#nothing wouldve ever prepared me for the khux finale actually i need to feel that again
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i wanna go back to the khux era actually that made me feel insane in the best way i wanna feel that again
#i need to get invested in something truly mind boggling again#or not invested so much as experience it#nothing wouldve ever prepared me for the khux finale actually i need to feel that again#i need to feel alive is what#i am so. tired?#like hm#i dont have the energy to break down my thoughts like usual#in better news i finished my essay i just need to type it up and clean it and shit#gotta proofread#thats a lie i never proofread anything ive dont it only once before and while fun ive never truly bren as invested in something#oedipus just sparked something in me#also my teacher required we have like three drafts or whatever WITH editing marks so#actually tenth geade english was my best work the things we had to read in that class really tickled my 'i need to talk about this' itch in#my brain#i also ended up writing an essay before the year started bc it was summer hw that i never did#anyways i wrote in on the alchemist and i read a little bit of it before i was like wow this is terrible#and just sparknoted the rest and just rante daboit how awful a book it was and i got an A!#i still have it on my google docs i gotta transfer that shit to a harddrivr#ive never been so heated by something lmao#also reading the metamorphosis in class was wild i remember we were doing silent reading and i got way ahead of everyone else#and everyone in my table was like what is bc i had a horrified look and i was like just keep reading#and again reading the great gataby i aas just vibing while reading and then i got to thr car accident? scene?? and i like#put my hand on my mouth like you know 🤭 and again people were like whattt#i was like literally read three more pages#i never got a chance to read the yellow wallpapaer and im sad about that#no thats a lie i did have a chance i just chose not to read it#1 bc i was too lazy to read it at home and i also forgot and also something something adhd or whatever point is i didnt read anything that y#year besides catcher in the rye and TWO my teacher had powerpoints that would go over each section we read in such excruciating detail that#we basically didnt have to read anything and sshe didnt really foster an environment for discussion but rather just tell her what she wants#to hear and what she wants to hear is literally on the powerpoints so what was the point of reading
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