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writemydaydreams · 4 years ago

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Work In Progress Wednesday

So! I’m releasing the first chapter of a new fic tomorrow so how about a preview? The first 4 and a half of 6 (or possibly 7) chapters are written so I’ll do a chapter a week. I’ll put the preview below the cut.

Rating: M

Chapters: 6 or 7

Title: In This Lifetime or the Next

Pairing: InuKag

Summary: The dreams have started. Inuyasha knows what it means, knows what comes next. His soulmate is alive and she’s ready to be found; but this time, he is not ready to find her. Because he is cursed. Because every time he finds her, she dies. Because she’s never lived more than a year after the first dream.

It shouldn’t be possible to get a demon this drunk.

“What do you mean you’re not going to look for her?” Koga asked, leaning over the bar and eyeing the woman serving drinks, again. His speech wasn’t slurred but he had no volume control and he was swaying dangerously on the flimsy barstool.

“Will you keep your eyes in your fucking skull for five minutes?” Inuyasha asked, snapping his fingers in Koga’s face to draw his attention. “Aren’t you seeing someone?”

Koga scowled and turned back to his friend, swatting at the offending hand. “She kicked me to the curb. Said I wasn’t spending enough time with her or some shit. Whatever, you didn’t answer my question.”

The bartender came over to check on them and gave Koga the stink-eye when he tried to wiggle his eyebrows at her. When she walked away, Inuyasha said, “No wonder you dragged me out tonight. And seriously, the bartender isn’t interested. She can probably spot an asshole a mile away and you’re a giant flashing sign that just screams ‘asshole.’”

Koga scowled. “Fuck off and answer my question. You’ve done this, what, like five times now?”

He sighed, trying not to think about the specifics and failing. “Seven and I can’t fucking do it again. I’d rather be alone than-”

“Oh, cry me a fuckin’ river,” Koga growled and downed the rest of his drink in a single gulp. He slammed his glass back on the bar, drawing a few angry looks from other bar goers and the bartender. “What if this time is different?” He swayed dangerously on his stool and Inuyasha tensed, waiting to see if he’d have to play catch.

“You’re really fucking drunk,” Inuyasha pointed out. “Which is amazing for a full demon. And what if it isn’t? Why the fuck would it be any different this time around?” He put a hand up for the bartender to settle their tab. The wolf had had enough.

“You think...fuck. I should call her,” Koga mused, his mind jumping topics at a speed only achievable when shit-faced.

Inuyasha rolled his eyes, knowing where this was going and asking anyway. “Call who?”

“My woman.” Koga started to tilt and Inuyasha shot a hand out to steady him. He should have just let the asshole fall. Luckily, the bartender was already there, taking Inuyasha’s credit card.

“Fucking hell, wolf shit. You’re not drunk calling your god damn ex.” One hand on his drunk friend’s shoulder, Inuyasha fished two 20s out of his wallet to throw to the bartender. She earned it dealing with Koga the last few hours. She took it with a grateful smile, handing his card back.

“Good luck with him,” she said, pointing at Koga without taking her eyes off Inuyasha. “Be safe and enjoy the rest of your night.” She shot one more look at him before sauntering off to wait on other customers. He was used to the looks his silver hair and gold eyes earned him. Even among demons he was exotic, an attractive novelty with fluffy fucking ears.

“Let’s get out of here.” Inuyasha stood and dragged Koga out of the bar.

When they were safely outside, he pulled out his phone to call for a ride. Carrying an inebriated demon halfway across the city was not high on his list of things he wanted to do on a Friday night. He debated who his best option would be. Miroku was spending the night with his girlfriend, probably being gross, so that was a no-go. Jinenji would be up but the guy was way too nice to put him through drunk-Koga hell and his wife would give Inuyasha an earful for dragging him out. Ginta or Hakaku would be ignoring calls, knowing how Koga got after a break-up. Shiori would do it but he didn’t want a woman for Koga to focus his attention on. Fuck.

He was gonna have to call the fox.

He popped in his custom-made earpiece (because it’s impossible to find earbuds that fit when you have dog ears) and scrolled through his contacts until he found who he was looking for. Shippo answered and it was clear he had been informed of things that Inuyasha had not. “Yo. Lemme guess: Koga’s break-up hammered and you need a ride?”

“How am I the last to hear about him getting dumped?” He growled and scowled at Koga. It was definitely a conspiracy.

“Someone had to deal with it and you seemed like the best option.” He could practically hear the fucker smirking. Yep, they’d set him up.

“Just get your ass down here.” He gave Shippo the address, keeping one eye and ear focused on Koga. At least Shippo was close by.

Turning his full attention back to Koga, he noticed the phone in his hand a little too late.

"Listen, I’m not even mad about that anymore. How about I come over there now and we can make up. I learned this new trick with my tongue and-" Koga didn't get to finish his sentence because Inuyasha snatched his phone away.

"First, gross. Second, what'd I fucking tell you? No drunk calls to your fucking ex." He glared at Koga, contemplating murder and the best place to dump a body, until a quiet voice distracted him. The ex was still on the phone.

"Hey, anyone still there?"

Shit.

“Hey,” Inuyasha said, holding the phone so they could hear each other more clearly. It was awkward at best with his ears on top of his head but his half-dog-demon hearing made up for it. “Sorry about the asshat, I wasn’t paying enough attention.”

“Oh, it’s alright. I was kinda expecting it anyway,” she said and sighed. “I shouldn’t have answered my phone in the first place so it’s partially my fault.”

Inuyasha growled, fighting the urge to punch Koga in the throat. The woman’s voice was soft and sweet, gently caressing his sensitive ears. The thought of Koga getting anywhere near someone who sounded so...so pure made Inuyasha’s blood boil. “Keh, not your fault he’s an asshole.” Said asshole was making grabbing motions for his phone but Inuyasha swept a leg out casually, Koga’s ass meeting the ground hard enough that Inuyasha heard his teeth clack together. “Don’t worry, I’m not giving him his phone back until he’s sobered up a bit.”

“How much has he had to drink? It takes a lot to get a demon that drunk,” she commented.

“Too much, clearly. I can’t promise he won’t try to call you again when I’m done babysitting his ass. Want me to delete your number from his phone?”

“Hmm, it’s tempting but no.” She sniffled and he wondered briefly if she’d been crying. Just because she was the one doing the dumping didn’t mean she couldn’t be upset about it. “Is he...well, really upset? It wasn’t a...a nice breakup. I kind of...um...well, I accidentally shocked him with my reiki when he wouldn’t leave and I uh, I feel kinda bad.”

Inuyasha couldn’t stop the bark of laughter that escaped his throat. “You what? I mean, I’m sure he deserved it.” Koga grumbled from the ground beside him but Inuyasha ignored him.

“Don’t laugh,” she said but he could hear the amusement in her voice and the poorly stifled giggle. “I never trained beyond keeping it in so sometimes it just...escapes.”

He shook his head and chuckled but reigned in his mirth quickly. “You, uh...are you alright?” he asked, genuinely concerned for the woman even though he’d never met her.

“Oh, yeah.” She sighed and sniffled again. “I mean, I’m as good as I can be after something like that. Thank you though, for asking. Um...what was your name?”

“Oh, uh Inuyasha.” Should he have been on the phone this long with his friend’s ex? Absolutely not. Did he care at the moment? Also absolutely not. His brain was scrambling for a way to keep her talking so he could hear more of her melodic voice. His instincts were shouting at him to comfort and protect the woman on the other end of the phone. He needed to put a stop to that and soon.

“Well uh Inuyasha, my name’s Kagome. Thank you and, um...it was nice to meet you, kind of. Oh, I mean, it was nice to meet you but we only kind of met. Not ‘it was kind of nice to meet you’...um, shit. I’m rambling, sorry.” She giggled and he could feel his ears twitching at the sound. It was fucking adorable.

The awkwardness of it all made him chuckle. “I get it. You too, Kagome.” He liked how it felt saying her name. “And if asshat bothers you again, just let me know and I’ll deal with him for you.”

She giggled again and it just wasn’t fair what it was doing to him. “Will do. I...um, I gotta go. Bye, Inuyasha.”

“Bye, Kagome.” He was sure he was grinning like an idiot by the time he hit the end call button. Hopefully, Koga was too drunk to notice.

“Gimme my phone back, shit-breath.” Koga had managed to get himself back to his feet at some point and was making a more focused grab for his phone. His scowl was a good indicator that he’d heard a good bit of the conversion. Inuyasha didn’t miss the way his eyes narrowed when Inuyasha finally let the smile fall.

“Here, fuckface.” He tossed the phone in the air, Koga catching it with ease despite his drunkenness; he was already starting to sober up.

The blare of a car horn made them both jump. “You two assholes call for a ride?” Shippo yelled out the window. “Hope you know, I charge by the minute.”

Inuyasha pushed Koga into the car, trying and failing to not think of Kagome, thoughts of his soulmate forgotten for the time being.

#inuyasha #inuyasha fanfiction #inukag fanfic #WIP Wednesday #wip #ITLOTN #fanfic preview #inukag

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immabethehero · 4 years ago

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Schneeplestein Apparently Has a Heart

The good doctor’s birthday is here and of course I wrote a story! Just warning, this story is quite dark. Read the trigger warnings below.

TW: Suicide attempt by gunshot (not seen, just implied), suicidal thoughts and words, extreme distress, minor violence, blood mentioned.

For the short amount of time that Jackieboy Man and Marvin the Magnificent have lived with Dr. Henrik Nicholas von Schneeplestein, MD, PhD, MVP, FFS, they have learned a few important lessons, or rules:

NEVER, under any circumstances, touch the top left cupboard on the outside of the kitchen opening. That’s where Schneep’s coffee supply is, and if you touch it, even ONCE, Schneep will be out for your blood.

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you mention Schneep’s wife, Lisette Schneeplestein. Apparently, the French brunette whom Schneep has been married to for the past 7 years has fucked off (Schneep’s words) back to France with her tennis instructor, Rick, short for Ricardo (Italian, apparently) and taken their two daughters with her. (Schneep has cleaned out Lisette and the girls’ rooms, and all the belongings they have left behind, in their efforts to leave so quickly, are packed away in storage containers in the garage. Schneep has yet to mail them to Lisette’s new address.)

DO NOT wake Schneep earlier than 10 AM in the morning if it’s his one day off. Despite having an early bird’s job, Schneep is not a morning person. Another reason why Schneep is dependent on coffee.

UNLESS it is an emergency, no one but Schneep is allowed in his office. As there are so many things to keep track of, and so many papers that could easily be misplaced, it is best not to touch, or even go inside the office, lest you want to throw the doctor off his game or have the doctor throw you off a cliff.

Despite these four unspoken yet very specific rules, Marvin and Jackie have learned one more this past month: despite the doctor’s arrogant, haughty, snappy, disgusting, even FERAL demeanour, he truly is a good person.

It just took a new ego to show them that.

March 30th, 2017. Schneep’s mail has been unceremoniously thrown onto the dining room table. Schneep’s hands, long and graceful, slide through the envelopes and fliers, organizing them into piles, from taxes and business inquiries to subscriptions and sales.

Jackie lazily eats his cereal, watching Schneep sort through the mail like a madman. Geez, just how popular is this guy?! It’s almost as wild as Jack’s mail. At least there’s more interesting stuff for Jack... drawings, letters of encouragement and thanks, even the rare crocheted or sculpted gift.

Schneep freezes when he comes across a particular letter, one with a cutesy pin cupcake logo. His eyes grow solemn as he picks it up and shakily opens it. Jackie cocks his head.

“Something wrong, doctor?” he asks lightly.

Schneep looks up. “Hm? Oh!” He sighs. “It’s from a baking class Sophia and I used to take together. Lisette had insisted I learn how to cook as well, so it wouldn’t always be her making the meals, and she figured it would be good bonding for me and Sophia. Soph loved those classes. We’d learn all sorts of fascinating recipes and bring the results home. They were fun, and very sweet.”

Jackie nods seriously. He knows he should leave it there, but something’s confusing him. “It’s been quite a few months since you stopped going. Why are they sending you stuff now?”

Schneep unfolds the letter. As he reads it, his eyes widen and a smile begins curling at his lips.

Somehow, that only makes more questions. “What…?”

“It’s not the company themself, it’s Chase! He was a friend from the classes! I haven’t spoken to him in forever! He’s such a lovely person, it’d be nice to see him again!” Schneep grabs his phone and hastily types in the number at the bottom of the letter. He squeals and runs off, like a teenager who just got a text from their crush.

The letter lies on the table, open for all to read. Jackie knows better than to pry into other people’s lives, but this letter is wide open, and it’s not like Schneep needs to know, so the superhero leans over and reads.

Hey Henrik,

This is probably weird to get, but I lost your phone number and I don’t know what your address is, so I asked the dudes at the baking class if I could send a letter to you via their services.

It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other, and I thought I’d better check in and see how you’re doing, see how bachelor life is treating you. Stacy and the kids miss seeing you as well. I wanna talk to you again.

My cell is #1273-545-8903.

Hope to see you soon!

Chase Brody

Chase Brody. That sounds like an American to Jackie’s ears. He does seem like a good person, if Schneep’s reaction wasn’t enough. He must have been a friend for Schneep when the doctor went through his divorce.

The name itself sounds familiar, like a local celebrity or something. Jackie makes a mental note to look it up later. He leans back and finishes his cereal just as Schneep comes back, holding his phone out. Marvin finally emerges, his green hair resembling a rat’s nest, and no mask. Jackie takes pride in the fact that Marvin now feels comfortable enough to show his face in front of Schneep and Jackie.

“Well, change of plans, I won’t be able to come home in time for dinner with you guys,” Schneep announces. Jackie nods.

“Wait what? Why?” Marvin slurs, slumping down at the dining room table.

“I’m going to see Chase after my shift today. We agreed to meet in the park,” Schneep explains curtly, and leaves.

“Did I miss something?” Marvin asks, turning to Jackie. Jackie nods down to the letter. Marvin leans over to read, only for the letter to be snatched up by the doctor.

“Who said you could go through my stuff?!” Schneep snapped. He stormed off, letter clutched firmly in his hand. Marvin sneers at Jackie, who only shrugs and winks. The magician rolls his eyes, but he understands. A shrug and a wink means I’ll tell you later.

Schneep throws on his brown coat and grabs his bag. “Have a nice day, boys. If I don’t see you later tonight, sweet dreams and I’ll see you in the morning.” He flies out, coat flapping behind him.

“He’s gotta show me how he rocks an overcoat so well. I’m jealous of the way he holds himself. So professional,” Marvin remarks. He quickly turns to Jackie. “Spill the tea.”

“Schneep’s meeting an old friend from a baking class he used to take with his daughter,” Jackie says. “His name is Chase Brody. The name sounds so familiar to me, and I don’t know why.”

“Look it up on your phone,” Marvin suggests. Jackie does just that.

Immediately, Wikipedia comes to the egos’ rescue. Chase Brody, (born April 11th, 1988) is an American-Irish Youtuber who is best known for his Youtube channel, Bro Average. As of February 2017, his channel has over 20 million views and over 10 million subscribers.

“Oh yeah, the trickshot vlogger!” Jackie says. “I like watching his stuff, he’s a funny dude.”

Marvin nods. “He must have kids as well. He wouldn’t be taking classes if he didn’t.”

Jackie scrolls down to Personal Life. “‘Chase is married to Stacy Matthews, and they have three children as of 2017, two biological twins, and one recently adopted daughter.’” The selfie provided shows a man with fair skin and bright blue eyes standing next to a red-headed lady doing a duckface.

“Hm. Sounds like he’s living the good life,” Marvin says. “A well-paid job, a nice family, a happy life.”

Boy, is he wrong.

At 5 PM exactly, Schneep sits at the bench by the great oak tree, waiting for Chase. He wraps his blue and navy scarf tighter around his neck as a cool breeze whisks by. Despite what the weather people promised, Athlone is nowhere near warm, despite it being spring. He examines the park-goers who walk by, picking up on every accident that could occur.

Parents swinging their child up and down: a broken arm, arms could pull out of their sockets, or the child could fall on their head and get a concussion. Or worse, permanent brain injuries.

Kids climbing trees: Another chance to fall and hit their tiny heads and sustain brain damage, if not that, broken limbs and splinters.

Teenagers skateboarding: more broken bones and limbs, but at least SOME are smart enough to put pads and helmets on. Others have no chance of recovering fully from brain damage or concussions should they fall on their heads-

“Henrik!” Henrik snaps to life and looks around. A man wearing a puffy black jacket, torn jeans and a snapback with a pink skull on it runs over to him. Schneep stands up.

“Chase Brody! Wie geht es dir mein freund?” Schneep cries out in delight, holding his arms out. Chase happily throws himself into them.

“I’m doing as well as I can, at least. It’s so good to see your face,” Chase sighs. He nuzzles Henrik’s hair, taking in the sanitizer and mint smell he’s gotten used to. “I’ve missed you.”

“The feeling is mutual,” Schneep says. “Come, sit down next to me! Tell me how things have been. How are Stacy and your kids? Has Chloe adjusted to the new timezone yet?” Chloe is Chase’s recently adopted daughter from China. Schneep’s last visit with the Brody’s involved meeting her.

Chase’s smile fades and he sits down next to Schneep. “Um…”

Schneep’s stomach sinks. “That’s never good. What happened? Who died?!”

“Calm down, Henrik!” Chase exclaims. “No one died! Everyone’s fine. Chloe’s adjusted quite nicely.”

“Then why do you look so sad?!” Schneep cries.

Chase fidgets with his jacket zipper, mumbling incomprehensibly. Henrik leans closer. “Didn’t catch that.”

“StacyandIaregettingadivorce,” Chase whispers. Schneep’s stomach flips and sinks.

“What?”

“Stacy and I are getting divorced,” Chase repeats, louder now. “She said she still loves me, but not quite in a… romantic way, I guess. She wants us to just be friends.”

“Well, at least she still wants to be on friendly terms, I guess!” Schneep says. “Still, I can’t believe it… you two were such a sweet couple… so in love…”

“There’s another reason why she wants a divorce,” Chase admits. Schneep’s eyes turn wide as saucers.

“She’s seeing someone. An old friend from high school. I’ve seen her texts,” Chase says. He scrunches up the end of his shirt, nose wrinkling. Schneep hears him sniff.

“I don’t know how long it’s gone on… and I know she didn’t mean to… but still…” Chase finally looks up, eyes tearing. “How could she do that? I would have been okay with it! Maybe. I don’t know!” Chase buries his face in his hands.

Schneep pats Chase’s shoulder gently. He can’t believe Stacy cheated! She and Chase were such a romantic couple! They seemed so happy! Why would Stacy throw that all away for some whore? “What a bitch…”

Chase suddenly whacks Schneep’s hand off, eyes fierce. “Don’t call her that! It’s not like that! At least she still wants me in her life! She’s not like Lisette!” An awkward silence fills the air.

Chase gasps. “Henrik, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it that way-”

“Oh!” Schneep cries. “It’s fine! It’s no big deal!” Yeah, that was a low blow, but he would rather Chase doesn’t end up like him: cranky, alienating, friendless, alone. He needs a friend more than ever.

“No it’s not, I just sunk really low! You must be furious-”

“I’m not, I promise!” He’s not, surprisingly. Is this growth?! What the fuck?!

“I need to control myself better. I’m a grownup, for fuck’s sake, I should know better…” Chase moans, burrowing his head in his hands again.

“Chase!” Schneep exclaims. “You mustn’t beat yourself up like that! You’re one of my very best friends, which isn’t saying much because I don’t have any, but still! You have to be one of the nicest people I know! You’re anything but a dick!”

“I feel like you’re just saying that to make me feel better,” Chase mumbles, rubbing his eyes.

“I’m not, I swear !” Schneep says.

“I’m sorry, Henrik, I really am,” Chase says.

“I forgive you,” Schneep says, and means it. “I’m serious.”

“I should go,” Chase decides, standing. Schneep gets up as well.

“What? No! I’m not mad!” he protests.

“It’s my turn to pick the kids up,” Chase snaps. “I’ll see you around, Henrik. Sorry I can’t stay long.” He briskly runs off.

Schneeplestein yells and kicks the bench. “FUCK! FUCK! AAAHHH!!!”

Other park visitors turn in confusion, watching the strange man kick the bench and scream.

Schneep freezes when he notices everyone staring at him. He storms back to his car, slams the door shut and continues his screaming.

Once Schneep has finished “releasing his anger” (Jackie’s words, not his) he “reflects on the situation” (also Jackie’s words). What could he do to make Chase feel better?

He stays in the car for an hour, letting the world pass by as he thinks. By the time the sun has set, he has an idea.

Jackie and Marvin glare at each other from across the hall. Sirius the cat has hidden, choosing not to get involved. The little pegs in the cribbage board are neck-in-neck, both pegs exactly 4 steps away from the end hole. The egos stare at their cards.

“Four,” Jackie announces, putting the card down.

“Fourteen,” Marvin says.

The door flies open and Schneep rushes in, hair windswept and out of breath. “Where’s Jack?!” he demands.

“Out in his universe,” Jackie responds. “Fifteen for two!” He puts down an ace.

“Sixteen for two!” Marvin slams the ace down, looking triumphant. Jackie flips him off.

“When will he visit?!” Schneep questions.

“When he wishes,” Jackie responds. “Twenty-five!”

“How can I contact him?!”

“Why are you so interested?!” Marvin asks. “Thirty-one, bitch!” He flips Jackie off.

“I have a request for him!” Schneep responds curtly.

“What kind?” Jackie asks.

“It’s for a friend,” Schneep brushes him off, heading to his lab.

“Chase Brody?” Marvin guesses. Jackie kicks him.

Schneep turns around. “What did you say?”

Marvin gulps. “You left your letter on the table for me to read. I was fast enough to catch the gist before you snatched it up. So how is Chase Brody?”

Schneep growls softly and walks back to the table. Marvin sits up with his head held high, bracing himself for the punishment. No matter what Schneep does, slugging, kicking, ruining his hair, the magician can take it. He’s been through worse.

To Marvin and Jackie’s surprise, Schneep pulls up a chair and sits down. The doctor takes a deep breath. “Chase Brody is divorcing his wife. That’s all I’m going to say.”

Jackie and Marvin nod in understanding. “That’s sad to hear,” Jackie remarks, solemnly.

“But how’s talking to Jack going to help?” Marvin queries.

“I want him to make a video for Chase,” Schneep says. “If this so-called community exists, I want to see them show their love for Chase! It’s the least he deserves!”

Marvin and Jackie catch each other’s gaze. Schneep glares at Jackie expectantly.

“Well? You’ve lived with Jack the longest. How do you contact him?!” Schneep demands.

“I have his number in case of emergencies, but I’ve never had a reason to call him! I don’t even know if he’s available,” Jackie explains.

“He has to be. What else does a man who plays video games for a living do?!” Schneep snaps, incredulous. “It’s not like he has to be places or anything!” He looms over Jackie, a desperate, pleading look in his eyes. Jackie nearly topples out of his chair.

“I guess I could give it a shot,” the superhero mumbles.

Schneep squeals in delight and wraps his arms tightly around Jackie in what Jackie assumes to be a hug. The superhero pats the doctor’s arms, taken aback by his strength.

After a few sickeningly sweet seconds, Marvin pipes up, “Uh, doc? I think Jackie needs to be able to breathe in order to call Jack.”

Sheepishly, Schneeplestein lets Jackie go. The superhero gulps in big gasps of air, before grabbing his phone and dialing Jack’s number.

A day later, Jack McLoughlin sits at the egos’ dining room table, chomping away on mashed potatoes and a juicy steak.

“My goodness, you never told me what a good chef you were, Schneep!” he sighs in ecstasy.

Schneep bows his head, face glowing red. Jackie raises an eyebrow. Schneep almost NEVER blushes when given a compliment. It’s strange to see the doctor act so shy and humble around someone, especially Jack. It feels like only yesterday Schneep was bombarding Jack with questions about where he came from and how the alternate universe worked. Since that day, Jack has quickly risen to become one of Schneep’s favourite people on the planet. Not that Jackie is jealous or anything…

“Just a little recipe I learned for my wife…” Schneep mutters, playing with the end of his lab coat. Across the table, Marvin snickers lightly, watching the doctor fumble for words. Finally, some entertainment!

“So, what was the call for?” Jack asks. “Just wanted to say hi?” His expression darkens. “Is it Anti? What did he do?!”

“It’s not Anti. We haven’t heard from him for a while!” Jackie says. Jack sighs in relief.

“I mean, I know I made that video for PAX and all but I just wanted to make sure,” Jack says.

“You made an Anti video for PAX?!” Marvin cries. “Why?”

“Because the fans would enjoy it! Also because I was running out of ideas for what to do for an opening,” Jack admits. “It just seemed like the right amount of fun and originality without being too over the top!”

“When is Anti not over the top?” Jackie scoffs. That earns a laugh from the others.

“Actually, it’s Schneep who has a question for you,” Marvin says.

Jack turns to Schneeplestein. Schneep’s smile disappears. He looks around the table, watching everyone’s gaze. He grins nervously at Jack.

“Could I ask you in private? This stuff… it is… personal.”

“Sure. Let’s go,” Jack says, standing up. Schneep follows after him.

In the upstairs hallway, Schneep spills everything. He explains who Chase is, what’s going on in his life, and how he believes making Chase an ego could help his situation.

“Make another ego? Oh god, I’m having enough trouble managing you all right now,” Jack admits.

“All you have to do is make one video. The fans can do the rest,” Schneep presses.

“How?”

“By showing their love for Chase! He’s a funny and sweet guy! Your fans would love him!”

“How will the community’s love help a man struggling with a divorce?” Jack questions.

“Their love will lift his spirits and he will feel more confident and happy! You said you noticed a difference in us after the community made content of us! If that is really true, then I want to see them show their love for Chase. It’s the least he deserves!”

Jack is silent, contemplating the pros and cons. Finally, he sighs and says, “Can you show me what he usually does?”

Schneep types something into his phone. He logs onto Youtube and types a channel name into the search bar. Bro Average.

“Bro Average? Is that a parody of Dude Perfect?” Jack asks, chuckling.

“Well, it’s because there’s only one person performing every stunt, and because it’s less... professional than the other channel,” Schneep explains. “For example-”

The video shows Chase at a park, holding a Nerf gun and wearing a goofy grin. “Sup, guys! I’m Chase, and welcome to Bro Average!” He shoots a nerf dart off-screen, only for it to crash into something, invoking a cat screech. Chase pretends to be startled.

It flashes forward to Chase in a tree. “This one’s called, ‘Multitasking’!” He hangs off a branch while trying to knock over six cups stacked up on each other with darts. Jack can’t stop snickering at Chase’s antics, as he wobbles and threatens to lose his balance. Chase yelps and squeals, and a few times, swearing can be heard, though it’s censored by loud beeps. Finally, Chase hits his target, just as the branch snaps. Chase whoops with glee as he crashes onto the ground, the branch smacking into his head. His cameraman runs over to him, worried, but Chase is rolling on the ground in laughter as tears run down his face.

“He is not nearly as good as the professionals, but his humour and authenticness bring in the fans,” Schneep says, smiling.

“He sounds like a blast!” Jack takes the phone and begins to skim through Chase’s videos. “I bet I could make something work! I’ll borrow an office space, bring a couple friends and film a few shots! Can’t be that hard!”

“So you will do it?!” Schneep cries.

“Absolutely! Give me a couple days and it will be ready!”

Schneep cheers and engulfs Jack in a bear hug. Jack laughs and pats his friend’s back. It’s nice to see the doctor open up at last to his new roommates and creator, and so quickly, as well. Jack decides Schneep can be rewarded for his good nature by granting his wish and helping out a new friend.

A few weeks pass. Schneeplestein schedules more visits with Chase. The two fathers laugh and chat, learning more about each other and discussing whatever they please without the worry of kids hearing. Schneep feels his spirits lift whenever he sees Chase’s snapback and hears his cheerful voice.

In the night, a familiar sensation returns to the egos’ dreams. Sounds of a Nerf gun, kids laughing and on the rare occasion, a man crying fills the egos’ heads as they sleep. Schneep feels his heart break when he hears Chase’s cries. He hopes this video will help Chase. It has to.

April 11th, 2017. The egos are gathered around the dining room table, Jack’s Youtube account open on his laptop.

Jack idly sits at the centre, waiting for Schneep to arrive with Chase. Marvin and Jackie play another round of cribbage, and this time Jackie seems to be way ahead on the board, much to the magician’s dismay.

“I’m going to be skunked! I hate this game so fucking much!” Marvin gripes, as he receives two points for his math efforts.

Jackie snickers as he counts his cards. “This takes both luck and skill. You’re a fast learner, Marv. I’m sure you’ll pull through soon.”

“Not soon enough,” grumbles Marvin as Jackie moves his peg 16 points.

The door opens and Schneep walks in with Chase Brody right behind him. Compared to the laughing man with the warm aura in Google Images, this Chase looks cold and kind of grumpy.

“Chase, this is Jack McLoughlin, our ‘creator’ and a wonderful man,” Schneep introduces. Jack awkwardly holds his hand out for a shake. Even though he’s seen versions of himself several times this past year, it’s still rather unnerving to be given death stares by himself but with yellow hair, snapback and a fair share of freckles.

“Jack, this is Chase Brody, your newest ego and the face of Bro Average!” Schneep continues. Chase raises an eyebrow.

“Ego? Like alter ego?” Chase turns to the others, and realizes that they share the same hair and face. “Oh... my... dog. Am I a fictional character?! Is this a character intervention with the narrator?! Whatever happened, I promise, I didn’t do it! Sally encouraged me to eat the worm!” Chase kneels before Jack, cowering and whimpering.

Jack chuckles nervously. “Relax, Chase! Technically, you are a fictional character-” Chase shrieks in alarm.

“But only in another universe. You’re very much a real person in this one,” Schneep concludes, helping Chase up by the arm. Chase shakes the doctor off and Schneep tries his best to hide his hurt.

“To put it simply, some of the videos on my channel don’t exist in this universe. This is because they’re about you… egos,” Jack recites. “You’re the most recent ego, however, your video and beginnings are a bit different because I already had some course material to go off of.”

Jack clicks play on the video. Chase sits down and gasps as Jack-as-Chase flies around the office, performing trickshots and screaming like a toddler who drank too much apple juice. Is… is this him?! The accuracy! Holy shit! They even got his bloopers right! Creepy!!! Is he being stalked?!

Schneep watches from afar, fidgeting with his lab coat. Chase hasn’t moved once since the video started. He doesn’t look angry… but at the same time, he doesn’t seem to be enjoying his Power Hour. Truth be told, it’s not like the Doctor particularly likes his Power Hour either. Jack didn’t have to go and mention his cheating wife… or the fact that Peter did die at one point… Nonetheless, Chase is just sitting there, with wide eyes.

Jack, on the other hand, is already regretting what he did. Perhaps he emphasized too much on the “Not-As-Professional-Or-Successful” part. Maybe he made Chase too goofy or not as three-dimensional as he could have. The Youtuber catches a glimpse of the screen. Oh no. It’s the part with-

“Stacy, please, I know, I’m trying to get all the shots, look, just please don’t take the kids!” Jack-as-Chase pleads. Schneep and Jack-in-the-flesh turn white as a ghost. Chase frowns.

“This one’s called, ‘I’m Staying At My Sister’s This Weekend’!” Jack-as-Chase announces. It flashes back to him on the phone. “Well, I don’t care what your sister says! Just please! At least let me see them on the weekend still!”

Jack scratched his neck nervously and teethed on his knuckles, face beet red. Chase looks horrified. Schneep looks just as worried. Marvin and Jackie awkwardly stand up to leave.

Chase pauses the video just as Jack-as-Chase sobs. He takes a deep breath and turns to face his “creator”. “So… are you the reason my wife and I are getting a divorce?”

Jack gapes, taken aback by Chase’s accusation. He doesn’t want to throw Schneep under the bus, but at the same time, Chase wasn’t exactly “created” like the others-

“Not exactly!” Schneep interferes. “It… it was my idea. I thought if I got Jack to make a tribute video in honour of you, it would help you!”

“Help me?!” Chase laughs, a harsh and cold sound compared to his whoops and chuckles in his videos. “How?! By running my wife’s name through the dirt?!” Jack flinches.

“Fair enough,” Schneep says with a groan. “I should have been more specific when I said divorce and kids.”

“You told-?!”

“I thought if you knew you had a big name on your side you’d feel better! It was supposed to be a little treat!” Schneep counters.

“Oh, what am I, a little pity party to you?” Chase snaps. “My divorce was private information, Schneep. Why else did you think I wanted to talk to you alone?! Now the whole world knows and Stacy’s going to be treated horribly because of you shits-”

“Not the whole world!” Schneep exclaims. “Just… all… of Jack’s world.”

“Shut up,” Chase hisses. “I don’t care that there’s more than one universe. So be it. What I care about is the fact that you betrayed my trust and now people are going to treat Stacy like she was a freaking bitch. This may come as a surprise to both you and Jack, but not all women are cheating whores like Lisette, asshole!”

SMACK. Chase cries out. The egos and Jack huddle together. Schneep’s breathing slows as he registers the sting in his hand and Chase rubbing his red cheek.

Schneep takes a deep breath, and in chilling, low, icy words, he snarls, “Don’t ever say her name again.”

Chase recovers from the slap and storms over to the door. “Whatever. You know what?! Stay away from me and whatever’s left of my family. I don’t care if I’m a part of your ‘creator’s’ story or whatever, I JUST WANT YOU OUT OF MY LIFE.” Chase grabs his coat and slams the door shut with a loud BANG. Schneep remains at the dining room, breathing unsteadily, vision somewhat blurry.

“Doctor? Are you alright?” Jackie whispers, reaching a hand out.

“DON’T TOUCH ME!” Schneep runs upstairs to his room and slams the door. Muffled sobs soon echo down the hallway.

Jack’s heart breaks in two. He really thought this video was a good idea. Somehow, all it brought was pain. He sighs defeatedly and slumps down at the table. Marvin closes the laptop.

“Shit… that was awful…”

“And it was supposed to be Chase’s birthday present!” Jack moans. “Ahhhhh, I feel like an asshole… I shouldn’t have been so mean…”

“It’s not your fault…” Jackie soothes. “You made an assumption and played it with satire. Schneep shares some of the blame as well. He should have kept that part quiet.”

“And I should have kept that out of the video…” Jack sighs. “Now Chase feels even worse about the divorce and he wants nothing to do with us…”

Jackie and Marvin sit down beside Jack and rub his back. Jack sighs again and rests his head on the table.

Upstairs, Schneep screams into his pillow, tears finally flowing. He hates himself and Chase and everything that’s happened. That’s what he gets for helping a friend. Ungrateful bastard-

No. Schneep should have known better! That was private information, he had no right poking his nose in and telling everyone. Well, it was just one person, but still! Now Chase never wants to speak to him again and he’s lost the only friend he’s had in a while and everything sucks and he just wants to curl up and die. Schneep pulls his hair and screams again. He can’t sleep, but at the same time, he can’t do anything else. So he remains in bed, crying and thinking. Eventually, long into the night, he falls asleep, cheeks wet and eyes sore.

Schneep wakes up feeling like absolute shit. His cheeks are somewhat sticky and damp. He must have been crying in his sleep. His stomach feels awful. But it’s a work day, so he gets out of bed.

Schneep stumbles into his ensuite bathroom and splashes cold water on his face. He shudders when he sees his reflection. Grey skin, messy hair, red eyes. He doesn’t smell so good either. Sighing sadly, Schneep throws off his clothes and turns on the shower faucet.

When he hops out of the shower, he puts on his scrubs and grabs his spare labcoat. He trudges downstairs, where Marvin is waiting with fluffy chocolate-chip pancakes on the table.

“Morning, doc,” Marvin greets cheerfully. His smile fades when he sees Schneep’s ashen face. “Everything alright?”

“I’m fine,” Schneep replies hoarsely.

“I made you some coffee,” Marvin continues. “I know you like it.”

Schneep grunts softly and pours himself a large cup. As he drinks he heads to the hook of keys by the front door, only to find-

“Where are my keys?” Schneep asks, staring at the space where his car keys used to hang.

“I saw Sirius knock them off earlier,” Marvin replies, flipping through the nearest magazine. “I tried to catch her, but she’s so fast.”

“Where is she right now?” Schneep inquires, trying to sound as calm as possible.

“Beats me. I can’t control her,” Marvin says calmly.

Schneep growls and pounds on the table. Marvin jumps slightly, but quickly recovers and goes back to his reading.

“This isn’t funny, Marvin. I need to get to work!” Schneep snaps. “I’m already falling behind schedule.”

Marvin snorts, looking up from the magazine. “You think you’re fit to go to work? Your face is bright pink, you’ve got large shadows under your eyes and I heard you crying for who knows how many hours last night.”

“I have allergies! They were just acting up!” Schneep snaps.

“Oh, really? Allergies? That’s rich coming from the man who claims to have ‘the strongest immune system in the world’!” Marvin scoffs.

“Even the strongest immune systems have off days, okay?!”

“That doesn’t even make any sense! Henrik, are you even hearing yourself?!”

Schneep fights back more tears. “Marvin, please, tell me where the keys are! I can’t be late for work!”

“And you won’t be! I called the hospital and asked them to give you a day off!” Marvin says.

Schneep almost drops his mug. “You… you did what?!”

“I told them it was a family emergency,” Marvin admits. “And that we didn’t know how long it would be. They understood, told me to tell you to take as many days off as you need.”

“Which is none,” Schneep scowls. “I’m fine.”

“No you’re not.”

“Yes, I am!”

“Henrik, you said you didn’t want Chase to go through his divorce alone and friendless, like you. You’re going through a tough time right now. The last thing you need is to be alone.”

Schneep gapes at the magician, tears threatening to fall. Marvin stares back, heart thumping loudly. He prays he didn’t say the wrong thing. He hopes this works.

Maybe it’s because he didn't get enough sleep, or maybe it’s because he’s never had anyone be so concerned for his well-being that they screwed up his schedule, but Henrik finally lets his anguish go, and collapses, bawling like a little baby. Marvin gets down from his seat and wraps his arms around the doctor, soothing him and singing softly.

Jackie finally emerges from the bathroom, and joins the cuddle pile in the kitchen. As Henrik finally slumps completely into Marvin’s arms, he and the superhero high-five and move the sleeping doctor into the living room for a day of Netflix and cuddles.

Five days pass. Henrik sits at his desk, tapping his pen. In front of him is the start of a letter, with only the words “Dear Chase,” written on it. He needs to apologize to Chase, but just doing it by text seems insensitive. So written letter it is! Now… where to start…

Dear Chase,

I’m sorry. What I did was wrong and there’s no way to excuse my behaviour. I really believed I was doing the right thing by telling Jack, but I should have known better than to air dirty laundry.

The doctor shakes his head and crumples up the page. He can do better than that. Now to start over-

His phone begins playing the familiar sound of a monitor beeping. He really needs to change his ringtone. It’s too painful to hear after all the dead patients that came with it.

Henrik freezes when he notices the name. Chase. Why is he calling? Heart thumping and hands shaking, Henrik picks up the phone.

“Hello? Chase?”

“H-hi, d-doc…” Chase answers in a raspy whisper. The sound of sniffling is not lost on Henrik.

“Chase? Are you okay?”

“Not really…” Another sniffle. “But I will be… soon.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m sorry for all the shit I said… It was wrong of me to bring up your own divorce… I-I shouldn’t have been so harsh…”

“No, Chase, I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have brought up your divorce in the first place! I thought I was doing good by telling Jack, but he clearly misinterpreted it. I shouldn’t have mentioned it…”

“It’s alright… you were just trying to make me feel bet-better… I just overreacted… I overreact to eve-everything… I’m such a bay-baby.” Chase sounds like he’s holding back tears.

“No you’re not. You had every right to be mad… I’m sorry for slapping you. How’s your cheek?”

Schneep hears Chase chuckle softly. “It’s fine… It doesn’t hurt as much as other injuries…” The laugh turns into a sob.

“Other injuries?! What do you mean?!” Henrik demands. “Chase, you’re worrying me!”

“I’m sorry… I can’t seem to do anything right… All I do is upset people…” Chase is outright crying now.

“Chase, please tell me where you are,” Henrik pleads, getting up. “I need to make sure you’re okay!”

“No… I don’t think you’ll want to see this…” Chase mumbles. He takes a deep but shuddery breath. “I have to go. Goodbye, Henrik.”

“Chase?! CHASE?!” Henrik screams. The phone line goes dead. Henrik yelps and quickly rushes into his contacts. He finds Stacy’s name and calls her.

She answers on the first ring. “Henrik? It’s been so long! How are you?”

“Where is Chase right now?”

“What?”

“Where is he living?”

“What’s going on? What did he say to you? Is he okay?”

“Call 999. I don’t believe so.”

Henrik hangs up and dashes out of his office, up the stairs and to the front door, where he grabs his keys and coat. Marvin and Jackie sit at the kitchen island, both on their phones.

“Henrik? What’s going on?”

“I have to go to the hospital. I’ll be back,” Henrik answers curtly. He throws on his coat and leaves.

Henrik runs into the hospital and quickly signs himself in. A nurse comes by and squeaks in surprise when she sees him.

“Dr. Schneeplestein? What are you doing here? Isn’t today your day off?”

“Time is broken, Cass,” Dr. Schneeplestein replies. He dashes off to the emergency room. Cass quickens her pace, trying her best to catch up to him.

“Have there been any emergencies yet?” Schneep demands.

“I think an ambulance is arriving soon-” Cass begins.

“Who’s the patient?” Schneep asks.

“A man attempted suicide-” Cass starts.

“I’ll treat him,” Schneep announces.

The doors open and medics rush in, driving a man on a gurney. Schneep pales when he sees red. The good doctor swallows his fear and tears. Now is not the time to be a baby. He’s not called the good doctor for nothing. Time to save Chase’s life.

Hours later, five nurses come in to find Dr. Schneeplestein exhaustedly sobbing against the wall, shoulders convulsing as he cries into his hands. On the gurney lies a man with yellow hair poking out of a large bandage wrapped around his head. The monitor beeps rhythmically, and the man’s chest rises and falls slowly. So why is the doctor crying?

Three nurses wheel Chase out while the other two bend down next to Schneep. One nurse, Kate, tentatively places a hand on his shoulder. He jumps in shock.

“Schneeplestein? Are you alright?” Kate asks.

Schneep smiles shakily. “He’ll live…” He shivers and whimpers. “Oh god… so much could have happened… So much could have gone wrong… I thought I lost him a few times...” the doctor breaks off with another sob.

“Why don’t you head home? Today is your day off,” Kate suggests.

“In a little while… I need to speak to the patient first…” Schneep replies in a raspy voice. Kate nods. She and the other nurse, Matt, help the doctor up. His legs wobble and almost give out. Schneep takes a deep breath and slowly makes his way out of the operating room and into his office.

An hour later, Henrik reappears, wearing his comfy labcoat and drinking some tea, a rarity considering how much the doctor prefers coffee. But he needs to relax, and so Matt whipped up a nice cup of tea.

Henrik pulls up a chair and sets his cup down. He looks down at the sleeping man, face as white as the bandage wrapped around his head. Chase has never looked more fragile and vulnerable. His cheeks are sunken and there are large bags under his eyes.

Henrik rubs his face. Truthfully, he’s just as tired. He looks up at the clock. 1:11 am. God, he was in the operating room for quite a while. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be as stressed as he was today. He leans back and closes his eyes. Maybe he can get a quick nap before-

“Dr. Schneeplestein?” He opens his eyes and looks up. His stomach flips when he notices a woman with red hair that falls in waves down her shoulders. Her soft brown eyes are full of compassion and worry. Stacy Brody. Or Stacy Matthews, to be more precise.

“Stacy…” Henrik mumbles. “What… I mean, I’m sorry. I understand this must be a lot for you.”

“I can’t believe it… I mean, I knew about his depression, I just didn’t think it would get this bad,” Stacy says, voice soft and sad.

Henrik nods. “Yes. One can’t help but wonder what the breaking point was.”

“It’s because of me, isn’t it?” Stacy whispers hoarsely, staring down at her ex-husband’s skinny frame. “I did cheat on him. I told him I wanted a divorce after he found out… I wonder what would have happened if I told him straight up about Delilah… I wonder how he would have reacted…”

Henrik is speechless. He can’t really say it isn’t her fault, but at the same time, it wasn’t as if she could straight up tell him. There really was no way of telling how he would have reacted. Henrik groans and rubs his eyes again. He can’t think straight.

His mind flickers back to the video, and his stomach sinks. Did that video… influence his decision? Should he tell her about it? Would she be mad? He takes a deep breath.

“I mentioned your divorce to another friend,” he finally says. “Said friend made a video that I think mocked Chase more than flattered him. I thought it would help… but it didn’t. Only made him even more upset.”

“A video? Was this the video that ‘Jack’ made?” Stacy asks. Henrik opens his eyes, horrified. How long has she known?! Oh god, she must despise him! Henrik whirls around to face her, face riddled with guilt.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t think he’d take it in that direction- It was a shitty idea, I was so invasive and it was absolutely despicable of me and-”

“Hey, calm down, it’s okay! It was an honest mistake!” Stacy responds calmly. “Chase told me about it. He felt awful and he was so pissed with you guys. I will admit I was a bit peeved at first, but Chase said he yelled at you and broke off his friendship with you, so I figured it was punishment enough.”

“He also brought up my wife,” Henrik says. “So I punched him.”

Stacy nods. “Ah, that’s where the bruise came from.”

Henrik cringes. Damn, did he actually hit Chase that hard? He really is a dick. He sighs and stands up. “You are more than welcome to punch me. I deserve it. I never should have brought up the divorce. It was hateful of me, really.”

Stacy shakes her head. “Oh no, I couldn’t! You saved Chase from the brink of death. It’d be so insensitive of me!”

“I insist.” Henrik holds his head up. Stacy reluctantly stands up, and raises an open palm.

“I’m sorry,” she squeaks.

“It’s fine, I can handle it,” Henrik says.

Stacy takes a deep breath… and punches him. Henrik falls back into the chair from the force. Stacy cringes.

“You… have a very strong punch,” Henrik remarks, holding his throbbing cheek. He holds a finger up when he sees her mouth move. “Don’t apologize. You were right to do so.”

“I took karate as a kid,” Stacy boasts. “I won a black belt at age five.”

“Good for you! To be honest, it wasn’t nearly as hard as my wife’s,” Henrik admits.

“Well, at least I got my ‘revenge’- wait, what?!” Stacy does a double take. “Lisette used to punch you?!”

“She only did it once,” Henrik quickly adds. “After I called her a whore.”

“Oh. That explains a lot,” Stacy deadpans.

“I deserved that as well,” Henrik says. “I just wish she hadn’t moved so far away… I wonder how the girls are doing...”

“Have your children contacted you?” Stacy lightly presses.

“I’ve tried to contact them,” Henrik says. “I don’t think Lisette lets them write or call me.”

“Then Lisette really is an ass,” Stacy explodes. “What if they do want to talk to you? She can’t hide them from you just because she doesn’t like you.”

“That doesn’t seem to stop her. I keep my phone nearby in case Sophia calls when her mother isn’t around.” Henrik pats his pocket. “Or maybe Rick will let her. He’s quite nice and he’s good with kids, which is why I was quite surprised when he turned out to be-”

“A homewrecker?” Stacy suggests. Henrik glares at her, scandalized, but she can tell he’s trying to suppress a smile.

“Sorry,” she mumbles, snickering.

“I was gonna say an ass, but that’s better,” he says. Stacy bursts out laughing, but it quickly fades when she notices Chase. She clears her throat.

“I’m going to take the kids away for a while,” she reveals. “At least until he’s emotionally stable to look after the kids.”

“You know Chase would never let his depression get in the way of being a good father,” Henrik protests.

“I know. I just feel he needs a break from it all,” Stacy says. “Mostly family life, me and Delilah in particular. Maybe she and I could go to my cottage in Scotland. We can stay there until he feels ready to share custody once more. He can’t be alone, though. We know what will happen if he does. He can’t go back home either. We still need to wash out the blood and dispose of any guns he might have. Of course I mean the real guns, but he might not want his Nerf toys either. He needs to be with someone , and that can’t be me. I just don’t know anyone he could stay with who lives in Athlone. We only just moved here.”

Henrik lights up. Holy shit. It’s like destiny! This is the perfect opportunity! “He can move in with us. He’s already an ego. He’d love it there. Sure it’s a bit chaotic, but I think he’d love it!”

Stacy raises an eyebrow. “What sort of chaotic?” she questions.

“The local superhero likes to crash there, we have a magician who INSISTS on using us for test subjects for his latest tricks, and me, the ‘feral doctor’,” Henrik lists off. “Come to think of it, I’m actually the voice of reason.”

Stacy tries her best to hide a shudder. “I feel a little worried about his safety. And no offense, but it’s a bit concerning that you’re the voice of reason in that house.”

Henrik scoffs in mock insult and shoves her gently. “Oh screw you! To be honest, Jackie is actually the smart one. I’m the one who pays the taxes and keeps a roof over their head. They’re the ones who overstayed their visit.”

Stacy rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling. She looks more relaxed than when she walked in. She stands up.

“I think it’s time I left. Good luck, Chase. I wish you all the best with your recovery.” Stacy leans over and gently kisses Chase’s cheek before turning to Henrik and holding her hand out. Henrik returns it and gives it a small squeeze, only to be pulled in for a hug. He gasps in surprise.

“Thank you Henrik,” she whispers. Henrik nods and returns the hug, holding her tightly until she signals to let go. Stacy picks up her bag and leaves.

Henrik sits back down and takes out his cellphone to call the egos. Jackie picks up after the first ring.

“Henrik? Are you okay?”

“I want you to clean the house and make some hot chocolate. We’ve got a new roommate coming to stay with us!” Henrik announces.

“Is it Chase? Is that who we’re taking in?” Jackie asks.

“Yes. I want everything to be perfect, so go! Get cleaning!” the doctor commands.

“Need us to pick you up?” Marvin suggests.

“I can drive just fine! See you soon!” Henrik hangs up just as Chase begins to stir. The doctor watches him apprehensively. He hasn’t seen Chase since the argument. How will he react?

Chase groggily opens his eyes. He can see a bright light shining down on him and closes his eyes. “Where… where am I?”

He slowly attempts to sit up. A soft pair of hands gently help him sit up and rub his back.

Chase blinks, trying to clear his vision. The blurry blue shape slowly comes into view… Henrik! The good doctor sits beside him with an anxious expression on his face.

Chase wracks his memory to try to remember what had happened. He can feel a heavy fabric wrapped around his head. He lifts a hand to better investigate… oh.

Henrik’s heart breaks when he sees Chase drop his hand, expression forlorn. Here we go, he thinks.

“Chase?” Chase looks up. “Before you say anything, know that you have every right to be mad at me and Jack. What we did was despicable and absolutely awful. You don’t have to forgive us, and I completely understand if you never do. But you can’t be alone right now. You’re going through a really tough time, and the last thing you need to be is alone. I don’t know if you’ll accept it, but we have an extra room at home that would be a perfect spot for you to stay while you recover. I know you might not want to talk to me, but Jackie and Marvin are living with me, and they will ensure your time there will be as comfortable as possible. It’s fine if you don’t want to go, but just know that we will always be there when you need a place to stay.”

Chase is silent, simply gazing at Henrik with unshed tears. Finally, he throws his arms around Henrik’s neck. Henrik startles, but returns the hug.

“Is that a yes?” Henrik mumbles. Chase nods. Henrik sighs in relief and squeezes Chase tighter. Now all he has to do is hope Jackie and Marvin have the house ready by the time he returns.

Henrik parks the car in the driveway and turns to Chase. The vlogger fidgets with his t-shirt. Henrik puts a hand on his shoulder.

“Just warning you now, while Jackie and Marvin have good hearts and intentions, they can be little shits and there’s a good chance the house will still be a mess when we get back in. Good luck.”

Chase whimpers in fear. Henrik nods solemnly. “My thoughts exactly.”

The fathers unload the car and walk up to the front steps. Henrik takes a deep breath and opens the door.

“FIFTEEN FUCKING POINTS! I WIN AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER!” Jackie screeches. Marvin roars in anger and tosses a pillow at Jackie, who backhands it. The pillow soars across the house and slams into Henrik, who grunts in alarm and falls backward. Chase shrieks in alarm, gaping at his fallen friend.

Marvin and Jackie turn around, bright blue eyes glaring into Chase. Marvin’s eye twitches sporadically and Jackie smiles like a madman. Chase nervously waves. Marvin clears his throat and forces a sleep-deprived smile.

“Howdy, Chase!”

#attempted suicide tw #suicidal ideation tw #blood mention tw #extreme distress tw #apparently i can write #jacksepticeye #dr. schneeplestein #chase brody #jackieboy man #marvin the magnificent #writersofjack #writers of jack

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splitpush · 5 years ago

Text

[ENG] 銀の匙 | Silver Spoon 131 (final chapter)

I’ve loved Gin no Saji for many years. I wanted to provide a roughly-translated manuscript for any other English-speaking fans that are still waiting for the finale to this beautiful manga by Arakawa-sensei. I supplemented my translation using the Chinese scanlation provided here by lumosmoon and typeset by 王少. Page numbers correspond to numbers on the side of the pages in the raw scans.

If anyone is interested in typesetting this translation to the manga, please link this post and credit me under the name “hachiko”, thanks! Enjoy & please excuse any errors.

[page 1~3]

Hachiken: The big blue sky. The gold-coloured lands. A blurry horizon. A smart phone with no signal...

Subtitle: A coming-of-age story built from tears, sweat, and dirt has finally come full-circle in a 32-page finale!!! In this endless field washed in gold... For a boy who was once unable to visualize what would come in the future, who disliked having a dream... His future is beginning to sprout at last.

Hachiken: Where... am I...?

[page 4]

Narrator: The answer is... Russia. [big arrow] Specifically, here. [small arrow points to Ezono]

Subtitle: Even though Hachiken has finally grown up a little... he still gets lost!! A bad sense of direction that transcends international borders.

Hachiken: “If you follow ‘this path’ we’ll see each other...” is what he told me. But are you kidding? This is RUSSIA!!! (text on the road: “THIS PATH”) Brings me back to the memory of that day in the summer of first year, when I had to walk along the path between Mikage Ranch and Komaba Ranch… Even if it’s one road and I won’t get lost, it probably won’t be without incident… Aren’t there bears here in Russia? Tigers? (Also it’s Russia!)

[page 5]

Subtitle: The last chapter of this coming-of-age story opens in the far east of Russia! Accompanied by the low rumbling of thundering machinery, what approaches Hachiken…!?

A familiar person’s back: So you really came, Hachiken!

[page 6]

Hachiken: Komabaaaaaa !!!

Komaba: Hey. You got lost, didn’t you?

Hachiken: Even if I don’t get lost I’d still encounter some kind of trouble!!!

Recap: After graduating from Ooezo Agricultural High School, Hachiken & co. went their separate ways. Now, four years later, his friends have gathered at Aki’s place while she is studying at Chikudai. But Hachiken, also at Chikudai, is nowhere to be found…

[page 7]

Komaba: If… you could see the mountains, you would know how to get your bearings...

Hachiken: Ah-- In our 360-degree visible radius there is not a single hill or ocean, and all I see are fields. I’ve never seen anything like it in Hokkaido.

Komaba: Hachiken, why did you come dressed so formally?

Hachiken: You were the one that told me there was an interesting business proposal!! Please take my business card!

Komaba: In recent years, Amur Oblast has started to do agriculture-related business with the banks in Hokkaido.

Hachiken: Japan-Russia relations?

Komaba: Yup. A joint venture between the Japanese banks and Amur Oblast. How do I say this, I don’t know if Russians are full of heart or simply rough-handed, but the motto they have here is basically: “sow as you please, and reap as you please”.

Hachiken: Oh…

[page 8]

Komaba: Due to the effects of global warming, the eternally frozen fields are now arable. And so a Russian dude casually told me to “do as you please” with this huge piece of land.

Russian dude: So you want to use the land? Sure, provided that you can speak the language, have the work ethic, and drink the vodka with me!

Hachiken: Hoho….

Komaba: So I started using the methods we used commonly in Japan to grow soy on the land. In our first year, the crop yield suddenly increased by 50%.

Hachiken: Just how “do as you please” were these Russians before this!!!

Komaba: We are leading the way carefully. With all the knowledge that we’ve accumulated, we can of course lead carefully.

[page 9]

(Russian) Kid: ICHIRO -- !! Kid: Done work yet? Komaba: Yup. Kid: Then let’s play some baseball! Kid: Teach me how to toss a forkball! Komaba: Tossing a fork requires muscle! Muscle!

Hachiken: I don’t know what they are talking about, but I can tell it’s about muscles…

[page 10]

Komaba (Russian): Your hands are still too small, so let’s try it first with your thumb and forefinger. Don’t push yourself, or you’ll hurt your wrist.

Hachiken: Komaba can speak Russian!

Komaba: It’s thanks to Alexandra-san. If you wanna work here, being able to speak Russian is a huge help.

Hachiken: It would’ve been nice to learn some Russian. I was shocked that nobody spoke English here.

Komaba: And the language of sports is universal!

Exclamations in Russian: Yeah!! Alright!!

[page 11]

Hachiken: How popular is baseball in Russia?

Komaba: It’s not at all. If I was born here, I coulda gone to Koushien. Just tell the kids a couple stories about forkballs and the Carps, and they’re immediately hooked. I said I would teach them how to play and the parents cleared the land into a baseball field.

Hachiken: It’s a Field of Dreams. Like an oversized Ezono.

Komaba: Speaking of Ezono, Sakuragi-sensei went to a lot of trouble to help me secure my place here in Russia.

Hachiken: Same here, it’s all thanks to Sakuragi-sensei that I was able to find network connections for pig-raising.

Hachiken: Komaba, do you have your own ranch here yet?

Komaba: That’s the plan right now. But there’s still a lot here yet to be developed. Setting up a grain loading operation near Vladivostok, establishing shipping routes with Hokkaido, I think these projects are all pretty cool.

[page 12]

Komaba: We can provide Hokkaido with cheaper animal feed, and Hokkaido can provide us with resources and agricultural equipment. A land filled with so much potential, only 1500km away from my hometown. Something this interesting, who wouldn’t wanna try their hand at developing it?

Hachiken: You’re not scared of failure?

Komaba: Nothing will move forward if you don’t even try.

[page 13]

Komaba: Our ancestors were the same when they pioneered Hokkaido. Thinking about it that way gives me courage. (Foul ball!) That being said, the people here won’t sell their land to a foreigner. If I want to have my own ranch here, first I’ll have to take a Russian bride.

Hachiken: Really! Komaba is marrying a Russian girl!

Komaba: What about you? (Kids: Strike out!)

Hachiken: Wat

Komaba: Aren’t you thinking about marrying Aki?

Hachiken: Eh...!! We’re still students...!! And I gotta think about Aki’s feelings too, what kind of nonsense are you spouting!! Even though things have been going well!!

Komaba: Shuddup…

[page 14]

Hachiken: ….“Hachiken Aki” and “Mikage Yuugo”, Which do you think sounds better?

Komaba: “Mikage Yuugo” definitely has a better rhythm to it.

Hachiken: Yeah, I thought so too.

Komaba: Hey, you guys are happy together, that’s all that matters.

Hachiken: Regardless, my pasture-raised pig business hasn’t even taken off yet, so marriage is out of the question right now.

Komaba: As expected, you wanna do everything too properly.

Hachiken: I need to get my accreditation from the university for food hygiene management, then I’ll be able to build my own private processing plant, Hmm, how many years is that going to take… …

[page 15]

Komaba: Just work on getting your pig-raising business up and running successfully for now.

Hachiken: Eh?

(Russian) Kid: Ichiro’s friend, come play with us too! Kid: Isn’t it boring to just watch?

Hachiken: Huh? What’s this, what this? What, me?

Komaba: Go hit a few. They think everyone from Japan is good at baseball.

Hachiken: As if. But I should be able to hit some balls if I’m playing with kids… I can’t make a proper stance wearing these shoes anyway, I’ll just take it ea~sy...

[page 16]

Hachiken: YOU! Hey, what are you playing at!!! As if I’ll be able to hit any of your pitches!!!

Komaba: This is my revenge for the past!

(kids cheering: Ichiro!! Ichiro!!)

Hachiken: You’re totally motioning for a fly-ball, please just let me lose!!

[page 17]

Hachiken: … I wanna go back to Japan… Man at the net: Ball.

Komaba: You’re not going anywhere!

Hachiken: Why did we come all the way to Russia just to play baseball? Man at the net: Ball.

Komaba: I know right. To think that a certain somebody had no~idea what they wanted to do in the future when they were a first-year in high school. Why do you raise pigs?

Hachiken: How should I know!! Why are you asking this!! Also, wasn’t it you that called me over to Russia because you needed me!!

Komaba: Ah, right, right.

(Russian) Kid: It’s a homerun!! Kid: So cool!!

[page 18]

Komaba: Hachiken. Come raise your pigs in Russia.

Hachiken: Hah?

Komaba: Nice-- that’s a strike! I’ve been following Ookawa-san’s social media. Your pigs, the annual yield has been increasing quite steadily.

[page 19]

Komaba: To be able to produce that yield in a cold climate pasture, it’s a testament to how hard you’ve worked. Here in Russia, Despite the demand for meat, there are very few guys out here raising livestock. If you wanna get in on it, now’s the time.

Hachiken: … …You trying to pull a scam here?

Komaba: Does it really sound like that? To tell you the truth, if you want to raise livestock, this place is literally El Dorado.

Hachiken: If it’s that good, get the local people here to do it!

[page 20]

Hachiken: Hyah!! Man at the net: Strike!

Komaba: Didn’t I say just now, that I wanted to create a connection between Russia and Hokkaido. You’ll stay over there in Otaru, and I’ll be here in Vladivostok.

Hachiken: So you’re not a scammer! You’re the mafia!

Komaba: Refuse and I’ll break you.

Hachiken: You have no right to be teaching baseball to these poor Russian kids!!!

Komaba: I am Ichiro of the Far East.

Hachiken: Ichiro wouldn’t do something like this!!

Komaba: I’m kidding about breaking you, but I’m serious about the rest.

Hachiken: Do you have proof that this is even profitable!?

[page 21]

Komaba: Nope.

Hachiken: Oi!!!

Komaba: Although I don’t, I think it’ll be interesting to team-up with Hachiken. Let’s do it together.

Hachiken: Eh!?

[page 22]

Hachiken: Why did the ball just now drop like that!?

Komaba: Yes, that’s three strikes!! My victory!!

Hachiken: Ah~~~ I’m conflicted~~~~~

Komaba: Well, I guess that’s true. You’ve got your own life to live.

Hachiken: I’m really~ So conflicted~~~ … You know, I, made a promise long ago to never be the guy that would deny someone of their dream.

[page 23]

Komaba: Ah ha ha! That’s you, all right.

Hachiken: Also, raising pigs on such a wide area of land could be interesting… !!

Komaba: Then it’s decided.

Hachiken: Don’t just say that!

Komaba: Japan’s large-scale industry and greenhouse vegetable industry players are already making moves here.

Hachiken: Ah-- and there’s already talk going around about “growing vegetables with pig manure”, so we’ll have a finger in that pie too…. …No, wait, wait!

(Russian) Kid: What are they chatting about? Kid: Hurry up and tell us too--

Hachiken: Eh? What? Ah! You want me to get out of the batter box? Sorry, sorry!

[page 24]

Komaba: ?

Kid (Russian): Okay!

Hachiken: Whew-- gesturing successful! Oi, Komaba!!

[page 25]

Hachiken: Let’s go again, we’ll decide it with the next ball!!

Komaba: … Hah?

Hachiken: If I hit it, everything before doesn’t count! Komaba, if you win this one, As GINSAJI’s representative, I’ll consider this opportunity more closely!!

Komaba: Are you supposing that, I’ll go easy on you?

[page 26]

Komaba: … …Of course. How will ya know if ya don’t try.

Hachiken: All right Komaba, gimme your best shot!!

Komaba: Since you’re getting serious now, I’ll have to get serious too!!

[page 27]

Hachiken: Are you kidding me! Can’t you go easy on me just a little!!

Komaba: Shut up!! Next up, forkball!! You’ve been warned!!

Hachiken: Please just throw in a straight line!! Kyaaaaaa--

[page 28]

Student: Sensei-- Actually, I was thinking about starting my own business.

Sakuragi: Eh! What type of work?

Student: I love to cook and eat tomato-based recipes, so I want to use the tomatoes that we’ve been growing at home to start a restaurant! … But, people around me say that starting a business right out of high school is pretty impossible, I should probably wait until I mature a bit more…

Sakuragi: Oh! This tomato is delicious!

Student: Right? The harvest from this year came out just as I imagined it!

Sakuragi: Hm. Starting a business after high school. You may face some difficulties indeed. I understand why the people around you are worried.

[page 29~30]

Sakuragi: And it’s difficult for me to advise you on this as well… -- Is what I would have said a few years back! Among the students that I’ve taught over the years, there once was a guy who was a runaway from the regular high school examination track; he had come to Ezono with zero goals. The minute he set foot on campus, he suffered one hardship after another. He joined the equestrian club after he was invited by a female classmate. Didn’t even have the guts to drop out. He’d never made pizza once, but endeavored to do it in stride. He christened a pig and cared for it with so much love, that when he cooked and ate its meat he bawled his eyes out. During his part-time job, he wasted a ton of milk and bawled his eyes out again. Snuck out of his dorm in the middle of the night and got slapped with toilet duty. Found a dog in the middle of the school and started to take care of it. Couldn’t refuse anybody’s request and overworked himself so hard, He ended up getting sick on the day of the school festival and couldn’t participate. Borrowed money from his friends and bumbled his way onto a ship bound for Russia.

Other teachers: He didn’t board the ship. He didn’t board it.

[page 31]

Sakuragi: He is the record-holder for the lowest score ever recorded at the Interhigh Equestrian tournament. He suddenly decided in December of his 3rd year that he would attempt the university entrance exam. Started dating the girl that he liked but never got her father’s approval.

Students: Wow, just hearing about this guy makes me anxious… Didn’t even get the father’s approval…

(T/N: sorry, I don’t remember their names edits plz) Teacher: Oh, and don’t forget the boarding house explosion incident. Teacher: Right, right!

Students: What a scary guy.

Student: … and this person graduated without any issues?

Sakuragi: He did indeed. Apart from all of the above, he also started his own business while he was a student.

[page 32]

Sakuragi: And he’s the reason why all of you get to have such a leisurely pizza party like this, every year. If you’re interested in hearing more,

Let me tell you the story of the many different seeds that this man has sown.

#gin no saji #silver spoon #manga translation #hachiken yuugo #komaba ichiro #銀の匙 #t #spoilers #silver spoon 131

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playeroneplayertwo · 6 years ago

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The Ten: 5.19

It seems a good icebreaker, or as good an icebreaker as any, to lay bare my top 10 of all time. Clear the air, so to speak. Get to know each other. It’s fair to say that this may be a make or break moment for us. Hopefully, I won’t lose you. Let’s see.

This is a list I imagine I’ll update periodically (which is why it’s dated), as my wife Kathleen (Player Two) and I play a lot of games, and a lot of new games. I’m a notoriously curious and searching type, and I love trying new games, sometimes to my wife’s chagrin. More often than not, my spare change goes to new games for the house. New games that make a splash tend to spike pretty high and then slowly fade. It’s not a great trait to have, especially in someone who tries to speak or write critically about quality (ie write reviews). But being that I’m aware of this, I hope that tempers it at least somewhat.

Anyway, where’s the list, you say? Here we go:

1. Brass: Birmingham (2018)

Oh boy, it’s a new one. Cult of the new? To be fair, Kathleen and I have played this game fairly regularly for the last eight months. By our third play or so, I knew it had locked itself into my top spot. I’d done a fair bit of research on the OG Brass (now Brass: Lancashire) prior to purchasing Brass: Birmingham, and by the time I eventually took the dive and purchased Birmingham, I was as excited to try it as I was unsure we’d actually enjoy it. At the time, it was the heaviest game we’d played, and it also relies heavily on route building–it’s in fact one of the most important parts of the game. I mention this because tactical spacial elements are not Kathleen’s forte. In fact, it’s one of her least favorite mechanics.

This is a good time to tell you that Kathleen and I think (and play games) very differently. Kathleen is a strategic player, relying on long term planning and execution to maximize scoring/performance. I, on the other hand, do not make long term plans. I find it not only remarkably difficult, but also unenjoyable. I’m a short term/tactical player. On my turn, I’m more likely to look over the board, get a lay of the land, and make the best, most advantageous play available to me at that moment.

Brass: Birmingham remarkably manages to cater to both of our play styles, which is one reason it ranks so high. Birmingham presents a myriad options for players to pursue. You’ve got a whole pile of different factory tiles you can build, a whole mess of locations or regions to move into, and about as many different strategies to pursue on your way to the end game. I don’t think I’ve ever played the same game of Brass: Birmingham twice, nor have I ever pursued the same options. The card play means, for me, that I will go where the cards lead, and I find using these cards as a guide to build my engine incredibly satisfying.

2. Covert (2016)

Dice placement. For some reason, this mechanic sounds incredibly unappealing to me, and I think it’s because it’s literally a portmanteau mechanic consisting of the worker placement mechanic using dice, two individual mechanisms that I seem to enjoy less and less. Dice I tend to avoid for their randomness (yes, I know that’s the point), and Worker Placement, in it’s most stereotypical application, I find frustrating. Why can’t I just put my worker wherever I want and just run my engine? Being stymied in a worker placement game just annoys the hell out of me.

So why do I love Covert?

It’s a pretty straightforward points race built around mission cards that have specific requirements. And using the dice as workers seems a fairly typical euro mechanism, but what I like about Covert is how puzzly it is. When you place your dice workers, they’ll be placed on round tracks with spaces numbered 1-6, and you won’t be able to place a die unless it’s adjacent to another die. In this case, you can do anything you want, but only if you plan correctly and work well with the other players. It becomes an order of operations puzzle, which may frustrate some, but I love it.

Also, I can’t get enough of that spy theme. And the production is fantastic.

3. Eldritch Horror (2013)

Ah, Cthulhu. For being the spawn of such a troubled person (HP Lovecraft), I find Cthulhu’s mythos and surrounding universe positively enthralling.

But dice! Ugh yes, this is a huge, sprawling, long, and [sorta] bloated game that is built all around a very simple dice rolling resolution system. I have no way of justifying why this doesn’t bug me, but it just doesn’t.

Maybe I’m just a sap for the theme (Indiana Jones + Cthulhu = Win). Or maybe it’s nostalgia, considering this is the game on my top ten that I’ve played the most and had the longest. But, if I try to dig into the real reasoning here, it’s probably because this game manages to give you a big, rich, story-based experience that feels like an event when it’s over. Yes, it’s the biggest, longest play session on this list. But I love every minute of it. Even those maddening bad dice rolls.

4. Lord of the Rings: The Card Game (2011)

A long time ago, Kathleen and I came to this hobby via Magic: The Gathering, the deep, long standing king of the collectible card game. Magic is a great game, but it brings out the worst in me as a gamer. Playing Magic makes me both a bad winner and bad loser. Frankly, that’s a terrible combination. Why would you want to play with me at all?

This obvious problem led us to cooperative board games. If I’m gonna lose, why don’t I just lose with you. That’s a refreshing change of pace!

And speaking of losing, hey let’s talk about Lord of the Rings: The Card Game. The word used most frequently when talking about this game–by me and pretty much anybody who’s ever played it–is PUNISHING. And yes, it’s punishing. Kathleen and I have played a few punishing euros at this point (feed those people), but this is something else. Get a few bad card flips from the encounter deck and you’re suddenly up to your eyeballs in LOTR baddies. Orcs and goblins? Oh hai. But your dwarves or hobbits or whatever are never really out of it. Smart deck building (and luck) definitely has carried us out of the tall grass on more than one occasion. And there’s something to be said for a game as well balanced as Lord of the Rings. More than once, a game has concluded on a turn where we either win or lose based on that single turn’s outcome.

The theme doesn’t really do much for me, but I took the dive on this game because it looked like a well-designed and well-supported cooperative card game (of which there really aren’t too many). It’s stood tall over the years, and I hope it continues for a while. When I first played Arkham Horror: The Card Game, I figured it would knock this down a peg or two. But the designers’ ingenuity in the LOTR quests and encounter deck designs has been (for me, at least) a much more rewarding experience.

And I appreciate a cooperative game where you actually lose more often than you win. It seems a rarity in the co-ops we have.

5. Great Western Trail (2016)

I’d heard and read so much about this game prior to purchasing it that I almost didn’t even want to get it (which is exactly how I feel about Concordia and Trajan, subsequently). I dig the cowboy theme, but beyond that, I’d pretty much phased out all the actual details on this game’s gameplay.

But yeah, it really is good. Ya’ll were right. I love games that are heavy but are built around simple gameplay, and Great Western Trail epitomizes that. One your turn you move your cowboy on the (effectively) huge rondel board and then take an action on the space where you stop. That’s it.

The beauty of the game comes from the remarkable breadth of options you can pursue. Using cowboys to buy cows, hiring engineers to move your train and build stations, hiring carpenters to build buildings and busy up the board, and completing objectives are some of the main tasks you’ll be focusing on, and what really clicks for me with Great Western Trail is that it’s a tactical player’s dream. The board is constantly changing, and as it changes, so must your plans. The objective cards steer you somewhat, but you’ve really gotta cut your own path across the wilderness here.

Oh, and I love deckbuilding as a sort of side dish mechanic. It isn’t always enough to sustain a whole game, but it’s great as a single piece of a pie.

6. Gloomhaven (2017)

All right, so this big beast has moved all over my ranking in the year+ since my first game. I won’t lie, it sat at #1 for a while. Then it slid a little, then a little more. I mean, it’s still at #6, so it’s not exactly plummeting. It’s the Board Game Geek #1 game of all time (as of this writing), and it’s hard to say if it’s deserving of this (and if not, what deserves the spot instead). Again, this is so subjective, and games like this or Scythe tend to be lightning rods for people who want to take a shot at the new hotness.

But yes, it’s good. It’s very good. I’m not as enamored by the sprawling nature of it as I was, nor the campaign, but being a person who loves variety, it’s scope is certainly a nice bonus. But after you haven’t played it in a while, it becomes a HUGE box that takes up a whole shelf and is a bear to set back up. And even though the box is 20lbs and takes up a whole shelf and the game takes 20+ minutes just to set up, the card play in Gloomhaven is just stellar. I love that this is essentially a tactical minis game with a euro engine. Tactical minis games rank incredibly low on my chart o’ interest, but this game takes that standard tactical minis expectation and smashes the shit out of it.

Despite its niggling flaws, it’s an excellent game.

7. The Exit Series (2017-?)

This is the last co-op game on my list, and I just looked back and saw that there are four on here. I was just talking to Kathleen about how much I’d rather play competitive games instead of co-ops, and apparently I said that in a moment completely lacking self-awareness. Also, this is a cheaty kind of entry considering we’ve played at least eight Exit games.

Remember when I said that I liked Eldritch Horror because it was an event game that provided a big, rich experience? Well, the Exit games give you a meaty, brainier experience in a slightly shorter time period. There’s not much story–despite the designers really trying to cram one in there–but I’ll always love Exit because it’s become our Date Night game. Kathleen and I will get some nice booze, take out food, and sit down with a new Exit after we put our son to bed. The experience can be frustrating–remember we think very differently, but each experience has always been something to remember (except the Secret Lab; what happened in that one?). Special props to Exit: Dead Man on the Orient Express, in particular.

The puzzles are really satisfying when you crack them, especially after working on them for a while. We take longer than average to do these because we resist those hint cards as much as possible, so our games can stretch. But Exit should be an event, and when savored like one, it doesn’t let you down.

Also, if you have concerns about the value of an Exit game, if you look at it as an event (like going to the movies or *cough cough* playing T.I.M.E. Stories), it’s actually a very good value. Recycle it!

And finally, yes, Exit trumps Unlock any day of the week.

8. Glory to Rome (2005)

That Glory to Rome is out of print is a cryin’ shame. Our copy isn’t even a real copy, I printed a crappy DIY version at Staples and then cut and sleeved them with old Magic commons. Our copy looks bad, is cut unevenly, and has eery MTG watermarks shining through the thin weight paper, and I couldn’t care less. This game is awesome. It’s got about a million different combos that are all seemingly game-breaking, but the fact that everything is so powerful is really what makes this game so exciting.

Multi-use cards are one of my favorite mechanic, and this game is completely built around them. And like any well-designed game that is build all around cards, the design of this never leaves you feeling hamstrung by bad card draw. If you’re doing badly at Glory to Rome, it’s your fault. Sorry. You haven’t found the combo that will win the game for you. I can say this because I’m terrible at Glory to Rome, and I know it. That’s not saying I’ve not won before. I have, but more likely than not it was because I accidentally stumbled onto something good.

Like Brass: Birmingham, no two games of Glory to Rome are the same. There are so many cards in the box, and the subtle sense of humor that permeates some of the cards just tickles me (please see: latrine).

It’s fast and exciting, and giving you options on other players’ turns is also one of my favorite mechanics. I’ll happily play and lose Glory to Rome anytime.

9. Nippon (2015)

Full disclosure, this is the newest edition to this list, and Kathleen and I have only played this a few times, but there’s something about this game that really fascinates me.

At first blush, it feels like Brass, but it’s not. Like Brass, this is an economic engine, but it doesn’t allow the multi-turn build up to The Big Turn like Brass. Then I thought it was a little like Great Western Trail, but it’s not really like that either. Great Western Trail presents a ton of options, but by the end of the game, you really need to work on all of them, at least a little bit, or else your score will suffer. Nippon, however, doesn’t make you do a little bit of everything. There are a number of elements in Nippon (like trains), that can be all but ignored except for certain circumstances. It’s a game built around area control via slow burn engine building. A number of other elements to the game are very specific tools you can use to hone that engine, but could just as easily prove useless under the wrong conditions.

This may be misdirected musings by someone who hasn’t played the game enough, but it feels right to me. The last time we played, I came to the realization that the game felt so fraught because I was trying to do too much. The game presents you with a large amount of avenues to pursue because you don’t actually have to pursue them all; you can’t, there’s not enough time in the game (or money!). You need to choose your actions and build the best engine as quickly as possible.

Nippon is a cutthroat fight that feels both wickedly fast and frustratingly slow at the same time. Special bonuses for completely subverting the worker placement mechanic with its own implementation that runs the whole game. It’s a puzzle that I have relished greatly.

10. Star Wars: The Card Game (2012)

Two Fantasy Flight LCGs on the list? Sweet Christmas!

But yes, this is a great game. I’m not sure it ever got much love, and it saddens me that it’s now dead, but it’s such an interesting design. That it does a fine job of simplifying deck construction is just a bonus.

I appreciate that Star Wars feels like a game of high stakes gambling. The first few turns are slow and quiet as you work through your deck and build your forces, but once conflict erupts, everything tends to break wide open. Each decision you make has massive repercussions, as single large mistakes will lose you the game. Add in some actual bluffing and a ticking clock, and this is the simplified and streamlined (if safer and less wild) version of Doomtown: Reloaded, another card game that I absolutely love.

But where I think Doomtown ultimately fails, Star Wars succeeds. The game doesn’t get bogged down in complexity, and instead feels relatively streamlined considering its medium weight. Every time I play this game, I’m impressed by how smart Eric Lang’s design is. I feel like he played a ton of Magic: The Gathering, and then he removed all the things that bothered him (and bothered me, too).

I think this game is overlooked and underplayed, and dare I say forgotten, but for my money, it’s absolutely worth revisiting. And played over and over again.

Please remember, this list will change. Check back occasionally to see how. If you have any questions or opinions of your own, let me know in the comments!

Thanks for reading!

Eric (Player One)

#top ten #board games #board game #great western trail #gloomhaven #brass birmingham #star wars card game #nippon #glory to rome #exit #eldritch horror #lord of the rings card game #covert game #covert

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darkly-dreaming-imagines · 7 years ago

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Saving Grace (Jax Teller x Reader - Oneshot...maybe)

Saving Grace

((Ohai, so some Jax Teller X Clay’s daughter Reader stuff… I actually wrote a rough version of this almost 5 years ago while my son was actually in the NICU that I found in a notebook shortly before I wrote that HC. I guess I wrote it process some emotions I was having with my own son’s health issues and it helped in a strange little way. I expanded it a lot and it turned into not a completely horrible little one shot. Who knows I may go back and tinker with it some more one day. I have my two TWD fics going right now but who knows I am totally crazy enough to try and screw around with this whole story idea I was playing with again one day. I love finding all my old note books. There are some serious gems in there!))

Story below the cut

The hospital room was cold and had that sterile smell that had always turned your stomach. As soon as your daughter was born the nurses and doctors had rushed her away in a frenzy of commotion. Your heart sank as you realized what it meant, ‘the Teller Curse…’ you thought long before the doctor came in to tell you what was going with the little girl that you named Grace.

Gemma had been there since you returned to the room after your c-section, waiting to see her newest “grandbaby”, little did she know how true that was. “How long does it take to clean her up?” Gemma said as she shifted yet again the chair the was next to the bed.

“I don’t know,” You said softly worrying what you feared was actually true. There was a knock on the door before the doctor entered. Gemma sat straight up in her chair and reached over and took your hand knowing it was never good when the doctor came in before the baby.

“Miss Morrow,” The middle age man start as he cleared his throat. “Your daughter was born with a congenital heart defect, it’s not an uncommon occurrence but the specific type she of heart defect she had tends to be genetic, is there any history of this type of thing happening in your family... or perhaps the father’s?” Your heart raced within your chest, your worse fear had happened. Gemma squeezed your hand and look at you with a heavy questioning gaze.

“I don’t know… I can’t remember..” You stammer and look towards Gemma who lets out a heavy sigh.

“Your daughter is not doing well Miss Morrow, we could really use any information you could possibly give us about the medical history on both side of the family.” You look towards Gemma helplessly.

“Her mother died when she was very young, she was a junkie… Her father is out of town on business but is on his way back. We are working on trying to track down the father…” Gemma smiled as she stood up and took a few step towards the doctor. “Maybe my granddaughter would be improving more if her doctor was there attending to her care… it’s gonna be a little bit before we can get all the information that you need.” The doctor took the hint and left leaving you and Gemma alone with a mammoth sized elephant in the room.

Once the doctor left the older woman turned around, arms crossed in front of her chest. “(y/n)…” She starts as she walks quickly over to you and sits down on the hospital bed next to you. “this is the Teller curse… how does my husband’s granddaughter who is not a Teller end up being born with the same genetic heart defect as my grandson and both my sons.” Her voice was a shaking, she was scared for the baby, heartbroken for you, and so angry that you and Jax were once again sneaking around behind everyone’s backs.

She leaned forward and clutched your other hand so she was holding both of your hands. “I know you and Jax had feelings years ago, I don’t understand why and I probably will never. You two were raised like siblings…” She took a deep breath trying to focus herself once more what was important now, your daughter. “If Jax is this baby’s father please just tell me, tell the doctors… we worry about the rest of the world later but they need to know.”

Tears started to roll down her cheeks, “Yes..” you say softly. “Jax is her father… he ended it before I found out I was pregnant.” Your bottom lip quivered as you started to sob. “I didn’t tell…” You wailed and Gemma wrapped her arms tight around you.

“Oh baby…” She said softly, kissing the side of your head. She let you cry for sometime before finally asking you “What’s my granddaughter’s name?” trying to get you to think of something besides all the worse case scenarios running through your mind.

“Grace… Gracie…” It was your mother’s name, you could see the look on Gemma’s face grow sad for a moment.

“It’s a good name…” She says muster a little smile before she eases you back against the pillows on the bed. “I am going to go see if they will let me go take a peak at our little angel, you rest. “ You give a little nod and lay back closing your eyes exhausted from your ordeal.

Gemma stays till she knows you are asleep and then steps out into the hall to make a phone call, to her son. The phone rings a few time and then he answers. “Hey Ma,”

“Hey sweetheart,” She started, she wasn’t going to tell him about the baby over the phone, but she needed him to get to the hospital to talk with you. “(y/n) had the baby, the piece of shit who got her pregnant never showed up and she’s all sorts of shook up… she could use a visit and I gotta leave soon.”

“Yeah, let me just finish up here and I’ll come round to St. Thomas’s soon.” Gemma gave a satisfied smile before she said her goodbye to her soon and went to go check in on her newest grandchild. They wouldn’t let her in as Grace still wasn’t stable enough for any visitors even when she insisted she was the child’s grandmother.

She sat outside your room letting you rest while she waited for Jax. True to his word, less than 20 minutes after he got off the phone with his mother did he appear in the hallway walking towards his mother. “Hey mom…” He greeted his mother with a kiss on the cheek.

Gemma patted her son on the shoulder and smiled softly. “Congratulations Jackson, it’s a girl..” she said softly as she watched a puzzled expression cross his face, no surprise. She chuckled. “Go talk your daughter’s mother…” Gemma walked off towards the NICU to wait to see baby Grace.

Jax ran his hands through his hair as he quickly walked into your room. He saw you laying asleep in bed and he let out a heavy sigh. He slowly walked towards the bed and sat down next to you, He pushed a few stray strands of your hair off your cheek causing you to stir. At first when you saw Jax sitting there you thought you were still dreaming. “Jax..” You say softly.

“Hey darlin’,” he voice was soft but you could tell he was upset. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?” He asked in a hushed tone.

“I’m sorry…” You apologize and Jax just shakes his head and wraps his arms around you .

“Don’t be baby… don’t” He leaned forward and kissed you softly. It was the first time in almost a year that you felt his lips on yours. You take a deep breath as you both break the kiss. Jax’s eyes went to the floor. “How did my mom figure out she was mine?” He asked weakly wondering where the baby was.

You take a deep breath and reach out touching his shoulder. “She has the heart defect… she’s not doing well…” Your voice cracks as you speak. You watched Jax looks up at you and as soon as you saw his face. The expression of pain and heartbreak that you had seen once and only once before, when Abel was born.

“No..” He groaned softly. The tears started to roll down your cheeks as you tried to lean forward to comfort him but you winced in pain. Jax turned towards you more and placed a hand on your thigh. “Don’t push yourself…” He said softly.

“The doctors needed medical histories, your mom was here…” Jax gave a little and you let out a long breath and closed your eyes. “I am so scared Jax… I can’t lose her.”

“We are not losing our daughter…” He leans forward and places a hand on your cheek. “She’s a Teller, we are tough, stubborn and hard to kill…” He was doing his best to cheer you up despite being terrified himself. He took his hand and placed it over yours. “So does my daughter have a name?”

You nod. “Grace.” Jax smiled remembering it was your mother’s name. “Dad is gonna hate it.”

“It’s a good name, and fuck your dad…” You chuckle at his words. “I’m gonna take care of her, I promise… no matter what.” He squeezed your hand and you just nodded knowing what he said was true. You reached up and touched his face.

“I haven’t seen her yet…” You say softly, “They rushed her off so quickly.” Jax let out a heavy sigh and he leaned forward and kissed your forehead.

“I’m going to go see about seeing our girl…” He stood up and walked out to the nurses station. He didn’t explain who he was, only that you hadn’t seen your baby yet. The nurse called down to the NICU and they said the parents could come see her but she wasn’t stable enough for any other visitors. He returned with a wheelchair and a smile on his face.

“We can go see her?” You ask suddenly feeling like you had all the energy in the world. Jax smiled and nodded his head as he pushed the wheelchair over next to bed.

“Yup..” He pulled the blankets off you and looked around for your slippers. “Slippers?” He asked and you point to the black duffle bag sitting on the couch in the room. Jax quickly went over and dug through your bag till he found your slippers and he grabbed an old, well warn, black hoodie out of your bag as well. He recognized it as one his and he just laughed. “You still have this…”

“It was the hoodie you gave me when I went to collage.” You say as he helps you put it on over your hospital gown before he tosses the slippers to the floor and takes your hand helping you steady yourself as you slip on the fuzzy black slippers. You wince as you turn trying to get into the wheelchair. “She was breach, they had to do a c-section..” You note and Jax nods.

“It was probably better for her in the long run darlin’” You sit down and Jax begins pushing you down the same halls he had pushed Wendy down just two years earlier when he went to take her to see Abel for the first time. The memories flooded back as he rounded the corner and saw your daughter was in the same room Abel had been in when he spent his time in the NICU.

She was so much bigger than Abel was but so much else was the same. The little plastic box that kept her warm, the little hat they had put on head. As you peer through the window at your sweet little baby your heart sinks. There is a pain that spreads through out your chest like your cant breath. “My poor Gracie..” You ball as you put your hand to the window. Jax looks down at your with heart break in his eyes.

He never wanted to go through this pain again and you were the last person in the world that he wanted to put through that same pain. When Thomas had been born just a few weeks earlier, healthy, it brought so much joy to Jax’s heart. Now your Grace, the daughter he never knew he wanted was fighting for her life because of him. Some blame for Abel’s health issues as baby could easily placed on Wendy’s shoulders, but Grace’s… he knew they were all on him. It’s punishment. He thought as his hand gripped your shoulder as he looked helplessly down at the little girl who looked so much like her brothers there was no mistaking she was a Teller. For all this shit, the lies, the murder. He looked down at your for a moment. “You know she is gonna be fine darlin’, this was Abel’s room..” He said trying to muster a smile for you. “It has to me some kind of sign or some shit right?” He kissed the top of your head as he pushed you into the room.

The young nurse smiled softly up at you both. “Are you mom and dad?” She asked sweetly.

“Yeah,” Jax said softly, his words make you smile.

“Well, you two have one feisty little lady on your hands.” She said trying very hard to make the best of what is a had moment. All you want to do is hold her, kiss her little nose and promise her the world but you knew you couldn’t. “It took the doctors and the respiratory techs quite a bit of time to get her to a point that she was comfortable and not working too hard to breathe which is why she is on the vent right now. Without it we couldn’t keep her heart rate with in a safe range while the doctors run the tests.” Her tone was soft, yet serious as she spoke and you just gave a little nod not really taking in all the information as you were fixated on your newborn’s tiny little hand with long dainty fingers. “Other than that, she is actually doing quite well now that we have her settled. It’s still a long road ahead..”

“I know,” Jax said softly. “I was born with the same condition, so was my younger brother and my oldest son.” Jax leaned and kissed the back of your head. “Teller’s are tough though…”

“Does she have a name?” The nurse asked softly.

“Gracie Rose…” You start softly.

“Grace Rose Teller..” Jax said with a small smile to the nurse who wrote it down on some paper work.

“Very pretty..” She said before turning back around to you and Jax. “She isn’t strong enough for you to hold her yet, but you can hold her hand if you want.” You nod quickly the nurse shows you how properly wash your hands before you slide your hand through the oval hole and instantly Grace’s fingers wrap around your pinkie.

“Mommy’s here baby.. don’t you worry.” You say softly. “Just rest baby, just rest.” Your voice shook as your little girls squeezed your finger tightly making both you and Jax smile.

“You got this Gracie…” and she did.

While Grace fought for her life, her father fought to keep both of his families intact but he knew that wasn’t going to happen. He tried to make things right with Tara but they never were again. Jax loved your daughter as much and maybe a little more than the boys in some way but you knew that in her own way her life had caused more upheaval and chaos in Jax’s already chaotic life. You knew no matter what things were never going to be the same.

#jax teller imagine #jax teller one shot #jax teller x reader #jax teller/reader #jax teller fanfiction #soa imagine #soa fanfiction #soa one shot #jax teller

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comicteaparty · 6 years ago

Text

July 19th, 2018 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on July 19th, 2018, from 5PM - 7PM PDT. The chat focused on Wednesday7 by Viki Kuli.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

COMIC TEA PARTY START!

Good day everyone~! This week’s Comic Tea Party is now officially beginning~! Today we are discussing Wednesday7 by Viki Kuli~! (https://tapas.io/series/Wednesday7%20) For those new or in need of a reminder, discussions about the comic are freeform, so please feel free to bring up whatever you wish. However, every 30 minutes I will be dropping in a discussion question to help those who would like a prompt. These questions are totally OPTIONAL to answer, and you can pay them no mind if you wish. If you miss out on any though, they’ll be pinned for the duration of the chat once they’re posted~! Remember, constructive criticism is allowed, but the primary focus here is to have fun and appreciate the amazing comics that the community makes~! As a bonus, each chat a top comment will be picked and featured in the archives and on an ad for CTP! All that being said, let’s get started and have a great discussion!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Hello!

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

hey super~!

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Glad to see Wednesday7 get the CTP treatment!

I think my favorite moments thus far were Chapter 3 and the beginning of Chapter 4, mostly with the character interactions.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yes there are definitely some interesting character actions going on

tho one of my fave moments is when the cat slips the key under the door for penn

that is an A+ cat

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yeah that moment was good too

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

actual favorite scene wise though i think id have to pick the scene at the bar. i like the visual nature of mercury's visual distortions. and i also really love mercury's reaction to it. i think just the pacing and expressions are entirely too real. like how he kind of snaps at Penn even though its not Penn's fault exactly. yet, you get why hes snapping cause hes freaking out. and just that little detail makes it a really engrossing scene for me.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I agree, the bar scene was really memorable.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

thats one thing i definitely like about this comic in general though. i feel that the emotions are really realstic and that helps you put you there in each moment

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yeah

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

but back to character interactions, i do enjoy mercury and penn's dynamics. its kind of this interesting mix of tenseness since penn is a stranger who got overly personal really fast. and like...its one of those things where id hate to be mercury cause that situation seems uncomfortable. having a stranger be the only one that can help.

✨Respheal✨

WHOA HI lost track of time okay uhh

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Hello!!

✨Respheal✨

Favorite scene....Okay no I gotta agree with @✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨ -- the scene at the bar was good

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

speaking of the bar scene again i also really love the game they played. i thought that was an interesting setup for getting expositionary info out of the way.

✨Respheal✨

It does really make me wonder who Penn actually is though He definitely knows a lot more than you might think he would(edited)

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

Kind of speed read the comic but my stand out moment was the deal with Wednesday. Visual interesting, great angles, and the character at his lowest.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

That was a really tense moment, making amends with (and ultimately assembling with) a wolf spirit/ghost/whatever

also eey Jonny

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

yo justin

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah. i really just want to know why penn so rando approached him. like was it really just being a neighbor thing? but it might just be strange to me cause ive never been rando approached by neighbors who want to introduce themselves so idk. XD

but yes, the deal with wednesday was really interesting visually for sure. i loved the tense drama as well cause you can really feel that eternal struggle but ultimate acceptance its probably better than death

✨Respheal✨

For sure x.x It's like, "welp, this'll suck, but it's something?"

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

I don't think the initial meet up at the apartment was odd. He got real werid at the bar but that's because he found out some weird demony stuff about him.

✨Respheal✨

And then there was the handshake before that, which clued Penn in to Merc's....weirdness

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

what ever life he leads could also make him not very social(edited)

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah once the handshake penn's behavior made more sense. just that initial approach even felt weird, but like i said just not something ive experienced with neighbors.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

For a sec I thought it was a "sixth sense" type of ordeal or ghost vision.

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

maybe he does that with everyone to find demons or something.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah. thats what im wondering. if penn is a demon hunter. cause if he went with purpose thatd make way more sense to me.

not that he cant be a nice but weird neighbor

QUESTION 2. Besides Mercury and Wednesday, there are two more characters worth discussing: Penn and Julia. Despite seeming normal, Penn seemed to have the best clue of what was going on with Mercury. Who exactly did Penn know that this same thing happened to? Why do you think this person supposedly didn’t make it? How do you think Penn found out about the house where he took Mercury? Was Penn approaching Mercury a coincidence, or was Penn somehow drawn to Mercury because of the impending possession? There is, of course, Julia as well to talk about. What do you think Julia’s past history is with Mercury, especially given she apologized vaguely for something in the past? Do you think Julia will find out about Wednesday, or will Mercury keep it a secret? What role in general do you think Julia will have to play in the story?

✨Respheal✨

A demon hunter? Not sure about that since he basically helped get a demon stuck in Merc

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Ooooh, this'll be interesting

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

well demon hunter in the sense of wants to find the ppl cursed by demons. he just may not know how to do the demon murdering yet

hes only in finding demons 101 at demon hunter school

✨Respheal✨

Okay hahaha xD Yeah, getting into Penn's past will probably reveal a lot about Wednesday, too....like do they know each other? Penn seems to recognize Wednesday at least

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

Maybe he needs a demon to resurrect whoever he lost

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

idk. i didnt get a sense that penn had ill intentions or wanted to use mercury. but i could be wrong. penn could indeed have a specific goal in mind for helping mercury (besides just trying to not fail again). idk if penn knows wednesday. maybe penn knew another day of the week. like monday.

✨Respheal✨

Actually yeah, rereading a bit, I don't think Penn knows much about Wednesday specifically, just that someone else previously went through this and died because they didn't get demon'd

I bet everyone hates Monday......

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

But that implies he's been searching for someone to by demon'd

I'm just super suspicious of Penn

✨Respheal✨

With good reason x'D He seems good! Just......

What does he knooooooooow

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Who even knows!

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

its good to be suspicious though cause how could penn tell mercury was possessed via a handshake. like...i know he knew someone who was possessed before but i doubt that just auto gives you the power to know possession via handshake

✨Respheal✨

Fair xD

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

not to mention who does penn know that told him about the house

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

With Julia I figured that her and Merc tried to start a relationship that didn't work out. Maybe something to do with her leaving for town or maybe they were friends first n it was weird

the blushing implies something romantic

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah i do get the distinct impression that there were romantic feelings involved. tho hard to say if they were together or not. though im leaning towards they were together...maybe like while they were in school. and then julia was rando one day like "welp im out i need more in my life"

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

maybe not that blunt

she got her dream job in town and Merc didn't/couldn't leave

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yeah, least that was worth it

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

it doesn't seems like things ended too badly but I could be wrong.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah. i mean its still possible they werent actually dating before either. which couldve actually been a motivation for julia to leave. like she liked mercury but since neither would make a move she felt that hoping and staying for that relationship wasnt worth it.

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

My presence is really driven by the mood of my month old daughter. I'll be good for a while, checking the backlog here.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Lol

Hey Math

THat's fine- best keep your baby occupied and happy

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Nice, someone already mentioned the scene with the cat passing off the keys, I liked that one too. :>

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

tbf i also think all cats are A+ cats

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

And when all cats are A+.......no one will be........

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Cat MVP(edited)

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Yeah, if memory serves, Mercury was an "I" (introvert, in the character bio) while Penn seems pretty extroverted. That can be awkward. I also liked in that bar scene how if Mercury hadn't been quite so specific, he could have won. ("You have a child" versus specifying the gender.)

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

he wanted to one up him and lost

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

It's true, A+ to cats. Was also very well behaved in the carrier on the trip!

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah it was kind of sad how close mercury was to being right

and then just missed

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I feel like it was that handshake which had Penn press the point... agree that maybe he just shakes hands with everyone waiting for that sort of thing. Must get weird at family reunions.

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

shakes everyone's hand at the bar until he gets kicked out

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Penn might have known Friday. Looking forward to the inevitable Robinson Crusoe cameo.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

a bit off topic, but as i think about penn's knowledge of the house more, im starting to wonder if the person he knew he brought to that house. and that person refused to make the deal so thus died. and so mercury is going to tell penn that and penn is going to be devastated.

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Yeah, I thought maybe there was some kind of relationship thing with Merc and Julia. But I thought maybe he comforted her when she was having a bad relationship with someone else. But then she fled town to get away.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

QUESTION 3. Though Wednesday reveals a few tidbits of information, little is known about him. Do you believe Wednesday’s goals really are to just get closer to humanity, or do you think Wednesday has secret goals? Besides what we’ve seen so far, what do you think Wednesday will do with his newfound freedom? Do you believe Wednesday will continue to remain interested in the human world, or do you believe he’ll eventually get bored? Additionally, do you think Wednesday will find a way to bond with Mercury? Speaking of Mercury, why do you think of all the people in the world Wednesday picked Mercury? Was it just happenstance, or is there something special about Mercury? Of a last note, do you believe Wednesday will meet another demon/spirit?

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Maybe the previous person was the owner of the house, and that's how Penn knew about it?

✨Respheal✨

On the "why Merc" point...apparently Mercury's parents were in on it, naming him like that

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I suspect that this isn't Wednesday's first merging with a person, but the seventh. Given the title. ^.- I'd be curious to know how the previous melds went.

✨Respheal✨

Mercury = Mercredi = Wednesday I get the gist that Wed just wants a body to live in since he's probably trapped in whatever parallel purple world he comes from normally

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Respheal: Should you really speak about his parents Venus and Mars that way?

✨Respheal✨

pffffff

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Mercury was also the messenger, hence the speeding around town, methinks.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

What about Saturn?

or Uranus?

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

He seems to just want to cause mayhem

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

or Wednesday's alternate universe friend Friday?

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i can only conclude mercury is from a hippie family and left town cause he didnt want to do anything with their new age stuff.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

horribly forced joke over

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i mean to be fair there could be a club. of planet named ppl who are all possessed by demons. and penn is gonna go introduce him.

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

Wed said something about destroying humanity.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

but yeah with a title like wednesday 7 it could be implying that wednesday has done 7 possessions now. although there are also 7 days of the week so maybe wednesday is actually the last to possess someone in this generation

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Maybe the club is behind that bar that they went to? I feel like that wasn't coincidence that they were there, and that's when Mercury started having the swimmy visions.

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

7 days of possession per haps

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

OH. Which reminds me. The talk Mercury had with the bartender in the background there was funny.

Rebel: Oooh, that's an interesting one. Wednesday's late to the game.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Then again getting drunk does really weird things

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Incidentally, I kind of like that idea that random names we give to things take on their own identity out in the ether somewhere. In part because it fits with my personifying math functions, but still. ^.-

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

could Penn be a previous possession?

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

maybe but i dont feel he is. although it would explain why he could tell via handshake

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

(The scene I meant by the way was this one, where he's calling the bartender "Joey") https://tapas.io/episode/558419

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Ooohhhh, good find

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah i thought that was a cute background convo.

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Oh! Penn had a daughter, and he's divorced. Maybe his Daughter was the previous possession, and it led to the marriage breaking up.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

and my thoughts still stand, don't underestimate the lower of alcohol

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

What's Joey's backstory?

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Joey owns a small kangaroo.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

ya know didnt penn just say he lost someone to a demon? i keep assuming it means said person died, but maybe said person is just 100% possessed all the time whereas mercury gets to get his body back somehow.

i think you mean joey was raised by kangaroos O_O

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Rebel: That's an interesting thought. Maybe after the person dies the spirit can still possess them, but only for a finite amount of time....?

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

Penn possessed killed someone.

would be pretty dark

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

He's spent time in the state.... penn.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

"Back into your pen(n)!"

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

math no

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

that could be tho. penn is secretly a murderer

although now im worried for mercury

petty thievery is one thing O_O

murder is a whole other ballpark

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

but if he's possessed then did he really kill them? or did the demon do it?

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

The cat trusted Penn though. He can't be too bad.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yea(edited)

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

So here's a question.... are there spirits for months too? Because August just refers to Augustus Caesar. Is the spirit of Caesar roaming around out there? Because I don't think he'd fit in too well.

Jonny: Hmmm. Maybe there's rules like with hypnosis, you can't do anything you wouldn't normally? (Is Mercury the type to steal watches?)

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

well given that a day of the week can have a demon spirit thing, its not inconceivable a month can. albeit i doubt august is the spirit of augustus ceasar XD unless the demon dresses up like it for fun.

and if hes possessed it depends on who controls the body O_O

i do hope wednesday and mercury can mentally communicate somehow

or leave like post it notes for one another at least

"Drank all the milk. Buy more. -Wednesday"(edited)

✨Respheal✨

Yes please

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Julia... that's a bit like Julius, for Julius Caesar, for JULY, hmmm.

✨Respheal✨

I need this in my life

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

"That wasn't milk. -Merc" (Gotta keep him guessing.)

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

would stories have demons since they embody thoughts and emotions for people?

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Stories like Virgil's "The Illiad" kind of thing?

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

would make sense if stories could

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Wait, he wrote the Aeneid, what am I thinking.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

although if stories can i think demons outdo humans in population

so there must be specific circumstances that allow someone to possess someone else

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Though that reminds me of that old poem about the days of the week. And "Wednesday's child is full of woe".

Ref: https://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/Monday%27s+child+is+fair+of+face

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Okay, so time for a fun theory. Penn and Wednesday used to date, but something went wrong with the possession. So now that Wednesday has a new body, we're in for hijinks as Mercury and Julia have a date at the same time as they do.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

the real reason they divorced: penn's one true love is wednesday

and by they i mean penn and his other spouse

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

God I hope that doesn't happen

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Penn was born on a Wednesday.

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

Solomon Grundy born on a Monday

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

maybe wednesday had to pick mercury because of the name and maybe mercury was born on a wednesday. maybe it takes that sort of high affiliation for possession

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

It would cut down on the number of possessions per year.

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

possession tax?

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

They have a tax for that too?

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Maybe the fact that Merc's place was partially furnished is also indicative of shenanigans.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

QUESTION 4. In order to save his own life, Mercury fuses himself with Wednesday. However, the full consequences of this act are yet to be known. How do you think Mercury might gain control of his body again, even if only temporarily speaking? Assuming he does (as the comic description implies), do you think Mercury will be completely normal, or will being possessed by Wednesday give him access to Wednesday’s supernatural powers? Do you feel Mercury will have an easy time having a normal life, or will the experience render him unable to fit in with society anymore? How do you think his relationships will affected by the change? Lastly, do you think Mercury will attempt to get rid of Wednesday, and if so, what lengths do you think he will go to?

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Already contains Wednesday's favourite couch.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

thats a good point, math. it is suspicious the apartment was furnished without mercury knowing

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Well look at the bight side

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

Maybe Merc's mind is in some other plain and we'll see that

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

you're merged with a bloody wolf

you can do wolf things

Like howl

and...uh...

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Merc regains control on the full moon.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

what other badass wolf things exist?

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

Julia tries to bring Merc back but Penn gets in the way(edited)

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Merc's probably going to have to do a bunch of research. I imagine he'll corner Penn for info, could create a rift there.

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

Maybe it's a night thing. We've only seem Wed at night

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

(I won't propose a Mercury Penn ship because that's too Sailor Moon jewelry-esque.)

Jonny: Oh, that's a good point.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

maybe its a day thing and wednesday can only come out on wednesdays

cause wednesday did keep checking the time it seemed like

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Especially cause there's no thing as Wednesnight

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

stop

now

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Yeah, we don't know what day of the week it is. Though that would make meetings awkward, if they can only possess on particular days... hmm.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

really hard to say this early on.

i definitely think mercury is gonna try to cure himself though

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yeah(edited)

he has to

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

cause i mean on this first night wednesday has already caused a lot of chaos

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

No kidding

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

At least he has a totally different appearance from Merc. So the people with the camera phones and the theft videos won't be going after him.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yea

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Will Wednesday save the girl on purpose in that latest episode, you think? Or will he just mess them both up by blowing past? (Maybe giving the watches away is meant to show he's a ladies man himself?)

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i think hell save her on purpose. but less cause hes like "oh no that girl allow me to save her"

but more as a "wow this looked fun"

i would be interested in seeing merc's mind on another plain as jonny suggested. i think that would lend to some very cool comic visuals

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

That might be interesting. I wonder if he'd see the purplish vision things in living colour, and the real world as purplish blobs.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

now thatd be a cool reversal

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

With Penn living in both places, maybe.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i wonder if well see wednesday and penn have a conversation

that could be interesting

and could reveal stuff about penn that maybe wednesday knows for whatever demon spirit reasons

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Yeah, I wonder how well they get along, since Wednesday just kind of blew by him.

There's also that mercury tattoo, maybe Merc lives there? O.o

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Oooooh

Interesting find

(again)

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

lots of little details I missed. probably cause I read it fast.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i just noticed

https://tapas.io/episode/1000244

that sign says swift st.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

zoom

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i really hope that was an intentional joke XD

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Well you do move swiftly along

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

probably

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Oh! I noticed that at the time and thought it was really clever.

Glad you remembered to say something.

I wonder what does show up on traffic cameras, if anything.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

well given the comic description probably just what it appears.

cause the descrip implies that basically wednesday is gonna be some wanted criminal

which is gonna suck if they collect dna evidence

suck for mercury that is

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Ah, right, good point. Fingerprints even.

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

possible story arcs

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yes. so mercury is definitely gonna be tapering on the edge there

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

yus

OH crud only 4 minutes left

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I wonder how much Mercury's been watching of stuff like technology. He did seem to know to grab the more expensive watches. Surely he knows about surveillance systems?

vikikuli

Hi everyone! Sorry I just make it on, had work until now :/ but the discussion looks awesome so far! thoroughly enjoying it

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

VIKI!

Hello there!

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

hey man!

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

It's actually about to end ^^;

3 minutes left

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Hi author/writer/artist!

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Glad you made it in time so I could tell ya you're an awesome person with lots of great skill and talent

and I wish you luck with working on more of the comic!

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

dido

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I suppose one of the questions that Mercury should probably answer is what Wednesday did last time, given the remark "Good to be back".

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

"You still have all these unpaid parking tickets from twenty years ago too."

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

glad you could make it, @vikikuli ~! even if it is towards the end

tbf

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

You'd think Penn could've paid them.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

that would be wednesday's last body's job to pay im sure O_O

does anyone have any quick closing remarks?

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

It'll be interesting to see how the body sharing goes.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I already said mine so I'm good!

And yeah, I second that

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

Penn is evil

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

But only on WEdnesdays.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

COMIC TEA PARTY END!

Unfortunately, the scheduled Comic Tea Party time is now up~! Thank you everyone so much for reading and joining this week’s chat~! We want to give a special thank you to Viki Kuli, as well, for making Wednesday7 and volunteering it for our reading queue. If you liked the comic, please be sure to support Viki Kuli’s efforts however you’re able to. All that being said, if you would like to continue discussing this week’s comic, we highly encourage you to do so~!

For next week, Comic Tea Party will focus on Stomp by Brodnork. As always, please use the next several days to read as much of the comic as you would like. We hope to see you next Thursday on July 26th from 5PM to 7PM PDT for the chat~! Until then, happy reading~! Comic: http://stompwebcomic.com/

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #book club #bookclub #comic book club #comic bookclub #webcomic bookclub #webcomic book club #comic tea party #ctp #wednesday7 #wednesday 7 #viki kuli

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energhs-letters-blog · 8 years ago

Text

The Beginning

So I have a lot of thoughts running around inside my head these days. I wanted somewhere to get them. Sure, high school had some drama, but university was where I really hit the self-freakout session. A lot of significant internal and external changes happened during the four years I was accumulating my debt - and while I want this to be a blog of everything, about work, about coding, about women, about men, about unicorns - I feel like this is an especially important message that I want to try to relay to everyone else who is struggling through. I’m not sure how articulate I can be around it, but I’ll try.

I’ve made a lot of false starts - I’m trying to be funny, to be sarcastic, to be inspirational with intent, but it comes out as fake and the words don’t flow.

So tonight, I’m trying a different way.

I will be brutally honest, brutally raw, and I will not pretend to be someone I’m not - nor say things I think others want to hear. Because I think it’s important to say how hard things can be, and admit how much we may struggle, because having a hard time does not make you weak. It’s a thing everyone goes through.

The first post will be about the huge freakout I had the day I turned 20.

No one else seemed to treat 20 as a big deal.

But for me, 20 was my first teen-less double digit number. It was the day where “she’s just a kid” will no longer be an applicable excuse. Because when you reach that “20”, you’re now an official unofficial young “adult”. Whatever that means.

If you had asked the 8-year old me, where she thought she would be at the age of 20, I can bet you my entire fortune she would not describe the point where I am at now. She would have imagined blue skies, a road to success and an ease and maturity which never came.

Somehow, I blinked. And I was here. Where this is, I’m not sure myself. But I’m living and breathing this person who is running hard to catch up to everyone else’s expectations - because if I fail to meet those expectations then who am I?

No matter where I go with my writing, I always come back to where it all started. And that is with BTS (Bangtan Boys). Specifically at this point in time, I was about a year and a half late before I heard “No More Dream”, and I can safely say it placed me on a whole different track.

“Oh no, another crazy k-pop fan.”

Are you joining the millions of voices who are saying this? Including my mother, who was terrified that I would, for some insane reason, drop my entire life here and chase after these Korean boys? (Please, I’m too selfish and broke for that).

If you’re ready to listen with an open mind, or if you’re curious, then settle in.

I’ll refute some things now. Very, very recently, have I only just managed to suss this problem with mum. I have never been one to get crazy about a trend, or to become so attached to someone/something that I’m incapable of leaving it. I’ve never been “that fan.”

But with BTS it’s different. As I’ve recently explained to my mother, it’s not the looks. Are some of you surprised? Skeptical? Keep reading.

It’s very hard for me to say that all of BTS, especially my favourite member, is what is generically accepted as good-looking. The reason why I love them so much, is because all of their lyrics have this multiplicity of depth to them. They are real, they are harsh, and they don’t just describe the lovey-dovey push-pull feel, but they talk about the education system, the political system, their personal struggles. Youth, and not just the good sides of it. Just recently, I was re-reading the lyrics to their most recent album, and hiding under the pop-ish beats, the lyrics are strong and they hit me hard. Despite the less old school hip hop beats which sucked me in during the Dark and Wild days, the lyrics are still as significant as ever.

Starting with their debut song, “No More Dream":

This was the first song that I heard which really hit me hard. The night I listened to that song was actually a very terrifying turning point in my life.

“Why aren’t you saying anything? You don’t wanna study but you’re scared to quit school?”

I was exactly that kid. The one with the stellar grades, who broke my back studying for those letters just so I could avoid the sense of failure. I didn’t know who I wanted to be. I didn’t know what made me happy. I snatched what I had mistakenly grasped as the concept of success and happiness and chased obsessively over it. As a result, exams stressed me out to the point where it would be difficult to breathe when results came out. I told little white lies about failures, brushing them off as “I wasn’t really that invested in it” to give myself a way out.

This was not healthy behaviour and I knew it. But the taste of defeat is so bitter sometimes that it’s hard to swallow, and instead you would do anything you can to avoid having that in your mouth, as opposed to learning how to deal with it instead.

I couldn’t say I loved studying - it was a necessity to not feel like that failure that I was terrified of. It became a brand that I never wanted.

“What is the you that you’ve dreamed of? Who do you see in the mirror? I gotta say Go on your path, even if you live for a day Do something, put away your weakness”

Strangers would come up to me and say:

“Hey, I know you. You’re that really smart girl.”

And that’s where the fear creeps in - if I lose that trait, who will I be anymore? It seemed to be the only redeeming trait I had. I internalised all of their expectations of me, and built my motivation off the fear of disappointing them.

When I heard this song, I suddenly realised that I am the child they are criticising, that they are telling to wake up. It was like someone had dumped cold water over me, and broken me out of this haze that I was living in.

What I dreamed of? It lasted no further than the next thing which might yield me a result.

Who do I see in the mirror? I saw someone I didn’t recognise. Someone who was lacking in every way.

I’d been so busy chasing all of those expectations of others that if you took them away from me, I wouldn’t have a clue of who I was, what made me happy, and what I wanted out of life.

This was the start of it all. And also where I gained that courage to dive into the scary depths of what I didn’t know - to try and figure out who I was. Obviously that’s not a one-day job. That’s not even a one-year job. But if I couldn’t be happy with myself, then I would never be able to be truly happy without external validation, and I had just been so tired of living that way.

And that tiredness is not a feeling you can ignore once you feel it’s presence.

I spontaneously applied for a semester of exchange. I was confident I would get into my first choice, and had it all planned out.

Now for the dirty secret that I cautiously omitted whilst telling peers about the exchange: I didn’t get into my first choice university. I was just squeezed out.

While I didn’t manage to get in, my friend did - and I can’t say that it was easy for me to feel happy for her about it either. I wanted to, but I was also wondering “What did I do so wrong which let me down?” I found myself pushing myself down again.

With my second choice being Edinburgh (who had accepted), it was such unknown territory, and the change in plans had shaken me up that I was wondering if I should wait another year and re-apply to HKU.

“Why Hong Kong? What’s in Hong Kong that you can’t do in Edinburgh?”

My friend, who had previously gone on exchange in Leeds, the picture of confidence and I-don’t-give-a-shit, asked that. And it was a question which shook my decision to wait, because I scrapped to find a reasonable answer.

“B-Because I want to really throw myself into the deep end. I want to really find myself this time around.”

“You can’t do that in Edinburgh?”

I will forever be grateful to her for pushing me. I realised the main person holding me back was myself. Deep in my subconscious, I knew I had family in Hong Kong. A safety net I was holding tight in my fist whilst denying it at the same time.

I chose Edinburgh in the end. Because, it was new. It was a challenge. No one knew me there, and I knew no one. Through the chance of a clean slate, no matter how awkward I am. No matter how strange I am, I will be me, without the “Oh….you dressed up today? Why are you wearing this? You look like a different person!”

And I can very honestly say, if it wasn’t for those lyrics, however meaningless they may seem to you at first, I would have not made that first step out. They gave me the courage I needed to get there and make that scary decision to be alone. Learn to be alone without hating myself. And embrace that loneliness, be comfortable with myself, and find out what things about myself that I had been scared to know.

So to bring this weird wonky circle to an awkward close until the next post, the rest of my posts will probably tie very closely in with BTS, their songs and how they’ve inspired me. Because although sometimes it’s hard to get the words out without hackling up defenses to admit that I do avidly follow a kpop group, I’m not embarrassed by the fact at all. Because through their songs, lyrics, little monologues and writings, I’ve gained so much strength and courage from them that I would be pretending to be someone I’m not by turning my back on them when they’ve given me so much.

This is me.

The brutally honest, ugly, raw version of me.

You can turn away if you want. You can close this down if you want.

But I’m not perfect. I believe that I have tried very hard at living this life, rather than simply existing but it definitely hasn’t been an easy journey in any way. And even though I didn’t expect it to be one, it didn’t make the repercussions hurt any less.

I’m hoping that somewhere, somehow, I’ll be able to help some of you push along too, and make you realise that struggling and that feeling of fear for failure is nothing to be ashamed of.

Embrace everything which gives you strength, and allow it to give you that strength, let it seep into you, to lift you up, to help you love yourself, because we are not defined by what other people say or think about us - we are defined by ourselves, and only ourselves.

#inspiration #writing #me #rambles #motivation #growing up #bangtan #bts #bangtan boys #raw

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