#notyourfoodie

[somemilanlove]

What Am I doing at the Magnolia Table?

Hey there!! 

If you’re reading this you’re probably asking yourself if it’s a post worth your time and hopefully your 5 sec scroll, scroll, stop attention span has given you time to pause here with me. My name is Rachel, a small town west texas girl, mom of 4 little humans who are my everything and also take my everything to keep up with. I am a former high school science teacher who now fancies herself an IG Public Figure, Entrepreneur, Fitness Influencer.  My life is pretty busy filled with to do lists, laundry, homework, & parent teacher meetings on top of the additional daily tasks of my Mom-Boss side hustle.

It’s because  of this non-stop mania where I serve others, seemingly, all day long  that I’ve decided to spend the next 365 days very much like Julie Powell did back in 2002. If you’ve never seen the chick flick Julie & Julia then add it to your watch list on Netflix because #1 its a good one, and #2 this blog will make so much more sense to you when you do. I happened to watch this movie a couple nights ago with my husband (who sat through the entire thing with me almost as in to the movie as I was btw) when she to found herself uninspired and wondering what her purpose and happiness in life was to be found.

Unlike Julie I am not a writer, I did not go to school to become a journalist, novelist, or professional blogger of any kind. I’ve worn many hats in my short 33 years of life but never those. The closest I come to being a good cook are the “fancy” meal ideas I make for Xmas and Thanksgiving  from my hand-me down Home Living Cookbooks.  Which i usually eat happily while the others around me would much rather enjoy a Sonic burger. Before that my cooking skills came from my grandmother, who made simple meals of meat and potatoes, or your typical Mexican dishes with beans and rice usually being the main course since money wasn’t always available for the meats. I added to those “skills” working for McDonald’s at the age of 14 and continued on learning by reading recipes as  the internet became more available to me.  Showing my age there huh.

As any rebel girl does I did not marry out of high school, I went to a small college where I worked two jobs and lived off ramen and campus cafeteria food. Later on I became a nurse out of necessity. I became a mother at age 21 and did the right thing by everyone but me and married young. As a nurse I was following in my mother in laws footsteps ( a woman I very much adore and who I hope to make proud with everything I do.) it was there that I learned a few new things about cooking Mexican food, had cookbooks readily available & more free time to play with a full kitchen.

I have always enjoyed being in the kitchen. Feeding people and gift giving are my love languages. As a young girl I would watch my mom make her simple foods with what little we had, steal a tortilla any time I could, As a teen my grandmother gave in to letting me be the one to help her in the kitchen since no one else would volunteer and she couldnt get rid of me anyway.

Soon after my oldest was born and I was done with nursing school my husband and I realized we just were not compatible, I moved into an on campus dorm with my son in tow and started working on my next goal, my bachelors in Biology. I went to school full time, hired a nanny and worked night shift on the weekends. Just to be able to afford the gas money for my work commute on the weekends & the young college student who watched my son during class. My student loans covered everything in between one semester at a time. Soon after I met the young man who would soon become the father of my second son ( months later)  and 2  beautiful daughters (years later) , my husband, & my best friend.

The next 3 years went by faster than I can remember, with days filled with my own homework, classes, and playtime with my boys, & my nights filled with caring for the local seniors at the retirement home. Any days off were spent working my second job 80 miles a way, managing at the same place that gave me my start. I kept learning new ways to cook, bake & expanded my print out recipe collection.

Graduation came and went like a whirlwind. The day most people are excited about freaked me out. Here I was to leave what had been my home for the past 3 years to go out into the real world. My routine of in and out of campus buildings, familiar fresh paint smells, professors rushing past & lazy freshmen littering the quad between classes was all I had known. The routine of overworking myself and stretching myself thin had also become normal. Checking boxes of what was right by society was also very normal.

After graduation I moved back in with my mother in law. I worked at the local nursing home at my usual night shift & the pressure of finding my own place and being a grown up on my own was on!! And it was heavy!! Not because anyone placed it on me but because I expected it of myself. Within a few short weeks I had applied to jobs using my newly acquired degree as leverage, or so I thought. After a few weeks went by I panicked I spent the afternoon spilling my guts and fears about student loan repayment to my mother in law who suggested I teach. “Just jump into the certification course in Midland, I’ll call Gil Ray.” She was the Head of all the school nurses after all, and new the people who I needed to talk to. Within a week I was interviewed, hired, and on the right track to taking a blitz certification course 2 hours away.

Its seemed like the right thing to do at the time since I was already a mom of two little boys and a single momming it. This is probably the first time I admit this openly to anyone outside of my immediate family, but I had zero interest in becoming a teacher. I was afraid of moving out of the small town we lived in & leaving my family & support system. So I did what looked right & even though I felt less for it. I know it seems I am rambling on and this is supposed to be a dialogue about food and what an amazing recipe is in store for you, but like I mentioned before I’m not here as a writer to dazzle you with my own original new recipes or as an amazing cook/chef or foodie, simply a mama on her journey to figure out her place in this world.

Between the time of my certification and Day 1 of my new job I had reunited with my college flame, baby daddy & did the grown up thing and moved in together. We continued to grow our family & I continued to feed them with loving recipes when I had time, which turned out to be the weekends (when i wasn’t coaching) and  holidays when I would hope to impress friends and family with my amazing skills.

Fast Forward 5 years and you’ll find me leaving that teaching job, working for myself as a virtual health and wellness coach, helping mamas lose that baby weight, eat healthier and do the same for their friends and family too. You’ll find me back here at my table, with a little girl in tow, free time to think about my purpose in life and how I might find what lights my fire. I love what I do but something tells me I am meant for something different in life. I’m not sure what and to be honest, I feel selfish for thinking I have the right to know. Especially when so many before me didn’t have the luxury to even realize they may have been meant for more.

My hope is that over the next 365 days of me doing what I enjoy, what I love may come to mind, I might be blogging one night and spark a conversation with myself and know once and for all “this is it”. 

Whatever that might be.