#anyway. incoming meta and/or self-projection LOL feel free to ignore!!!
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#poetry#mine#royai#it was a rainy day so... đâđ»#I spent most of the day catching up on sleep but I managed to get out a poem on my phone so yay :^)#this week was just so exhausting ughghgh I'm not looking forward to the next either bcs it's just gonna get worse :')#anyway. incoming meta and/or self-projection LOL feel free to ignore!!!#I always feel like riza would have struggled to fit in with the town and/or the whole political scene#not that roy himself is particularly bourgeoisie or anything but I feel like this whole thing about putting on an act#playing charades with old geezers and the role of the villain where necessary#and just in general dealing with sycophants#comes much easier to roy#whereas I feel like riza would probs struggle with it a little more bcs she's probs unaccustomed to it#what with her upbringing and all#duplicity might come easier to roy bcs of his mom and sisters' occupations if ykwim?? idk#but also mild self-projection bcs like I genuinely feel that way sometimes#when I'm surrounded by all these impeccable lawyers in their immaculate dresses and suits#I felt this way back in law school too when so many people around me were like#yea yea I came from a family of lawyers and politicians and big powerful corporate magnates#meanwhile me: my mom's illiterate. my father is a bankrupt. I have nothing to my name except a pile of growing debt#LOL#and like even now after I've sorta come so far#there's a part of me that always feels inadequate#that always fears that my provincial unrefined manners will get the better of me or something#I didn't speak much English at home too growing up#so most of what I know genuinely comes from books#and sometimes I worry that I'll butcher the pronunciation of certain words bcs I've seen them before but I haven't actually heard them#I joined this firm in the hopes that they'll eventually rotate me to New York or London but sometimes I think about it and I'm like.#no. I'm not good enough. me and my imperfect accent and yellow skin??? nah bro#anyway sorry that was a v long rant HAHA
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