#notice how I remained calm and collected
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lklvz · 23 days ago
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Sunday
5 minute Solo chat with Adam
Buckle up besties. This was a JOURNEY
Today I wore my Adam Rodriguez Eras Tour shirt that I made. It had some of my favourite characters of his on it!
When I booked the Sunday solo i KNEW id be overwhelmed on the Saturday and wanted to make sure I wasn't a fucking sook when talking to him.
Past me was so spot on because i was CHILL as fuck.
I walk in and smile at him, filled with so much confidence “Hellllllo gorgeous"
he stands up BEAMING from ear to ear, with his arms out ready for a hug.
"DANNI! i /love/ the shirt!"
he asked if he could take a photo of it....
like,. what,, did i.. did i hear that correctly you
YOU WANT A PHOTO OF ME....... I LIVE IN THAT MANS CAMERA ROLL>???>>
IS THE POPE A CATHOLIC?????, Y E S YOU CAN TAKE A PHOTO WTF.
I tell him that the shirt represents my two favourite things,
" there's only two things i love more than my husband, and thats Taylor Swift, and you."
he laughed and said "and he just accepts that??" to which i replied. "he knows his place"
I told him how he encouraged me to take this trip because he knew just how much it meant to me.
he started talking about finding your Person and how wonderful it is when you connect and click with the One . how nothing made sense until he met his wife. hes sucha fucking softie. i CANNOT😭😭
he asked if he remembered correctly that IM from Melbourne. he mentioned his author friend and recommended i read the book he published. I told him id hunt it down (it arrived today!) (shantaram by Gregory David Roberts )
I asked him if he had any tattoos after he pointed mine out. he told me theres two reasons why he doesnt.
1) he knows that if he starts, he wont be able to stop, and that hed need to keep the canvas even (if he got one on his chest hed have to match it on the other side) 2) he doesnt want to have to spend 45 minutes in the make up chair everyday getting them covered up. he LOVES rolling into work right when he needs to be there so he does not want to have to get there early to get them covered up. And TBH he’s so real for that.
We spoke about Magic Mike and how he still keeps in contact with the guys, he spoke about how Channing called him up and asked if he wanted to be in the movie. He said that he worked with him previously before he was a Big Star and I was like “yeah he was in an epnof CSI Miami” and he stares at me “yeah, you knew that?… HOW did you know that” and me trying to remain as composed as possible managed to say “I know you” as if that’s not the most creepy thing I could have said. But he seemed endeared by it.
We were running out of time and he starts yapping away again before turning to the nice helper lady who was trying to gently and kindly keep us on schedule and asked if we were out of time. And she was like “we are already late at the moment” and Adam slaps the table and goes “well if we’re already late then that’s fine! She came all the way from Australia! We can give her more time!”
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The helper lady did ask if she could take a photo of us for the socials and like who am I to deny them that? 😂😂
I told him that he was the only reason I watched Magic Mike. I had no interest in watching male strippers then I found out he was in it and just had to watch it.
He laughed and asked what I thought of it and I’m pretty sure I moaned instead of articulating anything.
He told me he loved working on it and had fun with it.
Five minutes really does go FAST when you’re yapping but he really was so damn easy to talk to.
The way he apologised to me for rambling away about something as if I would ever tell him to shut up. I told him I didn’t care what we talked about. That this was more than I could ever ask for.
He couldn’t believe I flew all that way and he hoped that it was worth it. Like BABES 🙈 my name was in your mouth. It was worth it.
We took our selfies and he held my phone as he snapped a handful of them for me.
As I went to move away (RELUCTANTLY) he PULLED me back in. And said
“Nah, come on, a few more, gimme a big smile” 🫠🫠
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As I was leaving, Kirsten’s two friends (who were sitting in on the Kirsten solo chats) shouted out to me “show us the shirtttttttt”
I’m pretty sure I was dead again at this point I barely remember any of the garvez QnA that followed right after this.
@darcyfangirlsfrequently already knows all this but I’m tagging them again, anyway.
Bonus:
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r0ugesun · 6 months ago
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running with the wolves
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Beta read by my wife @moonstruksandco ( ˘ ³˘)˘ᵋ ˘ )♥
Synopsis: Cregan Stark, the formidable Lord of Winterfell, eagerly awaits the arrival of his new betrothed, y/n, who has bewitched him since childhood. As winter sets in, he hopes to transform their arranged marriage into a union of love. However, y/n arrives with her own doubts, unsure if she can return his deep affection. Will their marriage blossom into love, or remain a cold duty? Cregan is determined to show her that their bond can be more than just an obligation on their wedding night.
Warnings: 18+ slow burn, smut, arranged marriage, loss of virginity, p in v sex (unprotected), breeding kink, rough sex, oral sex(both f/m receiving) missionary, mating press, doggy style lots of cum (I think all stark men cum bucket loads)
8k+ words likes and reblogs are highly appreciated ෆ/⟳ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶
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(Authors note: omg hayy I don’t know that much about Yorkshire accents aside from ackley bridge so I’m sorry in advanced if it’s not right :>)
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The wind howled through the ancient halls of Winterfell, carrying with it the biting chill of the northern winter. Cregan Stark, the Warden of the North, stood by the great hearth in the main hall, his keen grey eyes fixed on the entrance. The time had come for the arrival of his new betrothed, y/n, the most beautiful amongst house Tyrell.
From the moment he first saw her, Cregan had been captivated. Even as a young lad, her grace and elegance had set her apart. Now, as a grown woman, she was even more bewitching, and Cregan's heart swelled with a mix of anticipation and determination. He was resolved to turn their arranged marriage into a union of love.
As Cregan stood by the hearth, he watched the window, the snowflakes drifting lazily to the ground, a distant memory surfaced, warm and vivid against the icy present. He closed his eyes, allowing himself to be transported back to a time when he was just a young lad of twelve, visiting Highgarden with his family.
He remembered the journey vividly, how different the South had seemed compared to the North. The air was warmer, the colors more vibrant. He had wandered through the lush gardens, marveling at the flowers and plants that couldn’t survive the harsh winters of Winterfell. It was in those gardens that he first saw her.
Y/n had been around his age, a vision of beauty even then. She sat on a stone bench, engrossed in a book, her expression serene and detached. Her hair, shining in the sunlight, cascaded down her shoulders, and her delicate features were framed by the backdrop of blooming flowers. She seemed almost like a fairytale princess, so enchanting that he could scarcely believe she was real.
Without even realizing it his feet began to move on their own, he was like a moth being drawn to the flame that was her. As he approached her, His heart pounded in his chest, an unfamiliar but exhilarating feeling. She glanced up briefly from her book as he neared, her eyes meeting his for just a moment before returning to her reading.
“H-Hello” he said, trying to muster as much confidence as he could. “What are yeh reading?”
She responded without looking up this time, her voice calm and distant. “Hmm a collection of poems” she replied. “Do you like poetry?”
Cregan, caught off guard, nodded. “Aye. Though I don’t read much of it.”
She patted the space beside her, still not lifting her gaze from the pages. “You can sit if you want.”
He sat down slowly, feeling a strange sense of destiny in that moment. She continued to read aloud, her voice weaving the words into a tapestry of emotion and beauty. He listened, captivated not by the poetry but by her otherworldliness her grace, and the way she brought the words to life. He couldn’t take his eyes off her, completely in star struck, while she remained indifferent, too engrossed in her book to notice his adoration.
That was the last time they spoke just a few exchange of words. The rest of his visit to Highgarden was spent with his father and training with Y/N’s brothers and learning the ways of a lord, much to his chagrin. But whenever he could, he would steal glances at her from a window while she read in the garden, and across from her at dinner, for which his mother often scolded him.
"Cregan, it's impolite to stare" his mother whispered sharply during dinner one evening, nudging his foot under the table.
He tore his eyes away from y/n, his cheeks burning and crimson red. "I weren’t starin’, Mother.”
“Yeh most certainly were” she replied, her tone firm. “It’s not appropriate. Focus on yer meal.”
“But she’s… she’s so…”
“Enchantin’?” his mother finished for him, a knowing smile tugging at her lips. “Aye, she is. But yeh must remember yer manners, lad. Staring is unbecoming of a young lord.”
Cregan sighed, casting one last, fleeting glance at y/n, who was still in her own little world not casting a single glance his way. “Aye, mother….”
Despite his mother’s admonitions, his fascination with Y/N only grew, even as she remained blissfully unaware of his admiration.
Cregan opened his eyes, the memory fading as the cold reality of Winterfell settled back in. He sighed, turning away from the window. Some things, he mused, never truly changed.
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In the dimly lit carriage, y/n huddled under the blankets, trying to stave off the biting cold that seemed to seep through the very fabric of her clothes. Her mother sat beside her, wrapped in her own covers and trying to offer some semblance of warmth and comfort. The carriage jolted over the rough, snow covered road, and every bump made her shiver more.
Her brothers, true to their duty, were outside braving the harsh northern winter with their horses, though y/n could scarcely imagine how they managed. She, however, had the luxury of being confined to the carriage, a prisoner of her own anxieties and fears.
The stories she’d heard about Cregan Stark haunted her thoughts. The gruff warden of the north with a claymore sword so heavy it was said to be the size of a small man. To her, the very idea of marrying such a man was nightmarish. She couldn't remember much about him from his family’s previous visit to Highgarden all those years ago, but the tales of his fierceness and the imposing aura of the North made her dread the moment she would finally meet him.
The carriage seemed to creak with the weight of her mother's discontent. Her mother’s complaints, murmured under her breath but audible enough for y/n to hear, were laced with disdain. “I cannot believe we’ve had to send our only daughter off to marry a Stark”
“Their way of life, covered in stinking animal pelts, living amongst brutes who value strength over grace. It’s hardly the life for a Tyrell.” She said with disgust.
Her father’s stern gaze flicked towards her mother, his patience evidently wearing thin. "We’ve discussed this, Eliza. The match is made, and it’s for the good of House Tyrell. Stop lamenting what cannot be undone."
To him, this marriage was merely a strategic move, a means to secure more power for Highgarden. His daughter's feelings were of no consequence, his focus was solely on the political gain.
“Do you have to be so callous?” her mother’s voice broke through the gloom. “She is our daughter.”
Her father’s gaze remained unyielding. “The alliance with the Starks is necessary for the gain of our house. Y/n is to be a dutiful wife to a powerful lord it’s what she was raised for, if she does her duty right she’ll bear him many children further securing our power”
As her father’s harsh words continued to echo in her ears, y/n’s anger flared. She straightened up, glaring at him . “If you wanted to gift Cregan a broodmare, you should’ve gotten him one of the whores you visit in the brothels” she spat out, her voice trembling with defiance.
mother’s gasp of shock was barely audible over the creaking of the carriage. Her father’s eyes were wild, a hot fury flashing in them. Before y/n could react, his hand shot out, delivering a hard, stinging slap across her face. The sharp force of it made her head snap to the side, and she recoiled, stunned by the sudden violence.
“How dare you!” her father’s voice roared with anger.
y/n’s mother was frozen, her hand going to her mouth in shock. She looked at her husband with a mixture of horror and helplessness. “Henry, please—”
“Be silent!” he snapped, cutting her off. “I will not tolerate such insolence!“
He turned his icy gaze back to y/n, his face a mask of unrelenting severity. “You are about to become the wife of a powerful man. you are fortunate that I secured this arrangement, otherwise you would just end up being Cregans whore in some brothel anyway.”
Y/n’s heart sank as she heard the finality in his cruel words. She knew better than to argue with him—his decisions were made with an iron will that left no room for dissent.
as the carriage continued its slow journey through the snow, y/n's thoughts were plagued with anxiety and uncertainty. The grandeur of Winterfell loomed ahead, and with it, the reality of her new life as Cregan Stark’s bride. She could only hope that, amidst the cold and the gruffness of her new home, she might find a way to endure this new chapter of her life.
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As Cregan stood by the hearth, still lost in his own thoughts, the door swung open with a crash and his friends burst in, laughter and shouts echoing through the great hall.
“Cregan, ye dog! Heard the news, did we!” Jorah boomed, striding up to him and clapping him on the back with such force it nearly sent him stumbling forward.
“Aye, lad, congratulations!” Gendry called out, raising his tankard high. “A Tyrell, no less! Must’ve done somethin’ right to be landin’ a lass like that.”
Cregan, smiling, shook his head as he tried to make sense of the sudden uproar. “Cheers, lads. Bit early for a celebratory drink, ain’t it?”
Bram, always one for a jest, stepped forward with a grin. “Well, Cregan, we heard she’s real beauty, fairest in all the Seven Kingdoms. Quite the catch for a dog like you. Ain’t right, really, a face like hers and a face like yours.”
Cregan raised an eyebrow, a grin tugging at his lips. “Oh, is that so? And what about ye lot, then? All of ye been lookin’ in the mirror lately?”
The room erupted in laughter, and Bram waved a dismissive hand. “Aye, we might be a rough lot, but at least we ain’t got to worry ‘bout our faces bein’ compared to a rose.”
Robb, always quick with a quip, leaned in with a wink. “Might be true she’ll forget all ‘bout yer ugly mug once she gets a look at what’s really under yer tunic. you’ve got more to offer than just yer sorry looks.”
Cregan’s cheeks flushed slightly, but he laughed along, trying to maintain his composure. “Ah, so ye’re sayin’ it’s all in the size of me… character, is it?”
“Aye, that’s right!” Robb said with a grin. “Best thing about ye, Cregan, is that even if your face don’t make the cut, yer other qualities surely will.”
Cregan shook his head, laughing despite himself. “Well, if it’s me ‘other qualities’ that’ll win her over, then I reckon I’d best be makin’ sure she gets a good look at all of ‘em.”
Jorah slapped him on the back again, nearly sending him reeling. “Look at ye, all flustered! Never thought I’d see the day. Don’t worry, lad. What lass wouldn’t want a strong Northman?”
“Aye, just keep it down a bit, or you’ll have me blushing so hard I’ll be usin’ me face as a lantern” Cregan said, his grin widening.
The friends continued their banter, the atmosphere warm with camaraderie and laughter. As they raised their mugs in a final toast, Cregan felt a renewed sense of anticipation and affection for the future, no matter the teasing jabs from his mates.
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The room was alive with laughter and chatter as Cregan and his friends carried on with their banter. Jorah was in the middle of a lively tale from a recent hunt, while Robb and Gendry argued over the best way to handle a particularly stubborn horse.
The door creaked open, and in walked Lady Gilliane Glover and Lord Rickon Stark, their presence immediately silencing the room. Lady Gilliane, a woman of dignified grace, and Lord Rickon, tall and commanding, made their way over to their son.
“Cregan, me lad!” Lady Gilliane called out, her voice warm but authoritative. “Got a bit o’ news for ye.”
Cregan turned, a smile fading as he saw his parents. He stood, brushing his hands on his tunic. “Mother, Father, what brings ye here?”
Lord Rickon gave a nod, his face a mix of seriousness and pride. “Your brother spotted Y/N’s carriage on the road. They’ll be arrivin’ soon.”
The room quieted, the friends sensing the shift in the mood. Jorah nudged Cregan with a grin. “Looks like the real fun’s about to start, eh?”
Lady Gilliane gave a small, amused smile. “Aye, that’s right. Thought ye’d want to know. They’ll be here within the hour, so best be ready.”
Cregan’s heart raced, and he glanced at his friends, trying to mask his nerves. “Well, no time like the present, I suppose. Best get meself sorted.”
Lord Rickon placed a reassuring hand on Cregan’s shoulder. “Remember, lad, first impressions count. Show her what a proper Stark man ye are.”
“Aye, Father,” Cregan said, nodding. He turned to his friends with a determined look. “Ye lot best behave yerselves when she arrives. Don’t be givin’ her any more trouble than need be.”
The friends raised their mugs, grinning. “Aye, aye, Cregan! We’ll be on our best behavior,” Robb said, winking.
Lady Gilliane’s gaze softened as she looked at her son. “We’ll leave ye to it, then. Just remember, Cregan, she’ll be as nervous as ye, if not more. Show her the warmth of the North.”
As Lady Gilliane and Lord Rickon exited the hall, Cregan took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. The anticipation of meeting Y/N was building with every tick of the clock, and he knew the coming hours would be crucial.
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Y/n sat in the carriage, the stark contrast between the verdant landscapes of Highgarden and the harsh, icy expanse of Winterfell weighing heavily on her. The snow-clad scenery outside felt alien and unwelcoming compared to the lush greenery she had left behind. Each jolt of the carriage seemed to deepen her sense of displacement.
Her mother’s hand, warm and steady, was a source of comfort amid her growing anxiety. Y/N clung to it, drawing solace from its presence as she tried to quell her rising fears.
“We’re almost there, dear” her mother said softly, her voice a gentle balm against the cold atmosphere of the carriage. “Remember, we’re in this together.”
Y/n managed a small, appreciative smile, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Thank you, Mother. It’s just… it’s so different from home.”
Her father, ever the pillar of stoicism, was peering out the window, his gaze fixed on the approaching Winterfell.
The carriage began to slow, the crunch of snow under the wheels signaling their arrival. As they came to a stop, y/n could see her father alighting first, his figure steady and authoritative as he approached Lord Rickon Stark.
“Lord Rickon” her father said, stepping forward with a formal nod. “It is a pleasure to see you again. Thank you for your gracious hospitality.”
Y/n and her mother remained in the carriage, the cold air seeping through the cracks in the doors. Her mother's hand squeezed hers gently, offering a fleeting moment of comfort in the face of her overwhelming anxiety.
"Mother" y/n whispered, her voice trembling. "What if I can't do this? I-I’m scared"
Her mother turned to her, eyes filled with sympathy and understanding. "Oh, my dear, I know it seems daunting. But you have a strength within you that you may not yet realize. You have always been resilient."
Tears welled up in y/n's eyes. "I feel so far from home. Everything here is so cold, so harsh."
Her mother reached up, brushing a tear from
y/n's cheek. "I know, darling. Highgarden's warmth and beauty are hard to leave behind. But you must remember, you have the ability to adapt and thrive. This place will feel like home in time."
Y/n nodded, trying to take comfort in her mother's words, but the knot in her stomach remained tight. "And what of Father? He seems so determined, but... he never cares for how I feel."
Her mother's expression darkened momentarily before she masked it with a gentle smile. "don't let him weigh you down. Focus on yourself and your own strength. You are here to build a new life, and I believe in you."
The carriage door opened, and the cold air rushed in, a stark reminder of the world awaiting her. Her father was already engaged in conversation with Lord Rickon Stark, their voices carrying a tone of formality and mutual respect.
"It's time" her mother said softly, giving y/n's hand one last reassuring squeeze. "Show them the grace and strength you possess. You are more than capable y/n."
With a deep breath, y/n steeled herself and stepped out of the carriage. The cold air bit at her skin, but she walked forward, her mother following closely behind.
Y/n's mother nudged her gently, drawing her attention away from the imposing figure of Lord Rickon. "Y/n, dear" she whispered, "Lord Cregan is approaching you."
Y/n's heart skipped a beat as she turned to see Cregan making his way towards her. He was even taller and more formidable than she remembered, his broad shoulders and strong build making him appear larger than life. She stiffened, her body tensing with apprehension.
Cregan's eyes, a deep and thoughtful blue, met hers as he stopped before her. He could see the trepidation in her gaze, the way her hands clutched the folds of her cloak. Despite the fear evident in her demeanor, she managed to muster a polite greeting.
"Lord Cregan" she said, her voice steady but tinged with a slight tremor. "It is an honor to be here."
Cregan offered a warm smile, though he felt a pang of hurt and self-consciousness at the sight of her fear. He noticed the redness around her eyes, the telltale signs that she had been crying. The realization made his heart ache—she was far from home, surrounded by strangers, and faced with the daunting prospect of marrying him, a man she barely remembered.
"Lady y/n" he responded, his voice gentle. "The honor is mine. Welcome to Winterfell."
Y/n nodded, her posture rigid. "Thank you, my lord."
He could see her struggling to maintain her composure, her attempts to be polite masking the underlying fear and uncertainty. He wanted to reassure her, to tell her that she was safe here with him, but he knew his words might not carry much weight given the circumstances.
"Ye must be tired from yer journey" Cregan said, trying to ease the tension. "I hope the accommodations we’ve prepared for ye are to yer liking."
She glanced around, her eyes briefly meeting his before darting away. "I'm sure they will be, my lord. Thank you."
Cregan's heart softened at her evident discomfort. He could only imagine how overwhelming this experience must be for her—leaving the warmth and familiarity of Highgarden for the cold and formidable North, betrothed to an intimidating stranger.
"Please, if there is anything ye need, do not hesitate to ask," he added, his tone earnest. "I want ye to feel at home here."
Y/N nodded again, her voice barely above a whisper. "Thank you, Lord Cregan."
As the formalities continued, Cregan remained by her side, acutely aware of her apprehension. He could see the way she shivered slightly in the cold, her delicate frame dwarfed by the heavy cloak she wore. The vulnerability in her eyes struck a chord within him, igniting a protective instinct he hadn’t anticipated.
He knew it would take time for her to adjust, to feel comfortable in this new and unfamiliar place. And while her fear and anxiety might hurt him, he understood the reasons behind them. She was far from home, thrust into a situation beyond her control, and he was determined to show her that she had nothing to fear.
As the crowd began to disperse, Cregan leaned in slightly, his voice low and sincere. "I hope ye will come to find Winterfell as welcoming as Highgarden, Lady y/n. We Northerners may seem cold, but we are loyal and true. Ye have my word on that."
Y/n looked up at him, her eyes searching his for a moment before she nodded, a hint of hope mingling with her fear. "…I will do my best."
He smiled softly, hoping to convey his sincerity. "And I will do my best to make this place a home for ye."
With that, they parted, y/n retreating to her quarters with her mother while Cregan watched her go, a mix of emotions churning within him. He was determined to prove himself to her, to show her that beneath his intimidating exterior lay a heart of gold capable of warmth and compassion.
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The day of the wedding arrived, casting a serene hush over Winterfell. The godswood was adorned for the occasion, the ancient weirwood standing sentinel over the ceremony, its pale bark and blood-red leaves seeming to echo the gravity of the moment.
In her chambers, y/n adjusted her maiden’s cloak for the final time. The rich green of House Tyrell’s sigil contrasted sharply with the snowy landscape visible through the window. Her father, though distant and stern, was prepared to escort her. As they approached the godswood, y/n’s heart pounded in her chest, the weight of the moment pressing heavily on her.
Her father’s expression was somber, but he offered her a curt nod, signaling it was time. Together, they walked through the snow, the crunching of their footsteps the only sound breaking the silence. The guests had gathered, their breaths visible in the chill air, and they fell into a hushed reverence as y/n and her father approached the heart tree.
Cregan waited beneath the weirwood, his eyes fixed on the approaching bride. As she neared, his breath caught slightly, a mixture of awe and anticipation in his gaze. The grandeur of y/n’s beauty was amplified by the solemnity of the godswood, her presence seeming almost ethereal in the fading light.
When they reached the base of the tree, Cregan’s voice rang out clearly, cutting through the stillness. “Who comes? Who comes before the gods?”
Y/n’s father’s voice was steady as he replied,
“Y/n of House Tyrell comes here to be wed. A woman grown and flowered, trueborn and noble, she comes to beg the blessings of the gods. Who comes to claim her?”
Cregan’s response was filled with a fervent resolve. “Me, Cregan of House Stark, Lord of Winterfell. I claim her. Who gives her?”
Y/n’s father turned to her, his voice formal but lacking warmth. “I, Henry of House Tyrell, her father, gives her.”
He then addressed y/n, his tone clipped. “Lady y/n, will you take this man?”
Y/n’s voice trembled slightly but was resolute. “I take this man.”
With the formalities completed, Cregan and y/n joined hands and knelt before the weirwood. They bowed their heads, submitting to the gods in silent prayer. The moment was charged with a profound intimacy, the ancient tree bearing witness to their vows.
After a few moments, Cregan gently removed
y/n’s maiden’s cloak, revealing the intricate embroidery of House Tyrell on her dress. With great care, he draped over her shoulders a new cloak—the sigil of House Stark now displayed proudly.
The crowd erupted into applause, their cheers ringing out as Cregan and y/n stood together. The ceremony was complete, the ancient bond of the godswood now symbolizing the beginning of their shared life.
As they walked back towards the castle, Cregan stole glances at y/n, his admiration and anticipation palpable. Despite the harshness of Winterfell’s climate and the gravity of their new life, the day had marked a hopeful new chapter for both of them.
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Y/n's heart pounded as Cregan guided her through the cold, imposing corridors of Winterfell. The castle's heavy stone walls seemed to close in on her, amplifying her sense of isolation. Cregan's presence beside her was both comforting and intimidating, she couldn’t shake the fear that gripped her heart.
They arrived at Cregan's chambers, where a warm fire crackled in the hearth, casting a soft, inviting glow. He gestured for her to enter first, and after a brief hesitation, she stepped inside.
"Please, make yerself comfortable," Cregan said, closing the door behind them. His northern accent was thick, adding a rugged charm to his words. "Would ye like somethin' to drink? A bit o' wine, mayhaps, to help ye warm up?"
Y/n nodded, her voice barely above a whisper. "Yes, thank you."
Cregan poured a glass of wine and handed it to her, his gaze lingering on her as she took a small sip. He could see the tension in her posture and wanted to ease her fears, to show her that he was not the monster she imagined.
"Y/n," he began, his voice low and earnest, the thick accent wrapping each word in a soft embrace, "I know this must be overwhelmin'. I want ye to know that I understand yer fears, and I swear I’ll do everythin' in me power to make ye feel safe and cherished here."
She looked up at him, her eyes wide with a mix of apprehension and curiosity. "Thank you, my lord," she said, her voice quivering. "I… I don't know what to expect."
Cregan took a step closer, his gaze filled with a yearning that spoke of deep emotion. "Ye can call me Cregan" he said, the warmth in his northern accent making his words even more poignant. "And I need ye to hear me now, for it’s somethin’ I’ve carried with me for years. From the moment I first beheld ye, me heart was forever altered."
Y/n's breath hitched, her eyes searching his face for the truth behind his words. Cregan's expression was tender, his gaze reflecting a vulnerability she hadn’t expected. He took a deep breath, as if gathering the courage to bare his soul.
"I remember the first time I saw ye in the gardens of Highgarden," he said softly, his voice weaving a tapestry of emotion. "I was just a lad, new to the beauty of the south. Everythin’ around me was lush and vibrant, but when I saw ye, it was as if my world fell apart. Ye were like a vision of ethereal grace amidst the greenery. The flowers and the trees—they seemed mere shadows compared to ye. In that moment, it was clear that ye were the true beauty of the garden."
Y/n's eyes widened, and a flush of color spread across her cheeks. She could hardly breathe as she processed his confession. "Since then?" she whispered, her voice trembling.
Cregan nodded, his gaze steady and full of longing. "Aye, since then. Ye were a beacon of light in me life, and that memory has lingered, burnin’ bright in me heart. I’ve longed to be near ye, not merely for the sake of duty, but because ye’ve ensnared my heart in a way no one else ever could."
Her heart fluttered wildly at his words, the warmth of the fire mingling with the warmth of his confession. She had always felt like a pawn in her father’s game, never imagining that someone like Cregan could see her so profoundly.
"I didn’t know" she said softly, her voice catching in her throat. "I thought... I thought you would be distant and cold."
Cregan's smile widened, his eyes soft with pure affection. "Aye the North may be cold, but my heart is only filled with warmth for ye. I want ye to see the real me, to know that I am here for ye with all that I am."
She looked into his eyes, seeing a depth of sincerity and yearning that shifted her perception. Perhaps this marriage could be more than a mere alliance. Maybe it could be the beginning of something profoundly beautiful.
"Thank you, Cregan…." she whispered, feeling a newfound sense of calm and hope. "I... I want to try."
Cregan’s smile was full of warmth and relief. "Tha’s all I ask, Y/n. We’ll take this one step at a time, together."
As they stood there, hand in hand, the fire crackling softly in the hearth, Y/n felt a spark of hope ignite in her heart, seeing Cregan in a new light.
Cregan's eyes never left Y/n's as he took a deep breath, his heart pounding in his chest. He wanted this moment to be perfect, to reassure her of his intentions.
"Y/n" he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper, "may I kiss ye?"
Y/n's breath hitched, her cheeks flushing scarlet. She hesitated for a moment, then gave a small nod, her eyes never leaving his. "Yes, Cregan. You may."
Cregan moved closer, his hand gently cupping her cheeks as he leaned in. He pressed his lips to hers in a soft tender, almost hesitant kiss, his touch gentle and reassuring. Y/n responded, her initial nervousness melting away as she felt the warmth and sincerity in his kiss.
When he pulled back, he looked into her eyes, searching for any sign of discomfort. Seeing none, he smiled softly. "Ye're so beautiful, Y/n."
She blushed again, a shy smile tugging at her lips. "Thank you, Cregan."
He took her hand, leading her to the bed. As they stood beside it, he gently picked her up, cradling her in his arms. Y/n gasped softly, her arms instinctively wrapping around his neck as he carried her. He laid her down on the bed with the utmost care, as if she were the most precious thing in the world.
⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:・*❆ ₊⋆ ⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:・*❆ ₊⋆ ⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔
Cregan's gaze remained locked on Y/n’s face, his eyes filled with a deep, reverent admiration. He lowered himself beside her on the bed, his hand still cupping her cheek. “I’ve never seen anyone so beautiful” he whispered, his voice filled with awe. “I can’t believe yer finally mine. My wife.”
Y/n’s heart fluttered at the sincerity in his voice. The way he looked at her made her feel cherished, his admiration lighting a fire within her. Her apprehension melted away as she reached up, cupping his face in return. “And I’m grateful to be yours, Cregan.”
Their lips met again, this time with more fervor. The kiss deepened as Cregan’s hand slid to the back of her neck, pulling her closer. Y/n’s hands roamed over his shoulders, pulling him into the kiss with equal intensity. The warmth of his touch, combined with the gentle urgency of their embrace, made her feel as if she was floating.
Cregan’s breath mingled with hers as he pulled back slightly, his forehead resting against hers. “I’ve wanted this so much” he whispered. “I’ve wanted ye.”
Y/n’s eyes fluttered shut, overwhelmed by the intensity of his gaze and the sincerity of his words. She felt a new, desperate longing surge within her, her body responding to his touch with an eagerness she hadn’t expected. “Please, Cregan” she breathed out, her voice trembling with emotion.
Their lips met again, each kiss more passionate than the last. The world outside seemed to fade away as they lost themselves in the moment, their breaths coming in sync as their yearning for each other deepened with every touch.
Cregan's kisses grew more intense, his touch transforming from gentle caresses to an urgent, burning desire. He pulled back just enough to look into Y/n's eyes, his own dark with passion. "I want to see all of ye, to feel ye" he said softly, his voice rough with need.
With deliberate care, he started to undress, his movements slow and deliberate. He tossed his cloak aside, revealing his strong muscular frame. Y/n's breath caught in her throat as she watched him, his hardened form visible through his small clothes, making her heart race with a mix of anticipation and nervous excitement.
Cregan's hands moved to his shirt, sliding it off with a practiced ease. His gaze remained locked on Y/n as he undressed, his eyes filled with a burning intensity. His hands lingered on the waistband of his smallclothes, his hardness evident and stirring a deep, aching longing within Y/n.
When he was finally freed his cock, Cregan approached Y/n with a tender but determined expression. He reached for her cloak, slipping it off her shoulders and letting it fall to the floor. His fingers moved deftly to her dress, his touch gentle but purposeful as he began to unlace it.
The fabric fell away, revealing her bare chest to his gaze. Cregan's breath caught at the sight, his eyes roaming over her exposed skin with a mixture of reverence and desire.
"Ye're stunning," he whispered, his voice filled with awe. "I want to cherish every part of ye."
Yn's skin tingled under his gaze, her heart pounding as she felt both exposed and cherished.
Cregan's hands continued their exploration, his touch both reverent and possessive. He leaned in to kiss her again, his lips trailing hot, desperate kisses across her neck and shoulders.
His hands roamed over her bare skin, his touch igniting a fierce desire within her. She gasped, her body arching into his touch, as he pressed her into the bed with a controlled but eager force. His kisses became more fervent, his hands gripping her waist as he explored her body with a possessive urgency.
"I've longed for this moment" Cregan said between kisses, his voice rough with need.
Yn responded with equal fervor, her hands gripping his shoulders as she kissed him back with a desperate passion. "Show me, Cregan" she whispered, her voice trembling with emotion.
"Show me how much you want me."
The room was filled with the sounds of their mingled breaths and wet sloppy kisses as they lost themselves in the moment. Cregan's touch was a blend of tenderness and raw desire, each movement and kiss building a profound connection that left them both breathless and yearning for more.
As the kiss deepened, Cregan's touch grew more urgent, his hands roaming over Y/n's body with increasing desperation. His kisses, once tender and exploratory, became more demanding, his breaths ragged as he tried to control his growing desire. Yet, despite the intensity of their embrace, Cregan seemed to hold back, his movements tinged with an inner struggle to remain gentle.
Y/n could sense his restraint and the tension in his body. She was overwhelmed by the fire burning within her, her own desire driving her to push past his tentative touches.
"Cregan" she gasped between kisses, her voice trembling with need. "I want you. I want you to claim me fully."
Cregan's breath hitched, his eyes dark with a mix of surprise and longing. "Y/n... I-I don't want to hurt ye" he murmured, his voice strained as he tried to keep his composure, he promised himself that he would be gentle, only touching her as if she were made of the most delicate glass and now he’d already been more rough than he intended.
But Y/n's voice was resolute, her gaze fixed on him with a desperate intensity. "No, Cregan. I want you to make me yours completely.” She whined, but she saw the look on his eyes he wouldn’t relent unless she pushed him towards his breaking point. “I want you to fuck a baby into me. I need you ple—“
Cregan didn't let you finish. His lips crashed against yours in a kiss that ignited a wildfire within. He held your face tenderly yet firmly, his touch a lifeline as you clung to him, desperate for more. His tongue explored the depths of your mouth, tasting every inch with a hunger that bordered on feral.
The clash of your teeth, the fervor of your kiss, it was a battle, a dance of dominance that you were willing to lose.
Cregan's tongue delved deeper, drawing a breathless moan from you. His scent enveloped you, intoxicating and heady, making your knees buckle with longing. It was as if the tether to your senses was fraying, leaving you to melt into a molten pool beneath his commanding presence.
The heat coursing through your body was a familiar sensation, yet it had never burned this intensely. It surged through you, tightening your nipples and pooling between your thighs, setting every nerve aflame.
Lost in the haze of his searing kisses, you scarcely noticed when he eased your back farther onto the bed, his body a solid, protective weight above you. Your eyes met, a silent conflagration passing between you, before he claimed your lips again with a gentler fervor, the same intensity simmering beneath the surface.
"Do you truly want this? With me?" Cregan's voice was a hushed murmur against your lips, a plea and a promise intertwined.
"Yes, husband" you breathed, the words a vow of your own.
His lips brushed your ear, his breath a tantalizing whisper that sent shivers cascading down your spine. "I am going to make love to ye now."
Your nipples hardened at his words, a raw moan of anticipation escaping your lips as he took in your form, the vulnerable softness of your skin a feast for his hungry gaze.
Cregan lowered his head, his lips tracing a path of fire down your neck, over your collarbone, each kiss a desperate silent vow. His hands followed, exploring, caressing, leaving no inch of you untouched.
"Yer exquisite" he murmured, his voice a reverent whisper against your skin. His touch was a balance of possession and adoration, a worship that left you breathless.
The cool air kissed your overheated skin as he continued to explore you, Every touch, every kiss, was a symphony of sensations, a crescendo of passion that left you aching for more.
his eyes drinking in the sight of you, slowly consumed with lust for him, with a reverence that made your heart stutter. "My wife" he whispered, the words a sacred incantation.
Cregan leaned in, capturing your lips once more in a kiss that was both fierce and possessive. His hands roamed your body with a fervent curiosity, memorizing every curve, every dip, leaving a trail of molten fire in their wake.
Your body responded to him, arching into his touch, a silent plea for more.
His kisses grew more insistent, his touch more demanding, as he made his way down your body. He worshipped you with every kiss, every caress, until you were trembling with need beneath him.
"Cregan," you breathed, your voice a soft plea.
His eyes met yours, dark and intense. "I'm here, Y/n" he murmured, his voice a soothing balm. "I'm here."
Cregan's gaze was fixed on your taut, aching nipples. He wasted no time, his heated mouth enveloping one of your tight, sensitive peaks. You gasped as your back arched in response, the initial shock of his touch quickly melting into a rhythm of pleasure.
Each time his cheeks hollowed as he suckled, your gasps turned to desperate pants, while his fingers teased the other abandoned nipple, pulling and twisting it gently.
Cregan's mouth pulling harder on your nipple, his tongue lavishing attention on the delicate bud. Every flick of his tongue sent waves of sensation through you, stirring a throbbing need between your legs.
The pulsing ache demanded more, and your hand, almost involuntarily, slipped between your thighs. The damp evidence of your desire left you breathless and mortified.
"Show me yer hand" Cregan's voice rumbled, his tone firm.
"It's... it's embarrassing-"
Without hesitation, Cregan parted your thighs and deftly removed your small clothes, leaving you exposed before him. His gaze settled on your glistening core, and a satisfied smile tugged at his lips.
"C-cregan!"
"Y/n" he murmured, his eyes locking onto yours with a mix of adoration and hunger.
"Ye've got the prettiest little cunt."
his words made your entire face burn and turn a dark crimson. The raw honesty in his voice left you breathless, your heart pounding in your chest.
“D-don’t look so closely!”
Without wasting another moment, he lowered his head between your thighs, his hot breath ghosting over your sensitive flesh.
your body trembling with need. When his tongue finally made contact, a moan escaped your lips, your hands gripping the sheets beneath you.
Cregan's tongue moved with practiced skill, each stroke and flick sending waves of pleasure coursing through you. His lips latched onto your clit, sucking gently before releasing it with a soft pop, only to dive back in with renewed fervor.
The lewd slurping sounds filled the room, mixing with your breathless moans and the crackling of the fire.
Your thighs quivered, the sensation of his mouth on you pushing you closer to the edge. "Cregan" you gasped loudly, your voice shaking. "Please, don't stop."
He didn't need to be told twice. His tongue delved deeper, exploring every inch of your soaking wet cunt, his fingers joining in to tease and caress. The combined sensations were overwhelming, your body arching off the bed as you rode the waves of pleasure.
When you finally came, it was with a cry of his name, your body convulsing as the orgasm ripped through you. Cregan didn't relent though, his tongue continuing its relentless assault, lapping up your juices with a moan, prolonging your climax until you were a trembling, breathless mess.
Only then did he pull back, his lips glistening with your arousal, his eyes dark with desire.
He moved up your body, his hands bracing on either side of your head as he leaned down to capture your lips in a searing kiss.
You could taste yourself on his lips, the intimate act deepening the connection between you.
But it still wasn’t enough for you, gathering your courage, you whispered, "Cregan?"
His eyes opened, soft and warm as they met yours. "Aye, love?"
You bit your lip, feeling a flush creep up your cheeks. "Can I... can I touch you?"
A spark of interest flared in his eyes, and he propped himself up on one elbow, looking down at you. "Touch me? Where?" He said teasingly.
You swallowed hard, your gaze dropping to where his cock lay, painfully hard and twitching. "There" you whined softly, reaching out tentatively.
Cregan's lips curved upwards. "Aye, love. Ye can touch me."
Your hand wrapped around his shaft, the heat of him searing your palm. You marveled at the feel of his skin, so smooth and yet so firm beneath your touch. Cregan's breath hitched, his muscles tensing as you explored him.
"Like this?" you asked, looking up at him for guidance.
He nodded, his voice rough with restraint.
"Aye, just like that. A bit firmer, love."
You tightened your grip slightly, your hand moving up and down his length in slow, deliberate strokes. The sight of him, so vulnerable and exposed, filled you with a heady sense of power and intimacy.
Cregan's hand covered yours, guiding your movements. "Tha's it, love. Yer doin' so well" he moaned, his voice laced with praise and pleasure.
As you continued to stroke him, you noticed a bead of precum forming at the tip. The sight of it, glistening and inviting, sparked a boldness within you. You couldn’t help yourself, you leaned forward, your tongue darting out to lick it away. Cregan groaned loudly, his hips bucking
involuntarily at the sensation.
"Fuck! Y/n" he gasped, his hand tightening around yours.
"Do that again."
You obliged, your tongue swirling around the thick head of his cock, tasting the salty essence of him. The act felt both daring and incredibly arousing, each lick eliciting a new sound of pleasure from Cregan.
Encouraged by his response, you took him deeper into your mouth, your lips closing around his shaft as you began to bob your head.
You were still unaccustomed to his size though, what you couldn’t fit in your mouth you stroked with your hand.
Cregan's hand tangled in your hair, guiding your movements as you pleasured him.
"Ye're so fuckin’ good to me, love" he groaned, his voice thick with need. "So perfect."
The praise spurred you on, your pace quickening as you took him deeper, your hand stroking the base of his cock in time with your movements. Cregan's breaths grew ragged, his body tense with the effort to hold back.
When he finally came, it was with a guttural moan, his release bursting in your mouth.
You swallowed eagerly, wanting to take all of him, to show him the same pleasure he had given you.
As you pulled back, you looked up at him, your eyes wide and full of adoration.
Cregan's chest heaved, his eyes glazed with satisfaction as he pulled you into his arms, his lips capturing yours in a searing kiss.
But the night was far from over and the hunger in his eyes told you he was far from satisfied. You felt a renewed wave of desire wash over you, your body eager for more of him.
"Are ye ready for more, love?" he asked, his voice husky with desire. His hand trailed down your body, caressing your breasts and waist, finally coming to rest between your legs.
His fingers teased your wetness, a satisfied smile tugging at his lips. "Yer so wet for me."
You nodded, your breath hitching as he continued to stroke you. "Yes, Cregan. I want you. I want you to take me."
His eyes darkened with a primal need, and he positioned himself between your legs, spreading them wide. "I'll be gentle at first, love," he promised, guiding his cock to your entrance.
"But I won't be able to hold back for long."
You felt the tip of his cock pressing against you, and your heart raced with anticipation.
He pushed forward slowly, entering you with a smooth, deliberate motion. The sensation was overwhelming, a mix of pleasure and painful sting as he stretched you to accommodate his large size.
Cregan's eyes never left yours, his gaze filled with love and desire. "Yer so tight, love. So perfect" he groaned, pushing deeper until he was fully seated inside you.
The feeling of being completely filled by him was indescribable, a blend of fullness and heat that made you gasp. "Cregan," you moaned, your hands clutching at his shoulders.
He began to move, his thrusts slow and gentle at first, allowing you to adjust to the sensation. But as your moans grew louder and your hips began to move in time with his, his restraint faltered. His pace quickened, each thrust deeper and harder than the last.
"You feel so good, Y/n," he growled, his voice rough with need. "I can't hold back any longer."
You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer as he pounded into you.
The force of his thrusts drove you higher, making the bed hit the walls roughly, a testament to how greedily he was fucking into you.
Cregan shifted his position, lifting your legs higher and pressing them against your chest. The new angle allowed him to penetrate you even deeper, and you screamed his name as he took you harder.
"That's it, love. Take all of my cock," he urged, his eyes locked on your face, watching your every reaction.
The pressure built within you, the pleasure mounting to an unbearable peak. With a final, powerful thrust, you shattered, your orgasm crashing over you in waves. Your body convulsed around him, gripping his cock as he continued to drive into you.
Cregan was relentless, his own release building. He flipped you onto your stomach, pulling you onto your hands and knees. He entered you from behind, his hands gripping your hips as he pounded into you with abandon.
"Fuck, Y/n" he groaned, his voice a rough whisper. "I'm gonna fill ye up. Every last drop."
Cregan's movements became more erratic as he neared his release, his breathing heavy and labored. You could feel the tension building within him, every muscle in his body coiling tighter and tighter. His thrusts grew deeper, more powerful, and you knew he was close.
With a final, powerful thrust, Cregan's hips stilled, pressing deep inside you. His entire body tensed, and he let out a loud, guttural groan, his face contorted in pleasure. You could feel the hot rush of his cum filling you, pulse after pulse, more than you had ever imagined. The sheer volume of it overwhelmed you, a torrent of heat flooding your insides.
"Fuck, Y/n," he groaned, his voice rough with satisfaction. "Take all of it. Every last drop."
He held himself inside you for a moment longer, his cock throbbing with each spurt of cum. Then, slowly, he began to pull out, the sensation almost too much to bear. As he withdrew, you felt a gush of his cum ooze out of you, warm and thick.
Cregan watched, mesmerized, as his release leaked from your entrance. The sight seemed to ignite something primal in him, and he quickly brought his fingers to your dripping core. He gently pushed two fingers inside you, making sure to plug the flow.
"Can't let it go to waste" he murmured, his voice a mix of possessiveness and tenderness. "Want every drop to stay inside ye."
His fingers moved within you, ensuring his cum was thoroughly spread.
You felt another wave of pleasure as he gently massaged your sensitive walls, the sensation of being so full and claimed by him overwhelming you. Cregan leaned down, kissing the small of your back, his breath warm against your skin. "Yer mine, Y/n. All mine," he whispered, his fingers still inside you, holding his seed in place.
You lay there, breathless and trembling, feeling utterly claimed and cherished by him.
Cregan slowly withdrew his fingers, ensuring that every drop of his cum remained inside you. He gently flipped you onto your back, his eyes filled with an intensity that made your heart race.
As he settled beside you, his strong arms wrapped around your body, pulling you close. His warmth enveloped you, a comforting contrast to the cool air of the room.
He pressed his lips to your forehead, a tender kiss that lingered. Then, he moved to your cheeks, planting soft, loving kisses on each one. His lips brushed your nose, and then he found your lips, kissing you with a gentleness that was almost reverent.
"Y/n" he murmured between kisses, his voice filled with emotion. "I'm so glad ye're mine."
You felt a swell of affection in your chest, the sweetness of his words and the tenderness of his touch filling you with a profound sense of belonging. You wrapped your arms around him, holding him close as he continued to kiss you.
Cregan's kisses were endless, each one a declaration of his love and devotion. He kissed your eyelids, your temples, your jawline, and your chin, his lips exploring every inch of your face with a loving intensity that made you feel cherished beyond measure.
"You're so beautiful," he whispered, his breath warm against your skin. "So perfect. I want to spend every moment of our lives together, showing ye how much I adore ye."
He held you tighter, his hands stroking your hair, your back, your sides. His touch was soothing, a balm to your still-racing heart.
The rough, demanding lover from moments ago was now a gentle giant, cradling you in his arms with infinite care.
Cregan pulled back slightly, his eyes searching yours. "Are ye alright, love?" he asked, his voice soft with concern. "Did I hurt ye?"
You shook your head, smiling up at him. "No, Cregan. You were perfect. I'm more than alright."
His expression softened even further, a look of relief washing over his face. "Good," he whispered, pressing another kiss to your lips. "I'll always take care of ye, Y/n. Always."
You nestled closer to him, resting your head on his broad chest. The rhythmic beat of his heart was a comforting lullaby, and you felt a deep sense of contentment wash over you.
A red rose grew up out of ice frozen ground with no one around to see it. The thought lingered in your mind, a symbol of the unexpected beauty and love that had blossomed between you.
Cregan continued to kiss you, his lips never straying far from your skin, as he held you in a protective, loving embrace.
In that moment, you knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, you would face them together. Cregan's sweet, endless kisses and his tender words were a promise of a future filled with love, passion, and unwavering devotion.
⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:・*❆ ₊⋆ ⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔*:・*❆ ₊⋆ ⋆꙳•❅*°⋆❆.ೃ࿔
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lavenderangeltarot · 18 days ago
Text
𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝑜𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝓈' 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹 𝑒𝓃𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓃𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒶𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝒶𝓅𝓅𝑒𝒶𝓇𝒶𝓃𝒸𝑒 🪞🪷✩ // pick a card!
hey angels! 👼🏼 this will be a general pick a card reading on what people find enchanting about your appearance/how people view your appearance (physically & generally- usually these things naturally overlap). It's of course, not healthy to fixate on these things, however I think it can be uplifting to hear the nice things people might've thought of us. It's natural to be a bit curious! Pick the image you're most drawn to, proceed to your reading & take what resonates! If you're interested in a personal reading from me, check out my Etsy Store :) // https://www.etsy.com/shop/LavenderAngelTarot
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#1 #2 #3
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#1 - the Moon, Page of Swords & Knight of Wands 🌙
With the Moon card coming out first, I see people being heavily captivated by a sense of mystery surrounding you- you come across as introverted or at least, initially reserved. In your presence people are not so sure what you are thinking, but your demeanour remains peaceful and possibly very feminine. Dreamy & vaguely moody too, but with the Moon card it's like everything is a little concealed. I think for some of you, people can sense you're going through something heavy right now too since the Moon relates to psychological turmoil in some cases, but you hold yourself very gracefully. Physically I feel like you have very immediately pleasant features, people might find there's this 'beautiful darkness' to you- maybe some of you dress in a sort of gothic inspired aesthetic, or perhaps it's this mysterious/contemplative look in your eye.
With the Page of Swords (especially combined with the Moon) people immediately see you as intelligent. Very sharp minded and skilled at communicating (even if you're not a big talker, your speech or vocabulary is clear). Since in this reading we're focusing on appearance, despite the softness illustrated with the Moon card, you may also have some features that are slightly sharper. Like for example, having a very soft, rounded face but a sharp/edgy haircut, or piercings. Pages are also associated with youth, so people may see you as youthful in your appearance. A lot of you who picked this pile are very young too I'm getting- not sure if it's the reading, or just me talking but I have this urge to remind you guys to be safe online!
Finally, the Knight of wands to me shows that people see you as healthy, athletic or just generally physically capable & attractive! You may look strong or agile- I'm getting some of you are dancers (or you look like you would dance, especially ballet!). Despite your calm, intellectual energy, you come across like you live a very active and adventurous lifestyle in some way. I also see that while you might not lead with it when you meet people (initially people noticing that mysterious, intellectual, perhaps shy aspect of you)- you have a very spontaneous and passionate nature that people reallyy love :)
2# - 3 of Pentacles, The Star, 9 of Wands 🌿
Immediately, this group is really emanating 'it girl' energy to me.
With the 3 of Pentacles, I see people being quite in awe of you and viewing you as a very hardworking, competent person. You inspire others in some way, people feel they have something to learn from you. Since the 3 of Pentacles is traditionally related to collaboration & learning, you could be someone who's always around other people, or maybe are a positive representation of your school/work out in public (like for example, often being out and about in your uniform, or being seen as part of a collective like a band or a certain friend group). Appearance wise, to me the 3 of Pentacles feels as though there is something artistic & skillful about your appearance- maybe you're really skilled at makeup, or your clothing is very beautiful and well coordinated.
The Star card speaks for itself! You stand out appearance-wise and garner attention whether you realise it or not! The Star card to me, especially combined with the 3 of Pentacles tells me that you inspire people a lot with your appearance alone but also in other ways. People feel there is something aspirational and 'untouchable' about you- it's sort of Gossip Girl 'Serena Van Der Woodsen' adjacent lol. Again, it could be that there's something about the way you dress that's very skillful and others are in awe of, it could also be that you're very popular or seem as though you would be from the way you carry yourself. A lot of you are very talented or just 'different' in some way and people notice that. (I wish I could specify a bit more but since it's a general reading it could be a variety of reasons people view you this way, follow your gut) :)
The 9 of Wands to me shows that you come across brave and ready for anything, very resilient. Maybe slightly wary or mistrusting too. It also shows that people can tell you're tired/exhausted- not necessarily in a bad way but it's like people can sense in the way you carry yourself that you're trying to keep strong despite struggles you are facing. Maybe you're not getting as much sleep as you need, or just work super hard. For some of you, it's as though people can sense in your expressions/posture/etc that despite being this abundant, inspiring person; you're not totally happy right now and there's something or many things getting to you. I see for some, what's going on is that you have a lot of expectations on you to be this 'perfect', skilled, hardworking, 'golden girl/boy' aspirational person and it is wearing you out deep down. I definitely do see things getting smoother for you with time 🤍
#3 - King of Cups, The Chariot, The Hierophant 🌊
The King of Cups as the first card tells me that you appear to people as somebody who is very in touch with their feelings & emotionally authentic. I don't see an obnoxious person who is always bawling their eyes out (lol), but I see someone who is very warm, welcoming and jovial. When you laugh, you laugh for real. When you smile, it is genuine and sweet. You may not always feel relaxed, but overall you do come across as a very relaxed and mature person and it's really attractive to people. The way you move could be very flow-y and sensual, you might prefer to wear flowing fabrics/styles rather than stiff or sharp ones. Whatever your age or gender is, I see you also come across very parental in the sense that people immediately feel they can trust you, like you're the person a little kid would want to come up to for help if they were lost 🥹
The Chariot tells me that something about the way you appear has a very positive and change-agent energy about it. It could be that you dress very bohemian, or wear very bright colours, or perhaps you do something different with your hair that really subverts expectations and inspires positivity in others. It's as though you stand for something- a certain cause or mentality that shines through in your demeanour. You come across very confident in your style, who you are and what you stand for- you're not afraid to look unique or be 'over the top' and that really makes people happy to see whether you notice it or not! As though you're the one person who wears a beautiful colourful dress/shirt in a sea of people wearing black and grey + looking 'done' with life. Again I'm seeing that the way you move stands out as attractive! While many walk kinda sluggish & dispassionately, you have a bit of a spring in your step, or appear very in command and in tune with your body.
Finally, The Hierophant tells me that you appear spiritual, religious or just having a very strong moral conviction in some way to others. For some of you it could be your facial expressions & the way you react to your environment that leads people to think this. For others, it's more overt things like perhaps adorning yourself in religious or spiritual symbols. The Hierophant also speaks of traditionalism, so you could be someone who prefers slightly more traditional dress styles and values in a way- for a lot I'm seeing dressing in vintage fashion :)
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Thankyou !! 💞🔮
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reidsfilm · 6 months ago
Text
UNDERCOVER — SPENCER REID
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dividers credit: cafekitsune.
PARING: spencer reid x fem reader
WARNINGS: crime, blood, spencer being overprotective, (normal warnings in the series) innuendo to spicy time, physical fight, spencer from season 10, hotch and derek being cheeky fuckers, fluff, a bit of angst.
SUMMARY: SUMMARY: You and Spencer are undercover on a case, acting as a couple. When you stray from the original plan, it leads to danger and ends up with your friendship with Spencer being much more than just that.
WORD COUNT : 6,7k
Notes: English is not my first language, so bear with me. There might be spelling mistakes here and there. I need to start watching Criminal Minds. This isn't proofread!
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It had started as a normal case. An unsub had been killing women, taking and leaving behind pieces of themselves. You and Reid had been assigned to go undercover in a bar at night to get any possible leads. You were a couple.
And now here you were, sitting at a table in the bar, your legs crossed and head resting gently in your hand. You weren't actually dating. Not at all. Just working together.
Spencer had a hand on your knee, gently tracing small circles with his thumb as he kept an eye on the patrons in the area.
You glanced around the bar, feeling Spencer's touch on your knee. You tried to remain in the undercover character you had created, sipping your drink and feigning being interested in the people around you. It was hard when Spencer was so close to you, but he made you feel protected, even if it was only for a case.
The bar was bustling around you, music playing in the background while people chatted, laughed, danced, and drank. Spencer’s thumb gently tracing circles on your thigh sent a flutter of butterflies to your stomach. It was always like this when the two of you were on a case. It was always so.. different, but no matter what, you trusted him, especially when he got to show his protective side.
You glanced sidelong at Spencer, noticing the small pout that had formed on his lips as he looked around the room. He always wore that expression when he was lost in thought. It was kind of adorable how focused he got. He didn't seem to notice that he was still tracing circles on your thigh, his hand resting there like it was natural. But to you, god it felt like your skin was on fire by his touch.
You continued to watch him, admiring the intensity of his gaze as his eyes scanned the room for any suspicious activity. You knew he was focusing on the case, that was obvious, but as his hand continued to caress your skin beneath the table.. it was becoming increasingly difficult to keep up the act. Why did he have to be so good with his hands?
Spencer suddenly tensed up, his grasp on your knee growing firmer as he spotted something on the other side of the room. He leaned a little closer to you, his breath warm against your ear as he spoke in a low voice. "Someone is watching us. Don't turn around."
Your heart skipped a beat. His closeness alone sent a shiver down your spine, but hearing his voice in your ear? It was almost too much. You struggled to keep your cool as you casually took another sip from your drink, resisting the urge to turn and see who was watching you.
He moves even closer to you, his hand still firmly on your knee. He was acting so casual as if he didn't notice the effect he was having on you. How unfair.
Spencer noticed the shudder that ran through you as he leaned closer. For a moment, he almost forgot about the case at hand as he took in the sight of you struggling to remain collected. He was tempted to tease you for it, but he knew there were more pressing matters. He let out a shaky breath before whispering to you again. "They're coming closer. Stay calm."
Spencer's hold on your knee tightened as he saw the figure approaching your table. You could feel him tense up beside you, his hand remaining a steady presence against your leg. As the person drew closer, you could see that it was a man, tall, with a sinister smile on his face.
He stopped at your table, his eyes flickering between you and Spencer. "Well, well, well. Aren't you two a lovely couple?"
Spencer forced a polite smile, his grip on your knee growing tighter. He could practically feel your anxiety radiating off you, matching his own. This wasn't good. The man's comment had set off alarm bells in his mind. This guy was definitely the unsub.
"Thanks," he replied, feigning nonchalance. "We like to think we make a good pair."
The unsub's gaze lingered on you, his eyes roaming over your body in a way that made Spencer's blood boil. But he kept his cool, knowing that any overt display of jealousy might give away your cover. He leaned slightly in front of you, almost as if he was trying to shield you from the unsub's leering eyes.
The unsub chuckled, clearly enjoying the situation. "You two look so cozy together. How long have you been a couple?"
Spencer's jaw clenched, but he managed to maintain his facade of calmness. He wanted nothing more than to deck this guy, but instead, he chose his words carefully. "Oh, we've been together for a few months now," he said smoothly, his hand rubbing small circles on your leg again.
The unsub's smile widened, clearly finding some sick amusement in this situation. "Well, isn't that just adorable," he cooed, taking a step closer. "You seem very much.. in love."
Spencer suppressed a scoff, his hand clenching into a fist under the table. He would have liked nothing more than to wipe that smug look off the man's face.
You did your best to maintain a calm and cool demeanor despite the growing sense of unease. The unsub's presence was making your skin crawl, but with Spencer's hand resting on your leg and his protective stance, you remained collected.
"He makes me very happy," you said in a soft voice, glancing at Spencer with a smile that was half-genuine, half-act. "I'm a lucky girl."
The unsub's expression turned almost predatory at your comment. "Oh, I bet he does."
Spencer's eyes narrowed as the unsub leered at you, his grip on your leg growing firmer. He forced himself to remain civil, knowing that one wrong move could compromise the entire operation. But it was difficult, especially when he could see how uncomfortable and uneasy this whole situation was making you.
The unsub leaned closer, eyeing you up and down like you were a piece of meat. "He better treat you right," he almost purred. "A pretty thing like you deserves it."
Spencer bristled beside you, his jaw clenching as he bit back a scathing remark. The unsub's leering made him sick, and knowing he couldn't confront the guy outright drove him crazy. He wanted to punch the bastard's lights out, but that would definitely blow your cover.
The unsub smirked, clearly noticing the change in Spencer's demeanor. "Oh, don't like me commenting on your girl." He chuckled. "A little possessive, are we?"
Spencer couldn't hold back any longer.
"Yeah, I am." The words came out through gritted teeth, his hand instinctively rubbing your leg in a possessive gesture. He knew he was letting his emotions get the better of him, but he couldn't help it. Seeing this creep ogling you was driving him mad.
The unsub chuckled again, clearly amused by Spencer's reaction. "Careful now, pretty boy. Wouldn't want to do something you'll regret."
Spencer clenched his jaw tighter, his knuckles turning white as he held back a torrent of profanities. Seeing the unsub taunt him and openly flirt with you was pushing him to the edge. He was about to snap.
Suddenly, as if on cue, Hotch's voice came through your earpieces. "Keep it cool, guys. We've got eyes on you. Don't let him get to you."
Spencer closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep, slow breath to try and regain control. Listening to Hotch's calm but stern voice cut through the tension, reminding him that they needed to keep their cover intact.
Knowing that the team was watching and they had your backs helped to settle the nerves, but the unsub's unsettling presence was still making your skin crawl. And Spencer's obvious tension only heightened the situation.
Meanwhile, the unsub continued to leer at you and Spencer, enjoying the way he was clearly getting to him.
Spencer was trying to regain his composure. He let out a slow breath, his hand still gripping your knee like a vice, but he was clearly struggling to rein in his emotions. Despite his efforts to appear calm, it was obvious to everyone listening through the earpiece that he was on the verge of exploding.
The unsub, of course, noticed this and seemed to relish the power he had over Spencer. He chuckled again, relishing in his ability to provoke a reaction. "Looks like I hit a nerve."
You did your best to maintain a cool facade, plastering on a polite smile as you spoke. "Yeah, my man can get a little overprotective," you said with a laugh, trying to keep your voice light and casual. "It's kind of sweet, really."
You cast a glance at Spencer, hoping he would pick up the hint and reign in his emotions a bit. But with the way his jaw was clenched, it was like trying to tame a lion with a collar.
The unsub snorted, clearly not buying your attempts to downplay the situation. "Overprotective, huh?"
Spencer's grip on your knee grew even tighter, his knuckles white as he tried not to snap. But the unsub's words and the way he was still eyeing you were only fueling the fire.
A thought suddenly flashed through your mind. An idea. A dangerous one, and definitely against protocol, but you were certain you could handle it. You had to let Spencer know, somehow.
You reached down and gently placed your hand over his, giving it a subtle squeeze, hoping he'd pick up on the cue. Then, as casually as possible, you turned to glance at him. "Baby, I need to use the ladies' room, I'll be right back."
Spencer tensed up even more as you spoke, his eyes flicking to you with a mixture of disbelief and concern. He knew you well enough to know when you had a plan. And Spencer had a bad feeling about this one.
He caught the subtle squeeze of your hand, and the tone in your voice when you spoke to him. Danger, danger, danger. He wanted to protest, to tell you not to go alone, not to put yourself in danger, but you were already standing up and heading towards the bathroom.
You could feel Spencer's eyes on you as you made your way towards the bathroom, the unsub also watching you leave with a leering gaze. You maintained your calm demeanor, but your heart was racing inside. This was dangerous and stupid, but you were certain you could handle it. Hell, Spencer would probably kick your ass after this, but as long as it got the job done...
You reached the restroom door and pushed it open, stepping inside the dimly lit space.
As the door closed behind you, the sound seemed to echo in your ears. You took a deep breath, pushing aside the nerves and reminding yourself that you were trained for this. You could do this.
You glanced at the mirror above the sink, taking a moment to check your reflection. It was still you, same facade, same expression. But there was a flicker of determination in your eyes, something that hadn't been there before. You were ready.
"What are you doing?"
Damn, you'd almost forgotten about the earpiece. But Hotch's voice snapped you back to reality. He'd seen you stand up and walk to the bathroom, and you could sense his concern through the comm link.
"I have a plan." You muttered, your voice barely above a whisper as you stepped further into the bathroom.
There was a brief pause before Hotch's response came through the earpiece. "What kind of plan?"
You could practically feel the disapproval in his voice. But you'd already made up your mind.
"I'm going to try and detain him."
Another pause, longer this time, as Hotch processed what you'd just said. You could almost see the disapproving look on his face. "That's not within protocol," he replied, his tone stern. You know you should wait for further instructions, for backup. But you were set on your plan, no matter how much trouble it would end up getting you in.
"I know," you admitted, your voice still hushed. You stepped over to the sink, pretending to fix your hair in the mirror as you continued your conversation. "But it's the best shot we have at him without causing a scene."
"You're putting yourself in danger," Hotch protested, his voice tight with concern. "We can't risk-"
You interrupted him, your voice firm. "I can handle myself. Just trust me, okay?"
The comm line fell silent for a moment as Hotch considered your request. Trust was a big thing in the BAU, and he knew you well enough to know that you weren't one to take unnecessary risks. But you were determined, and he wasn't about to stop you.
"Be careful," he said after a moment, the hint of reluctance still present in his tone.
"Always am," you replied with a hint of a smirk, your voice regaining some of its usual confidence. The nerves were still there, but you pushed them aside. Time to focus.
"Keep an eye on Spencer, would you? I don't want him charging in here like a bull."
You could hear a huff of amusement through the earpiece as Hotch replied, "I'll try. You know how he is."
You couldn't help but chuckle softly, knowing full well how protective Spencer could be. But you had a job to do, and you needed to remain focused.
"I'll report in once I got him cornered. Wish me luck."
With that, you pulled off the earpiece, not wanting to draw attention to yourself with any potential noises. This was it. Time to see if your plan would work or blow up in your face.
You took one last deep breath, steeling yourself for what was to come. You'd taken care of dangerous suspects before, this was no different. At least, that's what you told yourself.
You reached a hand down to your hip, making sure the small handgun was still secure in its holster. Just in case. Now, all that was left to do was wait and see if the unsub would take the bait.
You stood at the sink for a few moments, fidgeting with your makeup and waiting for any sound that would indicate the unsub was coming. Your heart beat anxiously in your chest, the anticipation growing with each passing second.
Then, you heard the sound of the bathroom door opening and the scrape of shoes on the tiled floor. It was him.
You turned around slowly, forcing a casual expression onto your face. He stood a few feet away, a smirk on his lips as he regarded you. He looked more sinister now, without the cover of the restaurant between you.
"Well, look who we have here," he drawled, his voice sending a shiver down your spine. He took a step closer, his gaze roaming over your body in a way that made your skin crawl.
"Just needing a little touch-up time," you replied, trying to keep your voice light and unbothered. You leaned back against the sink, trying not to flinch as he closed the distance between you.
"Yeah? I think you look perfect to me." He was standing way too close now, his body practically pressed against yours. You could smell the alcohol on his breath and it took everything you had to maintain your composure.
You tried to subtly shift away from him, your heart racing as your back pressed against the cold porcelain of the sink. Your hand casually reached back, fingers inching closer to the gun hidden at your hip.
He seemed to notice your subtle movement and leaned in closer, his gaze flickering down to your hip. "Whatcha got there?" he asked, his voice a low, mocking whisper.
Your heart was hammering against your ribs now, but you tried to keep your voice steady. "What do you mean?" you feigned ignorance, hoping he wouldn't notice the way your palm was slowly closing around the grip of the handgun.
He leaned in even closer, his face just inches from yours. "Don't play dumb. I know you're hiding something." he reached out, his fingers ghosting along the edge of your hip, dangerously close to your gun.
You froze as his fingers brushed against your hip, adrenaline coursing through your veins. It was now or never. You had to act fast.
In a swift, fluid motion, you grabbed his hand and spun him around, pinning his arm behind his back and pushing him against the wall. The sudden movement surprised him, and he let out a grunt of surprise as his face pressed against the cold tiles.
The element of surprise gave you the upper hand for now, but you knew he was still dangerous. "You've got some skills," he grunted, a hint of anger in his voice as he tried to twist out of your grip.
You pushed him harder against the wall, applying even more pressure to his arm. He grunted again, unable to move. "And you talk too much," you retorted, keeping your voice steady despite the adrenaline coursing through you.
You could hear his breathing getting faster, his body tense as he tried to break free. "You think you've got me cornered, huh?" he spat. "You're not the first agent to underestimate me."
"I think I've got you right where I want you," you replied, your grip on his arm tightening. You could feel his muscles straining under your grasp, but he was still pinned against the wall.
Suddenly, he let out a dark chuckle, the sound sending a chill down your spine. "And what makes you think I'm alone?"
Your heart skipped a beat at his words. "What do you mean?" You demanded, your voice steady but your mind racing with the implications of his words. Was he implying that there were more people involved? People who were never mentioned in the case?
"Oh, you really think it's just me in on this?" He twisted his head to look at you, a sly smile on his lips. Despite the situation, he seemed to be enjoying this. "You've been too busy watching me, you didn't even spot the two guys outside."
Your fingers closed around the familiar grip of your gun, heart thundering in your chest as the man advanced towards you. You could hear more gunshots and commotion coming from outside, but that didn't matter right now. You had to focus on staying alive.
And take this man down.
You tried to back away, your back hitting the wall behind you as the unsub stepped closer to you, his gaze locked on yours. "Think you can shoot me, sweetheart?"
Your finger rests on the trigger, ready to shoot if needed. But the unsub is faster than you, managing to grab your gun, and it goes off, sending a bullet into the mirror by the sink, shattering it.
he sudden sound of the gunshot and shattering mirror jarred you, but you fought back against him, your adrenaline kicking into overdrive. You cursed the fact that you were wearing heels, the thin stilettos making it difficult to keep your balance.
You threw a punch, aiming for his face, but he caught your wrist, and the fight turned into a grappling struggle for the gun.
You could feel your heart sink as the gun skidded away from you, the sound of it hitting the tiled floor echoing in your ears like a bad omen. The unsub noticed it too, a victorious glint in his eyes as he took a step back from you.
"Looks like you're out of weapons," he jeered, his voice low and mocking.
You looked around, trying to think quickly. You were outnumbered, unarmed, and trapped in a confined space. The odds were not in your favor, but you refused to give up.
You took a step back, putting some distance between you and the unsub as you scanned the small bathroom for anything that could be used as a weapon. There wasn't much – a few toiletries, a paper towel dispenser, nothing that would be much use against a man twice your size.
The unsub's gaze was on you like a hawk, following your every movement. "Where you think you're going, pretty girl?" he taunted, moving forward slowly, his footsteps echoing loudly in the small space. "You're not gonna get away that easily."
With no chance of running or finding another weapon, you were left with no choice. You clenched your fists, readying yourself for a physical confrontation. You hated hand-to-hand combat, it was never your strong suit, but you had to make do.
"Bring it, buddy," you taunted, trying to sound braver than you felt.
The unsub chuckled at your challenge, stepping closer again. "You've got spirit, I'll give you that," he said, his eyes scanning your form up and down. "But you're way in over your head."
He lunged forward, his hand shooting out to grab you. You managed to dodge the first attempt, twisting your body away from his reach, but he was quick and relentless. He kept coming at you, his movements swift and fluid, like a snake.
You threw a punch, aiming for his face, but he dodged it with ease, his hand catching your wrist and yanking you to the side. You stumbled, the heel of your shoe catching on the edge of a tile. You barely managed to keep your balance, your heart hammering in your chest.
You gasped as he grabbed a handful of your hair and slammed you into the edge of the sink. The impact sent a sharp pain through your skull, making your vision swim for a moment. You tried to fight him off, but he had an iron grip on your hair, keeping you pinned.
The sudden sound of the door crashing open and the sight of your teammates appearing in the doorway sent a wave of relief through you. Hotch, Derek, and even Spencer, all holding their service weapons at the ready.
The unsub's grip on your hair loosened slightly, his eyes wide with surprise at the unexpected arrival. For a moment, it seemed like the tables had turned.
Derek quickly assessed the situation, his eyes scanning over the scene in front of him – you, pinned against the sink, the unsub's hand in your hair, the shattered mirror, and the gun lying just out of reach on the floor.
"You wanna let her go, pal?" he barked, his voice hard and unwavering.
Hotch's gaze fell on you, his eyes instantly locking onto the blood dripping down your face. Concern flashed across his features for a brief moment before he schooled his expression back into his usual stoic demeanor.
"Let go of her," he repeated Derek's command, his voice firm and commanding. "Now."
The unsub didn't move, his eyes darting around the room, calculating his options. But his grip on you loosened as he realized he was outnumbered. He released your hair, his hand dropping away from your scalp.
"Hands on your head," Hotch barked, stepping forward. Derek moved in as well, his gun still raised and aimed directly at the unsub.
Spencer lingered by the doorway, eyes wide and worried as he took in your injured state.
The unsub complied, raising his hands slowly and placing them on the back of his head. He looked resigned, his earlier bravado replaced with a resigned acceptance that he was outnumbered and outgunned.
"Turn around slowly," Hotch instructed, his voice leaving no room for argument. The unsub obeyed, turning slowly to face the wall, his hands still on his head.
Within seconds, Derek had him restrained, his hands cuffed behind his back. Hotch holstered his gun and moved swiftly towards you, Spencer right behind him.
Hotch stepped closer, his eyes scanning over you. His hand reached up to gently cup your chin, tilting your face to the side to examine your face, and the blood trickling down the side.
"How bad is it?" he asked, his voice surprisingly gentle.
Spencer, lingering at Hotch's side, leaned in closer, concern etched in his features. "Does it feel swollen? Are you dizzy?" he rattled off, his usual rambling coming in rapid-fire.
"I'm okay," you assured them, though you leaned slightly into Hotch's touch. Your head throbbed, the adrenaline from the fight starting to wear off.
Hotch gently released your chin, his fingers still lingering near your injury for a moment longer. "We need to get that cleaned up," he said, gesturing to your temple.
Spencer had already taken a handkerchief out of his pocket, gently dabbing at the blood The white cotton quickly stained red as he cleaned the blood away.
"You'll probably need stitches," he commented, his fingers gently prodding the edges of the wound.
The sounds of your teammates clearing the scene faded into the background, leaving you alone with Spencer in the now-silent bathroom. The adrenaline was quickly being replaced by the pain from your injuries, but it was his silence that was unnerving you more than anything
Spencer was focused on cleaning the blood from your face, his touch gentle but his expression unreadable. He didn't say a word, just continued his work silently, but you could tell he was tense, his jaw set in a firm line.
Once he was satisfied that the wound was clean, he finally spoke, breaking the tense silence. "You should've waited for backup," he said, his voice cold and clipped.
He kept his gaze focused on the cut, refusing to meet your eyes. "We could've taken care of this without you getting hurt," he added, his tone bordering on accusation.
"I had it under control," you protested, but even as you said the words, you knew they weren't entirely true. You'd acted impulsively, putting yourself in danger just to prove a point.
Spencer's hands stilled, finally meeting your eyes, his gaze burning with a mix of anger and worry. "Under control? You're bleeding. You could've been killed." His voice was a growl, his frustration palpable.
He looked at you, his eyes searching your face, as if he was trying to see past your bravado and into your true state of mind.
"You can't just throw yourself into danger like that," he said, his voice softer now but firm. "We have protocols for a reason."
"I know we have rules and protocols, but sometimes situations don't allow us the luxury of following them," you muttered, your stubbornness rearing its head even in your injured state. "I didn't feel like I had a choice."
Spencer's grip on your head tightened for a moment, his jaw clenching as he fought back a more heated retort. He exhaled through his nostrils, his frustration clear.
"There's always a choice," he argued, his voice a low growl. "You just took the most reckless one."
Spencer's eyes flicked over your face, lingering on the gash on your temple for a moment before moving down to your lips. The atmosphere was thick with the kind of tension familiar to both of you, leading to late nights and whispered secrets.
"You don't get to throw yourself into danger like that and expect me not to worry," he nearly hissed.
He was standing close, his body practically leaning over you as he tended to your wound. His hands were still on your face, one gently holding the side of your head while the other held the handkerchief against your skin.
As he spoke, you could feel his breath, warm against your cheek. "Don't do that again," he said, his voice dropping to a whisper. "Don't make me worry like that."
"I can't promise that I won't get myself into dangerous situations," you said quietly, your eyes meeting his stare. "It's part of the job."
There was a pause, the tension thick between you. His hands were still gently cradling your head, but his touch felt more possessive now, like he was silently claiming you as his.
"Just promise me you'll be more careful," he said, his voice pleading.
His fingers trembled slightly against your skin, the vulnerability in his voice only increasing your desire to comfort him. You reached up and gently laid your hand over his, silently reassuring him that you were okay.
"I will," you whispered. "I promise."
A small smile tugged at the corners of your mouth, an idea forming in your mind. You knew that one way to get past Spencer's stubborn facade was through bribery, particularly with his sweet tooth.
"How about this," you began, your voice taking on a slightly teasing tone. "I'll be more careful, and I'll buy you some donuts as an apology for worrying you
His eyes widened slightly, a flicker of surprise flashing through them. It was almost comical how quickly you saw him crumble, his resolve melting under the suggestion of donuts.
"You're bribing me with sugar," he stated, sounding almost offended, yet the corners of his mouth were twitching upwards.
"Is it working?" you asked, grinning up at him. You could practically see his weak willpower crumbling away. Donuts were his kryptonite.
Spencer tried to maintain his stoic exterior, but the way his eyes lit up betrayed his true feelings. He was a sucker for donuts, and you knew it.
"I mean, it's not the worst bribe," he admitted, his voice laced with resignation but also with a hint of playfulness.
You let out a soft laugh, his feigned resistance amusing you. He could pretend to be mad all he wanted, but you knew he was already imagining the taste of those sugary treats.
"I'll even get the ones with sprinkles," you promised, knowing that would practically seal the deal.
"Sprinkles?" he repeated, his voice a little too eager to be convincing. "You know me so well."
He tried to play it cool, but his eyes betrayed his excitement. It was almost endearing how easily the idea of donuts broke down his defensive walls.
"Of course I do," you said, a hint of satisfaction in your voice. "I know exactly how to get you to forgive me."
You knew that donuts were his weakness, and you were more than willing to exploit it when necessary. After all, it was a small price to pay for Spencer's forgiveness.
He looked down at you, a hint of embarrassment creeping into his expression. He was fully aware of his sweet tooth and the power it held.
"You're not playing fair," he muttered, but there was no real heat behind his words.
He knew he was defeated, and deep down, he was probably already planning which donuts he wanted.
You couldn't help but chuckle at his response. He was adorable when he was trying to resist, even though you both knew he was fighting a losing battle.
"I never said I would play fair," you teased, a cheeky smile on your face. "I play to win, and this time, winning means getting you a dozen donuts."
Spencer flushed, his cheeks coloring slightly under your touch. He hadn't expected the gentle gesture, and his usually stoic demeanor faltered for a moment.
He turned his head, his gaze meeting yours. He looked a little flustered, his usual controlled expression replaced with a hint of vulnerability.
"That's...that's a good start," he murmured, his voice a little shaky.
He swallowed, trying to regain his composure but failing. The simple act of you kissing his cheek had thrown him off balance.
"But it's going to take more than that to truly make it up to me," he said, his voice regaining a bit of its usual teasing tone.
He leaned in a little closer, the air between you growing more charged. His eyes held a hint of mischief, his smile growing wider.
"I mean, I do like donuts, but I think I'm going to need something a little more substantial as a true apology," he whispered, his voice low and suggestive.
His hand lightly rested on your cheek, his thumb tracing a gentle path over your skin. He was being playful now, his usual serious demeanor giving way to his more flirtatious side.
His hand moved down to your chin, his touch light but deliberate. He tilted your face up to meet his gaze, his eyes darkened with desire.
"Can you think of anything more substantial that might serve as an adequate apology?" he murmured, his voice dripping with suggestion.
You felt yourself shiver under his touch, your body responding to his proximity and his words. There was a hint of hunger in his eyes, and it sent a thrill through you.
"Maybe," you replied, your voice a little breathless. "But I think I'll need a hint first. I wouldn't want to disappoint my favorite genius."
Spencer's smile widened, his fingers tracing a slow path down your jawline. He leaned in, his mouth close to your ear.
"Hmm," he pretended to think, his hot breath against your skin sending another shiver down your spine. "Perhaps the apology should be a little more... physical."
His hand moved from your chin down to your neck, his fingers lightly tracing the sensitive skin there. He was so close to you now, his body almost pressed against yours.
You could feel the heat radiating off him, his breath growing a bit heavier as he continued to toy with you.
"Something that involves a lot of... touching," he whispered, his voice low and seductive.
His hand moved lower, his fingers tracing a path down your collarbone, down your arm, and finally settling on your hip. His grip was firm but gentle, his touch possessive.
He stepped even closer, his body flush against yours now. You could feel the heat of his chest against yours, his heart beating a little quicker.
"That's the kind of apology I might forgive," he murmured, his mouth hovering just above yours.
He was so close, his eyes locked with yours. His thumb continued to trail patterns on your hip, his touch both maddening and exhilarating.
His hand slid around to the small of your back, pulling you even closer. He leaned down, his mouth now just a whisper away from yours.
"I'm a very tactile person," he whispered, his voice dripping with implication. "I need to feel my apologies, not just hear them."
Your pulse quickened at his words, his proximity and his touch sending a wave of heat through you.
You reached up, tangling your fingers in his hair and pulling his mouth close to yours. "Then I guess I'll just have to make sure my apology is extra convincing," you whispered, your voice husky with desire.
You closed the remaining distance between your lips, kissing him hard.
Spencer let out a soft groan at the contact, his hand on your back tightening as he pulled you close. He responded immediately, his mouth moving against yours with a ferocity that caught you off guard.
He tasted like coffee and some lingering sweetness, a combination that was irresistibly addictive. He nipped at your lips, his hands roaming over your body, touching and caressing with an increasing hunger.
The sound of the bathroom door made you both pull away. You looked past Spencer to see Hotch and Derek.
Derek's smirk widened as he saw the two of you quickly pull away from one another.
"Well, well, well," he said, his voice dripping with feigned innocence. "Looks like we've interrupted something."
Hotch couldn't help but chuckle, his gaze flickering between you and Spencer. Hotch pulled out his wallet, handing Derek a 50$ bill.
You looked between Hotch and Derek, your confusion deepening at the sight of the fifties changing hands.
"What are you two doing?" you asked, your voice a mix of amusement and bemusement.
"Oh, we just had a little bet going," Derek explained, his smirk widening.
Hotch nodded in agreement, his expression still one of mild amusement. "We bet on when you two would finally stop dancing around each other and just admit your feelings," he explained.
Your confusion slowly turned to embarrassment at their words. They had been betting on your relationship?
You shot a glance over at Spencer, who was looking just as flustered as you were. He was clearly still a little worked up from your earlier encounter, his cheeks slightly flushed and his hair a little disheveled.
"You two bet money on our love life?" you exclaimed, your voice a mix of amusement and indignation.
Derek chuckled, pocketing the money Hotch had handed over. "Guilty as charged," he said, his grin unapologetic.
Hotch shrugged, his expression still mild but with a hint of amusement. "Consider it a friendly wager," he said.
"Friendly wager or not, you two are unbelievable," you muttered, still a little flustered but trying to play it off with a laugh.
Spencer, on the other hand, was trying to regain his composure. He ran a hand through his hair, fixing his disheveled locks and trying to look unfazed.
"It's not like we were the only ones making bets," Derek pointed out, his gaze flickering over to Spencer. "JJ and Penelope have had a bet going on for months."
Spencer's face flushed even deeper at Derek's words. JJ and Penelope had been betting on your relationship too?
You couldn't help but laugh at Spencer's reaction to Derek's revelation. His expression was a mix of mortification and resignation, as if he had known deep down that the rest of the team was watching the slow burn between you two.
You turned to him, nudging him playfully. "Looks like we're the talk of the office, genius."
Spencer let out a sigh, his shoulders slumping a bit at your comment. "Great," he mumbled, running a hand through his hair again. "Just what I need, the whole team betting on our relationship."
He looked down at you, his expression a mix of resignation and fondness. "But I guess it was only a matter of time before we gave them something to talk about."
You gave him a reassuring smile, reaching up to touch his arm. "Hey, at least they seem to think we're a good match," you joked, trying to lighten the mood.
Hotch and Derek chuckled again at your comment, their grins still just as knowing.
Spencer let out another sigh, rolling his eyes exaggeratedly. "Yeah, and they're enjoying our... progression a little too much," he grumbled, his voice still a little flustered.
Derek let out a bark of laughter at Spencer's tone. "Oh, come on, Reid. Lighten up. We're just happy you two finally got your act together."
Hotch nodded in agreement. "And I have to say, I've never seen you quite so worked up over someone before," he observed, a hint of amusement in his voice.
Spencer's cheeks colored again at Hotch's remark. He shot him a glare, but it was half-hearted at best.
"Can we please stop discussing my love life," he muttered, shifting his weight awkwardly.
Derek and Hotch exchanged another smirk, obviously enjoying their ability to embarrass him.
You guys left the restroom and the bar all together. The unsub as and the two others had been detained and taken to interrogation. The EMTs had just finished tending to your injured head the wound was cleaned and plastered but thankfully did not require stitches. You were sitting on the edge of the ambulance, a blanket draped around you
Spencer hovered over you, his expression one of concern. He had been by your side the whole time, watching as the EMTs cleaned and bandaged your wound.
Now, he was sitting next to you on the edge of the ambulance, his hand resting on your leg. He was silent for a moment, his eyes focused on your face, taking in the sight of the bandaid plastered against your forehead.
"About earlier...in the bathroom..." you began, your voice soft.
Spencer's hand stiffened a little on your leg at your sudden mention of the kiss.
He swallowed, his gaze flickering away from yours for a moment before coming back to meet your eyes. "It...it meant something," he said, his voice hesitant. His eyes searched your face as if looking for some sort of confirmation. "At least, it did to me."
You smiled at his words, your heart fluttering at the sincerity in his voice. "Good," you said, your voice soft. "Because it meant a lot to me too."
You reached up, your hand gently tracing the line of his jaw. You could see the emotions flickering across his face, his usual stoic veneer cracked just a bit.
"I still owe you a dozen donuts," you reminded him, your voice light.
Yeah," he mumbled, his eyes flickering with a mixture of annoyance and resignation. "But I think I'd rather have another kiss than a dozen donuts."
He looked down, his expression a little contrite. "Not that I don't still want the donuts," he added quickly, a hint of a smile playing at the corner of his mouth.
You leaned forward, your hand still tangled in his hair, pulling his face down to meet yours.
The kiss was soft, a gentle press of lips against yours, filled with tenderness and sweetness. It was different from the urgent, passionate kiss you had shared in the bathroom, this one slow and deliberate.
You thought back to how it all started - how you had both agreed to pretend to be a couple to gain information during the case.
And now, here you were, sitting in the back of an ambulance, your lips still tingling from the kiss you had shared with Spencer. You never could have predicted that this charade would lead to something real, but it did.
Somehow, the lines between acting and reality had blurred, turning your pretend relationship into something completely genuine.
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I don't know a lot about Criminal Minds and the characters, so I'm sorry if this is completely different than what the characters would say or do. I haven't watched the series, but I know the basic things.
So I apologize to anyone who's watched the series and that it doesn't match their personality!!!
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sourcherryandsprinkles · 7 months ago
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pkay! so i was wondering if u could do a jace x reader where after the funeral she takes him and comforts him and looks after him in the bedroom to help him calm down because he had to act strong infront of his family but in the contents of his own chambers he could let himself cry on them!
Another one for Jace because this scene broke us all. This will be the last one about this scene. I have written three versions of different moments, I think all has been said
Warnings: mention of death, grief, panic attack
my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time
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You stood alongside Rhaena and Baela during the funeral. Behind you stood Corlys and Rhaenys, all mourning the loss of Lucerys. 
Along with the remains she found on the shore, the Queen threw in the pyre her son’s clothes. Jacaerys stepped up next and threw the baby swaddle their mother used when he was a baby. And lastly, Jacaerys picked up Joffrey, who threw the horse toy Lucerys had when he was little. It had been handed to him when he grew out of playing with it, but it was still Lucerys’.
Your heart ached at how Joffrey clung to his big brother, who himself had his eyes filled with tears threatening to spill. You wanted to go up to him and hold his hand, but the time was not right. 
When the flames of the pyre finally extinguished, everyone retreated inside. The Queen had withdrawn to her chambers with her youngest sons. Losing one had only intensified her need to keep the others close.
Your eyes searched the hall for the one who was promised to you, but Jacaerys was nowhere in sight. To your left, you noticed Rhaena and Baela, who had just parted from their grandmother. You approached them, and Rhaena, who had lost her betrothed, welcomed you with a brief but heartfelt hug.
‘’Have you seen Jacaerys?’’ you asked them.
Rhaena shook her head, but Baela nodded. ‘’I saw him taking the stairs minutes ago.’’
You thanked her and followed her lead. 
Upstairs, you knew exactly where to go. 
Inside your chamber, you found Jacaerys pacing the room with frantic steps, one of his hands gripping his chest. His breathing was ragged and shallow, and his face contorted with panic. He pulled at his doublet, feeling like it was choking him and stopping air from getting into his lungs. 
You rushed to his side, alarmed. ‘’Jace,’’ you called out, your voice tinged with concern and confusion.
His head snapped in your direction, his face filled with fear and tears. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He didn’t know what was happening, and neither did you. 
‘’Should I fetch the maester?’’ you asked, your heart clenching with worry.
‘’It... hurts... can't breathe…’’ he managed to gasp, his voice strained with desperation. Sweat beaded his forehead, and his breath came in ragged, uneven gasps, as if the air was somehow refusing to fill his lungs.
Jacaerys pulled at his doublet again. 
You tried to remain calm, knowing that panic would only make the situation worse. You reached out and undid the buttons on the front of his doublet, hoping to loosen the constriction around his chest. But even as the tight fabric released its grip, it didn’t seem to help. His chest continued to heave and shudder, each breath sounding like a painful struggle.
‘’Let’s sit.’’ 
He nodded, his eyes wide with fear as he allowed you to guide him to the settee. With every step, his breathing only seemed to get more and more erratic, each gasp sounding like a strangled sob.
Once he was seated, you knelt in front of him, your hands gently gripping his trembling ones, offering what little comfort you could. His chest continued to rise and fall rapidly, each breath sounding as if it was being wrenched from his lungs. His eyes were fixed on you, panic still evident in his gaze, but there was also a glimpse of vulnerability there, as if he was silently pleading for your help.
It was heart-wrenching to see him in such a state, his normally calm and collected demeanor completely shattered.
You squeezed his hands gently, hoping to offer some small comfort. ‘’Focus on me,’’ you urged him, your voice soft but firm. ‘’Listen to my voice. Try to match your breaths to mine. Inhale.’’ You breathed in deeply, exaggerating each inhalation and exhalation, hoping that Jacaerys would follow your lead. ‘’Exhale. In through your nose, out through your mouth.’’
He tried, his eyes locked onto your face as you breathed in and out. At first, his breaths only seemed to become more shallow and labored, but gradually, they began to match the pace of yours. Each gasped inhalation slowly started to become less frantic and more controlled.
After a moment, he calmed down and you wiped his tears. 
‘’Thank you for helping me. I don’t know how this happened. I…I thought I was going to die.’’
You rose to your feet and wrapped your arms around him. 
He buried his face in your shoulder, still shaking from the intensity of the experience. He wrapped his arms around you, clinging to you tightly, as if holding on for dear life. 
‘’I was so scared,’’ he whispered, his voice still shaky and raw. ‘’I thought I was losing control. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think... It was like everything was closing in on me.’’
You held him tightly, one hand rubbing soothing circles on his back. His body was warm and solid against yours, his muscles tense with lingering fear.
You hushed gently, kissing his shoulder. ‘’You're okay now. You're safe with me.’’ 
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tripiolo · 11 days ago
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second chances ✧ ms
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𝜗𝜚 in which you give your ex boyfriend another chance
contains- swearing, mention of breakup, mention of neglect & disregard of feelings, crying, little bit of sad little bit of happy
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“mom asked about you,” matt blurts out, looking to his lap while he twiddles with his thumbs.
you had broken up with matt the week before, and had been coming over to collect your things in several trips, hoping you would be able to avoid matt. this time, he was sitting on the couch when you pushed your way inside, so there was no avoiding him. he looked smaller than normal, hunched over in a way he usually wasn’t. you approached him, noticing his puffy face when he looked up to you. had he been crying? certainly. and it seemed he had been for a long time.
“oh..” you say awkwardly, setting your backpack down on the couch. “did she?”
matt nods his head, his eyes darting back to his lap. he knew he had messed up, and he was feeling every ounce of guilt for what he said about you to his friend.
“can we talk, like seriously, please?” he pleads, his eyes briefly meeting yours. tears prodded at your eyes from seeing him this way. it was terrible to see him so shaken, but it felt nice knowing he still cared and this wasn’t any easier for him.
“matt…” you sigh, taking a seat next to him. “what could there possibly be to talk about? i feel like we’ve exhausted all avenues at this point.” you knew the breakup would be the hardest one you have ever had to go through, because matt was different. you felt such a strong connection to him in your soul, and he loved and cared for you like no other. your love was better than the movies, but the repetitive nature of matt’s unwillingness to hear what you were saying had gotten old and driven the two of you apart.
“no, y/n, please just hear me-,” he says softly, setting something inside of you off.
“hear you out?!” you furrow your brow, raising your voice. “you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”
matt remains silent as you cross your arms and scoff at his choice of words. “hear you out? matt, the whole fucking reason we broke up is because you could never do that for me!” you shout, tears spilling from your eyes. you two had communicated about the breakup, but always had left things unsaid in the end. this time, you wanted to be sure you said everything you wanted to. you sigh deeply in attempt to calm yourself down, wiping your hands down your face.
once he comes back into your line of vision, your heart drops at the sight of his body hunched over and shaking. his head was in his hands as he sobbed, and your attitude changed instantly. in the two years you had been together, you never saw him cry.
“matt?” you whisper, softly placing a hand against his back. “i’m sorry, i’m just frustrated. i shouldn’t have yelled like that.”
“you had every right to,” he sniffles, looking up at you once he has calmed down. “i messed up.” another tear rolls down his cheek.
“y/n, i’m sorry,” he says, grabbing your hand in his own. “so, so, so, so, so, so sorry. you’re everything to me, y’know that?” he asks, his voice cracking as he tries to hold his tears back. “everything i have ever wanted, everything i have ever needed. there’s nobody like you. i am so truly and deeply in love with you, i can’t just let you walk away from me.”
“matt…” you start, earning a ‘shush’ from him. a blush creeps up on your cheeks as he speaks, a small smile spreading across your face.
“i know i messed up, and i know sorry won’t cut it, but i just want you to know how genuinely sorry i am. i never meant to hurt you, neglect you, disregard your feelings, none of that. i don’t want to start over with anyone else. i don’t want anyone in your place but you. you are the only one for me in this lifetime and the next,” he continues, his nose clogged from the crying he had done. “this is what couples do, right? they fight, they have misunderstandings…but they fix it together. we can fix this together, sweetheart.”
you ponder for a moment, touched by matt’s sincere words. maybe he was right, maybe you could fix this together. maybe you did overreact a little when you broke things off, but that’s a conversation for another time.
“yeah,” you finally say, a small smile on your face. “i think we can work things out,” you continue, and matt practically jumps on you. “but wait.”
you giggle, pulling away from him for a second to speak in a serious tone. “you have to promise me you’ll try to be better at listening to me when i speak.” matt frantically nods his head, wrapping his arms around your waist. he looks up at you with the sweetest eyes that you’ve missed so dearly, and you know you made the right decision.
“i thought i had lost you for good,” he breathes out, enveloping you in a tight embrace. “i was so scared…”
“matt, you could never lose me for good. i love you too much for that.”
“good, because i’m not going anywhere now that you’re back. now, how about we call mom?” he smiles, and everything in the world feels right again.
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getitoutofmymindwrites · 11 months ago
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The falling | joel miller x f!reader, 5k
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Summary: It’s a weird feeling, the moment you realize you’ve lost everything. You're falling. It is never ending, the falling, even after the moment, that exact moment, is long gone. Or you catch Joel cheating on you. The world comes crushing down.
Warnings: 18+ MDNI, ANGST. That's it. Ok, bye. But seriously, angst, a whole lot of angst, alternated POVs, husband!joel, wife!reader, cheater!joel, married couple, Joel fucks another f!person, reference to sexual activity but nothing too detailed, as I said before-ANGST, excessive use of the word fuck, Joel is kind of a dick on this one, as always let me know if I missed anything!
A/N: Let me know how you feel about this lost little puppy, I know he sounds arrogant and awful, maybe I can rectify that, on a second part. If you're interested in a closure for these two, hit me in the comments! Thank you for taking the time to read anything I write! Love you all! 🥰😘
Dividers by @cafekitsune & @saradika-graphics
Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist
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It’s a weird feeling, the moment you realize you’ve lost everything.
Everything dear and loved and cherished and so close to your heart. Your heart itself.
You still can’t decide if it’s liberating or torturing, to have that exact moment burned in your thoughts like a Polaroid.
But the pain is real. The pain is excruciating. It spreads like vines through your whole body, starting from the pit of your stomach in the form of a bile you try to hold back, moving to your heart’s agonizing clench, licking to the ends of your numb limbs which remain obstinately immobile. It feels almost like floating, but not exactly.
You’re falling; you’re still falling as if there’s no luxurious, expensive floor underneath your feet, holding you surprisingly still up. You wait for the landing, the crush, unmoving, unblinking, not quite breathing. It is never ending, the falling, even after the moment, that exact moment, is long gone.
Your designer’s tote bag, another unnecessarily extravagant gift from your husband, drops from your hands to the floor with a loud thud.
Joel’s thrusts stop immediately and he turns his head to look behind him, while he’s on his knees, balls deep in a female body on all fours. His eyes shut tightly in something you’re not sure how to interpret, dropping his head between his shoulder blades and his palms squeeze the hips of the female body he's holding, until his fingertips go white.
And you’re just standing there, on the threshold of your bedroom, taking in the scene. It’s weird how the mind works under stressful situations. Is the absurdity of the reality that keeps you calm? Is it your brain’s reaction to protect you from collapsing? Are you shutting down right now?
You feel your eyes unable to move around and at the same time you see clearer than ever, as if you’re looking through a wide-angle lens.
You notice all of the stripped clothes, which they don’t seem hastily taken off, the way they pool on various surfaces of the room; they took their time undressing each other.
You notice the crystal tumbler of a half finished liquid, Joel’s whiskey, on his side of the nightstand; they took their time having fun.
You notice the absence of a condom on Joel’s cock as he removes himself from the female hole he was buried deep, all splayed out for him and now you; they took their time before, it seems, there is an intimacy there. This is not a stranger, this is not a first time.
Joel is calm, collected even, as he stands to his full height, grabbing his pants from the floor next to the king sized bed and putting them on. Calculated, steady movements, he looks like he’s trying to stay in control of the situation, diminish it to something else. You pray he doesn’t go down that path.
You look behind him, the female body’s gathering itself into a ball, sitting on your bed now, hands hugging it’s knees, trying to protect its nudity. Your eyes roam her form until they settle on her face. Oh, you know her. She looks -hm, there’s a mosaic of emotions behind her eyes, which are surprisingly bold to look back at you. You see shock, you see fear, you see.. satisfaction?
“Darlin’” Joel’s approaching you, crossing the ridiculously big room, with a steady pace.
His chest is heaving from the effort to regulate his breathing, he’s sweaty, his muscles all bulged from the interrupted fucking, his curls -your curls, fuck, that hurts- damp. He’s so handsome in all his disheveled form. He looks like your Joel.
Imaginary flashes of her fingertips combing through his hair are passing through your mind and you feel your esophagus contracting, a sense of a burning hot liquid moving up to your mouth. You swallow it down.
He reaches to touch your arm, don’t you dare, is all you mutter lowly, still without moving a muscle as if you do, the world will come crushing down. It already did, didn’t you get the memo? Your voice feels foreign to your ears, your tongue feels rough like sandpaper. He obeys.
When does this falling end?
“Baby-”, he tries again, while he steps forward, a condescending tone to his voice, like he’s addressing a toddler.
“Don’t-”, you roll your eyes in your head, god, he smells so good, even with the sweat someone else poured out of his skin, he smells so fucking good. He smells like your Joel. “Don’t come any closer.”
“This-” he exhales heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration, as if it’s an unnecessary effort to explain, as if you should understand; of all people, you should know, “this doesn’t mean anything-” his hand gesturing between him and the female body, “she doesn’t mean anything.” You should understand, baby, you should know.
And for the first time her eyes leave yours and land on the face of the deceiver. If this wasn’t happening to you right now, you would take pity on her pained expression. You almost feel sorry for her. Almost.
“Does she know that?” you ask him, your eyes never leaving her tangled form on your bed.
Joel snaps his head to her direction, narrowing his eyes in warning, “Yes, she does.”, his voice comes out strict and final, signaling there’s no room for doubt. He doesn’t sound like your Joel.
“I need you to leave.”, you breathe barely audible, your eyes still on her face; now she doesn’t know where to look, the rug pulled out from under her feet from the man she had inside her minutes ago.
His gaze is cold and indifferent, as if everything is her fault, looking still in her direction. She looks like a deer caught in the headlights, the empathetic part of your brain feels for her.
“Get your shit and get the fuck out, what are you waiting for?” he snaps at her.
“Not her, you.” you whisper, it’s impossible to speak louder, all of your energy powers your two standing feet.
He turns to look at you, shocked, eyes wide, mouth slightly agape.
“Wh- what are you talking about, sweetheart?” he tries to reason with you, “We need to talk, to-”
“Joel-”, you try again and thank god he’s interrupting you, you don’t have the strength to negotiate right now. Let the dice roll. It’s all fucked, anyway.
“This is my home; I’m not leaving.” he simply states, shaking his head from side to side, staring at you expectantly.
“You’re right. This is your house.” you acknowledge, coming to a painful realization. “Everything is yours; you own everything, don’t you?”, you smile sadly, crouching down to collect you bag.
You turn on your heels and leave the residence formerly known and felt as home, behind you.
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Alarm system disabled.
Joe’s hairs are rising on the nape of his neck, when he checks the alarm app notification on his phone, thinking you came back home.
It’s been an awful month without you, without being able to contact you. He knew where you were of course, he could not for the life of him leave that information escape him, but he didn’t pressure you with an unexpected visit, he knew better.
It’s been a month. That’s plenty of time. You took your time and now you’re ready to talk. You have to be, this can’t be the end of this relationship, this marriage.
He presses your number and hits call. Fuck, he’s still blocked. Maybe you forgot to unblock him, it’s ok, it doesn’t mean anything.
He checks the house’s cameras. Shit. That’s not you. What is she doing there? What the fuck is going on? Alright, he’s going back to the house.
He stands on his feet, right in the middle of a meeting with the board and just leaves them. There’s a distant muttering of where does he think he goes, what happened, what’s gotten into him, this is important for the upcoming deal, but he pays no mind to them.
He needs to talk to you.
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“Yeah, I think I’ve got everything you need,” Maria facetimes you, showing around your closet via her camera. “I’m loading the suitcase to the car and I’m out of here.”
“Thank you Mar-”
“MARIA?” Joel’s voice travels through the space from the ground floor, up.
“Shit, shit, shit, what am I gonna do?” Maria whispers to you turning the call to voice only.
“Just take the suitcase and leave, it’s ok, I only got personal stuff if that’s what he’s worried about. Let him check if it comes to that.”, you try to calm her down.
“Ok, ok-” Maria grabs the handle of the suitcase and moves to leave the walk-in closet.
“Hey.” Joel comes through the door to the bedroom taking in the scene. He hasn’t set foot in this room for nearly a month now.
“Hey.” Maria sounds pissed on the line.
“What are you doing here? Where's Tommy?”, Joel’s face frowns in question. “Tommy's not my keeper, his my partner. My husband, not that you would know what that means, apparently.” Maria just shrugs and moves to pass him by.
“What are you doing, what’s going on here?” he insists, blocking her way.
“I’m just collecting som-”
“How is she? Is she ok?” his voice softening when he asks about you.
“Oh, please, Joel, how is she? Really?” Maria scoffs at him. “She doesn’t want to see you, Joel or hear from you, that’s how she is.”
“Yeah, I gathered that much, thank you.” he mocks back. “Is she on the phone, can I just talk to her?” he extends his arm to reach for the phone. “Over my dead and cold body.” Maria says, pressing the phone on her chest.
His eyes are raging storms, his nostrils flaring with quiet rage. He takes a deep breath “Can you please ask her if I can talk to her, just for five minutes?”
“Why don’t you call her, Joel?” Maria taunts him, emphasizing the pronunciation of his name.
Joel just stares back at her, unfazed. Maria doesn’t move a muscle, lifting an eyebrow quizzically. Well, she did move one muscle.
Joel sighs exasperatedly “She blocked my number.”
“I wonder why that is.” Maria twists the knife, “I guess you have your answer, then.”
“Christ-” he pinches the bridge of his nose, “just- just ask her, please.”
Maria lifts the phone to her ear, rolling her eyes in frustration in the process. “Hey, Joel’s here, he’s ask-”
“Yeah, I heard everything.” you interrupt her, “No, I don’t want to talk to him.” Maria is shaking her head negatively at him as you talk, to pass the message.
Joel’s face goes cold and emotionless. “Well, tell her if she wants her belongings, she needs to come and get them herself.”
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It’s been five weeks now and you can’t keep living in your best friend’s and sister in law's clothes. You’re gonna have to go and grab your stuff yourself.
Because it wasn’t enough what you’ve been through, what you’ve heard until you reached that goddamned bedroom door, what you’ve witnessed when you’ve entered, now he’s making you go back there to humiliate you. As you’re checking your calendar for your work schedule to decide on a suitable day, it hits you. You have Joel’s calendar on your phone, too. You always do, it was the only way to have some time together between his visits to work sites and board meetings and bussiness trips and fucking-behind-your-back, apparently.
And then you remember that day where you both stole some time off and decided to spend it cuddling with each other on the couch, talking nonsense and laughing at silly things and hugging and kissing and fucking all night long.
A brainstorm of thoughts run through your head instantly. How could he do that to you? He looked so happy in your arms. Maybe he was right, maybe it was nothing, maybe you should understand, you of all people, you should know. Do you need to do an STD test? How careless could he be? Where there others? Did he ever love you? Do you want to know?
Does it really matter?
You focus again on that day. He’d told you about a big deal coming up, one of the biggest in his career, if not the biggest so far and how important it was to the future of the company.
You searched frantically through his calendar until you found the date of the final meeting, the date where they’d seal the deal. Because there is no way they weren’t. If Joel wanted it so badly, he’d find a way to make it happen.
And you knew your husband, ironic as is sounds now. He was focused to a fault. He wouldn’t even check his phone that day. He’d done it every time since you were together. History indicated that he probably had other reasons, too, for not checking his phone in a timely manner, but you wouldn’t dwell on that. Not right now. Because now you had your chance.
That date was your chance.
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Alarm disabled.
Joel’s phone is vibrating momentarily, not that he noticed, it was silent and tacked away in his jacket pocket, the jacket itself hanging on the back of his chair.
Don’t fuck it up, don’t fuck it up, don’t fuck it up, he’s chanting in his mind, under all this calm and confident demeanor, he’s sweating inside.
This is it, this is it, this is it, he repeats like a mantra, watching his opposite CEO, Leo Marks, playing with the pen between his fingers. He’s inspecting the contract again and he’s so close, so close to what he wanted. The room is silent, the long table full of seated lawyers and consultants from both sides, holding their breaths in charged expectation.
Joel knows that Marks is going to sign. He knows it. He worked for it. He convinced him, he made his vision clear as day and he lured him in. This is it. He got this.
Then your face appears in his mind. No, not today, he can’t do this today. You will have to wait. Like you always have. Joel shakes his head slightly, as if to remove you from his thoughts. His fingers get itchy, he wishes he could just check on you. Yes, he just want to check on you.
Are you alright? Are you thinking about him? Do you miss him like he does? Do you stay wide awake at night replaying the same scene over and over until you feel physically ill? Do you know that he thinks about you? Did he show you at all that night? Maybe he should have appeared at your friend’s door out of the blue. Maybe you think he doesn’t care. All he was trying to do was give you space. Respect your boundaries. Let you work everything out.
Fuck.
He reaches for his phone. He doesn’t know why. He knows his number is still blocked. He checks every night, when he's too exhausted from the lack of sleep and prays he could listen to your voice, or the soft sound of your breath when you slept next to him. But he fishes it out of his jacket pocket, anyway and then he sees it.
38 minutes ago.
Alarm disabled.
Alarm disabled. Alarm disabled. Alarm disabled, the only thought repeated in his head. He immediately searches the cameras for you but no movement is recorded right now. Maybe you already left. His heart rate spikes, his temples feel the pressure of his blood pumping violently in his veins. Cold sweat pours out of his body.
He’s squeezing his eyes shut, mentally counting all the places without cameras inside the house. What if you are still in there and he just can’t see you?
Fuck.
Mark’s voice extract him from his thoughts, “Mr. Miller, everything looks in order as we agreed.”
Joel snaps his eyes back to him, slightly irritated, “Of course it does, your legal team already did a thorough check all these months to get us here today.”
“Yes, yes,” Marks laughs entertained, “I just wanted to look it over one more time, I mean, we really are going to…”
What if you’re still there? What if this is his chance? He could always try to reach you after the deal, convince you to hear him out. Yeah, he can do that. He doesn’t need to chase you down. He can wait a little bit longer, can’t he? He can have it all, right? He was the man that had it all.
A mail pops up on his phone, a compliment note from the management of one of both your favorite hotels in Europe, thanking you for choosing their establishments for your stay, once again. Shit. You’re fleeing the fucking country? Are you fucking serious?
“..Mr. Miller?” Marks insists.
“Hm?” his eyes are glued to the screen of his phone.
“I said, before we sign, I need you to walk me through it one more time.” he demands like a little child asking for its favorite bedtime story. “I mean, this is the project of my dreams. I need your reassurance that this is as important for you as it is for us, that it’ll be your only focus for the foreseeable future.” he looks at Joel expectantly.
His only focus.
For the foreseeable future.
Fuck.
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“HONEY!”. Your blood runs cold in your veins to the sound of his baritone voice. Your hand freezes over the shelf with the t-shirts, not making a sound. You didn’t take that long, why is he here? Why isn’t he in his meeting?
Joel enters the bedroom but you’re not there. Fuck, you hear the curse running softly from his lips. You don’t move, you don’t blink, you don’t breathe.
He moves to leave and check elsewhere but then he stops. You hear soft steps and you see the door of the walk-in closet opening. His wide form blocks the light from the outside, his broad shoulders almost taking up all the space of the frame.
He looks disheveled, his baby blue shirt wrinkled and unbuttoned at the top, his hair a mess, like he kept combing his fingers through them. You don’t dare meet his eyes though. You keep your gaze as far as his chin goes, concentrating on the bare patch there. His sole presence electrifies you like he’s already touched you. Your whole body feels on fire and frozen simultaneously. God, you missed him.
“I was calling for you.”, he breathes out and you can feel his fear pulsing through his body. He’s scared you’re gonna run. That’s why he doesn’t leave his spot, blocking the door.
“I know.”
“Were you hiding from me?” his brows are furrowed in a seemingly pained expression from what your peripheral vision could help you understand.
“No, I just chose not to answer you.”, you lower your head, looking at your feet.
“Why?”
“I don’t know.” you say hastily, but he’s waiting for a real answer. You breathe deeply, “It- it felt too domestic, you calling for me, me answering back, like how we were before.” He nods, biting his bottom lip. “What are you doing here, Joel?”
“In our house?” the edges of his lips are slightly turned up, his head tilting to one side.
“No, this is your house as you said yourself.”
“Darlin’, you know I didn’t mean it like that..” he sighs in regret, his head deepening in his shoulder blades in an effort to attract your gaze upwards.
“But you’re right.”
“I built it for you.” his voice soft, like it’s a secret meant to stay that way.
“Hm.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” his brows raise in genuine surprise.
“Nothing, forget it.”
“No, tell me.”
“You first.”
He looks perplexed, he forgot your question.
“What are you doing here, right now, Joel?”
“I got the alarm notification and.. it was the only way I could talk to you, honey..”
“But- your meeting-”
He searches your eyes, although you refuse to look at him, analysing your confused expression and it hits him. He smiles in understanding, nodding his head. “So, you chose today on purpose..”
You don’t respond, you keep looking everywhere but his eyes.
He laughs through his nose, rubbing a hand over his face. “Did you really think that I wouldn’t drop everything to come and see you?”
“I really did.”
He gasps in disbelief, almost offended.
“Baby, look at me, please; look at me..” he pleads with you softly. You close your eyes as if in fear you would obey, your chin trembling from the effort to remain calm.
“Baby, look at me. I want you to look at me, now.” he presses in a more authoritative way. He thought he could order you around? Break you?
“No.” you shake your head.
Joel calls you by your name but before he has a chance to spit another soft command-
“I SAID NO!” you open your eyes, targeting them to his chest, tears spilling uncontrollably now. You can see from your periphery the look of shock on his face, because you’ve never yelled before. Ever.
“Why, sweetheart?”, he retreats back to his soft side.
“Because that’s exactly what you want. And you can’t always get what you want, Joel, not anymore.” You can’t hold back your tongue now.
“Jesus Christ,” you grit through your teeth, “what do you want from me, hm?” your eyes keep dancing around his face but never on his eyes. He looks dumbfounded, his lips part slightly but you don’t wait for an answer. “What else do you want? Is this some kind of ego thing? You expected me to shout and break things and hit you and tell you to leave her and come back to me? Because your ego is safe, Joel, if that’s what you worry about. I didn’t leave you, you did that first when you went behind my back. So, you walked out on me and not the other way around. Happy? Ready to go on with your life?” You’re grabbing the shelf where your hand previously rested so hard, trying to steady yourself.
For the first time Joel is speechless. He doesn’t know what to say. He can’t find the words to defend himself, to convince you about his feelings, to soothe you at the very least. He begins to have a glimpse of how he appears in your eyes right now. How much damage he’s done, even before that night. How much ground he’s lost over time.
“Darlin', I just wa-” he begins softly, almost like walking on eggshells, but your body visibly tenses, you jaw shuts tight, your eyes rolling back in your head.
“Stop, just stop! Stop saying what you want! Stop making this about you! Don’t you see? You keep asking me for what you want! Have you stopped for a second, just a second, to think what I want? What I need? I don’t- I don’t recognize you anymore.”
“I-” he closes his eyes in distress, “I love you.” His last retreat. He’s trying anything that could help him. He doesn’t get it. He can’t. He’s not capable. But he used to be. He was the most empathetic person you knew. What the fuck happened?
Your eyes snap though the open closet door at his admision and on to the perfectly made bed.
His gaze follows yours behind his back and shakes his head once more in regret.
“It really didn’t mean-”
“Joel-” you warn him, “have some self respect and don’t say what I think you’re about to say. At least have the guts to admit exactly what you did, I’d appreciate it more.”
He exhales heavily, you’re not giving him an opening to fix this. You’re hanging onto every word he mutters. Not a single one of them is left unparsed and he's not used to that. He knows that if he does not control his anger right now, it's game over.
Heavy silence is hanging between you, each one lost on their thoughts.
“Do you know when you really lost me, Joel?”, you ask him eventually.
Half an hour ago he would swear he had all the answers, but now? Now he sees he’s in the deep, so he stays quiet, searching your eyes that still won't reach his, for answers.
“You lost me when you humiliated her in front of me.”
His face goes white, shocked, he can’t believe his ears. His mouth opens and closes but he makes no sound, how on earth does he respond to that?
“You still don’t get it, do you?”, you pinch the bridge of your nose exasperatedly. “You valued her enough to endanger our wedding, you valued her enough to bring her to our own house, to our bed, Joel; you valued her enough to fuck her raw, to let her know that you were unhappy with me, before I had a chance to realize it myself-”, Joel interrupts you almost panicked “I’m not un-” and for the first time your eyes pierce his in such an anguish that the words die in his throat. “-and then you just diminished her like she was nothing, just to prove a point to me. While she was naked, vulnerable on our bed. And trust me, this is not me defending her, she is as responsible for this as you, but you’re the one I married, not her. I expected better from you, Joel, not her.”
Now he’s the one averting his eyes from you, looking down on his overpriced shoes, his demeanor defeated, this is not the Joel you know anymore.
“And what was the point, Joel? Hm? What? That she means nothing? Then why were you with her? Why did you choose her? Why did you spend your precious time on nothing, while I had to make an appointment to see you? That’s what you did with me, too? I mean nothing, too? Just a warm hole to fuck when convenient?” he snaps his head back to you, shaking it in denial frantically, his eyes blown wide and red from all the emotional stress you push onto him.
“But I guess I got my answer about a month ago, hm?” It’s one of those moments that epiphanies hit you as you speak uncontrollably, you just can’t stop your mind from running wild, your mouth from spilling bile, your heart from pounding so hard in your chest, your ears start to ring, your grasp on the shelf tightening even more for balance.
“And that tells me a lot about who you really are. It’s not just about the fucking, Joel, Jesus-, -for the brilliant man I know you to be, you’re stumbling through your blindest moment.”, you shake your head in disappointment, tears still running freely down your face, licking your jawline and falling like a waterfall to the carpeted floor. You feel so done, you find it pointless to explain any further.
“I- I don’t know you, Joel, I don’t know who you are anymore. Maybe I never did,” you conclude, “maybe you’re right,” you slowly nod to yourself, “and everything is my fault after all.” you whisper, not sure if you want him to hear that part.
He did. “I never said that it was your fault, baby. When did I ever say that?” his face is contorted in pain, “None of this is your fault, none of it, you hear me?” he wants so desperately to cross the fucking room and hold you tight, crush all your pain and insecurities and self hatred under an asphyxiating hug. He also knows that he won't make even two steps before you flee, or step back from him and he can’t for the life of him witness that. Because that’s how much he needs you. He prefers you standing there, where he can see you, where he can have you, even if you wither and die under the enormous trauma he’s putting you through.
“So stupid.. I was- I am so stupid..” you’re repeating to yourself almost deliriously, rubbing your fingers on your forehead.
“This isn’t you, sweetheart, you don’t talk like that, don’t- don’t do that to yourself.” Joel tries to bring you back.
“But this is you, isn’t it, Joel? The real you?” you bite back. “This isn’t me, really? How do you like the new me, Joel? Do you take pride on your creation?” you laugh bitterly at him. “Yeah, how you’d always call me? Polite little thing? Sweetheart?” you’re infuriated now, a rise fighting to explode through you. “How does it feel, Joel? To know you’re responsible for changing someone to their core? To know you had that much power over them?”
Joel’s shaking his head once again in desperation, hot tears spilling from his eyes, god, had he ever cried before? this is not a battle he can win, he sees that now. The damage is too great. What on earth was he thinking?
“Please, please honey, can we just take a breather, sit down and talk about everything?” he pleads with you, a last thread of hope shinning in his red rimmed eyes.
“Take a breather..” you mutter through your teeth, “you mean the breather you took while you were fucking someone else instead of talking to me?”, Joel shuts his eyes in defeat, there’s nothing he can say anymore. “I think you got it backwards, Joel.”
You take a steadying breath and command your legs internally to hold on a little while longer and move forward; clothes, suitcase, life left behind.
“Don’t contact me again, unless is via your legal team.” is the last bullet that hits Joel’s chest, right through his broken heart.
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pastryfication · 4 months ago
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THE RED SHOES ↳ oscar piastri
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based on the fairytale by hans christian andersen | inspired by an old school project i found on my laptop … this took me forever so please give it some love <33
pairing: oscar piastri x leclerc!sister!reader summary: from the moment you were gifted your first ballet slippers, dance had been a constant in your life. a comfort in even the darkest times. but it becomes unhealthy the moment you are unable to take off the shoes.
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the most worn out, old shoes in your collection dated all the way back to your fourth birthday. they had been a gift from your three brothers; a pair of red dance slippers for you to wear when you the following week participated in your very first ballet class.
it had been love at first sight for you. the moment you stepped into the studio, feeling the hardwood beneath your thin shoes, seeing yourself reflected in a mirror no matter what direction you looked in, you knew that it was where you wanted to spend the rest of your days. dance became your lifeline, the only thing keeping you going when everything else seemed dull.
when your brothers were off racing and your parents preoccupied themselves with the go-karts and helmets, you found solace in the simple act of ballet. lacing up your shoes, the familiar scent of the studio and the smoothness of the wooden floor always managed to calm you. when the music started, your world narrowed down to the rhythmic beating of the drum and the fluidity of your movements. there, in that sanctuary, nothing else mattered.
your first pair of shoes quickly became worn out, too ruined to be used, and your parents provided you with a new pair. a new pair that soon would be replaced as well.
when you were twenty, you were for the first time introduced to oscar. it was the italian grand prix, an event your entire family always attended in support of your older brother, and that year was no different. you had been wandering around in search of a familiar face when you ran into the mclaren driver. it had been love a first sight—something neither of you believed in, yet couldn’t deny��to put it simple, and the two years you had been together had been nothing short of incredible.
the australian was more than happy to contribute to your collection of shoes that only grew more and more as your training became harder, more challenging, more draining.
he worried. it wasn’t in his nature, not something he found himself doing often, but for you, for the growing dark circles under your eyes, for the weight you only seemed to loose and not gain, he worried.
you would never want him foreboding, never want him to feel the slightest unease, but as your days filled with more stress, your mind started closing up, leaving room for nothing but the new choreography.
each morning and each night, you stepped into the studio, the mirrored walls reflecting your resolve, as the music filled the air like a whisper of promise. each movement carved out a sanctuary, a space where the weight of the world faded to a distant hum.
your body became a vessel for the dance, each plié and tendu an escape from the noise outside. time drifted away, an endless stream of practice and precision and the pulse of the music guiding you deeper into this realm.
the world outside became a mere shadow, its demands and voices lost in the blur of your focus, where you were both lost and found. every ache was a testament to your commitment, every breath a surrender to the rhythm.
the only thing remaining clear was the shoes.
you had long since outgrown the pair your brothers had gifted you so thoughtfully, yet somehow, they stayed with you, not only in the physical sense, but in a way that felt deeper, more insidious. you couldn’t see it then, couldn’t know how easily the delicate line between passion and obsession could blur without you noticing.
your brothers had never fully understood, though they loved you all the same. their world was filled with the rush of engines, the thrill of speed. they were boys of the track, always chasing something fast, something tangible. when they handed you those shoes on your fourth birthday, they had no way of knowing they were giving you something you would chase for the rest of your life. a place you would carve out in the quiet, where the sound of your feet against the floor was all that mattered.
time went on so slow yet so fast. your brothers still called, though not as often as before. arthur’s voice always had an edge of command, as though even over the phone, he couldn’t help but lead you, the only person who would ever follow his command. “we’re all going to monaco this year. you’re coming, right?” his words held the weight of expectation, as though he couldn’t imagine you saying no. but when you hesitated, there was always that brief pause before he moved on, never pushing too hard.
charles’ calls were shorter, more distant, his voice lighter, floating through pictures and scattered texts from whatever corner of the world he happened to be racing through. he asked about the dance, though you both knew he didn’t really need the answer. to him, it was enough that you were still moving, still spinning through your world as he did through his.
and lorenzo—sweet, caring enzo—he called the most, his words gentle but filled with concern as he told you about your mother’s worry. about his own worry. “you sound tired,” he’d say, even when you laughed it off. he noticed things the others didn’t, sensed the exhaustion creeping into your voice, the hesitation between your words. but you reassured him, told him you were fine, always fine.
it wasn’t until oscar voiced the same worry that you began to feel the weight of it yourself. he wasn’t like your brothers—his concern was quieter, but it settled over you like a shadow. he’d watch you in the studio, even when he was busy and cramped by his ever growing career.
silent he was, his eyes tracing the movements of your body as it twisted and turned, as though trying to understand what it was you were chasing. he knew, even if you didn’t want to admit it yet, that something had shifted.
“i’m worried,” he had said one evening, after watching you move through another rehearsal, the exhaustion clinging to you like a second skin. “you don’t have to push so hard.”
his words were soft, but they lingered. you had brushed them aside at first because how could he understand?
the studio was your world. it was where everything made sense.
each day, the pull of the shoes grew stronger, though they were no longer on your feet. the new pairs you slipped on felt no different; they all seemed to carry the same curse, driving you forward even when your body begged to stop. the movements, once effortless, now felt like a compulsion, a promise you couldn’t break. you were chasing something. chasing a perfection that always seemed just out of reach.
it wasn’t until you stumbled—it just a small misstep, barely noticeable to anyone but you—that the truth started to crack open. you stood there, breath caught in your chest, staring at the mirrored walls surrounding you. your reflection looked back, but it didn’t feel like your own. there was something unfamiliar in the way your body moved, something hollow in your eyes. the girl in the mirror was still dancing, but you weren’t sure why anymore.
oscar was a magician in the way he immediately was there, his hand on your arm before you even realized it. “it’s okay,” he whispered, his voice steady, but his eyes told a completely different story. “you don’t have to keep doing this,” he said softly, his fingers brushing against yours as tenderly as if you were close to breaking. “you don’t have to prove anything to anyone.”
you wanted to believe him, but you couldn’t. the shoes still called to you, still urged you forward. they were tied to something deeper than the dance itself, something you couldn’t quite name, but couldn’t quite let go of either.
your brothers called again, their voices distant but filled with love. “come to the race,” charles said. “we’ll all be there. we want to see you.”
and for a moment, you hesitated, the pull of family tugging against the pull of the enchanting movements. you thought of charles‘ steady voice, of arthur’s laughter, of lorenzo’s quiet concern and of your mothers worrying eyes. you thought of your first ever shoes, of the girl who had received them. the girl who danced because it was her joy, not her burden.
but as you tried to step out the shoes, you found that you couldn’t. they were stuck, grown unto your feet so tightly that not even the whispers of your adoring family and all too loving boyfriend could free them. the web had spun for years, and now, it was too late to escape.
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celestemona · 11 months ago
Text
𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘'𝐑𝐄 𝐃𝐀𝐃𝐒
and how they deal with their children and domestic life.
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pairing: dad & husband! wriothesley, lyney and neuvillette x fem! reader.
cw: original characters, slightly ooc to fit the plot, domesticity, fluff. pregnant reader is mentioned to introductions but not too elaborated. not beta read.
reblogs and comments are appreciated ♡
kazuha’s part. | part. ii
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Wriothesley 
If outsiders had once been intimidated by the Duke's mere reputation, the announcement of your pregnancy elevated that fear to an entirely new level. The very mention of Wriothesley’s name was enough to unsettle even the bravest of men.
It was no surprise, really—Wriothesley’s demeanor during those months was enough to terrify anyone. He was often seen patrolling the corridors of the Fortress of Meropide with a perpetual frown and clenched fists, as if prepared for battle at a moment's notice. New prisoners, who already dreaded the idea of crossing paths with the Duke, now did everything in their power to avoid his gaze entirely.
What they didn’t know, however, was that beneath the icy exterior, Wriothesley was a bundle of nerves. The mask of aloofness he wore so convincingly was the only defense he knew against the overwhelming fear brewing in his soul.
Fortunately for everyone in the prison, including Wriothesley himself, you were there—attentive, reassuring, and endlessly confident. Your steady presence and unwavering support helped him find calm amidst his storm of insecurities. With your encouragement, he overcame his fears and finally allowed himself to celebrate the arrival of his son.
When that day came, even the guards seemed to breathe a collective sigh of relief. They silently thanked you, the Duchess, for the sudden shift in their boss. You merely winked in acknowledgment, sharing the unspoken understanding.
Little Cameron’s entry into the world was far from smooth, arriving during one of the most tumultuous times for your family and Fontaine alike. Your own health had been fragile during the pregnancy, leaving you weak and bedridden despite Sigewinne’s best efforts. To make matters worse, the political upheaval in Fontaine added layers of stress and uncertainty.
Wriothesley’s fear of losing both you and the baby loomed large, but deep down, he knew better than to underestimate you. His wife was nothing if not resilient. He held onto that faith as tightly as he held onto you.
Thankfully, Wriothesley’s faith was not misplaced. Against all odds, both you and Cameron emerged victorious from the harrowing ordeal of his birth.
“Please don’t scare me like that again,” Wriothesley said, his voice trembling with residual fear. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you both.”
“You really need to start giving me more credit, Wrio,” you teased, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Your wife is far too stubborn to let herself be beaten by anything, even illness.”
Though Wriothesley had his doubts about fatherhood—his own troubled upbringing having left deep scars—he turned out to be an incredible father. His gentle affection was boundless, and not only you, but the entire Fortress of Meropide began to notice a softer side blossoming in him.
That didn’t mean he let his guard down completely. As the prison's director, he remained unwavering in his enforcement of the laws and its administration.
Still, it was a sight both comforting and amusing to see Wriothesley patrolling the production zones or administrative areas with a baby carrier strapped to his chest. Cameron, a tiny replica of his father, sat calmly nestled against him. Of course, no one dared to comment on the endearing scene, much less approach the new father uninvited.
Cameron, for his part, was a remarkably calm baby. Rarely fussy, he spent most of his time quietly observing his surroundings, his icy blue eyes sparkling with curiosity. Wriothesley found this trait endlessly fascinating and would often spend hours simply watching his son’s inquisitive nature at work.
You and Wriothesley were a seamless team when it came to parenting, balancing your responsibilities to both Cameron and the Fortress of Meropide. When Wriothesley was busy with his duties, Cameron was perfectly content in your care. Likewise, when you were called to perform your job as an interrogator, Wriothesley often retreated to his office with Cameron sitting on his lap. There, father and son would share quiet moments—Wriothesley sipping his tea, Cameron clutching a toy as he mimicked his father’s serious demeanor.
Like every first-time parent, Wriothesley experienced the highs and lows of fatherhood. Some nights, his past demons would awaken him, flooding his mind with fears of inadequacy. But those fears always dissolved as he watched Cameron grow—celebrating his son’s milestones, witnessing his small successes, and marveling at the honorable young man he was becoming.
In those moments, Wriothesley knew he had done well, that there was nothing to fear.
“Well, since we have nothing to fear,” you said one evening, a playful glint in your eye, “I suppose it’s time for me to announce that I’m pregnant again, huh?”
Lyney
Lyney liked to believe that even if you hadn’t met in this life, your souls would have found each other in another. Even if you belonged to different worlds, the thread of fate that bound you both would transcend time and space, drawing you together. It felt as though an invisible red string—one only the two of you could see—connected you, weaving a tale written by destiny itself. For Lyney, it was undeniable that the stars had aligned perfectly to lead him to you.
The love he held for you was unconditional, unwavering, and unshakeable—an immutable truth in the fabric of his universe. But that certainty deepened, expanded, and transformed the day you gave him the greatest gifts of his life: your twin babies, Quentin and Corinne.
Everyone in Fontaine already knew Lyney was a devoted husband. From the earliest days of your relationship, he had made your connection known, never shy about showcasing his affection for you, whether privately or in public. When your pregnancy was announced, his pride only grew. His characteristic smile became brighter, his steps more buoyant, as he walked through the streets of the hydro nation with you by his side, radiating joy and treating you as if you were the most precious treasure in the world—much to your delight.
His affection for you remained unchanged during your pregnancy, but now it was accompanied by an even greater attentiveness.
Lyney anticipated your needs and desires before you could voice them, always eager to ensure your comfort. His innate talent for understanding people made him not only a caring husband but also, as you would soon discover, an exceptional father.
And exceptional was truly an understatement.
You had only ever seen Lyney’s tears once—on your wedding day, when his eyes glistened with barely restrained emotion. That changed with the arrival of the twins. As he cradled his newborn children for the first time, tears streamed freely down his cheeks, his voice trembling as he whispered, “They look so much like you. They’re beautiful.”
Indeed, Quentin and Corinne inherited almost all their features from you, save for Lyney’s striking violet, cat-shaped eyes. Far from being disappointed, Lyney was overjoyed—he believed no one in the world was as beautiful as you, and he was delighted to see that reflected in his children.
Fatherhood transformed Lyney into an even more devoted man. Despite the challenges of balancing his duties with the House of Hearth and his magic performances, often requiring him to travel far from home, Lyney rose to the occasion with grace. He made it a priority to support you, especially during the sleepless nights. Whether it was feeding, changing diapers, or comforting a fussy baby in the early hours, Lyney was always there, sharing the responsibilities of parenthood without hesitation.
From the start, it was clear that Quentin and Corinne had distinct personalities. Quentin’s boundless energy reminded Lyney of his own enthusiasm, while Corinne’s calm, quiet demeanor mirrored Lynette’s. Lyney adored them both equally, cherishing the moments when Quentin’s giggles filled the air or when Corinne snuggled into his embrace for a nap.
While Lyney relished the thought of showing off his children to the world, he prioritized their privacy while they were young and vulnerable. He kept his family close, shielding you and the twins under his protective wing while teaching them to care for each other and grow into independent individuals.
Magic and illusions were constants in your household, with Lyney delighting in performing small tricks for the twins. Their wide-eyed reactions and gleeful laughter were the highlights of his days. As they grew, Lyney made it clear that his love and support were unconditional. No matter what paths Quentin and Corinne chose to walk, he would be their greatest supporter.
Though Lyney sometimes feared that the world might dim the sparkle in their eyes, he vowed to do everything in his power to protect their innocence. His actions, words, and unwavering love ensured that they knew, every single day, just how deeply he cared.
Neuvillette
In the beginning, it was a surprise for the people of Fontaine to see their reserved and dignified Iudex walking through the capital’s streets at your side. That shock only deepened a few years after your marriage, when the front page of The Steambird featured you with a slightly rounded belly, accompanied by an exclusive interview about your career and personal life. The issue flew off the shelves, with sales as abundant as the waters surrounding the hydro nation. Charlotte, ever the savvy journalist, wasn’t the least bit surprised—Fontaineians, after all, had an insatiable appetite for juicy gossip.
While the interview revealed little to sate the public’s curiosity, it didn’t stop them from spinning wild and absurd theories about your life. You, of course, found their speculation amusing and even played into it for your own entertainment. Neuvillette, however, didn’t share your sense of humor. Rumors about his supposed "lack of sensitivity" or imagined scandals involving his name often resulted in rainclouds replacing Fontaine's sunny skies.
The truth, hidden from prying eyes, was that you and Neuvillette had been planning to start a family for quite some time. However, the uncertainties surrounding his draconic heritage made the journey a cautious one. Neuvillette’s greatest fear was putting your health and safety at risk for a selfish dream. It was only after much reassurance, support, and medical guidance from Sigewinne that the two of you felt confident enough to take the leap. The result? The arrival of your beloved daughter, Éveline.
To say Neuvillette was a helicopter husband during your pregnancy would be an understatement. His meticulous care and constant attention, though rooted in love, sometimes left you feeling smothered. His devotion to even the smallest details, while appreciated, occasionally pushed your patience to its limits. Yet, when the time came, and you saw him cradling your newborn daughter in his arms, all the frustrations melted away.
At that moment, Neuvillette revealed a side of himself you had never seen before—a serene, passionate love that only his daughter could inspire.
Fatherhood, unsurprisingly, suited him perfectly.
In those early days, he rarely left Éveline’s side, instinctively anticipating her every need. Whether it was his centuries of caring for the Melusines or simply his natural instincts as a father, Neuvillette’s devotion was unwavering, and you couldn’t be more grateful.
Éveline inherited much of your physical appearance but unmistakably carried Neuvillette’s draconic traits, including his calm yet commanding personality.
Unsurprisingly, Neuvillette was fiercely protective of your daughter, allowing only a select few to meet her during her first months. His philosophy was simple: love meant protecting, and he couldn’t bear the thought of anything happening to her.
One secret you cherished—shared only through photos and private moments—was Neuvillette’s tendency to transform into his draconic form during his rare nights off. The sight of his massive dragon figure curled protectively around tiny Éveline as she slept was enough to melt your heart. Though she was growing older, these tender moments continued, with Neuvillette showing no signs of wanting to let go of such precious rituals.
Neuvillette’s love for his daughter was evident in his every action. Though a man of few words, his affection was shown through countless gestures, whether it was a comforting hug, a gentle pat on the head, or quiet moments spent together. Under his guidance, Éveline grew up in an environment filled with warmth, where affection was as natural as breathing.
Even with the immense responsibilities of his role as Fontaine’s Chief Justice, Neuvillette made sure to be present for every milestone in Éveline’s life. Patiently and lovingly, he guided her, teaching her to become a person of integrity, fairness, and a noble heart. Through it all, his devotion as a father shone brighter than any duty or title—a testament to the boundless love he held for his family.
.
.
a/n: i intended to rewrite kazuha's part, delete his solo post and add it here but it'd be very troublesome because some people has read already. even though i wished to let it all together i'll let it like the way it is already. furthermore, i don't know if it's gonna turn into a series since my will to write disappears as fast as it appears. but if so, i'll only write for these four men.
please let me know if there are any mistakes ;)
edited: nov/2024
2K notes · View notes
unstable-samurai · 6 months ago
Text
LOVE IS INTENTION
pt.2: A long Dinner With The Frogs
Sana x Male Reader
word count: 18k
part 1
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The superintendent's office resembled more a funeral chamber, suffocated in constant dimness. The cold, relentless glow of fluorescent lamps was the only thing piercing the darkness. The smell of stale coffee and musty papers permeated the air, a perpetual reminder of decay. Smith, with dark circles that looked like craters on a face sculpted by exhaustion, stared at the superintendent. Frustration was the only visible mark on his worn expression.
"Superintendent, we need to talk about the case of the victims," Smith said, his voice heavy as lead. "The fourth woman was found today. The modus operandi is exactly the same as the other three. Unless you haven't noticed."
The superintendent, the personification of coldness and impassivity, leafed through the documents before him with an almost supernatural calm. His eyes slowly rose, fixing on Smith with his well-known bony and unfriendly face.
"I saw the report, Smith," he said, his voice as cold as the room. "But this last victim had a Dharma Wheel symbol. That’s a new detail, don’t you think? It might indicate it's not the same killer. Don't jump to conclusions."
"Oh, so now we're collecting exotic symbols?" Smith retorted, acidity dripping from every word. "I understand your concern, but the rest of the details match perfectly. The profile of the victims, the crime scenes, the way they were approached and killed. This can't be a coincidence, unless you prefer to ignore it."
The superintendent maintained his calm and steady gaze on Smith, as if watching a detective character from a black-and-white noir film.
"I agree there are similarities, but the introduction of a new element might suggest a change in pattern or even the actions of a copycat. We need to be cautious, Smith.”
Smith narrowed his eyes, his hands clenching into fists on the table. “The victims were found in desolate locations, all in seldom-visited urban parks. All four women were between 25 and 35 years old, Caucasian, short in stature, and had a history of ‘nightlife’. The approach was meticulous. Do I need to remind you how it was?” Smith didn't wait for a response and continued: “First, the killer drugged them with benzodiazepines to incapacitate them without raising suspicion. Then, he tied their hands and feet with nylon ropes and strangled them with a thin wire, possibly a piano wire.”
Smith’s voice remained merciless, necessary to make the superintendent understand his point. “The bodies were left in specific, almost ritualistic poses, with their hands crossed over their chests and their eyes open. The only difference in this case is the Dharma Wheel symbol, marked on the victim's forehead with something that seemed to be a cauterization tool, as the forensics confirmed.”
"Dharma Wheel," the superintendent repeated, with a slight inflection of curiosity. "If we initially thought we were dealing with some kind of complex, puritanical misogynist sneaking around brothels, now what is it? A religious fanatic?"
Smith took a deep breath, trying to organize his thoughts. “Well, the Dharma Wheel is a Buddhist symbol, representing cosmic law and order. But it also has mystical connotations. Some believe that incorporating this symbol into a ritual is an attempt to impose a kind of purification or karma on the victim. As if the killer were trying to justify his actions, giving them a higher meaning, almost... religious. Damn, I don’t know. I’ve never been a spiritual guy.”
The superintendent frowned, clearly skeptical. "So you think the killer sees his actions as a form of divine justice?"
"It's a possibility," replied Smith, with a spark of intensity in his eyes. "No detail is added by chance. If the killer included the symbol, he might have evolved in his thinking, or he’s trying to send a message. Maybe he believes he’s correcting some moral imbalance. Sees himself as some kind of Messiah or enlightened one. We need to understand his mindset to anticipate his next steps.”
“And what if we’re dealing with a cult?” questioned the inspector.
"A group of people walking around in white robes killing women would attract a lot of attention, don’t you think? But I admit there might be something bigger behind it. Though it’s still too early to raise such a suspicion. In any case, waiting for another corpse is not a brilliant strategy," Smith insisted. "We have a clear pattern in four cases. We’re dealing with a serial killer. If it’s a cult, we catch one and we catch them all. We need to adjust our operation. The team needs to know we’re dealing with someone methodical and dangerous, unless, of course, you really prefer to wait for another corpse."
"Are you suggesting we formalize this?" asked the superintendent, unperturbed.
"Yes!" affirmed Smith, determined. "Let’s change our mode of operation and inform the team to update the patterns we have. We need to be prepared to anticipate this killer’s next move, with or without the symbol."
There was a note of desperation in Smith’s voice, something even the superintendent, with his impenetrable emotional armor, could not ignore.
"Very well, Smith. Let’s formalize the change and reinforce surveillance in the suburbs. But keep your eyes open for any variation in the pattern. It happened once, it can happen again. Of course, if it’s really the same person. We can't rule out anything," agreed the superintendent, his tone remaining icy. “All this is weighing on me, Smith. I can’t afford to stay in the same spot.”
"Of course, superintendent. We’ll catch the bastard," replied Smith, exhausted. “Well, I think I’ll get some coffee, if you’ll excuse me.”
"Get some sleep, Smith," advised the superintendent, his voice as cold as a tombstone. "We’ll need a better spirit than this to deal with this case."
“I need to sort out a few things first,” Smith said, opening the office door. “After years in this profession, sir, your body gets used to and even learns to function in exhaustion.” And with his usual stubbornness, Smith left the room.
Although the conversation had ended, the funeral-like atmosphere lingered in the air, heavy and striking. The dying cries of the cold wind lashing the window glass seemed to protest against the sick city, as both men prepared to face another long night with no easy answers.
You waited for the document to save automatically, then saved it again manually. Trusting automation 100% has never been your style. You closed the MacBook screen and pushed the chair away from the table, rubbing your tired eyes after three hours of nonstop writing. The now-empty coffee bottle had been your greatest ally in this torturous and solitary mission. All true artists are, at some point, masochists. You heard this from a close friend who was also a writer. A word wizard, you considered him, despite the man never achieving the success he deserved. He was always sensible in his ponderings and could ridiculously well use sex as symbolism for any topic he was discussing. A damn depraved genius is what he was. You wish you had paid more attention when he said function should give a blowjob in form, not the other way around.
You gave a deserved stretch after so many hours sitting, feeling terribly tired, and, unfortunately, there was still a long time until nightfall. It was your third day in the cabin; on the first night, you slept poorly because the place was new, your body and mind needed to get used to such abrupt (though carefully organized) isolation. On the second night, you slept poorly because, well, you don't know why. Just a weird feeling of not being alone, something or someone watching you in the darkness of the room, a sudden perception of there being something else in this place. Whether it was a damn Wendigo or the witch of the woods, you weren’t sure, but regardless of who it was, you were going to sleep well that coming night, no matter the cost.
You took off your clothes, standing in your boxers in front of the bedroom mirror. Not bad for a man about to turn 40, truth be told. You always looked younger than you actually were, and some people found it impossible that you were over 35. For some reason, it was sad to stare at yourself half-naked in front of a mirror, so you refocused and put on your running clothes, the idea being to exhaust yourself to the point that at night you would die in bed, and nothing would bring you back to life, demon or spirit.
Perhaps you drafted the character Smith in such a tired and exhausted way so that he wouldn’t think more astutely than your own mind was capable of at that moment.
In the kitchen, you ate your banana with oats and took your creatine. Deafening silence. Leaning on the sink, you looked around the interior of the cabin; the only thing separating the kitchen from the living room was a counter. There was a small bathroom next to a small bedroom, and nothing more. It was a modest and rustic treasure, and you were more than happy to invest your money to renovate the entire cabin’s plumbing. Artesian well, submersible pump, lift piping, cistern to store water and distribute it to the points of use, pressurizer, and all those filters with strange names and different types of filtrations that, in the end, made it seem like the groundwater had passed under Chernobyl before reaching your cabin. But the bottom line was: drinkable water straight from the tap.
The nearest town was 12 km away. It was almost certain that no one was in the other cabins in the area, as most belonged to hunters and hunting season had not yet opened. The others, the ridiculously large and expensive cabins of rich folks wanting to enjoy nature without giving up extreme comfort, were apparently unoccupied, considering that the vacation season for most people with conventional jobs had already passed. In a way, this made you one of the only slackers in the region.
‘Artist’ might be a less degrading word.
As you headed to the cabin door, you were surprised to notice a small green thing on the wall near the window. As you approached, it moved. You were about to go for a run without your glasses, so eagle vision didn’t match your eyes at the moment. But getting a little closer, you realized it was a frog. When the little visitor noticed your presence, it ran up the wall to hide in an opening between the window and the wall, the spot where it probably came through. Shy little fellow.
“I’d better not see you around here at night, buddy,” you warned it, trying not to sound threatening.
Well, you didn’t hate frogs, but you weren’t a fan either. There was something about them that deeply bothered you, and if it weren’t for that, you might even consider them adorable creatures. The problem was their unpredictability; they could either run away when they saw you coming or suddenly jump on you. It’s not like you were afraid of frogs, maybe just the poisonous ones, for rational reasons, but those were rare to find by chance. The real problem was the feeling of being caught off guard by one of them; it was irritating to you. And this had roots in your tumultuous childhood. As a child, you hated spending holidays at your grandparents' country house because almost every night some frog would jump onto your bed, waking you from deep sleep in the worst possible way: cold, sticky feet on your face. It was always a challenge to get the frogs out of the room, and with all the adults asleep, you couldn’t turn to anyone. A small battle you had to fight alone every night. If only it were daytime, but damn, at night. Why did things seem so much harder at night? Once, three frogs jumped onto your bed within an hour. You woke up the next day with dark circles too deep for a 12-year-old boy and a lot of irritability in your voice. After that misfortune, you started sleeping with the room light on, even after leaving the country house; a habit that triggered issues with your uninterrupted sleep. That was when you first noticed that one event could trigger another completely random one. However, after two months, your father discovered the room light stayed on all night and forced you to turn it off at bedtime, making you lie in bed swallowed by darkness, dreading the sneaky steps of those amphibians so cute yet so damn annoying. It was a pretty embarrassing thing to admit. Ultimately, an irrational fear of something harmless, a product of the unconscious or a malfunction of the reptilian brain, where reason doesn’t operate, only primitive instinct or some crap like that. Regardless of what it was, the sensation of those little cold feet on your forehead was still incredibly vivid in your mind. No wonder you always admired Tiana's courage when she kissed that frog.
The fact was you’d prefer fat, slow toads crawling around your cabin to sneaky frogs inside it. At least this one in particular was smaller than usual, and it looked at you with bulging, curious orange eyes.
“Get out of here, little guy. The insects are outside,” you informed it with leniency, but the green fellow stared at you with a clueless look.
You headed outside the cabin. The fresh air filled your nostrils as the wind tousled your hair. The day was cloudy. According to the weather forecast, the week would be very rainy. You stretched before starting your run; your route would be to walk to a lake five minutes from the cabin and then run around it while listening to your rock playlist. After that, you would have to go to town to buy a new air filter for the generator, and maybe new spark plugs, as the current ones didn't seem to be working properly since the generator was consuming more fuel than you had previously calculated.
Which was strange because it was new.
Oh, and masking tape to cover that crack so the little green guy or one of his friends wouldn’t come back to bother you.
As you walked there (the background music playing in your ears), you revisited the idea of your story in your mind. It was a crime thriller, your first adventure in the genre, perhaps not as commercial as the books Grandma Agatha Christie wrote, tinged with a gloomy and almost nihilistic atmosphere, if not for the satire of the thing in some moments. The draft of the first chapter seemed good enough to you; it set the tone the story would follow. Smith, the classic detective destroyed by his own job and with a few vices, was quite fun to write because of his sarcasm, and the slight satire you intended to put in the subtext of the story lightly worried you about how the audience would receive the book. It wasn’t serious and dark, nor was it a comedy, or a proper satire, but rather that hard-to-reach tone in art: the bittersweetness of real life. Detective Smith cracked good jokes, but despite that, he was a guy committed to his job and, above all, focused on catching the serial killer. Obsessed, so to speak. Which often leads to character flaws and missteps along the way. A human.
Just because what he says is funny doesn't mean he isn't serious.
That was how you wanted to continue the story, and you needed to remember to never underestimate the reader to do it right and stay on tone. The fact that the story only really begins after the fourth murder was different and interesting, placing the reader in the middle of the mess would make the pace intense, while the past events would be given to the reader through flashbacks. The idea could work, as long as you don't ping-pong between the past and the present.
Before you knew it, the lake already stretched out before your eyes, calm and majestic. As you approached, it became clearer, even though distant things weren’t very precise on your radar. Near the shore, you started to run. The sensation was invigorating, close to absolute freedom, making you smile to yourself as all the irrelevant things seemed to fall behind. Perhaps this was the beginning of your solitude, after all. Finally erasing that weird feeling of resentment that had taken over you since you arrived at the cabin, a sense of being somewhat sick, with an inexplicable urge to vomit. And all because of damned Facebook forcing you to see a picture of your ex-wife, remarried, holding her baby in her arms. Countless times she said she didn't want kids… Yet there she was, looking like the happiest woman in the world. Without you.
And you without her! Happy in your solitude, the perfect return to your writing career, except for that one small, insignificant detail. It was all fine as long as you kept running because with every step: all those stupid things grew more distant from you.
Well…
Which actually didn’t make sense.
You were running in circles.
And just when you were about to complete the second semicircle around the lake (man, you must have been really into that solo from Shine On Your Crazy Diamond not to notice earlier), something reflected inside the lake, blinding your vision. You stopped running to see what it was and had to squint to see clearly; truth be told, it took a while for you to believe there was someone swimming alone in the lake at the far end from where you stopped running. You thought it could be anything else, but well, you weren't blind yet. The person had long hair, which could be black, dark brown, or even light brown, darkened by being wet. And you were almost sure it was a man. Thinking with common sense, no woman would be swimming alone in a cold lake in the middle of the forest. Maybe in a teen horror movie where a hot young girl lures a guy or a group of them into a deadly ambush; complete with over 30 minutes of explicit violence, numerous creative deaths, and lots and lots of nudity. You wouldn’t buy the ticket, but you’d watch it on some streaming service on a random night. Thankfully, something like that would never happen in real life. Right?
You paused the music and looked around. There was no one else nearby, and the lake was completely silent, the person swimming slowly and stealthily, like a crocodile — ah, I get it! The person was diving constantly in the lake, which explained why you hadn’t seen them easily.
You resumed running, determined to turn the second semicircle into a full circle. Maybe you’d interact with the person in the lake if you got the chance, but you didn’t think it was a good idea to deliberately bother them in the middle of their dives. You also avoided looking too much at the lake, knowing that person must have noticed your presence from the beginning, so you just decided to ignore the unusual situation and go on with your life.
You completed the second circle by passing by the diving person, but it was nearly impossible not to sneak a glance. That’s when you saw on the lake’s shore some clothes that looked — holy shit! — feminine.
And, of course, the fucking phone that reflected the sunlight in your face.
Your fear grew as your eyes identified each piece. Sweatshirt, jeans, sandals…bra…panties…
This woman couldn't possibly be naked, could she?
Splish!
She suddenly emerged to the surface, tossing her hair back and wiping the excess water droplets from her face. Her breath was heavy as she filled her lungs with oxygen again. The sight was as strange as it was beautiful, like a painting with indecipherable forms, a mirage in an oasis.
“It can't be… Damn it! No, it can't be!” you stammered, your mind going blank.
“Hi, dear! Isn’t it a shame we always meet in such cold weather?” Sana asked, excited to see you. “You’re sweating a lot, huh? Why don’t you stop for a bit and come swim with me?”
She was submerged up to her shoulders, and the faint sunlight piercing through the gray clouds penetrated the lake’s surface, creating a vision of pure delirium. Through the clear water, you saw Sana’s body, refracted and distorted by the rippling surface. Her arms moved gracefully, and each movement seemed amplified and softened by the water. The ripples created a hypnotizing effect, making parts of her body appear to change shape and size. It was as if Sana was wrapped in a cloak of liquid glass, the details of her body dancing and fragmenting into kaleidoscopic patterns. You were mesmerized by the sight, and your mind, often too associative for your liking (a lapse consequent of your work), made you compare Sana to-
“Calypso!” you suddenly said. “You look like some kind of freshwater Calypso. Beautiful and terribly lonely here in this lake.”
You weren’t flirting, just trying not to show the mortal fear you felt at that moment. A mere defense mechanism.
“And you are like Ulysses. You seem not to have been content with my love,” she said. “But unlike him, you don’t have another woman waiting for you far from here. So you have no reason to run from me.”
You squatted to observe her closely. Despite everything, you couldn’t help but watch her, fascinated — perhaps her naked body contributed to it.
“Actually, Sana, you’re more like a limnatide, you know? Those are the nymphs that inhabit lakes. Salmacis was a limnatide."
“You’re so smart. I never get tired of hearing you talk,” she said casually, just to please you. “But who is Salmacis? I don’t remember her.”
“Oh, you know, she’s the one who raped and cursed Hermaphroditus by merging their bodies into one,” you explained and saw her smile fade. A small victory. Standing up again, you asked, “What the hell are you doing here? And how did you find me?”
“A magician never reveals her secrets,” she said, running her hand through the water, making it ripple.
“You know I can call the police, right?”
“And what will they arrest me for?” she asked, seeming very amused by the situation.
“Stalking.”
“And what are your proofs, darling?”
“I have witnesses who can testify they saw you at the book launch. It’ll be easy to prove since your name was on the list. At the very least, they’ll find it odd we meet again in a new location almost 2,000 km from where we were before.”
“Is that all?” she asked, laughing. “Honey, I think you don’t know how things work. And the proof of a real threat? You can also add the security camera footage from the hallway, where they can see me entering your room at night and leaving only in the afternoon the next day. That will help you a lot, Mr. Integrity,” she flashed you a smug smile that made you look away for a moment, because it was beautiful, Sana was beautiful, and you were very angry with her at that moment.
“You know it’s illegal to swim naked, right? This isn’t a damn nudist beach.”
Sana squinted and smiled; she was really enjoying this argument or whatever the hell this conversation was.
“I thought I was being accused of stalking, now it’s public indecency?” she questioned, caricaturingly putting her finger on her chin. “Look, I think you even have better chances with the second option, although it probably won’t result in anything substantial. I can already imagine my defense saying something like,” She cleared her throat and changed her posture. Simulating a formal tone, she continued: “‘I do not understand that the accused, with her conduct, intended to shock and violate the decorum of the man who witnessed the scene. In my view, the defendant was bathing to refresh herself, however, she did so in a place exposed to the public, though remote, once she believed she was alone at that moment due to the cold weather, which was not inviting to most people, besides the popular hunting season had not started on the date of the incident.’ And I can go on: ‘despite having taken the risk of being seen naked, I see the defendant’s conduct as naive, with no offense to be punished under the law, as she did not commit any obscene gesture.’ And it can get better, look-”
“I get it!” You exclaimed, irritated. “You’re very smart, Sana. I admit that. But know that anything reckless you do will be used against you in court.”
Her expression seemed to change a little.
“I was acting like a peacock, dear. I just wanted to show you my hidden feathers. Believe me, I don’t want us to get to that point.”
“But seriously, where the hell are you staying? It’s 12 km from here to the nearest town and I haven’t seen any tire marks around except my pickup’s.”
“I have a cabin nearby.”
Hearing that, you swallowed hard. It was fucking difficult to keep your head in place in this kind of situation, you simply didn’t know what to think. Simply didn’t know.
As if this insanity wasn’t enough, Sana did nothing to help by displaying her small and delicate body, a structure that seemed almost sculpted at first glance. Her build was slender, with subtle curves that accentuated her femininity without exaggeration. Her skin was smooth as porcelain, slightly pale and flawless, with a natural glow that captured the light like a deity.
Her shoulders were narrow, gracefully shaping into thin arms and delicate hands. Her breasts, though small, were perfectly proportioned, firm and slightly lifted, complementing the harmony of her torso. Her belly was smooth and flat, leading to a finely chiseled waist that gently widened to form narrow hips.
Sana’s legs were long in proportion to her body, slender and well-toned, ending in small, delicate feet. These details were still clear in your mind. One night had been enough to capture a bit of her essence. Writer’s habit.
“That’s a lie. There’s no cabin nearby. I would know.”
“It’s true. Don’t you want to go there with me? I can prepare a picnic basket and we can eat here by the lake. Like our own blue lagoon. Isn’t it cute?”
That was too much for you.
The laugh escaped your mouth like a cough, compulsively laughing in front of her.
'Just because what he says is funny doesn’t mean he’s not serious.'
“Sana, you know there are companies eyeing this lake, right? They want to buy the surrounding area to stock fish in that water and make a fucking recreational fishing park.”
“In that case, it would be epic to fight against the privatization of this lake together. Like a couple of activists.”
“Take it easy, Yoko Ono,” you said while thinking about what to do. The fatigue made everything harder. You asked as sincerely as possible, “You’re not going to kill me, are you?”
“I’m as sad as you are, but this was the only way for us to have some time alone. Give me a chance to explain everything and I—”
“What’s your last name?”
“What?”
“What’s your last name?” you asked, irritated. Maybe the direct approach wasn’t the best option, but you were incredibly impatient.
“Please, let’s have dinner at your cabin tonight,” she said, completely ignoring your question. “I’ll explain everything. You’ll get to know the real me. You’ll know my last name and much more. I just don’t want you to be afraid of me. Please.”
“It’s hard not to be afraid when everything you do is the most psychopathic thing a human could do.”
“You don’t understand. It’s hard for me. I don’t know how to act like other people, but I’m trying. There are so many little social conventions that are hard to remember.”
“How did you know about the perfume my ex-wife wore? Fuck, I was so stupid to think it was all just a blessed coincidence!”
“You mentioned it in an old interview. The question was: ‘Is there a smell that brings you good memories?’ and you answered that it was that perfume. The one your ex-wife wore since your first date. The dress… There were pictures of her next to you wearing it.”
“You’re a freak, Sana.”
“Wait! Let me fix this.”
She started swimming towards the shore.
“Stay away from me!”
Sana stopped.
“I’m alone in this world, and I have nothing to lose,” she suddenly confessed. “I literally have no one. Except for you.”
“You don’t have me! You never did. You don’t even know me, Sana! You made this up in your head. You need help, do you understand? You need a lot of help!”
“I just need you... Wait, where are you going?!”
“To town! I swear to God, if I see you again, I’ll call the police.I don't give a fuck what I'll need to do to prove you’re a danger.” You spoke, then turned your back and started walking away from the lake.
Then, in the distance, Sana called your name. You shouldn’t have looked. But you turned towards her again, Sana walking slowly in the land, every drop of water lazily trailing down her curves, as if even nature wanted to feel her.
“I have nothing to lose!” she repeated the warning. It was a warning from the very beginning.
And that vision was dangerous evidence: Sana’s body was exactly as you remembered.
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The smell of damp earth mingling with the freshness of the surrounding trees. The dirt road stretched out before you, winding between tall trunks and dense branches that formed a natural tunnel. The crunch of the wheels on the gravel and the sound of the old pickup truck’s engine echoed as the only constant sound in the forest, occasionally interrupted by the distant call of a bird or the cry of a small mammal.
As you progressed, the trees began to thin out, leaving larger gaps between them. The sunlight, once filtered through the canopy, had disappeared, giving way to a light rain. The dirt road turned into a narrow paved highway, with the dense vegetation replaced by open fields.
On the horizon, spaced-out farms began to appear, with wooden fences marking pastures where cows and horses grazed lazily. The sky grew darker. Rows of rain-laden clouds marched towards you, and sporadic thunder sounded like war drums. The highway, now straighter, ran parallel to rows of crops that stretched as far as the eye could see. The landscape was dominated by shades of green and gold, occasionally punctuated by red silos and barns.
A few kilometers ahead, the first signs of the town emerged. A small gas station, a grocery store, and a few modest houses lined the road, signaling the approach to the urban area. The main road led directly to the center of the rural town, where life seemed to move at a slower pace.
You drove to the hardware and auto parts store, parked your old pickup truck, and looked both ways before entering the store, the feeling of being watched now believable enough to heed what you previously considered paranoia. There was only a short, elderly man in the store, paying for his purchases and leaving. You walked to the counter to speak with the attendant, a young guy with acne, poor posture, and a cap with the store’s name on it that didn’t fit properly on his head.
“Good afternoon, bro. Tony’s Hardware and Auto Parts. How can I help you?”
“Are you Tony?” you asked, skeptical.
“Nah, man. Tony’s my uncle, I’m Johnny.”
“Okay, Johnny. I need an air filter for a generator.”
“Sure thing. Do you have a sample of the air filter?”
You put the piece on the counter, and Johnny looked at it for a moment, then went to the shelves behind him and spent two minutes searching for the right model.
“Here it is, man. All set!”
“Thanks. Look, I was having issues with the spark plugs in the generator. Yesterday, it took several tries to start it. Then I opened the generator and saw the spark plugs were a bit dirty, I cleaned them, and it started working again, but the generator isn’t running at full power. Do you think the problem could still be the spark plugs?”
“Hmm, could be, buddy. I’m no expert, unfortunately.”
“Also, it’s consuming more fuel than it should.”
“Hmm, yeah, sounds like it could be the spark plugs. I’d recommend buying new ones and replacing them, just to be safe.”
“Do you think I can do this without fucking up the generator?"
“Just shut everything down and don’t go touching random wires. I trust you.” Johnny said, giving you a false sense of confidence.
“Look, you seem like a smart guy.” Actually, he seemed kind of dumb, but he had the profile you were looking for. “Do you know if it’s easy for someone to hack a person?”
“Ah, man, I don’t know anything about that stuff. My brother’s the tech guy. But, I mean, it depends on who this someone is.”
“Someone very dedicated and willing to learn, let’s say.”
“In that case, they could spend hours on internet forums reading about it, man. The information is out there for anyone, no lie.”
“So, hacking someone remotely isn’t too difficult, right?”
“Yeah, pretty much.”
“And if you had physical access to their devices for a while?”
“Oh man, that’d be a piece of cake! There are some programs you can install on someone’s computer or phone that stay hidden among the files, like a virus, and this software sends a link that opens a page with all your folders for the hacker to access remotely… wait a second,” he said, his expression changing suddenly, “is someone hacking you, or are you trying to hack someone?!”
“The first one.”
“Ah, what a relief. I mean, damn, man, that sucks! You should, like, go to the police or something, right?”
“Right now, I don’t think the police can actually solve my problem. I don’t want to do anything rash,” you tried to explain. “By the way, have you seen any Asian girl, also not from around here, walking around town?”
“Look, man, you can bet if there was a hot Asian girl around here, I’d know.”
“Can you do me a favor?” you asked, and Johnny leaned over the counter to listen. “Can you and your brother look up some info about someone online for me? I’ll pay you.”
“Hey, man, that sounds shady as hell. I don’t know about that.”
“I’m not the creepy one here. There’s a girl, and she’s, like, an obsessed fan of mine. Somehow she found out I was here and followed me. She’s probably at some hotel in town, and I’m staying in a cabin near Crystal Lake. I need to know how dangerous she is. But I couldn’t find anything when I searched her name.”
“Bro, don’t be crazy, call the cops already!”
“The police won’t do anything efficient without solid proof of a real threat. If I involve the authorities, she might get pissed and easily bypass any protective measures just to, you know, get revenge.”
“Wait, if she’s a fan, then you’re famous, right?” he connected the dots, the genius. “I think I’ve seen you in some action movie…”
“I’m not an actor. I just write stories.”
“Oh man, you’re a writer, bro? That’s so cool! Are you friends with Stephen King?”
“Friend is a strong word. We’ve exchanged ideas at a conference.”
“Damn!!” he exclaimed. You could predict what was to come. “Look, I’m shaking, I’m such a fan of his, man! I’ve seen almost all the adaptations of his books. Can you get an autograph from the master?!”
“If you do what I asked, I can try.”
“Deal.”
You shook hands, and the devil knew this wasn’t the best of alliances.
I won't find anything better than this in this place.
“Damn, man! I just remembered I don’t have any of his books at home. I’ll need to buy one.”
“I’ll get you one.”
“Cool. Don’t worry about paying, I’ll cover it. I won’t screw you over or anything. So, buy the It book, it's my favorite film of the adaptations of his books.”
“Alright, alright! Forget about that for now. The girl’s name is Sana, keep it in your memory.”
“Got it. Do you have a picture of her or something? My brother will need a face to know if he found the right person."
You had deleted all those selfies she took with your phone while you slept, but there were still the photos from the book launch, where everyone gathered for a group photo. You took your phone out of your pocket and selected the best picture, Sana was way in the back, she knew how to be discreet when she wanted, you zoomed in on her face and showed it to Johnny.
“Holy shit man! She’s really hot! Look, I wouldn’t mind having a girl like that spicing up my life,” he joked, but you didn’t laugh along.
“Give me your Instagram, I’ll send you this photo so you don’t forget her face."
And he did so.
“When I get some info, I’ll message you.”
“Is your brother trustworthy? You better not fuck with me, okay?”
“Hey, man, you can count on me. I can see the exhaustion in your eyes. My brother is solid. Actually, I’d like to ask you one more thing besides King’s autograph. So, me and my brother have a podcast, it’s about movies and stuff, if you could give it a shoutout, speak highly of it, it’d be awesome. We’re getting close to 100 concurrent viewers during live streams, man. It’s growing nicely.”
You looked for the joke, but even Johnny wasn’t laughing this time. You were really desperate to go through with this.
“Alright.”
“And look, if you do that, it’ll mean a lot. It’s almost like a pact, you know, we’d never screw over someone who helped our podcast, you know? So you can feel safe with this. For real.”
“Fine, Johnny. I’ll trust you.”
“Oh, one more thing!” You tried not to roll your eyes. “You said you’re staying in a cabin near the lake, right? I recommend you buy everything you need, especially fuel to keep the generator running, because you might get stuck there for a while. There’s a hell of a storm coming, and when that happens, that road gets all muddy and almost impossible to drive on, and with that pickup of yours,” he pointed through the store window where your truck was parked, “you’re not going anywhere until the rain stops. That’s why no one stays in that area during the rainy season. You got unlucky.”
“Damn, I should’ve rented a better car. I thought this one would do the job.”
“Sometimes humility is our downfall, bro… Hey, that was a damn good line, you should write it down for one of your books. Consider it a gift.”
“Uh-huh. Thanks for the heads-up. I’ll stop at the gas station and buy some gas cans.”
“Alright. When my shift ends, I’ll go home and tell my brother everything, he’ll do some digging on your fan. Maybe we’ll find some police records or something, who knows, maybe a lawsuit she’s involved in. I’ll get something for you, man. Trust me.”
You were starting to regret this idea.
“Don’t tell anyone about this, got it?”
“The secret between friends dies with the friends. Take care.”
You paid for the air filter and spark plugs, then left the store. As you got in the car, Johnny waved at you through the store window. Everything happened too fast for you to realize the level of recklessness you’d inflicted, but, damn, there were no manuals teaching how to deal with this kind of situation. Either way, you didn’t have a good feeling, and it was hard to tell if it was a bad omen or just fatigue. The roads would soon be messed up, and once you returned to the cabin, you might not be able to leave for a while.
Was it a sign from the universe or just bad luck?
Well, whatever it was, you still needed gas.
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The trip to town had been frustrating but necessary, as thanks to Johnny's warning, you managed to stock up on gasoline for the generator. And food, of course. If everything you bought wasn't enough, then you would resort to self-cannibalization while writing an essay about the experience to be published posthumously. Now, the truly frustrating part of the trip had been your search for Sana. You looked for her in the tiny hotels, inns, hostels, and even motels. Fortunately, the town was small and there weren't many lodging options. Most of the conversations with the receptionists went like this:
“Good afternoon. I’m looking for a friend of mine, Sana. Is she staying here by any chance?”
“Good afternoon, sir. I’m sorry, but we can’t disclose information about our guests for privacy reasons.”
“I understand. It’s just that she’s not answering her phone, and I’m worried. Could you at least confirm if she’s checked in recently?”
“I really can’t confirm if someone is staying here, but I can try to help in another way. What’s her full name?”
Here is where you’d seem like the most suspicious guy in the lobby:
“Look, it’s funny, I always forget her full name. The last name is difficult to remember, and I’m not really good with names in general. But there can't be many women named Sana around here, right? I just want to know if she’s okay.”
When you gave this flimsy excuse, the receptionists would give you a very judgmental look.
“Let me check something for you. Just a moment.”
Then they’d start checking the system. Or pretend to.
“I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t provide that information. However, if she left any message for you or indicated she was expecting someone, I can let you know. Leave your name and contact here.”
“I understand, thank you. Actually, I’ll keep trying to call her. Sooner or later she’ll have to answer, right? Thanks again for your help.”
You and the receptionist would exchange an awkward smile, and you’d leave knowing she was watching you from afar.
Leaving your information at receptions would only plant evidence of you stalking Sana, and just God knows how things would go if that ended up in court. Besides, if Sana were really staying in one of these places, she would never contact you. It was pretty clear that wouldn’t work, but you had to try anyway. The idea of Sana being in another cabin in the forest was inadmissible and didn’t make sense to you. During the days you spent in your cabin and wandered around the surroundings, you didn't notice any smell of food being prepared, no human noise, no footprints, no trash. But... she had invited you to her cabin, which you logically refused. There might be some kind of trap waiting for you there; you couldn’t trust her. The most plausible thing then was that Sana's cabin was relatively far from yours, hidden and camouflaged in the dense forest. Your mind elaborated a thousand and one theories as you returned to the comfort (not so comfortable now) of your home.
Then an absurd idea crossed your mind and you caught it with your hand, while the first drops of rain hit the car's windshield.
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Night fell over the forest with the storm.
It took you a little over an hour to change the air filter and the spark plugs, but when you finished, the feeling of satisfaction at hearing the generator's engine purr like an orange kitten made you smile, cutting through some of the tension that was stiffening not only your muscles but also your spirit.
A big thank you to YouTube tutorials.
Anyway, the joy was short-lived, the raincoat you were wearing felt like a black shroud given to those summoned to explore the borders of hell. You needed to find out if there was indeed another cabin near yours. It was safer to go during the day, but you couldn’t risk Sana seeing you. Who knows, maybe there was some surveillance equipment in her cabin, although it was unlikely to keep such a thing running 24 hours with just a simple generator. But images of you sneaking around her cabin would be all Sana needed to blackmail you.
What the fuck am I doing…?
Where were the boundaries between your pragmatism and your neurosis?
You thought that by the time you figured it out, it would be too late.
With one hand you were holding the flashlight, with the other you opened the cabin door.
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As you ventured deeper into the forest, your anxiety grew in a pulsing manner, like a parasite inside you, but a good parasite, pulsing in your temple telling you to turn back. What lay ahead were trees, trees, trees, and more trees. No sign of a cabin.
The forest was nothing more than a labyrinth of shadows. You advanced with uncertain steps, the flashlight trembling in your hand. The rustling of leaves sounded like distant laughter. You looked back, but the darkness had already swallowed the way back. If there was a cabin, you should have found it by now. There was no sign of an open field where a cabin or any structure could be placed. Your heart beat erratically, in a sudden delirium you wondered if you were alone or if someone was watching you. The forest closed in around you, it was hard to admit it, shit, it was terrifying to admit that you were lost. Your breath quickened as the cold bit into your skin, rationally, the despair set in. Then the flashlight in your hand flickered, the weak light trembled like a candle about to go out.
No, no, no!
You pressed the button repeatedly, but the beam of light weakened even more. The uncertain steps made your foot encounter something solid on the ground. You stumbled and fell. The pain was sharp enough to know that the injury was serious, at least given the situation you were in. After all, what the hell was that? A twisted root? A rock? It didn’t matter, it wouldn’t change the fact that now your left ankle was sending you jolts of pain, and standing up was torture, making you hate Sana with all your might. Limping in the middle of the dark forest like a stupid clown. You were tremendously irritated, an unexpected urge to drink seized you.
I could drink and die right after. I’d give anything for that. Fuck this life!
Suddenly, your hearing sharpened when you heard a terribly high-pitched sound coming from behind you. Screaming, screaming, screaming, calling you. It sounded like a… Whistle? It couldn’t get any better. Maybe a soccer match was going on nearby and you were the idiot who didn’t buy a ticket. The whistle seemed to have a life of its own, it was continuous. Well, someone was killing their lungs trying to save you. Either that, or the witch of the forest was whistling in a very, very weird way. You followed the direction of the incessant whistle, except for the regular pauses for whoever was whistling to catch their breath. Sporadic lightning occasionally revealed the way for you, giving you glimpses of a trail you had already traveled, although, the way it was shown – fleeting and blurred by the wet lenses of your glasses – seemed more like hallucinations in your head. But you had to believe you were returning to your cabin. The whistle. The call.
It was Sana, wasn’t it?
A lightning bolt flashed across the sky like at a large outdoor festival, in the distance, still through the trees, you saw your cabin flicker in the dazzling light.
The whistle sounded like a gesture of despair.
The trees gradually spaced out, the surroundings became more visible, the ground less uneven, you were out of the dense forest, your flashlight failing as it tried to illuminate in a single beam of light the figure of the girl dressed in a long dress, holding an umbrella with one hand and a whistle with the other, looking like a character straight out of a Koreeda film.
You walked up to her, your left foot practically dragging on the ground, you couldn’t think of anything to say, the anger being crushed by gratitude, the fury devouring the complacency alive, the urge to cry usurping the relief.
“Let’s go inside!” exclaimed Sana urgently, sharing the umbrella with you as you both rushed to the cabin (well, you tried).
The door opened with a dry snap. You exhaled like a dying horse, throwing yourself onto the cabin floor to lie down, practically your white flag against the wild nature. You didn’t want to think about anything. There was nothing to think about. There was no reason to think. You’d been doing that your whole life and were tired of it. You wanted to throw your brain away. Pull the back of your head like a damn mailbox and remove that electrified ball of flesh. There had to be a way to make it stop thinking.
Well, there was a way, but it was, let’s say, off-key.
You started to get up, your damn ankle sending you jolts of pain to remind you of your stupidity. You looked at Sana, beautiful, while you: destroyed.
“There’s no cabin, is there, Sana?” you asked, pronouncing each word slowly, trying to space out the anger you felt. But it was hard. God, how hard it was.
“I’m sorry!” she said, crying. Fuck, she was already crying. “I didn’t think it would go this far. I can explain everything. I’m sorry! You were out for so long! I was so worried about you. Are you hurt? My God, I’m sorry!” she repeated, screaming.
“Get out of my cabin. Now!”
There you were, throwing her out again.
“Please, no…”
“I said I’d call the police if this happened again. Get out, you psychopath!” you yelled at her, and Sana stepped back, scared.
You approached her in a threatening manner, making her walk backward, cautiously, and with each step she got closer to the door. Before she realized it, she was at the doorway.
“You better disappear before the police show up,” you warned her, and then slammed the door shut with brute force.
You took a deep breath and closed your eyes. What a day. Everything fell apart so quickly that you didn't have time to see where you went wrong. Now 3% calmer, you noticed that the kitchen table was set, hot food, candles, the fireplace warm, two glasses, and a bottle of Coca-Cola (no wine for Mr. Writer). She had prepared dinner while you were facing the two longest hours of your life. Spaghetti carbonara. That's what it seemed like, at least. A relatively quick dish to prepare if you had made it before. The smell was great, the ambiance emphatically comfortable while the world outside was collapsing. It seemed intentional: a terribly cold end-of-the-world assaulting the planet and you denied shelter to one of God's angels. Even if she might be Lucifer's younger sister
Oh, come on, I'm not like that. She didn't deserve to die from hypothermia or whatever the hell.
You took off that stupid raincoat and went back to the door, leaned your head against the wood before deciding if you were actually going to open it or not. The primary mistake was opening the hotel room door that day, and here you were, repeating — now aware of what would happen — the same mistake, about to formalize a new heuristic pattern. And, fuck, it was really funny how one event could trigger another totally random one.
You saw Sana's face light up when the door opened, the glow of the lamps behind you reflecting in her brown eyes. She hadn't moved an inch since you expelled her. Because she already knew you would open it again or because she didn't know where to go?
"Come in before you catch a cold," you said, extending your hand into the cabin.
She seemed slightly confused by your kindness but entered immediately.
You asked her to sit on the couch while you quickly walked to the bedroom and grabbed two towels. You wrapped her body with the bath towel and started drying her hair with the face towel.
"Sorry, I don't have a hairdryer."
"It's okay. Thank you."
Sana's makeup was running down her face, a sad sight, but somehow, it became incredibly erotic on that precious face. Two beautiful lines running below her eyes, the mixture of eyeshadow and mascara, as if Sana had cried tears of dark indigo. A living portrait where the artist displayed his tragedy.
"Excuse me," you asked, and she allowed you to dry her face, cleaning one corner and smudging the makeup even more in another. "Why do you have a whistle?"
"Hmm, i found it here."
"Really? Well, it's actually the least weird thing that happened today."
"I saw you limping," she said, her voice still wary, like a child who knows they've done wrong and now has to face their parents. "Are you okay?"
"It's my fucking ankle. I think I tripped over some exposed root or something. I must have twisted it."
You hadn't taken off your boots yet to see the damage. After drying Sana's face, that's what you did and — oh boy —, it wasn't a pretty thing to see.
"Let me check," said Sana, kneeling with difficulty because of her dress. "It's quite swollen and red; it might turn purple. I'm going to press a little, okay?"
You gave permission, and the slightest touch made you groan and sigh, and maybe you were starting to go crazy because the pain that pulsed from your ankle was terribly pleasurable and stimulating, seeming healthy to self-inflict for your own satisfaction, like scratching a persistent itch. But you weren't quite insane enough to enjoy that kind of thing.
"I don't know where to start treating my ankle," you admitted, frustrated.
"Where's the first aid kit?"
"In one of those cabinets," you pointed to the kitchen.
Sana got up and went over to rummage through the cabinets. She soon found the small white box with a red cross on the lid. Sana opened the freezer and took out a bag of ice, grabbed some cubes, and wrapped them in a cloth, bringing everything back to the couch. Sana gently took your leg and raised it, placing it on a pillow on the coffee table.
"Open the kit and look for a painkiller," Sana said while holding the makeshift ice pack on your ankle. "Take ibuprofen if there's any."
Fortunately, there was.
"How long do you think it will take to heal?"
"It wasn't a severe sprain. Maybe two weeks. One, if you behave and take care of it."
"Are you a nurse?"
"No, but I took some classes on 'how to be a functional human being and survive in society.' Oh, do you need water to swallow the pill?" You shook your head. "Believe me, where I came from, I needed those classes. They just didn't teach us much about medications. For safety."
"You're my Annie Wilkes, I guess. But more attractive than Kathy Bates, at least." You joked, and the bitter sarcasm felt much like the taste of a horrible medicine you needed to take to endure the moment.
Sana chuckled, but she was still focused on her task.
"Don't be silly, I'm not going to keep you here or anything like that. I'll take care of you. It's my fault you got hurt, after all," she sadly admitted. Apparently, psychopathy wasn't her problem. Sociopathy, maybe. "I suppose you don't have a crutch here in the cabin," she said while rummaging through the first aid kit. "Tomorrow I can buy one... Oh, look, this elastic bandage will do for now." She showed you the small roll of bandage with a gentle smile.
"I wouldn't count on going to town tomorrow. With this rain, the road will be impassable. We're stuck here," Was it safe to pass this information to Sana? After all, you still didn't know her true intentions.
"Oh, I kind of suspected that. So, in that case, we'll improvise a stick for you tomorrow morning. We have plenty of wood at our disposal. Well, now I'll bandage your foot. This might hurt a little, but it will help," she warned, unrolling the bandage.
Holding your foot with one hand, Sana started wrapping the bandage firmly around your ankle, starting at the base of your toes and moving towards the heel.
As she worked, she made sure the bandage was snug but not too tight to avoid cutting off circulation. "I need you to tell me if you feel too much pressure or pain," she said, focused on what she was doing.
You smiled without realizing it. Her serious expression while focusing on the task was actually very cute. She had agile and gentle hands, and her care not to hurt you was evident.
Sana continued wrapping the bandage, overlapping the wraps evenly, creating stable compression around the swollen ankle. When she reached halfway up your calf, she secured the end of the bandage with the clips provided in the kit.
"Done," she said, observing her work. "Now we need to keep this elevated and continue applying ice. It will help reduce the swelling," she informed you, putting the makeshift ice pack back on your ankle. "We'll do this every few hours, 20 minutes at a time."
"You're incredible," slipped out of your mouth. You shouldn't be encouraging her. But you were voluntarily doing so.
"It was nothing. Now, I think we have some things to talk about, don't we?"
You smiled with your lips, a humble smile of Tiredness. Or a smile of defeat, like someone who, with a certain pride, acknowledges their weakness towards something or someone. In your case, it was her. Sana.
You patted your thighs and sighed. Was there anything else to do, after all?
"Bring the spaghetti over here. I'm not going anywhere.”
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Terribly fascinated you were. Maybe it was too early to say 'terribly enchanted'. You were enveloped by the long, deep, melodramatic lull that was Sana's past. Slightly distressed to know how it all happened until it triggered the moment where you both were, but it was necessary for the story to be told from the beginning to fully understand the impulsive acts of this girl - this fan - passionately obsessed with you.
Oh, and by the way, the spaghetti was good. But a bit cold.
You looked at Sana, melancholic and distant while she watched the flames in the fireplace. She had gone to the bathroom to wash her face properly. Now with a clean face, nothing was covering it. Determined to delve into her wound for you.
“First of all, my last name is Minatozaki,” she said, in a mere attempt to break the ice. You told her it was a beautiful last name. “I was 11 years old when everything started to fall apart,” she began in earnest. “My mother suffered from severe depression. She was always absent, even when she was present, if that makes sense.”
“It does make sense,” you commented. “And your father?”
“My father was a ghost, always working. He never had time for me. Soon I started to feel invisible, as if I didn’t matter. Then the anger started growing inside me. I became more and more impulsive and aggressive,” Sana paused. She looked at you, as if to make sure you were really listening. “They didn’t know what to do with me. The school couldn’t handle my behavior. The breaking point was when I pushed a classmate down the stairs over some silly argument. I don’t even remember the reason anymore, just that she broke her leg. That’s when they decided to institutionalize me.”
“Damn… That must have been terrible for such a young child.”
“It was. At first, I hated being there. The psychiatric hospital was a cold and strange place. The atmosphere forced to be welcoming, it was an expensive hospital after all, but if you’re there alone, it’s terribly distressing. I felt isolated from the world. The other kids had similar problems, but no one really connected. Everyone was fighting their own battles there.”
You tucked a strand of hair behind Sana’s ear and then asked:
“And what was your routine like there?”
“We had classes inside the hospital. There were teachers, but the classes were small. They tried to adapt the teaching to our needs, but I always felt like I was missing something, you know? The occupational therapies and the playful activities helped pass the time, but it was never enough to fill the void.”
“I imagine. And the treatments?”
You didn’t realize it, but there was a calmness and kindness in your voice that motivated her to continue.
“At first, they diagnosed me with Oppositional Defiant Disorder. I was always provoking the adults, causing trouble. But as I grew older, my symptoms evolved. In adolescence, I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. My emotions were a roller coaster. I felt empty, but at the same time, any small thing could trigger a storm inside me.”
“It must have been a constant battle.”
“It was. They tried everything to control my anger and impulsiveness. Psychotherapy, behavioral therapy, medication... Every day was a struggle to stay stable. I was always being watched, always under surveillance. I had few chances to feel really free. Over time, my parents’ visits decreased. Not that I cared, we were never close anyway. The only things that brought me some relief were books. And that’s how I discovered you.”
“Me?” You swallowed hard. “Well, sooner or later we’d get to that.”
“Yes. Your books were an escape for me. I read and reread every word, trying to find some meaning, some connection with myself. When you wrote about pain, about loneliness, I felt like you understood exactly what I was going through. Catarina, the protagonist of your first book, when she attempted suicide and was hospitalized… That story changed me… But not all of your books were allowed for us.”
“It’s understandable, God knows how many triggers that could unleash in vulnerable people. But wait, how did you get my books then?”
“There was a doctor, Dr. Collins. She sympathized with me. I think she saw something in me that others didn’t. She brought me your books secretly, even those considered too sensitive for patients like me. Besides, she managed to get teen magazines where you were interviewed. The questions were trivial, but for me, every detail about you was a treasure.”
With a slight smile, you said:
“I was contractually obliged by the publisher to do those things. I don’t dare to flip through any of those magazines nowadays,” You saw Sana’s face soften a bit. “So, Dr. Collins was your accomplice, right?”
“In a way, yes. She also knew I tried to listen to your radio show. There were nights when I stayed up late, trying to fix the signal on the old hospital radio to hear you talk about movies with your friend. Sometimes, I even managed to hear a full episode without missing anything.”
You held her hand. A gesture that made you uneasy, but Sana’s response by squeezing your hand made it seem right.
“I never imagined my books and other nonsense I did could have such an impact.”
“They did. I wasn’t joking when I said that day that you were my peace of mind. But anyway, my parents died in an accident shortly before I left the hospital. I was the only one to inherit their estate. Living in society I found myself lost and lonely again. I tried to find someone like you, but no one was enough. They all disappointed me. They were older, like you, but they just wanted to use me. I hate admitting this part of my life, but I slept with several men hoping to find one who made me feel what you made me feel. It didn’t work, so that’s when I decided I needed to find you, needed to somehow make you understand.”
Your gaze shifted from hers. Terribly melodramatic for your taste, terribly visceral, and terribly your complacency acted without your command.
“And now we’re here. And I finally start to understand the depth of what you went through, Sana. I'm sorry about your parents, I had no idea. What a fucking journey you lived..."
She gave you a sad smile.
They were the beautiful eyes of a tragedy looking at you.
“Yes, we’re here. And maybe, now that you know I’m not a monster, we can really get to know each other.”
The hand of reason tugged at your ear. Was this beautiful, seemingly vulnerable girl manipulating you again?
Either way, there were still loose ends.
“And at the book launch, when you appeared… Your dress, the perfume… Everything so intentional… Why did you do that, Sana?”
She looked down, embarrassed.
“I planned everything. I wanted you to notice me, to see me as someone special. I thought if I wore the same dress and perfume as your ex-wife, I could make you feel the same as you did for her. It was a desperate way to try to get your attention, to make you fall in love with me like you did with her. I know it sounds crazy, but… I was willing to do anything for you to notice me.”
“Sana, that is…” What was that? So many layers, so many branches, you didn’t know what you were feeling anymore. You didn’t know how to judge. Even having written troubled, depressed characters, the real bastards, you never approached from a psychoanalytic perspective. You were just a person writing other people. It was never your place to judge your characters’ actions. It was never your place to judge anyone. “I understand a little better now, Sana. You just wanted to be seen, to be loved.”
A sudden desperation took hold of her.
“And you’re the only person I felt could really understand that! That’s why I did what I did. I didn’t want to scare you, I just wanted you to see me.”
You wanted a drink of something. Your throat dry in that cold weather. God, how a whiskey would be nice. Just one glass. Maybe two. Why not? You asked Sana to serve you a little more of that damn Coke. Your eyes were a little heavy, the train of thought slightly losing the objective.
Oh, more questions…
"you were bluffing when you invited me to your cabin, correct?"
"That's right. I knew you would never agree to go there with me. My real plan was to have dinner together, and slowly I would explain everything to you. Like now."
“But Sana, I need you to explain to me: if there’s no other cabin, where the hell have you been all this time? I swear to God you were scaring the shit out of me. I went to several lodges but couldn’t get any information about you. Then suddenly you show up here at night like out of nowhere. I hope that psychiatric hospital isn’t really the fucking Xavier Institute.”
“I’ve been here the whole time, silly. Watching you,” hearing that sent chills down your spine. “Sorry, I know it sounded weird. Just kidding. But it’s actually kind of true.”
“Are you a ghost or something?”
“I’ve been hiding in the basement.”
But what the hell is she talking about?
“Sana, this cabin doesn’t have a basement.”
“Did Mr. Goss tell you that?”
Jesus fucking Christ, she never stopped surprising.
“How do you know the name of the former owner?” you asked, trying to disguise the fear on your face.
“The night we slept together… You know I took your phone. I checked everything that might be important. I saw your emails about the cabin documentation and all that. At the same moment, I looked for nearby cabins I could rent, but there were none available. Well, the original listing was still active, it was favorited in your browser. The description didn’t mention anything about a basement, nor did the documentation. Since it was so well camouflaged and without hiring an inspector, you would never find out.
"And how did you know?"
"I was watching that interview you did for Book Tools that happened shortly after our first meeting. You mentioned you were planning to go on vacation and write a bit in nature, but you were going to delay it a month to get better organized."
"I guess I'll never comment on my personal life again. Holy shit..."
"Well, I decided to take advantage of that time and see your cabin before you did. It was easy to find; people gave me information without suspecting a thing. I was researching how to build an even simpler cabin on the other side of the lake for us to be 'together,' and I found information about the history and importance of the cabins in the area on the county's website. Among that, there was a blueprint showing how the cabins were originally designed. Most were built according to this model, and it included the existence of a basement."
"But why did Mr. Goss omit that?"
"After staying in the basement, I have the answer. Down there, you can see some structural irregularities. I think he feared that if they were discovered, they could cause legal problems or decrease the property's value. So, he decided to simply forge the documentation, stating that the basement had been dismantled and no longer existed since doing so for real is quite expensive."
"I could sue that old man for this!"
"I read your conversation with him about the purchase. You said it would just be a retreat for a few weeks. He probably thought that by the time you discovered the truth, he would already be six feet under."
You paused to digest things, refilled your glass of Coke, and downed it in one go. Calmer, you then asked,
"Structural irregularities, huh? That could be dangerous... And with these rains..."
"Despite the irregularities, I think it's safe enough to stay there for a while. You can deal with it later. If it hasn't collapsed before, it won't collapse now."
"That's a spirited way of looking at things."
For some reason, this made her smile.
"Someone has to, right?"
"Yeah, I suppose so... Anyway, where's the basement entrance?"
"Under this rug," Sana replied, pointing to the shaggy rug in the living room.
"Of course it would be in the most visible place in the cabin. I feel like an idiot."
"There's an additional exit from the basement that leads directly outside, behind the cabin. It's where the old plumbing system was. It's camouflaged by vegetation, so it's hard to see."
"I really bought Area 51, huh?"
"The rest is no mystery. Through the external exit, I brought in food, blankets, a sleeping bag, clothes, and everything else I needed. I knew the basement had small ventilation openings, so there was enough air to breathe. And most importantly, an outlet to charge my phone."
"Damn! That's why the generator was consuming more than I calculated."
"Er, sorry!" she said, then theatrically bit her lower lip as if that could make up for things. Maybe it could. A little.
"It's been a long day. A long and weird day. But, in a way, it's nice to have you here. I guess."
That seemed to spark something in Sana's mind.
"Really?"
"While I was wandering lost in the forest, I felt strangely alone. I think being stuck here for days would be too lonely for my taste. At some point, I would wish for company."
You smiled at Sana, her eyebrows raising in surprise.
"Since I talked about my past, why don't you tell me a bit about yours? You know, the stuff that never made it into interviews. What might only be revealed in your biography."
"Well, know that you outdid me in the difficult past department. There are some things that were never told. Some painful memories. But it's already very late. How about I tell you tomorrow while we have a picnic by the lake? We need to save some for the next chapters."
"Great idea!" her smile lit up, and at that moment, she seemed like nothing more than a girl to you. "And what kind of story are we writing here?"
"I don't know... I want you to help me figure that out."
"You're... not afraid of me?"
"Not anymore. I think you got what you wanted. Come here."
You opened your arms a bit. Sana, like a wary puppy, gradually gave in and approached. She sat sideways on your lap, slowly, uncertain, looking at your ankle extended on the coffee table.
"Does it hurt?" she asked.
"No. You can sleep with me in the bed tonight. Or on the couch, if you prefer—"
"In the bed. Please."
"You don't need to do the weird perfume and dress thing anymore. From now on, I want you to just be yourself. Can you do that?"
"Of course! Of course I can! But... you don't hate me anymore? The way you expelled me earlier... The anger on your face... it broke my heart."
"People are strange, Sana," you began, the prelude to a speech you didn't know you were capable of giving, "feelings, they are weird as hell. A single feeling can have a million facets," you explained, and Sana looked at you with a mix of fascination and curiosity. Dangerously adorable on your lap. "The simplest way to see this is to think of a child who, after years of living with their parents, is ostracized for some reason, be it for coming out with their true sexuality or taking a political side contrary to the family's. It's easy to imagine the child's emotional pendulum swinging between love and hate for their parents."
"I think I get the gist of it."
"The point is: I understand what it means to find solace in something to take refuge from the untamed wild world. That's what I did with writing. And, in your case, you found refuge in me. It's our first point of connection."
Sana's hand trembled as it reached your face, her lips pressed together and her eyes shining with tears.
"You're exactly as I imagined," she said in a whisper, the most her voice could manage, as if every cell in her body was working to keep her from falling apart at that moment, "there's no other explanation but fate. It brought us here."
You thought that Sana might have nudged fate a bit to bring things to this moment. But so far, what you had seen of this girl with such a fragile appearance was a tragic and relentless force of nature, so maybe she did have her cosmic connection with destiny.
You brought Sana's face close for an Eskimo kiss. She seemed shy about the gesture but undeniably loved your initiative, and the sensation of her skin against yours, her weight on you, and her warmth enveloping you was irresistibly addictive. Sana's fingers played indiscreetly with your hair, her smile directed at you... When was the last time someone had smiled at you with love? It all felt so pure, so beautiful, so romantically erotic (the privileged view right in front of her neckline, her small and perfectly formed breasts pressing against the fabric) and so, so good. God couldn't be testing you, could He? Because, well, this was beyond any human limits.
Her eyes marked your mouth as a target, but she couldn't go further because what preceded the desire was a need to affirm something greater.
TOUCH ME
KISS ME
The words that flew like magic into your ear that night, now implied by a thread of feeling. You were kissing Sana, rediscovering that the truth can be a sweet ruin or, perhaps, she was the last soul to fill your emptiness. The kiss started gentle but soon intensified, becoming a deep and wet exploration. Each movement of your tongues carried the urgency of months of repressed desire. Mutual. The way Sana's lips molded to yours, the slight pressure and shared moisture creating an almost chemical reaction that could lead to combustion. Your fingers intertwined in her brown hair while Sana's fingers traced soft lines on your nape, sending shivers down your spine. She moved closer, pressing her breasts against your chest as your tongues intertwined, exploring and teasing. Her taste was a refreshing mix of sweetness and desire, an intoxicating combination that made your heart race.
Suddenly, you felt her lips open a bit more, and her tongue slid into your mouth with a firm motion. She started sucking on your tongue, pulling it gently into her mouth, creating a warm, wet suction that sent waves of pleasure straight to your core. The sensation was almost overwhelming, indescribable, indeed. Sana could leave a writer speechless. But the fact was that every movement of her tongue created a deeper connection, a current of desire that seemed to run directly to your cock.
"Your taste is delicious. I've missed it. It makes me want more, so much more," Sana whispered against your lips, fatally beautiful as a thread of saliva spontaneously trickled down her chin.
Sana's eyes were closed, her face surrendered to the pleasure of the moment as she did a perfect job driving you crazy. Each time she sucked your tongue, you felt a pull in your stomach, an almost primal need to fuck her hard in response to what she was doing to you.
Sana moaned softly, her sweet sounds of pleasure resonating against your lips, increasing your arousal, your hands gripping her delicate waist firmly, as if fearing she might escape. But Sana had no intention of going anywhere. She wanted to carnally explore every part of you.
You pulled her body closer, your hands sliding over the smooth curves of her back until you reached the firmness of her ass, soft through the texture of her dress, squeezing it shamelessly, feeling Sana's response in a muffled moan.
She released your tongue for a moment, just to murmur against your lips: "I want your cock fucking my tight pussy soon. It's getting so wet for you, my love."
"You have no idea what you're doing to me," you murmured, your voice husky, your mind... completely devastated by her.
"Oh, I do," she replied, a smile of pure satisfaction on her lips before diving back into your mouth. And in that moment, with Sana sucking your tongue with an almost painful precision, you knew you were totally, irrevocably surrendered to her.
"Now... Is this real? This time, is it real?" Sana asked, as if speaking of a distant dream, her eyes half-closed in pleasure and longing.
"It's damn real," you replied, feeling your heart race uncontrollably. "I can't resist you anymore."
Sana shifted position, slowly sliding to face you, her legs delicately wrapping around your hips. Her eyes met yours, and the lascivious and determined gleam in them was unmatched. She began to move her hips in a slow, sensual rhythm, pressing against your cock. By then, it was painfully hard inside your pants, throbbing with expectation.
Sana moved closer to your ear, her voice low and sweet, whispering: "I can feel how much you want me." Her hot breath against your skin. The smile... completely disloyal.
"What you're doing to me," you groaned, your voice heavy with desire, "is more than I can bear."
You couldn't hold back any longer, and with eager hands, you pulled Sana's small breasts out of her dress. Her nipples were hardened, inviting, and you couldn't resist. With your hands, you gently squeezed them, feeling the soft yet firm texture. You teased them with your thumbs, playing, provoking. Your mouth soon found her nipples, and you sucked on them, nibbling gently, each movement drawing moans of pleasure from Sana. She arched her back, pressing her breasts against your mouth, wanting more.
"Oh, yes... like that," she moaned, holding your head against her breasts. "Mmm, you suck so well."
"You're so hot," you murmured against her skin, the words coming out between kisses and nibbles. "I want to devour you whole."
Your desire to mark that moment as yours came to the surface and, terribly vulgar and perhaps even pretentious, you tilted your head and sucked on Sana's neck, leaving a visible mark, tasting the salty flavor of her sweaty skin.
"You're mine," you whispered, your voice full of possessiveness, you noticed, "that's a fucking fact now."
Then a smile escaped your lips. Acidic and ironic, ricocheting right back at you.
"What is it?" Sana asked with a curious giggle.
"Nothing," you replied, avoiding mentioning that you saw the current moment as a contemporary and subversive erotic reenactment of the myth of Hermaphroditus.
Sana, equally possessive, marked you too. She bit and sucked on your skin, leaving marks that affirmed her possession. The sensation of her teeth against your skin was undeniably pleasurable pain.
Finally, Sana got off your lap and grabbed your cock, a gesture that could only mean one thing. You unbuttoned your pants, pulling them down along with your underwear, just enough to free your cock from the terrible web of fabrics imprisoning it. The excitement in Sana's eyes increased, and she lay back on the couch, a look of satisfaction on her face.
She started giving you a blowjob, moving her mouth skillfully and intensely. Her lips wrapped around your cock, her tongue exploring every inch. She began with slow, deliberate movements, teasing every throbbing vein. Each suction, each slide of her small tongue was a reminder that you were alive, that you were touching the edge of paradise.
"You're incredible," you groaned, throwing your head back, your voice full of pleasure. "Keep going... don't stop."
She used her hands to stimulate what she couldn't reach with her mouth, alternating between fast and slow movements. Sana then began to play with your balls, licking and sucking, alternating between gentle caresses and intense pressure.
"Oh, Sana... that's so good," you groaned, feeling the pleasure course through your body.
She looked at you, her eyes shining with desire and satisfaction. "I want to make you cum hard," she whispered, returning to sucking your cock with renewed intensity, while her hands continued to caress your balls. "I want you to fuck me so badly," she said, looking at you with a mix of desire and determination. "Let's end this wait."
"Fuck, let's!" you replied, knowing that surrendering to her had been your best decision in a long time.
You moved to the bedroom. With your fucked ankle, you knew some positions would be challenging, but the latent desire surpassed any pain. Slowly, you began to undress. Sana, noticing your difficulty, knelt in front of you, with a terribly indecipherable look. She unbuttoned your pants with deliberate sensuality, her fingers brushing against your skin, making your entire body shiver.
"Leave it to me," she murmured, sliding down your pants and underwear. On another occasion, with another person, you might have felt embarrassed, but this time it seemed so... normal? The last time you had shared this level of transparency and vulnerability had been with your ex-wife. Although only at the beginning of the relationship. Soon everything got so... strange.
After Sana helped you slide your injured leg into your pants, you managed to finish the rest yourself. Completely undressed, you kissed her deeply and lovingly, then slid both straps of her dress off her slender shoulders at once. The fabric rippled as it slid down on its own, revealing the beautiful artwork that was Sana's petite, half-naked body. The only piece of clothing that remained, and truly captured your attention, was the cute pair of panties she was wearing.
Totally intentional.
A pink pair of panties, almost innocent in contrast to the fervent passion she was capable of emanating, adorned with a small bow at the front. The thin fabric was damp, a clear evidence of how much she was enjoying the moment.
"You're so fucking hot, Sana," you murmured, your eyes fixed on that small detail that seemed to encapsulate all the desire and tenderness that made up Sana's essence.
She smiled, a shy yet mischievous smile.
"Do you like it?" she asked, her voice filled with sweetness and boldness.
"I love it," you replied, unable to resist her charm, running your fingers delicately over the bow, feeling the softness of the fabric. "And you're so wet," you added, your fingers gliding over the material, feeling her reaction in the slight tremor of her legs.
"That's the effect you have on me," she said, her voice almost a whisper. "And I used to masturbate thinking about you... Always you."
You smiled provocatively and slid your fingers over the fabric of her panties, feeling her dampness increase with each touch. Your mouth began to kiss and lick her belly. With slow and provocative movements, you started rubbing your fingers over the wet fabric, pressing lightly against her clit, without ever removing the panties.
"I can feel how excited you are," you murmured between kisses, your tongue warmed by her heated skin, each touch of your lips sending sparks of pleasure throughout her body. "You like it when I do this, don't you, Sana?"
Sana moaned in response, her hips moving involuntarily against your hand, seeking more friction. "Yes... please, keep going!" she pleaded, her voice trembling with desire.
"You want more?" you asked, already knowing the answer. "You want me to keep teasing you like this?"
"Yes, please," she moaned again, her voice full of need.
You continued to rub your fingers over the wet fabric, pressing harder, faster, until you felt she was completely soaked. The panties were drenched, the moisture trickling down the insides of her thighs.
"I can feel how much you want me," you murmured against her skin, your fingers now sliding along the edge of her panties, pulling them down slightly, just enough to tease but not enough to remove.
Sana panted, her moans loud and filled with pleasure. "Please, don't torture me anymore," she begged, her eyes closed, her head thrown back.
You obliged, finally pulling the panties down, exposing the glistening wetness of her pussy. The musky aroma of Sana filled the air, intoxicating and irresistible.
"You're perfect," you murmured.
"I want to feel you," she whispered, her voice laden with need. "I want you to eat my pussy. Look how creamy it is."
Sana propped her right leg on the bed and with two fingers she opened her tight pussy, and it was so delicious, so perfect, so, indeed, creamy.
In a moment of pure synchronicity, you both lay on the bed, as if connected by a greater bond, and assumed the 69 position. Sana positioned herself over you, her hot, wet pussy directly over your mouth. You started to lick her hungrily, savoring each moan that escaped her lips. Your tongue explored every fold, every inch, while your hands held her buttocks, pulling her closer to you.
"Yes! Lick my pussy! Just like that," she moaned sweetly.
As you savored Sana's creamy pussy, she enveloped your cock with her mouth, her tongue gliding over the head, mercilessly stimulating your frenulum, causing precum to leak out, which she loved. All the while, her hands massaged your balls, amplifying the sensation to the highest degree.
"Oh, fuck... If you keep doing that, I'm going to cum, Sana," you groaned, unconsciously thrusting your cock slightly into her mouth.
Sana then stopped sucking you and changed position.
"First, I want to cum on your face, love," she said, crawling over you, positioning herself, and opening up in front of your eyes until she finally sat on your face, her pussy now completely accessible to your tongue and mouth. You held her hips, guiding her movements as she began to grind against your face. Your tongue explored every inch, while your fingers caressed the insides of her thighs.
"I want you to lick me until I cum," she whispered, her voice trembling with excitement.
"I'm going to make you cum so hard," you murmured, your lips and tongue moving with precision against her.
Sana moaned loudly, moving her hips more intensely, pressing herself against your mouth. Her moans were loud and filled with pleasure, her body experiencing small spasms.
"Fuck, you're so good at this," she moaned, her eyes closed, the tension increasing.
Your tongue moved faster, firmer, each movement bringing her closer to climax. She held your head tightly, her fingers tangling in your hair, as her moans grew louder, more desperate.
"I'm almost there," she panted, her body entirely sweaty. "Don't stop, please, don't stop!"
With one last firm move of your tongue, you brought her to climax. Sana screamed with pleasure, her entire body trembling as she came intensely, her juices covering your mouth and face. You continued to lick her softly, helping to prolong her orgasm, savoring every moment.
"You're amazing," she murmured, still panting, that inherent satisfaction of making a girl cum taking over you.
Recovering, Sana slid down again. She began to ride you slowly, her movements erotic and calculated, each rise and fall rhythmic and sound. She leaned forward, her breasts bouncing as she increased the pace.
"You're so sexy," you groaned, holding her hips, helping her keep the rhythm. "Keep going, princess, don't stop."
She increased the speed, her entire body working to bring both of you to ecstasy. Her pussy tight around your cock, the heat and friction creating an indescribable sensation.
"Oh yes, Sana. Fuck me harder," you murmured, your voice hoarse with pleasure.
"I'm gonna cum... fuck, I'm gonna cum on your cock," she screamed, her movements frantic, her pussy pulsing around you as she reached orgasm, trembling with pleasure.
She collapsed on top of you, her head resting on your chest. You gently brushed a sweaty strand of hair from her face. Until then, you hadn't noticed how beautiful she was without makeup. You kissed the top of her head, a gesture she returned with equal passion by kissing your chest, saying: "I love you so much."
The room was dark, except for a soft light coming from the living room filtering through the half-open door, enough for you to see the sparkle in her eyes when she finally looked at you.
You didn't say anything. Words were unnecessary now. Instead, you let your hands do the talking, tracing the contours of her body, every curve, every perfect imperfection. She mumbled something inaudible against your chest, and you felt a smile form on your lips despite the fatigue.
She raised her head, her gaze serious but with a spark of something untamed. "Don't leave me," she pleaded, as if that were a real possibility. You smiled, kissing her lips, soft and prolonged, a kiss that promised much more than simple words could.
"I'm not going anywhere," you replied, the certainty in your voice unwavering.
You nestled close to her side, you behind her, your injured leg resting. You entered her again, slowly, savoring every inch that went in and out. She leaned back, allowing you deeper access. Your hands caressed her breasts, playing with her nipples as you fucked her from behind.
"Sana... I'm falling in love with you," you murmured, your voice laden with a strange possessiveness and love, a love you never imagined you could feel. But the act of kissing Sana's shoulder so tenderly while penetrating her could mean nothing but passion.
"You are my everything," she moaned, her voice trembling with pleasure.
You gripped her hip tightly, your thrusts becoming faster and more intense. The sound of your bodies colliding was erotic and highly stimulating.
"You're so tight... so wet," you confessed in her ear, your breath ragged. "I'm gonna cum, Sana."
"Cum, baby. Cum for me," she begged, her moans loud and filled with desire.
Feeling your climax approaching, you pulled out of her. Sana quickly knelt by the edge of the bed, looking at you with intense anticipation and lust., ready to receive your cum. You sat on the edge of the bed and started masturbating quickly, the sight of her so exciting that you were soon on the verge of orgasm.
"Cum for me," she whispered, her voice soft but urgent.
"I'm gonna cum," you groaned, your voice hoarse with pleasure and urgency. Sana smiled wickedly, knowing exactly what you needed.
"I want to feel you cum on my face," she whispered, her voice dripping with lust. "I want to taste you."
The sight of Sana waiting eagerly, her eyes fixed on you, made your cock throb even more. You sped up your strokes, your movements fast and precise, while she watched you, her hand casually caressing your balls.
"I want all your cum on my face, baby."
You felt the pressure building, each movement of your hand bringing you closer to climax. The moans intensified, your muscles tensing as the pleasure built to an inevitable crescendo. Sana looked intently, adorably seductive, ready to receive every drop from you.
When the orgasm finally hit, it was like an explosion. You let out a deep groan, almost a scream, as your body convulsed with pleasure. The first spurt of cum hit her face. Sana moaned with satisfaction, her eyes closed as she felt the warmth of your semen spreading across her skin.
"Oh yes, just like that," she murmured, her voice full of delight. "Cover my whole face." You continued to masturbate, each spasm sending more jets of cum onto her face, while she used her fingers to spread it, mixing it with the sweat still glistening on her skin. She opened her mouth, her tongue out to taste what she could, her eyes half-closed with pleasure.
"Wow! Fuck! that was fucking amazing," you groaned, reason slowly returning to your mind, your eyes fixed on the erotic painting in front of you.
When the spasms finally subsided, you stopped, panting. Sana looked at you, a smile of pure satisfaction on her lips, her face gleaming with your cum. She licked her lips, savoring the taste.
With a mischievous smile, you couldn't resist and, holding the base of your still-sensitive cock, started rubbing it on her face, spreading the cum already covering her skin. Sana closed her eyes, moaning softly as you slid the head of your cock over her cheeks, forehead, and lips, marking her completely.
"Yes, baby, rub that big hard cock on me," she murmured, her voice full of satisfaction. You rubbed slowly, savoring every moment, feeling the heat and moisture of her skin against your cock. Sana opened her mouth, licking the head of your cock, tasting the mix of your semen and sweat. You let out one last muffled groan, terribly sensitive.
"You look so hot like this, covered in my cum."
"I’m better than your ex-wife, aren’t I?"
"In ways that are immeasurable, princess," you murmured, your voice heavy with lust.
She smiled at your compliment.
"I guess I better wash my face before I go completely blind," Sana commented, her eyes half-closed. "Want to shower with me?"
"Sure! I- uh, I'll need your help anyway," you said, looking at your messed-up ankle.
"With me here, you don't have to worry, silly."
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After the bath, the curiosity to see what the basement was like was obvious and natural. There was no way to resist such a mystery, and Sana, still a little shy about the somewhat... reckless action, revealed the secret room to you. She pulled the rug, and to your surprise, there was nothing there.
“It’s really a secret passage because I can't see anything.”
“It’s very well disguised. Mr. Goss did a good job camouflaging it. Look, the trapdoor is framed in a way that it blends perfectly with the surrounding floor. Covered by the shaggy rug, it’s almost impossible to see with the naked eye, especially since the edge aligns with the floorboards, without any protrusion or visible handle.”
“Yeah, I see. Or rather, I don’t see a damn thing!”
“There’s a small opening that can only be accessed if you know exactly where to look. I used a thin blade like this one to lift one of the wooden boards where there’s a small concealed groove. Once I knew that, it was easy to open the trapdoor and hide down there.”
And that’s how she did her magic. You really would have died without knowing about that damn basement. Once the trapdoor was opened, there was an old wooden staircase leading down to a kind of concrete room; although previously neglected, it now seemed like a carefully arranged refuge, perfectly ready to secretly shelter someone. Sana helped you down the creaky and worn wooden steps, a slight and cold humidity pervading the air below, common in places that rarely see sunlight. However, the signs of a recent attempt to make the space habitable were evident in every corner.
The concrete walls, probably once gray and mold-stained, had been partially cleaned. Though still rough and marked by time, they were now free of superficial dirt, and some parts had been covered with old, worn but colorful tapestries, adding a touch of warmth and humanity to the environment. The cement floor had been meticulously swept, and a large, thick rug had been placed in the center, providing a more comfortable and insulated surface than the cold concrete.
In one corner of the basement, there was an improvised bed made up of a sleeping bag, washed cotton sheets, and a wool blanket to face the cold nights. Next to the bed, a book whose title you couldn’t read from where you stood, an almost finished open bag of chips, and a (possibly dry) can of iced tea, although you doubted Sana had actually drunk it cold.
Lightly rusted metal shelves leaned against the walls, housing provisions and essentials like canned food and bottles of water. Some clothes were carefully folded in one corner of the shelves, with some sanitary pads nearby. A small wooden chest with a rusty lock held Sana’s personal belongings.
“How did you bring all this down here?” you asked, astonished.
“It took time, but I’m patient.”
On the opposite side, an improvised washbasin with a metal bowl and a water jug for basic hygiene offered a minimum of comfort. Clean towels hung on improvised hooks, and a cracked but still functional mirror was fixed on the wall above the basin.
“Please don’t tell me you-”
“No way! I was using the cabin’s bathroom,” she replied preemptively. “I was mindful of your schedule, and even though you take a long time to fall asleep, once you’re out, nothing wakes you up.”
A small oil heater was strategically placed to combat the cold that seeped in at night through the concrete floor and thick walls, probably responsible for secretly consuming the generator’s fuel. Next to it, a simple wooden chair and a small table offered a place to sit and perhaps write or read, with a few books carefully stacked beside it.
Despite the age and condition of the basement, Sana’s effort to make it habitable was commendable. Every detail, every item carefully placed, reflected her urgency and care, a diligent effort to transform the basement into something minimally livable.
“This is absurd as hell, Sana. Completely insane… But... Well, I’m glad you won’t be sleeping here anymore. There weren’t any bugs, were there?”
“Thank God, no! When I cleaned, I only found cobwebs and abandoned moth cocoons. I couldn’t have stayed here if there were bugs. Ew!”
You managed a slight smile. It was funny to think that despite being calculating, methodical, and patient, mere insects scared her. No one was really safe from that irrational fear thing.
“Alright then! You’d better take all your stuff up,” you said. “I can’t think of any use for this basement. In a future renovation, maybe I’ll just close it up and fulfill what’s written in the document.”
“Nah, you should just reinforce the foundation and keep the basement,” Sana suggested, moving closer for a hug. “You never know when you might need a little place to store something.”
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You two were in bed. Sana, with your MacBook on her lap, was deciphering the draft of the first chapter of what might become your next novel. Untitled, without a definite form. She liked what she read, unraveling the unfinished subtleties that challenged the conventions of the genre. Letting her read the draft was a huge gesture, an exposure comparable to sex. And she knew that. She knew everything about you, after all. It was your goodwill gesture, a sign that you were open to her, willing to make this relationship stable, serious, healthy.
You had gone to the bathroom to brush your teeth. When you returned, Sana followed your steps with her eyes, waiting for you to lie down beside her again to ask:
"Promise you won't give up on me?"
"I promise. Sana, you're already strong on your own for having endured everything you have. And from now on, you can count on me to support you too. We'll break the circle together."
"You're everything I dreamed of and more," she said, hugging you, giggling.
"And you're an unexpected but very welcome gift," you comforted her in your arms. She was incredibly cuddly and emotional, which wasn't a bad thing. "So, I think we better sleep to enjoy the picnic tomorrow," you said, pulling Sana to snuggle into the pillow with you. "Damn, I'm completely exhausted, and it's partly your fault."
She giggled.
"And there's much more to come, Mr. Writer," Sana commented, turning off the lamp. "We can sweat a little tomorrow at the lake, if you know what I mean."
You fell asleep earlier than you imagined. Sana kept talking in your ear, excited about everything (you couldn't blame her), her words dissolving into the darkness. Her sweet, serene voice fading as you drifted off.
A perfect way to fall asleep, you thought, before slipping into slumber.
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Then a scream sliced through the night like a blade, cutting the silence and your eardrums. Sharp and piercing. Sana, in a leap that defied logic, turned on the lamp and flew out of bed. Her hands frantically groped the wall, searching for the switch. The raw light illuminated her pale face, wide eyes filled with fear, and trembling hands.
"What's happening?!" you asked, confusion shaking your head.
"Something jumped on me! Some kind of bug!"
Your eyes scanned the room, searching for any sign of movement. Nothing made sense, everything was blurry.
"Are you sure?"
"Of course! It jumped on my face. It was cold!" She was on the verge of tears, you on the verge of falling back asleep.
You got up with difficulty, each movement sending jolts of pain through your injured ankle. Your eyes fixed on the nightstand, where a small dark green figure stood on the right edge, like an unexpected sentinel.
"I see it."
"What is it?! You have to kill it!"
"It's just a small frog."
"You need to get it out of here!"
"I saw it before. It came in through a crack. I bought some duct tape to seal the hole, but I forgot to do it."
"It can't stay here!"
"Are you afraid?"
"It might jump on me again at any moment."
You laughed, a rough, low sound, almost a release of relief. You understood what she was going through, that primal terror of being attacked by something unknown in the middle of the night.
“Why are you laughing? That's not funny!”
"Hey, don't worry, this little guy won't disturb my girl's sleep anymore."
Slowly, almost ridiculously slowly, you walked around the bed, each step a struggle against the pain. You approached the small invader, the frog, still and cold. When you tried to touch it, it jumped straight onto your neck, like a biological missile. Sana let out a high-pitched scream, as if the frog had jumped on her.
"It's okay," you said, trying to calm her, but Sana was already at the door, ready to flee, eyes fixed on you as if you were her last safe harbor.
You approached the window, opened it, and a cold breeze hit your face, refreshing. Carefully, you removed the frog from your neck, feeling its cold, moist texture against your skin. You held it in your hand, offering it the vastness of the night outside.
"Go live a little," you said, with a flick of your hand, watching the frog leap to freedom. "It's all good now," you said, turning to Sana. "We can go back to sleep. In the morning I'll seal the crack."
"God, I think I hate frogs now."
You laughed again, a laugh that was both relief and exhaustion. The room finally sank back into silence, except for the soft sound of your breathing and Sana's, slowly returning to normal. Tomorrow, you thought, tomorrow you'll deal with the crack, but for now, the only thing that mattered was that she was safe and the terror had been expelled. And you... Fuck, you could get some sleep.
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In the kitchen, you were busy packing the picnic basket, feeling a strange happiness performing such a mundane task. It had been a while since you felt this way — almost like a young boy again, experiencing the thrill of a new romance. Everything would be different now. Fuck solitude, you would be happy alongside someone. And a simple yet significant action representing your care for this new relationship was in this picnic basket you organized. Every sandwich carefully wrapped, the biscuit container tightly sealed, each juice bottle adjusted, and the bowl of fresh grapes waiting for a decision...
You both believed that your ankle would indeed be 100% recovered in about a week or less. Fortunately, the damage wasn't that bad. Until then, you would walk supported by a broken broom handle, pretending it was the staff of an old monk in a cabin with satellite Wi-Fi.
In the bedroom, Sana stood in front of the mirror, adjusting her earrings with an untimely smile. The morning was heavily overcast, threatening rain, but you both were counting on some weather support for a few hours, and although the day wasn't bright, Sana was. Ready for a perfect day with you.
Everything, absolutely everything, seemed to be in place.
As she turned slightly to check her look from different angles, your phone on the dresser lit up with a notification. The flashing light caught her attention. Curious, she leaned in to see the message on the notification bar.
And then her world crumbled. The smile melted away from her face like hot wax. Everything around her slowed down.
You called out from the kitchen, almost singing: "Sana, what do you think? Should I take grapes or not?”
Her eyes widened instantly as she read the message, and for a moment, everything around her disappeared, leaving only a cold void. The happiness she felt evaporated, the fog in the forest remained.
In the back of Sana's mind, the read message echoed like a dark warning:
"Dude, stay away from that girl!!"
"My brother found out some creepy shit about her"
"Btw her real name isn't even Sana 💀”
You asked again from the kitchen, your voice sounding distant, almost like an echo:
"So, Sana? Grapes or not?"
She took a deep breath. She was a battlefield between panic and forced calm. The messages were deleted with fingers that didn't want to believe what they had just read, while she replied with a voice that could barely stay steady:
"Yes, take the grapes! I love grapes!"
She turned to the mirror again, but the image she saw was no longer the same. The sparkle in her eyes had disappeared; it was just the reflection of someone. It could hardly be called a face.
A mask.
A mask desperately trying to stay calm.
She put the phone back where it was, making sure the messages were indeed deleted and the sender blocked. Something would have to be done soon. She forced herself to smile again in front of the mirror to see if she could maintain it. But a crack slowly widened in her mind, threatening to shatter all the false stability she had built.
She left the bedroom, walking towards the kitchen with hesitant steps, trying to maintain composure. There you were, waiting, with the picnic basket in your hands and an expression of affection that now seemed almost cruel to her eyes.
As she approached, she simulated a smile, everything buried behind her beautiful brown eyes. She greeted you with a quick kiss and casually asked:
"Did you remember to put the strawberry jam in the basket, honey?"
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amourane · 9 months ago
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smitten
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pairing: yoon jeonghan x fem!reader
genre: fluff
w/c: 0.7k
summary: jeonghan is completely smitten for you and he refuses to admit it.
warnings: noneee
a/n: aaa i hope you guys like this <3 i wasn't gonna post two fics in a row but i whipped this one up in about half an hour so i hope you guys enjoy it! not sure if i should make it a mini series, lmk!
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Jeonghan found it hard to breathe with you around. He found it hard to focus, to concentrate. He had always been one to keep his cool, to stay calm and collected but ever since he met you all logical thinking had been thrown out of the window. He wasn’t a type of guy that would get nervous and he certainly wasn’t the type of guy that would get distracted. Jeonghan prided himself in being the stoic and very attractive star student at Seoul National University. 
So why did he find himself completely befuddled in front of you?
You who were so beautiful, so pretty, so gorgeous yet so annoying. He had never met another girl who would claw at his bones more than you. Your tinkling laugh and bright shiny eyes. It all made him go positively crazy and he couldn’t do anything to help that. You had this magnetic pull that would drag Jeonghan along despite his protests. 
His friends had all teased him for it. They had seen the way his cheeks would flush whenever you stared at him or the way he would look at you with the most lovesick eyes. Nevertheless, he continued to deny his affections. 
It didn’t matter anyway. You were too dense to notice how everyone seemed to snicker whenever you went up to Jeonghan or the way everyone would peer over their textbooks whenever you asked to partner up with the infamous student. You, who’s smile was so bright, failed to see how everyone could tell how smitten Yoon Jeonghan was for you even if he denied it. 
“Hannie!” Your voice echoed through the hallway and Jeonghan winced at the loud sound. His expression remained neutral as you came bounding up towards him with the most adorable grin on your face. “Guess who just got full marks on her test? Me!”
The test paper you shoved in his face made Jeonghan go cross eyes as he struggled to decipher your scrawled answers and the red pen the professor had marked with. The biggest thing that caught his eyes was the 100 in the top right hand corner. 
“That’s good Y/n.”
“Is that all you have to say?” You pouted as you removed the test paper from his face. “I worked so hard for that Hannie, I pulled all nighters and everything! I didn’t even ask you for any help, isn’t that impressive?”
“Yeah.” Jeonghan felt the cage of butterflies fly open in his stomach and he gulped. “That’s amazing Y/n but you really shouldn’t stay up revising, it actually decreases the chance of taking information in. You can enter sleep deprivation and it has a really high chance of simply going blank in exams and that’s not good at all you know.”
Your smile remained on your face as Jeonghan continued to rattle off the side effects of lack of sleep. You stepped closer towards him, only inches away. Jeonghan’s breath hitched as he stared at your pretty face. His eyes flickered to your lips and then your eyes. The eyes he could stare into forever and not get bored with. 
“Then you help me revise. I could use help from that brain of yours. I actually did go blank in my exam but it wasn’t because of sleep deprivation.”
Jeonghan knew better than to ask what but he couldn’t help the curiosity that was gnawing at his mind like a beast begging to be set free. He stared at you, your bright expression rendering him speechless as he tried to come up with words to say.
“What was it then?” He croaked out, voice trembling at the close proximity. “Why did you get distracted?”
You giggled leaning in closer so that your lips were brushing his ear. “You.”
Jeonghan froze, his whole body stood still like ice and you continued to giggle and he saw the way your smile seemed to grow bigger. His heart pounded in his chest as he watched you step back, the test paper still clutched in your hands. He felt his cheeks burst into flames as his jaw hung open in shock at your words. 
“See you later Hannie! I’ll pop over so we can exchange notes.” 
You waved him goodbye before skipping away as if you hadn’t just caused the poor guy to melt in his shoes. Jeonghan gripped his textbooks tightly and he tried to breathe in through his nose and out through his mouth. The beating of his heart could be heard in his ears and he tried desperately to calm himself down.
You were the only one capable of making Yoon Jeonghan grow completely flustered and he hated it.
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866 notes · View notes
little-diable · 5 months ago
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Broke my heart and called me pretty, won me back and called me his - Tyler Owens (smut)
Watched Twisters again and I simply needed to write another Tyler fic. I listened to "Pretty Slowly" by Benson Boone while writing this. Please like and reblog if you enjoyed reading this, your comments keep us writers motivated! Enjoy my loves. xxx
Summary: Tyler had ended his engagement to the reader years ago, all for her to chase her dreams. But when he turns up as a guest for her lecture, both find themselves thrown back into the love they still feel for one another.
Warnings: 18+, smut, piv, oral (f), ex-lovers to lovers, some angst, lots of fluff tho
Pairing: Tyler Owens x professor!fem!reader (4k words)
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“(Y/n)?” Her eyes flickered up from her notes, watching her assistant take a step into her office. With a soft smile playing on her lips, (y/n) waited for Alice to keep on speaking, knowing that she must leave for her upcoming class in a few minutes. 
“There’s been a scheduling problem with your guest for today’s lesson, they sent somebody else. He’s waiting outside for you.” For a second, she only stared at Alice, letting the words sink in before her annoyance and anger could clash through her. Organising guests who were willing to speak to her students has always been a struggle, she spent hours on finding the right people and now she couldn’t help but curse them for not giving her an earlier notice.
“Send him in, thank you, Alice.” (Y/n) began to collect her notes as the elderly woman left the room to fetch whoever was waiting outside, buying herself some time to remain calm. Deep breaths left (y/n), fighting through the uneasiness she couldn’t shake. 
The sound of boots meeting the ground rang in her ears, and suddenly her body began to tense, freezing on the spot almost. Somehow she could feel him before she saw him, instantly knowing who was about to enter her office even though it had been years since they had last seen one another. 
“Would you look at that, I’ve always wondered what your office looks like.” His voice shot shudders down her spine, a reaction she had once been all too familiar with but couldn’t help but curse now. With her teeth buried in her lower lip, (y/n) let her eyes wander over his features, fuck he was still as handsome as he had been all those years before. 
“What are you doing here, Tyler?” Her voice didn’t carry much strength, just enough to draw his wandering eyes back to her. Tyler studied her for a moment, keeping his distance while both seemed to get lost in the draw they had felt ever since their first date, knowing that the other was the one - or at least it had always felt like that. 
“Jake gave me a call this morning, told me he couldn’t make it. And since we were in the area anyway, I didn’t mind stepping in.” A scoff clawed through (y/n), followed by the shake of her head. She kept her eyes focused on her things while she rose to her feet, set on getting this over and done with as fast as possible.
“Of course you didn’t mind, the holy saint Tyler Owens just can’t help but present himself at any given chance.” His hand shot out to catch her arm before she could brush past him, forcing (y/n) to stand close to him. 
“Hey, I’m doing you a favour here, least you could do is treat me with some respect.” His voice still had that southern drawl to it she had longed to hear for way too long. She had deleted all his socials, hadn’t talked to any of their shared friends, no matter how many times she had longed to do so - even thinking of him hurt still too much. 
“Respect? I’m amazed you even know what that word means.” Both looked at one another for a moment, caught up in the memories that still haunted them to this day. Perhaps it could have been different. Perhaps they could have still been together if their path hadn’t been forced to an end years ago. 
“I did what was right, you can paint me as the bad guy, but don’t lie to yourself, darling. I did it for you, and I would do it all over again.” She ripped herself out of his grasp and muttered a small “Follow me” before leaving the room. Tears threatened to build in her eyes, forced to remember the day he had broken up with her, weeks after he had asked her to marry him. Deep down she knew that he was speaking the truth, if he hadn’t broken up with her, she wouldn’t have followed her dreams to study overseas to end up where she was now. And yet she hadn’t been able to let go of her hurt to this day.
The sounds of their shoes meeting the cold ground was the only thing that could be heard, nothing but heavy steps that felt like they were moving towards their end once again. Ancient lovers reunited in their last hour on this earth, and with one last chance they were offered to find their way back together. A chance that was now slipping through their fingers. 
“Good afternoon.” Her voice boomed through the big room which was filled with students who all instantly stopped speaking. Tyler kept his distance, waiting near the door while studying her every move. This was what he had hoped for all these years ago. For her to end up right here, doing what she had always dreamt of doing.
Parts of him had cursed himself for ending their engagement, but as much as he had wanted to follow her and help her chase her dream with him by her side, he hadn’t been able to leave. He had broken both their hearts with hurtful words spurred on by the anger he had directed at himself and at the circumstances he hadn’t been able to rip himself free from. 
“This is Tyler Owens, I’m sure some of you may know his channel. He’ll talk to you about storm chasing today, please bear in mind that you’ll get enough time for questions after his talk.” She couldn’t look at him, couldn’t bear to get lost in the eyes she had always tried to look for in every room. Eyes that had once held their shared secrets. Eyes that had watched her grow into a young woman after meeting when they had been mere teenagers. Eyes that still appeared in her dreams whenever her mind needed a reset from the battles she was currently fighting.
The sound of loud claps filled the room, he moved closer with a smile glued to his lips - a smile that slightly began to drop as she mumbled a quiet “I’ll be in my office” while brushing past him.
……
“Hey,” Tyler’s voice filled her office. A soft sigh left (y/n) as she forced herself to look at him, unable to bite down the hurt that had been clawing at her skin since the second he had first entered her office hours ago. “You missed an interesting class.”
“I,” she cleared her throat while shifting around on her seat. “I watched the stream. You were good, they loved you.”
“Well, what can I say? We have a big fan community.” A soft laugh managed to leave her before she could stop the sound, forcing heat to rise in her system. “Will you grab dinner with me? I think we’ve got some catching up to do.” 
She should have said no. She should have kindly told him that she had other plans. But knowing that she’d most likely not see him again for years and years to come felt like a punch to her gut. So all she did was nod her head and grab her purse, ready to leave her office for the day.
No words were spoken between them as he guided her towards his truck, the same one she had seen in his videos. It felt strange being here with him, sitting in the truck that added to this internet persona of his she was a stranger to, barely recognising the man he was now. 
“It’s bigger than I expected it to be.” (Y/n) blurted out the words while she looked around the truck, watching Tyler drive them to the spot he seemed to have in mind. The smirk tugging on his lips told her that she had just shared something she shouldn’t have, letting him in on the knowledge that she was watching his videos every now and then.
“I always wondered if you were watching us. They miss you, you know.” Nothing but a hum managed to pass her lips, unable to speak up as her throat grew tighter. It had been years since she had last seen his crew, the people she had once called her friends and had cut off the second she had left home, unable to think of anything that had something to do with Tyler. Years had passed before (y/n) had allowed herself to get back into all things storm chasing, which also meant catching up with Tyler and his work. 
“I miss them too.” Her eyes flickered down to his right hand which seemed to move in her direction but before Tyler could touch her, he pulled back again, balling a fist that rested on his thigh. It hurt her more than she had thought to see him like that, seemingly struggling just as much as she did with their newfound distance after all these years. And yet they were still bound together, by something neither could put a finger on. 
“Thought we could visit Mary Jane’s, for old times’ sake.” She couldn’t reply, not when one memory after another caught up with her. They had lost count on the amount of times they had chased in that area, grabbing dinner and coffees at Mary Jane’s at any given chance. A bittersweet memory that only worsened the heavy feeling settling on her chest. 
After parking the truck, she watched him round the car to help her down, keeping his hand placed on the small of her back for a second too long. It felt as if Tyler had to force himself to let go, to remember that she no longer was his to touch, even though it only felt right to keep close. 
“So, tell me, professor. What did I miss? What did you do the last few years? Your mom didn’t tell me much.” Her focus was ripped from the menu at the mention of her mother. She hadn’t told (y/n) anything about being in touch with Tyler, hadn’t dropped his name once. Every now and then (y/n) had wanted to ask about him, knowing that her mother was most likely at least watching his videos, but something had always held her back. Perhaps she had been too scared to hear of stuff she wouldn’t be able to stomach, wondering if he had moved on, if he had found another woman to spend the rest of his life with. 
“You’re still in touch with her?” The approaching waitress momentarily distracted them both, taking on their orders while (y/n)’s gaze kept flickering back to Tyler. Seeing him again had made everything more complicated, a distraction she hadn’t needed, but as much as she wanted to run and hide from the past, she also couldn’t stop herself from wanting to ask all these questions burning on the tip of her tongue. 
“Well, I call her every Christmas and on her birthday, and she does the same.” An unjustified anger simmered inside of her, drawing a frown onto her features while averting her gaze. It felt unfair that he and her mother had kept in touch, sharing details about their experiences and what they had done over the past years – all while (y/n) had fought so hard for a clean start away from her past. “Hey, look at me, pretty.”
“Don’t call me that, Tyler.” Hurt flashed over his features, a sight that only worsened the pain she felt deep inside of her. 
God, what was she even doing here? There was nothing left to say, nothing but a proper goodbye so she could go back to her day and forget the pain she had tried to bury six feet under. 
“Listen, (y/n).” Tyler reached for her hand before she could pull away, forcing her to keep her focus on him. “I didn’t do it right back then, should have sat you down and told you everything I feared and worried about. I should have given you the chance to make this decision for yourself. But I don’t regret giving you an out, you deserved to experience every dream, everything you have worked so hard for. Don’t blame me for wanting you to live the best possible life you could dream to live.”
“But what if all of those dreams had lost their meaning without you? What if nothing worked the same way without you by my side?” A tear dripped from her eye before she could try to wipe it away. She couldn’t read his expression, couldn’t read what was swimming in his pupils. Nothing but hurt and confusion that made her pull her hand away from his big one. “This was a mistake.”
She pushed herself out of the booth and rushed outside while more tears kept on falling. The shaky exhale leaving her drowned out the sound of Tyler calling for her, catching up with (y/n) before he pulled her against his broad chest. Sobs clawed through her as Tyler’s hand kept stroking up and down her spine, holding her close. 
“I got you, darling, I always will.”
……
“Here, do you need anything else?” It had been hours since her breakdown at the diner. Hours that had been filled with a shared dinner, memories that had been whispered about and eventually a drive back to her place. It had already been late by the time they had left Mary Jane’s, leading her to invite Tyler to stay in her guest room for the night. 
“I’m alright, thank you, darling.” Tyler shot her a smile before he pulled her in for another hug. With a kiss pressed to her hairline, he eventually let go of her, watching (y/n) leave the room after a few hesitant seconds.  
Her heart was racing until she found herself laying restless in bed, staring up at the ceiling. The past hours kept replaying, flashing past her open eyes while wondering if Tyler had managed to fall asleep. Seeing him again had ripped open all old wounds, leaving her confused and torn between too many sensations. For the last years she had tried to move on, had gone on many dates that had led to nothing but a hopeless feeling that she may never get over Tyler and the love she still felt for him. A feeling that had now resurfaced once again. 
With an annoyed sigh clawing through her, (y/n) left her bedroom again, freezing in her step as she found Tyler’s frame standing near the window in her living room, staring down on the city. Slowly, she moved closer, wrapping her arms around herself as she came to a halt next to him. 
“Couldn’t sleep?” His raspy voice made goosebumps rise on her skin, forcing her to shake her head while trying to keep her focus on the lights. A few seconds of silence passed before Tyler wrapped his arm around her waist to pull her against his side. “I missed you, pretty.”
This time she didn’t comment on it, could only push herself further into his embrace to search for his warmth. Wordlessly Tyler pulled her along to her sofa, plopping down on it before she placed her head on his chest, falling back into a routine that felt too familiar. 
“Do you think we would have been married by now if things hadn’t ended?” The question was whispered, rolling off her tongue without giving it much thought. (Y/n) had always wondered about their wedding, how it would have played out, who they would have invited and where it would have taken place. 
“Oh, for sure. I wouldn’t have been able to wait much longer before calling you my wife.” His soft chuckle vibrated through both their bodies, drawing a smile onto her lips. 
“I was so excited for it. It would have been the best day.” Tyler tightened his grip on her waist while pressing another kiss to her hairline. For a moment, neither of them spoke, keeping quiet as their thoughts began to spiral. She felt his muscles tense beneath her, making her wonder what he was about to speak while the night wrapped its comforting veil around them. 
“It can still be the best day.” Her heart skipped a beat, wondering what he meant by that. Her eyes found his, seeing the way he was torn by whatever kept buzzing through his mind. She wasn’t sure what he meant by it, and yet the way he looked at her, filled with something she hadn’t felt in years, left her wondering if he was still talking about the two of them. 
“What are you saying, Tyler?” His hand came up to cup her cheek, feeling her warmth pressing against his hand. Seconds of silence blurred by, making both their hearts race while he fought to find the right words. 
“I won’t ever be able to love anybody the way I love you, and that will never change. And judging by what you told me, it’s the same for you. Marry me, for real this time.” She pushed herself off his chest, rising to her feet with a teary laugh that was torn between excitement and sadness. (Y/n) stared down at him with her fingers buried in her hair, trying to figure out if this was just a joke fate was playing on her. 
“That’s insane, Tyler.” He mimicked her movements to draw her back in, hands resting on her waist. 
“You know what they say, pretty, if you feel it, chase it. And I’m so tired of living this life without you by my side.” Her body forced her to move, to close the distance between them with her lips finding his. Electricity buzzed down her spine, forcing her even closer to deepen the kiss. Kissing Tyler had always been an experience to say the least, two magnets that fit together, an explosion of heat and longing, and yet this felt even better than all these years ago. It felt right, more right than anything else. 
Without breaking the kiss, he picked her up, forcing her legs to find their way around his waist. Tyler carried her back to her bedroom, letting them rest on her mattress with him hovering over her. 
“Do you mean it? Really mean it?” (Y/n) mumbled the question against his lips. His fingers brushed a few strands of hair behind her ear, a warm touch that communicated what both felt at that moment, an undying longing that grew stronger with every passing second. 
“Marry me, (y/n).” Another laugh clawed through her, a sound that turned into a moan the second his lips found her neck, kissing their way down to her collarbones. 
“Alright, I will marry you.” Tyler kissed her again as his hands disappeared beneath her shirt to pull it over her head, exposing her naked frame to his wandering eyes. 
“You’re even more gorgeous, fuck. I can’t wait to make you mine again.” Her eyes fluttered close as he tugged on her panties, pushing them down her legs. Tyler’s mouth kissed its way to her aching heat, groaning the second he tasted her again after all these years. With both arms slung around her thighs to keep her close, he ate her out, letting his rough tongue brush through her slit before sucking on her pulsing bundle.
Moans and groans left both, high on the different feelings both were held hostage by. No longer could (y/n) remember if being with Tyler had always felt like that, all she knew was that she never wanted this moment to end. She’d happily be stuck in time like that, forever reunited with the one that had gotten away. 
Tyler let his gaze rest on her pleasure-drunken features, trying not to get too eager while his hardening cock begged for her attention. He’d fuck her all through the night and then some more in the morning, having to burn every passing moment into his mind to fight against the fear of waking up in a few hours from a too good to be true dream.
“Tyler,” his name rolled off her tongue, spurring him on to push her over the edge. (Y/n) had her back arched off the comfortable mattress, hands fisting the blanket while her first orgasm clashed through her like a ship hitting the cold ocean ground. She lost control of the moment, could only give room to her sounds the blinding sensation pushed through her. 
He kept lapping at her folds, prolonging her orgasm while he couldn’t bite down his proud smirk. Tyler still knew her body like the back of his hand, able to map her out even with both eyes closed as if she had always been his. 
“What will it be, darling? What do you want?” Tyler’s voice had grown lower, raspier even while he still lingered between her trembling thighs. He watched her heavily exhale, needing to ground herself before letting her twinkling eyes find his. 
“I need you inside of me, now, Tyler.” Without having to ask twice, he followed her command, getting rid of his shirt and his tight boxers before finding his way back to her. He watched her fish for a condom, helping him roll it down his length as both their hands shook from the anticipation and excitement they couldn’t shake. 
Somehow it reminded her of her first night with Tyler, the first time he had fucked her in the back of his truck in the middle of nowhere. It had been the best night of her life, or so she had always thought - until today at least. 
With his lips pressed against hers, he kept himself close as he pushed into her, slowly. Both groaned at the feeling, no longer used to being connected this intimately. She clung to him with her nails clawed into the soft skin of his back, needing to adjust for a few seconds before a soft “please” managed to leave her. 
They weren’t in a rush, weren’t set on chasing a high within a handful of seconds, but it felt too good to have one another back again, set on giving their all to the other. Every thrust hit her swollen spot, every thrust reminded (y/n) of the way Tyler had always managed to make her feel - as if he was the match setting a petrol station ablaze, a heat so strong it could melt her skin right off her body. 
Forever his, forever hers, a story so complete, neither could manage to put it into words. 
Their bodies met with every faster growing thrust, set on feeling her walls flutter around him while he kissed her breathless. She stared up at him, getting lost in the eyes that were filled with a love so strong, she was sure that neither of them would be able to let go ever again. 
“Atta girl, you’re doing so well for me. I got you.” He pressed a kiss to her neck while he deeply exhaled. Both tried to drag out the moment, hoping that they could stay connected for longer, but their bodies had other plans, needing another high while falling off the edge together.
Tyler’s hand found her right thigh, pulling it closer to her body to hit deeper spots that made both groan. She snuck a hand between their bodies to circle her pulsing bundle, desperate for the relief cumming around him would push through her. Encouraging praises and sweet nothings left Tyler, spurring her on to let go before he could. 
And then (y/n) came again, high on everything he embraced while another moan left her. Tyler fucked her for a few more moments, chasing his own orgasm before he groaned against her warm skin. The feeling buzzing through them both only grew stronger, keeping them united while they tried to catch their breaths.
“Are we really doing this? This is insane.” Her breathless laugh filled the room, leaving Tyler chuckling while he lifted his head off her chest. He looked at her for a moment, pressed a kiss to her slightly swollen lips and then pulled out of her.
“We are, and I can’t wait to finally call you my wife.”
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hanasnx · 1 year ago
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rafe wld so get off on u being scared. like you’d be watching a scary movie together and he’d have his hand down ur pants to calm u down when u get scared and jumpy
-🎀
MINORS DNI 18+ NOTES: u don’t know what this did to me .. maybe it’s a lil different than your original idea but it’s where the voices took me
It’s not that you don’t like horror movies, it’s just that you have a hard time handling them. When your boyfriend expressed passing interest in a certain film, you didn’t want to tell him no, there’s hardly anything that earns his attention. But the entire time, you haven’t been able to sit still. Susceptible to every jump scare and every surge of music, you act like a child. Even his gentle chastising doesn’t get it through your head. After a sudden movement on screen and a blast of noise from the speakers, you squeak, clutching onto RAFE CAMERON’s shirt as you curl into him.
“Thought you said you could handle this.” he mutters, unresponsive to how you cling onto him. The arm draped behind you on the back of the couch remains there as you silently wish he’d wrap you in it.
“I can, I can.” you insist. “How are you not scared?” Your face buried in his chest means you can’t see how he eyes you up. Darkened pupils and rolling his tongue between his lips as he watches you peek at the screen every so often.
“C’mon. Could see the boom mic like five minutes ago.” he replies, but that’s not the real reason. It’s because he’s been too busy with his attention on you. Every time you’d jump, and scream, and claw at him… sure, it was annoying, but it was also getting him hot. It’s not something he fully understands, but his hips shift forward anyway when he adjusts in his seat. His free hand subtly rearranges himself, letting his halfie get some breathing room. Your temple lays on his upper chest, and your fingers fidget with your lower lip uneasily, finally working up the courage to peer at the television again. While you’re captivated, his arm discretely winds around you, and you’re so locked in you don’t even notice.
“C’mere, baby,” he murmurs, and you listen to him, shuffling impossibly closer into his side you’re practically on his lap. “Yeah, that’s right.” A mess of tingles travels up your spine, but you’re sure it’s the fact your hair is already standing on end when in reality it’s his low voice whispering praises in your ear. “Wanna be my brave girl?”
A hand wedges in between your bodies, in between your legs, and your temperature rises with every inch he gains. From your thigh to the inside, down and over, long fingers stroke at your sex through your pants. Your attention torn between the movie and where his hand is, you’re not sure entirely what’s occurring. At least not until his fingertips dip into your waistband and you unconsciously adjust to make room for him. To reward you, his arm curls up from your back, cradling your head as the hand pets your hair. You relax as he rubs you in two different places.
The pads of his fingers apply pressure to the skin above your clit, screwing sweet little circles. You whimper through your nose and you shift.
“Keep your eyes on the TV.” he tells you. Those fingers slide down, pinching your clit between them, collecting a little moisture from your slit to bring it up, and smear it on your bud. “Yeah, baby, doin’ good. Jus’ like that.” he breathes, commending you for sitting pretty for him and taking it. You can barely keep your eyes open, fighting them not to squeeze shut. Curiously, his middle finger traces your hole, and sinks in to the first knuckle. Sharply, you inhale through your nose, and he holds on to you a little tighter. “Not even here, princess, don’t worry about me.” he whispers against your forehead, drawing his finger out only to dip back in, introducing you to more this time.
You’ve been watching, like he told you to, and a jump-scare does its job, jolting your whole body with fear as you scream. The movement causes his whole middle finger to plunge into you, and a groan he’d been holding releases from his throat. It’s visceral, and something snaps. He gives you two whole fingers, then three. Shoving them into your cunt over and over again with vehement as you writhe. His hold on you keeps you where he wants you while he relentlessly finger-fucks you. Out of instinct, you try to hide your face, but that hand that had pet your hair grabs onto your scalp, fixing you to face the television again. He grips onto your head, raising your brows as if to force your eyes open himself, “Keep your fucking eyes on the movie.”
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fastandcarlos · 5 months ago
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Stop Staring : ̗̀➛ Daniel Ricciardo
summary: as the two of you prepare for the annual red bull dinner, daniel can't help but stand infatuated by what he sees
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You were lost absentmindedly as you glanced up at the mirror, the routine that you had done so many times before, as you prepared yourself to join Daniel at the Red Bull dinner. You were full of concentration as you made sure not to make a mistake, keen to look your best for the evening. 
Whilst you busied yourself, Daniel was a little calmer in the bedroom of your hotel. He checked himself in the mirror, making sure that his dinner shirt was tucked in before adjusting his tie making sure that it was perfect. It wasn’t quite though. Something looked a bit off in the mirror, something that he knew you could fix. 
Daniel called out your name but was met with silence. His lips pursed together as he walked through to the bathroom, going to call you again, only to stop when he realised what you were doing, leaning himself against the door frame with a smile. 
You flitted between the items in your makeup bag, leaning a little closer to make sure that you concealed where you needed. As you did so, your attention was caught by a blur in the doorway, glancing through the reflection to see Daniel staring back at you with his wide eyes. 
He was so lost in the moment that he hadn’t noticed you, just like how you initially hadn’t noticed him. 
You carried on for a few moments, wondering if Daniel would snap out of his daydream, but he remained fixated to the spot. His eyes were filled with awe as he watched you, his heart swelling with love and pride as he remained fully focused on you, not wanting to look anywhere else. 
“Daniel, stop staring,” you laughed, your voice making him jump as he came back into the room and realised that your eyes were now looking in his direction. 
He immediately felt his cheeks light up as he realised that you had spotted him. It was such a simple task and yet somehow, he had found himself completely lost in the moment of admiring how beautifully you did your thing.  
“If you stand there any longer then we’re going to be late,” you scolded, walking across the room so that the two of you were face to face. “Haven’t you got a suit jacket that you should be putting on right now? The taxi will be here to collect us soon.” 
A shy smile crept onto Daniel’s face as his eyes flickered down to his tie. He didn’t need to say anything else as your hands came up and took the tie in your hands, knowing exactly what it was that he wanted from you. 
“Can’t quite get the knot to sit right?” You smiled, adjusting the knot at the top of his tie so it sat perfectly flush to his jacket. You moved his collar down so it sat around his tie, tightening it up so that it was exactly how Daniel wanted it. 
Once again his eyes looked at you wondrously, studying how concentrated you were. Of course, you wanted Daniel to look his best, but you did such a beautiful job of taking care and making sure that you did the job as perfectly as you could.  
After you were sure that the tie was perfect, you stepped back from Daniel again, smoothing his shirt out. “Thank you,” he whispered, leaning forwards to press a kiss against the top of your head. 
“Now can you stop staring at me and finish getting sorted,” you scolded. 
“Can you blame me right now? You look stunning tonight darling.” 
“Stop,” you smirked, swatting him away, “you can’t do this to me tonight, I need to remain composed.” 
You tried your best to stay calm, but admittedly having Daniel’s eyes on you made your heart race as well. He had a way of capturing you with his eyes, without any words, that always left you feeling weak at the knees. 
“Then you need to stop looking so beautiful,” Daniel joked in reply. 
Your head shook as you turned back to the mirror, picking up your lipstick. You carefully applied a thin layer to your lips, fully aware once again of the figure that stubbornly remained with his eyes fixated on you. 
“Seriously,” you grinned, shooting a glare at him through the mirror. “If we’re late then I will happily drop you in it and tell Christian that you’re the reason why.” 
“I’ll happily also tell Christian the reason that we were late is because I am obsessed with my girlfriend,” Daniel shrugged, the corners of his mouth turning up even more as one of his signature chuckles escaped. “I think that lipstick might need testing out, I’m not sure if it’s kissable enough.” 
“If I give you a kiss, will you go and get yourself sorted?” 
Daniel nodded as he tapped his index finger to his lips. You closed the distance between you both and pressed a sweet kiss to Daniel’s lips. It wasn’t good enough for him though as his hands landed on your shoulders, pulling you back towards him and placing his lips onto yours once again. 
As much as you wanted to try and protest, the feeling of Daniel’s arms around your frame was enough to leave you smiling into the kiss, almost sighing as Daniel pulled away. 
Your hands pressed to his chest, trying your best to push him away from you. “Now it’s your turn to do your part of the agreement,” you tried to challenge, but Daniel was far too strong for you to even try and move him away from you. 
Daniel’s smirk drove you insane as you struggled against his strength. “I think I might just stay here for a little while longer, I don’t think putting a jacket on can take that long.” 
“You’ve not even done your hair,” you challenged, watching as Daniel quickly brushed his hand through his messy locks as if to tell you that that was him done.  
“Now try and tell me that I haven’t done my hair.” 
Your eyes rolled at his sass. “I wonder sometimes how I’ve managed to put up with you for this long.” 
You joked, but you already knew the answer to that. His smile. His laugh. His brilliant sense of humour. You thanked whoever decided that Daniel was your soulmate every day for bringing him into your life.  
“Come on, otherwise we’re going to be late,” Daniel teased as he took your hand and led you back into the bedroom. 
“Are you kidding me right now?” You scoffed as Daniel hurried you along. 
Daniel grabbed his suit jacket and placed it over his frame, adjusting the sleeves to make sure that they sat perfectly. “You’re the one telling me we’re going to be late, and now you’re telling me off for trying to speed us up.” 
“I can’t win,” you sighed as Daniel took a seat and slipped his shoes on, encouraging you to do the same. Your heels were only small, but as soon as you stood up, you found a new confidence. 
Daniel could see it too as he watched you twirl to make sure you were comfortable. It didn’t happen often, but he found himself speechless as he looked at you in disbelief, struggling to believe that you were really his. 
“I don’t think I’ll be able to stop myself staring at you all night long,” Daniel whispered into your ear. 
“Trust me, I’ll be the one staring at your handsome face.” 
˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗
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deonsx · 25 days ago
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Hellooo! I was wondering if u could make a fic or headcanon (its up to u tho!) about seishirou fake dating? I think the reason would be bcs the girls in his school would stop chasin after him or smthing like that? And ofc eventually they like each other. I hope ur doing well! take ur time and have a great day!
Heyaa!! The request box is pretty full these days, I'm moving as fast as I can, have a nice read!!
Fake Dating With Nagi Seishiro
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Seishiro is fed up with the constant attention he gets from the girls at school. No matter how politely he turns them down they just won’t stop chasing after him. It is tiring and it is starting to interfere with his focus. Finally he comes up with a plan. He needs a fake girlfriend. Someone who can convincingly pull it off and won’t actually fall for him
That is where you come in. Maybe you are a friend or maybe you are just someone who seems reliable and disinterested in him romantically. One day after class Seishiro corners you with his usual calm and collected demeanor intact “I need your help” he says crossing his arms and leaning casually against the wall “Pretend to be my girlfriend. Just for a while. It will get them off my back”
You blink at him surprised “Why me??” you ask skeptical “Because you are the only one who won’t make this weird” he replies with a faint smirk “And you are also the only one who doesn’t seem interested in all the attention I get” After some hesitation you agree “How hard could it be” you think. A little hand holding here a few staged moments there and it will all be over soon enough
But as the plan unfolds things don’t go quite as planned. Seishiro who is always calm and cool starts to act differently. At first you think it is just part of the act. Like the way he suddenly gets protective when someone teases you or how his smiles feel more genuine when it is just the two of you. But then you realize it is not just an act anymore
And maybe you are not just pretending either
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At first, Seishiro would approach the fake relationship like a task. He remains composed and distant, treating the whole situation as a formal arrangement. Holding your hand or placing an arm around your shoulder would feel mechanical, done only when necessary to convince others
However, he takes the role seriously. If someone questions the authenticity of the relationship, Seishiro defends it without hesitation. He might casually say “She’s my girlfriend. Isn’t it obvious?” His confidence leaves no room for doubt, making the act even more convincing
As time passes, Seishiro’s demeanor starts to shift. Initially, every small gesture like walking you to class or standing closer than usual feels calculated. But soon it starts to feel natural. The way he looks at you, lingers a bit too long. The way he laughs at your jokes feels a little too genuine for an act
You on the other hand, are nervous in the beginning. Agreeing to the fake dating arrangement seems simple at first, but being the center of attention feels strange. When someone asks “When did you two start dating?” you might panic stumbling over an answer
Over time though you start questioning your feelings. Is this really just fake? Or have you started to care about Seishiro more than you’re willing to admit?
Together, your interactions change. What began as staged hand-holding turns into moments that feel genuine. A hug in public doesn’t stop as soon as people stop looking. A playful argument about what to eat ends with him smiling in a way that feels far too intimate for a fake boyfriend
Then there’s the jealousy. Even though the relationship is fake, you both start to notice how uncomfortable it feels when someone flirts with the other. It’s subtle at first Seishiro’s narrowed eyes when someone gets too close to you, or the way you feel your chest tighten when another girl compliments him
Eventually, these small moments lead to something bigger. Maybe one night, after a particularly convincing moment in public, you find yourselves alone. Seishiro looks at you, a rare vulnerability in his gaze, and asks “If this is supposed to be fake, why does it feel so real?”
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Enjoy!
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n0vazsq · 1 month ago
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In love | Hector Fort x Reader
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pairing . . . hector fort x barca!femeni!reader
summary . . . When you make eye contact with Hector during one of the practices, you never expected that he'd compliment you
request . . . yes!! based on this request!
word count . . . 2.1k+
warnings . . . none!
faceclaim . . . N/A
alexavia yaps . . . so uh i blinked and suddenly there were 2k words?? also ignore how it goes from formal ahh shakespeare english to normal midway <33 hope you like it!!
taglist . . . @barcapix ,, @f1lover55 ,, @ilovebarcaaa ,, @ann6ella ,, @notm4d1 ,, @httpsdana (lmk if you want to join the taglist!)
part 1 | part 2
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. . . You were not one to demand attention.
Quiet and observant, you had spent the first few weeks at FC Barcelona Femení training with a single goal in mind; playing well and blending into the team. It was, after all, your dream opportunity, and you were determined not to squander it.
The others welcomed you kindly enough, encouraging you to open up, but you simply had not yet found your footing amongst the vibrant personalities surrounding you.
It did not help that the men’s team often occupied the adjacent field or sat observing from the sidelines. While your teammates would wave or occasionally chat with the men in passing, you remained distant.
It was not due to shyness, but rather a choice to remain professional. You did not want to appear unserious in a place you had worked so hard to reach.
Still, the presence of the FC Barcelona men’s team was not something one could easily ignore. Hector, in particular, seemed to be an everlasting presence in the area. He was among the younger members of the squad, but there was no mistaking his calm, collected demeanor both on and off the pitch.
You would be lying if you said you hadn’t noticed him during those moments of shared closeness. Yet, much like the others, you treated him as an observer and little more.
That particular day of training started off as unremarkable as the others. The sun beat down over the pitches, and your teammates laughed and chatted as you stretched in preparation for the drills.
Your focus remained steady, blocking out the sounds of the men’s team as they arrived to observe. Hector was among them, naturally, along with his teammates who took their seats along the sidelines.
You might have paid them no mind had it not been for the social media team.
"Could we borrow you for a moment?" one of the FC Barcelona media staff called your name, motioning you over.
You hesitated before complying, jogging toward them and tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. You had avoided the spotlight so far, preferring to build your reputation quietly.
Still, there was no refusing a request that was for a part of your job. The social media staff smiled warmly when you approached.
"We’re doing a quick trend for the socials," one of them explained. "It’s nothing too demanding. Are you okay with that?"
You found yourself relaxing in their presence. "Yeah, that is perfectly fine."
As they prepared their equipment, you exchanged a few quiet jokes with the staff, earning surprised laughter that quickly turned infectious.
Though you were not one to show this side of yourself often, there was something about being in front of a camera in a controlled environment that brought it out.
You participated in their short clip; some trend that needed an enthusiastic and almost dramatic entrance.
It was the first time you allowed yourself to be seen laughing openly, your composure softening as you ran toward the camera with a wide smile.
You had not realized that the men’s team had a perfect view of the entire interaction.
Hector watched, his attention unwavering. The same player who had been so reserved for weeks was now smiling without clear happiness, her voice clear as she joked with the media staff.
He sat up straighter on the bench, exchanging glances with a few of his teammates who were already grinning knowingly.
"So she can speak," Lamine teased quietly, elbowing Hector.
"She’s just quiet." Hector replied defensively, though his gaze remained fixed on you. As you jogged back toward your teammates, you turned your head slightly. For a brief moment, your eyes met his.
Your breath caught in your throat. His expression was unreadable, though his stare was so direct that you felt heat rise to your cheeks. You quickly looked away, pretending to focus on rejoining the team. Hector smirked faintly as he watched you go.
"I think you scared her," Pau said, laughing.
Hector merely shook his head, though he could not deny the amusement he felt. There was something about you that intrigued him, not just the sudden glimpse of your laughter but the fact that you carried yourself so differently from the others.
The training session continued shortly after, with the focus shifting to some practice matches. You pushed any lingering embarrassment out of your mind, focusing instead on the drills.
Playing well had always been your safe zone. It did not matter who was watching or what they were thinking; on the pitch, you were simply you.
As the session progressed, you found yourself fully immersed in the game. The ball came to you cleanly, and your instincts took over. You made precise passes, quick decisions, and strategic runs that left even your teammates impressed.
Unbeknownst to you, Hector and his teammates remained glued to the sidelines, their casual commentary growing louder each time you touched the ball.
"Did you see that?" Marc exclaimed as you cut through two defenders effortlessly before delivering a clean pass to your teammate.
"She’s brilliant," Pedri added.
Hector said nothing, though his gaze remained fixed on you. Every movement you made seemed deliberate, yet natural. You played with a level of skill and composure that he found genuinely impressive.
When you scored a goal near the end of the match, a powerful strike that sent the ball soaring into the top corner, the men erupted on the sidelines.
"Hector, this is your moment!" Gavi shouted, earning a chorus of laughter. Hector shot them a warning look, though the corners of his mouth betrayed a small smile. His teammates, however, were relentless.
"You’ve been watching her this whole time," Pau teased. "Are you going to compliment her or just stare?"
"Mind your own business," Hector replied evenly, though he could feel his face heat ever so slightly. It was true, though. He had been watching you, and he could not deny the admiration he felt for how you carried yourself on the field.
As the match ended and the players left to cool down, you finally allowed yourself to breathe. The session had gone well, and you could feel the satisfaction that came from knowing you had done your best.
You took a seat on the grass, reaching for your water bottle when a shadow fell over you. Looking up, you blinked in surprise to see Hector standing there, his expression as composed as ever.
"You played really well today," he said simply, his voice steady.
You were momentarily caught off guard. Though you had been aware of the men’s team watching from the sidelines, you had not expected any direct interaction, especially not from him.
"Thank you," you replied, managing to keep your tone polite despite the warmth you felt rising to your face. "I appreciate that."
Hector tilted his head slightly, studying you as though he were searching for something unsaid. "Your approach to the game is impressive. I have observed you over the past few weeks, I've never seen such strategy."
You blinked at his unexpected honesty. "I try to focus on improving where I can," you admitted quietly. "There is still much I hope to learn."
He nodded slowly. "That mindset will pay you well." For a moment, there was silence between you, though it was not uncomfortable. Finally, Hector allowed a faint smile to tug at his lips. "You should smile more often. It suits you."
The comment caught you off guard entirely, and you felt your cheeks flush. Before you could form a response, Hector gave you a polite nod before walking away to rejoin his teammates, who were, of course, watching the entire interaction with great interest.
"Oh, he’s definitely in love," Lamine remarked loudly, earning laughter from all around.
You exhaled sharply, shaking your head at their behaviour, though you could not stop the small smile that crept onto your face.
From that day onward, something subtle shifted. You were still reserved, but Hector seemed to make a point of acknowledging you when their team was nearby.
Whether it was a simple nod of greeting, a brief conversation, or a lingering glance during training, it did not go unnoticed, by you or by his teammates, who took every opportunity to tease him for it.
As for you, it became harder to deny the quiet flutter in your chest every time your eyes met his. The once distant player from the sidelines was now someone who occupied your thoughts more often than you cared to admit. And though you were still focused on proving
A few days later, as you started gathering your things after another training session, you couldn’t ignore the subtle feeling of being watched. Sure enough, Hector was standing a little way off with the rest of the men’s team, their voices muffled by the distance.
From time to time, one of his teammates nudged him, whispering something that clearly earned a few laughs.
You rolled your eyes to yourself, amused but curious. You were just about to sling your bag over your shoulder when you noticed Hector heading in your direction. Again.
The rest of his team hollered softly behind him, their teasing unmistakable even from across the field. "Just go!" Marc called. Hector waved him off with an exasperated hand, but there was a faint pink tint to his ears as he approached you.
"You again," you teased lightly as he stopped a few steps away. "Should I start charging you for the compliments?"
Hector let out a short laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. "I’ll consider it, though I might run out of money quickly at this rate."
You blinked, caught slightly off guard by his response, but you couldn’t help the smile that crept onto your face. "Flattery will only get you so far, Hector."
"I’ll take my chances," he replied with a grin, his confidence returning now that he’d earned a smile from you. There was a pause, short but heavy enough to hint at something more, before he cleared his throat. "Look, the guys are unbearable when they’re like this, so I might as well ask. Would it be completely out of line if I asked for your number?"
Your eyebrows raised in mock disbelief. "Are they watching right now?"
He sighed, glancing over his shoulder. "Very obviously."
And sure enough, when you looked past him, a few of the guys were pretending to 'stretch,' hands over their mouths as if that would hide their poorly contained laughter.
"You might want to tell them they’re not as subtle as they think." you said, shaking your head in amusement.
"I’m well aware," Hector muttered before returning his focus to you. "So… what do you say? Maybe if I text you, they’ll leave me alone. Consider it an act of mercy."
You tilted your head, pretending to consider it. "I’m not sure I believe that’s the only reason you’re asking."
"Maybe it’s not," he admitted, his voice dropping just a little. "You’re full of surprises. I’m just trying to keep up."
For a moment, you felt your face heat up at the unexpected sincerity of his words. Finally, you sighed with exaggerated reluctance. "Fine. Give me your phone."
Hector’s smile was victorious as he quickly handed it over. You typed in your number and passed it back, shaking your head as you did. "You owe me now, Hector. Don’t let your friends think this was their idea."
"Trust me, I won’t," he said with a quiet laugh, already saving your contact. "But I can’t promise they won’t still claim credit."
"You’re surrounded by instigators," you teased, starting to walk toward the locker rooms.
"I know," he called after you, his grin lingering. "But they’re right about one thing, I’m glad I came over."
You glanced back at him, shaking your head but unable to stop smiling. "Goodbye, Héctor."
"See you soon," he replied, stepping back toward his team, where they were already waiting to pounce on him.
Back with his teammates, Hector was greeted with playful shoves and whistles. "She gave you her number, didn’t she?" Marc asked smugly.
"Yeah, and she didn’t even charge him for it," Lamine added, earning a round of laughter.
Hector ignored them, though the faint smirk on his face gave him away. "You all really need new hobbies," he muttered, shoving his phone back into his pocket.
"Admit it, you’re blushing," Pau teased, leaning in close.
"Sure," Hector replied sarcastically, but even he couldn’t fight the grin threatening to spread. As his friends continued their banter, his mind kept drifting back to you; your teasing smile, your quiet confidence, and the way you’d handed him his phone like you already knew he’d text.
And as far as Hector was concerned, he absolutely would.
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