#now hes in charge of a bunch of clowns

[brunettemarionette]

𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮

☾‧₊˚ ⋅ ― female reader. no description of features. no mentions of size, race or age.

🇲​​🇦​​🇮​​🇳​ ​🇲​​🇦​​🇸​​🇹​​🇪​​🇷​​🇱​​🇮​​🇸​​🇹​ 💜​🇸​​🇴​​🇦​ ​🇲​​🇦​​🇸​​🇹​​🇪​​🇷​​🇱​​🇮​​🇸​​🇹​

𝗝𝗮𝘅 ☾‧₊˚ ⋅

Jax spots the guy leaning in too close to you, spouting off some pathetic attempt at a pickup line while tossing in a jab about “wannabe biker boys.” His lips twitch into a deadly smirk as he struts over, confidence oozing with every step.

“Hey, babe,” he says smoothly, wrapping an arm around your waist, his icy blue eyes locking on the clueless idiot. “This clown bothering you?”

When the guy stammers, Jax leans in, his voice dropping low. “Y’know, I’d think twice before badmouthing my club. Especially when I’m the President. But since you didn’t know…” He gives a sharp, humourless laugh. “You’ve got about three seconds to walk away before this gets messy.”

The guy practically trips over himself as he scurries off, and Jax turns back to you, flashing that charming grin. “You alright, darlin’? Let’s get outta here.”

𝗥𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼����𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗧𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗲𝘀:

Aggressively Supportive & Protective

𝗖𝗵𝗶𝗯𝘀 ☾‧₊˚ ⋅

Chibs doesn’t even bother hiding the cold steel in his gaze as he hears the man flirt with you, his Scottish accent turning sharp as glass when he interrupts.

“Yer sure talkin’ a big game for someone who doesn’t know whose girl he’s chattin’ up,” Chibs drawls, stepping between you and the idiot.

The guy scoffs, mentioning something about “bikers and daddy issues,” and that’s all it takes for Chibs’ deadly smirk to surface. “Aye, that’s cute. Now, I’ve got a wee bit of advice for ye: you leave now, or I’ll give ya somethin’ to cry about.”

The guy falters at the glint in Chibs’ eyes, backing off immediately. Once he’s gone, Chibs tilts his head toward you, his voice softening. “You good, love? Let’s grab a drink.”

𝗥𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗧𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗲𝘀:

Snarky Power Couple That Can, And Probably Will, Destroy You

𝗧𝗶𝗴  ☾‧₊˚ ⋅

Tig hears the guy’s comment about how “guys in leather are overcompensating” and loses it. He storms over, practically buzzing with energy, his wild eyes daring the guy to say another word.

“Excuse me? You got somethin’ to say about me, buddy?” Tig growls, his tone loud enough to make everyone turn and stare.

The guy freezes, trying to laugh it off, but Tig’s already in his face, pointing at you. “You see her? She’s with me. Me. So if you’re gonna keep running your mouth, you’d better hope you’re faster than I am. Spoiler alert: you’re not.”

The guy stammers out an apology and bolts, leaving Tig to turn back to you with a grin. “See that? Chased him off. No one messes with my girl.”

𝗥𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗧𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗲𝘀:

Thinks They're In Charge (Tig) x Is Actually In Charge (You)

𝗢𝗽𝗶𝗲 ☾‧₊˚ ⋅

Opie hears the guy call SAMCRO a “bunch of thugs” while shamelessly flirting with you. He clenches his fists, his jaw ticking as he approaches. He towers over the guy, his deep voice calm but dangerous.

“Got a problem with my club?” Opie asks, his sheer size and quiet intensity enough to make the guy gulp.

When the man stutters, Opie steps closer, his eyes like granite. “And you think hitting on my girl is a good idea? You’re either real stupid or looking for trouble.”

The guy quickly backpedals, muttering apologies as he slinks away. Opie watches him go, then turns to you with a small smile. “You alright? Let’s head out before I change my mind about letting him walk away.”

𝗥𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗧𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗲𝘀:

Home Is Wherever You Are

𝗛𝗮𝗽𝗽𝘆 ☾‧₊˚ ⋅

Happy doesn’t need to say much. The second he hears the guy say something about “bikers being all talk,” he strides over silently, his expression as unreadable as ever.

He steps between you and the guy, looking him up and down with cold, assessing eyes. “You like your teeth where they are?” Happy asks, his voice low and gravelly.

The guy blinks, confused, but the pure menace radiating off Happy is enough to make him reconsider whatever dumb thing he was about to say. “N-no problem, man. I was just leaving.”

Happy watches him go, then turns to you with a rare smirk. “You good? Let’s go.”

𝗥𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗧𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗲𝘀:

Unaware in public (you) x Overprotective in public (Happy)

𝗝𝘂𝗶𝗰𝗲 ☾‧₊˚ ⋅

Juice hears the guy call SAMCRO a “bunch of wannabes” while trying to charm you, and he immediately stiffens. He’s not the most intimidating at first glance, but the second he speaks, his tone is sharp.

“You might wanna rethink what you’re saying,” Juice says, stepping up beside you, his eyes narrowing. “That ‘wannabe’ club? That’s my family.”

The guy laughs nervously, trying to brush it off, but Juice isn’t backing down. “And her?” He points at you. “She’s my girl. So why don’t you take your crappy lines somewhere else before I make you regret opening your mouth?”

The guy stumbles over an apology before fleeing, and Juice exhales, turning back to you. “You okay? Let’s get out of here before I really lose it.”

𝗥𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗧𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗲𝘀:

You Fell First, But He Fell Harder

𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗺𝗲 𝗦𝗼𝗻𝗴

Bad Company by Five Finger Death Punch

[d3d9]

Akira Main Character Map

another translation, this time of the character map from the AKIRA WORLD Hot Dog Press/Young Magazine special edition. I've wanted to do a full TL of the magazine eventually, but haven't found the time so I only did the CYOA game until now. However someone requested this so here it is. Nothing really new or exciting, but some of the character descriptions are funny, especially Kaneda's...

(sorry for my trash scans, if anyone can provide a better quality i would love you<3)

More under the cut !

Neo Tokyo Government

Don't think of anything but their own self-protection. A shameful bunch. Only one of them, the Colonel, is seriously thinking of what to do about “AKIRA”. An organization that gives a look at what the government will become in the near future(?). None of them understand the power of “AKIRA”, and none try to.

Masaru (Number 27)

Although not as strong as Takashi’s, he definitely has psychic powers. Like Kiyoko, he can’t walk on his own and sits in a baby chair, but he has the power to levitate so he can act on his own to some extent.

Kiyoko (Number 25)

She has excellent precognitive abilities, and foretold Akira’s awakening. Unable to walk on her own, she’s always laying in her capsule bed. She is like a madonna figure for Takashi and Masaru. She also can be said to be leader of the two of them.

Takashi (Number 26)

One of the residents of the Colonel’s lab. He has strong psychic powers. Mistaken for Akira and kidnapped by the revolutionary army, he was walking in the middle of the road in Neo Tokyo when he came into contact with Tetsuo.

Dr.

Chief researcher of the Colonel’s lab. He is the one who is in charge of Akira, who rests in a frozen capsule. A stereotypical academic type, he also has an idealistic side. In one scene, the Colonel called him a ‘romanticist’.

Colonel

Commander in chief of the country’s top secret ‘Akira Plan’. For the purpose of executing this plan, he manages a lab (research facility) where Takashi, Kiyoko and Masaru live. Kiyoko’s prophecy confirms that Akira will awaken, and he demands an outrageous budget to prevent this from happening. He plays the role of “a dependable soldier”.

Kaneda's Bike Team

Self proclaimed delinquent boys in excellent health, a group who does whatever they want. They’re so popular among bad boys, they even have groupies somehow. On very bad terms with the drug addicted Clown Team, they have a strong sense of team unity.

Tetsuo

While driving wild on the highway with Kaneda and the gang late at night, he comes into contact with Takashi. This awakens an unknown power in him, and he even turns against Kaneda, his friend since their days at the children’s home. It's pretty thought-provoking that a guy who was withdrawn until now suddenly gets a big attitude......?

Kaori

Tetsuo’s girlfriend. She stays by Tetsuo’s side when his psychic powers awaken, and is a pure, innocent beautiful(?) girl, which is rare these days.

Yamagata

The team’s second in command, he takes the role of special attack leader. However, he meets a tragic end as he is killed by Tetsuo who’s started to go berserk. This ignites Kaneda’s desire for revenge!

Kaneda

The team leader. He gets wrapped up in the conflict between the revolutionaries and the army surrounding Akira. A super toughguy with the lifeforce of a cockroach.

Kai

He doesn’t stand out much in the team, but plays an important role helping Kaneda in the latter half of the story. Dresses himself in tasteful trad fashion, but is simple at heart.

People's Revolutionary Army

An organized terrorist group, in a manner of speaking. They control things politically behind the scenes and are at Nezu's beck and call. In pursuit of the secret of Akira, their clashes with the Colonel-led army are a daily occurrence. They are a considerably large scale organization.

Kei

A strong-minded, beautiful girl with combat ability and initiative. She met Kaneda while escaping a failed attempt to take back Akira. They make for a unique odd couple, but unfortunately never had a ♡ scene.

Ryuu

A leader of the People’s Revolutionary Army. One of the few people who knows Akira’s true identity. He attempts to take back Akira under Nezu’s orders, but what will happen!?

Nezu

Leader of a party that is in opposition to the current administration. Behind the scenes, he manipulates Ryu’s guerrilla organization in an attempt to obtain Akira. Textbook example of a scheming politician. As his name suggests, he’s a nasty, sly rat-like man.

Clowns

Joker

Boss of the murderous motorcycle gang, the Clowns. In a massive brawl with Kaneda’s team, he sent many people to the hospital using his huge body and superhuman strength. However, he has a total weakness in the brains department.

Other

Miyako-sama

Founder of a new religion whose influence is growing in Neo Tokyo. Nezu is an ardent believer of this religion. She is powerful enough to foresee the disaster that would be caused by Akira, but in the anime she was sadly changed to just a pathetic praying old lady. However in the original work she is a powerful person rivalling Akira.

Relation lines:

Takashi <-X-> Tetsuo

Dr. -His test subject->Tetsuo

Colonel -Sponsors-> Dr.

Miyako-sama -Foresees the arrival of-> Akira

Tetsuo -Looking for-> Akira

Tetsuo <-♡-> Kaori

Tetsuo <-X-> Kaneda

Kaneda -Friend- Yamagata

Kaneda -Friend- Kai

Kaneda's Team -X- Clowns

Kei <-♡-> Kaneda

Kei -♡-> Ryuu

Nezu -Mastermind-> Kei and Ryuu

[aggravatetheaxe]

dethklok plays WoW

Nathan - main tank. Horde of course. Probably orc. His only toon. Absolutely a blood death knight both for aesthetic and because you know he's pulling top dps in addition to holding agg on everything in the room. Guild leader, does not take his title seriously but will still kick your ass if you bail on raid night. likes pvp but prefers pve

Pickles - plays mostly trolls, has 2 or 3 toons, probably also has an ugly forsaken and an ugly goblin (although goblin is a later race so depends on the year). Cat druid, often forced to spec into healing because mythic dungeons are only 5 man. But prefers to be cat or combat rogue. Incredible dps when he's allowed to do dps. not nurturing at all as a healer, WILL let you die if you piss him off (unless you're Nathan, but Nathan never dies). loves both pvp and pve but gets super steamed during pvp

Skwisgaar - paladin paladin paladin. Belf, of course. has secret female alts as well as secret ally alts. constantly adding his girlfriends to the guild and taking shit from the bank without asking. But he doesn't get in trouble because his dps is second to none - topping the charts even over Nathan. Ret pally, could technically heal with holy but his dps is just so insane that they can't afford to have him healing. pvp is beneath him

Toki - altaholic. Lots of female toons, lots of ally toons, gets bullied for both. Really wants to main a hunter so he can have a bunch of cute animal companions (and because it would be easier dps) but the others say that's gay so his main is a frost DK. the others make him spec into unholy because his crowd control brings clusters together so that Skwis and Nathan can wipe them out. So, so fucking angry that he never gets to do any actual dps because his plagues never get the chance to stack - and despite knowing it's a DOT issue the others clown on him for being the absolute bottom of the dps chart. pvp is too hard for him, no one protects him and everyone picks on him

Murderface - orc arms warrior and tauren fury warrior, dps but mostly off tank. makes cringe jokes (abt both native americans and milking) if tauren. One secret ally toon (human no less), also a warrior, that he uses to /walk around stormwind and RP badly. constantly brags about his dps but he's actually garbage, only above toki. makes a big deal out of his rank in the guild but he actually has no bank privileges. loves self harm through pvp

Charles - undead disc priest. a few alts, equal numbers male and female but almost all undead. probably a GM. heals when pickles is on dps and there's room or in a raid setting. guild treasurer, full bank permissions, has to constantly police the boys and spends thankless hours filling the bank back up with pots, food, etc. Also in charge of recruiting, so he should just be guild lead at this point but he dutifully never complains :) plays an affliction warlock and a couple rogues (combat and assassination) on a different server, when the boys give him one free fucking moment to do his own thing

Magnus - used to be a super powerful destro warlock that matched skwisgaar in dps. was super involved in the guild, help build it into what it was, contributed lots of materials, consumables, and money to the bank. Recruited some of their best players. after a horrific falling out (he was the asshole in the situation; controlling, etc) he was kicked from the guild and replaced. has since (due to wotlk) abandoned his warlock for a death knight. now he has a forever grudge and badmouths dethklok any chance he gets, but the majority of the server knows he's the drama so he has trouble finding others to play with. because of this he's been forced to switch over to alliance side. hence he falls in with...

MMA & the revengencers: MMA is yet another DK, probably blood, guild lead of the revengencers - rival guild to dethklok, constantly butting heads with them in pvp, ganking their low level members/alts, just generally being a nuisance. MMA wants revenge for Nathan (with the help of GM charles) getting his OG account banned

Edgar - human arcane mage main ("actually, the rotation is quite simple"). has lots of female alts. treasurer of the revengencers, takes everything way way way too seriously. Definitely works for blizzard or is a GM. very tense, sometimes outright hostile, relationship with Charles despite being essentially coworkers. "umm you sir have won the internet" "updoot" guy in chat. full collection of mounts, even the rare and/or limited edition ones

[blacklegsanjiii]

i think truly the most absurd parenting scenario we could put sanji in is with Real Pirate King Buggy 🦅🦅🦅🦅

Sanji would really suit that like. commedia dell’arte venetian theatre. Sanji would make a fine Arlecchino or Tartaglia (both lover roles, but Arlecchino or ‘the Harlequin’ is often a trickster character too)

Buggy would unironically be an incredible father tho. like. i am fully confident that there is nothing Buggy doesn’t excell in despite his pathetic soppy wet cat existence. He’s a COMPETENT soppy wet cat.

Sanji growing up as an acrobat in Buggy’s circus and getting doted on by all the crew oh ya know he’d love the dramatic flamboyance of it all.

Listen.

Listen, you're cooking. And it smells GREAT! But I think we need to adjust the seasoning a bit. Buggy managed to successfully hide in the East Blue and be forgotten from Roger's crew and all his adversaries. Like Buggy has to be running a network of some sort. He probably has informants in the New World ya know? For sure in the Grand Line.

I don't really fuck with Shuggy ATM(crossguild brain rot) but like also Buggy probably knows about Usopp and Luffy and that's part of why he signed the(forged) adoption papers. Sanji is also probably skilled with all sorts of weapons? His kitchen knives are not weapons but like he has a set of knives that are always hidden on him. He probably shows Usopp a bunch of spices and stuff that are good for bombs and Nami and Robin are confused about exactly how much in universe Shakespeare, albeit Robin is impressed. Luffy just knows but imagine Zoro finds out when the cook, who doesn't fight with his hands just swallows a Marines sword to distract them right before Luffy Gum Gum Pistols them.

Rayleigh talks more about Shanks and Sanji is just looking at his nails and briefly brings up Buggy. And Sanji can't help himself when he says "at least he's not a dead beat, he didn't abandon me" which makes Robin laugh and Luffy and Usopp ask what means and Sanji is like "you both haven't seen the Redhair crew since you were in the single digits, Buggy saw me at Baratie three weeks before you lot wrecked it and he would stop by every couple of weeks normally" And the crew is shook.

Like then Sanji just proudly showing everyone his photo of the Buggy Pirates, him, and Buggy in the adoption office and then again with just Buggy and Sanji and the paper and the jolly Roger. Rayleigh is having heart palpitations as Nami, Luffy, and Zoro scream at how lame his dad is and Sanji is like "oh you guys are the reason he's in Impel Down this makes sense" and Rayleigh is losing it. Shakky is laughing so hard. Rayleigh asks if anyone is planning to get Buggy out of prison and Sanji shrugs and says the lion is in charge now.

And then after the time skip to the forming of the crossguild everyone keeps shitting on. Like imagine Mihawk and Croc walking into Buggy's tent and seeing Black Leg Sanji as a child in full clown get up sitting on his own head in a photo and next to it is the adoption photo. When they ask Buggy about it hes just like "oh yeah, I adopted him at ten. Saw him all the time after he started at Baratie. Unfortunate he's not out of his civilian phase yet." And Croc and Mihawk are reeling. "Then again I think having to relive his trauma in Germa and with Big Mom probably didn't help, oh well. I'll talk to him about it when I see him."

When they see each other is some meeting between the Hats, the Guild and Redhair Pirates Luffy and Usopp are really happy to see their dad's. Sanji is probably being passed around by Buggy's crew and petting Richie who has him pinned to the ground and Crocodile is groaning that the clown's kid did the whole Mr. Prince thing and Shanks is confused because "you didn't tell me you had a brat?"

"well I legally adopted him eleven years ago and when Garp found out he said I was a better dad than you and Roger and Rayleigh so."

[helenapsent]

Now a little bit about why this particular choice:

Thrax - the leader of the group First of all, it is literally a disease that will bring down anyone, and secondly, Trax himself is a very punchy fellow, he has brains, charisma and leadership qualities, moreover, with one touch he can melt the victim in one minute.

Ruber - a mountain of muscles There's no need for explanations, you've figured it out from his title.

Jester - a future traitor He's just a life rat, he's true to his goals and will achieve them at any cost

Pal Palych - adequate Yeah, he's well-read, yeah, he's normal, as a dude with a fountain of ideas, he's fine.

Schadenfreude - useless but handsome In fact he doesn't create anything with his hands, and he is a master strategist, but in fact he is of little use, but for pretty eyes and a fur coat I will keep him

First Minister or Waldemar - megabrain A genius of planning and efficient economics, I have nothing more to add.

Richard - will die first Why? Because he can't control himself, and he's a very loud fellow. He'll turn himself in the first chance he gets. But he will leave behind a huge fortune and a bunch of new technologies that make life easier, and his contribution will be valuable.

Buggy - clown Actual clown, actual soul of the company, mascot of the whole team.

Kesam - doesn't fucking do anything, but fucks up the most Yes.

Sota - son of mom's friend In his hands literally everything turns to gold, he is very active, effective and bright, accomplishes all tasks in time, that's what he is and the son of mom's friend))

Thriffith - the only one who believes in victory Absolutely charged for success and absolutely confident in every step of the team, and in general, he will not be broken, he will go to the victorious one

[itspikamefan]

Made a Doc that I THINK has all the necessary evidence needed cor the Upcoming Trial but anyways Ive fallen way too hard for Tetro Pink so here’s my theory on the killer!

Link to said Doc btw:

With that out of tbe way here’s my suspect list:

Watari, Tamba, Masa, and Hiroaki: Its probably rather presumptuous to say anyone isn’t the culprit, but IDRC because Im like 99% certain none of these fuckers are the culprit. (Okazaki is also part of this group but I have a theory on her for later). Watari and Tamba gave a rock solid Alibi for the night, Masa was one of the people to discover the body, and Hiroaki just doesn’t feel like it would. Between him taking charge of the group, being too much of an asshole, and just generally being scared of blood, I don’t think he did it. He also has an alibi it’s just not as solid…

Tsuno, Kamimura, and Wada: I don’t think any of these guys are the culprit, but unlike the former 4 (Or 5 Rather) I could potentially see them. However, I do think they all have solid defenses. Tsuno was taking care of Wada while he healed. Wada was… well… unconscious … And Kamimura claimed to have been in his room all night with Hasegawa (Not to mention helped a bunch with the case). And also just as the Ultimate Crime Scene Cleaner him leaving THAT much blood just doesn’t make sense.

Hanagi and Hayashi: The only Woman who I think would be most likely to do this + The man who is an obviously pretty decent suspect. They aren’t my personal top suspects but I can definitely say they have reason to kill or accidentally kill Chiba. Im not going to say for certain but either one of them does have that possibility.

Ojima and Hasegawa: Both are definitely suspicious as fuck. Ojima sleeping in Hiroaki’s room and SUDDENLY a bloodstain is on the Bottom of Hiroaki’s mattress?! Nuh uh, I don’t buy it. Not to mention him spacing out the whole investigation. Then again that sort of his disability so I can’t really call him sus for that but still… Suspicious.

And as for Hasegawa, Originally It hought he was safe due Kamimura’s Alibi, however late testimony unveiled that Harada saw him put in the hallway. Now is it possible Harada is lying? Definitely. Is it also possible Hasegawa accidentally murdered Chiba and Kamimura is just covering for him? Strong possibility.

And before we get to our Obvious Prime Suspect…

Okazaki: Y’all cannot tell me this masked bitch is not suspect as fuck. However, her alibi clearly means that she was not the killer. So what’s her deal then? Simple. She tampered with the crime scene. My guess is the Real Killer moved Chiba’s body to the Medbay to try and save her but failed and left her there, and the Okazaki, to make the murder more “Interesting”, pulled the Byakuya Togami ass move and hung her body from the ceiling, including putting her Pajamas on her to hide her injuries (With her assuming no one would be able to get her without the ladder, which she probably also disassembled). So yeah, Okazami villainous as fuck. I fucking know it.

And finally… That leads to our Prime Suspect and most likely Culprit…

Harada

Yeah I’m sorry y’all, but you can’t tell me it doesn’t make sense. His alibi is… rather lackluster, his only verifiable witness being Hasegawa (Which we can’t even confirm). Him being on the search for his motive item, his past, his connection to Chiba, and all the other potential unknowns, I can’t not suspect Harada. I will say that y’all can feel free to clown on me if he isn’t the culprit, but I’m like 90% sure we’re losing Animal Boy Next week. Sorry y’all :(

Anyways that’s just my piece but let me know your thoughts!!!

[waitmyturtles]

THE MORNING AFTER: ONLY FRIENDS, EPISODE 1 ("MY PHONE'S STILL NOT WORKING?!") META EDITION

(Unless something changes, I'll be letting loose my Only Friends episodic meta a day late from now to October -- mommy duties call on the weekends! Saturday nights'll be for that GMMTV good-good from here on out.)

So, yesterday's episode was great. I totally enjoyed reading everyone's unhinged pleasure at the first episode yesterday, and I reblogged a whole bunch of stuff and picked up on some early theories. Jojo, Ninew, and Den were having a grand time on Twitter, and it was just a lot of fun to track (JOJO).

Before getting into the meta, just to put this on the record: my first expected and/or hoped-for clown checkpoint is a confirmed and committed throuple (NOT the missed threesome we almost got in this episode, but damn it, missed opportunity!). I understand that @respectthepetty and @shortpplfedup have separately originated a murder/manslaughter clown checkpoint (thanks, @slayerkitty, for THAT heads-up, lol) (and see below re: Mew), which tracks with Jojo's previous comparison to 3 Will Be Free -- am I HOPING for murder? Maybe I'm not HOPING for murder, but for what I'm about to muse on, maybe it won't be a surprise?

@cookie-kat777 (here) and @isaksbestpillow (here) and so many more folks out there are positing that something the fuck is UP with Mew, and I agree. I find him to the the most interesting character so far, simply because he's the only one who's not letting his actions fully tell his story -- he's almost fully in charge of his narrative, as opposed to everyone else so far (Ray, obvious pained drunk; Sand, obviously broke and tired of the BS, cc: @neuroticbookworm, etc).

My read on the kitchen scene is that Mew knew beforehand that he would stop Top in his tracks prior to letting Top in. Mew is clearly a game-player, slamming that bell during bar trivia (....... y'all, that was a HELL of a lot of drinking for bar trivia, HA), and it just struck me that there was a "win" in Mew getting Top to move towards commitment before Mew gives up his thang. I smell narcissism on the dude. Mew's not acting like a blushing maiden, quite the opposite, he knew FULL WELL what he was doing when he let Top in -- but I want to know his goal in getting Top to settle down and in first.

And moving towards faen in a week? (A WEEK?!) (UM.) For Top to bag commit to Mew -- a virgin! -- that quickly, particularly in the face of the conversation he had previously had with Boston about getting with Mew in the first place: what's Top's ultimate priority here, as well? Top's going to commit to someone he hasn't slept with yet? Color me surprised. What, to show up Boston? Is that how playas play? I dunno, we'll see. I'm not sure that Boston is a strong enough reason. Maybe there's a male-toxicity-driven shallange that's coloring this narrative, but I'll wait to find out more.

Other quick thoughts: what's the source of Ray's pain that's driving him to multiple and regular black-outs? What's Sand so tired of? (Family strife, poverty, rich kids, etc. -- what's happening there). What's up with Cheum, Mew, and Boston leaving Ray to stumble to his car alone -- especially now that it's clear that he has a pattern of blacking out and showing up to school hungover?

I don't want to project, but I'm gonna: this is a hell of a heavy drinking crew, partying QUITE hard and regularly. If Jojo's previous references to at least Gay OK Bangkok stand, I'm wondering if one overarching commentary/lesson we're going to get out of Only Friends is -- escaping to the bottle is not the best way to mitigate yours or anyone else's issues. We know he's framed shows around health issues before, GOKB and The Warp Effect as the most prominent. Let's see.

Speaking of Gay OK Bangkok, I offer another OF clown checkpoint: in my review of GOKB, I posited that Pom of GOKB and Shin of 3 Will Be Free are avatars of a very similar character style -- virgins, glasses-wearing, and unassumingly wiley in their ability to survive in a competitive world. I think Mew joins that avatar crew, but in a much more insidious fashion. Let's see. I love that Jojo is playing around with this style.

One more clown checkpoint I'm gonna put out there is that Jojo and Ninew do not let the recent Thai political turmoil escape this show. I don't know HOW it'll even work, but I have my eyes sharply peeled, because the political craziness was going down literally as they were filming the show. We'll see -- I'll likely be wrong, but ya never know.

I think that's it! I LOVE Jennie, I can't wait to see Nonnie, and Drake -- welcome back to the boys, my friend. This episode was fantastic, but by FAR the best part about yesterday was seeing the filmmakers go totally insane on social media, hyping their work and their people -- damn. When the artists KNOW what they made is good, then that's just like, it's cookies for us. Jojo and Den are out there replying to fans, and it’s just awesome. What a ride already!

[playgroundeyes]

The Magnus Protocol 31 - Compartmentalising

CAT123RB5555-14052024-14052024

Before Statement:

Alice and Gwen find a severed hand shoved into the server of FR3-d1, with wires running through it, no blood anywhere, totally clean. They look away for a second, and then the hand is gone.

FR3-d1 starts beeping, and eventually, Gwen clicks to open the case.

The voice of Chester (Jonothan sims from the archives) starts talking, saying there's been a "fatal programmer error"

It then plays a short recording of Colin clearly getting ready to right with the computer, talking to it as if it can hear him (which it probably can, to be fair). He ends with, "Let's have at it!" and the recording ends.

Chester then starts reading out that the extension "Becher" (Colin's last name) has been compromised. there has been damage to the hardware with a crowbar and that administrator privelidge has been revoked. (Colin had administrator priveledge to control FR3-d1 to some degree? Does this now mean that FR2-d1 is basically doing whatever it wants? I mean it definitely seems so)

Extension Becher has been isolated / resolved. Independent operation permissions (FR3-d1 really does *not* want to be controlled anymore and likely won't be) have been revoked too.

There is a readout of the error, listing that a bunch of data from Colin has been discarded, and this data seems to just be elements of his body, eg. Oxygen, Carbon, Calcium (where is this being discarded to I wonder??) and then Extension Becher is resolved a mere three minutes after it was logged as an error. The JMJ error is not resolved.

After this, Alice and Gwen discuss whether they're now hostages of FR3-d1 and whether they can leave (willing to bet they can't) and Gwen seems to think that if they don't provoke FR3-d1 then they'll be okay. they decide they need to get Celia in.

There's a tiny, short snippet of Sam clearly lost and stumbling around somewhere. He keeps saying that he needs help.

Celia is alone in her house with Jack, and she's comforting him, saying that she's here and won't ever have to leave again, that everything's going to be okay now and that Sam will be okay too (she's cleary tyring to convince herself of this)

Just as Jack settles down the doorbell rings, and Alice comes in. She informs Celia that Colin's dead and that Gwen's in charge now. She also says that FR3-d1 killed Colin, and that Celia needs to get back to the office so they can sort everything out. Celia doesn't want to, she says that they can "choose not to get involved," and leave it up to the government.

Alice, confused, asks "But what about Sam?" and Celia says that he's gone, and won't come back. She elaborates that she thinks the thing in the basement of the Hilltop Center went to another world or universe, but she doesn't say why she know that, only that she "recognises it from a case." Celia discourages Alice's plan to go in after Sam, but Alice does convince her that she needs to come in and help somehow, because she owes it to Sam.

Celia sighs but agrees and calls her babysitter.

Gwen and Alice are now on a call, and Gwen's telling Alice that FR3-d1 is using the photocopier to print dozens of images of Colin's face, and it won't stop (why? What purpose would this serve aside from just being kinda creepy?)

Dave finds Sam out in the open, likely on a patrol, and rescues him from whatever monsters are around. Dave asks if Sam can whistle, because they've already picked up his scent, and therefore that's the only thing that can stop them, whistling a happy song. Sam starts whistling circus clown music, to which Dave objects (monsters of the stranger? I don't think circus music would have any bad effects if that was the case, definitley the opposite). Sam starts whistling another song, and Dave drags him to some kind of vhiecle and they drive off.

Dave takes him to their base, supposedly, and tells Sam that he needs to wait for the 'Captain' to arrive so that she can deal with him. Eventually she does, and it's Georgie (definitely thinking it's the alpha timeline now). Georgie asks Dave for a report, and he says that he and Heidi found him 'at the center of the mile' and that he's malnourished (at this point that's basically the symbol of travelling between timelines, like described in tmagp 17)

Georgie explains to Sam that he's in a warden facility on the edge of the london exclusion zone (area that was too damadged after the whole panopticon thing at the end of archives?) and that he was found in the middle of the square mile (likely another name for the exclusion zone) and got a ride in Gertrude (the vheicle he got taken here in). Georgie makes some references to domains and wonders how Sam got into the exclusion zone without being noticed.

Back in the protocol timeline, Alice, Gwen and Celia have a discussion about what they should do, and end up deciding that they will all stay in the job, if only to get Sam back. Celia only grudgingly agrees.

Statement (eye aligned):

Heidi is compelled by the Archivist to make a statement about her time during the apocalype in a domain of the Eye in London, about cameras that followed her everywhere, never giving respite always watching and recording and listening and searching. It ends with Heidi talking about how that trauma has stayed with her even since the end of the apocalypse, which has probably been about 4 ish years. She now talks directly to the Archivist who is recording her, saying that there's no place left for monsters, and that they will be the end of the Archivist and that she will watch.

(S2 MASTERPOST HERE)

[minu-moni]

22. …in a rush of adrenaline. Hell yeah gamkar! 😁

Okay so this was supposed to be short but I’m physically incapable of doing that I guess lmao.

But here it is!! (Hope tumblr doesn’t fuck up the editing 🙄)

How did things get this bad?

Karkat was used to fighting monsters at this point, from battle imps to the bigger ones, the escalation was smooth enough that he could easily grasp how attacks and defenses varied between enemies and adapt to them.

However, there he was, surrounded by a bunch of them and he couldn’t get through a single one without leaving himself opening to another. He felt like he was in the middle of a ring, waiting for the moment animals would jump at him and splatter his filthy guts for the world to see.

He ran and, while avoiding someone’s attack, ran up one of the bigger battle imp’s arm and jumped over their shoulder, taking advantage of the multiple failed attacks by the other enemies.

Fuck, there were a lot of them. Now that he’s more open he should be more careful to not get himself surrounded again. The trick wouldn’t work twice.

He slashed through an imp fusion of meowbeast and horrorterror and quickly collected the grist before running away.

As his legs moved him through the land, his eyes scanned his surroundings. Terezi and Nepeta has teamed up and were now doing combos against the battle imps. They seemed to be handling themselves just fine, if their laughs meant anything.

There weren’t many others on that land besides the two girls, Karkat and…

Wait.

Where the fuck was Gamzee?

Karkat lowered and avoided an attack coming from above before slashing the battle imp in half with his sickles. Shit, shit, shit, the place was crawling with monsters, now was the worst possible time to get that stupid, high-like-a-kite clown out of his sight!

Slashing through an imp’s legs and kicking it with his legs to make it fall over the others, Karkat started to frantically look around, looking for any clues to where his stupid clown was.

“God damnit, Gamzee. Now’s literally the worst fucking time!” Karkat growled to himself and took off running, avoiding all imps that charged at him and frantically looking around.

Gamzee couldn’t have just gone through a gate and left that world, right? He probably didn’t even know where the fucking gate was; Karkat sure as fuck didn’t.

An imp surprised Karkat from the side and almost clawed his belly out, missing at the last second when Karkat noticed its presence and jumped away. Before Karkat could take his sickles, something smashed the imp’s head from behind and it fell on the ground, one very bloody Gamzee clinging to its neck with his claws.

Karkat stared at him, stunned. Where did he come from? Karkat didn’t even have time to shout his name before he simply showed up from the void.

Karkat didn’t want to admit it, but he was worried for him. It wasn’t unlike Gamzee to disappear, but Karkat was entitled to his worry when the stupid clown disappeared in the middle of a battle with giant creatures, thank you very much.

“Are you okay, best friend?” Gamzee asked, rushing air into his lungs like he just fucking ran a marathon.

“God damnit, Gamzee, you scared the shit out of me!”

Gamzee’s shoulders shook with a laugh. “Sorry, best friend.”

Stepping hastily over the imp’s head, Karkat took Gamzee by the colar of his shirt and pulled him down to a hurried and messy kiss.

“Don’t fucking do that again, asshole. I thought you died for a second, fuck!” Karkat hissed and headbutted Gamzee in the forehead, almost making him stumble.

Gamzee chuckled and briefly nuzzled his nose against Karkat’s. “Okay, best friend. I promise.”

Karkat gave Gamzee a small bite on his nose and gathered his sickles again, ready to charge back into battle.

[saiacross]

Bonus Chapter 5: Surprise! : 1,210 : Series: Reader-Insert

This Work is part of an overarching story that can be read as a one-shot with little overlapping information from other chapters.

⬅ Chapter 25 A Watery Grave💜 Chapter 26: TBD ➡ Master List

Bonus Chapter 5: Surprise! After a case goes sideways the trio finds themselves in what Dean thought was a normal late-night bar. However, when the lights go out and the stage is lit up, Y/N decides to take control of the night's proceedings, and much to her delight she succeeds.

Dean shifted the Impala into the park, and the engine's hum gradually faded into silence. With a weary sigh, Dean leaned back, letting the tension escape his body.

Sam, sitting beside him, observed with an amused yet tired grin and asked, "You good?"

Dean responded with a gruff shake of his head, scratching the back of his head. "Dude, I don't get it. How do we go from hunting down a few vamps to babysitting a bunch of rugrats?"

Sam chuckled, recognizing Dean's knack for handling kids and the unique sparkle in his eyes when he did. Sam finally replied, "We didn't know they were abducting kids, and we couldn't just leave them out there."

Abruptly, Y/N's head popped up from the back seat. She had been lying down, but now she gracefully draped herself over the front seat between the brothers. "Don't act like you didn't enjoy yourself. I've seen the way you whipped those kids into shape; you had fun."

Dean's lips curled into a small smile as he reminisced about the kids – scared, confused, and on the verge of tears. They stared up at the three adults who had just decapitated their abductors. Sam, Dean, and Y/N hadn't initially noticed the group of seven kids huddled in a corner of the old house until it was too late. Stunned and uncertain about what to do next, the trio stood before the kids until Dean crouched down to their level.

Addressing the kids, Dean inquired if they knew who Batman was. All the children nodded in agreement, prompting Dean to spin a quick tale about the bad guys being part of Joker's crew of clowns, and they were sent there by Batman to save them. A brave child spoke up, expressing a preference for Superman. In an effort not to discourage the child, Dean muttered, "Yeah, well, it's okay to be wrong."

Dean then encouraged the kids to leave the house in an orderly line, guiding them through a casual discussion about their favorite superheroes as if he knew each one personally. Meanwhile, Sam and Y/N took charge of calling the police to report the situation and ensure the kids' safety.

Y/N patted Dean's shoulder, rousing him from his thoughts. She declared, "You'll make a good dad one day. But first, food." With that, Y/N exited the Impala, leaving Dean slightly baffled. He turned to Sam, seeking confirmation that he had indeed heard Y/N correctly. Sam just offered a grin, patting Dean on the shoulder before making his way out of the car.

Dean followed suit, and the trio strolled into the bar. The scent of something sweet lingered in the air as they located a high-top table in the dimly lit establishment.

Y/N couldn't help but ask, "Why is it so dark?" Dean, taking his seat, retorted, "Hey, don't complain. This was the only place open this late."

Sam looked around as he took his seat and commented, "Better than nothing, I guess." Just then, the waiter approached, a slight lisp in his speech as he inquired about their drink orders. Dean, engrossed in the menu, barely registered the waiter eyeing him up and down as he simply asked for a round of beers.

The man bit his lip before muttering, "Ay Papi," and walking away.

All three at the table slowly looked up, Sam and Y/N sporting grins as they exchanged glances. Dean, maintaining his tough exterior, pointed at both Sam and Y/N sternly, declaring, "Not. A. Word."

However, Y/N couldn’t contain her giggle, letting out strained laughter as she mimicked the waiter, "Ay Papiii," drawing out the last syllable. This sent Sam into a fit of laughter alongside her.

Amidst their laughter and Dean's exhaustion of the situation Sam, keenly aware of the returning waiter, nudged Y/N to compose herself. Y/N stifled her laughter just in time for the waiter to place their drinks on the table. As the waiter favored Dean once more with a sly comment, "Enjoy the show," and a wink, he sauntered away, leaving Dean to awkwardly nod and smile.

With the waiter out of sight, the ambient lighting in the bar dramatically dimmed to near darkness, music permeated the air from strategically placed speakers, and three spotlights illuminated a stage that had been concealed until now. Dean, Sam, and Y/N turned their attention to the stage.

As the heavy curtains gracefully parted, they revealed five remarkably sculpted men, clad only in loose gray sweatpants. The room was hushed with anticipation as the men took their positions. Then, with a seamless synchronization, the performers began to dance, their movements a fusion of elegance and sensuality. The sweatpants clung to their well-defined physiques, leaving very little to the imagination as they fluidly moved across the stage, casting a spell on the captivated audience.

The atmosphere in the dimly lit bar shifted as the unexpected show unfolded on stage. Dean and Sam, their expressions mirroring a mix of surprise and uncertainty, exchanged a quick glance laden with unspoken questions. Sam's eyes silently inquired why they ended up in such a place, and Dean responded with a shrug and shake of his head, indicating he had no idea about the establishment's unique offerings.

Their attention then turned to Y/N, who seemed entirely unfazed by the situation. Her eyes were fixed on the dancers, an amused smirk playing on her lips. When she noticed the brothers looking at her, she met their gaze with a mischievous shrug, raising her beer in a mock toast.

"Happy Birthday to me," she declared, savoring the unexpected turn of events. Dean rolled his eyes, a subtle shake of his head expressing his bemusement, while Sam couldn't help but chuckle at Y/N's carefree enjoyment. Though the brothers appeared out of their element, they chose to remain, recognizing that Y/N was enjoying the unconventional entertainment.

Y/N observed the two brothers as they sat quietly, one with a tight jaw and clenched fists; Dean, the other shifting uncomfortably in his seat trying his best to occupy himself with his beer; Sam. She could see their growing frustration as they kept it in mind but tried not to look at the men on stage performing for the attention of their date.

With a mischievous glint in her eye, Y/N subtly studied each brother's reaction, knowing exactly what button to push, she already had a plan for tonight and was confident in her ability to make it happen.

Amidst the rhythmic movements of the dancers, Dean's voice cut through the air, his curiosity getting the better of him, "Hey, is today actually your birthday?" Y/N's smirk widened as she leaned back in her seat, taking a deliberate sip of her beer before responding with nothing more than a sly wink. The cryptic acknowledgment lingered in the air, leaving both Sam and Dean exchanging glances once again, engaged in their silent communication.

It wasn't until Sam's lips curved into a half-smile, half-smirk that Y/N knew she had successfully asserted her influence. The unspoken victory played out in the exchanged looks between the brothers, and Y/N couldn't help but relish in the satisfaction of successfully directing the rest of the night's events in her desired favor.

Oh, what a night it would be.

End Chapter.

This is the Female Reader-Insert Version of my Story, please consider taking a look at the Original with my OFC Saia.

Please comment & 💜

[oiladgivememoney99]

Newscapepro Season 2: Bobble Hates You!

“Yo, Cory come out here,” Cory was shook awake by the gentle, if awkward voice of Lara, and the violent banging on his door from probably no Lara.

“Ugh…” Cory groaned as he slowly dragged himself out of bed.

BANG BANG BANG BANG

“It’s an order, Cory!” Triana grumbled from the other side.

Lara snorted. “Be nice, Tri,”

“Yeah… I was having such a good nap…” He grumbled as he opened the door, revealing the two girlfriends. “What do you guys want?”

“Well-”

“Actually wait I wanna explain this one,” Lara raised her hand, Triana chuckled as the blue haired woman attempted to find the words.

“Uhh… so, basically I’m like single handedly containing this one Skip… who’s like a clown on TV and uh…”

“SCP-993,” Triana smirked, Lara began to pout. “It’s a clown themed TV show that causes severe brain damage to children who watch it; Lara’s put in charge of making sure it doesn’t air,”

“I would’ve gotten it eventually…”

“...Why are you telling me this?”

“Cause we’re watching the episodes I stop from airing with like… little to no effort,” Lara explained. “Wanna come?”

Cory sighed. “I guess,”

“Yes!” Lara fist bumped the air, Triana quickly kissed her on the cheek as the group of three moved towards the Computer in the Commons Room.

---

Scott, Hooper and Nikole were there, standing or sitting around the computer as Lara sat down. Cory sat on a chair next to Hooper and Triana stood next to her girlfriend.

“Alright, Bobble over here is trying air in-”

“Bobble?! Wait Bobble the Clown was an SCP?” Cory interrupted Lara, shock and nostalgia clear in his voice. “I used to watch that show all the time when I was a kid!”

“That… explains a lot actually,” Hooper and Scott chuckled.

Nikole snickered. “Y’know that show causes severe brain damage in kids right?”

“Yeah, that’s why we spend do much money containing it,” Triana said.

“Wha? But I watched it all the time and I’m fine!” Cory argued. The whole team gritted their teeth and stared at Cory, who pouted in response.

“...Anyway watch me contain this dumdum real quick,” Lara snorted as an alert popped up on her monitor

INSTANCE APPEARED, 37 Martin Luther St.

She hit a single button, and just like that the instance didn’t show.

“It’s literally that easy,” Lara said. “Let’s check out that episode right uh… now,”

Each team member leaned in like a 1 year old being given an ipad. A brightly dressed clown appeared on the screen in a kitchen.

“Wuh-hey kids, welcome back to Bobble’s Kitchen Surprise!” The clown smiled an unhinged smile, standing behind a bench in a kitchen. “And today, we’re gonna be makin’ eyeball chip cookies!”

The clown paced around the kitchen as he continued to talk, his tone getting increasingly sinister. “Now, I know it ain’t the most popular form of cookie… however, I find eyeball chip cookies absolutely delightful!” He looked to a door on the side of the kitchen. “Bring ‘em in!”

Someone wearing a black hoodie and a ski mask forced a man into the room: bound, gagged and screaming and struggling futilely as he was forced in.

“Oh jeez, I know I said I was gonna make cookies but…” The clown pulled out a knife. “Oh, this one just seems too delicious to wait”

“MPPPHHH!”

“Fucken’ Jesus, they showed this to kids?” Scott chuckled uncomfortably.

Nikole took a sip of her flask. “Lazy ass…”

“That isn’t the…” Triana sighed in defeat.

“This episode was a classic… wait this was a kid’s show?” Cory’s head quirked up.

Lara shrugged. “I mean it’s framed as a kid’s show, but like… most episodes of Sesame Street don’t have a guy getting his eyeballs cut out,”

“Disgustin’ stuff,” Hooper gagged.

“Yeah, you’re doing good work here, honey,” Triana patted Lara on the back, who giggled in response.

“Thanks Tri… I actually have a bunch of these archived if you wanna see more,”

“Well, I got nothing else on, sure,” Scott shrugged.

“I guess…” Hooper mumbled.

Nikole chuckled. “As long as I get to make a drinking game outta it,”

“You’re gonna do that either way,” Lara deadpanned.

“I’ll make sure Nikole doesn’t die of Liver failure,” Triana pinched the bridge of her nose as Nikole grumbled something about being “way too strong for that,”

“Let’s go!” Cory smiled.

“Neat,” Lara chuckled as she intervened in another viewing of the show, showing the team the next episode.

The Clown appeared again, this time in a sparse city in the middle of the night. “Wuh hey kids, I’m Bobble the Clown and here’s a waaaacky guide on getting away with murder,” He began to casually walk around the street, unnoticed by few people walking around the street to wherever and whatever.

“Remember to always commit your crimes at night!” He excitedly pointed at the audience as he skulked through the back alleys of the city. “And only target people the police are less likely to care about!” The clown walked up to a dark skinned lady in the alleyway.

The screen cut from the presumed murdering to the Clown dumping the body of the women in the river.

“And always remember kids, never let the police find the body!” The Clown said. “Closure increases the chances of you getting caught!”

“Jesus Christ, do I include racism in the drinking game?” Nikole’s eyes widened in shock.

“Oh you’re one to talk, dude, remember Trivia Night,” Scott said.

“You can’t prove shit”!

“Literally all of us can,” Triana sighed. “Unfortunately…”

“It wasn’t…” Lara looked lost in thought for a minute. “Okay it was that bad now that I think about it,”

“I don’t remember this episode…” Cory looked curiously at the screen. “I guess they made more?”

“The exact episodes of the show is unknown,” Hooper shrugged. “Sometimes it feels like they make ‘em in seconds,”

“It was a magical TV Show, I wouldn’t be surprised,” Cory smiled.

“Dude, he just encouraged attacking ethnic minorities,” Lara deadpanned.

“Okay well that part’s bad,”

Lara chuckled. “Well obviously,”

The computer beeped, Lara stopped another viewing of the show, she looked back at the team. All of them nodded, Cory more excited than the rest of them as they opened up the video.

It was just Bobble, sitting in a chair, staring at the camera with a look of pure hatred in his eyes as he stared, and stared, and stared.

“This goes for 20 minutes,” Lara said absentmindedly. “He must be like, really pissed,”

“He’s gotta now bad of an influence is show is on kids, right?” Scott leaned in.

“Hey, I watched it all the time and I turned out fine,”

The whole team looked at Cory for a minute.

“What?”

Everyone went back to looking at the screen.

Nikole took a swig of her flask. “This clown guy’s fucken… weird, can we get like one normal Skip please?”

“No…? That’s like the whole point of this group,” Lara chuckled.

“What about like… the normal ass people that have powers sometimes?”

Lara looked lost in thought for a minute. “Eh… still kinda weird,”

“The possibility of a worse organisation getting to them first is enough reason to contain them,” Triana said.

“I didn’t mention that…” Nikole pouted.

Hooper crossed his arms. “Ya implied it, Nik,”

“Yeah-” Lara was interrupted by another beep from her computer, she quickly hit the button that stopped the episode of Bobble the Clown from airing. For once she looked at the title.

“How to torture dumb annoying severely underweight annoying stupid slutty IT whores named Lara Krum…” She read the entire name outloud, Nikole chuckled, Triana grimaced and jabbed the alcoholic in the stomach.

“Rude,” Lara commented.

“I don’t think he likes you, dude,” Scott chuckled.

“Do not know what told you that, man,” Lara shook her head sarcastically. “Let’s watch it,”

Bobble appeared again in a dark room, with a woman that looked similar to Lara tied to a chair in a dimly lit room. “Hey, hey there you little… kid hating FUCKERS!” The Clown mumbled incoherently. “Here’s… here’s how you torture… I forgot the title; here’s how you deal with little bitches who censor your perfectly normal show!”

He tore open the woman’s achilles tendon with a pair of wire cutters, she screamed in agony.

“You need to,” he breathed out heavily. “You need to leave wounds that hurt, but can’t kill, like this!”

He tore off one of her fingernails, then another, the woman screamed even louder.

Lara looked behind her, she saw Triana about to vomit and elected to quickly turn the video off.

An awkward, terrified silence fell over the team.

Scott quickly broke the silence. “Jesus Christ, hopefully that isn’t real, heh,”

“Probably just a lookalike, don’t worry Triana,” Nikole drunkenly patted Triana on the back and calmed down.

The blonde woman sighed. “I’m fine… just kinda fucked up seeing it, y’know?”

“I get it Tri, I’m a little uh… y’know,” Lara motioned to the screen. “Fucked up with it too, don’t worry,”

Cory stared off into space, directly at the screen that showed his friend getting tortured, brutally too. He thought about if that could happen, it’d probably happen as a result of him failing Lara just like the rest of his friends-

Hooper snapped his fingers in front of Cory. “Hey, ya good?”

Cory jumped back a little. “Huh? Oh yeah, I’m fine… just a bit shook,”

“We all are, dude,” Scott patted the man on the back.

“Yeah… let’s uh… not watch any more of these,” Lara chuckled uncomfortably. “My shift with this Skip ends in a couple hours anyway,”

“Good,” Triana smiled lightly, Lara smiled too.

Cory yawned. “Welp, I’m gonna go eat, see ya,”

The team waved goodbye as he left.

“...I’m worried about him, he don’t seem to have the best opinion of himself,” Hooper sighed.

Scott put his hand on Hooper’s back, patting it a little as he placed it there. “He’s got a good friend in you, dude, and the rest of us,” He said. “If anything happens, we’ll all be there for him,”

“Yeah, a good friend,” Hooper looked a little forlorn for a moment, before he smiled.

Nikole and Lara exchanged a knowing look with each other.

Triana cleared her throat. “Yeah, hopefully it doesn’t get that bad,”

“Yeah, hopefully,”

[popculturebuffet]

The Kablammiest Ka-Blam! Retrospective: Season 2 Review (Comissioned by Cory Bryant)

Assume crash positions you happy people, my Ka-Blam retrospective is back! After a delay or too we're back for a cartoon crammed season 2. If you missed part 1 you can find it here.

Season 2, like most great season 2, takes everything good about season 1 and amps it up: the segments are tighter, the animation for the Henry and June segments and Sniz and Fondue is even shaper, and the rougher edges on the segments I wasn't as keen on have been sanded off. This is a show firing on all cyllenders.

Production wise I don't have NEARLY as much to say this time around

Yeah while I LOVED the deep dive I took in season 1, it was also a lot so not having to give a deep history on 5 diffrent cartoons.. is a relief. I still have to cover the one off shorts but it's not NEARLY as much and i'd once again like to thank the KaBlam! wiki for providing my background info. Seriously whoever put all this together and put your time into this.. thank you.

Moving into season 2 was a smooth transition: the only real big change was Sniz and Fondue switching studios, with Mike R Brandon hating the animation PitchiPoi did for season one and thus switching to doing most of the work itself and sending it to Canadian studio funbag. Otherwise things went smooth: the 5 main segments from season 1 stayed on.

The other changes are either show specific or slight: the startling shorts title card is gone, but we still get plenty of one offs, though for some reason it's mostly at the back half of the season. Season 2 is simply tighting up what came before , not having the growing pains of season 1 or the massive turnovers we'd get for Season 3. It's simply KaBlam KaBigger and Ka Better so join me as we take a look at this season under the cut.

Henry and June was the segment that changed the most in season 2 and for the better.

Season 1 relied way too heavily on "June abuses henry" for it's jokes, with a good chunk of the segments being the poor guy getting kicked around for no reason. Season 2 imeditly puts an end to this and instead of just moving on from the bit the premire is entirley about it: Henry is fed up June keeps torturing him and quits, and June sees how much she really needs and misses him, with Henry coming back.

And unlike a lot of cartoon shows light on status quo where we'd just.. go back to that... we don't. June DOES still prank henry on occasion, but this time around he either deserves it or it's in moderation.

Henry himself changes a lot: he's still the show's butt monkey.. but the show changes his characterization to fit that status better; Henry's now a know it all egotist who charges into situations he has no idea what to do with June's warning's falling on deaf ears and her pranks on him now more to take him down a peg. The slapstick lands better now that Henry actually deserves it and h'es not being clowned on EVERY episode. If Henry is getting hurt, he's usually brought it on himself and it's the best that way.

The segments also move away from the random bits style of season 1. We still get them ocasoinally, but most season 2 wraparounds have a consistent story going on. Sometimes it's linear, other times it's a bunch of skits centered around whatever's happening to KaBlam that day. This is also an improvment as it gives the stories more movement and keeps me more invested in what goes on between the other cartoons. They also do some really creative ones as we'll see. I may not have really liked the Henry and June segments for season 1 but I LOVE them in season 2. Great stuff.

Won't Stick to Most Dental Work: The aforementioned "Karma finally bites June in the Butt" episode, and it is glorious. After a season of Henry Torture, it's nice to see June taken down a peg and the two genuinely reconcile. It's a great start that helps smooth the transition between the two versions of these segments.

Won't Crack or Peel: It's KABLAM O VISION, as our heroes do various 3d jokes. It's.. okay. It was mostly made so they could make a 3d version on vhs, which is super rare. See if you have one in your closet! Hurts So Good: Back to the good part and we have a telethon parody and while I really have seen maybe one or two in my lifetime, especially nowadays where there are easier ways to raise money, I still love me a good Telethon parody episode and this is a great one, with our heroes asking you to send us your bones staples to keep the show afloat. We get a great hands across america/we are the world parody sung by characters from every segment. That's a touch i've always liked, but haven't really commented on: the wraparounds aren't afraid to refrence or have cameos from the other cartoons and I like that. It makes the world feel more interconnected and I appricate the various animators and voice actors from them pitching in. It's extra work they could've understandably refused but i'm happy they didnt.

Harold's Glow in the Dark Butter: A return to the old random segment days.. and i'ts not great. feels like a season 1 holdover. The only bright spot is June's shilling for the titular product at the end.

Tastes Like Paper: One of my faviorites from the season. The heroes get a new director of research that puts them through a lot of hilaroius nonsense. The reveal of who it is though is what makes this all so great: the idea of a crooked research director humilating them for personal gain? We've seen it before but it still works. That guy being the MAYOR who wanted to turn the page? fucking great. Granted I love the mayor any time he shows up on action league now with his weird voice, so this was an easy sell but him fucking up the show and Henry using a chekovs marching band on him is fantastic.

I Just Don't Get It: Another assorted shorts one but a much better one as Henry has chest hair drawn on him that goes wild, June plays around with censor bleeps for comedy in an all timer segment, and June clones henry. Some pretty good stuff.

E Plubris Kablam: Another eh one, and another one mostly made up of segments, though the 100th episode bit at the start is great . The rest is a bit predictable and mostly Henry gets bitten by his hubris, which CAN be funny and is preferable to "henry gets whalloped real good for no reason" but falls a tad flat here.

Better Than a Poke in The Eye: Far and away my faviorite of the season. In a parody of studio tours and cheesy theme parks, Henry and June take a tour group on a ride through the studios and EVERY bit is a banger. We start with what seems to be a mascot playing the flesh but it's just some naked guy, a simple joke but one that make me giggle. We get an obnoxious sun burnt guy who keeps trying to take the fun out of every stop... till Promethus' ship vaporizes him. I mean i'ts a guy in a Prometheus mascot suit but still.. they really did kill this guy and I love it. Henry and June just.. straight up stand there while a man dies and don't react. So fucking good. We then get a bit where you can be the hosts.. and Henry and June face the harsh realtiy tha tmost kids are gonna act doofy. Finally we have my faviorite: it's hard to top an out and out murder, but our heroes succed with the Off Beats Stunt Spectacular, where Betty Ann beats the shit out of the populars and gets into a speed boat chase with them. it's so hilarously stupidly off brand and I love it so damn much. I never would've thought of something this gloriously stupid. And my well for glorious stupidity is vast and terrifying so... respect.

Get Sam Donaldson's Mystery Bag: June is a member of news anchor Sam Donaldson's fanclub and the duo start a KaBlam one as a result. Henry tries to hog it so they split into warring fanclubs before settling their dispute the way all should be: giant fighting robots. Also sam donaldson ALSO has a giant fighting robot, as does Diane Sawyer. This is a fun one.. not much else to say.

Cramming Cartoons Since 1967: Henry and June's parents visit and I love how relatable they are.. sterotypical yes but in a way that feels real: Henry's mom overly dotes on him and makes him wear a train sweater.. probably thomas the tank engine offical merch. it's red so Percy I guess. I woudl've gone for henry myself. Henry on Henry.

Anyways, June's dad is a terse talking "manly man" with a large gut and the two spend the segment embarassing their kids and being hilarious, eventually getting into an all out fist fight. I love how Henry and June deal with it too.. they just bail and both parents say sorry. It's good stuff and a creative idea, shows just how much of a step up these segment sfocusing on one premise are: it tightens things up and gives the jokes more room across segments if needed.

Hand Cranked For Your Enjoyment: This one is.. eh. they can't all be winners. Our heroes get neighbors upstairs from a viking comic strip... confusing a comic strip with a comic book.

Yeahhh as a huge fan of both comic books and strips... this annoys me. The idea of a neighbor on the same comic strip page having conflict with another strip is great and Pearls Before Swine got a great week out of this and has had tons of great meta jokes on the subject. But here.. it makes no fucking sense. Kablam is a comic book. And I get this is a comedy show, I could forgive it if vikings invading was funny. But it just isn't. It woul'dve been funnier if edgy mid 90's superheroes invaded.. and actually make sense. Easily the weakest of the season.

Art + Science Equals Fun: Another series of random skits, but another good one as Henry and June accidnetly rip a page, a clever meta bit, and June sings a really good song about being a KaBlammer. It's a really fun folk song that just.. slaps so hard.

KaBlam, James KaBlam: Our season finale and we have a great one to go out on as our heroes get an awkward College Intern. A close second to the Studios one. He fumbles with the boom mike, is awkard on camera, gets in the way, there's a LOT of good antics with him. I paticuarlly love how, being a college student, he describes the adventures of Patchhead in a VERY film school way and june ends up agreeing with him after it airs. It's an all time classic to close out a solid season of wraparounds.

Once again it's time for Sniz and Fondue. Season 2 is both shorter.. and sadly a drop in quality from season 1. While the animation his sharper and I dig the new title card, story wise the series struggles to get good jokes out of it's great setups sometimes. There's good MOMENTS and two standout episodes .. but the other 4 just feel weak. It's clear having to do most of the anim ation himself was putting a strain on brandon and i'm not shocked he quit: the fun had clearly gone out of making the show and while he had a tempting offer to make it a full series he was just.. done and he quit. Nick.. didn't but we'll get to that next time.

This is just depressing to write because I LOVED season 1 of Sniz and Fondue. It was a lot of fun, creative and energetic and it's just... a lot to realize a creator was running out of energy and the will to go on with a work he genuinely loved as he made these. I don't take any joy in not liking this. I just feel bad for the guy. It's very clear Brandon loved these guys and Nick never shared the same love. They loved the MONEY sniz and fondue could make them, but they didn't care one iota of a shit about the guy making it. It's no wonder Brandon comes off a bit cranky in the interview he gave to the KaBLam wiki: I would be too after all this shit.

"Sigh"

So... Sniz and Fondue season 2

Clubbed: This one STARTS good as Fondue buys a fancy stereo but has no tunes to go with it, so Sniz joins a cd club. And i'm sure all 3 of our younger readers in the audience let out a collective

Basically back in the 90's various cd manufacuters had "scams' where they'd send you an order form, you could order a cd for pennies but then you had to pay for one each month, and the bills mounted up. A lot of jokes have been made on them and Sniz and Fondue really dosen't bring anything new to the table. Fondue ends up having to trade them his stereo. WOMP WOMP.

Celluloid Sins: This one is a bit more fun. Snizz has taken up the art of "plexing", i.e. sneaking into another theater after his movie. The term is dated, as multiplexes are now the majority, but the idea of a 20 something sneaking in and out of films on one ticket is timeless. It's probably harder NOW with assigned seating, but I could still see kids, 20 somethings or whoever pulling this. Snizz' glee at it is infectious, and it's mostly held back for going the obvious route with it: Fondue is caught trying to stop him, Sniz has a change of heart, both are banned. The ending though IS great and for all this batches faults... it usually sticks the landing: they just go to another down the streat. Ahhh captalism.

Crustsean Sensations: My faviorite of the season as it goes back to what makes the series work: a simple premise playing off the characters eccentrcities taken some places. In this case Fondue finally uses his hat as a chef's hat and whips Sniz up some shrimp cocktail, happy that for once Sniz likes one of his upscale treats. Well upscale on their budget. Sniz becomes addicted and we get plenty of great jokes out of it, from him ringing a bell to him showing up in Fondue's room.

The best though. is the payoff.. he ends up running around trying to get his shirmp fix, something I can relate to when I run out of an expensive snack, and finds.. a little girl running what's essentially a lemonade stand full of all kinds of weird shit who says "Ask if you don't see it" and has a bit of shrimp in a gross box. Normally i'm not pro grossout... but taking the idea of a sketchy gas station (Another thing that seems to be not nearly as common as 90's cartoons said, but still exists) and making it into a child's lemonade stand type deeal is just.. so brilliant and I love how surreal it is: Even Sniz is wondering if he dreamt all this. He did not and ends up in the hospital. The highlight of the season and while it's not super hard, it's still one of my favorites of the series.

Hello Dolly: This one is built on a trope that was common place when I was a kid, but is very

In hindsight. A romani woman curses Sniz for bumping into her. Or his clay. This whole sterotype has aged like cheddar on a sidewalk.

The doll Sniz makes out of the clay for Fondue's birthday is great: stone head bean bag body.. but it never quite lives up to the "killer doll parody" granted it has a HIGH bar to clear as Simpsons "Clown Without Pity" aired 5 years earlier. And while it had it' sown unfortunate sterotype it had way more jokes in almost as much time.

So this one could'v ebeen good but the dated sterotype and the "it's been done" feeling kill it. For the record Aqua Teen Hunger force ALSO did the killer doll joke better later, as did of course the king of killer dolls.

So time hasn't helped it.. but even then it was far behind.

Chicanery Chums: This one is meh til lthe ending. Fondue wants to pull a prank after Sniz tells him he can't. We've seen this before. Sniz fakes his death, somehow we've seen this before. The ending.. is the only thing it really has: Sniz is in a mental ward from the prank but unsuprisingly is faking it.. but the two laughing like hyenas gets them both locked up. It's just.. oddly charming ...being locked in a mental hospital is one of my greatest fears, and the idea of it happening over something so goofy is... hilarous. Seriously, it's just so charming.. it remind sme "no i'ts not that easy" and "no they won't keep you forever". It's a mostly irrational fear and it took an irrtional ending to see that. So thanks Sniz and Fondue.

Rat in the Hat: The penultimate episode and the other really good one of the season. Sniz convinces Fondue to let him wear his hat, and naturally the latter freaks both when Sniz wears it a while.. and when he SEEMS to get magic powers from it. The payoff, that it's just Sniz's charisma and he gets bored of it the minute bianca takes it, is great. Simple premise, great execution.

Great Infestations: The season two finale is also our sendoff for Snuppa and Bianca though given the two only showed up in Rat in the Hat and Hello Dolly otherwise, their roll was already dimnished. Still it's nice to see them off and it's a fitting one for a season finale: Fondue is ticked Sniz's lice infestation leads their house to be fumigated, so he bunks with Bianca. Sniz ends up bonding with snupa, Fondue gets jealous, the two make up at th eend, this episode is mid. Good premise, meh execution.

And now for the inverse of my disapointment in Sniz and fondue season 2. Action League Now! as a mild disapointment in season 1: i get why kid me liked it and there were some good episodes, but it's schticks could get old quick.

Season 2 dosen't do away with a lot of the common jokes, stuff still falls on our heroes or runs them over, but it refines them and the show as a whole: The series has embraced the fact our heroes are a calvalcade of fuckups, and it's all the better for it: Our heroes ruin relations with a foreign nation, blow first contact, and generally destroy everything they touch and the series is better for it: instead of "wow isn't it funny these superheroes are'nt good at thier job" it's "how BAD can we make these guys at what they do", while still mixing in some other stuff. Our heroes also tend to get beat up for their jerkassery a lot more, which just makes the slapstick play even better. Exagerating stuff in comedy CAN backfire horribly.. but here it was just what Action League Now needed. It needed to be more over the top and have it's heroes be loveable destructive dumbasses who destroy everything around them. We also get a decent amount of the mayor, not as much as before sadly, but still enough to bring joy into our hearts and lives. A truly fun season of action figure shenanigans. Let's dig into it.

Big Baby: This one is decent, introducing Bill the Lab Guy's teenage daughter Quarky, who sounds like she's 7. The Mayor uses Big Baby, a giant baby doll, for a freak show and the Baby Gets loose. Shenanigans insue, this one is alright.

Danger For a Dignitary: This is where things pick up as the Flesh is forced to fill in for an identical diginitary from another nation. The setup is typical.. the payoff though.. is fantastic. Turns out the Flesh REALLY can't stand to not be naked for long.

So he strips.. and it's a non issue as they assume it's a metaphor..a nd then he bungles it anyway by singing his own name on the treaty, leading to the nation being destroyed and our heroes having to awkwardly hide that. Dark Comedy is hit and miss for me but this.. this is just beautiful.

Incident at Chlorine Lake: Our obligatory jaws parody as the Mayor is having parties at Cholorine Lake. The monster? a trophy bass.. as in a bass on a trophy. I love everything about this. I also love that the mayor tries to deny it as you'd expect until a flurry of body parts comes up, a gag they could only get away with using toys and I salute them for it. I also love Bill's obession with the fish, thinking it needs to be preserved..which is normally true but kinda hard to argue with when, unlike say a rare tiger or something, it's main diet is people. A tiger just hunts and shit. Most rare animals don't harm you unless yo upiss them off billiam. Sharks are less harmful than this thing.

Revenge of Hodge Podge: This one brings in another recurring villian and it's something I like about season 2: while they don't massively expand the rogues gallery adding Big Baby and Hodge Podge shakes things up a bit. I love the mayor more than oxygen, but having some other rogues helps with the series former repettion problem: season 1 was mostly "the mayor has some evil plot and the action league stoops it". It was done in diffrent ways, but it was mostly same shit diffrent day, with a few rescues thrown in. Here the Mayor is used sparingly, still showing up plenty, but not being used every 5 minutes. As a result I can enjoy my boy more but the show dosen't get old and can spread it's wings a bit.

Hodge Podge has a mildly annoying voice, but the over the top voice helps with his nature: a guy who got destroyed by the league's incompetence and rebuilt into a pile of other action figures glued together by Bill. Not only does his existance Emphasie the League's incompetnece and callousness, but he's just fun to have around. The solution is also fun as we get a nice parody of a stock plot: Quarky wants to be a scientest, bill dosen't take her seriously and she.. makes the league into an abomination out of their spare parts.. well thunder girl, the rest are left in a pile. this at least distracts hodge podge and gets bill to accept her, but leaves Thunder girl understandably annoyed.

Voice of Treason: Hodge Podge steals a voice modifier. This one sure did happen.

Caged Thunder: So the Cheif sends Thunder Girl to do espenoge on the country next door, only for her to get kidnapped. What's either the mayor using a terrible accent or the mayors foreign equivelent is running the country and plans to send a missle. The wiki says he's in disguise but i'm just not sure. OUr heroes barely save the day as always. A decent one with a bit of a diffrent bit but the Mayor (?)'s accent gets annoying after a while.

Science Fiction Parody: Okay first I love that the title for this one is just.. blunt about what their doing. It's also one of my faviorites of the season for being just.. so delightfully fucked up. Some aliens come in peace.. and our heroes utterly bungle first contact. Stinky naturally is the first to as he reacts to an alien reaching for his camera by shooting him, which was a punchline in 1997 but just makes me really sad for a while in 2024. Now his APOLOGY for it is darkly hilarous, saying "sorrrryyyy" like a scolded child and the alien's non reaction to it is great.

OUr heroes proceed to horribly mangle EVERY member of the alien delegation through sheer stupidity and it's as funny as it sounds. The fact they all survivie and we simply see the aftermath helps, and it's fun that for once we get to see the aftermath of what was done to one of these toys. They try to destroy earth as a result which is shockingly fair all things considered. Our heroes survivie only for their to be more ships. Wah wah. This is never resolved, I assume the league was saved by.. let's say moe. The highlight of the season, taking the black comedy to dizzing heights i'm honestly shocked they got away with.

Flesh and Blood: Another banger. The Flesh is reunited with what seems to be his parents on a tv show but turn out to be con artists. The Flesh is usually fantastic, so pairing him with two criminals barely succeeding at conning him into stealing things woh also get maimed the whole time is great and the punchline of flesh's real parents accidently running him over is easily the second best car runs something over gag so far.

The Quarky Syndrome: Quarky gets superpowers then disappears from the series. The action league laugh at her and are punished for their hubris. This one's shockingly forgetable despite turning one of the shows recurring cast into a hero and never follows up on it. Meh.

Turkey of Terror: Thankfully the season ends on a high note as the last 4 are all amazing. Our first as the League invited to thanksgiving dinner with the mayor. If I had a nickle for every time I had to do an out of season thanksgiving special this feburary i'd have two nickles. Which isn't a lot but it's weird it happened twice.

Anyways the Mayor instead bakes them into a turkey instead and it's up to Stinky, who wisely noped out to save them... and whose also greatful to escape his own family. It's hilarous and has the best car gag of the season when the turkey and the fleeing mayor are both ran over. We also get a boss baster versus wisk fight between the mayor and Stinky.

Meltman At Large: This one rides soley on it's gimmick.. and it's such a fun gimmick it gets away with it: Meltman feeling useless among the team for his power to... melt, drinks an unstable potion bill made behind his back and becomes human sized. As in some poor guy had to wear a life sized meltman costume. The costume is great, a bit clunky fitting the show but entirely well made, i'm just betting it was hell to actually work in. Meltman bungles his way thorugh an adventure, crushing the action car by calling fontizes, picking everyone up for their douchebaggery, getting caught in a kiddy pool and having to jump jump to rescue some kids.. and then getting sent away on a ballon for his hubris. It's Meltman at his best... stupid and obnoxious but throughly punished for it.

Danger Society; This might be my faviorite of the season, as it condenses everything great about this batch of episodes into one premise: a group of challengers of the unknown/fantastic four style heroes, the Danger Society sweeps into town and takes our heroes work. This isn't a NEW premise: A year prior JLA launched with the same premise, but it's one that works here as instead of being secretly evil as normal for this kind of polt the danger society.. are just genuinely good people who want to save lives. Their actual heroes while our protaganists are just miffed they aren't getting free food at the cafeteria anymore.

They challenge the society to a "who can save more lives contest" and the society.. is horrified at the idea and ONLY agrees so SOMEONE is saving lives. And how our heroes do.. is just.. the best joke of the season. They nope out.. and they still loose. They ENTIRELY know the stakes, their just that stupid and selfish and only keep theri job because the danger scoeity gets subjected to the car bit. A true classic.

Rock-A-Big-Baby: Our finale and an episode that actually aired BEFORE this in a way, being the opening short for Good Burger. It's also a neat onea s KISS guest stars. Yes KISS, the band themselves guests and rocks and roll all nights. Not as good as when they met scooby doo and took the gang to another dimension to battle a foe who'd become unto a god, but still pretty neat and I applaud them for being game for this nonsense. For as defensive of their brand as they can be, the Band is really up for any weird cameo, and showed up on family guy TWICE for some great shit. The plot isn't much special: big baby kidnaps Gene Simmons, Meltman claims to know them and it turns out he isn't lying., but the celebrity cameo really makes the episode special.

Promethus and Bob.. hasn't changed any in season 2. It's still "Alien tries to teach caveman things, caveman dosen't get it and chaos ensues". My opinon from last time hasn't changed either: It's a decent premise with great animation, I just don't really like "Haha get it caveman stupid" jokes and the premise of "A "higher" civlization teaches a supposedly "lower" one " has aged like fine milk on a gravel driveway. I don't hate Promethus and Bob but it's just not for me and this probably won't be the last time I say this as the show lasts all 4 seasons. I wish I had more to say but the show.. simply hasn't changed and dosen't seem like it will. Unlike Action League it's comfortable in it's formula and it clearly worked for a lot of you, i'm just not one of them.

Pottery: Prometheus teaches Bob pottery. Sadly we don't get a ghost refrence. Furniture: Promethus tries to teach Bob how to sit on a chair. This one.. is actually pretty funny as Prometheus clearly wants him to sint frontsies not backsies and Bob isn't really doing anything WRONG as sitting front of a chair is more a comfort and societal thing. Box: Our heroes Box. Not a rocky refrence to be found but Prometheus does get punched in the face so.. yay? I guess. Milk: Promethus tries to teach Bob to milk things... and I already used the goodnight everybody. Damn. I somehow dont' remember this one and dont' think I wanna. Canoe: DO BOB A DO BOB PROMETHUS TEACHES BOB HOW TO BUY A CANOE. Skate: Promethus tries to teach Bob to ice skate. At this point I think he's just checking shit off a list... who am I kidding he alwasy was. A fun one. Leverage: Former insurance investigator Nate Ford and his band of cohorts act as modern-day Robin Hoods, pulling elaborate scams targeted against the greedy and the corrupt. Spear and Trapping: Bob learns how to use a spear... like..a ctually learns. I honestly didn't realize the signifigance. Trapping goes more poorly and leads to doodling on Prometheus' face, a scolding from his boss and being trapped in a pit with a saber toothed tiger after them. So a normal day really. Farm: Bob tries and fails to learn how to farm. I don't have a ton to say really. I told you i'ts basically the same bit just diffrent activity the caveman fails at. Breakfast: Okay NOW bob can't cook an egg. I mean... he clearly ate enough to survivie this long. Probably ate some raw eggs at some point. I mean he can't have a diet entirely of raw meat and scabies from eating almost nothing but raw meat. Construction: Promethus tries to Help bob build things. Can he do it.. no no he very much cannot.

Onto a series that recycles the same basic loop.. but does so much batshit insanity with that it works. It's the diffrence for me: P and B isn't terrible, but while they try to do diffrent slapstic the medium just dosen't allow them to get all that creative with said slapstick.

Season 2's a bit shorter, I think due to production delays, but it's still excellent. At it's worst, it's just okay and even the okay segments have something going for them. After writing on the other shows it hits me just.. how out of the box perfect this one came. There's no shame in improving after season 1 mind you, Schitt's Creek and Letterkenny are some of the best comedies ever and both only got better with age. Life With Loopy is just the rare one that knows almost entirely what it wants to be from day one and thus hits a home run out of the gate and just keeps running. I know sports ball.

Butterfly Loopy: Loopy cocoons herself to become a butterfly. A suprisingly common plot... I don't know why "character want sto become a butterfly" is so widespread but it is. It's still a fun one and Loopy has to be saved from a Loony bug collector and learn it's okay not to be a bug. Also Larry gets kidnapped by said guy and we don't get any resolution to that. He's just... apparently trapped there for a while living the glamourous life. Solid start to the season.

Upside Down Loopy: Loopy decides to live upside down after standing on her head. That's.. really the setup but the concept i sjust so much fun, as Loopy uses suction cups to get around, drops stuff, and later becomes friends with bats that freak her dad out. I don't know why he was so freaked, lester , the bat that spooked him, seems like a sweell guy. I'd get a strawberry with him. Larry's solution to this housing crisis? Flip the bitch... seriously he just. .has the house flipped and that's how it ends. I've realized while writing this section season 2 of Life with Loopy isn't big on concrete endings for the most part: most adventures end with the wacky shenanigan just having settled int oa managable but still ever present state this season and i'm okay with that. It give the series a bit more unpredictablity and keeps it from getting formulaic.

Goldfish Ghost: Loopy's whole family think's she's wetting the bed and she handles this about as well as you'd expect.

Turns out it's her goldfish from last season, whose visitng her every night... but he's aware she needs to move on and takes her to find another Fish. That fails and this ep is shockingly average for an episode about a ghost fish helping his former owner move on... but the ending lands it: A cat shows up, a really neat puppet, follows them and the fish barely escapes.. and loopy realizes the poor kitty was just hungry.. and with that Loopy has a new pet and we end on the two adorably snuggling. As someone whose recently both dealt with the loss of a pet and moving on with a new one, I love this ending. As a human being in general.. I love this ending. The episode itself is okay but it sticks the landing so well I can forgive it.

Loopy and the Lost Voice: Loopy is told the old addage of "she'll loose her voice".. but given what show we're in it's taken literally and she goes to a lost and found to get it back. The guys running it are both impressive puppets and my nightmares for the next few weeks. They also don't have it and Loopy has to get it back from an opera singer. She also gets a barry white deep voice. It honestly reminds me of the gravity falls bit where Dipper gets hit with the same, but slightly better. Or the episode where Zorak gets a silky smooth voice and Brak's hot for you baby cause he's a pickled beat. What i'm saying is it reminds me of other good television instead of better takes on the idea, and that's a good sign. Loopy and the Flu Bug: As usual Loopy takes the idea of a flu bug literally... also at this point i'm pretty sure Larry has to Larrysplain ever damn time his parents use a metaphor.. granted while it's partially "I know more than you", I do kinda see his point when Loopy takes everything literaly. Then again sh'es right and turn sout the flu bug's sick. Honestly her befrending the guy is genuinely sweet, as most people hate him but he's just sick himself and just doing his job, and Loopy points out sick days CAN be good. Loopy's genuine kindness really makes the series for me: she WILL end you if she has to or you've angered her, but she's genuinely doing what she does out of childlike wonder, impulse or genuine kindness.

Late Night Loopy: This one has a great premise, a very 90's one at that, but a meh ending. Not bad enough to ruin the short but enough to keep it from being my faviorite of the season. It would've easily won that Kablammy were it not for the ending. The rest is good: Larry gets to stay up later as he's older and watch late night tv, something that future generations will never really know existed, but for us with cable or standard tv, was a fact of life.. as was just how.. boring it was. Mostly late night talk shows, infomericals and other shit. Even nowadays a lot of cable networks just... air that crap, though it's become way less. Loopy ends up in the tv from boredom, and has to flee a talk show host before he.. kills her for being too young to do this? It's never explained. Maybe he's sending her to the bog of etneral stench, I don't know which is worse.

So that ending.. larry has to buy loopy to get her out of the tv and they have to pay it off and it's just.. not satisfying. Loopy was just curious and Larry literally did nothing wrong. It just botches what was otherwise a fantastic episode.

Kung Fu Loopy: A stellar season finale this one annoyed me a little at first, though it's mostly as a younger sibling: Larry is excited that the Charlie Chicken Show On Ice is coming and promises Kung Fu Chickens on ice, getting int oa zen state for it. He then proceeds to be a whiny dick about having to bring loopy.. even though she's also been established as liking the show, is just excited and at worst asks for snacks, especially since thei rmom probably gave him conession money. I was worried this would end up annoying.. but it goes somewhere great as Charlie accidently stains loopy's dress with a pie. And thus must die. She end sup as the assitant for a demonstration, which feels unfair to Larry who. .actually wants to do it and she's runing the show for her vendetta. Had the short not stuck the landing.. this one just wouldn't of worked. But not only does Loopy open a can of whupass on charlie, whose arrogance over the issue an dnon chalance makes him more than desreve it, but she volunteers larry as his replacement. So while she did go out for revenge, she didn't do it selflessly or reckleslly: she knew the whole time her brother could replace this clown. So what could've been "larry is a pissant" or "Loopy ruins everything for larry guess thems the break".. instead ends heartwarmingly as Larry realizes brining her go thim his dream... and all because she just loves and has faith in her brother. A sweet note to end the season.

With the off-beats it feels more like a contiuation fo the previous batch of shorts than a brand new season. And given how good the off-beats was last time, i'm fine with that.

Part of that.. is a bit sad. This is the last batch of the off-beats. There's a valentine's special we'll be looking at as part of our end of retrospective special compiling all the various shorts these series left outside of kablam, something Cory happily greenlit after I realized just how many extra shorts and what not were kicking around, but for the series proper this is the end.

Thankfully unlike Sniz and Fondue the end isn't nearly as bitter, if still bitter sweet: Mo Willems.. simply wanted to focus on other projects. At the time he was doing shorts for Seasame Street and had a pilot shot at cartoon network with Sheep in the Big City, both projects he'd rather work on. It doesn't seem he disliked the offbeats, he just liked the other stuff more and Sheep did get a full series greenlight which was nice... said series didn't last long, but it is one i'd like to take another look at after seeing the off beats.

So our final batch is really about the same. Out of the cast Tommy and August get the most focus, though we still get another spotlight for Betty Anne Bongo and Rapunzil and most of the off beats get screentime per episode, so it never feels like their hogging the spotlight. It's still a wonderful, melacholy yet hopeful little short and i'm sad to see it go. IT was a nice big of low energy whimsy after the high octaine feeling of most other shorts.

Tommy's Coat: The "season" starts off on a high with possibly my faviorite episode of the bunch, Tommy's Coat. Tommy's coat is being cleaned and we get frequent cries of "I want my coat" as the rest of the gang try to help him get over it. HIm going after the populars after hallucinating them as his coat is a perfect punchline, and it's nice to see him back with it at the end. Good stuff.

The Suave-O-Matic 5000: August becomes cool for a day. It dosen't pan out. Another one of those plots on KaBLam that i've seen before and better and a rare misfire for the Off-Beats.

Tommy's Song: My other faviorite, Tommy gets a song stuck in his head. What makes this one special for me is the fact the song is depeicted by the notes floating over him and we get plenty of great gags out of it, from Betty Anne Bongo not being able to hear ANYTHING from Tommy till he yells to August accidently sucking his mind out when trying to remove the song. How the populars get their compuance is also sweet as Tommy simply shares the song which hunts them to the ends of the earth via chasing them commically. Okay... i've stopped being wishy washy this one is my faviorite, hard choice though.

Repunzil and the Sweepstakes: Repunzil enters one of those old "you could win a million dollars" sweepstakes. None of the off-beats are optimistic, while the Populars kinda just.. shove her into her group. I like this one entirely for the gag of one of the popular's nameless horde getting shoved out, leading to the great visuals of Repunzil just.. shoved in there awkwardly and not laughing along with their mockery and the odd man out running behind them and laughing... and doing so again after Repunzil gets thrown out, suprisingly enough.

The Sprain: Betty Anne gets a repetive wrist injury, been there, and can't play her bongos. The Popular's are dicks about it until they realize injries get you sundaes from Grubby Groo, the only adult here.. which is still one more than peanuts at least. He's just as useful, but it's more because the Populars try to play nice when he's around. Honestly I think he KNOWS their little shits on some level, but both is nice enough to give ANY kid a sundae if they maim themselves, and knows that they HAVE to be nice around him and it thus gives the off beats a safe zone from their bullshit. This one's fine.

Paddleball Record: August goes for the world record in Paddleball and september realizes he can't work a can opener when he says he dosen't need his owner for the day. It's a nice one epsecially since, like the September spotlight last season, it gives the dog a bit of compuance. Snoopy CAN be aloof, but he's not such an outright dick to his boy, and we get a sweet moment of August giving up the record for September. We also get a really nice endnig as he readies to try again, this time with September's cans opened. Awww.

The Statstic: Our final episode and a proper finale for the series: A stastic gets released that one in four people gets something dropped on their head, and tommy leaves the group for his own safety while the rest of the Off-beats try to find ANY way to get their friend back. You can see just how miserable both sides are without Tommy around.. and see the populars get bonked on the head. The payoff.. that it's just not worth being apart despite the risk, is genuinely sweet and get's to the series core: they nervous they nebbish they small.. but together... life is sweet they cool, they the off-beats.

Even if they've dropped the label, i'm keeping it.. if nothing else than because the logo looks neat and gives this section a heading.

The shorts for this season are superb. There really isn't a bad one in the batch. Some I loved, some I liked okay enough, but nothing that isn't creative , interesting or that couldn't of gone in the open slots left by Sniz and Fondue and the Off-beats next season.

Weirdly there's only 5 this season.. and another lava short that's.. okay as ever, all coming in the last batch of episodes, but all are fun to talk about, so i'm fine with that. Let's begin

The Brothers Tiki: A rare two-off, the brother's tiki is semi live action, taking place in a real world setting and having humans around but focusing on two Tiki Brothers. The premise is great: Two tiki aliens flying around in a spaceship resembling (and played by) a Bar-B-Que grill fly down to rescue what they think is a craft in distress and is instead just a grill... and theirs gets mistaken for it, filled with coals and lit on fire, leaving them stranded. The first ep sets this up and has an adorable ending as the family living there's little girl finds the two and snuggles them like plushies, while the second has our heroes trying to contact home via radio waveds and only JUST fialing thanks to the younger tiki's attention span.

Overall Brother's Tiki is decent. It's nothing super amazing joke wise "ALIENS DON'T GET EARTH" will never not be a thing, but the deisgn and puppets for the brothers is too cool and they find fun stuff to do, like turning a shop vac into a hot air ballon or having the brothers stack. It's a lot of fun and I recommend checking it out.

The short came from Gordon Clark's love of stop motoin animation, kitsch, lawn sculptures and buddy films, creating something special. Fun fact one of the hosts of myth busters worked on that. It means nothing to me but I know many of you will be impressed. Adam for the record.

The Girl with Her Head Coming off.. was my faviorite segment of the season, both among these and overall. It's a nice chill short about a tweenage girl who waxes about her crush, her teacher embarassing her, her annoying younger sibling and cousin, and why we all can't just be ants. it has a nice sketchy style, like the kind someone that age would make with colored pencil, with the characters having this cool abstract look to them. It also has a nice touch of melacholy, that feeling of having a crush on someone whos with someone else and just how that shit tears you up, feeling like you'll never be good enoguh. Granted this being fiction we get a nice ending as it turns out the guy is both single and is also weird, but it's still a nice relatable little short with a lot of fun to it. Reminds me a lot of the Ramona books by Judy Blume or the Fudge books. Truly fantastic stuff from Emily Hubley, daughter of John and Faith Hubley, who did a lot of animation for seasame street and most personally for me, the Doonsebury animated special, which I hope to cover at some point this year. She certainly did her parents proud with this one.

There's three more shorts that were aired on nick if not KaBlam and you can kinda see WHY at this point I ended up needing a whole special: there's two half hour specials, around 18 shorts from pilots to shorts from various series that simply never aired on kablam.. there's a lot of neat bibs and bobs to explore with this series. KaBlam may not ALWASY entertain, no one bats a thousand, but i'm always fascinated by the amount of animation talent on display here. It makes me happy nowadays with the indie boom animators can just launch the shows themselves if they have a brilliant idea like this one or simply want to make some fun shorts, not having to worry about fitting them into specitic time slots.

Randall Flan's incredible big top is a short by Brian Mulroney, who directed a few episodes of Beavis and Butt Head and part of B an dB doo america and helped with the story for Ballmasterz: Rubicon and Mike DeSeve, another Beavis and Butthead director as well as a writer and director for a TON of pre school shows including Pocoyo, and a writer on the Over the Hedge Movie, another thing I want to cover sometime soon as while not a fantastic ADAPTATION, it's still a hell of a film.

Randall Flan is simple: the titular overly nervous Randall takes his circus into a town that while never having met one, is having an anti blue lion fevor... and his main star just happens to bea n egotistical blue lion who can't take the hint. It's also a nice little diddy on prejudice without really getting heavy into it: everyone hates the blue lions on concept.. but once Bravado performs and they see his talent, pride and heart, they accept him. Granted it's really jus tabou tpissing randall off into chasing bravado around before said acceptance but hey, that works too. It's.. alright. Not quite as great as the other one offs this season, but still a lot of fun with some creative animation.

The Adventures of Patchhead.. is a fever dream. A glorious fever dream but it might be the most bonkers segment this series has put out thus far, as well as one of it's first live action one. I mean Action League Now TECHNICALLY is , but it's more a very limited form of stop motoin animation.

This short, Teed Off, follows a southern golf tourney in a redneck style town, but more in the Pogo or Tom Sawyer sense where it's whimsical and not deeply fucked. Prized Asshole Kid Kudzu is about to win by as he's beaten all comers when our hero arrives: Patchhead, an overalls clad kid with a melon on his head and a wrench for his club who challenges Kid Kudzu. And just in case you hadn't figured it out from the picture yes, Kid Kudzu is played by none other than comedy legend and living god Nick Offerman who you may know as Ron Swanson on parks and rec or Beef Tobin on the HIGHLY underated currently running comic masterpiece the great north

So naturally hearing he was going to be on KaBlam in one of his earliest rolls was a highlight and he did not disapoint. he is entirely game for the hammy mugging this roll required. Adam Sandler if you ever consider making that Happy Gilmore sequel.. well don't but if you have to, please cast Nick Offerman as a southren golf villian. he can even be shooter mcgavins best friend or something just.. we need more of this.

Now it's time for our second KABLAMMY AWARDS, giving out the awards for the best segment for each main series , the best standalone and the best overall. I've spoiled some of these but let's get to it anyway.

Henry and June: Won't Stick to Most Dentalwork. It's just one non stop laugh fest, from the actual murder we can't forget happened to the glorious climax with the Off-Beats stunt show. True comic genius.

Snizz and Fondue: Crustacean Sensations. It's almost entirely for that roadside stand bit, but damn if it isn't a good one and the rest is classsic.

Action League NOW!: Science Fiction Parody. Yeah I changed my mind as I was writing this. The sheer dark comedy here is fucking great.

Life with Loopy: Upside Down Loopy. It's a simple concept, it's fun and the ending is incredibly well set up as it is batshit. Plus it has a loveable bat.

The Off-Beats: Tommy's Song. Tommy's Coat was close, but the animation on the musical notes, them chasing them around and the climax I didn't mention of Repunzil getting the song stuck in EVERYONE'S head at the end.. i'ts all genius.

Startling Short: The Girl with Her Head Falling Off. I didn't hide this one nor would I. A true joy from start to finish. True excellence.

Best Short Overall: This was a really tough one as all the shorts that made it this far are good and the two I narrowed it down to were hard.. but I have to give it to The Girl With Her Head Falling Off. It'd have plenty of tween focused media like it but it's unique animation means there's nothing exactly like it out there, and that's what makes it special. Won't Stick To Most Dental Work was a VERY close second.. but I had to go with my heart.

Next Time: We venture into uncharted territory as Sniz and Fondue tries to go on without it's creator and the show goes on without one of it's founding segments and without i'ts best segment. Will Race Rabbit and Jetcat be able to fill the void? Will I like them? Tune in same kablam time same kablam channel next week to find out.

[your-lie-in-leopril]

◂ ❚ ⊱ꕥ⊰ ❚ ▸

〔 𝐛𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 〕

New York, Eastman High, 20xx

approx. — 9:30 a.m.

karai bored-ly drummed her fingertips against the smooth, scratched up surface of her desk.

resting a cheek on her left hand—half listening to her teacher up front. they were learning about world history and this was something karai had already learned whilst being homeschooled.

honestly — if school was this uneventful, she would’ve opted to just rely on her espionage skills and bug the school to spy on the turtles to gather the information her father oh so needed instead. the teacher’s voice droned on; some of her – ᴀʜᴇᴍ – classmates either were fast asleep or zoned out, not bothering to pay attention.

luckily just an half hour and she’d head to her next class.

ᴛɪᴋ ᴛᴏᴋ ᴛɪᴋ ᴛᴏᴋ ᴛɪᴋ — “ miss táng .ᐣ ”

green eyes focused on her balding, pudgy and divorced teacher.

“ may you repeat what i said — .ᐣ ”

𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦。

karai huffed — and repeats everything to a t finishing with a click of a tongue.

“ t-that’s correct、thank you miss táng。now — during the eras of medieval europe。。ʙʟᴀʜ ʙʟᴀʜ ʙʟᴀʜ。”

karai proceeded to muffle his voice.

she yawns covering her mouth with a fist.

luckily the bell rings signifying dismissal and five minute limit to get to your next class.

getting up — karai gathered her items, slinging her backpack unto her shoulder. the teacher said something about homework or whatever as they left. paying no mind to his babble, karai exits the classroom and heads for her assigned locker. she twists and turns the lock to access the contents inside of her locker; with a click, it opens and she switches the world history book for her chemistry textbook.

slams the locker shut and readies herself to head to the next period when karai bumps into something solid.

an annoyed hiss escapes the punk teen.

“ karai — babe、you’re fine as hell .ᐟ go out with me。just give me a chance。”

“ never in your life — dylan、now leave me alone。”

she goes to leave once more when a hand stops her.

“ whoa、whoa — cool your jets sweetheart。you haven’t had the taste of dylan o’bry — ”

karai throws him—making his body hits the ground, ʜᴀʀᴅ.

“ go fuck yourself、now leave me alone you piece of shit — ( *ᴡʜᴀᴄᴋ ) ”

she kicks his face in—drawing out blood and a fractured nose with sweetheart。you haven’t had the taste of dylan o’bry — ”

she kicks his face in—drawing out blood and a fractured nose with broken teeth.

karai heads off to class without much hassle this time around — dylan slowly gets up, groaning as he snarls.

“ stupid bitch — i’ma make her pay。”

the rest of the day went without fuss and karai thanks the gods, wanting to go home however she still needs to scavenge through the turtle’s lockers to find something of use — for her father. karai’s been keeping tabs all day.

she watches them interact with their respective clubs and electives — so far this is what she’s gathered.

⌜✎⌟

leonardo, or “leo” seems to be the turtle in charge despite being awkward, anxious, dorky and clumsy with himself. his brothers often clown him, than taking him seriously—but do listen when it matters.

he also seems to be hard crushing on that o’neil girl.

⌜✎⌟

raphael — “raph” is the second oldest and aggressive one of the bunch. always eager to fight, and a lil too trigger happy. however he’s strong as he is effective on getting things done; gets scolded a lot for his recklessness.

he does seem to have a 𝙨𝙤𝙛𝙩 spot for his brothers.

⌜✎⌟

donatello – ‘donnie’ ; ‘dee’ ; ‘don’ — is the second youngest of the four. gifted with genius and intellect, he thrives on technology and science. his brothers often refer to him as the “brains” of the group and rely on him for almost everything. seems he is uh—an anime nerd and k-pop enthusiast.

side note: who is BTS ?

⌜✎⌟

michelangelo aka ‘mikey’ is the youngest of the three. he is youthful, cherry, funny — the heart of the group, he excels at improv.

though he seems to dislike conflict.

granted this was weeks after weeks of studying the teens — whole ass month.

karai decides to head home now, so she can be of use to her father and hunt down the turtles. exiting the school, she walks towards the direction of the hideout — halfway through she ends up surrounded by men baring dragon tattoos.

karai scoffed — dumping her backpack onto the floor.

“ yous karai — .ᐣ ”

quirks a brow.

“ who would like to know .ᐣ ”

this big, burly bald man speaks,

“ dylan o’bryen。”

a snort , then full blown laughter is heard from the kunoichi.

“ you’re that pig’s henchmen。

“ how lame。”

the bald one does a notion and then they’re all rushing her — and karai easily disposes of them one by one without any effort.

this is light work.

so there she goes, dancing in the pale moonlight. unbeknownst to the japanese teen — the turtle brothers were out on their evening patrols.

leonardo who had been leading his brothers through the rooftops — spotted the girl.

“ guys look — it’s karai .ᐟ ”

he pointed and his brothers turned, curious.

“ seems like she’s having fun。”

donnie remarks next to raph — the teens having ceased running — mikey just watches.

“ i think we should help。”

leo says, walking over to the ledge.

“ why—she kicking ass and uh、unless you forgot、karai’s a bad guy .ᐣ ”

raph drawled out, making small movements with his hand.

“ still — she could get hurt、it’s our job to protect 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦。”

the blue masked turtle reminds them and makes his way down the fire escape. the three brothers share a worrisome look before following after their brother. karai let’s out irritated sigh — just how much more of these guys are there? she has the stamina for days — so this isn’t an issue. what is the issue, is that karai isn’t paying attention to the bald one so he manages to get in a hit.

a harsh, rough kick landing on her back — causing her to flinch and let out scream as karai’s sent flying, and smacks into a nearby wall, only intensifying the pain. she probably broke a rib or two — at best, it’s not for certain. carefully karai shuffles herself upright — resting against the bricked wall, panting heavily. a click is heard and a gun’s pointed at her face.

“ say goodbye bitch。”

karai snarls, cursing her incompetence and accepting her fate when — ( * ᴡʜᴀᴍ )

leonardo comes to her rescue with a flying kick to the goon’s head. rendering him unconscious. karai is startled — but relieved at the same time. though, it would seem she now owed this dork a favor.

“ i suppose i owe you a — ”

karai says briefly before quietening down. the moonlight illuminating leonardo as he offered a hand — his mask tails flowing freely. his eyes suddenly appeared to be twinkling; soft nurturing passion simmered in those beautiful chocolate hues. leo’s now colored in this pretty pink tint. and he’s shinning and bright, and, and…breathtaking.

♪ ♫ ♬

𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘥𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬

𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘢 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘬

𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘪𝘱 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘰𝘭

𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘰, 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘰

𝘮𝘺, 𝘮𝘺, 𝘮𝘺, 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦?

♪ ♫ ♬

𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘦

𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘦

𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘰, 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘰

𝘪'𝘮 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦, 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸

𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦'𝘴 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘰

𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘰

♪ ♫ ♬

karai blinks stupidly, realizing leo’s being calling out to her.

“ uh karai .ᐣ you okay .ᐣ because you’ve been silent for the last five minutes。”

leonardo says, addressing her — sounding nervous and then — ( *fwsssh )

her face is burning up ; turning a lovely crimson as she gingerly accepts his hand — taking note of leo’s ᴡᴀʀᴍᴛʜ. shakily she stands on her feet and stumbles, though leonardo catches her.

“ easy、you took quite the hit。”

his voice is gentle, and kind—none of that condescending tone or harsh words. leo is offering her support and karai can’t help but lean into him—curling to his side; if leonardo is aware, he doesn’t say anything. she’s limping slightly as leo reunited with his brothers.

“ hey guys — i’m gonna go take karai home。”

shrill of disbelieving 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁s are heard from the brothers.

“ are you 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘦 .ᐣ ” raph huffs — pinching the bridge of his beak.

“ she’s the enemy, the bad guy or did you forget leo .ᐣ ”

donnie and mikey just nod in agreement.

“ no、but raph — just look at her。she’s injured and unable to walk。it would be cruel to just leave her be。”

the turtle brothers exchange on last look before conceding into leonardo’s heroic and martyr nature.

“ okay fine — but head straight back once you’re finished。”

raph hissed, gnashing his teeth together.

“ promise。”

and with that, the brothers part and leonardo turns his head to karai.

“ are you strong enough for a piggyback .ᐣ ”

karai nods letting go slowly and watches as leo gets onto his knee, attention on her. all too suddenly she’s self conscious about her hygiene and if she smells ok—snap out of it! karai climbs onto him and the turtle’s hand holds onto her thigh and climbs the nearest fire escape with ease—not struggling at all.

𝘩𝘦’𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨。

karai mused to herself, letting her head rest on his shoulder as leo makes his way through the roofs of new york — she’s giving him directions of course, somewhere near the hideout but also far enough to keep the secrecy of its location. eyes half lidded — karai’s notices just how prettily the lights of new york shine under the night sky. painting the world in many wonderful colors. her stomach feels funny — ticklish and light; nervous. karai then closes her eyes — letting herself be vulnerable and small. after all, her leo wouldn’t hurt her.

“ karai — .ᐣ ”

slowly lifting her head, karai mumbles a tiny ‘ ʏᴇꜱ .ᐣ ’

“ we’re here。”

leonardo says with a whisper, mindful of people’s sleep.

“ thank you。”

karai murmurs, getting off of leo.

“ are you sure that you’re alright .ᐣ ”

the anxious teen asks, his handsome boyish face scrunched up in mild worry.

“ yeah—i’ll be fine、just need some rest with first aid、and then i’ll be right as rain。”

karai eases his concerns with a scoff, dismissing him. leonardo studies her briefly before nodding and turns, ready to leave. and —

“ w-wait .ᐟ ”

karai unconscious grabs ahold of his arm which causes leo’s attention to fall on her

“ yeah .ᐣ ”

she’s at loss for words; not expecting to have acted out subconsciously.

“ i-i just wanted to say, t-that i owe you one。”

leonardo rolls his eyes with a snort.

“ don’t — it’s what heroes do。later .ᐟ ”

giving a two fingered salute—the turtle disappears into the night, leaving a bewildered, questioning karai to her musings.

【𝓔𝓷𝓭.】

; ʚ♡ɞ

[tlblitzle]

So I ultimately decided Tix was right that I was charging ahead too fast (we had a nice chat about it and a bunch of other stuff last night when I stopped by at @koffing-time, and I have a much greater respect for Striaton Gym now. Sorry, Olivia!), so today was a break day! I decided I’d try and end the day back home in Nimbasa if I could, but the when and how weren’t so important. And seeing as yesterday’s break was mostly for me (sleeping in, Nacrene Museum, and having some excellent cafe treats), today was for the team! And HOO BOY do I have pics and video to share. First up, Ozone had so much fun running the Skyarrow yesterday that I just HAD to give him another go at it and run him through some drills

[A video taken on Skyarrow Bridge. Ozone is in a ready stance off in the distance, the camera trained on him. Storm, off-camera, waits for a beat before whistling and calling out for him. The Zebstrika is off in an instant, barreling down the bridge towards the trainer. Within moments, he’s flying past the camera, hooffalls slowing as Storm brings it around to catch Ozone turning around and plodding back to receive a couple poffins pulled from a baggie. After a few pats on the face and a “good boy~” the video ends]

We also did some more riding practice on the way back to Castelia, where Lux got to play at the docks again. Didn’t film that seeing as I just got footage of him at the docks a couple days ago, but that did let me play some games with him! It’s much more enriching and safe if I’ve got an activity planned to hold his focus, after all. I did, however, take the time to meet up with a few of Burgh’s gym trainers. Bugs aren’t my forte and I wanted some advice, so we talked about that over lunch and Beanie got to play with some Pokémon more her size

[A pair of pictures, both in Castelia. The first is a selfie with Storm and a few other people, all still done up as clowns, in an outdoor eating area. Presumably this is the gym trainers’ lunch break, based on the position of the sun. Storm, meanwhile, has dressed as not to be totally outdone. He’s done his makeup in bright colors today, with a pink/yellow/blue motif and nails to match. Her earring choice for the day is a pair of dangly lightning bolts, which stand out nicely against his dark hair. The last of the outfit in frame is a bright blue scarf around his neck and a similarly bright floral (matching the color scheme no less) under a black leather jacket. The second picture is an assortment of very small bug types gathered in a backroom of the Castelia Gym, in the midst of playing. Beanie’s playmates include a Cutiefly, another Joltik, a couple Burmy, and the largest among them, a Dwebble and a Durant]

After that, I secured myself as best I could and made the trek back through route 4. I considered a detour over to the resort, but decided it wasn’t worth the effort, because I still had to give Nimbus and Dymie their attention back in Nimbasa (though I let them lead my battles along the way). And check it out!

[A picture of Dymie! Nimbus is underneath the Magneton, nuzzling against it as its eyes remain fixed on the camera. It isn’t aiming its magnets at the device, though, and appears to be tolerating the situation well enough. Nimbus, for her part, doesn’t seem to care about the camera in the slightest, entirely fixated on her wary teammate. She seems a tad floofier than usual, perhaps from rubbing against her fellow electric type. The setting itself appears to be Storm’s home]

This isn’t perfect progress or anything, I still can’t take pictures of Dymie solo, but I remembered I have something of a silver bullet. Nimbus is pretty good with soothing my team, and after giving it a little time to adjust to my place, the low-stimulation environment seemed to have helped Dymie a lot! I dunno what it is about Nimbus that’s so calming, but definitely feel it too when we cuddle. Speaking of! I’m just spending the rest of the day at home with the team, because we’ve all had a busy past couple days. Clay’s gym can be a worry for future Storm

[shummashum]

Klaus Goldstein Ch12 [1~5]

Previously on Ch11! Liz, who successfully completed her first class, finally confirmed her feelings to Klaus after a series of events! But the flags pile up too much

and now it's Amel's turn again I gotta say, I'm a bit tired of this dorm scene with her because it's just a series of identical scenes Amel acts like a mere supporting character well she is indeed a supporting character, but she is so unattractive as a character. she doesn't have any noticeable personality at all all she does is tell love stories, give relationship advice, and lament with envy when she sees Liz winning her love. of course I know the character Amel exists as a device to lead that kind of story, but… you know

Anyway, Liz told Amel everything that had happened between her and Klaus.

balance, huh all she did was nothing but clowning ← are you meaning like that or what

Anway, as they were laughing and talking like that…

eh what's up

it'll be Klaus… right? well if this flow continues, the probability of anyone other than Klaus appearing is low

but Goldstein is not exclusive to Klaus! what if the visitor was Eli plot-twist

So she quickly changed her clothes and headed to the front.

no reversal why wasn't it Eli no fun~~ anyway what brings you here

whut right now? but who summoned you guys

huh it's not polite do they know what time is it now? Prefects are not their employees, and our S6 comrades have no obligation to follow the order just because they were called tell the Ministry fuck off

and they're asking for that at this late hour it's fucking rude calling them out in the middle of the night without any notice… this happens frequently within the Ministry, huh? well that's why they confidently do this to outsiders too fuck you Ministry I don't think I need to be polite to you

After hearing this news, Liz quietly muttered that she had a bad feeling.

hah no I'm fucking not that bunch of sick bastards

+1 flag accumulation simultaneously, +1 rudeness you're saying like this and you expected she looked you as a perfect gentleman where is your conscience

Anyway, they headed to the Headmaster's office while holding hands.

Just then? oh I know, it's Zeus he'll be yelling like an elementary school kid caught his friend calling another kid of the opposite sex by his or her first name

anyway if S6 comrades found out Liz and Klaus were dating: Al will smile brightly when hiding his feelings Cae will smile as if he knew all the events that happened and tease her Hiro will just watch all of this with "that certain overtime and bullshit blabla look" I can see it

oh… it really was Zeus (and Hiro)

but they didn't notice anything at all? huh,,,,,,

Anyway they arrived at the office.

so are they going to take charge of it from now on? okay let's hand over the investigative authority to them, it was their duty in the first place

hah I summon you. I don't give a shit about the time. You must come here tomorrow morning no mather what. ← this is……… why? is all social life like this? I really don't like it,,,

oh?

I… thought he would complain about the same thing as me? and what the fuck is right foot it's right hand, you damn idiot…… you need to take elementary school vocabulary class again

little heavy? little??? I bet the Ministry contacted the Prefects at this hour because they was so excited about finding a doormat to hand over the work to

Well Remb allowed Hiro to accompany them, and so the Prefects, Hiro, and Remb headed to the Ministry.

[lookingupatthesamemoon]

Summer of Selfship Week 4: Camping + Allergy

pairing: Ms. Marlowe Rubens + Vice Principal Neal Gamby

summary: Marlowe and Neal find themselves stuck on yet another History field trip.

word count: 1.5k

divider by @/saradika :3

“Why the hell did we agree to this?” Marlowe asked, her voice hoarse from the mucus already building up in her sinuses. She sniffled, just barely recovering from what she knew would be the first of many sneezing fits on this three day camping trip.

“Because we had no choice,” Neal scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Fuckin’ Belinda…”

“I know,” Marlowe sighed. “I usually wouldn’t be caught dead camping in a fuckin’ tent… Especially now. I mean, Christ, it’s, like, the height of allergy season.”

“Yeah, I can see that.”

“Fuck off, Gamby,” Marlowe replied, a small smile tugging at her lips. “You’re lucky the pollen isn’t turning you into a mucus ball.”

The two were lagging behind the rest of the group, composed of fifteen students and one Bill Hayden at the helm. Frankly, Marlowe couldn’t believe that Mr. Hayden had convinced Dr. Belinda Brown that this camping trip out in the middle of nowhere would be a brilliant History field trip for a bunch of teenagers. It was even more confusing to her why she and Gamby just “had” to be there – Belinda’s orders. She guessed it had to be some kind of karmic punishment for the last field trip that they had both scammed their way onto. It was her own fault for being so good at her job, she supposed. Hiking multiple miles uphill to a muddy, bare-bones campsite was far worse than having to pretend to live in the colonial era, she decided.

Her thoughts were interrupted by another sneeze. “Christ,” she sniffled, “I feel like it’s never ending.”

“Yeah, I’m startin’ to feel that way, too,” Neal sighed.

“Hey, I can’t just not sneeze. If that was possible I would just stop sneezing.”

“It’s not just that,” Neal argued. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s an annoying fuckin’ soundtrack, but-”

“Hey!”

“But I’m not exactly in the best shape of my life, and this hill is doin’ a number on my calves right now.”

“Yeah… Mine too. God, this hike better be worth it. You think we’ve got cabins or what?”

Neal chuckled. “Our school doesn’t have that kind of budget and you know it. Christ, I’m surprised they could even afford to supply us tents.”

Marlowe laughed, just loud enough to catch the attention of the students that were now rather far ahead. They turned their heads, but immediately swiveled them back around when they caught Vice Principal Gamby’s trademark scowl. 

After another few minutes, Marlowe and Neal could see the hill cresting ahead. The end was nigh. Marlowe could hear Neal’s breath heaving as they reached the top. She would poke fun at him for it if she wasn’t almost out of breath herself. It was a rather large site, but quite far from the campground’s facilities. This was purposeful, of course, as the trip was supposedly about “creating civilization,” but Marlowe had at least hoped she wouldn’t have to walk a mile to the nearest bathroom.

They had already missed the first half of Bill’s surely riveting speech on safety and teamwork and whatever the hell else he was blathering on about. As he finished up, Marlowe and Neal couldn’t help but make faces at each other, stifling laughter both at Bill and themselves. They both thought he was a bit of a tool, and Neal especially couldn’t pass up on a chance to clown on him.

“Now, you’ll all be in charge of setting up your own tents, but I encourage you to work together if you find yourselves running into any trouble. Of course, Ms. Rubens, Mr. Gamby, and I will also be here if you need us. Three of you to a tent, no more, no less.”

As the students scrambled for their tents and began to set up their camps, Marlowe and Neal finally approached Bill for their own tents. “Three to a tent, huh? That’s not the case for us, is it?” Neal asked jokingly.

“Yeah, uh, about that,” Bill chuckled nervously, his hand rubbing at the back of his neck.

“Bill, what the hell did you do?” Marlowe questioned, her eyebrow raising.

“Well, it seems we’re short one tent,” he explained. “And, you know, since we can’t fit six seventeen year olds into one tent, one of us has to make a sacrifice.”

Marlowe scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Can you not just have a couple groups of four?”

“‘Fraid not, Marlowe,” Bill replied, a slight smirk appearing on his face. “And since I already know Gamby and I would rather wrestle bears than share a tent, you’ve got quite the choice to make. Though, I suppose you’ll probably take Gamby, right? You two did seem to get awfully close on that last field trip.”

This was true. Marlowe sighed as she remembered herself and Neal “pretending” to be dating for the sake of getting Abbott off his back, kissing drunkenly in the hotel bar for everyone to see. She could swear that out of the corner of her eye she could see a slight pink hue emerging on Neal’s cheeks as he seemingly remembered the same evening. It was interesting, the dynamic between Neal Gamby and Marlowe Rubens. They made perfect sense as friends, but neither of them could really deny that they were curious about being something more to each other. And after that field trip, they did try… But Neal decided, with Marlowe’s general lack of true romantic nature, that it would be a bit too complicated for him to really properly pursue. It was no skin off Marlowe’s back, really, but at the same time part of her wished they could’ve seen where things could’ve gone.

“Yeah,” she finally spoke, “I’ll room with Gamby. I think we can handle crashing in the same tent for a couple nights, hmm?”

As evening approached, though, they both began to have doubts that they’d survive sleeping next to each other. The shitty air mattress sunk in as soon as Neal laid down on it, causing Marlowe to roll right into him – which, to be fair, was not the worst situation she could find herself in, but combined with her horrendous allergies, it was somewhat of a sensory nightmare. And Marlowe, of course, could not stop fucking sneezing, which was driving both of them to the brink of insanity.

“Jesus Christ,” Neal exhaled, sitting up. “Are you ever gonna stop?”

“I can’t help it, Gamby, God,” Marlowe scoffed. “Why the fuck are we here right now? I feel like shit, I’m all sweaty and snotty, and you turning the air mattress into a vortex sucking us in really isn’t helping.”

“Yeah, well, you makin’ all that noise isn’t helpin’ me, either. And with all that sneezin’ and snot and shit I feel like I’m gonna catch some venereal disease or somethin’.”

Marlowe stifled a laugh. “Do you even know what that means?”

“... No. So what?”

“A venereal disease is an STD, Gamby, and you sure as shit aren’t getting one from me.”

Neal chuckled. “Because you’re clean, or because you’re not fuckin’ me?”

“Both,” Marlowe snickered. “Look, Gamby, I don’t think we’re gonna get much sleep like this… Maybe we should just go sit out by the firepit? At least, until we’re tired enough to, like, actually pass out instead of just laying here bickering?”

“I like the way you think, Rubens,” Neal smirked. He threw on one of his polos over the wifebeater he was planning to sleep in, unzipping the tent so he could get a head start on the fire. The students had gathered plenty of wood before the sun went down, so there was more than enough to start another one. Marlowe followed shortly after, putting a sweatshirt on over her pajamas before taking a seat on a nearby log.

She watched as Neal lit the fire, rubbing at her nose in an attempt to avoid another oncoming sneezing fit. She failed, of course, burying her face in the crease of her elbow as the first of what she could only assume were many sneezes escaped.

“You know, for what it’s worth,” Neal started, taking his place on the log next to her, “you do have a cute sneeze.”

Marlowe couldn’t help but laugh. “You cannot be serious.”

“I am. It’s kinda like… Maybe a baby elephant that struggles with some kind of ongoing sinus infection? It’s annoying in large quantities but… You know, other than that, it’s cute.”

“Well… Thanks, I guess.”

If she had more energy, she might’ve steered the conversation to a more serious discussion about what they were doing, what they both wanted – instead, she allowed herself to rest her head on his shoulder, laughing softly as they discussed the last field trip they had been on together. It felt natural to her, so much so that, after a while, she found herself dozing off. Even before she was fully asleep against Neal, she could already hear the laughter from the students that would surely wake her up in the morning.