#not that theres anything wrong with the ladder i do that too

[scikeyuri]

fellow autists saying how theyre all for unmasking and being weird till my autism is being freaky about horror media and not talking just a little too enthusiastically about kids media

[anopenbookunderlockandkey]

The 118 Sauce Chat

Eddie: I definitely make spaghetti sauce extremely wrong but I’m not going to stop

Chim: please elaborate on the wrong way to make spaghetti sauce; it sounds highly entertaining?

Eddie: 1 chop onion and put in a pot

Eddie: Add 1 or 2 cans of diced tomatoes. Whatever makes the ratio of onion look right.

Eddie: Add a ridiculous amount of frozen peas. Peas should make up a notable portion of this sauce.

Eddie: Add frozen corn also if you wanna be real fancy. If I have bacon I’ll ad that too. But I very rarely have bacon.

Eddie: Cook on HIGH

Eddie: While sauce is cooking, grab the nearest bottle of mixed spices that isn't obviously for desserts. Add some. How much? I dunno, enough that you feel like you've added seasoning so it's technically cooking. (For me this is most often a mix called Moroccan, but it could be anything. Buck reorganised my kitchen recently so tonight it was something called Pizza Topping.)

Eddie: If you happen to have green herbs lying around, add those too. Whatever you have on hand that's green

Eddie: Let the sauce boil on HIGH until all the water is gone. Stir occasionally so the saucepan will be easier to clean later. Serve on cooked spaghetti noodles with no cheese

Eddie: Today I added a new step called "while the sauce is cooking, duck out for 15 seconds to text the group chat about spaghetti sauce, then get distracted and forget you are cooking." This adds a novel Extremely Burnt edge to the flavour profile.

Chim: I am not Italian, or of Italian descent by *any* stretch of the imagination.

I am also not one of those "cooking purists", who believes that everything must be done in a specific/ traditional way (unless you are making a cooking video with the title "how to make x" in which case if you don't specify mid video that your way is not traditional god help you).

I am a firm believer in "If it tastes good, then it is correct for you".

Chim: Except in this case

Bobby: This hurts every cooking bone in my body. The latent ancestors in my soul. The judgmental elf in my brain just bit a cyanide capsule

Hen: Why? The spices.

Using a different spice mix every time, based on what is ready at hand just ... hurts

Eddie: *sends SPICE IS SPICE meme*

Ravi: absolutely deranged, Eddie. Food crimes.

Bobby: Hey Eddie, looks like you forgot to mention the part where you obviously sweated the onions, because nobody would make spaghetti sauce that had straight up raw onions boiled in tomato juices.

Bobby: RIGHT????

Bobby: Please Eddie

Eddie: I don’t know what sweating the onions means

Hen: It means. It means you cook em a little in a pan with a bit of oil first

Eddie: A pan? How many dishes do you want me to have to wash here?

Hen: I mean you can also do it in the same pot you're making the spaghetti sauce in! The important thing is the onions get a little cooked before the wet stuff goes in, so they're not so wet and limp and boiled....

Eddie: Honestly this depends entirely on whether I remember to chop an onion first or I find the can opener for the tomatoes first. The ingredients go in in whatever order they go in.

Ravi: Eddie, who hurt you???

Eddie: A pack of wild chefs herded my mother off a cliff

Chim: Theres probably a hit out on you for this

Eddie: What kind of stupid idiot would waste money assassinating someone who's so clearly going to accidentally poison themself for free at some point

Bobby: hi Eddie, big fan of your firefighting, this is the sauce equivalent of the running up a metal ladder in a lightning storm to try to pull up a 6’0” tall man instead of lowering him to the ground

-Athena

Eddie: Athena, that is the meanest review my cooking has ever received

Chim: congratulations you found the worst way to do it! this feels like a spaghetti recipe made by AI before it got really sophisticated

-Maddie

Eddie: this group chat’s hate mail game is insane

Ravi: at this point please just eat every ingredient raw… please

Eddie: Do I look like Tony Abbott to you

Buck: As a former Committer of Food Crimes, I have decided to make this sauce this weekend after I have a chance to go to the store. I will report back.

Eddie: Excellent, I look forward to vindication.

Hen: No one's going to vindicate your boiled onion in cinnamonny tomato juice on noodles, Eddie

Eddie: Not cinnamon. Cinnamon is a dessert spice. You use the nearest non-dessert spice.

Ravi: cinnamon is absolutely not a dessert spice

Eddie: Yes it is! It's for muffins and pancakes and fruit pies!

Chim: Cinnamon powder is absolutely a dessert “spice” and Eddie if your cooking is this bad I can’t imagine your baked abominations

Eddie: I put lemon juice in everything I bake that isn't bread

Written for the only two gremlins (endearment) who find this as entertaining as I do @professionalprocrastinator22 and @gravelyhalversobbing

Inspired by:

[simplytombstone]

sobland oc, ill loredump a bit below

so, Waker was interested in all things occult (or whatever is closest to that concept in sobland anyway) and was completely convinced that something more (something malicious?) was hidden somewhere and he was determined to find it. why? probably just to scratch his curiosity, or maybe to prove a point (mordred did not share his same enthusiasm on this topic)

he was correct that something was hidden, though he didnt realise that what he was searching for was a deserted wasteland, rather than the cursed realm he was probably imagining. plus that the greater spirit that he had researched in ancient writings and imagery was, in fact, dead, and would not be able to grant him any wishes or gift him divine knowledge or anything like that (plus it wouldn't have been able to do that even if it were alive)

also, Waker was Mordred's best friend, though later on their friendship was strained due to Waker's increasing paranoia/dedication and superstition (also a bit of unrequited love)

he lacked direction in life, and dedicated every moment trying to find out how to get to this realm (that he named Telo). theres some gaps here because i havent quite worked all the kinks out, but to wrap it up he does actually manage to find an entrance, and convinces mordred to come with him (again, likely to prove a point)

Waker, upon finally stepping into this realm he had so tirelessly searched for, was left with absolutely nothing. an empty wasteland with an endless ocean, nothing living that he could see asides from the Mother Occulent tree (which intrigued him at first, but she refused to speak or interact at all with the two, so she was proved useless to him)

Mordred, proved wrong, was actually pretty happy with this discovery because well, he was standing in an alternate realm! thats cool, even if he previously didnt believe it existed, but he still wasn't very moved with this new information (and that probably landed some blows to Waker's ego)

defeated, waker and mordred gathered some fruit and started to head back. their entrance was high up in the sky and they had only brought a rickety rope ladder. you can probably see where this is going. right as mordred barely makes it to the top, the ladder breaks and waker falls

mordred just continues the way he came (though faster and more panicked) and never turns back. why he did this, who knows! maybe he thought he was in danger, maybe he didnt realise waker had fell, maybe he just wanted out as fast as possible and he didnt care if waker followed, i dont know. waker was "missing" from that day forward and only mordred (and one other oc coming soon..) knows what happened to him

now, the atmosphere of telo is harsh for full-natural beings like waker, and in the years that he spent there, surviving solely off of occulent fruit and whatever liquid even makes up the ocean around telo, his mind and body obviously couldn't go unchanged. physically he became "immortal" as in he cant age anymore, just like the semi-natural beings (ie. occulent trees) and also he went crazy, sure, but thats obvious i didnt need to say that for anyone to assume as much

the mother occulent tree started talking to him at this point (not that its clear if he can even understand what shes saying anymore). shes not too fond of him (she pities him more than anything) and really only sees him as some kind pet that she didnt want in the first place

theres a bit more but ill explain it once i make the other oc thats necessary to finish wakers story off

[alicentsgf]

Things the americanised internet thinks is cute:

Dark Academia (photos of white kids in fancy uniforms at british private schools/redbrick universities)

Cottagecore (loads of photos of upper/middle class british gardens, houses, and villages)

British period dramas (literally just members of the gentry/nobility wafting around looking elegant)

Things the americanised internet thinks is funny and/or gross:

the british working class accent (notably the Multicultural London English dialect)

'chavs'

any british poverty food - baked beans on toast, cheap cut pies, chip butties, etc

pretty much any british regional accent (i know you cant understand louis from one direction pls just shut up about it. the upper class monopolises the media and arts so naturally you're more used to their accent)

when british people have bad teeth (dental care is not covered by the NHS and many working-class people cannot afford care out-of-pocket)

that the national dish is a curry. even though its a specific dish created (or at the very least heavily adapted) in the UK by the British Bangladeshi community? I lose my shit over this one. Like seriously the way you guys talk sometimes its like you think 'british' is synonomous with 'white'. You can't just erase entire communities to fit your narrative. I won't get too much into the racial aspects of all of these points but it's important to note jamaican, african, and south asian immigrants have brought a lot to british working class culture specifically. Like... you guys think its bad that they continued to enjoy their own cuisine and share it with the people around them once they got here? I swear some of you go so far with cultural appropriation you come right back around to 'everyone should go back where they came from'.

I understand most of you aren't surrounded by the cultural framework to understand how classist you sound talking about modern britain, but you are not immune to british propaganda just because you do not live here, in fact you're probably less immune as you (somewhat understandably) do not have the cultural knowledge to notice the red flags. But ignorance isn't a good enough reason to propogate classism thoughtlessly. I'm not saying you can't engage with elements of cottagecore or dark academia, but you definitely can't put repackaged aspects of middle and upper class british culture on a pedestal and then shit on all the aspects associated with the working class its so blatantly fucked up. Theres a good reason a lot of British people get so touchy about strangers on the internet mocking the rhotic british accents, americans just don't understand it because class-specific accent privilege doesn't exist within your cultural framework in the same way. You clearly all decided British people can't take a joke, but honestly it's just you're being a lot more offensive than you realise.

Do you not see how deeply wrong it is that so many of you seem to enjoy the superior feeling you get from trampling another culture? You guys will straight-up whitewash britain just so you don't feel guilty about it. You clearly think you're punching up but you're not, being british does not ensure affulence or 'whiteness' any more than being american does, and whenever any of you goes to say anything about Britain in a non-historical context all that comes out is pure classist ignorance as you leave middle/upper class britain absoloutely untouched. So educate yourselves, please. Working-class americans have more in common with working-class brits than they do anyone above them on the social ladder in the US.

[lastwave]

no energy or patience to write a full character study in character with plot. but i will write a lengthy post analyzing seward and his abusive tendencies because my autism rules. and unfortunately to write a good rewrite you have to have a good grasp on ur characters . so! under the read more . i have analyzed him. i break up my analyses in. semi chronological order

1. lucy

so like. seward's secondary motivation (the motivation that is easily pinpointed to keeping the character in the story) is lucy. not just because of his character but also the misogyny around lucy as a character but thats a whole other post. it'd be really easy to end it here and say sewards main motivation throughout the novel is an unrequited love and sense of dedication to her memory. but that leaves him very flat and a lot of his interactions with the main cast unexplained (how he acts with the other male leads, how he treats renfield, the fact even his proposal was so laden with self hate it became a guilt trip).

so then i need to ask. why does he propose to lucy? does he love her? it doesn't seem like it. in his proposal, he doesn't talk about lucy as a person, he talks about what she does for him. that it would make him sad if she turned him down, that he would be the happiest man in the world if she said yes. intentional or not, this isn't a profession of love, its emotional leverage. i mean. imagine if someone proposed to you like that. also keeping in mind that this is in the victorian era, its frankly a dangerous situation to put lucy in. had she not been sure that arthur was going to propose later, she wouldn't really be at liberty to say no, considering how much weight mens perceptions of a woman impacted how everyone in your social circle saw you in victorian high society. seward wouldn't even have to directly do anything, the people around her would deem her cold and uncaring for turning down the nice wealthy man propositioning her. it wouldn't even be a conscious decision on sewards part . point being, for a novel that writes a great example of a loving man in the victorian ages (jonathan), seward doesn't measure up. which leads me to my next point (i didnt even get to mention how he talks about her dead body, gross, but remember that. ok.)

2. authority figures, expectations and self esteem

so again we ask. why is he proposing? well. hes a wealthy, unmarried man nearing his 30s in victorian england. simply put that was seen as fucking weird. people start asking whats wrong with you that so many families turn you away. and seward cares a lot about his image. his image and accolades are half of what he talks about. theres three characters that are higher up the social ladder than seward is. arthur, avh, and renfield* (he gets hid own section). debatably quincey too but to be honest i think he just regards quincey as a curveball of a guy. and theres a lot of subtext implying quinceys an outlaw. again, another post.

easiest to break down is his dynamic with avh. he fawns to avh because to him, he's an authority figure. he's asking for his teacher's input, for approval. really thats what seward wants from avh, approval, that for one reason or another avh can't directly give (amsterdam medical laws had no bearings on wether or not a british citizen could be a doctor. avh is always trying to use lateral thinking exercises to get a message across to seward, that seward keeps missing. he seems used to this. this tidbit will be relevant later.)

secondly, arthur and quincey. lumping them together because their interactions with seward are kinda few and far between. seward fawns to them though, always speaking highly of arthur and quincey (more than enough examples in the text i shouldn't have to cite).

and you have to ask why. again, it goes back to his position in society. it's because he's expected to. you can't criticize someone above you, and it'd be even better to be in their good graces. he makes himself small, palatable to almost everyone we see him come across. its not a conscious decision, but he still does it. and you have to ask why. just like you have to ask why he refuses to take care of himself in his own privacy. just like you have to ask why he pursued medicine, psychology specifically.

that is where my thesis about his entire character comes in.

the fact of the matter is that seward aims to be someone everyone can like, that everyone will be proud of. when he talks about psychology, he doesn't talk about it with any sort of love for the craft itself, but rather the acclaim he could get. he talks about sonography with more love than he does medicine. psychology was in its very infancy, considered the cutting edge of medicine. they were still talking about fucking phrenology. in this pursuit, though, he lost what made him a person that people want to know. how well does any of the main cast know him, really? barring avh, who was there to see this whole development.

he wants to be liked. but he doesn't know the person he wants to like him is himself. hes a black hole.

3. renfield

"but hugh, you said he was an abuser, that doesn't sound like an abuser" that's because anyone can be abuser, especially when given institutional power.

renfield is everything that seward hates. hes smart, hes of good standing, he had friends, and yet and still he is unliked and unwanted by the world around him, and yet he is still assured of his personhood, of what defines him.

this is because renfield is psychotic. and seward is a psychologist. sewards been given the societal "go ahead" to be as shit to renfield as he wants, to exact everything he cant punish himself for onto renfield.

and, for the record, his abuses aren't even standard for the time. so stop using that as a justification lol. private asylums, like the one seward runs, at the time had a rudimentary idea of "don't encourage or argue with the delusion" (hey remember when seward considered encouraging renfields delusions just to see the end result?) and straightjackect confinement (still abuse. by the way.) was limited to a few hours by most guidelines (remember when he left him in a straightjacket for an entire day?)

and it just gets worse when he realizes he has parallels to renfield (both pursuing something unattainable, renfield wants undeath and seward wants to be liked by everyone). he won't hurt himself, so he will hurt renfield, because he can get away with it without hurting the reputation he worked so hard to make.

he cant stand the fact he has anything in common with a psychotic man, and that that psychotic man (who he fundamentally views as lesser.) once had what he never did. and you can only partially blame it on the times, bedlams reform happened nearly two fucking hundred years before the novel takes place. us psychotic people being. yknow. people is not a new idea

abusers arent going to be a caricature of evil. intentional or not, seward is actually a really well written example of an abuser, because abusers are people, and you'll rarely be able to just.. pick them out of a crowd.

[ochomachuu]

DO OUR GIRL TODOMATSU PLEASE PLEASDEE

SSKDJFKS SORRY THIS IS SO LATE!!! ILL STILL DO THE REST OF EM. EVENTUALLY.

send me a character: todomatsu!

favorite thing about them: everything

but for real i guess how complex and interesting he is?? like there are so many facets to his personality and so we get so many flavours of totty. hes a sly little bitch, hes a sweetheart, hes a nag, hes a crybaby, hes blunt and callous, hes a goofy mf with a loud ass cackle, hes an angry dude who screams a lot, etc.

like you can probably name a bunch of "contradictory" traits that he can exemplify both of, eg: honest/dishonest, driven/lazy, self-preserving/self-destructive, realist/idealistic, logical/impulsive, sociable/lonely, mean callous bitch/the sweetest baby bro. hes so entertaining to watch and also has a lot of neat tendencies ive only picked up on recently, like apologizing when he doesn't think he did anything wrong, self-destructing for the sake of others, self-destructing for the sake of screwing over others... HE CONTAINS MULTITUDES.

i think when most people think of him, they just think of his cutesy + sly shtick, but by default hes not really like that most of the time. hes just a guy. to me he feels like an actual person, and i find him extremely relatable.

i also love how a lot of his more genuine acts of kindness arent immediately obvious and he doesnt always expect something in return! he is so full of love and care but is also inarguably. bastard. sometimes when he does things from a place of love he’s not kind about it so it doesn’t register as caring, like all the times he nags his bros or tells them an unpleasant truth in a harsh way. my favourite characters are pretty much never the characters that are just nice and sweet, so todomatsu is really really perfect to me because he's a snarky little shit who is crafty and self-serving on the surface, but he also makes me wanna 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 once i start looking deeper into things.

like he actually has a lot of little moments where hes just. a sweetheart? his “evil” moments are very fun and memorable and what made him stand out to me at first but when i rewatch older episodes theres a lot of little things that i hadnt fully appreciated before.

also he is just a funny guy. i love how he is “the smart, manipulative one”, but he has exactly one plan at all times and it doesnt even work out most of the time. he loses his cool extremely easily and proceeds to do impulsive shit, either bc hes panicking or bc he is fucking FUMING.

but when his plans do seem to work out its a treat to watch and i feel very proud. like good for you, you crafty little bastard.

i also respect how practical he is and how he makes an effort to improve himself and climb the social ladder! he hasnt had much success and is still undoubtedly a loser despite his efforts but i respect how he puts himself out there to face rejection. i like to think that his advice about the mixer to oso in s2e7 came from a place of personal experience, like there was a time where he was really really excited and then completely failed, then added that situation to his mental checklist, which is why he told oso what he did. he tried to temper his expectations because of that but he ended up getting hyped up again anyways, and fell flat once again.

anyways he is cute and funny and i just think he’s neat.

least favorite thing about them:

IDK I FEEL LIKE A LOT OF HIS POSES IN GROUP OFFICIAL ART ARE A BIT BORING? like theres a lot where he's just smiling and taking a selfie. i dont think this is actually technically the majority of official art though but its enough to be a Thing.

like hes still cute but it also could be that his vibe from the actual show isn’t reflected too well? idk

(his shimamatsu art is really good to me though, idk whats different about it but a lot of it is really cute and i like it.)

c:

favorite line scene: 

brOTP: THE 🅱enis.

i find it so cute how totty clearly looks up to oso, and finds him reliable in a weird, shitty sort of way. also cyber!!! i feel like he relies on both choro and oso a lot as big bros but in sort of opposite directions, if that makes sense.

beni also has such a fun and varied dynamic. one second totty will be nagging oso like an annoying parent and the next they'll both be goofing off over something INCREDIBLY stupid. also they are mischievous little assholes and very cute and fun to watch.

also i want more totoko and todomatsu interaction i want to see them be friends

random headcanon: (thanks @transtottimi​ for this one hehe) i love the idea that he buys cute drinks and desserts and stuff for the aesthetic but he actually likes black coffee bc he’s an old man on the inside

unpopular opinion: he has a shit sense of self-esteem, he doesn't love himself much, he's just coping.

also dont know that this is an unpopular opinion or just not mentioned a lot, but totty wants to be helpful, just not if it involves physical labour or anything (the pampered little princess). his whole deal is that he wants to succeed first so he can be the one to bring his brothers up with him! hes pretty often one to volunteer ideas and advice to the other five, even if nearly all of his plans fail and his advice is sometimes unwanted, to say the least. (barrage of screenshots incoming:)

and here is him pissing off the others while he thinks he’s being helpful:

favorite picture of them:

ITS HARD TO PICK OF FAVOURITE SO ILL JUST PUT A BUNCH:

[corysmiles]

Caught (Again) Part 3.

Friendly Giant AU

part 1

part 2

cw//language, mentions of fatal vore (this part is extremely vague and short)

(Also I’m so sorry this is longer than the things I usually post but I hope you like it 💛)

———————————

“Wilbur please eat your food,” Phil hummed from across the table.

It had only been a couple hours since Wilbur woke up, and he was already becoming a problem. The moment his eyes opened he was yelling for help. They tried to calm him down but the hysteric man wouldn’t stop shouting about the giant.

“Dad stop fucking ignoring me! I know i saw-“

“Wilbur!” Phil snapped, “Please, eat your food. We’ll discuss this later, but you need to eat.”

Techno took a spoonful of the soup and nudged it towards Wilbur’s face. As soon as it touched his lips Wil sputtered and slapped it out of the older man’s hand. The spoon hit the table with a hard thud, interrupting the uncomfortable silence.

“Fucking stop it, I’m not a child!” Wilbur gasped.

Techno picked the spoon back up and huffed, “You’re really acting like it.”

Wilbur shot Techno a dangerous glare and shoved the soup bowl away from him. It sloshed out onto the table, spilling onto WIlbur’s lap.

“Dad the towns in trouble! It knows where we-“

Wilbur couldn’t even finish his sentence before a spoonful of soup was forcefully shoved into his mouth by Techno. Wil coughed and hit his chest but swallowed it down.

“Will I love you I really do, but you’re probably concussed,” Phil said softly, “And we’d know if there was a giant I promise. That’s our job. If the boys had been with a giant they would be dead, and look at them, not dead.”

Wilbur shot a dangerous glance at Tubbo and Tommy who just sat in silence at the other end of the table. Tommy’s face lit up with a sly smile as he turned to face their angered brother.

“I don’t know how they’re not dead. But I KNOW what I saw,” Wilbur snarled.

“You’re being stupid big man,” Tommy scoffed, “Of course theres no giant we don’t have a death wish.”

“Oh shut the fuck up Tommy,” Wilbur snapped.

“Don’t talk to your brother like that,” Phil scolded, “but Wil is right mate. Going into the forest was stupid of you two, you basically did have a death wish...I really don’t believe you two found a giant, but if one actually did find you, we’d be holding a funeral right now.”

Tubbo looked up at Phil with a mouthful of soup and nodded.

“You know how dangerous they are,” Phil said, “They aren’t people. A giant would slaughter you like pigs and not have a second thought.”

“Tell me more dad I’m intrigued,” Tommy grinned.

Phil glared at Tommy and sighed, “It’s not a joke Tommy. Giants are a serious danger, all we are to them is food.”

“Mhm,” Techno hummed.

“Giants are the closest things to the devil you’ll ever meet.”

“Mhm,” Phil agreed, “They wouldn’t even hesitate to eat kids like you, you’re like a fucking snack to them.”

Tubbo stared down at his soup while Tommy continued to egg on their father. The claims he made about giants got more and more extreme...but at least the soup tasted good.

“Can we please stop talking about this,” Wilbur snapped after a couple minutes. His posture was stiff, and the staring contest he had with their father was thick with tension. It didn’t last long though before Phil reluctantly gave up and motioned for him to eat more.

“I’m gonna uh..I’m actually gonna go to sleep now I’m pretty tired,” Tubbo exclaimed after a few minutes of silence. Tommy grabbed at his arm to get him to stay but Tubbo was already gone.

As soon as Tubbo got to his room he dropped down against the wall and pulled his legs to his chest. A deep breath cleared his mind.

At least Ranboo was okay, he thought. And Tommy was doing a good job of convincing Wilbur nothing happened. Even though Tubbo felt a bit guilty over lying to their brother, if it meant Ranboo was safe it would have to happen.

He would never forgive himself if he was the reason Ranboo got caught.

After an hour the door to his room slowly creaked open as Tommy entered.

“You feeling alright big man?” Tommy asked as he sat down beside Tubbo.

Tubbo sighed and leaned his head against his brother’s shoulder. He was thankful for Tommy’s help but it was still overwhelming.

“Yeah,” Tubbo whispered, “Just anxious...we were so close to being caught.”

A gentle hand rubbed against Tubbo’s back while he talked.

“Try not to worry about it,” Tommy sighed, “I’ll deal with Wilbur, and dad and Techno don’t suspect anything. It’s all okay...Are you gonna visit him tonight?”

Tubbo stared at the floor for a few seconds, just letting his eyes follow the natural grain of the wood. It was a habit he’d had since he was a kid. He used to make stories out of all the shapes and pictures he found hidden in the wood, but now all he could find in the grains were reminders of Ranboo- his eyes, his tail, his awful fishing rod.

“Yeah, I think I should,” Tubbo sighed, “He’s probably so worried right now.”

Tommy hummed beside him in agreement. The hand on his back pulled him closer against his brother’s side.

“Yeah, wouldnt wanna make Boob anymore anxious than he already is,” he smiled, “I’ll go with you- to make sure nothing happens of course. Wouldn’t want a giant to mercilessly kill you.”

Tubbo snorted and punched Tommy’s side, “I hope he slaughters you.”

“And eats me too right?”

“Obviously,” Tubbo snorted, “Like a snack.”

After a few hours when they were sure the rest of their family was asleep, Tubbo carefully cracked open their window letting them both jump out onto the grass below. It was still squishy from the morning rain, but further out in the forest it would hopefully be dry. The thick tree tops could be thanked for that.

Tubbo and Tommy got all the way to the walls with no issue. One at a time they climbed up the small ladder on the side until they reached the top. Tubbo sent his brother a grin before hopping off onto the pile of leaves they’d set up below.

Tubbo thought it was strange looking back at the walls. From the other side they looked so small, especially compared to the giant he actually did know...it was a good thing Ranboo had no intentions of getting into town. Or hurting anyone.

After a few seconds he was startled out of his thoughts by the thud of Tommy landing beside him.

Tommy grabbed his wrist as started to lead them forward. But they didn’t get very far before a heavy weight tackled into them from the darkness.

“Fuck!?” Tommy yelped as the boys were slammed onto the ground.

Tubbo desperately tried to push off whatever monster was attacking them until a familiar voice grunted in pain.

“Wilbur!?” Tubbo asked incredulously.

When the weight finally got off of them they were met by a very very angry looking Wilbur. His head was still bandaged from where Tubbo had hit him, but apparently he was fine enough to be up and moving.

“Where the fuck are you two going?” he growled.

Tommy brushed the dirt off his shirt and glared at their older brother.

“What the fuck-“

“No no no, what the fuck are you two doing? Are you fucking idiots?” Wilbur asked.

Tommy sighed and grabbed Wilbur’s wrist. His soft placating smile was all Tubbo needed to know what would happen next. It was his lying smile.

“Jeez Wil calm down. We followed you out here, are you lost dude? Are you ok-“

Wilbur slapped Tommy’s hand away with a shout, “I’m fucking fine, stop treating me like I’ve lost my mind! Now you’ve got two fucking minutes to tell me what’s going on or I’m telling dad you were out here again.”

“Not like he’d believe it,” Tommy snapped back.

Wilbur’s glare hardened as he marched forward, his finger pointed at Tommy’s chest.

“Oh so you fucking admit you’ve been lying to me, Huh? Really nice of you,” he snarled.

“Hey hey stop it!” Tubbo shouted. Immediately Wilbur’s head shot towards him with a deep frown. His finger still pressed against Tommy’s chest.

“You fucking too,” Wilbur growled, marching towards Tubbo, “Why are you out here what the fuck is wrong with you, I expect you to be smarter at least!”

“Hey!” Tommy snapped.

Wilbur shushed Tommy with a hand and glared back down at Tubbo. Even as sickly as he looked he was still intimidating, and Tubbo didn’t think he’d ever seen Wilbur that angry before.

“Tubbo you take me where you were going...or I tell dad,” he said slowly, “If you’re going to leave anyway I’m going too.”

Tubbo stared into the older man’s eyes and saw the liquid fear starting to swirl inside of them. Wilbur was angry but...there was more to it. It made sense given how often he had nightmares about the giant that had gotten into town. Of course, he’d be afraid of seeing another one.

“Tubbo let’s just take him home we can-“

“No,” Tubbo interrupted, his eyes didn’t leave Wilbur’s.

“No...he can come Tommy,” he said.

Immediately Tommy gasped in confusion and shoved Tubbo’s shoulder.

“What the fuck are you talking about you can’t just-“

“Tommy.”

“Tubbo it’s not safe it’s not-“

“Tommy.”

“Do you even care about him, what the-“

“Tommy!” Tubbo shouted.

Tommy’s eyes hardened into ice as he stared at Tubbo. But Tubbo knew what he needed to do.

“You can come Wilbur,” Tubbo said slowly.

Wilbur blinked, seemingly confused by how fast he had won, and nodded at Tubbo. He straightened his posture but his eyebrows still furrowed anxiously.

“Let’s go then.”

The three walked through the forest in a thick silence. Tubbo lead the group while Tommy walked behind with Wilbur. The previously furious man now just seemed terrified. His eyes flicked back and forth anxiously, and every broken branch or gust of wind made him flinch. Tubbo was sure that if he even said the man’s name he’d bolt the other direction.

“How long until we get there?” Wilbur asked.

Tubbo turned back to him and shrugged earning a glare from Wilbur.

“We’re almost there,” Tubbo hummed, “You should know, you’ve been here already haven’t you?”

Wilbur paused in his steps. The white noise of crickets and birds filled the silence.

“It was real...” Wilbur whispered. His voice so thin it almost blended into the sound of the wind.

Tommy’s eyes darted to Tubbo sending him a silent warning- he had to be careful. But they’d already gotten that far.

Tubbo locked eyes with his older brother and nodded. Immediately, Wilbur’s mouth squeezed shut, and for a moment Tubbo feared he would run until thankfully he fell back in line with the group.

After a few minutes they were at the entrance to the den. The warm air from inside washed over Tubbo like a comfortable blanket or a hug, but Wilbur didn’t seem as pleased. He could almost see the fear radiating off of Wilbur in waves as he stared into the dark cave.

“It’s safe,” Tubbo muttered, gently resting his hand on Wilbur’s shoulder.

Wilbur nodded and swallowed, letting himself be guided in by his younger brothers. Every step was torturously slow though since he kept having to stop to collect himself.

“We’re almost there Wil,” Tommy whispered at the fourth stop. He laid an arm around his brother’s shoulder and waited patiently until he stood back up, ready to walk again.

When they turned around the next corner the tunnel lit up- they were close now. Tubbo’s feet sped up like he was on autopilot and he had to force himself from running through the rest of the tangled pathways.

It wasn’t long before a familiar booming voice echoed through the last tunnel.

“Tubbo?”

Immediately a gasp escaped Wilbur. Tubbo turned to his brother who looked like he was about to pass out- his whole body stood deathly still and his eyes looked like they were a second away from rolling to the back of his head.

“What...” Wilbur heaved.

Tommy motioned for Tubbo to go on and sighed, “I’ll stay with him until he’s ready.”

Tubbo nodded and walked the rest of the way into the large cavern where Ranboo was curled up next to Michael. Meanwhile Tommy’s cow Henry slept peacefully against the stone wall of the den.

“Hey Boo,” Tubbo grinned.

As soon as the red and green eyes met his own they beamed with excitement. Behind Ranboo his giant tail thumped up and down happily.

“Wheres Tommy?” Ranboo asked.

Tubbo walked up to his friend and leaned against his giant arm. His body sunk into the soft fur and he could already feel the feint vibrations of a purr.

Tubbo took a deep breath and rubbed his hand into the giant’s fur, “He’s uh...well we have a guest?”

Ranboo tilted his head at the human before a loud gasp came from the other side of the den. Standing next to Tommy in the entrance to the cavern was Wilbur, and he looked horrified.

“You...it-“ Wilbur froze, “Oh my god.”

Wilbur’s shifted away, but before he could run Tommy grabbed his arm and yanked him forward.

“Fuck! Let me go,” Wilbur yelled, “Let me go please!”

Tommy shushed his brother while Ranboo stared wide-eyed at the man. His ears pushed flat against his head and Tubbo could tell by the way Ranboo’s fingers moved to wrap around him that he was anxious.

“Wil, he’s not gonna hurt you,” Tubbo said softly. To prove his point he rested his arm against one of Ranboo’s massive fingers- it didn’t seem to comfort Wilbur much though if his heavy breathing was anything to go off of.

“Wilbur breathe,” Tommy hummed, “It’s safe I promise. I don’t even like him, but you’re safe.”

“Yeah we’re not gonna let you get hurt big man,” Tubbo reassured.

Above them all Ranboo made a show of putting his hands behind his back before sitting back down.

“See not scary,” Tubbo smiled.

However, Wilbur still looked like he was going to cry. His eyes blinked frantically to clear away the oncoming tears while Tommy tried to calm him down to no avail.

Wilbur gulped down a deep breath, “How are you...”

Tubbo opened his mouth to continue before Ranboo’s voice echoed through the den again.

“I’m not gonna hurt you,” Ranboo whispered, “You can leave if you want.”

Wilbur’s head snapped upwards as he cowered away from the giant again.

“Look...I’ve been seeing Tubbo and Tommy for months now,” Ranboo said slowly, “If I meant to hurt them I already would have done it...And you’re their family, so why would I hurt you?”

Wilbur tightened his grip on Tommy’s arm, “You’re a monster...”

A soft hum came from Ranboo as the giant shifted to lay down on his stomach- his face now eye level with Wilbur.

“I know,” Ranboo agreed, “...But Im not going to hurt you. I would never.”

Meanwhile Tubbo walked over to Ranboo’s face and leaned against his cheek. With one finger Ranboo moved Tubbo to his nose and gently pushed against the human. Wilbur’s mouth hung open as he watched.

“Tubbo...” Wilbur exhaled.

Tubbo smiled at Wilbur and motioned for him to come closer. With a gentle nudge from Tommy, Wilbur reluctantly took a couple of steps until he was only a few feet from Ranboo’s face. His posture was rigid like a frightened animal ready to flee, but it was progress.

When nothing happened Wilbur took a couple more steps until he was face to face with giant. Ranboo’s massive eyes blinked once at the human before closing.

“How is this possible?” Wilbur whispered.

Tubbo shrugged and grabbed onto Wilbur’s wrist with a questioning look. When there was no resistance from Wilbur, Tubbo slowly placed his hand against Ranboo’s fur. Wilbur tensed up at the feeling but allowed Tubbo to guide his fingers through the thick strands.

“He’s different big man,” Tommy hummed from beside the two, “Not like the one you saw before.”

“Yeah, and he saved me yaknow?” Tubbo smiled.

Wilbur yanked his hand away when a slow vibration resonated from Ranboo’s body. Tubbo chuckled and guided Wilbur’s hand back down.

“He’s just purring dude,” Tubbo reassured, “It’s safe.”

Wilbur furrowed his eyebrows at the the giant with a small frown.

“See he’s just like a big dumb cat,” Tommy laughed.

One of Ranboo’s eyes popped open and glared at Tommy. Slowly, as to not startle Wilbur, Ranboo’s hand gently shoved Tommy to the side; Tommy huffed out some curses but didn’t seem too upset.

And for the first time that night Tubbo heard Wilbur laugh. It was soft and still a bit shaken, but it was a laugh nonetheless. Ranboo seemed to notice too and slowly opened his eyes to look back down at Wilbur.

Slowly, Ranboo pressed his face against Wil’s hand and whispered, “It’s okay”

Wilbur let out a small broken laugh, “This is...this is so fucked up.”

“Tell me about it,” Tommy scoffed.

Wilbur watched in complete awe as the giant reached out a hand to him. The clawed fingers were only an arms-length away but the creature made no move to grab at him.

Within seconds Tubbo had crawled up onto the outstretched palm and Tommy reluctantly allowed himself to be pulled up too. Wilbur’s face fell at the sight.

“I won’t move I promise,” Ranboo whispered, “And you don’t have to.”

Wilbur took a deep breath and slowly reached out his hand to the giant’s. His skin met Ranboo’s for a brief moment before he pulled away again. He couldn’t bring himself to be that close to that...that monster.

“I...I would like to go home,” Wilbur muttered, “Please.”

Ranboo smiled sadly at the older human and gently placed Tubbo and Tommy back onto the ground. Tommy looked like he was about to argue with Wil before Tubbo stepped in.

“We can go home Wil just...you can’t tell anyone about him,” Tubbo said sternly.

Wilbur met Tubbo’s hard gaze and let his eyes momentarily shift up to the giant’s. The red and green gaze was frightening, but it also held a deep sense of kindness.

After a few moments he let out a small hum of agreement and waved an anxious goodbye to the giant.

“I’m Ranboo,” the giant called out, “By the way.”

Wilbur paused beside his brothers and thought for a moment before turning on his heel. His eyes held a sense of determination as he walked back to the giant. With a deep breath he moved his hand to the giant’s own and pressed into the fur.

“I’m Wilbur,” he said after a few seconds of silence.

Ranboo grinned and gave him a small hum before Wilbur ran off back to the other humans. The giant watched as the three left- his tail wagged beside him happily. He was a little upset Tubbo wouldn’t be staying, but the meeting with Wilbur wasn’t that bad.

Ranboo knew it was hard for people to get used to him but he hoped eventually Wilbur would come around too.

[techgoddessdeluxe18]

Stop Fucking Up My Dream Firefighter AUs with Incorrect Research - A Long Rant

As a proud veteran of the fan fiction gang (what up 2011 fanfiction.net, pre porn banned Tumblr and 9 years deep into AO3) and an actual volunteer firefighter 

(Im not kidding we had a call to get a cat out a drain and this kid and his friends who had called it in were standing nearby and the kid had the Homunculus symbol from FMAB drawn on his hand and I asked him if he watched the show and he just look at me in awe that a firefighter could even fathom anime.)

I have a SLIGHT problem when wanting to read Firefighter AUs. The writers tend to get the vibe right, the steamy romance, the unhygienic sex in the fire engines, etcetera. But the basic info is almost always jarringly wrong, and its sort of painful to read through. 

So here is a incredibly basic breakdown of what you need to know when writing a Firefighter AU.

Paid vs Volunteer Company

In America, Canada, and most suburban and rural areas, depending on how wealthy your town is, are volunteer companies. Local families and people who have been serving for generations dedicate their time and lives to serve their community. They’re small, so they might have old but well cared for rigs (fire truck, engine, rigs are just easier to call them). Theres usually one Chief, an Assistant Chief, 2 Captains, 2 Lieutenants, and the firefighters underneath them. They work in conjunction with the surrounding companies when responding to a call.

Depending on how wealthy the town is, they might have paid or combination companies. My town was rich enough to fully staff 30 stations, but allowed volunteers to run with them as well.

Major and even minor cities, are mainly paid companies. Theres just too many people in small spaces and incidents tend to multiply in cities. The command structure is similar to the volunteer company, however they don’t have individual chiefs, they have 1 Battalion Chief that responds for the whole city, like for a big structure fire they would assume command from the commanding officer on scene.

Getting Dispatched 

In every county, city, province, there is a small office building with lovely people called the Dispatch Center. People call the country’s emergency number (North America - 911), dispatch takes your information, and says over county radio 

The box number (like say its Company 12, so Box 12-3 would be the north side of town, 12-7 would be the south, 12-10 would be the river, or something like that)

The Incident: Most common but not limited to:

 Possible or Working Structure Fire,

Fire Investigation, 

Fire Alarm (most common and so annoying at 3 AM)

Vehicle Fire (classified by size, like car, van, tractor trailer)

Traffic Accident (Accident w/ injuries, Multi Car pileup, Rollover, Accident with entrapment (stuck but not hurt), Accident with confinement (literally crushed in with the car)

Less exciting ones like Gas Leaks, Carbon Monoxide Alarms, Electrical Hazards, Cats stuck in trees

Medical calls - depending on the company, but mostly Cardiac Arrests, Stroke, Lift Assists (helping old people who fall in their tubs), possible pregnancies?

The most common are fire alarms. Pain in the butts and are usually nothing, but you always have to be prepared for something to go wrong. For some reason Structure Fires and Cardiac Arrests come in batches, so like 2 weeks of like nonstop action, then like a month of boring fire alarms.

The basic rigs are 

Engine (water suppression, 500-gallon tank)

Rescue (Rapid Intervention, vehicle accidents and technical rescue)

Ladder (single 90'-110' ladder), 

Tower (Ladder with bucket at the end)

 Some cities allow combinations such as a Quint, a ladder truck with a tank in it. Most of the time, for most incidents, its 1 Engine and 1 Rescue or Truck or Ladder. The Engine is the constant. For any incident you may write, there should be more engines than anything else, but for a basic fire, 3 engines, 2 Ladder or Truck, and 2 Rescues are good.

For accidents, usually 1 Engine and a Rescue

What to Wear?

All of your gear is in your locker in the Apparatus Bay, in lockers with your name on them. Gear is heavy, about 30 lbs. This is the order they go on, should be dressed and zipped and on the rig in less than a minute and a half (yes we’re tested on that)

1. Boots and Bunker Pants

Your bunker pants are tucked into your boots and they have grips, so tug them on and get your pants up over whatever clothes you have underneath. Suspenders on, though some people don’t use them.

2. Nomex Hood

It looks like a dark colored balaclava, but its soft, stretchy, and thick material, it goes over your head and then pushed back off so it sits around your neck. VERY IMPORTANT, WILL KEEP YOU FROM GETTING BURNED TOO BAD.

3. Jacket

Swing it up and over your shoulders and get your hands into the wristlets. Fire gloves will either be in the pockets or strapped to the front (I perfer strapped its easier to grab and put on)

4. Helmet

This is where OP can get creative because almost all helmets are very personalized, whether with cameras or flashlights or stickers or special handmade leather fronts with the Company number and firefighter name. (Mine has a chinese idiom that translates to water and fire have no mercy, cause im half Chinese)

Going on the Call

So to wrap up this very long post, going on each call is always different. No two are the same. The fire alarms are boring and tedious. The structure fires are fun and exciting and adrenaline rush, but just be aware that there is an entire room on fire and its 1400F degrees and its just you and a hose and you breathing heavily through your airpack. Its scary but walking out of it after is such an invigorating feeling. Your camaraderie with your crew will never be stronger than in that moment. Vehicle accidents are the same, just you and the spreaders (Jaws of Life), and praying that the patient inside is still breathing and conscious. Lastly, for medical calls, never underestimate the capacity of human grief. Cardiac arrests almost never seem to work. Its always very sobering to leave, but you did what you could.

In the end, firefighters are human. We are not epic heros like people like to believe. We enjoy what we do, helping others. We cherish the time we have.

THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY RANT IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS FEEL FREE TO ASK ANYTIME ANYTHING 

[reyeslonestar]

Personally I wish that Mateo and Paul, especially Paul, have some more screen time but also just give us more of them. Why didn’t Paul or Mateo say anything during the intervention? Maybe because they didn’t want to offend Owen? Idk just a guess but i just am kind of over those two getting little to nothing if this makes sense. Marjan, too, but she gets a little bit more than them. Story wise, dialogue wise and most of everything else. Mateo had more screen time this week which I loved because he’s great, too and I’m glad we got to see a little bit more of his life outside of work. But they said nothing in the intervention and also they literally barely ever show Mateo doing anything on calls. Like where is he lol is he still a probie? How long does that last maybe I’m dumb as missed some part of that probie storyline and if I did my bad excuse this part lol but if I didn’t then???? And Paul was gonna climb the ladder in the last episode but Owen was like nah I can do it. Why not let Paul do it????? I know this is silly because some scenes are purposely structured to show how Owen and others like TK or someone else will react and move their storylines forward but this is getting kind of annoying. Does this make sense? Why create all of these diverse and interesting characters with so much potential and literally do almost nothing with them. Seriously I know we are just scratching the surface with Mateo and Paul and Marjan. We are lucky to be getting this much Grace and Judd, especially Grace with the car crash plot line because before we didn’t get much Grace aside from short calls either. I just want more and I know we’re slowly getting it but this is so annoying to see some of these characters being wasted and ignored for the most part

hi! yeah, I would love more screentime for that little trio - the actors have obviously put a lot of work into building that dynamic and I love it so much - now give us more @ lone star!! however, something that @howtosingit noted here about the screen time is that the ‘top 3s′ are almost exactly following billing order currently. its worth remembering that Brian, Natacha and Julian are lower billed actors, they are not going to have the same amount of screen time as Rob, Gina and Ronen. (personally I think its sus that Gina is lower than where she should be for that but I guess theres still time before the end of the season) of course we will always like to have more of the characters that aren’t Owen, but realistically the order does reflect the industry convention of how billing relates to screentime.

as for their dialogue during the intervention, i think it kinda does make sense  why they didn’t speak much:

a, Marjan and Paul don’t really have personal experience of seeing Owen off the rails, they’ve only really heard it second-hand from Mateo - Paul, Mr Observational, says during the rescue for the kid on the roof that he can’t notice anything apparently wrong with Owen and Marjan was obviously very underprepared for being asked to speak.

b, Owen kind of derailed the intervention before they got around to everyone being able to speak, so Mateo wasn’t able to properly give his thoughts.

(btw Mateo is no longer on probation, he passed his exam during s1 but I suspect he’ll always be probie to the firefam, it’s more an affectionate nickname than an indicator of his experience. he’ll probably still be probie until they get a new probationer, which might be a long time away skjdgjk)

I completely get your frustration at the lack of exploration of these really interesting characters, especially for the benefit of white male characters. I would love for them to really tap into the potential they have and understand that that would create a far more engaging show, as well as a more inclusive one. I have to admit though, this episode was not actually one that fuelled that frustration for me. I actually enjoyed owen’s storyline in this and I think it incorporated the other characters really well and also allowed them a couple subplots of their own.

I don't mind them using Owen as the main character when they give him interesting plots that actually develop his character - in the past, he’s been frustrating to see on screen because the narrative framing validated everything he did rather than challenging him, and so it became far more preferable to have him offscreen. I thought Owen taking over from Paul was quite interesting - it was a parallel to 1.04 when Owen went into the collapsed house instead of TK, and he did it for the same reason - to feel powerful after being confronted with his flaws. in 1.04 it was being faced with a man potentially losing his son reminding Owen of his own mortality, and this ep it was the team discussing his mental health over the radio. the reason why I liked this episode way more is the framing. 1.04 framed Owen as this hero, doing good things for other people and didnt really address why it was a stupid thing to do. 2x10 shows Owen as avoiding his problems by doing things that make him seem heroic but actually are just a symptom of his issues, especially when he started telling a child all about his problems go to therapy Owen istg.

but yeah, you make total sense. as much as I understand that the way the show works is a reflection of industry standards and conventions, doesn’t mean we have to like it or accept it as good enough. Im sure the fact that Carlos, grace, Paul, Mateo and Marjan are characters of colour is part of why the producers dont give them as much attention - film and tv production is built on the same racist structures that the rest of American society is (and like, the rest of the western world especially the uk, but trying to stay on track here) and lone star is not free from that. the fact that they have these characters is awesome, but now they need to use them properly and fairly.

idk if this reply really makes sense, but basically, yeah, we’d like more Mateo, Marjan and Paul and when we have to have the Owen plots, make them actually mean something for the character. 

[ddaenggtan]

as we go along | myj [m]

pairing | min yoonji x reader

wc | 10.4k

genre | NSFW; Fluff, Smut, a dash of Angst bc why not

Four years ago, the beautiful stunning attractive frustrating Min Yoonji came into your life. Ever since, it’s been a competition between the two of you to win the HOA’s Holiday Decorating Contest. The fiery looks she gives you paired with the pointed insults throw you off your game every year, but not this time. This holiday season, you’re determines to win; and along the way you might just find that Yoonji’s been trying to win something else.

;OR the queer hallmark movie of your dreams.

warnings/tags | idiots to lovers, enemies to lovers, Awkward Gays, Idiot/Oblivious Gays, very strong language i think this MC curses almost as much as i do, oral (female receiving) x2, fingering, wall sex, theres like....a hint of body worship in that MC loves eating pussy bc lbr. what else could possibly compare to that. uhh side jinkook, as well as some side namyoonmin and some vhope if u squint real hard. hwasa and chungha are a lesbian power couple. OH The Min Twins aka Yoongi and Yoonji are siblings uwu

a/n |  this is 100% every single lesbian fantasy of my dreams because i just really love the ladeez and also min yoonji needs more characterization outside of 'stone cold butch domme' so uh. here ya go. i love ladeez so this is v self indulgent and also Super Gay. 

this is part of the 25 Days of Christmas: A BTS Anthology 

[Today]

Red bleeds into green and glitters magnificently on the snow. Lights and tinsel are strewn all over the yard of your parents’ house, creating a rather pretty collage of sparkles and swirls against the white backdrop. You wish you could appreciate it more. 

As it stands, however, you’ve been outside for hours untangling the decorative strands so that you can hang them on the gutters, eaves, and railings of the two story house behind you. Your mother had insisted you work inside but you know better. The cats - Mochi and Pablo - are your favorite in the world and you love them dearly, but one of their favorite things in the world has always been holiday decorations. The number of times you’ve had to stop them from chewing on lights of knocking the tree down is frankly ridiculous. So instead you’re unravelling everything so you can get started on what you’re sure is going to be your best year yet.

You’ve always loved decorating, of course, especially for the holidays. Getting up before dawn to go pick out one of the giant fir trees to stand in their living room, picking out new figurines for the Winter Village that sits on the mantle, helping your parents put ornaments on the tree. You love holiday decorating nearly as much as you love the feeling of victory in your chest. 

“If you had an organizer that wouldn’t take nearly as long,” says a voice from behind you. It’s melodic and deceptively sweet in spite of the lower register, and you don’t turn. You don’t want to give her the satisfaction. You don’t even respond, instead settling your gloved hands on your hips and eyeing the front porch so you can decide where to start. 

“Really? Ignoring me now? Tsk tsk, and here I thought you were better than being a sore loser.”

Continuing on your mission to pretend she isn’t there, you heft several yards of lights over your shoulder and head toward the ladder you have against the porch roof. You may as well start up high. 

“Interesting choice,” Yoonji mutters as she watches you. The hair on the back of your neck bristles, and you take a deep breath to calm and center yourself. “I’d heard that icicle lights were a bit last season, but I’m excited for this vintage look you’re going for. If you need more, let me know. I think the ones I used last year are still in the garage.”

“What do you want, Yoonji?” You huff, turning over your shoulder to glare at her. She looks entirely too at home in your yard with a steaming thermos in her mittened hands. 

“Just wanted to say hi. Wasn’t sure you were coming this year, considering how late you got in.”

“My flight was delayed for weather reasons,” you snap. 

“Ah. That’s why I always drive up instead.” There’s a pregnant pause that’s filled only with the huffs of your breath as you focus on the lights in front of you. “Oh, but you never got your license, did you? Ah, you should call me next year, we can carpool.”

“I got my license this past year,” You bite out. She doesn’t need to know that it took a few tries. It’s not your fault it makes you anxious to be behind the wheel. “Seriously. I have work to do.”

“Obviously,” Yoonji mutters. You flash her a glare and she just smiles back. “Just wanted to see how you were, if you needed any…” She pauses, eyes trailing over the explosion of decorations on your lawn with thinly veiled judgement in her eyes. “Help.”

“If I needed your help, I wouldn’t be winning this year’s contest.”

“By the looks of it, you aren’t winning this year’s contest anyway.” Her mutter doesn’t escape your notice. But that’s the real problem you have with Min Yoonji.

She’s sarcastic and blunt and kind of intimidatingly hot, but you can handle that. You are a strong, independent queer woman in the modern age and you are not about to let some random lesbian intimidate you, no matter how much you kind of wanted to fuck her in the past. Yoonji is not a problem for you. 

It’s the way she’s constantly putting you down, giving you backhanded compliments, and generally acting like she’s better than you. While winning your parents’ neighborhood’s annual Holiday Decorating Contest that their local Homeowner’s Association runs. Everyone gets a kick out of the friendly competition, the winners get a gift certificate to a Korean BBQ place, and a good time is had by all. 

Except you. 

Because you’ve made it your mission to win - to beat the current reigning champion of the past three years who stands on your lawn sipping what smells like hot cocoa and silently judging your decor choices like she didn’t put a massive inflatable pumpkin on the roof for Halloween. 

She watches you the entire time you hang up the lights, carefully attaching them to the edge of the awning covering the front porch. It isn’t until your father pulls into the driveway and you’re done with the upper half completely - about to start the railing - and descending the ladder one careful step at a time that she speaks again. 

“Those are hanging too low,” She tells you. She doesn’t seem to mind when you ignore her in favor of wrapping lights around the stair banister. 

“Hey there, Yoonji!” Your father calls as he starts to unload the groceries. “What brings you to this part of town?” They both laugh at the joke and you force back a gag. 

“Just hanging out,” She calls back. “Making sure your daughter doesn’t break her neck for some silly competition. You need help with those?” Your dad waves her off. 

“I’m not that old, but thank you. Besides, it looks like you’re needed elsewhere.” He gestures with one bag-laden hand, and both you and Yoonji turn. 

A large SUV pulls into the driveway across the street; the passenger door swings open before the vehicle even stops, and a girl - woman, really - launches herself out of the car. She’s across the street in record time, nearly tackling Yoonji to the snow with the force of her hug. Both look excited to see each other, a rare smile on Yoonji’s face that makes you burn with something that doesn’t feel quite like the usual rage. 

The two are talking rapidly in your front lawn, too harried and chaotic for you to make out much of anything besides the fact that they missed each other. They look comfortable with each other in a way you’ve never been and you force yourself to remember that you don’t care . Even as you eye the way the newcomer’s hand sits just that little bit too low on Yoonji’s back. 

The sounds of car doors closing and snow crunching draws your attention and you’re shocked to see another gorgeous girl making her way over. She looks as excited as the first, yet more subdued about it. 

Likely because they’re on a lawn that decidedly does not belong to them, but you could be wrong there. 

Both of the women are absolutely gorgeous, though, easily model material. The first has artfully styled dark hair that falls in perfect waves down her shoulders, and is delightfully curvy in all the places the world loves. Her cheekbones are to die for, makeup flawless, and you resist the urge to pluck at your own outfit, chosen for warmth over style. 

The second woman is no different; not quite as thicc, as Jimin would say, but the figure suits her, as does the straight platinum hair that hangs down to her lower back. It’s stark against the black of her expensive-looking coat, and it only adds to the energy she carries that draws you in even as you wish it wouldn’t. 

“Oh, how rude of me! These are my neighbors,” Yoonji says after a minute. You don’t miss the way she hesitates saying your name, or the almost predatory smiles the other two women get. 

“So you’re the one,” The dark-haired one says. You don’t get a chance to question it before the blonde cuts her off. 

“I’m Chungha,” She says with a friendly smile. “And this is Hyejin.”

“My friends call me Hwasa, though,” The brunette adds. “We hate to tear her away but it’s been ages since we’ve seen our girl.”

“You saw me like two weeks ago,” Yoonji mutters. You’re too caught off-guard by anyone calling Yoonji their ‘girl’ to respond, but you don’t miss the way her cheeks tinge pink from something that isn’t the cold. 

“So we’re gonna steal her away now,” Hwasa continues, oblivious. You don’t protest, letting your father chat amicably while they say their goodbyes and you look between the girls. 

Hwasa’s hand is still lingering on Yoonji’s lower back, something neither of them seem bothered by. That’s something that friends do, though, right? Jimin squeezes your ass constantly and the two of you definitely aren’t together. 

You hear your name and a question but you can’t seem to really focus beyond a mumbled agreement to whatever you were asked. The way Chungha’s eyes glance over her companions feels like something more, but you can never really be sure. Not in this day and age.

But when they head back across the road to Yoonji’s house, Hwasa doesn’t hesitate to lace their fingers together. Yoonji lets her do it, and the glimpse of the grin and the flushed cheeks you see make your heart clench. 

Paired with the way Chungha eyes the pair as she follows behind - a decidedly more than friendly gaze - and every alarm in your brain is going off. She looks ready to jump them both the second they get in the door. 

“I’m impressed,” Your father says. 

“I’m not done yet,” You tell him, turning back to the decorations sprawled across the lawn. “I’ve still got to-”

“No, no,” He interrupts. “Not the decorations. That you’re finally making strides to be nicer to Yoonji.” You stare blankly at him, not understanding what part of your attitude towards her said anything about being nicer. 

And anyway, why shouldn’t she be nicer to you?

“The party…?” You blink at his words, looking in all respects like a startled rabbit. “The annual Min family holiday party? That they just invited you to? The one that you said you would attend?”

“I’m sorry, I did what. ”

“It just happened, sweetheart. I was standing right here for the entire thing.”

“No,” You tell him firmly. “No, because I would remember telling Min fucking Yoonji that I was going to her stupid holiday party.”

Your father just shakes his head. “Then perhaps we ought to get you a doctor’s appointment, sweetie, because I watched it all happen not five seconds ago.” He pats your shoulder, doing his best to show his solidarity for your sudden idiocy, and makes his way inside. 

You spin to watch him go, all the potential protests and complaints clogging together in your throat and leaving you silent. He gets to the bottom step before you’re storming angrily back to your decorations, because whatever , you’ll go to the stupid party. 

Yoonji can have her dumb holiday party with those overhyped cookies your father always raves about. She can have her caroling and her sing-a-long that your mother adores. She can even have her two super hot model girlfriends, because you’re a modern woman, and sometimes that’s what a relationship is. Whatever. It’s her prerogative. You don’t care. It is not going to affect you, or your decorating, at all. 

You scream a little when the icicle lights you so carefully hung knock against your father’s head on his way inside. 

[Three Years Ago]

“You look like you’re struggling,” a voice says behind you. 

They aren’t wrong, either. You’re balanced precariously atop the porch roof your parents’ new hours, hanging garland off the edges so your dad doesn’t have to do it himself. 

You turn to see who’s talking to you - especially since you don’t actually know anyone, this being your first visit to the neighborhood - and very nearly have to hold on to the edge beside you to stop yourself from falling off. 

The man that stands on your parents’ front walkway is easily the most beautiful you’ve seen - a casual elegance to his stance that you’ve not seen outside of celebrities. His leather jacket looks warm and comfortable while remaining stylish, and the all-black underneath suits him while highlighting the lithe form. All of it is perfectly complemented by the mop of jet-black hair tucked under a knitted beanie, and you can’t help but wonder what kind of neighborhood your parents have moved to, when models are just walking around the streets. 

“Uh…” You would kick yourself for sudden ineloquence if you thought you could without falling straight on your ass. The guy bites back and obvious smile, ducking his head for a moment to do so. 

“I haven’t seen you around before,” He calls as he looks back up at you. “Did you move in recently?”

“No, I don’t live here.” He raises a brow and you huff. “It’s my parents’ place. I’m just doing their decorating for them.” The guy nods and starts to say something else, but he’s cut off before he can. 

“Jimin-ah, what are you doing?” You look back to the garland as someone else walks up, some girl based on the quick glimpse you get while tugging on a strand that doesn’t want to untangle. You give them some semblance of privacy as the guy - Jimin - relays to her everything you’ve said so far. It only strikes you as a little odd that he’s being so detailed; she could be a jealous girlfriend, for all you know. 

“Oh,” the girl says, tone as dry as the dead leaves piled in the corner of the yard, “Is this supposed to beat me somehow?”

“Yoonji,” Jimin scolds under his breath. 

“Sorry,” You say, standing up to your full height. It’s a considerable distance considering you’re still on the porch roof. “But what is that supposed to mean? Is there some kind of competition I don’t know about?”

“Oh,” Yoonji repeats, surprise evident in her voice this time as she eyes you. You take the opportunity to do the same, and you’re glad the nip in the air already turned your cheeks pink because fuck. 

Yoonji’s god damn gorgeous. She’s slightly taller than the average girl, even in the winter boots she’s wearing, but she wears the height well; her shoulders are straight and her chin has a natural upward tilt to it, like she’s used to looking down at people in more ways than one. She’s not dressed fancy - just thick leggings and an oversized sweater - but she looks like she belongs in a commercial or something. Her hair is similar to Jimin’s - pitch black and soft - but hers is glossier, more like a cat’s coat; her cheeks are pink from the cold, her lips are slightly parted and invite too many thoughts about if they’re as soft as they look, Even in such casual circumstances, she’s radiant, even as she says-

“That explains a lot.”

It takes a second longer than you’d like to admit for your brain to resume function, but when it does, you huff with indignation. 

“Excuse me?” You hiss. “What, are my decor choices not good enough for whatever this competition is?”

“No,” Yoonji says slowly, cocking a brow, and you see red - and it isn’t the lights from the house across the street. You don’t even let her continue before you’re defending yourself.

“Well I’m sorry that not all of us can decorate like they just stepped out of...of…Better Homes And Gardens, or some shit like that. Some of us focus more on making sure we like our decorations and that they actually mean something instead of just doing things for the aesthetic .”

Yoonji mutters something under her breath but you can’t make it out; it’s lost among the breeze that kicks up and the soft sound of laughing that Jimin is trying desperately to muffle. You huff a little and return to your mission of dragging the garland up on top of the roof, a new determination filling your chest. 

“Shouldn’t your boyfriend be doing this?” Yoonji asks, crossing her arms over her chest and cocking a brow. You freeze. You can hear Jimin’s quiet inhale, and when you look up, he’s got his lips puffed out like that meme of that guy doing the duckface. You let your hand rest on your hips and give this girl the best glare you can - which you have to admit is quite powerful when you need it to be. 

Like now, when this random super hot girl is judging you for being single and also assuming you’re interested in men. The nerve of her. 

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” You tell her firmly. She frowns a little, and you wish the expression wasn’t so cute. 

“Why not?” 

You scoff. “ Because,” You tell her firmly, “Not only am I happy by myself and don’t need someone else to be complete, I happen to prefer women. You may be happy with a member of the opposite sex,” You wave at where she and Jimin stand close together and return to trying to pull up the piece of garland that’s probably stuck on something, “But I tend to lean the other way.”

Yoonji just arches a perfect brow at you, but she at least doesn’t bust out laughing like Jimin does. 

“Oh man,” He says, wiping tears from his eyes as he stumbles forward, “Imagine looking at us and thinking we’re straight. Oh my god, imagine, can you believe-”

“So why don’t you have a girlfriend doing this then?” Yoonji asks. Her cheeks are a little redder, but you’re pretty sure it’s just from the cold. “Wouldn’t it be better?”

“Because I’m a strong,” You heave another string of garland up, “Independent,” heave, “Woman!” You give one last tug on the garland and it flies loose, sending you landing back on the flat of your ass atop the porch roof. It doesn’t hurt too bad other than the fact that you can see a smile playing on Yoonji’s lips and your pride has already taken a few hits. 

“Well then,” Yoonji says, patting Jimin’s arm and stepping back, “We’ll stop distracting you, Miss Independent.” She and Jimin walk across the street, and you pretend not to notice the way she looks back every so often. 

[Today]

“No, it needs to be taller.”

“Sweetheart if it’s any taller, it won’t fit in the house.”

You send your mother a frustrated glance and shake your head. “It will, it just needs to be the right height and shape.”

“Why can’t we just get a fake tree? They’re so much easier to move and put together, wouldn’t that be better?”

“No,” You hiss, scandalized. “Real trees are better overall for the environment, not to mention how you can’t manufacture the smell of pine trees that come with them that set the entire atmosphere. Plus this nursery uses the profits to plant more trees both here and in areas that suffer with deforestation. It’s for a good cause.”

“And that’s why we had to get here at five in the morning?” Your mother asks sarcastically. 

“Yes,” You reply firmly, “Because otherwise all the good trees will be gone and we’ll be forced to choose from the leftovers.” Your mother mumbles something else under her breath, but you don’t hear it. You’re distracted because there it is. The perfect tree.

You’re two steps away from your perfect tree - tall, evenly spaced, full branches, well balanced, with the perfect shade of evergreen - when you hear her. 

“It’s over here,” Yoonji’s voice echoes. “I need the perfect tree, and it’s the best one I’ve found in years.”

You ignore the way your mother lights up and shush her when she tries to call out to Yoonji. You listen closer; your nemesis is still talking, something about needing a tree for someone - which, who leaves tree shopping to the last minute? The only reason you’re here is that you got in late because of the weather - but her voice is definitely getting closer. 

Panicking, you look at your tree. If Yoonji sees it, it’s definitely over. It’s perfect, there’s no way she’ll want any other, and what Yoonji wants, she gets. 

The only real explanation for what happens next is that you’re running on four hours’ sleep and Yoonji tends to make you a little stupid. 

“Get the other side,” You whisper to your mom. She stares at you and doesn’t move. “Hurry up, before they get here!”

Your mother watches for a few seconds as you wrap your arms around the tree, getting pricked in the face with pine needles as you do, and start to tug. It’s a heavy tree, and it’s only just started to shift when the voices get closer. 

“Seriously?!” You exclaim in a harried whisper to your mom. “Not even a push?!”

“You’re trying to steal a tree,” Your mother says. “From a nursery that gives to charity. I’m not helping with that.”

“I’m gonna pay for it later!” Your mother sighs and starts pushing halfheartedly on the other side of the tree.   

“Shit, no, I meant-” Your words are cut off by a grunt as you manage to catch the tree before it falls entirely. It’s heavy against your shoulder, and of course that’s when Yoonji turns the corner, followed by the broadest man you’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing. Both stop in their tracks at the sight of you. 

“Hey Seokjin.” You say, faking a laugh. “How are you? Haven’t seen you this year. Business good?”

“Yeah,” He says, cocking a brow, “When people don’t try to run off with our trees.”

“Who? Me? I would never!” The tree starts digging into your shoulder and your legs tremble. “I just thought I’d load it up for you, y’know, save you the trouble.”

“Oh did you?” There’s amusement in Seokjin’s voice as he fiddles with his ring. “You know our policy, you have to pay before loading.”

You start to stammer out some bullshit about him being busy but you’re only halfway through the excuse when Yoonji says your name.

“It’s alright,” the woman says with a bored voice. “She was loading it up for me. That’s the tree I was coming to show you anyway.”

The weight finally overtakes you, and you crumble under it. You manage to twist so that nothing important is trapped under the trunk, but you get a faceful of needles for your efforts. 

“Maybe you should do it, though, Jin,” Yoonji says. “It looks a little much for the poor dear.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Seokjin huffs. He pulls the tree off of you with what looks like little effort, hefting it over his shoulder so the base drags the ground. “Where are you parked, Yoonji?”

“Load it onto their car,” Yoonji responds. Both you and your mother stare at her in shock. “Consider it an early Christmas present.”

“Oh, well isn’t that sweet of you,” Your mother coos. She points the way to Seokjin and the two head off, chatting amicably as they go. 

You narrow your eyes at Yoonji where she stands, not even offering to help you up from the snow where you still lay.

“What’s wrong with it?” You ask. All she does is quirk a brow. “The tree. Why are you giving it to me? You wouldn’t unless there was something wrong with it. So what is it? Termites? Leaking too much sap? What?”

Yoonji shrugs. “You wanted it,” She says simply. Your blood boils, and she steps back like she doesn’t even notice. 

“You aren’t even going to help me up?” You call as she starts to walk away.

“Good try, Miss Independent,” She calls back. “I think Jungkook’s still in the office if you need him.”

You half-scream a growl as you flop your head back into the snow. A pout forms as you watch the sky start to color with the sunrise. 

You’re going to have to throw away your perfect tree.

[Two Years Ago]

It’s the day of the contest. You’re confident in your decor choices this year, even if you couldn’t get every single thing you had in mind, you decide as you wander the neighborhood to scope out the competition. Last year you went simple and got second place, and you’ve switched it up this year. All out with the best decorations possible. 

You’re going to win. Losing isn’t an option, not again. Not when you were beat by her. 

It doesn’t matter, you remind yourself as you turn the corner onto your parents’ street. Your decorations are as good as they can be. 

Your mood sours a little when you see a figure in the yard across from yours, but the soft beanie and oversized hoodie cheer you up once you notice them. 

“Yoongi!” You call with a smile. The man turns and gives you a gummy grin. “I didn’t know you were in town!”

“Yeah, we got in late last night. Kinda crashed once we did. Then someone dragged us all out to the store early this morning.” He rolls his eyes and you laugh. 

“Well the house looks good. Not as good as mine, obviously,” You tease, “But good.”

“Yeah, you might win this year. Yoonji’s got some good competition.”

You sniffle a little, doing your best to contain your distaste for his twin. 

The Min twins, nearly identical save for the fact that they aren’t the same gender, are easily the best and worst things about the neighborhood. Worst because of that pompous priss Yoonji, obviously. 

Best because Min Yoongi is one of the sweetest people you’ve ever known even if he is a bit shy. You met him last year, when he’d carried in an obscene amount of groceries for your mother and you’d almost mistaken him for his sister. You’d made him coffee to say thanks, the two of you talked, and you’ve been friends ever since. 

“No Jimin?” You ask him. He gestures vaguely to the roof, where you can see a small blue hat bopping around. “Ah. I take it you aren’t finished yet, then.”

“Do you know any other reason my sister would have my boyfriend on the roof?” You share a grin with him as you both watch a strand of lights fly off somewhere. “Apparently she needed to make some last minute adjustments. That’s why she dragged us all out to the store, to hunt down some stuff for her.”

“Oh, did you happen to see one of those big dancing snowmen? The one that plays music, you can control it all from your phone? I looked everywhere and couldn’t find one, it’s the one thing I was missing. Had to use an inflatable yeti instead.” Yoongi frowns. 

“Huh, how weird. That’s what we were-”

“I got it all ready, it just needs to be plugged in.”

Yoonji strides out from the house - looking as good as ever in some plaid pants, how dare she - and stops dead when she looks up and sees you. 

“What are you doing here?” She snaps, and you scoff. 

“Visiting a friend,” You respond with a nod towards Yoongi. You take a glance at the phone in her hand, then up to where you can see Jimin standing up a snowman. “Did you seriously steal my idea?!”

“What? No.”

“Really. Because I distinctly remember telling Jungkook about this yesterday while I was picking up my tree and you were right beside him talking to Seokjin. I was even going to put it on the roof so everyone could watch it dance to Pentatonix covers.”

“Like I would listen when you talk,” Yoonji says. Yoongi sighs but you can barely hear it over the flood of rage. 

“Y’know what? Get fucked,” You tell her as you storm out of their yard and back to your parents’ house. 

“I guess you won’t be coming to the holiday party then?” She calls over the road. You send her a rather vulgar hand gesture in return that you hope your parents don’t see. By the time you get inside, the snowman is playing a Mariah Carey Christmas song and you kind of want to set it on fire. 

You do not win the competition that year. 

[Today]

Maybe you should have listened to your parents when they said not to drive today. Probably you should have taken the big ass truck that your father keeps in the garage specifically for when the weather is bad, because it’s got that fancy four wheel drive and traction control and all sorts of stuff meant to keep people safe in the middle of floods and monsoons and blizzards. You definitely should have remembered to charge your phone before you left the house.

Especially considering that your car isn’t great in the snow now falling gently from the sky to land on your hood, mixing with the smoke pouring out from under it. 

You’re lucky you managed to drift to the side of the road and get your hazard lights on, but that’s where said luck runs out. Your phone is dead, it’s several miles back to the house, even further than that to town, and the temperature is already dropping into dangerous territory. 

You’ve been sitting here for three hours, though, tucked inside the residual warmth of your car with spare blankets wrapped around you as you watched night fall. You’re not sure what else you can do. There aren’t any wild animals around here, or anything like that, but it’s definitely too dangerous to trek back to the house. 

“I should’ve just walked back earlier,” You groan as you bundle the blankets closer. “At least it was warmer then. Stupid car, stupid car, stupid me , didn’t charge your stupid phone, how dumb am I.”

Your tirade against yourself continues for several minutes and includes a few very crafty curses that would make your mother gasp. You’re in the middle of another when lights shine into your mirrors, nearly blinding you. 

The lights slow and come to a stop behind your car. A door shuts and you scramble to exit, ready to get on your knees and beg whoever it is to give you a ride to literally anywhere that has heat. 

It takes a second too long for you recognize the shiny purple jeep and the elegant black peacoat backlit by the headlights, and by the time you do, she’s already got an angry snarl on her face. 

“What the fuck are you doing out here?” She demands. You shiver in response and glare at her. 

“Oh, just hanging out, thought I’d take a little nap beside the road in the freezing cold, the usual y’know,” You bite back. She rolls her eyes and starts back towards her jeep. You frown, watching her, and she stops with one foot inside and her hand on the door. 

“What are you waiting for?” She asks. You shrug, and she huffs. “Get in the fucking car, I’m taking you home before you turn into an icicle.” You don’t move and her frown deepens. “Fine, but if you die out here, I’m not the one that’s going to tell your parents it was because you were too stubborn to accept a ride.”

Guilt gnaws at you, and with a frustrated huff, you stomp your way over to the passenger side of her jeep and climb inside. 

She’s careful as she drives, you notice. Long fingers wrapped tight around the wheel, jaw tensed so hard it could be stone, and one arm leaned against the window after she’s finished turning the heat up as high it will go. 

It’s not even been five minutes when she tosses a thick, fleece-lined blanket at you. You look at her, ready to be pissed off, and she cuts you off before you can complain. 

“Your teeth are chattering so loud that I can’t hear myself think. Try not to get hypothermia before we get there, okay?” You huff a disbelieving laugh but curl into the warmth of the blanket anyway. It feels almost too-warm, like when you pull clothes out of the dryer, but it’s a comfort against your freezing skin. 

“Why are you even here? You aren’t heading back from town, you’re not heading to town. Do you just drive around looking for lost girls?” 

“No,” She says carefully, hand tightening around the wheel. It’s all she says for a full minute before she sighs. “Your parents got worried.”

“What?! ”

“They said you went to town to pick up some salt for the sidewalk and drive, and that it had been hours, and that they hadn’t heard from you again even though you took your phone. They were scared that something had happened, so I…”

Your sarcastic response dies on your tongue when you look at her. Really look. 

Her shoulders are tense and set, in a way you haven’t seen before. Her brows are creased, and the pretty lips you refuse to acknowledge are set in a thin line and turned down at the corners. There’s something fizzling in the air between the two of you, something new and unknown.

“...Were you worried about me?” You ask quietly. She shoots you a look and then laughs, a second too late with not enough amusement. 

“Drink that,” She says, gesturing to a thermos. “It’s coffee, it’ll help you warm up a little.” You take the thermos, thoroughly enjoying the warmth it provides your hands, and take a sip. You don’t know why, but you’re surprised when it’s the exact way you like it. You shoot her a thoughtful look, wondering just how else she might surprise you. 

The rest of the ride is quiet, only the lull of the engine and the tires. Neither of you talk much; perhaps because she’s too angry, but you’re too distracted by your own thoughts to say much. 

There’s no way, right? The two of you hate each other, you have since you met. It tints all your interactions, colors every single conversation where either of you are even mentioned, it’s one of the basic facts of the universe. 

So why, as Yoonji pulls into your parent’s driveway and smiles at where they stand watching from the window, do you have a feeling like maybe you’re wrong?

[One Year Ago]

“Really? Inflatables?”

You scowl and turn, already prepared. There stands Yoonji, arms crossed. The weather is fairly mild for the season, and she’s taking advantage of that. High waisted shorts, an off-the-shoulder top, lace-up boots, leather jacket, she looks like every rebellious lesbian you’ve ever dreamt about, and it only makes you hate her more. 

“Yes, inflatables. Because some of us like a little fun. Besides, you stole my dancing snowman last year, and I wanted something you aren’t going to rip off.”

“I didn’t steal your-”

“Whatever,” You interrupt, not wanting to even bother to listen. “Don’t you have someone else to bother?”

She starts to say something else, but the slam of the front door cuts her off. You turn and grin, waving. 

“Tae! C’mon, put it over here!” 

Taehyung smiles and makes his way over, inflatable deer in his hands. Yoonji’s silent as he gets there and sets the animal where you direct. When he’s finished he turns to you, boxy smile and all, to make sure he’s good, and glances at Yoonji. 

“Oh, you didn’t say you had a friend over,” He whines. “Now I’m being rude. Hi, I’m Kim Taehyung.”

Yoonji doesn’t answer, merely eyes with distaste the hand he’s got extended. 

“Right. Well then, I’m gonna go get the fawn, alright? Be right back.” He smiles at you, and you watch as he jogs back into the house.

“I thought you only brought Namjoon with you this year.” You turn at Yoonji’s words. 

“No, Tae came as well. It’s a good thing, too, because Joon is utterly useless now since he met Yoongi and Jimin. Little punks stole my best friend.” You’re only mostly kidding. You’re happy for Namjoon - he’s been somewhat lonely these days, and now he’s got not one but two handsome men vying for his affection. 

It does reinforce your own loneliness, though. 

“I thought you liked girls.” You look back at Yoonji and notice she’s got a small pout on her face. It’s cute. 

“I do like girls.”

“Then why is Taehyung here?” The way she says his name is full of spite, and it makes you laugh. 

“Sorry, I didn’t realize that I had to get your permission when I want to bring my friends and loved ones up to visit my parents for the holidays.” You adjust the inflatable deer, posing it so that it looks like it’s glaring at Yoonji’s house in anger. 

Taehyung comes back out before Yoonji can say anything. He’s got his jacket off now, and he does look good in the simple white shirt and the headband that makes his hair look even fluffier than usual. You just really can’t focus on anything but the inflatable fawn he’s got tucked under one arm and the matching rabbit tucked under the other. 

Yoonji’s eyes narrow ever so slightly, and you roll your eyes. 

“You need another deer,” She spits before she turns around and stomps back to her house. Taehyung shoots you a look. 

“I take it that’s Yoonji, then,” He says with a laugh. You make a puking sound and he tuts at you. “You’re supposed to be nice. That is not nice.”

“Yeah, well, she didn’t steal your dancing snowman, did she?”

Across the street, you can see Yoonji fuming as she stands on the porch, talking to Yoongi about something or other. They both look over and while your first instinct is to turn around like you haven’t been watching them, you resist. Instead, you give Yoongi a bright wave. He doesn’t return it but his frown lessens slightly, though that could be because Jimin stumbles, laughing, out of your parents’ house with Namjoon not far behind him. 

Both of them have hearts in their eyes, and it only gets worse when they look at Yoongi. 

“That’s disgusting,” Taehyung says with a wrinkle of his nose. “Eugh, they’re so couple-y and gross. Remind me not to come next year if Namjoon’s here.”

“Oh no,” You tell him with a grin as you wrap him in a hug. He’s warm and solid against you, as he always is, and you thoroughly enjoy it. “If I have to struggle, you do too.”

“Fine,” He whines dramatically. “But I’m bringing Hobi so he has to suffer, too.” You laugh and set him to work organizing the inflatable animals. There are eyes on your back the entire time, but you refuse to turn around and give Yoonji the satisfaction. 

Especially once you realize that you do need another deer to make it look balanced and perfect.

[Today]

The holiday party is well underway by the time you arrive at Yoonji’s, however reluctantly you do so. Your mother and father disappear almost immediately, sucked into conversations with people they’ve known for years now; Tae and Hobi are tucked into a corner, nursing glasses of cider while they look at the rather extensive Winter Village display on the Mins mantle; Namjoon has been here for hours already, and is no doubt locked away in Yoongi’s room with the man himself, and Jimin, and you choose to believe that they’re having some philosophical discussion and not doing anything else. 

You think you catch a glimpse of Jungkook amidst the people from the neighborhood, but by the time you get to where he was, there’s no sign of him, or the broad-shouldered man he’s usually with. Abandoned in the kitchen, you pour yourself some cider and spike it with a hint of rum, just to get you through the night. 

“Where’s your boyfriend?” A voice says. 

When you turn, you find Hwasa perched on the countertop, Chungha leaning back between her legs. Both are watching you curiously, and both look absolutely fantastic in figure-hugging dresses and tights and heeled boots. They look like they just stepped off a runway, but the look in their eyes feels more like a panther than a model. 

“What boyfriend?” You ask eventually. 

“Tall, great chest, soft hair,” Hwasa says. When you just stare at her, she smiles a little. “Boxy smile.”

“Oh, Tae?” You laugh a little. “He isn’t my boyfriend. I’m not even interested in him like that, he’s just my best friend.” The two women share a look and Chungha kisses her cheek before heading out of the room. Hwasa eyes you and you have the distinct feeling you’re being judged. 

You thought you looked okay when you picked out the simple but nicer outfit; black sweater, maroon skirt, tall black boots. It’s classy but casual. You’re sure of it. 

At least you were. 

“So tell me about this thing with Yoonji,” Hwasa eventually says. You nearly choke on your cider. 

“I mean...there’s not much to tell. We’ve hated each other ever since we met four years ago.”

“Oh?” Something lights up in her eyes that you don’t particularly like. 

“Look, no offense to you or your girlfriend, Yoonji’s just...kinda mean for my tastes. I guess some people are into that.”

“Elaborate.” Her tone leaves no room for argument, and you find yourself explaining before you can stop. You tell her nearly everything, about all the shit Yoonji’s done to you, and by the time you’re finished, she’s actually smiling.

“Like...I’m sure you love her and all, otherwise you wouldn’t be dating her, but-”

“What? ” She nearly falls off the counter, she’s laughing so hard, and when you start to help steady her, she just waves you off. “No, sweetie, I’m dating Chungha, not Yoonji.”

“I thought you were dating both of them? Did you all break up?”

“Oh my god , she wasn’t kidding,” Hwasa says breathlessly, still fighting back giggles. “Holy shit, this explains so much. Ha, oh my god, no, we never were dating Yoonji, she’s just our best friend. Like you and that Taehyung guy?”

“Oh.” You feel foolish; it makes sense, friends can be just as physically close as romantic partners. You and Taehyung are proof enough of that. “I...just assumed…”

“I know, but you’re definitely wrong. You drink more cider, stew on that, maybe rethink things from another perspective, I’ve got to tell Chungha about this, it’s too good.” Hwasa hops off the counter with ease and disappears out the door before you can ask her to explain what she means about other perspectives. You can hear giggles as they slowly drown in the chatter of the party and the soft carols playing over the speakers. 

You stay in the kitchen for a while, nursing your cider and thinking. If Yoonji doesn’t have two model-hot girlfriends, then could you have been onto something in the jeep that night? You’ve hated her for so long, and assumed that she hates you in return, but if you were wrong about the girlfriends, then maybe you’re wrong about that, too. 

Something enters your vision and you look up, nearly spitting out your drink as you do. 

Yoonji stands in front of you, in a slinky green velvet dress that she keeps tugging the bottom of. It doesn’t look like anything she usually wears, down to the floral lace tights and the wedge heels that make her even taller than she already is, and she looks slightly uncomfortable if the burn in her cheeks is any indication. 

The worst part is that she looks good. Like, good good. It suits her, even if it isn’t her usual style, and for once you can’t deny the attraction swirling within your stomach. 

“What are you wearing?” She asks angrily, glaring down at your clothes like they kicked her dog - whom you have not seen tonight, which is a travesty, because you adore Holly. A cough echoes from somewhere behind the two of you, and Yoonji wrinkles her nose. “I mean...I like...your outfit.”

You quirk a brow at her and set your cider down on the counter nearby. “Really? Because it looks like you want to tear it off and then set it on fire.” Something complicated happens with her expression and a spark ignites in your mind. 

“Are you sick?” She asks. Her face does something else complicated as a groan echoes from nearby, and something painful twists in your stomach. You really didn’t think you looked that bad. “I mean, after the other day. With the snow. And the cold. Are you sick?”

“Is...this your way of telling me I look ill?” You ask her. She frowns. “Because if wanted me to leave your party, all you had to do was say that, you don’t have to insult me.” You head toward the door of the kitchen and there’s a scrambling that sounds much too loud for just her friends. 

So your friends are also eavesdropping. Fantastic. Now everyone knows she’s insulted you. Just what you needed tonight. 

Her hand catches your wrist as you’re about to leave the kitchen. “I didn’t mean it like that,” She mumbles, not making eye contact. “I just...wanted to make sure you were feeling okay. It was really cold that night, and you were out there for a long time.” 

“So, what, you suddenly care? Why? Because you don’t want to win by default or something?”

“No, because I-” She cuts herself off with a groan, and you’re glad there are so many people around, because it seems like everyone’s distracted with something else. They’re too busy to notice this absolutely disastrous conversation. 

“Hey look,” Taehyung says, appearing from nowhere and pulling roughly on Yoonji’s arm until she’s standing beside you in the doorway. “Mistletoe! How random! Guess you have to kiss!”

“That’s a stupid tradition,” Yoonji spits, and you’re inclined to agree with her. “Forcing people to kiss just because of some plant? How is that okay? Besides, it’s got nothing to do with the actual myth behind it, and-” She sounds like she could go on forever, but you cut her off. 

“And it’s not like we want to kiss anyway.” Her grip on your wrist slackens, and you turn to look at her. Uncertainty fills you as you look at her expression, because the only word that comes to mind is crestfallen. “Right?”

“I...I mean…” Taehyung disappears as Yoonji searches for words, and you just know he’s hanging out somewhere nearby to watch it all happen. 

“Because we’re nemeses.” You say slowly. “We hate each other.”

“Do we?” Yoonji asks quietly, threading her fingers through yours. “Do you?”

“Don’t you? ” You ask her. “You’ve been nothing but rude to me since we met. You’ve insulted me, and stolen my decorating ideas, and-”

“No,” She says quickly. “No, I never meant any of it like that, you just never gave me a chance to explain. You’re...you’re so pretty, and I always get flustered around pretty people, and I say the wrong things.”

“You told me I wasn’t as good if I didn’t have a significant other the first time we met.”

“I was trying to figure out if you were interested in women, and when you said you were, I just...panicked, because I figured you had someone, because you’re…” She gives a wave to your general being. 

“You stole my dancing snowman.”

“I did not! I heard someone talking about a dancing snowman at the tree nursery, and I didn’t realize it was you, and I thought, since I couldn’t stop thinking about you, I’d get a dancing snowman that would play this cheesy playlist thing I made for you. I didn’t know you were looking for it, and I didn’t steal your idea. Not on purpose, anyway.”

“Okay, well...last year you were so rude! And you said you wouldn’t listen when I talked!”

“I thought…” She trails off, looking ashamed. “I thought you were dating Taehyung, and I got jealous. But the listening comment wasn’t like that! It’s because I always zone out because I like to listen to you talk, because your voice is so pretty, but I never hear what you actually say, and also you just...are really pretty. So I get distracted.”

“I…” You’re rather speechless; your entire world has shifted on its axis. “I thought you hated me.”

“Never.” Yoonji insists. “I just don’t know how to talk to pretty girls.”

“You hang out with Hwasa. And Chungha.”

“Yeah, and?” Her brows furrow. “What’s your point?” If you could, you would keysmash at her, but as it stands, you just gape. 

“Uh, they’re literally model gorgeous?”

“Oh, are they?” She looks down at where your fingers are still entwined with hers. “I hadn’t noticed.”

You blink at her, and she looks up at you. There’s a faint smile playing on her lips, and something bright in her eyes that you haven’t seen before. 

“I’m sorry,” You say, shaking your head. “I just still don’t-”

“Will you shut up?” Yoonji asks, free hand coming to gently glide across your cheek. “And let me kiss you?” Your jaw shuts with a snap and you nod. 

Her lips are soft against your own, and your breath catches in your throat as you return the kiss. Her hand moves to grip your jaw, tilting your head ever so slightly so the two of you fit together that little bit better, and your hands come to rest on her hips. 

Electricity sparks through you to her. She pulls back just a little and you’re distracted by the way her tongue darts out to wet her lips. 

“This might be moving a little fast, since we hated each other an hour ago-”

“You hated me an hour ago,” She corrects. 

“But I would be very, very happy taking this to a more private area so I can express to you just how apologetic I am that I thought you hated me.” You tear your gaze from her lips to look at her face. Her eyes are dark, pupils blown out at the mere thought. 

“Upstairs,” She growls, already pushing you in the direction of the staircase. You’re both speeding through the crowd of people as fast as you can without being obvious, and you have to help her every few feet because she’s wobbly in her heels, but by the time you make it up the stairs and into her room, you’re both desperate. 

Her mouth meets yours with a fire behind it that you’ve never felt before, and you hardly even get the door closed before she pushes you back against it. Your tongue darts along the seam of her lips and she grants you entrance, and you could moan at just the taste of her if you were just a little weaker. 

“Do you know how many times I’ve thought about this?” She whispers, moving to nip at your neck. Her hands are under your sweater and you don’t even remember them getting there, but you can’t complain as they move to cup your breasts and tweak your nipples through your bra. “Can you even imagine how many times I’ve dreamt of touching you? Tasting you? Hearing you moan?” 

She bites, hard and rough, and you can’t stop the moan that escapes you. How she possibly knows that you like that is something you don’t have the energy to ponder, nor the will to question. 

“Please,” You breathe, hands tangling in her hair as she sucks a mark into the skin of your throat. She’s slotted between your thighs and your hips are rutting against hers ever so slightly, desperate for some friction. You know you’ve already soaked through your panties, which is a feat considering all she’s done is play with your nipples a little and kiss you like you’ve never been kissed. 

“What is it, angel?” Her voice is deeper than usual, roughened by the desire coursing through your veins and hers, and it only makes you wetter. “What would you like me to do?”

“Anything,” You plead. “Please, just touch me.” 

“Anything?” Yoonji mutters. She chuckles, low and raspy and so unbearably attractive that you want to scream. You almost do scream, from frustration, when she pulls her hands away from your nipples, but she drops to her knees and you forgive her. 

Yoonji kisses up your thighs, from the edge of your boots all the way to where the hem of your skirt hits mid-thigh, and her hands are warm as they slide underneath. She doesn’t stop kissing you, not even as she lifts the fabric of your skirt and nips at the crease where your thighs meet your hips. Still, she’s so far away from where you need her, that you can’t help your whine. 

“Patience, angel,” She whispers as she glides one finger along your fabric-covered lips. Your hips rut forward on instinct, and she laughs a little. 

“You stole my dancing snowman, you could at least be quick about this,” You mutter. 

“What’s the fun in being rushed?” She leans forward to mouth at your pussy through your underwear and your legs tremble slightly. She’s gentle as her hands slide your underwear down to pool around your ankles, and even more gentle as they glide back up to rest on your thighs. “But I’ll be nice this time. Besides, I’ve been dreaming of what this pussy tastes like for years.”

Anything else you might say to her is cut off with a moan as her tongue starts to tease at your clit. One of your hands comes to rest on the back of her hair before you even realize you’ve moved, and she takes that as all the encouragement she needs. 

Yoonji eats pussy like it’s the last meal she’ll ever have, and you’re in absolute awe. The way her tongue moves against you is absolute bliss, no matter where it is; she teases at your entrance, sliding the very tip of her tongue inside to gather your wetness before she runs the flat of it up to your clit, where she circles and sucks mercilessly before moving back down to thrust it in and out and in and out relentlessly. She coaxes an orgasm out of you faster than anyone else ever has, and even as your writhing against the door with her head under your skirt, she doesn’t stop. 

Instead, she slides one long finger inside of you and keeps it there. She doesn’t move it, doesn’t even allow it to twitch, but it’s there and you can feel it as she wraps her lips around your clit and sucks, making your clench around her. She moans into your pussy, too, the entire time she’s at work between your legs, and it only turns you on more when you glance down to see her hand between her legs. 

“Yoonji, please, I want, please, I wanna taste you too, please,” You beg, tugging gently on her hair until she pulls back. Her chin is covered in your cum and the sight is so unbelievably unerotic that you could probably come just from that. 

“Take this off,” She growls, pulling on your skirt as she stands. You do as she says without hesitation, more than willing to get naked if it means getting your mouth on her, and by the time your boots are in the corner with the rest of your clothes, she’s just as naked as you are. 

And god, she’s beautiful. 

Your lips meet hers again as you push her towards the bed, and you can taste yourself on her tongue as it slides against yours. The two of you tumble onto the mattress and you situate yourself between her thighs. It isn’t until you’ve got her legs spread wide and your licking and sucking at her nipples that you register that her face is flushed with something new. 

“What is it?” You ask, panting, as you detach from her - beautiful, wonderful, adorable, perfect - tits. “Do you not want me to? I don’t have to, I just would really like to, it’s up to you.”

“No, it’s not that, I’ve just never…” She trails off, looking embarrassed, and realization smacks you in the face. 

“No one has ever gone down on you before?” You ask in disbelief. She shakes her head. 

“I’ve always been the one to do so, all the other girls have been kind of...well. I’m usually the dominant one, so…”

“Yoonji, sweetheart,” You say seriously, pressing a kiss to her cheek with each word. “Will you allow to me to eat you out? Because seriously, those other girls are trash, and I would absolutely cherish the experience if it’s something you want.”

Her face turns even more pink and she nods. You press a quick kiss to her lips and gently spread her thighs so you have better access. You mimic her actions from earlier, pressing kisses to her thighs and the crease of her hips. When you finally get a taste of her, you moan. 

She tastes like absolute fucking bliss, you decide as you glide your tongue through her folds. You could live off of nothing but the taste for her until the end of time itself, and the way she moves is amazing. Little jerks and thrusts, and her fingers tangle in your hair to push you closer even as her hips pull away slightly. 

Your tongue rubs circles around her clit, flicking and licking and coaxing her closer and closer to her high. You dip down to fuck your tongue into her for a second or two, and the way her back arches is art in motion. You reach one hand up to tweak one of her nipples while your other arm remains wrapped around her hip like a steel bar, keeping her in place even as she grinds against your mouth. 

You remember how it felt earlier when she wrapped her lips around your clit, so you mimic the action. Her bud fits perfectly between your lips, and when you suck on it, she tenses. Everything stops for a second, and you’re afraid maybe you ruined it, but then her whole body jerks, and she presses you hard against her. You lap up her essence as it comes, eager and more than willing, and when she finally stops spasming, you pull yourself away with a grin. 

“Holy shit,” She mutters, and you laugh. 

“I can’t believe no one’s ever eaten you out before,” You sigh, one hand sliding along her waist to massage her breasts. “Does that mean no one’s ever fucked you before either?”

“I mean…” You stop, staring at her with wide eyes. “I told you, I’m usually the dominant one, so most people don’t really...return the favor.”

“Can I please fuck you?” You ask in a rush. “Please, I promise I’ll be gentle.” She huffs a little, and you think it’s amused but you can’t be sure, because she’s spreading her legs again and your focus is elsewhere. 

“Yeah, angel, you can fuck me.”

You lower yourself to kiss her, lingering and deep, and you don’t miss the moan she gives as she tastes herself on your tongue. You wait until she’s thoroughly distracted by the way your mouths move, then glide your fingers over her. 

Her clit is still sensitive, based on the way she jumps as you ghost your fingers over it, so you avoid that. You don’t want to overwhelm her. She groans as you slide a single single finger inside her, and you moan. 

Her walls are softer than the velvet of her dress, and warm around you. She’s tight, too, so incredibly tight that you aren’t sure you’ll be able to fit another inside her. She moans as you slide your finger out and then back in, gathering more of her wetness as you do. 

You’re careful as you fuck her, gentle and slow, and you think you could get addicted to it. Her hips move in time with your hand, gaining speed as you do. “Fuck, angel, it’s so good,” She whimpers. You smile. 

“Let me know if it gets too much, okay?” She nods, and you start to slide a second finger in. Yoonji winces, just a little, so you slow until her hips rock against your hand. 

“More,” She breathes. “Please, more.”

“As you wish,” You tell her. You still are gentle as you thrust into her, feeling her walls contract around you. It’s heaven, absolute perfection, and you tell her so as she grips onto the sheets. 

You latch your mouth onto her nipple as you continue fucking her, biting and sucking as your fingers curl. 

“I need, ah, please, I need more, I need, holy fuck, to come, I need to come,” She moans desperately. You grin and curl your fingers more, sliding them against her walls. You finally find what you’re looking for, that small spongey spot that has her convulsing around you. 

“That’s right, baby,” You coo, “Come on, I know you want to.”

Her hands are in a death grip on your shoulders, and they only get tighter as you press harder against that spot inside her. She comes with a cry that you muffle with your own mouth, her body shaking as she lets go. 

You slide your fingers out when she’s relaxed a little more, licking the taste of her off as she pants. 

“Holy shit,” She breathes. You grin, peppering kisses along her stomach, up her chest, along her throat and over her cheeks. “Can we do that every day?”

“I dunno,” You tease. “Are you going to steal my dancing snowman again?”

She rolls her eyes and shoves at your shoulder, and you laugh. 

“I’m just saying, you’re supposed to be nice to the people you like.”

“I’m bad at that, though,” She mutters. “I always just...say the wrong thing. I’m more of a do-er.”

“I’m still caught up on how I was supposed to know you liked me based on the things you did.”

“Really?” She huffs, glaring at you playfully. “I went tree shopping at five in the morning for you.”

“Yeah,” You say softly, grinning. “You did.”

25 Days of Christmas: A BTS Christmas Anthology 

[gaillol-13]

"Hey, why the long face?"

Benjamin looked up to see a small boy, about his age, with brown slick hair, a black and blue striped jacket, and black shorts, in front of him.

"G-go away!!" Benjamin shouted, eyes welding with tears non-stop, and that was humiliating enough. To be shown sitting on the bench at recess, sobbing like the pathetic bratty nobody he is. He didn't deserve attention, he didn't deserve-

"I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong."

Benjamin sniffled "Why do you care? Its non of your business." He buried his face in his arms.

"Well that doesn't mean I shouldn't know about it. Plus, according to Ms. Undorstud, its affecting your grades." The kid sat down next to him. And Benjamin went silent.

"Look, I understand if you dont wanna talk about it, there are things that hurt alot. But I'm here for you, and if theres anything that will make you feel better, I'll help." Benjamin felt the boy's hand on his shoulder. "Okay?"

Benjamin was speechless, he never had a stranger care about him, or his feelings. He looked at the kid's warm smile, and thought for a moment.

He does care...

"Ada..."

The boy cocked his head in confusion, "Huh?"

Benjamin was now facing the other boy, still having tears run down his cheeks.

"She was my little sister, born years ago, me and my twin brother Jasper loved her very much. She was so energetic, goofy, a little annoying, but most of all, she was so optimistic. She looked up to us, so me and Jasper home-schooled her..."

The boy then saw Benjamin's face scrunch up, eyes closed shut, breathing became shaky. As if he didn't want to remember these memories, like he just wanted them to go away.

"F-for weeks a-ago..." his voice started to crack, "She got-t hit...by a car and-..."

The kid let out a small gasp as he realized what Benjamin ment, his little sister died.

The latter hesitated to keep going.

"Ma wasn't looking and-...Jasper hated her, he hated her for it. And then Pa was so upset he-... he got a rope."

Benjamin then bursted into even more tears, and covered his face with his arm. "There," he wiped the snot off his nose "You happy? You gonna tell everyone I'm a wimp?"

The kid stared at him in disbelief, "Why would I do that?!"

"Because-*sniff*- because c-crying over-*sob* something like that i-s stupid."

"Losing a family member isn't stupid!!" The boy's voice almost hissed, "it's a big deal!! You lose them forever!! You cared for them!! You have every right to be upset!!!"

"But-" Benjamin stopped for a moment to dry his tears and face, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "People said that crying is showing weakness, a-and-"

The boy then grabbed Ben's shoulders, making him flinch.

"Dude..." He looked at him with an intense look in his topaz-colored eyes, they seemed the pierce through him. The ladder swallowed hard, lost for words.

"We don't cry because your weak." The kid used his thumb to wipe away the tears, now cupping Benjamin's cheek. "We cry because we've been strong for too long. And in your case, you've been superman for years."

"R-really?" Benjamin felt his heart stop for a moment, then a spark of hope.

"Of course, its totally normal to cry about things like this. Heck, it would be horrible if you didn't feel sad about it! Trust me, I may not know exactly how it feels to be in your shoes, but I did lose my grandparents in a fire."

The boy's eyes then spawned tears, but his smile still remained.

"It hurts alot, more than anything in the world, to lose someone who is so close to you, and you feeling responsible for it. But that's okay, cuz you know what? They'll want us to live our lives without them, so we can be okay, so we can cherish the past and make our future. For them..."

He nodded, and Benjamin took it as his cue to let it out of his system, which he did, for 4 minutes. 4 minutes of crying, 4 minutes of yelling, 4 minutes of him crying on the kid's shoulder (who was patting his back).

After that, he felt a bit better. Even chuckled a little.

"Heh, thanks."

The boy grinned, feeling proud of himself, "No problem, and remember I'm always here for you."

Hearing those words warmed Benjamin's heart. He then looked at the boy who just made him feel better. Wow, seeing the said boy so full of pride was both intimidating and inspiring, he's super nice too.

"Hey, um would you like to come visit me?"

The boy turned to him. So he kept going.

"I have a secret hideout at the forest, we can go there."

The boy's eyes lit up, "Are you kidding? That would be awesome!! Oh! By the way, I didn't get your name."

"Benjamin Krupp, but I go by Benny or Jammer, Yours?"

"Theodore murdsly, but I go by Ted or Teddy."

[hermits-that-craft]

This Is Home - Nonbinary Iskall

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25972159

*Laughs in agender* it’s projection time

Iskall stares into the mirror, trying to work out what’s wrong. He doesn’t understand it. Something feels wrong, and he can’t work it out. Tears well up in his eyes, threatening to fall out even as he tries to blink them away.

His hair hits his shoulders now.

Everyone says it looks nice, Stress will braid it absentmindedly if he sits down in hermit meetings, no one pokes fun at his hair. No one pokes fun at him, most of the hermits even saying that he looks really nice with it. Iskall runs his hands through it, wondering why it feels so wrong , so unnatural . He thought he liked it!

Maybe it’s too short.

---

"Your hair is looking nice today my dude!" Ren says from the doorway of The Omega Store, watching as Iskall restocks. Something eats away at Iskall's stomach, confusing him. The same thing that makes him feel bad looking in a mirror is here .

"Thank you!" Iskall tries to smile, trying to ignore the chaotic dread growing in his gut.

"You should grow it longer, it suits you!" Ren pats Iskall on the back. "Be the first man in hermitcraft with middle of the back long hair!"

Man . That's not right. Why is that not right?

---

Iskall stares at the computer screen, reading over the words. Transgender. Euphoria. Dysphoria. The words wash over Iskall. The words make sense, the words fit him - her? - situation.

She.

Iskall will try she .

---

Iskall lets her hair grow out, subtly asking Stress for help. She came out to Stress soon after, when Stress offered to cut her hair.

Stress was lovely, accepting her. So was Grian, and Mumbo. Scar too, jokingly saying that Iskall started in the body Scar should have started in.

She doesn't tell anyone else, and the jungle hermits keep their lips locked.

---

Iskall stares in the mirror, wondering why she still has dysphoria, why isn't it stopping? She thought she had it figured out.

She collapses to the floor, tears jerking out of her eyes. It isn't fair.

---

“Your hair looks nice today.” Cub says, sitting next to Iskall as the hermits slowly show up for the weekly meeting. “It’s getting pretty long, since you can put it into a bun.”

“Yeah.” Iskall looks towards the middle of the room, panic in her brain. She isn’t a girl. She isn't a boy. None of this makes sense .

Stress thinks she should come out at the meeting today.

She can’t. She cant come out, not when she doesn’t know who she is. Not when none of this makes sense . Stress sends her a thumbs up from across the room, and fear settles in her heart, digging and clawing its way into her veins. This isn’t right .

Iskall can’t hear Xisuma speak. Her - no, her isn’t right. Why aren't any of them right? They is nice, but no one will respect that. He, she, those are singular. The hermits would -

“Iskall, you wanted to say something?” Xisuma says quietly, and Iskall’s head snaps up. Everyone is looking at them, and they can’t speak, they can’t think , it hurts . None of the hermits have any eyes, it’s too bright theres too many colours here. They stand, nervousness eating at their throat.

And they run.

They can’t think, it hurts too much. There’s too much here. They can’t think , it’s too much. They run, then they fall off something and they fly. They can’t even tell what dimension they’re in, everything merges together and they can hardly see let alone think about where they are.

They crash land into the side of something, curling up into a ball where they land. It hurts . It hurts, their entire side blooming in pain. They never should have gone to the meeting, they never should have told anyone that they thought they were a girl. They aren’t a girl! They aren’t a boy! They just are .

---

They sit in Doc’s bathroom, a pair of scissors in their hands. Doc found them, shivering and bruised, on top of the Goat Mother after they flew off. Doc didn’t ask anything, didn’t judge them as they were brought into his half of the mansion, just letting them rest and heal. They stared at the ceiling of the room, tears in their eyes. They don’t want to fall asleep, not yet.

Doc didn’t ask why they left. Doc didn’t judge, just handing them a pair of scissors when they asked for them.

They bring the scissors to their hair, taking a deep breath in. They start cutting, tearing unevenly through their hair as they struggle to reach the back of their head. They don’t stop, not until the tears block their vision and their hand shakes too much to continue. They collapse to the floor, holding onto the sink as they try to stop crying.

Doc runs in, shock on his face as he sees Iskall kneeling on the floor, sobbing into the side of the sink. Doc helps Iskall up, helping them to a seat outside the bathroom.

“Is it your side?” Doc asks quietly, kneeling by their side.

“I’m not a boy.” Iskall blurts out, tears in their eyes. “I’m not a girl either, I can’t keep pretending , Doc.”

“Okay.” Doc says, smiling at them. “That’s, that’s amazing. They/them?”

“ Yes .” Iskall sobs, pulling Doc into a hug. “Thank you.”

“Does Stre- Anyone else know?”

“No.”

“That’s alright. You don’t have to tell them if you aren’t ready.”

---

Iskall stayed with Doc for a few days, ignoring the hermits and building small redstone circuits under Doc’s back garden. They don’t speak that much, getting used to their pronouns. To hear them said. It’s nice. They don’t want to leave. It’s safe, working under the garden as Doc plants bushes and flowers.

“The others are worried about you.” Doc calls down into the hole that Iskall is sitting in, trying to invent a better redstone circuit. “You need to tell them that you’re okay, even if it’s just in the group chat. I think they might raid if you don’t.”

They don’t want to. They don’t want to see the rejection in the others eyes. They haven’t even worked out what they are, though Doc suggested ‘Nonbinary’ and ‘Agender’. The first one fits like an oversized sweater, comforting and large. The second one fits better, though Iskall doesn’t know if they’ll use it. The agender flag is nice though.

“You don’t have to, I could send a picture to the group chat, but I think Xisuma will come around anyways.” Doc slides down the ladder, walking over to them. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

“You sound like a Dad.”

“I’ll call you kid later,” Doc smirks, messing with Iskall’s hair, “or kiddo.”

---

Iskall hides behind a wall, trying to ignore the fear in their chest as Xisuma, Stress, Grian and Mumbo talk to Doc. They can’t breathe, not as the small group exchanges pleasantries and small talk, clearly waiting for them. They can hear someone tap their foot impatiently, either Grian or Stress, and they try to stand, to leave the wall and face the facts.

“Is sh- Is Iskall alright?” Stress’ voice is harsh, and Iskall can’t help but to flinch away. “You said that Iskall was alright, why isn’t sh-”

“I said that they’re fine.” Doc interrupts her, and Iskall can hear the eye roll. “You petrified Iskall, no wonder they’re having trouble coming out here. You can’t force someone out, Stress.”

“What?” Xisuma says, and Iskall ducks their head around the door. Xisuma is looking at Stress, who has her hands in the air. Doc has his back to the door, though he’s clearly looking at Grian. Mumbo makes eye contact with Iskall, sending them a little wave and a questioning look.

“Doc, may I use your restroom for a second?” Mumbo asks politely, a smile under his mustache.

“Go ahead.” Doc waves off the tall redstoner, who dips behind the door, offering a hand to Iskall.

“You alright?” Mumbo mumbles.

“I’m scared.”

“Don’t be. We all love you, ‘Skall. You don’t have to be afraid.”

“I don’t think I’m a girl or a boy, Mumbo.”

“Then you’re just Iskall, unless that's not the name you want. You are you. We won’t stop supporting you because of something as simple as that .”

---

“You’re looking nice today my friend!” Ren says as Iskall restocks the Omega Store. “I like the little braids in your hair, did you do them or someone else?”

“I did them, it makes me feel nice.” Iskall smiles, a warm feeling in their chest.

Why did they think the hermits wouldn’t accept them?

They’re family.

[cartoonemotion]

How do fethsteel get together?

ah, the ultimate question....

so i really really love both @zara2148 and @based-ducks concepts that they posted for how fethry and steelbeak meet, and i definitely think abt them all the time now, but when i was putting together the ship in more detail in my head, one of the first things i thought of was like, after the double o duck debacle steelbeak of course taking bradford’s speech the absolute wrong way and deciding that he needs to really go out of his way to get some Dirt on the mcduck family so he can start one-upping heron and other members of F.O.W.L. so he can climb the ladder past just the label of “strongman”

 idk if its by a mix up of some kind or an intentional decision, but the mcduck family he ends up going after is fethry, and he concocts this (very flimsy) cover of being fethry’s new research assistant, which he thinks he can play bc of all the time he’s spent watching heron in the lab. fethry’s not put off by his lack of qualifications or anything bc he also just started being a scientist so he’s like wow a research assistant great ! welcome aboard !!

anyways it’s sort of a semi-slow burn from there.... the more they kind of end up around each other the more steelbeak is exposed to the first positive affirmation and plain decency uh Ever in his life and he doesn’t rlly know how to handle it uh at all and will admit to liking fethry cuz yknow hes not bad for a mcduck or whatever, plus he thinks his overall disposition is kind of funny and better than being around all the other stuffy F.O.W.L, but that can’t mean that he can capital L Like him bc theyre enemies and stuff and its all for the mission and ALSO hes a Tough Guy soon to be criminal mastermind who obviously doesnt need to be caught up in mushy gushy feelings stuff so there !!!

fethry himself is really excited to have a friend and he thinks sb is Great even if he has some rough edges... he asks really great questions and he’s amazed by his confidence and this sort of air of Mystery he’s got. but he doesn’t realize steelbeak also has his own little crush, in his own... steelbeak way.... and doesn’t want to move too fast or do anything to scare steelbeak off after theyve managed to become friends !! so they have a lot of What Are We moments...

then theres a turning point Obvs F.O.W.L figures out hes mulling around a mcduck clan member which hes NOT supposed to do and theyre like you fuck up. u absolute fool. youve really done it this time youre gonna wish you were back in prison and steelbeak’s like Hm this is Not Good so he spills his guts to fethry abt being in F.O.W.L and everything and fethry is a little hurt that their friendship was built on a Lie but steelbeak in a rare moment of vulnerability is like but NOW its real so he helps him escape F.O.W.L’s wrath and fethry’s like ok i can forgive you cuz that situation was fucked but u have to be completely honest with me from here on out ok and its Hard for steelbeak but they work through it... and then once F.O.W.L’s out of the way and steelbeak has been trying this “honesty” and “emotions” thing for a while hes like i maybe kind of sort of possibly maybe Feelings. for you. and fethry’s like :- o WHAT same !!!! abd start a relationship...

that might’ve been more than u wanted but i have a lot of Thots about them ok

[excvlsior]

about: *leo fowler.

basics.

full name: leopold kristoff fowler meaning of name: leopold = ‘people’ & ‘bold’, kristoff = ‘bearing christ’ nickname: leo, tadpole by some family members age: 23 date of birth: november 12, 1996 hometown: tallahassee, florida nationality: american ethnicity: dutch gender: demiboy sexuality: pansexual spoken languages: dutch, english profession: in lovell he’s a part time student and works at fowler’s flowers, but just the latter in st. louis

appearance.

height: 6′2″ eye colour: blue hair colour: auburn??? i feel like that’s the version of if someone had strawberry blond hair bt . strawberry brown instead??? idk it’s reddy-brown voice: pretty deep, surprisingly smooth jst feel like he has the personality of someone with a rougher voice bt . alas...... obnoxiously thick southern accent tattoos: c’est la vie on his ribcage, kristoff on his hip, ‘x’ on the inside of his middle finger done in shitty stick and poke, ‘L’ done in stick and poke on the side of his wrist, heart with a knife through it on his chest, tattoo inside his lip that says ‘pussy master’* :pensive:, ‘ouch’ on the bottom of both soles of his feet*, a hand giving the middle finger on the back of his left calf, dolly parton’s signature on the top of his thigh from when he got it at one of her concerts, a smiley face on his ass* >_>, a melting popsicle on the back of his right bicep*, ghost face mask on his right shin; * = he did them on a dare LKHSDGKLHLSDG piercings: lobes, right cartilage, industrial bar in his left ear, nostril, had an eyebrow and lip piercing when he was younger clothing style: pretty dishevelled and purposely ill prepared outfits, sometimes u can catch him in just plaid and khakis but more often than not he’s in something weird, his prized possession is a leopard print shirt that has a heart in the center, steals clothes from his aunt and uncle when he has nothing clean/can’t bother finding anything, been seen in marj’s skirts and leggings bc of this, and then on the other hand he’ll wear like a lime green tank top with a monster baseball cap worn sideways his style is just carefree and eclectic

health.

physical ailments: n/a neurological conditions: bipolar i disorder allergies: n/a sleeping habits: pretty much only falls asleep between the hours of 3-5 am, doesn’t matter if he works the morning or afternoon shift....... if he doesn’t work at all he’ll just sleep until his body naturally wakes up which is also usually around 3-5 pm KLSDGLKHSDGLKHDG exercise habits: doesn’t exactly have one..... he’s a pretty active and energetic guy so he’s usually up and about doing whatever anyway, also rides his bike everywhere since marj and steve r usually out with the only car they have sociability: loves being around people but he’ll eventually grow cranky, doesn’t necessarily need to be alone but at least with a different group of people if he gets to this point, the only time he actively doesn’t really want to see people is when he’s having a depressive episode but those don’t last too long as is drink / smoke / drugs: yes / yes / yes

personality.

positive traits: adventurous, courageous, determined, funny, gregarious, independent, quick-witted, tough, versatile negative traits: belligerent, cantankerous, foolhardy, harsh, impulsive, parsimonious, sarcastic, tactless, unpredictable, vulgar goals/desires: lowkey he’d never admit it but he just kinda wants his parents’ approval in the end, and also maybe to find something better than supervisor at a flower store (no offence to marj and steve its just not his dream) fears: staying committed and missing out on different opportunities/people that could change his life, the fact that he probably can’t do any better than be a supervisor at a flower store tbh hobbies: drinking, drawing a bit tbh, thrifting, loves collecting random knick knacks and is personally loving buttons rn, harassing his friends<3, making stupid tiktoks that somehow have gotten him a kind of big following habits: swearing obnoxiously without caring, yells in dutch when he’s frustrated which he’s mostly picked up on cuz everyone else in his family does it, stares more than what is socially acceptable tbh, refuses to walk under ladders

favourites.

weather: sunny with some clouds colour: dark green music: likes a lot of 90s and early 2000s rap and rock, old school country like he loves dolly parton LKSDHGKLHSDGLK rly enjoys elvis presley too, some edm or anything that he can jst dance wildly to movies: old school slasher films, screams his fav movie series ever food: spaghetti bt specifically w marj’s Phenom homemade meat sauce<3 drink: grape juice, whiskey sour

relationships.

father: steven fowler is his uncle but currently his legal guardian, he’s a co-owner of fowler’s flowers and is kind of a mess but in like the fun way....... LKSHDGKLHSLDG he just spends a lot of the day in nothing but boxers and socks w their cat on his lap watching the weather report if he’s not working, has the weird energy of someone who would be running like a joke shop instead of being a florist. archibald fowler is leo’s biological dad but he sucks Big Time, giant business typhoon i hvnt . figured out 100% wht sort of business bt hes got Money bt doesnt even rly want anything to do w leo he jst sees him as a massive disappointment bc archie’s nothing but a loser fart of a square. mother: marjorie fowler’s his aunt and other legal guardian also the other co-owner of fowler’s flowers, literally the sweetest woman on the planet like she’s never done anything wrong in her life n u can take tht to the bank. she’s a bit weird n super spiritual, their house constantly smells like random herbs and rly intensely of flowers and plants bc she makes so many home remedies bt she’s an angel a fkin ANGEL!!!!! renata kline’s leo’s mom n she’s like . fine ig she was pretty negligent n her best friend is a bottle of wine....... she rly peaked at a young age when she was a pageant girl n she still coaches n stuff now bt she’s obvs rly sad so leo tries not to lose it on her too much even tho he thinks she’s annoying LKSHDGKLHSLDKGKLSDG siblings: augustus is his oldest brother and he’s pretty cool, probs the brother leo is closest with even tho he considers him boring bt it’s only bc he’s . actually responsible n wht not they had a lot of fun growing up together tho when leo visited new york. mikhael is the devil, he’s actually a bit of a cunt n both him n leo have expressed their hatred fr each other without missing a beat i think they actually dnt hv any love or affection fr the other in the slightest SKLDHGLKSDHG. vaughn n leo r closest in age he’s not tht much younger n he’s probs the shiest of them, pretty soft spoken n well meaning, him n leo dnt rly keep in contact too much anymore bt theres a special place in his heart fr vaughn he’s pretty protective even tho he bullies him a lot bt thts besides the point. willhelm’s the youngest n it kinda shows he’s pretty idgaf attitude n rly blunt bt he’s also funny n probs the biggest partier outside of leo so he gets a pass whenever he rolls his eyes in leo’s face. pets: mitzie’s an 8 year old tortoiseshell cat who lives primarily on ppls laps shes literally more lap dog than cat significant other: n/a family’s financial status: middle class

extra.

zodiac sign: scorpio<3 mbti: estp - the entrepeneur enneagram: the epicure temperament: sanguine hogwarts house: gryffindor moral alignment: chaotic neutral primary vice: pride primary virtue: dilligence element: fire

[creacherkeeper]

For the askmeme: Scorpia x Catra AND Abby x Lev. (I'm so obvious in my choices!!!! lmao)

oh good choices good choices 

scorpia & catra

who steals the french fries off the other’s plate: 

bit of a cheat, but they both do. or, to be more specific, there isn’t really “my plate, your plate” when theyre eating together. they never shared in the horde, but once theyre out and theres lots of good food with no rationing, they definitely share. it took catra a while to learn “if im allowed to steal off your plate you can steal off mine too”, but honestly scorpia was just so enthusiastic about trying everything that catra couldnt really say no to sharing. honestly, its still a little bit of a defense mechanism. it “looks better” if they both get a few things and share them, over both of them loading their plates up with a ton of stuff. for this reason they tend to sit next to each other at meals 

who jokingly moves in for the kiss when someone asks if they’re a couple: 

after a while, when theyve both talked A Lot and are a lot more comfortable in their relationships, catra does. only because it flusters the hell out of scorpia. scorpia is very *blush blush* OH NO SHE IS ACTUALLY JOKING I AM WITH PERFUMA THE LOVE OF MY LIFE and then perfuma is in the background like Oh i dont mind sharing C:< which flusters scorpia more 

who has to bust or bail the other out of jail: 

catra, funnily enough. it’s less “jail” and more “scorpia and perfuma were roleplaying at the bar again and things got a little out of hand”. if scorpia DOES get thrown in jail jail its because she accidentally spoiled a book to mermista and mermista got a bit too mad about it. catra doesnt post bail she just has to talk mermista down 

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues: 

scorpia, definitely. catra has NO IDEA how to have healthy relationships but she honestly is trying her best to learn. perfuma is a big help, especially explaining WHY things are healthy or unhealthy and the mental effect they can have on people, but scorpia is really great about giving practical examples, and shes open enough that she doesnt mind using herself as an example, even when its something she did wrong 

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes: 

CATRA but honestly scorpia thinks its hilarious every time which is the only reason catra does it (she does it to glimmer for the opposite reason. she gets so mad) 

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk: 

it depends. scorpia REALLY LIKES the top bunk but frequently has trouble with them. if the bed is too close to the ceiling, she’ll end up knocking her claws against it. if the ladder is too dainty, its hard for her to climb up. in those cases, catra takes the top bunk. but theyre just as likely to pull the mattresses and pillows and blankets off and sleeping on the floor 

who starts and who wins the pillow fights: 

scorpia. exclusively. catra HATES IT. SHE DOESNT EVEN WANT TO PLAY AND SCORPIA IS SO FUCKING STRONG. A LADY WHO CAN LIFT A TANK SHOULDNT BE HITTING CATRA IN THE HEAD WITH ANYTHING EVEN IF ITS A PILLOW. ONE DAY HER HEAD IS GONNA TUMBLE RIGHT OFF AND THEN WONT SCORPIA FEEL BAD THEN!!! 

who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crush: 

oh definitely catra. she flirts with perfuma literally all the time. about half of the time its on scorpia’s behalf and the other half of the time its while making aggressive eye contact with scorpia (she has perfuma’s word it doesnt bother her) 

---

abby & lev 

(skipping a few of these questions because lev is like 4) 

who steals the french fries off the other’s plate:

abby steals lev’s food, which he DOES NOT UNDERSTAND at first. thats just like. NOT a thing they did and he’s super offended?? if he ever got food taken away it was as a punishment, so abby has to explain that its meant to be a sign of familiarity and teasing. she does offer to stop, but after thinking about it lev decides its okay

who has to bust or bail the other out of jail:

while occasionally lev will “act out” to test boundaries and new rules, he is for the most part extremely polite and well mannered. abby, on the other hand, will absolutely get into fights with people she deems are jerks, so lev does have to ask very nicely for her to be let out of the holding cells (”because im a child and she’s my guardian you cant leave me alone”) like. every month at least 

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues:

abby TRIES to give lev the talk and honestly it scars both of them so much she decides that it would be better if she got one of the medics to do it (she finds one specifically who can talk to the trans side of things as well, because she’s doing her best but it’s not her area of expertise) 

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes:

abby does. this is another talk they have to have about some “rude” actions being friendly, but this one lev decides he does not like. he cant understand why you’d WANT to cheat at games - it makes it unfair so how do you even know who’s the winner??? however, if anyone ELSE tries to cheat lev, abby will cheat them back, and lev decides he does in fact like that 

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk:

actually, abby calls dibs on the bottom bunk. lev has seen lofted beds before, but he doesnt really have a preference where he sleeps. abby, however, says she prefers the bottom. in actuality, she wants to be in the bottom bunk because if there’s a threat, it would be easier to protect lev that way 

who starts and who wins the pillow fights:

lev and yara used to pillow fight when they were young if their mother wasnt home, but he hasnt done it in a long time. he’s hesitant about pillow fighting with abby, just because it was something he did with his sister, but once he decides he’s on board he is brutal. abby mostly goes easy on him because. well. her arms. but lev is like. full on tactical strategy, using his environment to his advantage, launching pillows from vantage points kind of thing about it. even if abby lets herself lose (its ...... not as on purpose as shed like to admit, the kid is fast) she initiates it still because she really loves seeing him have fun  

[luked4nuke]

If, I were President of the United States. (I just wanna state I’m not a democrat or republican)

First I’d enforce Quarantine and extend it. I’d also attend the poorest families or individuals first and provide them with the financial assistance they need. People are struggling hard enough as it is living paycheck to paycheck.

Second I’d shut down the schools as I believe safty more important especially for the future kids who will rule this place. I also don’t like how schools give so much homework and stress. They just condition kids into beleiving working 40 hours a week is normal and that you should be lucky to have weekends. Staying in classes all day then returning home only to be forced to complete more homework that takes up time and robs them of social interactions. These schools don’t even test knowledge. They test obedience and reward them for being quiet little slaves that will slowly become a “regular worker.” They really don’t care about how smart you are, they test memory over all else, when they study a subject and pass the test they move on quickly to the next one stressing them out. If they failed the test, to bad they’re still moving on with you. (Sorry this got way of topic. I just hate how schools operate and also how low they pay the teachers)

Third I would dismantle the police force and create a new one. A better one that focuses on real problems like sex trafficking and drugs. All the horrible crimes that are allowed to fly under the radar. Any excessive use of force would be heavily punished. Fired, fined and jail time. No shooting at peaceful protesters, seriously dafaq is wrong with them unleashing hell upon unarmed civilians and sneaking in rioters to escalate it to justify the force.

Fourth, gold is a finite resource. Pretty much all the money you’ve ever spent is fake, all digital backed by nothing. Personally I hate it but you’ve all becomes achstomed to it so I would attempt to fix the economy so people can afford essential things, like homes and food. Instead of kicking out homeless people Id build shelters. They make it to easy to fall down into poverty and nearly impossible to climb back up. Once you’ve been arrested, once you’ve been homeless, you understand the struggle of trying to reintergrate with society. The easiest path become the dark one. I would attempt to control the population, America is a gigantic habitat and likewise it has a carrying capacity. If you’re gonna argue people have to pay unreasonable amounts of money for food you’re crazy.

Immigrants are definitely allowed as long as they follow the rules and don’t commit crimes. America was litterally founded on immigrants. American stole land from the natives violently and even managed to capture Hawaii, which was its own nation. They taxed us and recognized us as a small power. Iolani Palace has electricity flush toilets and even phones before the White House did. Queen Lili’uokalani signed in duress. It horrible and sheforfeited her whole kingdom in exchange for the people, as a leader should. The people make a country, the government already should put the people first. Without all the hardworking Americans working, there is no country.

We don’t serve the government. As a government worker we serve the people. It’s our duty to ensure everybody is treated fairly. To make sure everybody that we oversee has the essentials for life, a home and food.

And for LGBT rights. I personally don’t care what the heck they do. Love is love, let it be. They can chose to identify as whoever they want and pursue relationships with whoever. You can’t force things onto people. America is supposed to be freedom personified, we can chose to do as we please as long as we don’t bring harm to others. Those camps are wrong. America is also religion free, you can be whatever you want, Christian Muslim, litterally anything. Being a satanist is totally legal as long as you don’t hurt anything. Believe in what you want and don’t force it on others. Gay people are amazing! We all are, were all human and we can change and create change. We are all human at the core and we always have been. We have a right to love, and to be loved by all around us. Love is love, let it be, theres always been love. I can identify as a man or woman, and I can damn well love either as I please as long it’s reciprocated. I’d always rather say I love you too much then not enough.

Climate change is real. The pollution of those stupidly large companies is also VERY real. As an individual you contribute less than a percent of the actual pollution, it’s literally the big corporations. That needs to stop. I’m not exactly sure how but I AM GOING to start a wave of change that will benefit the worlds health. We all live here. This is not political, I don’t have time for games, scientists that have studied their whole lives are begging for us to change. We can all have solar electricity farms and then it’d be FREE. “But you can’t charge people for that you can’t make money.” I’m NOT TRYING TO MAKE MONEY I DO NOT CARE ANOUT MONEY. IM AIMING FOR SOMETHING BIGGER THAN GREED THE BETTERMENT OF HUMANITY. I don’t care about ruining electric companies and other random fossil fuels bullshits that will run out, I want the future to be bright!

Screw it im going off the rails, schools main courses should focus on stuff like self sustainment, like farming and wilderness survival. Creativity because that’s the most human thing about us! Empathy basic Psychology. Kids can get mad they should learn and understand why. Understand why they feel the feelings they feel and giving them all better emotional control. EMPATHY. They need to learn things like taxes since they’re such a big part. Also why the heck are taxes so complicated. It’s just targeting the illiterate foreigners and immigrants who struggle and try to understand it and I believe that’s horrible. Make it easier to become apart of America the land of freedom and the getaway from the crueler areas of earth. Maybe just limit the population. Also seriously fuck off with taxes! Why the hell are you charging and taxing 14 year olds that aren’t allowed to vote, thats taxation without representation.

Taxes should be like Mario kart and Ancient Greece. Quote from some thing I googled

“The philosopher Aristotle developed the theme. His "magnificent man" gave vast sums to the community. But poor men could never be "magnificent" because they did not have the financial means. True wealth consists in doing good, Aristotle argued in the Art of Rhetoric: in handing out money and gifts, and helping others to maintain an existence.

The idea is simple the higher up you are on the financial ladder the more you have to pay taxes and contribute to society. The large taxes from the rich help fund financial aid for the poor and stuff. The rich did not earn that money they climbed to top on top a mountain of millions of shortcuts and underpaid workers It should be an honor to be taxed and help the poor people survive. Like in Mario kart, the higher you’re placed the harder it is to maintain it and the last place people always get the better power ups giving them a constant fighting chance. At most I believe wealth should be hoarded to sustain like one generation of kids, two at the most. Maybe three but theres no reason anybody should have all that money that your never going to spend or all that money that becomes worthless once a war or breaks out or aliens attack or something. Life is more important than money. Something simple everyone should consider.

I think everybody should be able to pursue a career and each career should be sustainable. Enjoyment in a job of your choosing without worrying about financial burden. Jobs would be divided into smaller simple groups and the pay would based on their contribution to society. Like doctors getting paid more and getting teachers paid more, but small retailers wouldn’t get paid as much but they could survive not living paycheck to paycheck. The motivation is everybody should free to pursue the hobby they love without being punished. Maybe little Timmy doesn’t want to be a firefighter, maybe he desires a simple fun life selling flowers. That’s fine! Maybe they don’t wanna become the hero but it’ll be an honor to society. As long as you have a job that contributes to society you can live for free. If everybody is constantly trying to make the most profit, then we all become a bucket of crabs dragging each other down. I can’t sell my $10 good that costed me $2 to make. Also the whole buy back thing irritates me, I spent $60 on this goddamn game and GameStop can only give me like $10 in store credit or $5 in real life? That’s isn’t fair and that applies to pretty much everything. That’s $1000 phone you bought is barley worth $357 right now. I’m pretty sure it didn’t cost that much to make these things but like DAMN. Capitalism sucks.

In summary, I don’t know much about politics but I would be the human party. I don’t care about left or right. I’m the one that doesn’t care about money. I care more about life and creativity. Peoples right to enjoyment and living a happy life with others regardless of gender. Survival of the human race and advancement into the future where more things are free and we can constantly focus on creating an even BETTER one. We can’t go anywhere without each other especially if we’re all just a bucket of crabs. To greedy and self destructive constantly looking out only for themselves. Seriously get your act together humans before you kickstart your own downfall. If we’re all trying to make a profit, nobody does. The best things in life are free. You can pursue wealth for your future or you can focus and live and enjoy and love the now. Mario kart style, where all in this race for life and we all deserve a winning chance.