#not to mention painting them could be difficult...this will definitely be a project

[theskeletoninthegarden]

Spider enclosure came in, and I'm getting some ideas

[cozymoko]

Ohh!!! Can i have fruitykawa with a reader who's kind of insecure about their relationship with him? Like,yes she's aware that they are married and all,but Fruity is such a wealthy (and handsome) man that surely there are alot of women around him. It makes her feel upset and tries to distance herself from him.

🌕 anon

ALWAYS, MY BELOVED

It's been a while since I updated. Shoutout to my homie, 🟡 anon for this request. Kinda got burnt out at the end, but I tried my best. Enjoy~!

Pairing: Hachiro Furukawa x Female! Reader (1.9k words)

Format: Headcanons, mini scenarios

WARNING(S): yandere themes, jealousy, insecurity, mentions of cutting (plastic surgery).

Synopsis: Hachiro Furukawa, my oc, with a wife who's insecure due to him being so handsome! (≧∇≦)/

REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED!

NAVIGATION 🍮

Being WEDDED to the BEST is not for the weak-spirited. You had to appear stronger — better than the average woman so that they wouldn't dare question the legitimacy of your place. With your status, a ring costing nothing less than a fortune would never be enough. 

Your marriage had become public only a few years ago. Due to Hachiro's wishes. Yet that didn't seem to stop many promiscuous women from testing their luck. You bit back the unladylike words bubbling in your throat as they approached him. Fluttering their long lashes and flashing their pearly white teeth.

Models, lawyers, entrepreneurs: the party was bustling with so many. For a moment, you felt like nothing more than a pretty little accessory.

“Mr. Furukawa, how nice of you to make an appearance!” The host's eyes shift to you, thick and clouded with disdain. “It's a joy you brought the misses with you this evening.” The snarkiness of his tone was palpable. It seems the host wasn't exactly a fan of you, but then again, who was? After all, no one bothered to hide their curious gazes when Furukawa was not within earshot. But all you could do was hold your husband's arm just a little tighter.

The women especially.

"Is that Furukawa? Isn't he just dashing!"

"Wah~! He's even taller than I imagined!"

"Do you think he'll drink with me?"

Tightly sewn dresses, embracing the ladies that adorned them. Various warm shades painted lightly across their lips. Bouncy twists and swirls curled into their hair. Bedroom eyes peering over the many men scattered across the room; married or not. It's safe to say you weren't exactly pleased that your husband was one of the few.

You often hid yourself behind layers of lovely fabrics and excellent posture, in hopes of maintaining your modesty. In your eyes, it only seemed right that you matched the appearance and aura of that of your Husband. Though it seems each and every day was a torturous test of your self-restraint.

Nonetheless, you were never one to lose your composure. A straight face was essential in any type of business setting. Sure, you weren't as deadpan as Furukawa, but you could definitely play the "cold wife" role perfectly.

RECENTLY, you've had QUITE THE OBSESSION with FASHION. You have encountered plenty of upcoming entrepreneurs, many of who you've managed to befriend. One of your closest ones is a fashion designer.

She would soon be introducing her new line of work after months of a troublesome hiatus. So, after pulling a little bit if strings, you were able to help her out. By strings, you mean asking Hachiro for some assistance. With his support of the project, people were bound to come and see the clothes. Granted, he was skeptical of your request, it didn't take him long to break and give you what you want.

That evening, the two of you attended an induction ceremony for the company's new clothing line. Hachiro had no reason to attend, but the grin on your face was much too difficult to resist. Just knowing that he made you happy warms his heart immensely. You were the cutest.

But, all good things, of course, come to an end.

“Oh, my! Look who decided to grace us with his presence.” A woman with rosy lips approached the two of you, swaying her hips a bit too much for your liking. “Hachiro, dear, it's been so long since I've seen you!”

Even other women didn't dare to acknowledge you, especially in the company of Hachiro himself. He didn't take kindly to people dismissing your presence. But this girl, definitely had some guts.

“Inoue,” he hums languidly, watching her in masked disdain. “I'd rather you not address me so informally in such a public setting.”

That's right, KAMIKO INOUE, one of the top models that had recently taken Japan by storm. You were expecting her appearance after Hachiro's announced sponsorship, but her rudeness surprised you a bit. Especially her addressing your husband as though they were closer than friends.

You scoff, looking away from the two. Seeing how you'd much rather watch them set up than listen to Inoue's mindless flirting. Hachiro placed his hand on the small of your back, rubbing gentle circles into your skin. But you couldn't dare look into his tender gaze, knowing of the possessiveness bursting within your chest.

She giggled, “How silly of you, Hachiro!” She reached her manicured hand out to grab his free arm just for him to grab her by the wrist.

“Please refrain from touching me so familiarly, Inoue. I'm a married man, and I'd be simply overjoyed if you would respect that.” He gave her a smile that didn't quite reach his steely eyes, before pulling you flush against his chest.

A bright red bloomed across your skin at his affection. Hachiro never showed too much PDA. "You have a photo shoot to attend to, no?" He asks coldly. "Me and my wife will be sure to cheer you on from the sidelines.

That soiled your mood for the evening. Snatching the genuine smile from your lips and replacing it with one faker than the plastic on that whore's skin. For once in your life you were truly feeling vulnerable.

YOU had CONTEMPLATED GOING UNDER the KNIFE more times than YOU CARE to ADMIT. Not for your own pleasure, but the sake of your sanity. You didn't know what you'd do if you saw another beautiful woman talk to your husband.

Even in your youth, he was the center of attention. He had captured the hearts of many girls from various levels of wealth. You would know as you were one of them. But you were in no way richer or as elegant as the others who approached him. So why did he choose you? You asked yourself.

That night you had taken the guest room. It felt cold and quiet. Absent of the usual scratching of pens and occasional shuffling of papers you had grown accustomed to. The pleasant rumble of his chest as he attempts to entertain you whilst working. But you couldn't bring yourself to lay by his side with such heinous thoughts roaming your mind. You were able to fall into a long, dreamless slumber. But not without the company of a few heavy tears and a single question.

Were you selfish?

From that day, you didn't bother answering his calls, whether it be morning or dawn. You didn't bother visiting him during those long hours he slaved away at the company, though many times you truly wanted to. You didn't bother to allow your personal driver to pick you up, and if he tried, you merely snuck out of the house.

Any and everything reminded you of him, and that alone rendered you to tears. While he was away, you didn't allow yourself to be another burden pestering him on his business trip. You couldn't allow it.

AND IT WAS ALL DRIVING HIM CRAZY.

THE FLIGHT HOME was DREADFULLY SILENT. Aside from the tapping of someone's sleek dress shoes. Hachiro had not so much as uttered a word since boarding the plane, nor did he intend on it. For if he did, nothing kind would leave his mouth. Perhaps a, "hurry up," or two — or three. But all of it was for the sake of his sanity.

Hachiro needed his wife, desperately.

You slip through the large double doors, entering your bedroom with wary steps. It was quiet, as expected, and without your presence, it felt almost dead. A week had passed since you last drowned in the warm duvet. A week had passed since you relished in his scent nestled deep within its silk. And oh how you missed the smell of him. Finally, at peace, your shoulders dropped. You took a seat on the edge of your bed. Under your confident front, you were only one person. One person with one mind; though you usually had two. Hachiro and your own. But your pride didn't allow you to confine in the man you loved. What were you scared of? Being shamed, or perhaps laughed at — scolded? Though none of it seemed likely, you could not shake the feeling of embarrassment that held you on a tight leash. CREAK! You jumped, startled by the sudden weight pressed against your back. "Thank God you're safe," your heart swelled at the sound of his voice. The voice of not a stranger, but a lover — a partner. Hachiro grabs you by the chin and lifts your face up. You quickly recoil away in shame, praying he didn't get a peek at your messy face. The need to prove yourself had increased tenfold, you couldn't allow yourself to falter in his presence. “look at me, [Name]," he whispered softy. Hachiro lifts your head once more, swiping away the tears rolling down your cheeks. "You're crying? Tell me what's troubling you. I can help you, [Name]."

And just like that, you broke. Loud, anguished sobs tore through your throat. Your stomach fluttered at the familiar smell of citrus and mint. You couldn't get enough of it. His arms were warm and comforting, and you couldn't deny the safety you felt by his side. His embrace was stronger than anything you've ever known, as if holding him wasn't enough, you held him as though he were your lifeline. It wasn't your intention to tell him, but you just couldn't help it. Each and every thought was placed on the table. The insecurities that you felt bestowed before him. The people you despised and envied slipped past your lips without thinking. All while Hachiro cooed sweet nothings in your ear, promising you his loyalty until his last breath. “God, you're so beautiful,” he whispered, running his thumb through the swollen flesh of your eyes. His usually cold eyes burned with something you couldn't possibly describe. “I can hardly control myself sometimes.” You stared at him dumbfounded — in utter disbelief. His glasses must've been dirty, you thought. Your hair was a literal wreck. And the past couple of weeks had not been too kind to your skin. Small breakouts peppering your cheeks from stress; bags that could carry at least a ton of sorrow nestled beneath your eyes. Surely his vision was just a little blurry. But upon further inspection, you couldn't spot not a spec of dirt on his lenses. Upon your lack of response, he hums, leaning in a bit closer. “I'm serious, dear.” You huff, burying your face into his neck as your skin takes on a feverish shade of red. Damn him for being so attractive. You felt like a high schooler all over again. Smiling softly, you held him closer. “You're the best, Hachi.”

Hachiro sat awake by your side, gently stroking your back with easy motions. His lips had found themselves on your warm skin. And his heart beating vastly at the things you had confessed to him. The possessiveness you had experienced for him. The jealousy and anguish that had consumed you on his behalf.

Of course, he never wanted to see you upset, but seeing how you value him makes him a bit selfish. Just seeing you made him snap a little on the inside. His rational mind fought for control over his need to have you, to prove his love to you. But he decided against it. He would be sure to show you how deeply his love runs on a later occasion. But for now, he settled for cradling you in his arms. Promising to take all those bitter emotions away from you.

“Good morning, Japan!” Shouted the host. “It's come to our attention that Ms. heartthrob Kamiko Inoue has quit the modeling industry after a life-threatening accident!”

“...HUH!?”

©CozyMoko, all rights reserved. Don't repost my work on other platforms.

[less-dev]

We're making a Starbound/Terraria inspired space sandbox game!

We're making a 2D sandbox game similar to Starbound! Or uh, terraria in space.

#nodev contains shitposting

#planetarium contains dev progress

Specifics under the cut

Who are you?

Aspen - Project Lead, Programmer, Pixel artist, Sound Designer.

Hey! I'm Aspen, I've been programming and making games for many many years in basically every engine there is... But never felt the drive to finish one, until now! I consider myself very experienced in the engine we're using (Gamemaker Studio 2.5) and have confidence we'll be able to make this game a reality. I also run the Tumblr account, so assume it's me behind the wheel as a default. Thank you for checking the game out!

Alec - Concept artist, Character Designer

H a l l o I'm Alec, I like writing and drawing and painting and designing shiiiiiiiit. I adore world building and have frequent bursts of creative possession in which I conceive and birth the greatest ideas and concepts in a mere moment. Otherwise, I can be a total dumbass and completely useless. I'm good at colours 👌 I have been a 85% a home-brew DM for about 2 years now and that is the greatest proof of my ADHD-given God powers of creativity. Slay.

What a cool guy!

Design pillars

Immersion. Above all else, I would like roleplay (casual or serious) to be natural and well supported. I would like players to find engaging with the world, and it's characters to be very personal.

Innovation. Tropes such as "You spawn in a green forest and can walk left or right" will be actively avoided. Biomes will have generation that presents more unique movement opportunities. Such as geysers in rock pools launching players high up, or giant twisting vines that hold up chunks of land to hop between.

More quality less quantity. Planets will be significantly more content-dense than Starbound, and perhaps controversially travel between them will be more difficult/expensive as well. This would encourage players to take advantage of all the resources presented on each planet, instead of hopping from one to the next. This would also encourage us throughout development to give each planet as much love as possible. Each planet should feel like a 'miniature terraria world'. Though actually achieving that is easier said than done.

Meaningful content. Procedurally generating creatures from 100 different pre-set monster parts could technically produce limitless alien creatures for players to encounter. But in both No Man's Sky and Starbound. I find this novelty to wear off quick, these creatures are not manually, meaningfully crafted and beyond an unusual appearance and some shallow gameplay changes... They do not create much of a memorable experience for the player. In my opinion, anyway. I would rather hand-craft every creature and make them all significantly unique and interesting. That's not to say procedurally generated creatures won't ever have a place in the game, but they certainly wont be as prevalent as others games.

Okay well... What's finished?

Fundamental lighting shaders akin to Starbound.

Some world generation brushes and basic commands.

A text mark-up language (heavily optimised), and game chat.

Extensive custom debugging tools

Hard and soft-loading of chunks to save on as much memory and CPU usage as possible.

Complete unloading, and compression of chunks on top of the previously mentioned system. As well as a live-saving system.

Setting, Story baseline, and conceptualization of the first 3 playable species. Each species will have a different starting planet, and immediately different playthrough.

Designs and cultures of several additional unplayable races.

Character proportion tests, sprites and sketches.

First-pass on collision functions.

Weighted Tile variance and tile connections.

CONCERNS

Multiplayer. While I have made an online multiplayer game before and it's definitely doable for this game, it would require some practice in a one-off test game to be fully confident. It would also take a LOT of time.

Modding. As far as I know gamemaker games are notoriously difficult for players to modify. Something like Unity is far easier even without mod support. Gamemaker on the other hand is difficult even if I want to design systems in favor of modders. This is kind of a problem for later, I have faith there'll be something we can do to make it work... But a cursory look says it won't be easy. I would be extremely disappointed if there was nothing we could do.

[wolverinedoctorwho]

[ID: Photos showing the progression of a chibi-style drawing of Gale Dekarios, done with marker and colored pencil. In Thorass, the word "Illusion" is written on the left side of Gale, while "Gale Dekarios, Wizard of Waterdeep" is written to his right. /End ID]

Did a chibi Gale!!! I really just wanted to practice drawing him. I know my current style is pretty repetitive (hell, I trace a cutout to get the base shape correct) but it's what I'm most comfortable/confident with right now. I'm currently flirting with the idea of making a Gale paper doll, so this gave me an idea of what he might look like!

More rambling under the cut!

Things I wish I'd done differently:

The bracers and belt. Dear gods. I tried the details in the base sketch and realized it looked awkward so I erased it, and then when I went to do my initial line I just started drawing them in again! Next time I draw this outfit I will definitely NOT ink those in that way!

I wish I could do more shading. I'm not really sure how to shade, but it's harder with colored pencils when your color options are limited and you can't just slap on a Multiply layer. I tried to shade on the leg with black colored pencil and I wish I had tried that on a different project first 😔. I also think the arms and torso blend together bc even with the little shading I tried they're still not distinct.

Overall I think I could have found a better balance with the details. The bracers and belt did not need to be that complicated compared to the pants and boots and earring. I just kind of got lost in the lines when I was trying to get the shape of Gale's belt figured out.

This is less a critique and more a lament, but I really wish I had more markers and some paint pens. They would have really spiced this up!

His eye shines looked so good in the sketch and then I messed them up with the first brown pencil and couldn't fix it 😞

Things I like in this piece:

I like the way the orb and the lines came out! I'm not very good with inking fine details like that, so I'm happy with the way it turned out.

I really like the shade of colored pencil I found for the robes. It's almost exactly the shade of the robes in game.

Though I wish I could have made the eyes darker, I still like the way they turned out. I'm not really sure how to draw eyes that aren't anime-girl-shaped, but I tried to convey Gale's sweetness and softness. (I did forget about the eye whites when drawing on his face-lines, though...)

Despite going overboard with the details I do still like that I was able to do them. The belt turned out messier than intended but I think I figured it out in the end, and having never drawn a bearded character before I think I did a decent job!

I was honestly really nervous about this one until I put down his hair and face colors. That was a really fun moment when it all came together! I think adding in color really helps with a style like mine, because otherwise I find the details kind of mush together.

By the way, I wrote "Illusion" in Thorass next to him because of how much the word gets associated with him in game. If you choose to do Gale's Weave Sex Scene, the book you look at on his balcony says "Illusion" in Thorass, albeit backwards and upside-down.

Things I want to work on next time I draw:

Body types!! I know when drawing in chibi style it's hard to show a character's actual body, but I want to make it obvious that this Gale is chubby!! I think widening the chest would help with that, and rounding out the torso in general as well.

Shading, as mentioned above. That might be something I have to practice with digital art, but maybe someone out there is an expert at colored pencil art and can throw me some advice.

I want to make him even Gale-ier. I wanted to include all his wrinkles and put some gray in his hair but the former is difficult in my style without making him look angry and the latter is hard when I don't have any silver drawing tools other than a regular pencil. I think he's pretty Gale-y already, but I want more.

I need to be more careful not to press my pencil in so hard when getting my shape down and sketching. I can see lines in the paper where the sketch happened :(

I gotta get a better idea of what his boots look like. And learn how to draw boots in general. Lol.

[gojonanami]

Heya again, Sab!

I think I have read ALL of the fanfics you've written so far, and I am IN LOVE with almost all of them.

I have mentioned this before- you have inspired me to write, and guess what? i finally started too! But now I am wondering, how do you even manage to write fics that extend 10k words? Like some of you fics are 16k+ which is inspiring. I mean as a reader it doesn't seem like it's much, you just indulge into it and get lost into the world created by the words written. But when I tried to write something? God I could barely write anything!

Hats off to your hard work! I never realised how difficult it would be to write until I started lmao.

That being said, do you have any tips for writing relatable fics? Like your fics paint a descriptive image, and as the reader, I can imagine myself being a part of the fic.

I really appreciate your work Sabina! Also, you mentioned you started working on books? Firstly, congratulations! Secondly, what kind of story are you planning on writing sab? If it's okay to share?

awww bb thank you so much 😭🥹 I appreciate this ask so much — it’s literally so sweet!! I’m so glad you started to write!! It’s so much fun and I hope you find joy in it 🥹

writing is difficult but as with anything, it’s easier with practice! for me, I’ve written a lot over years — I wrote a novel when I was in high school so writing long stories isn’t exsctly unusual for me, but I think what helps me personally is having a bulleted list of things I want to happen and a general flow of how I want things to do.

for series like prof geto or even longer fics, I usually have a list of scenes that I have planned out — usually I bounce ideas off of Hannah or Laney and they help me work out what I want to happen in a fic — everyone’s process is different! For me, detailed planning never worked — I would end up stuck in the weeds. I like to have a vague plan and then start writing and then things tend to shift when you write (characters have a mind of their own) and plans change.

I have writing tips under sab [writing tips] — I’m not exactly sure what you mean by relatable fics — for the reader, I do try to keep the reader as vague as possible so the person reading can step into their shoes. but I also prefer for them to have a personality because otherwise they lose all agency and memorability. so it’s kind of about striking that balance — a lot of my fics have some of my own quirks in them — like my best friend read a fic of mine and said she could hear my voice in it haha (which doesn’t mean I’m self inserting at all because I’m definitely not) but I think it’s about having some of your own humor and authenticity in there if that makes any sense at all — I hope that helped a bit

I think I shared the plot of both of my on going projects under sab [novels] I believe !! I don’t wanna retype all that here because it’s long haha but thank you 🥹🥹 that means the world to me because my novels are truly my babies haha

[k00299539]

Movement Project - Recap & Conclusion

Well, with the movement project now in rear-view, I guess it's as good a time as any to write a recap. As I've no doubt mentioned earlier, I spent the first couple of weeks of this semester aimless. It wasn't that I didn't want to work, in fact I actually did a lot of work, I was just struggling with the usual symptoms of PTSD and it was difficult to get up and be in on time. The more schooldays I missed the worse I felt, a downward spiral you could say.

Having spent the first workshop's allotted time just planning and prototyping animation in particular, I finally got my ass back in gear for the second two week block and chose to work on ceramics. In retrospect this may have been a miscalculation, as I ended up spending almost all my time finishing ceramic work at the cost of my other disciplines, mainly painting.

For the final two week block I ostensibly focused on animation but really due to completely mismanaging my time I was working on all three disciplines simultaneously. In spite of the chaos this was actually a lot of fun. The workshops I attended were phenomenal and I couldn't have fleshed out my ideas to the extent I did without the gracious help of all the tutors involved.

As far as my work this semester... I'm happy overall with what I accomplished. Just a bit disappointed in myself for not optimising my time, especially in regards to painting. I think my finished animation is my most representative piece as it pertains to the spiral theme for movement. I am essentially the little penguin trying to scale an insurmountable challenge only to spiral back down to square one. My ceramic work is more abstract, my attempt at representing the spiral theme through form and pattern, rather than narrative animation.

Painting is a bit trickier. My only actual painting work was test pieces and prototypes, nothing final and definitely nothing I'm proud of. That said I made a genuine effort to include painting in my animation and ceramic work. I focused my attention on good values and colour design when working on the background paintings for my animation, and incorporated painting through underglaze in my ceramic work.

More than anything this project was a learning experience, much like the last. And on that charge I feel able to rub shoulders with the best of them. If there was anything I did this semester it was learn. I learned from the workshops, I learned from my tutors and peers, and I learned from my own mistakes. I hope to be able to continue on with animation and put these hard-won lessons to good use.

Thanks for reading all this. :)

[alecbicheno]

Forefront post: A great prop with a helpful texturing breakdown

11/08/2024

This prop was made by Muhammad Abduhalilov, a 3D artist who specialises in creating props and environment assets. He is a self-taught artist, which shows his skill and dedication, and also shows the success that can be achieved in this industry when you apply yourself and commit to learning and improving.

He says the purpose of this project was to challenge himself, which is something that I intend to do after the end of this course as I want to continue to move forward and develop my skills.

His process begins as standard. He grabs references, making sure to get plenty of them to help with proportions, details and fidelity. Next, he goes on to modelling, where he starts off with helpful advice on subdivision workflows and some words of encouragement, which is always a nice touch to readers such as myself. “keep it simple — start with basic shapes and gradually add details as needed. Avoid adding too many edge loops or vertices, as this can make the model difficult to work with and lead to a loss of control over the shape.” (McKenzie & Abduhalilov, 2024) “Practice and experiment! Subdivision modeling is a skill that takes time and practice to master. Experiment with different techniques, tools, and approaches to discover what works best for you and refine your skills over time.” (McKenzie & Abduhalilov, 2024)

Also, while he used Maya to create the model whereas I am more inclined to use Blender, though I plan to get back to working in Maya while I still have a student license, the advice he gives here was still very helpful and applicable.

After making the low poly model in Maya, he moved over to ZBrush to detail the high poly one, elaborating on his artistic choices and processes, such as the brushes used. “Damaging the surface was my personal decision and it was done for the purpose of adding some interest to the model. But in real life, it could be really difficult to damage the container” (McKenzie & Abduhalilov, 2024)

I am not well versed in ZBrush, but, like Maya, I’ll definitely try to incorporate it into my workflow more often, though this will be a more permanent addition as it’s more affordable than Maya. So, by incorporating it, it should help me produce better work and expand my knowledge and therefore my employability.

He mentions his UVs and baking, offering help by referencing his previous article which goes over his baking process and shows his settings for it.

Next, he went into detail about texturing where he makes custom stencils and masks using Photoshop and recommended a tutorial on how to convert texture images to into masks for Substance Painter.

He then recommended another tutorial from a channel on how to paint decals when going over how he painted on the flower decoration. After this it was a step by step of each addition to the model, such as the gradient of colours on the model, the colour variations in said gradient, the rust and wear on the pot which involved importing a rust material where he changed the intensity of the normal, and paired it with a scratch material to get the burned out look on the bottom. He adds various other painted on details with stencils and material masks he prepared in Photoshop. After which he adds further details all over such as more scratches and rust.

For the wooden handle it involved a smart material from a tutorial, and a few filters and generators. “I used different generators and filters (metal edge, curvature, sharpen, warp, dirt, and position). I broke them with grunge and used different layering methods like screen, overlay, and multiply.” (McKenzie & Abduhalilov, 2024)

This was a very in-depth explanation of his Substance Painter texturing process. I found it very helpful seeing what he did, especially with the linked tutorials, even though I didn’t quite understand all of it. Despite this, it was still very insightful and I would definitely refer to this along other tutorials online if I need to look up texturing assistance.

For rendering he made use of Marmoset Toolbag, another piece of software I’m unfamiliar with, as my renders are usually done in Blender or Substance Painter. He made use of Quixel for materials and assets then Marmoset for HDRIs.

For some finishing touches, he went into Photoshop. “To finish, I adjusted exposure, contrast, and clarity using the Camera Raw Filter in Photoshop.” (McKenzie & Abduhalilov, 2024)

To conclude, he shares more words of wisdom, encouraging us to consistently practice and to experiment with different tools and techniques, all in order to improve and maybe discover our unique styles.

In summary, this was a very insightful article. He clearly goes over his entire workflow, as well as recommending learning resources throughout the article to help readers learn. He also made good use of a variety of different software to produce the best possible end result, all while giving advice to us to try and helps us improve our own skills.

References

McKenzie, T. & Abduhalilov, M., 2024. Texturing Realistic Burnt Metal & Worn Wood in 3D For a Soviet-Era Bedon. [Online] Available at: https://80.lv/articles/texturing-realistic-burnt-metal-worn-wood-in-3d-for-a-soviet-era-bedon/ [Accessed 11 August 2024].

[jalousie-gd4]

all outstanding writing initiatives: #5, 6, 7, 8

[writing initiative #5]

I think i recall presenting my 3D concept at the time with was clay test figures for my idea of a hanging sculpture mimicking the last judgement painting in the Florence duomo. Definitely rough polymer clay tests. and then ideas and concepts for the other remaining projects.

2 strengths i would say my classmates found is the variety of materials i planned on using, as technology like coding isn’t really my strength, so utilizing materials and playing to my strengths is a better strategy. Also, the bolder ambitious ideas are helping me pull away for more literal adaptations of my given word, jalousie.

Ways i could improve is showing more progress, as i have been trying to come up with sketch concepts and focusing on that rather than the actual project.

i need to complete the remaining projects, all that’s done at this point is the 2D. I think I’ve been putting them off because I’m struggling to find ideas and concepts that execute my vision while relating to my given word, doubts, tests and failures with materials hindering my progress, and the struggle of straying from perfection.

[writing initiative #6]

I think i recall presenting illustrated visuals i am making for my 4D project - an animation briefly highlighting the origins, functions, and surprise of the jalousie window.

2-3 strengths i think my peers saw is my drawing abilities and my organized storyboard.

a way i could improve is again, showing more progress, i feel bad for not having much completed to get their feedback and it feels like they don’t have much to critique due to my lack of progress.

again, I’ve put many of these projects towards then end because I’m struggling to grasp if i am satisfied with my ideas, if it makes sense, if it relates to the word, if it’s abstract enough. Dealing with the self-doubt is the hardest when everything depends on yourself. I think I’m scared to attempt it too because all the possibilities of materials and not wanting to waste or screw it up.

[writing initiative #7]

Could not attend that day due to health reasons, could not present or get feedback this week. At this point i started working on the experimental painting.

N/a

n/a

i’ve put off the 3D handing sculpture the longest because the air dry clay I’ve used is not working how i wanted it to - drying all cracked and difficult to assemble - making me frustrated and not wanting to attempt this at all and totally change my ideas. Putting off the 4D the illustrations are a time consuming thing to do and was still doubting if this idea i had was too literal. Put off the reflective because I didn’t want to just make a book and was figuring out what to make with the scraps of material i had leftover. The idea for the experimental came the easiest to me and I’m so grateful for that and that i got to paint for the first time in years.

[didn’t get to present] so here’s a recap:

2D - the jalousie room pamphlets - describing the 6 types of jealousies in a folded pamphlet with drawn illustration by me and it mimicking looking at each scenario through the jalousie windows.

3D - was the 3D hanging sculpture but thought of changing my idea to the vertical billboard a lot of my peers mentioned i should do and mix it with the Marie Antoinette affair idea to showcase romantic jealousy with the bourgeoisie thought I’ve had since picking my word.

4D - jalousie window animation - wanting to briefly highlight its origins in the mid-century modern era, it’s function/mechanisms, and a surprise element addressing it’s security risk.

experimental - a painting highlighting the real life consequences of jealousy with the tv being a metaphor of a jalousie window. Inspired by a song called 1974 live addressing the woman who was the first to commit su*cide live on air.

reflective - thinking of using my leftover transparent paper to make “glass slats” like the ones used in a jalousie window cut to spell each letter of jalousie and assembled to be a hanging installation with leftover dried paint i used to again highlight the materiality and trials and failures through this process.

[writing initiative #8]

I’m used to working independently on projects, especially when the task is written out for you. However, I didn’t really know what to expect from this class after taking two terms off due to burnout and having it recommended to me by my advisor, but this semester-long self-directed assignment has definitely been a challenge trying to find my creative passion again after being in a slump for so long and leaving all decisions to myself has been very heightening for my anxiety. The creative doubts i had for myself has been a journey for me to really persevere and find joy in making art again.

There were many aspects along the way that have made it difficult to progress in this chosen assignment:

Creativity - yes, definitely questioning my abilities, ideas, material choices, and wondering if it would be enough or satisfy the project prompts. I debated for the 3D part whether an animated 3D gif was even enough to be considered 3D and debated on going back to print and making something look 3D.

Research - in the beginning it was daunting but as I understood my word more and its meanings, the research became easier. I’m thankful i chose a word with simple meanings as i felt i would be hindered if i chose another, feeling like i wasn’t smart enough to execute those words.

connecting design to research - as long as i could keep up merging the meanings of my word (the window and the French origins of jealousy) then it became easier to merge these ideas and come up with ambitious concepts. However i also think being too ambitious has led to my downfall and doubts, and slow progress. If i did it all over again i would start off rather simple then expand if it allows.

craft - the thought of buying materials and it ending up going to waste by being ruined has been a factor in my slow progress. I like to keep waste at a minimum so having all these failed air dry clay figures, spilled paint, multiple paper prints was frustrating to me. But without those failures it would’nt have taught me those lessons i needed to learn.

definitely time management - trying to balance these self-directed projects with other classes, unexpected life events, and the presence of procrastination has been hard. It seemed ongoing like i could never catch a break and was always feeling rushed and overwhelmed. I definitely need to improve my time management skills after the two terms off - jumping back into it again was difficult to adjust.

shyness/social anxiety: I wasn’t as active in discussions again i feel its because of the two terms I’ve previously taken off. I’m not used to talking to people I’ve never met all of a sudden so it’s hard for me to break out of my shell and feel comfortable sharing my thoughts and ideas.

3. I enjoyed that it was a test run into what the possibility of pursuing thesis would be when i graduate. It made it seem less daunting than what i expected but it also taught me how challenging it is creating something this big. It was nice to see others’ interpretations of their chosen word.

4. I would probably rate my performance this semester a 6/10, being harsh on myself. I could’ve sone better of i had made more progress and updated my tumblr constantly (due to my inexperience never using tumblr before). I wasn’t able to make all the group discussions due to health reasons so i wish i could’ve participated more.

5. I wish i was more consistent in uploading my progress, shared simplified ideas rather than ambitious ones because it’s easier to build off simple ideas than falling back on ambitious ones. I wish I wasn’t so keen on perfection and i wish I wasn’t so hard/negative on myself for when i thought my ideas weren’t perfect enough. I think trying to work on these projects in consecutive order also gave me major doubts as to what is even considered 4D or reflective enough. I wish i just let it go with the flow and enjoyed myself more though this creative test.

[blockgamepirate]

Self-reblog as an excuse to do some self-indulgent rambling about this project (or possibly the other way around? idk)

The Cabin:

I think I’ve already mentioned before that my dad made this for me as a birthday present and it’s completely unrelated, I just like it because it kinda fits. It’s not quite the right scale but it’s close enough if you don’t look too hard. xD It’s mostly made out of random spare bits of wood he had lying around and painted with actual house paint (punamulta specifically)

Techno:

The cape is red felt, bordered with white pipe cleaner. The pipe cleaner made it very easy to shape correctly. I also added some ochre coloured yarn as a clasp.

The crown is made out of gold-coloured cardboard which I had lying around for some reason. I don’t even remember buying it. The gems are actually just dots of window paint. I’m still debating whether I should make the crown bigger or try to somehow fit it on top of his head better but the figurine’s head is very difficult to work with. The ears get in the way no matter what I do.

Still really happy with him though.

Phil:

I couldn’t find a crow figurine, or even a different corvid figurine, or at least none that would deliver to Finland (there was one online shop I found that did have ravens but I think they were North America only). So I made him out of modelling clay and just painted him black. There are little diamond shapes on his wings to imitate his cape.

I kinda regret not making him dark grey instead of black, to fit his character design better, but whatever. I think carrion crows are more common in England anyway? (I’m way more used to hooded crows myself, living in Finland)

The hat is just white and green cardboard. It’s not very good but it’s passable. I guess I could make a new one? I’ll think about it. I do like the colours at least. And the shape is very good. It’s pretty close to Urahara’s hat. I actually own an Urahara hat (bought it back in like 2007 or something I think, back when I was still into BLEACH...) and I used it as reference. It’s an actual good one. I don’t think it’s official merch, but it’s a really high quality fake. I vaguely remember it being a bit expensive for my budget but I couldn’t resist. Anyway, point is that it was very helpful.

Wilbur:

I waffled so long as to which animal to make Wilbur, but in the end I decided I like the idea of leaning into both his name meaning and the “twins duo“ thing. And I just loved this wild boar figurine so much, especially together with the pig figurine. They look very good together and I love them so much. It’s also a very good Wilbur colour, it matches his hair. And the yellow jumper looks really good on him too! Although in photos he always ends up looking too dark. [insert a rant about how cameras aren’t calibrated for dark colours because all those decisions were made by white people and other light-skinned people]

I bought some yarn with the vague ambition of maybe knitting him a sweater (ended up using that yarn for Techno’s cloak clasp actually) but I also bought a pair of socks since I figured that might be easier and look better, and I did in fact end up using the socks and abandoning the knitting idea completely pretty much immediately. I did not do a good job with the sewing but luckily it’s not super obvious unless you look at him very closely. I’m surprised how good it ended up looking regardless. Using the sock was definitely the right call, I love it.

The guitar is all painted cardboard, modelled after Wilbur’s actual guitar. The strap is a piece of this weird material that I bought once to use as sort of fake leather. Not sure what it’s actually called, I got it from some sort of pop up arts&crafts shop that was kind a weird and maybe a bit dodgy idk. It’s definitely a synthetic material, it’s very plasticky to the touch, but it looks very good as long as you don’t touch it. And it worked really well for this purpose. I’m really happy with the guitar in general too, for just a paper craft it looks pretty damn good IMO. I came up the design all on my own too and I’m so pleased with myself.

Tommy:

Look, I did consider raccoon for the longest of time, but I did feel like that was a bit too Dream SMP specific? Also let’s be real, rooster is a perfect animal for Tommy’s vibes. Big rooster energy. And of course it’s a reference to Origins SMP, my beloved. I also liked the idea of having the Sleepy Bois be two piggies and two birbs. It feels very right.

The figurine was actually brown and green, I painted it white. It needed a couple of layers to properly cover up the old colours since they were pretty dark. But of course Tommy has to be white and red.

I did struggle with the accessories for ages. I really wanted to give him his iconic shirt but it was just too difficult to do on a chicken. I wasn’t sure about the scarf since it’s not actually a design Tommy uses himself? It’s very much fanon. But in the end it was the most obvious thing and everybody said to go for it when I asked. It did take me a while to find the right material for it though. It’s such a small piece of fabric and everything I was able to find was too thick and looked awkward. What I ended up using was... my dictionary says it’s called “tissue paper“ in English? idk hope that’s the right term. It’s very fine and flowy paper used for crafting like fake flowers and such usually.

The discs are cardboard painted black and coated with... I think I just used modelling lacquer? idk, it could also just be wood glue. It’s been months now, I don’t remember. But I think the result turned out really good. You can’t see it in photos but they have sort of that vinyl-like texture. And the labels are just paper coloured with markers and glued on.

I still wish I could have come up with something to make him more immediately recognisable as Tommy but oh well.

Ranboo:

I had no idea which animal to choose for Ranboo but my Ranboo consultants were very insistent on cat so that's what I went with.

The figurine was classic tuxedo cat with a fully black face and yellow-gold eyes. I painted half of his face white and coloured his eyes with marker. The markers turned out to be a bit too clumsy for this, which wasn't a problem with the green because you really couldn't see it over the black, but unfortunately the white model paint mixed with the red ink and the effect ended up looking like he had a horrific eye infection ;;;;

My Ranboo consultants wanted me to leave it like that, but tbh it was kinda distressing me because it looked just like a real cat that a friend of mine found in a park near his place once, it just looked painful.

(Don't worry about the cat btw, my friend was able to catch her and take her to the vet and he managed to raise enough money to pay for her surgery with some help from us others. They had to remove the infected eye but she recovered well and he was able to release her back into the park and last time he saw her she had other strays as friends and was doing well. (He also had her spayed first and took care of her until she was fully recovered, dw. She was semi-feral so it was better for her to stay outdoors. She wasn't happy about being around humans.))

Anyway luckily I was able to fix it with multiple layers of paint and now it mostly just looks like he has a naturally red eye.

The crown is the same as Techno's, just a different size and I focused on red and green "gems". It's a bit big for him but tbh I think that fits xD

I didn't give him clothes because he's already wearing a tux, clearly

I also decided to give him a grass block, because enderman. It's just modelling clay again, painted and covered with model grass on top.

Niki:

I had a whole bunch of suggestions for Niki but I decided to go for a cat, partly because I saw this particular cat figurine and felt like she looked like Niki. But also because she's been wearing cat ears a lot. And she just has cat vibes.

The only modification on the figurine is a tiny bit of eye make-up. It doesn't actually show very well in photos, I should maybe redo it.

As with Tommy, I kinda struggled with giving her clothes. I wanted to give her a jumper but her legs aren't actually separate from her body at all so it's not like I could give her sleeves. I ended up going with the weird sort of cape, made out of an old sock I had lying around. It's at least the same colours as her grey jumper.

I also couldn't decide what to do about the pink hair, because I didn't want to actually paint her fur pink. Would have looked weird. In the end I was between tiny pink flowers or a tiny pink button. The smallest pink button I could find was this one that actually was flower shaped so I guess that worked out? idk, it's fine. It was bigger than I hoped (I wanted to put it on her collar) but I just had it as like a decorative button on the side instead.

I also made her a little basket out of jute string (you can't actually see it well on the photo rip)

Here's a better view. I actually crocheted it... you might be able to tell that I hadn't actually crocheted in over a decade lmao. Also it was a terrible material for crocheting anyway. But it looks good enough. It looks decently close to a straw basket.

The loaves of bread and the cake are made out of clay again, the fruits/berries on top of the cake are dots of window paint once again. The bread is painted but the cake actually isn't, I just used brown and white clay which both happened to be the perfect for a Minecraft cake. The thingy under the cake... I once again don't know what to call it in English, google seems to suggest "placemat" or "paper doily" maybe? Anyway it's just a piece of paper towel. I have some that has these circular patterns.

I also made some chocolate chip cookies but I couldn't figure out a good dish for them so I left them out.

And that's all I guess?

Obviously there's plenty of other ones I could do. I can't affort to buy all the figurines I want at once though lol. But obviously a fox!Fundy, a duck!Quackity, a sheep!Puffy, a ram!Schlatt maybe? (Depending on how much I really want to have a Schlatt figurine tbh, I've never really actually watched him. I feel like I would only want him for the sake of completionism.) I don't know how I'd do Tubbo because I am very strongly in favour of bee!Tubbo but bees in this scale... uh... he would have to be very small. I do really wanna do flamingo!Eret because that just sounds fab.

But again, I need to chill out a bit with the spending for a while, so there probably won't be new ones anytime soon. Unless I just make a tiny bee out of clay lol

Feel free to suggest other animals though. I don't know what I'd do with some of the streamers who don't have an obvious animal association. Or maybe I just don't know what the obvious animal association would be because I don't watch them enough (or at all).

I've finally decided to make a sequel to this post with the Sleepy Bois animal figurines

It's the Syndicate! They're having a picnic. Niki brought so much bread

[ID: A photo of four animal figurines dressed up like Dream SMP characters. Technoblade is a pig with a crown and a red cape with white trim, Philza is a crow with an Urahara bucket hat, Ranboo is a black and white cat with a crown and with green and red eyes, Niki is a grey and white stripy cat with a black and grey cape/poncho and a pink flower shaped button sewn on it. The figurines are on a wooden shelf with a red model cabin in the background. There's a Minecraft cake made out of clay between them. Next to Ranboo there's a grass block made of clay and model grass. behind Niki there's a mini basket full of tiny loaves of bread, some of which have spilled out.]

Also don't worry about the crimeboys, they're on their own adventure on the windowsill:

[ID: Wilbur and Tommy on the windowsill next to a candle. Wilbur is a wild boar with a yellow jumper and a guitar on his back. Tommy is a white chicken with a green scarf around his neck. Tommy's discs are leaning on the candleholder.]

Will I keep making more of these? idk, maybe? I'm having a lot of fun with this project tbh, and there are some very obvious ones I could do...

[reflective-blog-ablearmonthughes]

Dialogues-Bluecoat Liverpool

I would have to say this exhibition at the Bluecoat called Dialogues by Alevtina Kakhidze and Ellie Hoskins, was definitely my favourite out of all the ones I had visited due to its political and meaningful story behind it. It is also a portrayal of the current events happening between Ukraine and Russia so it’s extremely informative as well. This is a perfect example of how contemporary art can be used in such a beneficial way.

Both artists had used the gallery as their studio having created paintings, a sculpture and audio work. In one of the gallery rooms Alevtina haz displayed paintings along with an audio installation called here even red lights are polite with an alternative map of Liverpool and two speakers playing her voice. She talks about Scouse sensibilities whilst making witty observations about Liverpool and goes into detail about how she enjoys life around her however deeply misses Ukraine. As I sat there peacefully listening to this audio letting out a few giggles in response to her jokingly talking about Scouse sensibilities, I was also at the same time moved by her talking about how is she is always drawn back to Ukraine and miss’s it. I thought her adding in an audio of her speaking was a lovely addition to the exhibition as it felt rather like she was talking to me and telling me about Ukraine, making it feel very personal. I thought it was particularly touching hearing this from an actual Ukrainian with the knowledge of how difficult it must be for her with the current events occurring between Russia and Ukraine. I’ve always loved audio is being added into contemporary art exhibitions as you’re not only using your eyes but ears to experience the works, making you feel more involved and intimate. However, for this one in particular I found lovely as I could hear the genuine emotion in her voice and I admired how she utilises humour to comprehend a challenging reality that has affected her and her family. In the same room two walls had an assortment of paintings that focused on Ukraine. All the paintings in the entire exhibition were painted directly on the wall and one of these painting series featured an invasive type of plant Ukraine homes, and Alevtina interestingly combined botanical definitions with political commentary. The plant is being used as a metaphor for conflict and invasion and the intention of this is to allow us to consider how we feel about the military occupation of Ukraine. I found it really clever how she projected this topic through paintings of a plant and correlating this invasive type of plant with the invasion of Ukraine. This definitely sparked my interest. The plant was also meant to partially represent Russia invading and she mentioned on the wall how are other plants meant to survive with such an invasive plant near them so essentially in other words Ukraine is in a very vulnerable position. A tardigrade was also painted on the wall alongside the invasive plant. This is a micro organism that’s capable of withstanding all kinds of hostile environments and we are informed from the writing on the Wall that it can survive nuclear radiation 1000 times more than what is humanly possible! I felt like this conveyed a sense of heroic resilience against a nuclear war but at the same time I felt rather sad as humans will never be able to obtain this level of resilience. I felt these paintings on the wall or an excellent example of how contemporary art doesn’t need to be neat and pretty as his paintings were very simple put the story behind them is so moving and complex. What I also found interesting about these paintings what’s that they were not only interesting but I actually left the gallery with more knowledge about details of a nuclear war. I was actually learning, and I admired how the artist went about to do this.

When I first walked into the exhibition I actually started laughing as I was greeted with a giant tardigrade sculpture which humorously resembles a giant pink blob-like figure. This sculpture was created by Ellie Hoskins and is meant to be a giant tardigrade. Both artists incorporate a sense of humour in their work and this sculpture was a prime example of Ellie conveying this, in the hopes of maintaining optimism in such sinister times in regards to Ukraine and Russia. This unusual yet intriguing sculpture had a rather menacing face with the intent of being humorous, and featured four arms and four legs whilst being positioned on all fours. Safe to say it was certainly the most interesting introduction I’ve had to an exhibition before that’s for sure! Hoskins had a particular interest in the tardigrade due to what is referred to as a ‘tun state’, an extreme form of hibernation the tardigrade settles into. The tardigrade is supposed to be between life and death whilst in this state. She wanted to show this in her work, so she too drew along the walls on the other side of the exhibition space. She conveyed this state in individual images of the tardigrade going to different low emotions in the attempt of portraying fluctuations in human emotions. I found this enlightening and rather relatable as feeling low and sad and not worthy is an emotion that can get the better of all of us, so I actually felt rather overwhelmed with empathy. Even though the paintings were rather simple, the figures Hoskins drew still accurately conveyed a true sense of sadness desperation, almost waiting for light at the end of the tunnel. These paintings were also meant to show how Ukraine is experiencing lack of hope. Yet again another moving example of how such simple pieces of contemporary artwork can have such a deep and important story behind them. They didn’t need to be detailed or complex in order for me to understand exactly what story was being told. This whole exhibition was the perfect combination of humour, informative and eye-opening. Contemporary art can be quite basic whilst having the most amazing meaning behind it and this exhibition displayed exactly that.

[talbottoabbott]

Mini-Research Paper - Summer Wagner

Summer Wagner is a photographer from Midwest America whose vivid and colorful photographs depict dream-like, ethereal, and fantastical scenes. Her two most recent projects, “The In-Between” and “The Parody of the Tangled Thread,” share many similarities, especially in style and technique. For example, Wagner shot both on a digital camera. Based on what she has commented about her photos on social media, she seems to have done most of her edits in Lightroom. In addition, most of her photographs have similar color palettes, dominated by either extremely cool tones or warm ones. Although her pictures might appear heavily edited using digital software, Wagner maintains that she enjoys getting as much as possible in camera instead of using digital painting. 

“The In-Between,” captured in the summer and early fall of 2021, is the first publicly available project I could find from Wagner. Each photograph represents an in-between of two different elements. According to Wagner, the collection contemplates “humanness, spirituality and the delicate task of balancing life in a web of intricate dialectics.” A recurring motif in this collection is people looking at their phones.

An example is the photograph titled “Finding Affection Where I Can,” shot in September 2021, which depicts Wagner curled up in a laundry machine using her phone. What I find interesting about this motif of cellphones is that it perfectly captures a dialectic that capitalism and society have enabled, a reality in which people are almost always together and connected with each other because of advances in communication technology yet are fundamentally alone and disconnected from the people and places around them. There are also photographs in the collection that are impressive in their ability to capture the aforementioned “humanness” and depict human emotion and experience.

For example, one of my favorite images in the collection, titled “What Happened,” depicts the state of “in-between reality and dream.” There is a translucent person, an effect that Wagner might have achieved through long exposure, sitting down in a chair and situated in an environment that appears more definite than the person. With this photograph, Wagner expresses the universal yet difficult-to-describe feeling of waking up from a dream so intense and powerful that the dreamer cannot differentiate between the dream and reality. The forward-bent position of the subject also perfectly captures the grogginess of waking up from a deep nap and contributes to the image’s immersion and realism.

“The Parody of the Tangled Thread,” shot across 2021 and early 2022, is the most recent of Wagner’s collection. It is a visual poem about the notion that people experience reality in a fixed, linear manner and also all at once. Even on an individual level, it is a tangled thread of physical neurons and less tangible memories or concepts that come together to create one identity through which we experience the world. Memory is especially central to this collection since despite appearing to experience the world linearly, we continuously replay memories of happiness, embarrassment, or loss. The collection is also quite metatextual. Wagner mentions how cameras, since they are not tethered by a fixed experience of time, can show us different ways of perceiving time by capturing a specific moment, including the thoughts and feelings of the people in those pictures. In addition, long exposures capture long stretches of time in one photograph, showing us a passage of time that the fixed, linear experience does not encompass.

For example, her self-portrait titled “The Inner Bridge,” captured in the winter of 2021 along Lake Michigan, is a long exposure photograph depicting two Summer Wagners from different points in time reaching out to each other. 

What the camera depicts in “The Inner Bridge” is not an event that could happen. However, Wagner contends that fantasy in art is often more true than the reality that humans experience through their senses.

An example she provides from the same collection is a photograph titled “Where We End And It Begins.” The photograph depicts three subjects lined up, staring into their phones, and their faces appear to be getting sucked into their phones. By representing phones are parasitic entities, “Where We End And It Begins” perfectly captures the experience of “doom-scrolling” and the feelings of sluggishness and guilt that come with it. The visual of their faces being pulled into the phones is also an apt illustration of the emptiness I have felt after a session of doom-scrolling. These are ideas and emotions that would have been much harder to represent realistically, and Wagner’s decision to choose a dream-like visual style allows her to be more true to the ideas that she wants to explore. 

Conceptually, “The Parody of the Tangled Thread” was much more difficult to grasp, but once I started to understand Wagner’s intentions with this project, I felt more connected with it than I did “The In-Between.” It is impressive how greatly Wagner varies her subject matter and style while maintaining the cohesiveness of her work in style and the ideas she is exploring. For example, while the first project restricted itself to only natural environments and domestic spaces, Wagner’s second project adds environments such as a library, an auditorium, a classroom, etc. In addition, many subjects of the second project are engaged in action, contrasting the more resigned postures and positions of subjects in the first, and there is more variation in colors and tones. This variation in style and substance makes “The Parody of the Tangled Thread” a more enrapturing body of work than its predecessor.

- Bhargav Tata

Works Cited

@bugindreamland. “I am beyond excited to invite you to view my collection “The In-Between.” This is a special body of work created in the summer of 2021 contemplating humanness, spirituality and the delicate task of balancing life in a web of intricate dialectics.” Twitter, 11 Oct. 2021, 1:34 p.m., https://twitter.com/bugindreamland/status/1447616624836632580?s=20.

@bugindreamland. “Lol I Put the Tattoo There (It's a Tarot Reference That's Meaningful for the Piece) I Don't Use Filters or Photoshop to Create the Texture That's All in Camera but the Color Grade (in Lightroom) Is What Makes It Look Painterly..” Twitter, 7 Feb. 2023,12:13 p.m., https://twitter.com/bugindreamland/status/1623006819739217952?s=20.

@bugindreamland. “This is a photograph. It’s not edited in photoshop. It’s not a photograph w digital painting either, just a photo i took with candles in a swamp bc I love doing things the hard way for mo reason.” Twitter, 18 Oct. 2022, 5:21 p.m., https://twitter.com/bugindreamland/status/1582481973075120131?s=20.

@bugindreamland. “The Parody of a Tangled Thread: A Thread .” Twitter, 17 May 2022, 12:19 p.m., https://twitter.com/bugindreamland/status/1526598270180524032.

“Finding Affection Where I Can.” Foundation, Foundation, https://foundation.app/@summerwagner/foundation/96613. 

“The Inner Bridge.” Foundation, Foundation, https://foundation.app/@summerwagner/pott/15.

“What Happened.” Foundation, Foundation, https://foundation.app/@summerwagner/foundation/96610.

“Where We End And Where It Begins.” Foundation, Foundation, https://foundation.app/@summerwagner/pott/9“The Parody of a Tangled Thread.” Foundation, Foundation, https://foundation.app/collection/pott.

[writing-funsies]

OP characters with artist s/o P.5

p.1 | p.2 | p.3 | p.4 | p.5 | p.6

pairings: Robin x reader, Franky x reader

warnings: none

Robin

she loves the afternoons that you two spend together

her reading

and you facing the ocean 

sketchbook in hand

it's so serene

she doesn't mind if you draw her

will love it even if it's terrible

(which it never is)

if you have no ideas or motivation

she might suggest just having some tea and taking a break

if you want to expand your art style

and try something new

just ask Robin

she has so many suggestions

all of them creepy 

won't be offended if you decline her offer

maybe you'll try out a couple of the ideas anyway

and you end up loving them

Chopper on the other hand

the poor reindeer is traumatized

it takes a while for him to gain the courage to go back in your art studio

the eyes on that painting were just too real for him

Robin also likes to just watch you work

she thinks the way your pencil dances across the paper is mesmerizing

and you look so cute when the world fades from your attention

it's just you, your sketchbook, and the pencil in your hand

when you come up for air

maybe jump a little since you didn't know she was there

and a smile graces your lips

her heart melts

she loves it if your art is the opposite of you

so if you're super cutesy and like pastels

but all of your art is darker in color and tone

usually depicting things that would fit in at a haunted house

or if you wear all black all the time and aren't as expressive

and your art is all flower fields and sunsets and cute things

she thinks the contrast is amusing

even if you create things that align with your aesthetic

she loves all of your art

Franky

he loves when you paint on him

will ask you to do touch-ups 

will also create things just for you to decorate

he would be so happy if you helped him make blueprints for his projects

also has a space just for you in his workshop

makes you your own art studio on the Thousand Sunny

stocks it with every type of art supply that you could think of

if there are styles and techniques you want to try

but aren't sure how to go about them

he'll be happy to try them with you

hangs all of your art in his workshop

his walls are just blueprints and your projects

definitely brags about how talented you are

if anyone mentions anything art related

he'll sing about how super your art is

if you've been working on one piece for a few hours

and are obviously becoming frustrated

he'll pick you up and dance around 

as he takes you onto the main deck

the fresh air

and snacks that Franky had made for you

do so much to ease your anger

you're able to look at your project with new eyes

and that one detail that was throwing the entire composition off

was quickly changed

he loves to pose for you

but he can never fully decide on just one

so he'll cycle through like five different positions

which makes drawing him difficult

and you end up just using the time to draw him in a normal pose 

he'll cry every time you make art of him

no seriously

every

single 

time

which is very sweet

every composition you make is better than the last

and all of them deserve to be in a museum for the world to see

he tells you that just about every day

will make you your own little theme song

so when you're feeling down

he can sing it to cheer you up

(dance moves and vocalizations included)

if you're not as confident in a piece

he'll hype it up

he's your hype man after all

once he's done talking

you'll feel like nothing can hold you back

which leads to more extravagant projects

ones that take months of work to even get close to finishing

but it's all worth it

and Franky will support you the whole time

he loves seeing that look of satisfaction on your face

when you make something you love

[doubleddenden]

I beat Pokemon Opalo recently. Opalo is a Spanish pokemon fan game translated into English by another fan. Spanish Pokemon fan games in particular go REALLY hard from what I've seen, and this game is no exception.

Full review under the cut- But fair warning, the game isn't totally politically correct if you catch my drift. It's not 4chan offensive mind you, but it's a game that tries to make statements the creator may be ignorant about and also has some humor that may not exactly appeal to everyone. I wouldn't say it's purposely offensive, basically.

anyway, more under the cut, but I'd give it a 7 or 8 out of 10, mainly points docked for not being totally translated at times when the story is happening and some other stuff. I'd still say it's a really good fan game though, and I've had a lot of fun with it.

The story was pretty damn amazing and once the gas was pressed, it never let up for a moment. It went dark places, it delved into American colonization and theft of Native lands, American imperialism and toxic politics, death, and a bunch of other twists. Not to mention, this game went more American than even Unova did, visiting places from all over the map, including the south!

But the game isn't perfect, and I do think that the creator was maybe a little ignorant about certain things, but I don't think it was necessarily malicious in intent. As an adult that consumes a lot of media, I've learned to look at things with a bit of nuance, and I don't really think he meant to harm anyone. That being said, it does mystify and exotify Native Americans to a certain extent- you could argue it's not any particular tribe, but it's pretty obvious that they're the basis for the in game Natives and delve into good and bad stereotypes (admittedly for both sides as well), and it does delve into a lot of the atrocities that America and settlers have committed against them- especially one very disturbing scene towards the end game.

That being said, any extremism is definitely painted as wrong, and there's definitely an understanding that the government is wrong in how they handle things, and it seems like the natives have a happy ending, so there's that at least.

Just be prepared for that kind of stuff. Sort of look at it like you would an anime or video game interpretation of that kind of stuff. I mention it not to excuse it, but sort of as a head's up, and because I as a white person don't really think I have the authority or really the knowledge to talk much about subjects such as this, but I'd feel awful if I didn't give some sort of head's up.

However, the story I think is still.... Very, very good. Like Metal Gear meets Pokemon meets Disney's Pocahontas meets Final Fantasy type stuff. When you think "They can't possibly go higher" they go higher. I know I mentioned a lot of stuff about American govt vs Native tribes, but the plot also goes so far and beyond that. I can't even say some of the stuff that happens because it's that much of a spoiler.

Overall I think it was pretty fun and tough. I don't joke when I say that my team at the very end literally hit level 100 and STILL had difficulties- That being said, it's not too difficult until the very end. The game is paced very well, and the special EXP share system it has makes leveling up a breeze. There's hardly any grinding necessary other than to catch a new team member up sometimes, and even then most Pokemon you catch will be roughly your level anyway.

There's not really a lot of new Fakemon per se, in fact you're only going to see about... 20 of them? I think? 9 being starters, 9 more being starters from a previous project of the creator, and then 2 being the legendaries of the game.

BUT, there's a good bit of regional variants in the game that all look pretty amazing. My main issue is that a bunch are harder to find or are located in West Cefira instead of East where we start. But that is forgiveable, I think. Oh yeah, there's 2 regions- er, 1 region split into East and West. Don't worry, it's not like GSC or HGSS with the levels- as I said, the pacing is very good.

The characters are also amazingly written, with the two main rivals being my particular favorites. I actually cried at a couple of points out of admiration for how far they've come and happiness for them. I definitely think the MC gets with Gala at the end, and the ending left me in tears. I'm actually feeling something like I did BW2, where I'm sad to leave them behind. I'm doubly sad that they aren't official characters, because I feel like they have so much more depth than some real ones.

Music- Well, I think there's probably not any or much original work here. Most of it is either recycled from the games or from other sources. That being said, it works. The western vibes are very strong and I really dig the atmosphere at times. I do wish it went harder on some fights, particularly gym leaders. I'm left wishing that the gym theme had at least half the oomph Xenoverse or Uranium had behind them. But some themes fit perfectly, and usually have a western vibe to it.

There's also a LOT of really great artwork in the game and a museum in game dedicated to it and fan art. Color me surprised when that also included nsfw art. Fear not, the characters depicted are at least 23+ or and older, and the nsfw art is locked away to a bottom floor of an in game museum, and it does not come up at any point in story. Ignoring that, the actual trainer art is great, and there's sometimes very beautiful scenery painted or some great expressions on characters when presented. Trainer sprites, however, are pretty passable but could use some work. The fakemon and regional forms have much better work put in, imo.

Overall though, I think I had a very pleasant time. It's not perfect, but you can tell a lot of soul went into it, and some research into the American Gothic as well. Its actually kind of neat seeing a foreign perspective on us. I'd even argue that this game sort of depicts how I think my area would be as a game to some extent.

Anyway, that's all. Gonna upload a team shot soon

And if you have some disputes with my claims or whatever, please remember this is just an opinion. However, I'm open for a respectful opinion or take on how the game presents the whole Natives thing- particularly if you are NA yourself. Like I said, I don't mean any offense, I'm just pointing out what I believe was kinda sus stuff. I hope that makes sense, I'm just wanting to watch out for people I guess.

[antoine-roquentin]

“The federal budget assumes the government will recover 96 cents of every dollar borrowers default on,” Mitchell wrote. This banker, Jeff Courtney, put that figure closer to just 51 to 63 cents.

Now, for a private lender, like a bank, this projected shortfall would indeed be a ticking time bomb. The bank might be in danger of insolvency (unless, of course, it was rescued by a federal government that could give the bank an emergency cash infusion and take those bad loans off its hands). But there’s no real danger of a federal Cabinet-level department becoming insolvent. The Treasury Department is already in the habit of making up the Education Department’s budgetary shortfalls.

So what is the problem again? Typically for a news outlet like the Journal, the story describes this potential shortfall as what “taxpayers” would be “on the hook for,” but obviously, we all know that that is not how federal budgeting works. Taxes could rise for certain people for certain reasons, but no one will receive an itemized bill for this uncollected debt. And as for that large, catastrophic number ($500 billion!) that might never be paid back, it amounts to less than one year of a national defense budget that “taxpayers” are similarly “on the hook for.” (The Journal’s editorial board recently complained that the Biden administration’s proposed 2022 $715 billion Pentagon budget, while an increase in real terms, nonetheless represents an unconscionable decline in the defense budget as share of gross domestic product. “Taxpayers” are not mentioned in the editorial.)

Democrats helped sacrifice a generation of students to the deficit god, in exchange for meaningless numbers in a report.

The story, then, is that the government might not collect some debt, even if it currently pretends, for budgetary reasons, that it definitely will, and, as a result, the deficit may rise to levels higher than the current estimates predict. For a committed conservative, such as DeVos, that situation is inherently scandalous. For everyone else, that could only ever become a problem in the future, and only if that future deficit has some negative effect on the overall economy, which is not very likely considering the entire recent history of federal deficits and economic growth.

That state of affairs may explain why articles like the one in the Journal so often invoke “taxpayers,” as if everyone would have to write personal checks to cover the Department of Education’s shortfall: because without imagining taxpayers as victims of government deficits, it’s hard to point to anyone actually harmed by a government department giving unrealistic estimates of future revenues.

Except in this story, there are actual victims: the people who hold debt that the government doesn’t realistically expect to collect in full but who are bled for payment regardless. As Courtney’s report found, because of the importance of these loans to the department’s balance sheet, the government keeps borrowers on the hook for the loans even if they will never be able to repay all of the money they owe, often by placing borrowers on a repayment plan tied to their income. (As the economist Marshall Steinbaum has explained, the “income driven repayment,” or IDR, program is framed as a means of helping borrowers, but in reality, it “exerts a significant drag on their financial health, to no apparent purpose” by forcing them to “make less-than-adequate payments for many years before their debt is finally cancelled.”) The victim of such a scheme isn’t taxpayers, it’s debtors.

There’s one particular portion of The Wall Street Journal’s story that the public should treat as a moral and political scandal (the emphasis here is mine):

One instance of how accounting drove policy came in 2005 with Grad Plus, a program that removed limits on how much graduate students could borrow. It was included in a sweeping law designed to reduce the federal budget deficit, which had become a concern in both parties as the nation spent on wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and as baby-boomer retirement was set to raise Social Security and healthcare outlays.

A key motive for letting graduate students borrow unlimited amounts was to use the projected profits from such lending to reduce federal deficits, said two congressional aides who helped draft the legislation.

Each change was publicly justified as a way to help families pay for college or to save the taxpayer money, said Robert Shireman, who helped draft some of the laws in the 1990s as an aide to Sen. Paul Simon (D., Ill.) and later was deputy under secretary of education in the Obama administration.

But how agencies such as the Congressional Budget Office “score” such changes—determine their deficit impact—“is a key factor in deciding whether a policy is adopted or not,” Mr. Shireman said. “The fact that it saved money helps enact it.”

To explain this more plainly, Democrats helped sacrifice a generation of students to the deficit god, in exchange for meaningless numbers in a report, because CBO scores are more real to senators than flesh-and-blood people.

This is the sort of depravity that deficit obsessions produce. The Iraq War needed to be “paid for” with the future earnings of students who, lawmakers imagined, would eventually be rich, even as many of the same lawmakers voted to cut taxes on already-rich people. Now the debt of the still-not-rich students can’t be forgiven because of its importance to the federal government’s predicted future earnings. And politicians and commentators in thrall to deficit politics still paint the situation as a morality tale, in which the borrowers are irresponsible for having the debt and the government would be irresponsible to forgive it. After all, think of the poor taxpayers.

The early days of the Biden administration led some to believe we were finally free of this incoherent political mode, where dubious predictions in CBO reports dictate the limits of the politically possible and determine who will be arbitrarily punished for the sake of limiting the size of a program in a speculative 10-year budget projection. The proof that Democrats had learned their lesson was one major piece of legislation, the American Rescue Plan, designed to respond to a unique emergency.

More recently, the administration, and some of its allies in Congress, have signaled strongly that they’re returning to the old ways. The American Prospect’s David Dayen has reported that the White House is determined to “pay for” its infrastructure plans, and Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen is apparently leading the charge to ensure the infrastructure spending is “offset.” This will have the likely effect of limiting the scope of the plan, once again sacrificing material benefits for the sake of estimates and predictions from the CBO.

The Biden administration seems to be determined to go about this without violating its pledge not to raise taxes on any American making less than $400,000 (a threshold meant to define the upper limit of “middle class” despite being comically higher than the Obama administration’s similar $250,000 limit for tax hikes). It has floated increasing IRS enforcement and raising the capital gains tax for the wealthiest Americans. Both are fine ideas. But the best thing about taxing the rich is not that you can use their money for infrastructure, it’s that doing so reduces their political and economic power. That’s also the reason why it’s so difficult for Washington to do it.

The complete incoherence of the current Democratic position on spending and deficits is summed up well in another Wall Street Journal story, where Montana Senator Jon Tester was quoted saying, “I don’t want to raise any taxes, but I don’t want to put stuff on the debt, either.… If we’re going to build infrastructure, we have to pay for it somehow. I’m open to all ideas.”

“Open” to “all ideas” but unwilling to tax the rich, and unwilling to allow a CBO report to show a larger deficit as a result of needed spending: This is more or less precisely the dynamic that led student loan debt to explode in the United States, and it’s the zombie worldview that threatens any chance of this government averting a multitude of political, economic, and ecological disasters.

[honey-boyyoongi]

Pairing ➪ Y/n x Yoongi | Y/n x Jungkook

Word count ➪ 3.1k

Warning ➪ not beta read; angst; I am sorry in advance

Previous Fic Masterlist

-

Jungkook has been laying on your lap for what seems, hours. You haven’t spoken to him in a year, maybe a little more. A ‘hi’ here and there when Mrs. Jeon invites you, and Yoongi to events. You can never say no to her. Slowly, you start noticing Sooyoung showed up less, and less. Jungkook always gave the excuses, ‘She’s not feeling well’, ‘Sooyoung has a work project she has to get done’, ‘Her friend is having a baby, and she’s the birthing partner’, ‘She’s housesitting for her brother’. They never seemed to stop. Mr. and Mrs. Jeon were understanding, but visibly disappointed. As far as everyone knew, everything was perfect. Until it wasn’t. Your mother told you it was about children. Jungkook wanted children, but Sooyoung was not sure if she ever wanted to be a mother. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with not wanting children, and not wanting the commitment of it. But they wanted different things.

What Jungkook never told his parents was how messy it was. The harsh words, the long nights, large amounts of tears shed on both ends, and the feelings of failure. Jungkook wanted to make it work. He wants to believe Sooyoung wanted to make it work. Within the week Sooyoung had moved into her co-worker’s place, at the end of the month the papers were signed, by four months the divorce was final, and Sooyoung had accepted a transfer to a sister location across the country. It was fine for a while, at least Jungkook tried to convince himself it was fine. The days felt long, dreary.

He tried to get back into painting, boxing, and other hobbies he had pre-Sooyoung. He started hanging out with friends more, Namjoon was more than happy to catch up over some beers from his favorite brewery. He even started talking to Yoongi more. They were work partners, regardless of that, their chatter never went past the needed communication to complete the necessary work. Jungkook started slowly, asking Yoongi if he wanted a coffee while he got his own. Inviting him to lunch with Namjoon. Even making jokes here, and there. It’s not what it was before, but they’re getting there.

He moved out of the apartment that him, and Sooyoung shared. It was difficult, but he’ll make this new space home. It’s definitely smaller than his previous apartment. Cozier, he wants to say. Jungkook fills it up with art that had been put in storage, his salvaged knick knacks, pictures with his friends and family. His parents gift him new kitchenware. His older brother helps paint. Namjoon gives him some new plants to care for, and Yoongi comes over to assemble some furniture because ‘you need the help kid’. A few weeks post-divorce, he feels good, normal. He’s out with his mom at the mall when he finally sees her.

He wants to say she’s more beautiful than he remembers, but all he can focus on is the bump she has. His mom catches his line of sight, “Oh, look at my Yn-ie. She looks beautiful, doesn’t she?” He nods in response. “She’s eight months now, Mrs. Min says it’s a girl. They’re so excited, Hyeri says Yoonie has been talking non-stop about the baby,” his mother chatters. She talks his ear off about the Min baby. The name, the nursery, heck even the baby shower the moms threw as a surprise. He’s happy for her, for them. He ignores the ache in his chest the rest of the outing.

His mother, bless her heart, goes up to Y/n. Asks how she’s doing, how baby min is doing. “Surprisingly energetic,” she jokes, “Yoongi says she gets it from him, but this is the same man that knocks out if he gets comfortable enough on anything.”

While his mom is chatting Y/n up, he takes her in. She cut her hair to a lob, waves a little more defined. Her smile lines are a little more prevalent. Eyes sparkling, a bit tired looking, the baby must be giving her a hard time if it’s kicking up a storm in there. She rubs her belly in comforting motions, as she talks with his mom. He can’t help admiring her features.

“What do you think, kookie?”

Jungkook stared at his mother, and Y/n, “I’m sorry what?”

His mother sighed, “He’s been like this for a bit, sweetie. Nothing sweetheart.”

They keep chatting about the baby. He tells his mom he has to finish his errands. She waves him away with a ‘be careful’ and ‘love you’. Y/n waves goodbye with a shy look. They walk slowly to the nearest bench, his mother’s hands waving around as she speaks.

He doesn’t know how he gets to Y/n’s house. One drink turned into three then six and a half. All doubles, of course. The bartender could tell he was drowning his sorrows, and promptly cut him off as he was ordering his seventh drink, but instead of a double a triple. His angel of a bartender helped him order an Uber to the nearest place he could remember. Once he arrived at the apartment complex, he made the very unsteady way to Yoongi’s and Y/n’s apartment. He knocked on the door heavily. It felt like a long time until Y/n answered.

She looked so pretty. In her cute little pj’s, belly accentuated by the soft material. Her cheeks a little rosy from the effort of walking at this point in her pregnancy.

Surprise filled her face, “Jungkook, what are you doing here?”

He pouts, swaying a bit as he tries to find his footing, “I.. I miss you. It’s been hard these last few months without you.”

“Are you drunk,” Y/n asks worried.

Jungkook hiccups in response, “In my defense, the nice bartender lady cut me off.” Y/n sighs, she could call Mrs. Jeon to come get Jungkook. But she doesn’t want her to see him this inebriated. The feelings of the divorce probably caught up with him and were too overwhelming. Y/n doesn’t know what to do, but decides to take care of Jungkook like she used to.

Y/n takes his hand, and gently guides him to the large side of the L-shape couch. She avoids putting any of Jungkook’s weight on herself while gently, as gently as she can place a drunk man, sitting him. She coaxes Jungkook to slowly drink a full glass of water to sober up, with little difficulty thank goodness. After a moment or two of adjustment on the couch that wouldn’t make her uncomfortable, Y/n settles next to Jungkook. It would be better to be closer to him, as to avoid the unavoidable struggle that movement seems to have these days.

Jungkook must be finding it difficult to sit upright, as he ends up laying down. Feet dangling on the edge, head on the available part of your lap, his face looking away from your belly. He starts to hum quietly, nothing specific really, it’s calming.

“Can you pet my hair, please,” Jungkook mumbles. Y/n nods, “Sure. Your hair has gotten long, I like it. It suits you.”

Jungkook slurs, “Thanks, Sooyoung hated it long. Said it made me look messy.” She hummed in distaste, “She also hated anything that wasn’t to her liking. I’ve missed you too Kook. It’s been weird not having you around.”

He snuggles deeper into her lap finding comfort in her warmth, “I know. You don't know how much I’ve been wanting to call you, and just tell you all the things that happened.”

Y/n nudges Jungkook up, she settles more comfortably into her spot and nudges Jungkook back down. He decides he’s no longer satisfied with looking at the wall in front of him, and with the most grace he can muster he turns to face Y/n’s belly. If he was sober enough he could’ve seen the pink rising in her ears. He grabs her hand and places it back on his head to keep receiving his favorite head scratches. Maybe it’s the whiskey, but he feels like he’s having a staring contest with Y/n’s belly. He’s strangely okay with that, until he feels the (surprisingly) hard kick of baby min on his cheek.

Jungkook lets out a groan, and follows it up with an antagonistic soft poke at the spot the kick came from. “Your kid isn’t even here yet and it’s already bullying me,” he sighs. “You’re supposed to be nice to your elders,” he tells her. Y/n giggles, “She’s a kicker. Sometimes she’ll wake me up in the middle of the night. I don’t know where she got this energy from. My mother in law says her boys weren’t too rowdy, and mom says I wasn't a kicker, but more of a crier. So that’s something to look forward to.”

Jungkook laughs, he wants to say she still is. He looks up at her, “Is it okay if I touch your belly?” Y/n is a little shocked. The few times he’s seen her, he’s never mentioned anything about her pregnancy. She wants to question him, but decides against it. She gives him a soft nod, and guides his hand to her belly. “Be gentle,” Y/n tells him.

Jungkook moves his hand in small, soft circles. Making quiet noises of contentment. A few minutes of silence pass by with no words exchanged. It feels comfortable, even a little nostalgic to how things were pre-marriages. “Kids,” Jungkook says.

“What?” Y/n asks.

“We divorced over kids,” he says more firmly, “Sooyoung wasn’t sure if she wanted kids. You already know I wanted them. We couldn’t come to an agreement of when we would start trying. She wanted to wait because she was up for a promotion at work, and she didn’t want to pass it up by staying home with the kids. I told her I was okay being at home with them, the good thing about my job is that I can work from home, if needed. I could be the stay at home dad, be part time until we were comfortable enough to put them in daycare and go back to full time. She said she’d think about it.”

He sniffles, and buries his face into Y/n’s belly. She starts to caress his hair to comfort him, “It’s okay, take your time.”

Jungkook sniffled a bit more, rubbing little circles on her belly with his thumb, “She said we would talk more about it. A little before you got married we talked about it again, but she kept saying she can’t do her job and be pregnant. I told her she wouldn’t do it herself, I would help her. We were a unit. She refused to talk about it after that. Any time I wanted to have a talk about it, it turned into something bigger and ugly. A few months ago I mentioned that mom had told me you were pregnant.” He paused for a moment, wondering if it was appropriate to go on. Y/n kept playing with his hair, encouraging him to speak when he’s comfortable.

“I made a comment..,” Jungkook mumbles, “I made a comment about how I couldn’t wait for our kids to be running around together. Sooyoung got angry. She said that would never happen. I asked her why, you were still my friend, so is Yoongi. Why wouldn’t I want our kids to be friends too?”

Y/n hummed, not sure how to react to Sooyoung’s statement. “Is that what started the argument?”

He nodded, “Yeah. I got upset, I told her that she can’t keep avoiding my friends, I missed you guys and wanted to be how we were. I wanted you to, at least, be amicable. I didn’t expect her to be best friends with you guys.” Jungkook got quiet once again. He could feel baby Min moving. He wanted to feel what he’s missing these past several months.

“So, clearly she didn’t like us,” Y/n jokes.

Jungkook chuckled dryly, “Clearly. She said how do I expect her to be friends with the person she’ll always be second best to. As well as the people that blamed her for us not being together.”

“I told her Joon and Yoongi don’t blame her for anything,” he said, “She wasn’t second best to anyone, and you’ve been my friend for years. Sooyoung didn’t believe it. I asked her if we all somehow got along, why wouldn’t our kids be friends. She said there wasn’t going to be any kids for yours to be friends with. I asked her what she meant.” Jungkook choked up at the memory, “Sooyoung said after some thinking, she wasn’t sure if she ever wanted kids. She doesn’t know if she can commit herself to that role. She says she has her career ahead of her and I can’t make her be a mom.”

Jungkook started to tear up, “I told her I’m not expecting her to be a stay at home mom. I repeated that I would be a stay at home parent… She… She said she’s not sure if she wants to have kids at all. Sooyoung said it’s too much responsibility.”

He started to sob, his body shaking from the increased intensity. “I couldn’t believe it. When we were dating she said she wanted kids. I’m not upset that she doesn’t want any, it’s her choice. I’m upset that she lied to me about it.”

Y/n’s heart aches for her friend, she knows how much Jungkook wanted kids. Namjoon might be the one buying baby shoes because he finds them cute, but Jungkook has always talked about being a dad. Always talked about how he wanted to be the type of parent his were, that encouraged him to thrive in his likes and talents. He was passionate about it.

“We talked all night. We couldn’t come to any type of resolution. So we decided to separate. This was something that was non-negotiable.”

“Is that what led to the divorce,” Y/n asked.

Jungkook nodded, “She stayed at a coworker’s place that she’s friends with. We didn’t talk for a couple weeks. Sooyoung reached out first. She said this is something she won’t change her mind on. She’s sorry for not being truthful about her stance on kids. We decided to divorce. We settled pretty quickly. It’s signed and official as of last month.”

“I’m sorry kook,” Y/n whispered.

You were sorry, he knew you were. He keeps rubbing your belly, feeling baby Min follow around. Wanting to feel the comfort of having you around.

Jungkook ends up falling in and out of sleep. He doesn’t know how long he lays there for.

“No, I’m fine.”

“He’s asleep right now.”

Who were you talking to?

“No, Yoonie, it's fine. He’s sleeping and he didn’t do anything. I think the divorce finally got to him.”

He heard you pause, but didn’t hear anyone else in the apartment. You must be speaking with Yoongi on the phone.

“No, we just talked about it. He was pretty upset, obviously.”

You continued to play with his hair, brushing out the knots with your fingers. He hummed lowly, snuggling closer to your belly. Baby Min must’ve had the same idea because she was still squirming around. Yoongi assured you he would be home soon with Namjoon to get Jungkook home.

“Y/n?”

“Yes, Kook,” You answered.

He sits up, eyes puffy, and cheeks stained with tears. “Do you ever think about us?”

“Like? Our friendship? Of course, all the time,” you answer.

He scoots closer facing you, and reaches out to hold your hand. “No, I’m talking about us. What we could’ve been.”

“I did, but not anymore,” you answered honestly, “You chose Sooyoung, kook. I wasn’t going to wait forever. I deserved, and still deserve to be happy. And I am happy. You shouldn’t think about the what if’s.”

Jungkook sniffled. “I do,” he whispered, “All the time. I think about what if, I had worked up the courage to confess to you on one of our last movie nights? Things would’ve been different. We would’ve been happy. We would’ve gotten married, and had the wedding you always talked about.” He paused, he’s trying so hard not to cry about it. “We would’ve had those cats you wanted, and we would’ve finally adopted the dog that hangs around the convenience store. We would’ve had a baby. We would’ve been a family. I should’ve said something, shown you how much I loved you. How much I still love you.”

You pulled your hand away from him, “But you didn’t, you chose Sooyoung kook. I loved you, I still love you, but not how you want me to. Maybe things would’ve been different, but it’s too late.”

Jungkook starts to sob, he knows it’s too late. It felt bittersweet to hear that she still loves him.

-

Namjoon takes Jungkook home. He feels everything, yet nothing. Maybe he can start fresh with no what if’s to cling on to.

Joon helps him get cleaned up, and lays him down in his cold bed. He lets himself dream of what could’ve been.

“How are my girls doing?” Jungkook asked, while caressing your growing tummy. “SHE,” you pointed, “is giving mommy a hard time. S’been kicking all morning. She’s definitely YOUR daughter.” Jungkook lets out a sympathetic giggle. Your baby has been a pain in your butt, more like your bladder, since she could move. Mrs. Jeon says her youngest was the exact same, and to expect an energetic baby once she’s out. She’ll be all smiles, and sweet giggles, as well as a pain to put to sleep. Maybe she’ll take after her father and sleep like a log your mother in law jokes. The last few weeks have been a whirlwind of doctors appointments, birthing classes, nesting, nesting, and more nesting. The nursery has changed colors three times, Jungkook was insistent on doing art on the walls to give it a personal touch. Took a whole weekend, but now your baby girl will be slumbering under the stars.

Both of you have gone through the recommended parenting books, gotten advice from the grandmothers and aunties, Jungkook might’ve panicked a little at the repeated visual of you giving birth. But, it’s all part of the process. He’s been enjoying giving little facts he’s been learning from the shared pregnancy tracker.

“Babe, did you know our baby is the size of a cherry today?”

“Hey, by now they grew all their toes.”

“Did you know our baby can pee? In the womb?”

“Jungkook, what the fuck dude?”

Other than the obvious pregnancy issues, things have been smooth sailing. His favorite thing to do these days has been laying his head on your lap caressing your belly. If it was up to him he’d stay there for hours drawing patterns with his fingers, singing to his baby, feeling her movements.

A/N: Heyyyyyyyy~~~ originally I wasn’t gonna do an epilogue, but I got the idea after talking about a headcanon I had with my sister. Happy (super) late birthday to Jungkookie ❤️ hopefully in my next fic involving you, you get to be happy lol. Feedback is appreciated ❤️

Masterlist

[cheri-translates]

[CN] S2 Gavin - The Stories Project

🍒 Warning: Detailed spoilers for content not yet released in EN!🍒

Trigger warning: Mentions of suicide

Features S2 Gavin but contains no spoilers regarding the S2 storyline

This is a continuation of The Broadcast Countdown Project. Do read that first!

[ This was released on 25 August 2021 ]

[ Chapter One ]

Gavin and I are standing outside Door 501 of the 7th block in Pavilion Village.

This is also the home of Zhang Nian, the kidnapper who handed me an anonymous letter in the TV station before eventually committing suicide.

A thorough investigation of the case involving the anonymous kidnapper and his suicide has ended. The STF has also removed the cordoning around the scene.

I liaised with the TV station, planning to showcase the incident from start to end in a special episode of the show which will be aired in the last episode of “Inquiries”.

Gavin: This used to be a crime scene. If you’re afraid, wait for me here. If you need any materials, I can head inside and find them for you.

MC: It’s okay, I don’t avoid such things... Also, I have a feeling that there’s definitely something behind this case worth seeing in person.

The husband and wife who were kidnapped had related the details to me, and mentioned that even though Zhang Nian had kidnapped them, they weren’t treated harshly at all.

It’s just that Zhang Nian was deaf and couldn't speak. He could only communicate with them with hems and haws, which ended up frightening them.

In hindsight, they realised that Zhang Nian never harboured malicious intentions towards them.

MC: What was Zhang Nian’s goal and what did he want to tell us? The answers to these riddles... they might be hidden here.

Gavin pushes the door open, and we step into Zhang Nian’s house.

Gavin: This place was sealed off since the incident, which is why the arrangement of furniture we’re looking at is the same as when he was still alive.

In contrast to the dim and cold space I had imagined, the living room is well lit.

The cream coloured wood flooring, a white cloth sofa, a simple wall painting of the ocean... all of these elements set off one another in the indolent afternoon sunlight, displaying a warm atmosphere. 

MC: This place gives me such a strange feeling... the person who lived here must have really loved life...

Gavin: His fiancée decorated this place.

Gavin taps on a magnet on the refrigerator. Tiny colourful slips of paper are stuck underneath zebra, bunny, and elephant magnets. 

“Special discount for wax gourds on Tuesday, special discount for pork ribs on Thursday.” - It’s as though the weekly booklet of discounts from the supermarket had been copied down.

“Invitation cards, wedding dress, decide on the hotel.” - The ring which had rolled onto the zebra crossing in the news immediately flashes across my mind.

Aside from that, they have simple recipes on them.

MC: What a pity. If that incident didn’t happen, they would have had a perfect life here.

Gavin: All the furnishings and decor came to a halt when the incident happened to Xu Wen. He did everything he could to retain traces of her existence. As for his own life...

Gavin opens the refrigerator, showing me that it’s more or less empty aside from condiments which had been used a few times. 

White cold mist hover in the empty space, out of sync with the warm tones in the living room.

Gavin: This too.

He opens a wall cabinet to reveal a few boxes of ordinary flavoured cup noodles. The incandescent light in the cabinet is chilly, shining on plastic film surrounding the cup noodles.

Imagining the taste of cup noodles submerged in MSG, I once again turn towards the recipes stuck on the refrigerator.

Gavin shuts the cabinet, then points at the bedroom.

Gavin: MC, I want to show you something.

-

[ Chapter Two ]

Gavin: During the investigation, we found these.

Gavin guides me to the bookcase, then pulls open a drawer at the bottom.

MC: A disability ID, marriage certificate, graduation certificate, guarantee card for a hearing aid and a bank book...

Gavin: We checked his background. He grew up in an orphanage. 

Gavin: Back then, the orphanage didn’t have adequate facilities, and didn’t have teachers or special medical setups for guiding people with hearing issues. He was always reclusive in the orphanage, and didn't have friends. 

Gavin: When he was ten years old, people from the orphanage and community sent him to school.

While saying this, Gavin retrieves a pile of books from the drawer and shows them to me - they are all sketchbooks, and the pages have long since turned yellow. It’s evident that they were here for a very long time.

MC: He can draw?

Gavin: In these books, there are some sketches of streets and still life. Some are comics modelled after existing works. Although I don’t know much about art, I think he could draw pretty well.

While flipping through the pages, I find myself affected by the exquisite details conveyed in these drawings.

Perhaps because he didn’t go through systematic training, he wasn’t limited to one style in the way he expressed his art.

A distinct and unique style leaving a deep impression seems to break through the sheets of paper, revealing the emotions the artist had hidden in his heart.

MC: ...he must have been a really talented artist. 

Gavin points at the wall - there’s a sketch hanging on it. It takes up almost half of the wall, and it’s mounted in a white frame.

MC: The person in the drawing is Xu Wen.

MC: ...it’s drawn really well.

Gavin releases a “mm”, and is unable to hold back a sigh.

Gavin: Extraordinarily well.

It doesn’t matter if it resembles the actual person. It doesn’t matter if it was meticulous or not. 

The person in the drawing has her eyes curved upwards with a smile on her face, and she looks like any other young girl you can find in a crowd.

But the limitless gentleness and happiness contained in her eyes - that’s a unique feature belonging only to one person.

Gavin: They seemed to be schoolmates. I read through Xu Wen’s background - she graduated from the same school for deaf students. But there weren't any questionable points in this case, which is why we didn’t probe further. If you want to know the specifics, we'd have to investigate again.

My heart hovers in the air, wanting to figure out everything about this matter.

But from the STF’s perspective, this case is already closed...

Gavin gives me an affirmative gaze.

Gavin: I know what you're going to say. I want to continue listening to this story too. He wasn’t able to speak, but he left behind a voice that he hoped for others to hear.

After a pause, he turns his head, once again glancing at the drawing hanging on the wall.

Gavin: I can feel such emotions.

Gavin says this softly, and the light in his eyes grow deeper.

Floating dust in the surroundings gather on Xu Wen's portrait. We stand in this warm and tranquil space, as though we can sense their story surging forth without a sound.

-

[ Chapter Three ]

After this, Gavin and I gather information about Zhang Nian and Xu Wen from various sources.

A few days alter, we arrange to meet at a cafe to exchange materials collected from our individual investigations.

MC: I found the teacher from the school for deaf students. He said that when Zhang Nian first arrived at the school, he didn’t even know how to use sign language. He was gloomy and blue. 

MC: Only Xu Wen knew how to converse with him, and would teach him sign language after school. 

MC: After learning of his interest in drawing, she used her pocket money to buy him colouring pencils and drawing paper in secret without her parents’ knowledge. 

MC: They had a pretty happy time in school. Zhang Nian even organised a small exhibition in school, and many teachers and students supported it. 

MC: But after graduation, his days became a little more difficult.

He didn’t have a place to stay, and he couldn’t find work. While Xu Wen could rely on her parents for financial assistance, he could only rely on himself. 

MC: During this time, Xu Wen seemed to have been using her parents’ money to buy him stationery for drawing, and even accompanied him to set up a stall for his paintings...

MC: But they couldn’t earn money at all.

Gavin opens a few files in front of me.

Gavin: Afterwards, he found a job in a finance company. He went around conducting financial transactions for people, and earned commissions based on the number of successful transactions.

Gavin: Not long after, this company was reported for illegal fund-raising. Both he and his boss were jailed for three years.

I recall seeing his ID from before - a crew cut and a white shirt along with a black suit which looked tidy and fitting.

Turns out he wasn’t working at a bank...

Gavin: Even during his time in jail, Xu Wen never gave up on him. She’d visit him every weekend and converse with him via sign language from across the glass.

Gavin: Of course, Zhang Nian behaved very well in jail, and gave his own drawings to many prison guards. After he was out of jail, he found a stable job.

Separated by the scorching 3pm afternoon sunlight, the gaze Gavin gives me is deep with a tranquil light.

Gavin: Do you know why he planned this kidnapping and handed you the video clip anonymously?

I shake my head. This has been my biggest question.

Gavin takes out a few photographs from the file.

Gavin: Before the case was closed, these documents couldn’t be disclosed to the public, which is why I didn’t tell you at the time.

I scrutinise one of the photographs - an A3-sized sheet of paper is stuck on a door, with a few lines written on it.

From the format of the digits, they appear to be bank account numbers.

Gavin: He was behind this door.

MC: Then these bank account numbers...

Gavin: We checked them.

He points at the first line of digits, then speaks calmly.

Gavin: The first account is for an animal treatment centre. It treats stray cats and dogs which meet with accidents. 

Gavin: This one is for a 10 year old girl with hearing issues. She lives with a granny who sells fruits, and is currently saving money for surgery.

Gavin: The both of them had a habit of sending money to these accounts.

Gavin: Even though Zhang Nian continued sending money to them after Xu Wen passed away, he could only maintain his own livelihood with his income.

MC: What you’re saying is, if the video camera could capture this... and document them properly so that more people would know about them...

Perhaps he could help these people. Even if it was for the last time.

MC: ...but that was such a complex method. There was no need to do a good deed in such a roundabout manner, and even kidnap people to reach that goal.

Gavin silently picks up one of the photos from the table - it’s a note that Zhang Nian wrote before he committed suicide. A short message is written on it - It’s Wen Wen’s birthday today.

Gavin: Aside from that, he more or less did think of seeking revenge.

Gavin’s finger remains on the photograph.

Gavin: In Zhang Nian’s life, Xu Wen was the only one who gave him warmth. She was his lover. 

Gavin: After losing such a person, it isn’t difficult to guess what kind of an attitude he had when facing this world, and facing the people who caused such an ending.

Gavin: When people are in pain, their hatred will involuntarily become amplified.

Gavin: From this perspective, at least he didn't take things even further.

Gavin’s voice is dull, as though he’s mulling over something, or affected by their misfortune.

I can’t help but reach across the table, gently bumping the tip of his finger with mine. 

Silence permeates the air. He curls his finger slightly, hooking it around mine.

-

[ Chapter Four ]

The files, photographs, and a few scattered pages of a notebook are spread on the table randomly, as though illustrating their entire story in front of me.

The car accident was a tragedy, but it wasn’t the only tragedy. I find myself hesitating to speak. When I open my mouth, I sigh.

MC: Xu Wen was such a good person. She tugged onto him from beginning to end, and never gave up on him for a single moment. She actually managed to pull him out of the abyss.

Even though she couldn’t hear nor speak, she used her gentle gaze to heal the person she loved.

Gavin tidies the items on the table one by one, storing them properly.

His composed voice is mixed with ruefulness. He seems to be slightly moved, but has more or less come to terms with his emotions.

Gavin: From the perspective of an observer, there were many dismal and extreme traits in Zhang Nian’s personality. This is a point that can’t be denied.

Gavin: However, he was abandoned from the moment he was born. The path he walked on all these years, and the world that he saw - those are things we’d find difficult to relate with.

Gavin: Perhaps from the time he knew about the world, he realised that living was already something requiring courage.

Probably seeing such stories again and again when handling various cases, Gavin’s attitude is objective and calm.

Gavin: No matter what attitude he had when he made this decision, he shouldn’t have done so.

In contrast to the practised manner in which Gavin handles his emotions, I remain immersed in the regretful ending experienced by the two.

MC: Aside from her, he had nothing else.

The furniture, the recipes underneath the magnets, and the drawing hung on the wall... these images flash past me one by one.

MC: If I were the one who experienced this, and the only important person in my life was gone, I’d lose my connection with this world. Perhaps death would be a form of liberation.

Before I can finish speaking, Gavin raises his voice, cutting off my impending sigh.

Gavin: It wouldn’t.

He looks at me resolutely and decisively.

Gavin: No matter when, death will never be a form of liberation. Pain can always be treated. 

Gavin: Whether it’s because someone important is no longer around, or if you were to lose contact with someone, it’s inevitable to carry some pain.

Gavin: Perhaps time is needed, and perhaps meeting a certain someone is needed, to gradually put an end to such pain, and to use various methods to put an end to such pain.

Gavin: But things will always get better.

Gavin seals the brown paper bag which is filled with materials related to Zhang Nian and Xu Wen, then places it at the corner of the table which has been warmed by the sun.

I watch as his palm presses against the paper bag, a moment of hesitation surging past his slightly lowered gaze. Almost at the same time, he looks up at me -

There’s only certainty in his eyes.

Gavin: No matter when, never give up on yourself. Xu Wen was constantly pulling him out of the abyss. He shouldn’t have given up like that.

-

[ Chapter Five ]

By the time Gavin and I walk out of the cafe, much of the sun’s heat has dispersed. Wind blows over from the river, and it’s refreshing and soothing.

Countless little flowers with names I’m unaware of bloom among the grass along the street, swaying in the evening breeze of midsummer.

MC: The weather is really nice today.

After sitting down for an entire afternoon, I can’t help but stretch, relaxing my shoulders and back.

Before I can take a few steps, I suddenly remember the moment I met Zhang Nian face-to-face, causing me to halt in my footsteps. He had walked towards me in a timid manner, a sincere and apologetic expression on his face.

He had handed me a letter, its edges creased from being pinched. Then, he turned away hurriedly before running away.

Too much time has passed. Even his Evol has lost its effectiveness.

Gavin senses that something is off about me, and draws a few steps closer. I wave my hand at him, signalling that I’m fine.

Having second thoughts, I can’t help but sigh with emotion.

MC: If only Zhang Nian was willing to contact me earlier and tell me about what exactly happened...

MC: If only I could tell him how nice today’s weather is. I wonder if he’d have made such a decision.

Gavin responds decisively from beside me.

Gavin: He wouldn’t. 

Gavin: If someone told him that the weather would be nice today, he’d have definitely held on for a while longer.

Gavin: But he couldn’t always wait for someone to pull him along and bring him out of the abyss. He had to muster his courage and walk out by himself.

I nod quietly, gripping the notebook in my hand. 

MC: Gavin, aside from the original plan for this episode, I think I’d need to add some new content...

Gavin halts in his footsteps, immediately reading the thoughts in my heart.

Gavin: Are you thinking about how there are many people in the world like Zhang Nian?

MC: Mm.

There are definitely some people who are shouldering pain alone, and are hesitating at the crossroads of life and death.

MC: Although this tragedy can no longer be salvaged, we could prevent even more tragedies from occurring.

I turn towards the direction of the river, looking afar at the boundless sky.

MC: I want to tell them about the beautiful scenery all around the world, and the beauty of the four seasons.

MC: Tell them about the colours of sunset, the sounds of the ocean...

MC: And tell them that as long as they’re willing to wait for a while longer, there are still people on earth who will love them.

MC: I want their eyes to be able to see the world that I see. I want them to believe that this world is always worth it.

Realising how overly idealistic and visionary my words are, I give Gavin a smile.

MC: ...I might have sounded too exaggerated.

Gavin: Nope. It will be a very meaningful show.

He suddenly reaches out, combing my hair which has been blown messy by the wind. His fingers linger on the ends of my hair for a long time.

The corners of his lips curl upwards slightly, and he brings me into his arms.

Gavin: Thank you.

Gavin: This world is always worth it.

His voice is far too soft. For a moment, I wonder if I misheard.

MC: What did you say? I couldn’t hear you clearly.

Gavin chuckles, then raises his volume.

Gavin: Since the weather’s pretty good, want to go for a drive?

MC: Did you drive here today?

Gavin: Mm. It’s rare to have such nice weather, so I took the car out for a drive.

MC: Wow~ That is rare. It’s been such a long time since I sat in Captain Gavin’s car.

Gavin takes my hand, striding with large steps as he leads me forward.

Gavin: Let’s go. The car’s in front.

- End -

Filming for the special episode of “Inquries” came to an end. When the final episode aired, the show became a trending topic. After watching it, many members of the audience provided assistance and support for organisations targeted at disabled individuals. Although Zhang Nian and Xu Wen have already left this world, they’ve enabled people who experience difficulties in life to obtain warmth. Such warmth continues to last. I guess being able to allow more people to believe that the world is worth loving, and to do what little they can to help those in need is what it means to be a person in the media industry.

More S2 content: here