#nothing about their music is even really bad like sure the lyrics are dumb sometimes but thats not unique to them

[liinos]

My sisters are both so judgy about my music :( like I was listening to 1d earlier (which I do with headphones so not even like anyone else can hear it) and my sister was so condescending about it :( like cant I just have some fun theres nothing wrong with pop music it makes me never want to tell them anything I like ever

[flamingo-writes]

Okay so I heard you also write about dark themes (y/n has a stalker in this request certain parts don’t have to be described it can be as vague as you want it to be)

And I wanted to request a Draken x fem reader in which they broke up because she thinks he still has feelings for Emma and thinks he’s been cheating b/c he’s been really distant from her but in reality he really does love her yes he’s been thinking of Emma but now realizes his mistake, and one night as readers at home her stalker breaks in her house and forces himself on her but she tries to make an escape n call draken not realizing he’s coming over to try n talk with her but he realizes somethings wrong and comes in to save her after seeing her stalker have his way with her all he sees is red and almost kills the guy and when they get to the hospital they rekindle n get back together and draken promises to protect her from now on

Yes I do! Ah, I loved the amount if angst in this request, writing this was fun (I mean, not because of what happens, but because I enjoy writing complex emotions)

Pull Me Down — Draken x Reader

(Tittle inspired in the song How Not To Drown from Chvrches as the song helped me out a lot both lyrics and music wise to set a vibe while writing)

Word Count: 3.1K

Warnings: Non graphic depictions of rape (still somewhat described), stalking, violence, angst.

How long had it been? The last several days, maybe weeks, have all felt the same, looked the same...Has it been months now? Dull, empty, repetitive, sometimes feeling as if you weren’t awake at all and everything felt like a broken old tape, replaying the same greyscale routine with barely any sound, if anything, an annoying buzz in your ears. Barely any familiar faces remained in your life after you broke up with him. 

But, it was better this way, wasn’t it? Better being alone than being with the wrong people...wasn’t it? You were better off alone. 

Mitsuya had tried talking to you a couple of times. Possibly the only friend you had by this point, as everyone else seemed to fade away from your life as soon as you took him out of the equation. 

“You look skinnier” He pointed out as he held a paper bag in his hand. “Here” He said, stretching his hand, handing you the bag. “You need to eat” 

“What’s this?” You asked, trying to feign a smile as seeing Mitsuya hurt as much as seeing, hear or even think of Draken. After all, he had introduced you to Mitsuya. 

“Bento. I made it myself. Eat up” He said as he gave you a kind and warm smile, however, his eyes looked concerned. You knew he could look beyond your broken mask and see how you were not doing well. 

Barely sleeping, barely eating, you did the minimum effort in your classes in college, and avoided the street where his workshop was, as well as avoiding the places where he and his friends spent the most time in. However, Mitsuya always went out of his way to pay you a visit and check up on you. 

“Thanks…” You purred as you looked into his eyes. “I-I’ll...try…” 

“Hey, I’m worried about you” He said, his voice getting lower. “It’s been two months now...and you still look like shit” 

“Oh, shut up” You hissed annoyed as you crossed your arms. 

“It’s still affecting you” 

“You think?” You barked sarcastically as you raised an eyebrow. 

“Have you even been trying to get up on your feet? Or do you still want to lay at the bottom of your pit of misery?” Mitsuya said, hisnvoice getting slightly colder, as he hated seeing you too comfortable in your little pit of misery.

“Come on Mitsuya, I am...trying…” You growled. 

“Are you, really? I know you still love him, and I know you can’t let go of him…” his stare and voice softened as he saw the way your eyes got teary at his words.

You looked away, as a huge lump soon overtook your throat, making it hard to breath, to speak, even think. 

“What do you suggest I do, then?” Your voice broke at the end, as a few tears escaped your eyes, trying your best to keep your composure. 

“Talk to him” Mitsuya said calmly, as if it was the easiest thing to do. 

“Oh, fuck off” you laughed bitterly as turned around, ready to get back inside your apartment when Mitsuya held your arm gently. 

“I’m serious,” He said, whispering your name in a low voice. “Listen, don’t tell Draken I told you this, but he isn’t doing great either...He’s been overworking himself and avoiding talking about it even more than you are” He explained calmly as you looked at him. “Look, I get the reason why you broke up with him, but, can’t you see you’re still in love with him? Why break up with him if you were head over heels for him? And don’t bring up Emma, you know that’s bullshit” He said, perfectly reading your thoughts. 

“Are you done, Mitsuya?” you whispered, tears finally breaking free and falling down your cheeks as you moved your arm, and he let go of you.

“God, you’re just like him. If you talked about it, trust me, you’d feel even better...Go talk to him, stop being so stubborn” He said, staring at you, as you simply avoided looking at him as more and more tears welled in your eyes, blurring your sigh. 

--

“How did it go?” Mikey asked Mitsuya softly as they both looked at Draken too focused working on a bike. 

“God, for a second I thought it was going to be easier talking to her…” He replied in a low voice, slightly annoyed. 

“Kennchin wants to get back with her,” Mikey said looking at Mitsuya as he nodded softly. 

“Of course he does. She wants to as well, but she’s being stubborn…” Mitsuya said calmly. “Did he say something?”

“I asked him about her, he changed the topic right away, then I asked about Emma, he stayed silent...He still feels somewhat guilty for what happened to her, and apologized to me about ending things with her...He’s over Emma...But as soon as I even mention her name, he closes his fist and his knuckles turn white, he looks away, and changes the topic…He didn’t tell me, but I know he misses her...” Mikey explained as he looked at Draken.

Truth was, neither of them saw Draken like that before he met you. He was the calm, collected and always analyzing guy. He never acted impulsively, relying on his guts alone, he always had a plan. But when it came about you? You were his weakness. He acted without thinking when it came to you, he was spontaneous, and unpredictable. But only when he was with you. 

“Kennchin, Mitsuya’s here…” Mikey said standing up from his seat and walking towards him and the bike. “Let’s go grab lunch, yes?” 

“Almost done…” Draken answered as he was cleaning the pieces he had lying on the ground. 

--

After Draken was done, the three of them headed to a ramen place and had lunch. Mitsuya wanted to bring up the situation but found it hard. He didn’t want to upset Draken, but knew he was hurting as much as you were. Mitsuya’d been torn by the breakup of both his friends. He struggled with having to split his free time and be around both of them, since they both needed a friend more than ever. But he didn't want that to end. Especially Since he knew both sides of the story. And it all looked like a dumb break up that wasn't supposed to happen in the first place. 

“You went to her place earlier, didn’t you?” Draken asked out of the blue. 

“How did you…”

“You smell like her” He said cutting him off. 

Mitsuya looked at his jacket and grabbed the neck of it and smelled the fabric. After he had called you stubborn and that you reminded him of Draken, you broke down crying. He hugged you and you clung to him for your dear life. He looked at Draken as he stared blankly at his food, his hand shaking lightly. 

“Kennchin” Mikey began as he looked at him, noticing the way Draken had his jaw clenched at his eyes looked hollow. 

"You go often to see her, don't you? I can tell when you do...you always end up smelling like her…" 

"I check up on her every now and then...No-nothing happens, though...I just make sure she's fine…" Mitsuya explained, as he realized how bad it looked that he was smelling like her every time he went to see her. 

"I know...she's not like that...and I know you wouldn't mess with her either...I'm not mad at you" He said softly, as Mitsuya noticed what Mikey had said earlier. Draken was gripping his chop sticks too hard, his knuckles white. 

"What are you mad at, then?" Mikey broke the uncomfortable silence.

“I’ll go talk to her” Draken said as he continued eating. 

“A-are you?” Mitsuya stuttered.

“I’m tired of dreaming of her every night, and food always tasting like shit, I'm…" he stopped softly. "Dammit, I miss her…" he said letting go of his chops ticks and spoon and staring blankly at his barely touched ramen. "I really really do…" 

"When will you go talk to her?" Mikey asked. 

"Tonight" 

--

The night was quite cool, but the last days had been a torture with the awful heat. With all of your windows open, you were scrolling through your phone, not doing anything in particular. You looked at the bento boxes piled up messily waiting to be washed and returned to Mitsuya. You dreaded washing the dishes, as you grabbed your cup of coffee and gave it a sip. 

A shadow moving through the window caught your attention as you put your phone down and looked out into the backyard. The darkness swallowed the edge of your backyard, looking creepier than ever before as you wondered if it had been a raccoon or a cat. 

As Draken made his way to your place, he kept going on over what to say to you. He had a pretty vague idea of what to say. But where would he start? An apology? Straight out telling her he misses her? 

His thoughts were cut shirt when his phone began ringing in the pocket of his hoodie. He pulled his phone out, seeing your name shining in the screen. His heart skipped a beat as an unexplained happiness washed over him. He picked up almost immediately. 

"Hey, I was just about to call yo—"

"Ken, please help" A hideous whisper soon made his blood turn cold as your cry for help suddenly made his world spin far too fast for his liking. 

"Whats wrong?" He asked.

You soon broke down crying as he tried comforting you. 

"I'm so, so sorry, I didn't know who else to call...and you're in my speed dial…" you sobbed in a low voice. 

"Y/N, tell me, what's wrong? Are you alright?" He asked, his voice getting lower as his heart was beating strong in his head, almost giving him a headache. 

"Someone broke into my house, Ken. Please, I'm scared" you sobbed as his heart dropped to his stomach at the idea of you being in danger. 

"Shit. Okay, I'll call the police. Don't hang up, I'll be back with you as soon as I contact thr police" 

He soon started working on it. He put you on hold as he called the emergency number and explained the situation. He gave them your address as well as his name out of protocol. Once the person in the other end assured him the police were on his way, he quickly returned to his call with you. 

The horror he felt earlier was nothing compared to what he was about to experience. His heart stopped, his blood froze, he felt paralyzed by the sounds on the other end of the call, as he could only imagine what was happening. 

You were crying and gasping painfully, a rhythmic thud noise going over and over followed by the grunts of a male voice. Commanding you to be quiet and cooperate or else it'll hurt worse. 

Draken's mind went numb, and suddenly, everything he could see was red. He picked up quickly on what was going on, as the biggest feeling of impotence rushed through his body, warming up his blood. And soon, he was sprinting as fast as he could towards your place. 

Draken walked snuck into your backyard, his first instinct to sneak in and beat the shit of the intruder. However, he had no idea what he was about to walk into. 

The backyard door lead to the kitchen and as he stood on the other side of the glass sliding door, he saw it. His heart stopped and suddenly his heart was beating fast, his blood boiling, his stomach turned painfully as his ears began buzzing loudly. 

The way he was forcing on to you. The intruder had you leaning over the table, practically crushing you against it. Your face washed with horror, tears streaming down your eyes as you cried and whimpered useless pleads for him to leave you alone. The aggressive way in which he was pushing, torturing you as his eyes stared hungrily at you like a wild animal. Watching some random guy getting his way with the woman he loved made something in him snap.

Draken's world crumbled down the moment you spotted him from the other side of the door. Your eyes, hopeless, met him. As the pain in your face permeated into his own body

"Help me" you mouthed. 

He didn't hear you, but he could clearly read your lips. In a split of a second his heart was beating hard. 

Without realizing it, he sprinted towards the door, sliding it open and in a swift move, as your attacker looked up, Draken hit him on the neck with his forearm. 

Pushing him to the ground, your stalker fell on his bum as he coughed loudly. Draken didn't waste any time as he kicked him on the crotch and sat on top of him, beating his face over and over. The buzz still loud in his head as he hit him repeatedly. His anger driving him on and on as he couldn't think.

You slid to the floor, breaking down crying as you felt your legs and hips sore. Your mind was blank, as the recent memories kept rushing into your mind as you cried and sobbed, shaking. 

Your eyes slowly scanned the kitchen as they finally landed on Draken. He looked possessed as he kept beating the shit out of your stalker. 

"Ke-Ken…" you sobbed. 

It worked like an automatic button. Draken, upon hearing your voice, stopped at once. He got off your attacker and rushed towards you. He knelt by your side and hugged you tightly. Clinging to him, you cried out loudly. He squeezed you against him, in an attempt to comfort you as he ran his hand through your hair. 

As he pulled back from you, he looked at you. Your clothes torn, your shorts pooled by your ankles. And bruises. Many bruises all over your legs, arms, even your neck. 

Draken's eyes got tearful as seeing you in such a state. It pained him. How could he let something like this happen to you? He took off his hoodie and wrapped it around your shoulders. He kissed your forehead as your breath hitched.

"It's okay, baby" he whispered. "I'm here…" 

"Ple-please don't leave…" you sobbed, your shaky hand tugging on his white shirt as he looked at you. 

"I won't" he reassured you, as red and blue lights blinked from the window. 

The police kicked the door open and quickly spread around the house searching for anyone. Two officers walked inside the kitchen and saw the entire scene.  

--

Draken always hated hospitals. The wide white, silent, and odd smell of the waiting room. He disliked every bit of it. Even more now. As he was desperately waiting for any sign from you. He looked desperately at every doctor and nurse who walked out, hoping that any of you knew anything about you. 

After a nurse walked out, Draken quickly rushed to her side asking her about you. The nursed told him he could go inside and before she could say anything else, he was already in there, as his eyes desperately looked for you. 

He saw a doctor talking to you as you nodded. Your eyes still red, and your stare dissociated as you simply nodded like a broken robot. Draken rushed to your side, as he bowed politely to the doctor. 

"Ah, you're the boyfriend" he doctor said, as your first reaction was to cling to Draken and sob softly. 

Draken hugged you tightly, one of his hands going to your hair. He looked at the doctor without saying anything. 

"None of her injuries are critical. We will be running a few tests over the next few days to make sure she is alright with no STD's his attacker might have. She'll be prescribed a couple of medications for preventing measures only as well as some pain killers" 

Draken nodded as he kissed the top of your head. 

"May I have a word with you, sir?" Draken nodded at the doctor's request.

"I'll go talk to the doctor, love...I'll be back in a bit, yes?" He purred softly as your grip on his clothes tightened and pulled him closer as he tried to break the hug. "Hey, it'll be quick, okay? After I return, I'll stay with you for as long as you want, okay? I won't go anywhere without you…" he purred softly as he kissed your forehead. 

You nodded reluctantly as you let him go. He grabbed one of your hands and kissed her hand before going out of the ER with the doctor. 

"I'm so sorry about what happened" The Doctor began as Draken limited to look at him with a cold stare. "This is a tough situation. Not only on the physical aspect of it. These things take a huge toll in the victim, I suggest you contact a specialist that can help you two deal with what happened…" 

"We will" Draken answered softly as he felt his heart squeezing as the memories of seeing your stalker on top of you. 

"Its not necessary for her to stay over the night. But I'd like to see her tomorrow and three days from now as well, just to make sure everything is well and to keep running tests…" 

Draken nodded as he bowed once more thanking the doctor before heading back inside the ER towards your bed. 

His eyes teared up immediately at the sight of you. He approached you and slowly cupped your face in his big hands and brought you closer, kissing your forehead. 

"I'm so, so sorry, babe" he sobbed and pressed his forehead against yours. "This shouldn't have happened…I wasn't there to protect you" he whispered bitterly, mad at himself even when he, objectively, knew it wasn't his fault. His mind was desperately looking for someone to blame. 

"Ken" you cried softly as you wrapped your arms around him, pulling him closer as he hugged you back. "Please don't leave. I'm scared…" 

"I won't, princess. I'll stay by your side. I'll keep you safe" he said as he pulled back slowly. "Let's go home…" he purred as you shook your head, whimpering.

"I don't want to go back there" you cried. 

"Let's go to my place then…" he whispered, wiping your tears away from your face. "I'm renting a small apartment above the shop...it's not that big but, we can both fit perfectly. I'll make us some dinner, you can take a bath in the meantime, and if you need anything whatsoever, I'll be a couple of steps away from you, okay?" He explained as you looked at him, nodding softly. He smiled, a lump on his throat and tears welling in his eyes as he leaned forward, kissing your forehead. "Lets go then" 

[borealis-hopping]

((WARNING LMAO, this post turned out a lot longer than I thought it would, sorry. Autistic idiot rambles about Jack Stauber for multiple paragraphs.))

TLDR; Watching Jack get popular as a fan who was there before he went viral has been great, however, most people only seem to view his art as nothing but a vehicle for their own. Taking inspiration from other people's art for your art is wonderful and fine, however if you ONLY view someone's art as nothing but a vehicle for your own, it's not great. Doing so ignores the intention behind it, covers up it's original meaning, separates it from it's artist, and ultimately strips it of it's worth as an individual art piece, even if that wasn't your intention at all. ((Also pls listen to more than just the same 4 songs, he has a pretty big amount of music out there and it's all really good, give it a try and stop listening to nothing but "Buttercup"))

vv Thoughts below vv

________________________________

Look it's 1am so idk if I'll word my exact feelings on this as ideally as I'd want to but like, I have mixed feelings on the fan base that has formed around Jack Stauber's work.

While yes it is good he's getting popular, and yes it is good he's finding success after all his years of work, and yes I'm happy people are enjoying his music, I can't help but find the fan base that has formed around his music to be fairly disingenuous.

And by disingenuous I mean, most people don't tend to care about the art of the music itself, what any of it actually means, or the heart and intentions put into it, or really Jack himself. Now ik this makes me sound like a pretentious dickbag, but it comes from a place of care.

I love Jack Stauber's work because it's so interesting to me. Not cause "oh wow it's so weird and fucked up!! Jack must be such a fucked up edgy guy to make such surreal art LOL." But because of the amount of soul is in his work.

I think people are too fast to dismiss surreal art as meaningless or weird simply for the sake of being weird, completely missing any thought the artist put into it. Like, if you have the capacity to suspend your disbelief even for a second and look past his arts surreal aspects, you'll see just how /human/ Jack's writing and art is.

While I'm not generalizing EVERY thing he's made or is going to make, ultimately I think Jack's work is about humanity. Human struggle both internal and external, with relationships, grief, communication, and the complexities of self image.

If you pay attention to how he writes his characters, all the dialogue feels really authentic. Like yeah I can imagine passing a person in public who sounds like that or would say that, or I could totally see a person in that context talking like that. He seems to have a really good understanding of people.

The way he portrays them is honest but not nihilistic. They're just people, and sometimes people are a bit weird, or awkward, or just plain dumb. But they're still people and they're not evil for being that way.

Even in Jack's more surreal shorts or songs, if you pay attention to the lyrics and context clues, you can probably derive meaning from it that in one way or another is fairly human and sincere.

Ofc surreal art that is weird or funny or off putting simply for the sake of being so has plenty of worth as well, and I'm sure Jack has just had fun here and there making strange stuff for the sake of making strange stuff. (Think "Nerpo") and that's valid too!

But ig what I'm getting at here is that, more often than not the majority of engagement I see w/ Jack Stauber's work outside of his YouTube channel, is people simply using his work as a vehicle for their own characters or stories, or fandoms.

Now I'm in no way saying that doing that stuff is inherently bad. I do it all the time! Finding inspiration from other artists as a way to express and expand your own art is beautiful and extremely fun, HOWEVER-

That seems to be the /ONLY/ type of engagement there is. Which, sadly, isn't great. Using someone else's pre-made art, especially music, as a vehicle for your own fandom/art isn't bad, however, if you ONLY view that person's art as nothing BUT a vehicle, even if it's not your intention, you completely lose sight of the art you're riding off of. You separate it from it's artist, disregard it's original meaning, cover up the intentions behind it, and ultimately kinda strip it of its own individual worth as a piece of art.

Anyways! Enjoying Jack's work is good but I wish more people would appreciate his work for what it is on it's own, as well as who Jack is as an artist and look at his work with a more realistic and proper perspective even if it does look "weird" or "pointlessly creepy"

Also this is a bit more petty and just how I feel but PLEASE listen to more than just the same 3 to 4 songs. There's nothing wrong with having favorite songs or just listening to the same few songs from an artist and not exploring the rest of their work, and like idc if saying this makes me sound like a shitty hipster- if you're gonna do that just PLEEAASE stop walking around and telling people you're this BIG Jack Stauber fan when the only songs you listen to are "Oh Klahoma" "Coffee" and "Buttercup"

He has SUCH a big selections of tracks out there if you include both the extended and non-extended micropop songs, as well as his albums. My personal favorite album is "HiLo", it means a lot to me and is getting me through a pretty tough time in my life rn. I recommend ALL of his music! Even his very first album, and the stuff at the start of his YouTube channel.

There's even people trying to compile his "lost media" on SoundCloud. Old and unreleased music he never put on YouTube. It's a fun thing to look into if you feel up to it!

[randombubblegum]

sometimes i think about awsten saying he was inspired by the madden brothers to freestyle lyrics instead of like, carefully thinking them out ahead of time and im just so bitter and i blame that for most of gh’s lyrics tbh. cause i think that that freestyle writing style works *as a starting point* but if you dont edit the shit out of it later you know what you end up with? you end up with fruit roll ups thats what. also imo theres nothing wrong with wanting to shift to blunter lyrics (although the part in the rock sound interview where he said it was so people on tiktok could know what he was talking about was NOT a good look and just felt condescending tbh) but if you’re writing blunt to the point lyrics you have to actually be saying something interesting. its the difference between “if i see you in person i’m taking teeth trust you’ve earned it” vs “you deserve a couple bad hair days / i hope your car’s AC breaks,” like the first one is cool and unique and the second one just sounds lazy

ALSO it doesnt work if the entire song is just blunt lyrics like tbh i’d be a lot more okay w the lyrics in gh if they were balanced out with metaphorical lyrics and cool wordplay bc thats what used to set waterparks apart from other bands imo. idk this whole idea that if his lyrics arent to the point the audience wont “get it” is so dumb and its dragging them down, the more he tries to dumb down his lyrics the less interesting the songs are even if the music itself is really good (cause tbh i still think gh is really strong music-wise its just the lyrics and same message spat back out over and over that makes me v :/ about it). sorry for rambling but goddd it makes me angry thinking what this album *could’ve* been if he wasnt trying so desperately to appeal to an audience he doesnt even have (aka tiktok)

dude i 100% agree. totally on the same page here with everything youve said

i was even thinking after listening to that interview how blunt lyrics COULD BE really heavy hitters if theyre used sparingly among more artistic and complex and thoughtful lyrics like the metaphors/word play hes been writing since 2012…… but you HAVE to be saying something worth saying. you have to be expressing a sentiment worth a suckerpunch of a lyric.

also holy shit yeah FUCK the freestyled lyrics why the hell do you think thats good??? your whole career youve focused on putting thought into the precise words you use and now youre okay w freestyling random shit and just leaving it like that??!! that rly IS how you get fruit roll ups!!!! let it flow and spew it out sure but then u need to go back and refine refine refine. jesus. gh didnt have to be this bad and one-tone in message and i resent that it is

[anonymous-swiftie]

If you are on twitter, please retweet this:

https://twitter.com/ASwiftie00/status/1334245577933148164?s=19

Dear #Swifties,

I'm new on tumblr, and I really don't know how to use it.

I know you are the best supporters of the music industry and I'm here to ask your help.

I'm fighting with a crippling depression, that due this covid situation just got worse.

I'm at my lowest, I truly don't know if I will make it through this time.

I always dreamed to talk to Taylor, since I was a teenager. She is the only one that make me feel like I do fit in this world.

I've created this account because I know she is very active here, and I'm trying to reach her with this part of my story.

You can read everything below.

I didn't write any personal information because I don't want this to be seen by my family or somebody that can recognise me.

I don't want upset anyone.

I know that everyone hope to meet or chat with her, and so you are probably wondering why you have to share this here.

You're totally right, maybe it's a stupid idea to ask you this, but I haven't anything left in my pocket to fight this situation, and you're my only hope right now.

Thank you.

#taylor #swift

*******************************************

Dear Taylor,

I keep writing and deleting this, over and over again.

I feel so dumb to write my personal story here, but this truly is my last chance to feel better and try to overcome this giant monster called depression.

I genuinly don't know if I can make it through this year. It's the worst period of my entire life and i don't even know if it's worth living this hell anymore.

I know you have millions of supporters (that probably write you every single day, and they are all better fans than I am, that's for sure) but I know that you proved, time after time, to be so down to earth and to use your time to read your fans messages.. so, in this moment, I'm just trying to share a part of my story with you.

You are the one that make feel understood, since I was like 13teen.

I'm so sorry if my English isn't very good but I'll do my best.

I'm not very active on social media , because I'm very shy when I have to talk about myself.. but If this could work, I must do it.

I will try to send a letter, If I can find the strength to mark this feeling on paper.

**IF I'M WRITING TO SOMEBODY FROM HER STAFF, PLEASE JUST LET THIS MESSAGE REACH TAYLOR**

I'll try now to resume, because I don't want to bother you too much.

This has been a crazy year so far, and the all the time I spent by myself during the lockdown didn't help at all.

This situation brought me back to childhood.

I spent a lot of my days back and forth in hospitals, due to my allergies.

I had to wear a mask all the time I wanted to go outside to avoid severe allergic reaction (that's why this Covid thing awakened some hurting memories)

I didn't have real friends back then, 'cause I've spent most of the summers at home, watching other kids playing around, from my window, or from the windows of my classroom.

It was so hard to make new friends, because the only thing that other kids saw was my mask.

I was the masked kid.

I was the strange kid.

I couldn't play with them.

Everytime I tried to play with them, the only thing I heard was "oh you are ill , I don't wanna be like you so stay away".

This situation made me start to write things in my personal diary.

I wrote small sentences, as a kid, and that was the only thing I could do alone inside an empty classroom during all summer.

This situation continued  for many years.

I wasn't the cool kid before, I wasn't the cool guy after.

The only things that let me enjoy those days were writing and listening to your songs.

I started to listen to your music thanks to my English teacher. She was a fan of folk and country music and she gave me a pic in which you were singing near a lake (I still have that photo somewhere, I strongly remember the white banner with your name written in red on it) and told me to listen to the cd she gave me that day.

I immediately fell in love (I think I still have a crush on you, I'm sorry).

I loved your album. I loved your voice. I loved the lyrics.

I remember having a "test" in school: each one of the class had to write their favourite lyrics and let the others guess the song.

If the someone guessed It, We could play the cd.

I chose Love Story and I translated it in Italian.

The class guessed the song, and I played it.

After the lunch break I went back to my desk and I saw some bullies that were breaking my cd-album and they started to laugh at me because I loved your music an I loved writing poems.

I was a boy so I was a loser because I enjoyed those things.

That felt terrible, but I continued to love your songs even more .

Those were my inspiration to write and to study english.

I felt so good when I listened to your album and this still happens.

Then I went to a private high-school.

Nothing changed, I still was the nerd guy that always got good grades and I have to say that the first year was quite good, but the second year was the start of the apocalypse.

I choose that school because two girls that I knew from childhood went there.

One of the cool new guys started to spread a fake "news" about me.

He said to everyone that I was the boyfriend of one of the two girls that I mentioned before.

So he was the cool guy and one of the girls believed him and told me to f*** myself.

The other girl was her best friend, so you could imagine by what happened next.

After 14 year spent together, I was nobody.

I didn't have "friends" in that class anymore.

I didn't say hello to anybody for 4 years, and nobody would say anything to me.

Nobody to talked with me.

That's great when you're a teenager.

I hated to wake up every morning.

I had an eating disorder, I lost like 22pounds in less than a month. Got hospitalized twice. I kept vomiting for 3 years, every single morning before school.

During that time I only talked with one of my cousins, who lived like 2 hours by car from me.

He was older than me but he always tried to help.

He knew that I loved to write poems so he started to give me guitar lessons.

I made it through a lot of things thanks to him.

I'm sorry, It's hard for me to write this part of the story.

I still get emotional when I think about this.

On the 10TH of December 2013 (some days after his birthday) we received a phone call from his mother: She warned us that he didn't return home after the last working shift.

I wrote a message to him like 3 hours prior to that phone call.

Never had the opportunity to get a reply again.

This year is the seventh year that he is missing.

That destroyed me.

I felt empty.

I felt like nothing couldn't help me.

I still feel that everytime I care about someone in my life, it will disappear someday.

This have happened several other times.

You know when ignorants say that men don't cry, is real bullshit. Men cry. I cried a lot.

I wrote so many poems , lyrics, thoughts in that period of time, that I destroyed my hands.

That was the only way to close my eyes and let me reach another reality because the real one was way too much for me.

Be a sensible man in this world is somehow a curse.

All these things made me afraid  even to hug someone 'cause I feel I'm too ugly or just to scared to be refused.

I will stop here my story, but there's so much more to tell.

I make it through all of these things and memories because I keep dreaming that one day I could meet you and we could talk together.

Dreaming about the fact I could spend a day with you made me find the power to battle my depression.

I'm 25 now and this year I'm not dreaming anymore.

I was going to start again university, I wanted to get a degree in marketing and have the chance to live in the us.

For years I believed that I would make it and hopefully be part of your marketing team.

I'm so stupid. All these years I kept dreaming to avoid pain.

I wanted to pursue my passion and continue to write lyrics but all I was doing was putting myself in unrealistic realities.

This covid situation made everything clear.

When everyone had someone to facetime (or video call) I was alone.

When everyone had someone asking them "how are you?" I only had myself looking in the mirror saying: "Will I ever feel better?"

I've never been the one for anybody, and I think I'll never be.

I won't be the one among all your fans to realize his dream.

Nobody likes me, and I'm exposing myself once again just because I want the opportunity to smile at something that could happen to me.

I'm tired to smile only for others best moments.

I've always seen the sun through a window.

I want to feel happy.

I want to burn my face with the sun.

I'm so sick of hiding my pain,

sick to cry when I'm alone in my car before going to work,

sick to let my eyes rain on my pillow every night.

I'm sick to say to my mother that I'm fine, just because I don't want to make her feel bad.

It's not her fault.

She is battling with a degenerative autoimmune disease, why I should put other weight on her shoulders?

I didn't give up to my weakness before because I don't want to hurt her.

I always say to her that soon she will feel better, that's why your song It's stuck in my head.

But when she won't be here anymore, how I can go through all of that?

I don't even know if will ever get better for me.

Will this pain ever stop?

Sometimes it's so hard to live and so easy to die.

Hope that my dream to spend some time with you can become true.

Thank you for everything, you gave me the strength to go on for many years.. But this time is so hard to put on my armor and continue this battle.

But is this even worth if thy I try to surround myself with people and I always feel lonely?

D.

@taylorswift @taylornation @jackleopards-thedolphinclub

[kimberly-spirits13]

Crush Pt. 3 HC (Meeting the Batfam):

Dick Grayson:

.        Grayson is the older person that you meet in the family

.        Everyone was out for the day and you were just casually making cookies in the kitchen

.        No big deal

.        Totally normal

.        He walks in on you with your ear buds in making cookies

.        He knew you since he was into the work you did

.        Totally fangirled

.        The Y/N L/N was in the kitchen, making cookies, dancing around to music

.        *dies*

.        You take your ear buds out and introduce yourself

.        He knows you obviously but it’s still the polite thing to do

.        Immediately starts asking questions

.        Sits at the counter and just asks questions about everything and everyone

.        “Is it true that *random person* is actually a massive pain in the ass to deal with???”

.        “Oh, yeah, they’re terrible but no one says anything about it since they’re all too afraid of them.”

.        “And also it the Met Gala really even that great? I mean the dresses and outfits are great but what’s it actually like?”

.        Things like that

.        He’s just amazed that Bruce got you and that you’re also a hero

.        Stupid shocked and amazed

.        He’s really fun to hang around though

Jason Todd:

.        Probably someone that you actively wanted to meet since you knew about his and Bruce’s relationship

.        You had a few friends or relatives that had that happen to them

.        It was something that you just wanted to move past and get to know him

.        It was only by coincidence that you met at the manor one day walking in with Bruce

.        He saw that you had on a band tee from a group that he loved

.        Hard core fan of

.        He just got up, introduced himself and then started asking about your musical tastes

.        Then book tastes

.        If you shot or not

.        Basically a friendly interrogation and conversation on bands and media

.        He loved you a lot and told Bruce that

.        “I hate to tell you old man, but you did good with this one.” “Don’t upset her.”

.        Bruce was very proud and you could tell

.        You probably took Jason to a concert to get to know each other better and were both just screaming the lyrics at the top of your lungs

.        It was the best and he was thrilled to have someone that actively cared about him without caring about things he’d done

.        Someone like a mother that didn’t judge him

Tim Drake:

.        You just kind of met one day

.        Both of you were in New York for a gala, Bruce was going and was taking Tim, and you were going since your brand was connected with the gala

.        Tim was the one that walked up to you since he had that gala confidence that he doesn’t have elsewhere

.        Introduced himself and asked if you were who Bruce was dating

.        You answered yes and then started talking

.        There was no real structure to the conversation

.        Tim liked that you could keep up with anything he was talking about

.        Not that he thought that the people Bruce dated were typically dumb, it was just that no one was this strategic in their thinking and intelligent in their speaking

.        He felt someone was really listening to him and taking in what he had to say to make another statement or reply instead of just nodding their head and agreeing

.        It was wonderful

.        Finally someone that was real and not just another girlfriend

.        Bruce really hasn’t had that many, it’s just that the media likes to make it out that way

.        Anyways, you got off really well and it was nice since he just felt respected

Damian Wayne:

.        First person that you met

.        He was not super inviting at first but you had done your research

.        The kid has mommy and daddy issues so he wasn’t super, super content on letting you in quickly and you were fine with that

.        You did talk about things that you knew interested him

.        And also didn’t act any more fancy or important than anyone else

.        You just acted purely genuine and that worked really well

.        Titus also immediately liked you a lot so Damian knew that you must not be that bad

.        He willingly participated in conversation which scared Bruce a bit

.        What is my child doing and why is he suddenly so nice?

.         Damian is interested in what you say especially when you start talking about the horse farm that your close friend or close family member owns

.        You end up taking him there that week and it’s the best time he’s had in forever

.        An actual bonding time

.        Not just on a rooftop during patrol with his oldest brother no matter how much he actually likes those

.        Damian’s cool with you pretty quickly and sometimes goes and crashes at your apartment sometimes

.        Watching movies and going to museums together is something he enjoys greatly as well

Duke Thomas:

.        You kinda met in the same way as Dick

.        Just very casually

.        He didn’t fangirl as much though

.        He knew who you were and that you probably didn’t want anyone freaking out over you like some do

.        He wasn’t wrong

.        Instead he just asked about how you were doing and just started a nice conversation

.        The most normal out of the entire family which is cool

.        He’s just really nice and warm

.        Very welcoming

.        Wants to make sure you know that the family is weird but you’ll be fine

.        Nothing too terribly wrong at all times kinda thing

Luke Fox:

.        He’s not really Bruce’s kid in actuality, but you do meet, and he is close in the family

.        You meet at WE one day

.        He’s suited up for a meeting and you’re there just since you and Bruce were going for lunch after

.        He’s very polite and basically doesn’t make a big deal about it

.        Wishes you and Bruce the best of luck

.        Not much else

Stephanie Brown: artist credit: @jjmk-jjmk​

.        Just like Dick

.        Fangirls

.        They’re both in the fashion loop

.        Both very, very excited

.        You really like her though since she’s just really fun

.        Very energetic and real

.        She’s super funny too

.        Asking tons of questions about people and trends

.        Basically the same “are the asshole?” questions

.        The answer it most likely yes

.        She and Dick have been to New York Fashion Week together a few times

.        You offer to take them with you the next time and go behind the scenes

.        They’re so down

.        Basically are just in awe of everything the entire time

.        Super excited

.        She loves having a mom figure like you

.        It’s so refreshing for once to have at least one stable parental figure

.        Or at least one that keep it together really well

Cassandra Cain:

.        The girl has never had a good mother figure in her life

.        She’s kinda nervous about you

.        It’s not that she doesn’t trust Bruce or even really you, it’s just that her experiences aren’t good at all

.        You know that she loves dance and does ballet

.        So that’s what you kind of go with

.        She doesn’t talk much if at all and so you signed to her the first time and I swear the girl almost cried since she knew that you actually cared enough to ask

.        She speaks the most around you which is really incredible

.        Bruce is so, so jealous but he’s incredibly happy to see his daughter speak even a bit

.        You’re always taking her out places and having girl days with her just for fun

.        Whatever makes her comfortable

.        Actively are clearing the schedule to see her performances

.        She cries the first time she sees you standing there clapping and just loves that you care so much

.        The girl will kick ass for you if you need it but she knows you don’t since you’re a highly trained hero yourself

.        She is like your daughter along with Steph

.        You have a room for her in your apartment now just incase she wants to stay over

.        When she has a nightmare you’ll sit with her on the couch or even in bed sometimes braiding her hair and either talking through the nightmare if that is her drawing it out, writing it out and you reading it, signing, or just talking about it

.        If she’s not in the mood, you’ll tell stories until she falls asleep and typically you’ll stay since it makes her feel safer

[join-the-joywrite]

You are the music in me (part 1)

(mostly) juke soulmate AUs no. 1

Special thanks & shoutout to @endless-navigator and @i-spit-on-fire for helping me with my first juke soulmates au post, you guys are amazing!!

Suggested by the lovely Endless: AU where soulmates are musically connected, so whenever the one is playing music, the other hears it in their head (Everyone Is Alive AU, Trevor and Bobby are not the same person I know it doesn't make sense shh)

First of all, I love this au and my co-writers

Second of all, let's just pause for a moment to imagine Alex suffering out hours of Justin Bieber's pop music because that was Willie's playlist at one point. Alex retaliated by starting a rock band and that's the real story behind Sunset Curve, shhh

They all go to the same school & the entire grade is very aware of Julie & Carrie's rivalry for top spot in music, dance and drama. So far, Julie has music, Carrie has dance and somehow, Flynn accidentally got into drama due to an admin error in eighth grade and she's been rocking it ever since. But Julie and Carrie are best friends, don't doubt that. It may seem a little suspicious, but they do love each other.

Luke thinks Julie is a hotshot and finds Carrie super arrogant. He tolerates Flynn. He expects his best friends to do the same but Reggie adopted Flynn as his little sister and partner in crime, and Alex regularly sleeps over at Carrie's for spa night and boy gossip. Luke is very betrayed when he discovers this.

Once, Alex was over for a Dirty Candy recital and spent the next day singing the song they were performing and when Dirty Candy performed it, Luke and Reggie were Very Confused -- but half an hour later, Alex was singing Justin Bieber under his breath again.

Anyway back to the juke I initially started this for

Perfect Harmony

Luke doesn't really like Julie but he's the first to admit she's actually really talented. Julie has no idea who Luke is.

When Sunset Curve started up and found their sound, Julie decided that she couldn't wait to meet her soulmate because she was going to strangle them on sight. How was she supposed to get her homework done when all she had every afternoon was rock music???

They once independently went to the same concert and after realizing that the music wasn't bad, they were just hearing double, both got excited that their soulmate liked the music they did.

Julie wrote music with Rose a lot and often, she'd be the one singing. Luke often thought about penning down the unfamiliar lyrics to search it up later but he always forgot, getting lost in the beautiful music his soulmate listened to.

Eventually, Julie grew accustomed to the constant rock and decided to Google the lyrics in her head. After coming up blank everywhere, she concluded that her soulmate was making original music. So she had a talented soulmate. Didn't mean they weren't annoying.

Perfect Harmony

Julie still can't wait to meet her soulmate. Maybe she won't kill them on sight but she sure as hell will beat them with a cushion for the one calculus test she flunked after spending all the study time with loud music in her head.

Luke and Julie write music together

I love Luke but he's dumb and he doesn't even notice that he's writing music with his soulmate. Julie does, but only because her soulmate has a very distinct voice and any music that comes from her soulmate shares that voice and even though it's so very different to her own, there is an undeniable complimentary aspect.

Julie has like 8 duets locked away from her family that she co-wrote with her unaware soulmate.

Perfect Harmony

Sunset Curve has ballads now and then. Bobby, Reggie and Alex know why but they're not gonna tell Luke. They're just gonna share knowing glances and pretend like nothing is different. They have a bet going with how long it'll take Luke to realise.

Luke is falling in love with his soulmate because music is life and his soulmate has GREAT music taste. Unlike Julie, he hasn't yet figured out that the music in his head is original music.

P E R F E C T H A R M O N Y

Endless, Sun & I thought about killing Rose but we threw that out the window pretty quickly. Instead, we decided upon a year-long coma. In which Julie loses music.

Luke is absolutely distraught. He thinks his soulmate died. Reggie, Alex & Bobby don't think so for sure but the longer the silence goes on, the more convinced they get. It affects Luke's music too. Sunset Curve doesn't shut down like Julie did, but they do get softer.

Luke spends more time writing, singing to himself. If by some miracle, his soulmate isn't dead, then he's singing to them. Hopefully.

One day, Sunset Curve performs for Julie. Well, they don't specifically perform for her. They'd have to know her for that. Sunset Curve throws a small gig and "this song goes out to all of you who feel hopeless, like you'll never be able to wake all the passions you used to have up again."

Flynn decides Julie needs to start living again and drags her to the small mini concert because it's small and why not.

Julie goes through the entire evening in a daze, but after Flynn leaves her house later that night, Julie feels a little fuzzy, like something's wrapping her in a big warm hug. And the next day, Julie absolutely obliterates Wake Up.

A week or so after, Rose is concious again.

Now that the serious moments are done, let's get to some funnies.

Luke, distracted and bored: you with the sad eyes

Julie, trying to do her homework: W H Y

Luke, oblivious: don't be discouraged

Julie, squishing her scrap paper: >:(

Flynn finds this amusing and asks what's up. Julie growls, "he's singing Trolls."

"So sing back. Duh."

And then she does. Luke's singing gets less lazy and more energetic. Julie actually really likes Trolls music and she has to admit singing Poppy's lines are fun. Flynn is super tempted to record Julie and call it blackmail stock. Alex, Reggie and Bobby actually act on the temptation.

They do this often. Julie will be doing something mundane and then all of a sudden, there's a duet playing in her head and it's her idiot soulmate covering the song akd hoping she joins in. Thankfully, Julie is mostly alone but she wonders if her soulmate is acting a fool in front of other people just for the sake of hearing her voice. Endearing.

P E R F E C T H A R M O N Y

Julie needs some practice on her dance recitals okay, so randomly, she has the track playing on her headphones and bops her head along. Sometimes she's cleaning the kitchen and dancing with the broom pretending it's her dance partner. No I don't do that haha

It has been WEEKS of this.

Luke has developed brain cells. He now knows his soulmate is helping him write music. So he starts penning down a new song. Both of them know it's a duet. They've even had some joke practices together with no music and things like that. Julie doesn't know the music that goes with it because Luke is careful not to play it. Ever.

And so one night, Julie's down in the studio -- it's dusty and needs a little cleaning -- and pops her earbuds in and she's doin her lil dancy-dance as she listens to her the music for her dance class recital.

Luke: GUYS GUYS GUYS ITS TIME ITS TIME SHE'S PRACTICING GUYS GUYS

Alex: IT'S FINALLY HAPPENINNNGGGGGGG

Reggie and Bobby: so should we leave you two alone for a minute or--

Luke: NO YOU WILL STAY HERE AND YOU WILL PLAY THE NOTES I GAVE YOU LAST WEEK I HOPE YOU NERDS PRACTICED

Bobby: you know we're gonna silently make fun of you the whole time

Luke: I am aware but you guys love me and you'll do this for me now shut up I have to time this perfectly

Julie is hearing double. At first she thinks maybe she never plugged her headphones in or maybe Flynn or Carrie are nearby listening to it too or -- no wait hang on a minute that doesn't sound like the track she's supposed to dance to.

Taking out her earbuds confirms that the music is in her head.

Off topic, speaking of music in her head, Luke definitely thinks I Got The Music is a Bop™

Its soft, its sweet, it's just guitar. There is no way in hell her soulmate is listening to guitar instead of playing it. She knows that much.

So now Julie has forgotten about cleaning the studio up and is pretty much standing in the same spot, just holdin on to the broom that did just two short sweeps

"Step into my world"

"THE BASTARD WROTE A SONG"

"Bittersweet love story bout a girl"

big gasp "THAT BASTARD IS PLAYING OUR DUET"

"Shook me the core"

Julie's brain: singggg,,,,, Julie: I'm afraid, ,,, Julie's brain, in Flynn's voice: S I N G

"Voice like an angel, never heard before"

Julie, before she can back down, "here in front of me"

Luke's eyes get so wide and so happy. Bobby takes a pause to snap a photo. When they finally find Luke's soulmate, they're gonna have so many dorky pics to show

Y'all it is the most beautiful separated duet of all time. I mean, not for the guys, the pauses are really weird but hey, at least Luke seems to be enjoying himself.

Post duet: "Mija are you singing to yourself"

Julie: (screams and throws broom) no?

You know what maybe this needs to be split for a part two...

[lucie-krlsknd]

The Bed Intruder Song - The Gregory Brothers

This week, I wanted to share with you something less political and funnier. Music is thus not only a political device, but also a simple way of making people have a good time. Therefore, I chose to dwell on the famous “Bed Intruder Song” by The Gregory Brothers. This song is drawn from a musical web series called “Songify the News” popularized by Brooklyn musician Michael Gregory (hence the name of the band), whose goal is only humoristic. Indeed, The Gregory Brothers digitally manipulate recorded voices of politicians, news anchors, or political pundits to make them seem to be singing and finally create a music. The auto-tune they use allows them to create real melodies, on the one hand really loveable for the audience, and on the other hand really funny because it seems so artificial. Moreover, people speaking in the clip of the “Bed Intruder Song” have a strong American accent, what make them even less credible: “We gon’ find you”. What I find remarkable, is that nothing in this song, neither the lyrics, nor the clip, are taken seriously, even if the recording on which it is based is drawn from a news report of WAFF-48 (Tennessee Valley's First Alert breaking news) about an attempted rape in Huntsville, Alabama. The “Bed Intruder Song” could thus just have been a bad joke, but it actually became the most watched YouTube video of 2010 and reaches today more than 150M views on YouTube. What do people like in this video? Probably the fact that everything is presented in a dumb way, even if it deals with a bad event. Possibly, making fun about serious subjects discredit them, and consequently make them less likely to scare us; I don’t know. Maybe they just like this song because it is very offbeat.

This way of making joke about what is happening, this contrast between reality and how it affects us, is something on which we could dwell. What is sure, is that not everyone found this music funny: rape is indeed a very serious subject. Can we make fun about everything? I don’t know and I don’t want to try to give this question an answer, as everyone has anyway different opinions about it. What I wanted to underline is the capacity of music to be sometimes serious, sometimes totally silly (just look at the clip, it is so ridiculous). And that is especially what I like in popular music: its diversity. An even if I do not like a style or a way of creating music, I still find it great: beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

[sammy-gvf]

We get along (for the most part)

Chapter One.

OC x Lee Bodecker

Warnings: None for now. Just some cursing.

Plot : The local rebel badass girl and Lee Bodecker have had run ins, lets see how it goes, shall we? 

MINORS DNI !!!!! Eventually this story will get 18+. I dont feel like getting in trouble because of you. Thanks a bunch. 

Evan Rachel Wood ( Across the Universe 2007) 

( personally in my head this is what she would look like but you can interpret her anyway you want!)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My name is Margaret Lane, well Maggy. 22. Born May 2nd 1947.

The resident bad girl, don't worry, I gave myself that nickname.

I have lived in this tiny, middle of nowhere town my entire life. Same people, same gossip.  There's no escape. No matter how hard I try, something always stops me. I live with my parents and little brother here in Knockemstiff, Ohio. My parents and I have a mutual understanding of “you go to work and come home and then we don't talk”, which is fine with me. My little brother is the only one I can really rely on. He is 17 years old and he is really the only person in my family that I can really talk to. I mean, I have friends but they aren't living in the same house as me. Not yet at least, we are thinking about moving out all together.

High school is where I built my reputation, of course. Used to sneak around with Arvin Russell, which led me to meet Lee Bodecker. Sneaky ass sheriff used to follow my every move, making sure he took every opportunity to bust Arvin and I any chance he got. 

Had nothing better to do than to bust on teenagers who were sneaking out to their parents, what a loser. Along with gaining some parking tickets and speeding tickets along the way, we became acquaintances. Thinking about the future, I was dying to leave this town. Never got the chance to after high school, hopefully I will as soon as i'm done college. 

 I can say whole heartedly that I do NOT enjoy Lee's presence. That man memorized my license plate number. Stops me all the time, for no reason. 

Flashback 

It was a warm saturday evening, about 7pm. I had just got some college work done. Figured it was too nice to just sit inside, right?

 I get up out of my bed and put my school stuff in my bag, walking over to my closet to put on a pretty yellow flowy dress and grab my leather jacket, that'll go nice with the breeze coming in through my window.

I put my hair up in a bun and slip on some keds, something easy ya know? 

I turn off the light in my room and walk into the living room where I see my father asleep on the couch, I walk over to the counter and grab a little piece of paper and write “going out for a drive, be back soon” and put in on the table in front of my father so if he wakes up, he knows where I went. 

I actually have a lot of freedom compared to other girls my age, many girls my age are looking for husbands and/or their parents are trying to set them up with someone. My parents know who I am, I was so against having an actual boyfriend so I just slept around. Obviously, people at church got wind of it but I didn't really care, to me men are there at my disposal. I play the field for my own reasons. 

I grab my keys off the door in the foyer of my little house and head outfront. 

I head down the steps of my house and waltz towards my red little 1964 Ford Mustang. Worked for it all by myself. 

Getting in the car, I pop a cigarette in my mouth and light it up. Keeping the cigarettes in my car was my best bet, my father would kill me if he knew I smoked these things. Turning on the car, I throw in a Led Zeppelin cassette, immediately Whole Lotta Love starts playing. What a good song to drive to. 

I put my windows down and start driving down a long road where I know for a fact no one drives this time of night, partly because they are afraid of the sheriff, Lee Bodecker. 

Lee doesn't scare you, never has. 

Blaring music at high volume was what you  were known for in these parts and you could really care less about the time and how loud you had it. Music is a really important part of your self expression. 

Speeding down the road, cigarette in my mouth screaming the lyrics 

You need cooling

Baby I'm not fooling

I'm gonna send ya

Back to schooling

A-way down inside

A-honey you need it

I'm gonna give you my love

I'm gonna give you my love

 I smile and listen to the lyrics, I feel like such a rebel. People in these parts don't listen to this type of music, devil music they call it. They think it has some deep down evil meaning. I just shake it off, they wouldn't know real music if they tried. 

 I could just leave right now if I wanted to. Drive out of town and start fresh, no one would miss me. Except my brother and friends. They are really the only people keeping me in this dead end town. 

The cool breeze enters your hair and you lose your hair tie. Fuck. 

“ Damn It”  You say as you put the cigarette down and try to look to see where it went. It's nowhere in sight. 

“ I have to pull over to get this thing” you think to youtself. It's the only hair tie you own right now.

you light another cigarette and pull my car over to a slightly darker side of the road. You get out of the car and start searching for my hair band, it had to have fallen behind your seat. 

 Of course, you saw familiar blue and red lights pull up right behind me.

“Fuck me” you mutter as you turn around, shut the car door, kick the dirt under your feet and lean up against the car , patiently waiting for Lee to take his good ol time walking to me.

Lee exits his police cruiser wearing the typical uniform with the typical toothpick in his mouth.

You watch him as he slowly strides over towards you and You roll your eyes at him as he eyes you down, prick.

“Well, well, well, Ms. Lane. Fancy to see you here.” Lee says smirking and laying one hand on your car's trunk. You scoff at him.

“ Hands off the car, Bodecker. Thought you'd know better than to touch what's not yours.” You say looking over at him, taking a drag of your cigarette. Lee scoffs and walks over to you, taking the cigarette out of your mouth and crushing it with his shoe. Your jaw drops and you look over at him in disgust as he chuckles at your reaction to his doing.

“Pretty little ladies like you shouldnt be smokin these, could make ya look ugly” He says. 

You can smell the tobacco smell coming off him, the smell of mints sticking to his breath. He is a little closer to you now, you back up and grab your pack of cigarettes out of the cup holder in your car. Bending over, the sheriff gets a nice view of your backside for a split second.  

“Sheriff, I would like to respectfully say I do not give a fuck what a man thinks about how I look smoking a cigarette, I am not here for a mans enjoyment. Also, one more pet name and I'm telling your wife.” you say as you light another cigarette and the sound of Led Zeppelin is lingering in the background, Lee clicks his tongue and looks over at you.

“Ms.Lane, you have quite the mouth on you. Not very ladylike for a woman your age.” Lee takes his hat off and leans against your car. He lights a cigarette and stands there for a minute. You look at him confused and you roll your eyes. 

“Lee, besides bothering me, do you have a purpose being here right now?” You look at him and say while you take a drag of your cigarette. Lee looks over to you and laughs. 

“Well, I just seen a car parked all by itself on the side of the road and I was on duty anyways but then I saw your license plate and figured I'd see why you, little lady, are out all by yourself at this time of night.” Lee says throwing his cigarette on the dirt ground below him. 

You turn to look at him and finish your cigarette, leaning against the car still.

“ I appreciate your concern, Bodecker. I am just out for a drive and pulled over to find my hair tie, it came out while I was driving. Pulled over to look around for it, don't want my hair in my face while I am driving. Also, not a little lady. I am grown.” You say turning away from Lee and finding your hair tie, you turn to Lee while tying your hair up, smirking you say

“ Goodnight Officer,also don't follow me again, yeah?” You say climbing back into your car and you slowly pull away.

Lee stands there watching as you climb back into your car, the smell of your perfume in the air invades his lungs, dumbfounded, he smirks and laughs to himself. 

“Smart girl” Lee says as he smirks and turns to go back to his cruiser.

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You had noticed sometime down the road that there was a car following you with no lights on, you had just assumed it was some random person but with one certain lick of light you saw the sheriff's face in the mirror of your car mirror. Figuring that out, you went a little faster down the road and then you lost your hair tie, you knew what was coming. 

You look in the car mirror to look at Lee. He's already turned his car around and started driving the other way. You werent dumb, you know from the years of Lee catching you sneaking out and drinking and or having boys in your car as a young girl, he knows your moves. It makes you think he patrols these parts so he can catch you doing something dumb one day just to cuff you up and get some control. He never does. 

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 Two people with reputations in this town. 

 How bad can it get?

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Hi everyone! Welcome to my first fic! Lee Bodecker is quite the character and I have been wanting to write him for a while. Dont forget to leave some opinons so I can know what yall would want to possibly happen! Dont forget to like/reblog! It would mean the world. I am not sure about my posting schedule but itll most likely be once or twice a week! also let me know if youd like to be added to my tags so I can let you know when I post another chapter! 

Tags- @please-buckme , @ladyfallonavenger , @buckysdolls , @nerdy-depressed , @do-not-pray-for-me , @unsentlettersandmore , @local-spacegirl , @youcancallmeishita , @not-another-fangirl​ , @angelicbabydolll

[forcebook]

Venji has always been endgame: Benji’s attraction to Victor

the first thing I really need people to understand is that Benji is not watching the show, he’s not seeing things through Victor’s point of view, and for the most part of the season he has no idea Victor is struggling with his sexuality. from Benji’s point of view, Victor is straight and into Mia. that’s how I’m going to be analyzing his thoughts and actions (well, guessing mostly because he does lack screen time and insight moments. hopefully we’ll get more of him in season two!!)

btw I’m gonna break it down episode by episode because I’m insane (and I also feel strangely connected to Benji so don’t @ me)

Episode 1 - Welcome to Creekwood

as I’ve mentioned before, you can interpret Benji’s “nice shoes!” line as interest. but even if you’re not willing to do that, I still think it’s valid to consider that he might’ve felt some kind of immediate connection to Victor (if episodes 2 and 3 are any indication of that. and the Call Me Maybe lyrics).

Episode 2 - Stoplight Party

the “Benji attempts to teach Victor how to make a espresso” scene is very much about Victor’s attraction to Benji so I don’t wanna look too much into it. also Benji comes off as (at least for me!) a very attentive and loving person, so his dedication to teaching Victor felt very genuine. but still like...... he did get lost in Victor’s eyes for a moment before the milk spilled akdjksdjjs

then at the end of the episode Benji calls Victor late at night (he even apologizes for that) when he could’ve called Victor at any other time or could’ve just told him at school. and well, (I may be reaching here but headcanons are always good!!) I like to believe Benji couldn’t stop thinking about Victor, which is why he decided to call. for some unknown reason he already feels connected to Victor and wanted to hear his voice and—

let me stop here before I write a whole fanfic because that’s not the purpose of this post.

Episode 3 - Battle of the Bands

oh boy, I’m gonna try to unpack this episode, hopefully I’ll make some sense. I’m very sorry if I fail!

so, Victor and Benji have the Call Me Maybe (cutest) moment, in which Victor tells Benji that he’s going on a date with Mia the next day.

Now. I need you to remember that Victor explicitly told Benji that he and Mia wouldn’t go to the Battle of the Bands and that Benji had already performed when Victor got there and only performed again because his band won the battle (so I’m pretty sure Victor wasn’t supposed to hear the Call Me Maybe cover). therefore this wasn’t Benji confessing his feelings to Victor. if anything, I believe it was his way of dealing with the intense and ever-growing feelings that he has for Victor through his biggest passion (music), pretty much like making a reference to something that you know no one else will understand (since for everyone else it’s just a Carly Rae Jepsen bop).

but then Victor eventually shows up and hears Benji singing Call Me Maybe and for him it’s definitely not just a Carly Rae Jepsen bop anymore. it’s their song

after the performance, it looks like Benji is going to talk to him about it, maybe to try and make it seem like it’s no big deal (since he thinks Victor is into Mia, and he himself is in a long term relationship) but Derek appears and we’re all left heartbroken (Simon & his friends included).

what I’m trying to say is: they are two halves of the same idiot. while Victor is in denial of his sexuality and attraction to Benji, Benji is in denial of his growing feelings for Victor. we love this denial duo

Episode 4 - The Truth Hurts

not much to say about this one BUT. at the beginning of the episode you can see how Victor and Benji are working totally in sync, to the point where they barely need words like the freaking soulmates that they are. honestly, I’m done pretending they aren’t soulmates because this show just kept shoving that into our faces over and over and if you failed to see it then it’s not my problem (or maybe it is since I’m literally spending my time trying to explain exactly that. but I just care too much about these two and I want people to understand why).

then Derek calls and Benji picks up lovingly because he’s a loving person and a caring boyfriend and even though he might be struggling with his feelings for Victor, he’s not about to neglect his boyfriend (shame we can’t say the same thing about Derek) (no I will not stop throwing shade at him).

Episode 5 - Sweet Sixteen

I could try and say several things about this one but for real, BENJI DREW VICTOR AND GAVE HIM THE DRAWING AS A BIRTHDAY GIFT. like! this stupidly artistic boy!!!!!!!!! this stupidly caring boy!!!!!!!!! he could’ve bought Victor literally anything or not even bothered to think of a gift At All, but he took the time to DRAW VICTOR LIKE ONE OF HIS FRENCH BOYS!!!!! what am I supposed to do with this knowledge!!!!

now I’m imagining Benji observing Victor. the way the light hits his face, how his shoulders move, the shape of his hands....... all the while telling himself it’s just to draw Victor!!!!! but that’s still beautiful and frankly thirsty nonetheless.

p.s I was robbed of a scene like that.

Episode 6 - Creekwood Nights

not much to say about this one except the show blatantly telling us that Derek can be real shitty sometimes. also, I wanna talk about Venji’s dynamics throughout the show so bad but it deserves a post of its own so I’m gonna hold my tongue.

Episode 7 - What Happens In Willacoochee

(stays in Willacoochee or maybe it will haunt your gay ass all the way to New York).

oh boy, this is where shit starts going down for real.

so Victor kisses Benji. I’m not going to defend Victor because what he did was reckless and dumb and frankly disrespectful. but I need to say that it was going to happen sooner or later because when you repress something too hard and for too long, it’s bound to come back with full force and explode in your face. I really wish it was in a different circumstance, of course, but also life isn’t always made of perfect situations and shit happens. (and nope, that does not excuse Victor’s actions).

now think about Benji. he’s been struggling with his feelings for Victor, who as far as he knows is straight and in a relationship, and then suddenly Victor kisses him. my best guess (due to his reaction to Victor’s speech in episode 10) is that he thinks Victor isn’t being serious about it, that in no moment that kiss meant anything but curiosity and recklessness, when they both have people to lose (again, he doesn’t know that Victor struggles with his sexuality, much less that Victor has feelings for him).

so yeah, I believe Benji was upset, not only with Victor though, but with himself.

(I’ll come back to this in a second)

no Benji in episode 8 so.......

Episode 9 - Who The Hell Is B

Benji decides to leave the coffee shop. Victor tells him that the kiss wasn’t his fault and Benji says that being around Victor makes him feel guilty, now why is that?

firstly because he’s not a psychopath and the fact that he cheated on Derek makes him feel guilty. but I do believe that that’s not the only thing that makes him feel guilty. deep down he liked kissing Victor. he likes Victor, he’s been doing his best to keep that buried but Victor had to go and complicate things, so now the only way to avoid making a bigger mess is staying as far away as possible from each other. so he runs back to the safety of his relationship with Derek.

(listen, I know the show makes it seem like Benji is super angry and wants nothing to do with Victor but I don’t believe that’s the case. he’s upset and feeling guilty for liking someone else, denial does make you act very hostile sometimes).

Episode 10 - Spring Fling

Benji’s denial continues but (thankfully) it won’t last much longer.

he goes to the bathroom and tells Victor that he’s read his letter and that he does forgive him for kissing him but that that doesn’t change anything, that it’s best for them to stay away from each other.

that’s until he hears Victor’s speech to Derek (which was more to Benji than Derek so). that’s the moment he realizes that Victor actually likes him, that the kiss as cursed as it was had meant something, that they both feel exactly the same thing. that’s what gives him courage to finally accept that he can’t be with Derek anymore because his heart belongs to someone else. (has belonged to Victor from the moment they met) akdjskdjsj someone please tell me to shut up

which leads us to the bench kiss(es) scene. now, these boys are a whole mess because Victor was still technically dating Mia (he did try to come out to her before, couldn’t do it so he decided to come out after the Spring Fling) (good intention, poor execution).

But I also believe this was just lazy writing and they wanted to have a scene where Mia catches Victor and Benji together. it could’ve been done better, they could’ve been just touching foreheads or something but they wanted the full drama so the kiss(es) happened. I’m taking 50 points away from the writers for this. (also does not excuse Victor or Benji since they literally met halfway. these idiots are so in love wtf!)

(I still love them though, and hope they do better in the future, for themselves and for each other).

anyway, I think that’s it! if you read up until this point: thank you so much!!!! I tried my best to understand and explain Benji since the show said fuck Benji stans. hope this helps!

— love, MJ

[bastardtetsu]

{day 09} vanilla ice cream | tsukki x reader

pairing: tsukishima kei x gn!reader

genre: enemies to lovers, secret pen pal, mutual pining a lil bit?

wc: 1.5k

warnings: sick reader (hangover/cold), mention of drinking, some swearing, tsukki showing human empathy

⍋⋆*❅｡. 25 days of fic-mas mlist .｡❅*⋆⍋

somehow it all reminds me of doctor jekyll and mister hyde for right before my eyes, a man that i despise has turned into a man i like

—vanilla ice cream; she loves me (music by jerry bock, lyrics by sheldon harnick)

the first thing you notice as you wake up is your pounding headache. it’s hard to be surprised at your state after the amount of alcohol you consumed last night - not without good reason, of course. as awful as you’re feeling now, it’s nothing compared to the hell that was last night.

it wasn’t supposed to go like that - it was supposed to be a magical, maybe even romantic evening. you had been looking forward to meeting your mystery friend ever since the two of you started messaging each other online, but you hadn’t expected to develop a full-blown crush on this person without even finding out what they look like.

but the more you got to know their personality, exchanging playlists and talking about your similar tastes in music, the more your messages to each other became fonder, even flirty at times. perhaps it was the level of anonymity that made you both so comfortable talking to each other, but you quickly became each other’s most trusted confidants.

when you started working at the record store, things became a little more stressful as you adjusted to your schedule becoming tighter, having to handle the occasional nasty customer, and dealing with one coworker in particular who must have being rude to you written into his DNA. talking with your anonymous friend is a much-needed escape, a distraction from the mundane, a hidden treasure that only you get to enjoy.

so as you sat waiting in the cafe last night, a rose laid out on the table as you had promised your dear friend, nothing could’ve killed your vibe faster than the aforementioned rude coworker - tsukishima kei - showing up and ruining everything.

you could tell he was only there because you’d insisted on leaving work early to make this date, and he wanted to see if you were lying. he only proved his intentions more when he had the audacity to sit down at your table and make jabs at you for meeting up with someone you met online.

“you’ve been waiting an awful long time haven’t you?” he taunted.

“tsukki, if you don’t leave this table—“

“and you’ve never even met them? this is how people get murdered, you know,” he sneered condescendingly. you almost got thrown out because of how loudly you screamed at him. thankfully you didn’t - although you did seem to strike some nerves with tsukishima, which you felt a bit bad about - but even though you waited at the cafe until closing, nobody showed up, leaving you alone with a single rose and a full bottle of wine.

needless to say, you have every reason to feel like shit this morning. not only are you hungover and heartbroken, having heard nothing but radio silence from your friend, you’re starting to feel lightheaded and stuffy-nosed too. you waste no time calling in sick, burying yourself in your blankets as you try your best to shut out the pounding in your head and the salty tears beginning to sting the backs of your eyelids.

suddenly, a knock at the door jolts you back to reality. “who is it?” you call out weakly.

another knock. you drag yourself out of bed with a quiet groan and go to answer the door, only to be met with a familiar lanky blond.

“what do you want, tsukishima,” you demand dryly, “did you have something you forgot to say last night? if you do say it fast, i don’t feel well today.”

“yeah i know, you called out of work,” he replies ambivalently, “that’s why i’m here.”

“oh, so you’re here to check up on me again, make sure i’m not slacking off?” you taunt him, your temper rising.

“that’s not—“

“you gonna go back to work and tell everyone i’m lying? that i just don’t care about my job?”

“no i’m n—“

“well joke’s on you, four-eyes, ‘cause guess what? i’m not giving you the chance.” you immediately start gathering your belongings, preparing to go to work.

“what?”

“i won’t be that late,” you mumble to yourself, throwing a coat over your arm as you hurriedly grab your keys, “fuck— where the hell is my other shoe??”

“oi,” tsukishima says firmly, “y/n. you need to lie down.”

“fuck off,” you bite back at him.

“no seriously, you look like you have a fever.”

“i don’t care,” you snarl, “help me look for my shoe, i know it’s here somewhere—HEY!!!”

there’s not much you can do but continue screaming at him as tsukishima scoops you up in his scrawny arms - which are evidently way stronger than they look - and carries you to your bed, dumping you unceremoniously on top of the blankets.

“THE FUCK WAS THAT?!?” you shout. he just shrugs.

“what was i supposed to do? you wouldn’t get back in bed.” he says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. arrogant prick. you slump down into your blankets, feeling too depleted to pick a fight anymore.

“i brought you something.”

your head shoots up as a plastic grocery bag lands next to it. opening it up, you find a tub of vanilla ice cream inside. “it’s the best thing to eat when you’re sick,” he states.

“a-ah,” you stutter hesitantly, “thanks.” is tsukishima being… nice to you?

“did that uh… friend of yours ever show up?” he asks cautiously.

“no,” you mutter bitterly, “i waited til closing. guess you were right, meeting some stranger from the internet really was a stupid idea.”

“hm,” he grunts awkwardly, looking away from you.

“i mean,” you continue, “the least they could’ve done was give me some sort of explanation. instead they just fucking ghosted—“

“they didn’t ghost,” tsukishima interjects suddenly, almost defensive. “i mean— it hasn’t even been a day, they’ll probably hit you up later.”

“and how do you know?”

“because—“ he stops short, hesitating for a moment before continuing, “i saw the guy last night. on the way out of the cafe.”

“wait—what??” you exclaim, “you saw them? how do you know??”

“they were supposed to be holding a rose, right? like the one you had?”

“yeah— wait, how do you know about that?”

“it wasn’t hard to figure out. people usually don’t sit at cafes with loose flowers on the table unless it’s something dumb like that.”

“shut up, you wouldn’t know romance if it bit you in the ass,” you snap back, “so he’s a guy? what did he look like? did you talk to him? what did he say?”

“yeah, uh— he asked if i knew you,” tsukishima recounts, “and he wanted me to tell you he’s sorry for bailing, but something else came up.”

“anything else??” the eager glow in your eyes is suffocating as you stare him down, hungry for more details.

“yeah. he— he was kinda ugly.”

“…seriously?” you respond, half unimpressed with his attempt at a joke and half nervous that he isn’t joking at all.

“what, does that matter?” tsukishima replies mockingly, “i thought you liked him for his personality.”

“i do,” you jab, “and you know what, i don’t care what he looks like. and i certainly don’t care about what your salty ass thinks of him. i’m gonna message him right now, actually”

“have fun,” he says dismissively, turning to make his way out before pausing to pull a record from the vinyl collection on your shelf. “you like this album?”

“yeah, duh. it’s been one of my favorites for years.”

“huh. me too,” he replies, “it’s crazy how it stays with me. sometimes i swear i can hear it in my head while i’m asleep.”

“that’s funny,” you say, “my friend does the same thing. he hears it in his sleep.”

“heh. that is funny,” he mutters quietly as he turns to leave.

“tsukki—“ you stop him before he exits, “thanks for today. you’re not as awful as i thought.” a tentative smile graces your lips.

“whatever,” he mutters, quickly turning his face away from yours, “see you at work tomorrow.” as he retreats out the door, he prays you didn’t notice his blushing cheeks.

once tsukishima is out the door, you waste no time crafting a new message to your friend - but you find yourself struggling to piece together sentences as you snack on the ice cream tsukki brought you, the cold sensation easing your aching throat. was that really the same guy who’s been an asshole to you since the day you started working with him?

it’s incredible that the two of you even spent 2 minutes together without being at each other’s throats like usual, and even more so that someone as harsh and bitter as tsukishima would do something as kind as show up at your door with ice cream when you’re sick. he even said something to make you feel better - and it worked.

realizing that you’ve zoned out, you quickly snap your attention back to your message. but as you continue typing, you find your thoughts continually drifting back to the tall, bespectacled blond and his uncharacteristic kindness.

by the time you manage to write what you have to say and hit send, tsukishima is safely out of earshot when the new message pings on his phone.

he smiles and hopes that you figure it out soon, too.

a/n: i hope the ending for this one is clear addsdsdf,,,, i watched the entire roundabout she loves me revival to get inspired for this (and by get inspired i mean remember the plot details of she loves me bc i had only seen it once before lmao) tbh the narrative of this fic actually covers like 3 different songs, bc old musicals are weird and thought it was necessary to make looking for a shoe an entire number. anyways, all I have to offer you today is laura benanti being utter perfection and all of my love <3

taglist: @izagraceee​ @musicgetsmeoutofbed​ @azo-musxas​ @tsumurai @ghostlydiamond135 @animeboysimppp

[sunset-novice-writer]

Pinky Promises

Dedicated to: @blackgirlanimes

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I urge guys to please go check out her blog. Her writing is amazing, and Merch is my favorite series by her. Plus, I wanted to give something back since she works hard on filling requests. I feel that writers sometimes need to have time to enjoy reading things too. (No matter how much I sort of cringe at my writing. Lol ^-^;)

This is my first official post to my Novice Writing blog. Whatever happens, I put this out there. As the saying goes, “Practice  shows your effort.” Well, it's just a piece I got inspired by original songs I listened to too. Although the last bit at the end with some lyrics I came up with.

Hope you enjoy the writing of the unedited version. Let me know if you guys want a part two. I apologize in advance if anyone seems OOC it’s unbeta’d while it will be re-edited sometime later.

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Summary: Leaving to visit your birth parents in America was something exciting and sad for you because there was one person you would miss more than anything. An explosive blonde with harsh words though hiding behind what he really feels. You make a promise to return to him without fail in a year, and somehow you find yourself surprised instead.

Is it possible for you to make up after an argument leaves things up in the air ?

Contains: Bakugou Katsuki x Fem! Reader

Setting: |AU Modern |

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[ Scattered Pieces ] Part One

 There you were sitting on the steps of your house you’d dreaded this day for months. While listening to your music, the song of somber feelings made you blink your eyes to stop the tears from falling. Everything around you would be all but a vision of something so far away, that left you wanting to take in the view of cloudy weather.

The light shower of rain curled your hair a little, causing you to give a brief smile. A time for reminiscing is something that came naturally during a crucial moment like this. Still, what awaited on the other side of the country was a chance to learn about the family who gave you up. Maybe hope to leave the resentful feelings of being tossed away to give you some closure, or the real understanding of why you give up for adoption clearer.

One thing seemed to cross your mind all time leading up to the days of the departure. A certain explosive little porcupine that wouldn’t take the news well of you disappearing on him. 

Bakugou Katsuki…

First of many things that troubled you, the hurt he masked into dismissal with the egotistical nonchalant attitude you’d admired. During that moment you couldn’t stand him when he acted the way he did about you leaving for a year.  Then again, you found it annoying at the same time how his temper blew up like a grenade. Only leaving a reminder of the wreckage his words left you still fresh in your mind to ruin.

“See if I care, dumbass! Go on, back where you came from and let them abandon you again!”

It was almost as if you could hear the words echoing in your mind from that incident.As if it were happening once more which you felt nothing next to numb. All except the pain that etched on your face returned while you blinked your eyes to stop the tears. Beyond the surface it wasn’t like you wanted to leave, still this was your chance to find your own answers of your past.

Your lips trembled cursing at yourself for letting the tears slip away he knew that was something hurtful. All the fears of going to meet the parents who wanted to meet you made you second guess how to approach them. The only action you did toward his comment turned around shaking your head at him not letting words fall from your lips. Instead was nothing that left your lips as you remember staying still.  Thinking back on it, somehow you doubt even now he would come to see you off something inside you was fine with it.

How dumb were you like these getting angry after the fact when the moment is over?

 Whatever the case you were glad that you had said nothing during that moment, as your hand moved to wipe the tears from eyes you took a deep breath.   Whenever you faced your biological parents face to face you would deal with what came your way whether it be disappointing, or happy at least you’d get some answers. 

After all your parents wanted you to know where you came from while taking you to explain everything when they told you the truth.Something that you would be grateful for sure you could’ve been angry about them keeping this enormous secret. Yet. you knew your parents  worried about things you couldn’t understand as a child. Even if neither one of them had a connection by blood to you. 

You couldn’t help to be happy beyond words, you could express that  you got a life full of love, and sadly most kids like you don’t have time to experience. Reality of your situation, you got to have a home with these wonderful people though sometimes you felt a disconnect when you saw other of your peers with the parents.it was your adopted parents. Still, the days passed continuously since your encounter with Katsuki. You felt happy that at least despite the harsh words he left you with you.

“Maybe it’s better that I didn’t say everything I wanted.” You stated with resolve, your eyes would express another story of regret before you pinched your right cheek to snap you out of it. Your mopy thoughts needed to take a back seat. You wanted to face your actual parents, to ask everything you felt. In the back of your mind, you wanted to have his support behind you. 

You want to move forward to well really to get there then you plan to do next. Placing Bakugou at the back of your mind would be the best thing you could do for right now.

That would be fine, you could handle it, nothing would get in the way. Especially not the explosive blonde you were probably throwing himself into a distraction to avoid thinking of you. They had made sure they packed the luggage into the car the night before and learned that your father wanted to take a later flight instead of the current one.

Sweet little broccoli is calling you~ Never knew a broccoli could blush like a tomato, like a tomatoo--Oh yeah! I love you my sweetpea fresh like chili broccoli..~

A brief buzz came from your pocket causing you to let laughter burst from your mouth. You saved this as Izuku’s ringtone, much to his flustered expression every time he heard it with an embarrassment covering his face. You didn’t think it was that bad besides you worked on creating something like this for his Mom. An early mother’s day gift, so she wanted a ringtone that fitted her beloved son. So you helped him with it much how he was shy singing it, but you did it with him. At least you could find your spirits lifting a fraction. Before you answered the call you went to work on calming down your giggles first.

“Hey, Izuku. What’s up?”You questioned, you wondered why he called suddenly out of the blue like this, yet it was nice to talk to someone either way.Still, you heard him speak on the other of the line.

“Hey, [Name] is everything all right?” Midoriya's tone was curious, as if he was trying to figure more than she’d let on. Then you as if something told he wanted to talk about something else. He was very observant, though the thoughts of your conversation with Katsuki crawled back up, but you wanted to avoid it. 

“Mhm, I’m all right, Izuku.” Your voice relaxed, giving a bit of a chuckle that escaped your lips. In the event to stop him from trying to read too much in to what you wanted to hide.You smiled thinking of your trip besides you knew your doubts and worries came out of nervousness to be honest. 

“I’m ready to face my biological parents--to get the answers to my questions.” You continued there was a bite of bitterness in your voice which he caught.  

Why did you let that tiny swirling frustration come out of you now?

“[Name], is it really about that or is it about Kacchan..?” Izuku asked, his voice cut through your voice caught in your throat when he mentioned him. Now, you stammered with your own reply.

“N-No, it's not about Bakugou.” Damn it. You cursed you weren’t trying to sound stumble with Midoriya though he knew Katsuki just and you. Yet, you wondered what he knew about his outburst, though you didn’t want to go into it.

At your obvious lie, all you heard on the other sigh of the phone was him sighing at your stubbornness. What else could you say about the subject? He knew about what transpired, though you were sure where he learned it from. Either way, you didn’t see a point in just putting it behind a shade so you came clean.

“He’ll come around as hot-headed as Katsuki is.” Midoriya said while pausing for a moment. Still, you couldn’t help but agree with him. “I know he will see you off—He will miss you everyone will [Name].” He replied, you would miss him along with all your friends.

Hoping was all you could do for the moment was that Bakugou came through to say goodbye on better terms. A negative thought was lingering inside your head like a deathly plague he might not. When trying to predict his moods like was trying to disarm a ticking time bomb even though you knew he had moments of caring. It was just obscured by the rough edges of his personality, though you saw it more than most.

“I will take your word for it,Izuku.I just hope to see him one more time...” You smiled lightly, while conversing a little more with Midoriya longer before ending the call. Drifting further away from your persistent thoughts that resurfaced, you got saved from them. Your parents returned home with some takeout from your favorite place while you saw their car pull in the driveway. 

All your unease that made you restless to hear from one person disappeared. You wanted to at least hear his voice say his common catch phrase, or the fear you held made you more concerned to call him.

You stopped up at your front door to glance down at your iPhone, glancing at the screen saver you stored secretly. It was Bakugou Katsuki in his usual stance, though he sported a splash of color dusting his face a bright pink. His scowl was clear while crimson eyes held his glare with your arms wrapped around his waist. What happened that day made your smile return, though suddenly it dimmed altogether once more.

A confession that would stay hidden with which you want to tell him. A single tear fell from your eye that splashed on the screen of your phone. You bit back the sobs that wanted to escape your throat, deciding it would be better to compose yourself. You didn’t want your folks to make a fuss about why you felt sad moment.  You wanted to just forget and enjoy their company.  While that faint melody of the song you were playing echoed its somber words when you entered your house.

Let you hear the words I want to say…

Before I disappear never again to see your face…

I love with the confession of my feelings seemed to go unanswered.

Yet, they linger only for you..

Something that when unnoticed just outside your gate was the very boy you were thinking of now. He contemplated going to your door before growling in frustration turning on his heel walking back to his home.

“Damn it...” Katsuki wasn’t sure how he’d apologize to you that didn’t stop the prickling feeling that stabbed his chest. Your sobs only dug it deeply into how his words cut you. This whole situation was shitty to him you leaving hating to admit he would miss a lot than he expressed. He didn’t want to lose you even if it was to get your answers he wished to find those shitty parents of yours to tell them that. They shouldn’t have given someone like you up even if it was for a beneficial thing for you, yet it is a grateful feeling that he met you because of it.

At least that Deku told him when you’d be departing, so he’d make sure you’d come back. A promise he wanted to deliver before you went halfway across the country to get your answers..

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I can’t believe that I finished this at 2:37 AM. Hope everyone enjoys this blurb.  All that to see if you all want to see a Part Two. I’ll probably work on making masterlist sometime tomorrow.

[chaoslaura]

Angst 35 for willex

Angst 35: “ I loved you. I loved you so, so much, but you hurt me.” 

You really went to my messages and said ‘here I’ll give you a challenge’. Because this fic was the hardest for me to write yet. I needed days just to come up with an idea. I asked some people and they all had amazing ideas (special thanks to @chanihobbit) and then I settled on this. Ngl I made myself sad writing this and it has the most unhappy happy ending.

But here it is. Some warnings for Underage Drinking (for americans).

Read it on AO3

Alex and Willie didn’t meet long ago when Alex was taking a stroll along the beach promenade with an iced coffee in hand, clearing his head after an unpleasant morning in the Mercer household that would’ve left him screaming if he didn’t walk out the door.

Watching the people around him go on their own missions, alone or an arm hooked in someone else’s. They all had their reason to be out here today just like him and it calmed him to know he wasn’t the only one to walk this path right next to the sand with his own thoughts and story.

Unbeknownst to him a skater was not too far behind him, taking up tempo and enjoying the wind caressing his face, his long hair flying wild around his face.

For a short moment he couldn’t see anything as the hair blocked the view in front of his eyes and then he crashed into something with his whole body, or rather someone he learned quickly when that someone groaned under him with pain and then more with indignation for being run over.

Alex experienced a gay panic moment how Julie had said it when Alex retold the story to the band later that day at practice, unable to keep what happened to himself. Not when he met the most good-looking guy on earth, “Honestly, you guys won’t know what I mean if you don’t see it yourselves. He could be a model for all I know.”

It was a start for a friendship and months later, only after the band pushed him and gave him an hour-long pep talk, did Alex got the courage to confess his feelings. As it turned out did Willie feel the same, since the beginning, but he didn’t want to force himself on Alex, taking it slowly in fear or scaring Alex off.

It was easy with them all going to the same school and sharing their free time, all not living too far away from each other. The band and Willie got closer as well and not just Alex got a liking to Willie. He was around much more often as he didn’t really have a friend group before, joining for band practice and cheering them on.

Afterwards he and Alex would go for a walk with Willie’s skateboard and just talk, gazing at the sunset before Alex had to go home and they met again the next day with a peck on the lips and a sweet smile etched on their faces.

Willie was often alone in his too big home, with his parents gone almost all day long and no one else around to keep him company. He often invited Alex over to not let the loneliness consume him as it did sometimes the years before. They would cook together and watch movies, Alex would tease him for his bad taste in action movies and Willie would sit through every romantic romcom Alex showed him just to see a smile on his face he could gaze at from the side when Alex was too enraptured to notice him looking.

The remaining time they would lie side by side on his bed as soft music was playing in the background, staring at the ceiling and talk. Like they did on their walks and their dates on the beach and various museums. They were good with talking, able to tell each other everything without fearing rejection they so often had to undergo with their families.

Willie confided in Alex about his family and his fears, not knowing what to do after school, wanting to be free and just see where the world takes him, maybe going more into arts or staying in the music industry.

He had started a job at a record company not long before he met Alex and it was nice. He got the money to buy more art supplies to paint his boards, he could buy Alex little presents, it was good, but he wasn’t sure yet and Alex assured him he would follow along with whatever Willie decided for his future.

They may not be same character wise, but Alex friends couldn’t deny how good Willie was for Alex, calming him in ways the other needed years for, they just got each other without needing too much words, reading their emotions from their demeanour, how they would eat their breakfast or simply which shirt they wore that day. It was almost their own language, not the same Alex had with the band.  

On one of their many band sleepovers they talked about the future and Julie said she definitely wanted a wedding someday with Ray walking her down the aisle and she was sure she would cry because her mum couldn’t be there for her big moment but all of them would be invited so she had enough of her favourite people around her to feel whole.

Then Reggie had said Alex could marry Willie someday and Alex could just blush and sputter, because this was ridiculous, right? Right? They were all 18 now on their last school year with the future in their hands but he hadn’t thought about that kind of events in their lives yet. Willie and he had been together for 2 years now and everything had been slow with them, just how they had wanted it, it was them. But it did sound nice, he couldn’t deny.

He could say with confidence that the thing he had with Willie was serious and they talked about moving in together as soon as they had the money for it after school, escaping their homes and building lives of their own. With each other. Together they were stronger and needed each other the same as Alex needed the band.

They were so close to graduation and the band was successful, gaining attraction and gigs and they were so close to getting a breakthrough, they worked so hard it was tangible, just a bit more and they had reached their goal. They were working day and night, Luke keeping writing all the time, his head overflowing with ideas and inspiration, Bobby and Reggie helping him with chord progressions and harmonies, Julie giving input in lyrics and the flowing of words, and Alex was there to keep them together with his steady beat.

But then came the crash. Bobby was gone. Nobody knew what happened, there was no fight, no sign, no hint, he was just gone. From one day to the other. They came into the studio and his guitar was gone along with all his suspenders and laces for his boots. The loft without his changing of clothes, no toothbrush in the little bath when he was too lazy to trot up the path into the house after a sleepover.

When they asked Bobby’s grandparents living in the house next to their studio, they said Bobby moved to live with his father on the other side of the city, had planned it for months now.

Needing a day to let it sink in what they learned they weren’t wiser than before. Why wouldn’t he say anything to them? He couldn’t just go, leave the band and not say a word. Their last exams were over so they wouldn’t catch him at school and apparently Bobby didn’t want them to know where his father lived so with sadness in their eyes his grandparents didn’t tell.

Bobby didn’t answer his phone, might have changed his number and it was all so confusing. They were a guitarist short so close to their big gig and it was frustrating. The offers they hoped for never came, they hadn’t been good enough without Bobby, they were on square one again.

It took them a few months to get over the initial hurt but the aching in their hearts stayed. Bobby wasn’t only a bandmate of them, he had been a friend, a very good friend to all of them. Offering advice and a shoulder to cry on, participating in Reggie’s and Luke’s pranks and dumb midnight ideas when neither could sleep, easing Alex when he was anxious before a presentation, talking with Julie about missing their mums, having experienced the same, and when Willie walked into the picture he put a hand on his shoulder and welcomed him into their friend circle without batting an eye.

So for him just vanishing into thin air like a ghost, was so unlike him.

But eventually they had to move on without him. They took gigs even though their sound wasn’t the same without Bobby, searching for a new guitarist so they could take up their plan again and gain success even though they started 10 steps behind.

Band circles and friendly meet ups were weird at first but the whole period after finishing school was weird, having to find their footing in a new world.

Moving in as a band had been without a question after that whole thing brought them even closer together. Even though it had been Alex and Willie’s plan first they had to postpone. So they huddled together in a too small apartment for the four of them, working whatever job they could get to get the money for rent together, scraping by every month just like that.

Willie was still with his parents. Saving up for an apartment just for him and Alex, they had talked about it. They desperately needed more privacy just for them. Reggie crashing their movie dates, Luke sitting in the kitchen with them when they cooked together, Julie staying for their talk session, it could get frustrating when they needed some alone time.

Willie had been over last night for movie night and stayed afterwards like almost every night now as his relationship with his parents had gone down the drain. The space was scarce, but they managed, cuddling closer with their noses touching when they faced each other, stealing kisses every now and then until they drifted off to sleep, waking up as a tangled mess, the blanket wrapped around them.

The others would groan when they sat together at the breakfast table, talking sweet nothings in each other’s ears and giggling like they had only gotten together last week and not act like and old married couple the rest of the day.

All band members had work to do and left Willie on his own for the day, envious of his day off, while he was relishing in having the flat for his own to do whatever he wanted.

When Alex had finally gotten home slightly exhausted from talking to customers all day long, he was ready to fall into his bed and take a nap with Willie until Luke came home and started complaining about his day while sitting on Alex bed, ignoring the couple cuddling under the blanket and giving him annoyed stares. Luke wouldn’t leave until he was done, so much they had learned.

But when Alex entered with groceries in one arm, he heard Willie talking quietly, his voice subdued from the ajar door. Walking light footed into the kitchen to not startle or interrupt Willie’s call, he put the bag on the counter and started unpacking. From the kitchen he could see a small strip of his room and from time to time Willie when he walked by that space.

It must’ve been a heated call, Alex could see Willie talking animatedly, flaring with his harms while he whipped his hair around in annoyance. Alex was ready to give Willie more time to finish the call before he walked in to say hello and draw attention to him but then he heard something that made his blood freeze up, stilling in his movements, egg carton holding halfway in the air.

“Yes, I know, but – No, I said to you – Would you let me speak please? – Caleb hear me out, no you don’t – Caleb! I said I don’t want to have anything to do with Bobby – Ugh Trevor whatever I don’t care abo – oh my god could you just let me handle someone different, I told you back then I would never work with him and you promised me.”

Suddenly there was a noise behind him, and Willie stopped his walking to whip around and spot Alex in the doorway. Alex could still hear someone talking through the phone, the voice so loud the conversation could have only been an argument.

“Alex?” Willie asked with wide eyes, not having heard his boyfriend coming home and realizing his conversation could be heard through the door but knowing he had been caught in the act. “Caleb, I’ll call back.” Without waiting for an answer Willie hang up and let his hand with the phone in it fall down along with his shoulders, he looked almost defeated. “Can I – “

“Bobby, huh?” Alex interrupted his boyfriend. “I could assume it’s a different one, but your reaction says something different.”

Willie nodded slowly and crossed his arms in front of his body, going into his usual stance when upset, rubbing over his scar he got when he was young. Brushing the skin there whenever he needed comfort but couldn’t get in the moment, using the rhythmic motion as a mean to hold him grounded.

Looking up again to look into Alex eyes that conveyed only hurt he felt sick right away. It was never his intention to inflict any harm. But taking in Alex expression, it may be too late, and he had to live with the fact he himself did that to his boyfriend. “Alex, I – Can I please explain?”

“I’m not sure if I want to hear it if I’m being honest.” Alex voice was unusual cold towards Willie. They were always gentle to each other and this was a stark contrast, giving Willie whiplash from the sweet morning they had behind them.

Willie had hoped he could at least clear up the situation, he had to, make Alex understand. “We promised each other to hear the other out.”

Letting out a short dark chuckle Alex eyes pierced him down while he stayed in the doorway, kind of leaning against the wood but looking more tense than he let on. “Yeah, but we also promised each other to never hold any secrets and be honest with the other.”

It was silent for a moment, the words sinking in, Willie knew he was deep in shit, no way of talking himself out of it, his only chance to diminish the damage he had done.

Waving a hand in Willie’s direction Alex continued, “But okay, say what you want to say.”

Willie was more than relieved to get a chance to explain, taking a step closer to Alex, needing his presence near him but Alex held a hand out, making him halt. “No, you stay there. You stay there and start to explain. I stay here and listen and when you’re finished I – we’ll see.”

Swallowing once to get past the lump in his throat that dread had placed there, Willie searched for the right words. They had to be good otherwise Alex would never understand why he did what he did and why it all happened.

Clearing his throat, he started. “Okay, so, if you want to know everything, we have to go back a bit. Almost to the beginning of our relationship.” Oh how much Willie hoped this relationship would stay intact once he was done talking.

“You introduced me to your friends, and we all hit it off fairly well. I liked them and they all took me in not just as your boyfriend but as a friend as well and you guys started to invite me to your things. Whenever your friend group did something I was going now too and I had so much fun, really, you have amazing friends Alex.”

Daring to look into Alex face he could see him nod in understanding, but still waiting for the rest of the story so Willie goes on.

“It was on one of the parties we’ve gone to, honestly I can’t remember which on or what day it was.” Willie digressed, trying to waste time to gain more to find the right words, but he could tell Alex was growing impatient.

“Okay yeah doesn’t matter, anyway, I was in the kitchen and Bobby came in, he was wasted out of his mind and I got him some water and kept him in the kitchen so I could watch over him, but you know Bobby, when he’s drunk he eats your ear off and he started talking so much, first about nothing important but then he started to tell me about his family and how he missed his dad. I didn’t even know he was alive but I just nodded and hoped Bobby wouldn’t regret telling me anything in the morning.”

At the mention of Bobby, Alex eyes grew gloomy again, the aching in all their hearts still present, the way it never fully heals when a friendship brakes off, no matter how long it had been.

“But he didn’t stop with his dad. He told me how he hated seeing his grandparents growing old and how he had to move away anyways at some point when his grandparents couldn’t care for him anymore. Then he drifted to the band, talked about you guys. You have to know he really loved you, don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. He told me with such sincerity it was hard to listen to. But I guess for him this love had started suffocating him.”

Willie could hear Alex taking a deep breath from his place where he stood. It must be hard to hear all this at once.

“His words not mine, and he didn’t feel enough around you. He emphasised all your talents and I tried to get him to understand that he had that talent too, that he was in your band for a reason, but he just shook his head.”

While he talked Alex seemed to get sadder and sadder, for the first time hearing about Bobby’s inner turmoil, not once having said something to his friends at that time and that made Alex feel guilty, because what had he done to not gain Bobby’s trust, that he didn’t think he could confide in him or the others.

“What he said next made me worry first. He said he thought about quitting the band, more than once, quitting and going solo. Maybe it was because he felt he wasn’t good enough for you and would only drag you down or some other reason, he wasn’t clear. At this point I decided to bring him home because he was truly wasted and off his mind.”

“I brought him home and the next day he called me saying he wanted to talk. We met and he apologized for last night, apparently he remembered talking my ear off and was embarrassed cause he couldn’t remember what exactly he said. I repeated some of his words and he I swear to god he started crying. And after that we just kind of met up once in a while, just the two of us, talking about things and Bobby started talking about quitting again and I couldn’t steer him away from that, he wasn’t -”

“Okay, wait.” Alex interrupted him midsentence with a bewildered expression on his face, almost angered when it wasn’t for a few stray tears on his cheek, slowly making their way down. “He wanted to quit, and you didn’t tell me anything? So I could talk to him and make sure he knows how much we appreciate him?”

“Alex.” Willie said the name with sorrow, knowing it was too late now anyways to change anything about the past. “I wanted to; I really do. But Bobby made me promise not to tell anyone and I didn’t want to break his trust, he was my friend too, you know that.”

Alex sighed deeply but Willie knew that he understood that part as hard as it was.

When Alex didn’t say anything else, Willie picked up his story.

“We also talked about our future after school, like we all did, because it was scary, and I told him more about my job with Caleb and he was so interested from the first moment I should’ve known. It was pure coincidence that he met Caleb, I introduced Bobby and apparently they wrote with each other I learned at some point when I saw a mail from Bobby on Caleb’s computer. I asked Caleb about it, and he told me Bobby was interested in a contract with the company.”

“The first thing I did after that was walk to Bobby’s and confront him with it and we argued a bit and I thought that was it. Afterwards he didn’t talk about it ever again and Caleb didn’t mention it either. I really thought that was the end to it and your gig at The Orpheum was coming up and Bobby seemed normal, practicing with you and I wasn’t worried in the slightest.”

Willie’s voice grew a bit faster and louder to the end, his eyebrows furrowed. He had been so sure everything was going back to normal, but he had failed them all, foremost Alex in not confiding in him.

Alex knew as well as him what was coming now, at this part they were all on the same page. Willie now spoke with a small voice, waving his hands defeated in the air.

“So, you know, Bobby left and as soon as you told me I searched around at work and I actually found the contract, but I didn’t meet or saw Bobby, I swear. The last time I saw him was the same for all of us at the ice cream parlour.”

Alex took some measured steps, halting a mere few inches in front of him but Willie hesitated to reach out, being sure that Alex was still mad at him. “But why didn’t you say anything to us afterwards. You knew what Bobby was up to.”

“I thought-“ Willie’s throat was swelling up again as his eyes welled up, the hurt in Alex voice made him tear up and choke on his words.

“I thought now it didn’t matter anyways. He was gone and it wouldn’t help you feel any better when you knew he was building a career on his own and got a contract before you guys could score one even though you worked so hard for it for years. Besides that, I felt so guilty. If I knew sooner what Bobby had planned, that he would go through with it I would’ve tried to stop him or even tell you, but I didn’t. I could’ve stopped him, but I wasn’t able to and I thought you would be so disappointed with me or even angry because it’s my fault you lost a friend.”

Finally looking up at Alex when his tears started falling down his face, he didn’t make a move to stop them, now it was all out anyway. Now he had to wait for Alex to say anything, to judge him, weigh his words and then sentence him. Hopefully Alex wouldn’t be too harsh, even though Willie knew what he had done was equal to betrayal, the number one rule to not be violated in a relationship next to trust.

Alex dragged his hands over his face and then through his hair, biting on his lip before speaking up. His expression was unreadable due to the many emotions alternately playing over his face.

“I’m sorry Willie. I loved you. I loved you so, so much, but you hurt me.” 

The use of past tense hit Willie hard. Alex could’ve slapped him in the face, and it would’ve hurt the same. It was hard to breathe after hearing it.

“I’m sorry, but I need some time. Just- give me some days.” He added and walked away from him back into the kitchen while Willie’s tears fell freely from his face and it needed every will from him not to stretch out a hand to prevent Alex from walking away from him, without a glance back.

He sniffled some more, not even trying to stop his tears, as he rubbed with a hand over his nose. He felt so cold suddenly as if all the warmth of his life was being sucked out with Alex leaving the room and leaving Willie standing there all alone, not knowing if Alex could ever forgive him. How could Willie know that Alex would really call him in a few days, maybe he will change his mind and break up with him, he couldn’t be sure.

He just knew he was supposed to leave the flat so he packed the few things scattered around the room and slowly made his way to the door, only seeing Alex back where he was hunched over the kitchen counter, head hanging low, no doubt crying too. But Willie wasn’t allowed to comfort his boyfriend and it shattered his heart. Without another word he left.

Willie dived full into work mode after his schedule was cleared, not having to make space for Alex anymore. And he would rather keep himself busy than lay in his bed with his head in the pillow and cry till it was wet with his tears. Now he could cry for a few minutes in the bathroom stall and then pick up his task like nothing had happened. Washing his face and then greeting everyone like he was good.

To his astonishment Caleb held his promise and Willie wasn’t paired with Bobby to work with. It would’ve been traitorous to meet up with Bobby while the wounds where still fresh and open for his friends and Alex.

The days Willie promised Alex to keep away turned into two weeks and Willie grew impatient. Just one message that was all he wanted and needed.

Surprisingly to him the rest of Sunset Curve had reached out and he met Julie, Reggie, and Luke, and they had talked things through. Willie repeated his story and he could tell his friends were hurt too but against his expectation were quick to forgive him. Understanding the situation Willie had been in. Breaking the trust of either Bobby or the others, there wouldn’t have been a happy ending for him either way, but Willie was frustrated it had affected Alex in the aftermath. The one person he promised to never hurt, and he went and did it anyway.

It was nagging at him day and night and the others were making sure he wasn’t falling in a hole too deep and Willie hoped they managed to do the same with Alex. Unless Alex was good at living without him, but Luke revealed that Alex wasn’t coping well either. Willie wasn’t sure if he liked it better hearing that.

One day Willie came home to the big house with his parents gone again and crawled right into bed. Exhaustion from work and life in general noticeable in his bones, desperate for some relieve in form of a nap. Too tired to make something to eat only for him, where was the fun in that anyways.

Wrapped up in his blanket and head pressed into the pillow he didn’t need to tell his eyes twice to close and he was ready to drift off when his phone suddenly ringed. Groaning he reached out with one hand to grab his phone from the nightstand, only opening one eye to take a glance at the caller name.

Suddenly both his eyes flew open upon seeing Alex written on his screen, sitting up and throwing the blanket off. Without hesitation he accepted the call.

“Alex?” Willie hoped it didn’t sound too hopeful in case Alex was crushing his feelings the next second.

“Hey. Willie? Can we talk?”

[loki-hargreeves]

Loki x Reader - You Dedicate A Song To Him (Karaoke)

Warnings: alcohol consumption, vulgar language, secondhand embarrassment, fluff? just some fun (?) content and soft!Loki for a change  Word Count: 3,000+ Summary: After moving to Midgard, Loki joins the Avengers. You’re an Avenger too and after a mission gone well, you decide to celebrate. That’s when Loki sees your drunken side. You seem to be both intoxicated with alcohol and the god of mischief himself. Author’s Note: Please know that everyone is different when they’re drunk. I wrote this based on what I’m familiar with. For once, I tried to keep angst out of this. I tried. Besides, writing soft!Loki is actually fun. Please enjoy! 😊

Third POV

The night had gotten a wild start and the chaos didn’t seem to be ending any time soon. Y/N had returned from a mission with her teammates after spending a week in the cold woods of Siberia. Once they reached their mission target and came back home, they were more than happy to celebrate their victory. After all, it felt great to be back after such hard work.

Loki was one of her teammates. He was new to the Avengers and they still didn’t trust him, nor did he believe they ever would, not completely. Despite the fact Loki had told them about Thanos, it didn’t seem to change much. Luckily, Y/N seemed to appreciate him. Even the kid, Peter Parker, dared to at least attempt to try to Loki. Even if the god didn’t vocalize it, he appreciated both of them. Especially Y/N. They had gotten much closer during the mission. They had split up and worked in pairs. Luckily, Loki had worked with her and they learnt a lot of each other. Y/N was much older than she appeared. The root of her powers was older than any living human on Midgard. Centuries ago, her family had been cursed by a witch. The rest of her family had unfortunately died, but Y/N, back then still a child, had fallen into a deep sleep. She had woken up from it after being disturbed by HYDRA. The evil organization had tried to take use of her powers. At least, she learned how to control them, but under the wrong circumstances.

That’s why she was so happy to be an Avenger. She could put her powers to good use. Besides, she felt understood while talking to Loki. He too had gone through terrible things.

So here they were, at a bar in the city that never slept.

But Peter was too young to drunk, which meant Loki would celebrate with Y/N. He did not expect the night to turn out the way it did.

The mortals had taken shots of something that smelled awfully sweet, which was why Loki had declined. Midgardian booze was nothing like the booze they had on Asgard. Unfortunately, Asgard was destroyed and the inhabitants of New Asgard back in Norway couldn’t magically get the ingredients from the destroyed realm. Alcohol wasn’t important for Loki, so he didn’t mind. He had a glass of red wine and he did his best to keep up with Y/N and the rest.

After several drinks that had burnt her throat, she began to loosen up and relax – if embarrassing herself counted as relaxation. It took a while for the alcohol to take a toll on her, but once it did, she was wild. It even surprised Loki, who had seen a lot in his long life.

“It’s my turn!” Y/N seemed beyond excited when the man called her name on the karaoke stage.

Loki had no clue what would happen. “Have fun,” he wished her sweetly, watching her get up and squirm through the people in order to reach the stage. Some people whistled when they saw her, which Loki didn’t necessarily like, but he had learned it was common in such places that were full of drunk people. People could be dirty. Some were simply dumb.

The song began to play and right off the bat, the people that recognized the song hurried onto the dance floor. For some reason, the lights on the dance-floor turned pink, making the aura of the place feel very intense, almost romantic. Loki didn’t think much of it, not yet. Although, Loki knew she would probably be embarrassed in the morning, he was happy to see her happy. When she was sober, she was definitely more closed off.

“Hey, Loki!” Y/N yelled his name in the microphone as the music blasted in the background. It threw him off guard and he tilted his head to look at her, afraid she’d say something foolish. “This one’s for you!” She continued proudly, making heads turn into Loki’s direction. Some people cheered her on.

Dear gods…

For me? He thought, confused. Was she serenading him? Was this normal Midgardian behavior?

Loki felt his cheeks heat up from embarrassment. He wasn’t used to people showing him any signs of affection this publicly. Bucky and Sam, who were nearby, couldn’t resist their laughs as they heard Y/N. The duo were good friends with Y/N and they did their best to get along with Loki. It wasn’t the worst, but sometimes they got on Loki’s nerves. Just like they did now. To make it worse, they headed to Loki’s direction and squeezed into the booth, sitting with him. They really wanted to make the most of the moment, didn’t they? They were practically gleaming!

Instead of brushing her off completely, Loki simply smiled and hid his embarrassment by taking a sip of his drink, hiding his face while doing so. Loki had fun, knowing he would remember this perfectly the next day, but he also wished he could be swallowed whole by the booth he sat in.

“I didn’t know there was something between the two of you,” Sam teased Loki a little bit, hoping not to push his buttons. Honestly, he was too drunk to really care.

Loki only shot him a cold glare, clueless as to what he should say. What lead Sam to the conclusion that there was something between them? Sure, they were close – that was undeniable, but it wasn’t romantic. Or was it? Nothing was set in stone, so Loki assumed what was between them was purely friendly banter with some innocent flirting. Alright, he had to admit he did feel for her, but he would never act on it. She was so…good.

That’s when she began to sing.

(True – Spandau Ballet) “…So true, funny how it seems, always in time, but never in line for dreams. Head over heels when toe to toe. This is the sound of my soul, this is the sound-“

Y/N wasn’t drunk; she was wasted.

Yet her singing sounded good. Loki would’ve focused more on her beautiful voice if it wasn’t for the lyrics. It had only been a few seconds, but he could feel his heart pounding against his chest. What was happening?!

“…I bought a ticket to the world, but now I've come back again. Why do I find it hard to write the next line? Oh, I want the truth to be said!” Y/N sang surprisingly clearly, never taking her eyes off Loki. It appeared the alcohol gave her a boost of courage. Loki couldn’t imagine ever stepping foot on that stage. He’d rather stay in the safety of the booth nearby.

By now, some of the drunken people had begun to sing along. Although it seemed like everyone else was having fun and ignoring Y/N’s feelings, Loki noticed it. She seemed serious, although she was drunk. He felt that she meant some of the things she sang, she basically poured her emotions into it. Could it truly just be the alcohol?

“…With a thrill in my head and a pill on my tongue, dissolve the nerves that have just begun. Listening to Marvin (all night long!). This is the sound of my soul, this is the sound-

Always slipping from my hands, sand's a time of its own.  Take your seaside arms and write the next line, oh, I want the truth to be known…”

As odd as it was, Loki began to relax a little bit. Perhaps, it wasn’t that bad. There was a saxophone break in the song and Y/N stood there in silence for a while, as a sweet smile decorated her face. She seemed to happy. Whatever it was she was doing, she enjoyed it and Loki adored that. Even if it was just a drunken thing, it was nice. Surely, it would make him question things later, but Loki would try to push his thoughts away. He was a master at that.

“…This much is true, this much is true (huh huh), this much is true, I know, I know, I know this much is true…” as the song came to an end, some people applauded cheerfully, having clearly enjoyed the song Y/N had chosen to perform. She got off the stage after handing over the microphone to the man controlling the karaoke system.

“Wherever you are, Loki, someone sure adores you!” The man said into the microphone, clueless to who Loki actually was. Just like that, someone else got on stage and another song began to play. Loki didn’t have time to think over it as Y/N returned to the table, squeezing her way next to Loki, which she had to do by crawling over Bucky and Sam. She looked a little clumsy doing so.

“I hope you liked it!” Y/N said loudly over the music and grabbed her drink, sipping on it excitedly. Her behavior fascinated Loki.  

Loki felt someone kick his leg under the table. The next moment, Bucky just smirked at him, as if he was trying to silently hint something. It was a different side from the man Loki was used to seeing at the compound. Ignoring the super soldier, Loki returned his attention to Y/N. “It was amazing,” he told her, seeing how happy it made her. Loki might’ve been cold to others, even frightening, but over time he had learned to let his guard down with her and he enjoyed it.

“That was so cheesy Y/N,” Bucky joked, making the woman roll her eyes.

“What? The song is iconic!” She argued playfully, not minding Bucky’s comment. They were friends, after all.

“If you want an iconic love song, you should try Careless whisper!” Sam butted in, almost wishing she would sing it. That would definitely make the mighty god flustered!

Sam’s suggestion seemed to thrill Y/N. “Sam, you’re a genius!” She slurred. “I should totally sing it.”

Bucky had to cut off her joy, “too late, doll. It’s too late to sign up.”

“Fuck!” She cursed, making the men laugh, and then she leaned against Loki’s shoulder, as if it was the most normal thing to do. Loki tensed up when he felt her head against his body. What was she doing? Why didn’t he mind it? He wished dearly that she wouldn’t bee too embarrassed all sobered up. “You’re soft.”

“What?” Loki spat out in shock. Bucky and Sam exchanged surprised looks, making it very clear they were drunk which definitely made them think like teenagers. How infuriating.

“Your jacket! ‘s so soft, Loki,” Y/N mumbled and rubbed her fingers up and down Loki’s arm. She seemed enthralled by the material of his clothes.

Loki looked at her drowsy smile and knew she would fall asleep soon if she stayed like that. She was quite comfortable by Loki’s side. Perhaps too comfortable, because falling asleep in a bar wouldn’t be ideal. Loki put on a tough face and acted like he didn’t care too much, “Are you tired?” He asked her. He would gladly take her to the safety of her own bed. It was getting quite late.

“Me? Tired? You must be joking!” Y/N denied the obvious truth, her cover breaking even more as she yawned. With anyone else, this type of behavior would annoy Loki, but he had to admit she was quite precious like this. It was the contrary of her Avenger self. She could be scary while in action. He had also figured out she was a skilled actress, or liar as some would say, which clearly didn’t apply to her drunken state.

“Thor and the others already left,” Bucky informed them casually. It meant that they were the only ones still at the bar.

If even Thor had left the party, it must’ve been quite late!

“I’ll just finish… er- I’ll finish this drink,” Y/N bought herself a little more time while holding onto her half-empty glass. It was fair enough.

              By the time she had finished her drink and they had gotten out of the warm and loud bar, Y/N had to hold onto Loki to stay on her feet. Loki, Sam, Bucky and Y/N could’ve called for a safer ride to the compound, but the three drunk Avengers got into a cab and Loki had to join them. He was too worried of what kind of trouble they would get into if he let Y/N out of sight. Sam sat in the front, chatting with the driver as the rest were in the back. Y/N was in the middle seat and she still leaned against Loki. He didn’t mind it. Loki had his arm wrapped around her shoulders, which made it easier to sit in the small car. It was definitely a tight fit.

“You smell good,” she kept mumbling the weirdest things. Loki didn’t show it, but her words affected him more than she’d ever know. He knew she was drunk, and it could all be drunken nonsense, but her little compliments felt oddly nice.

They finally arrived at the compound and surely enough, the alcohol had lulled her into a heavy sleep. Loki sighed once he realized he had to carry her. It wasn’t a problem for him, but he knew he would hear about it for weeks if his brother caught a sight of them. Thor was an oaf who knew exactly how to piss off Loki if he wanted to. He supposed it was just part of brotherhood.

The path was clear, which was a relief for Loki. Her body was limp in his arms. Loki wondered how many people would ever dare to put their unconscious bodies near him. It was clear to him that she trusted him, which meant more to him than he wanted to admit.

It was nearly five in the morning once Loki had put Y/N on her bed. Kindly, he took off her shoes and wrapped her blanket above her so she wouldn’t wake up cold. Knowing she would definitely have a headache in the morning, Loki decided to put a glass of water on her nightstand. Just as he was about to leave, she caught his attention once more.

“I like you…so, so much…” The woman mumbled, half-asleep.

Loki looked at her in shock. He told himself she was just drunk, but nevertheless, her words made his heart swell and blood rush through his body. It was sweet of her. Deep down, Loki wondered if she spoke the truth. If she did, he would be really thrilled about it. Nervous, too. It had been a very long time since Loki last cared for anyone romantically. “Sleep well, Y/,” He brushed his thoughts away. She had already fallen back to sleep. Then he retreated to his own quarters. Despite how strange the night turned out to be, he had a good time. Who would’ve thought? Prince Loki of Asgard had a good time in the middle of drunk mortals.

                   Morning came and Loki decided to get up. He hadn’t gotten much sleep, but he was a god, so it didn’t affect him too much. He decided to use the gym while the rest were still asleep or taking care of their hangovers. During the entire morning, Loki failed to get Y/N off his mind. He wondered how she would react to him now that she was sober. How much did she remember? Would she be embarrassed?

A ’swoosh’ sound of the doors sliding open caught Loki by surprise. He hadn’t expected company at the gym. He took a break from running and he turned to look at the door.

Y/N stood there, frozen in shock as she looked at the god – covered in a thin layer of swear, only wearing green top and black trousers.

Memories flooded to her mind at the sight of him. She faced away from him, seemingly embarrassed. “Oh…hey,” She broke the silence. Her voice was a little harsh, probably because of last night.

“Good morning, Y/N. How do you feel?” Loki wondered. He was genuinely curious to know how that amount of alcohol affected her.

She avoided eye-contact with him by playing with her water bottle. “Well, it could be worse. It’ll pass,” She answered his question.

Loki knew she remembered, possibly more than he expected her to. If he didn’t ask her about it, she would probably act like this around him for a long time. With a sigh, he stepped off the treadmill and walked closer to her. Loki was a little nervous to mention it, but he knew how to hide his own feelings. “How much do you remember?

His question made her eyes open wide and she seemed to get flustered. “Too much,” Y/N was quick to say. “Look, I’m sorry, Loki. I must’ve put you in such an uncomfortable situation. I understand if you don’t want to see me right now.”

Was she serious?

“Don’t be silly,” Loki was quick to reassure her, “I’m alright. It was quite amusing, I must say.”

A smile grew on her tired face. Loki could almost feel her relief radiate to him. He had no clue she’d be so nervous. Did it mean that she had meant the things she said? Or was she simply embarrassed?

“Thanks for getting me inside. I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you either. Gosh, I was so drunk!” Y/N quickly saw the humor in the situation and giggled at herself.

Did she have any idea what she was doing to Loki? “I couldn’t just leave you, now I could I have?”

A/N: I really wish you enjoyed this! Your feedback and/or a reblog would make me so happy <3 I heard the song on my playlists and that’s where I got the idea for this fic. 

[thekidsarentalright]

PLEASE explain why they are depressing. i love reading your analysis :')

ahh ok ur wish is my command!!! i'm gonna put it all under the cut tho, just so it isn't too long <3!!

miss missing you- miss missing u is so depressing to me for multiple reasons, the easiest one to explain being the music vid. To go deeper than that, the song was originally something Patrick started to write for solo music but thought it sounded like a fob song, meaning that the lyrics are a mish-mash of patrick's voice AND pete's which is like . ah. and then its my belief that the song is Very Very much so a song about the hiatus like talking about missing the feeling of missing someone? on the album right after the hiatus? feels very hiatus-y to me! and emotionally destroys me! it's just disguised as a romance-y breakup song. that aside, the lyrics themselves are just so sad, "sometimes before it gets better, the darkness gets bigger / the person that you take a bullet for is behind the trigger / oh, we're fading fast" is just . very obviously sad . and then the 2nd pre-chorus "I will sing to you every day / If it will take away the pain / Oh, and I've heard you got it, got it so bad / 'Cause I am the best you'll never have" strikes me as particularly devastating bc the whole song is painted as like this person is finally moving on from this relationship but clearly still thinks abt whomever they left and still Misses that person in a way . they would Still sing to them every day to make them happy!!! they WERE their picket fence i mean . feelings like that don't vanish!!! it fucks me up!

fourth of july- fourth of july is sad for similar reasons to mmy, i think. it's about a fleeting relationship, possibly a summer fling, that is obviously over at the time of the song. the relationship was just a 'what-if', though, that the narrator obviously felt Deeper about than the other half did. and the narrator knows this, questioning what that summer meant to the other person and Admitting that they miss their company, as if that's a bad thing to be honest about. but then the narrator goes back and says they didn't mean it, they were just being dumb and young and well, it was just a fling! it wasn't meant to be! the narrator says they'd never miss them, but it looks they were wrong. the second verse flips it and the narrator suddenly sounds Very cocky, talking about how the Other person must miss them and need them bc the narrator is holy water and stuck in their ex's head. the narrator Knows the other person cried about the relationship ending. But once again doubles back and says it means nothing UNTIL the bridge where they say "I wish I'd known how much you loved me / I wish I cared enough to know / I'm sorry every song's about you / The torture of small talk with someone you used to love", showing that they wonder if they were actually holy water to the other, that they regret not making feelings clear before and feel bad for writing about them. the entire song is just. my god. my fucking god i don't have words. the relationship was fleeting and yet meant the world to the speaker. thats so sad.

favorite record- fav record is awfully depressing to me bc it follows similar themes as the last two? the first verse is all a question, right? the narrator is asking if the other person remembers driving under purple skies, listening to rancid, if they remember when the narrator confessed to them and they danced. it seems like a lovely recollection of a love confession that the narrator remembers SO well, every detail is laid out. but then the chorus reveals that maybe the confession didn't go so well, where the narrator is talking about the person in the past-tense, you WERE the song stuck in my head, every song that i ever LOVED... it paints a very sad picture of the outcome of that relationship. the narrator felt so strongly for this person and loved them so much, associated them with all their favorite music and it just... didn't work. The second verse is super sad too bc they then say, 'i Cant remember just how to Forget' which is like... the opposite message miss missing you is sending. The narrator can't remember how to forget this person, or how they danced and how they were asked how they were doing by their old love as if they Know their doing better now or something? but the narrator isn't. they still miss them. All of that is just so... the picture it paints is so sad. Especially the lyric 'you can get what you want but its never enough'... the relationship might've worked for a bit, as the narrator wanted. but it didn't work.

heaven's gate- so this is like fobs most romantic song but also simultaneously SO sad bc . the whole idea of the song is that the narrator is so in love with this person that they want to be with them forever, even after death. And they're convinced their lover will make it into heaven no problem, but are equally as sure they themselves won't get it. No, they'll have to sneak in, they want their lover to sneak them in so they can be together. but the narrator is just so sure they themselves are heaven bound but are SO in love, their lover is just the one habit they can't kick, after all. It's sad and romantic all twisted up in such a beautiful package, thinking about the song for too long gives me brain damage <3

jet pack blues- to me this song is really like . about one side of the relationship dying which is off the bat So fucking sad ok so go w me here: the narrator is dealing with grief of their partner dying (could be considered a real or metaphorical death of the relationship idk), they're walking around the city thinking of their love and the relationship... if the relationship was real, if they were ever in love or just lonely, how they remember the person begging for them to come back n now it's just all gone. their the last one their love will ever remember. "Don't you remember how we used to split a drink / it never mattered what it was, i think / our heads were just that close / the sweetness never lasts you know" is very retrospective, very much telling that the narrator has a lot of regrets in the relationship and is aware now that the sweetness of a new relationship is fleeting. So fuckin sad.

just one yesterday- this is the most obvious sad one i think? the entire song is just the narrator having guilt and regret about Something, and wishing they could just go backwards in time to relive Before things went wrong, before the person they're singing about thought they were bad news which they Know! they know they're bad news but still would save everything for the person they're singing to, and just... wishes so deeply they could go back and have just one more yesterday. i think the bridge might very well be the Other person singing to the narrator, saying they could spill everything they know about the narrator but that it'd be devastating to them and their reputation. clearly this is about a relationship that ended poorly, with one person resenting the other while the narrator recognizes what they did was wrong and wants it all back- but will never get it back. ow <3

[nicknellie]

Honestly the fact that March is in two months is actually horrific. Also that’s a mood, my sleep schedule has been weird due to Covid as well. (and technically good night to you when I get this down in like the next hour)

Box stuff

1. Exactly, Alex tells Luke how exactly to get back on good terms with his parents and at the same time tells him how dumb he was but lovingly and of course since it’s Alex Luke immediately listens.

I love that, also he was close to his teachers. Like he would be the one to tell them if Luke (for example) had a bad night and to let him skip the class and the teacher would begrudgingly agree just because they know that Alex is true to his word and will make sure that he’s caught up on everything. Honestly I don’t really feel like Alex is a teachers pet as well but he did get along with his teachers.

Actual points (that did make sense)

Oh my goodness yes, Emily will deliberately try to remember embarrassing Luke stories just so Alex can bring it up.

‘Bold words for someone who cried when they didn’t get to go on the tea cups’

Precisely, they gave the chance for Luke to make up with Emily if he wished because they didn’t really have anything to say to their parents. Agreed, and that’s some thing I hope season two expands on because they had to have friends outside of the band even if they were closer with the band than anyone else they definitely had some acquaintances. Imagine people making tributes 🥺 (honestly I feel like they were all kind of done with school and that Bobby if he didn’t quit like the other boys then he probably did not return). But I love that idea. I feel like Alex had a little sister as well, and that’s a really good theory I feel like it would make sense that Mitch and Emily were a bit more overprotective about the band and everything if they had a miscarriage. Because they want Luke to do so well that to them committing himself to a band that might not take off wasn’t the path to go and they were worried. Agreed, honestly if anything sometimes I just think to myself that the three of them are only children however I feel like it would also work if they had a younger or older sibling (Alex having a younger one and Reggie having an older one).

That’s relatable I’ve had quite a few songs I’ve only listened tofor a bit and then immediately fall in love with them. I hadn’t heard the song before but I checked it out and I agree. If you like it is some thing that Rose wrote towards them just to remind them not to give up. Because, while wake up was personal to Julie and to remind her to keep doing music this song would kind of be Roses way to say all the words she never got to say but not like in an Unsaid Emily way. (Exactly how you said it lol)

I feel like they had a piano as well, so one day Julie does play it for them and it’s so sad.

3. Oh my goodness, Willie setting the kitchen on fire and then Alex trying to help him is everything. And yes he does need to be banned from the kitchen, is the type who would burn water. Yes, every single time Luke and Reggie try to receive the book for Alex just so that he has something to look at but he’s just like ‘nope I don’t need it anymore’

Board games and jam (that is honestly just monopoly and among us at this point)

1. I’m glad this made you laugh because I find it hilarious as well. And that’s exactly what happens because Alex waits for Reggie to be completely unprepared and just like Luke he sends a drumstick at him.

Honestly I’m the one who wrote the sentence and at first I interpreted that way as well. Just like Alex has thrown drumsticks of the band so many times that he has perfected his skills is so true.

He does and Willie is just crying laughing in the corner because Alex is throwing drumsticks at Caleb. I love how Alex just doesn’t stop and Caleb eventually it’s just like okay I guess I will continue on with my evil speech. But he continues to get hit with drumsticks, although he doesn’t understand how.

Among us

I love that so much. That is exactly what happens and bonus points if Alex looks Willie straight in the eye when he kills him. And Alex isn’t even subtle about it he legitimately just follows Willie and kills him immediately.

That is so cruel but hilarious. Building off of that idea a little bit the first time someone finds Luke’s body is Alex and he runs away. After that round Luke is so hurt but Alex is like we’re all just going to be suspicious of each other and there’s no point.

How Flynn has the rules memorized no one understands but she will legitimately say ‘in section B point 2 it says blah blah blah’ and she is always correct.

I love the example you chose was someone, probably Willie, moving three squares instead of two and Flynn just loses it. (bonus points if just like Alex she will throw something at you but it’s usually the rule book and or her piece)

I do have to agree with you but at the same time Alex being friends with Flynn and the two of them plus Julie making friendship bracelets is adorable to me. But with your point, legitimately they are always in agreement together. One time Alex even lies about the rules and just because Flynn is done with Luke, she will agree with him.

I do have to agree with you, I may not start arguments but I am definitely the type to be like ok this is your turn and you have to go twice ect. And as we should

Alex never has any pity for Reggie struggles, legitimately Reggie will not understand how Uno is played and Alex will just be like ‘oh sad, now draw 4’ (I have no clue why I chose Uno but that’s the route I’m going down)

Numbers

2. That was exactly my intent. And yes, Alex does say that.

6. Honestly Willie trying to have a discussion with Alex and then Alex just panicking while the guys are laughing in the corner is everything.

Actually I haven’t seen Miranda before but I will have to check it out and the American version because anything that has Cheyenne Jackson in it needs to be seen at some point. I don’t know why but that just gives me total Alex energy like Willie just offhandedly asked him about some thing and Alex is immediately agrees although in real life the statement is very false. (Honestly I feel like we’ve already talked about three AU here but you definitely should)

8. Luke- yes he is very selfless which upsets Alex who usually is the one who reminds him to proceed with his day and do things. Also agreed, the band means so much to him that he couldn’t be cocky even is he tried (unless it’s about the others talents)

Reggie- I love his solo in stand tall as well, I don’t think you’ve mentioned that before but that lyric is really good from now or never. (Honestly part of the reason why I love those song so much because both Alex and Reggie have solos in them)

I haven’t listened much to his new EP either but I’ve listened to Uh oh and ballerina (really good)

Alex- exactly, honestly I feel like that scene was kind of uncharacteristic on Luke’s part. Because throughout the show we see him being supportive of Alex and trying to get Alex to appreciate his talent more (after now or never basically him being like Alex you killed it come on) so him basically saying that they don’t need drumming anymore is a bit weird.

Precisely, whenever anything goes wrong they usually turn to Alex because although it may not go the best way he’s always the best person to handle it

Bobby- same here, it’s easier to talk about a character if you know how exactly they are/how they react to things

Umm this is painful. Thinking about Luke being left behind hurts, also your right. Honestly I feel like if any of them and Luke especially lost each other then they would probably lose music because the greatest attachment they have to music is each other. (Which for Luke is a big thing) oh my goodness thinking about him going to the studio and just crying because he’s thinking about the boys is everything. Also thinking about Luke unconsciously going home and just seeing the boys in simple stuff that his parents are doing is heart crushing. Aw just Luke and Emily going to hug each other is adorable, honestly it would be amazing to see him talk about the fact that he lost the boys and then slowly she becomes supportive of his music and, despite what I said earlier, eventually he releases a tribute to them.

17. Yes exactly, bonus points if the wave that Caleb does is the one that he did after Alex says ‘Willie and I. I mean I wouldn’t call it magic’

‘Do what you gotta do’ and nothing to lose are some of the best technically villain songs and Cheyenne Jackson does such a good job at them that honestly seeing his character turn good would be sad. (But that would also mean more songs in general possibly and not losing the character so it’s hard to decide)

19. Exactly, they all just end up attacking each other with snowballs that it’s hard to keep alliances. Also yes, Willie has a really keen eye for perfect moments to throw snowballs.

Agreed, it will be exciting to see them grow as actors and also how they grow in general because as you spend more time with castmates you get closer to them and that chemistry is more evident on screen which will also help out. It’s interesting because the show has kind of like a perfect balance of actors who are in stuff before so they have previous acting experience and actors who haven’t really. So seeing them get more recognition especially for the ones who have been in stuff before but aren’t really recognize/popular because of that is amazing. (also the fact that quite a few of them have picked up learning a new instrument and or in general can play quite a few instruments so I hope that they will experiment with that during the second season)

Agreed, just wouldn’t want the show to have too many villains to the point where it gets overwhelming and just repetitive. Honestly Willie turning the ghost club into a skate park just out of spite for Caleb would be amazing.

I have no clue why but the ‘you’d better run’ made me think of that ‘why are you running’ vine and now I can see Carlos saying that just to be funny.

21. Oh yea Willie almost got arrested while he was alive. Honestly if anything I think that he was running from the cops before he died so he was almost going to get arrested for sure.

Exactly, bonus points if it’s Alex who actually did the graffiti just because he knew that Reggie was upset and although he teases Reggie so much, he will be the first one to say something if anyone ever hurt him.

25. Exactly, also love the ‘she’s going to kill me again’ like Caleb is scary but if you hurt Alex then Carrie is most definitely scarier. That’s how the talk goes, word from word. And yes although Carrie is more so all bite no bark, the boys would’ve definitely killed willie if he hurt Alex. They would find a way, it’s definitely possible. I feel like while all of them would know that Willie wouldn’t actually hurt Alex. They say that just in case because they love Alex and if there’s a slight chance that someone could hurt him then they want to make sure that the person knows repercussions will happen.

They are perfect for each other lol

32. Exactly, and Alex just brushing off the dirt of Reggie‘s jacket and being the mom friend is very in character. Also the handing over the cookies, and Bobby goes with him just to make sure that Reggie doesn’t get lost again. (Luke was probably with Reggie when he got lost and or is the one who wandered off and lost Reggie while doing so)

37. He can do the impossible though I feel like that’s definitely canon. It does makes sense, if anyone can be trusted to do something that is hypothetically impossible it’s definitely Reggie. It will definitely be done in the weirdest way but Reggie will always pull through.

Oh my goodness ‘the timeout corner’ I love that. They are preschoolers thought especially with lighters. Yes, that is the only time Alex did not realize that Reggie had a lighter and of course it was the time that Reggie set Luke on fire. (Love the fact that you said he was panicking because he knows that he will be put in a time out)

I want a Reggie and Julie duet as well, it would be so amazing. And yes that is the title. They have another one that’s pure country because Luke won’t let Reggie have a country song.

Omg I’m so sorry, I’m really dumb and I thought I had posted this forever ago but turns out I just had it saved to my drafts! Aksbdkdk sorry lmao

March is in two months??? That doesn’t sound right. March was like a week ago. I hate this.

Good *insert time of day here* for whenever you read this!!

Box stuff:

1. Yeah exactly! And like what if it’s not just that it’s Alex so he listens, but it’s Alex so it makes sense? As in, if anyone else was telling him he’d wouldn’t get where they were coming from but because Alex takes the time to really explain what’s going on Luke actually gets it (even if he doesn’t want to get it, but Alex can tell when he’s just being difficult and petty)

Omggg I love that! Like he’d arrive to class early to tell them to make sure nobody else heard. And it gives a whole new meaning to his line “I’m pretty sure that was just a you thing. I was always pretty trustworthy ☺️” because like if any of the other boys (especially Reggie) tried it then they wouldn’t have got anywhere at all but just everyone trusts Alex

Actual points:

Agskdlsld I love that also “bold words for someone who once got his head stuck in a lampshade” “SHE TOLD YOU THAT?!?!”

Oooooh I never thought about them dropping out of school but that would make a lot of sense (especially for Luke dropping out because of all people he wouldn’t have seen any need to stay). And exactlyyy they would have had to have other friends and they must’ve been upset by their friends dying so like??? And the idea of people making tributes hurts my heart - like, putting flowers or whatever outside their old lockers at the school, no matter if they were still in school or not, just as their way of saying goodbye, or making sure nobody sat where they used to sit in class. And having a whole-school assembly where they played Sunset Curve’s demo and talked about how inspirational the boys were and I’ve gotta stop or I’ll cry. And yesss because if Luke was their one shot at having a child, something they had dreamed of for years, they’d want him to succeed and they were so blinded by it that they wanted him to succeed in their way, not his which could fail. And yeah, I also usually think they’re only children but for the purposes of fics or adding some more depth to their characters then I like to think about siblings and how that would have changed them as people. But the show never mentions them ever so I mainly stick to canon that they don’t too

Yessss exactly 🥺 it’s her way of telling them that they don’t need to worry or be sad and I love it so much!

3. Lmao Willie just being a kitchen disaster is brilliant - he actually did burn water once (on purpose just to see if he could actually do it) but then every time he tried to cook after that and use water he burnt it on accident and he has no idea how he’s doing it bc it’s impossible and after the fifth time and the fire Alex is like “ok willie just go”

Lol it kinda turns into some sort of game once Luke and Reggie realise Alex is dead set on not having that recipe book. He throws it away and one of them sneaks it into his pocket somehow. So he throws it away again and next time he opens the fridge one of them has put it in there. They just spend hours moving around the book solely to piss Alex off

Board games and jam (lmfao yeah there’s no jam left, it’s one board game, and a random online game):

1. Alex now just uses it as any excuse, like Luke will ask him to make room for him on the couch or whatever and Alex will scowl at him and say “if you make me move I swear to god I will pelt your face with drumsticks” and Luke just backs away slowly and sits somewhere else

Absbdksl with the Caleb bit, it’s like Alex has been secretly practising magic tricks or sleight of hand or whatever, so he’s got these hundreds of drumsticks hidden all over his body and no one can see where he’s getting them from apart from when he literally pulls them out his sleeve. Caleb - the actual magician ffs - spends hours later trying to work out how he did it but can’t. Willie finding it hilarious is everything omg just stood in the corner like “you go babe! Mildly inconvenience that soul-stealing jazz singer ghost!”

Among Us:

LMFAO YES and he does it in front of everyone too, reports the body himself, admits to it on chat, but nobody votes him out because Willie had it coming

I love that sm, Luke looking at Alex like “dude I’m right there” but Alex just completely ignoring him. The anger and hurt just fuels Luke’s weird ability to be able to sense whenever Alex is imposter

Yes definitely! Flynn gives the page number and everything, and Julie watches so smug and proud as he best friend rattled off these rules and Reggie is like “that can’t be right” so Alex checks and everyone is just that little bit more scared of Flynn because god that was weirdly cool

Ajakdlsnd YES she does or if she’s sat beside the person who did it she just repeatedly hits them over the head with the rule book like “MOVE. YOUR. PIECE. BACK. ONE. SPACE.”

Oooohhh I love the friendship bracelet idea that’s so cute! Also, I know I said they wouldn’t be that close, but the idea of Flynn going to Alex before anyone else when she realises she has a crush on Carrie (because she knows he’s gay and also hopefully friends with Carrie at this point and he might be able to be helpful) is literally such a cute idea to me. And the one time they’re not in agreement with the rules is obviously when it comes to Willie - Flynn accuses Willie of cheating somehow and Alex readies his drumsticks to throw at her like “what did you just say about my boyfriend?”

I do that too! But tbh most arguments are because I get competitive and demand we play the game by my utterly made up rules which are very biased towards me. I’m half the reason most card games are banned in my house... 😂

Oh lol I love that Alex just takes advantage of Reggie’s complete lack of uno knowledge. Reggie will pick up a useful card like the one where you change the colour or whatever, and he asks what it means, so Alex is like “oh that means you have to pick up four of every colour”

Numbers:

6. Exactly, so right. And like I feel like that’s definitely the sort of thing we could see in season 2 - like Alex and Willie having a conversation and Alex feels normal and fine but then Reggie and Luke and Julie come in and suddenly everything that comes out of his mouth sounds romantic and sappy and they’re all laughing at him and it wasn’t this hard before they came in!

You should definitely watch Miranda! I can’t remember if it’s still on Netflix, but highly recommend! Exactly, any opportunity to see Cheyenne Jackson act should be taken at once. And yes, it has total Alex energy, Willie could say anything and Alex is just like yes absolutely. (And tbh that’s mainly the plot of Miranda as well so if I did write this hypothetical AU there would be plenty of opportunity for it lmaooo)

8. Luke - yes wait I love all this so much. Like as a totally random example if Luke tries to surprise them all by cooking lunch or dinner or whatever one day (even though he’s a terrible cook and it should always be left to Alex) he just forgets to make any food for himself and Alex has to gently remind him that Luke you need to eat too remember? And Luke being cocky about the others’ talents??? God Tier Thought, I love it so so so much. Like someone will tell him he was really good on stage that night and he’ll brush it off with “yeah, but did you hear Alex’s drum solo? Totally improv, the guy has mad skills. And Reggie’s backing vocals and harmonies - his range is literally unbelievable, better than most people to be honest. Oh and Bobby? Well damn, did you hear his solo? He’s up there with the best, learnt that whole thing in under ten minutes”

Reggie - same tbh 😂 like I love Luke and Julie’s vocals to the moon and back, but it always feels kinda special whenever Alex and Reggie sing y’know bc we hardly ever hear them apart from backing

Yeah I listened to Uh Oh and a few others too, I think Stranger was my favourite (if that’s even what it’s called, I think it is) but I haven’t heard the whole thing yet. Ballerina is my jam omfg I love it and I love he wrote the whole thing for and about Carolynn like that’s so sweet 🥺

Alex - yeah I thought that too! I think I saw a post ages and ages ago that was talking about how it would have made more sense if Luke was worried about being left behind or had some abandonment issues (worries from his days arguing with his parents) so at the first sign that Alex wants to “leave him” (in his mind) and cross over or join Willie he gets defensive and tries to shut Alex out with that line before Alex can leave him. I might not have explained that as well as the post did but I think it’s the general gist?

I think you’re right, I can totally see any of them losing sight of music to begin with. I think for Reggie he would sort of shrink in on himself and just not feel up to doing anything at all, he would really struggle mental health-wise. Then for Alex I think he’d launch himself into boring menial tasks to get his mind off it, maybe go off the rails a little because what does it matter anymore? Then exactly as you said for Luke, bc it’s so important to him he just can’t face it. And obviously we’ve talking about Bobby like a million posts ago and still now 😂 but eventually all of them would take up music again and write a tribute for each other.

This is only a little bit off topic bc we just mentioned Emily and Luke but yeah so if Emily and Mitch saw Julie and the Phantoms perform what would they do??? Bc I can’t imagine it, and I don’t think they’d believe in ghosts, but if they did like would they be happy? Or angry that Julie didn’t tell them? Or sad because they can only see their son if he’s playing and that’s the very thing they encouraged him never to do? Idk idk idk but I just want them to find out about the band in season 2!!!

17. Bonus points definitely awarded, I love that sm lmao

And yeah like Cheyenne Jackson just does villain songs so well??? Like, Caleb is my best friend’s favourite character and I asked her why she loves him so much and to answer she just got Spotify up and started playing Nothing to Lose and I was like ok fair enough. Exactly, like I want him to turn good but the villain songs might be something I can’t lose. But then just general Caleb songs ugh idk I’d love that too

Wait wait wait I had a thought - someone’s probably said it before but Caleb and Willie duet????? Please?!?!

19. Lmao by the end alliances just don’t exist at all anymore

Yes all of this!!! It really is perfect because as you said their friendships will develop and that’ll translate into screen so beautifully and I honestly can’t wait. And of course as you said the balance between upcoming actors and those who have been in stuff before is great, they’ll be able to give each other tips and pointers and learn from each other and eventually start reaching the same levels of fame or whatever and that’ll just be so cool! And yes it’s so cool to see them start getting recognition - like Madison hitting one million followers on Instagram the other day, I’m literally so proud of her and so glad she’s getting what she deserves!! Agreed, it’s great that they all play their own instruments and sing their own stuff rather than having others do that for them - I really want to see more of Sacha playing his guitar as Nick bc he’s so good, but also he’s being possessed by Caleb and I want Caleb to just be terrible at guitar so that’s how they first know somethings off bc Nick suddenly can’t play 😂😂

Ajsndlslf Carlos would totally do that. Carlos would be the one to introduce the guys to Vine and it would haunt Julie’s existence for all eternity because now Alex won’t play anything until Julie has said “bring the beat in” for him to reply “anything for you Beyoncé!” And Reggie would keep saying “I wanna be a cowboy, baby” and it gets on her nerves, and Luke takes to strumming his guitar and going “I love you bitch I ain’t never gonna stop loving you bitch” and yeah lmao

21. Wait yeah lmao that’s the only reason he didn’t get arrested because he freaking died instead, chaotic king

Oh it was DEFINITELY Alex who did the graffiti, it’s his way of being overprotective and cheering Reggie up

25. Lmao I love that - Caleb is scary but oh shit better watch out for Carrie Wilson. The guys would definitely find a way to kill Willie again - they’d go to extremes like figuring out how to do the stamp so he stops existing (or maybe they would just talk about doing that but not actually do it because that feels way too mean and if Willie hurt Alex (not that he would) then they could just keep them out of each other’s way). Yeah exactly, they just want to make sure they’ve got everything covered to try and protect Alex as they would do for anyone in their group - and Alex insists he doesn’t need their protection because it’s just Willie, but really he’s extremely grateful for it

32. YES I love all that like Alex is about to send Reggie on his way but is just like “hang on, take Bobby with you, I don’t want you getting lost or eating all the cookies before you get there” And Luke having got lost with Reggie is everything - both of them were looking at a cool bird or something and didn’t realise Alex and Bobby had kept walking, so Luke tried to lead Reggie in the right direction but got them lost, and then said to Reggie “stay here I’ll get help” and left him and didn’t come back because he couldn’t find him again

37. Oh 100%. Reggie can do impossible things but they’re just in ways that also seem like they should be impossible. I wish I could think of examples, but I don’t know how to do impossible things so 😂🤷🏻‍♀️

Adjoskflfmj yeah he’s not panicking because Luke’s on fire, he’s panicking because he doesn’t want to miss snack time while he’s in the timeout corner (having a scheduled snack time was Bobby’s idea because Luke said he wasn’t allowed to eat during rehearsal because he needed to focus)

Honestly Julie letting Reggie have any country song he wants just because Luke won’t let him is everything I need and more