#nothing happened I just don't want these guys in my space jesus fucking christ

[murderofsomeone]

reminder that this is not a place for pedophiles, get the fuck off my profile. no I will not argue with you about it.

[youarethedancingdean]

Day 3 of @steddie-week

Prompt: Discover, First Kiss, Kiss on my List - Hall & Oates

"So, quite the banger, Harrington," Eddie pointed out, which only had Steve chuckle. They were standing in the kitchen of the Harrington's house, both a bottle of beer in their hand. The party was more located in the living room with music and outside on the patio by the pool, they could still hear the going-ons, but it was much calmer in here.

"It's nothing compared to what I used to throw," Steve responded with a shrug. He didn't really know why he'd mentioned that, since the crowd was much more after his own taste these days. Even with the kids running around. "This is better, though," he therefore added and raised his bottle to toast Eddie. "To new friendships." He smiled when the other man clinked their bottles together.

"You know, I never expected us two to get along," Eddie said after their had a few sips of beer. "But I'm glad we are. You're much sweeter than I imagined." Steve blushed, at least he was pretty sure he did. He liked it when Eddie said nice things about him between their usual banter. "So are you," he replied softly and moved to lean against the counter right beside Eddie. Their shoulders were touching, something that happened a lot these days. Soon enough, no more words spoken, their eyes met and he noticed that Eddie was blushing, too.

Although Steve knew that Eddie was into guys, he highly doubted that he actually liked him. There was just no way. Sure, he'd wished for that since the metal head made him realize he was bisexual, but he also knew that there would just be no way. Why would an amazing guy like Eddie want to date anyone like him? Still, Steve couldn't help but glance at his lips, absentmindedly liking his own as he imagined what it would be like to kiss them. Probably breathtaking.

Eddie seemed to realize what was going on in Steve's mind or at least he moved even further into his space. "What are you doing?" he murmered, watching every small move Eddie made. Then it happened. He was kissed. By Eddie Munson. In his parents' kitchen. This couldn't be real, he had to be dreaming. "Dude," he exclaimed, gently pushing Eddie away by his shoulders, but not removing his hands after. "What're you doing?" he asked again.

Eddie's eyes widened and he quickly set his bottle on the counter, moving to leave. "Sorry, guess I got that wrong. I'm so sorry, I'll get out of your hair. Jesus H. Christ, I'm so sorry," he babbled anxiously as he looked around for his stuff and walked to the kitchen's doorway.

"Eddie, wait! It's... it's not... don't leave, okay?" Steve hurriedly pressed out, hoping it would stop Eddie from rushing out of the room. When he did stop but didn't turn around to face him again he added, "You- you didn't get it wrong, okay. I'm just surprised. I've liked you for months now, Robin is pretty sick of hearing about it. Didn't think you'd ever like me back."

Eddie turned around again eventually. "Don't fuck with me, Harrington. If you're pissed that's justified, but don't go on and be mean about it. It was an honest mistake," he begged, his eyes actually a bit watery. Now Steve's eyes widened. He didn't hesitate as he moved closer to Eddie again, the urge to console him unbearable. "I'm not fucking with you," he promised sincerely, cupping his cheek softly. "It's new for me. Liking guys, I mean. You made me realize that."

Eddie's blush deepened and Steve really enjoyed seeing that. "I don't know how this will turn out in the end, but if you do like me back for some god forsaken reason I wanna see where this goes. You wanna do that?" Eddie nodded enthusiastically. It was funny to have him speechless when Steve felt so confident in this just now. He'd always figured it would be the other way around, Eddie alwayd seemed so sure about everything. He supposed, he was wrong about that, too, then. "I'm gonna kiss you again, if you don't mind," Steve whispered with a smile and then leaned in, humming softly as their lips touched again. God, they were ever softer than they looked and kissing Eddie felt so much more real and mind-blowing than anything he could've imagined.

"Never thought I could cross kissing you off my bucket list," Eddie joked quietly after they separated and they both chuckled at that, only to kiss again seconds later.

[showfallmediamaintenance]

[Video transcript begin.]

[The camera shakes as something is typed out, then the video blurs as it is put into someone’s front pocket, it refocuses to show the hideout, and a scared child in the center of the frame. They appear to be holding a pocket knife at anyone who dares approach.]

?: DON'T GET CLOSE TO ME! SHE'S CONTROLLING ALL OF YOU ISN'T SHE! I KNEW SHE WASN'T DEAD YOU WERE ALL LYING!

[Voice identified: ‘Sparrow’ Henderson.]

?: Hey, hey. Sparrow. She’s dead. She’s been dead. For a while. I swear on my life.

[Voice identified: Edgar.]

Sp: QUIT LYING TO ME! SHE'S MAKING YOU SAY THAT! ISN'T SHE!

E: Sparrow, she’s a stain on the floor, she can’t make me say anything.

Sp: LIAR! YOU'VE ALL BEEN LYING! SHE'S GOING TO MAKE ME AN EMPLOYEE! SHE'S GOING TO TAKE ME AWAY AGAIN!

?: Kid, I promise you, she isn't going to do anything. She's dead. Gone.

[Voice Identified: William Keane.]

E: Tell us what happened, we want to help.

[Sparrow shakes their head, looking in every direction they can. Tears streaming down their face.]

Sp: S- She controlled you all… You all hurt me… She… I'M NOT GOING BACK TO THE DARK ROOM I WON'T!

E: You know we’d never do that, kiddo. Come on. It’s alright. We aren’t going to hurt you.

Sp: SHE MADE YOU! SHE MADE YOU HURT ME! I… I… GET AWAY FROM ME!

[A person with extremely muted red hair moves away from behind Sparrow.]

E: Give them space, guys. I’ve… had something like this happen before. It’ll make it worse.

Sp: I WANT MAMA! I WANT MAMA AND CASSIDY! WHERE ARE THEY?

W: Staying right here, dude. [Aside, to Sparrow] Kiddo, just breathe for us, okay?

[Sparrow seemingly looks at William. Their eyes looking bloodshot.]

Sp: Mama's not here… She's at Edgar's… Cassidy…

E: Kid, how can we help you right now? Other than get you Cassidy and Jenny?

[Sparrow seemingly doesn't acknowledge Edgar's words, staring off into nothing as they speak.]

Sp: I want my big sister back… WHY DID THEY TAKE HER! WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY

[A woman can be heard screaming from out of frame, hopping into frame to tackle Sparrow who begins screaming even more.]

Sp: GET OFF OF ME NO NO NO I'M NOT PUTTING A MASK ON!

?: GIVE ME THE FUCKING KNIFE KID! I'M NOT LETTING YOU HURT YOURSELF WITH IT!

[Voice identified: Rose Elizabeth Henderson.]

E: ROSE FUCKING HENDERSON.

Sp: GET OFF OF ME! GET OFF DON'T HURT ME!

W: Rose! Leave them be!

R: LAST TIME SOMEONE HELD A WEAPON CLOSE TO THEM I LOST THEM FOR OVER A FUCKING MONTH! NOT HAPPENING AGAIN WILL!

Sp: LET ME FUCKING GO

[Sparrow jams the pocket knife into Rose's shoulder, by some miracle missing Rose's neck. Causing Rose to slink back in back as Sparrow crawls over to a wall looking at their hands, small bits of Rose's blood on them now.]

E: Jesus Christ– I–

[The camera turns slightly as Edgar looks at both Rose and Sparrow, unsure who to help.]

R: SON OF A BITCH-

W: Edgar, go help Sparrow. I'll deal with this one. [He inclines its head towards Rose. He also begins to hold Rose down, just in case.]

R: I… Fuck…

[Edgar stands up and takes a few steps over to sparrow, his hands up, showing that he has no weapons, as soon as he gets close enough, he kneels down slowly.]

E: Sparrow, I’m not going to harm you in any way, I promise. Just… tell me how I can help you.

Sp: I… I stabbed her… I'm just like Mai. [Muffled.] I'm a monster…

[Sparrow's head remains on top of their knees.]

E: If you’re a monster, I don’t even know what that makes me. You’re fine, it was the most logical response to being tackled like that in your head. We all act irrationally when we’re under high amounts of stress.

R: I saw the kid holding a knife. I did the first thing that came to mind considering… Past events.

[Edgar slumps slightly, the movement visible in the recording. He holds his left hand out to Sparrow, not responding to Rose with anything but a thumbs up with his right hand.]

W: I understand, but. Not the right response, Rose.

Sp: Get the blood off… I don't like it. get it off.

E: We’ll get it off, don’t worry, you just have to let us actually get close to you. Again, I promise that I won’t hurt you. I just want to help.

Sp: I… I…

[Sparrow begins sobbing, a loud ding coming from a computer out of frame.]

E: Can I come any closer? Or do you want me to stay this far?

[Sparrow looks at Edgar with no response, a look of despair mixed with normal pain across their face.]

E: You don’t need to respond verbally, just a nod would be good.

?: [TTS.] They seemingly. Want you to get closer.

[Voice identified: Peony?]

E: Thank you, Peony.

[The camera moves slowly towards Sparrow, until they’re well within arms reach.]

E: Is there anything I can do to help you feel any better? I have a few ideas, but I want to know what would help you best.

Sp: I don't know… I don't remember…

E: That’s alright. I know… well, I can sing a grand total of… three songs from memory.

Sp: That's… three more than me.

E: Would you want that?

[Sparrow weakly nods their head.]

E: Alright, here we go.

[Edgar clears his throat, and begins softly singing a song identified as ‘You Are My Sunshine.’]

[Sparrow seemingly begins calming down, a text to speech voice that is not Peony says “Playing ASMR rain noises.” moments later, the sound of rain is heard from the computer.]

[Edgar continues singing, giving the computer a thumbs up.]

Sp: I… Uh…

[Sparrow yawns.]

P: [TTS.] They are. Sleepy.

W: Aw. Go to sleep Sparrow, it's okay.

Sp: I…

[Sparrow's eyes close and they slump against Edgar's arm. The rain noises continue.]

E: [Whispered, jokingly.] I guess I can never move again. Sorry, everyone.

P: [TTS.] Correct.

W: [Whispered.] Yep. You're stuck there now. No moving.

R: [Whispered.] Sorry guys. Didn't mean to cause that.

W: [Continued Whispering.] It was, a reflex reaction. You just need to assess the situation, dude, nobody blames you.

P: [TTS.] I. Hope they are. Ok.

E: Same here.

W: Me too.

R: Hey guys. Can you all promise something?

E: Yeah?

W: Mhm?

R: No matter what happens, when Sparrow gets out, promise you'll get them straight to Jenny?

E: Of course, but don’t say that like you’re staying.

W: Yeah, you're coming too, no matter what that Emi dick thinks.

R: I plan to get out, I just… In case a fight breaks out in the forest or something? Ok?

E: Alright.

W: On my head be it.

?: Yeah no problem Rose.

[Voice identified: Mari.]

R: Thank you.

[The view the phone has suddenly switches to face the floor a bit more, as Edgar slumps forward. Seemingly having fallen asleep as well.]

W: Y'know, they both have the right idea. It is pretty late.

R: Yeah um… Actually, Will can I ask something first?

W: Oh, yeah?

R: Do you uh… Do you like doctor who?

W: Sounds, familiar! I think so, maybe! Why?

[Rose pulls out a sheet of paper from her pocket, handing it to Will.]

R: Sparrow asked me to give that to you.

W: Oh? What is it?..[Will looks over the paper, his face forming a soft smile.] I am treasuring this. Forever.

R: I'm sure they'll be glad to hear that… I'm probably gonna stay awake a while longer, sleep well.

W: Same goes for you three.

M: Mystery lady's already asleep… And I don't think Peony can sleep.

P: [TTS.] I also do not require. bones.

W: Lucky. Bones are an annoyance.

P: [TTS.] May I try something?

W: Mhm!

[A distorted voice emits from the computer, sounding similar to a 12 year old.]

P: Edgar's phone is recording.

W: Oh, for crying out loud. Thank you Peony.

P: Wel-come. Y- Your.

[The computer seemingly returns to text to speech.]

W: Should I manually turn it off? Or should be wait for it?

P: [TTS.] Turn off.

W: Alrighty. I'll just- grab it-

[Will grabs the phone and manually ends the transcript.]

[Transcript end.]

[klinefelterrible]

I apologise but I had an epiphany and got inspired so I wrote this little thing and I just need to post it here as it seems appropriate

cw: right-wing trump supporters, parents allowing priests and children, police

Kid: Dad let's play that game you loved so much when you were a kid

Dad: Yeah okay, let's find it online....

Dad: Aaaand yeah, I guess that's it.

Kid: press 'play', Dad

Dad: and it's loading... Wait a minute, this game used to be ad-free! "Do you believe in Jesus Christ?" What the fuck?

Kid: better click 'yes', Dad

Dad: why would I do that

Kid: because it will... Yeah, that

Dad: why would the screen turn blank all of the sudden?

Kid: *sigh* put it into flight mode, clean the cookies and reload the page

Dad: okay, it's back on. What, the same question?

Kid: click 'yes'

Dad: another question! 'How many days spent Christ the saviour in the desert?' What am I, his travel journalist? Fuck that! I'm typing '666'

Kid: *sigh* and now the game has only four levels

Dad: four?! It had 1599 levels and 43 bonuses!

Kid: *sigh* yes, but not in the Christian Safe Space, Dad. See the little cross next to the address bar? Either you answer the quick 10 questions about the Bible and another five every two levels, or you won't play it, even if you pay

Dad: does pirate bay still exist?

Kid: yes, but when you type it to the browser...

*ding dong*

Dad: someone's at the door

Kid: it's the priest, with the policeman and that masked guy with the whip

Dad: what the fuck?

Kid: they will make sure you repent for your sins

Dad: what sins

Kid: thinking of stealing

Dad: can't I type nothing?

Kid: yeah you could type some porn and the priests and policemen would kidnap mom and my sister and rape them and record it for you to watch, if you like to watch so much

Dad:

Dad: pinch me

Kid: the best way is to just follow the rules

Dad: no fucking way

Priest, peeking through the window: If you don't open the door in two minutes, we're going in and taking the child away

Kid: he means me

Dad: all I wanted was to play a game

Policeman, opening a window with his baton: YOU VOTED FOR TRUMP, YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN

Dad: but I'm a republican! Why are you doing this to me?

Priest: were you a good boy?

Dad: yes

Kid: no

Priest: dad gets 20 whips and kid 10

Kid: okay

Dad: why?

Priest: you lied to a minister

Dad: oh kill me already

Policeman: can be done, just resist

Priest: but then we're taking the kid and making him a priest and a policeman

Kid: and a faggot

Guy with the whip: *chuckle* yeah this fella has a point

Policeman: we killed all of them fags already

Priest with a face totally blank: yes you did

Dad and the guy with the whip: yeah you did

Kid: can I just recite the bible until you're done?

Priest: you know bible by heart?

Dad: don't you?

Priest: don't whip them, they're christians

Policeman: maybe ask them to prove it

Priest: I gotta believe their word

Dad: I also never got a speeding ticket because I was speeding

Policeman: why do you have four unpaid tickets then

Dad: the speedometer was broken

Priest: five minutes with the kid and I will erase them and get you a raise

Kid: no

Dad: you're kidding, right?

Priest: yeah, hah-hah, that was a joke

Policeman: hah hah

The guy with the whip: so, no flogging today?

Priest: nah, let's get outta here

Policeman: so, about those tickets...

Dad: what tickets

Kid: Dad

Priest: so, I, uh, will take a kid outside and you guys talk about those tickets

Kid: Dad

Dad: I want a raise

Priest: you'll get a raise

Kid: Dad

Guy with a whip: Dad

Dad: We need this money

Priest: yeah, yeah, you need the money alright

Policeman: so about those tickets

Dad: let's hear it when the priest is back, okay?

Policeman: I think I'll go, uh, pray with them

Dad: can I go too?

Guy with the whip: I don't think it's a good idea

Dad: why?

Guy with the whip: it's forbidden

Dad: what

Guy with the whip: watching children pornography

Dad: oh

Kid: Dad!

Dad: keep it real, kiddo!

Guy with the whip: first time, huh?

Dad: yeah, sort of

Guy with the whip: cool cool

Guy with the whip: so anyway what do you do for living?

Dad: I sell Barbie dolls

Guy with the whip: remember the time when you could play a game on that website?

Dad: now you can only play a game if you pay for it and see a gazillion of ads

Guy with the whip: weird, huh

Dad: it's the only way for us to earn more money that we could ever spend

Guy with the whip: yeah yeah

Dad: they're taking their time, huh?

Guy with the whip: it's called an investment

Dad: an investment?

Guy with the whip: yeah, they rape a child now, make sure it becomes scared and obsessed with police and church and eventually becomes one of them

Dad: whoa

Guy with the whip: or a faggot

Dad: we don't want that

Guy with the whip: it depends on the kid

Dad: yeah

Guy with the whip: I believe they're on a finish line now

Dad: how do you know?

Guy with the whip: the kid started praying for this to never happen again

Policeman: your tickets are now nonexistent

Priest: You get a raise

Kid: you're an ass

Dad: don't be vulgar, these men came here to help us

Guy with the whip: let's go. Take care

Dad: see ya

Policeman: vote republican

Priest: see you in church, kid

Dad: do you want a doll?

Kid: i want to die

Dad: don't be funny

Kid: do you want to play a game online?

Dad: no time, I have to go to church earlier today

Kid: okay

Dad: I, uh, have to meet someone there

Kid: who

Dad: Jesus

Kid: what

Dad: also I want to apply for a job there

Kid: what

Dad: I think I'd be a great priest

Kid: what

Dad: this profession is the future

Kid: what

Dad: or flogging

Kid: why don't you say that police are the good guys now

Dad: we're rich, they're on our side now

Kid: what

Dad: we're white, rich and friends with the priest now

Kid: we're not friends

Dad: we're important people now

Kid: I wish you never told me about that game

Dad: what game

Kid:

The concepts of NSFW is being cleared of the Internet under the false pretense of children’s safety when it’s really about the people in power sanitising for advertisers and pushing evangelical narratives AND that not enough is done to keep legitimately harmful content off of spaces that minors have access to are ideas that can coexist

[mostlymalena]

July 24th 2024 11:28am

Just got back from the new house!!!! It's everything to me and more. Needs a good mopping but that will be so fun. Now the real work begins with moving everything and unpacking. I got rid of my mattress and my dad is bringing me an extra he has. And all the books. The fucking amount of goddamn books I have is a hard pill to swallow. I miss Grace but the pain is good punishment in a way, I guess also the throwing up ew.

Also last time I will address the readers in this way (hopefully Jesus Christ) bc this is MY blog and you guys are taking up more space than I think is needed. I know a lot of people reading this blog now are just checking it to see what they can anonymously bash me on next. I do just want to say that even though you really want my life to suck and want bad things to happen for me and for everyone to hate me, that will never be the case. I don't think I have ever wanted that for someone else unless they were a rapist or something along those lines. Just because I don't like someones doesn't mean they never deserve anything good ever, come on now. I think some of you are taking me very personally when I don't matter in your life. I really do not matter to most of you in your day to day and in a lot of cases AT ALL. In five years and tbh even less my snippy little responses to all these messages won't matter to you anymore. You guys have nothing to prove to me! I don't give a fuck either way and I know that's whats most bothersome. I, like you all, are just living my life. Sorry if I rub you the wrong way or whatever complex you are also dealing with but get over it. Also say it to my fucking face. You all know where I go and where I crawl around on weekends - talk to me then since this seems so important to you. You won't. I already know this - hiding behind these pixels is much much easier. Ask me for coffee, hash it out with me, or keep wasting your time tip tapping away on my blog hoping I'll give you whatever it is you are looking for.

Anyways back to MY LIFE... Jo's dad is coming tonight to move a couple big things and then tmmrw is the big ole everyone is helping day. My dad is bringing my old greenhouse I built freshmen year of highschool so thats really exiting for me. Today I feel really relieved but I've thrown up a couple times. I won't say why. I wish I didnt have that work trip next week but hopefully it will be fun!

Thats all for now! Maybe I'll write tonight in the new house hehe!

[thebeeduo]

Ranboo: Do you want me to just reading random- Do you want me to just- I'm gonna just start texting you

Tubbo: Yeah, just start texting me random input on the space

Ranboo: *texts Tubbo*

Tubbo: "Microwave explode"? Yo, thank you. "This is awesome"? Ok, stop texting me now. You didn't even respond to my message I sent you this morning

Ranboo: That's 'cause I was asleep!

Tubbo: Yeah, but like.. *sigh* Maybe I should just go live on instagram

Ranboo: Eughhh!

Tubbo: What? Is that cringe?

Ranboo: Yes

Tubbo: Maybe I should just go live on TikTok

Ranboo: Ahhh! Ahhh!

Tubbo: Is that cringier? Is that- *laughs*

Ranboo: *laughs* You go "Is that cringe" to Instagram and your next one is TikTok

Tubbo: *laughs*

Ranboo: I can make fun of it 'cause that's where I was born

Tubbo: Pffft!

Ranboo: I was born there/on TikTok [?]

Tubbo: Do you ever look at someone and wonder what's going inside their head?

Ranboo: I was- I was born on TikTok [?]

Tubbo: *starts playing the piano* You gotta remember your roots

Tubbo: I want my grand piano back, electric piano is cringe

Ranboo: *coughs* [unintelligible]

Tubbo: He just- He just decides "Oh I'm going to spit my germs around the room"

Ranboo: Yep!

Tubbo: *giggles* Wow, wow. You're a bad- I suppose you're anti-vax as well while we're at it

Ranboo: I am literally- I am literally vaccinated

Tubbo: I'm not allowed to be vaccinated, leave me alone!

Ranboo: That's just a major L for you then

Tubbo: Ahhhh

Ranboo: You're/Keep on getting coughed on!

Tubbo: *starts to play the piano intensely*

Ranboo: That's what happens when you're not vaccinated, people will come up to you and cough

Tubbo: That is a terrible sentence. I despise everything about that sentence

Ranboo: *laughs*

Tubbo: *plays The Owl House theme song, then switches to City of Stars*

Ranboo: Ughhh

Tubbo: So..

Ranboo: Oh my gosh!

Tubbo: What?

Ranboo: I just found more food to order

Tubbo: Nooo! Oh my god, if I get one more Amazon box arrive at my door and it's like a 25 large sized bars of Rice Krispies treats or fucking those shitty cheese squares that you haven't even eaten I'm gonna lose it

Ranboo: It's ding dongs

Tubbo: What the fuck is a ding dong?! That sounds like slang for a dick! You're literally eating dick!

Ranboo: *laughs* I am not! Jesus Christ

Tubbo: Why!

Ranboo: That is so far from what it is

Tubbo: What is it with all this fucking BS American food! Twinkies? Oh yeah, let me just-

Ranboo: I didn't get those actually. I don't know where those came from

Tubbo: Where did the Twinkies come from!?

Ranboo: I'm gonna be entirely honest..

Tubbo: Where the fuck did they come from!?

Ranboo: ..I have no idea where those came from. I did not order- That is not what I ordered

Tubbo: Look, you've got your-you've got your Cheez-It's and your Twinkies and your fucking ding dongs. I'm gonna f- I'm gonna blow some shit up

Ranboo: Sorry, I'll make sure to order a plain cheese pizza the next time

Tubbo: Honestly, that would be so much- I'm actually- I've been really healthy. So far I've had a fruit pop for breakfast

Ranboo: That's good. I had.. *silence*

Tubbo: You haven't had breakfast yet

Ranboo: I haven't- I haven't eaten yet

Tubbo: You haven't eaten yet today, and your first meal of the day will be Taco Bell

Ranboo: No, it won't!

Tubbo: Will it not? Oh

Ranboo: Why do you think- Taco Bell doesn't even deliver here!

Tubbo: *sighs* Fair enough

Ranboo: Why would it- Why- Mkay..

Tubbo: American

Ranboo: I know that the algorithm on Amazon works too well because it was [unintelligible]

Tubbo: *starts playing City of Stars again* Oh no

Tubbo: City of staaars.. *laughs* That song- It kind of annoys me, I'll be honest

Ranboo: I'm looking at- I'm looking at the, um.. I'm looking at your- the Tubbo space hashtag and someone just sent this, like, chart of, like, eye colour but it is, like, the most low res thing that I have ever seen

Tubbo: But I don't know- I think my eyes change colour depending on what I'm wearing, I'll be honest. Is that weird? Because everyone on twitter asks me "Ah yes what is your eye colour" and I'm like "Uhh how the fuck am I supposed to know" and then

Ranboo: My eye colour is [?]

Tubbo: Then I went through a bunch of like- I went through a bunch of, uh.. like, old photos of me and they just change colour depending on how sunny it is, what I'm wearing.. like.. Yeah, so, I don't know

Ranboo: *laughs*

Tubbo: What?

Ranboo: Nothing

Tubbo: What?

Ranboo: *loudly typing* It's time to listen

Tubbo: Time to listen to what?

Ranboo: To my music, I'm just gonna listen to my music

Tubbo: You're not gonna listen to me? Listen to me. Stop dancing. Knock that off. Yo, keep your clothes on! Woah, why are you so- *laughs* sorry

Ranboo: Why do you do this!

Tubbo: 'Cause it's funny, 'cause there's no video

Ranboo: Why do you- why do you do this

Tubbo: and.. and there's no video

Ranboo: What did I- What did I ever do? Nothing

Tubbo: *laughs*

Tubbo: *reads something about chip shops?*

Tubbo: Why do people keep sending me, like, soviet bunnies as well? I don't wanna see bunnies from soviet Russia. What's with the soviet Russia bunnies?

Tubbo: Thoughts on him? Bill Cypher? Pretty fun loving lad- Why did you just mention me and write "awesome"?

Ranboo: I didn't- No, it's a response to a tweet

Tubbo: Oh

Tubbo: *sees Michael fan art* "Oink! Hello father" Oh, I see

Ranboo: Just buff Michael

Tubbo: Buff- *laughs* He went to prison from lack of parent supervision and he came out buff, oh no! Oh no! *laughs*

Ranboo: What do you mean lack of parent supervision? I'm gonna go brush my teeth

Tubbo: Oh ok.. Bye

[Video cuts directly to when Ranboo comes back]

Tubbo: Hello. You seem hollow. Your mother is here? Wait, I shouldn't have read that out. You just texted me that so I didn't read it- Ok, well.. She's here guys!

Ranboo: Ahhh! Why!

Tubbo: She's here!

Ranboo: There's a reason-

Tubbo: She's here! *laughs* Just thought I'd let you know! *laughs* She's raring to go! That's awfully exciting..

[Video cuts again to the next beeduo clip]

Tubbo: Guys, I want to- How does one get the- What is the max people that have been in a single space, like, ever?

Ranboo: I own the number two spot for that!

Tubbo: Do you? How many was it?

Ranboo: Yeah. It was during MCC, it was 36k I think

Tubbo: 36- guys, can we get 38k please?

Ranboo: *fakes being angry* Can't you let me have anything!? *laughs*

Tubbo: Wh- Ok, Mr. 100k subs, Jesus

Ranboo: I don't- I got that once

Tubbo: Twice

Ranboo: It was six times actually..

Tubbo: SIX TIMES!? Oh my god, ok..

Ranboo: Alright... Goodbye space people!

Tubbo: Bye!

Ranboo: Goodbye!

Tubbo: Bye! Leave

Ranboo: I'm leaving the U.K. actually

Tubbo: He's not

Ranboo: *laughs* I'm not.. Wouldn't that be just terrible?

Tubbo: You just said bye and left..

Ranboo: The whole time everyone thought that I was going in, like, October but then I actually just straight up just leave..

Tubbo: You wanna go home?

Ranboo: ..in the middle of August

Tubbo: You can just leave.. get out!

Ranboo: Ok..

Tubbo: Pffft

Ranboo: Bye!

Tubbo: Bye!

[Video cuts again to the next beeduo clip]

Ranboo: I'm back from the U.S.!

Tubbo: Oh, what did you forget?

Ranboo: My- my beloved locket

Tubbo: *mocks American Accent* and the AirPods *laughs*

Ranboo: Yes

Tubbo: Have you told them what you've called your AirPods? The name of them?

Ranboo: Oh yeah, no, it's because basically, right, if you put a slash and then an asterisk at the end of a word it will bleep it out, so, right, me of course being young I thought that was the funniest thing to have that. So whenever Siri said my name she would just go like "You [beep]" so I thought that was funny. So it's like beeping noise, yeah

Tubbo: Oh, I see. So is that why mine do that as well?

Ranboo: I guess so, yeah

Tubbo: Yeah

Ranboo: Yeah.. yeah..

Tubbo: I see.. So..

Ranboo: I'm gonna go now

Tubbo: Bye, again!

Ranboo: Bye! Back to the U.S. I go!

Tubbo: There's no "E" in Tubbo.. Just throwing it out there..

[celestialholz]

Celestial Live-Reacts: STP 2.2, 'Penance'

Well I've already seen at least twenty very interesting gifs of this episode, let's fucking goooo

The red grid's everywhere?

"How 'Yesterday's Enterprise' of you." This man's been on the screen for three seconds and he's already breaking the fourth wall, I fucking adore him 😍

"You're the very board upon which this game is played." Q into roleplaying confirmed? Entities You Don't Want As Your DM include 😂

"Old, yes! How unfair time is... so many wrinkles. So many disappointments." Ah well, good to see that three decades hasn't harmed de Lancie's ability to sell the absolute shit out of a scene, my god. The bitterness is almost tangible 😭

That almost face-touch was him stopping himself because he doesn't want to actually confirm his own words and touch the wrinkles, I'm fucking done

"The chase is cut, Picard; the chase is bleeding, the chase is dying in your arms, and I am but a suture in the wound." Jesus H. Christ John, your acting sir? Honestly, you don't just come along and be a perfect foil to the brilliance that is Patrick Stewart, and this man's always managed it effortlessly ❤❤

This whole scene is so gay, I adore it to tiny pieces 😍😍

Today on 'Celestial Hazards a Guess': this situation is putting Q under considerable mental strain to amend because it's so widespread. I don't actually think it's a physical health issue? I'm going with PTSD. 🤔

... He didn't want to tell him that did he, oh dear

He's saving his fucking life and entire timeline because he loves him and Picard still won't look twice at him, I am dead my dudes 😣😭

We're in an AU fanfic boys, get hype

"You see, I thought to myself, I thought - I really must see Jean-Luc." This whole exchange is ice-cold, but this? Yeah no, this is the only honest thing here

"So I simply sought out the nearest explosion." 😂😂 Valid

"Oh I could tell you, but you're far too clever to listen." Very Tapestry...

"We're never too old to be students of our own behaviour, Jean-Luc..."

... And then he hits him? Actually fucking PHYSICALLY?! Brooo, there is DEFINITELY something wrong with this entity's psyche, as if he would ever 👀

"And I've had enough of your obstinance, your stubbornness, your insistence in changing in all ways but the one that matters!" You, erm... way to show a guy your heart there, good lords above ❤

'Penance'... a punishment laid upon oneself for their transgressions. This man has not done his homework and Mr Q is angry 😶

I'm kinda loving these clicks where nothing much seems to happen until it does - I'd say it was lazy, but I'm thinking it's indicative of the mental state now. No flashiness, all substance - his usual opposite 🤔

Mirrorverse? Are we really mirrorversing right now

"Through a mirror, darkly - and here, the man who holds the glass is darker still." I get that this is Picard's horror story, but the 'man who holds the glass' here is Q in showing him all this, and I love that dichotomy

... That's Gul Dukat? Oh shi -

Martok and Sarek? Mirror!Picard is pantomime levels of evil, damn sir

A girl needs to write a Qcard mirror fic, clearly

"This is the only life you understand"????? What

"But don't worry - I won't let you do this alone." My heart. 😍😍

"Do you wish for me to respond to the designation 'Q', sir?" Look what your nonsense has wrought Picard 😒

This really do be Tapestry 2 my dudes, fuck

This is still a James Bond intro sequence

The roses, though, murder me personally - rose-tinting, Tapestry roses, symbol of general love, and courage...

... Hang on, all of that was just the cold open? Fucking damn son, this series goes hard lmao

Picard is space Hitler now. Okey-doke 🙃

"Colombian roast, black." "... This really is the circle that Dante overlooked." 😂😂

... I mean this timeline's garbage, buuuut Picard also doesn't suddenly have a random romantic interest from nowhere, so...

'Eradication Day'. Oh fuck

Oh hello Seven, you beautiful lady you 😍😍

Is she married?

Where do I get me an electronic candle that realistic

If they had to give Seven a husband, it should have been Robert Beltrane for full and complete levels of sitcom nonsense

General Sisko, god fucking help us all 👀

Love this bloody friendship between Rios and Seven, it's so wholesome ❤

What did you do to my son's girlfriend

The matriarchal love 😍😍

"I want this one kept alive - for questioning!" "I don't know anything!" 😂 Precious child, bless him ❤

Even in the mirrorverse, Agnes is operating on -100% and I feel that spiritually

Spot-73 is an icon. He's giving me absolutely nothing and I love him 😍

... Are they about to finish exterminating the Borg? Oh, very good - I await Picard's split opinion with great interest 👀

Even the Queen thinks Agnes is too quirky, damn 🤣

'The Borg Queen has a kind of trans-temporal awareness' - ahhhhhh, intriguing

That is a spectacular villain HQ

These little interlinks to how they reconnect are wondrous

"Say what now?" Oh Raffi ❤

Ohhh, so she has 'commitment issues'? Well, that explains something in this show, for once

... It's not an AU?

'Mr Alphabet' 😂😂

"This morning, even for Q, he seemed... unstable. Not quite sane." Is that concern I detect Jean-Luc, good lord - a writer might think you care... 👁👄👁

Elnor completely missing sarcasm gives me life

"A friend, a foe, and now..." Now what exactly

Spirk mention, hurrah!

Jeri is on fire here, this Queen chemistry's glorious

Annika 'Seven Shots'? Up your game sweetie, you'd never have survived my university 😂

Noooo Elnor 😣

So many relationship issues in this show, so little build-up

YES ELNOR 😘

"Time travel is not a way to make me feel better, about anything" - me during 95% of Trek time travel storylines

I'm with Rios here, fuck connecting that to my ship

NOOO ELNOR 😭😭

"Killed whilst rescuing a Borg." I, Borg Picard would never

... Wow, guys.

Celestial Rating: 8/10.

Whatever the fuck the space husband's up to, it's hugely compelling - and this new, dystopian alternative future's beautifully realised. Even Agnes didn't irritate me this week. Very promising.

[marchtomydrums]

I’m his mother too.

Alex Cabot x Olivia Benson x Reader

While being in a relationship is wonderful it's not always easy peasy. Especially a relationship between three stubborn women. Alex and Olivia are usually the ones going head to head with you being the clam level-headed medium. However, tonight that was not the case.

You and Olivia were currently in a heated disagreement about Noah. Which led to Alex playing the mediator between the two of you. Though Alex tried to stay neutral she ended up voicing her opinion and Olivia agreed with her. When the two came to the agreement Olivia announced the end of the discussion which pissed you off.

It's not the fact that Alex gave her opinion on the matter she was just as involved in Noah’s life as you and Olivia. Once the three of you made the relationship serious Alex quickly stepped into the role of motherhood which she did flawlessly. No, it was the fact that once the two came to an agreement they completely dismissed you. Neither one is interested in your opinions. Not wanting to escalate the fight you excused yourself to the bedroom.

In search of some clarity and time to cool off, you decide to take a shower. The quiet space gave you time to think. And the more you thought about it the more upset you became. It hurt your feelings more than anything. To feel completely dismissed and unheard. Olivia has never shut you down so quickly. Salty tears mixed with the warm water as you held yourself.

Once you were dressed you walked out of the room to see Alex and Olivia already sitting in bed. Quietly you made your way to the bed crawling in between them. You didn't say anything as you settled under the covers. The silence became too much for Olivia as she turns slightly to face you.

“Are we going to talk about what happened?” she quietly asked. Shrugging your shoulders you ask “what's there to talk about?” “Well for one you walked away from an argument and two we need to make a decision about Noah. “

“I walked away because I had nothing left to say. And you and Alex already came to a decision,” you muttered already getting annoyed. Olivia huffed “ So that's how we handle things now?” “I don't know Liv you tell me!” you shout. “Why are you acting like this?” she yells. “Just leave it alone Olivia.” mumbled.

“No. Talk to me. You're completely shutting down that's not how this works.” “Oh! So you completely dismissing me and siding with Alex is how it works now?!” you asked. Olivia rolls her eyes “So you're mad that I sided with Alex? Jesus Christ y/n.”

Quickly turning your body to face hers you shout “don't do that! Don't you dare sit here and belittle me.” feeling the angry rising in your body. “Guys let's just breathe for a moment okay,” Alex suggests calmly trying to defuse the tension. “ No, if she wants to throw a fit because I agreed with you let her,” Olivia says looking at Alex. “Fuck you, Olivia.” your shout your voice cracked with emotion as you try to escape the bed. Olivia quickly reaches for your arm tugging you back. Your eyes meet and you can see the anger in her eyes melt away when she noticed the tears forming in yours. She quickly removes her hand as if she's touched fire. “I'm sorry. “ she whispered.

The three of you sit in silence for a moment replaying the events in your head of how you managed to get here. Olivia gently cradles your arm in her hands. “ Did I hurt you?” she whispered tears forming in her eyes. “No.” you sighed wiping your tears away. “Talk to me. Please,” she whispered. Sniffling you speak “ You completely dismissed me. Once you decided what was right and Alex agreed that was it. You didn't even try to hear me out.”

“I didn't mean to,” she said. “I’m his mother too.” you cried looking up at Olivia. “ of course you are,” she said. “ He's my son too and my opinion should be taken into consideration as well not thrown to the side because the two of you think you know best.” Olivia sighed “I'm sorry y/n I didn't realize.” “I know,” you said cutting her off. “That’s the problem. You tuned me out the moment someone backed you. I know legally he is your son. But I have been here for three years. I love that little boy with all my heart and for you to not care about what I think hurts me.” “I do care. Y/n I swear I never set out to make you feel invalid. And I'm sorry that I did.” she says tears flowing down her face.

She pulls you in to straddle her lap wiping the wet tears on your face. Once she can speak she cradles your face in her hands. “ Listen to me you're Noah’s mother no matter what it says on paper. You have changed not only his life but mine as well. We love you more than anything. I'm so sorry that I made you feel any different.” she sobs. You lean in hugging her tightly as you both cry. Olivia repeatedly apologizes as she holds you. Pulling back from her embrace you place a gentle kiss on her lips. “ I love you,” you whispered against her lips. “I love you too,” she says kissing you again. “I'm so sorry,” she whispers in between kisses.

Sighing you pull back to look over at Alex who has been silent throughout most of this. You can see the tears in her blue eyes as you make eye contact. You curl your finger motioning her to come closer. A small smile appears on her face as she moved closer to you. Leaning over you place your hand on her cheek pulling her in for a kiss. She moans kissing you back. Pulling back your hand gently strokes her cheek “ I want you to understand that I'm not mad at you. I love how involved you're with Noah. He adores you as much as I do. You're an amazing mom to him and I love how protective you can be. I value every opinion you give in regards to him. I just want to be heard as well and sometimes it's hard with you two.” Alex nods her head as tears flow freely “I know. I'm sorry.” “It’s okay.” You whispered. Alex shakes her head “it’s not. It’s something we need to work on. All three of us. I never want you to feel like you’re not heard.” The two of you smile at each other.

Olivia’s hands grab your hips pulling you closer to her. “ I promise you we will work on it. I’m sorry for making you feel this way and I’m sorry for losing my temper. I’m sorry if I hurt you physically and emotionally speaking.” She says her words breaking as her sobs escape her cheat. Lifting your arm she places gentle kisses as she cries. “I’m okay Liv honest. I may have been upset about the discussion but I know you would never physically hurt me.” She cries harder pulling you in for a hug. Burying her face in your chest she cries harder as you hold her in place repeating how sorry she is over and over again. Once she’s calmed down she pulls back leaning up to kiss you slowly.

You smile into the kiss pulling back to catch your breath. Looking over you see Alex who is silently watching with a small smile. “How about we table this conversation for the morning and get some rest.” She suggested to the two of you. Olivia and you both chuckle nodding your heads in agreement. Crawling off her lap you settle in between the two of them. Both women cuddle into your side as Alex laces her fingers between Olivia. “You know Alex you’re getting better at playing mediator.” You tell her laughing. She chuckles “well normally it’s Olivia and I acting crazy but I figured I’d give you a go at it tonight.” The three of you laugh as you drift off.

[astro-rain]

delicate; b.barnes

chapter one - “to wakanda”

delicate masterlist

word count: 1.5k

synopsis: reader works for what used to be shield as a highly skilled neuropsychologist. after the events in vienna involving the sokovia accords and a bombing, she gets an interesting request from friend and coworker sharon carter...a request involving none other than steve rogers and james barnes.

warnings: brief and indirect mentions of abuse/trauma

pairings: bucky x fem!reader

"I don't know Sharon. Are you sure I'm really the right person for this? I'm not, like, an Avengers level tech. Are you sure they don't want a genius or someone like Stark to do it?"

"Well, Stark is pretty busy right now, and honestly, no one knows psych like you. Not who I've met anyway."

"That is so not true. I'm willing to bet there's tons of other people you guys got somewhere who are ten times what I am."

"Agent (Y/L/N), in case you missed it, SHIELD isn't what it used to be. Sure we have old agents who aren't formally 'SHIELD agents,' anymore, but we don't have the expendability we used to. You're our best bet at the moment."

"Damn. I'm your best bet. I'm sorry," she almost chuckled, but then she thought for a brief moment. "Are you sure this is completely necessary? I mean, I saw the photo on the news. The quality's poor at best, and..."

She leaned in, discretely, and whispered.

"...not to seem like a conspiracy theorist commie or anything, but it kinda seems like people are jumping to conclusions here. Are we even sure it was Barnes who set off the bomb?"

Sharon looked around them, cautiously. No one seemed to be listening, but she scanned the room like her life as she knew it was hanging in the balance. She weighed her words in her head, making sure she picked the right ones, then formulated a response appropriate.

"Regardless of if it was him or not, Barnes still escaped. and before that, Ste-we'd been looking for him for almost two years. This analysis is necessary," Sharon brought her voice down even lower. "At least that's what I keep being told. Of course I'd like there to be more solid proof, but I'm not in charge here. He's gone, and they want to be able to find him and 'sort things out.'"

"'Sort things out,'" (Y/N) repeated, questioning the genuineness of whomever told Sharon that. "Unless they have hard evidence that it was him who set off the bomb in Vienna, shouldn't they leave that to uh...Captain America?"

She wondered how Barnes was able to escape in the first place. She saw the containment module he was in; there's no way he could've gotten out without a fight. ...But maybe it wasn't a fight. Perhaps it was a trigger word induced rage. (Y/N) understood a basic layout of the "Winter Soldier." SHIELD would've kept any information they had classified. However, after the fiasco in Washington, d.c. with Hydra and the whole releasing of all files predicament, she was able, with Sharon's help, to put together a simple outline. With that being said, he couldn't have broken out without going Winter Soldier mode. But doesn't someone need the trigger words for that?

“That's what a reasonable person would think, but once again, I'm not in charge," Sharon shrugged. "Things would probably be going a lot smoother if I was, but you can't have everything."

(Y/N) cracked a smile. Sharon was a friend, and a good one too. They'd known each other since before SHIELD was shattered in 2014. In fact, Sharon helped train her.

The only thing was: Sharon was a higher ranking agent and often withheld certain information from (Y/N). It frustrated her. This was where their personal boundaries got in the way of their professional ones.

She could tell there was something Sharon wasn't telling her, but she wasn't about to compromise either of their positions by pushing for information she wasn't supposed to know. Hell, maybe even Sharon knows something she isn't supposed to. Or maybe she knows something that Everett Ross wouldn't like. What if she was keeping something from him? Defying him? What if she was working with Steve Rogers? Now that would be interesting.

(Y/N) was used to secrets around her all the time. She knew Sharon had her fair share, and trying to figure them out wouldn't really get her anywhere.

"Right. Okay. Well, I'll get on this then. Thanks, Agent Carter," she teased in late response to Sharon's 'Agent (Y/N).’

Sharon offered a quick smile before walking off to attend to other business.

- - -

Pain. That was all it was. In every sense of the word. As she strenously made her way through the densely packed file of one James Buchanan Barnes, pain was all she could see. All she could read. It leaked out of the page and seeped into her skin like poison.

It was horrific what they did to him. She knew he had his memory wiped, had someone pull him out and stick someone else in. But it was more than just that. They took his past, his memories, his thoughts; and they ripped them from his mind, leaving an empty space to mold into their own. It was after this when Hydra, in every way they could, dehumanized him, made him less than. He was striped of his freedom, his control, his choice, his humanity, of everything that made him him. They beat and bruised and broke it out this empty human shell until he was nothing but a shadow of faded morality and consciousness.

But hell, she couldn't look away. She was glued to the aftershock of this horrible wreckage. All the years of studying Psychology and Neuroscience couldn't have possibly prepared her for the absolute horror that was his past, his abuse, his torture. It was heinous. Frankly, she questioned how he was still alive. How he still had the will and the drive to be alive. How do you live after that?

"Fuck," she breathed after eons of silence.

She seemed to lose her sense of time whilst she was immersed in the harrowing nightmare of Hydra's cruelty. 'Cruelty' doesn't even come close to doing it justice. When she came to, her desk looked like a bomb went off. Papers were bursting out of manilla folders, littering the linoleum surface with classified files and secret information. She leaned back in her chair, and gave herself a minute to debrief.

(Y/N) almost felt guilty, like she things she looked at were so vile, so violating that she didn't have the right to see them. Sure, she had read and analyzed all sorts of trauma and psychological profiles. But he was different. Something about James Barnes was different. It tangled her mind the fact that a person could endure all that. She could only imagine the effect that would have on the human brain. The possibilities are endless. Suddenly bombing the UN didn't seem so far fetched.

- - -

"Jesus Christ," (Y/N) murmured, staring at her office floor as Sharon finished explaining to her what happened at the Leipzig Halle Airport.

She sat mostly in silence as she pondered over the information just fed to her. Apparently Tony Stark gathered a 'team' to try and intercept Captain America - sorry - Steve Rogers and his (supposed) fugitive friend. It was chaos.

"What is this? Fuckin' Avengers Fight Night?" she wondered aloud. "How many people did you say were there?"

"Twelve total," Sharon clarified. "Five with Stark and five with Steve."

The psychologist shook her head, dumbfounded. "How did it end?"

"Steve and Barnes got out, but everyone else with them were captured and sent to the Raft."

"The Raft?!" (Y/N) exclaimed. "That's for, like, super humans! Not people like Sam Wilson or Clint Barton!"

"You're telling me."

Sharon seemed in agreement with everything she was saying. However, there was something she couldn't quite place. Like she was holding back. But holding back what?

"So what of Rogers and Barnes?" (Y/N) pushed.

Sharon got up and closed the office door before returning to her seat, leaning in, and lowering her voice. This secretive woman, god damn it.

"Well... That's what I came to talk to you about."

Oh boy. She didn't have a semblance of a single idea of what to expect. Apparently Sharon noticed.

"We're the only ones that know this. They're fine..." the agent trailed off, "They're in Wakanda, but they need a little help."

"Are you leaving?!" (Y/N) all but yelled before quickly slapping a hand over her mouth and uncovering it only to whisper, "Do you and Rogers have a thing or something? Cause' I don't know how else you would know all of this when I'm sure that no one else does considering he's now an enemy of several governments!"

"My relations with Steve Rogers are not the focus here." She could've sworn Sharon flushed. "But we have been in contact; I'm one of the few people he can trust right now, and I don't plan on letting him down anytime soon."

They totally have a thing.

"Noted," said (Y/N) with a nod, "but why are you telling me this? Does he want the profile analysis or something? I don't see how he would need it if he's known Barnes for however long."

"Not exactly..." Sharon fidgeted with her hands. "We need you to go to Wakanda.”

-

[A/N:] this is a repost of chapter 1 because my masterlist is being fucky

[sebstanseabass]

Afterglow (A Bucky Barnes AU fan fiction) - Chapter 4

Previous chapter links:

Afterglow chapters

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

CHAPTER FOUR

The cab ride towards the White Wolf was much faster and louder than you anticipated. The cab driver's blaring music from the radio was so loud it felt like you were inside a rave. You and Bucky had to yell over the music for you to talk about what has been happening in your lives for the past few months. You couldn't summarize everything in a five-minute cab ride. So far, these were just some milestones you both gathered (well, more of his): while Bucky was in different parts of the world (Greece, Macau, Amsterdam, Monaco, Aruba) managing interrelation business and hosting nightly parties and whatnots, you were just in New York tending to drunkards (and that includes Peter sometimes) and taking photos of whatever products that come your way.

At that moment, you saw your life pass by in black and white, while Bucky's in color -- just a parade of rainbows trailing behind him wherever he goes.

Yet he still found the things you did interesting.

You wondered what the word interesting meant to him. Of course, you didn't bother asking him that. Perhaps he just felt sorry and wanted to make you feel good.

The moment you got out of the cab, you guys took a deep breath, thankful that that awful ride was over. The music floated away as the cab sped up in the streets.

"What a dick." Bucky commented, watching the cab race through the streets. Any more speed, the cab would've flown in the air.

"I know." You snorted. "God, that was an awful ride. I felt like I was at a frat party."

"Funny. You don't look like someone who would go to one." He joked.

"I went once." You defended. "With Parker."

Bucky raised his eyebrows at you and stared.  Blue eyes piercing right through you in disbelief. "Okay." You sighed. "I picked his drunk ass up at that party. But I really have been to a party with Parker." You left out that detail of you and Peter making out at that party. That was just between you and Peter and you wouldn't want to include his stepbrother in it. Or perhaps Bucky knew about it. You did just found out they talk to each other almost every night. But as you told Bucky about that party, you received no reaction whatsoever which meant he knew nothing. You felt good about that.

You and Bucky stood in front of the White Wolf, trying to shake out the ringing in your ears. Stupid cab ride. Why you couldn't just walk here was because of Bucky. Apparently, he was still a bit hungover. You wondered what would take him to get fully sober.

You stared at the wolf headstone once more, admiring it for the second time today.

"I commissioned an artist for that." Bucky spoke, poking his finger on his right ear. "Just found him on the subway one day. He was selling some sculptures he's made. Asked him if he could make me one and ta-da!"

"It is beautiful."

"I have others he has made inside." With this, Bucky started to walk towards the inside of his hotel.

The uniformed man greeted you on the steps. You sent him a knowing smile once his eyes landed on yours. He smiled back as you introduced yourselves to each other.

"Is she still in my room?" Bucky asked the uniformed man who you now know goes by the name Leonard.

"Yes, sir." He replied. "She said she'd -- "

"I know what she said." Bucky groaned, remembering what you'd told him earlier. "I'll call you from up there if anything goes wrong, okay Leonard?"

"Yes, sir. I'll be on alert."

You watched the exchange in utter fascination. It was like watching something straight out of an action movie: "I'll be on high alert" "I'll tell you when the coast is clear" "Roger that" "I'll call you when something goes wrong"

The only thing was, this wasn't some action movie though Bucky did have a plan. You just never knew about it until you got in the elevators.

"Here's the plan." He started. "We go in holding hands, I'll introduce you as my girlfriend. Maybe fiancé! When she sees you, tell her you're my fiancé and when she tells you that she slept with me, I'm going to deny and you're going to believe me because as my fiancé, you deeply love me and believe everything I say."

"Ew, it's like I'm a sub."

"Wow, you're a dom?"

"I can be." You winked at him.

"Huh, I honestly thought you're a virgin. You know, that type of 'never been kissed, never been loved' type."

In your head, you started singing the rest of the song. "I'm an angel in the streets and devil in the sheets, Bucky." You joked which he took seriously seeing it on the look on his face. "Anyway, your plan?"

"Right! She'd yell and go nuts until she gives up and then leaves the hotel -- "

"Then we get married and let Peter pay for our honeymoon!" You finished for him with a sarcastic smile on your face.

He smirked. "I like the way you think, Aria. But I don't think Peter's gonna want that."

"What do you mean?"

"W-well, he's not gonna afford it is what I meant."

"You're probably right." You gave him a low chuckle. "You're rich. Pay for our honeymoon." You joked.

"As soon as we get this bitch out of here, yes I will, doll." He scrunched his nose up and winked at you right before the elevator doors opened. Swiftly, Bucky grabbed your hand and intertwined your fingers. "Let's do this."

Hand in hand, you stepped out of the elevator. What stood in front of you was the same woman from earlier this morning. Body still clinging to Bucky's shirt. Faint red lipstick still smeared on some parts outside her lips. Blonde hair still disheveled. If you didn't know any better she was just here in the penthouse, waiting, not moving even a single inch.

You put your hand on Bucky's arm, hiding a faint expression of how big it felt against your skin. "Honey, who is this?"

"I-I don't know!"

The unnamed woman managed to step forward, looking Bucky in the eyes. "What do you mean you don't know? We slept last night!" Then, she looked at you. "Who the hell are you?"

"His fiancé." There was a sly smug tone in your voice. Even on your face.

"Fiancé? He didn't tell me anything about a fucking fiancé!"

"What the hell are you saying?" Bucky yelled. His grip tightened on your hand. "I've never even met you! How did you get in here?"

"We spent the night together, what the hell, Bucky!" She bellowed like a monster, then her voice softened. "I-I told you I love you."

"You're crazy."

"Call security." You said. "Now, Bucky!"

While Bucky grabbed for his phone, the woman pleaded, still trying to convince you that she slept with your fake fiancé. "If he says he doesn't know you," you responded, "then I believe him." Bucky slipped away from you, probably calling Leonard from downstairs. He gave you a knowing look, as if ushering you to unleash some kind of hell on his one-night stand. "You need to go, lady, if you don't want to be banned in every hotel here in New York. Yes, my fiancé can do that. So better get your ass out of here or -- "

"Okay, okay!" She held up her hands, giving up. "I'm out of here! Jesus fucking Christ -- " She mumbled more under her breath as she took of Bucky's clothes, revealing a white tank top underneath. She picked up her heels that were scattered on the living room: one shoe on the couch, the other near a foot of a small table. Picked up some pair of jeans on the carpet before stepping inside the elevator.

"I wish you luck in your fucking marriage." She said, tone filled with rage. Then, she proceeded to flip Bucky one last time before she disappeared behind the elevator doors, eyes boring into Bucky's.

"Okay, she's going down. Tell her to never come here again. Thanks, Lenny." Bucky dropped the phone call and gave you a smile. "And thank you for your performance."

You bowed, like how actors bow after a play ends, and flashed him a smile. "Why, thank you."

"Thanks to you I'm never gonna see that woman again in my life."

You turned your back on him, seeing the place for the first time without a tainted image of the woman. A line of little sculptures near every wall (perhaps the ones he commissioned from that subway artist). Family photos, albums and trophies took up a whole cabinet. You shifted your gaze towards the living room where a nice brown couch sits on top of a beige rug, which faced a huge flat screen television. Two pairs of love seats sat across from each other. A glass table set in the middle. On the back wall was a photograph of Bucky which took the whole space. He wore a neat, well-pressed grey suit, sitting on what seemed like a throne inside a home office, one leg stretched outwards and one leg just resting normally on the floor. He had this head tilt on one side, right hand under his chin, blue eyes looking directly at the camera. On its floor were stacks of magazines, and papers.

Even you couldn't deny how good Bucky looked in the photo but the photograph itself? You knew you could do better than that.

You turned around and found Bucky nowhere. "Bucky?"

He then emerged from what seemed like a kitchen because he was carrying loads of food and trod towards where you were and placed everything on the coffee table. "Yeah?"

"If I wasn't here, what would've you done?"

He shrugged, and opened a yogurt. "Probably stay in your apartment forever."

"Wow," you sat on the couch, watching him devour the food on the table, "seems like you've planned everything out."

"Seems like it, yeah."

"Do you always do this, Bucky?"

"What do you mean?"

"Have sex with girls, then make up a lie to get them out of your life."

"Oh, that was the first time." He replied. "Those three words really freaked me out. I've never heard that come from someone besides my family. Never even told anyone I've loved them, again, except my family."

You nodded in response and looked around the penthouse some more, admiring some paintings, big and small, on the walls. Perhaps some were real, perhaps some were just school ofs. On your right, was a draped curtain covering a whole glass wall that overlooked New York city. Bucky clicked some button somewhere which let the curtains open, letting some of the New York sun inside. From here, one could see the whole view of New York. All its pleasure, glory, grime, and lowliness.

Oh, the things you would give to live in a place like this. If you wanted to take in the beauty of New York, you had to climb up on the fire exit towards the rooftop. And the view from up there wasn't as pretty as this one. All the pretty spots were behind million dollar skyscrapers.

You looked at Bucky once more who leaned against the love seat, then closed his eyes. That same fuzzy image, which you thought you had buried at the back of my mind, resurfaced.

"Bucky?"

He shot straight up. "Yeah?"

"Have we... met each other before?"

A frown formed on his face, his blue eyes meeting yours, his gaze intense; as if he was trying to put a finger on something, on you. But then he gave up, telling you perhaps you'd just seen him somewhere here in New York the last time he was here, bumped into him. Something like that.

You agreed. Maybe that was it.

Again, you pushed that image at the back of your mind, hoping it would never come up while Bucky was still here.

You were about to ask Bucky how long he was planning to stay in New York before partying in every country outside America when your phone rang.

It was Steve. You picked it up immediately. "Hey, Steve. Is everything okay?"

Bucky shot his head towards you, perhaps wondering who this Steve was.

"Hey." He replied. His voice was groggy, like he just woke up. "There's been some misunderstanding with the shipments. They thought I said drop them in the morning. Long story short, the shipments are just outside the pub's door."

"What? They can't do that!"

"They have a lot of deliveries today so they had to. I told them to wait for you but those are impatient bastards. New shipment boys."

You cursed then stood up. "I'm actually not in the apartment right now. I'm somewhere else. Not important. I'm on my way."

"Get there fast, Aria."

"I will, don't worry. Bye, Steve."

Once you got off the phone, you told Bucky the whole situation.

"Let's go then!" He said with much enthusiasm. "Those drinks are no good sitting out there. How else am I going to make you the best drink you'll ever have, darling?"

[worfs-fabulous-hair]

Star trek the original series spoilers !

Also sorry to anyone who doesn't like that I'm pretty much spamming the star trek tag with my posts, I am but a sickly person with to much time on my hands.

Series I'm currently on : TOS

Episodes watched: 01x18 - 01x20

Episode names:

Arena

Tomorrow is Yesterday

Court Martial

Thoughts:

Arena

The entire landing party have the monologue of " why can't I just have one nice thing " when they find out that outpost has been destroyed

Oof the red shirt already died and it's been less than 5 minutes

Jim almost gets blown up by the small bombs that are being thrown at them and the way he falls afterwards is hilarious

Your telling me this man has been severely injured since yesterday afternoon but will conveniently die half an hour of you finding him if you can't get him to sick bay

Oh Jesus Christ what kind of canon bombs do star fleet just keep around that to that shit

This man just yelling "why " at Jim fully expecting a real response , and is not taking " I don't know why do you think I'm asking you questions" as an answer

" I don't think that we should do that James " Spock never calls him James you know it's serious now

The ship their chasing full stops without warning Jim goes " oh yeah boy we got 'em " and then has the audacity to be surprised when the same thing happens to the enterprise

Also I almost go flying when my parents hit the breaks hard in a car I'd assume that with a full stop from warp seven everyone on the ship would go flying from one end of whatever room they're in to the other

More disembodied God like beings fucking with the enterprise

Yo it's the lizard guy , I know this episode now, last time I saw it I was like 10

Slowly and over dramatic punches , kicks and throwing of objects and the other person

The gorn after hearing Jim complement him through the devices they were given :

Kirk's out here pulling some elaborate tom and Jerry shit

So is the lizard boi apparently

Jim just shoved a hand into a pile of dust he found and then stuck it in his mouth another thing that star fleet officers need to stop doing

The ship now has a live feed, the disembodied God like beings also told them " ya boi is losing prepare him a funeral "

The ship crew is commentating on what Jim is doing like people do with shows and horror movies like "turn around bitch "

I think Jim's making a bomb

Space Twink shows up when Jim decides not to kill the gorn

Like -

Space Twink (this was one of the disembodied God like beings)

Now their suddenly across the galaxy from where they were and the episode ends there with them on their way back to the outpost from the beginning

Other episodes under the cut

Tomorrow is Yesterday

1960s air force , if they went back to the past in this episode then I want to know how many times these guys end up going back in time

Yup they got shot into the past

They kidnapped an air force pilot

Every time they find military people they always go see a woman officer and lose their minds , it's so funny to me

" we might have to kill this man , he knows to much "

An all woman planet sounds dope , they also apparently changed the computer to be extremely affectionate and giggle every once and a while

Imagine getting kidnapped from people from the future and when you tell them that them taking you may change the course of history they hit you with a " they didn't make any significant contributions in their life"

The pilot tried to escape , Jim knocked him out

" you did nothing significant but your son who hasn't been born yet on the other hand "

My favorite past time , breaking into government buildings in order to steal documents . (For all legal purposes this is a joke )

" hand me your belts "

This man's fucking face when he gets beamed aboard cause he took one of the communicators , and his stance with the gun is the best

(it won't rotate help )

More fights between Kirk and air force officers , he whole ass threw them in a corner and then frog jumped on them

Jim has been arrested and is being questioned

While pointing the end of a phaser that was just set to kill towards their face " what is this thing what happens if we push these buttons "

They've been betrayed by the man that they kidnapped

He's been rekidnapped

We're going straight into the sun baby

The air force officers have been unkidnapped and don't remember anything

They are back to their proper time

Court Martial

We're supposed to believe that this woman who looks like she's in her 30s is a teenage girl that is the daughter of the singular crew member to die during the last mission

Also her costume looks cool but just not on her if that makes sense

So they think that Kirk wanted this guy to purposely die ???

I know that captain Kirk is being accused of purposeful negligence resulting in death because of possible grudges but he's being really theatric in everything he's saying

You show up to court and it's your ex girlfriend trying to prove your guilty

Spock master of sass

I like how everyone in star fleet has serial numbers

Surveillance footage

"see this man that was not looking down at the buttons pressed the button that was right next to the button he wanted to press , see he did it on purpose !"

The guy is going to be alive and this is all going to be some big plot huh ?

Spock plays chess with the computer and realizes that there is a bug in the computer

I was right ! This guy faked his own death because he hated Jim that much

Yeah he looks as creepy as I thought he would

Imagine holding a grudge against someone for over 10 years cause someone pointed out that you made a mistake that could have killed everyone around you

Kirk once again wrestling someone with torn clothing

"I messed up the engine you're all going to die " "your daughter is on board the ship " " oh shit let's fix this bitch "

Everyone pretending not to be staring at Jim having a moment with his ex girlfriend

[authenticmiya]

Alone - Johnny Lawrence x Reader

Summary - Based on the song Alone by Heart, reader doesn’t know how to cope with Johnny putting all of his time into the dojo, and not into his marriage.

Words - 1.7k

Warnings - angst

The sparkles on your wedding ring could just about be seen as the moon lit up the apartment. Letting out a shaky yet frustrated sigh, the clock was still ticking, except this time, two hours had gone by. Johnny wasn't back, when was he ever back?

As it neared 1am, the debate of going to bed was playing on your mind, but there was no way you were going to sleep without talking to your husband, if he was that anymore.

"Come on Johnny, pick up." You sighed, trying not only his telephone at work but the stupid cell phone that you should've known he couldn't answer.

But not being able to use technology wasn't an excuse. It wasn't hard to keep a promise, in fact it wasn't hard to just not make the promise in the beginning. A knock on the door pulled you straight from your wandering thoughts. Looking through the peep-hole, you realised it was Miguel.

"Seriously kid." You groaned before opening the door. You loved him like a son, you really did, but you were not in the mood to socialise with anyone.

"Hi Mrs Lawrence, Sensei told me to tell you-" He began but you cut him off.

"Don't worry Miguel, this is the fourth time you've had to tell me that he's gotta do all of the paperwork, I get it. Thank-you." The sadness in your tone made Miguel feel bad.

"He's in the Dojo Mrs Lawrence, it's not my place to say but instead of waiting around for him to come home, why don't you just go down there?" Miguel suggested.

"I appreciate that kid, but I don't wanna start a fight." You admitted to the teenage boy, and you couldn't quite believe it because he hardly knew love himself.

"Fight for this love, you're badass." He chuckled before heading back over to his place. 1am and Miguel had only just left the dojo, so who knows when Johnny will be home. After the brief conversation, the time just went by extremely slow, but that didn't stop you from staying awake.

"I’m not having another night end with me being alone." You muttered, and it was as if god answered your prayers, because the keys jangled in the front door, and in stepped Johnny.

"Jesus Christ why are you sat in the dark babe?" Johnny laughed as he flipped the switch to the lights on.

"Till the moment I saw you them years ago, I had always got by on my own." You told him, twiddling your fingers as you sat on the couch. Johnny looked at you strangely, as he grabbed a beer from the refrigerator.

"I never really cared until I met you Johnny. Nobody cared for me, and I never cared for anybody. I spent years upon years, dreaming I'd marry a guy like you, and I got him in the end." There was no way you could cry in front of him.

"Listen if this is about me and the dojo, I really wanna spare that fight." Johnny sighed as he stood a distance away from you.

"Sometimes I reminisce on the good times we had. Before Larusso, before the alcohol, before this goddamn dojo Johnny." Now the words were just falling from your mouth.

"Don't mention that name under this roof again." He suddenly snapped, and now you had hit the nerve.

"How do I get you alone Johnny? Because I lost you the moment that asshole came back into your life. Don't try and sugarcoat it, please save me the bullshit. You're all I ever wanted and all I've ever had. Ever since Cobra Kai reopened, I don't see you. I wake up, you're not there, I go to sleep and you're still not there." It took a lot of courage to talk to him without getting mad, for nearly every argument that was made, was because of your attitude.

"You will always have me Y/N, but I have a business to run, I'm protecting these kids." Johnny swigged on his drink, also trying not to give you a nasty reaction.

"They're relying on me, they have nothing but karate to help them with their confidence, you would know if you were there." He suddenly came out with when you didn't reply.

"I'm relying on you too Johnny, you know your wife?" You began.

"And here she goes with the whole emotional card. Whatever." He rolled his eyes and turned towards the bedroom.

"'No I refuse to let you do this to me again. We need to talk about this." You grabbed his bicep.

"Every-time we try and talk, a certain somebody turns it into something that could've been avoided." Johnny said sarcastically.

"Yeah and you shrug it off like it's nothing." You pinched the bridge of your nose.

"That's bullshit and you know it Y/N, I don't need to be constantly reminded of shit that you get insecure about." Oh he had finally cracked into his frustrated and angry mode.

"So me missing you is being insecure? Sorry for committing a crime jackass." You crossed your arms over your chest.

"Here she is, little miss childish, once again." Johnny slammed the door to your shared bedroom, now leaving you to decide whether to follow after him.

"Oh for fuck sake." You grumbled, opening the door. He was getting some clothes ready for what you presumed was for after he had showered.

"We have neighbours, you don't need to slam the door so loud." You finally spoke up again.

"I didn't know you could slam a door quietly." Johnny didn't look at you.

"What's going on with you? Please just talk to me Johnny." You felt like begging for a life time. You just wanted your husband back, even if it was just the extra kiss in the morning. But he wasn't talking to you.

"This is getting ridiculous Y/N." He groaned.

"No what's getting ridiculous is that you gradually built a dojo, but gradually pushed me to the side and I'm sorry if you think I'm childish, and that I start a fight with you for no reason. I don't mean to fight with you, we're meant to fight together for crying out loud." Johnny was listening to you but he wasn't responding.

"I never asked for this, I don't deserve this." Johnny stood up, grabbing a towel from the drawers.

"And you think I do? When was the last time you actually checked if I was okay?" Johnny didn't know what to say, he knew he hadn't been the best of husbands.

"Miguel stopped by today, actually ever since the dojo opened he's come by quiet frequently, telling me the usual that you're doing paperwork." You began.

"Also told me I was a badass who needed to fight for this love, but it takes two to fight, and right now, it's pretty clear that I'm the only one even fending for this marriage." A single tear dropped down your cheek but you refused to let him see it.

"I'll leave you to shower." You left the bedroom and decided that maybe tonight you should just keep your space from him. Deciding that sitting around doing nothing wasn't an option, you just decided to take the trash out. It wasn't really a normal thing to do in the earliest of hours in the morning, but it was something.

Johnny felt his heart stop when he heard the front door shut, something telling him that you were going to leave for the night and just not come back to him.

"Shit." He scrambled off the bed, completely throwing the thought of a shower out of his head.

"Y/N? Babe?" He called out, but he didn't know you were only just outside.

"Shit!" He shouted, grabbing his keys, ready to drive all lengths of the country just to bring you back. As he opened the front door, you were just heading back in.

"Please, just don't leave. We can talk this through, you can't leave me Y/N, I need you. God dammit I'm an asshole, I deserved everything you said to me just please come inside and we can talk it out, no arguing, no nothing." Johnny had his hands firmly on your shoulders.

"Why the hell would I leave you? I took the trash out." You told him, he glanced around back to the trash-can noticing how it was now empty, and had a huge sigh of relief.

"And besides don't you think I'd have been gone a long time ago if an argument was the reason we ever broke up?" You questioned him.

"Yeah I suppose you're right, you put up with a lot of shit huh?" Johnny took in your appearance for the first time, in such a long time.

The way your hair was just in a messy bun, the fact you were in one of his shirts and a pair of sweats. The Y/N he had fallen in love with, had been waiting for the affection she deserved and he simply hadn't realised how long she had gone without it.

"I'm sorry." He began.

"This isn't gonna happen again. You're not just gonna apologise and I'll melt into you. Johnny you've gotta mean it, you've seriously gotta mean it." You pleaded.

"Shall we order-" You cut him off.

"It's literally 2am and all I want right now, is to relax. We're both hotheaded and we need to be able to talk about things without getting riled up with each-other." You could tell he was listening to you very intently and without hesitation he lifted you up in a bridal fashioned way.

"This isn't what I expected but I'm not complaining." You chuckled as he shut the door with his foot. The two of you settled down on the bed together. 

"I love you." You told him, the argument slowly floating out of the window.

"I don't think you have any idea how much I love you." He sighed, pressing a firm, passionate kiss to your lips.

"We'll be okay won't we Y/N?" Johnny sighed, draping an arm across your waist.

"We'll be okay Johnny."

[zet-sway]

So this is out of nowhere but I can't think of anywhere else to dump my reevaluating-my-relationship-with-wow thoughts so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

A few days ago I learned that when my father-in-law passed away, my brother-in-law was kicked out of his guild for not logging on for three days. Not benched, not suspended - kicked out.

Last night I learned that a friend was denied an opportunity to trial for a mythic raid team because they asked him to trial during a time he had a critical and long-awaited health appointment.

This all happened within the last two years and it's not the first time I've heard of situations like this. I've been playing wow and raiding for a long time and on some level I get it - you need a stable roster. You want people who don't flake out. People who show up when they say they're going to.

But like any other thing in life, people are human beings and Shit Happens. My brother-in-law wasn't fired from his fucking job when he took time off to grieve his father. My friend wasn't denied anything at home because he needed to attend a surgical consultation. But in both instances, players of world of warcraft took it upon themselves to enact harsh social penalties because ???? they were inconvenienced for a fucking microscopic amount of time ????

Players like this have always existed, but I was always able to find a space where people were grounded. Recently it seems to be getting more difficult to find these spaces as reasonable players tap the fuck out of this nonsense. Terrible attitudes have permeated more of the game and I just fucking can't anymore. I am disgusted at the thought of sharing space with people who have their head so far up their ass they think their online group experience is more important than an individual getting life-changing surgical intervention or grieving a loved one.

To say nothing of the vast prevalence of microaggressions taking place in the game daily. The guy who screamed at me because I dared to offer a suggestion in a M+ run. The people who bully new players out of LFR for having the audacity to use an in-game feature without understanding the full scope of the encounters that lie beyond. The person who suggested I was an idiot because I asked for the location of a rare spawn in general chat.

Holy shit I just had to get that off my chest jesus christ

[ducky-moo]

It’s Nothing

A scream ripped through S.T.A.R Labs, sending everyone into a flurry. Weapon in hand and suit donned, Cisco and Barry rushed into the former's workshop, where the sound had come from, only to find you sitting bolt upright in a chair, alone, but panicked.

        "Are you okay? What happened? Did someone hurt you?" They asked a million questions, but you just shook your head. Confusion crossed Barry's face, while realization crossed Cisco's. "Nightmare?" He asked, tilting his head to the side to really look at you. You let out a weak laugh and nodded. You had been having increasingly worse nightmares recently, and it was near impossible to determine whether or not they were real. You had been having them ever since your last encounter with the Twisted Shifter, which was what Cisco had decided to call the shapeshifting meta-human that was after you. It had been a week and a half now, and even though you were finally almost fully recovered from your concussion, you had still been staying at Cisco's every night. The two of you weren't dating, but...no, yeah, you were basically dating. He had been taking such good care of you over your recovery, and he stayed up with you when the nightmares hit, and he was the best binge partner you'd ever had. The two of you had already watched all 8 of the Harry Potter movies at least 5 times.

        "Did you watch Chamber of Secrets without me again? You know what that does to you." Cisco chided as he lowered his weapon. This was the first time you had had a nightmare at work, and you hadn't really told anybody else about them yet. You only told Cisco about them because, well, he'd been sleeping right next to you when you had them. You made him promise not to tell anybody, and although he desperately wanted to help you solve them, he agreed. So he put up a flimsy excuse for the nightmare, and you went along with it. Barry seemed to buy it, as he laughed and shook his head at the two of you before leaving the room.

        As soon as he was out of earshot, Cisco closed the door and sat down in his chair and rolled over to you, taking your hands in his and resting them on your knees. "Are you okay? That one seemed pretty bad, Y/n." Concern was evident on his face as he leaned towards you, searching your eyes for some kind of hidden answer.

        "I'm fine, Cisco. Just another stupid nightmare," you mumbled as you turned your head to look away from him. You pulled your hands away from him as well, and he looked at you with even more concern. You tried to wheel away to go do something else, but he grabbed your chair firmly by the arms and held you there in front of them.

        "They're not stupid, and you're not fine, Y/n" he reached out and turned your face towards him with his thumb and forefinger, "I wish you would let me help you," he all but pleaded. You shoved his hand away and stood up.

        "You don't even know what they're about." You shot back, then turned to leave the room.

        "Because you won't tell me!" Cisco exclaimed in frustration as he rose from his chair. He stepped in front of you and placed his hands on your shoulders. You immediately shoved his hands away, afraid he would vibe you and find out what your dreams were really about. Hurt spread across his face as you took a step back from him. "Why won't you just let me help you?" His voice was strained, and you could tell he wanted to reach out for you again, but was trying to respect your space.

        "Its not something that can be helped Cisco. It's my grave and I'm going to lie in it. Alone." By this point you were near tears as your eyes darted about the man's face, trying desperately to make him understand. Your whole life you had had to fend and look out for yourself. It wasn't easy, but it was what you knew.

        "You can't handle this alone, Y/n. For Christ's sake, I've been sitting up with you half the night for the past week, watching Harry Potter on repeat because you're too scared to go to sleep. There's only so much Michael Gambon Dumbledore I can take."

        "You said you liked watching Harry Potter with me." You were trying to redirect the conversation, and you knew Cisco was easily distracted by movies.

        "I do. I do like watching Harry Potter with you. But the reason we've been watching them is keeping us up half the night, and frankly, I haven't felt like I've been getting any sleep because I'm up the other half of the night worrying about you!"

        "Please," you scoffed, "you snore like a freaking freight train as soon as you think I'm asleep." Cisco made a face that was a mix of surprise and offended.

        "Okay, one, hurtful, and two, maybe I have my own dreams! And in my dreams, I'm worrying about you!" He defended himself. You had to admit to yourself, that made your heart melt a little. 

        "Why do you worry about me so much, Cisco? Of all the things in all the worlds to care about, why me." Your voice broke as you sunk down into your chair, and you buried your head in your hands. You heard him inhale deeply, and he crouched down in front of you, taking your hands in his and looking into your eyes.

        "Because you're worth caring about, Y/n." His voice was quiet and soft, but there was such earnest in it that you couldn't help but burst into tears. "Baby, please," his voice cracked with emotion, "let me help you." He reached up and cupped your cheeks in his hands, holding your face so that you had no choice but to look at him. His thumbs brushed under your eyes as he wiped your tears away. You shook your head, watching his heart break as you denied him once again.

        "I can't." You whispered. He heaved a sigh and leaned his forehead against yours, closing his eyes. You sat in silence for a moment before Caitlin's voice rang out from the cortex. 

        "Cisco!!! We need you!!" Cisco muttered profanities under his breath and shook his head.

        "You know where to find me." He sighed as he stood. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head, and jogged back out into the Cortex.

        Hours later, Cisco was sitting at his desk in the Cortex, going over data from all the previous fights with Twisted Shifter. "Caitlin, you said Y/n's vitals-" He was interrupted by a short, weak scream coming from his workshop. His head fell, and he sighed as everyone turned to look towards the sound.

        "Was that-"

        "Yep."

        "Are you going to-"

        "Yep." Cisco rose from his chair and made his way back to the workshop. At this point, Cisco was pissed at you for not letting anyone help. He was preparing his angry speech when a second scream rocked through the building, causing him to jump. "Jesus fuck," he muttered as he jogged the rest of the way to the workshop. "Y/n?" He looked around, confused and possibly slightly panicked as he couldn't find you immediately. Finally, his eyes landed on you, curled up in the back corner of the room. "Y/n? Hey, hey hey hey, you're okay." He rushed over and dropped to the ground next to you, pulling you into his arms. After a moment, he felt you struggling against his secure grip, and rather than fighting with you, he simply let you go.

                "I'm fine." You snapped, wrapping your arms around yourself as you turned away from Cisco. He let out a loud groan as he schlumped back against the wall.

        "Fine my ass, Y/n, I just found you curled up in a goddamn corner!" His voice rose in his frustration and he threw his hands in the air. 

        "I don't-"

        "This is the second time today you've had these nightmares. You're being totally stupid! You need help!" Cisco was all but yelling now as he stood up. You started to walk away, but he grabbed you by the shoulder. You tore yourself away and whirled around to face him.

        "Don't vibe me, Cisco!" You exploded at him, your voice growing louder as well.

        "I am not vi-"

        "Hey, woah woah woah, what's going on in here?" Joe asked as he walked in, followed closely by Barry and Iris. Cisco drew his mouth into a tight line and looked at you expectantly. He was gonna do what he promised, no matter how stupid he thought it was. You looked away from all of them sheepishly, rubbing your arm, but saying nothing. There was an awkward silence for a moment before Barry spoke up.

        "Are you guys...Okay?" More silence. Cisco threw his hands into the air, finally giving up.

        "Yeah, everything's fine. With me at least. I can't say the same for her though," he threw a hand in your direction, and you closed your eyes, sucking in a deep breath.

        "Cisco-"

        "What? I didn't say anything. I left the fun part for you."

        "Y/n, what is he talking about?" Iris asked, taking a step further into the room than the boys would dare.

        "I-I- nothing. It's nothing. I'm fine." You stuttered out, unsure of how to get out of this.

        "Oh for Pete's- It. Is NOT! NOTHING!"

        "Woah, Cisco, calm down dude." Barry walked over to his friend, taking him by the shoulders and moving him back a bit.

        "Okay someone better tell me what the hell is going on right now or we're gonna have some issues." Joe stated, pointing to the two of you.

        "It's nothing, I-" Before Cisco had the chance to explode again, Iris held up her finger to him.

        "Okay, don't say it's nothing, because clearly it isn't. I'm pretty sure you're going to give Cisco a stroke if you say that one more time." Her voice was firm, but her touch was gentle as she rested her hand on your arm. "What's going on?"

        "It's noth-" you winced as you caught yourself, and you looked frantically around the room as if searching for a way out of this, "I- I just- I-" You stumbled over your words as you tried to find the right thing to say. Preferably something that would cause minimum concern, or at least de-escalate the situation at hand.

        "Take a breath, Y/n." Joe's soothing deep voice cut through the chaos in your head, and you closed your eyes, inhaling deeply.

        "I- I've just been having really bad dreams, lately." Blanket terms. As simple as you could hope to put it.

        "You're fighting...over...bad dreams?" Barry sounded confused, and you could tell by his voice that he looked it to.

        "Yeah, I'm not following." Joe chimed in. You squeezed your eyes tight, not wanting to explain any further.

        "How recently did they start?" Iris asked, rubbing your arm as she pulled you closer to her, away from Cisco's wide-eyed, hopeful form.

        "Not too long ago- um- just a couple weeks." You were tiptoeing around the actual issue at hand, hoping they would let it slide.

        "A couple weeks? Like- wait, a couple weeks like these started happening after you two fought the Twisted Shifter?" Joe asked incredulously as he looked back towards the door and back at you.

        You bit your lip and looked down, nodding as you wrapped your arms tighter around yourself.

        "Wait, is he still in your head?" Barry was suddenly coming to understand the situation at hand.

        "Whoomp, there it is," you heard Cisco behind you, and you squeezed your eyes tight again. Barry looked between the two of you.

        "Y/n, why didn't you tell us this?" You tried not to flinch at the disappointment and concern in Barry's voice as he questioned you.

        "They're honestly not that bad, I didn't think it was that big a deal-"

        "Oh no no ma'am! You are not going to pull that crap anymore." Cisco shook his finger at you as he approached you, then turned to the others. "She hasn't slept a full night in a week and a half. She's been forcing herself to stay awake so that she can avoid them, and there's only so much Michael Gambon Dumbledore a man can take, people!"

        "What are the dreams about?" Barry asked. Immediately, your lips drew into a tight line. This was not something you were prepared to talk about. Not with Barry, not with Cisco, hell, not even with yourself. "Y/n, if it's something that can help us beat Twisted Shifter-"

        "It's not." You interrupted him, shaking your head.

        "Are you sure? There's nothing he's making you see that we can use?"

        "No. It's just...He's just messing with my memories. That's all."

        "That's all?"

        "Yes, Barry, that's all. I swear. There's nothing in my head that's useful for this mission right now."

        "Hey, she won't even tell me what they're about, so don't feel bad man." Cisco reassured Barry, clapping him on the shoulder.

        "Okay...well, we should probably have Caitlin and Cisco run a few tests on you anyway, see if they can figure out a way to block him out."

        "Everything's gonna be okay, Y/n." Iris reassured you as she squeezed your arm, then left to go back to the cortex. Joe and Barry left promptly, leaving you and Cisco alone again. Silently, you sunk into your chair, schlumping down as if the past 10 minutes had wiped everything out of you. And mentally, of course, they had. 

        "Y/n-"

        "Don't, Cisco." You held one hand up to stop him and rested your forehead in the palm of the other. "I can't right now. I just can't"

        "Okay." His voice was tiny, and quiet as he nodded in response. "You know where to find me."

        At home later that night, you were walking around Cisco's living room clad in yet another one of his t-shirts. You had brought your own clothes from home, of course, but you simply liked wearing Cisco's better. There was something about the familiarity of each shirt that made you feel safer, almost.

        "Y/n, can we please talk." Cisco was pleading with you as he moved to stand directly in your path. You stopped, and looked him in the eye, your expression blank. You had hardly said anything the rest of the day- just answers to questions Caitlin and Cisco asked while they were running their tests. You had just been left completely drained after the event of the day. "I'm sorry, okay? Actually, you know what? No I'm not. You needed to tell people what's been going on, and you did, and, surprise surprise, everyone's working to help you!" Silence. "Okay, look," his form deflated as he looked at you, feeling defeated, "I know you're upset with me. I get it. I'm sorry about that part, but not the rest. You're finally getting help. Soon we can have all of this figured out, and you can go home and-"

        "You are my home." The words left your mouth before you had the chance to process them, and your hand flew to your face almost immediately. Cisco blinked, taken completely off-guard, and it took him a second to process what you had said. Once it sunk in, however, Cisco's expression softened significantly. His chest filled with warmth as he reached out to you. His hands stopped, however, before they made contact with you, as he remembered all the times you had pushed him away throughout the day. He inhaled deeply and closed his eyes.

        "Can I? I'm not trying to vibe you, I swear. ...I just want to hold you." You could hear the yearning in his voice as he opened his eyes to reveal a pleading look. You took a step back and saw his heart break a little. After a moment of consideration, you nodded slowly. Letting out a long sigh, he reached out and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you snugly into his chest. It was more of a relief for the man than he thought it would be, and he felt a weight being lifted from his shoulders as he finally got to hold you again. He wanted nothing more than to keep you safe and happy, and every time you pushed his affection away, he felt a little piece of him die a little.

        You stood there for what felt to you like ages, just tucked away safely into Cisco's arms as he held you. You were almost falling asleep to the sound of his heartbeat when he finally spoke up.

        "Be mine. Like, for real. I want you to be mine. I want to do all the stupid cheesy couple things with you and I want to tell people you're my girl and I want to be able to hold you and kiss you and smack your ass in public," despite how your heart was racing, you couldn't help but giggle a little, "and I want you to know that you'll always have a home here." You could hear the smile in Cisco's voice as he spoke, and you couldn't keep a matching one from growing on yours as you simply nodded, burying your face in his chest. You could hear his heart skip a beat, and couldn't help but giggle as you realized you had caused it to do that. Suddenly, Cisco had scooped you up into his arms, and was carrying you into the bedroom. Gently, he tossed you onto the bed, causing you to laugh as he climbed on top of you. "There's that beautiful smile." A soft hum came from your throat as he bent his head down and planted a kiss on your neck. There was a quiet gasp that came from him, and he suddenly went still.

        "Cisco?" You reached up and grabbed his biceps, then ran one hand up into his hair. "What's wrong?" He suddenly lifted his head up and looked at you, blinking slowly.

        "Nothing. Everything's fine." He smiled and bent down to kiss your cheek, then got up and walked to the kitchen. You sat up on his bed, crossing your legs as you looked out the door behind him in confusion.

        "Just forgot I left the oven on." He remarked as he entered the room once again. You simply nodded and watched as he did a lap around the room to throw laundry into the pile, then returned to you. "Hey." There was a wide smile on Cisco's lips as he looked at you, then down to your lips, then back again. The simple gesture made your face flush, and you smiled back at him goofily.

        "Hi." The word came out as a giggle, which only made Cisco's smile wider as he reached out and ran his hand through your hair. His thumb ran along your bottom hairline and you froze, your smile faltering.

        "I never noticed this scar before." He commented as he pushed your hair away from the long-healed wound. 

        "Huh. Funny." You replied, your mouth going dry as you backed up a bit.

        "What's it from?" You were quiet for a moment, trying to come up with a convincing story when you heard a flash of Cisco's thoughts. Your eyes immediately widened, and you looked at him with panic and anger.

        "You vibed me!" His eyes widened at the exclamation and he shook his head.

        "N-no, I didn't, I-"

        "And you're lying to me about it? God, Cisco." You groaned, burying your head in your hands. 

        "Look, I'm sorry, alright? I didn't mean to. I really didn't, I swear. How did you know?" You looked up at him and were silent for a minute. He raised his eyebrows at you. "You were in my head?"

        "It was an accident-"

        "So was vibing you! Sometimes it just happens, alright? Let's just move on." You nodded as he climbed onto the bed next to you, and you were both silent for a few minutes. Your hand drifted up to the scar at the base of your skull.

        "Cis...what...what did you see?" Your voice was quiet as you stared straight ahead. He didn't respond, so you turned to look at him. He was leaning back against the headboard of the bed, with a look on his face that told you he wasn't sure if he should tell you. "What was it?" You asked again. He sighed and sat up a bit more, running his hand over his face.

        "I saw...that." He gestured to where your hand was still pressed to the back of your neck. Another brief moment of silence.

        "All of it?"

        "Y/n, we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

        "So you saw all of it." He sighed heavily.

        "Yes, I did. I saw all of it...Is that what you've been having nightmares about?" You bit your lip as you felt your eyes well up. Hot tears started rolling down your cheeks before you had the chance to control them, and Cisco reached out to grab you around the waist and pull you back to him. "Baby..." His voice sounded sad, which only made you cry even more. He smoothed your hair down and kissed your head, simply waiting for you to calm down. "You're okay, I promise. We don't have to talk about it tonight. Let's wait until tomorrow morning when you've gotten some sleep, alright. You need to wind down." He rested one hand on your back as he reached out and grabbed the tv remote, turning on the second Harry Potter movie. "Scoot." He urged you to move forward, then slipped behind you and pulled you back between his legs. His hands began to work their way across your shoulders and back, carefully rubbing out every knot. You let your head fall forward, and he pushed your hair over your shoulder to place a kiss on the back of your neck. You smiled a little bit and closed your tired eyes.

        "Thanks, Cis."

[artificialqueens]

Gimme Love, 7/9 (Miz Cracker/Blair St Clair) - Grinder

AN: Sorry in advance, but this chapter is kinda short. But we do get more conflict, more drama. 3 more chapters! Who's pumped? No one.

TW FOR THIS CHAPTER: Brief blood mentions.

2020

Remember how I said I was on a journey towards happiness? In the beautiful world of Brianna Caldwell, life said, "Nah."

The next day, it was apparent that things were only getting worse.

"Ed Sheeran is still on board," Joey stated matter-of-factly. He crossed his arms, the safety visor making a rustling sound as he did so.

He was joined by Nina, Alex, and Michael. A few of the lab team were at their desks, trying to ignore the current confrontation, including Jujubee.

She looked as if she wasn't paying attention to the ordeal, but I knew Jujubee like the back of my hand, and she was listening. I couldn't help but want her to speak up and help me out here. But she hadn't spoken to me since the day before.

"Yeah, he is." I put my hands on my hips, standing at the front of the lab, while Joey and his friends sat there and looked up at me.

"Why, though?" Joey continued to question.

"God, we already had this discussion," I spoke quietly, looking to the side for some sort of distraction.

"Yeah, but you said you'd figure something out." Nina input.

"Yeah, you did." Alex joined in. I glanced at Jujubee in the hopes she'd join the conversation. Her eyes remained on the chemical she was working with.

"Why did you choose him in the first place? Why not…" Michael paused, deciding to join the argument, "Bill Nye...or someone who actually has an interest in Space and Science."

"Yeah, for real. Like, you do realise that in years to come, when kids read about 'Neil Armstrong - the first man on the moon, they're gonna flip the page and see 'Ed Sheeran, confirmed the first man to enter another dimension.'" Alex added.

"Like, how do you even explain Ed Sheeran as a choice?" Nina held a hand out in questioning.

I finally found a crack and slipped back into the conversation, "Because your project manager is a disaster when she's drunk and makes stupid choices without even thinking."

"We know, Brie. You were drunk." Joey rolled his eyes like he was tired of hearing the same story.

"Maybe you should stop drinking." Alex squinted his eyes.

"Yeah, we don't wanna go there, but maybe this is a problem," Michael added to the point.

My eyes were becoming wider with every word they were saying. This was absolutely ridiculous. Again, I was hoping Jujubee would argue back, but she remained silent.

Nina, however, was the one to interject, "Jesus, guys. You're taking it a bit too far." She stood up and gathered her lab coat, "Look, we all do dumb shit when we're drunk. She's not a mess, OK?"

Joey laughed. I held back from calling him out for the time that I caught him hiding in the closet playing Candy Crush for an hour.

"Well, even so, she should take this into consideration," Alex suggested.

"And do what?" I unfolded my arms and held them out by my side, "call him and say 'JK, Ed. It was just a joke, Ed.'"

"Girl, you're the one who got us into this mess. You figure it out." Alex raised his voice. How very fair of him. I was the one who had to deal with this problem, yet they were the only ones who seemed to care.

"Mess is a bit of a harsh term." Nina pointed out.

"Exactly, there is no mess here. Juju and I have already figured this out," my gaze shifted towards her again, hoping the mention of her name would cause a reaction. Nothing, "So I'd appreciate it if I could stop getting all this flack. I don't need flack from you," I pointed at Joey, "I don't need flack from you," next, at Alex, "or you," then Michael, and I moved my finger in Nina's direction, "or...Jesus Christ, you're having a nose bleed."

Nina's hand flew straight up to her nose, pulling away and examining the red liquid. "Oh, my Lord!"

She tried wiping it. But more blood poured out like a faucet that had been slowly turned on.

"Can you just...get out of here and get that cleaned up?" It sounded bitchy. But I was panicking. I never did well with blood. Therefore I looked away and hid my face.

"Thanks for helping, boss." Joey practically snarled, handing Nina a bunch of tissues. Like hungry wolves following the scent of the blood, the 3 men followed her out of the room, Joey still scorning at me as he left.

It was just me and the other scientists left in the room.

I turned and moved to one of the counters, picking up screws and bolts as if I was actually interested in them. But I couldn't ignore the presence of my best friend.

Hearing shuffling, I turned. She was standing up and gathering her things.

"Juju." I approached her.

She only quickened the packing up process.

Reaching her bench, she was already turned in the direction of the door, "Juju, are you just gonna ignore me all day?"

Finally, she looked at me, adjusting her bag strap, "There's nothing to say."

"Oh really? Well, you can decide to drop me as a friend, but you're still working for me, so we need to communicate."

"OK," Jujubee shrugged, "Well, what do you need to discuss with me that's work-related?"

She got me there. Licking my lips, I breathed out with a quick sigh. "OK, look, last night, we didn't end on a good note. I'm not saying I was wrong, and neither were you. Can you just please set that aside and talk to me?"

She squinted her eyes. "So, I'm supposed to just let the problem keep building?"

"Juju!" I briefly raised my voice, a few of the other scientists glanced in our direction. Jujubee looked uneasy now. So I lowered my tone again. "OK. I'm just gonna say it. I fucked up. I fucking...wrote her a creepy message, and I don't know what to do, and I have no one to talk to about it."

She let out a sarcastic laugh, "You're still looking to use me as your therapist. You learned nothing from what I said, Brianna."

I was silent, incapable of speaking anything else.

She looked away to the ground, "This is taking up my lunchtime."

And with that, she moved to the door, the sound of her heels like a clock ticking down.

"Juju, what can I do?" I held my hands out by my sides. "How am I going to make you satisfied?"

With a hand opening the door, she was frozen for a moment. I thought she would have walked on and ignored me. But she looked over her shoulder and said, "When you realise she's not the one who cares about you."

She left the room, pulling the door closed. The noise caused me to flinch.

I turned around her words in my head.

Two of the scientists were whispering, one glancing at me. I felt my chest become tight. "Hey. This isn't a social gathering. Get back to work."

Despite their astonishment, they moved away from each other anyway.

I instantly felt like a bitch. Technically yeah, it was my job to keep everyone working. But I rarely raised my voice.

I left the room, seeking peace and quiet.

Sitting in my chair, I held my hands in my head, staring at the redwood desk. Moments like these should have felt like a luxury, just sitting there, relaxing. But my mind was racing with too many thoughts.

I had no idea what I could do to make amends with Jujubee. But I could try and sort this Ed Sheeran problem.

Loading up my emails, I opened the thread with Ed Sheeran (which was actually only 3 messages and most likely with his manager).

I hit reply and started typing.

'Listen, Ed. There's been an issue…'

No.

'Dear Mr Ed Sheeran, we regret to inform you…'

'Hello, Ed. It's Brianna from…'

'Ed, big fan of the work, but…'

I squeezed my eyes shut, already feeling exhausted, like each press of the backspace button represented a loss of a brain cell.

For all the achievements I had earned throughout the years, for all the accomplishments, why the fuck was this so damn hard?

The telephone rang, causing me to jolt. A sigh left my lips as I tried to breathe. Pressing the speaker, I said, "Jackie, what's up?"

Jackie, my receptionist, spoke, "Hey, honey. Your Mom's on line 2."

My hand clenched around my pen, already feeling that familiar sense of dread.

"OK, thank you," I spoke quieter.

I hesitated for a moment before finally clicking line 2.

"Hi, Mom," I uttered.

"Hi, baby." She said quietly. "How are you?"

"Fine." I lied. "Nothing really new here. How about you?"

"All good…" she sighed, then paused briefly, "Actually no. Things aren't good. I...lost my job. The usual, they found someone better. And I've been trying so hard to find a job."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Yeah, and on top of that," she sighs again, "Brie, honey, there is no easy way to say this; Piggie's sick."

My breath caught in my throat, but I tried to remain calm. "What's wrong with him?"

"They said it's Lyme disease, Brianna. I...I don't know what's going to happen." Her voice cracked.

"Look, don't worry. I'm gonna send you money right now. It should cover the bills. He'll be - -"

"No, I didn't call you to ask for money." She said quickly, "I was just wondering...I know you're busy and everything…"

Fuck. My eyes squeezed together, hand tightening around the phone.

"But...I would love to see you. It's been nearly a year now." Her tone softened.

And immediately, I wanted to say no. Considering the circumstances, a visit would fuck with my head. Seeing Piggie, my emotional support through teenagehood would crush me.

"You there, baby?" She asked.

"Yeah," I whispered.

"I just...I don't want to be alone. What if the medical treatment fails? I'm gonna have no one, Brianna. I don't want that." She pauses again, and my chest tightens, tears filling my eyes. "Brie, baby, please come."

I can hear the pain in her voice. But I can't help but feel that sense of fear, the anxiety.

"Don't leave me alone to deal with this, please. I'm at my lowest. And I don't know if I could do it all by - -"

I hit 'end call'.

I put the phone back and rested my head in my hands.

I knew this was my fault - our strained relationship. I could only see that now, how emotionally unstable I was. That sounds like a joke, right? I just didn't expect it to be this bad.

Nothing was getting better.

-_-_-_-_-_-

2004

I threw my bag in the back seat before climbing in the front. My hair was soaked from the rain. I literally just ran from the school to Mom's car, not even outside for that long, yet so much rain.

I said nothing, only rubbed my hands together to keep warm.

"So, the schools flooded?" Mom asked.

"Yeah."

"The whole school?" She looked past me and to the building, an eyebrow raised. "It doesn't look that bad."

"It's just the shop classes and cafeteria, to be honest." I put my hands between my thighs to make the warming up process happen quicker.

"That's a bit unnecessary to send you all home."

"Yeah, well, I'm not complaining."

Mom fired up the engine, and we were set for home. There was a moment of silence that fell among us. Nothing out of the ordinary.

But when she turned the radio down, I knew we were in for a discussion.

"That's not the only thing the school called me about today." She started.

"Oh?" I looked out the window. I don't know why but I assumed they had finally exposed me for smoking around the back of the building. But it was doubtful as I had stopped during the Summer.

"They're concerned about you, Brie." And so was she, now that I could hear it in her tone. "Your grades have only gotten better the slightest amount."

"Well, I can't just go from a C to an A in a matter of days." I still looked out the window. "And besides, I'm staying behind every other day for extra studying."

"Are you sure you're not just flaking and hanging out with Jujubee instead?" There it was, the accusatory tone.

I looked at her now. "No? And if it makes you feel better, you can call her Mom and ask. How's that sound?" I scoffed, "God, I don't need this. Not like I'm dealing with enough at school anyway."

"Well," she was silent for a moment as if daring herself to speak again, "Not that I'd know, I mean, you don't really open up to me about school."

"Yeah, because there's nothing you can do about it." Was I wrong? What could she do? Barge into the school with a gramophone and yell, 'Stop picking on my daughter!'

"About what?"

I rolled my eyes, "Doesn't matter. I don't wanna talk about it."

I could practically feel the way she held back from rolling her eyes.

"Well, the only other thing I can think of is that you're too focused on all this space stuff." She sounded more irked now. "You need to focus on your future, not all this make-believe crazy conspiracy theory shit."

"Oh, that crazy conspiracy theory shit that my Grandpa enjoyed?" My tone was slowly raising.

"I didn't mean it like that. I'm saying your Grandpa didn't make a living sitting around and fantasising about all of this stuff. He knew the difference between having a career and having a dream."

"Well, God, not like my interest hasn't got a thing to do with my future prospects, Mom. No. Who would have thought." The sarcasm was thick in my voice.

"Whatever it is you're striving towards, it sounds more like a dream to me. You need a more stable plan." Mom flicked the indicator quite aggressively.

"Oh my God," I laughed, "That's hilarious. You have no idea what I'm striving towards. You can't even tell me what it is."

"Does it matter??"

"Just shows how much you give a shit about me, right, Mom?"

We pulled up to a red light to Mom's delight because she pulled the handbrake.

"How dare you." She seethed, "How dare you speak to me like that. I have done nothing but give a shit about you all these years. I have been there for you, every nervous breakdown, every time you wanted to cry but wouldn't, every time you needed your Mother the most. I was the best Mother I could be because I know that deep down you were hurting." Her voice cracks. "I know that you struggled for so long, what with your parents and all, but I've done all I can to give you what they couldn't. I held you. I loved you. But now, what I'm getting back is this...attitude. All I did, Brie, was express my concern, and you immediately went on the defence." She paused again before lowering her tone, "And I know you want to hold on to this space stuff, so you don't lose someone else. And I know you're in pain. But is this actually what Grandpa would have wanted??"

We held each other's gaze for another moment before the light finally turned red. She started driving again.

But I wasn't done. "Really? All of that and for what, Mom? God, you have no idea what Grandpa wanted for me. If only you knew what he asked of me when he was lying in his deathbed."

"And what was that?" She raised a brow.

"It doesn't matter." I crossed my arms and was back to looking out the window.

"Of course." She stated.

"Just...stop, please. My grades will be better. Now, we're done having this conversation."

I could feel her seething, the heat of her anger radiating through the cramped vehicle. But she said no more.

Not even for the rest of the night.

[astro-rain]

delicate; b.barnes

chapter one - “to wakanda”

delicate masterlist

word count: 1,564

summary: reader works for what used to be shield as a highly skilled neuropsychologist. after the events in vienna involving the sokovia accords and a bombing, she gets an interesting request from friend and coworker sharon carter...a request involving none other than steve rogers and james barnes.

[A/N:] not my photo

warnings: brief & indirect mentions of abuse

pairings: bucky barnes x fem!reader

"I don't know Sharon. Are you sure I'm really the right person for this? I'm not, like, an Avengers level tech. Are you sure they don't want a genius or someone like Stark to do it?"

"Well, Stark is pretty busy right now, and honestly, no one knows psych like you. Not who I've met anyway."

"That is so not true. I'm willing to bet there's tons of other people you guys got somewhere who are ten times what I am."

"Agent (Y/L/N), in case you missed it, SHIELD isn't what it used to be. Sure we have old agents who aren't formally 'SHIELD agents,' anymore, but we don't have the expendability we used to. You're our best bet at the moment."

"Damn. I'm your best bet. I'm sorry," she almost chuckled, but then she thought for a brief moment. "Are you sure this is completely necessary? I mean, I saw the photo on the news. The quality's poor at best, and..."

She leaned in, discretely, and whispered.

"...not to seem like a conspiracy theorist commie or anything, but it kinda seems like people are jumping to conclusions here. Are we even sure it was Barnes who set off the bomb?"

Sharon looked around them, cautiously. No one seemed to be listening, but she scanned the room like her life as she knew it was hanging in the balance. She weighed her words in her head, making sure she picked the right ones, then formulated a response appropriate.

"Regardless of if it was him or not, Barnes still escaped. and before that, Ste-we'd been looking for him for almost two years. This analysis is necessary," Sharon brought her voice down even lower. "At least that's what I keep being told. Of course I'd like there to be more solid proof, but I'm not in charge here. He's gone, and they want to be able to find him and 'sort things out.'"

"'Sort things out,'" (Y/N) repeated, questioning the genuineness of whomever told Sharon that. "Unless they have hard evidence that it was him who set off the bomb in Vienna, shouldn't they leave that to uh...Captain America?"

She wondered how Barnes was able to escape in the first place. She saw the containment module he was in; there's no way he could've gotten out without a fight. ...But maybe it wasn't a fight. Perhaps it was a trigger word induced rage. (Y/N) understood a basic layout of the "Winter Soldier." SHIELD would've kept any information they had classified. However, after the fiasco in Washington, d.c. with Hydra and the whole releasing of all files predicament, she was able, with Sharon's help, to put together a simple outline. With that being said, he couldn't have broken out without going Winter Soldier mode. But doesn't someone need the trigger words for that?

“That's what a reasonable person would think, but once again, I'm not in charge," Sharon shrugged. "Things would probably be going a lot smoother if I was, but you can't have everything."

(Y/N) cracked a smile. Sharon was a friend, and a good one too. They'd known each other since before SHIELD was shattered in 2014. In fact, Sharon helped train her.

The only thing was: Sharon was a higher ranking agent and often withheld certain information from (Y/N). It frustrated her. This was where their personal boundaries got in the way of their professional ones.

She could tell there was something Sharon wasn't telling her, but she wasn't about to compromise either of their positions by pushing for information she wasn't supposed to know. Hell, maybe even Sharon knows something she isn't supposed to. Or maybe she knows something that Everett Ross wouldn't like. What if she was keeping something from him? Defying him? What if she was working with Steve Rogers? Now that would be interesting.

(Y/N) was used to secrets around her all the time. She knew Sharon had her fair share, and trying to figure them out wouldn't really get her anywhere.

"Right. Okay. Well, I'll get on this then. Thanks, Agent Carter," she teased in late response to Sharon's 'Agent (Y/N).’

Sharon offered a quick smile before walking off to attend to other business.

- - -

Pain. That was all it was. In every sense of the word. As she strenously made her way through the densely packed file of one James Buchanan Barnes, pain was all she could see. All she could read. It leaked out of the page and seeped into her skin like poison.

It was horrific what they did to him. She knew he had his memory wiped, had someone pull him out and stick someone else in. But it was more than just that. They took his past, his memories, his thoughts; and they ripped them from his mind, leaving an empty space to mold into their own. It was after this when Hydra, in every way they could, dehumanized him, made him less than. He was striped of his freedom, his control, his choice, his humanity, of everything that made him him. They beat and bruised and broke it out this empty human shell until he was nothing but a shadow of faded morality and consciousness.

But hell, she couldn't look away. She was glued to the aftershock of this horrible wreckage. All the years of studying Psychology and Neuroscience couldn't have possibly prepared her for the absolute horror that was his past, his abuse, his torture. It was heinous. Frankly, she questioned how he was still alive. How he still had the will and the drive to be alive. How do you live after that?

"Fuck," she breathed after eons of silence.

She seemed to lose her sense of time whilst she was immersed in the harrowing nightmare of Hydra's cruelty. 'Cruelty' doesn't even come close to doing it justice. When she came to, her desk looked like a bomb went off. Papers were bursting out of manilla folders, littering the linoleum surface with classified files and secret information. She leaned back in her chair, and gave herself a minute to debrief.

(Y/N) almost felt guilty, like she things she looked at were so vile, so violating that she didn't have the right to see them. Sure, she had read and analyzed all sorts of trauma and psychological profiles. But he was different. Something about James Barnes was different. It tangled her mind the fact that a person could endure all that. She could only imagine the effect that would have on the human brain. The possibilities are endless. Suddenly bombing the UN didn't seem so far fetched.

- - -

"Jesus Christ," (Y/N) murmured, staring at her office floor as Sharon finished explaining to her what happened at the Leipzig Halle Airport.

She sat mostly in silence as she pondered over the information just fed to her. Apparently Tony Stark gathered a 'team' to try and intercept Captain America - sorry - Steve Rogers and his (supposed) fugitive friend. It was chaos.

"What is this? Fuckin' Avengers Fight Night?" she wondered aloud. "How many people did you say were there?"

"Twelve total," Sharon clarified. "Five with Stark and five with Steve."

The psychologist shook her head, dumbfounded. "How did it end?"

"Steve and Barnes got out, but everyone else with them were captured and sent to the Raft."

"The Raft?!" (Y/N) exclaimed. "That's for, like, super humans! Not people like Sam Wilson or Clint Barton!"

"You're telling me."

Sharon seemed in agreement with everything she was saying. However, there was something she couldn't quite place. Like she was holding back. But holding back what?

"So what of Rogers and Barnes?" (Y/N) pushed.

Sharon got up and closed the office door before returning to her seat, leaning in, and lowering her voice. This secretive woman, god damn it.

"Well... That's what I came to talk to you about."

Oh boy. She didn't have a semblance of a single idea of what to expect. Apparently Sharon noticed.

"We're the only ones that know this. They're fine..." the agent trailed off, "They're in Wakanda, but they need a little help."

"Are you leaving?!" (Y/N) all but yelled before quickly slapping a hand over her mouth and uncovering it only to whisper, "Do you and Rogers have a thing or something? Cause' I don't know how else you would know all of this when I'm sure that no one else does considering he's now an enemy of several governments!"

"My relations with Steve Rogers are not the focus here." She could've sworn Sharon flushed. "But we have been in contact; I'm one of the few people he can trust right now, and I don't plan on letting him down anytime soon."

They totally have a thing.

"Noted," said (Y/N) with a nod, "but why are you telling me this? Does he want the profile analysis or something? I don't see how he would need it if he's known Barnes for however long."

"Not exactly..." Sharon fidgeted with her hands. "We need you to go to Wakanda.”