#not to put anyone on blast but it’s apparent that some people didn’t even look at the rules before requesting one

[anteroom-of-death]

After the Party

Synopsis: Malcolm and his wife are attending some book event. For now.

A/n: I am a writer. Occasionally. I'm sorry for being shite with the uploads. Love you all. Warnings for mild cum eating and Ollie's general existence. Hahaha.

You fanned yourself discreetly. The heaters were at full-blast inside the cramped room. You could feel the lining of the skirt you wore starting to cling to you. It was starting to squall outside. You had half a mind to go outside and stand in it.

It would be a relief.

Your husband was off, still clutching a handful of files necessary for his job. Dazzling and scaring the masses of government people from multiple parties. And the press. Followed by his dark shadow, Jamie. Whom you quite liked, but at the moment was the bane of your existence since he tried to coup the faith of your husband out of fear of change.

You didn’t understand why you had to come to this party. It was some nutter’s book launch.

A few spouses had also come but they were put off by you for the crime of loving the scariest man in the room. His reputation preceded him too much. Also, your “noticeable” age difference made people fear the worst sometimes.

You would have thought other scandals would have turned their heads by now!

The Reeder boy approached you. He was possibly hell-bent on ruining every time you saw him.

You clutched your glass of Coke tighter.

“Did your father let you out of the house finally?” Reeder mocked, pointing to Malcolm. The irony was he was younger than you.

You blamed jealousy. He obviously got off on whatever Judas or Brutus fantasies he clearly had coming to fruition slowly. He probably loved masturbating to the image of him getting fucked by your husband on top of a print-out of party manifesto or whatever.

You inhaled and breathed out slowly, “Papa let’s me out twice a year for good behavior!” You mocked his slick, posh accent, as you discreetly tried fixing the strap of your bra under the turtleneck you wore.

Malcolm eventually saw you blanching and scowling as Reeder tried to target you more.

“Ah, noticed your glass was getting’ low, pet. Take mine…” He addressed you and swapped glasses with you. Quickly his tone changed, “You! Fuck nut, get your girl a fresh drink. Be useful! For fuck’s sake!” He said as he shoved the boy away from you. Hopefully towards the Tory girl he was apparently trying to honeypot and failing to do so…

You sipped the orange juice quietly and squeaked out a thank you.

“He likes you.” Malcolm hypothesized as he whipped out his phone and checked it. He sent a quick text and shoved it. You noticed Jamie pat his pocket and check it. He looked over at the pair of you.

He slung an arm around you and kissed your forehead.

“I need to use the restroom.” You confessed. “Can you walk me? I don’t want to deal with anyone looking at me like they did last time I got lost.” You stone-faced ground your jaw.

It was fairly easy to get lost in this place.

“Sure.” He shook his head, walking over to Jamie and whispering something in his ear before rejoining you and opening the door for you.

The hallway was empty. Thank goodness.

You exhaled as if you had been holding your breath for the entire time you’d been at the party.

He looked good. Too good. It was always such a sin for him to look like this on this lighting and in the stupid suits his job demanded him to wear.

You left him in the hall and went to the restroom. When you left the stall, he was in there with you.

“This is the ladies…” You rolled your eyes.

“Did you have to wear that?” He gestured to your simple turtleneck and faux leather skirt get-up. Not particularly sexy, the skirt was even floor length!

“I’ve been hard since you fucking got here.” He approached you, as if to illustrate the point. He fingers the fabric of your belt holding the outfit together. “I want to fuck you here.” He pressed you against the sink’s countertop.

He was right, he was hard. It was pressing against both of your abdomens.

His hand found it’s way to the hollow of your throat as he pressed you into a position where you had no choice but to sit on the edge of the counter now. He kissed your cheek and traced his tongue down the line of your jaw.

“What if someone catches us?” You reasoned, despite every fiber of your body wailing to let him take you then and there.

“Oh, let them. They’ll never speak again!” He laughed. His work persona leaking out. The soft sweet house-husband you knew was dead in these lands. Malcolm was dead, long live Tucker.

This is who he was outside the bubble of your home and what little personal lives you both had. Just a small facet of who he was.

You were quickly falling under his spell and were seeing how quickly you could at least slide your tights down and at least slide your panties to the side for this when you had the realization that you might, personally, be embarrassed if someone, especially one of those judgmental bitches that also married into this life walked in.

You pushed him off as he was just getting his cock out.

“Save it ‘til we get home? Please.” You batted your lashes. “I don’t want caught.” You reasoned.

He pulled back and sighed, “Fine. You’re in for it when we get home!” He smeared his face with his hands as if to manually compose himself into something recognizable. He somehow had gotten his belt undone in the brief time that this attack on your face had taken place.

You twisted your tongue and rolled your eyes as you fixed it.

Somehow you felt like this was just the beginning of a very long night. Longer than it already was.

Your social battery was already dead and gone, so this provided you an opportunity to go home anyways.

You washed your hands and exited, him following you like a bat out of hell. Back into that room…

He went back to talking. Seemed like he was making a graceful and acceptable exit from it.

He joined you as he gave you your coat.

The Reeder boy approached, “Awe, is it past curfew?” He shot you a look that seemed both in mocking and envy.

You balled up your fist and went to strike the annoying boy. A strong, familiar hand caught your wrist as you could see Reeder begin to flinch. You could feel your face twist from scowling and rage-filled to annoyed and put out.

“No, not now.” Malcolm ordered you.

“I’ll fucking deal with you on fucking Monday, walking syphilis.” He shoved Ollie into the corner a tad. “Don’t ever hit my wife again.” He spun the event around.

Oliver Reeder, hitting Malcolm Tucker’s wife would keep this gossip mills busy for a while.

You knew that much about your husband’s job. It was simple enough.

As you made your way through the halls and towards the exit, Jamie appeared, as if his leash was yanked by Malcolm’s invisible hand.

“Tell people that Ollie tried to strike (y/n).” Malcolm barked order at him. “He may have also hit on her and groped her. Your choice.”

"Aye, that's me, boss. Nae fuckin' worries. I'll make sure they all know what a sick wee fucker he is... Ta!” He slugged his beer, grasped so oddly in one hand and started whipping put his phone and texting.

You ripped off and chewed your right index fingernail.

The cold air felt wonderful on your sweating form. Too bad that it was shortly interrupted by the called car and driver pulling up. You could have stood there with the flakes hitting your face from that moment until the end of eternity…

Soon enough, you were home.

The minute the key unlocked the deadbolt, he pounced on the back of your neck, rough kisses with the faintest hint of stubble grazing down the back of exposed neck as teeth made purchase with the hollow of nape of your neck.

“You’re such a fucking tease.” He purred as he shoved you through your front door and shoved you into the entrance and parting your legs with his. “Making me wait while my balls are aching. Took me all not to pin you the fuck down and fuck you in the middle of that room.”

He groped your breast roughly through both turtleneck and bra.

So this is what everyone else got? This sharp, crude and dangerous man? You’d never been given of an inch of roughness by the man. He’d be soft and gentle from the first moment your eyes had met.

You flushed deeply and felt your clit throb and a familiar ache wracked through your core. You moaned and felt your body relax against the wall as he unbuckled his pants and bunched up your skirt, tearing aside your tights and underwear as he slid you down the wall. He steadied the two of you with one of his hands on both of yours. He shoved your butt up with his free hand and slid his cock in your increasingly-wet cunt.

“Christ, you feel so fuckin’ great. You’re so tight. Aren’t you? My tight little missus.” He went on as he gripped your hip with one hand and started pounding you frantically.

The words did something to you.

You felt your spine sink as you went rigid elsewhere.

“No, this won’t do.” You heard him mutter after what felt like several minutes. He went over to the sofa, dragging you along by your wrist, held only in his fingers. He clumsily sat as he slung you over his lap.

“Sit on my lap. Be a good girl.” He pulled your hips over and you onto his cock.

He began to bounce you as he pet your hair, his jaw locked as he pushed himself further into you with every bounce. You felt yourself start to grind down with every thrust.

“Such a fucking slut for me. Show me how you want my cock, angel.” His praise had you swooning over backwards as you felt your head roll back and moan.

He kept bucking his hips forward and up as you moaned more. You felt a guiding hand keep you on his cock and your walls get tighter.

“Oh, fuck.” He groaned as he shot his load into your aching, well-towards-an-orgasm pussy.

You complained, “No! Don’t pull out!” As he slipped himself out of you and let out a huffy little puff of air.

“Of course. You’re such a good girl for me.” His eyes had a strange glint in them. Debauched. That was the only way you could describe it. He was definitely debauched.

He pulled you down to the ground and tilted a pillow from the couch down and propped your hips up on it.

One of those deft, long fingers reached and stroked your lips and went down, wiping up the leaking cum from your hole, digging in slightly.

He brought the finger to your lips and parted them, cleaning it off with the wetness of your mouth.

He went down and dug out a tad more and repeated the process…

“Now, look at what you’ve done, pet.” He cooed. “Look what a mess you’ve made!” Tucker fading and Malcolm taking his place.

He kissed your lips with a feathery smile.

You would have passed out right then and there…

He slid his way to between your legs, where your cunt was fully on display. You couldn’t see but you could feel him breathing down your thighs as he licked and sucked on your raw, throbbing clit.

He steadied himself by pressing and pulling your thighs apart more.

You felt his teeth bite you roughly. Right at the top of your inner thigh, right where you were most sensitive and your flesh had rolled down into and you bucked your hips further. His face shoved directly into you. The slight stubble striking across the new marks as you felt his nose swipe into your hollows.

You groaned as you felt him commit to going down on you. Seemed like he was intent on cleaning up your mess. You failed upwards as you tried to find his hair to play with as he continued to suck and bite and nibble you to a pathetic moan.

“Please, please.” You felt yourself babble out.

You felt girlish and stupefied.

He stroked your folds and tutted. You groaned a tad more, slipping further from reality.

“If you insist, little one.” You could feel his smile from your vantage-less point.

He continued on until you came.

“Don’t wear that outfit again. I cannae focus. I may have leaked more than pre-cum.” He joked.

You nodded from your dumbfounded spot on the floor he had you in.

You still felt a little full of what remained of his load and like you has fully lost the plot here…

He joined you on the floor, yanking more pillows down and propping up both of your heads. He curled you into his chest and kissed your forehead. Both of you still partially still dressed in your clothes of your roles outside of this safe bubble you had; in that moment you couldn’t feel further from Mrs. Tucker. Just his (y/n).

His phone started buzzing off the hook. You swore you saw him switch it off, for the first time ever.

He pulled the blanket off the back of the sofa.

The snow squall outside raged on.

And you felt very safe and warm.

[lightofraye]

I was on a live with my friend who has an account on Instagram specifically for Spn and she revealed that she went to a con and Jensen didn’t have his wedding band on and his manager found him, gave the ring to him and demanded he wear it. Apparently he seemed upset that he had to and he looked visibly sad and was anxiously fiddling with it the rest of the day. He doesn’t even hide his misery in front of us. Why do people choose to turn a blind eye and think danneel is a great person?!

Hi there!

Y'know, I had gotten this message this morning, but could not answer until now because of so many reasons, one of which was to ask which con this was at! Plus, I had to ask if you wanted me to hide your identity or not. I imagine there will be some Danneel stans and potentially AAs that will not take kindly to discovering that Jensen is very, very unhappy. It shatters their delusion of the "perfect marriage" and all that.

I'm heaving a sigh, because this is going to just pissed them off some more.

As I (and so many others!) have said: Jensen isn't happy!

Anyway, after corresponding with the asker, I have been able to confirm where and when this happened!

Credit to the asker who asked their friend and got me the information.

It happened at Burcon, during the St. Patrick's weekend. If it's the Gersh agent that was with him during at least one of the European cons (JIB, I believe?), I'm stumped as to why they would even care if Jensen was without his ring. I mean, it wouldn't be the first time.

According to the asker, it happened again while Jensen was at JIB.

We know that his "branding and endorsement" agent from Gersh was with Jensen. It's puzzling as to why. Maybe something involved regarding Countdown, but once again: why?

As confirmed by the person I spoke to, the follower who has been in the creative and entertainment industry, Jensen's narrative has always been inconsistent. If Jensen retained Gersh to expand beyond "brand and endorsement" to help improve his "family man image", I have so many questions!

Namely: the ring means jackshit. No, seriously, it means jackshit. All it indicates is that he's married--not that he's faithful, loyal, or anything. It's the keeping of the vows that make the difference, not the freaking jewelry.

Secondly: if he's so damned miserable--and anyone with eyes could tell, even in photos with Danneel, not that he's been seen with her in an age--why go through it even longer? Why impose such misery? Just end the blasted marriage and find happiness elsewhere already.

Third: if it is to improve the "family man image", uhhh.... going about it the wrong way. Especially given we haven't seen Jensen with Danneel since that one outing in Dallas... and that was just with Danneel. Family man image makes me think of him and his kids, which need not include his wife.

Fourth: Why does the manager/agent have the freaking ring?!

Soooo many questions, not nearly enough answers. I appreciate the asker for this incredible and heartbreaking update.

Oh! Before I forget! The asker asked: Why do people choose to turn a blind eye and think danneel is a great person?!

Because despite what they accuse me of, those Jenneel/AAs fans are putting themselves in that delusion. They want the marriage to be perfect, to have Jensen beyond reproach, to believe that Danneel is sweet and kind when we know better (seriously, I have quite a bit of evidence and there are others!). To see Danneel otherwise shatters that delusion and they can't accept it.

I, on the other hand, see Jensen as a talented actor who in a situation he's been miserable in for some time, placed on a pedestal that he never wanted to be on in the first place. However, to survive that attention, he became the mask. I don't know if he'll be okay....

[wish-incorrect-quotes]

Not putting this in the tags because I'm afraid of inviting too much drama, but anyway, I’ve made a list of stuff that happened before Magnifico ever used the book:

There’s the obvious one, setting up a system in which all the people who live in the kingdom need to hand over an important part of themselves to him, and he’ll only allow a very small percentage of people to have their life’s dream come true. This went on for at least decades, possibly more. It was not a single moment of decision making due to stress.

It’s strongly implied, if not outright canon, that when deciding which wishes to grant, he favors the people who choose to directly serve him and the people who have a wish that will personally benefit him.

Aside from the very recently 18 Simon, his castle staff seems to be made up entirely of underage teenagers. I highly suspect this is because he’s realized child labor means he will benefit from workers with more energy and enthusiasm, because they aren’t living without their wish yet.

Kitchens are full of sharp things and things that can scald you. Many people who work in them, even those who are highly trained, end up covered in burn marks and scars. Yes, Dahlia is intelligent and competent, but it's still wildly irresponsible to make a 16 year old run a professional kitchen without an adult on hand in the room.

Just before Asha meets the king, the previous candidate for the apprenticeship runs away sobbing. Amaya doesn’t seem surprised by this, which would indicate this is far from the first time Magnifico has made someone burst into tears.

He replies with “Do we call that a talent?” to the teenager excited to show him a few drawings she made. Not exactly “evil” I guess, but definitely a good way to crumble the self-esteem of someone who admires him.

He justifies his system by saying that “No one should have to see their dreams destroyed before their eyes.” But locked away in a tower, where most people will die before they ever see it again, that’s fine apparently.

Anyone who looks at an image of an old man playing the lute for a small handful of people and decides it’s a threat should not have complete control over which wishes could be considered “dangerous”.

“You’re young, you don’t know anything.” Great way to handle a concerned citizen there. That will definitely show the younger generation you have their best interests at heart.

Asha, who I will remind you is a teenager, is upset but still makes her case without even raising her voice. Magnifico, who is supposed to have the temperament to rule an entire kingdom, responds with yelling and a threatening blast of magic. I’m rather concerned about what else might have happened if Amaya hadn’t interrupted them a moment later.

He deliberately raises Sabino’s hopes and then dashes them just to spite Asha for disagreeing with him. Also makes Asha publicly sit onstage in front of the entire kingdom to watch him do it.

He makes it clear that now he’ll never consider granting Sakina’s wish either, even though she hasn’t done anything but be related to someone he’s mad at.

If Asha plans to have a family someday, she has pretty good reason to worry that any children of hers will also likely be condemned to life with their wish automatically locked away forever.

Who knows how many other people were taken out of consideration just because the king didn’t like someone they knew?

Later on, he tells his people that they were put at risk by an unknown traitor with magic, then almost immediately starts getting annoyed because people are nervous and asking for some further clarification and reassurance.

The crowd gets at most a bit worked up, but still, no one ever says anything threatening or insulting towards Magnifico. They’re just asking questions because they want to understand more about what’s happening in the kingdom. This is enough for Magnifico to decide he doesn't have enough control, so he should turn to dangerous forbidden magic to increase his power.

Maybe you could argue that trying to use the situation to get a wish ceremony was a bit greedy, but I'd still say that if Magnifico didn't like people asking for wishes, he shouldn't have been literally removing people's ability to work on it themselves.

Of course people are going to be eager to get him to grant wishes, he's told them it's too hard for them and made it so they can't do it without him.

Last note, I've seen people suggest that the book's power was removed when he was imprisoned in the staff, and it's terrible that he was put in the dungeon anyway. I'm not sure the move ever said that, but if it is the case, he still shows zero remorse and thinks he was in the right. There's no "I shouldn't have used the book, I feel terrible about what it led to." Just "Can you believe they pushed back while I was purposely unleashing forbidden magic, crushing wishes, and chaining everyone to the ground? How could they do this to me?"

[not-a-space-alien]

Magnanimous Moonrise & Savage Sunset Chapter 29MS

Hi everyone!! Here we are. This is the last chapter of Magnanimous Moonrise & Savage Sunset. Thank you to everyone who's been reading along the way, and thank you to anyone reading after the fact! I have had such a blast with this story.

This is NOT the end of Valen's adventures with Lex and Ari. I still have a lot planned for these characters, so if you want to be notified when they come back, make sure you're on the tag list! Further writing in this series will use the same taglist as MMSS, unless you request to be taken off of it! And of course, we have a lot of fun K&J crossovers still to come!

Hope you enjoy!

Story masterpost

Warnings for this chapter: None

In this chapter: Valen panics as the walls close in around him, but Ari and Lex are able to help him once and for all.

***

Ari carried him gently up the stairs bridal-style, and he spent the evening in their bed squished between them.

Despite everything, it was the best he’d ever slept.  Despite everything, it was the happiest he’d ever been.

Until reality came crashing back down on him.

The phone rang the next morning at sunrise.  Ari grumbled out of bed to go downstairs and answer it.  Valen remained clinging to Lex, worried about who could be calling.

Ari came back up, still in her bathrobe and slippers.  “We have a situation,” she announced.  “That was Franklyn, calling to give us a friendly heads up.  Sarah called the guild and told them what happened.  That, combined with the fact that we used official guild resources to get the maps of vampire territory, tipped the higher ups off to what we did and now the director himself is out looking for us.”

Valen went rigid, holding Lex with absolute panic.  The director knew he was here, the boss vampire hunter, apparently a close personal friend of Nick’s to boot.  He burst into tears.  This was it.  He wasn’t safe with vampires, and he wasn’t safe with humans.  There was no place for him here or anywhere.  He’d almost managed to forget.

“We’ll run away,” Lex said.  “We’ll keep you safe.”

“Hold on,” Ari said.  She ground her teeth.  “Let’s not jump to that yet.”  She sat down on the bed, hand on her chin.  “Franklyn called to tip us off.  From the sound of it, the other hunters might be on our side too.  If we gather them all up to stand with us, the director will have to take us seriously.  Getting permission for Valen to be here would be way better than just making him be on the run for the rest of his life.”

Valen eased his death-grip on the blanket, lowering it down.  “Are-are you sure?”

“I know not everyone is going to take our side,” Lex said.  “What about Cyril and Isaiah?”

“We can just shoot them.”

“Okay, well let’s not jump to that yet.”

“Everyone already feels bad about letting Nick have Valen for so long,” Ari said.  “Everyone except Cyril and Isaiah ditched Nick after not too long.  All we have to do is let them meet Valen and tell them all what he was doing here to win them over.”

Valen wrung his hands.  That sounded extremely stressful.  He didn’t have a good feeling about betting his safety on his personal likeability, because people often misinterpreted his actions and attitude.  “Ari, I-I’m scared.”

Ari came over and put her strong arms around him.  “We will take care of you,” Ari said into his hair.  “I promise.  No matter what.  We went all the way to your husband’s estate to get you.  We’d do it again.”

Valen melted in her arms.  “Okay,” he whispered.  “I trust you.”

Ari kissed him on top of the head.  “And I’m not gonna take that for granted.”  She plopped him back into Lex’s arms.  “Lex, you and Bailey and Jerome keep an eye on him.  I’ve got some phone calls to make and some running around to do.”

***

The director could be convinced, if the circumstances were right.  It was now her mission to make those circumstances happen.

She had to gather up the rest of the hunters from this base.  She could get them all on her side if she said the right things.

It was a good time for it, since all the hunters on patrol that night had just come back at daybreak.  There were a few pairs that were off-duty tonight, who Ari managed to get ahold of by phone or just driving over to their house.

Even the ones who were not particularly enthusiastic about it knew something was going on, and that was enough to get them all to gather at the base.

Even Cyril and Isaiah were there.  She knew they were going to cause problems, but best to have it happen now while everyone was there.

She told them everything.  She told them why Valen was here, who he was, what he’d done.  How he’d killed Nick in self-defense.  How Ari would do anything to defend him.  How they all bore responsibility for this, and how they had an opportunity to fix it now.

There were arguments and questions.  There were skeptical people being convinced.  There were fistfights, when Cyril and Isaiah were, as predicted, the last holdouts who were furious with Ari.

The tide turned when the rest of the hunters kicked Cyril and Isaiah out, and that was when Ari knew she’d done what she needed to do.  

Ari told all the other hunters to get ready for her to bring Valen over, expecting the hunter’s HQ to be the best place for the confrontation with the director to happen.  She then sped back home.

***

They helped Valen get some better clothes, long-sleeved shirts and boots more to his style, things that had been left behind at his house on human territory that they’d retrieved after he’d left.  They even found a mask for him to wear, putting together the same outfit he’d used to walk outside during the day in the past.

He was once again shrouded in black cloth, like a grim reaper walking out and about.  He was perfectly protected from the sunlight and he had four vampire hunters on his side to escort him around and keep him safe.

He was terrified.

Lex and Ari and Bailey and Jerome had all gotten out of the van, standing in the parking lot of the hunter’s base, trying to coax him to come out.  Valen stayed huddled in the corner.  His mask hid it, but they could all hear him crying.  “Are you sure I can’t just stay in the van?” he tried.

Lex’s heart broke.  He deserved so much better than this, being so scared even when surrounded by people who wanted to help him.  “It’ll be okay,” Lex said.  “For real this time.”  She held her hand out for him to take.  “If you trust me one more time, I promise I won’t let you down again.”

Valen took her hand with a shaking, be-gloved hand of his own.  He stepped out and let himself be steered into the hunter’s compound.

His heart pounded, terror coursing through him.  The last time he’d been brought in through this door, it’d been in a cage and for the purpose of months of brutal torture.  He would have frozen and been unable to take himself inside if not for the four humans half-pushing him in.

They stepped into the building.  All the hunters were gathered in the main room, and they all turned to face him.  Valen let out a whimper and clung to Ari’s side.

Ari put an arm around him, drawing him forward.  “Everyone, this is Valen.  You all know who he is, but let’s meet him properly this time.”

One of them stepped forward, rubbing his arm and looking embarrassed.  “Hey.  Um.  My name's Franklyn.  Um… I wanted to apologize.  I think we all… know what we let happen to you wasn't right.  I'm sorry.  We let you down.  Ari tells us you're here to try and make things better between humans and vampires.  If you're still down for that, we'd like to help.”

Valen slowly uncurled himself from Ari.  “Really?”

“Yeah, man.”

Valen took his mask off, dangling it from one hand, feeling okay looking at them eye to eye now.  Despite their declaration, a few of them shuffled nervously as he made eye contact with them.

“I've stood by and witnessed my fair share of atrocities that I didn't stop,” Valen said.  His voice shook, but only a little.  Lex and Ari having one hand on him each helped.  “What's important is that we forge a better future together.”

Panic surged through Valen as the hunters crowded in on him, but it was because they were cheering and slapping him on the back.  Ari started swatting them away, noting his discomfort.

“The boys have been working on something for you,” Ari said, to deflect.  “In the basement.”

The basement, the awful basement where he'd been trapped.  His trembling started up again.

“It's okay,” Lex soothed.  “Ari took care of everything.  You can trust us.”

It was half out of trust, half out of catatonic fear that he let himself be led back down to the basement.  He kept his eyes squeezed shut until they got to the bottom of the stairs.

The basement was… empty.  Of all the things that had been in it last time he was here.  The blood had been scrubbed away, there were no longer silver implements scattered about.

There were a few lab benches with some scattered labware on top.  Valen slowly uncrunched himself.  “Um, I'm not sure I understand.”

“We're offering to make this your lab,” Ari said.  “‘course, you went through some pretty fucked up shit here, so if you don't want that, you don't have to take it.  It's your space now.  If you tell us to fill it up with cement, we will.  But everyone agreed that’s what should happen, now.  We’re all on your side here, and we want you to stay here with us where we can protect you.”

Valen slowly turned around in the space.  It felt different now that it was empty.  He felt safer, here with his friends.

He couldn't believe he was actually considering this, but… maybe taking control of this space would be good for him.  To have agency over what had happened to him, to have authority here.  To overwrite the memories with new ones.

“We're going to pitch it to the director when he gets here,” Lex said.  “He's a very strategic man, so he'll be able to see that you're an asset.”

Valen turned and planted his face in Ari.  “I'd like to try,” he said tearfully.  “Thank you.”

His keen ears picked up the sound of a car pulling up outside.  Despite his vote of confidence, he moaned in terror and hid under one of the lab benches.

“Okay, that's okay,” Lex said.  “It's gonna be okay, but if it makes you feel safer to hide down here for a bit, you can do that.”

All four of the humans went upstairs, leaving Valen alone.  

The sound of conversation from upstairs.  It went on and on.  Valen hyperventilated and scrambled further into the room, fumbling hand clutching the doorknob to the darkroom where Nick had always developed his photos.  He fell into the room and jammed himself under the sink, pupils dilating wide in the darkness.

Footsteps on the stairs.  “He's down here?” said an unfamiliar voice.   A man.  The director.

He couldn't force his limbs to move.  He stayed where he was.

The door of the dark room creaked open.  It was Lex.  “Hey,” she said with slight amusement.  “It's okay to come out.”

Valen shakily took her hand and let her pull him out.

Lex and Ari were alone in the room with a very serious-looking man with sandy hair and bite mark scars on his neck.

“Director,” Ari said courteously.  “This is Valen.”

Valen gave into his nervous instinct to curtsey.  “Hello Directly–Director Hunter–”

The director’s stony face broke into a laugh.  “Yes, I'd expect that reaction from anyone in your position.”  He extended a hand.  “Better late than never on proper introductions, right?

Valen shook his hand.  This was the director, the one who’d allowed him to be tortured.  Were they just going to shake hands like that hadn’t happened? 

“Firm grip!” the director exclaimed.  Valen had trained himself to squeeze people's hands hard during handshakes because it was something men seemed to place inordinate value on, the firmness of the handshake.  He could easily crush the director's hand right now, but that probably wouldn't endear him to anyone.

“Alexis and Ari have informed me of the proposition the hunters at this base came up with for you,” the director continued.  “I wasn't aware you possessed your own scientific training.  I admit I was a bit hesitant about the idea at first.  It’s unconventional, but it would be a waste to not have you take Nick's place.”

The hair on Valen’s neck stood up.  “You want me to-”

“Not experiment on live vampires, if that's what you're worried about.  No, I think it's obvious by now that was… a mistake.  It was wrong to let that go on, and now we should move past it for the common good.”  That was something, at least.  “Which is why, along with the job offer, I want to extend to you the offer of safety within human territory.  You'd be under my personal protection.  I've been informed of your experiments to try and create artificial blood, and I'd like you to continue them here with Lex and Ari.”

He didn’t fully trust the director after everything, but… that was too much to pass up.  That was everything he wanted.  Could it really be that easy?

But no, it hadn’t been easy.  It had been hard.  But maybe it had been worth it, to get here.  “I'll do it.”  

The director smiled.  “Then let's get your lab set up so we can start making a better future together.”

***

Tag list <3

@aceouttatime

@annablogsposts

@cc1010foxy

@darlingwhump

@dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night

@dokidokisadness

@emcscared-whumps

@melancholy-in-the-morning

@nicolepascaline

@oddsconvert

@pigeonwhumps

@pumpkin-spice-whump

@some-thrilling-heroics

@soursagas

@thecyrulik

@the-scrapegoat

@whuarri

@whump-cravings

@whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump

@whumpycries

@whumpsday

@writereleaserepeat

[the-hilda-librarians-wife]

Sketchbook Week Day 7 - Cellularity

Summary: Trolberg General Hospital is a lovely place to work in. Unless you piss the pathologist off, of course, in which case it's hell. But she is hardly ever even seen in those white corridors, anyway, and apparently her mood has gotten better in the past few months since the new paediatrician had been hired.

That day was an unfortunate exception to Dr. Underhill's new wave of goodwill, though.

Notes: Written for @sketchbookweek Day 7 - Alternate Universe

‘Oh if we give people a free/AU day, they’ll surely make good use of it!’. WRONG. HOSPITAL AU 🧠🫀🫁🦴🧑‍🔬🔬🏥🏥🏥 🏥🏥🏥🚑🚑🚑🚑🚑🚑🌡️🌡️🌡️🌡️🌡️🥼🥼🥼🥼🥼🥼📋📋📋🧪🧪🧪🧫🧫🧫🧬🧬🔬🔬🔬🔬🔬🔬💊💊💊💊💊🩹🩹🩹🩼🩼🩺🩺🩺🩻🩻🩻🩻🧠🫀🫁🦴

That being said, content warning for discussion of health conditions, cancer, hospitalisation… all that stuff. Nobody actually suffers, this is silly fanfic, but keep that in mind if those are sensitive topics for you <3

-> The reference numbers scattered throughout the chapter are all things that I thought might be nice to explain. You can find the notes at the bottom of the fic, though they will be easier to read if you do so in ao3 (I put return to text options there)

Read it on ao3

When anyone asked Kaisa the reason why she’d picked this job, there were many different answers she was used to giving. She wanted to help people. It was all terribly interesting. It was the area that felt the least overwhelming. She just had a natural affinity for it. None of them were lies, and she’d gotten good at choosing which sides of the truth to reveal to each person who asked her, depending on how close they were. But the embarrassing truth that she was never going to admit anyone, was that she’d chosen pathology, simply put, because cells were pretty. She’d chosen it way before she could rationalise any of those other explanations. Way before she’d even realised her path had been traced, back when she was still so certain she’d follow in her tutor’s footsteps during histology class.

It couldn’t be helped. One look into a microscope and she’d been a goner. Those blasted hepatocytes would always be remembered as the thing she fell in love with the most quickly in her entire life. Though not by much.

So here she was, at this crossroads. Because she’d chosen this specialty - before she’d seen its other merits - for its beauty. Because for all that this might sound silly, the fact that she was in on this hidden, miniscule world and therefore was the only one who could find answers to truly essential questions sent her reeling every time.

But how the fuck was she expected to explain what was going on with the cells if there were none of them?

Kaisa huffed, giving up on the endeavour of finding a single useful cluster after she’d already run through the entire slide with no luck. Only useless blobs of stringy colloid [1] - which, okay, did look pretty but was not at all helpful - and the odd cell here and there. It was not, in any way, shape, or form (and it’s worth mentioning that a pathologist knows a lot about shapes and forms) enough for a diagnosis. And that’s because she knew what she was looking for, because truly, a child with a single thyroid nodule, irregular outlines and microcalcifications? She knew what that reeked of. And so did the paediatrician, who had immediately ringed Kaisa about it. She’d picked up the very second it had rang, of course. Kaisa didn’t much like using her cellphone to actually talk, but for her she always did.

And it had been a good thing, too. Always helped to know what to expect of the new slides that came in. Most doctors in the hospital liked to think of pathology as a magic lab you could send your problem to and just have it miraculously disappear, but contrary to popular belief Kaisa was not some sort of magician. She was not going to guess which card you picked. Nor was she going to throw around diagnosis without knowing the first thing about a patient’s case.

She shouldn’t have to, at least. But anyone would be hard pressed to remember a single time she’d gotten her verdict wrong, even when the information she’d been provided with was nowhere near sufficient.

Perks of having chosen the superior area of medicine.

That, and talking to nobody.

Which was clearly not working for her at the moment since she had to hastily turn off her microscope’s light to strut down Trolberg General Hospital’s not-so-busy corridors (admissions were on the lowermost floor), people in scrubs and white coats moving out of the way at the inpatient look on her face. She wouldn’t ever knock over anyone, of course. But they didn’t all necessarily know that, and would probably rather not try their luck.

The silent halls began gradually filling with sound as she moved out of the labs area. One floor down, to the surgical wards; now there were companions, friends and family of those admitted spread across some of the chairs lining up the walls, hushed conversation over the phone as someone delivered whatever news they had to the family members that weren't able to be present. Another flight of stairs and she was at the clinical wards, this one with corridors much more busy not because of companions, since patients there usually didn’t stay for long - for good reasons, get your mind out of the graveyard, Christ’s sake - but rather because of the rustle of nurses and technicians going from ward to ward. Kaisa rather thought that one blond woman she saw walking around was a nutritionist. Must be lunch time for them.

She really wouldn’t know. She’d been so caught up in going through every millimetre in all the slides from that damned fine needle aspiration (fancy way of saying you reverse-injected someone’s throat, that was) that she’d completely lost track of time and internal cues of hunger.

Come think of it, that may just play a part in why she was so damn pissed. Maybe she should take a break. The case wasn’t filed as urgent. She could easily go to the cafeteria, get her blood sugar levels back to normal, and deal with that issue later like a cool, controlled person.

She didn’t do that, of course. Kaisa knew very well what her hurry was about, and it wasn’t lunch time. Instead, she went down the last flight of stairs, where the clinics were, and marched straight up to radiology, uncaring if the patients all waiting to be called for their consultations, sitting or standing calmly near the walls, thought she was mad as she walked around with her white coat flowing behind her like a cape.

Oh, hell, she’d forgotten to close it all the way through again, hadn’t she?

The point was, when she’d arrived at the imaging centre, she’d worked herself up to such an unpleasant-looking state that no one so much as tried to stop her from strutting right in. ‘White coat effect’ means more than just blood pressure rising when you’re around. It was why she still wore it to work even though there was nothing to get dirty with at the lab.

Well, to avoid contamination too, she supposed. But it was mostly to Look Cool and to Open Doors, and everybody knew that.

The secretary let her know right away where the doctor was. All the aspiration’s slides had come with Lloyd’s stamp under the analysis request, so there was luckily no doubt about who she had to go to for this.

He had locked himself away in one of the report rooms, and was understandably startled once Kaisa opened the door up without as much as a knock to warn him. Light from the corridor immediately flooded the dark room, making him shield his eyes since he’d looked back at the sound of someone entering. He didn’t even have the time to ask her what was going on before Kaisa reached beside the door frame and turned on the ceiling lights.

“Come on, man!” It was the most emotion she’d ever heard him put in a sentence. Perhaps she should attempt to blind him more often.

Unwilling to remain there any longer than strictly necessary, Kaisa picked the folded request from her pocket and extended it towards him. “Did you do this FNA [2]?” The question was redundant given his stamp and signature were both present, but an accusation being the first thing out of her mouth sounded like it was a step over ‘rude’ and already inside ‘might get you kicked out of the imaging clinic’ territory. The younger man reached out to grab it and attempted to read even though he was still blinking from having to adjust his eyes so suddenly to the brightness. Even so, it took a couple moments longer than Kaisa would have deemed reasonable for him to give an answer.

“Hmmm, yeah?”

“Yeah?” She repeated a bit mockingly. “There isn’t a period at the end of your sentence. I’m only asking to be polite, what is yeah? supposed to mean?”

He rubbed the back of his head, with its ridiculous monk-like haircut. The man didn’t look shameful, only tired and more than a little annoyed at Kaisa’s presence.

“I mean, I asked for the cytology. But I didn’t do it.”

There was an answer already ready at Kaisa’s tongue. It went something among the lines of ‘what the fuck do you even think cyto means [3] if you don’t give me any damn cells to bloody look at?’ The plan was, however, foiled by the last part of his sentence. Her mind screeched to a halt

“What?”

Aware of what that must have sounded like, Lloyd raised his hands before Kaisa could start screaming at him. The sooner he got rid of her, the better. It was way too bright in there for his tastes.

“I let one of the students do it.” He said it as if it were a good thing, but Kaisa actually thought she was about to faint. “There’s this quiet little guy that shadows me often. I thought he was ready to give it a try. He’s already in his third year, you know. Was scared shitless, but it worked out in the end.”

Many thoughts swarmed Kaisa’s mind all at once, all fighting for a chance to reach her mouth and to maybe influence her to hit the radiologist’s extremely punchable face. Third year is far from old enough and are you fucking talking about David?!, but the one that came out instead was:

“You thought it’d be a good idea to let him practise it for the first time on a ten year old?”

Lloyd blinked, but it was the only show of emotion in his face. His brows, eyes and mouth remained as inexpressive as ever.

“Oh, the kid was ten? I didn’t really read the examination request all the way through.”

TIldy was going to be so very upset if she got expelled from the hospital for attacking a fellow doctor. Her left eye twitched. She bit her own tongue to try to keep it from spilling something that she’d come to regret. Her hands balled into fists. Yes. Tildy would be very upset indeed.

“Yes.” Kaisa said through clenched teeth. “The patient is ten.”

Lloyd seemed to take a moment to consider the information, though Kaisa doubted he was using more than two neurons to do so. It took him no longer than five seconds to lose whatever train of thought he'd been running after (if there had ever been one at all) and raise both eyebrows at her. Only slightly, of course. No one would ever be able to accuse him of emoting any more than was strictly necessary.

"So?"

"So?"

"I mean, it went well. He told me he'd gotten the patient to cooperate and had done what had been requested. By the looks of it, you got the material, didn't you?"

She had gotten the material, which was something he should give more thought to. It meant she had several useless pieces of glass to spare, and she really wouldn't mind using them to play target practice with him.

"Did you-" Kaisa spoke slowly in hopes that a little bit of breathing would ground her. "Instruct him on how to do it properly, and on what to ask the patient for? Because the cellularity in the slides you sent me is shit. I can't see anything. At all."

The man shrugged. "Well, I didn't just send him to test his luck. I let him watch me do it several times."

"But was he present when you talked to the patient? Does he know you need to ask the patient to, I don't know, stay silent? Or to not swallow? Or to not breathe too deeply when the exam is being done?"

"Well, no. I tell them that before they go to the ultrassonography, and the boy usually stays there. But, you know."

The sentence was left there. Right there. Kaisa began popping her fingers joints. Raven would be beyond annoyed.

"I do not know." She growled, and Lloyd just sent her a level look.

"It's very instinctive to ask for these things." He completed, to which she took what she hoped looked like an intimidating step closer. It was hard to feel in charge near most of her coworkers, but Lloyd's energy was so perfectly described by 'wet and pathetic' that it helped matters along for her.

"Well, clearly it's not instinctive!" She poked pointedly at the exam request with his stamp, his signature, and what she now understood to be David's calligraphy. "You know what's instinctive, though?" He shook his head, letting the tiniest bit of apprehension show by the bob of his cricoid cartilage. "To speak, breathe deeply and swallow when you are ten and someone's sticking a needle in your throat!"

The message finally seemed to have come through his thick skull, and he moved to his monitors to close the thorax radiographies he'd been looking at (someone had a pretty nasty pneumonia, apparently) to look for images and notes on that exam in the system. Kaisa wondered if he'd ever done a tomography on himself. She doubted the rays would have managed to have made it inside his head.

Maybe that was exactly the problem, though. Maybe he had been smart once and all that radiation had just melted his brain into something gooey and bright green. Heavens knew it was entirely likely.

"See the nodule?" He asked once he had found the young boy's file, and all the exams that had been performed on him in it. "It's not markedly hypoechoic, which is good. But the contours aren't precise and there are some calcification foci. What do you think?"

She thought it looked black and white and blurry. People who understood ultrasonography were either able to see stuff that other people weren't, like they were medicine's shrimps, or were just straight up making that shit up to make everybody else feel dumb. Kaisa saw a black ball in the middle of a light grey streak, thank you very much.

"I think the nodule's image matters very little to me right now. I need the material."

"Well..." Lloyd rubbed at his chin, looking entirely disinterested. "That's gonna be a problem. I already told him to send you all the slides that could be used."

"I only got four!"

"Yeah, the other ones were hemorrhagic [4]. You wouldn't have seen anything either."

Kaisa took a deep breath, and was proud of herself when the exhale didn't come out a scream. She also put a fingertip to Lloyd's chest and told him in no uncertain terms what he had to do, and what she'd do to him if he didn't go through it.

She was also proud of herself for that.

.........

It was a common misconception that hospital food only sucked for patients. Kaisa had no idea where it had come from, since it seemed very cruel from the people who had actually promised to only ever help them to have good food and only give them access to the soggy, saltless one. No. Hospital food was just all around trash. They all blamed the nutrition department for it; they were right to do so, too.

It wasn't like they didn't have other places to eat (the hospital staff, that was; the patients truly had no choice). They were in the middle of a bustling city, there was no lack of dining options in the blocks surrounding the hospital.

Did they ever go to any if it wasn't a special occasion? No. Because the laziness to even leave the building during their working hours united them all and made them hostage to hospital food.

"Hemorrhagic." Kaisa mumbled under her breath as she toyed with a roasted baby potato on her plate. "Fucking erythrocytes. They shouldn't even be real cells."

"What are ye whining about this time?”

There was a clatter as Edmund not so gently placed his tray on the table, sitting down on the spot right in front of her. He looked tired, and Kaisa would have worried that his morning had been too harsh except that tired was just how he usually looked. She threw her hands up in the air, not really caring that she probably sounded like a toddler.

“Red blood cells! They’re a pain, they don’t-”

“They don’t even have nuclei, yeah, I know, we’ve had this conversation a couple of times before. It’s never about them, though. Which slide is kicking your ass this time?”

Kaisa crossed her arms and slid a few inches down the back of her chair. The cafeteria was mostly empty, way past its rush hour. That meant the food was no longer as fresh, but Kaisa preferred that over the insufferable noise of every physician in the place talking all at once. It was mostly the technicians who ate at that hour of the day; they were eons more bearable. Especially because they didn’t try to engage her in small talk.

Edmund being there didn’t bother her, though. She hadn’t gotten truly close to many people regardless of how long she’d been working at that same hospital, but the infectologist was someone she was reasonably sure she could call her friend. Him, and the psychiatrist as well, she had to admit, even if she’d known her for a long time before; madwoman had grown on her like an MRSA colony [5]. Which unfortunately didn’t mean she wasn’t stressed enough to prefer not to speak to anyone.

“None.” She lied. “It’s nothing. You’re looking far worse for wear than me, though. What is it?”

Though she was under no illusion that he was convinced, Edmund took the bait. That meant, of course, that he must be bursting to talk about it. Which he did, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands, his food remaining untouched while Kaisa took the opportunity to continue eating hers.

“I think I’ve got a case of spotted fever.”

She raised an eyebrow, barely finishing her chewing before speaking. “Why the suffering over it? You like these weird diagnostics. If you already narrowed it down to spotted fever you can begin treating it, right?”

“Yes!” He laid both hands flat on the table surface. “That’s not the problem! The problem is that he could have been diagnosed and treated long ago if his GP had been moderately inquisitive. Wanna know how I found out?”

Kaisa nodded, though she knew she’d end up hearing it no matter her answer.

“I asked about any recent travels and the patient, unprompted, showed me a picture. Of himself in a forest.” Edmund leaned forward towards her, lowering his tone of voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “Holding an Amblyomma sculptum.”

Nodding slowly, Kaisa leaned towards him across the table as well, keeping his gaze and a deadpan face. When she was close enough that she could feel the man’s breath across her chin, she whispered with the same solemnity as he had.

“Your little bug names mean nothing to me. [6]”

“Wow!” He leaned back in a swift motion and crossed his arms. “See if I ever let you show me a ‘pretty eosinophile’ again!”

Kaisa also returned to her previous position, except this time her right elbow was on the table and she was pinching the space between her brows. “Ugh, sorry, Ed. I didn’t mean it in a rude way, I’m just not in a good mood today. And I really do have no idea what that name means.”

For all his talk, Edmund was a patient man. Not that he’d ever admit it, but he was. He opened (though ‘open’ might be too strong of a term for the subtle expression on his face) a compassionate smile for her

“It’s one of the tick species that transmits the Rickettsia rickettsii.” He answered, and Kaisa patted herself in the back for not calling him a nerd for throwing another scientific name at her. “Now will you tell me why you’re grumpier than normal?”

“I- yes, well, I suppose I should.” She sighed, not even bothering to protest the accusation. It was hard even for her to bear herself at the moment. “I’m just frustrated because the cytology samples for a patient I wanted to diagnose as soon as possible came with very low cellularity. Couldn’t see shit. And when I went to Lloyd to talk about it, it became clear that it was his fault. He let a student do the aspiration for the first time without any supervision whatsoever. So now we’ll have to wait two more weeks [7] to redo it and see if I can get some decent slides.”

“Hm.” Edmund played with his food more than he ate it. Kaisa had a good inkling that he was probably wishing it was a sandwich instead of an actual meal, but didn’t want to eat one in front of his coworkers. Had to set an example, and all that. “Well, not Lloyd’s smartest idea - not that Lloyd ever has many of them - but I guess the student had to begin somewhere.”

“Somewhere didn’t have to be a ten year old.”

The infectologist lifted his gaze to her, suddenly looking a lot more excited. Which never bore well, of course.

“Oh, so this isn’t about the slide, is it?” He asked with a mischievous twinkle to his eyes. Kaisa squirmed in her seat in front of him.

“What else would it be about?”

Humming in fake contemplation, he rubbed his chin before answering. “Maybe, just possibly, it could be about the new paediatrician who someone has oh so kindly been trying to befriend?”

Kaisa almost choked on her food. Almost, because her mouth hadn’t actually been full, so it would have actually been an achievement if she’d done so. She was certain her cheeks were getting red, no doubt giving her away.

Fuck, this was the major downside of having friends. She’d thought she was being subtle.

“Edmund, I’m a professional!”

“Of course you are.” He said, a little more seriously. “And honestly, you need to get rid of this idea that being a professional means not talking to anyone. It’s healthy to have people you rely on. Nothing more natural than getting close to the people you work with, too.”

Kaisa tried to look away, but he petulantly flinged a crouton at her to get her to pay attention to him.

“Listen, it’s been cute seeing you try to hide this crush-” At that point she opened her mouth to argue against the accusation that she had something as embarrassing as a crush, but he lifted his hand to ask for her silence. For some reason, she acquiesced. Probably because she knew she had no good arguments against him. “But I just want you to know you can be straightforward about it to me. I can be your wingman!”

Impaling a potato with her fork, Kaisa grumbled. “I don’t need a wingman. I need sufficiently cellular slides.”

“Which brings me to my next point.” He continued as if he had never been interrupted, completely unfazed. “You should be there for the kid’s next FNA.”

“What?” It was bold of him to suggest she leave the comfort of her lab. Very bold. “Why would I do that? I don’t know shit about ultrasonography.”

“‘Course not. But I bet it would be easier for the patient.”

“How the fuck does having another nitwit in a white coat in the room help the patient?”

Edmund rolled his eyes. He was a good decade older than her, and even though most days it didn’t feel like it, every now and then he’d act just condescending enough that she’d remember it. It made her want to deck him each time.

“Do you have kids, Kaisa? Nephews?” He asked even though he knew damn well the answer. She shook her head anyway, glaring at him. “Well, I do. And let me tell you, a ten year old patient will not be happy about going through all that again. It’s a wonder they even managed to do it the first time.”

“And you want me to do what, distract him?”

“Comfort him. You can’t do a lot but you can make sure the kid and his parents know that there is at least one doctor who truly cares about the case.”

Bastard. He had a point. And he probably knew she’d recognize it too, judging by his smug smile.

“Besides, that’s the way to know the procedure will be done correctly, isn’t it? Get your slides as soon as possible and run to your lab. Wouldn’t want to leave the patient’s doctor waiting.”

She didn’t even acknowledge the jab, but Edmund’s smirk made Kaisa hyper aware that this wouldn’t be the last time they talked about the subject.

…......

A lot of time had been lost with her whole mad dash for proper cytology samples, so after she came back to the lab Kaisa found out she was behind schedule. That sure did put a damper on her plans to sneak down to the paediatrics clinic, but unfortunately she had to admit it wasn’t actually necessary to go there.

“Hey, Johanna. Kaisa here.” She said and immediately cringed, turning her face away from the microscope’s lens and to her phone, deleting the audio she’d begun recording right away. It was an audio message in a chat they’d already begun. She didn’t need to introduce herself, for heaven’s sake.

Pressing the recording button again, she went back to the prostate biopsy on her microscope, even if only to pretend - to herself, seeing as there was nobody else nearby - that she wasn’t completely focused on Johanna.

“Hey, Johanna. Sorry for the audio message, I didn’t want to call you so I wouldn’t bother your consultations. I looked at the slides from that patient you were worried about. The ten year old with a papillary carcinoma suspicion. I’ll have to get back to you about it, though. The cellularity was awful, Lloyd will have to call him back to repeat the FNA. I’m so sorry about that. You, uh, you might want to contact the family to tell them that yourself. Both because they know you better and because Lloyd has the sensibilities of a rock. Um. Yeah. That’s all. Good afternoon.”

Kaisa sighed and dropped her head to her hands as soon as she’d pressed send. Her brain hadn’t actually registered a single thing she’d seen on that slide.

Her answer came around half an hour later - meaning she’d been right not to call - when Kaisa had actually already managed to diagnose a benign hyperplasia, write her report on it (easily the worst part of her job), and move onto the next slide. It was a couple of short messages in a row, which initially disappointed her, silly as that was. She’d sort of been hoping she’d also get an audio message back so she could at least hear Johanna’s voice. However, when she read it, she immediately decided it was better than a few seconds long recording.

Johanna (ped)

Hi, Kaisa!

Ugh, that’s frustrating to hear, but I’m sure they will understand. Thank you for letting me know, I do prefer to tell them that myself

Also thank you sooo much for checking that out and getting back to me so quickly. I truly appreciate it <3

Are you free this evening? Heard there was an italian place two blocks away and I thought we might try

Well, I might try with you, at least. I’m sure you’ve been around long enough to already have eaten there 😅

Kaisa bit back an embarrassing giggle - even if her microscope would have been her only witness - and down on her bottom lip. She’d finish looking at this slide and then she’d answer, she promised herself. It would be her first time visiting whatever place that was, and she couldn’t be more excited even if she didn’t care about the food. Though she’d never admit to Johanna that the promise of her company was the only thing strong enough to ever get her to leave her hospital-home routine.

…......

The procedure was uneventful the second time around. Not that it didn’t involve a fair bit of whining from the patient’s part, but Kaisa rather thought he was more than justified in it. Like hell she’d have allowed someone who looked like Lloyd to pierce her throat. He was a lot more cooperative than he could have been, and all in all, Edmund had been right (not that she’d ever tell him that). It seemed like Kaisa’s presence really did mean a lot to both him and his father.

Not to blow her own horn, but she kind of could see why. She definitely thought - hoped - she inspired more confidence than bloody Lloyd.

As soon as it was done, Kaisa took the slides to her lab technicians right away. They seemed to take her pleas for speed seriously, given that in almost no time at all she had the samples on top of her microscope’s stage.

No unusual architecture; the cells weren’t arranged in papillae or swirls. No enlarged nuclei, nor were they irregular, pale, or had grooves or pseudoinclusions. She searched every inch of the six slides she’d gotten and there wasn’t a single atypia, psammoma body, giant cell, hobnail cell, or anything else that might give away a papillary carcinoma. There wasn’t anything that might indicate any malignancy, truth be told. All Kaisa saw were clusters - six in her least cellular slide and fifteen in her most cellular one, thank the heavens - of perfectly normal looking cells. That, and a lot of colloid.

She breathed a sigh of relief. It wasn’t usual for her to get attached to cases. But she’d actually seen this patient and it was a child. She’d have been lying if she said she wasn’t hoping to find nothing. That, and she bet Johanna would also be pleased.

Foregoing her usual etiquette of not leaving her lab unless something urgent was going on, Kaisa turned off her microscope and began the path down to the paediatrics clinic. The fact that it was a cyst didn’t erase that it had been big enough to bother the patient, and that there had been small calcifications on the ultrasound. She supposed that could be a remnant of past inflammation on that area; she definitely wouldn’t know, since nobody had given her the patient’s history as per usual (though this time she wouldn’t admit it was Johanna’s fault as preferred to blame the universe for it).

Johanna would probably have to sit down with an endocrinologist to decide which would be the best course of action. Kaisa had heard that ethanol ablation [8] worked well for some of these cases, it would likely be a better option than having the kid undergo surgery. Even if that would mean having to work with Lloyd again for the procedures. Either way, whatever it was, and whatever would need to be done, it wasn’t cancer. And that was reason enough to brave the packed full corridors of the lowermost floor of the hospital to deliver the news herself.

The paediatrics clinic was by far the loudest one in the hospital. Not because of the poor children (though there was a fair bit of crying and screaming going around), but because of parents. Kaisa still remembered with terror her paediatrics rotations from her time in med school. One of them had almost made her cry.

At least the structure was uplifting, seeing as the walls were covered in drawings and all the nurses in that area had white coats embroidered with fun patterns and the doctors had decorations on their stethoscopes. They all looked genuinely alive, which was more than could be said about the workers in any other area of the hospital, really. They had the kindness of palliative care workers and the energy of emergency room physicians; Kaisa couldn’t feel more out of place if she tried.

Luckily, it didn’t take her long until she found the room in which Johanna was consulting. The door was open, so Kaisa could see her give the young girl sitting on stretcher a lollipop, meaning she was probably done there. After five minutes and a couple of words exchanged with the parent (keeping the aspirin bottle where the kid couldn’t reach was of the highest importance, apparently. Kaisa really wanted to know what the story there was), the patient and the adult walked out hand in hand, and Kaisa nodded in acknowledgement to them before walking in.

“Hey, are you free right now?” She asked with just her head stuck inside the office, immediately startling Johanna, who had been rubbing a wet wipe on her stethoscope. Kaisa laughed while the other glared at her half heartedly, and she let herself in.

“Sorry for interrupting you in the middle of your work day, I just thought I should come talk to you personally.”

Johanna hummed, putting away a box filled with flavoured tongue depressors of every colour there was. “You do that a lot.” She remarked.

By then, Kaisa had been leaning her hip against the stretcher, but her balance hadn’t ever been all that so she nearly lost it (along with all her rational thought) when she heard that.

“I- what? I thought I didn’t interrupt all that much. I’m sorry, I’ll avoid-”

Halted by a whip of Johanna’s head in her direction, she blinked when she saw Johanna frowning at her with worry.

“No, dear, you never interrupt me.” She said softly. The endearment did something weird to Kaisa’s insides which she couldn’t really explain. What was an itch in the hypogastric region [9] a symptom of? “I mean you say sorry a lot. And it’s never warranted.”

Kaisa opened her mouth, to say sorry, obviously, but caught herself before she could. Which resulted in the likely pathetic image of her standing there with wide eyes and a hanging mouth. Noticing exactly what had happened, Johanna laughed, stepping closer to her.

“It’s always good to hear from you, Kaisa. Now, what did you want to tell me about?”

Shaking her head (maybe a good waggle of her synovial fluid would do her well. Yes. That made sense), Kaisa tried to remember why she’d come down to the clinics in the first place. Oh yeah. Thyroid cyst.

“You will be pleased to hear that you guys were wrong in your papillary suspicion.” She said and watched a grin spread on Johanna’s face. “No malignant cells in sight, lots of liquid. No clue what you’ll do about the symptoms, but lo and behold-” Kaisa made her silliest dramatic voice. The atmosphere of paediatrics was contagious, apparently. “It’s not cancer.”

“Oh, Kaisa!” Taking her completely by surprise, Johanna threw herself in her arms. She was pretty sure she actually yelped, but at least her reflexes didn’t let her down and she hugged her back instead of just standing there uselessly. Her heart took to beating embarrassingly quickly, and she really hoped Johanna wouldn’t feel it.

“That is such good news! I’ll phone the parents immediately, thank you so much!”

The noise Kaisa made was hopefully a hum of ascent. Heavens knew she couldn’t manage to actually say something as complex as ‘no problem’ at the moment, busy as her brain was just trying to process the scent of apple pie and the warm softness that came with having Johanna so close. So very close. Touching her.

When the woman drew back, it was so that she could look at Kaisa’s face (blushing, no doubt) and she still held her by the elbows. To say that Kaisa felt out of her element was un understatement. She let herself wonder, briefly, if the woman reacted like this to anyone who brought her good news about her patients. She quickly decided she didn’t want to know.

“I really have no words for how grateful I am for your commitment to this case, dear. You did a lot more than you had to.”

Kaisa emitted a sound she wasn’t aware she was capable of, like her airways were constricting around something that wasn’t there. Maybe she was asthmatic and just didn’t know.

“It’s nothing.” And the way Johanna’s face was so close she could see herself in her eyes was making her forget everything else so effectively that it might as well really be nothing. She had to make a herculean effort to focus on what they were talking about. “I’ll write you the report in a couple of minutes. Just thought I should let you know already.”

Humming in delight, Johanna proved her intentions of murdering Kaisa by leaning forward and placing a kiss on her cheek. “It was much appreciated. How can I repay you?”

It was a wonder that Johanna didn’t immediately admit her, because Kaisa was certain she must look like she was going into cardiac arrest. The place where her lips had met her skin tingled, to the point where she was immensely glad that Johanna was still close enough for them to be holding each other’s arms so that Kaisa couldn’t immediately take a hand to her face in disbelief.

There was no chance she was going to be able to answer that question like a normal human being. Her brain had just given her a minus two seconds notice and fucked right off. But Johanna was nothing if not merciful, apparently, and didn’t even let the silence stretch into awkwardness before suggesting something herself.

“I’ll tell you what, Hilda has exams next week so she’ll probably be studying the whole weekend. Since that means I’ll be free, why don’t we go to that park you mentioned the other day? We could both use some fresh air, I bet.”

Kaisa nodded dumbly; that was the extent of her reaction capabilities in that moment. The other doctor just smiled, and they managed to decide they’d settle the details later over the phone. It was all Kaisa could do to put some distance between herself and the paediatrics clinic before allowing herself to fully process what had happened and grin like a lunatic.

Well. It sure would be hard to focus on cells for the rest of the day. As unlikely as that was, she’d found something even more beautiful to fall in love with.

NUMBERED NOTES:

1- Colloid is the stuff that’s inside your thyroid follicles! It’s where the hormones are produced & stored  2- FNA = Fine Needle Aspiration. Basically what Kaisa said earlier, you use a needle to collect some material from the nodule  3- It means ‘cell’, btw! Not sure how common this knowledge is, but someone who went through med school would know it, I promise.  4- When an aspiration slide is hemorrhagic, that means that there is waaay too much blood and not enough of the stuff you actually want the pathologist to see. Means it’s useless, basically :/  5- MRSA stands for multiresistant Staphylococcus aureus! It is a. Very big problem. Hard to kill yk. 6- Meiri isn’t in this fic but if she were she’d remind Kaisa that ticks are NOT bugs. They’re arachnids :) 7- You can’t redo an FNA right away because the thyroid needs time to heal before you poke a needle through it again!  8- ok ok this is actually super interesting so hear me out. You can inject ethanol on benign thyroid cysts and that basically makes it dry out. You have to repeat the procedure maybe once or twice depending on its size, but the thing actually just. Shrinks. Just because you put alcohol in there. How cool is that??  9- This is the best way I found to convey butterflies in your belly when you’re a nerd and avoiding your feelings

[yeowangies]

Blood Stains

CHAPTER III: Delicate Unspeakable Lines

❧

PAIRING: Raditz/Reader RATING: Mature CONTENTS: Canon Divergence AU, Slow Burn, Eventual Smut, Enemies to Lovers. WARNINGS: Attempted Assault in this chapter, Drinking WORDCOUNT: 3506

Summary:

You realize he’s standing well within arm's reach. You’re not exactly drunk, but you’re obviously not sober either. And the experience from earlier has left your mind more than vulnerable for any kind of thought. So you can’t help but stare at Raditz right back, determinedly inspecting his face. He has a few tiny scratches from wherever he had been before crash landing at your place, and he’s still damn handsome.

Notes:

Please check the warnings.

I have a trigger warning for this chapter for attempted assault, it's some few very short paragraphs and I put the first word and last word in bold letters if anyone wants to skip them, you will still understand the story. And if you want to read them, it's nothing graphic

There's drinking involved in this chapter too, no one gets drunk, but just in case anyone is uncomfortable with that.

You can check the tag #*bs if you wanna see the previous chapters.

Dust and debris rain all over you, scratching your skin. You curse under your breath; Raditz blasted through the wall, again, and this time he left. Seemingly for good. 

You were positive he had warmed up to you, but apparently that wasn’t the case. And you’re not even sure what you’re supposed to do now. Piccolo was strong enough against Raditz when he was injured, but not now that he’s fully healed. And you don’t even know where Piccolo is to begin with. Maybe keeping Raditz alive was a mistake, you’re not sure he’s not going to hurt other people; but at the same time, you don’t actually regret having given him shelter. 

You’re just pissed. Why did he have to leave like that?

“So, he’s gone?” Bulma’s voice brings you back to reality as you try to get up. She holds your hand, helping you up as you dust off the dirt of your clothes. “I don’t think you wanna hear an ‘I told you so’.”

“You’re right, I don’t.”

“Well, we don’t always get what we want. He’s dangerous and he’s out now, I warned you about this!”

“I know! I didn’t want him to leave either…”

“Especially because you didn’t get to fuck him.” Bulma says in a disdainful tone.

“What did you say?!”

“This wouldn’t have happened if you hadn't been so damn selfish!”

“You have some nerve! Do you really wanna talk about being selfish? You, of all people?”

“What does that mean?!”

“It means you break up with Yamcha whenever he says he wants to focus on his training, and instead of supporting him you get pissy, thinking that he’s cheating on you!”

“What does that have to do with anything?!” Bulma yells, visibly furious as her brows furrow as deep as possible. 

“It also means you not even calling Chichi to tell her that her husband is dead and her son has been kidnapped!”

“You’re a hypocrite, you didn’t do that either, if I remember correctly!”

“I wasn’t even there!”

“Because you were taking care of Raditz! Just because he looked at you like any man would! Talk about being selfish!”

“That’s… only half true!”

“Oh yeah? Like you haven’t been trying to get into his pants this whole time?!”

“That’s not-”

“And he didn’t even give you the time of day! Because he realized quickly how boring you are!”

You can’t help yourself when you slap her across the face, surprising yourself and Bulma as well. She looks stunned before she growls angrily, attempting to slap you right back but you notice it from a mile away, grabbing her wrist just in time. 

“You bitch!” She yells with tears in her eyes. 

“I’m the bitch after all you said?” You step back, staring at her for a moment before turning around to gather your things. “Don’t worry, I’m leaving now.”

Bulma is looking at you with anger as you walk out the room, dusting off your clothes on the way out. 

This is the last thing you expected to happen, even when you knew Raditz would leave, sooner or later. You were hoping it would be later than sooner, but it was only a matter of time until he completely healed. But you should have known, Goku also had moments when he healed abnormally fast. 

The argument with Bulma had caught you off guard, but you were pissed. And she has always been insensitive. 

Upset, angry and sad all at once, you decide to just stay at your apartment. If Raditz does something like kill an entire city or something, it for certain will show up on TV anyway. If that happens… you’re not sure what you can do anyway. 

Surprisingly though, as the days go by, nothing happens. You were positive Raditz would be breaking havoc by now. You wonder what he’s up to, if he’s ok and where he is. Of course he would be ok, he’s technically the most powerful being on the planet currently (shivers travel up your spine when you think about it), and his injuries were all healed too. So what is he doing?

After a week, you convince yourself to go to Capsule Corp. and apologize to Bulma so she can help you find Raditz, she has his scouter after all; but as you stand in front of the entrance gate, you change your mind. You don’t feel like apologizing just yet, not after everything she said (some of the things she said were true but they she said didn't sit right with you yet). She’s for sure going to check the security cameras and see that you were there anyway, so you turn around to leave. 

Before going back to your apartment, you stop for groceries, and it’s already dark by the time you head home. You double check your surroundings as a habit, and a few blocks away from your place, you feel someone following you. You’re not sure, but you can sense they’re just trailing after you. You panic momentarily, before grabbing your keys in your hands, just in case. 

Everything happens so fast, you barely have time to register as the stranger who was behind you abruptly pushes you into an alley, leaving you momentarily out of breath. A large man dressed in black pushes your back against the wall, and you yelp, letting your bags fall to the floor. Instinctively, you jam your keys against his face. Hard.

“Let go of me!” You yell, struggling to get free.

Your attacker doesn’t let up, only groaning in pain when you push your keys into his face. Pushing your hand away, he holds your shoulders hard, and you scream as loud as you can, slapping and clawing at his face.

“You fucking bitch, stay still!”

You keep screaming in anger, yanking at his hair and kicking your legs, despite the fact that he’s a lot stronger than you, and you’re not exactly doing any damage. His fist draws back, ready to hit you in the face, and you close your eyes, expecting the blow. 

It never comes, and when you open your eyes, you’re shocked to see Raditz standing right beside your attacker, holding his arm in place. He effortlessly yanks him off you with one hand, throwing him to the floor. The alley is dark until your eyes adjust to it, but you had never seen Raditz look so menacing before, not even when he first arrived at Kame House. 

When you see that he’s lifting his fist, getting ready to punch your assailant in the face, you grab his arm.

“Raditz, no! Let him go.”

He growls, deep from his chest, and his arm shakes in your hold before he lowers it, yanking your hand away. 

“Get lost before I rip off your intestines.” Raditz says, and the man looks terrified, obviously seeing the same threatening aura around him than you.

Your attacker runs away, and the adrenaline you felt a moment ago starts to subside, making you shake. You kneel on the ground, panting and closing your eyes tight. Your thoughts are jumbled up, feeling upset, angry, surprised all together. 

Raditz is still standing there with his eyes on you, but he remains still. 

“What are you doing here?” You ask him after an eternity of silence that was probably only a couple of minutes; he doesn’t answer. 

The cool air hits your face as you stand up and you notice that you’re crying, a few tears streaming down your face. He’s looking at you, stoic, as you wipe them off with your sleeve before gathering the few items that are somehow still intact even after you had dropped them so abruptly. 

“What have you done to me?” Raditz suddenly asks, and you turn to him with a frown.

“Huh?”

“I wouldn’t have even flinched before, under any other circumstance.” His brows are furrowed, and you notice his tail, tightly wrapped around his waist, bristling. “But I couldn’t…”

Confused, you stare at him for a minute. He’s gazing right back at you with dark angry eyes. You’re not entirely sure what he’s trying to imply, whether what he’s saying is something positive or not, but you’re too on edge to feel the need to engage in this conversation right now.

“Are you seriously telling me all this now?” Raditz doesn’t reply and you take the sight of him in, noticing that he’s dirty and his clothes are torn, with a few scratches on every visible part of skin. “What happened to you?”

He shrugs, and you don’t press for more answers. 

“Come with me, I’ll give you new clothes.”

He wordlessly follows you, taking one of the bags from your hands when you notice a couple of your nails have broken, and you’re bleeding a bit. You curse under your breath, and head back to your apartment with Raditz trailing behind you. 

He looks around when you open the door to your place, letting him in before locking it. 

“You stink,” You tell him, having felt his scent closely when you were in the elevator. “When was the last time you showered?”

“When I left your friend’s house.”

“You haven’t showered in over a week?!”

“There aren’t showers in the wild.”

“Fine… You can take a shower here, I’ll wash your clothes too.”

You get things ready for him, leaving out shampoo and a towel, along with fresh clothes before you basically push him towards the shower, frantic to get rid of the smell he has on him. 

After you order pizza for the both of you, you clean your hand, getting rid of blood on it and fixing your nails as best as you can. The incident left your mind rattled and your hand is shaking slightly. 

You don’t even notice that Raditz has already come out of the bathroom, wearing the clothes you left for him, until he grabs your hand to check out the small wounds on it. You jump in surprise but let him to as he pleases. 

“You’ll live.” He says with a smirk, and you snort.

“Yeah, well, that jerk owns me a manicure.”

“You fought well.” He lets go of your hand and sits across the table, in front of you. The clothes you gave him are from an ex boyfriend, and they don’t look that good on him; they’re clearly not his size, and everything seems too tight. 

“I hardly would call that a fight.”

“Whatever, you defended yourself and did a good job.”

You don’t answer as you get up to look for a drink.

“Do you drink alcohol?”

“Sure. What do you drink on this planet?”

You bring a couple of glasses and a bottle of wine, pouring some for the both of you. 

“This is wine. If you don’t like it, I have other drinks.”

You watch Raditz smell the glass like a sommelier would before he takes a sip, and nods. You smile, amused and happy, taking a long sip of your own.

“Is there alcohol in space?”

“Of course there is. Believe it or not, not all planets are that different from one another.”

“Really? Do they have trees, water, a moon and a sun?”

“Most of them do. Moons are not as common, sometimes there aren’t any, sometimes there are more than one.”

“That’s cool.” You look him over for a second, taking another sip. “I never thought aliens would look similar to us… Then again, I guess I’m an alien too.”

“To me, you are.” Raditz smirks before swallowing down the entire glass. “Most species have the same features, though.”

“Really?”

“Yes, as in, they have a head and arms and legs.”

“Well, I suppose that’s similar enough.” You chuckle. 

There’s a moment of silence as you fill both of your glasses again, and take a gulp out of your own. 

“Yours is the most similar to ours.” Raditz comments, looking around your kitchen briefly before landing his eyes on you. “There aren’t many species that look like us.”

“Didn’t you just say-”

“Having arms and legs doesn’t mean we are similar. There’s a reason why Kakarot could pass off as human on this planet. The skin tone of your species is as diverse yet exactly like ours.”

“I suppose… the tail is what tells you apart.”

“Our strength, too.”

“Yeah, I guess…”

Raditz opens his mouth to speak but closes it again. Whatever he wants to say dies in his throat, and you let it go, drinking more of the wine in your glass. 

“The structure of your species…” He says, catching your attention. “That’s also different.”

“What do you mean?”

“We didn’t always stay together like you humans seem to do. We mate but that doesn’t mean more than what it is.”

“You mean… you have sex just for fun, not to procreate?”

“Yes.”

“We do that too.” You chuckle. “Too often, actually.”

“I’ve seen you go around in couples, or in groups.” He arches an eyebrow, questioningly. 

“Well, yeah. We have friends and families, and sometimes we date too. But not always.”

“Date?”

“You know, like… have sex exclusively with one person? And have a romantic bond and all.”

Raditz lets your words sink in as he drinks the rest of his glass at once. You watch him, intrigued by everything he’s telling, and what he’s not telling you as well. He seems curious about your culture, however, so you don’t mind this conversation. 

“Have you dated?” He suddenly asks. 

“Of course.”

“Are you dating right now?”

“No, I haven’t dated anyone in a while.” You snicker, pouring more wine on both of your glasses. You have to get a new bottle for the next round. “Do you Saiyans date, too?”

“No. Most of us didn’t, anyway. We rarely stuck to one person.”

“So, what? You have sex with anyone, no matter what?”

“I wouldn’t put it like that, but sure.” He smirks.

The doorbell interrupts whatever you’re going to say next, and you quickly get up, knowing that it’s the pizzas you ordered. 

“What’s this?” He asks when you open one of the boxes. 

“It’s pizza. It’s really good, you’re gonna like it. I bought six, because I know you eat like crazy.”

Raditz takes a piece in his hand, staring at the cheese that practically drips down before he shoves the entire slice into his mouth. You stare at him with amusement as he starts gulping down slice after slice.

“You like it?” You ask sarcastically. He grunts in agreement. 

You eat slowly, even more so when you notice your hand is still shaking a little; you don’t want to drop a perfectly good slice of pizza. You tried to sort out some of your thoughts, currently all jammed up in your head. The fact that Raditz is currently sitting at your table seems funny enough, you thought you would never see him after he left Capsule Corp. like that. That he showed up out of the blue in the middle of an alley when a man was attacking you was even stranger. 

“How did you find me?” You ask him when he was almost done swallowing the last slice of pizza. 

Raditz flicks his eyes towards you briefly as he takes a large gulp of wine. 

“I got used to your… energy when I was at your friend’s house.” He looks deep in thought for a second before he goes on. “I went looking for you there at first, but I couldn’t feel you until I started to fly off.”

So, he’s learning how to read and feel other people’s ki. Makes sense that he would, since he doesn’t have his scouter. 

“Why were you looking for me?”

He stares at you for a while, and doesn’t answer in the end. You don’t feel like dragging it out of him, so you let it go.

“Thank you for saving me, by the way.” You say, realizing you haven’t really thanked him. 

Raditz keeps staring at you, and you’re starting to feel a little self conscious after a while.

“Are you going to eat that?” He asks, pointing to the one pizza left, the one you ate only two slices from. 

“No, I don’t think I can eat all that.” You laugh. 

“Eat.” He says sharply. 

You breathe in deeply before taking another slice. You’re not actually that hungry; if you were, you would eat more than two slices. His gaze is fixed on you even as you munch, and you feel more uncomfortable the more he stares. He notices your hand trembling, and you don’t try to hide it.

It only takes a few seconds for tears to well up in your eyes once more, and you try to keep them at bay but you can only do so for so long until they start spilling out of your eyes. 

“Why are you crying?” Raditz asks flatly. 

“If-If you hadn’t shown, he…” You stutter, wiping off your eyes with a napkin. 

“I know what he would have done.” His muscles tense and his jaw clenches when you look at him. “You should have let me rip his head off.”

“I probably should have.” You say with a small laugh. “Why are you here?”

He looks away from you, still very much on edge. You get up to pick up the empty pizza boxes, putting them to the side to dispose of them later. You clean your nose before turning to sit by the table again, but you almost collide with Raditz’s massive body. 

“God, you scared me!” 

“I thought you weren’t afraid of me.” He chuckles.

“I’m not, but I didn’t feel you when you got behind me.”

“You’re a strange woman,” He says, with a smirk on his face. “You get rattled over an incident like before, but you’re not scared of me, a very real threat to you right now.”

“It’s different. I know you won’t hurt me.”

“How do you know?”

“You would have done so already. Besides, you… saved me earlier.”

Raditz’s smirk flattens as he stares down at you. 

You realize he’s standing well within arm's reach. You’re not exactly drunk, but you’re obviously not sober either. And the experience from earlier has left your mind more than vulnerable for any kind of thought. So you can’t help but stare at Raditz right back, determinedly inspecting his face. He has a few tiny scratches from wherever he had been before crash landing at your place, and he’s still damn handsome. You focus way too long on his lips, wondering what it would be like to kiss him. Is his skin soft to touch? You doubt they have moisturizer in space, and you doubt it’s even a priority for what are basically space pirates. 

The moment passes way too quickly (or way too slow, you can’t really tell).

Taking a step back, Raditz moves to let you walk to the table to drink more wine, though his eyes don’t leave you.

“I must look very sexy right now.” You comment sarcastically, feeling slightly nervous about whatever just happened (even if it seemingly just happened in your head). He laughs, to your surprise, and you turn to him with a raised eyebrow. “You’re supposed to say that I do!”

“Now, why would I lie to you like that?” He grins.

“Excuse me?” You look at him with wide eyes. “You’re such a jerk!”

Raditz laughs again at your face, and you playfully slap his arm. 

“How dare you! After I feed you and everything, you say something like that to me! You’re getting too comfortable here…” You scoff, blushing slightly the more he laughs. He chuckles, keeping his eyes on your face. “...What?”

“Nothing.” He says with a grin, making you glare at him. 

You look away after a second, feeling too embarrassed and tempted to kiss him. Whatever you feel hanging in the air seems too delicate, like if you were to overstep any unspeakable lines would somehow make everything disappear. 

“I’m leaving.” Raditz says, bringing you back to the present.

“Don’t you wanna stay? I… I have a comfortable couch, even though you’re so tall.”

“No, I’m leaving.” He looks you over with a smile before turning around. 

“Hold on, mister, you’re not thinking of blasting through the wall again, are you?”

“Am I not supposed to?” He chuckles, and you roll your eyes.

“I have a balcony, you can fly from there.” You grab his wrist to make him follow you to the balcony, and you open the door to let him out. “I hope you’re behaving, I don’t even know what you’ve been doing.”

“You didn’t ask.” He smirks, turning to you briefly. 

“I ask you a bunch of questions you didn’t answer!”

“I suppose you did ask. I must not want to answer then.”

Before you can respond, Raditz flies off the balcony, wind making your hair disheveled. You huff, staring at the dot in the sky that’s him until you can no longer see him.

[just-absolutely-super]

#JustLanHikariThings

a few of my favorite Lan things (gameverse)

General:

The way this kid gave 0 fucks about fighting off evil organizations that could KILL people. Even impulse control Megaman is just like, “Yeah Lan let’s show them who’s boss!”

His response to anyone doing bad things is essentially, “You’re a terrible person and I’m gonna stop you.” And then he stops them!

Literally oversleeping like every day despite Megaman literally yelling at him to wake up (king tbh)

Trespasses practically everywhere because his loved ones were put in harm’s way and anyone who messes with Lan Hikari’s loved ones will catch MEGA’S HANDS

Chaud in almost every BN game: Stay in your lane and let the Officials handle this

Lan: How about I don’t?

MMBN:

Literally decided to take on a crime syndicate without an official NetBattler license because fuck you it’s the right thing to do!

Fought off actual flames coming out of his oven with a squirt gun

Stole his dad’s government ID so he can have access to the water plant in order to confront said crime syndicate

He reformed Higsby just by telling him joining WWW for rare battlechips was dumb

Got freaking electrocuted trying to pull down a lever so Elecman would quit healing himself

After finding out his dead twin was really his Navi all along his first response is to apologize to Megaman for bossing him around for literal years

Mayl essentially tells him she has a crush on him and the poor oblivious boy is just absolutely DUMBFOUNDED

After Wiley told him that Lan’s grandpa beat him in a science contest so now he wants to kill everyone Lan basically called his shitty motive out and said Wiley’s loss wasn’t his family’s fault

MMBN2:

Practically failing a semester (or at most has a C average) except for Virus Busting (THIS KID BECOMES A SCIENTIST WHEN HE GROWS UP)

He wanted to research a different country and get a penpal from said country on the grounds that he wanted to eat their food (KING TBH)

Fought off a swarm of bees with a stick, a newspaper, and a lighter with 0 help from his friends

His first time overseas and he gets mugged....3 times

Keeps saying Mayl is “just a friend” but will have romantic dreams about her

Volunteered to captured a poisonous spider with 0 hesitation because he’s Lan Fucking Hikari

Freestyle rapped in order to get whiskey...yes really

Easily convinced his dad to let him go to a town with lethally high levels of radiation to take down a mafia because fuck you he’s Lan Hikari and this is the right thing to do

Managed to survive 100k radiation

Used the power of brotherly love to operate Megaman with his heart

MMBN3:

STOLE THE KEY TO BREAK INTO HIS SCHOOL (it was to make sure Dex didn’t fail his homework but still the AUDACITY)

Fucking Y E E T S his navi like a fucking POKEBALL at a man

He’s apparently good at calligraphy???

Falls for the, “Hey look over there!” trick

Jumps from a 2nd story window into the ocean in order to reach a hospital’s basement because he’s Lan Fucking Hikari

Caught a condor to return to the zoo

Calls Megaman out for being reckless on obtaining the GigFreeze even though the entire list proves that this gremlin has no room to talk

Gets gunned down by a tank with a built in machine gun and just...side steps it so he can jack into it

FUCKING KICKED A STATUE OF WILY OFF A LEDGE I FUCKING STAN HIM

MMBN4:

Can’t enter an area because it’s not open to the public? TRIES TO HAVE HIS NAVI BLAST IT OPEN!

An employee from said area shows up? HAVE YOUR NAVI KICK HIS ASS THEN TAKE HIS ACCESS CODE

NetBattled a gang because his new punk friend needed help

Gets involved with a mafia….again…

GETS HIMSELF FUCKING KIDNAPPED LAN NEVER GO TO NETOPIA EVER AGAIN

Got goaded into putting his hand in some wall relic thing’s mouth (with a slight risk it’ll be bit off) in order to prove he wasn’t lying about being in a tournament

Had Mega take on a soccer (I’m sorry, “footbomb”) challenge because some rando trash talked them

Swore revenge on an actual military official because he punched Lan in the stomach

CONVINCED AN ACTUAL MILITARY BASE TO LET HIM--AN ACTUAL 12 YEAR OLD--TAKE ON AN ACTUAL MILITARY MISSION

Insulted a master chef by saying his mom’s curry was better

ACCEPTED A CURRY COOKING CHALLENGE EVEN THOUGH HE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO MAKE CURRY

WON SAID CURRY COMPETITION BY USING LOVE AS A SECRET INGREDIENT

KNOCKED THE FUCKING MAYOR ASIDE WHEN HE GOT IN HIS WAY BECAUSE HE HAD TO STOP AN ECOTERRORISM PLAN AND THAT’S HOW LAN FUCKING HIKARI ROLLS

Had Megaman get some cyber beer and cyber jerky so they could learn how to break rocks...I wish I was making this up

Braved a blizzard and almost froze to death so he could stop some asshole from freezing the entire earth (and this ISN’T PART OF THE GAME’S ACTUAL VILLAIN’S PLOT! THE GUY WAS LITERALLY JUST BEING AN ASSHOLE BECAUSE HE WAS HOT!)

MMBN5:

Literally kept the fact he’s a part of the NetAvengers a secret from his mom and friends until almost the last minute, which wasn’t very hard apparently

Like deliberately disobeyed his mom about being safe because if you think Lan Fucking Hikari isn’t going to find a way to save his own dad you got another thing coming

Was initially refusing to listen to Dusk’s demands to show off his and Mega’s battle capabilities, but agreed after he was called a wimp

Called the actual family dog ugly fdjksfldjs

Took down 100 dummy samurais so he could bypass a castle’s security system

Unfortunately not a whole lot of other moments but that’s because Lan’s chaotic nature is challenged by his equally chaotic teammates:

#JustTeamProtomanThings

Chaud fakes an attack on SciLab so he can see if Lan has what it takes to be part of the NetAvengers (because saving the world 4 times just doesn’t really cut it I guess...)

Tesla literally almost killed 3 children because she was stressed and thought drilling in an abandoned mine would do the trick

Charlie decides to cause problems on purpose just to test Lan’s capabilities and CHAUD WAS IN ON IT

Charlie also took out Nebula’s evil server thing but decided to attack Lan and Mega anyway because he just really wanted a rematch I guess

Fyrefox almost got away with theft because he just REALLY wanted his fireworks business to thrive okay?

Jasmine said fuck your precautions I’m going to the Undernet and there’s nothing anyone can do about it!

She also continues to say fuck authority, and if Lan won’t have the balls to go after Nebula then she and Meddy will!

#JustTeamColonelThings

Baryl--like Chaud--fakes an attack on Scilab to test lan and the entire time Lan is just like WHO ARE YOU?

Dusk also causes problems on purpose for the sake of testing Lan but he’s an assassin so that kinda makes sense for him

Ribitta goes to the Undernet because SHE NEEDS TO MAKE A KILLER NEWS STORY LAN THINK OF HER CAREER LAN

Goes to the Undernet again because dammit Lan if you won’t be a leader and avenge Colonel then SHE WILL

MMBN6:

Was prepared to fight off 5 security bots when they wouldn’t let him into his new school

Was willing to take on those same security bots who were burning the entire school down because this isn’t Lan Fucking Hikari’s first rodeo

Considered that an actual penguin could be a pelican...

Would have jumped into a pool full of jellyfish had impulse control Megaman not stopped him

Almost got fucking TAZED because he was yelling and touching a tree (IT MAKES SENSE IN CONTEXT....KINDA)

Sleeps in class when there are security cameras watching him (THIS KID BECOMES A SCIENTIST WHEN HE GROWS UP)

Tried to pull a Mary Poppins with an umbrella to jump down a tall ledge...the umbrella broke

Basically took an assassination class... (Gregor version)

Nearly threw hands with the mayor (he had it coming tho)

Took down a NetMafia...again (request post-game; but for real how does this keep happening to him???)

Put off leaving a building that was about to blow up because he was reforming the franchise’s long running villain

REFORMS THE FRANCHISE’S LONG RUNNING VILLAIN BY CONVINCING HIM THAT THERE REALLY WAS STILL GOOD IN HIM AND HE COULD BE A GOOD SCIENTIST AGAIN THIS ABSOLUTE PURE CHILD

Other:

Decides to investigate a bad vaccine after his dad tells him to stay put because sorry dad I’m Lan Fucking Hikari and this is the right thing to do! (Network Transmission)

Saved the Waterworks plant from Iceman (again) not just because it’s the right thing to do but because if he didn’t he would get any dinner that night (Network Transmission)

BEAT UP A GROWN ASS MAN (Battle Chip Challenge (his route))

Okay this kid does all this bullshit but the one thing that knocks him down is the fucking common cold (Battle Chip Challenge (Mayl’s route))

Lied about WWW stragglers being at the BattleChipGP to impress his #1 fan and when that proved to be true he tried playing it off that he knew all along before Megaman outs him (Battle Chip Challenge (Kai’s route))

Literally calls a powerful being from space an “Arm Navi” and when corrected he tells it to shut up (Operate Shooting Star)

Becomes a memetic badass 200 years into the future (Operate Shooting Star) including but hopefully not limited to things such as:

having an IQ of 300

Being efficient in every sport (soccer in particular)

Making goals in soccer against 11 players (presumably single-handedly)

has a signature move called a LanPunch and it’s never specified HOW THIS CAME ABOUT

Literally comes into Dex’s house uninvited with a strange boy from the future and jacks into a wall clock WITHOUT AN EXPLANATION TO DEX (Operate Shooting Star)

BEGAN THE PROCESS FOR HARNESSING THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP (Star Force Megaman 2)

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball GT 38

✨GT stands for Gastrointestinal Torture✨

✨Is this episode worse than “The Roaming Lake”?✨

Yes, this episode is automatically worse than “The Roaming Lake”, because this is the one where Goten and Trunks are about to fuse and Goku tells them not to.

  This is the dumbest thing this show has ever done.  Goten and Trunks haven’t done shit-all this entire series.  Everyone just wanted to see Adult Gotenks, and this piece-of-crap anime refused to deliver.  Well, you know what, Dragon Ball GT?  We don’t need your broken promises anymore!   This is the 21st century!  And we have Dragon Ball Heroes. 

Look at this.  Look at this.  GT Gotenks.  You love to see it.

  Am I overreacting?  I don’t think I am.  They put Gotenks in Battle of Gods, Dragon Ball Super and DBS Super Hero.  He didn’t even do that much in any of those shows, but they still put him in there because the people love Gotenks, and they just like to see how he’s doin’. 

But not GT!  Noooooo.  The people making GT heard fans asking “Please sir, might you favor us with a crumb of Gotenks?” and they were like “Bleah, bleah!  No Gotenks for anyone!  Bleah!”

“The Roaming Lake” is a lot of things.  Stupid, yes.  Boring, certainly.  But it’s not a liar.  Nam was trying to get water for his village and dammit, they got some water.

  We all know the REAL Goku wouldn’t turn down some Gotenks action.  He’s the one who taught Goten and Trunks how to do it. He would have been like, “Yeah, boys, do some fusion, this is gonna kick ass!”  And then SSJ3 Gotenks would have busted out Stardust Breaker and one-shotted Baby.  Then Vegeta would have woken up and said “No, I can’t be satisfied with this victory, not until Kakarot and I fuse so we can face our sons in awesome fusion battle, men-to-men.”  And then it would have been Gotenks vs. Gogeta in a heartwarming father-son match on Planet Vegeta. 

✨ “Good” “Ideas”, Poorly Executed✨

All right, let me back up and provide some context for this travesty. 

So Baby and Goku were both knocked out last episode, but Baby got a reviving dose of Blutz waves from Bulma, while Goku is running on fumes.  Kibitoshin is arranging support for him, but they aren’t ready yet.  So Baby starts teeing of on Goku, because, hey, it’s a free shot. It’s like when you have Goten and Trunks in your anime, and you know you could just have them fuse into Gotenks whenever you want.  Why would you hold back?  Sorry, I’m getting off-track.

Anyway, Pan rushes into defend her grandfather, and it’s a pretty heroic scene, but Kozo Morishita said Pan can’t have a hero moment, so Baby just smacks her down again.  You know, they really should have turned Pan Super Saiyan, if only to justify her getting clobbered by Baby without getting seriously hurt.   It’s just such an obvious thing to do, like having Gotenks in your show... Oh, I’m doing it again, aren’t I?

So Baby moves into finish off Pan, because apparently he can trade blows with a Super Saiyan 4, but he needs multiple tries to kill a base-form Saiyan child.  Then Goku tries to hold him at bay, but Baby knows he’s helpless, so he just keeps going, until...

Trunks shows up to make the save.  Cool!  I don’t know why his ki blast could stop Baby, but SSJ4 Goku’s couldn’t, but at least he got here in time.   Trunks turns Super Saiyan, and tries to fight Baby by himself, but he gets nowhere.  This uppercut he delivers looks cool, but it doesn’t actually hurt Baby at all.

  Baby then tells Trunks that he’s currently inhabiting Vegeta’s body, which is weird because I thought Trunks already knew this.  I mean, it’s kind of unclear whether people remember what they did while they were under Baby’s control, but Trunks found out about Baby possessing Vegeta before he got Tuffleized.  Where else would Baby have gotten a Super Saiyan Oozaru to ride around in?

Then Goten, Gohan, and Kibitoshin arrive and rescue Trunks, and they all regroup to discuss their strategy.  And this is where Goten and Trunks propose fusion, but Goku insists that it won’t work, even if they all attack at once.  So what should they do, then?

Well, this, basically.  Goku wants the boys to turn Super Saiyan and give him their power.  This will restore him to full strength, and since he’s a Super Saiyan 4, he’ll have what it takes to defeat Baby once and for all. 

All right, so let me deconstruct this idea, because I hate it so, so, much.

  I don’t claim to understand power scaling.  But I’ve never been able to comprehend how characters pooling their power into one teammate is better than just fighting together as a group.  I had the same grip with the Broly movie, which is probably where this episode got the idea from, although we also see a similar trick used in the Lord Slug movie, and Baby used it a few episodes back when he had these same guys working for him.

The idea seems to be that Super Saiyan 4 Goku can somehow use that power more effectively than the others can individually, but I have a hard time buying that.  Maybe there’s some sort of stacking effect, where Goku can get more out of the same amount of ki energy.  Hey, you know what else has a stacking effect?  Fusion.

So even if this is the best play, wouldn’t it make a lot of sense for Goten and Trunks to fuse, and then stand around Goku and give him Super Saiyan power?  At least that way, if Baby tried to stop them, Gotenks would be in a better position to run interference. 

Also, why is Kibitoshin just standing around watching this?  He has healing powers, even if the Elder Kai claimed that they wouldn’t be sufficient to restore Goku’s strength.  So why doesn’t he put that to the test?  Even if he can only get Goku a quarter of the way to where he needs to be, that’s still better than nothing. 

Or even if Kibitoshin knows that wouldn’t work, why didn’t he grab some senzu beans on the way here?  Or he could have brought Dende along and they could have both healed Goku in some sort of kinky three-way healing session. 

I’ll admit that I’m splitting hairs here.  It’s just a cartoon, and it really doesn’t matter how they get Goku across the finish line, but it really makes me nutty how Toei seemed to go out of their way to arrange this bullshit. Like, there’s so many other options on the table, many of them involving Super Saiyan Pan and Adult GT Gotenks, but instead they went with this:

STANDING AROUND.  That’s the big technique we’re going to use to beat the bad guy.  Just standing around in the open, hoping he doesn’t kill us.

And Baby is actually surprisingly accommodating.  Sure, he tries to kill them before they can re-energize Goku, but he was sporting enough to stand perfectly still while they talked about it. Eventually he attacks, but Goku distracts him with a Solar Flare, and then, when Baby tries to attack again, he doubles over in pain.  What happened to him?  Well he came down with a case of...

✨Positivity Page✨

Uub! Yeah, Baby thought he had defeated Uub before, when he turned Uub’s own candy beam back on him, but when he picked up the chocolate Uub and ate it, he made a fatal mistake.  Uub was counting on getting swallowed, and he figured he could do more damage to Baby from the inside.  Pretty clever!

Although, it kind of makes you wonder why he waited so long to make his move.  Uub got swallowed way back in Episode 33.  He can apparently change back into a human at will, but why didn’t he attack earlier?  If he’d done this before, when Baby was taking potshots at the Earth, he and Goku probably could have won this thing already.

Then again, it doesn’t work for very long, and Baby manages to spit Uub out, so maybe it was never good for more than a momentary distraction.  Baby finally manages to attack the Saiyan contingent, and for a moment it looks like he won.  Horrified that Pan has been killed, Mr. Satan dares Baby to kill him too, but then...

Goku reveals that he and Pan are fine.  Everything worked, and he’s back to full strength.  Maybe he’s stronger than he was when he first transformed, actually, since he had taken quite a beating before that.   Anyway, Baby’s back to square one. 

Goku declares that it’s time “we both got serious.”  Past time, if you asked me.  This whole fight has been one big boondoggle.  It’s not even that long, but it sucks so much ass that it feels like it’s taken forever.

✨The Blade Braxton Memorial Haiku*✨

No time for Gotenks?

Bite your tongue, sir. He beat

Hitler, didn’t he?

[ocil91]

Chapter 3 Readthrough got a bit longer than intended. Putting it under readmore for the sake of anyone who doesn’t care about what I have to say. I’ll be tagging these going forward as ‘wha reading’, so if you don’t want to see these, blacklist that.

Also I’m going with the character names as they are in the translation I’m reading. If anyone knows the names used in official translations, feel free to tell me!

I’m glad we took a bit of time to talk about magic toilets. It was really the piece of the puzzle that this magical world needed to feel complete.

Stuff like the list of magic supplies where the panel borders are drawn like pieces of paper are the little details I really enjoy. I’ve also got a great appreciation for when parts of a scene are drawn with no panel border at all.

It’s also very funny at the Magic Wand is just a completely ordinary pen. Since all magic is drawn it makes sense that a totally normal pen would be a part of any aspiring Witch’s toolkit.

With the Sap Wand and the Magic Ink apparently being derived from sap, I’m expecting to see some suitably magical trees down the line.

I love Coco’s enthusiasm but she’s understandably overwhelmed.

Exposition on how magic runes work had to come sooner or later. I’m actually quite fond of how precise it requires you to be. As far as drawing your own runes goes, you need to be experienced. As for tracing existing runes... Well Coco has shown us what that looks like.

And her first successfully drawn rune just blasts Agete with water immediately. I can’t tell at this stage if Agete is genuinely understanding of Coco’s lack of knowledge or experience or just waiting to set her up for failure. Either way, Coco is definitely rubbing her the wrong way.

Agete taking the time to explain specifically what went wrong with the rune is super helpful. It feels like she’s actually trying to be helpful but there’s a nonzero chance she’s showing out for the Professor.

...And Qifrey dips out before the first lesson can even finish. Teacher of the year.

“The time for half-hearted studies is over.” THE TIME FOR HALF-HEARTED STUDIES DIDN’T EVEN BEGIN. WE GOT LIKE A QUARTER-HEARTED LESSON. AT BEST.

“Why bother building stairs if no one even uses them?” That’s a good question. It seems like perhaps this building was designed with the intention that decidedly non-magical people would be using it, which simply doesn’t happen in the current day.

It’s nice to meet you, Alaira! It’s worth noting that Alaira immediately refers to Qifrey as a problem child. Qifrey suspicion go up.

“The Brimmed Hat Group” It’s fun to possibly have a name to go with the mysterious witch that gave Coco a book of Forbidden Magic. Also it’s absolutely delightful that Witch factions are divided by Hat Type.

So the Test gets mentioned again. Seems like it’s dangerous and particularly so at this precise time of year. Certainly not the sort of thing you’d want to throw a complete and utter novice into.

That being said it seems that Agete’s plan is to do exactly that. Agete claims to have completed the test at the age of 10 which, even without knowing what the test is, is quite impressive.

So the test is to climb a mountain and get a flower from the top. Even if it were a normal mountain that would still be super dangerous. But I’m assuming it’s a Magic Mountain. I hope a sideways water spell will be more useful than it seems.

So you’re allowed to bring three Magical Items for the test specifically restricted to household use Magical Items. I hold nothing but respect for Coco’s desire to bring the toilet. I think that should be allowed.

Agete proves interesting again, letting Coco borrow her shoes for the test without much in the way of hesitation. BUT she’s also tossing Coco out into this test while being well aware that she only has like... ten minutes of formal training.

So you only get one chance and if you fail, then you lose your chance to become a Witch’s Disciple forever. That’s rough. Qifrey has referred to the others as disciples, so I suppose they’ve all taken the test already.

I was right. It’s a Magic Mountain.... Should’ve brought the toilet.

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: West Coast Avengers #26: What Is Scorpio?

November, 1987

ZODIAC ATTACK!

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh ZODIAC bluh

Maybe this time will be better. And slash or not as bad.

Its just they’re always so borrrring.

They’re a bunch of astrology obsessed crime bosses, why are they so boring? Or, wait, are they a bunch of LMDs who aren’t even life model decoying anyone because they’re dressed in silly costumes?

What’s the deal?

So last time in West Coast Avengers... uh, I don’t know that anything is relevant that I can’t just explain as I go. Let’s just say that at some recent point, Mockingbird killed someone who kind of deserved it but she didn’t tell Hawkeye because he wouldn’t agree.

Cancer: “All right! The room’s secure, and the full moon’s rising -- and Cancer rules this conjunction of the Zodiac Cartel!”

OH MY GOD YOU HUGE ASTROLOGY NERD.

Also, this conference room looks crowded. It makes me uncomfortable imagining having to sit at that table with all the elbow jostling.

So this issue starts with a lot of contextualizing that I actually really appreciate because what’s the deal with Zodiac? Sometimes they’re crimelords and sometimes they’re robots!

Thankfully, everyone is going to exposit about that until I sort of understand.

Cancer called this meeting to discuss the problem of LMDs.

The LMDs were created by the original Scorpio, Jake Fury, using the Zodiac Key. He wanted to make his own Zodiac group for the express purpose of killing Nick Fury because people that have to interact with Nick Fury tend to want to kill him. All those Christmases of Nick chomping a cigar and yelling ‘goldbricker’ at no one in particular. Terrible.

When the Defenders thwarted Jake Fury’s plan, he killed himself. SHIELD picked up the Zodiac Key and four of the LMDs. The Taurus LMD came after human guy Taurus but Iron Man wound up destroying the LMD. 

But then there was that whole Avengers/West Coast Avengers linked pair of annuals where Quicksilver showed up with a whole new team of Zodiac LMDs from who knows where. The Zodiac Cartel is worried about this because even though the Avengers captured this new LMD team, they escaped recently and are in the wild.

Taurus: “Well, I say we circle our wagons and be prepared for anything they may try!”

Scorpio, with an out-raaageous French accent: “I am veree afraid zat eet ees too late for zat, mon ami!”

Then Scorpio pulls off his mask to reveal... JACQUES LAPOINT! But then he pulls off his JACQUEST LAPOINT MASK TO REVEAL JAKE FURY OH NO!

AND HE BROUGHT A NEW TEAM OF LMD ZODIAC GODDAMMIT!

Cancer calls for guards but oops the All-New All-Different LMD Zodiac team killed all the guards.

And then they kill the whole Zodiac Cartel.

Wow, glad I didn’t bother to care about these guys.

Although... I don’t care about the Zodiac Cartel but... Libra is Mantis’ dad. It was a whole thing. You’d think it’d be more of a thing that he was just killed off. Especially since Steve Englehart is writing this and he’s the one who created Mantis and established all of her backstory and is using her in his Silver Surfer book.

It’s just weird that Libra is killed without fanfare. Apparently, more than ten years later, it’s going to be revealed he just faked his death. By ragdolling and holding really still, I guess.

Anyway, even counting Libra playing dead, the LMD Zodiac missed a spot. Taurus, Cornelius van Lunt, is alive and yells at Scorpio for destroying this astrology-enthusiast cartel he’d put his life into creating.

Scorpio claims he left Taurus alive on purpose, so he could kill him last. But Taurus dodges the blast from the Zodiac Key, falls through the damaged floor, and down into the mall below.

Wait. The Zodiac Cartel met in a secret conference room above a mall??

Scorpio chases after Taurus but Taurus manages to escape into the Houston Tunnels. Scorpio is reluctant to give chase because he’s worried the Marlboro Men will grab him. Iiiiii don’t know what that’s about. But point being, there’s a bull loose in a mall.

Also in the area, civvies Mockingbird is meeting an old SHIELD friend named Josyane to get the dirt on how Nick Fury is doing recently.

He’s still in a holding pattern of dealing with SHIELD internal issues because I think the Nick Fury vs SHIELD book was still delayed but the hints about what was coming have already been seeded so he’s just. Stuck in that pre-book state forever.

Josyane also has an outrageous French accent.

She asks Mockingbird if she wants to help Nick but Mockingbird says she wants to but Nick is a dumb idiot macho man and won’t accept her help because she’s an ‘outsider.’

Although, Mockingbird was really more interested in getting Nick to help her. She was hoping he’d have sorted out his shit by now so he’d have time to listen to her problems. She wants his spy advice because she had to lie to Hawkeye to his face about Phantom Rider.

Because of how she let him die for drugging her into being his girlfriend and how she doesn’t think Hawkeye will understand. But also she doesn’t like lying to him.

I guess she was hoping Nick Fury would tell her not to feel bad about it?

Mockingbird meets civvies Moon Knight and Hawkeye.

Moon Knight Marc Spector is giving Hawkeye a “crook’s eye tour of L.A.” since Moon Knight’s first case was infiltrating the L.A. underworld.

AND THAT is why Moon Knight’s first appearance was as a one-off Werewolf by Night villain who was hired to murder a werewolf. It was all part of him infiltrating werewolf hating crime.

Anyway, civvies Moon Knight Marc Spector means he’s appearing without his mask and he’s told the Avengers his name.

Mockingbird tells him he didn’t have to tell them his name. Avengers are allowed to have secret identities. Sure, none of the rest of the West Coast Avengers have a secret identity so it’d be awkward if Marc was the- well, actually, Iron Man probably won’t hang out without his mask around Marc. He only hangs out of armor because he knows and trusts the rest of the team.

ANYWAY.

Moon Knight: “Keeping secrets screwed up my life royally once! Besides, if we’re all Avengers, we need to be straight with each other!”

Mockingbird: “Well, we’re not all Avengers yet! You’re a provisional member, officially, until the rest of us vote otherwise!”

Moon Knight: “Oh sure, officially! But I’ll be accepted -- I’m certain of that!”

Hawkeye: “Good! A chairman likes to hear confidence in his troopers!”

Meanwhile, in Silicon Valley, Iron Man and Dr Pym in his floating self-aware ant airship have a little practice spare to polish up Hank’s skills so he can rejoin the team.

Which you just can tell Tony is super excited about. He wants to be on a superhero team with one of his oldest friends again! He’s felt so weird with Hank hanging around managing the Compound.

But as soon as they finish their spar and land what do you know its a bull market.

Wait. Uh... no I don’t have a better joke. Taurus is there with his Star-Blazer gun.

But even though he has a gun(?) pulled, he quickly says he’s not here to fight the Avengers. He needs their help.

I guess Iron Man and Dr Pym are intrigued by this because we see the rest of the team receiving a message from Iron Man telling them to meet at the West Coast Avengers Compound ASAP to meet “a very strange visitor.”

Mockingbird, Hawkeye, and Moon Knight are still cruising around town and swing the car around as soon as they get the message.

Adorably(?), Tigra is chasing a squirrel around. Not to eat. Just for enrichment reasons. I like to believe that specific squirrel is one of Squirrel Girl’s squirrel friends and this story got back to Squirrel Girl at one point and misled her for a while into thinking that Tigra could ALSO speak to squirrels.

Also, I think one of the decorative teeth(?) on her superhero panties are a communication device?

Last up to receive the alert is Simon Williams Wonder Man, who is in a meeting at a restaurant on the Sunshine Strip about a three picture movie deal. WITH a cut from the gross and script approval.

That’s what Simon is asking for but the people he’s meeting are reluctant to agree to it. Sure, Arkon IV has early buzz but its only just got released. How do they know that Simon is such a hot commodity.

But Simon gets the alert and takes off because he’s committed wholeheartedly to the Avengers.

He leaves his agent Mike behind to finish the deal and Mike points out, after Simon leaves, that Simon is totally going to be on the news tonight hint hint.

The movie men get the hint hint about a celebrity superhero movie actor getting free publicity and agree to the three picture deal.

Congrats, Simon!

Everyone arrives at the West Coast Avengers Compound and Taurus explains that the LMD Zodiac destroyed the Zodiac Cartel that he worked so hard for so dammit he wants the Avengers to help take them down.

Hawkeye is like yeah, no doubt we’ll do something about the LMDs but not for you, jerk.

And narrates for the Avengers who weren’t around at the time what a dick Cornelius van Lunt is.

Remember the time he hired the Avengers to work for him after putting money man Tony Stark in a bind? Insidious.

Okay, but also he and Zodiac built a giant Star-Blaster that would kill every Gemini in Manhattan. Because the Zodiac Cartel are astrology obsessed and also monsters.

Zodiac also messed with Rhodey Iron Man when Stark Industries or whatever was moving out to California.

Taurus: “I don’t deny it, Hawkeye! It was because of my recent encounter with Iron Man that I went to him for help! But the LMDs are a far greater foe! Unlike the human Zodiac members, who were chosen by their birth signs but were, like all humans, fully rounded -- the androids act precisely like their signs! They represent twelve pure forces! And yet -- that is also their greatest weakness!”

Taurus promises that he’ll use his astrology know how to help the Avengers figure out where the LMD Zodiac will strike.

Moon Knight raises the point, uh, then won’t you just go and create a new Zodiac Cartel after you use the Avengers to clear the competition? Doesn’t sound great for the heroes.

So Moon Knight uses his own astrology knowledge from his interest in the MOON. The Moon is, apparently, in Taurus right now. That’s significant, probably. Astrology. So Moon Knight tells Taurus to swear “by all you hold dear” that if the Avengers help him, he’ll go straight and never to crime again.

Taurus agrees but asks why Moon Knight would take him at his word if he does promise. Which the Avengers (West Coast) area also wondering. They might also be wondering why the provisional member is leading this interrogation. Overstepping a little, Moon Knight!

Moon Knight: “I’ll take his word because the Moon’s in Taurus -- and he and I both understand the power of the night sphere --!”

... Yup. That’s the answer I expected from Moon Knight who joined the Avengers because he thinks god wants him to.

Taurus: “Well, I’m a hard-headed businessman, Avenger, and I must confess, I’m a little disappointed that you’d base your decision on such ephemera as faith -- but as I say, I swear I’ll tread the straight and narrow if you destroy the LMDs!”

But

Taurus’ thoughts: What an idiot! These idealistic heroes will never understand the hard realities of life -- but perhaps they’ll learn a little something by how fast I recreate Zodiac once they’ve done my work for me!

Moon Knight is going to be so disappointed in him.

Anyway, Taurus predicts, based on the Moon being in Taurus and local events that would be tempting...

SCENE CUT TO THE LMD ZODIAC ATTACKING A BREEDER’S CATTLE AUCTION IN WHICHITA!

Huh. So. The Moon’s in Taurus so they’re pulling a cattle heist.

That should be endearingly goofy but yet I still hate Zodiac.

Scorpio kills one of the cattle with the Zodiac Key to establish that he can and will kill things with the Zodiac Key. Then he tells all the “good ol’ boys” to hand over all their bidding money. LMDs have expenses. Cartel rebuilding expenses.

See, if you hadn’t wiped out the whole Zodiac Cartel, you could have taken it over. That was shortsighted. You’d already infiltrated it as Scorpio, ya dingus.

Anyway, Avengers show up and assemble.

Iron Man and Wonder Man go right for Scorpio but he’s able to use the Zodiac Key to ward them off.

Wonder Man apparently still has a chip on his shoulder about Iron Man. So I guess that needs to be addressed eventually.

When Iron Man shoots a repulsor at Scorpio and the Zodiac Key blocks it:

Wonder Man: “I knew beams wouldn’t stop anything -- but now that I’m committed to the Avengers, I’m not going to worry about Iron Man’s mistakes! I’m just going to make sure the team comes out on top!”

I mean. Its a step in the right direction.

Because there’s a lot more Zodiac LMDs than there are Avengers, Zodiac is able, in many cases, to gang up on the Avengers.

Tigra gets to have a catfight with the Leo and Virgo LMDs. ‘Cause, see, she’s fighting a cat and a woman. The two things she is. Oh, the chaos of combat. You sure are random.

Tigra for her part tells Virgo to fuck off. She only wants to have a catfight with Leo.

Moon Knight fights.... uh... I guess Cancer. He has claws. But MK also muses that van Lunt steered (ha cattle pun) them right. But he would, wouldn’t he? His sudden, yet inevitable betrayal would only come after you finished the LMDs. Which Moon Knight even realizes, that it’d be dumb to trust van Lunt without further proof.

Pisces and... Aquarius attack Dr Hank Pym. Hank notes that some of the LMD designs have been changed.

Pisces: “With LMDs, human, you can always refine the essence toward greater purity!”

Aquarius: “Spoken like a Pisces -- .”

Dr Pym: “Well, speaking like a Pym, I’m refining my essence without rebuilding my body -- like this!”

And he pulls out a doohickey that redirects Aquarius’ gun blast to blast Pisces instead.

Hank’s pockets of holding sure are handy.

Hawkeye fights... LMD Taurus annnnnd Sagittarius. Firing a gas or some arrow at them, for some reason. Although, Vision has demonstrated that drugs sometimes work on mechanical lifeforms.

Libra and Gemini fight Mockingbird and try to flank her so she can’t use her pole on both of them. So she breaks the pole into two staves and bonks them. It’s basically her secret move to attach or detach her staves.

Iron Man has broken off from fighting Scorpio since Wonder Man has that covered and has used his repulsors to pin down Aries, Virgo, and Capricorn.

Tony references settling scores with Virgo since when they met in West Coast Avengers Annual #1, she took him out of the fight pretty easily by draining his armor of energy.

I hate the Zodiac because I have to keep referencing the wiki to figure out who is who. Twelve is ridiculous for a villain team! Especially since they barely have any exciting powers! Capricorn’s power is that she climbs good! NOTICE HOW ITS NOT USEFUL IN THIS FIGHT??

Sigh.

Back over at Hawkeye, he’s met a match in Sagittarius, who he says is almost as good as he is.

But Taurus tackles Hawkeye and throws off his aim. The arrow that he intended to not hit Sagittarius right in the robot heart hits Sagittarius right in the heart.

And he dies. Robot dies.

Uh oh, fervent anti-murder guy Hawkeye manslaughtered another man. Robot man.

While the West Coast Avengers are briefly distracted by a robot death rattle, Leo capitalizes on the moment to get the upper hand on Tigra. But Mockingbird and Moon Knight take advantage of Leo’s focus on Tigra to simultaneously bonk him from behind.

Pisces exclaims that she foresaw Sagittarius’ death in a PROPHETIC DREAM and they gotta bug out now or it’ll mean disaster!

She freaks out and runs, then Cancer decides ‘hey why not’ and jumps on the bandwagon.

An annoyed Scorpio decides to order a retreat rather than fight on three LMDs (or more?) down. He busts a corral to distract the West Coast Avengers with a stampede and the LMD Zodiac run awayyy.

After the Avengers off-screen re-corral the cows, Hawkeye has time to feel feelings about killing a robot man.

Hawkeye: “I didn’t mean to kill the guy -- !”

Dr Pym: “It wasn’t real Hawkeye! Just like Ultron -- not real!”

Geez, Hank. Is that how you’ve coped with your robot son Mark the Ultron dying? You’ve decided he wasn’t a real boy and you don’t need to feel anything about it?

That’s cold.

Is Vision real to you, you monster??

Jokes aside, I think by the standards of when robots are real boys in comics, the Zodiac LMDs are. They may be monomaniacally obsessed with astrology but they still fear death and can express complex, stupid ideas.

Anyway, Hawkeye being sad about manslaughtering a robot man makes Mockingbird worry anew how Hawkeye will react if he learns about Phantom Rider.

It being brought up so often makes me think we’re going to find out soon.

The narration even teases “someday we’ll find that out, but not this day!”

Anyway, in the secret base of the LMD Zodiac, Scorpio lambasts Pisces for causing a panic. He accuses her of causing the disaster she foretold. Self-fulfilling prophecy! He also calls her wimpy, watery, and washed-up because alliteration is keen.

Pisces defends herself saying that she was just acting according to her nature.

I dunno know more than the bare minimum about astrology but sure, that sounds reasonable.

Scorpio doesn’t take it a fitting excuse but he gets the yelling out of his system by yelling at Leo when he steps in to defend Pisces.

And he tells them that the loss of Sagittarius doesn’t matter because any of the LMDs (except Scorpio, one presumes) can be easily replaced using the Zodiac Key.

And as soon as the ten other LMDs do leave, he does make a new Sagittarius.

Scorpio: “There! There, high in the sky at this moment, is the sign of Sagittarius -- ! From it I draw the energy I need to form a new LMD -- a most ingenious LMD -- for who but I am the master of the Key?!!”

To Scorpio, this seems as good a time as any to recap his backstory.

Villains love exposition. They love captive audiences for it and if they don’t have an audience they love to announce it to thin air.

So the Scorpio story summarized: He tried to kill brother Nick Fury at the SHIELD field office in Las Vegas but he failed and was presumed dead when his escape ship blew up.

But Scorpio Jake Fury found himself standing over the Zodiac Key and the original Scorpio. So I guess the one that died was the meat Jake Fury. Anyway, LMD Scorpio used the key to try to kill Nick Fury again but failed and lost the key. But then got it back.He decided to go after Nick Fury again again and created his first team of Zodiac LMDs. But the Defenders and Moon Knight helped thwart him. So Jake Fury Scorpio shot himself. But then he standing over a dead Scorpio so I dunno what’s going on anymore but Scorpio declares that the answer to “Who is Scorpio?” is “The one who died -- over and over!”

And the Zodiac Key talks to him. Whudda thunk?

Zodiac Key: “Yes, Jacob Fury -- because you were the first to hold me in this realm! You and I are inescapably linked -- and your spirit will live as long as mine, even with your flesh lost to artificial substance! Your mind could not initially hold the idea that you had died and been reformulated, so it was enough that you believed yourself a different human -- until you could accept what I had done for you!”

Okay, so that explains that. Probably.

Probably. I’m not wasting brain cells trying to untangle the continuity of Jake Fury of all characters.

Anyway.

THE NEW SAGITTARIUS!

Finally, an LMD that’s actually life model decoying!

Was that so hard, comic?

Next time... Avengers. Both books are finally synchronized at December, 1987. Gotta let the East Coast team shine too.

Follow @essential-avengers​ for reasons. Like and reblog if you too don’t like Jake Fury Scorpio. If you do like him, like and reblog to confuse me.

[scottpetersen]

DuckTales Double-O-Duck In You Only Crash Twice Rescue Rangers POV Fanfic Chapter 1

Zipper’s POV:

I was flying through the vents trying to find another way back to that lab Black Heron was using to test that intelligence ray on those mice and chipmunks.

I just so happened to get caught in one of that gizmo’s blasts. When I tried to help, I got spotted and Gadget told me to get out of there.

I was trying to find an alternate route back to that lab. I was hoping that entering in through a different way would help me not get spotted this time.

It started feeling like this evil lair was one big maze before I stumbled onto a secret passage hidden in the ceiling.

I made my way through it and found myself in…an arcade?!

There’s dozens of games around here. And I also see a bunch of kids running around playing.

Well, I guess the last place anyone would expect to find an evil lair would be in a place like this.

“It is bad enough I have to set foot in this contraption of a carnival to pick you up. Now you want me to stay here.” someone said.

I turned to see who it was and it turned out to be an old-looking duck wearing an orange jacket and a black top hat and is also holding a black cane. Apparently, he doesn’t like the arcade.

I also saw 2 kids with him. One girl and one boy. I also saw a tall-looking guy with them too.

“Y’know, Uncle Scrooge. I’ve always wanted to introduce you to the captain’s quarter’s arcade. Come on.” the little girl said enthusiastically giving the little boy and the big guy a wink as she pushed him in the other direction.

Wait. Uncle…Scrooge?!

Is this guy the same Scrooge that FOWL is after?! And if he is the same Scrooge, that means he’s both literally and figuratively right on top of one of their evil lairs! And judging by what that little girl called him and what those other 2 people look like, with his niece and probably his nephew and his friend too no less! They could be walking straight into a trap! I’ve got to warn them!

But they were splitting up into 2 groups. That little boy and the big guy were headed off in one direction while Scrooge and the little girl were headed off in another.

I have to choose which pair to follow. Since Scrooge is who they’re after, it seemed like following the pair he’s in would be the best choice.

And at first, that’s what I did. However, between the commotion of the arcade and the fact that they can’t understand me, I couldn’t get their attention let alone warn them about the situation.

But then, I saw someone with a metal beak trying to sneak up on the little boy and the big guy. He’s probably working for FOWL!

I know I can’t just let those 2 get captured or worse!

I’ve got to do something!

So, I made my way over to help them!

As a fight between them and the FOWL agent started to ensue, was trying my hardest to help but I’m starting to realize there’s not much I can do. I tried a barrage attack on the guy with the metal beak. But it didn’t even phase him. Worse yet, I can’t even distract him or get his attention!

Ugh! I feel so useless!

I was starting to doubt myself!

Am I any good to anyone if I literally can’t even get them to notice me?!

I saw that FOWL agent knock those 2 into the ball pit and heard a strange mechanical noise. This means that ball pit is a secret passage to that evil lair! And that means that they’re about to be captured now!

Then, I got a look at some stuff on the floor and it gave me an idea. It also made me realize something! Just because I can’t help them by fighting doesn’t mean I can’t help them in another way!

So, flying as fast as I could, I started collecting the random parts. I realized that Gadget might be able to use these things to build something that can get her and the others out of their cages. Then, they could help those guys escape too!

And hopefully, we’ll be able to stop FOWL!

After I gathered everything I could and put them all into a bag that was on the floor, I went into the ball pit and through the secret passage just before it closed!

-

Gadget’s POV:

It had been some time since we were locked in this cell.

Me and Monterey told Chip and Dale everything we knew about the situation. Unlike us, they were only blasted by the intelligence ray after Zipper almost got killed trying to help us.

Monterey also decided to call himself Monty as a nickname and I think that nickname works for him.

That got me thinking about Zipper. I really hope he’s alright.

Golly, I just realized he doesn’t know this place! He will surely get lost if he hasn’t already!

Suddenly, I heard a strange noise just outside this cell.

I decided to take a look out there to see what it is.

It’s a person with a silver metal beak. I’m guessing he’s also working for FOWL.

That got confirmed when I started to see that he’s dragging 2 other people with him. They’re both ducks. One appears to be a young boy. The other appears to be a muscular man. They both appear to be dressed in white prison uniforms. And they also both appear to be wearing glasses.

Our cell door along opened and the FOWL agent proceeded to throw that boy into the cell next to ours and that man into the cell we’re in.

And before we could even try to run out through the open cell door, it closed just as quickly as it opened.

“Ha! Let’s see what she thinks of me after this!” the FOWL agent said just before he walked off.

I looked at the man who got thrown in here. I started to get a strange feeling. I can’t quite explain what it is. Honestly, I think the best word to describe it would be…empathy? Logically speaking, that would make perfect sense. After all, we are both currently being held prisoner by FOWL. And one of the things empathy is about is feeling for someone who’s in a situation that’s similar to the one you’re in.

But then again, if that were the case, I would’ve surely felt that same strange feeling around Chip, Dale, Monterey and that young boy since they’re also being held prisoner by FOWL. No. It’s something else. But what is it? Golly, I can’t quite put my finger on it.

Suddenly, me and the others heard buzzing.

We turned to see what it is and we started feeling a great amount of joy when we saw it was…

“Zipper!” Monty shouted happily. “You’re alright!”

“So, that’s Zipper?” Chip asked curiously.

“Oh, right. You haven’t been introduced. Chip and Dale, that’s Zipper.” Monty said pointing to Zipper.

“Nice to meet you 2.” Zipper said waving hello.

“Zipper, that’s Chip.” Monty said pointing to Chip.

“Hello.” Chip said solemnly.

“And that’s Dale.” Monty said pointing to Dale.

“Hi there.” Dale said excitedly.

“Anyway, I got good news and bad news.” Zipper said.

“How about the bad news first?” Chip said. “Best to get it overwith straight away.”

“Ok. The bad news is that FOWL is after Scrooge McDuck and his family. And right now, they’re in the arcade right above this place.” Zipper said. “And I wasn’t able to warn them.”

That’s not good! It means that FOWL is way too close to getting what they want.

I glanced at everyone else and judging by the expressions on their faces, they appear to be thinking the same thing.

“Please tell me that’s all.” Monty asked anxiously.

Zipper frowned with a sad look and shook his head.

“No. Those 2 people that just got thrown in here. That little boy is Scrooge’s nephew. And that big guy is a friend of his.” Zipper explained.

“This is not good.” Chip said grimly.

Dale spoke up and eagerly asked Zipper, “So, spill the beans, Zipper. What’s the good news?”

“Well, I managed to get some stuff Gadget might be able to use to build something that every one of us all out of here. Those 2 people included.” Zipper said showing us the bag of the things he described.

I went to get a look at it. And after I did, I perked my head up in excitement realizing these are parts I should be able to use!

“Zipper, this stuff is perfect!” I yelled excitedly.

Zipper smiled appreciating the gratitude.

“Thank you.” Zipper said looking like he’s feeling more happy than ever before.

“And I think I know just what we’re going to build!” I shouted.

“What are we gonna build?” Monty asked.

“We’re gonna be building a plane!” I replied.

After a brief moment, Chip responded first by saying, “It’s worth a shot. Let’s do it.”

Everyone else nodded in agreement and went over here to help me.

We got to work. And soon enough, we were almost done. Just need to put a few final parts into place.

As we were about to, I noticed that the person who got thrown in here is starting to wake up.

Notes: Ok. I think I’m gonna be posting this fanfic’s chapters on a weekly basis. Feel free to read the prologue if you hadn’t already. And special thanks to @skullman2 for correcting me on Gadget and Monterey being mice rather than chipmunks. I’ll make sure not to make that mistake again. Also, thanks for reading.

[wackybuddiemewbs]

WIP Wednesday Buddie Edition

So yeah... I'm still at it, apparently. Even though I know shit about bombs or whatever else and base this solely off of quick internet research. So yeah, those grenades are clearly plot devices for the bombshell that is that those two be gay for each other. Anywho, hope you enjoy the angst! Cheers!

Working title: Reenact My Pain of Losing You

Basic idea: When the 118 is summoned to a field with actual trenches and not at all real soldiers of a world war, everyone is in for a bad surprise when the play turns dead serious. And it’s not just time that’s ticking for Buck and Eddie.

Find out more here: Part 1, Part 2

“Alright, everyone! Gather around!” Greg announces as he makes his way back into the tent. All are at their feet at an instant. Because no matter what, this promises a way to stop walking circles, running circles inside their heads at all the things that may happen.

“The drone just landed. We got a pretty good visual of the situation. One of my men is prepping up as we speak to extract the unconscious civilian. He is nowhere near the explosives, thankfully. So if we move fast, both will make it out of the danger zone without further interference,” Greg begins.

“Lucky bastard,” Eddie mutters under his breath.

He knows he shouldn’t think like this. That guy doesn’t deserve to die because he made some shitty choices or likes to pretend to be in a war. Deep down, Eddie knows all this. And on any other day, he would know how to show proper sympathy for people ending up in tough situations because of some wrong choices. Because they didn’t have the intention for anyone to get hurt. He knows all this. And any other day, he’d know how to show it.

But he can’t. Tonight he can’t. Because tonight it’s Buck who may have to pay the price for their mistake. So Eddie can’t bring himself to it yet, to feel sympathy. He cuts it short, right above the chest. He will put it in its place once this is over, but not tonight. Just not tonight.

“It’s lucky for all of us. Given his condition, he may move in unexpected ways and cause an explosion by accident,” Greg reasons. “So long we move with caution to get him, removing the civilian from the trench will be the least of our troubles, the sooner the better.”

“But what of Buck?” Eddie asks hoarsely.

“That’s the most of our troubles, sadly,” Greg sighs, brushing thumb and index finger over the corners of his mouth. “There is at least ten explosives within close proximity. If any of them detonate, his chances of survival are little to none. Concussion grenades do not compare to fragmentation grenades of the same period when it comes to blast effect, but if you’re right on top of them… things still look grim.”

“Somehow, you make it sound like that’s not even the worst news yet,” Chim ponders, his nerves getting more frayed with every second passing, despite his best efforts. “And I don’t like that. So please, tell me I’m shit at reading a room… or a tent and that this is indeed the worst of it.”

“No, you’re sadly reading the tent correctly. The worst news are yet to come,” Greg confirms, which has Chim visibly cringe. And Eddie finds himself wincing as well. This can’t be any good.

Maybe walking circles was not the almost bad after all.

“So here it goes: We were informed that M15 were used. M15 grenades from that period had a huge downfall when it came to safety measures. To ignite them, you have to pull on a string at the base of the stick. It can easily catch on debris or clutter and thus ignite the fuse by accident. Soldiers had them exploding on their belts unawares during the war. Which is why they were eventually replaced by a model without that string.”

“But that guy got the faulty ones.” Hen’s grimace is tight. Her eyes are betraying any composure she might exude otherwise.

“Yes,” Greg agrees. “Right now, we cannot rule out that Buck at least partially pulled on some of the strings when he landed on the box. It may be that some are fully pulled back but didn’t ignite because they are too old. There is no way for us to properly determine that without moving him.”

“And thus move the cords,” Bobby guesses.

“So if Buck moves off of them, they may blow up and he goes up in flames,” Eddie mutters, finding himself short of breath. “That’s what you’re saying.”

Buck may die, that’s what he’s saying.

Buck may die while they try to save him, that’s what he’s saying.

Buck may die. Buck may die. Buck may die…

“That is what we’re trying to prevent, but that’s the biggest concern right now, yes,” Greg agrees, trying to stick to the facts for what it seems. “Buck is lying on top of them. His shoulder, side, and hip are certainly touching a grenade.”

“So you can’t remove or secure these without Buck moving,” Bobby concludes.

“There’s still a chance they won’t explode at all. When my men go in to gather the civilian, we will see how many we can safely remove. Whatever can lessen the impact of an explosion, we will do. Plus, maybe the examination is going to give us some ideas about how to proceed,” Greg sighs. “I wished I had better news, guys, but we have to take the situation for what it is. Sugarcoating it won’t help you, and it certainly won’t help him.”

Eddie huffs. “Shit.”

“Yeah, it is,” Greg sighs, offering a sympathetic look. “Alright, I’m going to see about the extraction of the civilian now. We need to reduce as many risk factors as we possibly can.”

“Keep us posted,” Bobby answers tightly. “And let us know if we can help in any way.”

“Will do.” With that, he and his team set to work.

Eddie finds it somewhat surreal, watching things proceed. He stands there by the tent and watches as the EOD moves in. He is watching a perfectly carried out operation. They move effectively and with utmost care. He can see that. He is watching them extract Larry from the trench. He can see his head emerge, and then the rest of him, banged up but alive.

And yet again, there are those things he knows he should feel but doesn’t. Relief, for instance. Normally, he’d be relieved to see this injured man emerge, to be brought to safety, to receive the help he needs. Deserves.

Because that’s a life saved.

Because that’s the job, the job he loves, the job he chose and feels like he was chosen for.

But he can’t feel it, not tonight.

Because here they are, people who are dedicated to saving lives, and they are standing by as they pull one out. And it isn’t Buck.

Yes, it is surreal. It is surreal because it is real.

It is real that they are just standing there, waiting, unable to move, unable to help.

It is real that they can’t do their job, that they can’t do it for Buck.

Eddie is grateful that Hen is taking care of Larry once he is out of the danger zone. He doesn’t know if he could keep his cool, talking to him. He’s been there before, what feels like a small eternity ago. But if that guy came about and started talking shit like the other war enthusiast did, Eddie can’t rule out he may have done something he’s sure to regret. So yes, he’ll have to thank Hen for this later on.

Because he can’t do it.

Because Buck may be blow to bits and pieces, torn apart and burned to ash in the air.

Because they wanted a big explosion, the grand finale for their little game before the final curtain draws.

Because he wanted his evening to conclude with Buck next to him on his couch, having beers and talks and little big nothings that only pass between them.

It’s because of Buck. It’s because it’s Buck. That’s why. That’s the only reason why.

“Hey.”

Eddie turns his head to see Chimney walking up to him. “Hey.”

“Just wanted to let you know that Larry is banged up alright, but he’ll be fine.”

“Thanks,” Eddie says, nodding his head tightly. “Did you manage to get a hold of Maddie yet?”

“No,” Chim sighs. “She’ll only know once she comes back home to get her phone, I guess. And trust me, I wished there was another way to deliver the news.”

“Yeah, I get that.”

“But I can’t leave.”

“No.” He pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Look, I just… I get it that you may feel like that right now, but it’s not your fault and it’s not Buck’s. That was just some bad luck.”

“I know,” Eddie sighs. “I just can’t help going back over this.”

“Yeah, I get that feeling. Doesn’t get you anywhere, though,” Chimney sighs.

Walking circles yet again, isn’t it?

“You mean when Maddie ran away to Boston,” Eddie mutters.

“Yeah. I obsessed over all the things I may have done wrong. What I should have done differently. The signs I missed… On that matter, Buck was right. I was spiraling. And that didn’t help, her or me.”

“Yeah, that kind of seems to be the motto of the evening. The things we can’t do to help people we care about,” Eddie huffs. “Look, I know there are things beyond our control. I know that. And I know this is such a situation.”

“But you wanna control it. You wanna gain the upper hand,” Chimney agrees.

Eddie lost control too many times throughout his life, even though he’s always been so desperate to keep it. He has since dug through some of that with Frank, learns to understand that this is true. That there are things beyond their control, and that this is okay.

But this is not okay. It just isn’t.

The rational part of Eddie long since accepted that there are things they can’t change. The rational part would likely say the same thing if it was someone else of the team down there and he had to calm someone down. But his partner is down there and he can’t help him. His best friend is down there and he can’t be with him. And it’s tearing him apart by the seams.

“Yeah, you wanna win but you can’t,” Eddie sighs. “It’s just...”

Chimney offers a sad smile. “It’s Buck.”

“Yeah, it’s Buck,” Eddie swallows thickly.

It’s always Buck.

“Eds?”

Eddie nearly jumps at the sound. He fumbles for his radio hurriedly. “H, hey, Buck, what’s the matter?”

“Am I right to assume that the EOD taking so long is not a good sign?” Buck asks, still trying to sound casual, though he is anything but that. “Or are they just shit at their job and having a tea party without me?”

“We’re all working on it,” Eddie assures him. “So is the EOD.”

“No doubt about it,” Buck answers, then adds quieter, “Just needing someone to be honest with me, man. So, ugh… How bad is it?”

“You’ll be fine,” Eddie answers automatically.

“… O-kay… That means I have my answer,” Buck grunts. “I’m fucked.”

“No, you’re not,” Eddie insists, licking his lips nervously.

“Eddie, that’s how we talk to people we know won’t pull through.”

“No, it’s not,” Eddie insists. “You’re not listening to me. We’re gonna get you out.”

“As I said, no doubt,” Buck sighs, his voice trailing off. “I just wonder in how many pieces.”

“Would you stop talking like that, please?” Eddie retorts, screwing his eyes shut. He regrets it the moment the words slip out of his mouth, but he just can’t take anyone joking about it. Not even Buck.

“I get to make all the jokes about this. No one else does. I’m not at all cozy on a bunch of grenades, and my bladder is about to explode before these might. Jokes are my lifeline right now. So don’t blow this for me before those motherfuckers can.”

Eddie touches his forehead with his free hand. “Right, it’s just…”

“I’m sorry,” Buck interjects. “I shouldn’t be snapping.”

“You get to snap. You get to snap and joke however much you want, actually.” Eddie closes his eyes. “But I wasn’t joking. We’re gonna get you out.”

“Okay.” Buck’s voice is almost not audible this time, and Eddie doesn’t know what to make of it. Is Buck just giving in so not to upset him? Or are they both cashing in on that lie now?

Eddie’s eyes shift to Bobby approaching. He gestures at him, and Eddie understands.

“Buck, I gotta talk to Bobby, okay?” Eddie says, eyes fixed on their captain. “We’ll talk again in a bit. Hang in there.”

“Not much left to do. Unless I piss on the grenades first.”

Eddie forces a crooked smile with the comment, “Try to think of the Sahara or some other dry place.”

“But that makes me thirsty!”

“Just hang in there,” Eddie mutters. “Please.”

“… Okay.”

“Okay.” Eddie switches the radio back off. He glances at Bobby. “What’s the news?”

“It’s looking even worse, actually. The grenades they secured can still detonate, which means the ones Buck’s on might as well. The cord is rather brittle, so it may well be that even slightest movements may make them snap to ignite the fuse.”

“Shit,” Chimney curses under his breath.

Eddie swallows thickly. “So, so… what do we do now?”

What is the plan? What mad rescue are they about to pull? There has to be something, right? They freed people out of molten chocolate before. They can do this, right? They have to.

I have to.

“The EOD still try to figure out what’s the best approach,” Bobby replies somberly. “The biggest issues is apparently the unpredictability of the malfunctions. With more modern bombs, they’d have a clearer idea of what to do. But like this, it’s really fishing in muddy waters.”

That is certainly not the answer Eddie was waiting for. Then again, was he really expecting Bobby to swing by and tell them that all is good and that the bombs wouldn’t ever blow up? Like they ever get that lucky.

Wishful thinking much, huh?

“If someone pulls him out very fast…,” Eddie bargains, he knows he is bargaining.

Bobby shakes his head. “Not happening.”

“We can’t just leave him down there,” Eddie whispers, his eyes drifting back to the trench.

“And we won’t. Ever,” Bobby resolves. “So you get back on the radio with him and keep him preoccupied, okay? This will likely take some more time.”

Eddie blinks. “Preoccupied?”

“He needs someone to talk to him. He may panic, even though he’s been trained not to,” Bobby reasons. “We got the rest under control, so you should sit down and talk to him.”

“But I…,” Eddie mutters, suddenly at a loss.

“You know whom he wants to talk to right now,” Bobby argues. “And it isn’t Greg.”

Eddie nods his head silently. No, it isn’t Greg. It’s him. It has to be him.

Bobby walks over to give his shoulder a firm squeeze. “You got this.”

“Yeah.”

Bobby nods at Chimney. “Chim? Let’s see if Greg can use our help.”

Chimney nods, offering another sympathetic look to Eddie before he follows Bobby.

Heaving a sigh, Eddie takes the radio back into hand. He feels the familiar weight, though strangely, it feels heavier in his hand than it usually does.

“Okay, back to bug you, Buck,” he says, forcing a smile. “So if dry places don’t do the trick, how about lakes?”

“You’re pure evil, I hope you know that,” Buck whines.

“You bragged about knowing the list of all bigger lakes in North and South America by heart, just last week,” Eddie argues, putting on his most casual tone. “I think now might be the time to catch up on that bold claim you made.”

“It’s not bragging if you just state the facts.”

“So if I look it up on Wikipedia right now, you’ll name me the top ten for each continent?” Eddie challenges.

It’s silly, but it’s the best thing Eddie can come up with at the moment. If that is a lifeline for Buck, he will gladly keep it up.

“You really wanna get me to piss myself, don’t you?” Buck grunts.

“No, just figuring out whether that means you get to study with Christopher for his next geography test. I heard they are doing lakes and rivers next, and I don’t have the nerve for it,” Eddie answers.

“I thought you only suck at math.”

Eddie can’t help but grin at that. “You suck at math.”

“Well, then get your phone out and let’s try, man.”

“Alright.”

Eddie keeps forcing a smile as he quizzes Buck on lakes, daring to hope that his voice will not betray him as much as his face likely does. Because if Buck was with there with him, he could tell at once that Eddie is pretending. Even though he told him not at all that long ago that he doesn’t have to pretend with him.

But this time, this is not about me pretending to be fine for my own sake. So hopefully, this doesn’t count.

But apparently, that’s the only way he can have his back right now, even if it is just with a whimsical distraction. Because deep down, both know it’s no more than that. And perhaps that’s the worst of it, the fact that they know it’s only just an act.

Yet, they keep playing this game together.

Because what else is there left to do for us?

[azuremist]

Okay, so here’s what happened earlier today for the sake of transparency:

Earlier, I made a post about one of the trans victims from the recent shooting and included the phrase ‘rest in power’. I’d heard that it originated from black people, so I had asked my black friend, and they said that it was for anyone who died from systematic injustice, so I posted it.

A few days pass and I get an ask from N (calling this person N for simplicity and anonymity) saying “hey this term is for black people.” I noted that N said in their bio that they were mixed race (both of which were not black), so I replied basically saying, “My black friend said that it’s for anyone who died from systematic injustice, I think I should listen to an actual black person on this.” My thought was that, if I got any asks from a black person with this concern, I would change it immediately.

N posted this answer to the ask without censoring my name (and even tagged me) and was like, “I disagree with this. Black people what do you think?”

So I was like “oh FUHUUUUCK NO” because I’m sure y’all know I have an extensive history with harassment online. So I changed my post and was like “uhh hey I changed my post so can you delete this? I feel like you made this mostly to put me on blast and I don’t feel like being harassed today honestly”.

N said that they weren’t harassing me (which I didn’t mean to claim, my fault for not being clear enough), and they removed all mentions of me from the post, which would have been a perfect compromise if there wasn’t someone in the notes of the post already @-ing me.

Also, N claimed that the post wasn’t rebloggable, so I made a sideblog to reblog it to prove that it was. Which this person took as me “being so mad” at them that I made a sideblog. (Also, someone in the notes of the original post (the one who was @-ing me) was like, “You making a sideblog to reblog one (1) post is HARASSING this person!” which…. Harassment happens over a period of time, it’s not one reblogged post to prove that a post can be reblogged, I didn’t rlly understand that)

So at this point, I DMed N to be like, “Hey, I changed the post like you wanted, and I’m really scared and have a history of harassment, could you pretty-please delete it? I know it seems stupid but I’m scared” (I chose not to mention that I have paranoid delusions bc that would seem manipulative I think?) and the person was like, “I don’t care about your feelings, you were aggressive towards me and you’re white” (idrk what the “you’re white” point is about, because this whole thing is about if a phrase is exclusive black people, and they’re not black either, although they’re also not solely white so I guess I sorta get it?).

And then they blocked me. (And according to my friend they posted about me crying “crocodile tears”? I’m sorry that I experience persecutory delusions and I get scared when experiencing them, it’s not my fault, enter that one meme)

And now I’ve gotten people purposefully sending me my triggers so I’m being targeted just like I feared I would. Lovely!

So, yeah, that’s what happened, again, for the sake of transparency. I changed the post a while ago, and it’s better to be safe than sorry. I’ve also since been informed by black folks that the person in question was correct! I’m gonna be donating a few bucks to some black folks in the mutual aid tags as reparations.

Also I learned this AFTER all this went down but apparently this person is fucking 30? And I’m a teenager so. Obviously, I did some things wrong (duh), but they were really out here beefing with someone two-thirds their age. My brain isn’t fully developed yet, what’s your excuse? (This is a joke.)

(Now I’m gonna do what this person didn’t do and put a ‘do not harass this person’ disclaimer: If you try to figure out who the person in this post is or seek them out, your mom’s a bitch. That helps nobody and it makes you look stupid.)

Edit: Added some things that I didn’t know about the situation. Also, update, I’ve been told by the same friend that they’re now screenshotting my posts behind a block… No comment.

[andnatiabrosca]

WIP whenever

(tagged by @layalu uh like 2 weeks ago but I just got my current wips digitized last night lol)

these are 2 different drafts of my prompt fill (again for layalu) that didn't /quite/ click. I have found the right direction though! apparently Bull needs to be in the conversation

also under a cut because these drafts were Long & I want to post them in entirety because, well, I liked them well enough! they just don't Capture the way I like my character studies to do. Also please excuse typos or incorrect words - I digitized these from drafts done in the middle of the night, in the middle of the night during a pain flare (love 90+ degree weeks) so. Not trying too hard here.

I am gonna actually pass the buck this time - @kalina-tabrys-blast-radius - since we were just talking about that character study last night. And pingback on @layalu. (If anyone else wants to be tagged as I do these in the future please let me know! I love tagging on but like. don't talk to people)

Draft 2 and 4 for prompt: A pendant of a paragon for Nat or Mal

Draft 2: pendant of a paragon

“That one’s the Grey Paragon,” the shopkeep says as Malachite absently picks up one of his pendants.  “You’re free to give her a look while I get your blade sorted.  That Grey Paragon is pretty popular up here.”

“What’s a paragon popular topside for?” Malachite asks.

“See if you can’t figure it out, aye?” He grumbles and turns to the whetstone.

As the stone and metal shriek together, Malachite huddles a little closer to the lamp.  It doesn’t do much for the cold of Fereldan, but it offers enough light to study the disk.

The woman depicted on the face – barely a woman, to be fair, despite the age added by the sharp geometry of the dwarven style – looks hard and tired.  Her face is too sharp, little life on her cheeks.  Her eyes glare even in the cast metal.  Her hair is cropped short.  And her nose, short and wide, mirrors Malachite’s.  Just some gravel-muncher, like any Paragon.

Malachite huffs and goes to set the pendant down.  The Stone – if it ever had cared at all – let her house go centuries ago.  What use does she have for Paragons?

The lamplight catches on a bump on the bust’s cheek.  Could that be - ?

“She’s a brand?” Malachite can’t stamp the shock from her voice.

The smith laughs, a solid laugh like her dad’s.  “Sure is, kid.  And a cloudgazer.  Know why she’s called the ‘Grey’ Paragon?”

“It doesn’t say,” Malachite says, titlting the disk to read her title.  “It just calls her ‘Nat Brosca, Paragon of Duty’.”

“Oh, you read Dwarven well.  Nat Brosca, Paragon of Duty, indeed.  She was one of those Wardens what fought the Blight out here a few years back.”

“No shit.”

Malachite looks at the girl in the pendant – her own face, nearly, stylized into that of an ancestor.

“Poor sod.  That’s not an easy death, against the darkspawn.”  She’s seen a few, herself.

The shopkeep laughs.  “Brosca didn’t die, kid.  She’s out there, somewhere.  Reminding us all that even us the Shaperate claims are forgotten by the ancestors – even we have a place in the Stone.”

“Any way,” he says ashe heaves himself up with a goran.  “ I can fix these wraps for you if you like, or I could sell you some leathers for fixing.  No use losing my work on there to poor care.”

“I like doing my own grips,” Malachite says.  “But I’ll buy some leather off you, if you’ve got any in green.”

“Sure thing, “ he says, bumping under the table for a minute.  “You’re gonna owe me, ah, a sov and twenty.”

Malachite puts the pendant down and pulls out her coins.  “Thanks,” she says as she drops the coin on the table.  The smith passes her blade back, and a cloth bag.

“Your leather’s in there, “ he says, “and a little extra.  We’re all going to need a little extra kindess this winter, ser…” he trails off, looking for her name.

“Malachite, of House Cadash,” she offers, standing for the first time in years on years upon her mother’s shoulders.

“Well, Malachite of House Cadash, Carden of no clan thanks you for your business.”

Later, when she sits by a lonely fire in an empty inn, Malachite pulls the beautiful green leathers from the bag – and finds a little pendant, strung on a green cord.

Draft 4: pendant of a paragon

“I used to want to believe in the Maker,” Malachite admits, late one night and drunk half under the bar.

“Yeah?” The Iron Bull asks, not half as drunk as he’s pretending to be.  “How come?”

“I’m casteless. My family were thrown out of the Stone before living memory, for a reason we can’t remember.”  She sighs and lets herself slip off her chair, landing in a lump under the table.  “Figured if I was going to be a second-class person, I might as well do it with a g-d that hadn’t already tried to kill me.”

“No g-d wasn’t an answer?” Bull asks, joining her on the floor.

“Don’t pretend you don’t undersand,” Malachite says, poking his stomach.  “Ser turned-myself-in-for-reeducation.  I’ve never been the biggest thing out there.  I just hoped whatever was there was friendly.”

“Because the Orlesian Chantry is known for being friendly?”

“Point taken.”

Bull huffs, shifting to take pressure off his hip.  “’Always wanted to’ isn’t the same as ‘believed in’.  Nor ‘want to believe in’, present tense.  What’s keeping the Herald of Andraste from believing in the Maker?”

Malachite fishes at her neck for the leather cord.  Tugs out her little iron pendant.

“This,” she says, holding it out to Bull.  “I was almost seventeen and a smith threw this in with the leathers I bought of him.”

“Some kind of charm?” he asks, respectfully not touching it, although the spark in his eye betrays his interest.

“Paragon charm, yeah.  But it’s who the Paragon is.  See the raised bit on her cheek there?  She’s casteless, like me.  Proof that the Shaperate is wrong.  The Stone knows us, no matter what they say.”

[jodilin65]

I definitely don’t have as much energy as I had yesterday. I’m not horribly tired, but I’m tired. Again I got the same 83 sleep score. Slept a little less than 8 hours this time, but there was one huge spike in my oxygen level and I do remember my nose was stuffy for a minute there, and I also got up to pee and had a bit of trouble falling back to sleep. So I don’t know if there’s a connection or not.

Obviously, the vitamins aren’t helping. I looked and found I had 19 days in March that I was either tired or exhausted, and only 12 good days so that sucks. That’s way too much! Even a third of the month would be too much. A quarter of the month is kind of borderline, but 19 days is way too much because you’re talking more than half of the month and it’s like, come on already!

But after doing some serious reflecting, no doctor has ever really helped me. The silicone stuff isn’t helping. I didn’t think it would. I still wonder if it’s worth running to the GYN because no one ever seems to help solve my problems. For years, no one helped me with the anxiety that I had, and no one has helped with the fatigue. So why would anyone be able to help me with the burning down there? I really think that unless they’re missing something, the next step would be for her to recommend estrogen-based treatment and unless it was in pill form or something I could put on my fingertip, I wouldn’t be able to use the stuff. Then there would be the side effects.

Someone was blasting music earlier. I could just make out the faint beat of it in the bedroom. So I stuck an ear out the door and there was definitely music going, but I couldn’t say if it was outside the park or not. It’s one of those things where it could have been loud but far away or softer and closer. There were no lights on next door and I doubt it was the party girl or the honker.

Speaking of the honker, he shared a post about where he was eating by the river, so I said that it looked like a nice place and to have a safe trip home. Then someone else asked him when he was leaving because they wanted to get together one more time with him. I was hoping he would answer but if he did, he did it in a private message.

On Facebook, you can list yourself as going to an event or interested in an event, and he’s interested in a motorcycle expo on April 20th. So he’s likely to be here until at least mid-April and maybe even May.

Okay, now onto a couple of mysteries. Let’s start with someone I thought was following me that I now don’t know if they are. I thought that one of my New York visitors who’s listed as being in Newark was them. Whenever I clicked through to their location, even though geo-tracking is a joke and is usually 10 or more miles off, it always took me to upstate New York where I thought they lived. It puts me in the middle of a canal above Finger Lakes, actually. But then when I was looking at a map at something else, I saw that Newark is actually in the southern part of the state. I don’t remember it ever saying one town while giving me a totally different location on the map like that. Usually, the town it says they’re in is the town that’s going to come up when you run the IP, so I don’t know where they really are or if it’s who I thought it was or not.

The next mystery of the night is actually something that happened in 2013, way back when you could get anonymous comments on my-diary. I got slammed with all kinds of criticism then since apparently, the only way people feel they can really speak their minds is if they can do it anonymously. It was kind of funny and I actually got a kick out of some of the shit I would get back then. I was sorry the day that option went away. You can still comment anonymously on Blogger but that site is dead in comparison and people know Google tracks. They don’t seem to know how to disable tracking or that they can go through browsers like Tor if they want to hide. If I don’t want someone to know I’ve been around, I use Tor.

So, anyway, back then I think I had more than one person trolling me. There was a person who had an empty account who loved to critique me for being a complainer, and I am. I’ve always been very vocal and very blunt. If something goes well, I say so. If something goes bad, I say so. That much is true.

But then there was somebody who used a fake email address. You didn’t have to have an account to comment. It required an email address but as long as the end of it made sense, you could plug in whatever name you wanted.

I got comments about waiting for my dead parents’ money to buy a place and all this literature sent to me about narcissists and psychopaths. One of their little tutorials talked about how narcissistic psychopaths trick people into forgiving them so they can manipulate them again and how they believe their lies and live those lies.

I looked back and read through their messages again because sometimes, after time goes by, you see things from a different perspective. I first thought Maliheh only befriended me long enough to get me to keep her name out of my book before she ghosted me but when I later looked back on it, I came to suspect that the real reason she ghosted me was because she didn’t like that I liked her. Only she knows, though.

Being the curious person I am, I’ve always wondered who sent those messages. I studied the wording, the writing, the style of writing, and the content. There are so many names that come to mind because there are so many people who could have had that link to that diary that knew me because I was much more open about sharing with people I actually knew back then. Nowadays I try to keep an unbiased audience who don’t really know me personally.

The first name that came to mind when looking at it from a modern-day perspective was Andy. I apologized for dumping him the first time. So there’s the forgiveness aspect. Also, he’s a very paranoid individual who thinks everybody is always lying about everything. So there’s the lying part. Hell, he thought I was lying about my sleep disorder. If anything, I’ve been too honest throughout my adult life. No one has any power over me or a hold on me of any kind and therefore I don’t have to worry about not being truthful. I would rather not say anything at all than lie.

He sometimes also complained when I complained. I was told on Ask around this time that I seemed like a very negative person and was there anything that made me truly happy? Well, this totally smacks of him, even though he can be pretty negative as well.

What doesn’t smack of Andy were some of the comments defending my parents. Andy always knew how fucked up my mother was and he never took her side. Ever.

Whoever it was seemed to know me personally, possessed a deep-seated hatred of me, and desperately wanted to hide their identity. No one ever came out later on and told me it was them, so they never wanted me to know who they were.

It was too well written for termite Tammy and her bratty brood unless they changed their writing style to throw me off their scent. I doubt it, though. They weren’t that smart.

Kim and Molly wouldn’t have been nearly that intelligent to write and send articles written by doctors but I wondered about Molly’s mother.

It could even have been Aly playing some kind of strange joke on me. The possibilities are endless. But I’ll never know who it really was…just like they never wanted me to.

[quirkthieves]

getting any sort of valentine’s gift from katsuki bakugou was a fucking treat and a half.  asking anyone who had known him from primary or middle school  -  which, in u.a., was izuku, if you were willing to converse with him  -  they would tell you that he scarcely received any because he would scare off most.  the ones that didn’t scare got harshly rejected.  and he most certainly never gave any chocolates.  not on valentine’s day, not on white day.

which is probably why it’d be a little off-putting, even intimidating, when the blond shoves a box of high-quality, albeit store-bought, chocolates into tokage’s hands.  “for getting my dorm arrest days reduced,” he mutters.  apparently, this had bothered him enough that he’s taken the holiday as incentive to show at least some appreciation  -  because while he was still on lockdown for sneaking out with the other two, he could have been kept there for much longer than he actually was.  he’s since attributed it to setsuna’s quick wit, and because he doesn’t like to owe favours…  “don’t gimme that fuckin’ look, just take ‘em and be happy.”

if one didn’t know better, this might even be a token of camaraderie.

To say Tokage was surprised was an understatement. After all, it was usually White Day that girls got their chocolates-- and it was usually in the realm of fantasy that anyone got chocolate from Bakugou, of all people.

But he hands her a box, and she can't help but grin, pulling him in for a side hug and patting his back heartily.

"Our dorm arrest days, brother!" Setsuna laughs, pulling away quickly to avoid an unwelcome blast and to pop one of the chocolates in her mouth. It wasn't anything cheap, she knew that much.

"Want one?" The offer is extended as a token of her own appreciation, but her face says it all. Bakugou's part of the group, whether he likes it or not. After all, it took some balls to do what they had done, right?

"Don't worry too much about it. You're not so bad to party with! I wouldn't just leave you to catch all the heat." She had too much respect for her fellow U.A. students to let them take the fall like that. "It's like your little kick, yeah? I've got your back."