#not the japanese fashion

[goatmace]

ENTIRE BLOG TW FOR SEXUAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE, SELF HARM, ETC. THESE STORIES ARE NOT FOR YOUR SEXUAL GRATIFICATION. PLEASE DO NOT MISUSE THEM.

THESIS

Lolita culture has ruined my life. My views on love, sex, self worth, and relationships have been irreparably damaged and every day, I try to unlearn all of it while trying not to hurt.

After engaging with and romanticizing the source material at 15, I allowed several men to take advantage of my body, because I was under the impression that by doing this, I would gain a protective and loving adult figure in my life, which did not happen. These men just wanted to take advantage of my body and didn’t care whether their actions or words inflicted emotional damage upon me.

I know it’s not “my fault”, and I was groomed by hetero-patriarchal sensibilities that have been established long before I was born, but it feels so hard not to take responsibility. It’s the only power I can exercise after so many years of looking back on these memories and feeling horrified. I feel like I should have been smarter, and looking back on my past writings, it seemed like I knew that the men I pursued didn’t have my best interests in mind, but I was willing to expose myself to violence and abuse because I was lonely and I wanted to escape from my life which was so painful.

I guess this is my long winded way of saying this blog is dedicated to the writings of someone who was tricked into thinking that a relationship with an older man would be attainable, healing, and supportive. The stories I wrote from 2019 up until recently display not only the emotional turmoil of my early twenties, but my attitudes towards sexual relationships and men in general. Fanfiction has always provided me with an arena to safely play out dangerous situations in which I could exercise my self defense, when in real life, I had no confidence to protect myself at all. I could also be vulnerable and express emotions I had no other outlet for.

These stories are currently unfinished and will remain unfinished, as I don’t share the mindset of the version of me who created them.

I’m sorry if no one else finds this interesting, and I certainly don’t mean to preach. If this is something you are going through, I won’t try to talk you out of pursuing those relationships, because many people tried to talk me out of it and I ignored them all. I just hope maybe you can extract something from this that you can relate to, and hopefully find some inner peace. It’s better to be alone than in bad company.

[miamaimania]

Field to Fabric: Takahiro Hasegawa's Ode to Linen in 'One Field, One T-shirt'

[glitterbarbie]



[zegalba]

"Pearl Stream" Necklace by Mikimoto. Japanese Akoya Pearls body necklace

[sylveonetta]

BtSSB Osaka Exclusive coord for picnic with friends :)

More incredible photos my friend took of me ❤

(Not covering my face in any of these because these photos are gorgeous)

[princess-bimbogirl]

[tokyo-fashion]

Chinese Physics Student in Jean Paul Gaultier in Harajuku, Tokyo

Physics student (with a focus on next-generation battery technology) Stella is from China and currently attending college in London. She was visiting Tokyo when we spotted her on the street in Harajuku. Stella's cyber-inspired style includes a cyber dots dress by legendary fashion designer Jean Paul Gaultier with Gentle Monster glasses, New Rock boots, My Melody rings, Vivienne Westwood armour ring, and silver horns.

Stella and her brands are tagged on Instagram

[0ox0x0xo0]

Toshihiko Takamizawa's custom guitars

[n0tchiii]

A closer point ꒰ঌ ໒꒱

[53v3nfrn5]

SCOOP x Yoshitomo Nara: Stacked Heel Leather Boots (2004)

[eroticlamb]

@ http_www.yuhobin.co.kr on instagram ♡

[mourntomidnight]

Love her

Really wish there was more info and visuals about the Trance Gals

[r08s]

[restingcorpse]

[nuzzle]

The production studio at "Baby, the Stars Shine Bright" featured in an episode of Tokyo Fashion Express. Their designs typically require up to 50 sewing patterns, which is about 5 times as many as the average dress. Detailed notes on measurements and specifications are written for the sewing factory.

The sewing factory is in Ibaraki prefecture. For more than 20 years they've been sewing clothes exclusively for BTSSB. 17 people work there, most of them being veterans age 60 or over. Due to the complexity they work in teams for ironing, sewing lace and ribbons, as well as completing gathers and frills.

The manager of the factory, Sumiko Watahiki, says in an interview: "There's tons of gather, lace, and layering, which requires a lot of sewing. At first, I doubted I could do it! It was that hard. (But) I'm always impressed with the adorable designs when I see the finished products or while I work."

[ouhshc]