#nothing makes Smokin Sexy Style better than

[mixed-imagination]

Holiday Pranks (Part 1) - John Ambrose x reader

Summary: You and your boyfriend, John Ambrose McClaren, play pranks on each other during a party held at Belleview, a senior citizen center.

Warnings: nothing really, just a lot of FLUFF --- This one-shot is based on the books. There are no spoilers, so don’t worry. However, if you’ve only seen the movie and are confused - Stormy and Alicia are senior residents at Belleview, where Lara Jean volunteers. Stormy is John Ambrose’s great-grandmother. That’s all you need to know.

Word Count: 2,400+

Notes: MERRY CHRYSLER. THIS IS MY GIFT TO YALL! Thanks for being patient and supportive. I love you guys <3

Listen to this beautiful cover while you read! It inspired this fic :3 ~ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mgUh60_ea8

“Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But the very next day you gave it away! This year, to save me from tears I'll give it to someone special!”

Busy pinning your hair back with a bobby pin, you lean forward and take a closer look at yourself in the mirror Stormy had been holding up for you.  You tsk your tongue in slight disappointment in your appearance.  

The whole day you and Lara Jean had been running around Belleview trying to set things in order for the Christmas party that is to start in an hour. You had been busy decorating, baking, and setting up bingo games for the elderly residents.  All the while you also had been preparing the cute pranks you had planned to pull on John.

For the past two weeks, you and your boyfriend, John Ambrose, have been in this mischievous prank phase. It started when you binge-watched BFvsGF prank videos together.  Ever since then, you’ve been pulling pranks on each other in school and at each other’s houses. In class, you had taped a paper that said “slap my ass” onto John’s back and tied his shoelaces together. He also got you at your house when you had asked him to fetch you a yogurt cup. He fooled you by replacing your vanilla yogurt with mayonnaise - a condiment you unequivocally despise.  Thankfully, the small goofs weren’t serious; no one ever got hurt. 

Tonight, you have a few tricks up your sleeve for John. You had hoped that because it is party day, he had assumed that pranks are off-limits, meaning he would never suspect a thing. However, you know John is a clever boy.

“Come on, sweetheart, you look fine,” Alicia nodded in reassurance.

Stormy flips the hand mirror around. “Hey! I’m not done yet, Stormy,” you protest.

She fluffs her hair and makes a kissy face at her reflection, “Well, I think she looks haggard,” she shrugs.

“Stormy!” you cross your arms.

You didn’t have time to curl your hair or properly apply makeup. You didn’t even have a good outfit for the party.  All you had on is this morning’s eyeliner and mascara; you felt slobbish in your stripped, loose t-shirt dress.

“Stormy, don’t say that. Y/N is beautiful even in her pajamas,” Alicia says.

You huff in frustration, “Thanks, Alicia.” You twist your torso and look around the common area, “Hey, LJ did you finish setting up your gingersnaps?” you call out, knowing she also had been preparing.

At the corner of your eye, you see her peek her head out of the kitchen doorway to spot you before popping out in her dress, “Uh, yes!”

“Wowza! Lara Jean, baby! Forget what I said about you being a girl who gets her heart broken. You are turning into a heartbreaker. You look like Santa’s little helper.” Stormy winks and she laughs.

“Oh stop it, Stormy! Lara Jean will never turn into the likes of you,” Alicia rolls her eyes.

“Excuse me?”

While Stormy and Alicia get into another petty argument, you give a once-over to Lara Jean’s outfit. You didn’t even know she had changed attire already; she looks so pretty with her red lip and her hair down, curled and pinned behind her ears. She’s wearing a velvet, red tank top and skirt with white, faux fur lining the edges, complete with a Santa hat and knee-high boots.

A pang of envy began to grow in the pit of your stomach, obviously set off by Lara Jean’s cute outfit.

You drop your head back and groan, “Ugh, LJ, you look so good!” 

“Oh thanks, Y/N. Peter’s wearing a matching costume.”

“That’s adorable. Hashtag couple goals. I look like a bum though. I’m jealous.”

Stormy turns away from Alicia, “Darling, why don’t you just wear one of my dresses?” 

One of Stormy’s dresses? You knew Stormy’s clothes were a tad bit too spicy for someone her age. You’ve seen her in loose, exotic, scandalous pieces of clothing; you’re sure it’s not your style. You bite the insides of your cheeks, “Uhh... Are you sure it’s going to fit me?”

“Of course! It’s one of my favorite dresses,” she boasts, “Back in my day, I used to wear it to the Drive-In on Friday nights.”

You let out a breath of relief, “Oh thank god, you were talking about your old dress.”

Stormy nods with pride, but then quickly shakes her head in realization, “You cheeky girl! Last year I loaned Lara Jean my old nightgown.” She crosses her arms in an offense, and you laugh.

LJ snickers as well, “She’s right. It was quite racy.”

You sigh, thinking it over.  You look down at your t-shirt dress. It is wrinkled at the edges and has some spots of caramel and flower on it. It wouldn’t be so bad wearing one of Stormy’s dresses, right? You trust her fashion sense. If it was her favorite, it means it has to be at least better than what you’re wearing now. You shrug, “Okay, fine. I’ll try on the dress.”

“Yes!” Stormy and Lara Jean shriek.

~~~

Fifteen minutes later, you are looking at another mirror, except this mirror is in Stormy’s room; it is body length. You graze your thumb over the beaded designs. You smile at your appearance and nod in approval.

“Not bad Stormy,” you twirl. The dress was outdated, you admit. It is a little itchy at the neck hole, but you could live with it. It didn’t fit at first, also, until Lara Jean used her magic skills and used safety pins, so it could hug your body right.

“You look SMOKIN’!” Stormy cackles, “You almost look better than I did when I was seventeen.” The corners of your mouth curve up, and you roll your eyes, “Wow, thanks.”

“No, I’m serious! This dress is a stunner.”

LJ agrees, “You look sultry in that little back dress.”

“It was my lucky charm, you know? I magnetized all the boys. I bet my Johnny is going to love you in it!” Stormy squeals.

“You’re definitely going to distract John, for sure, Y/N. It might be an advantage for your pranks.”

You smirk, “You’re right.”

~~~

The lighting is dimmed down in the common area. Many of the elderly are still pilling in, while some who have already settled in are mingling.  The party has only just started, but you can’t wait for John to fall for your schemes. You had seen him zipping around the center - clearly setting up his own pranks, or else why would he be anywhere but with you? Because it is a holiday party, you had only planned to trick him twice. Hopefully, he goes easy on you.

You are silently standing behind a food table, waiting to serve anyone. You are sneaking some Oreos into your mouth when John finally makes an appearance to you. He’s wearing a gray suit with a baby blue button down. He slides behind the table and places his hand on your side, pulling you into him.

“John!” you giggle.

“Hello, m’lady!” he plants a wet kiss on your cheek before looking down at your apparel. His eyebrows raise, “Wowza.”

“Wowza”? He really is Stormy’s great-grandson. Such a dork.

“Do you like the dress?” you beam up at him.

He nods and kisses your cheek again, “You look adorable, Y/N. So cute.”

You pout as you take a bite out of your Oreo, “Just cute?”

“You look foxy,” he chuckles and moves a loose strand of hair behind your ear. Your eyes roll. 

“What?” John shrugs and slowly leans his head down to your ear. You can feel his breath blow against your cheek. It makes you shiver. “That’s,” his voice is low and raspy, “That’s my dorky way of saying you look sexy.”

The inside of your stomach flips at his unexpected boldness. You bite your lip. John suddenly cracks a smile at your innocent reaction, “Too cute.” He kisses your cheek again before pulling back.

You huff in frustration, wiping your sweaty palms on the tablecloth. John knows you’re putty in his hands; He’s going to pay for teasing you like that.

“Did you know it’s your great-grandmother’s?” you give him a small smile.

John’s eyebrows raise. He opens his mouth but quickly closes it.  He changes the subject, “So what’s in store for tonight? Ballroom dancing? Karaoke? Bingo?”

You laugh, “I think all of those things. You know how Lara Jean is - she planned the whole thing. She’s the boss. I just do what she asks.” You both look over to Lara Jean. She’s handing everyone holiday mint candy, while Peter, dressed in a Santa suit and beard, is goofing off and dancing with Alicia.

This is the moment - the perfect opportunity to catch John off guard and swindle him with your first antic. Karma’s a bitch, Johnny.

“Did you know she baked all the desserts for tonight?” you flutter your lashes up at him.

Along with the store-bought snacks, there were cinnamon buns, gingersnaps, molasses cookies, banana cake, and more - all made by LJ. John looks down and once-overs the many delicious desserts displayed on the table. “I have no doubt that she did.” He eyes the caramel apples.

You grin. Gotchya, bitch. The fish is hooked. It was actually you who had made the caramel apples. Caramel apples are one of John’s favorite sweet treats, so you had to make a special batch made especially for him. Little did he know, the one you’ll be giving him is different.

“Kitty helped LJ make the caramel apples,” you fib, grabbing two sticks of the sticky dessert - one for you and one for John.

John shakes his head, “Man, I miss that small fry.  He automatically takes hold of the skewer, too nostalgic to notice. “She’s a stubborn one, that kid. We should hang out at the Covey house over winter break and visit her.”

You bat your lashes at him, taking a small bite out of your apple, “Mhmm!” you nod, swallowing. 

As John instinctively brings the treat to his mouth, you watch him closely.  His teeth pierce into it, producing a loud crunch noise. His eyes immediately dash to yours. 

Gottem, bitch.

You smirk and put your apple down, preparing your plate of Oreos for your next scheme. John slowly moves the “treat” away from him. His mouth is hanging ajar - the bite he took still sitting in his mouth. 

His eyebrows rise; his eyes look bored with a sinister twang hidden behind it. “Y/N, what is this?” his words are slurred by the food in his mouth.

You snort, “Ew! John! Don’t talk with your mouth full.”

“Don’t talk with my mouth full?” his voice raises, sloppily spitting food bits.

You laugh and shield yourself with your arms up, “John, you’re disgusting.”

John swipes a napkin and spits into it, wiping all evidence away, “Oh, Y/N, I have to admit - that was clever.” The corners of his mouth curve upwards as he takes a step closer, “But you’re so going to get it tonight.” His subtle threat makes your stomach churn.

“But really what the heck was that? Because I know that was not an apple,” his face contorts as he licks his teeth.

“It was an onion, silly” you giggle.

“An onion?” his arm snakes around your waist. “You gave me an onion dipped in caramel? Have you tried it?”

As he moves in closer, you can smell the faint scent of onion coming from his mouth. Your face contorts, “No of course not.”

Suddenly, in one quick movement, John’s face darts towards yours, “Well it is just disgusting!” he smirks, aiming to kiss your mouth.

“Gross!” you laugh, leaning back and pushing his face away from yours.

“Smell it, Y/N! Smell the onion!” he purses his lips, showering your cheeks with pecks. 

You both giggle and laugh at his cute acts of affection. This is why you love John. Although he comes off as a smart, confident guy-that-every-girl-has-a crush-on, if you peel that back and actually get to know him, he’s really just a down-to-earth, goofy teenage boy. You are so thankful to call him yours. Knowing and seeing the real him is such a privilege to you.

“But seriously though,” his face twists, “I can’t get this oniony taste out of my mouth. Yucky.”

“Do you want me to pour you some water?” you offer.

He gives you a look, “No thanks. You’d probably replace my water with urine or something.” 

You roll your eyes, “That’s just nasty. I would never go that far.” 

“Yea, we’ll see. At this rate, who knows what you’re capable of?” he shrugs and smirks. You notice his eyes flash at your plate of Oreos.

GOTTEM AGAIN, bitch.

John has spotted the Oreos. You cheer internally, wishing that he’ll fall for the same trick twice. He’d never expect one prank after another. Also, he’s seen you munching on Oreos this whole time. You’re sure he has no inklings towards them.

He picks up one of your Oreos, “You know what?” 

“Hey! That’s mine. Give it back,” you feign annoyance. 

He shakes his head, “Nope! This is mine now. It’s what you get for catfishing me with an onion,” he pops the whole cookie into his mouth.

Yes! Mission accomplished. The fish has been reeled in.

Again, John’s face deadpans at the strange taste of his Oreo. He immediately grabs his napkin and spits. 

You hop in success, “HA! I got you good McClaren! You’re not the only one who can put mayonnaise into good use.” You had prepared a nasty batch of Oreos with the classic cream replaced with a layer of mayo.

He turns to you; his lips slowly form into a dangerous smirk, “Another prank, Y/N? Wow.” 

The look in John’s eyes playfully screams revenge. You know he’s a big tease, but you’d never seen him get so flirtatiously mischievous. You liked it.

John leans down achingly slow, making your insides flip. He kisses your cheek lightly before bringing them to your ear once again. He whispers - the blow of his voice on your neck giving you goosebumps, “You’re so gonna get it, Y/N. Game on.”

~~~

And that’s part one! I hoped you liked it! Please send in some feedback and more requests! :3 Also, my tag list is open! I just love TATBILB!

ples enjoy this goofy picture of Madeline Arthur, who plays Chris, and Jordan Burtchett who played (and should still be playing <_<) the role of John Ambrose McClaren. Ain’t he handsome?

[sapphalon]

Pull My Devil Trigger

Alright, the thirsty bastards on my main blog talked me into writing some catradora smut, but there is no way in hell I’m posting that directly to that blog. So I’m gonna write that mess over here and then share it over there

If someone somehow follows this blog, but not my main blog this all takes place in the She-ra D&D AU and you should definitely follow that blog too

I just wanna warn you that this started as a joke and that I’m very VERY bad at writing smut. I’m so sorry for anyone reading this expecting any kind of quality

and now onward with the smut:

Adora enjoyed being in the same room as Catra as she played video games. She loved listening to the little noises she made when she did well or when she got frustrated, and sometimes these games also had some pretty good soundtracks and cutscenes she could enjoy. Devil May Cry 5 was specially good at those things, both as a game and as a source of that particular brand of Catra noises and today it was somehow getting even better at this.

“Did you mess with the audio settings?” Adora asked, putting down her phone “the music is sounding way more...intense than yesterday”

Cara didn’t look away from the game as she answered “Nah, it’s just a weird new mechanic” her explanation was interrupted as she got hit and a deep voice exclaimed ‘DISMAL’ “Damn it! Anyway, the soundtrack changes the better you play the game and I’m just playing it better. It’s kinda like an extra incentive to get good at it”

And just like that Adora was struck by the most devious of ideas “Well, I could think of other incentives you might like” Catra was too distracted by the game in front of her to notice the evil smile in Adora’s face.

“Yeah, like what?” she asked absent absentmindedly, but Adora’s hand lightly touching her thigh snapped her to attention “Hey, Adora, w-what are you doing?”

Adora leaned in and gave her a quick kiss “Well, you’re putting so much effort into getting good at this game that I think you deserve a little reward” Adora could see Catra’s brain melting away, DMC long forgotten, as she could do nothing but nod “If you want your reward you better prove you deserve it” Adora lowered herself and pulled down Catra’s pants “The better you play the better I play. You ok with that?” Once again Catra furiously nodded in agreement.

Catra took a deep breath, it was hard getting in the zone when Adora was all over ‘her zone’, but she focused as best as she could and unpaused the game. Just to immediately regret everything.

She was proud of how good she was at video games and the DMC series was always close to her heart, but Adora was equally good at her task and this was proving to me too much of handicap for her. There was no way in hell she would ask Adora to stop now, but she also wasn’t making things any easier.

She was beginning to feel some relief when she reached Apocalyptic ranking, but Adora followed up on her promise and the increasing intensity caused Catra to flynch. An enemy took advantage of that distraction and immediately knocked her back down to Dismal.

No, Catra would not allow herself to be defeated like this, she was the best at what she did and if she was going down she was going down fighting. She put her game face on - or the closest she could at the moment - and started building up her combo, becoming more and more frantic as higher and higher style rankings were announced.

“Sick Skills!!” that deep voice announced. Come on, she was so close. She was doing her best not to button mash at this point. She could barely hear the sound track getting more intense with each hit “frustration is getting bigger” damn it, that woman didn’t know how right she was right now.

Then so many things happened at the same time. Catra destroyed her devil breaker for one final move, the announcer shouted “Smokin’ Sexy Style!!”, the sound track reached its peak as the singer sang “bang bang bang pull my devil trigger” and Adora popped her own final move.

Catra fell back on the couch, panting hard and hardly keeping her grip on the controller. She looked down to see Adora staring back at her with a self satisfied smile. Oh, she was gonna wipe that smile of her face herself....once she could move from the couch.

Adora seemed to read her intentions quite clearly for she simply giggled, gave Catra a little kiss on the cheek and said “You can pay me back when you finish the level” Oh right, the level. Those demons aren’t gonna slay themselves.

[andreaphobia]

fic: the aerodynamic properties of eggs. (HARUKA & MAKOTO)

Characters: Haruka/Makoto, Kisumi, Asahi Wordcount: ~2200

Summary:

Makoto eggs Haruka's house for a dare, then ends up asking him out.

Also on AO3.

If this was the last thing Makoto ever did, he wanted everyone to know that it was one hundred percent, without a shadow of a doubt, entirely Kisumi’s fault.

He can think of roughly a million other places he’d rather be, and a billion other things he’d rather be doing. Like... flossing, or folding his underpants. Doing his math homework. Literally anything besides standing in the middle of a dark street somewhere in his neighborhood, clutching a carton of eggs, and trying not to hyperventilate until he blacks out.

His phone buzzes in his pocket, and without having to look, he knows what it says. It’s either Kisumi or Asahi, reminding him of the terms of their game. Trying to make sure he doesn’t chicken out. This is a real problem when it comes to Makoto, who is not big on rule-breaking as a whole. Without the reminder that someone out there is keeping tabs on him, he probably wouldn’t be here at all.

Fortunately for the two of them, while Makoto doesn’t make a habit of juvenile delinquency, he is susceptible to peer pressure. Which brings us to the present: Tachibana Makoto has to egg someone’s house.

Why? Because he was dared to, and Kisumi and Asashi already did: it’s as simple as that. Furthermore, neither of them got caught doing it, which raises the stakes somewhat. Now, not only does Makoto have to egg a house, he must also completely avoid detection, Mission Impossible-style. And, if he should be caught, he’s on his own—he’ll have to talk his own way out of it.

(Such are the ways of young men and the idiotic games they play with each other.)

In the first place, Makoto wonders, in increasingly growing dismay, how does one egg a house? He hasn’t the faintest idea. Oh, sure, he can make an educated guess based purely on the necessary physical logistics of it—you know, reach into carton, grasp egg firmly in hand, fling egg, repeat until someone calls the cops, and then hightail it out of there.

But it’s the other stuff that isn’t so clear. Should he stand on the sidewalk to maintain plausible deniability, or get way up close so he doesn’t miss? Would it be more efficient to try throwing the whole carton at once, and, if so, should he do it underhand or overhead? Is an airborne egg likely to retain its physical integrity as it flies, or is there a chance of, say, spontaneous egg combustion?

His phone buzzes again, insistently, and he almost drops the entire carton of eggs on his foot.

“Okay, okay, I got it already,” he mumbles, although it’s not like Kisumi or Asahi can hear him. There’s nothing else for it—he has to do it, consequences be damned.

Makoto fumbles the carton open, then stares at the contents within, immediately paralyzed by the array of choices laid out before him. Should he start with the egg in the top left corner? The one next to it? How much of an effect does the size and shape of the egg have on its aerodynamic properties? Also, does any of this even matter?

He shuts his eyes and snatches one at random, partially squishing it in his panic. This almost certainly compromises its aerodynamic properties; nevertheless, with eyes still shut, he draws his arm back over his shoulder and then flings the fistful of crushed egg in the general direction of the house. And that’s when the lights go on.

Makoto leaps several feet into the air, lets out a high-pitched whisper-scream, and actually does drop the carton of eggs on his foot. Then stumbles, and steps on them, for good measure. A shadowy figure has peeled away from the tree in the front yard, solidifying into the shape of a man. The man is holding a flashlight, the beam of which is pointed directly at Makoto’s face, blinding him.

“So,” a gruff voice says, “you’ve been egging houses on this street, have you?”

“NO!” Makoto wails, immediately. He shields his eyes, which allows him to sort of make out some of the details of the figure who’s standing in the yard pointing the flashlight at him. An adult. An older man, who looks very grumpy indeed. And not at all impressed by Makoto’s denial, either—understandably, given the egg bits dripping from his hand and the carton of broken eggs under his feet.

“A likely story,” the man says, brusquely. “Trying to play dumb even though you’ve been caught in the act, eh?” At last, he lowers the flashlight and crosses his arms, which gives Makoto’s eyes a bit of a reprieve. “Well? What do you have to say for yourself?”

Without any apparent input or engagement from his brain, Makoto’s mouth leaps into action. He babbles something only partially coherent about a dare, something about his friends doing it first and feeling like he had to and he’s really sorry he didn’t mean it he’ll never do it again he doesn’t even like eggs—

“—I see,” the man interrupts, after listening to this word vomit for a solid twenty seconds. “A dare... is that right?” He shakes his head, sighing heavily. “You know, lad, you’re about my Haruka’s age. You really ought to know better.”

Alarm bells are going off in Makoto’s head, but unfortunately his brain is still out to sea, so his mouth can no longer be stopped. It has latched on to the name ‘Haruka’ as someone who can be used as an excuse, and barrels on into oblivion, guns a-blazin’.

“Haruka—um—we—it—my friends dared me—because we’d—gone out on a date—but it didn’t—I mean—we didn’t work out—but I still—”

The man stares at him.

“You... went out with Haruka?” he asks, in a very funny tone of voice.

There’s a lengthy pause, during which Makoto’s brain labors to catch up to the conversation of the past couple of minutes. Then another one, during which he screams internally and tries to rewind time to that period of blissful ignorance, before he was aware of the words that had just come out of his own mouth.

“Uhm...” Finally, Makoto decides that—if nothing else—he can at least make his story internally consistent. (He intuits that this will probably be a mark in his favor, when he’s going up on the stand in juvie court.) “Yes...?”

It comes out sounding like a question, but fortunately the man doesn’t seem to notice. He fixes Makoto with an unreadable look, which lasts for so long that Makoto hyperfixates on the feeling of the sweat dripping down the back of his neck, and starts to panic.

Then the man switches off his flashlight, tucks it under his arm, and turns over his shoulder to bellow, “HARUKA! Get out here!”

After an excruciating minute, the porch light on the front of the house comes on, and the front door swings open. A slim figure emerges from the house wearing flip flops, trotting down the gravel pathway and then down the lawn (taking care to avoid the aborted egg splatter that only ended up making it halfway to the house).

The figure comes up next to the man, who Makoto assumes is his dad, and looks back and forth between the two of them, expressionlessly.

“...What?”

Makoto gulps. Okay, first of all, Haruka is a guy. Which—not a bad thing, but definitely a surprise. Second of all, he’s—uh—how do you say it? Oh, right—smokin’ hot. Shorter than Makoto, with dark, silky hair and blue eyes; nice wrists and cheekbones, and a tight waist that looks just the perfect size for Makoto to grab him by and carry him around. Nice mouth, too, and kinda... sexy... lips. (Even in the privacy of his own head, this thought is enough to make him blush.)

“Boy said he wants to talk to you,” Haruka’s father says, his voice gone weirdly gruff again. “I’ll—uh—leave you two to it.”

“I thought you were trying to catch the kid who was egging houses on our street.”

“Never you mind that. Just—tell me about it later, okay?”

He claps Haruka on the shoulder affectionately, then turns and heads back up into the house.

Haruka watches him leave blankly. Eventually, he turns back to Makoto. He doesn’t say anything, however, and at this point Makoto becomes acutely aware that he is still standing there with egg drippings on his hand, and is standing on a carton of eggs. (As far as good first impressions ago, he figures this probably doesn’t even make the top two hundred.)

“Uh—sorry.” Good start—but future prospects are dim. Anyway, given the fact that he’s been caught with egg on face (and hand—and shoe), he feels like he may as well be honest. What has he got to lose? “My friends dared me to egg your house, and your, um, your dad caught me. So I told him that we... er...” This part is a bit of a sticking point, but he stands firm, “...that it was because we... um... broke up.”

Haruka blinks.

“But we’ve never dated,” he points out, quite reasonably.

“You’re right, we haven’t.”

“I don’t think we’ve even met.”

“Yes, that’s true.”

With the facts of the matter confirmed, Haruka lapses back into what appears to be a thoughtful silence. Makoto is just starting to wonder if he can excuse himself to go wash the egg off his hand yet when Haruka finally speaks.

“But we need to break up anyway.”

“Uhm...” Makoto tries to think about this logically, but his brain is fried. He shrugs, instead. “I guess so? Yeah.”

Haruka nods, like it’s all starting to make sense now. “So we should go out on a date.”

“Yeah, we—wait, what? That wasn’t what I—”

Makoto’s idiot mouth is on the cusp of producing another stream of idiocy when his brain finally seizes the wheel, stopping it in its tracks before it can scuttle his chances with smokin’-hot Haruka any worse. “You... want to go out with me?”

“It only makes sense,” Haruka says—slower this time, as though he’s talking to a moron, which is both kinda funny and also really rude. “We need to break up. But we’ve never dated. So we should date... so that we can break up.”

Makoto blinks. If you selectively disengage all the parts of the brain that process conscious thought, he supposes it almost starts to make a weird kind of sense.

“Uh... where do you... want to go, then?”

Haruka doesn’t hesitate. “The beach. I’m free this weekend.”

On some level, Makoto is starting to feel as though he is perhaps just having a very weird and specific dream. However, dream or not, Haruka still has a sexy mouth and a sexy everything else, too, so at this point it seems reasonable to decide that he’s just going to go wherever this wild ride takes him.

His phone buzzes again, reminding him of its existence. Thanks to that, it occurs to him that maybe they should exchange numbers, so he reaches into his pocket to grab it, and by the time he remembers he has eggy hands it’s already too late.

“Oh, crap—darn it.” Helplessly, he wipes his phone screen off on the seat of his jeans, and then his hand as well, because what the hell, right? “Here, do you want to give me your number, then? Sorry about the... um... the egg.”

Haruka takes the phone from him without a word, dials in a number, then hands it back. Makoto saves it into his contacts, then returns the phone to his pocket.

That seems to be that, and he’s not sure what to do next, so he just laughs, awkwardly. “So... see you on Saturday, I guess...?”

“Bye,” Haruka says, turning to go back into his house.

Part of Makoto feels like he’s won the lottery; another part suspects he’s actually making a mistake. (The last part just enjoys the sight of Haruka walking away; those jeans look like they were made to be peeled off of him.)

The door shuts behind Haruka, and then the porch light goes out, leaving Makoto standing alone in the dark.

For quite some time, he doesn’t move, still processing the events of the last ten minutes. Eventually it occurs to him that he’s got texts waiting, and re-extracts his phone. There are several unread messages in his inbox:

10:31pm > no waiting! no pulling out! the house must be egged! THE GAME HAS SPOKEN!

10:32pm > did you get caught?

10:37pm > you got caught, didn’t you?!

10:40pm > WE’RE DISAVOWING ALL KNOWLEDGE OF YOU, OPERATIVE MAKOTO!!!

Makoto sighs, scrapes a fleck of egg shell off his phone’s screen, and hesitantly types out a reply to the last message.

10:42pm > I’m not really sure what just happened, but I... got a date, somehow?

The reply is nearly instantaneous (“WHAT?!?!?!”, though depicted here with less punctuation for brevity’s sake), but Makoto has already put his phone away. After being put through the wringer like that, the least he can do for revenge is make them wait a couple of hours for all the juicy details.

As he reaches down to scoop up his ruined carton of eggs, it occurs to him that he never told Haruka his name. Makoto’s gotta admit, he admires the chutzpah of a guy who’ll ask a complete stranger out without even knowing what to call him. Well, that’s what he got Haruka’s number for (and thank God he’d had the foresight for it).

Feeling strangely cheerful for no particular reason at all, he picks up his eggs and heads on home.

[carebear102279]

Halloween party

Sylvie was at home getting ready for the Halloween party at molly’s. Her costume was a sexy pinup sailor costume, that was a two piece. High waisted blue short and a crop top. Plus a sailor hat. Her hair was done in a retro 1940s style. Bright red lipstick. She definitely looked hot. She put on her long black coat. Grabbed her keys and headed out the door. Arriving at molly’s she saw antonio’s truck. She took a deep breath and got out of her car. She walked into molly’s, saw her exes eyes on her. His costume was camouflage pants and a olive green tank shirt. With black army boots. Yep he looked sexy.

Sylvie saw kelly and went up to talk to him. She still had her coat on. “Hi kelly, nice pirate costume.”

Kelly looked at sylvie “Ummmm I like yours too. What are you suppose to be a bag lady.”

Sylvie smacked kelly in the chest. “Shut up kelly. My costume is underneath my coat.” She took off her coat to reveal her sexy sailor costume.

“Wow sylvie you definitely look sexy.” Kelly couldn’t take his eyes off of her. “Someone else is looking at you.”

Sylvie turned and saw antonio staring at her, mouth wide open. “Well kelly, he definitely doesn’t approve of my costume. But who the hell cares what his opinion is. Let’s go get a drink.”

Approaching the bar, gabby waited on them. “Damn sylvie you definitely look hot!!! You want your usual?”

Sylvie “yes, that sounds good.” She sat down next to kelly.

“So kelly, are you seeing anyone?”

“No, just not ready. Plus the right girl hasn’t come along. When you find someone that makes you feel things you never felt before. No one else can measure up to them.”

Sylvie put her hand in Kelly’s hand. “Trust me I know what you mean. My heart is still hurting, no matter what I do.”

Kelly “you want my advice?”

Sylvie “I have a feeling you’re going to give it to me anyways.”

Kelly “I can’t bring anna back, no matter what. Death is permanent. The man you love is standing right over there. Talk to him, make the first move.” Kelly kissed sylvie on the cheek and he walked away.

Jay halstead came and sat by sylvie. Looking at her “Sylvie you’re smokin hot in your costume.”

Sylvie smiled “thanks jay. Listen I’m sorry to hear about you and erin. It’s never easy letting go of someone you are in love with.”

Jay knew sylvie was sincere. Plus she could understand what he was going through. It’s clear to him that sylvie was still in love with antonio. Jay knew antonio better then most, antonio was definitely in love with her.

Jay “thanks sylvie. I hope she’ll come back one day. But there are no guarantees. I was going to propose to her. I have know I idea why I just told you that.”

Sylvie “hey, jay I get it. If you ever want to talk, I’m here. I’m a really good listener. I just wonder if I’ll ever find happiness again, maybe there’s something wrong with me. Every relationship I’ve had always ended, with my heart broken.”

Jay put his arm around her. “Hey, sylvie there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re beautiful, smart, a hell of a paramedic. You see the good in everyone. I know antonio broke your heart. But I also know antonio, he broke his own heart. Laura put him through hell when they were married and she continues to make sure he will never find happiness. He was happier with you than he has ever been. So of course laura had to ruin it for him.”

Sylvie “thanks jay. I can’t talk to gabby about it. I look at her and I see antonio. God jay I miss that man so much. He made me happy too, he made me believe that I deserve to be loved. Then he told me I deserve better then him. That he’ll never be able to put me first, that I deserve to be put first. But jay, I would never ask him to put me ahead of his kids. First and foremost he’s a dad, I knew that. His kids are an important part of his life. He’s a great father. But it’s over, maybe I should just move on with someone else.”

Jay wanted to ask her out. Both of them were lonely. But he could never hurt antonio. He cared to much for him as a friend. Gabby would kill him.

Sylvie “Jay are you ok?”

Jay “yeah, just alot on my mind. So if you’ll excuse me, I see Atwater.”

Sylvie turned around to see antonio standing there, staring at her. She bit her lower lip. A habit that she did. God she wanted to move on, but just couldn’t. She felt like she was being unfaithful to antonio. But jay was cute, they could work. Heck even kelly.

Antonio continued to stare at her. She looked hot in her costume. But at the same time he didn’t approve of her wearing it. It barely covered anything. He decided to make the first move and talk to her. He sat down next to her. “Hi sylvie.”

Sylvie “hi antonio.”

Antonio “so how have you been?”

Sylvie “just ok. How have you been?”

Antonio “well I’m back at intelligence. It’s been a adjustment. But I’m happy to be back.”

Sylvie didn’t know what to say anymore. This was extremely awkward. Antonio had to make the first move, she wasn’t going to do it.“

Antonio "Sylvie, I’ve missed you.”

Sylvie “I’ve missed you too.”

Antonio “are you seeing anyone?”

Sylvie “no. You?”

Antonio “no.”

Sylvie “don’t even think about giving be your coat. Remember I know you.”

Antonio smiled “well you do look extremely hot in your costume.”

Sylvie “thanks, that was the idea. You look extremely sexy in your costume.”

Antonio reached for her hand. Hoping she didn’t pull away. She didn’t, she continued to look at him. Chewing on her lower lip. He reached for her face, pulling her in for a kiss. She kissed him back.

Sylvie “antonio, we need to talk first before we jump each other. Which is were this will go.”

Antonio “I know. But you drive me crazy.”

Sylvie “so talk antonio.”

Antonio “you’re not going to make this easy.”

Sylvie “nope.”

Antonio “I regret every day, walking away from you. It’s the biggest mistake I’ve made in my life. I’ve let my ex wife dictate my life for to long. I love you so much. I miss you so much. What I’m trying to say is will you give me another chance?”

Sylvie had tears in her eyes. “I love you too. I know you can’t control laura. But I can’t get hurt again either.”

Antonio “I’m going to do my best and be the man you deserve.”

Sylvie “That’s all I need to hear. I love you and I miss you. So yes I’ll give you another chance.”

Antonio “really?!?!”

Sylvie “really.” She kissed him passionately. He returned the kiss. Then he pulled her in for a hug. Both of them had tears in their eyes. Both knowing that their love was worth fighting for.

Gabby came up to antonio and sylvie. “Ok you two, I’m happy that you both realized how stupid you were. But seriously if you’re going to continue making out. Go to your apartment antonio. After all I don’t think sylvie’s roommates don’t want to see you guys climb each other.”

Antonio “roommates? What is gabby talking about?”

Sylvie “ I moved in with cruz and otis. They got a bigger apartment. So I moved into their third bedroom. Look antonio they are just roommates, just friends. Trust me that’s all there is.”

Antonio “ok. I’m not sure how I feel about your living arrangements. But I do trust you completely.”

Sylvie “thanks for trusting me. They are like brother’s to me.”

A slow song started playing “dance with me, sylvie.”

He led her to the area where people were dancing, pulled her in close. Both getting lost into each other. He was lost in sylvie’s big blue eyes. He vowed never to make thise blue eyes sad again.

“So antonio do you work tomorrow?”

Antonio “actually I have the day off.”

Sylvie “hey me too!”

Antonio “so what do you want to do after the party?”

Sylvie was running her hands through his hair. “Well I was thinking we could leave now and maybe go back to your apartment. Unless you wanted to go back to mine.” She had a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

Antonio “you are so cute when you’re teasing me. There will only be you and me at my apartment, so that’s where we are going. Not that cruz and otis are great people. I just want to hold you in my arms, without interruptions.”

Sylvie “ok let’s go now. Otherwise we’ll scar gabby for life.”

Antonio “Let’s just get your jacket.”

Sylvie “come on its warm outside. Now the overprotective antonio appears.”

Antonio “trust me I wanted to cover you the minute I saw your costume. Now all I want to do is get you home and remove that costume from your body slowly.” He helped put her jacket on.

Gabby was standing right there, she heard everything her brother said. “If you are worried about scarring me for life, you’ve succeeded.”

Antonio had a gleam in his eyes, he looked at sylvie. “Well gabby consider it payback on the time I walked in on you and matt.” Sylvie rolled her eyes at her boyfriend.

Whispering in his ear “Let’s go, I want you bad. Make sure you have your handcuffs handy, plus the key.”

“I thought you were a good girl.” He knew the one part of her life the whole good girl image went out the window. Which was a very good thing. Especially he only knew this side of her.

“Well antonio, we both know that the whole good girl image doesn’t apply to sex.” She winked at him.

Gabby looked like she was going to throw up. “Alright please go, both of you. I don’t need to here about your sick twisted sex life.”

Sylvie “ah gabby, you love us both. See you later gabby.”

She could feel him tense up, but he let out a low moan. He took her hand and led her out the door. “We’ll get my car later. Right now I’m all yours antonio.”

Getting in his truck, he drove away. She was kissing his neck, he had all he had to do to stay on the road. Usually he would’ve stopped her. But he didn’t want to. He got home, got out of his truck. Went over to carry sylvie into his apartment. Reaching the elevator, his lips were still attached to hers.

[recentanimenews]

Devil May Cry 5 is Back with Amazing Smokin’ Sexy Style Gameplay!

This review might have taken quite a while to put together, but that’s because I’ve had such a hard time pulling myself away from Devil May Cry 5 to write this that I’m really spending the time writing this thinking about going back to it and working on my combos, working my rankings, wondering if I can actually beat the prologue boss… There’s so much about this game swirling in my head that I feel I could probably write this review in chunks for months and not say enough about it. While it may seem unorthodox, if you simply are on the fence and want to know if the game is worth your time, here’s my unequivocal answer: Yes, absolutely, go buy it right now or as soon as you can get your hot little hands on the game. With that said, if you’re still on the fence, or want to know why I’m so high on Devil May Cry 5, I’ll be happy to fill you in, so pull up a seat and get comfortable. Please note that this review does not contain spoilers, so there’s no need to worry about that!

When Devil May Cry 5 was first announced, I’ll be honest that I had some apprehension over it. It was so long ago that Devil May Cry 4 came out, and honestly let’s just not talk about DmC (A game that, I will say, had some good ideas about combat and nothing else), that I wondered if there was really anything good that could come of it. But Resident Evil 7's release in 2017 gave me pause. Capcom has done an amazing job revamping one of their other flagship series through the RE Engine, and Resident Evil 7 and the Resident Evil 2 remake were so fantastic that I started thinking about what could be possible (and, historically, these two series are indeed linked; Devil May Cry was what became of an early concept for Resident Evil 4). After playing through Resident Evil 2 recently (both for review and to get that delicious Platinum trophy), I started getting even more excited for Devil May Cry 5’s potential, and suffice to say I was not at all disappointed. Devil May Cry 5 feels like both a relaunch and a sequel, a remake of Devil May Cry 3 and 4 and yet also something entirely new. Whatever magic Capcom has concocted with the RE Engine games, I hope it continues!

The first thing that struck me as I played Devil May Cry 5 was the fact that I just wanted to keep playing. Getting an A (or, even worse, a B!) on a stage sent me into a frenzy to start it over again and get that S rank. I needed to get the best ranks possible, and there was no real reason to do so; I just wanted to keep playing the game and showing it that I was even better at it the second time around. Devil May Cry has always been about stylish combat and extreme combo chains, and Devil May Cry 5  keeps that in mind with all of the new tools at your disposal and crisp, slick combat controls. Even better, every character you play as is so unique that you’ll find yourself conflicted every time the game offers you the choice to select between Nero, V, and Dante, making the option to replay levels with different character choices even more enticing; after all, you really want to see how that boss stacks up against a totally different strategy, right? When the game isn’t putting you in combat arenas, you’re traveling through some frankly gorgeous levels solving puzzles and platforming to find the next secret mission, hidden blue or purple orb, or even just a cache of red orbs to help fund that next upgrade. Stages never feel drawn out, to the point that replaying the same one multiple times because you want a better score or simply just enjoy the level is easy to do, making this game an amazing time sink that you can easily get lost in.

The three heroes available to you are my favorite thing about this game, as the developers seem to have solved the multiple protagonist problem that tends to plague action games: how do you make multiple characters play different, but all be easy to use, learn, and master, while also keeping them equally interesting? I was at first totally expecting Dante to steal the show (and, really, he kind of does, but more on that in a bit), but I actually found myself playing one character, only to be itching to switch to another one and play them again. Nero is perhaps the most basic of the protagonists to play as, and the first one you’ll get to mix things up with. Nero’s kit involves his sword (which he can still rev like a motorcycle), guns, and the new mechanic, Devil Breakers. Nero’s original arm is missing, and beautiful, amazing, star of the show best character Nico (cough) has whipped up something for Nero to use: a selection of wild arms that allow him to grab enemies, slow time, pierce armor, or even ride around on it like a jet powered skateboard! Nero’s Devil Bringers add so much variety to his style of play that you can truly play Nero the way you like; if you want to focus on powerful blows and armor penetration, you can do it. If you want to use the Ragtime to slow down time around enemies for that perfect escape from a cluster of foes, or to help extend your combo, go for it!

My personal favorite is the Punch Line, which is the skateboard one; aside from using it to traverse levels, firing off the Punch Line sends it homing in on enemies to land a series of blows that can help take the heat off while you fight other enemies, or just boost your Style Meter during combos. No matter what, the Devil Breaker will become your new favorite toy in the game, grabbing enemies from almost any position and letting you lay the beatdown on them in style. It’s amazing to send enemies crashing to the ground with a combo ender, only to launch the Devil Breaker at them and snap them right back up into the air for you to do it all over again.

V, on the other hand, plays nothing like the other two characters, to the point that V may actually be the most interesting character in the game and the real breakout star. After all, Devil May Cry was always about getting yourself deep into the action and letting the combos fly, dodging at the last second for extra points and avoiding damage at all costs. V, however, doesn’t really do much on his own, forcing you to keep him away from enemies while his two demon familiars do all of the real work for you. V took some getting used to for me at first, but once the unique, distant style of play clicked, I found V to be one of my favorites in the game. Instead of having a melee and projectile weapon, V’s two familiars fill those roles, with one being assigned as your ‘ranged’ option and the other your ‘melee’ option, with a third one summonable through use of Devil Trigger to wreak havoc on the battlefield.

Having V walk around the battlefield nonchalantly reading poetry while using all 3 of his demons and then sauntering in to finish off the enemies was oddly some of the coolest moments in the entire game for me (and, oddly enough, I usually get Smoking Sexy Style ranks with V more often than anyone else). I was at first the most reluctant to play as V because of the fact that, as the new character, he didn’t have much of a series of mechanics to build off of like the other two did, but I was greatly surprised by how organic V felt, and how fun his style of play really is, not to speak about the fact that his characterization is probably one of the other highlights of the game, with his droll, super serious tone still meshing with Devil May Cry’s usual high-octane silliness.

Finally, both in the game and in this review, we arrive at Dante. Oh, Dante. I was actually totally surprised at how natural it felt to play as Dante after all this time! If you’ve played previous Devil May Cry games, especially 3 and 4, you’re likely going to feel like slipping into Dante is like putting on your favorite pair of jeans: comfortable, but still stylish. Dante is equipped with his four stances, Trickster, Gunslinger, Swordmaster, and Royal Guard, as well as a compliment of melee and ranged weapons (4 each by the end of the game). I almost worried that Dante would be the most boring to play as since he was the most similar to other incarnations, but then the game gave me a motorcycle that turns into 2 giant clubs and a cowboy hat that spends Red Orbs to make enemies drop more Red Orbs, and also makes them wear tiny little cowboy hats themselves.

And that doesn’t even begin to discuss how much fun the nunchuck/pole weapon is; honestly, Dante is probably the most fun character to play as in the entire game, because you’ll probably know exactly what to expect, while also being surprised as the new toys you’ll get to play with. I loved every second of the game I spent as Dante, and while I could probably say that for every character in the game, I really loved Dante, with all of the goofy, cheesy over the top action, one-liners, and other aspects of his character that I had just missed seeing for so long. It felt like an old friend suddenly showed back up and you picked up right where you two left off, even if you both look a bit more grey than you did before. Regardless of which character you play (and you will at some point play all of them anyway), each one controls great, and the game feels incredibly responsive to your inputs, making combat feel as slick as it needs to look on screen for Devil May Cry to really work at its best.  

Slick might be the best way to describe the entire game; the graphics are amazing, characters look and sound great, and the music is that mix of cheesy metal and buttrock that you not only expect from Devil May Cry games, but demand; extending combos longer to hear more bars from Devil Trigger play is something I found myself doing every time, and I think you’ll likely feel the same way. The story is well presented as well, and longtime fans of Devil May Cry will enjoy the callbacks and connections to the previous games made throughout the story. If you’re new to the series, don’t worry; a small movie you can play upon launching the game briefly recaps all of the Devil May Cry games, as well as the anime, ensuring that you’re caught up for the main event of Devil May Cry 5. And then, of course, there’s Nico. Nico is the newest character in Devil May Cry 5 aside from V, and she is the inventor responsible for Nero’s new Devil Breakers (amongst other things). Nico’s connection to the rest of the cast is something best left unspoiled, but I will say a few more things about her: she’s absolutely the best new addition to the series, and possibly one of the reasons it succeeds as well as it does. Every time you get a chance to do mid-level upgrades, you summon Nico, who appears in increasingly over the top segments that left me howling after each one. Nico’s an absolute knockout addition to the series, and I hope that whatever comes next for Devil May Cry after 5 makes sure to include her in the game again. Where’s my Nico and her van DLC, Capcom?!

There are some other little additions that help round out Devil May Cry 5’s experience. You have some unlockable files and other goodies to view after completing missions and challenges, some of which add some additional lore to the background of the game. You’ve also got a unique take on Co-Op if you play the game online: in stages where multiple characters would be present, you may actually see a small indicator that says “Co-starring” and someone’s name, which means that you’re playing the stage at the same time as another person is as a different character, and you can get some little bonuses to your score if you get ranked ‘Stylish’ by your partner. It can be really fun if you happen to get a glimpse of what they’re doing, too; the first time I actually noticed it was a person and not a script, the feature kind of blew my mind!

After you beat the game, you’ll be treated to the usual styles of new experiences you might expect from Capcom games. Similar to Resident Evil, beating Devil May Cry 5 lets you gain access to some higher difficulty challenges, and like the previous games lets you keep your unlocks to make these challenges even more fun to experiment with. The devs have talked about the upcoming DLC seeing the return of the Crimson Palace challenge areas, meaning that as you work on perfecting your Devil May Cry skills in harder difficulties, you’ll probably be just in time to really push yourself to the limit with even more places to show off your stylish combat mastery! And, if the DLC schedule and support for Devil May Cry 5 is even half as good as Resident Evil 7 and the Resident Evil 2 remake, you can expect to see a lot of great additional content showing up for you to play around with.

As it is, if you get the premium upgrade (which is something I highly recommend), you’re in for some real treats, most especially being the music add ons and the live action cutscenes. Just, make sure you play the game through first before using the live action stuff! No matter what, if you love Devil May Cry or simply love stylish action combat games, you’ll find something to enjoy in Devil May Cry 5. So what are you waiting for? Go and get your hands on it, and if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some Dante Must Die levels to master...

REVIEW ROUNDUP

+ RE Engine on full display with amazing graphics, frame rate, and fluid combat.  

+ Combat is fun and amazing, giving you that mix of crazy and controlled that you want out of a Devil May Cry game.

+ Newcomers V and Nico are amazing additions, and every character you play as feels wholly unique and amazing to play with.

+ Lots to do in the game as you hunt down secret missions, upgrades, stage rankings, and more; game will have you coming back for more every time.

+/- You might want to invest in some ice packs for your wrist; this game is going to test your ability to use every button on a controller and keep that action going!

  Have you gotten your copy of Devil May Cry 5? Let us know what you think of the game in the comments!

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Nicole is a features and a social video script writer for Crunchyroll. Known for punching dudes in Yakuza games on her Twitch channel while professing her love for Majima. She also has a blog, Figuratively Speaking. Follow her on Twitter: @ellyberries

  Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[wavenetinfo]

His girlfriend can double as a video girl!

Travis Scott and Kylie Jenner have been going strong for the past three months — and even though they’ve been keeping the intimate details of their relationship private, it seems like they’re ready to put their love display.

The 25-year-old hip hop star can’t wait to show his girl off — and what better way than to have her star in his own music video! A source revealed to Hollywood Life that he’s already planning to film a video starring the 19-year-old reality star.

MORE: Aw! Kylie Jenner Sees Travis Scott As “Baby Daddy Material”

“It wouldn’t really be Travis’ style to release a song about her, he likes to keep what they have private and special and doesn’t want to put it all out there in the public domain,” the source revealed. “That being said, he would love to use her in one of his future videos. Travis believes that Kylie is the sexiest chick of all time, and smokin’ hot, so she would make an absolutely amazing video vixen.”

This wouldn’t be the first time Kylie starred in a music video. She was the leading lady in her ex-boyfriend Tyga’s music video for his 2015 hit “Stimulated” — which caused quite the stir at the time because of the super raunchy PDA between them that was caught on camera, and also because of the song’s NSFW lyrics.

MORE: Tyga Has Reportedly “Given up” on Getting Back Together With Kylie Jenner

But Travis wouldn’t want to copy off of Tyga’s video, and he has his own vision for how he’d want the music video to look.

“He loves nothing more than Kylie looking and acting super sexy,” the source explained. “It really turns him on to know that other dudes are lusting after his woman. So yeah, he would definitely use her in his music videos — he just needs to find the perfect project.”

Scroll through the gallery below to see take a look back at Kylie’s dating history!

12 June 2017 | 4:27 pm

Emma Hernandez

Source : In Touch Weekly

>>>Click Here To View Original Press Release>>>

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