#not that it isn’t fair because she’s fucked up plenty

[anmaries]

I just know destiny was so exhausted with mystique and rogue in the house. CONSTANTLY at her limit with these stubborn dickheads always running their mouths ……

[justsomestuffreally]

I think the Batkids reaction to a Bruce who isn't de-aged to 8 but rather 29 (pre-Jason death, post his adoption) would be fascinating. 

Their reaction would vary wildly:

Dick: Oh. Bruce is soft again. Bruce calls them ‘chum’ and ‘buddy’ and gives head pats for no reason. He still isn’t perfect, his communication skills are still a work in progress, but compared to his future self? Without actively dying Dick is hugged plenty. Bruce asks him to go to the zoo, unrelated to any case, just to spend time together. Dick is hit with more nostalgia and longing for the past than he knows what to do with.

Also notable: his dad is younger than him. That is something. Second, holy existential crisis Batman, his dad is younger than him and already one adult and one teenage kid??? Dick is not ready to feel this old yet. Third, Dick has absolutely no idea how Bruce managed to stay patient through his no-pants years. He is going to thank reason every day from now on that Damian wears full protection.

Jason: After his death and League he clung to an image of Bruce. One many tried to beat out of him, but he still kept it somewhere close to his heart, buried deep enough even he couldn’t see it. When he came back Bruce wasn’t like this idea of him. How stupid of him to believe the mind of a traumatized kid. Trying to create one good thing before the kid drew his last breath. Making up memories that never even existed.

But they did. Every smile and hug and even his words reflect the image tugged safely against his still-beating heart. His dad very clearly, very deeply loves him. Which is so much worse. Because he can understand why a Bruce, who never cared, didn’t kill the Joker. But he cares. So why the fuck did he not kill the Joker?

Tim: The reason he joined the family, the reason why he became Robin in the first place was because he saw a problem when Bruce started self-destructing and thought ‘Someone needs to fix that!’. Therefore he went and collected Dick, who didn’t seem keen on fixing it. So, the job fell to him to fix it.

He thought he did a good job, he thought he fixed the problem. Except now he sees who Bruce was, and he knows he failed. Their Bruce is less soft, less affectionate, less like he was before. Batman needs a Robin and Tim didn’t manage to be good enough of one to save him. 

[Or: Tim has a guilt complex a hundred miles wide and blames himself for things that aren’t his fault part 52]

Steph: Jason and she are very similar. Both come from the Narrows, both have a mother addicted to drugs and a shitty father. The differences start when Steph keeps waiting on the roof of their apartment for Batman to whisk her away, while Jason tries to steal the tires of the Batmobile and is taken in.

When Steph started out as Spoiler Bruce tried to keep her off the field, and obviously this one would too (even if he would probably be less paranoid about it), but she knows this Bruce would have also taken her in. This Bruce would be the father she always wished for when she sat on their roof and couldn’t see any stars. 

And she didn’t get to have this because Jason went ahead and died. (Of course, she knows she isn’t fair to the guy. Dying isn’t fun… And she knows the only reason she lived is because he died. When Batman rescued her from Black Mask she was in such terrible shape that Leslie managed to convince the World’s Greatest Detective that she died. If Jason hadn’t died Bruce wouldn’t have been as paranoid, wouldn’t have noticed her missing so soon, wouldn’t have been as urgent in his response. Would have been just a minute slower, a minute which would have killed her. Just as it had Jason.)

For her, this Bruce is a distorted mirror into a past which never was. 

Cass: This Bruce and B are not the same person. They don’t move the same. In a fight, this Bruce is younger, faster, stronger. Doesn’t compensate for a previously broken spine. Less experienced. Still one of the most experienced she knows, but less. 

He still moves differently, outside a fight, less pain. More likely to engage in physical affection, more likely to hug and pat and talk. He talks more than B. B knows what she means without words. This Bruce doesn’t.

She likes this Bruce, warmth, and softness. But not as much as B. He knows what she means, when she wants a hug, when she tells him ‘I love you’ without words. B doesn’t need words. This Bruce doesn’t know her, doesn’t communicate like her. She wants B back.

Damian: At first, when this version of his father seemed uncanny and oddly familiar, he assumed it to be due to the stories of his mother. After all, she always told him tales about his father. He simply did not have the frame of reference to understand the kindness she spoke of. Clearly, the clash between the ideals of the League and the ones of his father causes these feelings, just as they did when he first entered the manor.

He presumed this to be the case until one day on patrol Batman laid a hand on his shoulder and told him he did a good job after no particularly impressive fight and he nearly called him ‘Grayson’. Because the stories of his mother may have painted the picture of this version of his father, however, it wasn’t what made it familiar; no, he knew this kindness. These hugs and compliments one would bestow upon a child. Compliments which, despite the indignity, still warm him. Because Grayson learned how to be a… caregiver from his father.

His father used to be like Grayson, used to be until his grief hardened him. Damian could have had this. Damian could have a brother and father who would- But he doesn’t because of Todd. He loathes Todd. Loathes him for ruining the life he could have had.

Why did he die anyway? Damian certainly wouldn’t have a problem escaping bonds created by the Joker, Damian would have disarmed the bomb in time, Damian would have never thrown this life away like he did.

[Or: Damian is a child who was raised by assassins and has unreasonable standards for fighting abilities and also is a child who needs to focus his rage on someone.]

Duke: He was neither there before Jason died nor in the aftermath [according to my math he was around 4 when Jason died] he joined the family when Jason was already back for 4 years or so. He mostly skipped all the drama. For him, Bruce is the way Bruce is because he is Bruce. It’s weird to see him so different, to see how grief shaped parts of Bruce which Duke assumed were just Bruce things.

He’s glad this Bruce is brighter, or not because it just highlights how much that light will dim? Who knows, certainly not him. 

What he does know is that, with their Bruce, he has a distance which, with his parents still alive, he appreciates. With this Bruce, he can understand why Dick struggled so much whether he wants to be his ward or son, how he doesn’t want to replace his parents but still have this Bruce as a dad. It definitely explained the ted talk Dick tried to give him after Bruce officially took him in as a ward.

He likes this Bruce well enough, but he doesn’t necessarily want him to stay this way. Yes, their Bruce is less happy, less open but he did heal, he did grow. Duke met a Bruce who tried to learn from his mistakes, learned to communicate better, and learned when to pull and when to push. For Tim, Damian, Dick, and certainly Jason there is too much baggage, too much history in their relationships, it’s difficult for them to ever move past- anything really.

Sure, when Dick and Bruce are on the same page they are essentially invincible but then the past catches up again and they don’t talk to each other for months. And honestly? Apart from Cass, Duke’s pretty sure he has one of the best relationships with Bruce simply because he got to know him at a better time.

Duke doesn’t mind this Bruce. But their Bruce loved Jason, cared for him so deeply the scars still show to this day. And he still chooses to open up again even if just a bit by bit. Even if just Duke can see it. He is used to being the only one that can see.

And maybe knowing this care extends to him, this love even grief can’t shake? Maybe it makes him feel just a little bit safer, a little bit warmer, a little bit brighter.

[ababanerb]

lemongrass and sleep - izuku midoriya

she by dodie

warnings: cheating(sorta? not really), dubcon(only slight, both parties are willing, it’s just never explicitly stated), unprotected sex, smut, there’s no happy ending here, unedited

fair warning, this is my first time seriously writing smut (let alone publishing it) so... be nice

word count: 2,843

for y/n,

i love you. i’m sorry.

from izuku midoriya

Izuku wants you, he wants you so badly he’s not sure that he’s ever wanted anything else. But Ochako clings tightly to his bicep, and her fingers always dig a little harder into his skin every time you walk past them in the halls, but he never feels it because he wants you.

But then you’re gone, a small smile and an even smaller wave offered to the two of them as you disappear down the hall. Towards whatever after school club you’d decided to join that year. And Izuku is starstruck while Ochako stares at her shoes, wondering what made you so much better than her.

You don’t have a single clue that it’s your fault that Izuku and Ochako break up.

It’s not their fault, Izuku had told Ochako during the fight that led to the end of their relationship, I want them, Ochako. I need them like I need air.

But he wants you. Not her. And Izuku’s right, you can’t really help that. 

But, why? Ochako had begged him for an answer, Why is she better than me?

Izuku lies and tells her he doesn’t know. But he knows. He could write a whole book on why. He doesn’t tell her about the day the two of you met in the middle of your last year of junior high. 

The first time Izuku had met you had been by pure luck. You were new, and he’d been your tour guide. Your designated buddy for your first week, or until you’d made actual friends. Whichever came first.

But he liked you from the start. You - like all the rest of your classmates - were still growing into your body, and you were a little awkward and clumsy. But to Izuku, you had been nothing short of perfect.

You shook his hand when you met him, and your hands had been so soft, but he couldn’t really be surprised. And better yet, you laughed at all of his jokes, even the bad ones.

But when you sat next to him at lunch-

If he’d been falling in love with you before, he’d just plummeted.

You smelled like lemongrass and sleep, and that was when Izuku decided that he wanted to be in your hemisphere. And for the rest of middle school and the first two months of high school he was. But you belonged to a different program, and you spent all your free time in extracurriculars. 

And Izuku had been upset at first, upset that high school had spun him out of your orbit, even though you’d asked him to hangout on more than one occasion. You were too good for him, Izuku had decided, and high school life had proven it. 

Then Izuku fucked it all up when he started dating Ochako Uraraka during the summer after your first year in high school.

                                                        x  x  x

You want Izuku. You have since you met him. You’d wanted him even when he’d been gangly and awkward. Because to you, he’d never been awkward, it had always happened so naturally with him. 

The last time you’d spoken to Izuku was almost a year ago. At a party. Ochako had been clinging to his arm even then, and you’d resigned to being out of Izuku’s orbit of interest.

You couldn’t be more wrong, but Izuku wouldn’t have ever been the one to tell you. Not when you’d had plenty of guys who were better than Izuku in every way wanting to date you.

But you wanted Izuku.

And he’d made it clear that he wanted you too, that night.

The kitchen at any party is always the hub or the quiet getaway. There’s never an in-between. This time though, the kitchen is the quietest you’ve ever seen. There’s music thumping in the living room and peals of laughter too. But you don’t care, because Izuku is standing right in front of you.

And for the first time in months, Ochako isn’t clinging to him like a life preserver.

“y/n,” Izuku breathes and his pupils are blown wide at the sight of you, you think it’s because the punch might be spiked, but he really does like you, “Hi.”

“Izuku,” You manage to breathe out and your pupils are blown just as wide as his, and Izuku thinks that the punch might be spiked, but you just really like him, “Hey.”

And you both manage a smile, because everything about this hurts and neither of you knows it.

“I like your shirt,” He says, pointing at the band tee you’d decided to wear, wondering if you remember that he was the one who introduced you to them.

“I wouldn’t have ever bought it if it weren’t for you.”

The words leave your mouth before you can even think about it, but you don’t regret it. Because the two of you fall into each other so easily, and neither of you notice when you start edging a little too close to ‘more than friends.’ 

You notice, finally, when you look into his eyes. Wide emerald green staring into you and the words fall from your lips before the thought even registered in your mind.

“Izuku,” You whisper, breath fanning across his face as he tries to hide the shiver that runs up his spine. Your hands are fisting the hem of his shirt, and Izuku wants to stare at you forever, “I like you.”

That’s all it takes for him to kiss you. It’s feverish, and you both treat like this is the first and last time the two of you get to be together like this.

His hands are big and warm, and they’re grasping at the swell of your ass and at the junction of your ribcage and your breast and every other bit of you he can get his hands on without pulling his lips away from yours. And he growls at the little whimpers that resonate from somewhere in your chest that you don’t even think about making.

It’s a mistake, it’s a huge mistake. You know you shouldn’t be doing this, that anybody could walk in and catch you making out with somebody else’s boyfriend.

And you pull away so fast it makes your head spin. Izuku watches your lip quiver and his heart hurts at the way tears have begun to gather on your bottom lashes as you quickly apologize and disappear through the kitchen’s entryway.

“Sorry,” he watches your kiss swollen lips makes the words, sees the first tear fall from your lashes and onto your cheek, but he doesn’t hear a single thing. Dread filling every inch of him as he watches you go.

He doesn’t like the way Ochako kisses him when she returns to his side, hair mussed and lips swollen with her makeup smudged messily across her face. He doesn’t tell her about you, even as she begins to tell him about how funny it was to see you crying as you’d left the party.

                                                         x   x   x

But time moves on, and you’re a really really good pretender. So good, in fact, that if it hadn’t happened, Izuku would think that he dreamt of you kissing him at that party nearly a year ago. 

“Izu,” Ochako whines into his ear, her hand snaking down his torso knocking him from his daze of watching you dancing energetically with Kirishima and Kaminari. You look gorgeous in your graduation dress, and looking at you too long, with your skirt riding up just enough to catch a glimpse of your toned thighs send blood rushing straight to his crotch.

“Izu,” Ochako whines at him again, and he can smell alcohol on her breath, which isn’t surprising, considering how Mina spiked the punch. “Let’s go celebrate in your dorm?”

Oh, she wants to fuck, Izuku realizes, like it’s not something that she’d been getting from other guys when he’d said he wanted to wait until after he’d graduated.

The longer that Izuku stares at you, ultimately ignoring Ochako, the more he wants you, and maybe it’s the spiked punch starting to hit him, but he doesn’t even think about the words that tumble from his mouth.

“I think we should break-up.”

Ochako scoffs, and she pulls away from him just long enough for Izuku to get up from his chair and over to you. And he doesn’t care that Ochako is calling for him, or that you might have moved on. Because you look so pretty when you smile at him like that, mouth open with a laugh.

“Hey,” Izuku greets, and it sounds like he’s just been punched.

“Hey to you too,” You smile back at him, and he’s hit with the overwhelming smell of you.

Lemongrass and sleep.

Izuku doesn’t want to smell anything else ever again, he decides right then and there. It’s further affirmed when you step back into his orbit, and the smell of you is overwhelming. 

“You look good,” Izuku manages after a moment, sounding a little less like he’s been punched, “Like, really good.”

You smile softly at him, stepping even closer to him, and grab at the open flaps of his graduation robe. The look in your eyes reminds him of the same look you’d given him at that stupid party that now feels like an eternity ago.

He wants to kiss you like he had then, but this time he wouldn’t be letting you walk off alone and with tears in your eyes. He wants to take you back to his near empty dorm room and fuck you until you see stars, and he wants to tell you that he might as well be in love with you, that he has been ever since he met you in junior high.

I want you all the time, always, Izuku thinks, already feeling breathless and he hasn’t even kissed you yet.

“Is that all you have to say?” You ask with a sultry undertone, and Izuku swears that all the blood in his brain has just rushed to his cock, “Because it looks like you’ve got more on your mind.”

Izuku nods so fast his head spins, “Can we talk? In- In my dorm?”

You nod once, slowly, and Izuku briefly wonders if you still like him.

                                                      x    x    x

Izuku barely has the time to breathe out, “I think I’m in love with you,” before you’re lips are on his. The taste of you is overwhelming on Izuku’s tongue, and he’s reminded of that brief moment last year when he’d kissed you. You taste like your lip balm, something herbal and earthy, just a little sweet and he’s addicted all over again.

He’s less hurried this time, even as you pull at the deep green curls at the base of his neck, he wants to savor you this time, make sure he isn’t dreaming this. He walks you to his bed, lips never leaving yours, and his hands crawl under your dress to grab at your ass as he lays you back.

“Love you,” He gasps against your neck, nipping at the sensitive skin there and groaning when you roll your hips up into him, “Don’t know why I never told you.”

Coward, you want to tell him, but he pulls a soft moan from you instead when he sucks a hickey onto your collarbone.

“Fuck me,” You gasp, tugging at his graduation robes, the warm heat pooling in your belly and the wetness in your panties becoming too much for you to handle. “Please.”

Izuku needs no further prompting, and he’s shucking his clothes off of him as fast as he can. He watches you shimmy out of your dress just as he’s undoing his belt buckle, and he can’t stop himself from taking one of your nipples into his mouth when he realizes you didn’t have a bra on. 

The sound that leaves you is entirely out of your control, a breathy noise halfway between a whimper and a moan. And you’re rolling your hips up into him more feverishly now as your hands come to tug on the thick curls of green on your chest.

Izuku is still only halfway out of his jeans when he moves his focus to your other nipple, his hands pulling your panties down your legs and a finger running through your wetness.

“So fucking pretty,” He growls at you, his pupils blown wide when he briefly detaches from your nipple to watch your face as he dips a finger into your aching cunt. You keen at the feeling, back arching off his bed, and he damn near blows his load right there. “Feel good?”

He’s stupid for asking, because you’re bucking your hips into his hand trying to get more stimulation. You nod anyway, voice failing you when he drops his mouth to suck at your clit.

“So good,” You moan, tears of pleasure in your eyes when he slides in a second finger and starts to pump his thick fingers in and out of you, “So- so fuckin’ good!”

He smiles into your sopping cunt, rolling his own hips into the mattress at the sound of you squelching around his fingers. HIs tongue laves over your clit again, sucking the sensitive bundle of nerves into his mouth even as you squeal in pleasure. He can feel you getting tighter around his fingers, and he doesn’t need to ask to know that you’re about to cum.

“That’s it, baby,” Izuku groans, watching as you squirm and writhe on the bed above him, gasps and moans leaving your mouth without thought, “Cum for me. Cum on my finger and in my mouth.”

He doesn’t have to tell you twice, your whole body tensing with an orgasm that rips through you so fast and so hard it has your vision blacking out. He pulls his fingers out and before you can whine at the loss he’s already replaced them with his tongue, eating you out through your first orgasm of the night and right into your second.

Izuku pulls his pants and boxers off as you’re coming down from the high of second orgasm. The tip of his cock red and angry with arousal, and he swears his soul leaves his body when you wrap your fingers around the thick length of him to guide him back to your pussy.

“Fuck me,” You tell him again, face and chest still flushed with the heat of your last orgasm, “Please.”

Izuku is eager to please, sinking into your tight wet heat inch by aching inch. He has to drop his head to your shoulders and his hands have a death grip on your hips by the time he’s fully seated in you.

“So tight,” He hisses, biting at your neck again when your nails dig into his back and you roll your hips, urging him to move, “Feels so good.”

The two of you moan in sync when he finally begins to move. And a piece of Izuku whispers to him that he could have had you this whole time. That he might be able to have you from now on.

You bring Izuku’s lips crashing into yours and he sets a brutal pace, fucking into you with the same desperation he’d felt last year. Like this is it for the two of you. You return the sentiment, feverishly rolling your hips to meet his thrusts, kissing him so hard you know you’ll both be bruised tomorrow.

Your orgasm hits you suddenly, squeezing Izuku so tight he falls over the edge with you. You can feel him pumping you full of his cum, and the feeling alone has you cumming around him all over again.

As Izuku comes down from his high, rolling off of you and pulling you into him, and the exhaustion hits him like a pile of bricks he’s hit again by the smell of you.

“I’m so in love with you,” Izuku breathes, inhaling your scent like he won’t ever smell it again. “I’ve loved you since I met you.”

You hum against him, “I know what you mean.”

Izuku is too tired to realize you never returned the sentiment, and he falls asleep with a contented hum against your shoulder.

                                                      x    x    x 

Izuku wakes up the next morning to a cold and empty bed, and he can still smell you. Lemongrass and sleep, he’s never met anybody else who smells like you.

Just like that, you’re out of his orbit again, Izuku realizes slowly. There’s no trace of you in his dorm room, no note, nothing. Just the lingering smell of you.

Izuku can feel his eyes stinging with tears and he wonders if he’s allowed to cry over a girl he never actually put in the effort with.

His phone dings with a text.

You: Sorry

He wonders if you’d snuck away with tears in your eyes again, and his own eyes blur with tears as the smell of you overwhelms again. The smell hurts him now, burning his nostrils with smell of lemongrass and sleep.

[corroded-hellfire]

Hello 👋🏻 for pre Eliza #ayw requests

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=e0Y8tmRYYiA

I saw this video and it gave me an idea for As You Wish……Eddie and Reader take younger Ryan and Luke to a real life Hot Wheels show. I think this would blow Luke’s mind and Ryan’s brain would be trying to work out how it works. 🙂

Luke would LOVE THIS. It makes me so happy that you saw this and thought of him! I was trying to think of something for Luke’s birthday and this is just absolutely perfect for it. Thank you so much for sending it in!

Words: 5.6k

[As You Wish masterlist]

When Eddie first came across the advertisement for the Real-Life Hot Wheels Show in Indianapolis, he immediately knew that he wanted to take his youngest son to it. Both sons, of course, but the youngest is crazier about the small toy cars by far. 

When Eddie saw that this show happened to be two days before Luke’s birthday, it felt like fate. The little boy’s fifth birthday was on Monday, and Saturday just happened to be the day of the big event in the big city about an hour away. Eddie immediately snatched up the phone and dialed the number printed in large, bold orange letters on the bottom of the flyer to purchase four tickets. 

In March, when the tickets had been purchased, Brittany had said there would be no problem with her coming along with her three boys to celebrate the special day. But as the week of Luke’s birthday in May approaches, suddenly, her tone has changed.

“What do you want me to say, Eddie?” Brittany gripes. “I have to work.”

“You had plenty of time to get the day off!”

“Maybe you should’ve reminded me a little sooner,” she snaps back.

“Wouldn’t think I’d have to fucking remind you when your son’s birthday is.”

Now Eddie has an extra ticket that he isn’t sure what to do with. Wayne wouldn’t be able to sit on the metal bleachers because of his back. Steve wouldn’t want to go while his sons are left behind at home. And it wouldn’t be fair to bring just one of the Harrington sons and not the other. Plus, there is no way that Eddie would be able to handle both of his boys plus a Harrington kid all on his own. 

There’s someone Eddie wants to invite to be the fourth person, but he’s not sure if it would be appropriate or not to bring it up. Thankfully, Ryan adores you almost as much as his father does, and practically asks the question for him. 

“Daddy!” Ryan stage whispers the moment Eddie walks through the door after work the Monday before Luke’s birthday. 

The older man raises an eyebrow at his son as he tosses his keys down on the small table he passes on his way into the living room. He kicks his black chunky boots off and scratches at his scruff with dirt-stained fingertips.

“What’s up, kiddo?” Eddie asks. 

Ryan looks around to make sure Luke is still in the bathroom. 

“I had an idea for Luke’s birthday!”

Before Eddie gets the chance to inquire further, you stroll in from the kitchen and Eddie finds himself smiling like a teenager with a secret crush. The cuffs of your denim shorts that brush the middle of your thighs are so tempting to stare at, but Eddie forces himself to keep his eyes on your face—though that’s no hard feat with how gorgeous he finds you. 

“Hey, Eddie,” you greet, and your boss feels as if he could melt on the spot just by the sound of your voice. “How was work?”

“You know,” he says with a shrug, trying to shake off any trace of fluster, “same old, same old. How were the rugrats?”

“Little Tasmanian devils,” you tease. 

“Afraid that comes with the last name ‘Munson,’” Eddie says with a dramatic sigh. His words make you giggle and a fluttering in his stomach threatens to take Eddie airborne. 

“Daddy!” Ryan rasps again, this time a little more urgently. He marches over to his father who picks him up and holds him against his toned jumpsuit-clad chest.

“What?”

“I think I know who should come with us on Saturday,” Ryan says, a smile that’s a blend of mischievous and prideful lighting up his face.

“Oh yeah? Who’s that?” Eddie asks.

Instead of responding verbally, Ryan turns his head until he’s grinning in your direction. The conversation between the two Munsons clearly confuses you as Eddie watches you tilt your head and raise your eyebrows in question.

“What’s Saturday?”

Eddie opens his mouth to respond, but a loud pitter-patter coming down the hallway has the man clamping shut to avoid spoiling the surprise. 

“Daddy!” Luke cheers as he runs into the room.

“There’s the troublemaker,” Eddie says as Ryan wiggles down from his arms. Luke’s quick to be his older brother’s replacement, diving in towards Eddie, trusting that his father will catch him. He does, of course, and hefts the small boy up. “What’s new, Scooby Doo?”

“Nothin’,” Luke says with a shrug. “Oh, wait. I ate an ant off the sidewalk during playground time.”

Eddie stares at his youngest son, blinking a few times before asking, “What color?”

“Black.”

“Okay, you’re fine,” Eddie says, putting the boy down. 

“That’s gross,” Ryan says as his little brother walks up to him.

Eddie shakes his head, in amusement or bemusement you’re not sure, and subtly gestures for you to follow him into the kitchen. It’s hard not to trip over your own feet as you move behind your boss. You’d follow him to Jupiter and back if he asked. 

“So, uh,” Eddie starts softly once the two of you are alone in the kitchen, “Saturday we’re going to Indianapolis for a real-life Hot Wheels show.”

The way your eyes light up with excitement has Eddie’s heart thumping against his ribs.

“Oh, he’s going to love that!” you gush. 

His responding dopey grin momentarily stalls Eddie’s train of thought before he remembers Ryan’s suggestion.

“Yeah, I couldn’t believe my luck when I found the ad for it. But, uh, turns out Brittany can’t get out of work for it.”

You hope you’re able to keep some of the fury blazing in your eyes hidden from your boss. Sometimes it’s a challenge to hold your tongue about Brittany around Eddie—that’s why your poor roommate gets an earful of it almost every day when you come home. 

“Ryan, he just, um, had a great idea,” Eddie continues. His tongue darts out and licks over his lips. “Would you be interested in coming with the three of us on Saturday? I know it’s last minute, so there’s no worry if you can’t. Or if it’s not your thing, I get that too.”

“Eddie,” you say with a soft chuckle. 

The sound vibrates through his body, liquefying his heart on the spot. 

“I would love to go with you guys and celebrate Luke’s birthday.”

Technically, you do have plans for a lunch date with your friend Lily that you’ll have to cancel, but there’s no way you can pass up this opportunity to spend extra time with the Munson men—especially Eddie. 

A sigh of release emanates from Eddie’s chest, and he gives you a grin that makes your knees weak.

“Great. It’s a surprise for Luke, so he doesn’t know anything is going on this weekend. I’m not even going to tell him even when we’re in the car on the way to Indianapolis; I’m too excited for the look on his face when he sees the real-life tracks and cars.”

“He’s going to lose his tiny mind,” you say.

“He is,” Eddie agrees with a hearty laugh. 

“Do you want me to come by on Saturday or do you want to pick me up on the way?” you ask.

Originally, Eddie had just figured that you would come to the house, but the thought of having your address is too tempting for him to give up. Not that he’ll ever do anything with the information, but just to get a peek behind the curtain into your life, a glimpse at where you start and end your days. 

“We can pick you up,” Eddie says, trying his best to be casual. “That’ll be another fun little pit stop for Luke.”

“Perfect. Here, let me give you my address.”

“This is where you live!” Luke exclaims as soon as you slip into the passenger seat of Eddie’s car. 

“It is!” You turn to look at the boys over your shoulder and give them a smile. 

“Do you live on the tippy top?” Luke asks, pointing out the car window to the highest level of your building. 

“Nope, just the second floor,” you tell him as you buckle your seatbelt. 

“Not as fun,” Ryan laments.

“Will someone please tell me where we’re going?” Luke whines five minutes after Eddie has pulled out of your apartment complex parking lot. 

“Hey, what did I say?” Eddie raises his eyebrows and looks at his youngest son through the rearview mirror.

Luke’s bright blue eyes turn skyward, and he lets out a huff that makes it sound like he’s deflating. 

“It’s a surprise.” Luke’s voice is the most monotone you’ve ever heard it.

“Exactly. And no one is going to spoil the surprise,” Eddie says as he pulls onto the highway. “So quit asking.”

He doesn’t, of course. He asks four more times over the course of the journey. 

The drive to Indianapolis takes a little over an hour, but it passes by in a flash with the constant entertainment of the Munson trio you’re traveling with. Luke’s insatiable curiosity about anything and everything only takes breaks to give out tidbits of information that he already knows. Many times, Ryan tries to get his little brother to shut up so that he can talk to you as well. And Eddie is the King of Wit as he makes you laugh with comebacks to the boys, and jokes that make your cheeks hurt from smiling so much. It’s almost a disappointment when you have to get out of the car with them. At least you know you’ll have the ride home to experience this Munson brand of insanity once more. 

The moment Eddie puts the car into park, you keep your gaze on Luke. He’s straining in his seat to look out the window, anxious for any clue as to where he is. He’s the first one to unhook his seatbelt and hops out of the car, immediately squinting in the bright sunlight.

“It’s hot,” Ryan says as he steps out of the car. 

“Jesus, you’re right,” Eddie agrees. The man reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a black hair tie. You can’t help but be mesmerized as you watch him bunch his beautiful curls up and tie them into a bun on the back of his head. Small strands of hair frame his face and you feel all the blood in your body drop to between your legs. 

At least if I pass out I can blame it on the heat instead of how unfairly fucking good my boss looks, you think to yourself. 

“What is this place?” Luke asks. He has one small hand shielding his eyes from the sun as he swivels on the spot, looking for any clues to solve this puzzle.

“Come on,” Eddie says, nodding his head towards the stadium at the other end of the parking lot. He offers his hand to his youngest son who happily takes it, eager to get whatever show this is on the road.

Ryan slips his hand into yours, which makes your insides feel as warm as your outside as the two of you trail behind Eddie and Luke. 

The closer you get to the entrance, the more you notice people wearing shirts with the Hot Wheels logo on them, but you’re hoping Luke either doesn’t notice or just thinks it’s a coincidence. The four-year-old still seems to be buzzing with anticipation when Eddie hands four tickets to the attendant who lets you through the entry way into the stadium. 

A cool, shaded tunnel is all that separates you from the main event and you’re pretty sure your excitement is greater than the kids’. Eddie looks over his shoulder at you and gives you a wink. You know it’s meant as a signal to watch for Luke’s reaction, but it sends goosebumps all over your body and you stumble over nothing as Eddie turns back around.

“Are you okay?” Ryan asks, his hand securely in yours so that you wouldn’t fall. 

“I’m good,” you say, shakiness evident in your voice. 

Quickly, you make sure to turn your attention to Luke. Just as he’s about to step back into the sunlight with his father, you take a deep breath and hold it.

Eddie brings Luke out into the stadium proper, you and Ryan right behind them. It takes Luke a few minutes to absorb what he sees. 

In the middle of the stadium are twin life-size Hot Wheels loops, orange as bright as flames. At the beginning of each track, sit two empty racecars, both designed to look like the pocket-sized toys the youngest Munson brother collects. The one on the left looks like cans of paint were thrown on the car. Splotches of neon green, white, and a little bit of black cover the car from nose to fin. The car on the next track looks painted with more intention than its counterpart. This one has a base coat of canary yellow with dark red and blue flames emblazoned on the hood, roof, and trunk. Both cars have the signature Hot Wheels logo on the sides, in the dramatic red flourish. 

Once Luke’s brain catches up with what he sees in front of him, his eyes grow exponentially wider. Matching grins appear on both your and Eddie’s faces as you watch it all sink in for the little boy. 

“Whoa,” Luke says, eyes darting everywhere. 

“You like it?” Eddie asks, shaking his son’s hand gently.

Luke gazes around for another few seconds before looking back at his dad.

“I love it!”

Luke pulls his hand from his dad’s and jumps up and down on the spot, his little hands curling into fists that he holds against his chest. A high-pitched whine of excitement squeaks out and you can’t help but chuckle. His glee is palpable and seeing him so happy is infectious. 

“It’s Hot Wheels!” Luke turns to his brother and repeats himself. “Ryan, it’s Hot Wheels!”

“I know!” Ryan says, an elated grin on his own face. “Isn’t it so cool?”

“Yes!” Luke squeaks.

“Come on,” Eddie says, his large hand gently patting Luke’s back. “Let’s go find our seats.”

One downfall of it being such a hot day in Indiana is that the aluminum bleachers that you’re allocated to are toasty even through the material of your shorts. 

“Does anyone want some water?” you ask once you’re all settled.

“Me,” both boys say.

“I’ll come with you,” Ryan says. 

You gladly accept his offer and take his hand as the two of you venture off to find water.

On the bleachers, Luke squirms in his seat next to Eddie, so excited he can hardly stand it. The little boy tugs on the sleeve of his dad’s t-shirt and Eddie looks over at him.

“I’m so happy!”

Eddie chuckles, his heart growing three sizes at seeing his son this way. Luke’s generally a happy kid, but this euphoria is a whole different level for him, and Eddie realizes he would’ve driven to Alaska for this if it meant putting that smile on his son’s face.

“I can tell,” Eddie says. “I’m glad you’re happy. I’m glad I found something fun for your birthday.”

“And I’m so happy I’m here with you guys!” Luke continues.

Eddie for the first time realizes neither of his sons questioned why their mother wasn’t coming with them today. No wondering why she didn’t get in the car, why she wasn’t here with the rest of the family. And neither of the boys seem to mind one bit. In fact, Luke just said he’s happy to be here with the three of you. Not his mom, but you here with them. Honestly, Eddie couldn’t agree more. He’s not about to spend his son’s birthday celebration psychoanalyzing what that means, though.

“We’re all so happy to be here with you,” Eddie says. He leans forward and presses a kiss to Luke’s curls. They’re slightly sweaty but neither of them cares. 

A loudspeaker crackles to life and an announcer with a booming, lively voice asks the crowd if they’re ready to have a good time today. 

“Our drivers today are Buzzy Graham and Oliver Ronald!”

The first man—Buzzy—gives the crowd a wave and jogs over to the splotchy looking car. He straps a neon green helmet on and climbs into the life-sized toy vehicle through the driver’s side window. The second driver, Oliver, also gives a wave and a smile as he makes his way over to the car painted with flames. An indigo helmet gets strapped to his head, and he slips inside of his car as well. 

The moment the show starts, and Luke hears the first revving of an engine, he’s on his feet. His hands are clenched in excitement again as he waits with bated breath for the cars to get into gear. The kid has put his cars through tracks just like these a hundred times before, now he’s ready to see the real thing in action. 

The buzz of the crowd dims as the hundreds of people in attendance wait for the show to begin. Finally, the purr of an engine sounds above all other noise and Luke clasps his hands together with an excited gasp. Ryan is also full of anticipation, sitting at the very edge of his seat and watching with eyes almost as wide as his little brother’s. 

Over the speaker, a countdown begins.

“3…2…1!”

Both cars go full throttle across the checkered starting line. Luke intakes a sharp breath and Eddie can’t help but notice it doesn’t come out right away as he watches the two cars speed along down the orange track. 

The cars approach the first loop and every muscle in Luke’s tiny body is frozen as he watches in anticipation. Ryan also has his eyes glued to the cars, but his is more of a fascination of how the cars don’t fall while they’re upside down in the loop. 

“How did they…” you just barely hear Ryan say to himself over the roar of the audience. 

Now that the cars are out of the loop, they’re coming up on the jump over a shallow ravine, to the other side of the continuing neon track, where the finish line is. 

The Splotch and The Flames both start their small incline to prepare them for the jump, and Luke’s hands go up to grab the curls on top of his head. This is possibly the most stress the kid has ever endured in his life. At least it’s the good kind, Eddie can tell. 

“Here we go,” Eddie says just as the cars are about to be airborne.

And suddenly, there’s nothing beneath the spinning black wheels but dust and air as they soar over the pass between the two disconnected parts of the track. Luke swears it all moves in slow motion. 

The rubber tires of the splotchy car touch down on the other side of the ravine first, bumping and jostling the car forward as the flames one lands a split second after it. 

The end of the track is only yards away, so the splotchy car has the upper hand and is the first one to cross over the black and white finish line.

“WOO!” Luke cheers. His hands come free from his mess of curls and he throws his arms up in the air. “Yes!”

“Wow!” Ryan stands up and claps his hands, cheering alongside his little brother. 

“Daddy, did you see that?!” Luke asks, turning his wide-eyed gaze on his father. “That was the coolest thing ever!”

The genuine excitement and happiness wafting off of, not only Luke, but Ryan too, has Eddie grinning ear to ear as he nods in response to the small boy. Eddie would absolutely agree that this is the coolest thing ever. But not for the same reasons his sons do. 

The tracks are cleaned and reset a number of times, letting different cars and different drivers take their turns. But none of the excitement will ever live up to that initial race to Ryan and Luke. Seeing those real-life Hot Wheels in motion for the first time blew their little minds. By the end, you and Eddie are both watching the boys more than the show in front of you. 

Once the last race has been run and the show has come to its end, it’s clear all the excitement and sitting out in the heat have worn the boys out—-Eddie and you too, if you were being honest. The sun is setting now and it gives you a reprieve from the heat as you head back to the car.

“So, kiddo,” Eddie says, gently shaking Luke’s hand where he holds it in his own. “Where should we stop off on the way home to grab a birthday cake?”

“I get cake today, too?” Luke asks, voice rising higher in pitch the further he gets in the question. “Awesome!”

Eddie was planning to get a second cake for Luke’s actual birthday on Monday, but guilt gnaws in his head. You won’t be there on Monday, and Brittany will.  You’ll be the one who remembers his birthday wish, always said aloud despite Ryan’s reminder to keep it a secret. 

Since you can’t be there when Luke blows out the candles on Monday, Eddie ensures that he’ll have a cake today as well. The happier cake, Eddie bitterly thinks.

“Dairy Queen!” Luke announces as everyone piles into the car. 

“Nice choice,” Eddie commends, raising his eyebrows. 

“I love those little crunchy things in the middle of the ice cream layers,” Luke elaborates as he buckles himself into his seatbelt. “They look like little clumps of dirt but taste like little nuggets from Heaven!” 

You and Eddie share an amused smile as he slips the key into the ignition and starts the car. 

“Oooh!” Ryan says, twisting in his seat to look out the back windshield. It’s dark now, but he knows it’s the general direction of where the stadium is. “Can we take our car on the Hot Wheels track?”

Luke gasps in excitement and joins in the begging.

“Please? Just once?”

“Guys, we can’t just drive on to the track,” Eddie says, shaking his head in amusement. Though he will admit to himself, that sounds like it would be so much fuckin’ fun. “Professionals drive those cars. Cars that are specifically made to do that kind of stuff.”

“Yeah,” you add, turning around in your seat to face the boys as Eddie pulls out of the parking space. “And I don’t know about you, but if I went upside down like that, I would feel too sick to have any delicious Dairy Queen ice cream cake.”

You’re aware your words are most likely untrue, but it gets the boys thinking about the sweet treat again rather than wanting to go perform professional stunts in the dark with no supervision. 

There’s a drug store right in front of the first Dairy Queen you come across on the drive home, so you run in there to grab some birthday candles while Eddie and the boys get a cake. 

You meet them at an outside table where Eddie is carefully removing the vanilla-frosted cake from the box. While he takes care of that, you unload the bag of supplies you bought at the drugstore. Sure, Dairy Queen had paper plates to eat off of, but there’s no way they had ones as cool as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle ones you found. 

“Ahhh!” Luke’s face lights up when he sees the package of plates and happily takes them from you so he can rip the plastic off. 

Of course, the matching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle napkins were a necessity as well. But with everything that Luke likes, there’s no way you could stick with one theme when you saw the party supply aisle. 

Next, out come the Scooby Doo party hats and matching noise makers. Ryan giggles as you situate his hat atop his dark golden curls and adjust the strap below his chin. Unsurprisingly, Luke went for a noise maker first, which has Eddie giving you a fake glare. With a soft giggle, you give him an innocent shrug in return.

Scooping up another cardboard cone hat, you step closer to Eddie and slide it on him. If you’re being honest with yourself, this is mostly just an excuse to touch him. The backs of your fingers lightly brush against his stubble as you hook the string on his strong jaw. His hair is still tied back, but that gives you the perfect opportunity to fix the strands of hair that frame his face when they get shifted from securing the hat. 

The moment the pads of your fingers make contact with the soft tendrils of hair, a pleasant chill runs down your spine. Doe eyes watch your face as you arrange small sections of his fly away hairs, but you don’t dare meet his eye. There’s no way you’d be able to keep all the emotions you try to keep bottled up inside from broadcasting across your face like a scroll sign in Times Square. 

You clear your throat and take a step back. Trying to will all heat away from your face, you slip on your own Scooby Doo party hat, make sure Luke is wearing his, then tear open the package of candles you bought. The frozen frosting on top of the cake has thawed a bit from being outside in the Indiana evening heat, but it still takes a little effort to stab five green striped candles around the edges of the cake, and one white one in the middle for luck.  

Eddie slips a silver lighter out of his pocket and leans in until there’s a small flame dancing on top of each candle’s wick. 

“Okay,” Eddie says as he slips the zippo back into his pocket. He moves to stand behind Luke, gently resting his hands on his son's shoulders. “One, two, three…”

A chorus of Happy Birthday to You begins and Luke’s gleeful face is illuminated even brighter by the fire casting its light. 

“…happy birthday, dear Luuu-uuuke. Happy birthday to you!”

“Make a wish, sweetheart,” you tell him.

“But don’t say it out loud!” Ryan reminds him, a hint of anger in his voice letting you know this is a regular occurrence. 

Luke’s lips form a pucker as he thinks. The gears churning in his head are practically visible as he casts his gaze upward, then downward. Then, his eyes flit to his father behind him, then over to you. A smile that you could only describe as hopeful slowly grows on Luke’s lips as he leans in towards the cake. The almost-five-year-old takes a deep inhale in through the nose, then blows all his candles out in one shot. 

The smoke curls into the air and disappears as you and Eddie clap your hands now that Luke made his wish. 

The cold cake is the perfect dessert to be eating outside on a warm summer-but-not-technically-summer-yet night. The vanilla and chocolate ice cream along with the crispy, crunchy pieces in the middle are the perfect way to end such a lovely day. 

You’ve never had a day out with the Munson men like this before. Something deep inside of you wonders if all of this was a good thing or bad thing, though. Because before you didn’t know what you were missing. Now, you know how it feels to spend time with them as a person—not an employee. Just as a friend to Eddie—-and okay, maybe still like a babysitter to the kids. But it’s so different than just being in the Munson house until Eddie comes home, get paid, then leave. This was time together. And it was one of the best times you’ve ever had. 

“You’ll always have the memory of today,” you whisper to yourself as you walk away from the guys to throw away empty plates and used napkins. “Even if I never get another day like this again, I’ll always have the memory of this one and how nice it feels to spend time with them. All of them.”

You take a deep breath walking back towards everyone, mentally composing yourself so you don’t give away that you’re getting caught up in your own head. 

“We ready to get back on the road?” Eddie asks, patting his front pocket that holds the keys. 

“Yes—oh. One second. Luke?” You chuckle and take a seat down at the table. When the little boy looks at you, you gesture for him to come over to you. “It’s a good thing I didn’t throw away all the napkins.”

There’s ice cream all over Luke’s face. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he had been trying to devour it by osmosis. 

“How did you get chocolate in your eyebrow?” you ask with a chuckle as you gently rub at the area above his eye. After one more once over, everything looks good—nice and clean. “There we go.”

“Thank you!” Luke leans in and pecks your cheek before spinning around and heading towards the car. 

The small display of affection has you giddy as you follow behind him. It’s the little moments where you realize that they love you right back that turn you into a puddle on the floor. But you’d happily stay that way if it meant the boys love you even half as much as you love them. 

Despite the recent sugar rush, it doesn’t take long once you get on the road again for the boys to fall asleep. Soft snores come from one of them, but it’s impossible to tell who since they’ve somehow come to sleep with their heads resting up against one another’s. 

It leaves no room for you and Eddie to talk, but you don’t mind. Companionable silence with Eddie is comfortable, there’s no urge to fill the silence with some small talk or forced conversation. It’s relaxing even, to sit next to Eddie and just be. There’s nothing you have to do, nothing to worry about, it’s just you sitting next to Eddie while the beauty of Indiana at dusk rushes by outside the windows. As much as you don’t want to think about it, you could definitely get used to this. 

When Eddie pulls up to your apartment complex, you almost want to be a child and beg for one more ride around the block. The boys are still sleeping and the only sound is from the crickets chirping outside as Eddie kills the engine.

“Thank you for inviting me today,” you say. “I really had a lot of fun.”

“Yeah, those cars were pretty cool, huh?” Eddie asks with a soft chuckle as he reaches up to scratch the back of his neck. 

“Oh, no. Well, I mean, yes, they were, but I didn’t just mean them. I had a lot of fun hanging out with the three of you.” If your wife bails on you again, just let me know, you think, but almost laugh to yourself when you realize you need to correct it. WHEN your wife bails on you. 

“I had a really great time, too,” Eddie says. “I always have a great time with my boys. But you made it even more fun.”

Heat rushes to your face and you instinctively avert your gaze and duck your head. 

One of the boys lets out a whopper of a snore and it startles both you and Eddie, who let out soft matching chuckles at your own jumpiness.

“Since they’re out like a light,” you say, looking over your shoulder at the two boys snoozing in the backseat, “tell them how much fun I had with you all, yeah?”

“Will do,” Eddie affirms. 

“And give them a kiss from me when you tuck them in.” Part of you is tempted to lean in and press a quick peck to Eddie’s cheek that’s meant for him to then pass in turn to the boys, but all emotions other than desire somehow keep it reigned in. 

Taking a deep breath, you reach for the door handle and curl your fingers around the silver lever. 

“I’ll see you soon, yeah?” you ask Eddie, offering him a small smile. 

“Absolutely. I’d, uh, offer to walk you inside, but I’ve got these two sleeping sloths in the back. I don’t trust them alone—even unconscious.”

Your soft responding giggle has Eddie smiling in his shadowed corner of the car. 

“Bye, Eddie.” The passenger side door opens with a clack and you swing one leg out of it.

“Bye, sweetheart.”

The moment the car door closes behind you, Eddie’s gaze falls to your ass. He watches each sway of your hips and finds his teeth sharply digging into his lower lip. 

“God damn,” Eddie mutters to himself once he sees you’re safely inside your building. 

He sits there for another quiet moment, one hand on the gear shift. After taking a deep lungful of air and releasing it slowly, Eddie turns the car back on and pulls out of the parking spot. 

The car hasn’t even made it out of the complex parking lot when Eddie hears his youngest stirring in the backseat with an overexaggerated yawn. The little boy smacks his lips together a few times before he opens his mouth and speaks in a voice still laced with sleep.

“Can I have some more cake?”

[outivv]

I’m so disappointed with the natlan teaser because like. Girl. All of those characters would straight up look better if they had even the tiniest bit of melanin don’t even lie hyv.

I’m gonna go on a fat rant here so below the cut, fair warning because it’s messy as fuck I’m just pissed off

No because how are you going to straight up take the inspirations, and clear liberties from Aztec, Māori, Qichwa, Nigerian, Hawaiian, Native American, And Mayan (according to this image from @ HYVboycott on Twitter highly recommend btw they have good info imo)

And then you’re not gonna represent them in terms of their skin color??? Yes there are pale people in all these countries and pale people apart of these cultures, HOWEVER the vast majority of people, or the native people are not typically fucking white. I am white and I literally am darker than the majority of the genshin characters, even in winter when I don’t fucking tan. Like the genshin characters don’t even look ALIVE for Christ’s sake. Hyv are a bunch of cowards who take inspiration from poc, and don’t properly represent them, even in their other games like honkai Star rail. Boothill is Native American. Blatantly. “Oh, no he’s not!!” Yes the fuck he is, his entire backstory is based off of native people, he’s also part Hispanic because the original cowboys were Hispanic people called vaqueros, his home planet in the original CN version of honkai Star rail is literally two native tribes put together I believe. He is Native American, and Hispanic, and hyv TOOK that inspiration and that culture and then was too much of a coward to AT LEAST make him tan. Don’t even get me started on aventurine. So it’s not just with genshin that they do this shit, it’s a hyv problem as a whole, but with genshin it’s so like… common, and genshin has so many issues that make it feel like a cash-grab kinda game, and like the devs are just spitting in our face CONSTANTLY, especially when it comes to characters, and representation. It’s so depressing to see a game that at first had so much fucking promise, now just be such a fucking letdown after like what? 5? 4? Years? Like you’ve built up so much hype, and lore, and excitement just for Sumeru and Natlan not having any representation like fuck off. Hyv CAN fix these issues, they just don’t want to and they have expressed that time and time again by making dark skinned enemies, and enemies with dreadlocks. They know that they can, they just don’t want to because they’re too pussy. And it’s not because they’re a Chinese company, I mean obviously I understand that there is a complicated relationship with tan skin and China, HOWEVER that is no excuse because genshin, honkai Star rail, zenless zone zero, and honkai impact 3rd are all worldwide games and they need to appeal to their WORLDWIDE customers, and I’ve seen plenty of CN players fucking just as pissed off that there isn’t any actual diversity for like any of their games. Plus other Chinese companies have made diverse games, like Dislyte which I’m honestly a huge fucking fan of because of their diversity. Having diversity would BENEFIT hoyoverse a hell of a lot, but they are just trying to appeal to greasy old white men who are the same men who have a tantrum while making a reaction video to a game trailer and go “OH MY GOD SHE ISNT GOT ENOUGH!! LOOK AT HER!! SHE ISNT SEXY!!”, “OH MY GODDD THEY HAVE PRONOUNS NOW!! THE WOKE SNOWFLAKES GOT TO THEM”, and “OH MY GOD ASSASSINS CREED IS MAKING A BLACK SAMURAI THE MAIN CHARACTER!! NOOOO THATS NOT HISTORICALLY ACCURATE!!” Because they’re all pathetic, and that’s who hoyoverse is trying to cater to.

Okay I’m done, this went all over the place but I’m so pissed off so fuck hyv, give them the feedback they deserve, have a great day.

[daydreamgoddess14]

Red Card

MASTERLIST

Roy Kent x F!Reader

It's the first time in 135 years that the Premier League has allowed a female referee to official a match... Remaining neutral is absolutely key. Plenty of fluff and smut and flirting 😏

The anticipation was at a whole different level. For the first time in history, a woman would referee a Premier League football game. The FA had played a blinder from a marketing perspective - a local girl from Richmond itself - refereeing a Richmond vs. Man City match - the top two finishing teams of the previous season. Sky Sports, BT Sport, Match of the Day, ESPN… every single football broadcaster or news outlet was on site. It couldn’t get any more high profile. It had been all anyone had talked about for weeks on end. Roy was sick of hearing about it, talking about it, and reading about it.

“New Trent?”

“What do you think about a woma-”

“Reffing the next match? It’s about fucking time. Should have been done years ago. The league might be saying all the right things and making a big deal out of it, but it’s only disguising the fact that they haven’t bothered utilising female referees until now.”

“And what do you think of the referee chosen for the match?”

“Did I offer you a fucking follow up, New Trent? She’s a fantastic ref, and has a great eye. I’ve seen her run some lower league matches and it’s high time she had a role in the Prem.” He looked around for his next victim, “You with the… bald spot?”

“And will you be saying the same thing if she books one of the lads next week or a decision doesn’t go your way?”

“Course I fucking will. I don’t suddenly change my opinion of any of the other refs? We’ve all got jobs to do and roles to play. I don’t think we can ask for anything more than for any of the referees to be fair and equal. I don’t give a shit who we’re on about, that applies to all of them.” He looks around for any other burning questions, “Right, fuck off then you lot. I’m done for the day.” He rose from the desk and left the bustle of the press conference. In the office, Beard and Nate were looking over plans for the next week while the team milled around the gym and treatment rooms.

“Tough presser?” Beard asked.

“No more than fucking usual. All anyone is talking about is the new-”

“Female ref? The news is everywhere. As if the match wasn’t high profile enough as it is.” Nate filled in, a bundle of nervous energy.

“Yeah, well we’ll be fine. Just gotta make sure the boys keep their heads down. The new ref isn’t their problem, they don’t need to even be thinking about that.”

“But they will, because that’s all they’re hearing about. We haven’t had this much press coverage for ages, the match sold out months ago. They may not have to think about her, but the whole situation does impact their whole build up to the game.” Beard declared.

“Right, get ‘em in here.” Roy grimaced. Nate dashed off to assemble the team. “Alright lads?” There were a few murmurs and replies. “I know there’s a lot of noise around this one - some of it is to do with us and the City game, some of it is none of our business. I suggest you steer clear of the news for a few fucking days. There’s no need to watch it at all. No Twatter or whatever you fucking use. Just stay off that shit for the rest of the week, yeah? Any news you need, you hear from us. I want to keep the positivity we’ve got for the new ref, so if you’re asked about it by the paps on the car park, be fucking nice. Otherwise, you don’t watch or listen to all of the fucking fuss about the weekend, alright?”

“Coach.” Isaac nodded in agreement, the other players followed his lead.

~~~~~~~

The noise was deafening, the stadium packed to the rafters. You hovered at the side of the pitch with the other officials, warming up until it was time for the meet and greet of the team managers. The two managers were like fucking titans of football royalty. You were about to meet Pep Guardiola for god sake. And if you even think for one second about meeting Roy Kent, you might just pee your pants. Pep is great, wonderful - the boss! But you grew up not twenty minutes down the road, so Roy is firstly, the literal definition of local hero, and secondly, the big crush of your early 20s. You spent many Euro Championships and World Cups in the pub singing his chant and ogling his legs. Fortunately when the Premier League and media ask about your neutrality, they don’t ask whether you’ve experienced sexual fantasies about any of the players or managers. At least you’d only be admitting that about one person and not, like, a whole team. And you would never admit it publicly. The home crowd roars as the Richmond team is announced, you make your way to the space between the two dugouts ready to greet the players. They all shake your hand as they pass you, with a few nods of encouragement and words of support. The same applies to the Man City team, you’re determined not to be starstruck in front of Pep Guardiola so you shake his hand with a big smile and wish his team luck. You turn to Roy Kent and his large hang engulfs yours. You whack on your big smile and offer the same affirmation as you did to Pep. On the pitch, you speak momentarily with the two captains and blow your whistle for go time. 

The trouble with Premier League football is just that, it's Premier League. Top flight. The best of the best. Keeping pace with these players was a job in itself, being in the action without impacting it or getting in the way was another, and being the all seeing, all knowing one was… yet another. Your mind (and body) are pulled from goalpost to goalpost, and it's really no surprise that the referee is often blamed for poor decisions. It's impossible to see every single thing that happens on the pitch. You're making good decisions so far, nothing out of the ordinary. Shortly before halftime, one of the Richmond defenders nearly dislocates his shoulder, going in hard on Haaland. It feels cruel to punish him, but it's part of the job, so you have to award Man City the free kick. From the other side of the pitch, you can hear Roy Kent over the sound of 60,000 people screaming the same thing. Haaland scores, of course. You hang back while the teams leave the pitch at halftime, but he's waiting for you in the tunnel. 

"The fuck did you give a free kick for?!"

"You shouldn't be collaring me out here, but to answer your question, the tackle was too much."

"Bullshit, it was a fair tackle and McAdoo would have hurt himself more than Haaland."

"Bullshit. Haaland has got about 5 inches and half a stone on McAdoo."

"5 inches is fucking nothing." He smirks.

"Really?” You arch an eyebrow at him, “did you seriously choose today to make a dick joke?" Utter disbelief is written all over your face, you shake your head and leave him cursing himself in the tunnel. Halftime was supposed to be a moment to catch your breath, not waste it on fighting with Roy Kent. You knew better than to get into it with managers. They saw the action from the sidelines and only had so much impact and influence. They took their lack of control out on officials all the time, it was supposed to be your job to stay calm and walk away, not engage. You ignore him on your way back to the pitch, he's just inside the exit of the tunnel and he could be there to apologise but he could very much be there to shout at you some more. The second half is just as eventful, Richmond are pushing hard for at least an equaliser, and Man City are loath to let them get it. When Obisanya has a shot on goal, which goes wide, City are pleading for a goal kick, but it's not. You award the corner, and Rojas sweeps a beautiful pass into Tartt, who sends the ball straight into the corner of the net. City scores again shortly afterwards, and you have to keep your head to make sure no one is deliberately trying to cause injury to anyone else. When Tartt goes down just outside the area, you request VAR footage to aid your decision before calling for a free kick. He scores, but it's an immediate offside and Roy Kent looks like he might explode. When play resumes, Colin Hughes gets a goal straight away. The game ends in a 2-2 draw, but the fans and teams both seem appeased. 

~~~~~

By the time the press conferences are over, Roy's had more than enough. He (respectfully) disagreed with your first free kick decision, but praised your other choices and overall declared you "No better or worse than the other pricks." The stadium is starting to clear, and the Man City bus has just left. Richmond players make plans to get food at Ola’s. When Roy sees two of the officials only just leaving, he sends the others ahead and makes his way down to the away team and visitors facilities.

“I hope you’re here to apologise.” She states dryly as he approaches.

“Yeah,” he looks bashful, “the dick joke was a dick move. Sorry.” She looks so serious, he’s not sure the apology is accepted until he spies a tiny smile pulling at the corner of her mouth.

“Was pretty funny. In alternative circumstances.”

“Noted. Congratulations anyway, noise from the press has all been good so far.”

“Nice to know my performance will be scrutinised forever while every mediocre male referee gets a pass for another week.”

“I’m sure your performance will only improve.” He inwardly groaned. She was going to laugh in his face. A dick joke and then godawful flirting? It was only what he deserved.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence. I’ll pass that direct quote on to The Sun.” 

“They’ll have a fucking field day. Richmond manager does shit job at flirting with the only female ref in the league? They’ll probably go and interview the poor woman I called my girlfriend when we were in year 6.”

“Flirting?” 

“No,” he scoffed, “no, course not. I didn’t mean that. Just a joke.” You cocked your head at him,

“Should we start again? Hi, you must be Roy Kent, I’m the first female referee in a Premier League game in 31 years. Well, actually it’s more like 135 years but the FA are trying to make themselves look marginally better.”

“Nice to meet you. Great job on the match, I respectfully, completely, disagree with that fucking free kick in the first half but other than that… no complaints.” He steps closer, you’re showered and changed but he can still smell the fresh grass mingling with the citrus and spice of the products you use. The combination is incredible - like summer and sunshine.

“I wouldn’t give a shit if you did have any complaints. Looking after your feelings isn’t in my job description.” You take in his height, broad shoulders and dark eyes and the long dormant crush rises to the surface immediately. You hadn’t taken much notice since you stopped having posters on your walls all those years ago, you’d only caught a few of his appearances as a pundit. He’s gorgeous, despite his surly appearance there’s an unmistakable twinkle of mischief in his eyes. Like he’s having fun with whatever this tension is that bubbles between you. And when he does smile at your commitment to fairness, it takes your breath away.

“Good to know the FA can rely on you staying neutral then.” He says quietly. Anticipation crackles in the air and fizzes in your stomach. You match his playfulness in your response, and step into his personal space,

“I don’t think there’s anything here that could sway me to any team in particular.” You smile, “not yet, anyway.” He waits until you’ve definitely left the room before he lets go of the breath he’s been holding. 

~~~~~

You’re dragged out by your friends to celebrate that night, even though your legs ache like you’ve done a 10km run. It wasn’t so much the running, you specifically trained for that, it’s the constant change in direction and the intensity of having your attention focused on so many things at once. If the FA thought they could throw you under a bus by giving you such a high profile game, you’re pleased you proved them wrong. The bar is crowded and noisy and you’ve already spotted a couple of the Richmond players - it was bound to happen in a relatively small town if they couldn’t be bothered to go right into the city. You’re at the bar ordering when you feel a hand on your hip and someone standing very closely behind you, a hand raises above you holding a credit card, and gestures to the barman. You’re about to lose your shit when you hear his voice rumble behind you,

“I’ve got these, mate.” He steps to your side when the person next to you moves, but his hand lingers, “I hope buying you a drink doesn’t make you question your bias?”

“Not at all, I’m afraid you’d have to work much harder than that.” He looks even better than he did a few hours ago, desire coils inside you and you instinctively draw your thighs together. It doesn’t help when he noticeably looks at your mouth, red lipstick is your ‘go to’ for a night out.

“I’ll bear that in mind.” Your drink is put on the bar next to you and you lick your lips before taking a sip. Neither of you has broken eye contact. You hear your name from a few feet away at the edge of the dance floor.

“Excuse me,” you raise your glass to him, “thank you for the drink.” 

“Bruv, is that the ref from today?” Isaac steps up beside him.

“Yeah, yeah that’s her.”

“She’s fit. You gonna ask her out?”

“Dunno Isaac, bit fucking old for that shit now.”

“Nah man, I just seen the way she looked at you-” he shakes Roy’s shoulder, “ooooh! Get it boy!” Roy rolls his eyes and smirks, watching you get dragged to the dance floor. He knows he must be old because he’s only been standing pitchside for the match and wouldn’t be caught dancing. You’ve run your legs off and then still managed to get them into that sequined mini skirt and up dancing. You can feel his eyes on you but you’d rather keep your back to him and try and carry on as casually as you can, if you turn around you know you won’t be able to stop staring. At least with your back to him, you can ignore him. Plus you know your arse looks great in this skirt, it was literally the sole reason for buying it in the first place. With all the running and training you do, you’re conscious of your strong thighs and hips but sometimes, just sometimes, they make you feel powerful. Eventually, you have to duck out of the dancing - mimicking a timeout to your friends. Roy is exactly where you left him at the bar and the alcohol makes you bold. You squeeze back in next to him and take a sip of his drink, yours is long finished. 

“Help yourself.” He smirks, his hand moving to your hip again, hidden by the darkness of the bar. You put a hand on his thigh and lean in slightly, taking some of the pressure off your feet. You’re close enough that he can see your breath hitch as his thumb finds a patch of exposed skin at the waistband of your skirt. 

“Do you want to get out of here?” You ask quickly, pushing your nerves down. He nods and finishes most of his drink, offering the last of it to you. Outside, word has gotten out that half a football team is at the bar and everyone is out for a glimpse of Jamie Tartt. You push past the photographers with Roy’s hand at the small of your back and into a nearby taxi.

~~~~~

“Please tell me there aren’t any fucking rules about this,” Roy mumbles somewhere in the valley between your breasts.

“I have no fucking clue, and I don’t really care right now.” You gasp, breathless as he leaves a mark on your soft skin.

“No? No danger of a red card?” You laugh and it’s musical and magical and neither of you have had this much fun in ages.

“No red cards for Roy Kent. Probably makes a fucking change.”

“Oi, cheeky. I never got that many.” He’s moved down again, unzipped your skirt and thrown it behind him somewhere.

“Fucking liar. They literally use you as an example of trouble players. Oh, fuck-” he bites your thigh.

“A good example or bad example?” His tongue sweeps over your clit and you nearly rocket off the bed until he hooks his arms over your thighs and pulls you back down to him.

“Oh god, bad example,” You feel him hum against you as he works you to your peak,

“Shame, I’m a changed man.” 

“Uhuh, ok,” you whisper, unable to think or speak any more coherently.

“How's your neutrality holding up?” Your hands tangle in his hair,

“Fuckkk, sooo good.”

“I’ll have to fucking try harder then,” he chuckles. You’re about to beg for mercy when he pushes two fingers into you and curls them to just the right angle that has you seeing stars. When he comes back up to kiss you, you rock your hips against his and he helps roll you both over, sitting up so he can still kiss you. His kisses are rough and needy, making you grind down against him. When you nip his neck, he pulls gently at your loose hair, whimpering and god, you’d do anything, anything to have him make that sound again. It only makes you rock harder against him, desperate to feel him inside you. When he finally pushes into you, your body clenches. You rise and fall onto him over and over, grateful for those powerful thighs he can’t keep his hands off. When he brings a hand between you both and circles your clit, you drop your head into the crook of his neck and bite down to stifle your moan. You feel his hips stutter under you as you both come, making you drop your own rhythm. You collapse in a tangle of limbs and sheets against him. 

“If you ask me again if you’ve swayed me yet, I’ll bite you.”

“You’ve already fucking done that,” he laughs. “Still need to try harder?” 

“Hmm, there’s no harm in trying again. You might win me over.”

“And over and over?” He kisses you again, so slowly it’s intoxicating. 

When you wake in the morning, it’s to the sound of his phone ringing. He tears himself away from where he’s curled behind you, the length of his legs against yours, his chest against your back and his arms around you.

“Yeah,” his voice is low and rough with sleep and it’s enough to have you roll over and press your body back into his. You can’t hear the other person, but he hangs up quickly and opens a link they’ve sent. It’s a picture on Twitter of the two of you leaving the bar together with his hand on your lower back with the headline “RED CARD FOR KENT?”

“Told you you were fucking trouble.” You laugh.

FIN

[gigglesandfreckles-hp]

OH JILY PROMPTS pleaseeee can you do number 51 (we're so hot) or 56 (baking is a science) ♡♡

from these prompts

They’re on very official, very important Head duties.

If asked to specify exactly what those duties entail or what makes them so very official and important, there would be some hesitation and a fair bit of fumbling, but ultimately, they’d make something up, because it’s well after curfew and the rumours about the Head Boy and Head Girl dating aren’t entirely baseless, but it’s not as if they need to add fuel to the fire.

They are distinctly not taking advantage of the freedom afforded to them by their badges to find new places to fool around.

“It’s this way,” James says, using his grip on her hand to tug her down another hallway. “I think.”

Lily sighs, a mix of exasperation and fondness. “Why didn’t you just bring the map?”

“Because, Evans,” he drawls, “where’s the fun in that?”

“Of course,” she says, rolling her eyes and quickening her pace to match his long strides. “No fun to be had in actually having a destination in mind instead of mindlessly wandering around the castle at half eleven, trying Alohamora on random doors.”

“I’m hearing a lot of complaining from the girl who practically begged me to—” He jiggles another doorknob and curses under his breath before dragging her further down the hall.

“And what if I change my mind before we find an actual spot?”

James comes to an abrupt halt, dropping her hand to turn around. “Lily Evans, you wouldn’t.”

She laughs, the kind that bubbles up and spills out. “No, Potter. I wouldn’t.”

He watches her for another moment, his eyes searching her face for any hint of deceit, before reclaiming her hand, this time threading his fingers through hers, and continues to pull her along the corridor.

And that’s when they hear Mulciber and Avery.

It couldn’t be Dolohov or Snape or anyone with half a brain; no—it had to be fucking Mulciber and Avery. The Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum of Slytherin House.

The issue with it being them is that there’s no reasoning, no common sense, no ‘get back to your common room before we have to dock points.’

It doesn’t mean they don’t try.

“Do you have a pass from a professor, to be out at these hours?” Lily speaks up before James can, because a) it’s usually easier this way and b) one of the lovely things about James Potter is that he never minds being in the background, at least not if it’s her background.

Mulciber sneers at her and Lily immediately knows what’s coming next. She wishes she was still holding James’s hand so she could warn him too, with a small squeeze of ‘don’t freak out, I’m okay, I’m used to it, please don’t freak out, he’s not worth it.’

“Filthy Mudblood bitch.”

Lily has less than a split second to decide whether to try and stop James from raising his own wand or whether to draw her own. In the end, it is a good thing she chooses the latter because Avery fires off a nasty curse that Lily barely manages to deflect toward Mulciber. The howl of pain he releases as he drops to the ground isn’t enviable. The amplification of that howl as James hits him with another hex for good measure makes Lily wince.

They make short work of Avery after that and, barring a quick argument on whether or not to levitate the boys to the Slytherin common room with a signed note and a confetti bow, decide to leave the boys where they are in the halls, petrified for whichever professor happens to be up the earliest.

It isn’t until after they round the corner down the hall that Lily lets herself think about it. Not what Mulciber said because she has spent plenty of time thinking about that—but about them, her and James, and how, well, nice it is to have him at her side in moments like this. Even if he tends to go overboard, like, all the time.

“Potter.”

“Hm?” He doesn’t look up from his task—rebuttoning the cuff of his shirt now that the sleeves are pushed up to his elbows. His forearms flex with the motion, catching her eye. The button is stubborn, apparently, as James deftly twists his fingers around. He uses his shoulder to push his glasses up the bridge of his nose, his brow furrowed in concentration. A light sheen of sweat dots his forehead, but Lily loses sight of it as a wild curl flops down into his eyes.

She smiles appreciatively at the scene. “We’re so hot.”

His head pops up to look at her, amused and curious. “Er…what?”

Lily laughs and stops them in their tracks, gently taking over the task from his fumbling fingers. “Look at us. We’re…” She successfully manages to fasten the button and smiles up at him. “Don’t you ever feel that way? Like, one day, we’ll tell our kids about all the things we got up to and they’ll tell their friends and their friends will be like, shit, your parents were so cool.”

He grins down at her and tucks a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “Our kids, huh?”

She playfully shoves his chest, feeling her cheeks warm. “You know what I mean.”

“I do. I absolutely think our kids are gonna tell stories about their ridiculously fit, Quidditch Captain dad and the sexy, rebel Head Girl—”

“Why are our kids using terms like fit and sexy to describe their parents? That feels problematic.”

“It feels inevitable, actually. I mean,” he leans down, his tone light and teasing against her lips, “have you seen us?”

“Oh, piss off,” she snorts.

His grin widens against her mouth, even as he—finally—kisses her. “We are so hot, Evans,” he murmurs, his lips ghosting over the corner of her smile. “You," and back to her lips again, "are so hot.”

[ladykailitha]

Do You Know What Shovels Dig? Graves Part 5

Welp, fuck. Yeah this is going to be six parts now. This story just doesn’t know how to end itself so I’m putting the cutting point here and then finish the rest with BBQ idea.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

*

The remaining trio arrived after dinner. Jonathan, El, and Will had stayed over, order pizza.

“California really does have the superior pizza,” Jonathan hummed around his slice.

Steve scoffed. “Even better than Chicago? You’re crazy, man.”

“That isn’t pizza,” Jonathan argued. “That’s an open calzone.”

Will snickered as El cocked her head to the side as she tried to puzzle it out.

The doorbell rang and Steve wiped his hands on his jeans as he stood up to get it.

He opened the door to reveal Eddie with Lucas, Erica, and Max.

“Look what I found skulking around my place,” Eddie said proudly.

Lucas and Max looked at each other as Erica rolled her eyes.

“We figured that you would be over at Eddie’s,” Lucas explained quietly.

Steve shrugged. “I probably would have been if Dustin, Nancy and Mike didn’t stop by earlier.”

“Damn,” Max cursed. “I hoping to beat Dustin.”

Erica rolled her eyes again. “Can we get this over with?”

Steve just shook his head. “Me and Will and them are just finishing up dinner.”

Lucas frowned. “Will’s here?”

Steve smiled and then turned to lead them back to the kitchen. “Apparently Team Steve decided that they were going to monitor each apology to make sure they were actually apologies and not just excuses.”

“Wait, really?” Erica asked.

They entered the kitchen and Steve called out, “Look what Eddie dragged in.”

Eddie grinned.

“Come have pizza!” El said. “There’s plenty for everyone. Steve likes to get a lot.”

“That’s because I know that I will have people grazing the leftovers for the next couple days and I won’t accidentally get eaten out of house and home.”

El giggled.

They all settled down to eat. Happily chatting and laughing as they consumed all of the pizza.

Once everything was cleared away Will asked. “All right who’s first?”

Max and Lucas exchanged a glance.

“Um...” Lucas said.

“Because we did our shovel talk together, can we do our apology together?” Max asked.

Jonathan furrowed his brow. “I think that’s up to Steve.”

“I’m down if you guys are okay with that,” Steve said to everyone else.

There was nodding all around.

“I’ll handle this set,” Eddie said, “if you want to stand guard?”

Jonathan and Will nodded, but El shook her head. “I’m staying. I haven’t got to do one yet. You can chose to stay if you want, but I’m not moving.”

“Fair enough,” Eddie said. “How about this, we double team with Max and Lucas and then I can do Erica?”

El tilted her head to the side as she thought about it. “Agreed.”

Erica threw her arms in the air and left with the Byers boys.

“Is there a reason you have monitors?” Max asked once they had gone.

Steve laughed. “Apparently they think I let you guys get away with too much shit and wanted to make sure that didn’t happen with these apologies.”

Eddie grinned at them.

“Right...” Lucas said slowly, nodding his head. “So it started out as a joke...”

Steve held up his hand. “I’m going to stop you right there. No it didn’t. I don’t care if that’s what you thought. It did not start out as a joke. I will not take ‘it was a joke’ as an excuse. Because it’s starting to sound like you guys knew that other people were giving me the shovel talk and wanted to do it too. And if that is that case, I’m done.”

Eddie let out a low whistle. “I don’t know, Supergirl. I think our Stevie is going to be just fine.”

She giggled again. “Maybe, but I want to stay for the verbal beat down, don’t you?”

Eddie tilted his head and looked up. He pursed his lips and nodded. “No, no, you’re right. Should we get popcorn?”

Steve laughed.

Max bit her lip. “We knew Mike and Erica had done it,” she admitted. “But we didn’t know about anyone else we swear! Ten is too fucking much.”

“That’s good to hear, I guess,” Steve said. “But seriously, a joke? Shovel talks aren’t funny. Not the first time and definitely not the tenth.”

Eddie frowned. “Who was the first?”

Steve cocked his head to the side and leaned against the counter. “Mike.”

Everyone boggled at Steve.

“Mike was the first?” Lucas asked.

Steve shrugged. “It’s why I believed him when he said he had been joking. Because no one else had done it at that point.”

“Were there other people between Erica and Mike,” Max asked, “and us?”

Steve folded his arms and nodded.

“Yeah, okay,” Lucas said. “Yeah, I get not accepting ours as a joke at that point.”

Max nodded. “We are sorry, Steve. I understand that saying we didn’t know won’t cut it, but we really didn’t know. We also...” she looked over at Lucas and blushed. “We also thought that Eddie was getting them, too.”

Lucas nodded. “Like we thought Dustin and Robin for sure would have given Eddie the shovel talk. But when we found out that no one had? That really put the nail in the coffin for all this.” He hung his head. “We’re really sorry, man.”

“Yeah,” Max agreed. “We should have known better about the shovel talk to begin with. I wouldn’t want one and I wouldn’t want Lucas to get one either. Our relationship is no one else’s business. And getting into yours and Eddie’s business was wrong. We’re sorry.”

Steve sighed and glanced at El and Eddie to see if it was good enough. They both nodded. “Okay, I accept your apology. Especially since it seems like you learned your lesson. And if you do something like that to someone else, make sure they know it’s a joke. Because I sure the hell didn’t.”

They both winced and then nodded.

Lucas came up and gave Steve a hug. “We’ll try to be better friends too,” he whispered. Steve nodded.

He walked out and Max stood there for a moment. She looked at Eddie and El for a moment before she launched herself at Steve. He caught her and held her tight.

“You’re the big brother I always dreamed of,” she said softly. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m so sorry, Steve.”

Steve kissed the top of her head. “I love you, too, Max.”

When she pulled away, she wiped her face. El held out her hand and Max took it.

“Come on,” El said gently. “Let’s go wash your face before we go back out to the boys.”

Max nodded gratefully and let herself be led away.

Erica came in a couple minutes later and sat down at the counter and stared both of them down. But when Eddie and Steve didn’t back down, she nodded.

“Good,” she said. “I don’t deal with bitches.”

Eddie scoffed. “Does your mother know you kiss her with that dirty mouth?”

Erica batted her eyelashes. “My mother thinks I’m an angel.”

Eddie threw his arms in the air. “Because of course she does.”

“I still haven’t heard an apology,” Steve said after a moment.

“You aren’t going to get one,” Erica said primly. “What you are going to get is why Steve and not Eddie that got the shovel talk.”

Eddie and Steve shared a confused glance.

“Come again?” Eddie asked.

Erica shrugged. “I mean I’m sorry everyone else had sticks up their ass, but I’m not sorry I gave Steve the shovel talk. He’s the badass of the pair of you and needs to know that I will defend my DM to the death if required.”

Steve ran his tongue over his lips and rolled his eyes. “So what I’m hearing is that you think I’m too badass to be protected?”

“Duh,” she said. “I’ve seen you in action. This little bitch nearly died.”

Eddie’s eyes went wide and he tilted his head forward. “Excuse me?”

“You clearly need to be protected from dying again,” Erica said.

“And why can’t I be the one protecting him?” Steve asked, furrowing his brow.

Erica paused for a moment. “You know, I didn’t think of it like that.” She cocked her head thoughtfully. “No, are you absolutely right. I commend you to service in defending Eddie the Banished. Don’t fuck it up.”

She hopped off the barstool and walked out.

“Does–does that count as an apology?” Eddie asked more than a little stunned.

Steve jutted out his bottom lip and nodded. “Coming from her? Yeah.”

Eddie nodded back. “Sounds about right. She certainly is something.”

“I fear for any boy that tries to break her heart,” Steve said. “She’ll break their knees.”

“Provided anyone can find the body,” Eddie agreed.

***

Part Six

Tag List: @justforthedead89 @zerokrox-blog @ihavekidneys @didntwant2come @thelittleclare @liorereshkigal @estrellami-1 @swimmingbirdrunningrock @telidina @stevesbipanic @paintsplatteredandimperfect @a-little-unsteddie @jonesn4coffee @resident-gay-bitch @obliosworld @croatoan-like-its-hot @evix-syne666 @emly03 @wonderland-girl143-blog @bookworm0690

[kentocidal]

just the tip — beidou, dehya, yelan, yae miko x afab!reader

cws: use of straps, i don’t care if they’re not viable in canon they are now, teasing, begging, dacryphilia, use of pet names, self-indulgent nonsense, mommy kink (yelan and yae)

a/n: i came up with this while doing my microeconomics final. do not ask me how or why. i don’t have an answer.

c. sangokokomis. do not rec my work on ti/kto/k.

beidou - you had been a menace all night. rocking back against her while dancing on the helm of the alcor, making a sort-of scene in front of her loyal crew. she played along, always one to keep a smile on her face, but the fact that she had to wait to teach you a lesson made her boil just a bit. and she was never mean, barely ever, so when you got her to be mean, it was a treat in and of itself. she had you down on your back, pressed hard into the mattress, knees bent up and held down in a mating press as she sunk just the thick tip of the strap into you, and nothing more. you hissed and tried to squirm, gripping at the sheets for purchase, but found yourself unable to move in the compromising position. she laughed, shaking her head, grinning down at you wolfishly while you begged. “aw, what’s wrong? got tired of teasing? guess you don’t like when i do it back, hm? that’s not fair. now it’s my turn, you hear me? you’re gonna cum just from bein’ all plugged up, and then i’ll fuck you good.”

dehya - dehya was just in a mood. you had done nothing different to warrant this, really, but she just felt like it. she knew your limits, she knew what you needed and how to give it to you, but sometimes making you squirm and sniffle was better than anything else. so that’s what she decided late that night in your tent in the middle of the desert while on a mission. your face shoved into the makeshift pillow, back arched, her claws sinking hard into your hips to keep you still. you whined out loudly when you felt the cold, thick tip of the strap press against your wet entrance, trying to rock your hips back, but you just couldn’t. she huffed as she guided the tip into you, watching closely as you clenched down on it. you moaned her name so pretty, but she pushed in no further. you squirmed under her, panting and trying to lift your head, but then her hand was on the back of your head, pushing your face back down. “stay still and take what i’m giving you. i’m taking my time, baby. you can wait. just feel it.”

yelan - you had been begging since she got home. she caught you red-handed, fingers deep in your pussy, eyes rolled back. she found the sight rather beautiful, but you were being disrespectful. you weren’t supposed to touch her property. after all. so it was no surprise that after she made you wait and cry and beg on your knees for her that she would only stuff you with the tip of her strap, barely giving the shallowest of thrusts into your sopping pussy. you were crying and she loved it, gazing down so sweetly at your wet face, your leg thrown over her shoulder as you were made to lay on your side. she would be so deep in you by now, had you not disobeyed. “bad girls who don’t listen to mommy only get the tip. you didn’t listen. stay still and maybe i’ll touch your clit like you’ve been begging me for.”

yae miko - yae barely ever took the time to pull the strap on, but when she did, she was a menace. you had flashed the puppy eyes, and how could she say no to her baby? but you had been demanding, missing a shift at the shrine, and she needed to just feel a bit more in power over you. not that she didn’t have plenty of power, but hey, she was a bit of an egoist. so she kept you on your back and smiled so warmly, slotted between your legs, sitting straight up in the candlelight and pushing juuuust the tip into your tight hole, grinning with those sharp teeth at the way you sighed with relief, and grinning even more when you realized she wasn’t moving. “what, honey? you’re upset because mommy isn’t fucking you? you know you have to work for it. come on, move your hips, show me… just like that…”

[sleepingdeath-light]

the beifong sisters vs no nut november hcs ; 18+

requested by ; disney anon (event)

fandom(s) ; the legend of korra

fandom masterlist(s) ; here

character(s) ; lin beifong, suyin beifong

warning(s) ; sexually explicit content, lin and suyin (separately) failing the ‘no nut november’ challenge

minors and ageless blogs will be blocked

lin beifong

has technically ‘won’ more than her fair share of nnns in the past, partially because of how busy her work keeps her (i.e. she barely has the time to breathe some days, let alone attend to her own needs) and partially because before you she just hadn’t been in a relationship for a while, but now that she’s actually in a devoted (and active) relationship with you she doesn’t really see any point in participating — why would she want to actively avoid getting off when she could instead spend her evenings buried between your thighs making you see stars, or riding your face to destress after a long day?

so, needless to say, it will take a lot to convince her to participate — and she will only participate if you do too

but once she does finally agree, lin actually ends up finding the whole nnn thing to not be all that challenging and if she was left to her own devices she could very easily make it through the whole month without finishing once — even if there are plenty of days throughout november that could have been made much much easier with a glass of wine, a hot bath, and an orgasm in the evening to make her less tempted to punch the lights out of some of the people she deals with on a daily basis…

that being said, she’s still not entirely invested in the challenge and can be convinced to give up and fuck you dumb with her fingers/tongue/strap if you beg her really nicely or tease her enough that she decides to fuck the manners back into you — with the former being much easier and the latter being much more fun, especially if you happen to be of a brattier disposition (and enjoy seeing a rougher more authoritarian side to your girlfriend)

so, yeah, she’ll reluctantly participate in nnn if you ask her to do so with you and she’s more than capable of succeeding, but isn’t all that invested in it and will be more than happy to fold if asked or goaded into doing so

suyin beifong

found out about nnn years ago and will participate in the challenge every few years whenever she remembers it, but she’s never actually managed to succeed — typically failing around the first or second week, and once just barely managing to make it to the late twenties of the month before crumbling just shy of the finish line — though she’s still more than happy to give it another go with you if you ask

finds the first few days to be relatively easy, even going so far as to start teasing you here and there just for a bit of fun — optimistic as ever that she’s going to win this time while also making no attempt to hide her need for you as she brazenly flirts and teases you throughout the day

by the end of the first week, and going into the second, she starts to become much more reactive to your own flirting, and becomes even more physically affectionate than usual — at this point she’s still giving as good as she gets as far as the whole teasing thing goes, but it’s plainly obvious that it’s impacting her a whole lot more than usual from the way that she rubs her thighs together when you’re talking, or the way she can’t seem to tear her eyes away from your body when you’re exercising or practising your bending

around the middle of week two she starts floating the idea of giving up on the challenge, still not quite at the point where she’s failed on her own but very obviously starting to resent the whole ‘no cumming’ thing as the days go by

and if you don’t give in and break with her then by the end of day thirteen she will have lost to one of her toys and, shortly thereafter, she will make it her mission to make you fail too — all in good fun, of course

she’s extra flirty, extra touchy, struts about your shared bedroom in the most flattering lingerie you’ve ever seen in your life, encourages you to join her in the bath every time she bathes, and just generally makes it difficult for you to go about your normal life without dousing yourself in icy water every few hours — and, playful as ever, she teases the hell out of you whenever she notices you getting aroused by her antics (which, depending on what you’re into, will either make the situation much better or much worse)

and when you finally, finally, give in and take her to bed she does everything she can to make it worth your while (or, in other words, ensuring you won’t be walking straight, thinking clearly, or feeling anywhere close to unsatisfied once you leave the bedroom) — all the whole joking about how you two can always try again next year since you have plenty of time to practice

in other words, while suyin is more than happy to participate and relatively optimistic about her chances of success, it’s very unlikely that she’ll get close to ‘winning’ nnn and she has much more fun when trying to get you to lose with her

[aria-greenhoodie]

Yknow I was mentioning “A World Without Wordgirl” earlier to my boyfriend and it’s honestly such a fucked up episode if you think about its implications for more than like, 2 seconds.

Like, Becky Botsford aka Wordgirl is 10 YEARS OLD and she has to CONSTANTLY leave behind her friends and family and miss out on fun, normal kid activities to take care of some mess a (usually grown-ass) villain made. We see this happen in plenty of other episodes, but “A World Without Wordgirl” makes it even more obvious.

It’s this kid’s BIRTHDAY, and her parents decided to go all out for her. They brought her best friends, got her a bouncy castle, got her ponies to ride, did all these really sweet and amazing things for their daughter, but she didn’t get to enjoy ANY of it because she kept having to zoom off and fight crime as Wordgirl. She’s just a KID! She is a 5th grader for goodness sake, she shouldn’t be sacrificing her BIRTHDAY, the single most exciting and highly-anticipated day of the year for a kid, to clean up after criminals that the local law enforcement couldn’t handle. And she isn’t forced to interrupt her party once, no, she’s forced to interrupt her own fun SEVERAL TIMES to the point that every single nice thing her parents did for her she misses, doesn’t get to enjoy any of it. So of course, she’s so fed-up by the end of the day, so tired of having to pick up after everyone, she makes the wish that she wasn’t Wordgirl, and that Wordgirl never existed… just like ANY EXASPERATED 10 YEAR OLD MAY DO IF THEY WERE IN HER SITUATION!

And what is she given in response to her extremely understandable angst? SHE IS IMMEDIATELY SCARED STRAIGHT BY EVERYTHING AROUND HER FUNDAMENTALLY CHANGING DUE TO WORDGIRL BEING ERASED FROM EXISTENCE (courtesy of electrified magic birthday cake).

In the universe without her, CHUCK of all villains is running the city, allowing the other villains to run amok as well, under his rule (sans Twobrains). Becky is shown that if she DOESN’T continue to sacrifice every single nice thing that happens to her in order to clean up messes that ADULT LAW ENFORCEMENT SHOULD BE HANDLING, the city will fall to villainous hands. She’s shown that she HAS to be a savior, a protector, a hero above anything else. She’s not allowed to be a kid, she’s not allowed to have a carefree childhood and leave larger issues to the adults, she’s not allowed to enjoy herself without the anxiety of another crime taking place that she has to stop.

And you know, this would be bad enough if this was the only episode that touched on this, but it ISN’T. This type of shit has happened to her SO MANY TIMES. The people of Fair City are absolutely HELPLESS without her, a 10 YEAR OLD GIRL. she’s not allowed to be a kid for more than 5 seconds without hearing some alarm in the distance! Sure, she chose to be a super hero, but she made that choice when she was still VERY YOUNG, and even if it was her choice, it’s still completely unfair that her entire childhood is marred by constant interruptions from villains and constant anxiety in anticipation of the next crime, not to mention the physical danger she’s put in nearly every day by (again, usually GROWN-ASS) villains who hold no care for her well-being!

She doesn’t even have a trusted adult figure to really confide in, either. The only adult who knows her secret identity (as far as I’ve gotten in the show) is her grandfather, but he doesn’t live with the Botsfords and seems to be perfectly ok with his granddaughter throwing herself into dangerous situations for the sake of others. Sure, later in the show Scoops figures out her identity, and I’m pretty sure Violet does too (Haven’t gotten that far yet though), and while it’s great that she has peers to confide in after all this time, she still really needs an adult in her life who can shield her from some of the sacrifices she feels forced to make.

I know this is a kids show and her being frustrated with villain interruptions is usually played up for laughs, but as an adult watching the show I can’t help but feel kinda angry on her behalf at the adults around her if I think about it too hard. Yes, she’s capable and strong, but that doesn’t mean that the adults in her life shouldn’t be protecting her anyway. Has no adult in Fair City worried about Wordgirl, the 10-year-old heroine? Has none of the local law enforcement questioned why they keep letting a 5th grader do their jobs for them?? I guess it’s in-character of cops to be incompetent and selfish, that’s definitely realistic, but what about the other adults who know Wordgirl? Hell, Sally Botsford, Becky’s own MOM, has said she sees Wordgirl almost like a daughter, but she still has little to no problem with her constantly being the city’s only defense against crime both big and small. Sure, Kid Math is now able to help out, BUT HE’S JUST A KID TOO! And Becky/Wordgirl is still doing a LOT of the work! She’s never even had a proper mentor who knew of her superheroism. Her LAST hero-mentor was fucking MISS POWER, and we all know how that turned out.

This is why I’ve been writing a fic about Becky (and Tobey because I’m a sucker for Tobecky) 15 years after canon dealing with her mixed-up feelings about her childhood and her superheroism. It must be such an angering, terrifying feeling to grow up thinking that you can’t be allowed to be a KID, to have FUN for too long, because a villain might rob a bank, or steal an artifact, or turn the city into cheese, or WHATEVER. Imagine Becky as an adult, imagine the anger she must feel, and the guilt because of that anger. Someone give this kid a hug and a proper mentor figure. And some THERAPY.

[watching-sam-and-dean-again]

Times when Supernatural Non-Villain Recurring Characters Should Have Been Smacked

I know there are a fair few fans who just love the side characters on SPN, and wanted the show to morph into some ensable monstricuty, but I could never understand it. And I really could never understand them acting like side characters are just as important (or more so) than Sam and/or Dean (let’s face it, mostly Sam 🙄). I like plenty of side characters, but some have some seriously crappy moments, so in honor of that … here is my list of characters who deserved a good smack on occasion.

John - when he didn’t come when Sam called him about Dean dying, at the end of "Home" when he didn’t reveal himself to the Boys, for not saying goodbye to Sam in some way in IMToD, and for telling Dean he might have to kill Sam (his flaws are acknowledged by the show, so I don't feel the need to elaborate)

Jo - when she blamed Sam and Dean for their dad's actions, after forcing them to bring her on a hunt in "No Exit"

Ellen - for never hugging Sam

Bobby - for looking at Sam like he’s a freak when he’s suffering hallucinations and treating Sam like trash when he has no memory of hurting Bobby while soulless in "Like a Virgin"

Castiel - calling Sam an abomination, threatening to throw Dean back into hell, acting like Sam knew what would happen if he killed Lilith (and never admitting he’s the one who let adict Sam out of the panic room), beating Dean in "Point of No Return", betraying the brothers in Season 6, breaking Sam's hell wall (he should have been killed for this, tbh), refusing to help stop the leviathan problem that was his fault … until basically forced, abandoning Dean in Purgatiry, beating the crap out of Dean … again in Season 8, for buying Metatron's BS and helping the angels fall, the way he forced Jimmy to let him posses him and essentially destroying the whole family, letting Lucifer out of the cage, blaming Sam when he himself let Lucifer out of the cage, ignoring Sam's texts when he and Dean are having a bitch fight in Season 15, not saying goodbye to Jack or Sam

Charlie - for acting like Sam and Dean are inconveniencing her when they saved her life in her first episode, for making fun of Sam having "zero luck with the ladies" as if this is a funny joke when most of the women he loved/could have loved DIED, thinking hunting isn’t "magical" enough and never taking hunting seriously, talking to Sam Fucking Winchester about hunting as if imparting wisdom and as if her experience could even touch what he’s been through

Cole Turner - for every second that he spends on screen, and using nicknames for the boys when he doesn’t even know them.

Jody - JK, I can’t actually think of anything she did that bothered me. She’s pretty good.

Becky - do I need to explain this one?

Amelia - for being a royal bitch when Sam brings the doggo in to the vet, for almost every interaction she has with Sam and being a jerk, and for commenting on completing Sam's sentences like it’s some cute thing they do when she’s the one who keeps doing it

Claire - for being stupid enough to stomp around in a strop (wearing headphones) while hunting because Sam rightfully called her childish and getting herself bit by a werewolf, for being bitchy to Alex

Jack - for killing Mary, and for waking up Castiel in the empty

Late Seasons Mary - for working with the BMoL after they tortured Sam, for telling Dean he’s not a child in the most condescending way ever, for putting literally everyone before Sam and Dean (especially the apocalypse world tools), for never actually apologizing to Sam's face (and just mentioning it once to Dean when she didn’t know Sam could hear her), for the stupid way she got in Jack's face and got vaporized

Okay, rant over for now.

If anyone read this far, what side characters (who aren’t supposed to be villains) have you wanted to smack and why?

[babydollmarauders]

MEDIA MANAGEMENT — JACK HUGHES (PART THIRTEEN)

previous: twelve

next: fourteen

y/ndevils00

liked by lhughes_06, dougieham, and 127,337 others

y/ndevils00 fair warning ‼️ if you found tuesdays post sappy, you won’t wanna see tonight’s! okay! happy scrolling!

i wanna start tonight’s postgame by saying that i cannot express how proud i am of this team! my boys, my closest friends. you ended the regular season tonight by breaking the franchise record tonight for most wins in a single season! 52 wins, baby! and breaking the record for best single season turnaround in the NHL since the league switched to the 82 game schedule with a +49 point difference! you guys are the most talented, most hardworking, and most dedicated team of people that i’ve had the privilege of meeting.

we ended this game with an overtime win, 5-4! it may have been a hard start, but you turned it around in the 3rd!

we got TWO goals by uncle u-haula tonight! a tip-in by sheriff woody! and a goal by dj dougie-h! so proud of you guys!

lukey got his very first NHL point tonight with an assist on erik’s first goal of the night and i can confirm that i shed a few tears. my pretty baby also made his 98th point tonight with an assist on haulaback girl’s second goal of the night!

however, most importantly, lukey, my smush, got his very first NHL goal tonight with the game winning goal! which was the catalyst that got us that franchise record breaking 52nd win. AND he did it with an assist from his big brother, my bubs, jacky! making lil jizzy end this season with NINETY-NINE points!

i am so proud of you, smush! you played SO well tonight and i can’t wait to see you continue to take ass and kick names! i’m so proud to be your figurative (and hopefully eventually real) big sister <3

it’s been a hell of a season! let’s go to the playoffs, boys!

tagged ehaula, miles.wood44, dougieham, lhughes_06 and jackhughes

lhughes_06 thank you squishy ❤️ if i have anything to do with it, you’ll be my sister sooner rather than later

y/ndevils00 oh don’t make me cry again, i’ll get a headache!

y/ndevils00 i’m gonna cuddle you till death!

lhughes_06 i think i’d be okay with that

jackhughes i wouldn’t

y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes this isn’t about you though, is it?

jackhughes i’m so insanely proud of you little bro! can’t wait to kill it with you for many years to come!

lhughes_06 thank you jacky! it’s a dream come true to play with you!

y/ndevils00 SHUT UP STOP MAKING ME CRY! YOU ASSHOLES!

jackhughes you wanna hear something babe?

y/ndevils00 oh god what?

jackhughes @/lhughes_06 can i tell her?

lhughes_06 go for it

jackhughes so, you know luke is giving his first goal puck to our dad. but luke asked the refs if he could keep the puck he made his first assist with, so he can give it to you

y/ndevils00 what? you’re not fucking with me are you? because jack i stg if this is a joke to you, then i’m gonna start dating trevor

jackhughes not a joke, baby

trevorzegras why was i brought into this? and jack, you’re not even concerned that she threatened that? i think your girl wants me 🤪

jackhughes @/trevorzegras oh please, you guys would rip each other’s heads off within the first 10 minutes of dating

john.marino97 back to no feature on the post but i’ll accept this one for luke

y/ndevils00 yeah, yeah. ya know i said plenty of nice things about the team! it’s not all about the pictures!

y/ndevils00 besides, you didn’t even play in this game

john.marino97 still would’ve been nice to be included >:( but thank you best friend number 3, i love you

y/ndevils00 okay let’s not get carried away here!

john.marino97 you’re insufferable

y/ndevils00 i love you too, bff number 2

john.marino97 📸

y/ndevils00 damnit!

dawson1417 thank you bff 3! love you! let’s take on the playoffs!

y/ndevils00 i love you too, bff number 1! you’re gonna smash it!

john.marino97 @/y/ndevils00 why does his “i love you” come easy?!

y/ndevils00 @/john.marino97 i like to keep you on your toes 🤭

nicohischier thank you y/n/n! so glad to have you as our media manager!

y/ndevils00 awww 🫶 you still have to do the postgame interview

nicohischier fuck

jackhughes thank you sweet girl ❤️ so insanely lucky to have you in charge of our media. without you, i don’t know where i would be these past few years. thank you for being my best friend and my girlfriend (and yes, eventually my wife, i hope)

y/ndevils00 aww lil rizzy! YOU don’t have to do a postgame interview <3

jackhughes YES! suck it, hischier! @/nicohischier

y/ndevils00 i can still change my mind. don’t push your luck baby

jackhughes sorry babe, love you!

dougieham thanks y/n! it’s been an honor to work alongside you these past 2 seasons!

y/ndevils00 so glad i was given the opportunity to get you acclimated when you joined! love ya, doug!

jesperbratt thank you y/n! 😄 i’ve had lots of fun working with you!

y/ndevils00 please let me be your personal bodyguard. nobody will ever see me coming on the ice until i cross-check them for even looking at you the wrong way.

jesperbratt that’s nice! 🤍

_quinnhughes fun fact: y/n facetimed me crying after the game because “her smush won the game”. so proud of you lukey! you’re doing amazing man! keep up the great work!

y/ndevils00 that was supposed to stay between us, quinny! hope you have a good game though, fishy!

_quinnhughes thanks, sis!

y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes HE CALLED ME SIS! DID YOU SEE THAT? DID YOU SEE THAT?!

jackhughes i did, love! i see it! so happy for you!

lhughes_06 thanks bro! love ya!

[pauls1967moustache]

What do u think of beatles fans who hate yoko? Personally, I genuinely don't understand what yoko has done to stand out in the beatles lore as a particularly heinous character in the story. Had to unfollow several authors on Tumblr bc they usually gas john up and put yoko down, like they didn't come in a set.

I don’t think anyone’s required to like Yoko but I also agree that many people seem to hate her for behaviour that they’d happily overlook from any of the Beatles. The main problem here is no one is typically joining this fandom cause they’re interested in Yoko, ykwim. They’re here because they liked the Beatles and all the lore comes after that, so naturally everyone’s going to have a bias for the boys themselves. Yoko did do some insane shit to John (and is also within the Beatles narrative in an antagonistic position to Paul) so it’s natural that people who love John will find that off-putting, even if it’s not necessarily a fair way to view her, but they never really look at the crazy shit John did to her or anyone else in the same negative way. Plus, as with any fandom, there is racism and misogyny at work.

But there’s plenty of people in this fandom who do like Yoko, which is good! I think her position in the Beatles story is so fascinating because she is in this weird confluence of like getting blamed for shit that isn’t her fault while also doing some absolutely fucked up stuff herself. She’s not an easily definable character in the lore and she’s not “relatable” the way, say, Linda is relatable, so you sort of have to do some work to make sense of her. I think my main gripe with Yoko haters is they don’t give her the grace of trying to understand her the way they do for anyone else in the Beatles story.

[letstrythisout4]

Chapter 3: Blaise Zabini and his increasing exasperating day

Series Masterlist

By the third week of school Blaise had a schedule set up. Wake up at 7am and take a run around the Quidditch pitch. (And when Quidditch season starts he has already decided he’s just going to wake up even earlier). Take a shower, get ready and make it to the Great Hall early enough to be the first person to sit down at the Slytherin table. 

The schedule is perfect. He gets to dodge his roommates, release some energy on his run, take his time getting ready to make sure he feels prepared for the day; all with enough time to make sure he gets access to all the food first so he isn’t just eating everyones leftovers. 

It’s great.

It also allows him plenty of room to switch up his schedule. Nothing major, getting up at 7 and being first at the table are non negotiable. But everything in between can be subject to change. 

Which leads to situations like today, where Blaise is heading to the kitchens for the first time in his Hogwarts career. After reading through Hogwarts : A History Blaise has come to the conclusion that the best way to get an audience with the Hogwarts elves is through the kitchen. As he approaches the infamous painting with a bowl of fruit which is said to lead to his destination, Blaise stops and for the first time wonders, “What the hell am I going to say?”.

This leads to Blaise pacing in front of the portrait for a good few minutes having an internal debate with himself.

Ok, what’s my end goal?

I want to be in their good graces.

Why?

Because they do so much for the castle and everyone is ungrateful.

…cute. What else?

…It would be nice if they would drop off my clothes when I’m there so I can organize them. How I like it, to keep it in perfect condition.

That sound so fucking pretentious. 

Well I am pretentious so what of it?

Fair.

But how am I going to word that?

I don’t know, it's probably best to just be honest and get it over wi-

“Can we help you sir?” squeaked a voice to his left.

Blaise, stiffly, turned towards the voice to find an elf poking her head out from behind the portrait. All that could be seen was her bat-like ears and large blue eyes.

“Yes, actually I was wondering if I could speak to an elf about some…request I have concerning my clothing?” Blaise choked out.

I hate this, is all Blaise could think as he watched the elf process what he just said. How could I be so stupid as to not plan this out? I always plan out my conversations, that’s what I do, I plan.

“Would you like to discuss it now or shall I find you later, sir?” 

“Now works just fine.” said Blaise doing his best to hold in his frown at the formal way she addresses him. 

“Oh well,” she muttered, clearly unprepared to have someone actually want to speak to her “ please come inside so that we can figure something out.”

Bliase followed her through the portrait and took a breath just to absorb all the wonderful smells he was suddenly surrounded by. He did his best not to stare at the way the elves were so focused and coordinated in their movements in preparation for the children they were about to serve. 

The little elf sat him down at a small table against the wall, out of the way of the mass operation commencing at the same time that Blaise came to beg for them to take special care in delivering his laundry. 

I don’t like this.

“So what I can I help you with?” she practically whispered, refusing to make eye contact.

I don’t like this.

“I’m sorry I’d just prefer if instead of putting my clothes away for me, if we could set up a time where I can take the clothes from you personally, so I can put them away myself.”

She did a slow absent blink.

“I just am really particular about how I have my personal items set up, I have systems etc. So I’d really just appreciate it if you could give me my clothes directly.”

Another blink.

I don’t like this.

You’re too deep now, you must commit.

“I’ve noticed you all tend to clean the rooms and put away the clothes between 11pm-12am every Tuesday while I’m at astronomy with the other Slytherins of my year.”

Another blink.

“So if instead you could meet me just before or after astronomy so that I can take care of it myself, that would be perfect.” 

Another blink.

Blaise whipped his palms on his slacks as covertly as he could under the table.

Why won’t she say something?

“You don’t want us to put away your clothes for you?” she mumbles with a shaky breath.

“Yes…” Blaise is starting to become incredibly worried with the condition that the elf is in.

“But everyone prefers it when we do it for them.” She now has a tone of confusion that does nothing to aid Blaise’s stress levels.

“Well I am weird in that sense, I have a bit of an obsession with organization so-” he trails off trying to find the right words “- I really appreciate all that you all do for us but if I could do this one thing for myself I would be infinitely happier.” 

Another blink.

Blaise sends her his most disarming smile.

“Okay.” she agrees as if she was winded.

“Okay?”

“Okay, what’s your name sir?”

“Blaise Zabini.”

“Well Mr. Zabini, I shall ensure to arrive 30 minutes before your astronomy class with your clothes.” she promises with wringing her hands together.

“Thank you so much…”

“Daisy.” she stammered.

“What a lovely name, thank you so much Daisy. I’ll see you then.” Blaise said quickly. 

Eager to be finished with that conversation and out of the kitchens, he walks as quickly as possible without looking rushed out of the kitchens and to the Great Hall.

I hated that.

I hated that so much.

Why the hell didn’t I plan that conversation out.

The things I do for organization, is the last thought Blaise allows himself to have before he stares at all the food before him losing his appetite entirely only being able to force down two pieces of bread with jam and a chalice of apple juice.

--------------------------------------

He sets off to History Of Magic the second he convinces himself that he’s eaten enough. He arrives beyond early, not even Binn’s is here yet. The classroom is set up the same as a muggle ‘Lecture’ classroom he visited for an abroad program in the States- though he’d never voice the comparison outloud. He takes his usual seat- he far back against the right wall to give him a perfect view of the entire classroom. Pulling out his textbook, parchment and his quills and sets himself up for today's lecture.

Blaise loves History of Magic. 

He might be the only person to have ever sat in this classroom and to have thought that unironically. And he’s fine with that. There’s something about history that has always consumed Blaise. And it seems not even Binn’s monotone voice can kill his love for the stories of the past.

And so by the time Blaise has perfected his setup, students begin to trickle in. First is a Hufflepuff girl. Blaise has seen her around before; it's practically impossible not to, considering they share 3 classes together a week, but it's more than that. She seems to not exist outside of these classes. Everyone else Blaise catches a glimpse of in the hallway or at dinner or lunch or just somewhere. But she seems to disappear the second she walks out of the classroom.

And it pisses Blaise off.

Blaise likes to think of himself as observant. He knows things about people. He can tell that despite having met only in the beginning of the year two Ravenclaw boys are already squabbling with each other. He can tell that ever since she’s demonstrated her brilliance Hermione Granger has been isolated from her house. He can tell when Flitwick is having a bad day. He can tell Pansy is getting an irritating letter from home. He can tell when Susan Bones is talking down to Anthony Goldstein despite her sweet tone.

What he can’t tell is who the hell this Hufflepuff is. All he has is a name and information gathered from his eavesdropping. Name: “Isabella Reyes”. Isabella is apparently Black and Latino, which tracks with her light brown skin and curly black hair constantly pulled into a messy ponytail. She’s a Hufflepuff. Blaise had to stop himself from exclaiming, “No shit we all wear house robes.” when he heard someone whispering it to their friend group like it was the juiciest piece of gossip ever heard. And that’s it.

That is all Blaise has gathered in the weeks since starting school.

And it keeps him up at night.

And what is most upsetting is, there is no real way to fix this.

Blaise refuses to become a stalker, eavesdropping hasn’t gained him any information, and he will not speak to her directly. 

Not even an option.

This plagues him. Far more than it should considering he’s never spoken to her. 

But just as he starts to gain momentum in his frustration Binns begins the class…and at what point everyone filled in the seats Blaise couldn't tell you.

An hour and half later, Blaise has been sufficiently distracted with information about Emeric the Evil.

That is until he runs right into the problem he needed to be distracted from, knocking her right to the floor.

Damn. Two unplanned conversations and one bad meal in a day. What have I done to deserve this? Blaise asks the Universe as he puts out his hand to help Isabella up.

“Thanks.” she says shortly as he takes his hand.

A short “a”. She pronounced “Thanks” with a short “a” sound. 

“You’re American.” Blaise states plainly, pulling her up.

 All this time and the first thing and that's the first thing I say? I don’t know what I did, but Universe I am sorry.

She looks at him like he's an idiot. “Yes, thanks for pointing that out for me.” 

They both start collecting her books and papers from the floor. Why have a school bag if you're just going to carry everything in your hands?

Blaise hovers with tense shoulders as he hands her her things to put away. Finished, she turns to leave and makes it four steps before turning back around and asking, “Can I ask you a weird question?”

“You just did.”

She was not amused with this response.

“I’m going to take that as a yes. What were you doing pacing outside the Hufflepuff common room?”

Daisy must have rubbed off on Blaise because all he could think to do was blink.

“This morning~” she taunts.

“I wasn’t pacing outside of your common room, I was pacing outside of the kitchens.”

She was quick, “Why?”

“I needed to ask for a favor from the elves?”

“Why?” 

“Because I need their help.”

“Why?”

“None of your business.” 

“You’re one to talk.”

“What's that supposed to mean?” 

“I’ve seen you people watching. I’ve seen you blend into the background and listen in on people’s conversations.”

There’s a beat.

“Incorrect, try again.”

Another beat.

“Excuse me?”

“What you are implying is factually incorrect, I don’t do any of those things on purpose. They just happen.” Blaise said confidently.

Blaise Zabini is a bold-faced liar to everyone but his mother. He has mastered the art of spouting false information with expressions varying from a straight face to the most dazzling smile anyone has ever seen. The only one who has ever seen through this is his mother, hence why he doesn’t like to lie to her. 

It's pointless to even attempt to.

The second the sentence leaves his mouth, Isabella is striding towards him. Blaise resists the urge to take a step back when she stops right in front of him. 

And then she stares. She stares right into his eyes and suddenly Blaise feels compelled to tell the truth.

Before he can even think of something to say in response to her actions she takes another step forward and this time he can’t stop himself from taking a step back.

“I know that you don’t know me yet so I’m going to let that lie slide. But for the record, I do not appreciate being lied to. I will clock any lies you tell me whether it is in the moment or after digging, but I will find out. So I strongly suggest, for the sake of your health and sanity, that going forward you are just honest to me. Either tell me the truth, or that you aren’t comfortable to talk about it or whatever logic you have behind not wanting to tell me something but do not lie. Because from now on I will not accept you looking me in my face and lying to me.”

She takes a moment to breathe “ Okay?”

“Definitely, I’m sor-”

“Don’t apologize, just don’t do it again.” 

And with that threat (?) she turns around, makes a left and is gone.

…Blaise has even more questions than he did before.

Starting with, what the hell does she mean “yet”?

Author's notes: thanks for reading

[tenebriskukris]

Oshi No Ko Chapter 145 - My Thoughts/Analysis

I have plenty of mixed feelings about this chapter, so I suppose I’ll just get on with it. Spoilers for Oshi No Ko Ch145 below.

We open up with…Crow Girl?? Her pretending to be Ruby for the movie is so adorable that I just want to pinch her cheek. And Ruby cringing at her performance despite it being completely accurate is such a mood. I bet if most people saw their child selves do something embarrassing they would internally cringe at the sight.

And Crow Girl basically serving the fact that she’s been watching Ruby and Aqua since they were kids to the reader on a silver platter. I’d wondered exactly when she took an interest in the twins, but to know that she was watching even then…Then again, she’d already appeared in the Spica novel for Goro, so I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised.

Crow Girl narration?? Finally some internality from possibly one of the most mysterious characters in the series. I’d pay good money to see what she thinks for so much of the series in general. I can only imagine what she was thinking of the events that happened just a few chapters ago…

“She doesn’t have the slightest feelings of awe.” To be fair, she was reincarnated into her idol’s child, speedrun Aqua’s revenge arc because you led her on that road, and then found out that the doctor she’d fallen in love with also got reincarnated as her brother. I think Crow Girl needs to wow Ruby more with something a bit more overtly magical if she wants that kind of reaction. Or just, y’know. Stop talking so vaguely all the time and say what she actually means to say clearly. Then again, that’s par for the course with this manga, so I can’t be too critical about it.

And then this page… Crow Girl not seeing Ruby as Ai but instead seeing Sarina. And then her reactions after that…the implications…

We cut to the next day, and yet another timeskip. I don’t understand why they just couldn’t have said that these scenes all take place one after another during the same day. Once again I have to wave the flag that the movie arc should’ve been segregated into the background of multiple other arcs instead of dumping it down our throats all at once.

Now this is a familiar callback of one of the first chapters of the manga! Crow Girl as Aqua looks so fucking smug. That cheek pulling impulse returns with a vengeance.

Kana and Ruby’s reactions to Crow Girl as Aqua are also interesting. Kana is definitely looking at the past with rose colored glasses. More mysterious and cute? I don’t recall any of that when she first interacted with the twins at all. If anything, she was quite dismissive of the two and only respected Aqua because she got humbled by his “acting”. Really, the only reason that Kana’s saying this stuff in the first place is because of her ego and because she still holds a torch for Aqua. I doubt she'd care about the quality of the actor if Crow Girl was only playing Ruby herself. 

“But you’re nothing compared to me when I was a child actor.” This is a very normal thing to say to what she thinks is a literal child. How insecure do you have to be to be threatened by the acting skills of a literal child? Of course, Crow Girl isn’t a child at all, but again, Kana doesn’t know that. Kana’s behavior when she was a child was shitty, but now that she’s an adult that is absolutely no way to act. And because she’s just supposed to be a “gag character” she’ll receive no consequences for this whatsoever. Get this bitch off my screen, this isn’t a bloody romcom.

Ruby fangirling over Crow Girl as baby Aqua is very precious. People tend to forget but she was just as much as a brocon toward Aqua as Aqua was a siscon over her. 

Aqua appearance! And he has his white star eye!!! Pack it up, shippers, it’s so Oshi no Over. I’ll be cashing out my AquaRuby stonks to live off the rest of the manga in the Bahamas.

Memes aside, it’s good to see Aqua with a single white star eye again. With how Aqua was when he’d gained his dual black star eyes, it’s refreshing to see him freer than he has been during the start of the arc. The dual black star eyes Aqua wouldn’t be this open or be cracking these jokes. Side note: Him echoing the “child prodigy” line is incredibly funny. We were so robbed in the earlier manga for twins doing cute twin things. Would it have killed the manga to have a small mini arc for the twins as they were growing up to see their dynamic better? 

Crow Girl flashback??????? WHAT IS GOING ON. 

Sarina???? Crow Girl is an actual crow, who could’ve known. And Goro???? Oh, Goro fixed up the Crow and that’s why she’s watching them both now! I don’t know why but the panels of the crow watching them both are very cute, especially the image where it’s standing out of Sarina’s window with a leaf in its beak.

Oh. It was there when-–when Sarina died. That is—well. I think it’s become very clear by reading between the lines that the entire reason that Aqua reincarnated in the first place is because of Sarina’s wish. He wasn’t brought back for revenge, but rather for the girl that loved him so much that she wanted to see him in another life. 

In hindsight, Aqua’s purpose in his new life not being vengeance also makes sense when one thinks about the circumstances of Ai’s death logically. All that stood between Hoshino Ai’s death was a single door chain. If that hadn’t happened, then the trajectory of his life would’ve completely changed and he wouldn’t have pursued revenge at all. If Ai was a bit more distracted that day and didn’t notice the doorbell ringing, if Aqua or Ruby were more clingy to Ai, if Ai had remembered the door chain, if Ichigo and Miyako had arrived early, if Ai didn’t mention her address to Hikaru, so many ifs. Ai’s death wasn’t absolute in the slightest. Him being reborn alongside Rubysarina was. The game was rigged from the start, so they say.

“To me, you guys have always been cheeky and cute children, after all.” Crow Girl = Ai real??? Much as I’d like to jump on that theory train, I doubt that it’s true considering we saw Crow Girl active while Ai was alive. But with magical beings thrown into the mix, causality’s more of a suggestion than an absolute rule, so what do I know. 

Still, for someone that’s been watching them since they were born, it’s a very cute viewpoint on the twins. She’s almost like their guardian angel, though the comparison doesn’t quite work culturally since they’re Japanese. 

This chapter gave me mixed feelings, if I’m behind honest. On one hand why oh why couldn’t this chapter be foreshadowed better? The Private Arc could’ve basically set this entire thing up so it didn’t feel like it came out of left field. Ditto with showing Crowl Girl more earlier in the manga—the Private arc’s pretty deep in the manga anyway, and Aqua and Crow Girl’s first meeting is bloody offscreen. Not exactly the best way to seed out crumbs for the supernatural so late in the game.

I did like this chapter because of what it implies, though. With Aqua’s white star eyes being present—and I suspect they’ll be present for the foreseeable future until he gets traumatized by something—as well as the fact that Crow Girl was present to hear Sarina’s final words…more and more ammunition for the shipping side of the fandom. I personally thought it was already set in stone even before the events of the previous chapters, but some people refuse to be convinced, even after the latest chapters.

But aside from shipping, it’s curious that this is the second chapter in a row we’re getting some more information on the supernatural side of things. It’s one of the few parts of Oshi No Ko that I think’s been very underutilized since the twins got reincarnated, which is a shame because I find that aspect so interesting. While I do think this chapter was kind of a cop out in giving us an explanation as to why they were reincarnated, it do believe it would’ve been better inserted within an earlier arc. Perhaps Ruby reminiscing about Goro’s kindness during the Private arc, or even earlier than that. We were so robbed of Ruby screentime so much during the earlier parts of the manga. 

One final note: Now that it’s pretty established that Crow Girl was once, well, a crow, I find it strange that she now has a physical body. Her deal with her vessel being born, as well as the mention of a mother of all things…that’s going to be relevant, because why else mention a mother if it’s not going to be relevant at all—especially after we’re already giving spotlight to the supernatural bits of the series during this arc.