping or dreaming or wondering. i was actively discouraged from doing so

you can’t go to college, you must live simply and never strive for more, you must dedicate your life in service to god, you must only worship god, learn more about him, and teach others - there is no place for hobbies, goals, or interests outside of Him.

get baptized, then full time ministry, then get a job only to support your ministry work, then get married, then preach side by side with your spouse, then teach your children in these ways.

the only acceptable form of higher education was learning a trade to work at the world headquarters

i never liked any of that. so i didn’t think about that. but i also didn’t think about what else there could be. i haven’t thought about my life beyond becoming an adult and then there’s a blurry space until the world is wiped clean

i haven’t thought about even moving out of my parents’ house. that’s treacherous unknown waters. it’s super fucking scary

idk what i thought was going to happen, if i was just gonna coast along until i die. i know logically i can’t and i don’t want to either

18 years of there’s no point, all your efforts are worthless, and god will wipe all your achievements away in the end. just a worker bee to spread the message of doom with no conceivable end date

i was talking with my therapist about possibly maybe applying for section 8 housing so i can get out of this house of traumatic memories and to stop living w these people because they only cause me distress.

i genuinely think i would be in a better mental state if i had those two things. i feel pretty good in the depression department actually, for what feels like the first time ever.

but this house and my family keep dragging me down into the deep.

i have other issues, yeah. namely my physical health, anxiety and adhd, money. i’m at least working towards bettering those things, trying to get a diagnosis or treatment while doing the work i can right now

i really think those things would be easier to manage if my own home wasn’t sucking the life out of me

then i come back to the no future outlook. to get away, i have to actually get away. i have to actually move out, change my life i’ve settled into, enter a world that was beaten into me that i can’t do that, i shouldn’t do that, there’s no point, it’s a sin and a disgrace.

i just get stuck at this point, just so fucking afraid to even entertain the thought of change, of doing anything with my life, even when i know their teachings were horseshit, that it’s okay to do those things

i know it’s okay to make friends. but i freeze at any opportunity because everyone outside the religion is bad and sinful and will perish.

what do i want? i don’t know. what do i like? i don’t know. who am i? i don’t know.

you know what i want? what my dream is?

i want to live in a small apartment with a roommate who doesn’t hate me.

it took me four years to realize that and admit it and i still feel deep shame over it

i still wonder, is this a normal human experience? am i dramatizing a common occurrence? is this simply a part of growing up? am i freaking out over nothing?

i feel like i am. i don’t know if i am

[formula-red]

thank u @gaygglejuice27 @f1-giuki and @sennaverstappen for the tags ily MWAH!!!!!!!

get to know ur moots qs!!!!

Are you named after anyone? yes but my full name was her nickname, she was a close family friend and possibly one of the most kind, intelligent, talented, and hilarious people i have ever known and it might sound cliche but i really am honoured to be named after her. my middle name is also after another woman who was a strong bad ass bitch (my great aunt) so kinda balling out in that sense.

When was the last time you cried? yesterday? yeah yesterday. i never used to cry and now i do all the time i don't know what's happened

Do you have kids? no but being a mom is my ultimate goal in life so ideally want to have some before the end of this decade lol

Do you use sarcasm a lot? uh yes. probably to the extreme. but being dry and sarcastic af has helped me get along with the brits hahah

What sports do you play/have you played? i had to stop playing sports when i got sick but i played footy since i was 3 (centre mid like khadizah heh heh), and then lacrosse and ice hockey most of my life. also field hockey for a year. but ice hockey was by far my biggest love i miss it so much. oh and i hike a lot now if that counts

What's the first thing you notice about other people? eyes and smile fs. for someone who hates eye contact i sure do pay a lot of attention to ppls faces/eyes lol

Scary movies or happy ending? happy ending, life is hard enough as it is

Any special talents? something is wrong with the joints in my pinky fingers so i can move them like a robot. also i make music which isn't that special but oh well

Where were you born? in the state of massachusetts in the grand ol us of a

What are your hobbies? f1 (in case u didn't notice), music, writing, hiking, video games, making imovies, i keep up with footy a bit

Do you have any pets? i have two dogs back in the states, one in particular was my buddy and i miss her so much. can't think about her too much or i'll cry

How tall are you? 5'3" ≈ 161cm

Fave subject in school? biology & choir pre-uni, obviously in uni psych since i've gone on to get my masters in it but also environmental bio still has my heart.

Dream job? stay at home mom or homesteader. yes yes i know i sound alt-right or something but i mean this in a fuck capitalism i wanna be a self sufficient hippie and have my kids get an experiential education kinda way.

Eye colour? blue but my right one has some brown streaks in it.

a lot of ppl have been tagged so i don't know who has n hasn't, either way tagging (as always w/out any pressure at all) my pals mwah mwah mwah @usersewis @schumigrace @simplywrong @rossocorsaseb @albonium @skitskatdacat63 **eta: @osaka-lilac i don't know why it didn't paste ur un when i copied over from the notes app you were supposed to be in here too ;;;;;-;;;;; ILY ILY ILY ILY**

[luxtax]

Hi!! I was wondering: how long have you been a professional?

While I have artistic skills, I am JUST BARELY entering the paid-professional world and I find it very daunting. I aspire to charge the prices you charge, but I'm worried about jumping in too deep when I don't even have a following yet, haha!

When you were starting out, what kind of prices did you charge? Are you glad you picked that level? Were people receptive to it? How long did it take for you to get where you are?

I'm sorry if you've answered these questions somewhere, but I could not find these answers ;w;

Also, feel free to ignore this - no hard feelings! I'm just impressed with you, and I'd like to get where you are some day (:

Hello! Don't worry this isn't a bother at all and I'm always happy to answer any questions people have! Of course art is subjective and what works for some people might not work for others so keep that in mind! This is general advice from my own life/journey and can/should be adjusted to fit you and your specific skill/level/life.

Now with that out of the way, I've been doing art commissions on/off since I was about 15/16ish. I've always had side jobs to stay afloat until about 2+ years ago. In 2020 I went fulltime with art and started considering myself professional. However, the second you take a commission it becomes a job, you got paid for a service and you're entering the professional world vs the hobby world. You have to take it seriously and understand that being your own boss comes with many benefits as well as hazards. Being diligent and disciplined while also maintaining your work/life balance with your physical and mental health in mind is harder than it looks. However, it CAN be done, don't let it deter you just be mindful.

I 100% encourage everyone/anyone to give it a try if that is your dream. It is very daunting and I implore you to take your time with it. Building an audience is really important, but so is loving your craft. Creating art YOU want to see in the world, depending on what kind of art you do there are a lot of options available.

When I first started out, like many artists I severely undercharged for my work. Three things should be taken into account when you're doing commissions -- 1. how long does it take you? Hourly rate. Make sure you're making at least minimum wage. 2. Skill level. Now this is subjective, but if you hone a craft you should charge more for it. Art is something you can always keep striving for improvement on. As your skills grow, so should your price. If you get more diverse with your species, styles, backgrounds and so on. All of that has to play a part in pricing yourself. 3. Market. The market fluxes, what is your audience? What is your market? I believe marketing is more than half of the battle of being an artist. Art is subjective, everyone has an audience somewhere. However, finding that audience and marketing to them effectively can be a challenge. Each website has analytics that help with engagement -- especially as a starting artist. Each website has a best time to post, what content does best, how responsive people are and so on. These are things you can research but it will also involve just a lot of trial & error.

People were not always receptive to my work, I've failed 100+ times and I will fail 100+ more. Art and being a creative in general is a lot about failure and refusing to give up. If something doesn't work out, you have to adjust and try again. It's the blunt reality that I know a lot of us don't talk about, nobody likes to fail but when you create something new and original that's just par for the course. So don't be afraid of failure, it'll happen and it's okay. Just try again, there is no perfect time to put yourself out there. Remember set manageable goals and standards, take care of your body (seriously stretch and take breaks. Don't draw on pure white. Like take care of yourself you only get one body. Art is taxing labor) and ALWAYS ALWAYS celebrate your small victories.

It took me many years to get where I am at now, but I caught a lucky break after putting in a ton of work. Optimizing my posting time and staying extreme consistent was a huge part of my success. Marketing skills are your BEST FRIEND. Art is a lot of skill, luck and marketing. If you keep trying at it and working towards your goal eventually you will get it to work. The key is consistency, patience, and gradual growth.

I believe in you and every other aspiring artist, take that first step. Failure is nothing to fear, it's growth and experience points.

[adobodemon]

New Years Resolution Manifestation Rant Listicles

and yes I'll put it under Read More for all of our sakes. Happy New Year 2014 everbody!!

Prelude: Who I want to be

lemme be real for a sec. I am going to be turning a serious age this year. rhymes with flirty. I have had time to get grown but now it's time to get wise! It's time for me to get behind the wheel of my life again. I felt like I was behind it 4 years ago but We All Know What Happened. It Is Happening To All Us. Coming back home to my parents stunted my growth a little and also I feel it erode at my current friendships. I feel like I'm doing a good job of improving myself, but this year I need to improve my relationship to others. So yeah in short, less autopilot, more hangouts with friends, less overwork, more hobbies...

How will I go from Consoomer and Doomer to Improover and Dooer?

1. Be more consistent with what I want to practice - that goes for working out, digital art, other hobbies I may want to pick up... saw a Tiktok once saying that we need to pick up slow activities again bc clearly, the need to be instantly gratified has poisoned almost every aspect of our lives. InstaGrat also helps us be in autopilot a lot easier, we can't think, we can't breathe, we can't taste our food before swallowing it down. this year I'm going to change that by planting a lot of seeds that I may not see bloom for weeks, months, years even!

2. Approach people with curiosity - not the best communicator as I've said many different times on this blog. I always catch myself trying to make the conversation about myself and how I can relate to it instead of asking the other person more about themselves or what they think. I've seen enough thinkpieces on other sites recommend this that I might as well try it for myself and see how it works out.

3. Get off my damn phone - already made steps towards this! Tiktok and IG are gone from my phone, whenever I go into a huge timesink like Tumblr (sorry) or Discord I set it up so I get an annoying pop-up telling me all the other things I could be doing! (I will share this Shortcut w anyone who needs it, iPhone exclusive tho sorry)

4. Appreciate all the stuff I have - while I am nowhere need as bad as my mom who needs to go to Burlington and buy 3 whatchamacallits or else she has a nervous Boomer breakdown, I do admit I own and have access to a lot of things I take for granted, like books, games, tools like my iPad, PC, etc. I will fight against analysis paralysis, I will squeeze the life out of all that I own, I won't spend another day bored inside my head if I don't have to.

5. Collect. Organize. Do. - one of my oomfs indirectly changed my Youtube algorithm for the good and I've been getting a lot of videos from Improovtube. skimmed through a video that suggested a neat system for getting things done: Collect your thoughts and desires. Organize your tasks. Do the things that make it happen. and just like that every self improvement book I've read is useless. lol no but really it's crazy that that's all it boils down to. I will investigate more on this system but for now this seems like a good modus operandi.

Epilogue: Specific non-specific goals

Completing my year long art practice regimen

Reading more of my physical books and manga (and I get to see their spines when I finish :D)

Bigger boobs

Becoming a homeowner

Homoeroticism

Going to at least 5 group activities and meeting new people there

[thesugarhole]

quick venting post just as i finally began internalizing 'oh well play the cards im dealt' and try to find some comfort in the life i currently have and making future plans to go for an easier get-by once i have a safety net (savings) its like. im suddenly and steadily bombarded by messages like 'make sure you do what you want now dont let life take you on the predicted path its a risk you gotta take' like fucking hello??? theyre not mutually exclusive to a degree but its also... idk to explain its like if you dont have it planned from 10 years old then you might have some good experiences but its never the life youll want. and its direct conflit with 'never too late to start doing something'

yesterday night for example i opened the 'news' (its more articles full of advertising and soccer than actual news) tab on my phone and there was one like 'tips from CEO who retired at 44!' and it w

boiled down to, quote 'having life planned to the microscopic detail by the time she was 20' (im 27 this year, fucking come on) studied hard, worked hard for the first youthful years, made it to portugal microsoft ceo(?) and amassed enough to retire early.

it was mentioned she lost her parents early (at 50yos, but how old was she then?) that helped push her to plan it like this but like. well first of all i guess im still too bright eyed because i dont believe this ceo thing possible without loosing morals/ideals along the way (ive yet to met a ceo thats not incredibly out of touch and wants to fuck over everyone and everything for their own gain), but i find it harder to believe there was no silver spoon, especially for those first years. granted if shes 44 now she probably had an easier economy then, but hm. millions work hard from the moment theyre born, how come they don't retire at 44?

the investments. there it was. 'oh i invested in real estate and other small things' thats not hard work, thats gambling. and thats the exact moral loss i expected, the way real estate in portugal is now. and god this pisses me off so much what the FUCK does 'invest in real estate' EVEN MEAN?? you want me to buy stocks off some company?? you want me to buy a house and become a landlord?? i dont even have a place for myself, much less for the tourists and digital nomads. and for every one person saying they got rich off investing, oh you gotta invest smart etc theres 10 currently trying and bleeding money and about 30 that already gave up on it. like it genuinely feels like any other get rich quick scheme where its disheartening that it worked for a couple people and those couple people already had money to begin with

idk if any if this is gonna make sense im writing from heart and whatever the text leads but you understand this right. like my current goal is to just find something later on that will pay decent, not make me slowly but steadily give up on it and have personal time for hobbies. and then i get this shit thrown at me. in 4 months ive been broken down enough that the ridiculous honey pot that is 'invest! stocks! etc!' is starting to appeal to me. like i am not going to be different from the other failure cases im not one lottery away from being set for life. and at the very least im not putting money in the machine selling 40m2 studio apartments for 1 million euros to foreigners while throwing people in the streets if they had houses, jail if they were illegally occupying abandoned houses with no roof. fuck sakes

[regan-arksey]

Week 1: Strengths And Weaknesses

Hello! My name is Regan Arksey, first and foremost I'm excited to be working with my new class and I look forward to this new learning experience. As a starting post, I will be listing a few entrepreneur strengths and weaknesses I posses! Starting off strong, I have been raised by a family that has quite a bit of business history (my father owning a gas station). This, in turn, had my parents put me through a bunch of afterschool programs that better molded me into a social/leadership type person. That being said, two of my biggest strengths is effectively communicating with customers/employees and my ability to think creatively/outside the box! My visionary type of creativity stems from my hobby of being a self taught digital art (to which I've been doing for roughly three years now though I've been doing art all my life). Since I've been working in A&W for a good 5 years, one of my bigger weaknesses is that I'm used to working for people instead of having people work for me. I find it more relaxing being told what to do instead of telling others what to do, I sometimes find it difficult to face problems (such as an upset customer) because I'm afraid of anger, though working for 5 years in A&W, I have grown more resistant. This stems from my non-confrontational nature, as I'd much rather just go with what others may say (this can also be seen as a pro to some degree, as it shows I am able to keep calm in stressful situations). The good thing, however, about the type of business I do is that I am my own owner and do not need employees (digital artist as mentioned prior) That being said, I have taken on a leadership roll at A&W as a senior cashier worker - so much so that I've even trained our regional manager when he first started! I make concepts in a workplace easy to understand, so much so others can do the same. Another strength of mine is my ability to financially plan smartly. This is also due to the fact my father is a finances type of man, so I've learned a lot off of him. Saving money on the side incase something happens and being able to limit/budget myself. The beauty of this type of business I will be running through this course is that I will not need to use a budget. I use a free digital art program with all the tools I'd ever need! No need for that pricey Photoshop here! One last weakness I do face is my time management. If there's something I do not understand, I will procrastinate/hold it off until I start stressing. Its what ended up happening to this post, I would have had this done sooner had I sat down and read it more clearly/thought it through. Though once I do understand an objective or an end-goal I get it done as soon as possible without hesitation. Since I've been doing art for myself as well and only myself, I've never challenged myself to actually put a deadline on. Though, since I will be taking a couple of commissions now through this course - I will have to start doing so which I am confident I will be able to meet! In the end, I know I will do well and achieve all the goals I will set for myself. When I meet failure, I will pick myself right back up and double down to achieve success the next time around. I look forward to what this course has in store for me and I'm excited to see what I can learn!

[thoughtcock]

2024 wrapped

Things I did

March: Taylor Swift eras tour shoutout to marcus, brought harvey to singapore

June: First truly solo trip in vietnam (afforded a michelin meal for my own bday)

Nov: Bangkok trip with harvey and meeting my dad after a year, my brother since before covid

Career (w)

1 Started to stabilize and be more familiar with the company and workflow

2 Learnt extra things like China breaking news

3 Hearing good comments about me from colleagues and management (hard working, dedicated, take initiative, detailed oriented)

4 Having management that is normal lol, can talk to them rather freely

5 Despite some grey areas on my job scope (because earnings specialist don’t have things to do when there’s no earnings) I think I did the best I can to make sure my time at work is meaningful and people recognize for that

6 overcoming anxieties better (1st half and second half has difference)

7 Don’t beat myself up over mistakes I made (better compared to last year when I would panic over small mistakes and my colleagues told me to chill) 8 Helped out with more major earnings and planning and trained new ppl how to do it

Career (L)

1 Dealing with incompetent people and getting emotional about it, sometimes letting my mood sour for hours or days even

2 Breaking news still things to improve like sending headlines more instantly

3 Don’t really feel I have close friends in office, hard to blend in and like a lone wolf of sorts

4 Think I should market myself better so I get even more recognized for the detailed things

5 After feeling like I’m finally settling in my team, i now have to deal with a new team next year (good and bad, challenges lie ahead)

Relationships (w)

1 Managed to convince Harvey to travel more, I enjoy seeing him relaxed and not stressed (learning lessons from sg)

2 Still stable with harvey, enjoy our little inside jokes quality dates when we are not lazy

3 Introducing harvey to more people who ate important to me (dad, little brother, shin)

Relationship (L)

1 How to navigate harvey’s hardships and deal with negative energy, encourage him better while trying to balance my energy

2 How we can improve our quality time together (more intentional dates, shared hobbies, openess, try to have more things to say)

Family / Friends (w)

1 reframing my relationship with family. seeing them as human (work in progress)

2 The realization that my mom doesn’t worry about me anymore, which is nice and i feel more at ease (now she worries more about my bro)

3 realizing that my brother is growing up

4 intentional time with friends like today

5 nugget: learning consistency and patience, how to be nurturing and caring, being capable of giving love

Family/friends (l)

1 Still a work in progress trying to be more present, make initiative to connect with people

2 carve more time

3 learning to really accept and let go of the past, not sure if fully let go but will keep trying

4 Starting to realize quality over quantity matters in relationships, cut out more in hanging out with people and meeting more with people who matter most

Personal

1 Pretty big year of personal growth for me

2 Really enjoying staying at home and starting to do more cozy hobbies (coloring, ACNH, building, yoga stretches, reading again) and realizing it helps my wellbeing

3 Became tidier because a neat personal space does make a difference

4 regular therapy to help spill my feelings and internalize

5 biggest win is friends and family realizing i have changed for the better

personal (l)

1 continue to accept parts that i don’t like about myself, like being introverted and quiet

2 be ok with misunderstandings from people who matter less

3 as long as i live my truth

4 letting go of trash/garbage

5 still have some inertia in doing things i really wanna do

Things I learnt

1 Work is not your life, it’s okay to focus on other aspects of yourself

2 Having my own space is important

Goals for next year

1 Work: figure out the new team properly, keep doing what i do, learn to accept other people’s attitudes at work and let go

2 scroll on phone less and occupy my time with more meaningful things

3 acceptance of disappointment

4 diving !!!!

5 overcome inertia, do things that i want to do even if can’t find anyone to do with me

6 continue to recognize life is beautiful

[town-of-silent-poets]

People NEED Hobbies

[Author's Note: ENGL 1120/COMP II Final Project "Multimodal Argument" Draft.]

Okay, my title may sound fairly obvious, I know, but hear me out: I have proof! This proof is in the form of two peer-reviewed studies and a silly little book about weird hobbies.

In a study printed in The Journal of Experimental Education, Takayuki Goto of Osaka University studies the impact of utility-value intervention on student engagement. Students were assigned to write reflections about how the content learned in their classes is relevant and useful to their goals and daily lives outside of school. The study found that those who engaged in the utility-value intervention stayed engaged with their classes and coursework throughout the semester and turned in more assignments, while those without the intervention became less engaged and submitted less of their assignments.

Now, that is very cool and very smart. How many people go to school or a job and think: "What is this going to do for me besides a degree/money?" Besides the upkeep of daily basics needed to sustain life, what is the point of putting in so much effort? Losing sight of our goals and overall happiness can happen in these situations. Yet, knowing that external factors can give value to monotonous tasks and make them easier to complete feels enlightening. Heck, how many people started taking classes or going to a job because there was something they wanted? I, myself, do both, because there's something I want to do in life that college and a job will help me achieve. The work is hard and repetitive, but knowing that a goal, be it a future career or buying something for myself, can be obtained and maybe even bettered by my efforts makes it worth doing far more.

That's not all I found, either. I did say there were two studies.

In the Journal of Applied Research in Intellectual Disabilities, Holli M. Holmes and W. Ben Mortenson published a study on the quality of life for people with intellectual disabilities. In order to conduct this study, 19 people with intellectual disabilities were consulted. They came together in groups to discuss the things that had positive and negative impacts on their lives. The conclusion for the positives was that support, well-being, activities, and hobbies were the key factors to the improvement of quality of life.

[ https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/epdf/10.1111/jar.13280 ]

Once again, I find this study fascinating as well. Of all the things that can help improve people's lives, having something to do counts for half of the overall conclusion. If this study were to be expanded to more than 19 people, I believe that this ratio would hardly change, even if those without intellectual disabilities were to be included in the study or studied separately. How many people can honestly say that they are okay with doing nothing? This doesn't mean sitting and looking at social media or reading or watching a movie, because, in all of those instances, you are still doing an activity. This is more about when you are surrounded by activity happening and you cannot engage with it despite wanting to. To do nothing goes against being alive, and being held back from doing something, anything, makes being alive quite hard.

Well, that brings me to my very last point: a silly little book about weird hobbies.

Michael Canfeild brings together a list of diverse and seemingly strange hobbies in his book America’s Oddest Hobbies. From dog grooming to bug fighting and from mooing to eggshell carving, there is a wide range of examples of what hobbies can entail.

As much as some of these examples might seem odd and not up your alley, that doesn't mean there isn't something out there just for you. Something that might seem weird to others, too. There are a lot of non-traditional hobbies, as well as hobbies that don't seem like hobbies. Some hobbies can also consume more or less time and/or money as well. Maintaining a social media account or ranking streaks in video games count as hobbies. Collecting items found on the ground such as rocks or lost trinkets can work, too, as something you do passively as you walk down a road or hallway. Taking pieces of plants and gluing them together on a canvas into a natural collage reminisce of a 3D painting. Dressing in different colors for specific days of the week or always wearing something themed for obscure holidays. Honestly, the list could go all. Big or small, proffitable or not, hobbies like these can make living life better. Who knows, maybe if you are interested in profit and put yourself into doing well, others could see your work, take interest, and be open to the ide of buying what you do.

So, over all, my point stands strong. People need hobbies, and my proof sits in two studies and a silly little book. Improve your school and work life, improve your life over all, and go get yourself your own hobby. I know I have. Mine? I like to intentionally and perfectly tie a game of checkers without anyone losing any pieces. :D

[thenewpathfinder2024-2034]

Most relationship mistakes have fixes, though, which is a good thing. Because last I checked, there was no manual for a partner who feels misunderstood or a partner who crosses on of your boundaries. It's a lot of trial and error. A lot of screwing up and forgiving.

W

You knsow that knowledge is power. And now that you know these common relationship mistakes and how to fix them, you can avoid the rocky road that leads to resentment and anger. You can be on the side of love and positive growth.

1. Not Setting Up Boundaries

Not setting up boundaries is probably the biggest, most common problem I saw in relationships. If we don't teach each other how we want to be treated, they won't know. Boundaries are essential to keeping the peace and being respectful in a relationship.

The Fix: When your partner says or does something that makes you uncomfortable, you have to let them know. This is how you lovingly establish boundaries. Try saying things like "Instead of X it would be better for me if you Y." Like, instead of yelling, "I would rather you took time to cool off." You can also be more direct, like "I don't want you to say 'I hate you' to me, ever, even if we're just playing." Boundary created.

2. Not Voicing Concerns

You partner is not perfect, so you can't treat them like they never do anything wrong. On the other hand, you don't want to be a constant critic. Both scenarios lead to resentment, frustration and anger on both your parts.

The Fix: You have to learn the difference between when a situation is something you should just let go, and when you need to speak up. This is hard and takes time. But it's worth doing. Otherwise, those little things that bother you will build up into big regrets.

3. Not Being Independent

One plus one does not equal one. People tend to get lost in relationships, which is not healthy. Maintaining independence while also fostering your closeness is the best way to go, Otherwise, you're creating this co-dependent soup that fosters more problems than it solves.

The Fix: Do your own thing once in a while. Have and hang out with your own friends. Keep doing your hobbies and working toward your personal goals. Spend alone time with yourself. You have to have a life outside of your relationship, too.

4. Making Unrealistic Promises

When you make unrealistic promises, that means you will eventually break those promises. Breaking promises is a great way to damage the trust you worked so hard to build in your relationships. Better to skip making promises you can't keep.

The Fix: Instead of saying "I will never hurt you" say, "I will do my best to never hurt you." Instead of saying "I'll handle it" every time there's a problem say, "we'll handle it together."

5. Depending On Each Other Too Much

If you're completely dependent on your partner, what will you do if your relationship ends suddenly? Being too dependent isn't healthy. Not only does it make things harder if the relationship ends, but it can keep you trapped with a lack of options.

The Fix: You have to be able to stand on your own as a whole, individual person, should your relationship end. Figure out whatever it takes to get there, and go for it, even if it's just baby steps. Learn how to use the bus. Take online classes. A little independence will make positive changes in your relationship, even if that seems counter-intuitive.

6. Not Making Time For Play

Play does amazing things for the friendship component of your relationship. Happy couples play, in whatever way works for them! They enjoy each other's company.

The Fix: Play! Be silly. Sing songs. Dance. Do fun things. Go on dates. Watch funny movies. Tell jokes. Goof around. Laugh. Whatever it takes to make each other smile and feel the light-hearted joy of being together.

7. Getting Lazy With Affection And Romance

Humans need touch to survive, and the chemicals in your brain that create those loving feelings thrive on touch. A relationship without touch is one doomed for failure.

The Fix: Create routines, at fist, like always kissing goodbye, or always hugging when someone gets home. Then, whenever you think about it, add in little things, like squeezing a knee on the train, holding hands during Netflix time, or even just randomly touching while you're running errands.

8. Trying Too Hard To Please Each Other

Trying too hard and doing too much sets up unrealistic expectations, which always lead to disappointment. You can't do everything and be everyone to your partner, no matter how much you may want to. This is especially problematic if one person is doing all of the pleasing in a relationship.

The Fix: Work on being your best self. Let your partner work on being their best self. You'll get into a rhythm soon enough. Be good to each other in a natural way. Go the extra mile once in a while, but not every single time you do something. It's not sustainable.

9. Not Communicating Changing Needs And Feelings

Couples can grow apart or grow together. To grow together, you have to keep getting to know each other, time and time again, month after month, and year after year. If you're not regularly checking in with each other on an emotional level, you'll soon lose your connection.

The Fix: Talk often. Discuss big, important things, like jobs, interests, kids, and family on a regular basis. Ask questions. Support each other during times of growth and change. Learn a little about the things that interest your partner.

10. Not Appreciating The Small Things

Big things are wonderful, but the bulk of life is made up of little things. If you don't appreciate the little things, and occasionally treat them like big things, you're in for a life of disappointment.

The Fix: Say "thank you" when you notice your partner doing something, even something small, like taking out the trash when it's your turn, or holding the door open. Practice gratitude for each other. Work harder to notice all the things your partner does for you that might otherwise go unnoticed. Pumping gas, or getting you a coffee can be a powerful way to show love.

11. Not Doing The Work

Relationships are hard. They're a lot of work. Sometimes you have to overlook the fact that you're super tired and you just want to go home because you promised you'd go somewhere with your partner. Sometimes you have to work hard to stifle criticism and find a more loving way to express your feelings. It's all part of the game. If you get too comfortable in your relationship, and you get lazy, then you're in for a bad time.

The Fix: You have to do the work. There's no other way to say it. Sometimes you have to suck it up and do things you don't want to do. If your partner and your relationship are worth it, you'll find a way.

You won't be able to avoid making all of these mistakes. But the good thing about that is the opportunity it presents to learn and become the best partner you could possibly be.

[imsoglitter]

Hi kate! Idk if you’ll see this or answer but I wanted to send bc I’ve been following u for awhile and see u as sort of a big sibling/mentor that reminds me that it gets better and one day everything will be okay :’) do u have advice on how to move on? I’m femme and had my first ever kinda relationship w a butch and it was nice but they abandoned me on my bday celebration after blowing up on me saying that I was too high maintenance, materialistic, sparkly, and pink and my emotions were “too much to process” and “my presence was unhealthy” 6 months later they’re engaged to another femme who is more slow living and earthy. sucked a lot bc from day 1 they said I WASNT too much and that they would never leave. Idk I’m not sad I dont wish I was the soon wife but I’m convinced now that I’ll never find anyone bc all butches/mascs at the end of the day want that & I’ll be alone 4evr. I noticed all of my butch/femm couple friends are kinda same the same (earthy, natural, no glitz or glamour, etc). Feeling v high femme camp antics essay rn and having trouble coping. I tried changing my aesthetic and being minimalist but it put in deep depression so idk what to do. I’m unlikeable to all the ppl I’m attracted to but fitting in to be likable makes me want to kms. Any thoughts or ideas?? Hope this doesn’t come off as trauma dumping 😖

Hi anon! I don't know if I'm the right person to answer this bc I'm definitely a lazy femme who doesn't have the energy to be high femme, and the advice I'm going to give you is something you've probably heard a million times before.

If someone dislikes you enough to dump you on your birthday, you are better off without them. This goes for any other special occasion as well. The first time I got dumped, they very politely waited until I got back from a special trip I was on so it wouldn't be ruined, and I'm really glad for that. It made everything amicable and we're still penpals to this day. It sounds like your ex was bad at communicating the problems they were having in the relationship, given the blowup, and reacted pretty immaturely tbh. That's not the kind of person you want to spend your life with. (I'm also very wary of people who get married after less than a year of knowing each other, but that's a separate issue)

Honestly the best advice I can give you, and you're probably going to hate this, is take a break from looking for a sexual/romantic relationship. Focus on the other relationships in your life, whether they're with friends or family or even coworkers. And spend time with yourself. Definitely don't change everything about yourself to be with someone because you're going to have to live with yourself your whole life. The most important person to like you is going to be yourself. If you want to change think about expanding rather than dumping everything and picking something new.

And on the topic of finding someone who will love you the way you are, your best goal is to be patient, and to take action when you feel ready. Don't settle with someone who tolerates you or you'll end up like my parents (bad). And if you feel like there's potential, don't be afraid to make the first move. Pining is fun until it's not anymore so it's better to skip that part sometimes lol

Practical speaking here's my advice:

Delete your dating apps for a while

Get yourself a vibrator

Go to the movies by yourself

Pick up a new physical hobby like gardening or woodworking or cooking, something you can touch

If you hate your new hobby drop it and try something else

Try a new restaurant you've never been to before

Go for a walk/sit in a park weather permitting and birdwatch

And if you're seriously suicidal, take inventory of yourself and see if you can come up with a plan to avoid that headspace. Therapy and meds helped for me, but the main thing was moving out of a toxic environment. Plus I'm not stupid enough to pretend that therapy fixes everything all the time

I guess I'm saying you should date yourself, but trying to not make it sound super corny lol. I hope this helps and I hope you can figure out how to get out of your rut. I'm rooting for you!

[animezinglife]

You’ll get to a point where you’re at peace with it, and I think there’s a difference between “what-ifs” or wistful longing versus still being in love with someone.

If we’re using “love” loosely and including childhood/teen years, I’m not at all in contact with my first and have no way of being--though after a fairly aggressive bout of curiosity, I did do some digging and discovered he’s now married. My second and I are still friends, and he’s happily married with two beautiful kids. He's wonderful. His wife is wonderful, and I'm genuinely happy they found each other.

My most recent...I’m less in contact with him than I used to be. Practically not at all anymore. We were always kind of teetering on that line anyway and he hadn’t fully healed from his previous breakup. They’re back together now, and that was the first time I’ve ever had to work through any real jealousy (something I’d never felt before--it's just not my nature). I didn’t treat him any differently (aside from just not flirting with him at all anymore) and didn’t really show it, but there was a point where I genuinely hated seeing her anywhere: on social media, TV, etc. Fortunately though, I was always rational enough to realize I wasn’t mad at him or her, just at the situation and that it was nobody’s fault.

I’m definitely not in love with him anymore if that’s what we’ll call it, and I’ve also realized that a lot of my internal emotional attachment had to do with everything else that was going on in my life rather than what our relationship actually was. I was in a horrible situation at the time, he was a friend to me, and mentally, I’d kind of clung onto him as the only light I could see at the end of the tunnel. That, obviously, was extremely unhealthy in retrospect and wasn't something I fully realized I was doing at the time.

He was one of the few I was around back then who I genuinely had a lot of beliefs/values in common with. He was intelligent and funny. He was devastatingly, unfairly good-looking and was very confident--that did a number in its own way. He was unapologetically forward, but in a way that didn't cross a line.

But now, I more clearly see why it wouldn't work. Yes, we had a great connection. We had fun together. I felt safe with him and he relaxed completely around me. Yet his goals and what he wants out of his life are too different than mine and he'll never want to live anywhere again but Big City Texas. He's not at all stupid, but frankly, he's too aggressive with his finances. Part of that is his profession, and the other part is simply his ambition.

No matter what our situation is, I always take a step back from guy friends when they enter relationships. I want to give them their space and for their girlfriends to understand I am just a friend and that that’s not going to change. As a result, I’ve gained some pretty awesome new gals in my life because they so quickly realize they can trust me (and him, obviously) and we usually have some things in common.

You’re not crazy for still thinking about your first love, though. I still think about my first crush sometimes and it’s been over fifteen years. Nine or ten with the second, with about seven since I've last seen him. I also clearly recognize that I don't know the first at all anymore and wouldn't have even recognized him had I not found that one, semi-recent picture. He's lived a life so incredibly different than mine anyway that aside from one or two small hobbies, we would likely have nothing in common. I can't even pretend to understand what he does for a living, nor would I ever be able to. I'm confident his wife is better equipped to handle the kind of lifestyle being with him would bring.

But here’s the gentle nudge towards closure I will offer: I also never communicated my feelings with either of them. You made your intentions clear, so if he didn’t step up to meet them, he’s also communicated his with you. I know when I cast the third one a "what-if" opportunity, he stayed where he was. It hurt at the time, but it told me what I needed to know. He faltered a little--we both did--but I'm glad he was able to stick to his decision. It ended up being the right choice for both.

You never know what may or may not happen in the future, so for now, peace and acceptance with where you both are now is a healthy goal.

Do I admittedly have some weird, irrational, lingering feelings for them? Absolutely, but I'm also fully at peace and able to move forward with where we are presently. I understand that a lot of those feelings pertain to the idea of them rather than who either is now or how if at all we would be together at the current point in our lives.

That gets easier in time and you simply don't dwell on it.

Your past loves--or even just people who were significant in your life--can be valuable learning opportunities. I know I have a much clearer sense of the kind of partner I need than I did before. I know myself better and am more in touch with my strengths in relationships and shortcomings.

However this ends up, you will grow from it. Do what you can to embrace that lesson whether or not it creates the result you're hoping for.

some of you guys probably had a first love, right? wether it's when you were a child or an adult. i wonder if you guys are actually still in contact with your first love or not. what's your relationship with them now? I had quite an experience with my first love.

i just wanted to rant about my first love. me and him relationship are definitely distant now. before we went to high school, we were really really close. we had mutual feelings for each other but guess that didn't last long when we entered high school. i was in love with him for 7 years. a crazy feat tbh. im honestly asking myself on the what if. what if i didn't confessed my feelings to him? what if i just stayed quiet? would me and him still be close as we once were? it's crazy how i rejected everyone who confessed to me because of him. maybe it's my fault? tbh i changed quite alot in my opinion ever since 2021. something happened that make me really quiet than i used too. well ever since i was a child i have always been like that anyway. maybe because of my tone? my dry tone? idk? even though me and him are distant now.. i just wish he didn't ignored me like i wasn't there. god really loved putting me near him, sitting near him, make me in the same group as him. literally if someone knew me and him relationship ppl would've thought that we're a couple who broke up and coincidentally became classmates. i hate august. august was the month i confessed to him. august was the month he started to ignore me and never making conversation with me. tbh, i knew he would like one of the girls in the class. they were very much more friendly than me. irl im definitely the least popular one. i don't stuck out that much. gawddamn... even though i told myself i have already moved on why do i still feel something aches when i saw him giving chocolates to a girl? seeing him being friendly with the other girls and talking to them more than me now make me uhhh idk hahaha make me jealous. it felt like the time where he always talk to me back in the day.

OK GOODBYE IM DONE TALKING ABOUT HIM. am i still in love with him or smth... idk?? sorry lololol

[neocatharsis]

NCT’s Taeyong Talks About His Drive As A Trainee, Goals For NCT And Himself As An Artist, And More

NCT’s Taeyong has participated in a solo photoshoot with W Korea!

In the accompanying interview, Taeyong spoke about writing the lyrics for “Beautiful,” the title track on NCT’s last full album “Universe.” He explained, “2021 was a year that made me realize ‘There are so many beautiful things around me.’ I realized that life could become happy and beautiful through even the smallest things and that there are countless ways to create that. Because of that, I wanted to tell people who are diligently moving forward towards their dreams, ‘With that alone, you can be proud!'”

He elaborated on his lyric writing process by sharing what he does when he gets stuck. “I ask for advice from people around me or listen to songs about situations similar to mine. I have thoughts like, ‘I’m in this kind of situation, but why is that?’ ‘Why do I feel this way?’ ‘What kind of experience led to this song?’ and ‘It’s similar to me…’ After a few days, I think of new things to write [as lyrics]. Also, when I’m showering or cleaning my room is when I’m able to organize my lyrics best.”

Despite being an incredible performer now, when Taeyong was a trainee, the teachers often did not know how to move forward with him because he was so unfamiliar with dance. Taeyong discussed his dedication to achieve success, sharing, “When I was in middle school, I told my parents that I wanted to go to an arts high school. That’s why my mom helped me start various hobbies. Among those, my favorites were basketball, art, and piano, and I enjoyed rapping with my friends. But I didn’t think that my hobbies would turn into dreams. After I entered the agency, I approached [training] with this mindset. ‘This is the only road for me.’ I think I felt a bit of euphoria that there were people who would enjoy and be happy when I worked hard at something.”

Taeyong continued, “Through thoughts of ‘I better not let those people down because they believe in me,’ I was able to practice more diligently and for longer. When I lose confidence, I seek out my friends. Once I meet up with people who listen to my concerns and show their support, I don’t go out of my way to compare myself to others and I naturally think of things I want to do. Honestly, I’m tone deaf and have no sense of rhythm. I still think I’m that way. Since I know what I lack, I think I have no choice but to continue working hard.”

Throughout various units of NCT, Taeyong was asked when he felt he experienced the most growth. Taeyong answered, “I remember a lot from my debut song ‘The 7th Sense‘ in 2016 to ‘BOSS‘ in 2018. The more I performed, the most clear my movements became and I was able to watch my growth in expression. Every moment I was on stage was so important and precious and I didn’t want to let anyone down. At the time, I worked excessively hard. But I think I am the way I am today because of that.”

Taeyong also compared and contrasted his two hobbies of drawing and making music. He shared, “There are a lot of times when I draw using the music I made as a theme. It’s fun to express the colors, shapes, and animals that I think of when listening to that song. Or I write phrases and draw graffiti-like cartoon characters which makes time fly by.”

Taeyong added, “If you say that making music expresses myself in a more specific manner, I think drawing has the same meaning to me as having a pet fish or cleaning. Also, dancing in the practice room after I’m done work or on a day off is the same as resting to me so I don’t think of it at all as work. In a way, I think I’m a lucky person whose current work coincides with what they want to do.”

Last September, NCT 127’s third studio album “Sticker” debuted on the Billboard 200 at No. 3 and has gone on to become the longest-charting K-pop album of 2021, with the record now at 17 consecutive weeks and counting. Ever since debuting on the Billboard 200 in 2018, NCT 127 has slowly but surely climbed their way to the top of the chart.

Taeyong touched on his goals moving forward, saying, “I always think, ‘I want to protect this team for a long time.’ Although I’m a leader who is lacking in different ways, along with my members, I want to show more things that only [NCT] 127 can do and with the potential that [NCT] 127 has, I want to create even more memories with fans. We’ve already achieved a lot and made happy memories of cool performances, but I want to continue improving and become a long-running team.”

In terms of what kind of artist Taeyong wants to become, he shared, “I want the songs and lyrics I write to become strength to others. As a trainee, after I figured out ‘I’m someone who feels happiness while giving other people happiness,’ I wanted to support others through the work that I’m best at. I enjoy creating performances and I also like moving [the emotions] of others. After continuously doing this work, someday I’d like to become a concert director or choreographer and live while helping and giving direction to artists who are working while thinking similar thoughts as me.”

Looking back on 2021, Taeyong chose moments where he thought to himself, “You did well.” He explained, “I started Instagram and made a SoundCloud. I liked gaining a new method of communication with fans. It feels like gaining another space to express myself. Through that passage, it feels like I’ve danced, sung, and rapped so… I think I did well.”!

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