#now back to work agian bc my break is way past over

[banalras]

I'm rlly bad at plotting so here are some things in my head i would like to explore, its a very random list, but if anything vibes with u feel free to pick it up either for a meme or for plotting??

post veilguard always, there is a lot to explore there of how much arie's life changes. there's also some neat lil adventures to be had, like going back south to val royeux that's FUN.

the whole post blood of arla than fallout with arie taking a couple of days off to just go to minrathous on a murder vacation. warnings for like... ykno VERY violent murdering, but its venatori so it's fine.

more of a location with the lil blue flowers of weisshaupt, it's just NICE okay? could be paired with a chill conversation about specific issues, fears, confessions, whatever.

wicked hearts and wicked eyes always.

arie learning your muse's culture, because he's just sooo hungry for it.

something related to arie's post veilguard powers, seeing some kind of ghost related to your muse's past as a tool to explore past trauma or grief??

threads about a muse teaching the other something.

post fade trap angt.

weisshaupt, weisshaupt, weisshaupt, muddy hellhole of misery.

just vibin in the treviso market because it's nice and its funny to bring the feral cat to do something normal in a place that looks for the most part normal. Excuse to also explore what each character likes, what foods, what trinkets, what interests them.

awkward visit to mom in the alienage jkfhg this would have to be inquisition era.

shadow dragons era, working on a particular job for them, and seeing how different arie actually is during that time.

something during that 10 year gap post inquisition, go nuts. entirely random plots like a random job they have to do together that could involve the usual suspect tropes.

elven rebellion spy arie. still under co but ykno, it's there, it exists.

just exploring your muses past or things they are hunged up on, make arie awkwardly tag along on their personal quest.

DYNAMICS

a really close friendship, more than friendship even, the type that people think they are in an actual relationship but it's entirely platonic. that friend you share a bed with to avoid nightmares, and just are all over each other annoyingly. but again completely platonic, it's just that level of intimacy of feeling safe and comfortable with someone.

familial type of dynamics. older sibiling/younger sibiling, parental type, the murdery cousin that cares.

enemies to friends, loathing each other but then learning to fight together and becoming deeply respectful of each other.

unrequited love (this would have to be very plotted) but yeah, like either from arie's side and they will never do anything about it. or from the opposite side with arie being almost unreachable in that sense.

[bartsugsy]

can i add my voice to the people wanting to know what the bartsugsy theory is... I have my own theory which involves vic volunteering to raise the baby so it'll be interesting to hear what other people are thinking

Ok. Ok. I’m gonna write this bc Lena @stolemyhheart keeps taking the piss out of me for having written more Rebecca meta since Thursday than Robron meta lmao.

It’s not so much a theory as it is an observation (gotta love the Drought). This really was all constructed entirely with @itwasjustmisplaced and so is at least 50% hers too.

(Although it does delve into theorising too bc why not, at this point)

This also ties very closely into the idea that all of the stories that started with SSW are starting to come to a close - because that’s where this started.

“This” being - for this entire robron storyline - both Robert planning to propose and Rebecca’s interference.

But beyond that, and where this theory comes into play - Adam and Victoria have been consistently involved in the story, on the fringes of the action, even in the ways that don’t make sense, whilst at the exact same time ultimately having a very similar story of their own play out. 

Which, to me, is suspicious.

And it started with SSW.

A pre-warning: this is so Extra that I feel like I should be embarrassed about it but whatever, I’m gonna live up to my URL and my love of reading too deeply into things so just… humour me, I guess.

Here we go:

The Bartsugsy Theory

The general gist of the Bartsugsy Theory is that Adam and Vic have been not just involved in Robert and Aaron’s storylines, while also having their own very similar storyline running parallel and will soon be on the sideline of a storyline that directly parallels a past Vadam storyline (the Johnny/Vanessa baby daddy swap). The ultimate purpose is to say that there are too many similarities in play for this not to be purposeful on some level and as such, potentially leading somewhere in-plot.

There’s a lot of different threads to this, so let’s take it one at a time.

1. Vadam currently have a storyline that directly mirrors Robron’s storyline

Now, we know that robron often have storylines that are basically vadam storylines amped up to 12 (like the wedding and impending trial, for instance), but never have we seen them run simultaneously. 

Upon examination, it’s like looking at the robron storyline through a funhouse mirror - it involves babies, break ups, drunk cheating with an ex, miscommunication from the start. 

Victoria wants a baby and Adam gets slowly, sort of reluctantly on board. Adam finds out he can’t have kids and flips out. He and Vic try to work through it and really struggle with the idea. Adam and Vic sort of break up, get back together again and then break up again, and then Adam gets drunk and kisses an also drunk Vanessa, who he has cheated on Vic before with. She looks horrified and he immediately backs off and apologises. Adam literally sort of just loses the plot a bit, Vic finds out despite Adam’s efforts to keep it secret and she breaks up with him.

Aaron is in jail and Robert is finding it hard (and doesn’t realise that Aaron is finding it harder). Aaron develops a two week spice addiction, Robert is unable to see him for 24 hours and then when he finally does, sees a person who is not Aaron his husband. Robert flips out, gets drunk, tries to destroy their future home by trashing the mill and then tries to destroy their future by sleeping with Rebecca, who may or may not also be drunk we just don’t know. Rebecca gets pregnant and Robert tries to keep it quiet, and then when he eventually succeeds, tells Aaron anyway because he feels guilty, because character development (for another post this is gonna be long enough as it is) and they stay together.

There are a lot of similarities, and that has helped the robron plot move along in numerous ways. 

Which brings us to:

2. Adam and Victoria have been on the fringes of this Robron plot since it started with SSW.

Because it’s not just that we have these two storylines running concurrently, which in and of itself is weird but not cause for actual suspicion, it’s that they’re also so entertwined - and only in one direction.

So, we start at the beginning. This story started with Rebecca -

(Well, no, technically it started with Andy, but we don’t have all day and he’s largely irrelevant to the story at this point - the biggest catalyst for most of the things that have happened in this storyline, outside of the proposal and wedding, is Rebecca)

Robert wanted revenge on Chrissie, so he called in secret weapon Rebecca White. A super solid Robert Sugden plan, I think we can all agree. He’s so great at plans. What a Star Planner.

Rebecca arrives at the village in her plotcopter on 11th October and her arrival starts the set up of a number of things - mainly, the fact that she and Robert used to be in a relationship and clearly still wants to be, the fact that she is easily manipulated by Robert, the Lachlan/SSW stuff and the fact that Robert is being… somewhat open with Aaron about why Rebecca is in town, but isn’t disclosing the fact that he got her there and is keeping her around by flirting heavily with her and playing with her apparently still present feelings for him.

Two days later, on the 13th, its Holly’s funeral. A few notable things happen here - Aaron and Rebecca meet for the first time and Rebecca sees Aaron and Robert together for the first time. Robert becomes markedly less kind to Rebecca where Aaron is involved. 

This also happens to be the episode with the first ever Bartsugsy scene - a scene that literally sets up SSW and Robert’s plan to propose to Aaron.

Skipping ahead just a few days (although Vic is still very much involved as Robert’s one confidante as he plans to propose) - during SSW we have Vic and Adam coming to the aid of Robert and Aaron (because Vic had wanted to help Doug look for Ashley). It’s immense, it’s the most epic bartsugsy stuff in existence (not that there’s much competition smh) and it continues into the hospital scenes throughout the week and then in the Monday aftermath episode.

So… all this to say, Victoria and Adam were embroiled in Robert and Aaron’s storyline at the same time as Rebecca came along. Quite literally at the start of the storyline.

Rebecca’s function in the storyline? A catalyst for Lachlan to try to take his revenge on Robert, leading to the kidnapping plot, and tying in the continuing plot of the Sugdens vs The Whites.

Let’s flash forward some time, to the past few months, where this storyline obviously took a turn into what it’s become now. During this time, through November and December, as things are being set up, Robert and Aaron are having difficulties with Rebecca and jealousy and Robert’s manipulations of her and Adam and Victoria decide that they want to start trying for a baby.

I’ve said this before, but I’ve been sort of looking at this current leg of the story as being pillared by two arguments - the January argument just before they were about to get married and the reveal argument, with the midway turning point being the Incident.

Here are some ways in which Adam and Vic continue to be present throughout the story:

In the january argument, Victoria is the one who interupts, who tries to talk both Aaron and Robert down and who ultimately sees Aaron beating up Kasim.

We have more bartsugsy scenes during the wedding and as Aaron goes off to prison and then, in our first instance of one of Vadam being a part of Robron’s story even when it doesn’t make sense, Adam gets roped into doing up the Mill. Adam, who is running the Scrapyard by himself (yes ok with the help of Robert, but he also has Liv and his own business and an impending breakdown to deal with) while Aaron is away, still finds time to help Ronnie refurb a whole house.

And why? What does it do, beyond put Adam in Robert’s orbit? It allows Adam and Ronnie to bond but they could have done that anyway. It makes no sense, why Adam would be given this particular role.

What it does mean is that, on the night of the incident, Adam is there to witness Robert have his meltdown and report back to Victoria, in hearing range of Rebecca (presumably as a way to make her ditch Ross as soon as she can, to go take care of him, because she’s still in love with him.)

In the second instance of Vadam being where they don’t belong, we have Victoria’s sudden friendship with Rebecca, which is only just now coming to a head, now that she knows about the baby being Robert’s. She has acted as Rebecca’s emotional mouthpiece, the one person who was championing Rebecca keeping the baby - likely coming from a place of suddenly not about to have her own. Given how supportive Chrissie has been, she could have played that role and it would have made far more sense - but instead, we have Victoira. Suddenly Rebecca’s best friend.

And agian, for what purpose? Because character-wise, it makes no sense? I think we really have yet to see how Vic might be used in this plot, but she’s very much present.

Even in the reveal ep, we get Vic and Adam helping Robert and Aaron move in, entirely seperately now that they’ve split. We have Aaron using Vic’s current situation to make an unknowing slight at Robert and make things harder for Robert. Then later we have Robert relying on both Adam and Victoria to look out for Aaron.

Vic and Adam see first hand the toll that Aaron being in prison takes on Robert, we have them playing a much more active role in keeping him calm than Chas does, for instance, or Diane (who is absent almost entirely). Since Aaron’s been out, we’ve had numerous sweet scenes of Aaron and Victoria talking - the two wronged spouses, in a way (although both contributed to the problems in their marraige as well, I’d argue)

They are everywhere, all over this story. On the flip side, Robert and Aaron have barely even dipped their toes into Vadam’s story, despite there being opportunity and reason. 

Now, again, none of this is particularly unusual - Vic and Adam are typically individually Robert and Aaron’s go-to confidantes. It doesn’t tend to happen all that regularly though - and Vic and Adam are linked to the story through the Whites (or Ronnie, in Adam’s case) as much as they are Aaron and Robert.

Taking into consideration the big similarities between this story and Vic and Adam’s current story and just how closely everything is entertwined and has been since the start makes me think it was absolutely deliberate, though.

Which brings us to the final point:

3. Robert and Aaron are reliving Victoria and Adam’s past and no one has said anything

So, I’ve saidbefore that Aaron and Robert tend to live through stories that Vic and Adamhave already dealt with (and usually in ways that carry more narrativeweight). 

This though? Thissort of takes the cake.

A refresher on theJohnny storyline, for those who may not remember:

Adam and Vic argue(about their engagement, I believe), they sort of break up don’t break up but vic does break off their engagement (ah fact checking), Adam bangs Vanessa,VIctoria and Adam get back together immediately afterwards and Vanessa fallspregnant. Vanessa also happened to be sleeping with Kirin at the same time andso did not know who the father of her baby was. Victoria finds out about theone night stand during hers and Adam’s housewarming party, which takes place onthe day they move in together. It seems as though it’s Adam’s and Victoriaultimately decides to support Adam in becoming a father to baby Johnny untilultimately, they discover that the baby was in fact Kirin’s all along.

This storyline?

Robert and Aaronargued, they sort of but defintiely don’t break up, Robert bangs Rebecca,Robert and Aaron make up immediately afterwards and Rebecca falls pregnant.Rebecca also happens to be sleeping with Ross at the same time but apparentlyknows exactly who the father is. Aaron finds out when Robert tells him, Roberthaving cancelled their housewarming party, on the day they move in together.Aaron is, according to spoilers, going to try and support the idea of Robertbecoming a father to this baby.

Now…. if nothingelse, even if you don’t think the level of involvement Adam and Victoriacurrently have in this storyline is unusual, or the fact that Vadam’s fertilityissues have almost provided the backdrop to it - this, it’s pretty damn clear,is intentional.

The thing that really gives this credence, for me, is the housewarmingparty. For Aaron and Robert, that plot point is entirely unnecessary. Theydecide to plan a party a few days after they come home from a 5 week trip, onthe day they’re due to move into their house, when they don’t seem to evenstart either packing their things or planning their party until the day before.The party is cancelled so that Robert can come clean – and it feels like adirect shout out to what Adam should have done and the fact that these twostorylines are incredibly similar.

Saying this, the one difference – the thing that I’ve convenientlyskipped over so far?

The Johnny story revolves around a DNA test. Adam thinks he’s Johnny’sdad because Kirin’s dad Rakesh changes the DNA test results to make it so (ashe doesn’t want his teenage son to have to take responsibility of an infant).

In this story? One of the biggest complaints is that the show made adirect and very clear point to say that Rebecca and Ross slept together on the dayseither side of the Incident

(and probably more than that? They’re two young adults with no ties, whyshouldn’t they be spending their time boning – but canon very clearly statesthey banged at least those two times)

But that Rebecca seemed to just know that the baby was Robert’s – and everysingle person has believed her so far.

But of course, you know Vic and Adam have been going through their ownfertility story – as a consequence, both of them have brought up Johnny andAdam’s feelings towards him on multiple occasions. That story relates closelyto their current story, as we now know that Adam couldn’t have fathered Johnnyat all.

Adam and Vic, who are very much engrained in Robert and Aaron’s story,one of whom are always there during the big moments.

Adam and Vic, who are now going to know about the situation.

You see, my instinct is that all that needs to happen to get Robert toask for a DNA test is for either Adam or Vic to talk about it – and why wouldn’tthey? Why wouldn’t this be their first concern??? It literally only happened tothem last year.

Victoria, who is now about to have pointed issues with Rebecca for lying.

And Adam, who we know is going to be sharing scenes with Robert andAaron going forward, who, it’s hinted, might crash at the Mill for a bit whilehe has nowhere else to go.

I’m not saying that it’s not true,that Robert isn’t the Dad. I’m just saying that it’s suspicious that this isthe one big detail from Adam’s storyline that is absent and glaringly,incredibly so. I mean, I just can’t understand why we’ve never seen any medicalprofessionals in this story, why every piece of information we know about thepregnancy is straight from Rebecca’s mouth. It doesn’t make sense and it makesit feel unreliable.

And I don’t know how they could have this storyline continue and not haveeither Victoria or Adam talk about their experiences with Johnny – where theycouldn’t trust the DNA test but ultimately it came through.

It’s suspicious to me, as many things in this storyline are.

I feel like Vadam going through a similar situation, having the abilityto very closely emphasise with Robron in a number of ways, gives me hope thatthe four of them will help fix one another, that they can play sounding boardin ways that make sense, that they can bond over the similarities of thesituations they find themselves in.

And that ultimately, Victoria and Adam can use their experiences toshape the future of this storyline. Because honestly, why else would they be socontinually involved?

[survivor-all-stars-blog]

EP 7: "Today Was 100% Certified Garbage" - Abbey [ PART I ]

Those tribals could've been way worse huh? Steffen and Lydia are both safe, which is super good, and I'm glad that something went Steffen's way because now he's back in a good mood. I'm super worried for Jake now that we have this...quadruple tribal shit goin on..... in ter esting 

But over the past few days I've been trying to lay low. After my outrage at the voting immunity and then my performance in the tasks one, I knew I needed to just remove myself from the spotlight, and that's what I tried to do. Still, there's been some work to do...

I had the most awkward conversation in the world with MJ and found out that Ricardo is the one who ratted me out to Kait and I SCREAMED I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN SDKFJHSFJDFSKSDH

i dont remember how much i put in confessional but basically she called me and was like "why are you talking shit about me" and IIIIIIIIIIII panicked and told the truth like about how I was so frustrated at the challenge and how she was making it obvious that her/jenn/mj are a group like?????? doesn't take nancy drew to figure that one out huh! but whatever. I told her I wasn't coming after MJ, and then she went and told MJ I WAS, and he told Lydia and she told me so I called him and was like.... I'm not.... Even though I totally am. But now Lydia is convinced that MJ shouldn't be the one to go and ??? SO whatever. If I need to work with him to save my ass, that's fine. If I can't BEAT Kait/MJ, I need to be in with them, even if they don't fully trust me,

Logan also told Lydia that I was being messy so that's fun??? I think it's funny how I deliberately disagreed with Jenn's plan during the rankings challenge just to see if I could get them to budge, but then Logan defended her and now they don't trust me as much. 

So I need to call Gage and Logan the next few days and get them to understand that I'm on their side! That'll be fun!!!!!!!!!!

Right now, I need to focus less on having control, and more on survival. I've been good about keeping an awareness of things (Jake/Steffen using their powers, etc.) but I need to get to a point where I can use the info I have.

As of right now, I do really appreciate Lydia in this game, and I don't trust anybody else so that's cool.

Alright. I've had the night. I went to bed relatively early so I didn't end up getting frustrated or spilling too much info in an act of desperation. But I'm clearly in a tenuous spot on Hudson. So here's my to-do list:

1. Leave the past in the past. Don't hold grudges for being blindsided. That's how you get voted out as a threat to flip. 2. Restore relationships. I don't think any of the people involved acted maliciously or with the intent to screw me. Because of that, I think there's some potential to work on those friendships. The bridges haven't been burned, they're just fraying a bit. Nothing a bit of preventative maintenance can't fit. And I'm hoping it really is just the surface level stuff I see, and not cracks in the fundamentals that lead to collapsing structural integrity. 3. This one is the most important: win individual immunity. When you're the sole outlier vote that's still on the tribe, a blatantly obvious target is painted on your back. But if I can force myself to be safe this round, one of those who voted Wes will have to go out of necessity.

On the Thotse tribe, things went mostly as planned. No idol came out, Jessy went by a 4-1 vote, and everything seemed hunky-dory (though I should rebuild my relationship with Jessy, too, limited as it was.) 

But then, after the comp was revealed, Wes just... lost his drive, I guess? He said he didn't have the time or patience for all these endurance comps and we should just vote him out. I'm conflicted by this, to say the least. On the one hand, he's been such a good effortless ally and a friend. He's been looking out for me and vice versa. Losing him would put me on a tribe with Jack and Lydia and, while I love both eternally to death, I'm worried there may be some enduring Denali allegiance. 

On the other hand, it would make the vote a lot easier. As much as I didn't want to vote Wes, I don't especially want to vote either of the other two. We've formed tight bonds, bonds that I really didn't fully expect to galvanize so quickly. And while I knew I wanted to work with Lydia from the jump, the reality of our tribe made it so hard. But now, there's a chance for something enduring to be built with herself, Jack and me on the ashes of Thotse.

Agh. This game is getting away from me fast. I'm lucky to have such good allies in this game, even if many are currently on other tribes or in their death throes. But for posterity's sake, let's make a list. In no specific order...

MOST TRUST: Jack, Lydia, Wes, Jenn, Kait, Logan NEAR 'MOST TRUST' BUT NOT QUITE THERE: MJ, Matt MORE TRUST THAN DISTRUST: Steven (hashed things out this morning,) Abbey. Jakey? NEUTRAL: Jimmy, Owen, Steffen (he did what he had to do to stay alive, but I'm going to have to be really cautious with him.) MORE DISTRUST THAN TRUST: Carson, Ruthie, Jessy (self-imposed, but still. Until I get the chance to clear the air, and she may even still end up here.) NEW CONFESSIONAL, WHO DIS? Gage (which is not to say total distrust, but like... our paths haven't crossed. Is he even in this game? I should at least say hi in case.), Ricardo (I actually DID forget he was in the game and only added his name after this next paragraph was already written. Oops.)

Anyway, if there's one thing I'm proud of, it's the fact that we were responsible for breaking the streak of double-booting the players who are eligible in both tribals. Wes got brutally murdered in one game, which I really wish I'd have seen and stopped. Somehow. I don't know how I could have. He seemed to have Ruthie on lock and it never even occurred to me that he wasn't especially communicative with Steven, as the latter just told me. 

I don't know that I have a lot I can do right now until people start logging in and talking back. I won't have the time or the guaranteed uninterrupted time I'll need for this kind of comp until after 4, so even practicing may be a challenge.

Sigh. Steven said it best in regards to all tribes going to TC this round – at least everyone is in the same boat. Just a pity we haven't been able control our own destiny, which we WERE doing.

I'm overdue for some good news. Please, Survivor Gods, old Gods, new Gods, Gods of every denomination, Oprah and Chester the Cheetos mascot... if you're listening, please give me a win here. I need a win so badly.

yall gonna watch this one?

im my score of 1 wowie

i have to choose between mj or ruthie, and? this is such a hard choice and either way fucks me over. itll probs be 3-1 ruthie, but it would be 2-2 for mj, and i'd probably be auto-elimed, which is NOT what i want. 

and, as for game a, jakey cant vote, so honestly i wanna go with abbey and gage and vote out jack bc he voted out jessy.

hopefully both tribals are easy, and i manage to stay, but, knowng the people on my tribes? thats not happening

Also I will clarify with Ryan when he's back but I am like 80% sure for those of you with 4 people on your tribe - in the event of a tie, you will do a challenge tiebreaker, not rocks

NVM RUTHIE WILL GO TO TIEBREAKER IF SO I MIGHT BE FINE WITH THAT DSJKSDJKSDJK

OK BUT IDK I LOVE MJ? BUT I ALSO LOVE RUTHIE? BUT I KNOW I CANT BEAT EITHER?

somehow i randomly got myself into rlly good positions on both tribes, i jut gotta hope im not exposed for being a ratty mctatty

so today was 100% certified garbage wow. i had a personal issue and i couldnt do the challenge so that was annoying. shoutout to the hosts for not striking me yall the real MVPs. ANYWAY so jakey won immunity so any plans to take him out are shot. BUT jack and I are solid?? i think?? and i think?? i got carson on board to vote out gage?? So hopefully on one tribe I got locked down. Denali is another story. my dumb ass tried to vote matt out so idk where he stands with me but he said he was willing to work with me so im gonna do whatever he wants and hope for the best ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

I can't believe there was a point in this game where I didn't want to work with MJ. He is probably the most genuine kind hearted person I have ever met and he really does care about me. Yes, we've been lucky about not having to be on a tribe together so our relationship is secret but it's so nice to have someone I can just talk to. He could be playing me, yes. But so far he has proven to me that he is a trustful ally and I do have to rely on him in some aspects of this game because his connections are glorious.

I won immunity whew :') I didn't expect to do well at all but this is such a pivotal moment that I feel like I really needed it. It's not so much pivotal in the way that it'll set a new course for the game, but it's pivotal in that with this immunity, I can hopefully lay low and let things fold out before the final 14 in each game.

Also... I'm screaming @ Jake. I thought I was good at balls, but he's the real ball enthusiast huh sfkjhdfskjfs 

Anyways... I'm super mad about the adventure. It DOES NOT. MAKE SENSE. That climbing up a volcano....would take you the same exact place....as walking along the path down a volcano??? That's fuckin RIGGED, huh? And now I know someone has that other idol, and honestly, it's probably someone with the clue. I think I'll confront Kait about it, because I know SHE had the clue... And I know from MJ that it was the same one about the colors. So there's a good chance MJ or Kait have the idol.

I talked with MJ and brought up Matt's name. I also mentioned Lydia like... trying ti make it seem like Lydia and I weren't close, which I thought is what Lydia and I agreed to do buuuut apparently MJ thought it was sketchy OOPS. Messy Owen strikes agian. But I'm pretty sure we're just gonna settle on Matt, which is fine.

On my other tribe, idk. Jenn/LOgan/myself will prob keep voting together, and I don't want to lose Gage. I talked to him tonight and I think he's someone I could hopefully gain a lot of trust from... Which means that I need to target Steven, in a way that doesn't make it obvious that I want to work with Gage. Fun times. I think I can do it, but we'll see.

As for the other tribes, I think there's nothing I can really do??? It seems Ruthie is losing both lives, Jessy is losing a life, and Abbey is losing at least one.... Lydia and I talked a lot and I really encouraged her to try to organize something to save Wes and get Jack out, but she says Wes and Pat won't go for it, and that Jack would have to volunteer to lose a life, which I don't see happening. So probably Wes will go...

As for the tribe with Carson/Abbey/Jack/Jake/Gage, Jake said ABbey is going, and I can see that, which wouold suck... Abbey is closeish with Lydia and is a good number for us (as is Wes) and I do NOT want to lose them both. I want like.... Carson/Abbey/Gage to vote Jack out, but idk if I'll have that kind of pull over Gage an Abbey to organize them like that??? And I have no clue where Jack stands.

Sooooo I guess we'll see. At least for now, I'm sitting pretty until whatever hell y'all demons throw at us next

I love Jenn Tramkellan

WHEN A BALE IS WHEACHED. 

Like Boston Rob's game being straight outta the godfather, my game is straight outta the care bears because I don't want anyone to leave!

jack fukt me and now im 95% sure im going home. i wanted to be loyal to him and pat and it fucked me over I should have said yes to carson when he wanted to vote jack. oh well i had fun, if i go ill be ok 

HOW'S MY FAVORITE HOST CHAT DOING

Anyways

here's what I have going on w/ jake right now (i sent this to him): "I want you to send this to me so I can copy + paste it to kait: "i did the rocky side of the volcano and I fell off when I tried jumping down to another path" or something like that make it sound more like... it was coming from........you! I'm gonna send that to kait and tell her that's an ~obvious lie bc Lydia went that way and she went further blah blah blah so that would make it seem like you were hiding s/t THEN I think you should go to jenn and tell her you had to do a flash game and then got to the part where you throw in a marble and tell her you threw in a different marble (not green, yellow for example) and it gave you a power and then you make that shit up!

embellish!" The plan is to make Jenn & Kait feel like Jake has a power that he can give to Jessy by telling them contradicting stories where Jake lies to me but would be telling Jenn the truth (both would be LIES!!!!), so they'll scramble and save Jessy. So there's that. Matt SHOULD be leaving Game A. I'm gonna make sure things are solid in Game B so R*thie gets blindsided hard as fuck. Called with Lydia and she called this "saving Wes" thing my plan... like.... WHEW OK GURL! As if you weren't thinking about this already!!!! Don't stroke my ego! I can do that myself. So Jack should be getting "blindsided" on Thotse and he should be OK in Game A hopefully This should all work out Quite well! ALSO even if the SAVE JESSY thing doesnt work out, i think ive gained a lot of favor with Jake this round by helping them out here so he should feel slightly closer to me moving forward and he should be PISSED @ the malaysia trio!! 

Tag yourself, I'm everyone disappearing and not responding to your messages cuz they're too afraid to make a move to remove the status quo. B O R I N G 

Literally fuck this game everyones fake as fuck

everyones playing so hard and i was so happy bc this game was so much less cliquey than i thought, but NOPE! everyones still like that and being rats, and what turned into a simple vote changed bc ruthie wants to vote me now? like, fake!

i really thought i was in a good position but now i feel like im playing too slow compared to everyone else, and i have little chance of winning and that just takes the fire out of me,  like. i just want to do something but i cant with these small as fuck tribes and these gross as fuck people.

like, jessy wants me to tell mj she has an idol so he'll tell kait. like, why? and ofc since im a dumb bitch i agree and probs fuck up my relationship with mj.

i bet everyone just sees me as a number when im trying to make actual friends and that pisses me off bc i just want to have fun but they arent letting me because i have to follow them, and im forced to vote out the ppl i like

What is even happening right now?  Because I have NO earthly idea!  Yesterday I was feeling SO bad for Steffen that I kind of came up with the idea (with a little bit of coaxing on his part) to willingly let he and Steven vote me out.  FUCK.  AM I CRAZY? WHY DID I HAVE TO COME UP WITH THAT? Now I'm paranoid that I'll end up going  on my other tribe because  MJ and Carson  seem close.  Kait says I'm fine but just.... I have this feeling.  I really think I'm so screwed tonight no matter what happens. 

Like, I just don't know what to do.  If I vote Carson with Kait and MJ I lose Carson as an ally and he is my biggest ally.  If I vote out MJ I would then lose both MJ and Kait and that.... would suck.  A lot.  Because they are good people to keep close to me in this game.  

As for my other tribe I really think I'm the one that is going to be the goner because I haven't heard from ANY of them all day today.  The smart move would be to vote out Steffen because he has one life, but he is Steffen and I really don't want to lose him, it's just an all around sucky situation and I have no idea what's happening on that tribe at the moment which probably means I'm a goner for real!  

Well, time to start chatting everyone up again to see if I can get several clues to what's going to happen tonight.  FINGERS CROSSED I STILL HAVE A LIFE OR TWO AFTER THESE TRIBALS. 

ahhh this game is so messy

Votes are due in an hour and fifteen minutes and I STILL don't know what I'm doing, rip.