#not to the same extent bc I could never be as insane as I was over dragon age for like 3 years but. you understand

[geezmarty]

guess who started playing bg3

[missfertileandferal]

lowkey super anxious to post this but im missing you guys so much <3

i plan on a solid return soon! i just wanted to get off my chest whats been going on:

Earlier this year, I dealt with an awful situation of my kinky stuff leaking into real life. My insane coworkers found my content and as I was serving on the clock, proceeded to show my customers and all the staff. then i was fired. Im traumatized to say the least but I over came it.

Come mid summer, I planned so step back for a little bit to move apartments no more than a couple weeks. What happened was both my job (i worked with close family friends so stressful) and a really bad situation with a companion found about my kink stuff. i never expected or was prepared for the humiliation, deception, and pain that would come from my fetish journey

My last job was such a loss. I had been blessed with a cute job as a medical office assistant without any credentials (i wasnt doing anything out of my capabilities of course) it was so peaceful and perfect compared to the drama of my last gig plus working with familiar people felt just like home honestly. Then I got covid. I was out for 2 weeks, at the same time i was moving into my new place. I tried calling them back to let them know I was cleared and ready to get back to work. I received a humiliating text. I was dismissed. That turned into a crippling anxiety of them confessing to my family what I do in my past time

The following week I was met with more disappointment. Ive said this before but I dont have many people in my corner. It used to suck to admit but I stand with pride now knowing those who are around me love me 100% regardless what I do or dont do.

One of my dearest dearest friends, who I had previously communicated what I do (not to a full extent they always respected it) called me very dramatically only a week before I planned to see them (they live across the country and we ALWAYS visit each other when in our cities) It still doesnt feel real tbh, the call only last 40 seconds. I was informed that “I was going on the wrong path” and could no longer be associated with. That’s alls that happened. 8 years down the drain

I was informed by outside sources that my hometown opps had gotten hold of my content (who my ex friend still associate with but I despise bc they’ve always been obsessed with me but in a bad way) and they had confronted him about being my friend. he pussied out and cut me off. they also mass reported my last instagram account😡🤬

I had to take some time back to seriously debate if these loses were worth it. I was swallowed with so much anxiety knowing that an uncomfortable amount of people in my zip code knew what ive been up to. its already complicated being into this and while at the same time not being in a plus size body. thats another conversation tho

That debate has turned into me accepting these events as the universe weeding out people/things that no longer serve me. This has shown peoples true colors, if I am not to be associated with because of my sexual freedom, body acceptance, and undoing of fat phobia then PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE.

Im recovering ❤️‍🩹 but my heart and hedonism can’t be helped. i love being a kinky lil gut slut. its helped me grow in so many ways from acceptance to living an esoteric dreamy life. i love all the hot girls and guys that i see on my timeline. they hype me up and vise versa. i love this little corner of the internet. my fellow freaks keep me going. i’ve been so on and off online but every time i come back to the sweetest words and support. thank you guys for your patience and consideration

my anxiety is to the roof as im typing. its crazy that these privacy problems havent been within the actual community. funny. if your still reading this I love you extra. ill be streaming on ig on my comeback day!

new ig acc @missfertileandferal💘

[fatuismooches]

Helloo Smooches!!

I had an idea about mixing in two ideas - childhood friend + fragile!reader with Pantalone (let's not let Dottore steal all the spotlight)

Basically, bc of living in poverty reader is very weak and Pantalone concludes you'll be dead any day soon. But despite everything Reader keeps pushing through and he's intrigued. Not only you somehow keep living, you're so nice and try to help others around you any way you can, including Pantalone. I think after becoming friends he advices you to care more about yourself, seeing your frail condition

At one point your condition becomes worse and you need medicine which is already expensive, but for you? You can only get it if you work 24/7, but you physically can't. However, miraculously, you get that medicine. After some time you learn that it was Pantalone who worked all day and night for you and reader can't thank him enough. You may learn he didn't eat for a few days and worked in ungodly conditions just to save you. Reader feels very guilty about all of this, but Pantalone reassures them that it's better than you dying. And it's so strange, even for Panta himself. Like, there are tons of kids who are in the same condition as you or even worse, then why he's so keen to save you?

The rest is history. You two become inseparable, helping each other get through life (no one of you mentions it, but Pantalone works harder and more than you, due to your illness).

When he becomes the Regrator, you're still together. But now he can properly take care of both of you, since you were damaged pretty badly by your childhood. But if Pantalone's immune system got very strong and he only really has bad eyesight, then you... It's not a pretty scene, but he can keep you in stable state thanks to all the expensive doctors, medicine and anything you need for your comfort. I also feel both of you get flashbacks and nightmares about past, so both of you are here to comfort each other

However, if you did die before seeing Regrator in all his glory... He's devastated. He makes sure your grave stays in top-notch condition. Pantalone is grateful for the time you were with him, when Reader became a little ray on sunshine in his dark life, but won't deny he wants you back. However, even endless wealth can't bring reader back. But at least now Pantalone knows for sure he won't lose anything close to him due to lack of mora ever again

-🥀, who went insane

DOTTORE STEALING THE SPOTLIGHT IS SOOO TRUE IM SO SORRY 😭😭💀 and UGHHH THIS IS FEEDING MY PANTALONE BRAINROT SO GOOD, 🥀 ANON ILY ❤️❤️❤️

Pantalone just not caring about you in the beginning is unfortunately true at first 😭 He is well aware that it is a dog-eat-dog world out there, especially in the environment where you two are. Everyone is out for themselves, no one will look out for each other lest they get stabbed in the back eventually. The young boy has seen more death and suffering than a child of his age should, and he thinks that soon, you will become one of them... but you don't. And despite your ailing condition you still find it in you to help others and the younger kids... he thinks you are simultaneously the strangest, kindest, and dumbest person he's ever met. How could you be so kind in a world like this? You've surely seen the same things he has... you should be putting yourself first, you're squandering what life and health you have left on random people!

He just doesn't understand... he doesn't seek to figure you out first, but you are the only kid his age around these parts, and you do always try to hang around him... so he relents. He becomes your friend. And he... comes to like you. To care for you. The boy has never felt that to someone else before. It makes him act different around you. To go to certain extents he would never dream of doing for anyone but himself. To get little trinkets for you, that really aren't worth anything at all, but he likes how they make you smile. To share bits of his meager rations with you, to which you always giggle and ask if you could feed him. It's strange, even stranger when he goes beyond that. Did your medicine deal a significant blow to his savings? Yes. Did he care? No. Seeing you smiling seemed to satisfy some hole in his chest that has been empty since birth. Pantalone can't help but want you to stay by his side. And you do too.

Ugh yes he would treat you higher than royalty like you deserve after how much you suffered with him for all of those years. I imagine he would be so overprotective and concerned for you, if you had even the most minor health scare he would be more worried than YOU. Regardless you bet he will fulfill every single wish you had since childhood, nothing is off the table, Pantalone WILL make it happy. Yup I imagine Pantalone sometimes has nightmares about losing everything he built his way up to and going back to the poor boy alone on the streets... and you have your own trauma from your condition so just :( lots of nighttime cuddles and soft back rubs

🥀 ANON YOU JUST HAD TO END IT WITH ANGST... To say he would be crushed is an understatement. Part of his motivation and reason to ascend to the top was to be able to give you the life you deserve - a comforting, peaceful, and rich one. But you were gone... he was so, so close to saving you. He still loves you so much. And although he has the Mora to never lose anything close to him again... will there really be anything like that for him ever again after he lost you?

[superpowered-dirt]

i never post on here but i have so much in my head about twd: the ones who live i honestly feel like i might explode.

i know all anyone really wants to talk about from episode 2 is That Part of their reunion (which is fair, don't ask me how many times I rewatched it), but now, the part that keeps playing over and over again in my head is this tiny bit:

and i just need to say, danai and andy are so insanely talented bc this clip?? this clip—short as it is, with not a world of dialogue—says SO much about where our two characters are at.

first, rick. i watch this clip and i think holy shit, yeah, that is a broken man. andy does a masterful job at displaying through his eyes and the way he carries himself the extent of the psychological damage and anguish within rick, not to mention the guilt he carries. you can see the gears turning in his head as he reminds himself how he basically gave up on her. how he gave up on himself. how he told himself that he was done, he was never seeing her again, and let himself fold into the CRM. i think it's safe to say he hates himself for his choice to move on. he's utterly crushed by it. like look at him, he can't even meet her eyes!!

and michonne? she sees it. once the euphoria of I Found You has begun to wear off and she lets herself really take him in, she immediately clocks that this is not the same rick that "died" on the bridge. not the rick that led alexandria. not the rick that got them out of terminus. and definitely not the rick that stood up to the saviors. in fact, the last time she saw this version of him, it was right after the first time they ever lost to negan, and that horrifies her, because if that rick is back, then something truly terrible has happened. the look on her face in the clip says a million things, but most loudly, she's wondering, understandably and devastatingly, "my love, what have they done to you?"

the final clue for her that her rick is gone, at least for now, is their next interaction. since forever, both of their instincts anytime they've been told that something bad is coming their way have been to either hoof it for the safety of their family or stand back to back and dispatch the threat. it's the panic in his voice, the sheer desperation as he pleads with her to stand down instead and hide herself after she suggests they go that tells her she has no idea what he's been through or what she's in for now that she's in the shit with him. and even now, if the trailer for E03 has been any indication, she still fails to grasp the danger they're both in. i know what people online have been saying, but she's not being careless, this is michonne we're talking about, she just doesn't understand how careful she really has to be. and then throw jadis and her bitch ass bowl cut into the mix and suddenly a whole new threat looms over alexandria and the commonwealth that ultimately all comes back on rick too? the guilt he now has to face for not only dragging his wife into his mess, but through jadis, also his daughter and all his friends?? and if he finds out now that he has a son too, then there's even more guilt??????

i could go on for hours but i won't. all i'll say is that we're definitely in for such an emotional ride tomorrow. and really there's no one else i trust more than andy and danai to deliver that for us.

[eddiegettingshot]

Unless there is some huge shift in the way their story is told on screen in s8 I would be shocked if tommy isnt bones by midseason. My personal hope is they have some sort of job related disagreement during the season opening disaster and we get it done quick ana style but part of me thinks its more likely they’ll have some sort of arc leading to a break up because I think theyve established tommy and bucktommy just enough that off screen bones wont really work but also they have not developed bucktommy enough for them to have an actual reason to break up like we can read the subtext but buck is not thinking “he didnt come in costume to my costume party… we have to break up” bc no real person would think that 😭

yeah like ok we can only have this discussion so many times so i don't want to totally open up the can of worms BUT like. to an extent if you want to wave off the complete lack of development and screen time as "they're taking it slow and getting to know each other" (which is like... something you can actually SHOW. on screen! taking it slow doesn't mean we never see them interacting 😭) that's... fine. but the way i see it, buck is a main, his sexuality arc is major, and his romantic life has been at the forefront of his character from day one. if we're talking about an endgame for him, that endgame should not have shown up in 7x03 and remained virtually insignificant by 7x10. at this point you could stick another guy in tommy's place and pretty much nothing would change; his presence as a character has very little bearing on the plot after the cruise arc, or on buck specifically (buck could be kissing literally any guy and nothing would be different, but it's not like the same could be said had he been kissing someone other than taylor).

so when i say it feels like he's getting one step above the marisol treatment, i really mean it. like, all the way up until 7x07 people were willing to believe she and eddie would stay together, even though with each passing episode we were waiting for her to show any kind of independent motivation or development and got nothing. waiting 8 episodes post-introduction and for a new season to start really developing a relationship would be absolutely INSANE and like next-level bad writing, and as much as i hate what tim did in s7 i do think he gives more of a shit about buck than that lol. anyway point is that i think the options are (1) they break up and it's just a blip like tommy gets a job somewhere and buck's like oh damn that sucks. this was fun (2) they break up and it's about eddie (3) they break up and it's about the job/gerrard (4) they break up because one of them fucks up. i also suspect that the breakup arc will be the only arc they get and much like with eddisol their relationship will just kind of exist in the background until it comes time for it to be over lol (unless tommy needs to be a mouthpiece for something).

but also i could be wrong and they could elope i guess 🤷🏾‍♀️ i just kinda think tim is better than this lol and i also think he IS telling the story he wants to tell judging by the amount of screen time buck had with Some Other Guy in s7. so i don't think anyone needs to be worried lol

[glassheartstonesoul]

opinion dump on saltburn and the public response to it bcs my opinions r the most valid and superior

this is mainly geared towards the response on tiktok, saying u were undisturbed by the bathtub scene or grave scene doesn’t make u superior or cooler it actually doesn’t mean shit yall r giving “im so mysterious and misunderstood” energy it’s actually embarrassing tbh this has the same energy as thinking ur mental illness is a personality trait and inherently makes u cooler and more interesting than the average person REALITY CHECK it doesn’t

the period sex scene being placed in the same category of “disturbing-ness” on social media as the grave and bathtub scene just goes to show how much society hates women and their bodies the period stigma is crazy it’s for sure a personal preference no hate if u think eating someone out when they’re on their period is weird or maybe unhygienic but to compare it to borderline necrophilia and whatever vile pathetic shit the bathtub scene was is just pure misogyny I said what I mf said

I love emerald fennel and i’m so dissapointed in her I thought this movie would’ve been better I feel like she had everything going for her the plot was incredible the aesthetics were so cool the cast was astounding and yet…

ok elaboration on my last point basically the film lacked any intelligence or nuance plot wise and storytelling wise don’t get me wrong the film is full of insane references and deep sociopolitical metaphors however the ending was shit the idea that this was oliver’s plan all along has the same energy as when ur in 2nd grade and u end ur creative writing piece with “and it was all a dream” and so many fucking things don’t fit in with the ending like they never explain to what extent was this his plan like did he intend to kill them ? pick them off one by one ? wait years till he could get to elspeth ? and why are his issues with his family never explained why is he the way he is what made him so obsessive what made him a pathological liar ????? there r just too many loose ends and unfortunately not in a “open ending audience interpretation” way but in a bad writing kinda way :/

THE FASHION !!! why was it so mid I was superrrrr excited to see a film set in 06/07 but the fashion was majorly lacking elspeth is mother her costumes ate of course but the rest of the cast and extras were so mid there were a few exceptions here and there but there’s so much to explore in terms of fashion in this time period yet the costumes weren’t great venetia’s outfits hurt my soul she could’ve been such a cool character think indie sleaze vibes (ik this wasn’t a thing back then but something similar rather than the glittery bullshit she’d have on) farleigh also could’ve served cunt but was painfully lukewarm

the movie left SO MUCH to be desired it actually hurts if only they could’ve leaned into the campy vibes upped the ante on the fashion and had much better writing </3

[nosenipped]

respond to the following prompts out of character, then tag others you'd like to get to know a little bit better.

roleplayer name: lucien!

pronouns: deez / nuts. ( he / they. )

muse name(s): jackson overland frost. :3 his name is so fucking english i literally can't type this without giggling. he's got a korean name too, but im not revealing it because of plot.

preferred communication: discord or DMs. i'm still getting used to the mechanics on tumblr rn so. 😭😭 but there r some features in tumblr's DMs that kinda tick me off, so discord's the home place for communications for me. i run a shit ton of accounts on different platforms too, so if i don't reply it's bc im out of energy or im busy with work. 💔

experience: started in pokémon. got traumatized. went to animerp. also got traumatized. the cycle repeats for about 6 years.

preferred roleplay type: dependent on the day! i've always preferred writing something fluffy as opposed to angsty, ( but the lines are very thin for this muse ) only because jack's already a VERY angsty character and as a whole and i feel if i kept writing angst i'd run out of material quickly.

pet peeves / dealbreakers: forced shipping &&. self—inserts that seem too inserted, eg. forcing themselves onto my muses. ( i realize it's essentially the same thing but trust there's a difference. ) i've only ever shipped muses after messages of development and if i see potential. it's also a matter of personal comfort.

i've had past experiences where people took it too far with their muses and got personally affected by their relationship which is INSANELY unhealthy.

another one is just ship jealousy? i've personally NEVER experienced it as the receiver before, i hope i never do anyway, but we're all friends and grown—ups here im sure we could just write without any hidden agendas. i've had people close to me suffer from this before and it's incredibly sad &&. pathetic, y'all don't do that pls.

best time to write: evening or like. really early in the morning LMAOOO. i'm a night owl most of the times so if im not getting to anything in the morning or afternoon, it's mostly all churned out at night. ( but ofc that doesn't mean i'm not active during the morning or afternoon. )

are you like your muse?: to a large extent, definitely. i wouldn't go as far as to call us twins tho? even if some people do, there's just some things that we see differently.

for starters, unlike this loser, i can swim. /silly i got medals to back my claim.

i'm definitely not as dense to love as this dude is, and i'm able to differentiate platonic and romantic ties. this SUCKS so bad knowing he's also a womanizer in the last books .. i need his ass GONE.

in terms of similarities, i truly see him as something of a vessel to articulate my grief and anger as well as nostalgia through my boyo. :3 and since i've practically rewritten his ass to incorporate book and movie and mythology lore ( it gave me a MIGRAINE during my work i swear ;; the amt of effort i place into him needs to go widespread to my course. ) parts of me are also within to fill the plot holes. <3

i offer my jack frost to write with you all with my heart and soul on the line, so it really means a whole lot to me whenever people love him.

i got tagged by @lcafman ! WAAAHHH ELLIE ILYSM /p ONE OF MY POOKIES AND A GENUINELY GREAT PERSON TO GET TO KNOW. <33

＊ tagging ... @nerdynanny ， @toothcollct ， @saheira ， @seachant ， @fatedarrows ， @chieftain-of-berk ， @pcterpan ， @wishfulmuses ♡ feel free to participate if you'd like!! ( ^ω^ )

[ice-sculptures]

Okay well I’ve already forced u to look at most of my pets so I’m kinda just gonna copy u…what r ur favorite buck and/or eddie quotes?? I can NEVER think of any when I’m making graphics and u remember the show so much better than I do LOLL

OHHHHH MY GOD THERE'S SO MANY

some off the top of my head:

"two cut lines" - like. okay. i still maintain that the rest of the firefam doesn't actually know how close buck & eddie are and definitely do not fully realize the extent of buck's role in the diazes' life, but one thing that the rest of them Do know is that buck would rather die than leave eddie behind and i love tht these three simple words encapsulate the strength of that undying devotion

"and that started with you. whatever happens to him next, you gave him that second chance. maybe that's the point." i will never ever ever ever ever ever be over this scene and how buck found the exact words to bring eddie back from the brink and show him that what he does matters, that there's still hope, that there are things worth living for and that he made a difference in someone's life. and i think that this right here is more than romance more than love this is just. soulmatism right here. i mean....to be seen to be found isn't that what we're all searching for?

AND ON THAT NOTE. BUCK. THERE'S NOBODY IN THIS WORLD THAT I TRUST WITH MY SON MORE THAN YOU. makes me fucking INSANE because what do you mean eddie forgave him instantly?? in any other show with any other pairing this would be a season long arc with the two of them tentatively reconciling at the very end of it all. anybody else would be (understandably, i might add) nervous to leave christopher with buck after what happened, but eddie forgave buck immediately. eddie, who adores chris with all of his heart and soul, who loves that boy more than anything else in this world, saw not that buck wasn't able to hold onto chris, but that he loved him enough to try. he didn't hold it against him for chris getting swept away, he only focused on the buck that spent all day bloody and bruised, searching for his heart. but more than anything, i think he saw all of that love and heartbreak and guilt and the self doubt that matches his own reflected in buck and decided to give his best, truest friend the chance that was never given to him 🥺😭

"comes in handy when you have a bunch of holes in the wall" i can't explain why i love this bit of casual reassurance so much but i just. i think it's so simple and so sweet and a testament to how they make each other feel so loved so easily :(

i don't remember the exact quote right now but do you remember that scene where eddie and hen are gossiping about hen's mom and eddie says that his abuela would love the tea bc she loves telenovelas and buck beams at him w the fondest grin ever and teases eddie about loving telenovelas too? i know they're soulmates and in love and all of that shit but they're also Best Friends and i love all these little reminders of how well they know each other and how much they genuinely like each other. also this being in the same episode as buck's look of complete confusion when his long term gf tells him she loves him was a Choice™️

"just gonna be you and me" from the LS crossover episode for no reason other than it was cute & i love buck's subsequent jealousy

"guess all that company must've wore you out" bc of the obvious Implications that maddie tried to rope eddie into her plan of sending buck visitors to cheer him up and eddie straight up said no because he knew that wasn't going to help. yet another one of the million examples of these two knowing exactly what the other person needs & also Being exactly what the other person needs

"three minutes and seventeen seconds" because what do you MEAN he knows the exact amount of time buck was dead for. what do you mean he counted the seconds that he lived in this world without his best friend, praying and begging that he could outrun the clock and he wouldn't reach the time that would make it permanent. what do you mean he memorized the amount of time and then he threw out that line so casually because he couldn't stand the way they were talking about buck's death as something fascinating instead of as the worst three minutes and seventeen seconds of eddie's life...

the one-two punch that is "you don't need to pretend with me" and "you don't have to be anything for anybody" because both of them have spent so much of their lives not feeling good enough and not truly living for themselves...and yet around each other they've never had to do that and are free to be nothing but themselves and still be loved not despite it, but for it.

and finally last but not least....the very thesis of their relationship: "you can have my back any day" / "yeah. or, you know, you could… you could have mine" because it's stayed true ever since the first day they met and will remain true for the rest of their lives. also i'll never stop thinking about how 911 straight up said "isn't that what we all want in a partner? knowing that they have your back?" in the season five finale and have shown time and again that buck and eddie have tried to accomplish this in their previous relationships but have only ever been able to have a full and true partnership with each other...yeah that shit will Haunt me forever

this is probably incomprehensible but my mind is running at a million miles an hour right now so i am not going to go back and edit it

[utopians]

I mean s1 was deffo better than s2 but why do you say that it wasn't good? /gen

mannn honestly it would take ages to enumerate all my problems with it but these are the main ones

just a massive, massive tone problem. this show just has no clue what it wants to be and it's bad as hell as a result. the wilderness scenes in this season had some of the darkest stuff of anything in the show (eating jackie + shauna miscarriage + shauna beating lottie) and having all that next to like... misty's quirky reddit boyfriend just absolutely defanged it. the show doesn't want to commit to being either a quirky mystery/comedy or a gritty survival horror and because of that it fails to effectively be anything at all

misty's reddit boyfriend in general just sucked so bad. like what was that

the escalation from 'we're hungry' to 'let's draw cards and murder whoever gets the wrong one' occurred over the span of ONE EPISODE. one SINGLE episode without ANY NEGOTIATION. literally not one single scene of the characters even TALKING about it before it happened. what a joke. what an absolute joke. they had an entire season to build to it how'd they fuck it up this bad

this is a problem I had with the first season as well but the survival threat feels so told and not shown. like we're told all these characters are Soooo Hungry but none of them are ever actually like. fatigued. or ill. or Dying. like how the fuck is coach ben still alive man. it just makes the escalation to killing people that much more abrupt and the whole situation seem so contrived when it doesn't actually feel like they're in danger

just in general the show like. refuses to let any of its characters feel anything at all. shauna straight up killed an innocent man that she was having an affair with last season and the extent of the emotional fallout of that act is her making quirky Oh Whoopsie comments about it. like that would be an insane traumatic thing to go through and you'd think it would be the kind of thing the show would want to explore. but no. not on amc's yellowjackets

on that same topic. shauna beating lottie had weirdly little emotional fallout. like ik they didn't like each other but shauna almost beat lottie to death with her hands and seemed just like. kind of sad and apologetic afterwards. like you'd think that such an act would have some sort of extreme ramifications for her relationship with the group and her own emotional state but nah

in the same vein: this season did adult taissa SO dirty. all the little plot threads that made her story difficult and compelling last season have completely been dropped -- her wife and son were literally written out like 4 episodes in and we don't see any of the emotional complexity of her leaving behind those relationships. additionally the last season ended with her being elected senator (sth that could cause a lot of conflict and drama bc of the increased responsibility on her shoulders + surveillance and scrutiny of her life) and it literally just. never comes up again? like her wife is in a coma and her son is just left fully parentless and she walks away from her job as a US STATE SENATOR and not only are there no consequences she also just literally does not seem to care. I feel like the writers just had no clue what they wanted to do with her and so they just gave her... nothing. no conflict no emotions just nothinggggg

okay they did give her one thing. they gave her an evil alter ego. which is mad corny imo. last season it was weird and ambiguous enough that I enjoyed it but this season it was just so literal and on the nose and I did not enjoy it One Bit

similar to the cards thing lottie deciding that they needed to kill one of them at the end was so damn abrupt and stupid. like literally so pointless and out of nowhere

natalie's death was so silly and contrived that it actually made me laugh

adult van is not butch enough ‼️‼️‼️‼️

[carniferous]

not to start a debate and then turn it into jl vs jeg beef god knows some people need to chill

but also uhm

jeg requires james’ character bending to some extent and more bc canon james was white straight rich man who was very much happy about it and took advantages of his privileges, same can’t be said about reg (yeah he also was privileged. insanely) bc he overall has three sentences about him? he could be a lil weirdo who stalked his brother and his friends, a serial killer with impressive kill count, or just a guy who was just there or everything at once. and i think it’s okay to admit, jeg existence is based on liking green and red together or salt chips with honey, you know, personal preference and imagination and the will to chew glass daily bc they’re too damn tragic.

however jl is bend too. i read them mostly with wolfstar and they’re both usually toned down in order to work. it’s jkr fault, she never wrote them falling in love and she straight up forgot to give james positive traits and describe his maturity process, like he was a massive dick and then he changed completely in a year and lily easily overcame her dislike and boom, they had a baby. in the middle of the war, while fighting and wizards didn’t know what abortion was, obviously. so i completely understand why james is often written a bit differently, in more positive light and with reasons to be an asshole and why lily’s dislike for james is erased and her character isn’t as intense as she is in canon.

bending characters shouldn’t be a crime, especially hp characters 🧍🏼‍♀️

yeah slay idk what you mean by bending of characters the james and regulus that exist in my mind are actually perfectly crafted characters whose every action i can trace back to some piece of punctuation in canon that validates my interpretation

[lorillee]

alright well i finished ch 12 so while im waiting for my water to boil ill fill everybody in on the current thoughts feelings opinions

Can we kill sagawa. PLEASEEEEE If this man doesnt die by the end of the game we have done something deeply and unfathomably wrong.

anyways so im fascinated at the reveal of tachibana as the owner of the bat tattoo and honestly Well i cant say i trust it. just because its very much like well frankly a bit of a shock reveal when it happens with no real justification. Like there was legitimately no reason to show this to the viewers at that point in the story so im smelling some sort of a fakeout here is basically what im getting at

like one could argue that they decided to reveal it there because we’ve spent the past bit trying to establish tachibana as a guy we can count on to some extent and then immediately after reminding the viewer “Hey we are dealing with organized crime LOL these people are actually deplorable and dont u forget it” keeps everybody on their toes or whatever but i still feel like they couldve chosen a more shocking or relevant moment. Hence my fakeout theory which i will honestly be a bit disappointed in if true because it just seems a little cheap

anyways so currently im thinking that like as part of his little mafia squad they all got the same tattoo or somethjng and so its actually a different guy with the bat tattoo. wait omg could you imagine if it was oda LOL

Ok if it was oda i would forgive the fakeout. Because i never really liked that dude to begin with

insanely funny how happy people are to volunteer incredibly sensitive information to majima when this has basically no benefit to them and in fact will probably come back to bite them in the ass. Its just his charming babygirl vibes

the ending for the Everybody Wants To Kill Kiryu subplot was a bit anticlimactic for all the drama we went through so jury is still out on how i feel about this because its like obviously important for the whole tojo family infighting but at the moment im not sure if i felt like this entire thing was really worth taking up like 2 slash 3 whole chapters for. but who knows bc we havent seen this story to its end yet

unsure about how i feel about the direction they r possibly taking majima and mikotos relationship in. if they choose to play this as a “what could have been if things were different” doomed potential romance u know i eat that stuff up But the point of issue here is potential. bc my immersion is going to be going to be struggling if they seriously try to argue me into believing that they r totally In Love despite the fact that they barely know each other at this point. so We Shall See

CAN WE KILL SAGAWA PRETTY PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEE

[veilchenjaeger]

Okay. After over a goddamn year, I have finally finished Couple of Mirrors. Consider me wrecked.

I don't even know where to start with this show? It's everything I've ever wanted, save for the censorship issue. (But I think I can read the manhua to soothe that particular ache.) It's so damn good. I watched this with month-long breaks between episodes, so I don't remember everything, but I still want to try to write up my initial thoughts bc it's fun to reread that kind of thing after a rewatch or some time of brainrot.

First, without getting into spoilers: I adore this show. The plot is incredible - dense without being overwhelming, unpredictable without nonsensical plot twists. Nearly every episode had me on the edge of my metaphorical seat. At the same time, the characters were given time to shine and develop. Especially Xu Youyi is just one of the characters of all time, I'm obsessed with her, but I definitely got attached to side characters as well. (Which is dangerous, considering the body count this show has.) I really appreciate the pacing, the little moments of downtime between the imo impeccably paced rush of revelations and developments. There are some things that could be seen as... soap opera-esque, in a way? Just because of the amount of family drama, but I think it all worked really well bc the show immediately tells you what kind of show it is and what the stakes are. None of the drama is out of place, is what I'm saying. There's a lot of murder.

There are complaints about Xu Youyi and Yan Wei not having a lot of screentime together, and while this is in some way true, I... didn't mind? They're both set up well enough as individual characters for their interactions to be meaninful, and it was more than enough for me to get invested in them. (Not to mention that there's a whole episode of domestic Yiwei in the end.) But mostly, and I think I've said this before somewhere, I came for the lesbians and stayed for the plot. Xu Youyi's story is about so many things, and it's important that each of these things was given the space it deserves. This is a murder mystery/thriller first and a romance second, and I honestly prefer it that way. The pacing felt right, and the central relationship still came across well.

Final non-spoilery verdict: PLEASE watch this show if you haven't seen it yet. It's so, so, so good. You can watch the whole thing on Youtube for free, and the subtitles are actually decent.

Spoilers under the cut.

There are approximately fifty separate things I'm obsessed with, but I'll only name a few.

First of all, the whole Thing between Zhou Heng and Xu Youyi, and especially Zhou Heng's character. Holy shit, this is well done. Zhou Heng is never portrayed as the good guy, but the sheer extent of his unhingedness is revealed so gradually that you're pretty much bound to underestimate him. He starts out as a bad husband who cheats on Xu Youyi, but for what it's worth, it seems like he does love her and wants to try to be better for the first episodes. He defends her from his family, he supports her, and while Xu Youyi is right not to let him get away with that after he broke her heart like that, he's sympathetic. He's not a cartoon villain or a cardboard cutout of an evil abusive husband. And he still isn't that when it's revealed that he fucking tried to kill her. That caught me off guard so hard! I didn't expect that at all, and then it just fucking kept going. It's in episode 10, during the dinner he has with Xu Youyi, that I realised that he's not only an utter dickhead, he's batshit insane. And it's the very fact that he was built up as a sympathetic character that makes this reveal as creepy as it is. Gods, what an asshole! Gives me chills of the worst kind! A superbly done antagonist.

(The same is true for Zhang Wan, too. She's a lot more obviously mean, but the extent of that isn't revealed all at once, and the relationship she had with Xu Youyi before is still meaningful. Zhou Heng's father, too - he acts according to his motivations, and whether he's with Xu Youyi or against her depends on the way she fits into his plans. Just, good antagonists all around.)

Second of all, I adore the characters so, so much?! Xu Youyi's development, her sunny personality, her heartbreak, and the way she gets more and more tired of being nice, are so [chef's kiss]. Detective Jiang was right, actually - she is someone who'd happily live with a murderer. She's so genuinely kind, she doesn't mean harm, but after everything she's been put through, she's ruthless deep down. I love how cold and collected she is when she demands the divorce, when she signs the papers, when she's in court, and especially when she finds out that Yan Wei is indeed the murderer of Zhang Wan and doesn't even hesitate to lie to the police to help her. Xu Youyi has had it and she will not be taking any prisoners.

It took me a little longer to get fully attached to Yan Wei, simply because she's not the main character, but the last episode really sealed the deal for me. She's grown so much because of Xu Youyi! She's started to live a life that isn't ruled by her past, she's capable of joking with Xu Youyi and she's a good mother and she's happy, which she didn't know how to be before! She even gets along with other people; she's on good terms with Mr Wang and has a bit of a teasing relationship going on with Detective Jiang. (Big fan of that, btw. I think they should be bros.) And yet, she's also presumably doing some very shady stuff to get money, and we haven't seen her find actual closure yet. I get why the last few minutes aren't the most popular ones - they're a bit of a shock, for one, and the pacing of the show fails here, although I assume that's all a set up for the next season - but they make sense. Again, Detective Jiang is right! Xu Youyi doesn't know anything about Yan Wei's past, and it's a past that's pretty important for who Yan Wei is! That's the one thing I was worried about throughout the show: that Yan Wei's past would just stay unaddressed, and that Xu Youyi wouldn't find out. So, yeah, I do like that they made that into a (future?) plot point. It's such a strong beat for Yan Wei's arc, I really hope we do get that second season and get to find out what she's been doing behind Xu Youyi's back and what those flowers mean. Yan Wei deserves some more development!

(That being said, I still think that season finale cliffhangers are bad writing and shouldn't be done, especially with the state of queer entertainment in China being what it currently is. Looking at you, Scum Villain season 2.)

And last but not least, I'll be listening to the opening song on repeat for the next lifetime, thanks.

[elfdyke]

Your post about how relevant the companions are to the story peaked my interest. I've gone through this game about 4 times and can confidently say that only shadowheart and laezel have any story relevance. Everyone else could be taken out and the game would be the same. Spoilers if you haven't beaten it. --- wyll is only kinda important because of his father who is a big lore character in the dnd universe. Duke raven guard is pretty well known from the whole accent into avernus campaign. Karlach my sweet girl literally doesn't have anything and is in fact LACKING -coughunfinishedstorycough-. Gale you get to meet cool people like elminster and mystra but otherwise... could stay in that broken portal and miss nothing. And astarion just has a cool longish side quest about a vampire master. Companions in games don't always need main story relevance but its crazy that the most popular is the twink vampire man.

i mean id say all the other companions are definitely tied to the story, not the the extent that shadowheart and lae’zel are (i genuinely think the game would be a pretty unplayable without them?? for your first run i mean) but like theyre definitely relevant to major characters and events! karlach being tied to wyll, gortash, mizora, zariel, your interactions with raphael are all very important for the story imo. its not the skeleton of the game for sure but i think theres a lot less content without them whereas compared to astarion its really just not the case. AND I LIKE ASTARION. TO BE CLEAR. i think what he adds to the game is interesting and compelling, but i . i literally never used him in my first playthrough (rogue moments) and while replaying in all my other games i need him to be the lockpicker, and the game is so.. the same </3 especially if you arent romancing him.

i wish i was more surprised that hes sweeping in the fandom but its soooo typical that the tragic white boy character is The adored one. even to the point of ignoring his actual character being sex repulsed + horribly sexually traumatized, bc ohhh hes so sexy . idk , insane to me

[miss-tc-nova]

hii it's been a while!

I'm having Thoughts again

do you ever think about how Leona and Kalim are like. polar opposites

There's the obvious stuff, of course. The way Kalim's hair is like white and Leona's is a dark brown. The fact that Kalim's the eldest son and Leona is secondborn. The way Kalim is oblivious to how he hurts people but Leona does everything with purpose on purpose. The way Kalim kinda just refuses to see Jamil as he is while Leona calls him out on his bullshit straight away. The way one look at Kalim and you know that guy's rich thanks to the gold dripping off him (I mean tbf the Scarabia uniform is very ornamental while the Savanaclaw one just isn't) but with Leona it's just. he could be any bad tempered sleepy guy idk he just doesn't give off very "princely vibes" imo. The way Kalim's an overexcited five year old in the body of a seventeen year old, while Leona's a grumpy bitter sixty-five year old in a 20 year old body.

And then there's their unique magic/signature spell. Kalim's summons rain. A lot of it. Azul is over the moon with how "profitable" it is if I remember correctly (my brain may be making this up idk I had to write an essay today it's dying)

And Leona's turns anything he touches into sand. Anything. Even living beings.

It's just such a difference you know nobody has to worry about droughts with Kalim around. With Leona? He might just turn you into a heap of dry sand if he's in a bad enough mood

I'm losing my mind I just think it's insane. And maybe this is just fuel for my leojami agenda bc honestly I feel like Jamil resents Kalim quite a bit to an extent and with Leona some part of him just went yes agdgdhdh

Sorry for the long ask! Again no pressure to respond and I hope you had/have a great day!

B-byee!

Heya! Yeah, it has been a while. I've been on a bit of hiatus, but I still enjoy seeing things like this.

I think I have to agree that these two are very opposite. I don't think it's exaggerating to say that Leona really hates Kalim, which is a shame because it really isn't Kalim's fault. But Leona would never admit that he's jealous. Kalim has everything he wants: the throne, his people's admiration...Jamil if were pushing that agenda. His life could've been drastically different and maybe he could have been the happy one if he had those things.

And I touched a bit on this in The Lives We Want, but I don't think Jamil's resentment of Kalim really has to do with Kalim. It's just that Kalim has to be part of it because of the position Jamil was born into. It could've been Leona and Jamil would probably still feel the same way. Can you imagine how much darker Jamil would be if Kalim were cruel? Regardless of who his master is, Jamil is trapped.

While I can't argue that Kalim refuses to see the dark side of Jamil, I want to lean more towards he wants to see the good in everyone--to the point that yes, it can blind him. Kalim has endured multiple murder attempts and it's because of his status that he almost lost Jamil. It would be easy for him to become like Leona, suspicious and despising everyone. But he instead uses his stature to give people the benefit of the doubt and tries to bring everyone even a bit of happiness.

So yeah, it definitely feels like a 2 vs 1 sort of situation. But because of reasons beyond any of their control, it was inevitable. Even if it weren't them, it would be someone else. They were all cursed from the beginning.

Anyway, I don't mind hearing other people's theories and stuff like this. It's fun exploring the deeper meanings and inner conflicts of characters. I loves me some angst.

[bthump]

Hi there, I just wanted to say your analyses are really thoughtful and eye opening, and I think they’re quite rare in this fandom, bc most berserk enjoyers I’ve encountered don’t really tend to look at it with the same angle you do. Do you maybe know of any youtubers that have similar outlooks on the story?

Anyways most of the viewpoints I see there and on other platforms either deny the homoeroticism between guts and griffith/deny it’s mutual or say it’s one sided, + push gutsca as the endgame and approve of Casca’s eclipse/ post eclipse treatment. If they do defend and genuinely like Griffith a lot of them do it in a pretty misogynistic way (“casca enjoyed it” or doing this weird ass shit where they try to use Casca as a moral centre between guts and griff or something, idk if I’m explaining that well lol). Like a lot of them will get so close to *getting* it, for example they will talk about a scene where pot Casca is clearly traumatised/ disturbed by Guts’ presence, or see a scene where pot Casca is neutral/ comfortable around neo Griffith and instead of thinking about it like “hmm, she isn’t really getting/ never really got a chance to do anything for or by herself around these dudes or develop outside them” they will be like “SEE POT CASCA IS SCARED OF GUTS AND DOESN’T WANT TO BE WITH HIM THAT PROVES SHE DOESN’T DESERVE GUTS/DEEP DOWN IS STLL IN LOVE WITH GRIFFITH AND WILL BETRAY GUTS, SHES FOR THE STREETS/ CASCA PREFERS GRIFFITH GRIFFITH IS GOOD”or they will do this insane thing where they say that guts is a “simp” for doing so much for casca and that casca doesn’t deserve him. And that Casca owes him big time when she does gain her mind back and that if she leaves him after she’s healed then she’s an ungrateful **** and all that unpleasant stuff. Which is just as r**ey in its own right tbh, she doesn’t owe anyone anything except basic gratitude for looking after her after being in that state but these ppl can’t seem to comprehend that and it’s just like ughh why do y’all gotta be that way.

Alternatively, when some of these people defend Griffith, they just leave no room for nuance and try to pretend Griffith has no flaws at all and that guts does everything wrong. (Some of them feel like trolls tbh). I do get it, as this fandom really loves to excessively hate on Griffith and glorify guts to the point where it just gets tiring and gets in the way of any meaningful discussion. But these analyses just swing entirely in the opposite direction to counteract that, and completely miss the nuance they could have imo.

Especially with regards to Griffith. I feel like a big part of the problem is that due to the nature of what he does to Casca during the eclipse it makes him quite a polarising character. People either want to completely hate on him and not discuss anything good about him at all or they overcompensate by trying to turn him into a saint to defend him. And imo both parties completely miss the point of griff, or at the very least are missing the complexity of his character.

Well even that isn’t the entire truth because I think on a level the majority of the fandom is in a consensus that Griffith is a brilliantly written character, many of them call him the best manga villain period. So it’s not like him being recognised as complex or well written is the issue, but I think even a lot of these supposedly “neutral” deep dives into griff seem to lean more in the direction of depicting him as a calculating sociopath, someone who needs to feel in control of his pawns and never felt any love for the BoTH including/except guts (depending on the individual). And that the eclipse and whole GH thing just revealed his “true nature” and what he was all along. And even if they do portray Griffith more sympathetically and recognise that he did have strong feelings for guts and the BoTH they either ignore or deny the extent of the griffguts relationship and just default to saying that gutsca is the best path forward for guts and that griff is root of all evil / has to be killed by guts in a bloody epic battle for the end to be satisfying.

I also saw the ask which was saying something to the effect of how a lot of the more dudebro-esque berserk enjoyers only really appreciate Casca to the extent they do because she showed that she’s Guts’, she’s *his* woman. And that’s something I also believe, i think there’s a lot more to be unpacked there too. but in general with the tendency the same people I’ve been talking about have to do this too, one guess I have is that due to berserk being their fav/one of their fave mangas and guts being their fave protagonist by extension, these ppl will be very defensive over all/most aspects of it. And I’ve seen this in the way they react to any criticisms of it, especially involving criticisms regarding misogyny/ Casca’s and other FC’s treatment. They often stress that Casca is one of the best/ if not the best female character in fiction, and whilst I love casca myself, I think that this is a rather bleak statement lol. Plus it’s so true what you said about them seeing Casca as Guts’ narrative reward. Idk, I feel like these kinds of takes that seem to push Casca being a prize for guts and the ones that are against discussing Guts and Griffith’s relationship in a romantic context tend to go hand in hand.

Anyways sorry this turned out to be a bit longer and more of a rant than I hoped but ig I just wanted to convey some of my thoughts and frustrations surrounding the discourse about berserk. Of course, I get that many of these opinions will be very popular and having them doesn’t make anyone less of a fan. I just think some of them can often come from some misguided interpretations. Though who knows where the manga is headed now lol I could be completely misreading things

Yeah lol you've pretty much detailed why I ignore 90% of the fandom and just do my own thing in this little griffguts-y tumblr circle here. Can't blame you for wanting to rant about it if you spend any time on like, the Berserk reddit or whatever. Glad you could get that off your chest!

Wrt youtubers, you might want to check out this guy. I can't personally rec him because I don't have the attention span to watch fandom-related youtube videos myself, but some of the same people who follow me like him, and it sounds like we share some similar opinions.

ETA: a more critical take on his channel, and some more youtube vid recs here

And just as a quick heads-up, I think the 'potato casca' nickname is pretty derogtory in an ableist way so if you send any future asks I'd appreciate if you just said post-eclipse or regressed Casca or something like that. It's no big deal, I know it's super prevalent elsewhere in fandom and if you've never really thought about it it's easy to just use the same terms you've seen everywhere else, but yeah that one kinda sucks imo. Yet another reason I find the Berserk fandom mostly distasteful and obnoxious lol.

[urthemiiel]

band name bestie and wild card for mercy, beginnings bandmates and tattoo for kian (hope it's not too much ddjdskjd)

THANK U!! it is not too much dont worry <3 but ill put it under the cut bc its long hehe

infamous mc ask game!!

mercy

Band name: How did they and the others come up with the band name? Has the name changed since it was founded?

- their band name is final girl, like the horror movie trope! mercy is a big fan of horror or gore or anything spooky. the name has been the same since the band was started, and it’s always been fitting since they are a punk band with a female lead and the aesthetics to match the ongoing horror theme!!

Besties: What’s their friendship with Rowan like? What are some things only he knows about them?

- she and rowan are super close!! he’s her best friend in the band. only he knows the full extent of her delusions LOL every day she texts him that she is fully convinced orion wants her bad and every day he says “u are literally insane ❤️”

Wild card: Tell us something about your MC! Feel free to really just roll us over with an emotional steamroller and crush the souls out of our bodies, if you’d like.

- shes super active on social media and has a decently large following even before botb. her fans love her for the drama… u better not piss her off bc she Will post call outs on her main ig 😭 during botb she absolutely heckles both soft violence and underground wastebasket and says mean things to their fans just bc she thinks it’s funny. besides being a troll she also posts a lot of selfies and thirst traps bc shes hot!!!!

kian

Beginnings: When and how did they know they wanted to be a professional musician? Was there a deciding factor?

- kian was a bored and lonely child and his parents felt enough guilt that they enrolled him in piano lessons so he could have Something to do(idk how canon this could be but its canon To Me). he was a natural, and he loved it. it was his introduction to his love for music and for a while he did think he’d pursue it as a career but ultimately decided it would be boring and his dream switched to being a famous rockstar instead. going to his first live shows, discovering misfit alley, and meeting seven/eventually starting the band in high school solidified that goal

Bandmates: How do they feel about the members of the band? Would they still be interested in stardom if they weren’t with that group?

- hes close to everyone in the band in his own ways. mostly rowan and devyn tho. rowan is a partner in crime, they have the most fun together and will always find a way to piss off orion. devyn is the rational one and kind of a calming presence. they got closer after the whole party/seven fiasco. if he didnt have the band i think he’d still pursue that kind of music, but probably as a solo singing type thing

Tattoo: Did they keep the tattoo with Seven’s initials? Why/why not? What was that decision/execution process like? (Bonus: What do they think of Seven keeping their tattoo?)

- he did keep the tattoo and he also doesnt conceal it on stage. so something about kian is that he is absolutely terrified of needles. hes never gotten piercings or any other tattoos, and the one tattoo he has for seven is a testament to how much he loves him bc it was a whole ordeal just to get it. so besides the fact that he is still horribly in love with sev, he also will not get it removed or covered bc he acts like sitting in the chair and being touched with the needle again is the same as being tortured to death. he says that he will get it removed once seven gets it removed, but the thought of seven removing his initials makes him ill 🤕 its like his last shred of hope that seven doesnt completely hate him