#nothing from rid2015 FUCK rid2015

[scourgeofmyownbrain]

I have noticed things about this Bumblebee design, and I can't stay silent about it anymore. (If I do not speak my mind now, I fear I may explode, so please bear with my unhinged screaming, this is good for my health.)

I have compiled my thoughts into a post because I want to spread my insanity like a plague. There are things about this YELLOW MOTHER FUCKER that I can not let go un-acknowledged anymore, THE WORLD WILL KNOW OF YOUR SINS AND I WILL BE THE ONE TO REVEAL THEM

Did you notice anything off or weird about Bumblebee in TFP? Did you? Did you notice? Anything?

BECAUSE I DID

BOY FUCKING DID I

TO begin, this fucker has no eye lids. No, I am not kidding, he never blinks. Ever. Entire show. Not one flutter of a wayward eyelid. Those eyebrows do SO MUCH heavy lifting. There are three other characters (Soundwave, Shockwave, and the Vehicons) that also do not blink, but they have either one big eye and no face or a full face mask, NOT TWO COMPLETELY NORMAL EYES THAT JUST DON’T BLINK

Second, his battle "mask." There are maybe like, 3 instances of a battle mask in the entire show: Optimus, Wheeljack, Bumblebee, and I think that's it. And Bumblebee's is the only one that looks like that, that barely-cover-the-mouth thing it's doing.

Why do his upper arms look so disproportionate to his lower arms? They look too small, the wheel looks like it’s most of the structure and, once again, no one else’s looks like this. Look at his horrific shoulders. What kind of unloving god would make this? (also im like 80% sure his left shoulder is clipping on his body just to accommodate this shot fUCKing hoRriFiC CHoicEs gENTlemen leTs KeeP fUCKINg doing iT)

Exhaust Pipes. I shant say more.

Yes, his insignia is fucking tiny and on his pelvis. Do with that what you will. no one else's is like this why-

Mothers and Fuckers I give you the BANE of My Existence, TFP BUMBLEBEE’S HOLLOW KNEES. Look at those fuckers I can thread a stick right through it. These stupid fucking triangles have been haunting me for YEARS, and, just like his eyes, NO OTHER CHARACTER HAS KNEES LIKE THIS!! I feel nothing but rage looking at this, I hate his knees with a fucking passion I am going to commit 8 felonies

Why do his knee spikes stick out so far? Why. Several other characters have similar spikes, why are Bee’s so far out. The Knees...are probably making it look worse than it is.

HIS FEET ARE TOO BIG FOR HIS LEGS WHY ARE THEY SO MUCH BIGGER! They look like clown shoes, why are they so enormous, they look so disproportionate to the rest of his body. It’s so suddenly too, his feet just abruptly explode out.

Bumblebee has no ankles. All of my emotions have shut off. Everyone else has an their joint is closer to their heel, more in the middle of their foot. Bee’s joint is too far away from his heel, more at the front of his foot. Why iS HIS HEEL SO MUCH BIGGER THAN THE REST OF HIS FOOT!! WHY ARE HIS FEET SO GODDAMN WIDE??

Let's look at a couple other bots to make my point. I'll stick to ones around Bee's size. Wheeljack and Knockout are both 21 feet tall, same as Bee. Knockout has similar wheel placement in his feet and Wheeljack has similar wheel placement in his shoulders.

would you look at that they look fucking n o r m a l. look at their NORMAL KNEES and NORMAL ARMS and NORMAL SIZED FEET THEY DON'T LOOK LIKE CLOWN SHOES HELD ON BY FUCKING STRING

I am having a conniption he is the only one that looks like this.

Would you like some very, very cursed knowledge? Yes, you would: TFP Bumblebee and RID2015 Bumblebee CANONICALLY LOOK IDENTICAL. Like, if you were in the ALC Universe, looking at two photos of him from both the time of TFP and RID15, you would not be able to tell them apart. How do I know this?

LET ME TELL YOU. So, in the episode “History Lessons”, Bumblebee takes his team to the ruins of the Nevada Autobot base, Autobot Outpost Omega One, which we all know was destroyed at the end of TFP Season 2, and they find an old recording from Before the base was destroyed. This recording is of Bumblebee in the base before it was destroyed, and his model is the same as his RID15 one. (see FUCKING above)

You’re probably asking yourself, “But why does that matter, it’s just the show’s different art styles and they needed to make sure we recognized Bee in the recording,” Why? Let me list the ways:

Bumblebee has spontaneously grown fingers in RID15. He only had 4 on each hand in TFP, but in RID15 he Suddenly just had 5. They did the exact same thing with Bulkhead, so I’m not just going crazy.

Bumblebee’s transformation sequence has drastically changed. In TFP he transformed face down head forward, and in RID15 he transforms face up head back. This is significant, and can’t be explained as artistic interpretation, because in TFP season 2 episode 4, Bumblebee drives through a ground bridge after Megatron, transforms then launches himself forward, diving to snatch the spark extractor from Megatron’s hand. You can’t do that if you’re leading with your feet. And It is very obvious that Bee transforms face up in RID15, his feet are the front of the car. I would show you pictures but I am not combing through the shows to find any more images I am so done someone please save me-

"The shows have very different art styles, maybe Bumblebee has just changed how he looks." I hear you say, and Yes. That is something that can happen in canon, Starscream “reformatted himself to his old body type,” which is actually true; his RID15 form looks a lot more like his WF/FOC form, and Soundwave shows up in his TFP form when he’s fresh out of the shadow zone, then he changes his form. We have direct confirmation that characters can change their forms. So there shouldn’t be any problems with Bumblebee’s design, correct?

YOU WOULD THINK, but because the video bee is identical to rid15 bee, but it's supposed to be tfp bee, this makes TFP Bee and RID15 Bee CANONICALLY IDENTICAL. Plus Bee's Rescue Bots Cameos are Identical as well, and one is from TFP time and the other is RID15 time.

The LOGICAL implication is that if TFP Bee and RID15 Bee are identical, then RID15 Bee actually doesn’t have eyelids and does not blink. fucking pains me in places that should not be able to feel pain.

Can you see why I'm insane now?

[maukiki1-but-cringefail]

Armada/Micron Legend starscream is not the same person as Cybertron/Galaxy force starscream (Duh)

i mean obviously.....I know Galaxy Force/Cybertron was retconned to be a sequel to Superlink/Energon (in the dub? specifically i think?? i watched everything in sub so. whatever it got retconned regardless) but honestly i thought that was utterly stupid and i get a little sad when people see those two starscreams as the same person. please. I mean i giggled when i first found out about the retconning thing bcs shit don't add up at all whyd they even do that😭stupid as hell

Honestly i didn't like whatever nightscream was supposed to be (I know overall what happens with him, i read instead of watching the show. Superlink is the only show from the unicron trilogy i didn't watch. i got bored lmfao) but just the idea of starscream coming back just undermines his sacrifice in armada/Micron legend idk why people talk about that less but more about op getting revived in rid2015😭💀 also i heard that he was supposed to be thrust? man whatever fuck Superlink this is about Galaxy force

theyre like polar opposites LMFAO they couldn't be more far apart... despite being opposites though i like both of them for what they are. Micron Legend screamers like, anything but a starscream but thats fine (the original version of the anime was giving random ass names to characters on top of that. why is demolisher named ironhide😭🙏). He is a decepticon, but he has good in his heart as was willing to sacrifice himself for a greater good. Galaxy force screamer on the other hand, is an unapologetically EVIL HOE who only cares about himself. And thats hilarious because wdym thats a part of the retcon what did yall feed him in superlink😭please wkwhwjqjbqakkxkxj. no sob story no nothing just a menace a true hater for the love of the game. Personally i think we should put them in a little cage and watch them kill eachother

Its like Galaxy force writers looked at Micron Legend and specifically wrote a polar opposite of the starscream in it. and some mf was like hmm yes. these are the same person. this is a good idea.

i need to see them interact. someone is going 2 die

Also their facial features r funny too Micron legend screamer looks handsome and polite like a :) . Galaxy force screamer looks like he would drop kick a baby and then breakdance on its corpse. His lips are so big and luscious because thats where he keeps all his malice.

Im not saying Micron Legend Starscream is an angel who has done no wrong but he sure seems like it when you compare him to Galaxy force starscream😭i might draw them interacting itd be funny

[rowiewritesstuff]

TFP/RID2015 Yandere Soundwave X Reader

TW: Death, Gore, Violence, Kidnapping, Mind Break

Pretty fucked up tbh

Bumblebee was your guardian. One day on a mission, Soundwave snatched you up. Apparently, he’d been watching you for a while- he found you interesting for whatever reason.

Time passed. Everyday, you hoped for rescue. Surely they’d find the ship and find you, right? 

You were trapped on the Nemesis for a year. You didn’t know that, however. On a ship like this one, time seemed to phase together. Soundwave kept you with him 24/7. Eating, sleeping, reading- showering. No matter where you went, you’d be under surveillance. It was so uncomfortable, and for a long time you tried to avoid the cameras. Everytime you did, Soundwave would just place more. Eventually, you gave up. 

There were times you’d try to escape. Soundwave didn’t like that much. The first time, he squeezed you slightly in warning. He clipped together audio clips that gave you a warning you wouldn’t forget.

The second time you attempted to escape, he broke your leg. The blank visor he wore stared into your face as he watched your pained expression, making sure to record every second of it. He made sure to take you to Knockout right after, though. 

The third attempt to escape was your last. You were far too terrified and traumatized to attempt again after that. Soundwave was out on a mission, and you decided to sneak out of the room. The Vehicons somehow missed you, and you ran through the open groundbridge. 

There you saw your friends- the Autobots. “Arcee!” You shouted at her. You realize your mistake a moment after as many Decepticons and Autobots alike turned to you. As soon as you saw Soundwave’s visor looking at you, you knew you were in for it. 

He pointed to the ground bridge behind you- he was giving you an out. A last chance or else you’d be punished. You knew what you should have done. The route that would have saved you a lot of pain down the line. You did the opposite of what your brain told you to do, however, and ran to the nearest Autobot- Wheeljack.

Wheeljack quickly scooped you up in his servos and transformed into vehicle mode. Within seconds you both were retreating into the tall trees. “Wheeljack to base, open a bridge! Now!” 

Something huge landed on the ground in front of Wheeljack, making him swerve into a tree. You groaned as your head slammed into the window. Wheeljack transformed and threw you to the side and you realized just what the object was.

You looked on in fear as Soundwave began fighting Wheeljack. It was brutal. Energon was leaking from both of them, but eventually Soundwave overpowered the wrecker. Soundwave’s pede stood on his head, and he gazed over at you. He was making sure you were watching. A digit was pointed in your direction, and then back to Wheeljack. He was telling you that it was your fault, without speaking. You did this to Wheeljack.

“Kid…” Energon leaked from Wheeljack’s intake. “Run. Run… now.” 

Your legs shook as you stood there, back pressed into a tree. Soundwave looked at you to see what you’d do. Your legs moved slowly, as if to run. Soundwave then electrocuted Wheeljack. 

Wheeljack’s screams of pain were enough to make you run up to Soundwave and try (uselessly) to push him off. “Please, Soundwave! I-I’m sorry! I won’t run again!” 

Soundwave picked you up with one tentacle and pointed again to Wheeljack. He wanted you to watch, and if you didn’t your punishment would be worse. You were forced to watch as Soundwave ripped off Wheeljack’s arms. Nothing could be heard but screaming and metal crunching. Wheeljack’s screams would haunt you for the rest of your life. 

When Soundwave was finished, Wheeljack was limbless. Energon leaked freely from his frame. All you could get out at the sight was whimpers. You were shaking in fear and your throat was raw from the screams you’d let out previously. 

Soundwave left Wheeljack’s body on the ground and opened a bridge. Right as you were being taken through, you managed to whisper out an apology to the beaten mech. Somehow, Wheeljack managed to nod weakly at you. He was trying to reassure you that it wasn’t your fault- but you knew it was.

After that day, you never tried to escape. Your life as you knew it was gone. There was nothing but fear and numbness. 

Soon enough, the Autobots raided the ship. Miko was in the Apex Armor and she grabbed you up from Soundwave. When he tried to grab you back, another groundbridge opened. He was gone. 

The Autobots didn’t stay very long after that. Everyone (except Ratchet) left to go back to the now revived Cybertron. You tried to go back to normal life, but it was so hard. The trauma you faced at Soundwave’s hand left you damaged. Ratchet chose to watch over you. He didn’t trust that you’d be fine by yourself. 

Two years down the line you were still traumatized, but through therapy and medication you managed to become a somewhat functional member of society. 

While you wanted to keep in touch with Ratchet, you knew that you couldn’t stay in Jasper anymore. There were too many memories there- so you packed up your bags and moved to Crown City, Virginia. 

You started up a small repair business- cars, toasters, washing machines- if it was tech you would fix it. After time with Soundwave, you knew how to deal with things like that. 

With a need for a more rare spring for an older vending machine, you made your way to the second biggest scrapyard in the area- Denny’s Scrapyard. The door was open, so you figured it was fine to walk right in. 

When you entered, you saw three Cybertronians. Your eyebrows furrowed and you backed away in fear until you saw their insignia. You sighed. 

“Citizen! We are new construction bots. This area is unstable, please ev-”

“Mhm. Okay. You’re the weirdest Autobots I’ve met. Anyway, have you seen the owner of this scrapyard?” They all looked at you with shock. Suddenly a familiar black and yellow bot came around the corner. “Bumblebee?” 

Bumblebee quickly looked down at you. A small look of sadness covered his faceplates as he kneels before you. “Hey, Y/N. It’s been a while. Are you… doing okay?” 

You just nod slowly, backing up a bit. “Yeah. I’m fine, Bee’. You?” 

Before he could answer the blue and white bot spoke up. “Lieutenant, do you know them?” 

Bumblebee nods. “They were part of the original Team Prime.” He looked at you. “This is Strongarm.”

“It’s good to meet someone who was on the team!” Strongarm quickly moved over to you. “What was it like?” You quickly backed away and whimpered, trying to make yourself seem smaller. She took another step forward confused. “What’s wrong? Are you injured? Did I do something?”

“Strongarm! Back up!” Bumblebee pushed her back. “They’ve been through a lot, be gentle with them. 

Strongarm looked guilty, but you assured her it was okay. As time went on, you frequented the scrapyard. You helped Fixit here and there with whatever he’d need, and even patched up minor injuries on the bots. You began to feel more comfortable with the rest of them, making friends for the first time in a long time. With your business booming, and you were doing great. On your calls with Ratchet, he’ll comment on how much you were improving. He was so proud of you that you came out of your shell more. 

 Then it happened. There was an issue with the groundbridge. Two of them appeared where there should have been one, and everyone started panicking. You ran over to try and fix the issue when a jet emerged.

“No, it can’t be.” Bumblebee squinted as he looked closer. 

The jet spun into the sky and landed on the ground. Tentacles emerged from his back as he picked up Grimlock and Strongarm, slamming the two together. 

Bumblebee pushed us all towards the various shelves. “Take Fixit and go hide in the stacks!” While the others ran to hide, you were on your knees frozen to your spot. Flashbacks of what happened in the past came back to you all at once- you couldn’t let it happen again.

Soundwave was quick to notice you. He felt his heart skip a beat. After all this time, he’d finally found you. There was no way he was going to let you go. He deployed Laserbeak to knock Bumblebee out.

Grimlock jumped to attack him, throwing punch after punch on the silent mech. Grimlock was quickly knocked unconscious with Soundwave’s electricity, and Strongarm soon followed thanks to Laserbeak’s skillful distraction. 

Bumblebee was the only one to be thrown into the shadowzone as it soon collapsed after. Soundwave laid his eyes back on you. He was so proud of you- you didn’t try to run away. You just sat there, waiting for him to reclaim you. 

Soundwave gently picked you up into his claws. He rested his visor on your head. This was the first contact he’s had with you in years. You had no idea how much he missed you. 

Denny suddenly came running out of the stacks with a gun raised up. “Let them go!” He yelled at the con’.

Soundwave aimed his weapon at Denny and you shouted. “No!” Soundwave titled his head at you. “Please! Let’s go. I don’t want to be here anymore with them. It will just be me a-and you. Okay?” 

Soundwave didn’t need you to repeat that as he transformed around you, flying away from the base at top speeds. He did, however, mark down the coordinates in case he needed them for future use. 

Soundwave was so happy to have you back. He was never letting you go again- no matter what he had to do. 

[krytus]

cyberverse taking whatever elements it wants from all previous continuities:

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

H-hello so uhh, top 10 boyos who are great cooks, like uhh they'll make you dinner from scratch and its good, really good food. If that's oke, thank you ❤❤❤

*SMACKS PALMS AGAINST THE TABLE* NOW THIS IS A FUCKING ASK. LET’S GO BITCH.

tfp Breakdown. The best fucking cook you will ever goddamn see. Breakdown knew nothing about cooking, until he realized that food brings people together. Then he picked some stuff online, and now, dudes fucking Gordon Ramsey in this bitch. He loves making BIG portions of stuff, and loves working with meat. You get him a nice roast, a few potatoes and onions? He can feed the entire ship easily. Not to mention he’s quite the baker boy, so he indulges his husband when his 2am chocolate cake cravings hit.

rid2015 Wildbreak. Not AS good as his dad, but he’s a competent boy. He loves making mushroom risotto, and hand pies. Breakdown is so proud of his ass, and they have little cook offs on a daily basis.

Rid2015 Thunderhoof. Not only does he look good while doing it, but boy makes some FINE Italian food. Pizzas, raviolis, eggplant parms, lasagna, and his peak masterpiece; spaghetti and meatballs. Dude makes the best meatballs, makes the sweetest tomato sauce, all with a giant ass thing of garlic bread. Seriously, you will never run out of bread, or wine. For dessert, his go to is affogato, but if he gives a shit about you, he’ll go the extra mile and make the best goddamn tiramisu you've ever fucking had. Dude and coffee and go hand and hand tbh.

Rescue bots Hightide. He’s no five star chef, but he knows how to make simple fish dishes (his favorite being clam chowder), and how to make a good, hearty bread. Its a bit salty, but you can’t help but ask for seconds. His food is meant to warm those he rescues, and it does a fair job.

tfa Blitzwing. No master, but he knows his way around the kitchen. Icy, at least. Random keeps eating the counter top, Hothead is pissed that he can’t fucking find the salt- it’s a mess. When Icy is around long enough though, he makes a damn good meat stuffed pumpkin, and can even make a nice egg pudding (he makes a decent german chocolate cake, but that’s way more Breakdown’s speed).

MTMTE Impactor. Odd choice, I know. But dude knows how to make shit ingredients taste good. You got some kinda old noodles? Congrats, you got yourself a fat plate of carbonara, greasy and delicious. He ain’t fancy, but he’s the best for you broke bitches with a low stock.

G1 Ironhide. Big portions, big calories with this cowboy. You can’t leave his place without a full belly. Biscuits and gravy, eggs, hashbrowns, porkchops, fried chicken- and that’s just breakfast. It’s nice, hearty, and you can ask for as many helpings as you’d like. He will not stop. His food is endless. You will go home with leftovers for like a week. Even a pudding pie for dessert.

tfa Prowl. He’s actually a vegetarian! He likes making clean, easy to eat food, like veggie rice balls (or doughnuts), carrot stew, honey garlic tofu on a bed of steamed veggies, and for dessert? A honey baked apple, topped with mix nuts and whipped cream. His food is very good, and clean. He even makes his own trail mix for when he goes on nature walks (its full of roasted nuts, dried fruits, and dark chocolate bits), and will happily share if you ask him for some.

Tfp Dreadwing. He was the main cook in the household, and as such, he can feed others, should it be needed of him. He likes making Salmon Meuniere, chicken curry, and honey glazed beef strips. All of his food comes with a bed of white rice. His favorite thing to make though? Those cute little wagashi treats. They’re often made of bean paste, and they go lovely with his daily cups of tea. He also makes them very pretty and ornate. 

Cyberverse Soundwave. He mainly learned now to cook because Hot Rod absolutely fucking can’t. He’s the more casual cook on this list, preferring stuff you can set and forget. Stuff like Salisbury steak and mashed potatoes, roasted chickens, mac and cheese, pot roast- pretty much anything you can stick in a crock pot, and have dinner ready for when he comes back from work. When he makes desserts, he loves making either cookies, or swiss rolls, depending how much time he has. He loves ube and pumpkin flavors.

[xxsdelphia]

transformers or critical role (or both)

from this post. transformers first, critical role under the cut, which will be super fun because i don’t remember much from the 20 episodes of campaign 2 i watched a year ago

transformers

blorbo: this one changes often since there’s so many. all-time favorite bot is jazz, he’s so likeable! tfa jazz is my favorite jazz since like other tfa bots his archetype’s traits are turned up to 11, so it makes him a really enjoyable guy to watch even if he doesn’t say a word. mtmte brainstorm might be my favorite tf ever, though, he’s so entertaining but there’s a lot of thought into him. he can truly do it all. i’d love to get inspiration for a brainstorm angst train one day, just as much as i want to write him getting overly excited about studying some geek organic shit

scrunkly: tfa optimus tfa optimus tfa optimus. holy SHIT tfa optimus. he is my son and my boyfriend and my beloved husband of millions of stellarcycles and my best friend and every day i wake up and think god fucking bless this timeline for giving us david kaye tfa oppy. i want to build him a giant basketball court

scrimblo bimblo: only the real ones know my girl quickshadow. honestly? probably? second favorite female transformer. quickshadow is soooo clean. she wasn’t my gay awakening, but she was damn close to it, i think the second moment of gay for me ever? the point is she is THE girlboss and i’d die for her any day of the week

glup shitto: oh you guys are gonna love the knights of unicron

poor little meow meow: TFA SENTINEL PRIME. he’s one of my favorite transformers characters and it’s exactly why everyone else hates him. did you know? i am one of the few people that follows #tfa sentinel prime. people tag him in content where they just need someone to be a dick, but it’s ooc and that makes me sad. i love him. if you would have him be a dick as he is in canon why not in an in-character way? i love him. he’s insufferable and horrible and, quite frankly, has no redeeming qualities, and isn’t that why he’s so perfect? i love him. he was the first canon tf i learned how to draw because i loved him, and if i made a mistake, then it wouldn’t even be an issue because he sucks so bad. when #revivetfa was a thing i remember people saying he would be a great trump allegory. he is actually the worst. i want nothing more than to sling him into the atmosphere and ride on his shoulder and teach him how to use a gps and learn about his trauma and fix him and make him worse and do nothing as i watch him go about his life taking notes the entire time, like a bug to study, like an alien to my planet, a speedrunner at AGDQ for thousands of people to watch live.

horse plinko: i had this fanfic that i never published nor finished about redeeming tfp starscream and i want to see him wrenched. i want to see him eviscerated. the fic had a bunch of It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better moments in it where i just kept letting him get injured, have trust issues, a memory of some of megatron’s abuse, i want to keep bending his little evil arm backwards against the joint until it dislodges and becomes good

eeby deeby: hm. strongarm and sideswipe. finally, a straight tf ship i could get behind and the writers did nothing. i love the rid2015 team but hate how little development they got, the writing was shit bro. i think it’d be especially fun to send sideswipe in alone in the elevator

critical role

blorbo: you guys ever watch brian david gilbert? the live brian david gilbert? when he was doing unraveled? the live unraveled show? the one where he went “TERRY! OH TEEERRR-RRRRERERERE, EE-EE-EE-EEEEEEE-EEEEYYYY” at the end? imagine that but instead of terry it’s caleb. that’s what my mind looks like whenever someone says campaign 2

scrunkly: kirkirikirkirkirkirkir kri!!! kiri baby! kiri so little and very sweet. the part when she (matt) perfectly imitated fjord (travis) fucking SENT me, i had to rewind so many times.

scrimblo bimblo: the weird sad albino looking carriage kid from the legend of vox machina. the one that drove the briarwoods around? it might just be because he reminds me of grave keeper identityfive but he had such a cool, distinct design, even if that mf got yeeted and skeeted so fast. i want good things for him! for him though. not society. whatever he decides to do with the good fortune in his life, that’s up to him. i will watch him fail and succeed and cause pain and heal.

glup shitto: pumat sol? pumat sol! he’s one of the few npcs i remember from the time i tried to eat through the actual podcast. comedy gold, funny guys pumal sol. hey, if anyone out there is writing a modern au crit role fanfic? pumat and the sols better be working at five guys together

poor little meow meow: the briarwoods did nothing wrong actually and i am also biromantic

horse plinko: ohhh percy. percy percy percy percy percy. percival. ohh i do not remember the last time i’ve wanted to see a character go so deep off the end. i want percy to snap. i want him deranged. i want him in a dragula cold open. i want him imprisoned. i want him to kill for the sake of blood, become a serial killer, and run from the fbi with the red still on his hands and against the gun. i want him to play town of salem. i want him to play among us. i want him broken and battered and shattered into a million little pieces of a man and with something very very very important missing from his brain. i would like to perform open heart surgery on him. i would like him to drop his ice cream. oh how deeply i want to break him, private tucker

eeby deeby: see above

[autobot-ratchet]

alright, now that Cyberverse is properly over I can say this definitively

man fuck that shit they did with Drift lmAO like I held out hope that maybe he’d come back or it would be explained how/why he pretended to be an autobot or even just be mentioned one time but no, they really did just abruptly use him for a bad plot twist for the sole reason of getting Hot Rod into the toxic energon pit, like they really threw away all of his potential as a character just to give Roddy a new paint job huh, there was really no other way to get him into that pit, we HAD to throw him under the bus for this

like honest to god??? Drift should have been there in place of Dead End. both Roddy and Drift should have crawled out of the energon pit and then had to work together to defeat the quintessons despite the betrayal and murder attempt hanging over their heads, especially with the part where Dead End fucks off with Megatron into the multiverse, like not that Dead End was a useless character or didn’t deserve to be in the show or anything like that, but that would’ve been a perfect thing for Drift to do if he was indeed so loyal to Megatron but no. 

he fucking dies and literally no one mentions him even one time ever again because he was that unimportant to the plot or even to any of the characters, even all of the brand new one-off characters got more character development and dialogue than Drift, fucking Wildwheel’s betrayal had more weight to it than Drift’s because we got literally any coherent backstory on him, I still can’t believe NOBODY mentions him ONCE, not even when they WENT BACK TO THE PLACE HE DIED, not even a comment about “that traitor” from Hot Rod when he was talking about his experience there, LITERALLY nothing he meant nothing

nobody had anything to say about him because nobody knew that guy because there was no point in the show where the audience got to know him either, like for someone whose introduction to tfs is cyberverse, there is absolutely no fucking reason for them to care about Drift or his betrayal at all because he didn’t get ANY character development at all, he’s literally just a generic, but prettier. like, I care because I know Drift from IDW, I care on a meta level because I was excited for his first appearance with his original design instead of the Bayverse one or a Bayverse inspired one like in RiD2015 and I’m pissed as hell that I got so excited over scraps of him throughout seasons one and two just for them to do one (1) thing with Drift’s character and then immediately kill him off and never mention him again (shoutouts to allegiences being thrown out the window like two episodes later, too, like they really had him die for the decepticon cause JUST before it wouldn’t have mattered anymore anyway)

and it’s even more frustrating and baffling because Cyberverse is a good fuckin show!!!! it’s so good and fun!!!!! everything was tied together wonderfully and the plot made sense and all the characters were highly enjoyable, literally except for Drift lmAO it’s JUST him, he is the ONLY thing they fucked up but they fucked him up SO BAD that it really did, personally, sour the whole show for me. like it’s so close to being a 5/5 but that shit with Drift was so bad I gotta knock it down to 4/5

and like, I understand that that’s just me, again, for someone else who’s never even heard of Drift before, that scene is just kind of like “oh okay, well I guess that happened. anyway on with the plot” but I spent so long being excited over his one (1) speaking like and three (3) appearances and wondering how his personality was going to be and what he was going to do for the story and then the answer was he has no personality aside from being Evil™ and he dies pointlessly lmAO so I’m pissed!!!!!!!! that was some objectively bad writing and again, it sucks even more because the rest of the series is written great! it’s literally just Drift! but I cared so much about Drift that this really hurts my fuckin feelings!

all in all, 4/5 show. only my favorite character got fucked over by bad writing. 4/5. rEMEMBER TO LIKE, COMMENT, AND SUBSCRI

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

Top 10 Worst Cooks? Obviously Guyhawk, but otherwise I have no clue

oh. oh bitch. you dunno what you’re fucking in for.

Tfp Airachnid. She tries, she really does, but unless it’s letting meat roast by a fire, she cannot cook. Her tea comes out like jelly, her cookies are burnt outside but raw af on the inside, her turkey meat comes out in fucking ashes, and you swore you saw her oatmeal breathe once. I actually did a roleplay where she was with Bulkhead, and he forced himself to eat her food to not hurt her feelings. I put that man through some shit.

tfa Bumblebee. You told him to peel half a bag of potatoes for dinner. He peeled half of every potato in the bag. He is not allowed to use the oven, and he needs to be supervised if he’s using the microwave. He turns his shit up too high so it fucking burns, and he’s too impatient to read through all the instructions.

tfp Megatron. Unless it’s space crack, dude can’t cook jack fucking shit. He tried making scrambled eggs in the oven, nearly sent the entire ship aflame. He just has no fucking clue what he’s doing.

Cyberverse Hot Rod. The most he can do is hot pockets and frozen lasagnas. He doesn’t know how to cook shit, but at the very least he’s willing to try to learn. Responsible for the death of thousands of pancakes.

Cyberverse Dead end. Him cooking is a lot of “The fuck is that?” “The fuck is this?” and “Fuck this shit”. He has no patience to cook, he’d rather eat shit straight from the box than put in any actual effort. Possibly the laziest cook on this list.

tfp Knockout. It isn’t that he’s inept in the kitchen, it’s just that he is so focused on his looks the whole time, making him forget what he was doing. He gets frustrated that nothing is coming out right, so he asks Breakdown if he can pretty please make dinner. Though by his logic, him asking Breakdown to cook IS cooking, so he’s totally five stars.

RID2015 Drift. I know, weird choice. Hear me out here. Dude knows his way around a battlefield, but when shit surprises him, he gets REALLY thrown off balance, and decides cooking is beneath him. As such, his boys make him his meals every night.

tfp Wheeljack (This series has so many gays that can’t fucking cook) Dude should not be allowed near ANY fucking flames. No oven, no microwave, don’t even give him a fucking easy bake oven. Something will blow up, a mess will be made, and Ratchet will have to fucking clean it up.

Beast wars Inferno. He thinks everything needs to be flambéed. Do I need to make it anymore clear???

 G1 Galvatron. He get’s ONE eggshell in the bowl and he’s fucking done. He’s flipping the table, he’s smashing windows, he’s throwing bowls- just let Cyclonus make dinner for gods sake. 

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

I don’t know if you’re alright with doing rankings atm so you can do this whenever (or never! That’s fine too!) but could you rank the 5 best and 5 worst bottoms?

Like who’s the most attractive in bed while bottoming vs who’s the most annoying in bed while bottoming.

(Sorry if this ask is confusing I just love your rankings!)

Last ask of the day, let’s give it a fucking go!

Best!!;

Tfp Megatron. Tbh any Megatron works as a bottom, but this one. This one likes the thrill of a good battle, but he lets himself get hit so often, you can tell he likes it. Dude would let you fuck him in his ass if you smacked his face and called him a whore. He puts on quite the show tbh, and with a bust that big? Dude looks good getting fucked.

Armada Demolisher. So many tf characters with huge titties are bottoms, it’s wild, but this one is the most bottom of the bottoms. He’s let you tit fuck into oblivion, he’d swallow your loads, clean you both up, AND say thank you when all is said and done. Not to mention he gets flustered so easily, he’s one of the more cuter bottoms out there (fun fact, i actually wrote a fic on this a long time ago. Only wrote like one chapter where he gets fucked by scavenger and some minicons, but i’ll link it if anyone is curious).

Rid2001 Hellbat. Do I really need to say more? Dude plops himself into any dudes lap, whispers in their ear, and he has them eating out of his palm. He’s a whore. Granted, he clearly wants something from you, but he will drain a bitch, try him.

Rid2015 Quillfire. He’s so dumb, so cute, you can tell he lets himself get fucked good when he finally lets himself get a break. Granted he screeches like a bat out of hell, but it’s cute in a way. Plus? Nails like that? Dude scratches like you wouldn’t believe.

tfa Bumblebee. Listen, maybe it’s because I’m currently writing him a fic, but he’s a fun little bottom. He’s got a smart mouth, he likes to play some tricks on his dom, and he can be bent each and everywhere. Not Prowl levels nimble, but I’ve seen that mech move, he can accommodate some spike sizes.

worst!!;

tfa Dirt boss. You look at that and tell me you’d be pleased to fuck it. Dude looks like when he nuts, he’d sound like a constipated beaver. Plus he’s just fucking ugly.

Rid2015 Clampdown. Don’t you fuck the goddamn clam. He can only GET fucked, but do not do this. It’s illegal, and it WILL send you right to hell. He’s so oddly shaped, his voice is awful, and him nutting is nightmare fuel.

Tfp Starscream. It’s not that he’s ugly as a bottom, he just. Doesn’t stop complaining. “do it harder” “too hard” “too fast” “hurry it up” the entire time, all with quite the scowl. Tbh, you’d be better off letting him ride you, save yourself the headache.

Armada Blurr. Good fucking luck trying to get on top of that shit. He’s a lot like Starscream, only he openly tells you ‘you’re so shit at this’. Granted, he’s one of the prettier one on the lists, but given how unsatisfied he is, you gotta really think; is it worth it? (not to mention he’s not a generous lover. Once he’s done, so are you, bitch).

G1 Tracks. Is he a pretty boy? yes. Is he flexible with some FINE wings? yes. But he wants to be worshipped. Take him out to a fancy place to eat, take him out to get some new paints. THEN let him get an hour shower, then let him touch himself up again. By the time you get to finally fuck his diva ass, he says nothing but warnings of his wings and paint. He’s such a priss, he can only do missionary, and even then, you still get warnings of being careful with him.

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

Transformers RID2015 final review!!;

Oh boy. This was a long time coming. Let's go over what I gotta say about this show!

*pls note all these are my opinions, and may contain swearing/spoilers.

Pros!!;

Some bad guy designs. Take for example bots like Thunderhoof or Stockade, who genuinely look SO good? (I particularly like the rusty nail cigar detail on Stockade, THAT was some good shit).

The voice acting, on the whole, was VERY good. Yes there were a few bots who shook me (like Ped, that shit made me spit out tea), but honestly? I was impressed for the most part. 

Sideswipe.

Minicons. No seriously, 97% of minicons in this show were ADORABLE! My only complaint is that they didn’t get more screen time, if anything.

 The whole ‘camouflage’ thing they did? SO good, SO creative. They did other such creative stuff like this, (recalibrating optics, Springload’s acid skin, alloy hives, Uv lights, etc. cool shit).

How they made so many decepticons look like animals. Call me a furry, but I honestly like transformers designed to be animals. Thunderhoof, Steeljaw, Saberhorn, Stockade, and Zizza are particularly ones I enjoy.

 Denny. I demand he be in the next dream daddy update immediately.

Bumblebee’s night off. Literally all of it.

The fact that NO bot is spared from stupidity/awkward moments. Decepticons, autobots, don’t matter, everyone’s fucking gay and stupid. Fucking great.

Bumblebee’s failed rallying cries. So cringy, and I feel like they REALLY signified his growth as a leader.

Battlemasks. Seriously, I LOVE how there’s more of them in this series. I just wished they had more, especially for the baddies. Bad guys deserve to look cool dammit. 

Sideswipe’s OBVIOUS crush on Jazz. Fuck outta here with that Sideblade shit.

'Guilty as charged'.Literally everything about it. The twists, the background, the fact that they MADE AN AUTOBOT A BAD GUY. So fucking good of an episode.

Cons!!;

The constant references to tfp. The nods to tfp are few and far in between, but they do exist. One would think this is a plus, and the idea itself is, but RID focuses on all the wrong things. Like in the episode, ‘History lessons’, they bring up the base, but never really delve into the history of it, choosing to focus on the bad guys.

The character design. This isn't for ALL of them, but this show has an awful habit of making some characters too big. Take for example, Optimus. His thickness works against him, as it removes the lack of details that made him so GORGEOUS in tfp.

The re colors/clones. I get it, reusing some assets saves money. But the colors tend to be just awful, and most designs are VERY hit and miss. Aka Airachnid.

Bringing up tfp again. Now I'm not going to be like ‘oh tfp was first= better’, because the first isn't always better. What I hate is the fact that RID sort of ignores tfp for the most part, despite being only FIVE years apart. I feel like if they made this a separate continuity or MUCH later time wise, this wouldnt annoy me so much.

Episodes are honestly 90% filler. Like armada, it's very gimmicky, using a LOT of episodes to sell toys. The plot of the show is really just ‘catch decepticons’, vs tfp, where the challenge changed in pretty much every episode.

Speaking of decepticons, I hated how they made so many. Don't get me wrong, I love variety, but I feel like the designs of these random baddies took up WAY too much time, especially to just have them thrown out after one appearance.

Thunderhoof. I know, queen of hoof thirst, saying this. Let me explain. I LOVE him, but like many decepticons in this series, he was more or less ignored. Don’t get me wrong, he was given more time compared to most, and that I appreciate, but they gave him SUCH a background of a mafia boss, only to just demote him for the sake of Steeljaw. I was just honestly offended that they didn't do more with him when they could've (though DAMN he was hot in Decepticon Island Part 2, and his introduction episode).

Characters do not progress very much. Strongarm and Sideswipe somewhat did, Bumblebee as well, but I wasn't truly believing a character grew up for the most part.

 Decepticon hunters. I just don’t understand them. At the beginning, they were neat tools, but combining them just suddenly made everyone way too OP. I don’t understand it, and I don’t really like it.

This brings me to the topic of weapons. In G1 they did the handheld weapons, and that worked, given it was G1, but this is canonically AFTER tfp, so removing those weapons doesn't make sense, and it’s honestly kinda fucking lame. This is a HUGE gripe for me tbh. It wasn’t even that they couldn't, bots like Fracture had built in blades and the like, so ultimately, what's the excuse?

 Octopunch and Clampdown. Kill them with fire. 

‘Even robots have nightmares’. Not the entire episode, just the fact that Chop shop’s moment of kindness in that episode wasn't really explored, and the missed opportunity there ACTUALLY upset me. Even bad guys deserve redemption.

Speaking of, I hate the fact that only Grimlock got redemption. Yes tfp also didn't have much luck in converting the baddies, but there were at least ATTEMPTS, and I feel like having those attempts turned the black white and sides onto a more gray area, and sort of showed the audience that no one was inherently BAD. If they had that in this series, I’d be MUCH more into this.

Minasaur. Was just such a waste of time. Decent design, but the character was shit. He apparently destroyed an actual solar system or some shit, and yet, he can't properly control his combined form for two seconds.

Stunticons. They were decent looking in design, I'll give them that, but they were wasted, and rushed. RID has enough bad guys that desperately needed attention, adding these new ones was a choice that really made this show a struggle to watch.

'Prisoners Principles'. The way they covered the legal rules of Prisoners wasn't too bad. What WAS bad was the normalized brutality of Clampdown. Now I hate the fuck, but he's a willing prisoner. Bots like Strongarm and Sideswipe willingly putting him in danger just REALLY seemed like boot kissing. Don't appreciate it.

The episode with Dropforge kinda made me realize something. That the whole situation with the government could've been covered a LOT sooner. If they were going to touch on it, at ALL, they should've done it properly. You could've literally scrapped the stunticons and replaced it with issues of Cybertron's justice system. It would have saved them money on voice actors, and the thought of collaboration between Cybertron and earth would've been GOOD shit. It would've been a good opportunity to bring in Dropforge, who was genuinely a cool character.

Ratchet meeting Optimus. Was so disappointing, so lackluster, and really, really undermined their relationship in tfp.

There was SO many musical talents for some fucking reason. Sideswipe, Jazz, Steeljaw, Thunderhoof- all VA's were singers, and they did NOTHING with that.

The way the council was handled. I couldn't remember a time where I've ever given less of a shit about their characters. You fucked up CYCLONUS. How the fuck you gonna ruin CYCLONUS.

There's a specific post talking about this shows villian problem (written by my buddy bae, give em a follow), and there's lots of points i agree with; https://baebeyza.tumblr.com/post/190875674229/robots-in-disguise-2015-and-the-villain-problem.

They also made this post that I think has some solid points; https://baebeyza.tumblr.com/post/621992774922797056/rid15-and-what-it-could-have-been-waited-foruys of the episode. 

So all in, this show is....okay. I've seen it twice now, and both times, they have something in common; they're exhausting to go through. Don't get me wrong, it has some good moments, really does. But on the whole, this show wastes a LOT of your time. I don't think it's too much to say that you could cut at least 30% of content, and STILL get to the plot. For a show, that's a LOT. This is a show you should definitely NOT start this franchise with. Treat yourself, watch TFP or TFA. Maybe even beast wars. Just...not this.

Final verdict: 6/10.