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#not that roy himself is particularly bourgeoisie or anything but I feel like this whole thing about putting on an act
firewoodfigs
·
3 years
Text
#poetry
#mine
#royai
#it was a rainy day so... 😔✌🏻
#I spent most of the day catching up on sleep but I managed to get out a poem on my phone so yay :^)
#this week was just so exhausting ughghgh I'm not looking forward to the next either bcs it's just gonna get worse :')
#anyway. incoming meta and/or self-projection LOL feel free to ignore!!!
#I always feel like riza would have struggled to fit in with the town and/or the whole political scene
#not that roy himself is particularly bourgeoisie or anything but I feel like this whole thing about putting on an act
#playing charades with old geezers and the role of the villain where necessary
#and just in general dealing with sycophants
#comes much easier to roy
#whereas I feel like riza would probs struggle with it a little more bcs she's probs unaccustomed to it
#what with her upbringing and all
#duplicity might come easier to roy bcs of his mom and sisters' occupations if ykwim?? idk
#but also mild self-projection bcs like I genuinely feel that way sometimes
#when I'm surrounded by all these impeccable lawyers in their immaculate dresses and suits
#I felt this way back in law school too when so many people around me were like
#yea yea I came from a family of lawyers and politicians and big powerful corporate magnates
#meanwhile me: my mom's illiterate. my father is a bankrupt. I have nothing to my name except a pile of growing debt
#LOL
#and like even now after I've sorta come so far
#there's a part of me that always feels inadequate
#that always fears that my provincial unrefined manners will get the better of me or something
#I didn't speak much English at home too growing up
#so most of what I know genuinely comes from books
#and sometimes I worry that I'll butcher the pronunciation of certain words bcs I've seen them before but I haven't actually heard them
#I joined this firm in the hopes that they'll eventually rotate me to New York or London but sometimes I think about it and I'm like.
#no. I'm not good enough. me and my imperfect accent and yellow skin??? nah bro
#anyway sorry that was a v long rant HAHA
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