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anika-ann · 4 years ago

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Attached: Words Lost in Translation Pt.1

Type: (mini)-series, Modern-college-professor AU… aka the wrong attachment AU ;)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader Word count: 4200

Summary: There’s a new guy in your history class – a foreign student from Milan, Italy. Handsome, nice enough, pretty smart, actually.

But dammit, you should have known that a guy complimenting the way you say his name will be trouble – Bucky certainly thinks so from the start… and he’s not wrong. Oh boy.

A/N: Attached: Words Lost in Translation is a 3-part addition to the Attached series.

A/N: Many thanks to my lord and saviour @chase-your-dreams-away for her help with Italian bits which you’ll find in the fic :-* Seriously, big shout-out for her, she was awesome! Vocabulary at the end if you’re interested.

And many thanks to @wxstedhexrt for sending me the link and putting the plot bunny into my head in the first place :-*

Warnings: smug insistent jerk, harassment(?), swearing, one remark about LBGT+ that could feel insensitive

Story masterlist

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“Uhm… hi. Can I sit here? And uh—this is kinda ridiculous, but could I borrow a pen?”

A very much handsome young man was standing by your seat in the second row, week two of your first semester of master’s at uni, deep brown eyes, naturally tanned skin, relatively tall, his smile a fraction shy but honest.

What else could you have done that what you did?

Even if he wasn’t a relatively cute guy – mind you, you were dating Steve, very happily needless to say – you had no reason to be a bitch to a guy with slight accent you weren’t sure where to place, to a guy who was apparently a tiny bit lost on his first day at Bucky’s class.

“Yeah, sure. Seat all yours,” you smiled encouragingly, sliding him an extra pen on surface of the desk.

His smile widened brilliantly, exposing a set of perfectly narrow and white teeth. A twinkle appeared in his eye and you caught your heart skipping a beat.

Oh. Ah-oh.

“Thank you so much. Something tells me that the prof wouldn’t appreciate me missing the first class of his and not taking notes on the second,” your mystery student grimaced and you chuckled, unable to help yourself.

First of all, yeah, kinda on point.

Second of all, not on point at all, because the said prof was Professor James Barnes. Bucky had a relatively benevolent policy when it came to his classes – yes, he appreciated when his students were paying attention, interacting even, but as long as you weren’t an ass or weren’t making noise (or both), you were fine.

You said so to your new classmate and he nodded in acknowledgement.

“Good to know… but you know what would be even better?” he asked, cocking his head to side curiously – or teasingly, it was hard to tell.

“Oh, what? I guess you need the syllabus too, right? I can-“

A low chuckle erupted from his throat, his eyes glimmering with amusement as his gaze gave you a not-exactly-subtle once-over you weren’t sure how you felt about.

Except you knew exactly how you felt about it, you just knew you shouldn’t feel that way.

“That would probably come in handy too, but I’d rather know the name of my lovely saviour with a pretty smile.”

You found yourself lowering your gaze, heat rising to your cheeks.

Here was a thing – this was most flirting you got in like a year. You adored Steve, you truly did, from the bottom of your heart, he was a dream come true… however, the fact that you two were dating was clear to everyone.

And by everyone, you really meant everyone; considering the scene at your bachelor graduation and the mess around, it appeared that the whole damn city accepted the fact that you were Steve’s and thus no one even considered stepping on his toes.

Which was alright, absolutely, but… girl’s got needs, her ego craves a boost from time to time, even if it’s an appreciative glance from a stranger. Just a teeny-tiny bit of flirting.

No one ever flirted with you anymore.

It was why it was way too easy to fall into the sweet trap as you introduced yourself, lifting you gaze only to see your companion wearing a lop-sided smile. He most definitely liked what he saw.

“Sweet name for a sweet girl. I’m Daniel. I’m here for two semesters. And before you ask, it’s Milano, Italy,” he added quickly with a flash of his teeth again, holding out his hand – and upon having it accepted, he most certainly held it too long and swept his thumb over the back of your hand.

Which was the point when your head started yelling at you to stop this in an instant and draw a line. Yes, it felt amazing to be complimented to, but you had a boyfriend – a fucking dreamy one, no less – and you sure as hell didn’t want to give Daniel (how was his name pronounced again?) the wrong impression.

You retreated your hand with your smile turning tight-lipped, a cold pang of guilt stabbing you in your gut. Served you right.

“Nice to meet you, Daniel,” you said politely, and his expression shifted into one just a fraction patronizing.

“Da-ni-el. Kinda soft ‘i’. Daniel. You’ll get a hang of it, I’m sure. Once more, please?”

Well, since he said please. “Da-ni-el,” you repeated more from a common curtesy, because honestly, the least you could do was to try to pronounce a name right for a handsome classmate.

Shush it, it doesn’t matter if he’s handsome or not!

Daniel smiled widely, turning his palms up and gesturing towards you. “Perfetto. Amazing. You’re a natural.”

Before you could say thanks, Bucky entered the class and you felt the stab in your insides intensify as his eyes found you unmistakably, as if he had witnessed our interaction with the Italian and was telling you he’d rat you out to Steve if you didn’t stop right now.

Ridiculous – there was nothing to talk about. You were just being nice to the friendly stranger who happened to be in your class and whom you’d be meeting for at least a semester. That was all.

Except you still felt your heart pounding furiously, equally because of the feeling of getting caught doing something wrong and because of enjoying the attention. Fuck.

Okay, fine. You’d tell Steve about this guy on your own as a precaution. It would at least remind you to keep yourself in check, because honestly, you had no desire to get tangled up in some mess. You had no desire to taint the beautiful thing you had with Steve with anything at all, less so for a fling.

Content with yourself, you forced yourself to listen to Bucky’s lecture, taking notes like you were supposed to, determined to ignore Daniel’s presence.

Except Daniel interrupted him twice with questions and remarks about accuracy, drawing attention of the whole class to him and you felt hot in your face for a whole different reason than before – simply hating that someone sitting next to you was, frankly, quickly getting annoying.

And God, you had no idea how much.

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Daniel Gallo was a relatively nice guy –social perhaps a little too much, but cute and open, easy to be friends with.

However, he had one fatal flaw, one you discovered very early on; he was the smuggest asshole you had ever met.

Perhaps it was his need to correct Bucky all the time – mostly failing, because Bucky knew his shit, he was just sparing you the tinniest details, leaving them for you to find in text books.

Maybe it was the fact that Daniel hadn’t given you the pen back, not even asking if he could keep it for the day, which you’d understand despite being protective of your pens; except he carried it around for two weeks, using it in front of you, returning it only upon your curious and slightly sarcastic comment about it.

Most definitely though, it was the fact that he was unbearably insistent on flirting with you – shamelessly – even after you grew so uncomfortable that you blatantly told him you had a boyfriend. He smirked, but backed off for the day, only to continue his advances the next week.

And then Jill, a girl from your year and a sort-of-friend, actually told you that he mentioned you in front of her, saying that you were two growing rather close, if she knew what he meant, and she admitted that she snorted into her latté when hearing it.

“What? What is it?” he had asked.

“I sincerely doubt that,” she claimed she had said, causing him to frown.

“Why? She gay? I don’t think so, I can tell this kind of stuff.”

“No. She’s taken. Very happily, I might add. Sorry to burst your bubble.”

“Nah. We’ll see about that,” he had replied supposedly and learning that felt like a punch to your stomach, causing you to see red.

You showed him ignorance incarnate the next week, but he didn’t seem to mind in the slightest.

And then even Bucky noticed and kept casting dirty glares at you both as if you had done the worst crime.

To be honest, after that you did feel dirty; but you didn’t want to make a fuss.

In fact, you hadn’t even told Steve about Daniel besides informing him about the existence of a foreign student in your class.

Partly, shame was to blamed, because you kept wondering if you had done enough; perhaps you should have been more radical, sterner with Daniel to make him stop.

The other part of the reason was that Steve was under tons of pressure because of his academic duties; all professors had to publish an article in a prestige journals dedicated to their area of expertise at least once in two years – university policy – and working on that while teaching several classes was simply taking its toll on him. You really didn’t want to add to his stress.

It wasn’t even a big deal – Daniel was overly social and he probably said shit like the stuff you learned from Jill about other girls too. What was the golden rule? When there’s nothing broken, don’t fix it.

There was nothing. No problem at all.

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Except there was.

That morning, you were zoned out, because Steve snapped at you for not doing the dishes and didn’t bother to apologize till you left the apartment in a foul mood. Then he went to shower you with texts full of apologies, gradually growing into pure cutesy (involving a picture of his puppy eyes) and gifs and stuff and you ended up spending the majority of Bucky’s lecture on your phone.

By Bucky’s policy, that was perfectly okay, because he couldn’t care less if you were smiling like a loon into your phone – hell, if he noticed, he was probably glad, knowing shit had rained down and was now being fixed.

At the end of the class, Daniel graciously offered you his neat notes – and really, they looked amazing –, surprising you rather pleasantly.

“Oh… that’s… that’s very kind of you,” you stuttered, almost rendered speechless. Perhaps you truly were just making a big deal of things, seeing something that wasn’t-

“Anything for my principessa.“

The cloud that had been following you since you left the apartment made its comeback in a second, so fast that you actually felt your stomach drop to your feet.

Oh no, you were not imagining things – after all, Daniel even had a term of fucking endearment for you. And you might not be speaking Italian, but you understood that just fine.

“Perhaps one day she’ll repay me with a dinner date,” he continued with a supposedly charming smile, one you found disgusting at the moment.

You opened your mouth and swiftly closed it when no sound came out, scoffing at your naivety. Of course he wouldn’t give them for free, jackass. You shook your head with a wry smile and packed your untouched pencil case and papers, rising to your feet without another word.

A hand on your wrist stopped you from spinning on your heel and walking away.

“Aspetta, aspetta-” an all-to-familiar voice now whispered as you grinded your teeth and glared at the point of contact, skin on skin. He squeezed your wrist almost gently before letting go. “Wait. Here. Just… take a picture, okay? Where would we be if weren’t nice from time to time…”

You really didn’t want to give him the satisfaction… but you could really use his notes too.

Dammit shit.

“Thank you,” you uttered, obediently taking a photo of the three pages of ridiculously perfect notes. Then, you met his gaze, face torn between stern and grateful. “Just… a reminder: I have a boyfriend.”

Slow smile spread on his lips and in that moment, you wanted to punch him in those perfect teeth of his. “Doesn’t stand in the way of admiring your beauty, does it, la mia ragazza…”

You had no clue what he said, but the la mia hinted you that he called you something his and that sent a surge of white-hot anger through your veins, mixing with humiliation. Your hand actually curled up in a fist, twitching – but instead of giving your piling anger an outlet, you took a deep breath, huffed and stalked away without a word of goodbye.

“See you next week!” Daniel called after you and you gripped the strap of your backpack tighter, squeezing your eyes shut.

That night, you got next to zero sleep, watching Steve’s passed-out form with tears in your eyes.

It was ridiculous, it was nothing and you were doing nothing wrong-- but you couldn’t make yourself to cuddle to Steve’s side despite desperately needing his wordless affirmation that everything was alright.

Just a simple embrace of his was like a promise of a brighter future. With him.

Chuckling wryly into your palm, you wiped at your tears and snuggled to Steve, causing him to stir and hum, his arm circling around you on instinct, a barely-there sloppy kiss to your hair chasing more tears into your eyes along with a watery smile gracing your lips.

Yeah. Everything was going to be fine.

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Nothing was fine.

Daniel was getting handsy if you could call it that. His thigh brushed yours multiple times the next class as he was sitting uncomfortably close and no amount of subtle pushing away (of you and your chair) was helping, so no, there could have been nothing coincidental about that.

You dug your nails into your palm and bit your cheek, but survived the lesson somehow.

Bucky called for you at the end of the class, saving you further interaction with that Italian Satan, allowing you to breathe freely until he addressed the very problem your head was occupied with.

Bucky didn’t like Daniel’s attitude to begin with – which wasn’t surprising, seeing as he was being a prick – but he liked the fact Daniel seemed to be awfully close to you even less if his tone was anything to go by and his eyes screamed accusations and you fucking hated yourself, feeling the tell-tale of incoming tears burning in your eyes.

“I can talk to him, you know. Tell him to back off,” he offered then though, the grey with blue threads of his irises warming when he noticed your state.

The pressure in your gut eased upon learning Steve’s best friend didn’t only blame you and apparently wanted to help rather than presenting you with ‘you made your bed you lie in it’ attitude.

You even charmed a small smile for him, determined to do justice to your word: “Thank you… it’s fine. I’ll deal with him. I can handle one guy who doesn’t take no for an answer.”

And sure you could.

Daniel hugged you goodbye the next class, saying he was planning a get-away with his new friends for a weekend and it might be dangerous – fucking absurd.

With your heart in your throat, you quickly patted his back and twisted from his arms, feeling dirty.

“No kiss for good luck?” he teased, that annoying smug smile on his face and you had to remind yourself that punching him was a terrible idea seeing as you were already walking a fine line dating a professor – who happened to be the best friend of one of your professors.

You didn’t need any problems – and for some reason, you were certain Daniel would make a big fucking deal of it. So no punching it was.

Your resolve crumbled to nothing when a sudden kiss landed on your cheek, the sensation cold like a kiss of the death itself.

Before you could as much as catch your breath which got knocked out of your lungs and not in the good way, your blood pressure skyrocketing along with your pulse to a point where your head began spinning… he was gone.

You gulped, eyes fluttering shut as the world seemed to sway from its place and you nearly jumped out of your skin when a hand grasped your arm.

“Daniel, go fuck yourself-“ you snapped and glared at him- only to meet Bucky’s angry and very much concerned gaze.

“Too bad you didn’t say that about thirty seconds ago. You alright?” the brunet asked you, grip firm yet gentle as he steadied your shaky stance.

“Uh-huh,” you hummed, a little strangled noise. “And I am gonna tell him exactly this the next time I see him.”

“Not good enough for me. You’re not stupid, I know you’re not. But I’m not either,” he remarked, expression gravel. His tone hardened, unlike his eyes that studied you thoroughly, examining your face as if searching for something. “You think I didn’t notice the change of your wardrobe?”

An icy-cold shiver ran an up your spine, causing all your muscles to stiffen.

Fuck. He noticed.

You supposed it wasn’t too hard to see and it was only natural that he kept an eye on you as on his best friend’s girlfriend. Yes, your Tuesday’s outfits suddenly somehow lacked skirts and anything with a deeper neckline than a turtle-neck, simply in hopes to turn Daniel off or at least not to pluck up his interest further; an action that had taken zero effect.

But being called out like this? That stung. It hurt your pride and it hurt by its very nature, because it reminded you how pathetic you were, unable to get rid of a jerk who didn’t take no for an answer – in a public space, with witnesses for god’s sake. It made you feel weak and incompetent.

So you looked Professor Barnes dead in the eye, your lips a thin line, your voice cold as you spoke the only words that made sense at that time:

“I—I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

So what if you stuttered? So what if his brows furrowed with what was a damn patronizing worry? You didn’t care as you gathered your stuff without another word exchanged.

You made a mental note to wear your favourite outfit the next week, forgoing pants and turtle-necks, because you could fucking take care of yourself.

Penny encouraged you, clearly having faith in you too, but she also gently reminded you that you could report him.

As if. Brining more attention to your person was the last thing you needed.

You could do this on your own, thank you very much.

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For all your bravado, you asked a girl you barely knew by name if you could sit next to her and nearly cried when she said yes and another girl seated herself to your other side within two minutes. You even smiled for yourself contentedly, seeing a dawn of a new age.

And then Daniel fucking Gallo walked in and charmed his way to the seat next to you anyway, somehow managing to scare off your original saviour as well.

Well, too bad for him; you had your confidence back along with your outfit that suited you much better and you were going to tell that jerk to fuck off, just like you promised to Bucky and yourself.

“You thought I wasn’t coming today, la mia bella ragazza? I couldn’t bear not seeing you…” he started off again and you eyed him head to toe, causing a smile spread on his face. You had found that smile cute once, the kind of smile you would let a person get away with murder for.

Now it was making you want to commit murder.

“I was hoping actually.”

“Oh, sassy today, are we? What’s wrong?”

What’s wrong? He had the audacity to-

You can’t punch him, you can’t punch him, think of the bureaucracy and your future…

What about my satisfaction?

Zip it!

You took a deep breath and watched that asshole take a seat next to you, automatically shuffling his chair closer.

“Daniel, look-“

“Zitta, zitta…” he interrupted you softly, but the manner he spoke with only pissed you off further. Fuck Italian.

“I don’t know what that means and frankly, I don’t care. I’m taken. I said so, several times. So back off,” you hissed, watching your volume despite the prof not being in yet – you didn’t need a scene. You were disgustingly certain Daniel had brought enough attention to you already – in fact, you were shocked Steve hadn’t learned about this yahoo yet with how quickly gossip spread on this university.

And that Bucky hadn’t told him-- God, you hoped Bucky wasn’t saving it for today’s boys night-

To your utter shock and annoyance, Daniel didn’t seem bothered in the slightest, smiling widely as if amused at your antics. “Am I putting doubts in that bella testolina of yours?”

Your blood boiled at such implication… and maybe there was a thin flow of steam coming from your ears too? Because you couldn’t fucking believe this guy, implying such thing-

--okay, you weren’t sure what exactly he said, honestly, but you understood just enough. No doubts. You were perfectly sure he was an asshole you wanted to have nothing to do with.

“No! No way! Jesus- okay. Let’s be clear. Was... this,” you gestured between the two of you in self-explanatory manner, “flattering at first? Yes. But seriously, now you’re just making me uncomfortable.”

As if appealing to his conscience would work…

“Then give in. Just one little dinner,” he insisted, showing a small space between his thumb and forefinger, grinning as if he hadn’t been listening to you at all. “What could it hurt? Who knows, maybe I’ll show you a real good time and you’ll forget all about some boring boyfriend of yours… who I’m not sure he exists actually-“

You inhaled sharply, wheezing in fact, heat of righteous anger flooding your whole body. That fucker-!

“Oh for fuck’s sake-“

You can’t punch him. You. Can. Not. Punch. Him.

You repeated those words to yourself like a magical mantra that was losing its effect, because there was nothing you wanted more. Maybe except for Steve punching him, that would be quite a show… but it was not an option.

For one, Steve, thank heavens, still didn’t know about Daniel’s unwanted advances and for two, chances were that he would show a little less restraint and you wouldn’t blame him one bit. But it would bring a whole new set of trouble, so you had to deal with this alien of a man on your own.

And right now, staring into that stupidly smug face of his, you only saw one possible solution.

“Okay, fine.”

You almost slapped your hand over your mouth as soon as the words left your lips, numbing horror overwhelming your body.

What the fuck did you just do?!

“Yes!” Daniel whisper-yelled, pumping his fist and you noticed that the class was gradually falling silent, probably with Bucky’s approach – but there was still enough chatter going on for you to save the situation somehow.

“-but you have to earn it,” you added in an equally hushed tone.

He cocked his eyebrow, as if smelling your fear that arrived instantly after the rash decision he provoked from you. “I won’t back out from a challenge, bellezza.”

Yeah, I friggin’ bet.

Your mind was racing hundred miles an hour, choosing to ignore the whatever-it-meant petname in favour of the crisis at hand.

“How about… you ask the professor a question-“ Oh Bucky was going to have your head on a stick for that, but hey, he had offered to help you- “-and if he answers wrong, I’ll go to one dinner with you, tonight.”

…that would be alright, right? Just to get rid of him. One dinner so he would get the clue at last. You’d be a hateful bitch, possibly embarrassing him, doing just about anything for him to finally stop making your life a living hell.

Yeah, looking back at the product of your frantic brain, it had been an excellent thinking actually. Go impulsive me!

Hell, tonight was perfect for it, with Steve having a night off with Bucky and you originally planning on studying with Penny. You would tell Steve after, explaining everything—or maybe before? Bucky was your witness that you weren’t exactly an enthusiastic participant in this, surely he would help you explain and would be able to distract Steve-

But really, that was all theoretical, because Daniel would have to catch Bucky off guard first, which was very unlikely. Bucky knew his subject through and through and Daniel’s chances were extremely low anyway.

“Easy-peasy,” Daniel grinned confidently, making you internally roll your eyes at his overconfident ass.

Or perhaps you had let your annoyance show for real? You couldn’t tell anymore, the adrenaline rush in your veins making certain things too sharp and other dull. For instance, you registered Daniel’s eyes flickering towards the teacher’s stand, his already wide smile growing enough to nearly tear his mouth.

“Even easier when we have a substitute.”

“What,” you blurted out, head snapping to the professor at the front.

A flash of blond hair and a shade darker beard. Broad shoulders. Blue eyes of which you simply knew they had a glint of green in them.

Your heart positively stopped in your chest, your lips parting in mute horror.

“Oh shit.”

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Vocabulary: Perfetto - perfect Principessa – princess Aspetta – wait La mia (bella) ragazza – my (pretty) girl Zitta – shh Bella testolina – pretty head

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Part 2

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Eh, I swear the first idea was giving off less of a harassment vibe. But it gets better, I promise ;)

I apologize to Italians if you find this offensive, but it was in fact not my intention at all for Daniel to be a representation of a whole nation. I figured there are insistent jerks all over the globe. (And I happened to have an Italian real-life template, not gonna lie.)

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jincherie · 5 years ago

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florescence | ii

❀ — pairing: taehyung x reader x seokjin ❀ — genre: hybrid au, hybrid tae, hybrid jin, poly au, fluff, smut (future), angst ❀ — words: 6.8k+ ❀ — rating: sfw ❀ — warnings: more shy and blushing boys, maybe a little tugging of the heartstrings towards the end u know how it is ❀ — notes: another hybrid taejin update!! i decided to throw this up since I’m working on fox rain and aiming to have it out this weekend, but just in case I’d like to publish at least something,, you know??? anyway I hope you all like this part!! man was it a mess before i edited and fiddled with it fhbjfbjf please let me know if there are any sudden cut off sentences lol

Okay, so maybe you’re lonely, and maybe there is something missing in your life, a void that you maybe want to fill with a companion that may or may not be of human origin… You’re perfectly content not doing anything about it though, until your best friend calls you in desperate need for your help and you suddenly end up coming home with not one, but two hybrids that may or may not have been on the way to the chopping block had you not taken them in. They’re more than a little rough around the edges, and the situation is less than ideal but… maybe the best things don’t always come in perfect, shiny packages. Maybe they just need a little time to bloom.

— posted; 29.08.2019 // masterlist || prev. | next.

In the first three days at your home, the hybrids are… somewhat withdrawn. They don’t shun you or ignore you, but are notably wary in your presence, hesitant to act when around you. They’re both somewhat shy, Taehyung markedly more so than Seokjin, and while you long to talk to them and try and ease them into their new lifestyle a bit more, you try to hold yourself back and give them the space they need to adjust on their own. You know it takes time.

It’s hard, though, and at several times throughout the three days, you find yourself wondering—should they really be this shy?

You’re new, this situation is new, everything is new to them. Shyness is expected. You know that, but… you can’t help but feel something is off. Something doesn’t add up, and while you haven’t figured out exactly what yet, you’re keen to pinpoint it soon.

The first day they spent in your home, was essentially nothing more than a night since you really only brought them home that night. The next day though, the second day, the two hybrids wake early and spend hours wandering around and taking in every little scent and inspecting every item in your house, allowing themselves to grow as familiar as they can. You notice that they seem to take turns leading each other and choosing where to go, but they never part. You notice with spark of affection, that Taehyung grasps Seokjin’s sleeve out of habit as he follows him, gazing around with wide eyes and waddling behind him like a little duckling. When it is his turn to explore, he leads the other male with the same soft grip on his sleeve. You think it mustn’t be unusual since Seokjin doesn’t even bat a lash.

Other than exploring, the two hybrids seem content to nap and cuddle with each other, mostly on the bed in their room. It brings a smile to your face when you walk past and catch sight of them, Seokjin clutching Taehyung’s shirt in his sleep, and Taehyung hugging him like a stuffed toy. Taehyung is quiet, but Seokjin is letting out soft snores that, were he a feline hybrid, you might mistake for purrs.

When they wake, you ask them what they want for dinner tonight, and for the days coming, but even in this, they’re hesitant to voice their desires.

“Is there anything you really like?” you ask, pushing gently for an answer you can work with. “Any dish or type of food?”

“Uhm…” Seokjin blinks, eyes flicking from you to the ceiling, and then back to you. “I… It’s okay. We’re happy to eat whatever is being served. You d-don’t have to go out of your way to…”

“Seokjin, it’s not a bother,” you say, hoping to remind him that you chose to take them home. “I’m asking because I’m happy to make it, or buy it. Is there something you like?”

It takes a few pointed looks and verbal prompts before Seokjin finally admits his love for meat and ramen dishes. You also learn that Taehyung really likes healthy meals, with meat and vegetables, but he also likes desserts. Of course, it isn’t Taehyung that tells you this, but Seokjin. The russet-haired hybrid still refuses to talk to you. Deep down, you’re a little frustrated, and a little sad and hurt both at Taehyung’s silence and the distant, withdrawn behaviour of the two, but you know it’s unreasonable to feel that way. You understand that whatever experiences they have had in the lab aren’t ones that are easily forgotten in just one night. You can only hope that eventually they will allow themselves to open up a little more and will just bear with it in the meantime.

Later in the night, after eating the ramen you cooked up for the three of you, you plan to go sit with them and ask their opinions for some clothes, since you need to order them. Currently they only have a few sets between them and to you, that’s unacceptable. You’d like to go out to an outlet or shopping centre with them to get them a wardrobe of things they like, but also know to wait until after they have settled in a bit more. Still, in the meantime they need some clothes to wear that aren’t plain white and almost threadbare. So after tucking away the last plate into the dishwasher and turning it on, you gather your laptop and turn towards their room—except you don’t get very far, barely even a step, before you stop in place.

The door is shut. It seems they’ve retreated for the night.

A little bummed but ultimately understanding, you call out a soft ‘goodnight’ and move to your own room. You think you hear Seokjin call softly back, and although you’re not sure, you’re willing to take what you can get.

Since they weren’t there to supervise your choices, you only buy them two outfits each. You know a few economic clothing sites that cater to hybrids, so the dent in your wallet isn’t too big—you know it will be when you eventually take them out for a big shop, though. If you start preparing yourself for the pain now, it will probably hurt a little less in the future.

Humming to yourself, you sit and browse for a little over an hour, sifting through the many tabs you opened so you’d have all your favourites in front of you. For Seokjin, you end up placing some dark jeans and loose pants, along with a grey hoodie with fluffy insides and a peachy light orange long-sleeved shirt, into your cart. You don’t have much basis for your decisions, except that you thought they would suit him and they weren’t too garish or out-there. When you choose Taehyung’s, it is a little harder if only because he’s a bit more difficult to read. You end up selecting some loose black pants and jeans, the same as Seokjin, and a soft-looking dark green button-up, as well as a fluffy hoodie. You have a feeling he’ll appreciate the comfort aspects more than anything. The sizes you chose were a bit of an in-the-moment guestimate, but hopefully they won’t be too far off the mark.

You bought them online, so you’re not really expecting them any time soon—you took time off work the night you brought the boys home so you don’t have to worry about the delivery coming when you’re not here. Well, that is, unless it’s incredibly late and comes in two week’s time or more. Hopefully it will arrive within the two weeks you took off, though. You don’t think you’d get away with asking for more time, even though your job isn’t all that traditional and it’s common knowledge that although each hybrid is different, they all need an adjustment period of sorts to settle into their new home and initiate and complete the bonding process. You’d managed to get two weeks without a problem, but you feel as though any longer than that would be pushing it.

Contrary to what you expected, the clothes actually arrive the very next morning. You’re fresh out of the shower, dressed for the day ahead, and entering the living room where the hybrids are curled tentatively on the couch, when you hear a decisively loud set of knocks. The two hybrids flinch, Seokjin almost falling off the cushion of the couch from the extent of his reaction. Biting your lip to hide your smile, since it was funny but also you don’t want to embarrass him, you make your way to the door and peek through the peephole before letting out a surprised noise and swinging it open right away, accidentally bumping the handle into the wall in your haste. Yikes, hopefully it didn’t dent.

“Miss—?!” Seokjin’s alarmed voice sounds from the living room, and you hear him scrambling from the couch and rushing over. You must have startled him by swinging the door open so quickly and making such a ruckus.

“Delivery for Miss y/n l/n?” It’s an elder gentleman at your door, dressed in the uniform of the company that usually delivers your packages. In his arms is a large box, the site you bought the clothes from last night displayed on the sticker.

“Oh, that’s me!” you smile at him, and he returns it kindly. You take the box from his hold, awkwardly shuffling it under one arm so that you can sign his little digital delivery pad. “Thank you very much!”

“No problem.” You receive another smile, and then the postman is nodding his head in farewell and returning down the path to wherever he parked his van.

Making sure to wait a moment to be polite, you close the door once he is far enough and direct your gaze to the box in your arms as you turn around. This is probably why you don’t see Seokjin and Taehyung straight away, and why you let out a short, startled scream as you look up and catch sight of them hovering closely. They jump in response to your scream, and you can’t help the sudden laugh that rises at the situation.

“Sorry! Sorry, didn’t mean to scream,” you say, trying to meet their eyes as you speak. You manage to catch Taehyung’s for a split second before he tears them away, his cheeks colouring slightly as he ducks his head. Well, you’re counting that as a little victory.

“Who… Who was that?” Seokjin asks, seeming torn between curiosity and concern as he tilts to peer at the door behind you.

“It was the postman,” you explain with a smile, holding out your hand for him to take on instinct as you move past him. He doesn’t notice it for a moment, but when he does he stiffens and his wide-eyes whip to your face. Realising what you’ve done, and somewhat embarrassed by how your hand was just hanging there, you retract it and turn back in the direction you’re walking, clearing your throat. “He was delivering something I ordered. It came so quickly! I’m sorry if you were surprised, if I’d known it was coming today I would have told you ahead of time.”

“It’s okay…” Seokjin begins, his sentence trailing suddenly. You hear shuffling behind you as you continue into the kitchen, a whisper that sounded suspiciously like Seokjin brushing your ears. You reach the kitchen table and turn back just as Seokjin is pulling his head away from Taehyung’s, tall ears flicking. Seokjin’s dark eyes catch your own, teeth sinking into his lip for a moment as though he’s mulling over whether to voice this next thing or not. He seems to decide to voice whatever is on his mind, “Um, w-what did you order?”

“I’m glad you asked,” you say, smile warming. “It’s actually something for the two of you.”

They’re still for a moment as your words sink in, but the second they do the hybrids are perking up. Taehyung’s eyes have adopted a light glimmer, ears straight upright amongst his russet locks and betraying his interest. Seokjin is looking at you in a similar manner, except with much more shock displayed across his handsome features.

Grasping your keys, you use the pointy end to cut through the tape on the box, excited to give them their clothes so they’d have something that wasn’t plain and white to wear. You turn back to them, open box in your arms and a bright smile on your face.

“F-For us?” the charcoal-haired hybrid finally stutters, his fluffy tail whipping behind him and his ears tilting down slightly. You panic, smile dropping as you interpret his body language as upset. His hands come together, grasping each other. “You bought something f-for us?”

“Ah, yeah…” you bite your lip, eyes flicking between the two of them. “I bought you some clothes because you need them, and I was going to buy them with you but you were asleep so— I, uh, I’m sorry if this upsets you.”

Taehyung’s eyes widen, before he turns his gaze to his friend and smacks him on the back. Seokjin jerks, gasping in realisation. “Oh no, no please don’t be sorry! It’s… It’s just… well we haven’t really gotten anything like this before… Or, well, anything...”

It takes a moment for his words to sink in, and when they do you’re overcome with an overwhelming combination of anger at the injustice of it and sadness at the realisation that with the life they’ve had so far, of course such a situation would never arrive. Who, in a lab, is going to take the extra time to buy them personalised clothes and items? The answer is no one, and it saddens you. Well, you suppose, time for that to change.

“I see,” you say, mulling over how to say what you want next. You allow a cheeky smile to slide onto your lips “Well… this isn’t the only thing I plan on getting you, so you better get used to it quick.”

Both males’ cheeks burn bright at that, but you can tell that your words make the two of them happy. You nod your head towards the box still in your arms. “Well, do you want to see what I got you?”

Sharing a look, the two hybrids nod hastily before shyly coming up and peering into the cardboard box. The first item you can see on top is one of the pants, and you tell them to take them out, explaining what you got for each of them as they do.

Their eyes are bright and tails lashing in glee as they survey the bundle of clothes in their arms, despite how small it is. Seokjin asks if they can try them on, and when you answer, “of course!”, he is quick to grab Taehyung by the sleeve and drag him back to the room. From there, they try on both pants and shirts you bought for them.

Each time they come out to show the outfit, blushing but still bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, you move closer to make sure each article fits properly, and that they’re not too tight or uncomfortable around parts like their tails. Both hybrids go completely pink when you ask and help them check that, the colour even going so far as to stain their necks. Ultimately, it seems your tiny haul was a good one. The pants all fit, and the shirts too—well, for the most part. Taehyung’s fit nicely, loose enough to be comfortable and breathable, but you’d overestimated sizing a little bit when you’d factored in Seokjin’s broad shoulders. The hoodie and shirt are a little oversized on him, but to your surprise he seems to like it like that. A soft smile curls at his lips as he looks down and wriggles the tips of his fingers where they’re visible peaking out of his sweater-paws.

Both hybrids are smiling, seeming content at their gifts, but still… you want to put to rest the niggling question in the back of your mind that asks, what if you messed up and they don’t actually like them? Clearing your throat, you catch the hybrids’ attention easily from where you are, leaning against the table.

“We’ll get more things for you to wear another day, but for now… I hope these are enough.” You rub the back of your neck, suddenly feeling a bit bashful. “Do you… do you like them?”

Seokjin blinks, before straightening and taking a few steps forward. “Yes! Yes I… I really like them. They’re soft, and comfy. They smell a little odd, but it’s just because they’re new!”

His answer makes you smile a little, a flush of affection washing over your chest at how cute he is. “Ah, I’m glad. I really—oh!”

You freeze in place, hands almost slipping from their grip on the table in surprise. You very suddenly register Taehyung very close to your face and feel the tip of his nose brush your cheek, making your heart stutter. His nose is soon replaced with a brief brush of something wet that drags quickly over your skin, leaving you reeling as Taehyung pulls back with crimson cheeks and takes one look at you before turning tail and scuttling back towards his room. He disappears around the corner, the sound of the door shutting softly greeting the air moments later. Both you and Seokjin stand in shock for a moment.

“Oh…” Seokjin seems bewildered, but something akin to cheekiness glimmers briefly in his dark eyes. You feel your face begin to flush with heat as the realisation sinks in that Taehyung just licked your cheek. “Uh… he likes them too.”

Unsure what to say to that, you merely let out a grunt. Well, certainly not how you expected this scenario to play out. You can’t deny the tiny spark of hope that has spawned in your chest, though. Time, you just need to give them time.

x x x x x x x

‘Guidebook for Subjects of Batch #2991

Subject: F1204— Kim Seokjin Additional DNA: Canidae—Vulpes Vulpes Approved for progression beyond laboratory?: Yes ☐ No ☒ Observations/reasoning: Unlike ‘littermates’, subject failed to demonstrate initiation of imprinting and bonding procedure despite ample fodder and presented opportunities—did not respond to attempts from Handlers to induce natural protocol. Unclear whether from inability or refusal. Subject is also only one from litter possessing mutated colour variant in animal DNA—presents as ‘silver fox’ rather than expected ‘red fox’. Subject meets all other aesthetic requirements and has been observed to play previously, however subject is shyer, more withdrawn than littermates and will not play with humans. Does not meet aims and requirements of batch for suitable companionship, cannot be moved forward in procedure. Not approved for next stage.’

‘Guidebook for Subjects of Batch #5991

Subject: D1230— Kim Taehyung Additional DNA: Canidae— Cuon Alpinus Approved for progression beyond laboratory?: Yes ☐ No ☒ Observations/reasoning: Demonstrates unwillingness/inability to initiate imprinting and bonding procedure when in optimal environment and presented with ideal cues. Completely contradictory to social nature of the animal this batch is spliced with (Dhole/Asiatic Wild Dog), subject presents as incredibly shy and withdrawn with marked refusal to speak when interacted with. Subject appears to get along with littermates however is observed to withdraw completely around handlers and other human figures. Testing reveals larynx and speech organs functioning within normal limits, however subject refuses to use them. Aesthetic requirements of batch are met. Subject demonstrates refusal/inability to bond with humans and incredibly shy and withdrawn countenance, and therefore does not meet requirements for ideal companionship of this batch overall. Subject not approved for progression to the next stage.’

Over the past few days, the two hybrids have begun slowly unfreezing and allowing themselves to grow a little closer to you, bit by bit. You’re not trying to complain—you’re overjoyed at the progress actually—but scrolling through your social media feeds and seeing your friends with their own hybrids makes you remember all the stories you’d heard from when they first got their hybrids, and when you compare them to your own…. You can’t deny how they don’t match up. You can tell that both hybrids are shy, but you’ve never heard of anyone else having a hybrid that was shy to this extent. You’re actually a little confused too, because as far as you know from what Seulgi has told you in the past, all hybrids are created with the inner drive and instinct to bond with their owner, or at least someone that is closest to them. It’s a process that is set in motion in the first few weeks of them living in their new home, and it’s a somewhat obvious process, for most hybrid species. The need for a bond usually overrides any shyness or hesitance the hybrid may have within the first few days, but you’ve not noticed anything like what you’ve read and heard the start of the process to be like in either Seokjin or Taehyung, who has steadfastly remained silent and has yet to speak to you or hold your gaze for more than three seconds at a time. You went to search on the internet, wanting to know whether it was normal for their hybrid types, but then you realised that you didn’t actually know what kind of hybrid they even were.

That was when you’d remembered that you have such a thing as their hybrid guidebooks, and you’d promptly upturned your room searching for wherever you’d left them.

The hybrid guidebooks, made by the lab and the workers who created them with the facts of their creation along with observations on them from conception onwards. It didn’t take you too long to find them, and as soon as you did you plopped down and dove in. It was already late and as far as you knew the hybrids in question had already headed to bed, so you felt safe to read them. It was only just now that you finished reading them, and in all honesty, you think you might be about to cry.

With each book, when you went to read the next page, you were shocked to find it completely blank. A quick flick through the remaining pages revealed very much the same thing. The book isn’t all that thick, but still you’re surprised at the magnitude of pages left untouched. Perhaps they are left there for you to make your own observations? Seulgi should have told you it would be as unhelpful as it is helpful. It takes you less than a minute to reread all the meagre information provided to you, your heart clenching and sinking in your chest.

Seokjin was deemed a failure because his animal features hadn’t been the same as the others in his batch and he was reserved around humans, and Taehyung’s extreme shyness had been his downfall— and because they were deemed a failure due to those “faults”, they’d almost been sent to their death just days ago.

You blink, feeling a stray tear slip from the corner of your eye and drip down your cheekbone. Rage and disgust fill you in a violent, roiling motion before it disappears and leaves an empty ache. That isn’t fair at all. It’s no fault of their own that they didn’t meet whatever ridiculous requirements the lab held for them, and it is completely and utterly unfair the life they’ve been given so far. You slam the booklets down on the bed, taking a moment to allow your remaining tears to fall and the sadness their profiles had elicited to settle. Once you’re sure you are a little calmer, you allow yourself to ponder the information you’ve learned.

As much as you dislike the implications of what you read, it does explain a lot—knowing their breeds helps a bit, and also explains the act of thanks Taehyung saw fit to bestow upon you when you gave him clothes, but you’re also somewhat relieved at the knowledge that the way they’re acting isn’t because of you, per se, but rather is part of their observed and already-existing behaviour before meeting you. Still, a part of you longs to get closer to them and begin easing down the walls they have up— but you suppose with their personalities it may take a while. You’re willing to wait and do what you can to ensure they’re happy and content in the meantime, but still… Your mind can’t help but come back to the parts that seemed to stick with you the most.

Refusal to initiate bonding process. The question lingers in your mind, but you aren’t sure if you want to know the answer— what happens if your hybrids never imprint or bond with you?

Something heavy presses over your chest at that, and you feel your lips tug down of their own accord. It’s probably better if you don’t worry about things like that so early on. They’ve only been here a few days, after all. Flicking your bedside light off, you settle back into the covers and resign yourself to finally going to sleep, even if it’s hours after you probably should have. You’ll sleep now, and when you wake in the morning you’re going to do your very best to make sure that these two hybrids have everything they want and need and that they feel comfortable and safe in your home.

And if you can manage to get even just a little bit closer to them, that’s a plus too.

x + x + x

You spend the next day researching more on hybrids and the animals they’re spliced with and amassing a long list of things that you think will probably help them grow more comfortable and feel more at home here with you. You also intend to stock up on food that you’ve noted they like, getting some extra things as treats. You don’t imagine they ever had the chance to try caramel popcorn at the laboratory. Initially you’d only intended to make a small list, but now the one you have scribbled down is pretty impressive with its size. Watching the money come out of your bank account is going to hurt, but you’ll make it back soon enough and you’d rather spend it on them than anything else. Still, you make sure to shorten it a little bit down to some ‘essentials’ that can be retrieved in one quick trip.

You don’t have to bother being sneaky with your researching, because the hybrids stay holed up in their room or bathing in the sun in small courtyard around your front door area—you note that Taehyung in particular seems to enjoy that, always appearing the picture perfect definition of ‘at peace’ whenever he curls into the hammock you have there and lets his eyes flutter closed. He still hasn’t spoken to you, and since you know that’s not exactly… unusual for him now that you’ve read his guidebook, you do your absolute best to let go of the tiny shreds of hurt you feel each time he withholds his voice from you.

Ever since you introduced your television and Netflix to Seokjin, his favourite place has become the plush black couch pressed in the corner of the living room where he proceeds to watch a number of things from cartoons to crappy soap operas to cooking shows. It is in these moments that his guard lowers and you catch him grinning openly, and part of you wants so badly to take the opportunity to talk to him a bit more but you can’t… bring yourself to. You don’t want to ruin and intrude upon the little bubble of comfort that he has built for himself here. You just have to be patient, and wait for that bubble to gradually expand and encompass you as well. No big deal, you can do it.

Still, even though you reassure yourself with those words you can’t help the tiny part of you that fears still—what if they never grow used to you? What if they never accept you, never let you in? The prospect of it is a bit gutting—these are now technically your hybrids, this was your one chance at finding a good companion and even if they never warm up to you, you can’t just give them away. You made a commitment, took a chance, and if it turns out that they don’t take to you then the cold reality is that your one chance will have been blown.

Suddenly deciding you’ve had enough of thoughts like that and need a breath of fresh air, you gather your list and grab your bag. You know that you’d be better off staying and spending time with them, since they’re not secure in their environment yet, but… you’re also torn between that and giving them more space to get habituated. You war with yourself for a while, but eventually come to the decision that you may as well go and get everything now while there is still enough time left in the day. You can zip in and out and be back before they even know you’re gone, you reason. A feeling in your gut tells you that you probably shouldn’t, but the urge to step out for a moment and get some things that potentially might make the hybrids happier is stronger than you can ignore and you find yourself scribbling a quick note to let the hybrids know where you are in case they actually notice you’re gone.

You pass Seokjin on the way to the door, and he spares you a brief glance that you take as the opportunity to flash him a smile. He flushes at once, instantly whipping his head back around to face the TV as he avoids your eyes in what seems to be embarrassment. You catch it as he curls further into the cushioning, hands gripping the soft orange material of his shirt and his fluffy speckled obsidian tail coming to curl over his lap. Smiling to yourself, you place the note in your hold onto the kitchen table as you pass and then slip quietly out of the house. Taehyung isn’t on the hammock so you presume he is in the room inside.

In the note you essentially told them you were stepping out for a bit, and not to worry because you’d be back soon. You don’t really think much of it and considering how aloof they’ve been overall, you assume they won’t even miss you while you’re gone. The most you expect is a brief thought wondering where you went.

It seems you are fated to be proven wrong, however. While you only meant to be gone for maybe an hour, an hour and a half, the trip itself for everything you have on the list takes a bit longer than intended. When you arrive home, your arms laden with bags, it’s getting to late afternoon and you’re surprised the second you step inside to find the two hybrids waiting anxiously by the door with wide eyes.

“Mistress!” Seokjin steps forward, and you presume it’s the alarm colouring his tone that causes him to forget what you told him the other day about calling you that. Taehyung trembles behind him, looking at you with big glossy eyes for a moment before darting forward and taking some of the bags from your hold wordlessly, ferrying them to the kitchen. You don’t doubt he’s still listening as Seokjin continues, a waver present in his smooth voice that makes your chest ache. “Wh-where did you go? Why did you go? Wh-what—”

You flounder, arms too full for you to comfort him as your instincts scream for you to. You panic when you see his eyes glossing, the first signs of tears beginning to gather at the corner. Heart lurching into your throat, you dart to the kitchen and deposit the bags by the bench before turning to comfort Seokjin—and nearly running straight into him as he’d been hot on your heels the second you moved.

“Oh, Seokjin,” you murmur as you take in the sudden crestfallen expression on his handsome features. The panic returns as you see the first fat tear roll down his cheek; you realise quickly that it’s something much more than a brief trip to the shops without them on your end that has him so worked up. Your hands fly to grasp his own, holding them gently—his fingers clutch back desperately. “Oh, Seokjin— hey, it’s okay. I’m so sorry. I left you a note so that you’d know—what’s wrong? Please tell me why you’re upset.”

The male had been holding it together somewhat before you spoke, but the second your words brush his ears he can no longer hold back his sniffles and the wobbling of his chin, his ears flattening almost completely against his head. You witness the conflict on his features, the way his arms twitch with the urge to take his hands back yet the way he also leans into your touch, shuffling closer unconsciously. You suspect he doesn’t know what he wants let alone what’s going on, and you feel even worse that he’s gotten so upset on your watch.

“Did you go to return us?” he asks, avoiding your question, voice clear despite its wobble and the sob that climbs his throat. He tears one hand away to rub at his eyes, sobbing into his shirt sleeve like he is ashamed that you’re seeing him like this. “D-did you go to see if you could t-take us ba-ack?!”

You can feel the horror distort your features as his words registered in your mind—did he think that? Did they both think that? You left them a note, you didn’t realise they’d… oh, god.

“Why would I want to return you, Seokjin?” you ask softly, meeting his eyes and aching at the heartbreak you find in their amber-hued depths. “Why would I want to take you back?”

He clenches his eyes shut, biting his lip to contain the whimpers climbing his throat, but to no avail. They all come spilling out when he opens his mouth to answer you, his shoulders curving as he curls in on himself slightly.

“Because we’re failures,” he sobs, lifting his arm to hide his face in his elbow again. Each word that slips from his mouth flings another shard of pain to pierce your heart. “We didn’t pass the requirements, we’re not fit to be c-hic-companions. I-If no one at the lab or at a shelter wants us, then why would you?”

You’re speechless for a moment as he cries into his arm, your eyes wide as you flounder for what to do, how to proceed. Fuck it all, you decide. You’re going to go with your instincts for once.

“Oh, Seokjin,” you coo sadly, tugging him to you by the hand; you release it once he’s close enough, slipping your arms around his waist and pulling him close. You rest your chin over his shoulder, guiding his head down to your neck. “Come here.”

He stiffens instantly, and you almost worry he’s going to tear out of your hold before he lets out another heaving sob and buries his face in your neck where it meets your shoulder, arms coming to clutch you desperately. You can feel his ear pressing against the side of your head as you coo, rubbing his back with one hand and using the other to card softly through the hair at the base of his neck. He absolutely melts into your arms.

“Seokjin, I didn’t go to return you, and I am so sorry for anything I did that led you to believe that.” You rest your head against his slightly, letting out a soft noise when he tightens his hold at the action. “I’m sorry for what happened to you before you came here, but please believe me when I say I’m going to do my best to make sure you feel safe, and happy, and loved here. I won’t ever return you, or Taehyung. You aren’t failures, you don’t fall short. You’re perfect and I’m glad I ended up with the opportunity to meet you. Okay?”

While your words did serve to comfort the male in your arms, they also made him sob that bit louder and harder into your shoulder. You turn, catching sight of Taehyung staring at you from the kitchen threshold with tears a split second from falling in his eyes and his bottom lip wobbling uncontrollably. You open your arm to him wordlessly and he doesn’t hesitate to dart forward and join Seokjin in clinging to your form, shoving his face into the other side of your neck. You hear him sniffling, can feel his chest wrack with sobs, but you don’t hear him wail as Seokjin does.

You do your best to soothe them both as much as possible, running your fingers through the hair at the back of their necks and rubbing over their broad backs. With Seokjin’s words from earlier, you realise that this whole time part of their distance has likely been due to the fact they thought you weren’t going to keep them. They were scared to get settled in and accept you, because if they did and then you turned them away, it would break their hearts. Your very first meeting you’d swooped in just in the nick of time to save them from a glorified execution, for crying out loud. You don’t doubt that the situation they’ve been in is one that led to a lot of feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness—you can kind of understand the thought pattern that can result, and once more the realisation of how they must be feeling truly saddens you.

You guide them to the living room, easing onto the bigger couch that occupies the space, and the two of them waste no time in curling onto it next to you, very much still clinging to your form. Gradually, with many whispered assurances that you aren’t going to return them, they are here for good or as long as they want to be, you manage to soothe their sobbing until it is just the occasional hiccup and sniffle that pierces the air. From your position between them, caged in by their arms and the faces pressed to your neck still, you can see their ears flicking and shifting from the corner of your eyes and have to squash the urge that rises within you to pet and scratch them. Someone once told you it was considered rude to do so, and you try and keep that in mind as you do your best to refrain from giving in.

As you peer out the window and take note of the darkened skies, it is with regret that you begin to shift between them. Seokjin lets out a low whine, Taehyung silent but his grip tightening around you.

“Are you feeling better?” you ask, voice soft. It’s directed at both of them, although you’re only expecting one vocal answer.

“Yes,” Seokjin croaks, pulling away with a sniffle and averting his eyes. It seems his actions are finally catching up with him, along with the resulting embarrassment they appear to cause him. “Th-thank you m—y/n.”

You feel Taehyung nod against you, but contrary to what you expect him to do next he actually burrows his face deeper into your neck. It takes you a moment to think of why he does that instead of pulling away, when you feel the heat of his cheeks against your skin and realise he probably is also embarrassed and just doesn’t know how to act about it. You turn and press a kiss to his scalp, close to his ear, and pull Seokjin back to plant one on his forehead. He lets out a squeak, hand slapping to his forehead as he stares at you with impossibly wide amber eyes. Violent pink flushes his face and you almost stop and wonder if he’s actually okay for a moment.

“I’m glad,” you say, meeting the hybrid’s eyes so that he can see how serious you are. “I don’t intend on giving you back, Seokjin. Please tell me next time when you’re worried about such things—both of you—and I’ll do my best to make you feel better, okay?”

They both nod, Taehyung finally pulling away with burning cheeks and averted eyes. You can’t help the fond smile that slips onto your cheeks. Considering how embarrassed they are right now at the emotional mess they just were and how desperately they’re trying to reclaim the distance between you, you decide to let them off the hook and move on to the subject that always seemed to catch their attention.

“Alright, now that you’re both feeling a bit better—how about we make dinner? I got some snacks and there’s a movie I’m going to watch after, if you want you can join me.”

You don’t think you’ve ever seen anyone’s face change from downtrodden to excited as quickly as theirs do. Laughing, you rise and drift to the kitchen with the two beautiful boys trailing after you, and go about showing them how much you care in one of the ways you’re best at. Dinner is made with them tending to every task you ask of them, and once the food is in your tummies and the table is cleared the three of you move to the couch, snacks in tow.

When the movie begins to get into the swing of things, you feel the two hybrids inch closer on the couch, and can’t help your smile. A part of you aches as you imagine how they must have felt earlier, but you can’t help but hope that from this point onwards, they’ll finally begin to warm up to you like you long for. You want them to feel safe and happy, like they deserve, and damn it if you won’t do everything in your power to make that a reality.

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p.s; please let me know what u think! and if u like this, please let me know by liking and/or reblogging!! it doesn’t seem like much, but I’ve been struggling with a bit of a low mood lately and tbh it’s the little things like seeing people enjoy my stuff that help keep me afloat

if you’d like to support me, feel free to send me a kofi and aid my poor uni student ass :’) thank u for reading, ily!

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ryqoshay · 3 years ago

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Tri-Arame: All Work, No Play

Primary Pairing Trio: YuuAyuSetsu Words: ~3.1k Rating: G Time Frame: The end of their second week of college Story Arc: Setsu’s Ceaseless Study Session Study All Day? Study All Night? A Nap a Day All Work, No Play

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Author’s Note: My original outline for this arc stopped at the previous chapter, but as I was was close to finishing, I realized there were still a couple threads I wanted to tie up. So here we are.

Also, this is the first chapter I’ve written that flatly gives the name of the company employing Setsu, instead of my former vague hints. For readers unfamiliar with my other work, How to Handle a Nico, Egao Jōshō is an idol production company founded by Nico and Tsubasa and it is probably my favorite point of connection among my three non-AU fics.

Also also, Heavenly Life is a doujin created by Riko.

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Ayumu opened her eyes and reached up to the headboard to grab her phone. The device she touched first happened to be Yuu’s, but that was fine. She unlocked it and checked the time. It was Saturday, so she could sleep in a little longer, but there were things that she wanted to do before the Live that night.

She pushed herself up to her hands and knees and crawled backward to the end of the bed. There, she climbed over the footboard, which she was thankful wasn’t much higher than the mattress. Standing, she took a moment to look at the other two girls still in her bed, as she had every morning this week since Setsuna started joining her and Yuu.

Part of her couldn’t get over how adorable they were, snuggled together like that. Setsuna had pressed herself almost flush against Yuu’s back. Ayumu wondered if she was worried about rolling off the edge or if her bond with Yuu was just that strong that she was comfortable doing that.

And that was the other part. Ayumu couldn’t help feeling a little left out, wondering why neither would do that with her. Would it help if she turned the other way? But she liked facing Yuu, seeing her face before falling asleep and again upon waking. And if the other two ended up swapping, she was certain she would be just as happy seeing Setsuna in the same way.

Maybe Yuu was hesitant? No, with as openly affectionate as Yuu had been with her the entire time they had known each other, that simply could not be the case.

Maybe Yuu was waiting for Ayumu to make the first move? That still didn’t seem likely, but it was probably more possible than the other option. Perhaps then she should make that first move and snuggle against Yuu? Maybe even tonight?

Heat gathered in Ayumu’s cheeks at the thought of doing what Setsuna seemed to have no issue doing. But why? It wasn’t like Ayumu hadn’t initiated physical affection on numerous occasions, from simple hugs, to leaning into Yuu while watching something, to holding hands while walking. Heck she’d done most of that with Setsuna as well. Why did it feel different when it involved a bed or sleeping? Was it because it implied other activities? Activities she had certainly imagined multiple…

Ayumu shook her head in a vain attempt to dissipate the deepening blush, or at least shake loose those thoughts. Turning on her heel, she headed toward her dresser to begin her morning routine.

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“Alright, we’re heading out.” Ayumu announced after she had finished putting on her shoes. “Are you sure you don’t want to come with us, Setsuna-chan?”

The girl still sitting at the kotatsu in the middle of the room looked up from her laptop. “I’m sorry.” She declined. “I just don’t want to fall behind.”

“But are you actually behind at this point?” Yuu inquired.

Setsuna blinked as though not expecting the question. “I’m… I’m not sure…”

“You’ve been studying almost non-stop for two weeks, Setsuna-chan” Yuu continued. “And while your determination is admirable, surely they can’t expect everyone to be so diligent, or even be able to dedicate that much time.”

“Hrm…”

“Perhaps you could email your instructor?” Ayumu suggested. “Or your program mentor? Surely one of them would be able to let you know how your progress compared to other students, or just general expectations.”

Setsuna considered the idea for a moment. “I can do that.” She confirmed after a moment. “But I probably won’t hear back from either until Monday. So, while I would love to join you two, for now, to be safe, I’ll stay here today.”

“Alright.” Ayumu relented. “We’ll be back in a few hours.”

“Have fun.” Setsuna replied before turning attention back to her screen.

Yuu closed the door behind them and she and Ayumu began heading down the hall.

“I hope we can at least convince her to come to the event tonight.” Yuu said quietly.

“Yeah…” Ayumu agreed, wondering what they could say or do to convince their stubbornly studious friend.

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Setsuna stretched and yawned before checking the time. A quick break should be alright, she decided and pushed herself out from under the table. She then made her way over to the kitchenette area where she filled the electric kettle and turned it on.

As she prepared the coffee grounds, she considered how much she had consumed recently. Ayumu was diligent in keeping a fresh supply despite rarely drinking it herself. Setsuna smiled at the thought of her friend’s kindness and decided she should get the next supply. She considered what places she could stop while on the way to the studio but then wondered if she should just have some delivered.

With a fresh refill of caffeine in hand, Setsuna headed back to the table to resume her studies. But before that, she quickly opened a new browser tab to check where she could order coffee online.

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“We’re back.” A voice announced as the dormroom door opened.

Setsuna looked up over her laptop and smiled as her friends entered. “Welcome back.”

“We got something for you, Setsuna-chan!” Yuu said excitedly, yanking off her shoes before moving quickly across the room. “Kope pan!” She pulled the sandwich out of her bag and presented it proudly.

“Thank you.” Setsuna said, accepting gracefully.

“Yuu-chan actually bought it.” Ayumu pointed out as she moved to the cupboards.

“Well, yeah, but Ayumu was the one to pick it out because it reminded her of Yotomi’s favorite. So, it’s from both of us.”

Setsuna chuckled at Yuu’s insistence as she inspected the package. It did indeed look similar to the snack commonly ordered by the protagonists of one of the anime series they had watched last season.

“Anyway, we decided to make a meal out of it all and picked up some other stuff.” Yuu began to pull other food items from her bag.

“And we brought it back here because we thought it would be more fun to eat together.” Ayumu added, arriving with a set of glasses. She distributed them to each place at the table before producing a bottle of one of her favorite brands of tea from her bag.

“Thank you.” Setsuna said again, feeling warmth spread in her chest at her friends’ thoughtfulness.

“And there’s one more thing.” Ayumu pulled another item from her bag and held it out.

Setsuna’s breath hitched as she recognized the latest book in the Heavenly Life doujin series she had been following online since before it had even started being published in physical form.

“I… I didn’t realize the new one was out…” She admitted, accepting the book.

“Mm.” Yuu nodded. “Earlier this week, it seems. I missed it too because I’m used to relying on Setsuna-chan for release schedules.”

“I’m sorry…”

“It’s no biggie.” Yuu dismissed. “I know you were busy studying. Though I will admit I’ve missed our anime nights lately.”

“I’m sorry…”

“Stop apologizing.” Yuu reached out to gently swat Setsuna atop her head. “Anyway, I got a copy for my collection and Ayumu bought this one for you.”

“Yes, but Yuu-chan had the idea to look to see if there was stock left” Ayumu interjected “and was the one to find them, so that’s from both of us as well.”

Setsuna chuckled at her friends’ insistence on sharing credit.

“Thank you, Ayumu-san, Yuu-san.” She turned her head to address each as she said their names before returning her attention to the doujin in her hand. “I’ll pay you back in…”

“Nope.” Yuu interrupted.

“Eh?”

“If you insist on doing something in return, just come with us next time.” Yuu grinned.

“Once your mentor or instructor is able to tell you how far ahead you are.” Ayumu added.

“Mm?” Setsuna questioned.

“I think it’s a safe assumption to make, based on how hard you’ve been working.” Ayumu explained. “But Yuu-chan is right, we do miss hanging out with you, Setsuna-chan.”

“I’m sor…” Setsuna cut herself off as she noticed Yuu’s expression of disapproval. She glanced back down at the doujin in her hand, causing a spike of excitement. “Anyway, I’m really looking forward to reading this.” She said, unable to resist opening the cover for a sneak peek at the first few pages. “And talking about it with… eh?” Upon looking back up, she noticed Yuu’s expression had changed, becoming more wistful. “Yuu-san?”

“Mm…” The green-tipped girl shook her head. “I was just realizing how much I missed seeing that smile.”

“That smile?”

“The one you display when you’re reading manga, or watching anime, or talking about a series or character you like.” Yuu explained. “I haven’t seen that in like two weeks.”

Oh…

Yuu chucked as she thought of something. “<All work and no play takes Setsu’s smile away.>”

“Mm?” Setsuna blinked. She wasn’t unfamiliar with the phrase, but she could have sworn it ended differently. And why did Yuu say it in English? Was it to make the rhyme? Still, she had understood the words and as their meaning processed in her mind, Setsuna felt heat gathering in her cheeks.

Yuu reached out a hand. “<Come and play with us, Setsu, forever and ever and ever.>”

“Yuu-chan, I don’t think Setsuna-chan has seen that movie.” Ayumu said.

“I haven’t either.” Yuu laughed. “I just know the meme. You do to, apparently. I mean everyone does, right?”

“Uhm…”

“Anyway, anime can wait for bit. Tonight, Emma-chan is performing.”

“I know.” Setsuna nodded. “She and I have talked about it several times this week during training.”

“And Ayumu and I are going.”

“I know that as well. I gave you two the admission passes.”

“I think Yuu-chan is trying to ask, without actually asking, if you were coming with us, Setsuna-chan.” Ayumu explained.

“…” Setsuna paused to consider her response. Of course she had figured out Yuu’s intentions, but she retained her reservations.

“I really think you owe yourself a night off every once in a while.” Ayumu continued. “Despite the meme, Yuu-chan does have a point, that you shouldn’t dedicate all your time to work and should leave at least a little time for play.”

Before she could respond, a soft ping sounded from the speakers of Setsuna’s laptop. She glanced down at the notification that popped up on the screen. “Eh?” she uttered.

“What is it?” Yuu inquired.

“It’s a replay from my instructor.” Setsuna scanned the message quickly. “He says I should go to the concert.” She heard Yuu make an excited noise. “He was actually going to contact me on Monday to see if I was alright because I am apparently a lot farther along than any other student he has seen take the course and he wanted to make sure I wasn’t overdoing things. But then he saw my email and he wanted to make sure I didn’t miss an opportunity to see my friend’s performance.”

“Sounds like you have a good instructor” Ayumu spoke up “who cares not only about your success in class, but also about your personal wellbeing.”

“Emma-chan is going to be so happy you’ll be able to make it.” Yuu said.

“Karin, Kanata and Kasumi-chan will also love seeing you again.” Ayumu added.

Setsuna smiled. “They’ll all be happy to see Yuu-san and Ayumu-san as well.”

“Well yeah, but we’ve already established that we’re going.” Yuu pointed out. “Setsuna-chan was the one holding out on her decision.”

“… Sorry… Oh, uhm…”

Yuu laughed again.

“I’m glad you reached out to your instructor.” Ayumu said.

“Well, I did want to go tonight…” Setsuna admitted.

“And we’re happy you decided to come with us.” Yuu grinned. “And since the concert’s not until after dinner, you still have the rest of the afternoon to study if you want.”

Setsuna nodded.

“Or…”

“Or?”

“You can take a short break to watch an episode of anime with us while we eat?”

“I’d like that.”

Yuu’s smile grew as she pushed her meal over to Setsuna’s side of the table. She then crawled over to squeeze in beside the raven-haired girl. On the other side, Ayumu was moving her food as well before fitting herself in with the other two. Setsuna opened a new tab in her browser and brought up her favorite streaming site where she found one of the series they had been watching that season. The three settled in comfortably as the opening song played.

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“That was an amazing concert!” Yuu said for the umpteeth time that night as the three girls entered Ayumu’s dormroom. “Emma-chan is a wonderful pro idol! And the event overall really makes me look forward to your first Live, Setsuna-chan.”

“I would have participated this weekend,” Setsuna admitted “but…”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, classes and stuff.”

“I could request a slot next weekend though.”

“I’ll be sure to be there to cheer you on.” Yuu grinned.

“I’ll come too.” Ayumu spoke up. “I also want to support you for your first Live, Setsuna-chan.”

Setsuna smiled. “Thank you. I’ll be sure to practice hard this week so I can shout my love as best I can on stage.”

Yuu yawned. “Anyway, I’m going to go take a quick shower and get ready for bed.” She headed to Ayumu’s dresser to grab a set of pajamas.

“That’s a good idea.” Setsuna said. “I’ll see you two to back here in a bit.” She then headed to her room to prep for the night.

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“Perfect timing, Setsuna-chan.” Ayumu said as Yuu got up from her hair drying session.

Setsuna smiled and sat down.

“I’m surprised you’re not pulling your laptop over so you can study.” Yuu teased.

“Oh, I, uhm, was actually just going to go to bed tonight.” Setsuna admitted.

“Oh? Not going to stay up until the wee hours of the morning again?”

“Uhm, not tonight…”

“Setsuna-chan wore herself out cheering at the concert, eh?”

“A little…”

Yuu laughed. “Well, I suppose I can’t blame you though. I did too.” She glanced up. “And I’m pretty sure Ayumu did as well.”

Ayumu felt a bit of heat in her cheeks. “It was just so much fun.” She explained as she ran a hand through Setsuna’s hair. “It’s been so long since I’ve been in the audience, I’d almost forgotten how much energy it can take.”

“Though it is wonderful to be see things from the audience’s perspective.” Setsuna decided.

“That is true.” Ayumu agreed.

“It’s the best.” Yuu stated.

“Hrm…” Setsuna pondered. “I’m not sure I can fully agree with that. I am quite fond of performing on stage.”

“Yeah, that’s true.” Yuu conceded. “Ooo, I’m really looking forward to your first performance as a professional idol, now.”

“As am I.”

“How about you, Ayumu?”

“Me? I thought I already said I wanted to see Setsuna-chan’s performance as well?”

Yuu shook her head. “No, which do you prefer? Being on stage or in the audience?”

Ayumu paused. Granted it had only been a few weeks, but she honestly hadn’t thought about performing since their final Live as school idols. However, “I think I would have to agree with Setsuna-chan; both have their appeal, but there is something special about being on stage.”

“Well, if you ever miss being on stage,” Setsuna mused “Egao regularly invites former school idols as guest performers.”

“Eh? Really?” Ayumu hadn’t considered the possibility.

“That’s true.” Yuu chimed in. “We saw one perform tonight.”

They had? Ayumu realized she probably should have paid more attention to the program. Obviously, she had made sure to watch Emma closely, but otherwise, she had been a bit overwhelmed by the crowd and catching up with her former club members.

“Anytime you want, just let me know.” Setsuna continued. “I’d love to sing with you again, Ayumu-san.”

“I… might have to take you up on that sometime.” Ayumu decided.

“I’ll be sure to be there to cheer you on.” Unsurprisingly, Yuu repeated her offer of support.

“Thanks, Yuu-chan.”

The three continued talking about idol performances, both ones they had enjoyed in the past as well as ones to which they looked forward in the future. And as much as Ayumu wanted to prolong working Setsuna’s hair, it was eventually dried and properly brushed, so the session needed to end.

It felt a little strange as Yuu and Setsuna effectively lined up behind her as Ayumu crawled into her bed, after two weeks of them joining later, or just one week for Setsuna. But by the time Ayumu had settled down, Yuu was already halfway across the bed to her usual position and Setsuna had a knee on the edge as she waited for room to be made.

Was tonight actually the best night to experiment with snuggling? Would Yuu tease her?

“Ayumu?” Yuu apparently noticed the change in her expression.

Ayumu steeled herself for the next move and reached out to place a hand on Yuu’s shoulder.

I want to cuddle too, Yuu-chan. Ayumu pleaded silently. You cuddle with Setsuna-chan and we’re both equally important to you, so you can cuddle with me as well, right? Please don't make me say it out loud though, it's hard enough making the first move! And why do I have to anyway? Geez… Yuu-chan you can be so dense sometimes…

Finally, Yuu smiled, seeming to understand. She slid an arm around Ayumu and pulled the two of them together before nuzzling in under Ayumu’s chin.

Wait, no, I wanted to be the one to… oh well…

“Mm?” Setsuna’s hum sounded confused. Perhaps she hadn’t expected Yuu to move away from her? And did Ayumu detect a bit of disappointment in her tone as well?

Sorry, Setsuna-chan, I didn't mean to make you feel left out. Ayumu thought to herself as she moved her hand off Yuu’s shoulder, reached past her, found Setsuna’s arm and pulled gently. The other girl let herself be guided forward to the position Ayumu commonly observed in the morning. Now, they were even more crowded than before, and yet…

“This is nice…” Yuu murmured as though continuing Ayumu’s thoughts. “Good night, Ayumu, Setsuna-chan.”

Ayumu and Setsuna responded, almost in unison, causing Ayumu to giggle a little.

Yuu didn’t end up teasing her. Strange. But maybe it was because she had wanted the same thing? And if that was the case, Ayumu was still a little confused as to why Yuu hadn’t tried to snuggle with her before. In any case, at least they were now, so she then pushed that concern out to make room for more pleasant thoughts.

Ayumu closed her eyes and enjoyed the comfort of falling asleep nestled together with the two girls she loved.

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Author’s Note continued in Followup post

#YuuAyuSetsu #Takasaki Yuu #Yuki Setsuna #Uehara Ayumu #Tri-Arame #Love Live Nijigasaki #fanfic

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shortstories-slp · 3 years ago

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Paperback Writer

{Wu Honghui, born in the Hunan Province of China on October 7, 1996.}

{He has brown hair, hazel eyes (+wears glasses), weighs 130 pounds, and height 5’6”.}

{Homosexual}

{He is a writer mainly in the romance genre.}

Honghui rushes into his publisher’s office and slams down an overflowing portfolio.

“Mister Editor! I brought in a new draft. Please read it and give me feedback.” He yells over all the talk in the office, and everyone falls silent narrowing their eyes on him. A man a little older than him walks over and smiles, stating.

“Hello Honghui! I’m your new editor Feng Haoyu, but you can just call me Hao.” Honghui looks at him and he blushes.

“Ah. It’s nice to meet you Hao. Uhm. I just wanted to drop this off for you to read.” He mutters and slides the portfolio towards Haoyu, before making a beeline for the door. Haoyu smiles and takes the portfolio to his desk, beginning to read over the draft. He begins to make corrections to it.

Honghui sits on his sofa and pets his calico cat, thinking about Haoyu.

“I wonder what happened to Mister Gou?” He says to himself and sighs, shaking his head. He decides to read through his own copy of the draft to see if he can find any mistakes.

|A Few Hours Later|

Honghui rests his glasses on his head and sets down his red pen, pinching the bridge of his nose. His phone chimes and he opened his text messages, placing his glasses back on his nose.

Feng Haoyu: Hello Honghui! This is Feng Haoyu. I’m texting you to inform you that I’ve finished reading the draft. You can pick it up whenever you have free time.

Wu Honghui: Thanks Hao! ^o.o^ I will be there to pick it up tomorrow morning.

Feng Haoyu: Okay. See you then!

Honghui gets up from the sofa and walks into his bedroom, yawning. He takes off his glasses and slips into bed, falling asleep rather quickly.

|The Next Morning|

Honghui walks to a café and picks up an iced caramel macchiato, before continuing to the publisher’s office. He sips his macchiato and walks into the building, waiting near the front desk. Haoyu walks out to greet him and hands him the portfolio.

“I wrote comments in the margins, and I fixed a few grammar mistakes. Overall, it was alright.” He explains and Honghui nods, before asking.

“It was just alright?” Haoyu replies.

“Yeah. It was just like any other romance story.” Honghui feels a pang of hurt in his chest and mumbles.

“Why are you even my editor? I only write romance.” He turns on his heels and starts to head to the door, briskly.

Haoyu watches him leave and shakes his head, thinking.

‘You have the passion and drive to write better stories and genres, but you choose not to. Why is that?’

Honghui gets home and sits his portfolio onto the counter, staring at it.

“Hey Bean! I’m sure you can cheer me up.” He says to his calico cat, crouching down to scratch her chin gently. His phone chimes and he groaned, not wanting to open his message but he does so regardless.

Feng Haoyu: I’m sorry if what I said earlier came off as rude. I just know that you can write better things, but it’s not my place to tell you what genre to write. I hope that you will still work with me.

He looks at the message for a while, trying to think of how to respond to that. Honghui sits his phone down and distracts himself for a while, reading through the portfolio.

‘Haoyu did make a good point. I can do better than a traditional romance novel.’

He thinks and finally decides how he is going to reply to the text from Haoyu.

Wu Honghui:That was pretty rude of you to talk to me like that. e^e However, you can make it up to me by treating me to lunch. You were right though. I am going to make less traditional romance novels from now on.

Feng Haoyu: I wouldn’t mind treating you to lunch and great! I can’t wait to see how to change the rhetoric of the boring romance genre.

Honghui smiles at the message and locks his phone. He takes out his notepad and starts to write different prompts for his stories. After brainstorming, he narrows down the list and circles one of the prompts beginning to type on his computer. Honghui ends up falling asleep at his desk.

|The Next Day|

Feng Haoyu: Hey Honghui! Are you free to have lunch today?

Haoyu looks out the window of his apartment, feeling anxious about having lunch with Honghui.

Wu Honghui: Yes! Can we go to the sushi buffet place? OvO

Feng Haoyu: Of course! What is your address? I will pick you up.

Honghui texts his address to Haoyu and takes a shower, before getting dressed. He slips on his shoes and blushes when he remembers the situation, he is in.

‘Ah… this makes it seem like we are dating. I mean I don’t mind, but what about Hao? Augh!’

He thinks and struggles with his internal monologue but gets interrupted by his phone ringing.

Feng Haoyu: “Hey. I’m outside in the blue car.”

Wu Honghui: “Oh! I’m sorry. I will be out in just a second.”

Feng Haoyu: “Okay take your time. I will be waiting.”

Honghui composes himself and grabs his side bag, along with his house keys. He locks the door and walks out to Haoyu’s car, getting into the passenger seat. He buckles up and adjusts his glasses, before looking over at Haoyu.

“Okay. I’m all set.” He says in a chipper tone.

“Yeah. Let’s get going.” Haoyu says and starts to drive to the restaurant.

|At the Sushi Buffet|

They get seated at a booth near the back, sitting across from each other they fall into an awkward silence. Haoyu clears his throat and asks

“So, how long have you been a writer? Why do you like to write romance novels?” Honghui replies

“Well, I’ve been writing for about three and a half years now. I write the romance genre just because it is fun and appealing, but I want to make same sex romance novels too. They are pretty rare and… never mind.” He rubs the back of his neck and avoids eye contact. Haoyu nods and supports him.

“That sounds like a stellar idea. I think you should go for it.” Honghui smiles and asks

“You really think that?” Haoyu replies

“Of course!”

They get greeted by a waitress and then get up to pile their plates with sushi.

|After Lunch|

“I fixed all of the stuff you marked in my draft Hao. So, I think it will probably be ready to publish soon.” Honghui says happily and pats Haoyu’s shoulder. Haoyu replies

“Well, give it to me when we go back to your house.” Honghui nods and gets into Haoyu’s car. He gets home and gets out of the car, looking at Haoyu.

“Just give me a minute and I will bring the revised version out to you.” He states and runs up to his front door, unlocking it. He heads inside and grabs the thick stack of papers, carefully carrying them out to Haoyu’s car. He puts them on the passenger seat and thanks Haoyu.

“Thank you for taking me out to lunch Hao. It’s been such a long time since I went out with someone. I mean had lunch with someone.” He stumbles over his words and blushes wildly. Haoyu smiles at him, causing his heart to race.

“I know what you mean. It was nice hanging out with you Honghui.” He says and drives off after Honghui shut the door.

Honghui goes into his house and mentally hits himself, thinking.

‘Now he probably thinks I’m a weirdo. Great.’

He walks into his office and starts to draft another story.

|A Few Weeks Later|

Feng Haoyu: Your story has been published and it is being printed right now. What languages do you want it translated to later?

Wu Honghui: Yay! *\(ouo)/* I wanted it translated to English, Japanese, French, and German eventually.

Feng Haoyu: Noted. Also, I never got to ask you this, but why do you use emoticons? It’s not very professional. You should limit yourself and try to sway off using them.

Wu Honghui: But I love using Emoticons. 3:< I don’t have to be professional talking to you, do I? You are only a year older than me. |||<(@o@)>|||

Feng Haoyu: I would prefer if you didn’t use them, but it seems like it can’t be helped.

|A Month After the Publishing|

Honghui sits out on his veranda and reads a book. His novel seemed to be a hit and it just passed the goal of selling 500 books. His phone rings and he shut his book.

Feng Haoyu: “Hey the office is having a celebration for your 500th book sale. It’s tonight. I can pick you up if you would like.”

Wu Honghui: “Will I have to get dressed up? I don’t want to but if I have too I will.”

Feng Haoyu: “No, but if you want to you can.”

Wu Honghui: “Okay. I will see you later.”

Honghui hangs up and gets dressed in a casual suit. He grabs his bag and waits for Haoyu to come pick him up.

|The Party|

Haoyu and Honghui walk into the office together and they start to hang out with Haoyu’s coworkers. They have cake and a few drinks. Honghui signs a few books and steps outside to get fresh air. Haoyu walks out after him and shifts his weight nervously, before walking closer to Honghui holding something behind his back.

“Hey Honghui. It’s been a few months since I’ve become your editor/publisher, but I feel like we are more than just writer and publisher.” He tries to explain his feelings and Honghui looks up at him. Honghui starts to ask him a question.

“Wait! Are you going to...?” Haoyu interrupts him and asks

“Honghui. Will you date me?” He pulls a bouquet of flowers out from behind his back. Honghui blushes and counters

“No. I mean yes, but what about you? This isn’t very professional and you yelled at me for using emoticons… This is more serious than that.” Haoyu hangs his head and responds defeated

“Yeah… I guess you are right. I will j-.” Honghui interrupts him this time and shouts

“I want to date you! As long as it is fine with your supervisor!” Haoyu smiles and replies

“My supervisor doesn’t mind. I can assure you of that.” Honghui hugs him tightly and mutters

“I am so happy right now!” Haoyu hugs him back and kisses the top of his head.

“I understand why you truly only write romance novels now… Honghui.” He states softly. Honghui looks up at him and smirks.

“Well, why is that?” He asks and Haoyu replies

“It’s a secret.”

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nekoonii · 4 years ago

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unexpected meeting

why is bokuto upset?

pairing : bokuto x reader

a/n : i’m new to writing hcs because i normally wrote nct fanfics on wattpad, at the time i felt that it was good but i never had the courage to publish them because i always feel my story doesn’t make sense and i misuse alot of vocabs and stuff...so..yea. i’m trying to push all those thoughts and just for once- publish something. so i hope this is okay:)

(also if there are some things that doesn’t really match well with the character apologies, i’m still reading the manga and getting to know the characters more....if that makes sense)

-------------<3

you were watching fukurodani’s match because your boyfriend of 5 months, bokuto kotarou, could not stop pestering you to watch him play in a match against an opponent instead of practice matches.

there you were, in the gymnasium, leaning on the railing as your eyes casually follows your boyfriend practicing his spikes. Before the match begins, you went to buy a drink at the vending machine outside the arena.

your phone suddenly dinged like hell. messages after messages. You pulled it out of you pocket to see flooding messages from Akaashi

“y/n-san.” “y/n-san where are you?” “y/n-san.” “y/n-san you’re not in the arena?” “y/n-san please reply”

your eyes widened after the last chime dinged.

“bokuto-san seems awfully upset.” you were dashing back to where they were, completely leaving your drink in the dispenser.

the match was about to begin when bokuto saw the opponents. There he met his eyes with his ex, who he loved dearly, cherished so much, giving her his all for 2 years. His hair practically flopped and all his teammates noticed it. His happy expression suddenly faded. He just stood there, ball in hand, as he watches his ex fumbling over the captain of the opposite team, smiling, giggling. How could she left him without a proper explanation? Is he really that bad of a boyfriend? What did he do wrong? All negative thoughts came rushing down on him, he looked down and immediately dropped the ball, he felt his world was cursed to reunite with his ex.

the coach called everyone in and bokuto was practically dragging himself towards the coach, sighing and exhaling deeply, basically on the urger of crying.

you bust in the arena, and every teammate of fukurodani was arrowing to your depressive boyfriend, who was standing absolutely still, looking down at the floor.

you slowly walk up and stood beside the coach and he gives his daily speech

“bokuto, i don’t know what is up on your mind but wipe that thought away and focus on the game.”

he slowly nodded. Akaashi looked up at you and you just started to scan through the arena, looking for the what caused bokuto to look so gloomy. There your eyes layed on his ex, she was just glaring at you, scoffing and flipping her hair. what a bitch

you looked back at bokuto who was fiddling with his fingers.

“kou.” you called. he flinched from your voice before slowly looking up. Normally, just by you calling his name and your presence, he’d go back to his energetic vibe. But not this time, the past he recalled really ruin his entire mood.

you sighed. you were furious. How could she do this to him? After the amount of time bokuto sat down to explain his past relationship with her, how he’d always be there for her, buy her flowers, show her endless love, she left him without a proper goodbye.

your fist was tightening. You stomped towards bokuto before grabbing his shirt and pulling him for a kiss. Your kiss was so sudden he practically mewl. You deepend the kiss slightly before breaking it. Everyone was- they went owo.

“so what if she’s here? so what if she broke you? Shouldn’t you be happy that you’re with me? because i would never do that to you ! better yet, i had no intention to leave you, kou!” you felt tears coming out from his eyes. Which did, well, slightly. You wiped the tears that was blurring his vision before giving him a last peck on the lips.

“bokuto kotarou, show her what she regret leaving to. show her your capabilities. show her,,you,,the you who she left cold-heartedly” at last, you see the smile return to his face. He was on fire. He was already jumping, screaming ‘hey hey hey!!’ as he pulled you into a tight hug.

The whistled blew just on time and you went back up to watch the play. You could already see bokuto super energised. The game went smoothly with fukurodani earning all the sets and eventually winning.

You ran back down to congratulate everyone. They were all just giving you a thumbs up, thanking you to help with bokuto’s emo mode. akaashi take note dhjcbjsa

bokuto was retrieving the last ball that was rolling away when he bumped into his ex. You and the team were all gasping, afraid bokuto would break down infront of her.

“b-bokuto! y-you did amazing out there..” She was acting all shy and cute infront of him. Unexpectedly, bokuto was standing straight, still giving her his smile.

“right ! y/n fired me up! i’m so happy she’s here to watch me play a real match!”

“y-y/n?” he was nodding profusely, he then turn around and spotted you before running to grab your wrist and returning back to his ex

“meet y/n!!” his hand snaked around your waist and you were nicely waving towards his ex. You saw her face expression changed. She seems unhappy.

“h-hi..uhm bokuto..actually i thought i owe you an explanati-”

“i don’t need one.”

“e-eh?! B-but i l-left you without-”

“precisely. i don’t need one anymore. Because i have y/n with me.” he stopped before looking at you, flashing the most cutest smile ever hngg my heart

“who would never leave me.” he continued. Your face was all red. he gave you a small peck on the cheek before saying his goodbyes to his ex walking away with you, leaving her just standing there, watching as you lightly slap his shoulder for kissing you suddenly and him just smiling and pulling you closer to him

she was having second thoughts on leaving him. oh, she regretted it so much.

a/n: I HOPE THIS IS OKAY IM SO SO SORRY IF IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE TMT. i never intend to publish this actually but i felt like i want to because- my day today was not the best and i just want to do something to get things off my mind. I used to publish really random stories on wattpad when this happends and i want to bring that habit back so i don’t end up keeping these feelings and just blowing up one day. But yea- i really hope this makes sense. Feel free to leave feedbacks, i want to improve in my writing:))

Update : i created another blog so i’ll post more hc there @nekooonii so yethh please support me thank you:3

#haikyu x reader #haikyu #haikyuu #bokuto x reader #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagines

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fantranslatorbychoice · 4 years ago

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Oh glob, what have I gotten myself into? Just some long updates lol XD

Well, the year’s almost over, and it’s already the second half. The first half was too much and to be honest, I had to swim with the circumstances I am in right now so I had to put this passion non-profit project on hold, like seriously. But I did started translating the first few pages as early as December last year, as my very nice benefactor actually sent me the rest of the entire set of the Kakuriyo no Yadomeshi series after sending off the first 4 volumes. Probably read the entire thing first. But hey, free stuff is free so why complain. Plus my benefactor actually got the entire set for a steal, won’t say how much but in Amazon Japan, the last time I checked the whole set is roughly around $150 or a bit around that. and that’s just the first 7 volumes. Probably there’s an entire set now that’s about $200, as the final volume was released around August 2019.

Spoiler alert: the entire light novel series is made up of 10 volumes, so if you read it, the afterword by Yuuma-sensei specifically says that volume 10 is the final one, and Yuuma-sensei feels sad about it.

Yeah I highlighted that part in red, just in case many Kakuriyo fans still have some extreme hunger pangs or are unsure whether the novel series has ended. Here you go, straight from the horse’s mouth. Yuuma-sensei also has another Ayakashi light novel series, 浅草鬼嫁日記, roughly-translated to “Asakusa Wife from Hell Diaries”. Seems fun, they’re literally ogres - Oni living in the real world, like a reverse Kakuriyo thing. Who knows, maybe someday I can score that series too lol. The writer really likes Ayakashi, if it’s not that obvious yet 草草草草 yeah I write kusa lol oml I should stop... But returning to the Kakuriyo series.. I won’t spoil what happened lol but I will probably make a commentary on that once I get the translations up and running.

Which leads me to my next announcement:

I PLAN TO UPLOAD THE DIRECT TRANSLATIONS OF JUST THE INTERMISSIONS/INTERLUDES ( 幕間 ) AND THE AFTERWORDS (あとがき) OF EACH VOLUME.

Chapter 5 is the only complete and full English Translation that I will be uploading here, and the rest will be summarized versions of the chapters plus my translation notes and commentaries.

Bummer, right?

Well, to be honest, after starting my initial translations I ran into several issues which made me feel sucker-punched and added to the stuff I’m worried about:

Issues regarding plagiarism (either my stuff getting plagiarized or potentially being accused of it)

Translating everything actually takes too long, even for me (I’ll explain that later)

More serious issues like possible DMCA-ish complaints (won’t want my hardwork just getting flagged and killed)

Personal stuff piling up and affecting my momentum

To be honest, when I received the books, I was so excited to work with them and upload as much as I can. But lots of things happened one after another, plus the worldwide issue that we have right now, so doing fun stuff wasn’t at the front of my priorities. So at the moment, I am mostly offline, by necessity, like connection is slower and with data cap, so I mostly do my translations with whatever hardcopies of dictionaries that I have on hand, offline. It’s good and all since I can put my skills to the test, but it can be expected that not all of the words are available in the books so I still have to hook on Jisho just to find the missing words I need. So my stuff pretty much looks like this:

I could just take pictures of these and upload them here but the maximum number of pics that tumblr allows is 15, and good glob I have more than 15 pages of translated material. Plus, as you can see above, some parts are untranslated and I had to find them in Jisho once I get online, so right now I have about 50% word-processed with the raw parts cooked, and I only have 12 raw pages remaining to be cooked and hashed lol

Which leads me to my next issues: my slowness (yeah I have to surrender on my slowness) and my fears regarding plagiarism.

I actually only started doing these translations in full blast around 2 months ago, and eventually I had to slow down so I won’t get bogged down since I also do other stuff. But I found out that ploughing through it can get quite draining. I started thinking that fan-subbing and scanlating were easier because aside from working digitally, these were also mostly done in teams so work time gets cut. Well, those were the days lol But for this one, aside from flying solo, I had to use all of my offline resources a lot, like doing everything by hand. It finally broke me about half-way and I had to step away from it, like reaaaaally step away from it. I thought I could finish 50+ pages in a span of a week. Well, I wasn’t exactly wrong there, but I also had other stuff to do, and if I just read it like I would any book without having to do anything, it’s a done deal. But having to translate stuff was draining, I felt frustrated so it broke me. I have to write each page by hand, leave out the words I can’t find or don’t know, and move on to the next page until my body stops working. Rinse and repeat until I could finish about 10 pages and get on with the typesetting and completing the missing parts. That takes a while so I just do my best to be patient.

Then the thoughts of plagiarism popped in and out, like I started thinking how to ensure that my stuff doesn’t get stolen and reposted elsewhere, or worse, getting my site shut down because fan translations are ambiguously illegal, like fansubs and scanlations, and I think those were what got me the most, so I just gave up midway. I’d say ambiguously illegal because if a series or title wasn’t licensed elsewhere then translating it is a fair game. But if it’s already released as a translated version by publishers, then releasing a translated version is like labelled as stealing, even if it’s non-profit. Of course profiteering is the worst, some steal what others work hard for, that they did for free, and sell them off. Scumbags to the bone smh I do my best to be within the fair use thing since I understand how much effort is made in creating content, so at present I have just decided to just put up the intermissions and the afterwords because aside from these being only a few pages long, it’s less likely to get whacked. Plus it’s easier for my psyche to just sum up each chapter and add some comments on it so it won’t be taken down, plus I wont’ be too-attached so even if some nutjobs repost it elsewhere because some people are just unempathetic like that, at least I won’t be as resentful. Plus the afterwords are just so cute, Yuuma-sensei gives off an adorable and relatable vibe, so I feel like aside from just showing off her stories, I think she needs to get signal-boosted too, so people would have an idea on who wrote this hunger-inducing light novel series lol. I only started to pick up the whole thing again about a week ago, and I still wasn’t fast but at least I got to add at least 20 more pages translated, plus I started to type the first pages and add the missing words so at the very least, I felt some sort of achievement. It gave me some hope, and to be honest I have been doing this to maintain my sanity even for just a bit, so I guess I will do my best to bring Yuuma-sensei’s work out into the world. It’s a really good series, and it got animated into 2 seasons, plus the manga’s out, so that says a lot on how the series caught on. It can’t be denied that it’s a really engrossing series, so I don’t see any reason why this really good series should remain hidden. It probably has a lot of fans but aren’t being too attached into it because of language barriers, and even in my own way, I would like to bridge that gap. I mean, I may have slow internet that can only open mails in basic html but hey, this is the least I could do for the fandom. It’s not like I spew out doujin stuff or anything lol

OK, so summing up this long-ass update:

Chapter 5 - The Mysterious Capital Youto** - coming soon

Will just translate the intermissions and afterwords into English

English summaries of the chapters plus commentaries will be uploaded

Please don’t expect any fast uploads lol it’s not like I do ctrl+A into Google translate and slap it in here. Nothing against doing that but.. uhm, sometimes AI don’t get the nuances translated, and a lot gets lost in translation, so at best, anything done by some trash enthusiast, even noobs can still have some oomph in it that soulless beings can’t even top off. But hey, that’s just my opinion lol

So yeah, there you have it, a long update. Oh, and I changed the name of this blog because I have other raw stuff that I may be able to put here without any fear of being taken down because they’re in the public domain, so they’re all fair game since I don’t get any profit from them anyway and others may also appreciate them too. Hint: One is a series of Japanese classic fantasy short stories, the other one is a set of instructional manuals on how to write kana and kanji in ballpen and brushpens. They’re a bit lighter so once I get Chapter 5 up I’ll do them as soon as I get rested.

See you all later and thank you for stumbling in this blog. xoxoxo

#personal stuff #blog update #kakuriyo no yadomeshi #kakuriyo no yadomeshi spoilers #yuuma midori

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thesunnyshow · 4 years ago

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Name: reya

Writing Blog URL(s): @chu-ni

Age: 19

Nationality: african-british

Languages: english, swahili, korean

Star Sign: libra

MBTI: enfp/entp (it always changes lol)

Favorite color: purple!

Favorite food: i really love chicken burgers

Favorite movie: princess and the frog

Favorite ice cream flavor: vanilla!!

Favorite animal: elephants

Go-to karaoke song: fancy - twice

Coffee or tea? What are you ordering? caramel frappe with whipped cream, in general i prefer tea though

Dream job (whether you have a job or not)? secretary general at the UN….or an author

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose? making anyone agree with me and do what i want them to do

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose? ancient egypt!!

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you?.....no.

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken? neither if i could lmfao but i’d go for 100 chicken sized horses

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been? the nerd who’s actually really pretty after she gets a cool makeover

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures? im not sure about aliens, but i definitely believe in ghosts and spirits.

What are some small things that make your day better? when i can have moments to myself to enjoy my own company. or when someone asks me what i want to eat and they bring it for me 🥺

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know? uhm…...probably the fact that i write fanfiction lol..but outside of that! i sing in the shower. and i talk to myself a lot.

What fandom(s) do you write for? nct dream currently, but in the future i want to expand to other groups!

When did you post your first piece? 17th of June 2018.

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why? i can never write just one genre. predominantly i write fluff with a dash of angst for spice simply because i love a story that has an issue and then having that issue be resolved for a happy ending. when i started my blog i was 17, and so i said i wouldn't write smut. now that i'm older im feeling more and more comfortable writing suggestive content at the very LEAST.. so maybe in the future i might write smut, who knows? i like writing fluff because i like making people feel good, but i like adding angst to it because i feel like the contrast between the two is very *chefs kiss* to me.

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc? i only write x readers!

Why did you decide to write for Tumblr? i first got tumblr when i was 13 years old and i was a fresh kpop fan lmfao. i wanted somewhere that shared my interests. of course i discovered x reader fics on here and i was in awe, i guess of how much power writers had in contributing to fandom content and keeping readers satiated. i’d always loved to write and so i’d always wanted to start my own writing blog, and for 2 years i did write for other blogs! it wasnt until 2018 that i finally took the leap and decided to start my own, because i wanted to impact people's emotions and take them on a journey through my writing.

What inspires you to write? what inspires me….teen movies, music!! music is a big one for me, and also the books that i read. i also grew up playing otome games so the plots and writing from those influence my writing a lot.

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most? i really enjoy writing royalty!aus as well as exes!aus. i love to do them cause they require me to build a world and with royalty aus specifically i love weaving together bits of political intrigue, or arranged marriages, etc. its so much fun!!

What do you hope your readers take away from your work? that if this world is too rough or too much, you can always escape from it. it might not be physical, but immersing yourself in a universe that's entirely different for a little while can help soothe you.

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively? usually i try and take breaks. the problem with that is that my breaks can go on for longer than i’d like and im trying to fix that. so my other solution is to read read read!! read as much as i can, or go back to books that i loved. ask myself what i liked about the writing, what are some parts that i thought were amazing examples of good writing - i note them down then see if i can apply that to my own work. another thing i do is take a break from writing my longer, fleshed out works and write blurbs! blurbs are a great way for me to write but not feel like its tedious because i don't have to spend as much time on them and it gets me into the groove of writing without feeling stressed out.

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful? my favourite piece of work is miscommunication. it took me months to write that, even after i lost all the work halfway through, and its the longest piece of work i have written so far, so its kinda like my baby. my most successful is candy jar. its also the work i owe my blog exposure to - it was the first piece i published, and it was also the first piece of writing i did in around 4 years.

Who is your favorite person to write about? i don't have much out for them, but i really enjoy exploring mark’s and jeno’s characters. they're people, but in my work i enjoy analysing them and judging how they’d act in different contexts.

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose? the only difference for me is that fanfiction (depending on the fandom) has some of the stuff fleshed out for you already, such as the world its in. if youre the type to write AUs then the only thing you already have is the characters - the planning, the writing, the drafting, and everything else is still the writer's responsibility. therefore there isn't much of a difference between the two for me.

What do you think makes a good story? a good story, to me, is one that takes me on a journey. it could be any genre, but i like to feel immersed and connected to the characters and the world in it. also aside from the obvious, like good grammar, a good story feels natural to read. i don't feel like skim reading half of it.

What is your writing process like? my writing process consists of me getting inspiration - usually from a song, or a film or a book ive read or a game ive played - i note down my idea and who i want the story to be about, and then bullet point the whole story, with some snippets of particular dialogue i want the reader or the other person to say at certain scenes. i then open another document ( i have a writing app on my phone, called werdsmith, so i use that!) and set a word count goal i want to hit so i can track my progress and start writing the fic, with fleshed out language and exposition. when im done (usually after a couple weeks up to a few months, depends on the length of the plan) i read through it to fix any mistakes, then i transfer it to docs so i can read it again and italicise any areas i feel need it.

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story? i...don't think so. mainly because the original fiction i read and would like to write for myself is predominantly fantasy, whereas the fanfic i write on my blog is usually non-idol, normal fics.

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand? im a SUCKER for enemies to lovers, royalty ofc, “and they were roommates”, and i think superhero aus are really cool but there isnt enough of them :( idol/you as member aus....not feeling her… also abo/werewolf/vampire aus….not feelin em

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you? a LOT. a HUGE amount!! i said before how i like giving my readers somewhere where they can immerse themselves as an escape, even for a short while. hearing about how my work affected them, made them feel, makes me feel less insecure about what im writing and thus more confident to publish it.

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)? i’d say reblogs. and also putting out more content. when i first uploaded candy jar i went to my one of my favourite writers (jaeminlore) and asked her if she'd be okay with reading it and giving feedback. to my surprise she loved it and her reblogging it to all her followers is literally what gave me a bunch of followers all of a sudden who loved what i’d written. to keep that momentum i created more and more content, and while i haven't uploaded as often as i've wanted to or written as much as i’d wanted to, i can say i have a good amount of work on my masterlist for people who are looking for more to read.

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged? 100%. fanfic has an unfair reputation for just having bad writing and cringey fics (and i feel like this is because of the way society views the demographics who predominantly consume and create it), when in reality i feel like those who write fanfiction are extremely talented and selfless people. they're on the internet creating content for free for people to enjoy and like any other work of art they're putting time and effort into it. i think it should be respected. any form of art is going to have its good and bad sides.

Do you think art can be a medium for change? hmmm….yes. i feel it can be a way to reflect the thoughts of people and also be a way to inspire people to do more.

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself? sometimes. sometimes i feel like i'm forcing myself to write because i feel like if i don't then people will forget about me or they’ll forget about my blog. while what i choose to write about is for me, i feel like the speed of my writing and what im writing isn't to the quality i want it to be cause i feel like i gotta get it out for people to read.

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times? i've never felt that way!

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr? only 2 of my friends know, and i only told them like. a week ago!

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers? i wish you guys would message me more! i'm quite a sociable person, and i’d love to have regular anons who talk to me 👉🏽👈🏽

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there? i think one common thing amongst all writers is that we write what we want to read. so don't feel like nobody's gonna read your work, cause somebody will. you gotta act like your work is top tier even if someone says it isn't - always write the best you can, and just do it! like don't even give yourself time to overthink it, write that fic, make it look pretty, upload it onto tumblr and do not be afraid to ask your favourite fic writers to read your work once its up!! i’d be happy to read and give feedback for any fic writers as well so don't feel afraid!

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr? ive been on here for 7 years….i grew up on this site lmfao. but i don't think i regret joining tumblr once.

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey? shes not very active anymore and i miss her very much but user hyuck-s was so supportive and i love her!!

Pick a quote to end your interview with:

she believed she could, so she did.

BONUS ROUND: K-POP CONFIDENTIAL

#@chu-ni #thesunnyshow #featuredauthor #episode 32 #nct dream

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traumatizedtm · 4 years ago

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PODCAST EPISODES

Beyond the Falls Anniversary Special: The First Ever Episode

A crystal clear audio plays that is noticeable as the theme for Beyond The Unusual plays and there is a soft fade before light laughter comes into the audio. “Well, hey guys happy Wednesday. So, to save you all from the hell of reading another fan fiction I decided to server you up something nice.” There was a small and annoyed noise from Vinnie and a soft chuckle from Jude. “If you couldn’t tell, that was me flipping off Vinnie for once again being disappointed. However, this is something they haven’t heard yet so you are all going to hear this for the first time right beside Vinnie and Jude. Of course I will edit in their reactions at the end but you guys are gonna get the full audio before that. Since today is a very special day and the anniversary of the three of us officially working together I thought it would be cute to play the almost first episode. So I hope you guys enjoy and don’t forget to stay at the end to hear what the boys think.” There is soft laughter followed by a kicking sound as suddenly the audio clicks and changes to something else.

“Uhm--- Yeah, okay cool. Great oh my god it’s working. Oh dang, uh welcome to Investigations in The Strange and Unusual.” There was a pause, it was long and awkward it felt almost suffocating as if the anxiety that was radiating off of Mallory was seeping into whoever was listening. It was clear this was a first draft, a rough draft at that but what else could be expected from someones first attempt at a podcast. “So I need to be honest, I am probably never publishing this. I am probably gonna just focus on college but I needed something.” There is an uncomfortable laugh after these words followed by a sigh. Her head tilted down and there was a light drum on the table, listeners would later be familiar with this being one of the many anxiety coping mechanisms Mal had. “This first episode, I have other notes for but I needed to sit down and just try to record something. I wanted to---- I don’t know I guess explain this and myself and who I am before I got to involved. So yeah, you know what I am gonna do that.” Another soft background noise of a marker against a piece of paper, it was crisp and clear a little short. Another thing listeners would later come to know about Mallory. The extensive listing and researching that bordered on OCD level. A long pause is in the audio followed by a soft inhale and gentle exhale.

“My name is Mallory Evers I am twenty-two years old and today is the 13th anniversary of-” Another cut off with a small breathe another set of soft tapping while she spoke. “Of, the my parents and brothers murders. I know that is kind of weird and a bad opener but I need to just find something, anything to tell me if what happened, where they are is more than just an empty void.” There is another long silence filled with a gentle clink of a straw that is being sipped with a soft fizz. A carbonated drink gently filling the ears of anyone listening and a small ping. “Oh-- oops sorry, god this is so amature. Note to self put this in the fucking trash can. Anyways, since frankly I don’t have any friends, or anyone who really would care to do any of this or help me find any sort of closure to questions I want I am turning to this. It is a stupid idea and it isn’t going to work but I can try right. I want to focus on my town, Barren Falls and not just hoping that my family is maybe alive somewhere but everything. Strange and Unusual things that happen in this place or just anything. I want to find answers to what isn’t answered you know?” With another hesitation a gentle rustling takes the place of Mallory’s voice before she lightly clears her throat.

“ To be honest, I am struggling a lot right now, everything that has happened to me is really weighing heavy and I frankly feel really alone. I don’t know what I am gonna do if it keeps doing this, and I am starting to feel depersonalization come out a lot. I kind of just feel like I am looking in on someone else living my life and going through the motions. I have always kind of been on my own and I really don’t have any friends. My apartment is really a mess and I just feel empty. I suppose the reason I am doing this is to get rid of that and focus on something, maybe just I don’t know feel a connection to something. I am tired and just want to not feel lonely. I doubt this will get listeners and I doubt I will do more than maybe a weeks worth of episodes but I am hoping someone listens, and that they want to be here and experience things with me. I just----- I don’t want to be alone anymore. Is it dumb to think a podcast is gonna not make me feel like that? Oh my god, it is, jesus trash this. Future self throw this off a fucking cliff. I am---” There was another ping, quickly followed by another and another before an annoyed sigh filled the air.

“Okay this is just- oh.” A small giggle that felt like a warm summer day filled the audio at this point. “Right, so uhm I actually have people that I know. I don’t really know what I am to either of them but I care about them both a lot. I grew up with one of them actually. It’s really stupid we went to high school together and I actually had to tutor him but uh, he still talks to me which is funny considering I am like literally the most boring person on the planet and he could probably own his own island. But he is absolutely incredible, his smile it just---- it makes everyone feel warm inside and like they could be more you know. I don’t know I just, I am glad he talks to me is what I mean. Who wouldn’t be, aside from being really funny and super fun he is just, he feels real to me. My dad would’ve loved him, well after he got past the facade of course.” There was laughter at that followed by a small cringe.

“Great, I just laughed at myself, that’s yeah yep. Anyways, there is of course, my newest person. He is different from the other but like not in a bad way you know. He is kind of like me I think, we both kind of just exist and carry a lot. But we try, I don’t know what we try, to be people I guess, to just take everything one day at a time but he is kind. He--- uhm--- he reminds me of maybe what my brother would be like. I don’t know I just sit with him and I feel like i have known him since I was really young and like we are family. I think, I don’t really--” There was a small hesitation as a light sniffle and rustle were hear from the gentle wiping of tears. This was all punctuated by the slight cracking of her voice when she started to talk again. “I don’t really remember what it likes to feel like that so I think that what I feel with him is that but I can’t be sure. And I guess they both remind me of why I am doing this. Because as much as I want to answer the unanswered like the murders, I just want people, a family of my own again. Because I am just I am so lost and I hate it and myself so much because of it. But not with them, and hopefully not with this because I want to be friends with them both so bad for so long. And this--- I don’t know about this yet but I want it. I want to be able to help people like me because if I can do it, with everything that happened to me, and that happens here maybe it can you know, help other people.” At this point the all too familiar crying words often spoken on the show are breaking through.

“This isn’t going to go anywhere, nothing I do does because its me but uh I guess this is okay for a first draft and try. Future self you better delete this in case you leave it open and Vinnie comes over, or god forbid you and Jude get wine drunk together and watch B Movies and he opens this. Oh my god wait---- Okay yeah delete this before Vinnie hears it because he is gonna know you have a massive crush on him, and Jude is gonna think you are weird as hell. We have hung out like twice and I am out here acting like he is my brother. Oh my god. Yeah I am done. I am never doing this again. I am so dumb.”

There is a small interlude of music followed by a light sponsorship and then another interlude of music. “Well, that was a very short but uh-- loaded clip there guys but---” Mallory’s voice was cut off with a light teasing of how she looks like a tomato. “Oh my god shut up! I am just embarrassed okay! I literally outed myself for liking Vinnie in the first episode and now you know---- oh right uhm I am doing the hand motion thing, you know the one I always do at conventions when looking for words.” More laughter from the boys followed by an exasperated sigh from Mallory. “Alright can it, I am being bullied and this is supposed to be the fun podcast not the one I cry in. But, I think this proves that even when I thought things wouldn’t work out they did. I mean---- look at us now. Jude we live together, I am pretty sure people think we are legally related and that’s nice.” There is a small smile and an exchange that sounds like a light hug between the pair with a delicate tapping of the mic. “And I mean I guess Vinnie is here too and that’s alright.” A small chuckle from Mallory this time. “I meant it though, I still think all of that and I absolutely could not be happier. I love you. And I wanted to do this because I think another thing we should be talking about here is vulnerability. Which, is what it is time for you two to show now as well. What did you think about that, or when I asked you to join me, or even when we met how did you feel about me, about the podcast and about potentially our relationships personally and professionally moving forward?”

#&&. ɪ'ᴍ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴀ ʙᴀɴᴅᴀɪᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ꜰᴇᴇʟꜱ ɪᴛ (headcanons)

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hforhonesty · 5 years ago

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Book Review #2 | Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell

“Cath and Wren are identical twins and until recently they did absolutely everything together. Now they’re off to university and Wren’s decided she doesn’t want to be one half of a pair any more – she wants to dance, meet boys, go to parties and let loose. It’s not easy for Cath. She would rather bury herself in the fanfiction she writes where there’s romance far more intense than anything she’s experienced in real life.

Now Cath has to decide whether she’s ready to open her heart to new people and new experiences, and she’s realizing there’s more to learn about love than she ever thought possible…” [Official synopsis of the book]

Alternative title: “Ode to our Inner Fangirl” or “Every fangirl must-read”.

This book was pretty popular when I was still active on my fandoms but I, uhm, refused to read it.

(Because I’m disturbed)

(Ask anyone)

Seriously, though. I was only 14 at the time and I was going through that phase that didn’t let me read books outside the fantasy genre, given my not-so-little obsession toward Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, The Mortal Instruments, Hunger Games, and so on.

I bought my first copy on July 2014, during a fortnight study holiday in Dublin. I also got something like ten other books and had to purchase a carry-on because they wouldn’t fit in my luggage, but that’s another story.

Anyway, as soon as I started Fangirl, I decided to read only a few chapters for each night instead of finishing it in a glorious one-night-stand. You need to know that I have always been a fast-reader, but this time… I really didn’t want to finish it; instead, I wanted to enjoy every single line and make the book last as long as possible.

Before we start talking about Fangirl, you need to know that it is set in an alternative universe where Gemma T. Leslie is the actual author the Simon Snow Series, which is worldwide famous. Since the eighth and last book of the series is about to be published, most fans seized the day and decided to write on the Internet their own versions of the story, so that they could all have a say in the matter regarding the end.

“The whole point of fanfiction,” she said, “is that you get to play inside somebody else’s universe. Rewrite the rules. Or bend them. The story doesn’t have to end when Gemma Leslie gets tired of it. You can stay in this world, this world you love, as long as you want, as long as you keep thinking of new stories...” “Fanfiction,” Levi said.

“Yes.”

Cath Avery is undoubtedly Simon Snow’s #1 FAN. She loves the books so much that she owns something like every gadget of the series: posters, drawings, t-shirts, commemorative busts of Simon and Baz...

Just take a look at the fanart of her room made by Simini Blocker:

However, if someone asked Cath if there were something about the series that she wanted to change, the answer would be the most affirmative yes in the history of yes-s.

Because in Gemma T. Leslie’s version of Simon Snow, he and Baz Pitch are just enemies... And Snowbaz is a CRACK SHIP.

I mean, only G̶e̶m̶m̶a̶ ̶T̶.̶ ̶L̶e̶s̶l̶i̶e̶ a monster would write about their amazing chemistry and THEN DELIBERATELY CHOOSE NOT TO MAKE THEIR RELATIONSHIP ROMANTIC.

I need five minutes to calm down.

Inhala, exhala.

Okay. Fine. Fine. I’m cool. I’m fine.

So sorry you had to witness my wig snatching. Anyway...

Since R̶a̶i̶n̶b̶o̶w̶ ̶R̶o̶w̶e̶l̶l̶ Cath is also Snowbaz’s #1 FAN, she has to do something about this contempt of court, so she writes several fanfictions using the nickname Magicath and becomes beyond popular. People all around North America read her fanfictions, and she’s pretty well-known in Japan, too.

She’s currently working on her latest fanfiction, Carry on, which is her own version of the eighth book.

Wait a minute, you say. Is her fanfiction the same as Rainbow’s book?

The answer is no. Rainbow herself said that her book and Cath’s fanfiction are pretty much different, so you don’t have to worry about spoilers while you’re reading Fangirl. Moreover, here’s the link to my spoiler!free review/analysis of Carry on, which can be read by both newbies or og members of the fandom.

Anyway... As you can see, Cath loves writing – and she loves it so much that not only she’s majoring in English, but she’s also convinced her advisor to let her take Intro to Fiction-Writing, which is a class only for junior students.

Intro to Fiction-Writing is taught by professor Piper, whom I consider one of the best fictional-teachers of all time. One of my favourite scenes of the book is set during her very first lecture, when she asks her students why people write fiction.

The first time I read Fangirl, I remember putting the book down for a moment and asking myself how I would have answered if I had been one of those students. I probably would have kept the answer for myself, but the point is that, as I was getting lost on my thought, I couldn’t come up with an explanation of why I write.

It’s a tricky question for a writer, isn’t it? I bet that we could all come up with replies that couldn’t be more different from each other. We have a urge to write and we try to get along with it, but where does this urge come from? And what does it say? Does it speak a universal language?

Five years later, I think I’ve found my answer.

I’m an introvert. I’m loud and talkative when I’m with my friends, but I can’t even order a pizza on the phone — which is kind of funny, whatever.

Being an introvert also means that I have a hard time identifying myself with fictional characters. They are what I like to call the ‘Quiet Ones’, of course, but they seem to overcome their introversion, which is described as a huge problem that needs to be fixed, and gain tons of ““confidence”” (see: extroversion) toward the end of the book | series | movie | tv show, becoming totally different people.

So why do I write?

I write because I want people like me to know that they are not alone, that there’s nothing wrong with them, that there are people out there who think and feel things just like they do.

Because darling, we don’t need to be fixed.

We are just introverts.

Why do I write? Cath tried to come up with a profound answer – knowing she wouldn’t speak up, even if she did.

But she does. I mean, she does come up with an answer. More than one, actually. And while I was reading this scene, I was like, how is it even possible? How can I relate so much to a character that I’ve known for less than twenty pages?

“To explore new worlds,” someone said.

“To explore old ones,” someone else said. Professor Piper was nodding.

To be somewhere else, Cath thought.

“To set ourselves free,” a girl said.

To get free of ourselves.

“To stop hearing the voices in our head,” said the boy in front of Cath. [...]

To stop, Cath thought.

To stop from being anything or anywhere at all.

“Why do we write fiction?” Professor Piper asked.

Cath looked down at her notebook.

To disappear.

Cath can’t help isolating herself from everyone but her loved ones. Her father suffers from bipolarism, and her mother abandoned her and Wren because she wasn’t interested in motherhood.

When your family is incapable of loving you, it leaves a mark that lasts a lifetime. You’re afraid of rejection, you know that nobody will ever accept you for who you are, and you can’t stop thinking that if your own mother left you, then everyone else will eventually do the same.

So what’s the point in letting them break your heart any way?

“No,” Cath said, “seriously. Look at you. You’ve got your shit together, you’re not scared of everything. I’m scared of everything. And I’m crazy. Like maybe you think I’m a little crazy, but I only ever let people see the tip of my crazy iceberg. Underneath this veneer of slightly crazy and socially inept, I’m a complete disaster.”

Reading this quote was like watching my reflection on the mirror. I felt every single word of what she was saying, I felt her insecurities, her second-guessing, her fears. For a moment she was me... and I was her.

Fangirl made me realise that I’m not alone, that there is nothing wrong with who I am, that there are people out there who think and feel things just like I do.

So it’s pretty obvious that Cath belongs to the Quiet Ones. What makes her different, however, is that she doesn’t give anything up; instead, she accepts herself for who she is. And at the end of the story, she has gained more confidence, it’s true, but she’s still Cath Avery, which is one of the reasons why I love this book so much.

Thank you for reading my review. I hope you guys enjoyed it! :)

With love,

M.C.

Post scriptum: I can’t believe that my first review on Carry on got 102 notes! That’s insane, guys! I can’t believe it! Okay, enough with the exclamation marks. It’s just that... Wow. Even Rainbow Rowell herself liked it. I mean, RAINBOW ROWELL. For Heaven’s sake, I couldn’t be more thrilled.

So thank you, thank you very much. You’ve made my year.

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thebrochtuarachs · 6 years ago

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Arranged: Chapter 3

Modern AU. Set in 2018. Where Claire and Jamie are arranged to be married.

CH: 1 - 2

AO3

A/N: Sorry it took a while to write this. The past month just has been incredibly weird and strange. But I am happy this is up now, I had a wee writers block on how to make them go forward but I think I found the way. So excited to write what's next. Hope you like this chapter and it's always good to see and hear your comments and suggestions <3

CHAPTER 3: The First Afternoon

It was the morning after the dinner, Claire was on the bus heading to uni to start another day. Usually, she’d spent the 10-minute ride browsing through class notes but today, she found herself staring out the window and watching the city scene go by. Musing with recent events, Claire can’t help but think about Jamie.

Jamie Fraser wasn’t a stranger in her life. On the contrary, she cannot remember her life without him.

Looking back, she remembered their days, growing up in their family dinners. Jamie was two years ahead of her, he was basically in her life even before she knew it and they practically grew up together.

Sure, Jenny and Willie were also there in that scenario as well but with the recent arrangement, she focused on the times she was only with him. Before any of this, she only thought of him as a really close family friend but didn’t think they were really that close. But the more she thought about them, the more wrong she found herself.

She remembered playing in the green fields of their backyard, stealing toys from each other or playing tag; carpooling to and from elementary school for some years, heading straight to either of their house until a parent can come and pick them up; watching the same cartoons, singing the theme song together once it was on; how they would take afternoon naps after watching said show and be woken up exactly at 4PM for some afternoon snacks; how all of them - her, Jenny, Jamie and Willie - would all play house or castle rescue, and how her and Jamie were always deemed the “king and queen” combo or the “prince and damsel” duo, where in the end, he would always save her; In some days, they would even have wedding scenarios played out as part of the story of happily ever after. It was all very innocent and fun, and at the time, no one thought any malice into it. It was just pure childhood fun.

Everything sort of changed when they entered high school. Jamie and Claire went to exclusive boys and girls catholic schools and naturally, they had their own circle and friends and their interactions were limited to their family dinners. Heading off to college, Claire took a pre-med course and Jamie took-up a pre-law course and now, she’s in medical school while he’s busy running the family’s publishing house business. Although they both stayed in Edinburgh, their paths never crossed as often as one would think.

However, despite growing up and somehow, maybe, growing apart, when they do see each other, they would talk and interact as they normally do – the long-time friends they are – and update each other on the status of their lives. All very civil, normal and nothing more.

What’s even more puzzling to Claire, now, is in these times and nobody ever teased them about the “what ifs” of them ending up together. Nobody ever spoke to them in that way, nobody gave an inkling about this merger ever happening. Nobody had a rumored crush on anyone. Nobody gave them any thought and no one gave her any indication to. As far as she knew, Jamie Fraser was and will always be just a long-time family friend in her life.

The shock of the engagement was wearing off but Claire was determined to get to the bottom of this. Jamie was right – their parents aren’t impulsive enough to set this up lightly. There is a deep, real reason for it and she will know it and put a stop to it.

“Darling, there you are!” Frank called as she stepped out of the car, breaking her thoughts of Jamie.

Frank – her very new and current suitor. They’ve been seeing each other for over a month and Claire was totally smitten with the professor right from the moment they met at the university library when he helped her carry her loads of medical books from the shelf to the table.

He make a joke – she can’t remember it anymore – but it made her laugh in what was a stressful exam week and she was charmed by his aristocratic elegance and wit. They got to talking after that and she found out he was a history professor and almost a decade older than her (though she thought he didn’t look like it).

She hadn’t told her parents about him because of what they might think of her dating a much older man and how it can affect their position in the university. She was a student (she can argue that she’s in medical school and not some undergraduate bimbo) and he was a teacher – that scenario doesn’t look good in any way, shape or form. Also, she wasn’t entirely certain of him yet - so she’s taking her time to get to know him a little bit more before she allows him more into her life.

As they met in the middle of the courtyard, Frank noticed her somber aura. “What is it, Claire?” he asked, concerned.

“Oh, it’s nothing. Just got up in the wrong side of the bed” she lied. He took it at face value and thought nothing more. Clearly, he doesn’t know her yet as he hadn’t caught up with the jig.

“Okay!” He said, really not noticing it. “I gotta run to class. I’ll see you in the afternoon?”

“Yes – No! I forgot I have a group meeting later and don’t know how long would that be. Uhm…maybe just call me later and see where I’m at?” She said. Frank just nodded and went on his way.

It was technically a groupmeeting – they were two people, that counts. She was going to see Jamie in a nearby coffee shop and start this ridiculous quest. The day went by with Claire mostly working on autopilot student mode. Her mind ran scenarios on where they should start to investigate, people they can ask favor for to look into their family company. They should also fix their schedules and think about how this will affect their studies. This investigation was going to take over their lives and both seem to be in agreement with it – Claire, simply, wants it to be over.

He was already seated when she arrived, her favorite beverage, hot and waiting, on the table. “Sorry, I’m late. The bus was late and there was so many people waiting in line…” Claire explained herself. “It’s no mind, Claire.” Jamie stopped her before she went on a long narrative. She just smiled and took her seat across from him.

“Oolong Tea” Jamie pointed to the cup. “I hope ye dinna mind me orderin’ for ye. I canna choose which pastry ye’d like today though, so I’ll let ye choose that one.”

“It’s fine. That’s what I was going to drink anyway and I’ll order the bread later.” Claire thought about how Jamie knew her drink but with their long history, she thought she shouldn’t be shocked about it. After all, she knew his drink even though the lid of the coffee cup hid its contents – it was black, three sugars.

“Where do we begin?” she asked, hoping it’ll shift her thought from their apparent familiarity.

“Well, what did yer parents say to ye again?”

“That this was a business merger of some sort, which honestly, doesn’t make sense. Your business seems to be fine, ours is as well. Do you have any idea about the financial status of your company?”

Jamie shrugged. He already knows falling numbersis not the problem but this was the ruse. As much joy it was to spend with her, it equally pained him for it to be this way. “I guess we can start there?” He suggested. “Let me call Rupert and Angus Mackenzie from Finance, I’m sure they can discreetly hand me the finances since…2010? I’ll just go that far back just in case.” Real reason was to accumulate as much paperwork to get lost themselves in.

Since the Frasers and Beauchamps are both stakeholders in each other’s company, they both had access to the numbers for both companies. Acquiring the data was not that hard.

“Hi, Rupert! I’m okay, just settling back” Jamie said as he called Rupert. “Rupert, I was wondering if you could send me the year-end numbers of our company and the Beauchamps dating back in 2010? Yes, - No, I would just like to study the trends…”

“No need to explain. I got you, Jamie! I’ll send it in an hour.” Rupert answered back with a knowing laugh, interrupting Jamie’s ramble of an explanation. His parents must’ve set this up too. Jamie sighed hopelessly, thanked Rupert and ended the call.

“Files will be sent in an hour” Jamie said.

“I guess we got time to kill. Would you mind if I did a bit of studying? We’re already here and we gotta wait.” Claire asked.

“No, no, go ahead. I was just going to ask the same thing.” He replied with a smile as he started pulling out his stuff from his bag.

They were occupying in a four-seater table, the space just enough for each of them to claim a side. Claire put out her laptop, two medical books, a notebook and lots of pencils and ballpens. Jamie, also, pulled out his laptop, three novels, a notebook and lots of highlighters. Both silently went on their respective study sessions.

A little over a half hour in, Jamie disrupted Claire’s thought with a question. “Claire, do you need a refill?”

She looked up, a little disoriented. “Hm, what? Oh, yes, please, thank you.”

Jamie took her cup and went to bar to fill her tea with a fresh pour of hot water. He refilled his coffee too. As he set down her cup, Claire inadvertently let out a question. “How did you know I refill?” She was curious as to how much Jamie really knew her. She saw him turn a little shy in her question as he placed a hand on the back of his neck.

“Well, ye’ve been drinking Oolong tea since we were wee bairns and ye always made sure that the tea bag is always well-used and that meant two, maybe three, uses until it lost its flavor for ye. Also, you’re doing that eye-scrunch thing when ye’re thinking so hard of a thing ye canna or tryna figure out. Thought it a good time to distract ye.”

“Well, it was. Thank you” Claire said monotonously as she took a sip of her tea. “I see you’re still coloring your books with highlighters.” She said, pointing at his many colors of markers on his table.

“And I see ye’re still placing wee snacks on each paragraph in yer book.” Jamie retorted back and they shared a small laugh.

“It’s been a while since we studied together but it seems like some things never change”

“Aye, some things never do, Sassenach” Jamie said tenderly, looking straight into Claire’s eyes.

“Hey, you haven’t called me that in forever!” Claire exclaimed excitedly. “What does that mean again?”

“Och, nothing. It just means Englishman, or in yer case, Englishwoman. An outlander, not from Scotland”

“Right, right! That’s the only name you’d call me growing up, I almost forgot my own!”

“Really?” Jamie never knew the name meant possibly more than Claire let on and he was curious to know the story behind it. However, a ding on Jamie’s computer alerted them back to the task at hand.

“Ach, the email is here” Jamie informed Claire and she quickly got up, went over to his side, pulled out a chair and sat beside him. She peered so close at his computer their cheeks were almost side to side.

“Open it, open it!” Claire said, waving a hand to Jamie to hurry up.

“Patience!” he chuckled as the file filled the screen.

Both simultaneously groaned when the file they got was filled with so much number, just pure numbers, neither of them can make it out. Rupert must’ve made it so complicated, they’ll never figure anything out.

“Seriously, Rupert!” Claire rolled her eyes, annoyed.

“I’ll call him –“

“No. He might get suspicious if we ask so much and so frequently. We, erm, we…can figure this out”

“How about we call it for the day? We got the file, we can look at it tomorrow instead.” Jamie said, looking to prolong the evidence. If they start on this now, Claire will never stop for the rest of the afternoon and probably evening. “I got an exam I have to study for anyway. Unless, you want to have a go at it?”

Claire shook her head. She’s got to study too. “No, you’re right. I have to study too.” She sighed. “We have to talk about a schedule where this research is not going to interfere with our studies – which is our top priority”

Jamie just nodded. “How about we meet here every after class and maybe spend 2-3 hours looking at this, then we go back to our studies? Sounds like enough time to balance our day?”

They reached an agreement and let the investigation stop for the day. Claire reached for her stuff to pack but when she noticed Jamie didn’t move and just continued to go back to highlighting his pages. “Aren’t you going home or somewhere else to study?”

“Och, I’m already here and the ambiance is good, thought I’d stay until the evening.” Jamie replied with a sheepish smile. Claire looked around and the atmosphere was good. The smell of the coffee was inviting, the people were quiet, and a change of scene was probably what she needed to focus. It wasn’t bad either that she’s with Jamie, they were friends after all. With that, she put her stuff back on the table and decided to stay as well. Jamie stayed silent and they went on their own business but she saw the small tug in his lips and he smiled.

A loud ringing of the cellphone brought them out of their space. It was Claire’s phone and Claire’s mother calling.

“Hello, yeah – I’m sorry. I’m on my way home. No, just got lost in studying” Claire rapidly explained as Jamie could hear her mother’s rapid line of questioning. “Yep, I’ll be there in 15 minutes. Love you, bye”

“Ye’ll be there in 5” Jamie said. “I’ll take ye home”. It was already 8:00PM and they were going to miss dinner.

“What? No, Jamie. It’s fine. The bus by this time are probably not that full.” They were quickly packing their stuff while, also, quickly negotiating their travel plans.

“I have a car and we live in the same neighborhood. Ye canna argue with that logic, Claire.”

Claire grumbled but relented. It was certainly easier and convenient and again, Jamie was no stranger. On some unsurprisingly absurd level, she trusts him completely. She reasons it’s probably from the years they’ve known each other. Nonetheless, if Jamie acts inappropriately, she’ll just tell him to their mothers.

The drive home was quick and Jamie, being the true gentleman he was, insisted that he open Claire’s passenger door and walk her right in front of her doorstep. She was about to protest but his actions were quicker and for the fourth time that day, she let him…erm…look out for her.

“Thank you for a lovely afternoon. For the tea, the records, the study time, and the ride home” she said as she turned around to bade him goodbye. They were standing in a respectable distance from one another, just as friends do. “Would you like to stay for dinner? It’s the least I can offer for the tea.”

“Ah, no. My family is waiting on me too. I’ll have my hide if mam doesna see me on the table”

“Well, then, goodnight, Jamie.”

“Goodnight, Sassenach. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

#outlander #outlander fanfic #outlander fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #arranged #arranged au #jamie fraser #Claire fraser #Claire Beauchamp #modern AU #how do you make those gorgeous moodboards #ahihihihi #tb writes

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bambyeol · 6 years ago

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This Band (p.7)

B.A.M SEQUEL now updating daily!

pairing/s: band! park jihoon x oc ; band! bae jinyoung x oc ; doctor! hwang minhyun x oc

character/s: park jihoon, park woojin, bae jinyoung, ong seongwoo, kim jaehwan, ha sungwoon, lai guanlin, kang daniel, yoon jisung, hwang minhyun

genre: angst, fluff, music (band)

summary: never date your band mate.

warning : a sequel so I’d appreciate it if you’ll read B.A.M first. though you can always live dangerously and read this immediately.

This Band (p.1) This Band (p.2) This Band (p.3) This Band (p.4) This Band (p.5) This Band (p.6) This Band (p.9) This Band (p.10) This Band (p.11) This Band (p.12) This Band (p.13) This Band (p.14) This Band (p15) This Band (final)

B.A.M p1 // B.A.M p2 // B.A.M p3 // B.A.M final

wanna one masterlist

song inspiration: Don’t Want To Be An Idol by VIXX

Because I’m an idol, because I’m a celebrity

I can’t hold your hand when we walk ...

She switched on the television in the lounge room, continuously coursing through the channels with little interest, a blank expression on her face as the sound from the television droned out.

She felt numb from the hospital gossip and the anonymous messages; the curious glances from the staff, and the not-so-subtle interrogation just to prove that it was a far-fetched idea that she dated Park Jihoon.

On the other side of the screen, Jihoon sat along with his co-stars finding it more and more unbearable to continue with the press-con.

The atmosphere in the said press-con reeked of tension. Everyone was waiting, second guessing on dropping the question, but no one took the chance. No one dared to ask. Instead, they threw watered down questions, the usual “Can you say something about the drama?” or “How was working with actor X”

When the host deemed that the reporters had asked enough, and formally closed the discussion, Jihoon decided to finally take the leap. He was busily observing throughout the press-con, segregating the veteran reporters from the neophytes.

He knew from his experiences that the new ones always had the guts to ask the unwanted questions.

“Really? Is that all? I think Miss Kim in the back wanted to ask one more question.” He smiled innocently as he pointed to the young woman with the name tag Kim who dressed a little too fashionably for that boring press-con.

“Ahh, uhm” she stuttered, flipping fastly on her notes and shuffled through the set questions until she finally found the unasked question. Miss Kim looked around only to find everyone’s eyes on her, a nonverbal cue to pressure her into asking.

“Can you give us a statement regarding the controversy about you and your former bandmate, Miss Bae Riseul?”

Everyone held their breaths in suspense. Jihoon grabbed the mic. “Sure.”

Immediately, all the reporters who initially feigned disinterest regarding the issue held onto their pens, opened the voice recorders and started scribbling for notes. The cameraman immediately zoomed to Jihoon.

“To put it simply, during our days as members of B.A.M, Rise-- Ms. Bae and I did have a relationship with each other,” Jihoon started and everyone nodded along.

“We dated for two years before we broke up. After the break up, we quit the band although it was Ms. Bae who quit first to pursue her studies. I quit 2 months later and pursued becoming an idol. During those years, we didn’t establish any contact with each other. In the recent B.A.M concert, it was pure coincidence we ran across each other. The hospital visitations weren’t meant for her at all. Earlier this year, I was involved in a car accident. I was advised to undergo therapy for my knees.” He explained calmly and perfectly just as how he had it in his mind.

“What we are now are nothing but friends. It may be hard to believe, but we have both grown as individuals and clearly understand the extent of our relationship.”

“But, what about --” another reporter chimed in, but before he could even deliver his question,

“The only reason I took this chance to explain everything about us is because everyone has gone overboard regarding the issue. The other party became harassed over misleading news up to the point where her own safety has been compromised that may have even caused serious injury or death.” His eyes spoke of uncontained anger.

“Ms. Bae may have been my ex-girlfriend, but regardless of who she was once in my life, it’s unacceptable to threaten someone and even hurt someone. I would like to remind everyone that the law is there to punish you, and I am more than willing to assist in tracking whoever tried to harass Ms. Bae in any form. And to the reporters, I hope that you’re aware that publishing false news could call for legal actions against you. That’s all.” Jihoon rested the microphone on the table and bowed before leaving the hall to prevent the media from swarming him with questions.

He didn’t know if his statement would do more harm than good, but he wished that his boldness and honesty would at least charm a few. Everything blew to his favor though when netizens and articles suddenly painted their relationship in a positive light, and Jihoon’s actions as chivalrous and admirable. Although some remained to criticize Riseul, he was comforted that everyone was starting to turn over.

Soon, everything would be over. ---

He stood by the hallway trying to blend in with the numerous patients queuing for their check-up. He saw her from afar, standing out amidst the pool of plain white and greys in that hospital. He would have been able to find her anywhere because his eyes always followed her every step. And he couldn't help but find a small smile on his face upon seeing that the woman he loves so much conquered her fears and achieved her dreams.

She neared him while walking along some of her fellow doctors and he waved. Riseul to his direction, confusion on her face. The last time they met, she lashed out at him with how he managed to turn her life upside down again. It was puzzling how he was back so soon.

"Jihoon-ssi, are you here for your therapy?" Jihoon felt the forced civilness in her voice and a smile reserved for acquaintances. They were just a meter apart but he still managed to feel that he was just a stranger to her life now.

“I came to say goodbye since I’ve completed the sessions for the therapy,” he answered. No surprise landed on her face.

“Are you okay? Are you still receiving emails or did any one try to hurt you?”

“It’s all good now. Thank you, Jihoon-ssi” she hugged the clipboard she carried.

“You don’t need to thank me. I dragged you into that mess, and I really don’t want to let you go through that again so I won’t bother you anymore. I know that you’ll be uncomfortable if we practice for the Reunion together so I’ll just reject it. I won’t perform. So please, attend the reunion of B.A.M and sing again,” he bowed.

"Don't bow to me. It's making me uncomfortable." Riseul replied as she gazed at Jihoon's figure. He retracted and she tried to meet his eyes before breaking it off. Jihoon still had that same gaze, resolute and unfazed. She tugged the end of her sleeves, her fingers fidgeting... a habit coming from her nervousness.

"It was nice meeting you again...Riseul-ssi." and he walked past her as he headed towards the exit of the hospital. Five years he wondered how she was, but now he's relieved, so it should be okay even if the tears threatened to fall.

She was his first love and looking back to their past, he wanted her to be the last as well.

His phone vibrated as he exited the facility.

One text message received.

I’ll see you in B.A.M practice. Don’t be late.

-Bae Riseul

He raised his eyebrows before breaking into laughter. It seemed like she wasn't planning to let her hold on him wear off anytime soon.

notes: I am back from the dead known as tumblr lag.

finished a jaehwan fic and will post it after completing this

currently working on BAM side stories concerning other characters and who they’ll end up with ;)

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sol1056 · 6 years ago

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I think all yall choreograph the asks or something. I seem to get the same topic in batches. This time, two non-anon and one anon (not counting DMs even), so I’m just going to wrap it all up together since there was a lot of overlap.

behind the cut: where I get ideas, beta readers, writing ahead, writing fast, editing fast, dealing with OCs, writing emotional scenes, and how I learned to write. questions about publishing and agents will be in the followup.

where do you get your ideas

the ‘what if’ questions. the source might vary -- a story if it’s fanfic, or history if it’s profic. by what-if, I mean a throwaway comment, implication, plot hole, gap, or missed chance. what if the characters end canon with this other dynamic, what if the protagonist goes left instead of right at a crucial moment, what if Lý Chiêu Hoàng hadn’t been deposed as queen regnant, what if Nobunaga had survived the attack at Honnō-ji, what if Nyi Roro Kidul had founded her own people, etc.

from there, I stage that moment in my head like a fractal, seeking out the most interesting ways everything could go wrong. what I'm looking for is an image, a bit of dialogue, capturing that moment of sacrifice, betrayal, a twist in some way. this either ends up as the precipitating event, the midpoint, or the finale (basically one of the three pivotal emotional points). then I work backwards from there. for ffic, I need to figure out how characters get from canon to that point; for profic, I figure out what kind of characters would end up there.

do you have a beta reader

uhm. not really? I’ve asked for help a few times, when I’m not sure of a particular characterization, but other than the first chapter of Bonds (for reasons I’ll explain in the followup), I don’t usually bother. after all, it’d be horribly rude to send off a chapter and then expect anyone to respond inside of a week. let alone a few days. I envy people who have the patience to wait on a beta reader ‘cause I feel like their stories are tighter as a result, but since there are small amazonian frogs with more patience than me, I figure what I write must stand or fall on its own.

however, I do tend to bestow snippets liberally on whomever’s talking to me online while I write, and I pay attention to their reactions. in fanfic, I’ll also sometimes run a scenario past a few people to see if their gut instinct on a characterization matches mine. that might be a kind of narrow-focus beta reading, maybe.

do you write some/all before you post

nope. I totally post-as-I-go (and yes that does mean at some point I was writing about 6K nightly, I’m not proud). if you said I had to write the entire thing, edit carefully, review, even let it sit for awhile before posting, I’d probably hurt something. or I’d just explode from the enforced waiting.

for profic first draft (or fanfic final draft, same thing), I plan 2-3 chapters in advance. then I write until the word count hits 6K or so, call it a chapter, post, and start on the next chapter. I do that until I run out of plan. then I assess again, figure out the next few chapters’ plan, and repeat until the story feels done.

how do you write so fast

because a) I type fast, and b) you’re reading what’s effectively the first draft. writing that first go-round is always quick. I just sit down and spit out words. it’s polishing it into profic-levels, that editing phase, that can take weeks, even months. I’ve written pivotal scenes from scratch five, six, seven times if that’s what it takes. you’re just benefiting from my laziness with fanfic, basically.

how do you edit so fast

actually, I don’t. I tend to do it in fits and starts. even fanfic, if you compared first version posted with the current version, you’ll find changes here and there. mostly smoothing choppy parts, disambiguating, or just clarifying a muddy description. sometimes readers report a phrase felt wrong, or didn’t make sense, and I’ll tweak the offending line.

there are tricks to make it easier, though.

for profic, I write in scrivener, with a font of Open Sans, Lato, or Avenir, depending on my mood. a first pass of editing for the glaring issues, then I shift to full-screen display and change the font to Baskerville Old Face, Perpetua, or Oregon LDO. the radical font-change means sentences don’t end visually where they did before, and the serif element means I have to slow down slightly to read, a lot more will leap out at me. with fanfic, I write in google docs and post in AO3, but otherwise the font-changing process is similar.

how do you keep OCs from taking over

an OC is just a character who was -- or might’ve been -- in canon but had no lines. they’re third person from the left, in that crowd scene in episode 17. they occupy the same world, and they have a story of their own -- it’s just not this story. they have a goal, but the core question is: does their goal support or conflict with the protagonist? there’s the tension those OCs can provide.

on a more basic level, just don’t give them POV, and remember they exist to push the protagonist forward, or hold the protagonist back. if the reverse happens -- the protagonist pushes the OC forward, or holds the OC back -- then you’ve made the OC a major character and now the story’s warping to suit their goals. the focus must remain on the protagonist; it’s their story, after all.

how do you write a character’s emotion so the reader feels it

use restraint. a scene’s strongest emotion lies in the gaps between what the characters are telling and what they’re showing. restraint is how you create those gaps.

avoid the impulse to ever say the character feels anger, feels joy. instead, have the character do something or say something that expresses the emotion.

also, either we acknowledge an emotion, or we don’t. the first has no conflict, kiss of death for tension. the second, though, that’s basically a fight scene: the conflict is between the character and their own emotions. the key is choosing between word and deed to show the character’s purpose (narration or dialogue vs action). whatever’s left becomes the other half of the conflict.

use scent, taste, sensation, sight, sound to project the emotion, distance it from the character. like, they can breathe fine but the air is stuffy. their hand isn’t shaking; the paper just won’t hold still. leave it to the reader to draw a line between the narrative’s tone and the character’s mental/emotional state.

second, keep the sentences relatively short. think of the jump cuts in a filmed fight scene (or sex scene) -- you don’t need to see every move. that gets boring, fast. show only enough for the reader to connect the dots; what they put in the gaps will always be far more powerful for them than anything you'll achieve when spelling it all out.

here’s the real challenge, and one of the hardest kinds of scenes to write (but so satisfying when you nail it) -- a character who acknowledges one emotion while denying the truth beneath. this is the character who’s furious but refuses to admit the hurt powering that anger. or the character who’s happy on the surface but jealous or broken-hearted beneath.

my advice: overwrite the scene, take it to eleven... and then go back and cut one line in every four of dialogue, then do the same in the narrative. keep only the strongest lines. do another pass. keep going until the scene is down to a quarter the original length, and see what you’ve got.

how do you write so well

err, okay, setting aside the discomfort of being asked that -- ‘cause I see flaws all over the place, starting with just plain overwriting, srsly, is that word count really necessary -- whatever skill I do have, I learned in one simple way.

by critiquing other writers, and getting critiques in turn.

not beta-readers -- my experience with beta readers is that they don’t really tackle the story, though they may comment on characterization. mostly I’ve only ever gotten line edits (spelling, grammar, punctuation) and... that’s not really a critique, that’s a copy editor’s work. it’s valuable, but not what I mean.

a critique analyzes the work. they mark illogical or unrealistic dialogue, note missed opportunities for rising tension, point out potential plot holes or discrepancies. a good critique is sensitive to spikes and lulls in the pacing, and at a line-level it’s often attuned to repetition or ambiguity in word choice, muddy metaphors, even the ‘sound’ of the prose.

for every critique you do, you’re training your inner editor. I don’t catch everything (certainly never on the first pass), but having a stronger inner editor means being able to reflexively identify weaknesses. plus, exposure to other stories teaches you ways to fix those mistakes. to the point I sometimes edit as I write ‘cause I can already see what needs fixing.

lastly

if you want to write better, read better. critique everything.

this is not criticism, this is critique. this is why I post meta about whatever I’m reading/watching. by approaching a story through that analytical lens, I can peel apart what works (for me) and what fails (for me) and study my reaction. the goal is to duplicate what works and avoid what doesn’t.

you can’t learn to build a car engine just by looking at the outside of a car, after all. you gotta get in there, get the dirt and grease up to your elbows. take it down to the bolts, understand how it got put together. the same goes for writing. never be afraid to take apart anyone’s stories to see how they work.

and then, go write.

#writing #fanfic #editing #characterization #storytelling #vld #voltron

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irenenorth · 7 years ago

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New Post has been published on Irene North

New Post has been published on http://www.irenenorth.com/writings/2018/01/how-did-you-choose-that-photo/

How did you choose that photo?

Kyle Van Newkirk taps around the dance floor showing off his skills at the Soroptimist’s “Dancing with the Stars” event at the Gering Civic Center. Of all the dancing, this is my favorite photograph from the night.

Whenever there is a big event happening and you work for a media company, you want to be the first one to have the story. So, when the Soroptimist International of Scotts Bluff County host their “Dancing with the Stars” event, you know ahead of time it’s going to be a long night.

I arrived at the Gering Civic Center just before the event began and took some crowd shots. Most of them turned out to be garbage. I got an interview from Betsy Vidlak, who helped organize the event, and wrote up my story quickly before emailing it back to our Lead Copy Editor Candice Pederson. Candice needed to have an idea of how long the story would be so she could place it on the page as she was building the paper. I didn’t proofread it. In this case, it’s okay. Candice has my back.

I left a spot for quotes from dancers. I promised Candice I would keep it to 100 words. We all know this is a difficult task for me, but I did it. I also wrote the end with the winners, with “XXX” holding the place for their names. Both tasks would be accomplished after all the dancers had performed.

Candice texted me a few minutes later.

“Aren’t there supposed to be 10 dancers?”

“One of the couples is sick and dropped out.”

“And does Van Newkirck have that extra c in his last name?”

“No c. I’m dumb.”

“Oh ok. Just checking.”

I’m still not sure if she was checking to see if I was dumb or not. Again, Candice had my back.

I texted her a few more times over the next two hours to ask if I had put this or that into the story. She’s good at dealing with my panicking. Everything I asked was already there.

I readily admit that taking photographs at the Gering Civic Center is a pain in the ass. The lighting always throws me off and when there are people dancing in a dimly lit room during a contest, you don’t have time to ask them to do it again. You’ve got to get it right the first time.

My editor, Brad Staman, was one of several Star-Herald employees who planned to attend the event. He offered to take his camera and grab a few shots just in case mine didn’t turn out. In the end, we had more than 1,500 photographs to sort through. Once I figured out the lighting, I settled in, moving around the room to get the best angle and the best photo. Sometimes, the lighting messed with a good shot and sometimes it enhanced it.

An okay picture, but not the greatest. The lighting works well enough, but you can’t see much of the lady’s face.

Brad and I looked for each other after one couple competed. We didn’t get what we thought would be the great shot and worried that no pictures of that couple were good. Fortunately, we had a few that worked.

This is not a good picture.

Once the dancers, including two who came for entertainment only, had performed, I sat down on the floor of the Civic Center and quickly typed up my notes. I emailed them to Candice. The winners still hadn’t been announced. I needed to get back to the Star-Herald and start sorting my and Brad’s photographs. But I needed to know who won. And there would be time for dancing and pictures of the community who came out to support the event. But I needed to get back to the paper.

I ripped out a sheet of paper from my reporter’s notebook and grabbed a pen. I put both in front of Brad and asked, kind of ordered, him to get the information for me. He said he would and he’d text me when he knew.

I grabbed my coat and my gear and headed out the door.

At the paper, I got to work on sorting the photographs. Candice told me the shape and size of photos she was looking for to fit into the paper.

Publisher Greg Awtry laughed when I told him that I took 1,407 photos and didn’t know how many Brad took because I hadn’t looked at them yet. He watched me sorting for a while before leaving me alone once he noticed I get freaked out when people watch me over my shoulder.

Brad texted me the information and I gave Candice my cell phone to type it into the story. I got back to work, whittling down the photos to just the best ones. I was nearly finished with the photos when Brad got back to the office.

While I had methodically gone through my photographs, I quickly jumped to the winners on Brad’s compact flash card so we could pull out his best photos and compare them to mine. Candice and Brad stood behind me as we looked at the choices.

There was room in the paper for three photographs. Brad and Candice quickly picked a photo of Julianne and Sam Bradley that I had taken. I didn’t think it was the best one I took of the couple, but whatever. I’m outvoted 2-1 and I was too tired to argue.

Then came the hard part. Mike and Julie Schaff won the Judge’s Choice and Betsy Vidlak and Marv Richard won the People’s Choice. I had a great photo of Mike and Julie, but there wasn’t enough of Julie’s face showing. That photo is in the Star-Herald’s photo gallery and below. Brad got the better photo of the couple. He had two that were good, but there were flaws all three of us saw in the photos.

Julie and Mike Schaff won the Judge’s Choice award at “Dancing with the Stars.” Although this is a good photograph, you can’t see Julie’s face and was ultimately rejected as the photo for the front page of the Star-Herald.

We discussed back and forth which one we should use. After everyone sighed enough, I switched over to the photos of Betsy and Marv. We had three choices. One of Brad’s photos was quickly discarded. He really didn’t like it. We had one taken by me and one taken by Brad left. We flipped back and forth, then back and forth between the two, picking out flaws, how to crop the photo, sighing that we should have gotten something better.

Brad hesitated a bit on Mike and Julie’s photo. I was being honest that he got the better shot of the couple. He didn’t want to overshadow all the other great photos I took. He wasn’t. Sometimes, it’s a crap shoot. There are nine couples competing. Brad will have great photos of some. I will have great photos of some. He just happened to get the best photos of the two winners.

Ten minutes later, Candice, Brad and I had the three photos for the paper picked. I wrote the file numbers down and a yellow post-it and ran back to the “morgue” to crop them, put our bylines in and write cutlines. Candice was only a few minutes away from her deadline. We ended up being late, but it was worth it.

As I finished up the photographs, I looked at the text Brad had sent me. Something was wrong between it and what Candice wrote. I quickly ran over to her desk.

“Did you write that Betsy and Marv raised $5,888 or that the entire evening was that much?” I asked.

“Uhm, let me look,” Candice replied as she opened the file. Yep, it was wrong, but now the computer program wasn’t letting her edit the file. We both cursed at the “fucking stupid machine.” It finally worked and was corrected.

I went back to my desk and attached the photos to the story file so Candice could lay them out on the page. Then, I quickly finished adding Brad’s photos to the folder for the photo gallery. There were 90 photos.

I heard Candice yell at me across the room, “You cropped this one in too much.” I gave her the post-it note with the original file numbers so she could grab the originals and crop them as she needed.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

I like the photo, but, ultimately, the purple from the dance lights sent this photo to the photo gallery instead of into the newspaper.

But I still wasn’t finished. Copy Editor Jeff Van Patten let me use his computer to sort, resize, and batch edit the gallery photos with Adobe Bridge. It’s not a hard task, but I’ve only done it twice and I had to keep asking him what to do next. The hardest part is that you usually only have to do one thing to have your name marked as the photographer on all the photos. This folder was mixed, so I carefully went through and highlighted all the ones Brad took and got his name on them. Then, I had to figure out where the setting was to invert the selection and put my name on the rest. Once that was finished, Jeff uploaded the gallery to the website.

It was well after 11 p.m. I worried about whether I got all the photos labeled right. I wanted to reread my story one more time because I was sure it was crap and I must have messed up something. Candice told me it was fine and not to worry about it. She also gave me that look that says, “Irene stop freaking out about your story.” So I let it go and headed back to my desk.

I opened the program we use to fill out our time cards and put my time in. I was about to finish an 11.5 hour day. The clock on the computer read 11:27 p.m. I saved my time. It’s the end of the two-week time period. I told Brad he could sign off on my time sheet.

Paul texted me asking if I wanted tea. It was waiting for me when I got home. Then, I realized I put my Saturday time in on Friday’s slot and forgot to fill in Friday’s time. I texted Brad. He was already on his way home. We’d sort it out on Monday.

And I don’t remember a thing I wrote for the “Dances with the Stars” story. And I’m not sure if it’s any good.

I finally got to bed 20 hours after I got up.

#dancing #photography #Soroptimist

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thirstyfortom · 7 years ago

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Control Ch. 5

Phew, I can’t believe it’s out after all the crack posts from last night, this was so hard to write… anyway, throw me in that angst pit, gurl…this story is taking a whole new turn next week!

Hope you all like this, though!

“And what are C & R’s expectations with this new project, Mr. Han?”

“Well, I found out recently that cats are almost idolized in the internet. If you look at Youtube’s most watched videos of the day, there’s always at least one with a cat. So creating a cat social media, a space when cat lovers and cats can exchange experiences, felt natural and following what’s trending along the virtual space.”

“I see. C & R has been releasing more and more cat projects each month. Is there a special reason for that?”

“No particular reason. I just like to engage the company on fulfilling and entertaining projects.”

“Alright. Now let’s move on to some more personal questions, shall we?” Ugh… we shall not! “How do you see personal relationships in a work environment?”

“I try not to be too strict, since I believe worker’s productivity is not directly correlated with their personal relationships.”

“Interesting. So you believe that’s why RFA has been doing such a great job at hosting fundraisers and parties even with the end of your engagement?” Yes, Jumin knew exactly that’s where this reporter was trying to get.

“RFA isn’t only about me or the guest’ coordinator. It’s a work with a team formed by seven members. My personal relationships or… past personal relationships don’t really influence our work here.”

“And what about C & R? I heard she’s working here as an intern for publicity?”

“Yes, the agency I’m interning at has this project when we’re assigned to work for a few weeks in a real company, with real marketing and publicity campaigns. And C & R should be praised for engaging in this kind of project that allows internships on experiencing the work market at its fullest.” Your voice can finally be heard in the business room you set for the reporter to have an exclusive with C & R’s director.

Jumin doesn’t even look at you, but he knows what you’re trying to do. He wants to believe the reason you’re changing the subject is to do your job as a PR and put C & R in the spotlight rather than some employee’s personal life. Or… maybe you’re trying to avoid being in the spotlight yourself. Either way, you two are on the same side, at least for now.

“Yes, and I would like to talk more about C & R’s projects like this partnership with universities.” He says stoically.

“We can, later on. But right now, why don’t we talk more about personal matters? What do you have to say about rumors about your sexuality rising again after the end of your engagement?”

“I’ve never heard about those rumors.” Yes… he heard. But he cared for them as much as he did before you came along. The only difference was the constant reminder of you in his life.

“Well, there are rumors about you being gay, that’s why it didn’t work.”

“That’s not true.” He doesn’t need to look back to know you took you eyes out of the notes you were writing to pay attention on him. “I…”

“Mr. Han’s sexuality isn’t relevant on C & R’s projects. But since we’re on that topic, you should know C & R is one of the pioneer companies in the country implementing LGBTQ friendly guidelines, such as expanding benefits and health insurance to same gender couples and offering paying internships for transgender people. You can find more about it in an upcoming website we’re preparing.”

“Interesting, but…”

“I think you have enough material for a great story, and your editor will probably agree with me. Tell him MC sends regards.”

“Do you know my boss?”

“He’s a pretty famous editor, isn’t he? I think everybody knows him. Still… don’t forget to send him my regards, okay?” you smile sweetly. Jumin wonders how many fake smiles like this you can give on a day. How many of them were reserved just for him? “Well, your time is up.”

“Can I just have a few more questions?”

“Can he, Mr. Han?” you ask, looking straight at him. The way you address him as Mr. Han gives him an electric shiver.

“I’m afraid not. I have some business matters to go over right now.”

The reporter nods, getting up of his chair. Jumin notices how he quickly glances at you, waiting for you to walk him to the door. Oh… another fool impressed by your true cordiality and fake sweetness. Another idiot expecting too much from a woman who can’t give nothing more than lies and persuasive smiles.

“Why do I think the last part of that interview won’t be published due to some editor’s conflict of interest?” he asks you.

“Because you think too much. You’re thinking when you should be thanking me on saving your ass and bringing C & R to the 21st century with the LGBTQ guidelines. You’re welcome.”

“Is the editor your client, MC?” he asks, getting up and watching as you gather your tablet and notebook, getting ready to head out of the room.

“The list of my clients is a confidential matter that has nothing to do with RFA and this internship. So I see no point in talking about it. Now… can we talk about my performance as a PR so I can fill out this form and send to my boss?”

“I swear I have no idea what your boss was thinking when she assigned you to intern here.” He sighs, rubbing his eyes with his index and thumb.

“Me neither. But since it can’t be helped, we should extend your little promise on acting professional and not getting in the way of my work to this internship too.”

Oh… did you really have to mention that day when you cornered him in that hallway? The images from that day pop in his head, making him feel what he could describe probably as disgust. At himself, mostly. He signs the fill out form quickly and hands to you, catching a glimpse of a soft smile, maybe a true one? How many of these were directed only to him?

“Thank you. Oh, and if you need someone to work on that website I mentioned, I know someone who can help.”

“Luciel?”

“Hum… I was thinking about someone from college, but yeah… I guess you can ask Seven if it suits you.”

“Oh, I bet he suits you much better.” Your eyes lock to him. The same look he gave you after you slapped him in the break up night.

“And by that, you mean…?”

“I saw you two in his car after we… talked during that RFA gathering. It’s none of my business who you choose to lay down with, but…”

What is he talking about? Oh… that night, yeah…

***

“Don’t worry, I mean ride as in a lift… in my car.”

“Yes, I got it. My mind is not that much in the gutter, Seven.”

“Ouch! Okay… so uhm… are you okay?” that’s controversial…

“Yes. Why?”

“Just making sure you understood my reasons on voting for you to stay, even though it was against you will.”

“It’s fine. You just reminded I need to see thing in the bigger picture. Jumin and I are… insignificant comparing to what RFA can do for people. Thank you for stopping me and my selfish actions.”

“Don’t mention it. And you and Jumin aren’t insignificant, but I’m glad you two talked.”

“Well, uhm… to be honest, we didn’t talk much, but I guess you can say we find the common ground.”

“What do you mean, you didn’t talk? You were talking before I got here and right now, weren’t you?”

“Not exactly. We, uhm… had… sex?” yeah, that moment in the bathroom doesn’t really count as sex…

“Oh… oh, okay. Are you… are you okay? I mean… were you okay with…? Did you want or…?” oh god, what is he trying to insinuate.

“Yes, Seven. I… it was very… rough, but he didn’t… force himself on me or anything.” Maybe more on the other way around?

“Good. So I won’t judge, then.”

“Thank you. I know you never do, even when you… found out about…”

“You being a domme? Yeah… won’t judge either, it’s not like I have the most regular job in this group either, right?”

“I guess… thank you, Seven. I… must say I really misjudged you when I showed up in the chat room.”

“I’m pretty sure you didn’t. But don’t worry about that, MC. I’m just trying to make sure everything is bearable for you since none of this is your fault.”

“Well, it is sort of my fault. I shouldn’t have been naïve and trusted that hacker…”

“Ah yeah, the hacker…” he looks away as he is remembering something. “Anyway, can I drive you home?”

“No, thanks. I… I have another place to be at.”

“I see. Have a good day at work, then.” He smiles as he gets inside his car.

***

“I know I don’t owe you any explanation, but I didn’t even get inside his car that night.”

“I don’t really care, MC. You said yourself that there is no pointing on talking about subjects that don’t concern your internship or RFA.” He feels like smirking as he sees your frustrated expression, he really got you right now, didn’t he? “Just make sure you don’t break another RFA member’s heart with your lies and slaps when he founds about your little ‘job’ ” Again, the air quoting…

“Okay, you need to stop doing that. It is my job, not my ‘job’, okay? I paid for my studies with that, I paid for my house with that, I was going to pay for my wedding dress with that!”

“Things I would be more than glad to pay for you.”

“Yeah, take away my financial independence and what’s next, Jumin? Controlling what I can buy? What I can wear? What I can have? Controlling me? Like you were trying to do when you… trapped me?”

“I see we’re still fighting like six months ago and can’t pass through that.”

“Yes, I guess not.”

“Fair enough. Just answer me this, please.”

“Yes?”

“Were you really planning on paying for the dress of our wedding with the filthy money you make out of hurting editors and corporate heirs?”

Unbelievable… he is unbelievable. For months you regretted and thought about what could you have done differently, that slap… the way you basically accusing him of wanting to hold you as hostage or something… right now, you regret everything you did from the beginning… like falling in love with him, in the first place.

Your phone rings, taking you aback. You clear your throat, realizing your voice as almost braking like you were about to cry. Cry for this man you’re no even sure you know anymore, so how everything he says make you feel this heavy pain?

“Seven, hi! Yeah, uhm… yes, I’m about to leave, actually. Really? Okay… I would love a ride, then. Okay, see you in ten minutes.” You gather your stuff. “The dress was the last thing I was buying with that money, I was going to retire from domming after we’d get married. See you tomorrow, Mr. Han.” and you smile as you walk out of the room.

Jumin contemplates the loneliness and silence after you leave. Yes… he was used to being lonely for most of his life, but there is a huge difference in being lonely by his own choice, and being lonely because somebody left him.

You left him. You left him that night, and you left him today, but you couldn’t just snap at him or humiliate him making him almost cum with the simple brushing of your fingers against his pants, no… you had to remark how he hurt you. How hurt you are, just as much as him.

And this was very cruel of you.

← Chapter 4 | Chapter 6 →

#mystic messenger fics #mystic messenger #jumin x mc #jumin han #angst

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