#nothing major just family visiting and everything being sorta crazy busy

[mercymaker]

not my goofy ass reblogging that internet positivity post and then disappearing in the forest and not returning for two years

[princesstadashi]

Ghost Whisperer! Fred/Ghost! Tadashi Fredashi AU

So Fred comes from a long line of ghost whisperers (for lack of a better term)--not everyone in the family gets “the gift”, but there is always at least one in every generation. They’re able to not only see and interact with ghosts/spirits but touch them and have other special powers (more on that in a bit). Every generation is charged with investigating tales of the paranormal and either disproving that anything paranormal is going on or else help the spirit in question--with moving on, usually, but if they’re a chill spirit happy with where they are and not causing any problems they may help them with any minor problems that they’re having but leave them alone to continue on with their spirit business. The ghost whisperers don’t really keep their powers a secret but of course there are believers and nonbelievers. Fred, for his part, took up the family mantle once he came of age after training with his dad, and he’s not looking for publicity or anything but he does write books based on his adventures/journeys and he’s gotten some small notoriety for them, although a lot of people assume that they’re fiction and just enjoy them for the stories not believing that they’re real and Fred’s pretty okay with that.

Now that the backstory is set, jumping ahead to present day: Fred’s about twenty-six now, graduated college and working as a writer/spirit investigator full time, has his own little apartment and is pretty happy with life. Currently working on a book investigating some newer stories of paranormal activity that has cropped up, and he’s been curious about the story of the ghost at SFIT that has been connected by legend to a student who died in a fire about seven years ago and now haunts the building that was built over the building that burned down with said student inside. By all reports it’s a benevolent spirit for the most part but there have been a few not-so-happy reports (nothing harmful but a few students have been scared by the sight of a burning, screaming man) and Fred decides it’s time to go check it out, see if there’s anything that needs to be done--he’d like to think the spirit is okay but the burning thing has him worried that the spirit isn’t doing so okay and either needs some help to calm down or move on.

Fred gets permission from the school to go visit the building but does so quietly, goes in disguised as a college student and doesn’t have them clear anyone out because he wants to see how the spirit interacts with the people in the building to see if it’s actually benevolent or not. Fred gets there about midnight-ish, it’s near the end of the semester so lots of students in the study area stressing out over finals/major projects so no one pays any attention to him. It takes a  little while for the spirit to appear but finally he spots the spirit walking around, and yeah, he seems pretty chill, even caring--going around putting blankets over students who have fallen asleep, getting the coffee dispenser to start running again when the machine jams up, that sort of thing. Fred’s pretty convinced that he’s an okay guy, but the spirit doesn’t really seem “all there”--some spirits are more cognizant of what’s going on around them than others, this one seems to sort of be working in auto pilot and mumbling to himself, and after following him around for a while (spirit doesn’t seem to notice Fred) he manages to catch the word “Hiro” being said repeatedly, usually in things that sound like, “Hiro, you shouldn’t be sleeping without a blanket” or “Hiro, don’t study so hard, you need to take a break!” So Fred gets the idea that whoever Hiro is, he’s probably part of the reason this spirit has stuck around instead of moving on.

Finally, when the study area has mostly cleared out except students who have fallen asleep (so around 3 am probably) Fred finally approaches the spirit. Spirit doesn’t really seem to hear anything that he’s saying until he finally asks, “So, who’s Hiro?”

Spirit immediately seems much more present but also extremely anxious.

“Wait, Hiro? Is he here? Did he finally come to see me again?”

“Um, sorry, I’m not sure who Hiro is…”

Spirit does not take well to this. Fred tries to keep him calm but spirit starts crying, saying that he hasn’t seen Hiro in so long, which then evolves into, you guessed it, spirit bursting into flames and screaming--only not really screaming so much as sobbing. Fire isn’t burning anything so the spirit isn’t a danger to anyone, he’s just really, really sad. Which makes Fred go, “Okay, yep, this guy definitely needs my help.”

Finally he grabs the spirit’s hand because that’s one of his powers--if he touches a spirit it usually makes them much more cognizant, and it works, spirit’s fire goes out and he’s looking around like, “What the fuck is going on and where am I?”

Fred is able to introduce himself properly, and he’s afraid that the spirit (who is of course Tadashi) doesn’t know that he’s a ghost but fortunately ghost is aware of this and basically what happened is this:

Tadashi’s body burned in the fire so he wasn’t able to be buried at the graveyard, there was just a memorial stone, which is part of the problem--no proper burial, plus the awful way he died = spirit not moving on. When the new building was built he had just enough presence to hold his place in the ground and not be moved with the other dirt and rubble to the dump and eventually essentially became a part of the new building’s foundation, which is why he’s tied to there and not somewhere else. So he haunts the new building, and while Hiro was going to college and had classes/studied there Tadashi was fine, he could still look after Hiro and just started looking after all the students who came into the building. During the summers when Hiro wasn’t there he’d kinda start losing touch with reality a bit but Hiro would always come back in the fall so that held him together. But after Hiro graduated, Hiro never came back and that’s when Tadashi really started losing it (he’s a spirit, cut him some slack. ^^;) Hiro didn’t mean to abandon him, he absolutely kept visiting Tadashi’s stone in the graveyard but didn’t realize that unfortunately that didn’t do much good since that’s not where Tadashi’s spirit is tied. So Tadashi kind of continued on looking after everyone in the building but started essentially hallucinating that every student was Hiro, but if someone would bring up Hiro (since Hiro went on to be a successful inventor with his own company) Tadashi would come a bit back to reality but when he realized that Hiro wasn’t really there it would just bring back all the pain, ergo ghostly meltdown.

Fred, having heard all of this, is like, “Okay, so obviously can’t just leave you alone here, and since you’re not doing too hot being away from Hiro but you’re tied here I think we need to look into helping you move on.” How does moving on happen? Fred figures if he can help Tadashi find Hiro and say goodbye to him (Fred can give other people the temporary power to see spirits if he is holding both their hand and the hand of the spirit in question, kinda like a circuit) then Tadashi should be able to move on. 

Fred can help Tadashi leave the building as his guide, but Tadashi can only move from place to place as long as Fred is with him, he can’t just go off into the world on his own due to the ties thing. It’s an adventure and a half just trying to get to see Hiro since Hiro’s kinda famous and also doesn’t believe in ghosts so thinks Fred is crazy or is trying to pull a very cruel joke, but finally after about two weeks of trying (during which time Tadashi takes up residence in Fred’s apartment temporarily and is like, “You live like this??? You are twenty-six, you cannot live on tv dinners, and you need to start doing your laundry!” and since Tadashi’s a poltergeist and can move things he starts cooking healthy meals for Fred and cleaning up the apartment) he finally manages to get Hiro and Tadashi to make contact.

At this point Fred is like, “Okay, good, they can finally say goodbye and I can have my life back!” But NOPE. Hiro’s not wanting to let go of Tadashi and is talking about trying to make some sort of glasses that allow him and others to see Tadashi without Fred’s help, and of course once Tadashi finds out that Hiro has a husband and a baby he wants to meet Hiro’s family. So Fred’s just like, “UGH. FINE. You can stay around long enough to do that BUT THEN YOU NEED TO MOVE ON.” 

Welp. Glasses for seeing spirits are not going well. And Fred is trying everything he can think of to convince Tadashi that it is time to move on on his own, but Tadashi is being stubborn af. Fred finally realizes the problem--Tadashi’s unfinished business isn’t saying goodbye to Hiro. Tadashi’s unfinished business is making sure that Hiro lives a healthy and long and full life and seeing him through to the end of it. At which point Fred is just like, “FUCK. I AM STUCK WITH THIS GUY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.”

Only Fred realizes maybe he doesn’t mind having Tadashi around so much. Actually, he’s gotten used to having Tadashi living in the apartment, taking care of the place and helping him proofread his writing and watching movies with him and hanging out and he maybe is sorta kinda falling for him. So, after a lot of thinking things over, Fred decides that he’s going to cash in his one very special ghost whisperer power.

Ghost whisperers, meeting lots of ghosts, are likely to find one that they grow very fond of, platonically or romantically, and want to keep around long term. So there is a ceremony that a ghost whisperer can do that binds a spirit to them--it’s beneficial for the spirit because it gives them a mostly corporeal form (but it will always slightly unnerve a lot of humans because even though they look human there is just an “otherness” about their aura) and can stay on Earth for an extended period of time. Downside for the ghost is that they have to stay in fairly close physical proximity to the person they are bound to, there’s kind of a mental/emotional bond which not everyone can handle, and also when the person they are bound to dies that’s it, no going back to being a spirit, they both automatically move on together. (So it’s kinda like a witch and a familiar but also different.)

Fred eventually talks to Tadashi about this, and they consider the possibility thoroughly before going through with it. Finally they agree that it would be good for Tadashi to actually be able to be around his family and friends again, but also Tadashi is down with continuing to live with Fred and helping him out, going on ghost hunting adventures with him, etc. as his “companion”. Both of them are kind of dancing around the feelings thing until they perform the ceremony (which isn’t creepy or anything, actually it’s pretty soft and sweet, sort of just holding hands and saying some words like making a vow) and after it’s over Tadashi jokingly says, “I guess you may now kiss the bride?” “I’m gay so that would have to be the groom, I think.” “Then you may now kiss the groom!” And Fred kinda does a little cheek peck and Tadashi gets flustered, but also coming back to sort of the mortal world Tadashi gets a bit more of his humanity back and has a realization moment and is like, “HOLY SHIT I AM SO SORRY. I’m bound to you and you have to keep me with you, how are you ever supposed to date or marry anyone?!!!!” “Well maybe I don’t want to marry someone else!” “...Wait, maybe it’s just coming back to the mortal plane confusing me, but did you just propose to me?” “Well, it’s a bit soon for marriage, but maybe you’d be my boyfriend?” And Tadashi gets more flustered but of course says yes!!! 

(I think when he gets a mostly mortal form again he ages up to the age he would be mentally/emotionally so it’s not a nineteen and a twenty-six year old. Just as a side note!)

So yeah, there will be awkward/emotional reintroductions to everyone, Tadashi can’t really go back to school or get a regular job but he’s pretty okay with helping Fred out and he still gets to be around his family/probably collaborates with Hiro on invention ideas :) Also I’m imagining them going on a spirit hunt for a boy in Pennsylvania who drowned in a lake who everyone says still haunts the lake who turns out to be Jack Frost because that would be kinda cool, yeah? :D (He’s perfectly fine so Fred has no issues with leaving him be but is also VERY excited about the Guardians XD)

[mariajustinteriordesigns]

Corona, Corona, Corona!

Coronavirus. I’ve intentionally not addressed it here or on Instagram because, well, everyone is talking about it. It’s all we read, see, discuss, and often, try to avoid. It’s on our minds constantly. But today I want to talk about it because lots of you have asked how I’m doing over here in Germany and well, I want to pull my head out of the sand and say something.

It’s strange. It’s quiet and empty on the streets most of the day. Here in Germany it’s not such a big deal as it is in Italy, China, America… But it’s still felt, you still worry. We just had nearly 4 weeks of lockdown, which was was rough. Things have lifted a bit, but still, we can’t go to or host parties, no concerts or fests can take place, large stores and malls are closed, gyms and schools are closed, no classes or workshops, all of the design fairs for most of the year are canceled, it’s a mess.

Everyone you pass in the grocery store looks at you with suspicious eyes, you return the same uncertain gaze - “Are they infected, will they sneeze on me, will I be next?”. I feel like I live in a very strange Sci-Fi film only I’m REALLY living in this strange time and I don’t know when life will be back to normal. Those good old days when you wake up and decide to see friends, colleagues, grab a coffee in your favorite cafe, ride the subway, sit in conference rooms with others, play with your kid in the playground, hug your grandma. My son hasn’t hugged or hung out with his grandmother in a month. He also hasn’t seen or played with any of his friends from kindergarten. That’s rough when you’re six. It’s also rough when you’re not six. I’m a highly sensitive extrovert who loves to hug and touch everything and everyone, so I’m struggling…

In a strange (perverse) way, Corona was sorta exciting at the beginning.

It was, let’s face it, bullshit aside. Kinda like when a hurricane is expected and you’re following the story on the news. You have this strange feeling of excitement coupled with intense fear. It’s sick, but it’s human.

I remember growing up in “hurricane alley” on the beach in South Carolina and each Autumn, we waited. We knew hurricanes would come, and we always lived in fear of the “big one”. We had some major ones when I grew up, followed by intense cyclones that would rip apart our neighborhoods. I remember one day a hurricane came and flooded our neighborhood. I waded in water to my thighs to go visit the neighbor’s kids. Alligators swam in the streets along with fish and water snakes, some highly toxic. I also remember the tornadoes. All of them.

I’ll never forget laying in an empty bathtub when the “sound of a freight train” could be heard. You knew the tornado was there, it was coming, and as you heard the destruction around you, you could only hide inside of something very heavy that would most likely keep you also held in place so that you wouldn’t blow away. Once when I was around 12, one hit our neighborhood and after it left, I walked outside to find sunshine and total stillness. Yet, around me, I could see destruction. Cars tipped over or thrown down the street, houses flattened, neighbors crying, ambulance sirens filling the air. That day we were lucky, 75% of our neighborhood was flattened.

People died. Our home was untouched.

I have to admit, even though I grew up around natural disasters and know the power of nature, I still had a strange sense of excitement when I knew a storm was coming. All the kids in my school did, so I wasn’t the only isolated weirdo who felt that way. It’s strange, how humans are, isn’t it? But you know what, the moment you HEAR or SEE the storm, it’s totally different.

That’s kinda like Corona. When it wasn’t in my neighborhood, it was a little bit exciting to hear about this virus, before reports of people dying started to surface. Then the news went very, very sour after the first death toll numbers from China started showing up. I felt scared and sad, but even then, I felt separated emotionally. I still had my life OVER HERE. It wasn’t going to come to ME.

Did you feel the same?

Then it came to Italy. It affected my friends there. And the businesses that I love. I definitely felt sick to my stomach. Salone, our big European design fair, canceled for April. Corona felt REALLY real then. Yet, Germany still didn’t have any lockdowns in place, so I naively thought, “That’s Italy, maybe it will stay there and end there.” Nope. Then Salone canceled again, for Fall 2020. Suddenly a strong truth rose to the surface.

We were/are screwed.

It’s been about a few months since then, and we’ve been on lockdown for 4 weeks, which will extend into the first week of May, and they will reevaluate things. I look forward (so much) to the weekly grocery store run that we do as a family. It’s the only real social life/excitement that I have these days. We visit the city forest about 3 times a week (it’s behind my house) for exercise. But it’s always so mobbed with the rest of the residents in my city that it doesn’t feel completely safe. We started driving out to the countryside to deserted areas to bike and walk, and breathe. Yesterday we went to the lake, it was wonderful. We all pray this ends soon but inside, we know it won’t.

Some of my dear, close friends have corona, even a family member. I just recovered from a four-month-long bacterial infection in my lungs (that ended mid-February right when corona hit Germany). I feel vulnerable because my lungs are still weak, so I have taken extra precautions to not go outside except when I really must.

Corona is a serial killer.

It’s stalking people around the world, in my country, in my state, IN MY CITY, I hate this thing and want it to end. I hate hearing about it. I’m tired of the conspiracy theories and lies and fake news too. I’m just tired of all of it. I am tired of feeling like I’m on house arrest. I hate watching my son feel lonely.

Yet, with all of this Corona craziness around me, I feel strongly and intensely focused on my goals, my life, my family, my work. I have ZERO distraction, I have found a beautiful new side of myself that has been hiding for years. The Holly that was once so fearless, so full of adventure, the Holly that just jumped in and did things without planning and strategizing - and still got it right. I’ve changed a lot for the past two years, working back in the corporate world again with my magazine. I’ve enjoyed it, but being back in corporate 10 days a month reminds me of the things about corporate life that I was happy to leave in my past when I left in 2005 to become a freelancer. I love the balance of both worlds, but if I had to pick one, I am happiest when I am left on my own to do my thing as a freelancer. My team seems to know this and they let me do my thing because micromanaging me would kill the entire project, and I think they know that by now. HOLLY magazine is beautiful and inspiring but it’s been a hard adjustment for me, and there are some days when the only thing that motivates me to stay on the project is the end result - the inspiring magazine that we create together that definitely makes us all proud to be a part of. It trumps the sometimes corporate pain, though some days the pain can really feel heavy and hard to take and most of all, frustrating. And to be fair, I know my team also feels the same pain, many of them are free birds at heart (like me) and I sense their frustration.

Aside from Corona, my work, my family… What else can I say? I’m staying positive, enjoying all of the sunshine we’ve had for the past month almost non-stop (even if only through the window or on the balcony), and I’m looking ahead to when I can see my friends again and have an excuse to dress up.

I’m extremely keen to get back to the salon, my hair looks horrible lately - like hay - and I’d really love to get a regular gym routine down and use the sauna. But for now, I’m really working on enjoying what I have. I’m able to spend 24/7 with my little boy, which has had its share of frustrations for us both, but has been absolutely awesome for the most part because starting in September, he’ll be in first grade and that’s it - no more little boy home with mama anymore. Something that has been a big part of my life - him - will be a schoolboy and becoming more and more independent and that’s something that Corona gave me - a gift in disguise, that instead of being in kindergarten full-time up until primary school begins, he’s home with me and we are really close and our relationship has deepened a great deal. He has been home all of the time, all to himself, and it’s a good thing for him right now because he needs me. Blessings in disguise are all around me if I just look. Sure, I have little cash flow at the moment like I once did, but cash means nothing ultimately - it’s the hugs from your children, the chats with your husband at 2am, it’s the long baths and the face masks while reading books that you haven’t read in years.

“Only boring people are bored.”

— Betty Draper, Epi 6, Season 3, Mad Men

I’ve also baked about 8 cakes in 4 weeks, so I’ve gained about 10 pounds but I’m happy so who really cares. My butt may be bigger, my so is my heart, my intuition, my passion for work and family, my love for my home, my relationship with my blog and Insta followers is bigger and better, and I have a greater appreciation for the little things that I’d not paid attention to at all pre-Corona.

COVID-19 is horrible, what can I say really? But at least each of us has the power to take something good from this strange time, to be positive regardless, and to make our day valuable and meaningful, so just do that, stay healthy and have another slice of cake. Like Betty said in an episode of Madmen that always stuck in my brain, “Only boring people are bored”. Stay creative and curious, often limitation fosters creativity so see if you are able to make something wonderful come from your current limitations…

Thanks For your time, dear readers. Stay safe, positive, and smile.

Love,

Holly

(Photography/Styling: Holly Becker.)