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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years ago

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Survey #474

“nothing flashed before my eyes / no pretty angels, no bright lights / all i saw was the devil’s soul, & it looked a hell a lot like my own”

Who are you most nervous about introducing potential significant others to? My dad. He can be a challenge. He says whatever comes to his mind the moment he thinks it, and it's not always nice. What is the most exciting thing about your life right now? My relationship, honestly. It feels like the one thing that's going right, but I'm concerned if I don't take care of the things that aren't going so well, that they will creep into my relationship and start breaking it down, ex. not having a job. What was the most important non-academic thing you learned in high school? To just keep pushing and not give up on life, and that it is full of phases, be them good, bad, or bland. Have you ever had a job that deeply affected your personal life? How so and do you still work there? No. Do you have a “one who got away”? I don't feel like that anymore. If you were in a supoerhero movie, would you be the hero or the villain? Because I like to help people, I'd like to be the hero, BUT villains are waaaay cooler. If you found a mouse in your house, would you be frightened? Frightened, no. I LOVE mice. I'd of course be startled and concerned about it getting into food, but I'd just calmly find a way to get it outside. Have you ever tried to perform magic tricks? I used to LOVE getting those little magic kits when the Scholastic fair came around! I had I want to say three and was pretty good at a lot of tricks in them. Can you do more with a yo-yo than just "go up and down"? No. What is one form of technology that you wouldn't be able to live without? The Internet for sure. Did you get an allowance, growing up? Why or why not? No. An allowance for three daughters was something my parents couldn't afford. Would you rather go to a water park or an amusement park? Why? An amusement park. They're more exciting to me, and somehow water parks seem dirtier with all the little kids and just alksdjlfa;wjke What is one instrument you wouldn't mind learning how to play? The violin. What's the longest amount of time you've had to wait in line for something? Probably something at Disney World as a kid, idr. What is something that you would like to learn more about? I ALWAYS want to learn more and more about meerkats. What is something that one of your family member collects? Mom collects owl stuff. Have you ever moved to a new school before? If so, how did it feel? No, except obviously when transferring from certain age ranges, like elementary to middle school. Have you ever legitimately forgotten to do homework? Yes, at least once in middle school. I felt SO awful and had to go outside of the classroom to do it while they were reviewing the work. Do you enjoy autumn leaves or spring flowers more? Why? I really, really like both. Each are just very pretty in their own right. Depending on where you live, why might a day of school get canceled? Hurricanes or like the mere chance of a centimeter of snow. At least once, we've even had such a severe heat advisory that school was called off. If you could meet any fictional character from a book, who would it be? Can dragons be real? 'Cuz then I wanna meet Clay from Wings of Fire if we could talk, lol. He's so wise and I'm sure would have great knowledge to share about looking at my life from new perspectives. What are some common places that people tour when they come to your city? Um, people do NOT tour this city. It's trash. What's one food that you did not enjoy as a child, but do as an adult? I'm not sure. How would having no electricity affect your daily routine? Everything would change, given I'm always on the computer. Would you rather have a mermaid tail, a fairy's wings or a unicorn's horn? Fairy wings, for sure. What is an animal that you'd like to have as a pet but it's not allowed? I wish SO badly that opossums were domesticated animals, alsdkjfkaljwe. I say enough that I do want to rescue/foster one, though, but I would obviously need a license for that. I would absolutely never just snag one from the wild. What are some things that you do to make the world a better place? We recycle here, don't dare to litter, and I always try to be a decent person that spreads love and hope to other people. Has the last person you had sex with ever had sex with someone besides you? Yes. What’s your favorite store at your mall? rue21, I suppose. We have a small mall. Have you ever done a workout DVD? Oh my actual god, this is a THROWBACK. When we were really little, my sister had a BARBIE workout DVD that we watched sometimes. Who usually takes out the trash in your family? Usually Mom, but sometimes me. What song are you currently obsessed with? Absolutely "Bath Salts" by Highly Suspect, ahhhhh- When you go fishing, do you make someone else get the fish off the hook? When I used to go fishing, my dad would always unhook the fish. Do you take any prescription meds? A lot. What happens if you don’t take them? I very rarely forget to take my medicine, but when I do, I experience anxiety and my tremors get worse. Who was the last person you dreamt about? I don't remember. Do you prefer your tea sweetened or unsweetened? I hate tea in any way. How often do you honk your horn? I don't really drive, so. I'd be very hesitant to though because I wouldn't wanna piss someone off. Do you have any children? If so, names and ages? That's a hard pass from me, bro. Have your parents ever witnessed you doing something inappropriate? What? No. Did you get babysat a lot as a kid? I don't remember how frequently, but we did have a babysitter. Both my parents had jobs. If you were the principal of a school, what would you do differently? Actually pay fucking attention to bullying and do shit about it. Are you doing anything fun tomorrow? "Fun?" Don't know her. What is something you'd like to receive as a housewarming gift? I dunno. How old were you when you first experienced the effects of puberty? I don't remember. What is your least favorite holiday, and why? St. Patrick's Day because I worry about getting pinched, lol. Pinching even very lightly is surprisingly painful for me. What were some outdoor games you played as a child? Hide-and-seek was my favorite, then my sisters and I made games for on the trampoline and in the pool, etc. Did you accompany your parents on "Take Your Child to Work" Day? I never remember doing that, no. Are cemeteries peaceful to you, or do they freak you out? They're humbling, more than anything. A reminder of how equal we are and that we all end up the same. It's a nudge to cherish life while you have it. Which ancient civilization would you be interested in learning more about? My favorite is Ancient Egyptian. Do you have better long-term memory or short-term memory? Long-term. My short-term memory is absolutely frighteningly horrid. What was the last situation that made you cry? Describe. I was very frustrated with just life in general and how horribly I'm failing at it. Which forest animal would you be most afraid to encounter? A bear, probably. Do you believe in anything supernatural? (ie: spirits, etc) Yeah, like said spirits. Has anyone close to you ever gone to war? No. Have you ever experienced altitude sickness? No. Is there anything, any event, you wish you could remember more clearly? I don't know right now. Have you ever rubbed anyone’s feet? EW you couldn't pay me to. If you had to get advice from someone of the opposite sex, who would you go to? My boyfriend. What was the last new food/drink that you tried? I recently tried jalapeno-stuffed grilled chicken, and a couple days ago I tried this orange/strawberry V8 my mom bought. It was noooot good, which I figured it wouldn't be. That's not a good mix. Have you had a good day today or was yesterday better? Today was fucking awful, and yesterday wasn't exactly peachy either. Have you ever played Sudoku? Yeah, I enjoy it well enough. Do you ever take surveys for money? No; I once signed up for a site like that though because my mom used to do that, but I literally qualified for no surveys with how inexperienced I was and still am with grown-up stuff. Do you like Barbie or Bratz better? I don't have an opinion, and I didn't really as a kid, either. Do you prefer purple or green grapes? I go back and forth, but either way, it has to be a crisp grape or it's just gross. Who was the last person that made you laugh? I was watching a John Wolfe video. Where does your best friend live? Illinois. Who did you last confide in? Girt. Does your car have an alarm? Mom's doesn't. Where was your mom born? New York. What can always make you feel better no matter what? If I'm being completely realistic, nothing. Not every single tactic is fail-proof, especially these days. What is something you’ll never eat again? Why? Crab legs came to mind first. They are SO mushy and just gross. What is currently happening that is scaring you? My life, bro. Have you ever found a stranger’s note somewhere? If so, what did it say? I mean maybe at some point accidentally? I don't remember a specific occurrence.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''bath salts'' by highly suspect

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projectnoah · 4 years ago

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Burmese Pythons in the Everglades: How an Invasive Species is Hurting Native Wildlife

As of February 2013, scientists estimate anywhere between 30,000 and 150,000 Burmese Pythons exist in South Florida. As you may have suspected, Burmese Pythons are not native to Florida. They are native to Southeast Asia and south China.

The problem? The pythons are completely decimating populations of native wildlife. A study conducted by Michael Dorcas, a herpetologist at Davidson College in North Carolina in 2011 documented “severe declines” in mammal sightings. The 2003 to 2011 surveys compare mammal sightings to data from surveys conducted in 1996 and 1997 – before the python was breeding in the wild.

As the population of pythons has spiraled upwards in the last decade, mammal observations have declined by the following percentages:

87.5% bobcat decline

94.1% white-tailed deer decline

98.9% opossum decline

99.3% raccoon decline

100% rabbit decline

100% fox decline

Not a single rabbit or fox sighting was found. Furthermore, the impact of the invasive species on rare animals is unknown. It’s unclear whether or not the python is consuming the Florida panther. It’s quite possible, as these snakes eat leopards in their native habitat of Southeast Asia.

As per above, the pythons aren’t picky eaters. They will often eat any animal they can find. Even large numbers of birds are being consumed. Over 25% of the pythons found in the Everglades contain bird remains.

The above-listed mammals simply have no instinctive defense or fear from a large carnivorous snake. As a result, they fall easy prey. Before the Burmese Python in early 2000, the last large snake to live in this region was 16 million years ago, when a boa-like snake became extinct.

The study does report that certain animals, like turtles, may thrive as a result of this ecological distortion. Raccoons routinely prey upon turtle eggs. With severe declines in raccoon population, turtles have the potential to grow at a higher rate. Of course, this argument assumes the python doesn’t eventually turn on the turtle as food sources dwindle.

In addition to the above report, the National Academy of Sciences published a separate report suggesting bird and coyote populations are also threatened due to the invasive species.

“Survival of the Fittest” Argument Rebuffed

Some counter that survival-of-the-fittest dictates the pythons should spread, as they are simply more powerful predators than their prey. They argue there’s nothing fundamentally wrong with this scenario as it simply represents natural selection playing course. But this argument makes little sense as it runs counter to how ecosystems function.

Burmese pythons in their native habitat in Southeast Asia do not cause a 90+% decline in the population of their prey. And neither do large carnivorous snakes like anacondas in the Amazon. Populations of predator and prey evolve together over time and live in balance. Prey develop natural instinctive defenses from these predators. The animals of the Everglades have no natural instinctive defense from these large snakes.

It’s worth noting a further element of tragic irony in this story. While the pythons are spreading like rabbits throughout south Florida, they are endangered in their native habitat of Southeast Asia. Back home, they are hunted for their skins and captured alive for sale abroad as pets.

How did they get here?

Between 1996 and 2006, roughly 99,000 pythons were imported into the United States as pets.

It’s believed the pythons began breeding in the wild as a result of two primary causes: irresponsible pet owners releasing them and the animals escaping their loosely-kept cages as a result of hurricane or stormy weather.

As for the former, these snakes grow to an average of 12 feet. Pet owners likely grew uncomfortable with the health risk and financial burden of securing and feeding a 12-foot snake in their home. After not wanting to deal with these challenges, many released them into the wild.

As for the latter, in 1992, Florida’s Hurricane Andrew was responsible for destroying a python breeding facility. In the late 90’s and early 2000’s, other less severe storms likely enabled snakes in loosely secured cages to escape during stormy weather.

Here’s a brief timeline of how the population began to spiral out of control:

2000: A breeding population was confirmed in the Everglades.

2001-2005: 201 pythons observed or killed in the Everglades.

2006-2007: 418 pythons seen or killed in the Everglades.

2009: 5,000 – 180,000 estimated by South Florida Water Management District

It’s difficult to know exact population numbers over the last decade as these animals are difficult to spot. The above numbers are based on sightings and killings of pythons. The bottom line is that from early 2000 to the present, the population of breeding pythons in the Everglades spiraled to well over 30,000.

More on the Python’s Biology

The severity of this proliferation is better understood after learning about certain aspects of this snake’s biology.

For starters, the Burmese python routinely lives 25 years or more. Astonishingly, the record life span for a python in captivity is 47 years!

Females typically lay one clutch of eggs per year, usually in the spring. Each clutch contains somewhere between 12 and 36 eggs. But much larger numbers have been recorded. This August 15 report from the New York Times included finding a 17-foot python with 87 eggs.

These key aspects of the python’s reproductive behavior, combined with the prey’s lack of natural defenses, have led to a perfect storm of ecological collapse for the land-dwelling mammals.

Some Good News: Pythons Can’t Survive the Winter

I was thrilled to learn some apparent good news in this otherwise awful story. The consensus among herpetologists appears that the python cannot survive through a winter beyond south Florida.

An initial USGS study by Reed Rodda in 2008 claimed the pythons could expand as far north as the southern third of the United States. But that study appears to be an outlier.

Consensus among snake biologists is that Burmese pythons are unable to withstand a winter beyond south Florida. An experimental closure in South Carolina kept a number of pythons over winter. All of the animals died, as they could not properly acclimate to the change in climate. When it gets cold, these pythons simply die. The study did note, however, that the pythons could survive extended periods of temperatures lower than southern Florida.

Python's inability to survive winter, however, may very well be the only good news with regards to their ability to spread throughout the region.

Research in an early 2012 issue of the Journal of Experimental Marine Biology and Ecology report concluded that pythons are able to tolerate salt water and can therefore travel through marine and estuarine environments like bays or inlets. The open seas are also a possibility. Prior to the report, it was hoped that the pythons would die in saltwater and would therefore be primarily limited to the freshwater of the Everglades.

The snakes can therefore travel along the southeastern coastline and would only be limited by climate restrictions. Worse still, many climate biologists and snake herpetologists claim this climatic range is quite suitable habitat and very similar to that of Southeast Asia.

Burmese Pythons and the American Alligator

One animal in the Everglades appears able to pose a threat to an adult python. In a battle between the Burmese Python and an American Alligator, who wins? The answer: it depends. Both animals have been found to prey on one another. A large alligator can kill and eat a medium-sized python. And the opposite holds true for a large python.

To be fair, newly hatched juvenile pythons are vulnerable to predation by birds and other animals; but that doesn’t say much as the young of any species are always vulnerable.

Back to the alligator-python battle. How is it decided? The battle is often decided by two main factors: the respective size of each animal and the caliber of the first strike. If the alligator secures a swift bite at the python’s head, the snake’s neck will snap and it dies instantly. The python, on the other hand, aims to wrap itself around the alligator, as it would any other prey. After securing a full wrap, it suffocates the animal and then eats it whole. For a successful alligator hunt, size is key for the snake. The larger the python, the greater it’s chance of successfully wrapping itself around the alligator. Pythons are not venomous and must wrap around their prey to secure a kill. Naturally, small and medium-sized alligators are more vulnerable.

Some sensational pictures have showed up online of battles between the python and the alligator.

There’s even a grotesque story of a python’s stomach exploding after attempting to consume an alligator too large to digest. Its body rejected the meal outright and the snake died a gruesome death. For any remaining survival-of-the-fittest arguers out there - no, ecosystems are not supposed to function in which a predator’s remaining food source causes its stomach to explode.

If there’s any silver lining here, however small, some predation of the python is good and healthy.

Size becomes a key-determining factor of survival between what will inevitably be the two significant remaining animals. Over time, as evolution runs its course, natural selection would favor increasingly large alligators and pythons.

Yes, what was previously a balanced and varied ecosystem of rabbits, foxes, bobcats, deer and opossums in the Everglades is now becoming a battle between larger-and-larger pythons and alligators.

Public Hunts to Raise Awareness

In February of 2012, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission initiated a 30-day hunt to raise public awareness on this issue. Around 1,600 people from 38 states participated in the hunt. 68 pythons were killed. 68. Assuming 30,000 are in the wild, the low end of figures, 68 represents .2% of the python population. The primary reason for this low number is that the snakes are notoriously difficult to locate.

A more recent hunt, as part of Florida's 2016 Python Challenge, took place this past January. 106 pythons were captured this past year. This represents an improvement from 2013 but hardly puts a dent in the total number in the wild. Cooler temperatures have forced snakes into open spaces and assists hunters in finding them. In addition, hunters are improving their hunting skills.

Florida's approach appears to be containing the snakes as the solution. This hunt represents one of the first steps in the process. And the hunt also was meant as a way of doing some introductory research on where the snakes are located.

The Nature Conservancy also launched a Python Patrol Program in 2008 where citizens are trained to alert authorities of snake sightings. As part of the program, wildlife officials then move forward with capturing the snakes. The program was effective in the Florida Keys and then was expanded mainland to the Everglades with support from the National Park Service and the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. In total, 200 python capture responders are trained.

This python patrol program is unquestionably a step in the right direction.

Preventing the spread of these animals is an enormously challenging undertaking. I have no idea how it can be done. These animals are excellent swimmers and travel extensively through marsh, swamps and river valleys. They also travel by land and are great climbers with prehensile tails.

Worse still, a challenge exists with Florida’s proposed attempt at containment. Reducing the population of pythons decreases the competition for remaining food resources. As a result, the pythons that do remain become healthier, stronger and more fertile. And in the end, the population continues to grow at high rates. Yep, decreasing the population in the short-term might actually cause it to spike in the long-term. The brutal reality is that preventing the spread of these animals appears nearly impossible.

In Conclusion

It's a tragic situation for all the native wildlife defenseless from these invasive animals - bobcat, deer, opossum, raccoon, rabbit and fox. When these animals run out, it seems any remaining animals would be vulnerable as the pythons basically eat anything.

My point isn't a sentimental one in favor of one specific animal over another; I have nothing against the pythons. It's simply an appreciation for ecological balance, sustainability and life. The situation now is completely imbalanced and unsustainable. It's truly tragic to see the devastating consequences humanity can have on an ecosystem because of some people's misguided desire to own as a "pet" a 12-foot wild snake.

In January of 2012, the federal government announced a ban on the import of the Burmese pythons, South African python, North African python, and yellow anaconda. Interior Secretary Ken Salazar acknowledges the severity of the crisis when he uses the word "forever" to describe how long the ban would last.

Apparently, the law was held up in bureaucracy for nearly two years by the reptile industry. Furthermore, environmentalists were pushing for 9 species of non-native snakes to be included in the legislation but only 4 were listed.

Thank you to the federal government for finally getting this right. Naturally, this ban represents progress and is a good thing.

At the same time, the ban seems monumentally overdue, at least 7 years too late. With populations of many native mammals down 90+% and the most conservative estimate pinning 30,000 pythons breeding in the wild, the damage is done and irreversible. While good and necessary, this ban is a bit like administering a vaccine to a patient that died years ago. Perhaps, we will learn faster next time.

#invasivespecies #everglades

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lovemesomesurveys · 5 years ago

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1. Do you like architecture? If so, do you have a favourite style or structure that you’d like to make note? Uhh, I can appreciate a beautiful building, but I know nothing about architecture. I couldn’t tell you what style or what type of structure it is or anything. 2. What is one thing you look forward to this winter? I love wintertime. It’s still winter, even though it doesn’t feel like it anymore. I hate California weather. It’s basically summer with some fall, winter, and spring sprinkled in. Ugh. Anyway, I love that time of year because of the weather, the smells, the colors, the coziness of it (wearing warm clothes, drinking warm drinks, bundling up with a blanket, sitting near the fire in the fireplace), and most of all, Christmas! 3. Are you allergic to anything? How do you cope with your allergies? Tangerines, which are very easy to avoid. I do have seasonal allergies, though, which suck. The worst of it is the eye puffiness. It’s super annoying. When it happens I just keep a cold wash cloth over my eyes for awhile off and on until it goes away. 4. What is one of your favourite words, in any language, and why? Hmm. I have some, but I’m blanking at the moment.

5. How would you describe this year? Was it pleasant, satisfying, or tumultuous…? We’re just starting March, so it’s too soon to say. January and February went by fast, which was weird for January. That month usually feels like 84 weeks. Early February was awesome because I went to Disneyland for a few days. That was nice. Otherwise, it’s just been the same ol’, same ol’. Although, not as bad compared to last year when I got knocked hard on my ass with the flu and bronchitis, which then led to setbacks with other health stuff. It took me a few months to get back to my normal. It was really bad. 6. What is one thing that has been on your mind lately? My mind is always a jumbled mess. 7. Is there a picture you could share that is something you find aesthetically pleasing? I don’t feel like it. 8. Do you think others consider you very observant? Do you agree? My mom says I’m not. She and my brother like to do this thing where they peek their head into my room or stand there for a few seconds waiting for me to notice they’re there (my back is to my bedroom door) just to mess with me cause they know I’m a jumpy person. For some reason it takes me awhile sometimes. It’s usually when I’m really into something I’m watching on YouTube or doing on my computer. It’s also when I have headphones on. Anyway, if I do finally notice or they have to make themselves known I end up jumping either way cause I’m such a jumpy person. If I don’t notice on my own they’re like, “you didn’t sense me standing there???” I don’t find it amusing, but they get a real kick out of it. -___- I try to make it a point to be aware of my surroundings when out in public, though. 9. Do you celebrate a winter holiday? If so, which holiday? Christmas!

10. Are there any traditions that you look forward to doing? I love decorating for Christmas, watching Christmas movies, listening to Christmas music, and get presents for my loved ones and wrap them. I used to like to bake, but I haven’t done that the last few years. I also haven’t decorated a gingerbread house in awhile. 11. Where is the farthest you’ve travelled on foot? All over San Francisco. If you don’t know, San Francisco is very hill-y. Lots of steep ways up and down through the city. I honestly don’t know how the hell I did it. Granted, I did have help, but still. I definitely couldn’t do it at all now. 12. Are there any clothes or items that you have and are embarrassed to wear or show in public? No. 13. Are there any songs that you perhaps like but avoid because it makes you sad when heard? I listen to them anyway.

14. Do you like the area that you live in? What do you like or dislike about the area? I mean, my neighborhood is fine, but the city is shit. 15. What do you think is the best way to keep hair healthy? Don’t wash it everyday, good shampoo, and use some good hair creams or oils. 16. Do you have a memory of when you really thought that you have lucked out on something? If so, what was it? Had a few things happen during our Disneyland trip recently that just really worked out well in our favor. 17. If you have apps on your mobile phone, which one do you use the most? YouTube, Spotify, Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, and Instagram. 18. What month do you think was most stressful to you and why? We’ll see how March goes. 19. Which do you like better: fantasy or science fiction novels? Why? Fantasy. 20. Do you like opossums? Do you think it is ethically right for others to keep opossums as pets? No, not particularly. I also don’t think they’re meant to be pets? 21. What is your favourite unhealthy drink that you like to consume (if you have one, that is)? Starbucks Doubleshot energy drink. 22. When was the last time someone asked you a huge favour or advice? Do you get asked often by this person? It’s been awhile. 23. Do you know your birthstone? What is it and do you like it or do you prefer another kind of gemstone? Yeah, it’s ruby. I think it’s pretty; I have a few jewelry pieces with rubies. 24. What are your thoughts on nihilism? Ah, is that where Eve 6 got their lyric, “Find nothing but faith in nothing?” Anyway, I’m not a nihilist. 25. When and where was the last time you were or felt lost? I’ve felt lost for a long time.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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365elephantsoap · 4 years ago

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BABY OPOSSUMS ARE KIND OF CUTE

I feel like this space has been nothing but talk about the retaining wall or ‘woe is me I’m stuck at home’. Nothing of interest happens around here. We are boring. Our Friday evenings look something like this: Michael brings me a glass of wine at 4:30 while I am in the middle of watching presentations in Friday Science Club. We order dinner and then get all excited about our Door Dash notifications. I know many of you are already experienced with food delivery apps, but ordering delivery for other than pizza or Chinese food is still a new thing for us. We get really excited about our possibilities. Our food arrives and it is consumed. I drink the whole bottle of wine and then go to bed at 10:00.

I am not a party animal.

If I had to pick an actually animal to represent a party animal, I think I would chose the opossum. Except I imagine that their parties are very much more banjo moonshine and less fancy Thai and a smooth Malbec. The opossum is the group of Frat boys out on Spring Break, drunkenly wandering down a street trying to find their hotel. They are the kind of drunk that when one spots a slice of pizza in the garbage, they all dive in and fight over it. You know that drunk. Opossums have a definite drunk walk and I’ve seen a number of garbage cans with an opossum inside snacking on a greasy banana peel. Look. I know they’re good for the environment and eat the bugs that drive us crazy, but they still give me the creeps with their beady eyes and long snout with horrible British teeth.

I woke up around 4 AM on day last week. My head was pounding and I got up to take some aspirin and use the bathroom. Josephine went outside during this time and when I came out of the bathroom, I could hear her barking in the back yard. I tapped on the kitchen window. This usually works. She hears the tapping and comes right on in, but this time the tapping at the window was not getting her attention. I put on some shoes and opened the back door. I could just barely see Josephine. She was furiously barking and running from one side of the chicken pen to the other. I hesitated in the doorway and thought “crap…there’s something in the chicken pen that is not supposed to be in the chicken pen.” This is the moment I go out in the dark and either discover a cute alien like E.T. or the horrifying Alien that wants to lay it’s eggs inside of me.

The first thing I do is go out and grab Josephine. As I lean down to pick her up, I can see a small furry white opossum inside the pen. Josephine has become this hard statue of herself; she is so furious. I walk Josephine back to the house so I can put her some where safe and grab our claw that Michael uses to pick up the dead that Albus brings home. Wait…did I say we’re boring? I go back out to the chicken pen and I don’t see him. I thought “Yay! he got out!”, but then I look over and see that he has climbed up the side of the pen about level with my face. He’s just hanging there, looking at me and hissing. Then I try to grab him with the claw, but he just slips right out of the claw every time. So I go back inside and wake up Michael who stumbles out into the dark with me. So now both of us are out there chasing this baby opossum around the chicken pen. Every time the opossum turns to hiss at us, we jump back a little. Finally, the little guy squeezed out of the pen probably the same way he squeezed into it. There’s a tiny gap between the ground and bottom of the pen in the back just big enough for something his size to squeeze through.

We checked on the chickens. They seemed oblivious. Foghorn was sleeping on top of eggs in the nesting box, so we know the opossum didn’t get any eggs. The chickens are at least three times his size, so we know he didn’t get any of the chickens. He probably squeezed himself into the pen to drink some water and eat some chicken feed. Once he filled up on water and food, he probably just fell asleep inside the pen. Just like a drunk Frat boy. I’m sure Josephine scared the bejeebus out of him. Good girl.

Note that I do not have a picture of that baby opossum. I was not thinking clearly enough at four o’clock in the morning to grab my camera. You’ll just have to trust me when I say that this baby opossum was actually kind of cute. Despite his hairless tail.

#opossum #chickens #Josephine

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rugessnome · 7 years ago

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(!-----Post currently under construction---)

pileofsith's:

What are your fave foods/dishes? um I haven't even tried to figure out what a limited list of favorites would be. To maybe go with component foods, I clearly like chocolate (preferably dark), cheddar cheese, mangoes, potatoes, apples, grapefruit, tangerines...

Any types of characters you immediately know you will like? evidently the extremely specific archetype of poor home scenario bad decision about 17 and def not the hero (that would be me, too) but uh, otherwise... I don't know. eta: antiheroes, frequently. (Also: honest to goodness nerds like oh Newt Geisler or Hego Damask)

Last music you listened to on repeat? probably technically "I Radio Heaven" but. "Dog Days Are Over" on repeat is still very much a Mood.

Anything funny or bizarre happen to you (recently or from way back)?hmmm nothing's really coming to mind... I did avoid hitting both a deer and a opossum recently.

Most annoying tropes in a fictional narrative?that would be... old boys' clubs, forced romance, and ??? kinda a lot of straight up heroes (...moving back up to a previous question...)

Cheerful post-apocalypse or cosy gothic horror?I probably like the latter better but I could go for the former too depending on type of apocalypse. The Giver and Gathering Blue were childhood staples.

Most interesting period in history to read about/watch documentaries on? any really. That said, I tend to have an interest in 20th century Russia (/yes, the СССР) and uh physics and mathematics history especially ancient math and from about 1800? onward in physics

Three fave monsters/cryptids/mythology or folklore creatures? hmmm oddly not really sure I have some. But perhaps: dragons ala Dragon Rider, Ents (...trees), and does Orion count bc I like the constellation (and the song)

Earth, fire, water or air? earth (even though I am eager to learn more about combustion. But I fear deep water and heights so...)

What language(s) would you love to know? what language wouldn't I? if it's just like instantly know without studying, I'm ambivalent about that for some form of Chinese but ...I might be tempted to use it on like Italian (I just don't like it *that* well but might use it) and French (which I like better but has annoying features for learning. Though not one of my top favorite languages either) and to majorly improve my Spanish.

hegodamask's:

Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall? wiinter? Idk. Not summer though, at least not here--I become significantly demotivated beyond about 75°F outdoors.

What’s the best movie and the best TV show you’ve watched this year?um...what have I even watched I've been so busy. Not much recent. I guess uh Finding Dory and ...Monk?

If you could travel to anywhere in the world tomorrow, where would you go? I'm probably not taking proper advantage of this but with so little time to prepare I think I might just opt for somewhere in the north US. Michigan is an old favorite, or Minnesota, or New England, or the Pacific Northwest. Montana... (Yes, there are other places in the world I would and hope to visit, but I am afraid I probably wouldn't venture out of the country, except perhaps to Canada, on 24-48 hours notice.)

House party or clubbing? (if you really had to choose) I haven't been to either, I think? (I don't think a brewery or a bar count as clubbing). I guess house party, hoping that it's...my sort of scene (do people say that? Look, in what I like to think of as a very Nome-like twist, most of the times I have been tipsy have involved math...)

Top three pet peevs sexism for one ugh. Also uh, unnecessarily sexual discussion and people who antagonize and/or insult my friends.

What’s your dream job? Do you already have it? no, I do not have it; I don't even know what it would be. ...I might like doing food science/engineering consultation? It would involve food and also science...

If you could be any mythical creature what would you be? uh do elves (per like Tolkien or DnD. NOT Pratchett's!) count? I feel like maybe I could get away with indulging my learn all the things! impulse with their life span... (if not, though even less likely to count: hobbit)

Tell me a random fact about yourself I am really interested in lacemaking and embroidery even though I don't really like overembellished clothing.

If you could have a movie or TV show made exactly how you wanted it, what would it be about and who would be in the cast? what do I want such a thing to be about... honestly the thing I've really thought about doing in the medium of film is music videos! Once I tried to write down what I'd want for one of "Viva La Vida". but for the second question idk. I suppose the artists make some sense there but our visions might not match. And ...there aren't a lot of people, I think somehow, that I really like to look at, so idk.

What would your younger self say if they saw you now? I don't really know but tbh I think smol mouse would be horrified because of some of the aspects of how we were raised and the way I've shed some of them... O.o

My own questions to come...

1. Are there any features that tend to attract you in a language (e.g. resembles Latin/uses the sound ð/VSO order/accent)? 2. Do you like math? Why or why not? 3. If so limited for a year, would you rather drink (regardless of alcohol content) only sour drinks or only drinks that are too sweet? 4. Do you have any negative experiences with doors? 5. What is your favorite cookie? 6. What is the first browser you remember using? 7. Is it easier to list a) things you haven't tried in your usual produce department b) things you have tried or c) the only things they carry due to limited selection? Make the list! 8. What if anything (e.g. curtains, blinds, suncatchers) is on the window nearest your bed (or is there not one in your bedroom?) and what type of view (e.g. street/parking lot /woods etc) does it have? 9. If you could have the chance to redo something until you were satisfied with the outcome, what would it be? 10. What do you look for in a desk, or do you prefer to work at some other piece of furniture?

#Passalong memes

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topworldhistory · 5 years ago

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By the time Thanksgiving became an official U.S. holiday in 1863, wild turkeys had nearly disappeared. But Depression-era shifts in land use helped the animals rebound.

Before European settlers arrived in North America, there were millions of wild turkeys spread across what are now 39 U.S. states. But by the 1930s, wild turkeys had disappeared from at least 20 states and their total population had dropped to 30,000.

Over the next few decades, a series of reforms, conservation efforts and demographic changes helped bring wild turkeys back from the brink of extinction—making them one of the United States’ biggest wildlife success stories.

Wild turkey populations started declining in the 17th century as Euorpean colonists hunted them and displaced their habitats. By the time President Abraham Lincoln made Thanksgiving an official U.S. holiday in 1863, wild turkeys had disappeared completely from Connecticut, Vermont, New York and Massachusetts. Within a couple decades, they also disappeared from states farther west like Kansas, South Dakota, Ohio, Nebraska and Wisconsin. In an 1884 issue of Harper’s Weekly, one writer predicted wild turkeys would soon become “as extinct as the dodo.”

Illustration for a 1908 Thanksgiving postcard.

Wild turkeys, or Meleagris gallopavo, were not the only native U.S. species that were in danger. By 1889, there were only 541 American bison left. By the 1930s, when wild turkey populations hit their lowest, the passenger pigeon had already become extinct. The crisis in native species populations galvanized conservationists, who helped pass the Federal Aid in Wildlife Restoration Act of 1937, also known as the Pittman-Robertson Act. This act placed a tax on hunting guns and ammunition to pay for wildlife restoration efforts.

The 1930s also saw a major shift among the U.S. population that would end up benefiting wild turkeys, albeit unwittingly. The Great Depression forced many families to abandon their farms, leaving the land open for wild turkeys to expand into. “As these farms slowly reverted to native grasses, shrubs, and trees, wild turkey habitat began to emerge,” according to the National Wild Turkey Federation’s website.

READ MORE: What Life Was Like in the Great Depression

E. Donnall Thomas Jr., author of How Sportsmen Saved the World: The Unsung Conservation Effort of Hunters and Anglers, says the decline of cotton farms in particular may have helped wild turkeys rebound in states like Texas.

Thomas’ father, who won the Nobel Prize in physiology or medicine in 1990, recalls that there was nothing but raccoons, opossums and other small game to hunt growing up in Mart, Texas during the 1930s. But when Thomas traveled back to the area with his father around the 1960s, his father “was absolutely astounded” to see how wild turkey had flourished.

“When he grew up there, all the land was planted in cotton,” Thomas says. “Cotton is terrible wildlife habitat—nothing can eat it, it doesn’t provide good escape cover—and he was quite sure that’s the reason that species like deer and turkeys weren’t there during the 1930s. When we went back, cotton was gone.”

These changes in the 1930s provided good habitats for wild turkeys. However, their numbers didn’t really start to rebound until the 1950s, because until then, conservationists couldn’t figure out a good way to relocate wild turkeys to these habitats.

“The conservation movement started bringing various species back around the turn of the century,” says Jim Sterba, author of Nature Wars: The Incredible Story of How Wildlife Comebacks Turned Backyards Into Battlegrounds. “But wild turkeys were [one of] the last species that got brought back because they couldn’t figure out how to do it.”

Finally, in the 1950s, conservationists realized they could safely relocate wild turkeys with rocket or cannon nets. These are nets that shoot out and trap animals. Because of relocation efforts, there are now millions of wild turkeys across dozens of states.

A wild turkey spotted along the highway in 1975, believed to be one of several wild turkeys once planted along the South Platte River in northeastern Colorado.

Thomas speculates that one of the reasons wild turkeys are able to thrive in Montana, the state he lives in, is because of a change in ranching habits that also took place around the 1930s. During this time, cattle ranchers began to bring their cows into feedlots near their ranch houses during the winter. The change in ranching habits had absolutely nothing to do with turkeys, but ended up providing them with a reliable food source to survive the winter.

“Turkeys can eat cow manure,” Thomas explains. “They love to dig through manure, pick out undigested seeds and bits of corn and whatever the cattle have been eating… In the winter, when there’s snow, it’s not unusual to see 100 wild turkeys gathered around at a little feedlot next to a ranch building.”

Although the food source is most important during the winter, when cattle are concentrated in one area, wild turkeys also eat cow manure in warmer seasons when the cattle are more spread out. “It’s very, very common to see wild turkeys in the spring flipping over cow turds,” he says, adding, “that food source wouldn’t be here if the cattle weren’t here.”

from Stories - HISTORY https://ift.tt/2OCNjuj November 23, 2019 at 02:45AM

#Worldhistory

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humanegardener · 7 years ago

Text

As a human in the modern world, I’m experiencing a bit of habitat envy. I crave more chances to sleep longer, pick my own fruit, and curl up with loved ones under a tree. If the universe determined our fates based on personalities and preferences, I’d likely be assigned to sloth-hood: slow-moving, plant-eating, tree-dwelling. The bumblebee lifestyle would be a good fit, too, allowing me to visit flowers all day and cozy up with family at night.

But I’m not complaining. This year has yielded extraordinary opportunities to spread the word about the importance of caring for wild plants and animals in our backyards. If it’s meant less time in my own garden, I don’t regret it. And I’ve learned to live vicariously through the creatures taking shelter there. Even brief strolls through our little oasis have brought countless insights into their often hidden world. Follow along as I recap 11 unforgettable moments in our 2017 humane garden.

1. The Eclipse Wasp

When her iridescent blue wings close, she is twilight. When they open, she’s as brilliant as the sun. How fitting, then, that I first discovered this otherworldly wasp in my garden just as the solar eclipse was starting on the afternoon of August 21. The sight of such a brilliant animal just feet from the ground was even more spectacular than anything I could have spied in the sky. Known scientifically as Trogus pennator, she appeared to have no common name, so I dubbed her the eclipse wasp. Harmless to us, she has an unusual nesting site: the caterpillars of swallowtail butterflies. She injects a single egg into each caterpillar she finds; when the egg hatches, the wasp larva feeds on and eventually kills her host. To those who find this gutting of butterfly babies distasteful, I suggest remembering that birds devour caterpillars, too, and we don’t hold their predatory ways against them.

2. The Devoted and Drenched Dad

A summer downpour didn’t stop this papa cardinal, spotted one day through a screen door to our deck, from feeding his hungry family. Wondering about the identity of the unlucky soul about to end up in a baby bird’s belly, I checked my copy of Caterpillars of Eastern North America and discovered his name: Abbott’s sphinx moth caterpillar. Though I’d never seen one before, I guessed that we had plenty, as this species’ host plants—grape and Virginia creeper—proliferate in our gardens. Most chicks need an abundance of caterpillars in their diets, so these volunteer vines provide a plethora of baby food to young bird families.

3. The Superman Ant on a Mission

http://www.humanegardener.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/IMG_7829.m4v

Taking a quick break from writing to refresh the birdbaths one day, I happened upon a familiar-looking butterfly skating oddly across our patio. Closer inspection revealed an ant carrying the wing of a silver-spotted skipper. How that butterfly met her demise, I’m not sure, but the scavenging ants made sure she did not die in vain.

4. The Hitchhikers

At first glance, this might look like the opossum of the insect world, a devoted mama carrying young ones on her back. That’s what my husband, Will, and I assumed when we came upon this scene under our ash tree last spring. But the diminutive hitchhikers are no mini-mes. They’re a completely different species. Called fire-colored beetles, they are attracted to cantharidin, a caustic chemical exuded by the larger blister beetle to deter predators. The tiny passengers may lick, chew or nip to extract the coveted potion, which some beetle species pass along to females while mating to confer protection to their offspring, according to the book Beetles of Eastern North America.

5. The Special Delivery

Whenever Will says, “Nancy, come here and look at something, and come quietly,” I know I’m in for a treat. This time it was a special delivery in the patio garden right outside our basement door. All our outdoor plans ceased that late spring week; we barely set foot into the backyard for fear of disturbing this newborn fawn. Except to stand, stretch and turn around, she didn’t move much either. We knew her mother must be close by, calling her baby to nurse but otherwise keeping her distance to avoid attracting predators. We saw no signs of distress—no crying, no flies, no indication of discomfort or confusion. Still, I couldn’t help but worry. Just as I started to wonder aloud if we should be concerned about her well-being, we woke up one morning to find our baby had left as quietly as she’d arrived. She was strong enough now to join her mother, who would find new spots to hide her precious cargo each day and plenty of food for her family in our deer-friendly garden.

6. The Buzz That Fell on Half-Deaf Ears

http://www.humanegardener.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/IMG_7978.m4v

Being half-deaf all my life, I’ve missed a lot. Punchlines elude me amid roaring laughter, and having them repeated to me is of no use when I’ve already missed half the joke. But maybe this forced tuning-out of human noise has given me more sensitivity to nature’s music, including the dramatic soundtrack of bumblebee buzz pollination. Turn up the volume on the video, and between the lower drone of wing flapping, you’ll hear it, too: the distinctive high pitch of the bee’s flight muscles vibrating at a rapid clip to shake the pollen out of the anthers of this wild senna. It’s an amazing trick that some flowers—including those of tomatoes, blueberries and other human food crops—require for pollination. Only some bees can perform it, though, and the honeybee, a domesticated animal originally introduced from Europe, isn’t among them. We’d be awfully hungry without our buzz-pollinating wild friends—yet another reason to skip the hives in favor of nurturing habitat for the native bees already in our midst.

7. The Bird Who Thought Our Yard Was a Forest

When this scarlet tanager joined our happy hour one evening in the height of summer, I knew it was a rare event. Little did I know how rare until I posted the photo and received responses from avid birders saying they had yet to spot one on their treks through the woods. Described by the Cornell Lab of Ornithology as “frustratingly hard to find” because of their preference for high canopies of “large, undisturbed tracts of forest,” scarlet tanagers seem unlikely candidates for suburban backyard stopovers. This one kept us company for at least 20 minutes while feasting on the ripening fruit of staghorn sumac trees.

8. The Ant Hill That Wasn’t an Ant Hill

I’d read about it, written about it, and seen it from a distance in the past. But until this summer, I’d never actually gotten close enough to photograph a ground-nesting bee emerging from her hole, gathering pollen, and returning to her nest repeatedly. That seems strange in retrospect, since these soil dwellers are everywhere, comprising about 70 percent of our 4,000 or so native bee species in North America. They’re generally small and solitary, so it takes patience and a zoom lens to stake out such minifauna. One helpful clue to their whereabouts is the presence of mounds that look like anthills. Though they work alone, many bees create these nests near each other; I found mine along the edge of a mowed path that runs through our meadow down to the compost pile.

9. The Frog Who Thought He Was in a Jungle

As their name implies, tree frogs like to hang out high in the canopy. And sure enough, their vocalizations led my binocular-aided eyes to one atop a sassafras tree this summer. But sometimes the diminutive frogs descend to much lower altitudes during breeding season, seeming to take a particular liking to our potted rubber trees. In mid-May, just hours after I’d moved a few from their winter home in the basement to their summer spot on the patio, this little guy made himself right at home atop one of the sturdy leaves. Thin-skinned amphibians are especially vulnerable to the onslaught of chemicals and power equipment in a typical home landscape, so I feel especially protective of each one I find.

10. The Hamburglar Bun Gourmand

Our birdbaths serve many purposes: quenching animals’ thirst, helping birds clean their feathers, and—apparently—giving crow connoisseurs a place to prepare their meals. This hamburger bun of unknown origins got a thorough soaking last March before the bird took off with the dripping mass gripped firmly in his beak. Was he cleaning off the human refuse before deigning to eat it himself? Was he softening it up to make it more palatable? Theories abound, but this is a common behavior among our highly intelligent feathered friends. I’m just happy I got to see it, even if through a fuzzy window screen.

11. The Plant That Inspired Our Neighbor to Go Wild

How many species can one plant support? At some point we stopped counting, but our neighbor walked by when we were still trying. “What is this plant called?” she asked. “Can you give me some seeds?” I was surprised by the sudden interest. She’d never wanted tall plants but didn’t seem to care that this boneset towered above her. She’d never wanted prolific spreaders but could clearly see this self-starter had sprouted from a crack in our driveway. What sold my friend on Eupatorium serotinum? It certainly wasn’t me. Nothing I can say comes close to the sales pitch made by the bees, butterflies, mating wasps, bee flies, and moths crowding every bloom each summer. The moment confirmed my belief that wildlife of all kinds are the best ambassadors for the native plants that sustain them. We just need to have the courage to let them shine in our gardens for all the world to see.

Featured images, top: Tachinid flies also use caterpillars as a nesting site; when eggs hatch, the fly larvae feed on the caterpillars. Despite all this predation on baby butterflies and moths, we have dozens of winged beauties making it to adulthood in our garden, including the mourning cloak who emerged from winter dormancy in early March. (All photos by Nancy Lawson and Will Heinz)

Top 2017 Discoveries in Our Humane Garden As a human in the modern world, I'm experiencing a bit of habitat envy. I crave more chances to sleep longer, pick my own fruit, and curl up with loved ones under a tree.

#native plants #wildlife gardening

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alloftheangels · 7 years ago

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for that ask thing if youre up for it just answer the whole thing. i'll read every answer even if no one else wants to take the time to

musorry it took me so long to do this ahhh but you’re so sweet thank you

200: My crush’s name is: Steven 199: I was born in: Newfoundland, Canada198: I am really: sleepy197: My cellphone company is: bell196: My eye color is: blue195: My shoe size is: 10194: My ring size is: 8193: My height is: 5′2″192: I am allergic to: nothing afaik191: My 1st car was: i haven’t had one of my own lol190: My 1st job was: never had one189: Last book you read: Girl, Interrupted188: My bed is: so comfy and needs the sheets changed187: My pet: s are nerds186: My best friend: Lucy!!185: My favorite shampoo is: don’t really have one?184: Xbox or ps3: uhhh ps3?183: Piggy banks are: rlly good because i find money i didn’t know i had182: In my pockets: no pockets on my pajama shorts181: On my calendar: don’t have one oop180: Marriage is: special and exciting to me c:179: Spongebob can: ????178: My mom: is probably the best parent i could have asked for177: The last three songs I bought were? Fast Car by Tracy Chapman, Hurt by Johnny Cash and I don’t remember any other than those lol176: Last YouTube video watched: primitive technology-mud175: How many cousins do you have? 2 second cousins lol174: Do you have any siblings? older brother173: Are your parents divorced? nope172: Are you taller than your mom? i think we’re the same height171: Do you play an instrument? yup, guitar, bass, clarinet, a little piano170: What did you do yesterday? went to visit lucy in the hospital, hung out w some friends[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: nah168: Luck: yes167: Fate: yes166: Yourself: nope165: Aliens: yes164: Heaven: i believe in a good and bad afterlife 163: Hell: ^162: God: nope161: Horoscopes: kinda, for fun?160: Soul mates: yes159: Ghosts: yes158: Gay Marriage: yes157: War: nope156: Orbs: what155: Magic: kinda[ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs153: Drunk or High: neither lol152: Phone or Online: phone151: Red heads or Black haired: both150: Blondes or Brunettes: blondes (i’ve always had a thing for blondes idk why)149: Hot or cold: neither 148: Summer or winter: summer147: Autumn or Spring: spring146: Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate145: Night or Day: night144: Oranges or Apples: oranges143: Curly or Straight hair: on me, straight hair142: McDonalds or Burger King: mcdonalds141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: milk chocolate140: Mac or PC: PC139: Flip flops or high heals: flip flops138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: how is this even a question, sweet and poor137: Coke or Pepsi: not a fan of cola136: Hillary or Obama: ehh obama?135: Burried or cremated: buried so i can have a neat headstone134: Singing or Dancing: singing133: Coach or Chanel: neither132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who131: Small town or Big city: big city130: Wal-Mart or Target: target129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: neither128: Manicure or Pedicure: manicure127: East Coast or West Coast: east coast126: Your Birthday or Christmas: christmas125: Chocolate or Flowers: flowers124: Disney or Six Flags: never been so idk123: Yankees or Red Sox: nope[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: bad121: George Bush: b a d120: Gay Marriage: yes?? duh119: The presidential election: ew118: Abortion: pro-choice117: MySpace: dead before i got the chance to meet it116: Reality TV: entertaining sometimes 115: Parents: mine are good114: Back stabbers: fuck em113: Ebay: good112: Facebook: meh111: Work: meh110: My Neighbors: nice lady109: Gas Prices: too expensive jesus fuck108: Designer Clothes: unnecessary 107: College: idk 106: Sports: ew105: My family: good104: The future: scary[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: like an hour ago102: Last time you ate: about 7:00101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: i think like three weeks ago?100: Cried in front of someone: today99: Went to a movie theater: almost two years i think damn wild98: Took a vacation: i don’t really do that97: Swam in a pool: couple years96: Changed a diaper: never95: Got my nails done: like more than a decade ago (at a salon i do them myself frequently)94: Went to a wedding: three or four years?93: Broke a bone: never have92: Got a peircing: 3 years ago91: Broke the law: never that i know of90: Texted: today[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: Steven88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: Molly (my dog) and steven87: The last movie I saw: Star Trek 486: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: nothing really85: The thing im not looking forward to: going to homewood84: People call me: by my name83: The most difficult thing to do is: get out of bed82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: never81: My zodiac sign is: Leo80: The first person i talked to today was: my mom79: First time you had a crush: second grade78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: mom lol77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: i dunno76: Right now I am talking to: steven75: What are you going to do when you grow up: no idea74: I have/will get a job: hopefully in the new year73: Tomorrow: sunday72: Today: saturday71: Next Summer: 201870: Next Weekend: october69: I have these pets: dog and cat68: The worst sound in the world: ice scraping 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: idk honestly i just cry a lot66: People that make you happy: lucy, steven65: Last time I cried: today64: My friends are: amazing people63: My computer is: kinda shit62: My School: nope61: My Car: isn’t mine 60: I lose all respect for people who: i have a lot of answers for this59: The movie I cried at was: i don’t remember aaaaaaaaa58: Your hair color is: bleach blonde rn57: TV shows you watch: nothing consistently 56: Favorite web site: this hellsite for some ungodly reason55: Your dream vacation: i wanna go to bora bora but also tour europe54: The worst pain I was ever in was: when i overdosed 53: How do you like your steak cooked: don’t like steak52: My room is: a mess51: My favorite celebrity is: frank iero50: Where would you like to be: sleep49: Do you want children: i think so48: Ever been in love: yes47: Who’s your best friend: lucy46: More guy friends or girl friends: guys45: One thing that makes you feel great is: people complimenting my makeup44: One person that you wish you could see right now: not sure43: Do you have a 5 year plan: i don’t even have a 5 minute plan lol42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: not a physical one41: Have you pre-named your children: no40: Last person I got mad at: probably steven lol39: I would like to move to: not sure38: I wish I was a professional: guitarist or bassist [ My Favorites ]37: Candy: sour patch kids36: Vehicle: idk35: President: no34: State visited: never left the province 33: Cellphone provider: i guess my current one32: Athlete: nope31: Actor: not sure30: Actress: not sure29: Singer: don’t28: Band: don’t even27: Clothing store: wh26: Grocery store: who has a favourite grocery store25: TV show: don’t really have one24: Movie: the rocky horror picture show23: Website: tumblr i suppose22: Animal: opossum21: Theme park: never been to one20: Holiday: christmas19: Sport to watch: hockey18: Sport to play: nope17: Magazine: nope16: Book: laura jane grace’s autobiography 15: Day of the week: friday14: Beach: sandy cove beach13: Concert attended: the first time i saw marianas trench12: Thing to cook: i hate cooking11: Food: nachos or taquitos10: Restaurant: boston pizza9: Radio station: we only have two lol8: Yankee candle scent: never seen one irl7: Perfume: i have this dove spray i rlly like but it’s discontinued :(6: Flower: gerbera daisies5: Color: blue4: Talk show host: nope3: Comedian: bo burnham2: Dog breed: alaskan malamutes1: did you answer all these truthfully ? ye

#long post #Anonymous

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hellohasheehee-blog · 8 years ago

Text

A Reverie in the Swamp

The tavern looked to have been a former church, but the tongues spoken inside were clearly not the Sunday variety. Through the window, I saw figures traced in candlelight outline the clamor from within. There was no hesitation. I strutted up the creek board and, emboldened by my prowess, pushed forth the door and entered as a realized being, brazen as the days when an entourage of Hasheesheens and hanger-ons still clung to my side. That is my way wherever I may roam, but sometimes I forget. A gray-eyed Cree nodded as I approached and gestured at the bar with a snap of his fingers.

I came in search of direction, but lost it soon enough under the influence of a squirrely barmaid with an eye for strangers. “Such a coaxing lass,” I thought as she poured an a generous dose of moonshine into my Seabreeze, “I swear she’s among a pantheon of forgotten goddesses, or at least the neice of one”. Seeing her, I remembered faces of distant loved ones, still I could not place her origins. Her smile led to a shot, which led to many more.

So captivated was I by her aura, I failed to notice a swelling crowd compacting the barroom with each ticking on the clock. A spell had been cast. “10, 9, 8…” And firmly broken. “7, 6, 5…” I whipped around poised to strike. “4, 3, 2…” And saw the darnedest thing. “One.” A possum floated in a glass pyramid above a frenzied mass of swamp dwellers.

“Happy New Year!”

Powders of natural dye colored the musty air with celebratory clouds, as revelry commenced. Clay trinkets and tiny pebbles were tossed about, rattling as they hit the floor. A jug band huffed and puffed “Auld Lang Syne” in a gassy baritone. For a moment, I stood humbled. The opossum’s obelisk had obviously been a planned descent from the rafters for a New Year’s lark, but damned if it wasn’t a most crazed spectacle to catch by happenstance. Have you ever expelled a belief etched firmly in your mind-- one that’s shaped you since childhood? The belief you aren’t good enough, perhaps, or smart enough, or beautiful enough? I realized I had fixated on the notion that I was unique-- that I was different than all else, a bon apart. But as this whiskered madonna descended, that illusion shattered like glass. We all cast our own light, undoubtedly, but nothing holds sway like a Possum Drop, man. If you want something special, that’s it-- they doll her up and everything. I swear the midnight critter even cast me a conspiratorial wink mere moments before the barmaid of my fancy stole me away for a new year’s kiss over by the swamp cooler!

In an hour’s time, I had bought the bar and won the people. “To the Great Dismal Swamp,” I cheered, “And the company she keeps!” Jars an bottles were hoisted high into the air. The walls vibrated with pleasure! An overflow of liquor leaked between the floorboards into the dredge below. An elder in fez, wearing rags and ribbons of a war long passed, staggered through a slurred rendition of “Knocking on Heaven’s Door" by Hafez of Shiraz (upon whose mention be peace). Knowing glances were exchanged between several love triangles, a few of which I found myself in the middle. At the height of revelry, a carpenter with chief’s blood leapt off his stool and demanded a contest of Tuscarora smoke dances, a competition in which I proudly took sixth place despite lacking at least a week of sleep. A young woman presented roses to the champion of the dance and led him away, as though she had planned that moment for a very long time. The room burst with whistle and applause.

Despite the clatter, the crash of the table collapsing was so extraordinarily out of place, it brought the celebration to a screeching halt. From under the debris, scurried the midnight possum, long since unattended to and still wearing her new year diaper. She scurried through the crowd eventually hiding beneath the hoop-skirt of the genius granddaughter of one Harriet Tubman. Face smeared in rouge and mascara, the wayward marsupial peeked out from the shadows and softly hiccuped. A flannel-clad gentleman reasoned she must have snuck a few sips from the whiskey gutter and having acquired the taste, tried and failed to climb a nearby table to partake in his unattended brandy, but my theory was she had a penchant for mischief. She met my gaze and I smiled conspiratorially, picked up my snifter full of moonshine, and placed it at my feet. “This one’s on me, comrade. You earned it.” The possum cautiously exited the shadows. She stopped at the glass, looked at me with a twinkle in her eye, and drank, lapping it up as a cheer rattled the ceiling and the swamp was free again.

When I came to the next morning or the morning after, the joint was empty. Detritus of festivity littered the floor, ash and undergarments spread hastily about the room, an abandoned dragon puppet that had seen it’s last parade lay crumpled in the corner. The glass pyramid still dangled from the ceiling. Patches of chalk smeared the walls, revealing shapes that somewhat resembled bodies. The dim light of the room traced daggers in my brain, but when I reached to lower my Stetson, it wasn’t there. Disoriented, I searched the premises, until I found my hat behind the bar. In it, nestled in a ball, slept the stone drunk o-possum. My movements awoke her and she looked at me with regret, but with heavy eyes that plied for one more shot of bourbon for the road. I rightfully complied and of course partook myself. Downing the shot with a cough, I said to the critter, I said, "Jezebel, this is the first day of the rest of our lives. Let’s see what we can make of it." With taste in mouth, she crawled out of her ten-gallon cubby and began suckling a jug left empty on the floor. "I love you, Jezebel, “ I sang as I dusted soot off my hat, “Yes, I do...”

Outside, the day was much brighter, but the shine no longer pained me. In fact, I felt effervescent. A road stretched endlessly into both horizons. Must’ve come in the back way, I noted, looking into the distance. I looked to the West. It was time to go home again. Leeward, a patch of yellow lingered in the distance, but it was not the rising sun. As it came closer, I saw it was a Vanagon. By either mirage or miracle, I recognized the Jester’s wagon. “Not all who wander are lost,” I whispered as I stuck out my thumb and drew down my hat. The van slowed to a stop and I was in the passenger seat with belt buckled before the driver realized he knew my face.

“Aw, shit it’s Dewdrop Saint Frank,” he exclaimed pulling his hair back from the brow in exasperation, “Of all the fucking people.”

“Please don’t call me that, Jester. My name’s Hasheeshee. Hasheeshee Saint Frank”.

“Whatever, man… Cripes! What the fuck is that thing?”

The hippy stared at Jezebel as she jumped into his van, crawled up my pant leg, and cuddled in my lap. There was a long silence, as I picked up a roach that had been abandoned on the dash and lit it. I coughed and held it forth as a peace offering. “That thing is life, Jester. That... thing... is life itself.” The van inched forward and so began our journey home, past the Eastern hills and inland cities, through gorges and chasms, across the Great Western Plain until we finally reached the shadow of the Rockies, home to Eldorado Springs to this garden where you and I now sit, two souls brought together by a chain of epiphanies in an eon of unremarkable events. There is nothing shocking, nothing unique, about any of us when we are here together and know we are each other. Here, caress my cheek. Do you feel me or do you feel your own hand? We are one, brought up as one by what, we do not know. But I digress. So now that the tale of Jezebel’s remarkable adoption ends, the time has come to talk of more pressing matters.

Now let's talk about us.

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