#not that i’ve been avoiding it…maybe I am just too hopeful or naive
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shibe · 9 months ago
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woof
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imbadatparking · 11 months ago
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When we drove through the rain, the water hit the roof over and over, washing us in a muted silence. The repeating, uneven, patternless sound could be heard clearly, even through the rusting metal of your car’s frame. It served as an unsuccessful way to fill the tension, a backdrop of white noise against our palpable fear. Thunder rolled below us from a distance, echoing through the streets and under the car tires like an omen. The dark clouds hung low in the sky, building something more than just rain, overlapping each other and dipping just beneath the top of the treeline. 
Silence wrapped its slimy tentacles around our mouths and coated the seats and the windows. The inside of the car was stale, the kind of quiet that made everything feel heavier. The way we tried to pretend everything was okay, how we tried to hide all our secrets, what I’ve been too scared to say aloud when you can look at me. 
When we drove through the rain, your skin was close enough for me to reach out and touch, if only I wasn’t so scared. You’re closer to me than you have been in for the past two months, and yet when I look over, you seem a million worlds away. I’ve been trying to close the distance you’ve been incomprehensibly focused on making bigger. There’s a crack between us that spreads with every argument you start and every touch you pull away from. I am going in behind you with a naive hope, uselessly pouring concrete in behind you, trying to fix the irreparable damage.
I was foolish for hoping it might’ve been the beginning of redemption. I thought the muted, forced proximity of us - what we’d been trying so hard to avoid, this elaborate chess game of denial and avoidance - would make us acknowledge our problems. But maybe it only allows the opposite of what I’m wanting; you’re using it as a shield, an excuse not to look at me, like every other feeble excuse you never would’ve prioritized before the incident. The headlights paint across your lips and nose, making you look gaunt and tired. They prevent your carefully blank face from being hidden from me. 
When we drove through the rain, I tried to put onto it what we can’t find for ourselves. I’ve rendered myself helpless trying to make things better. I’ve used all my resources, given up everything, no longer own any piece of me that doesn’t belong to you - and will continue to do so. Despite your uncertainty, I will keep fighting against the intangible monster that’s taken you away from me and swallowed you whole. I won’t leave you to face it by yourself; I was here before, I’m here now, and I will continue to be here. 
Maybe we'll never find what we can’t fix for us, but you’re still here. Even though we’re in different universes, even though you’re struggling with a fight I can’t see, even though these past few months have been one inescapable tragedy after another; you’re still here. So I’ll stay. I’ll stay and wait for the rain to get worse, and I’ll weather the storm like I always do, with you by my side like you always are. 
| k. - @nosebleedclub march, xxi. clambering
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wintrwinchestr · 9 months ago
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Here are my thoughts for the new chapter that I scribbled down while actively reading so that’s why it’s a little bit all over the place. 😅
If Joel would’ve done what he did to her, to me, I would’ve probably burnt down his entire tour bus. I can understand his reasoning behind, pushing her away, but it’s like it’s still so stupid. He needs a therapy seriously. 😒
I mean, yeah I want them to work things out but for now I want her to be mad and she is which is lovely. 😊 Honestly she’s a better person than me I would go all out on him, humiliate him who cares about his sorry ass. 🤗💀 The whole scene of her saying that she has an extra song and then beginning to sing while he watches from the shadows played out in my head and it was perfect. Revenge is so delicious. Ohhh the confrontation here we go. Well, he definitely deserved to be made a fool of in front of everybody. 😈😈😈 You know I get the whole pushing people away because you want to protect them from you. Ive done that many many times but that’s just not good at least in my case it’s not the most smart choice to push people away who should’ve definitely not been treated like that.
If I am in an argument with someone and they drop this “‘S what I thought,” he huffs” I’d be throwing hands.
And as much as I hated on him so far, he’s hot and I get it. The mean streak is a big turn ahhh I’m just as fucked. My panties flew off at this line “Gonna ask one more time. You want Daddy to beat up this lil’ brat pussy?” He asks” yes I do you fuckin asshole…..”It shouldn’t feel as good as it does, getting ordered around and talked down to and used like this by someone you said you hated only a few minutes ago” been there done that and yeah, it shouldn’t feel good but it does. And the face smack Winter yessssssss I need more slapping tbh. And then more slapping came oh hell yeah 👍🏻
I hope that the story will the end somewhat good you can throw drama and angst at me in the middle, but I’m hoping for a good ending. Maybe I’m the naive one 😖
I can definitely say pretending to be something you are not in the long haul is going to hurt. One way or another this facade will crumble at some point. Now I’m afraid that Jesse’s warning might be hinting it some big angst coming, which I’m fine with but yk.
Winter this chapter was crazy good like a blockbuster. I’m honestly so glad that I found my way here, because what a shitty place would the world be if I wouldn’t know this story. 😮‍💨💗
mina i appreciate your asks and interactions so much 💖
no he very much needs therapy and you’re so true for wanting to burn down the bus like he should be lucky that all she did was write a lil diss track!!
that’s cool to hear that the whole scene played out for you while you were reading it 😁 and again you’re right it’s not the best or healthiest to push people away but he’s not necessarily the best or healthiest person 😭😭 but at least he admits it to himself
his “‘s what i thought” like he was right but he didn’t have to say it 😒😒
couldn’t help but throw in some degradation and impact play to this one bc i’m me 🤭🤭 i’m not sorry and honestly she probably wasn’t either 😭😭
i said in another ask that this might be just the beginning of their angst era… kiers and i have some big plans for these two. i’ve been avoiding hinting too much at what the ending looks like so stay tuned 👀
and lastly thank you so much for your amazing compliment at the end 🥺 i appreciate your thoughtful messages so much and thank you so much for reading 💖
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tkaulitzlvr · 10 months ago
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REGRET - T. KAULITZ
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synopsis: when a video of tom getting a little too close to another girl circulates around the internet, your confrontation sparks a heated argument between the two of you. but after tom says something in the heat of the moment, he is determined to make it up to you.
content: angst
a/n: i have risen from the dead🎀 i’m really rusty so if it‘s not up to scratch i’m sorry, ill post about why i’ve not been writing later but for now enjoy whatever this is🗣️
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my eyes are glued to the small computer screen in front of me, face twisting in disgust just a little more every time the low quality video replays. it is almost nauseating, yet i can’t turn away, fixated until my features are scrunched up in an agitating mix of anger and confusion. i am hoping that the events will change the next time the video restarts, that maybe my eyes are deceiving me, but as the same scene plays out in front of me, i quickly realise that it is real, and that my worst nightmare is coming true. not much can be distinguished - whoever had taken the video clearly hadn't payed much attention to keeping their camera still, or investing in the most high-tech gear, but i can tell that it is him. his dirty blonde dreads fall just below his shoulders, hand clutching a drink, surrounded by a crowd of girls whilst flashing lights illuminate his figure every few seconds, lighting up the bustling club before returning it to darkness. he knows that he is the centre of attention, but that doesn't seem to matter to him, his focus on the small blonde to his right.
much to my frustration, the video is only a few seconds long, showing tom leaning into the girl's ear, whispering something before pulling back, a smirk etched upon both their faces. it quickly cuts off just as his hand brushes along her arm, leaving much to be imagined - far too much. though this is probably for the best, watching another second of my boyfriend touching another girl would probably drive me close to insane - if i haven't already reached that point. i can't tell when the video was taken, but it is clearly recent, most likely from one of his tour after parties. he had arrived home last week, and i had been naive enough to miss him - until now.
i hurriedly rush to turn the computer off, sure that i will throw up if i have to watch that video one more time, its existence torture for me as i question how to go about this. tom is totally oblivious, having left for the studio this morning. however as each second passes, i realise that he will be home any minute, long before the anger that courses through my veins has any chance of burning out. my jaw is clenched, breathing heavy and eyes bloodshot as they fight tears, focusing on the blank wall ahead in an attempt to hold them back. the silence is peaceful, an almost laughable contrast to the chaos that echoes within my mind, thousands of unanswered questions racing through it as i am just about ready to pack my bags and never come back, sure that i have seen enough - and the only explanation is that tom has cheated on me.
but when the front door opens, i am trapped, any plans of escaping now far out of reach as tom's soft voice sounds from downstairs.
"baby? i'm home, where are you?" he almost sounds excited to see me, and on any other day, my heart would melt. but today, it twists with dread, feeling as if it has been ripped out of my chest and stepped on. i stay put, maybe because i know the capabilities of my mind, and its tendency to place me in uncomfortable situations, or perhaps it is the nagging in my chest convincing me to delay any conversation with him for as long as is physically possible.
the realisation that i can't avoid him forever comes much faster than i had anticipated. the dull thud of his footsteps trudging up the stairs are enough to capture my attention and pull me out of whatever trance i am subject to. my back falls back against the bed, shoulders slacking with the intent of looking as relaxed as possible, even if the current situation is the exact opposite. i wince when his presence makes itself known, attempting to conceal the uneasy look settling across my face.
"schatz, there you are." there’s no ill intent in his voice. infact it is sickly sweet, laced with an all-too innocent sense of security that on any other day would gravitate me towards him. this part of his day, when he would trudge into bed tiredly, was reserved just for me, for us, and it was something that we both looked forward to. but now it has fizzled out on my end, an excruciating discomfort habituating in its place, becoming harder to ignore with each passing second. the seemingly rigid walls into tom’s heart visibly crumble as he lets his guard down, his tired frame sinking into the soft mattress.
he leans his head against my arm, the limb tensing slightly in response to his touch. it feels wrong. how many other women felt him this close? the thought alone brings a sharp stab to my chest, its non-existent blade twisting within at the almost sickening idea of the same hands touching anybody else. with difficulty, i lift my arm up, heaving it to rest loosely across my torso. from the rigidness of my movement, tom senses that something isn’t right. whether it be impulse or a craving to feel me against him, he readjusts himself, grasping at any opportunity to weave himself even closer, my stiff demeanour offering him the upper hand.
the concept of control seems completely out of grasp now. although unaware, tom tears every remnant of serenity from my still frame, forcing me to follow his gaze and finally look into those eyes. his lips tug into a soft smile at the eye contact, pointer finger aimlessly grazing my lips. though emotionless, he appears to miss the look on my face, far too occupied with his own desires, no matter how light-hearted they seem.
“you have no idea how much i’ve missed you.” he mumbles against me, but when i dodge the kiss that he tries to place on my cheek, he finally pulls himself out of his selfish trance and realises that things aren’t as perfect as he had thought.
"hey, give me a kiss." his voice boarders the waters of hurt and confused, eyebrow furrowed with his eyes scanning my own desperately. when i don’t respond, he misjudges my silence for compliance, leaning downward to plant a soft kiss onto my lips. i don't reciprocate, remaining motionless, eyes wide open as he wraps his arms around me. he presses his lips harsher onto mine, desperation the clear motivator of his hurried movements. it quickly fades into concern when he realises the still lips that his own try to move against. breaking apart and surrendering his desire, he finally captures the hurt etched upon my expression, eyes trailing off into the blank wall behind him. he remains on top of me, his hand reaching to cup my cheek gently, the touch providing the exact opposite of consolation - instead allowing the bitter taste of resentment to settle along my tastebuds in place of his tender kiss. another woman felt those hands against her.
"look at me. what's wrong? did i do something?" his eyes scan mine desperately, feverishly attempting to fathom reasoning for my sudden standoffishness, all whilst his thumb rubs slow and soft circles along my cheek, an action which doesn't go unnoticed.
"did you think i wouldn't find out?" my jaw clenches, eyes narrowing as i finally push his body away. his confusion only intensifies as he collects himself as quickly as he can, scrambling to stand up and reduce our distance once again. his figure towers over mine, clearly failing to grasp the hint that i practically throw at him. if my actions aren’t able to spell it out for him, my words make what i want crystal clear.
“don’t touch me.”
though subtle, i notice the way he winces at my words, choosing to let them go for the time being. "what? baby what are you talking about? find out about what?" his chest rises up and down, expression totally readable, so much that i can sense his every thought, and it is terrifying. each second of silence thickens the already heavy air, so much that a heaviness begins to set in my chest.
i say nothing, instead walking toward the computer and switching it on. the screen lights up, the all too familiar video resuming from the point that i had left it. i grit my teeth, tempted to punch the screen and tom, both ideas becoming increasingly appealing. i turn to face him, remaining calm in spite of all brutal urges screaming out from within me, deciding to put them to bed.
"see for yourself. i'm sure you'd love a reminder of your little fling. she's very pretty, i'll give you that." his mouth opens to say something, quickly shutting with the realisation that he doesn’t have any words - none that would make the situation any better, anyway.
"shit, the paparazzi." he mumbles under his breath, massaging his temples a couple times before shutting the computer off, his eyes darkened as an unrecognisable look takes over. “schatz that isn't what it looks like, i promise you-"
"really? so i haven't just witnessed by boyfriend cheat on me with some blonde whore? you tell me you missed me? you seem to have got on swell without me.” my instinctive sarcasm soon burns out, replaced with an unexpected sadness, one that makes it next to impossible to remain composed.
"jesus christ. i wouldn't ever cheat on you. i don't even know who she is, georg said that he knew her so we let her hang out with us for the night. nothing happened, nothing at all. i love you and only you." he begins to get more defensive, voice raising slightly as he tries once again to move closer to me, an effort that even he knows is futile.
"what so you whisper in everyone's ear like that? you touch everyone's arm like that? you smile at everyone like that? i’m not as stupid as the whores you take to bed.” his excuses are almost laughable, and if my heart didn't feel so heavy with the realisation that he hasn't stayed faithful, i would probably laugh. my composure is deceptive, this soon coming to light with the coming of tears along my waterline.
"no, baby, please don't cry." he starts, protective instincts taking over in spite of the situation, his own eyes becoming glassy. when i shoot him a glare he knows to step back, though it is clear he wants nothing more than consoling me, as he usually would. now it is different, when he is the fuse that ignites this entirely fucked up situations "look, that's the only time i spoke to her the whole night. we were making a joke about georg, that's all."
"you must be kidding." my brows raise, searching his eyes for any hint of amusement, quickly understanding that he is being completely serious, this realisation only angering me more. “you know what? i’m leaving.” i attempt to move past him, struggling to progress even a few steps forward when he grabs my wrist, pulling me back in front of him. he is far too strong for me to put up a proper fight, but that doesn't stop me from trying my body tenses as i pull back, his grip only tightening, proving my efforts as worthless.
"can you just listen to me? i get that it looks bad but you're really overreacting here. Ive told you that nothing happened, why can't you just trust me?" he is no longer sympathetic. instead, his voice holds an anger within it that takes me aback slightly, his change in persona almost frightening. though his sudden defensiveness only alerts my suspicions more, silently reaffirming the fact that he has cheated, even if his words tell otherwise.
"trust you? fucking trust you? i have trusted you! and look where its gotten me. do you know how hard it is to have your boyfriend leave for months? no contact besides from a ten minute call every day, not a kiss, a hug, nothing! and this is what i see from your tour. what the fuck am i supposed to do with that?" i raise my voice, its harshness mirroring tom's as i finally manage to writhe myself out of his grip, now standing a few feet away from him. he clenches his jaw, looking to the side as silence takes over, its presence only brief however, soon destroyed by the sound of his voice, far louder than it had been through the course of the argument.
"i'm sorry that i don't have a normal career, okay? i've told you so many times that i don't have eyes for anyone else. every single night on tour i go back to the hotel early, because i miss you! and you can't even trust me!" he stops suddenly, almost as if he is contemplating his next words, enduring a silent battle between his mouth and his heart, knowing that both are leading him in different directions. i wait for his response, noticing the way that his expression darkens, eyes refusing to meet my own.
"well? that's all you have to fucking say? you seemed pretty comfortable with her. do you know how much that hurts? why am i not good enough for you?"
"stop it. you know you're good enough for me. don't say shit like that." he is quick to cut me off, his voice laced with disbelief, clearly failing to understand how i could come to such a conclusion.
"do i? seeing shit like that pretty much reminds me why i'm not-"
"look, maybe if you weren't such an insecure bitch then this wouldn't be a problem!" my face drops, lips parting slightly as i pray that my ears deceive me, creating their own truth, one distorted and far from reality. i stay silent, far too astounded to produce any witty comeback, or even look into his eyes. the silence between us is louder than any words spoken, and even more painful than those left unsaid. when i quickly take a glance at him, he realises his mistake just as fast as he had spoken. regret flashes across his face, his expression softening as he walks toward me. i nod slowly, far too defeated to argue back, wrapping my arms around my small frame and walking past him, my entire body shaking slightly as i sob.
"fuck- i didn't mean that. i'm so sorry, god i'm sorry baby." he spews out incoherent apologies, though i am far too hurt to comprehend them, instead tuning them out as i walk out of the room, closing the door harshly behind me.
it doesn’t take long for him to follow, his hurried pleas sounding from behind me. i am far too angry to listen, rushing down the stairs and into the hallway, scrambling for the nearest pair of shoes that i can find. his rambling quickly turns from frantic to desperate when he picks up on the reality of the situation, soon understanding that we are far beyond a kiss and an apology to resolve this.
“wait, hold on schatz. can we please talk about this? don’t leave me, please. i love you so much.” he tries to conceal the small sob that escapes his lips, but i notice it, the almost inaudible sound enough to make me reconsider my choices. but when his arm wraps around my wrist, though not with enough pressure to hurt, i know that forgiving him would be stupid.
“let go of me. i’m leaving for a while. do whatever you want, i don’t care.” my voice is surprisingly calm, the coarseness within it somehow washing away with each shallow breath i take. but the softness of my tone doesn’t match the strength of my movements as i yank myself from his grasp, reaching for my keys and clutching the door handle before he can stop me. i hesitate for a moment, taking a second to look back at him as he continues to spew out his apologies, mixed with incoherent promises that he loves me, along with his own tears that begin to fall from his eyes.
“bye tom.”
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please come home, i’m so sorry - 8:35pm
baby? - 8:35pm
i love you so much - 8:36pm
i promise i didn’t cheat - 8:36pm
can we talk about this? - 8:37pm
please tell me you’re safe - 8:39pm
sure, tom and i had arguments just as every couple did. but when i showed up at my best friend’s house, makeup smudged and eyes bloodshot, she knew that this one was more than just a disagreement on who’s turn it was to make dinner. it was obvious that she had questions, but my delirious state was enough of a motive to save those for another time, instead choosing to rush me inside and wrap me up in blankets on her small couch, insisting that we order takeout and watch movies until i calmed down.
“he’s still texting you?” she questions, referring to my phone vibrating yet again, as it had been for the past hour. i nod my head weakly, body sprawled across her couch, shuffling over to make room for the small brunette beside me. she offers a sympathetic smile, handing me a pint of ice cream and sinking into the cushions.
“i’m sorry.” she says, reaching over and pulling me into a hug, noticing the glassy sheet that forms over my eyes, squeezing me even tighter. “boys are assholes.”
i nod in agreement, hearing my phone vibrate once again, this time not even taking the time to look at the message. they had gotten pretty predictable as they became more frequent - either telling me that he loves me, or that he wants me to come home.
“you’re welcome here as long as you need, okay?” she fills in the silence, recognising that all i need is consolation right now, creating a conversation not on the top of my list of priorities. i mutter a small thank you, feeling my eyes becoming heavy.
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the beginning of a new day somehow intensifies the feeling within the pit of my stomach, the exact opposite of what i expected from a fresh start. now that i have settled down, the reality of it all feels like a fresh wound, one that i can’t envision myself ever healing from. though any time to endeavour into the complex puzzle of my emotions is drowned out by the all too familiar sound of my phone vibrating, and this time i have lost every ounce of self-control, reaching over to the small device embarrassingly fast. the bright light emitting from the screen causes my eyes to squint as i adjust, vision slowly clearing to reveal at least a hundred unread text messages, each one from tom. my sympathetic nature gets the better of me, a wave of guilt taking over as his messages spring from concerned, to apologetic, to borderline insane at my disappearance. i groan internally, quickly realising that i can’t hide forever, no matter how much i convince myself that it is the safer option.
luckily the task of getting myself ready to go back home isn’t a particularly long one. my jeans begin to dig into my sides, a rather unpleasant yet convenient reminder that i am still wearing the same clothes as the day before. quiet snores from the bedroom alert me to sleeping body of my friend, a small chuckle leaving my lips at the sound. i decide against disturbing her, instead scribbling a messy note and sticking it on the fridge, hoping that she’ll understand.
- going back home, thank you for all ur help. i’ll keep you updated, love you
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the house is silent as i enter it, the lack of noise almost eerie though short lived when i place my keys on the table, the metal clattering with a small thud. there is no sign of tom, not even the sound of a tv from the living room, or the quiet sizzle of fresh food, indicating that he is making breakfast as he would every morning. though it seems that i hadn’t entered as quietly as i had hoped, the sound of tom’s steps, quick and erratic, echoing from the kitchen, getting louder and louder until he is standing in front of me.
our distance is temporary, quickly diminished as he takes me into his arms, pressing his lips against mine with as much strength as he can muster. i only realise just how anxious he has been when his palms cup my cheeks. they are shaking, the skin cold against my own as his entire body begins to tremble, my stomach sinking. he is crying. in spite of his vulnerability, he is the first to pull away, firmly wrapping his arms around my frame and hugging me tightly.
“god i love you, i love you so much. i thought you weren’t coming back.” he struggles to get his words out, a mixture of incoherent sobs and quiet sniffles accompanying his speech. his grip only tightens, hands running up and down my back as he repeatedly kisses my hair, tears continuing to fall down his cheeks. my arms remain firmly by my side, sympathetic enough to allow him this small touch, yet no where near as forgiving to consider returning the act.
“are you okay?” he becomes worried, putting his emotions aside and finally separating his body from mine. his calloused fingers run over the smooth skin of my arms, looking for any sign of harm. even though he knows me well enough to guess that i had gone somewhere safe, his protective instincts kick in, convincing him that the worst has happened.
“i’m fine.” i mumble, releasing myself from his grip and walking into the kitchen, taking a glass and pouring myself some water, my throat dry from the strain on my voice from the night before. he quickly follows behind, taking my hand in his. he notices my hesitation, running a thumb over the back of my hand in an attempt to soothe me, and somehow, it works. seeing him in front of me brings back memories of last night, their sting still painful and effects strong with the irritating onset of tears. tom sees this just as fast as i do, reaching upward to wipe them before they are able to fall.
“i’m sorry, i’m so sorry beautiful.” he whispers, his touch so gentle i almost don’t feel it. he replaces his thumb with his lips, kissing just below my eyes, damp with evidence of my upset.
“how could you?” i mumble, voice barely above a whisper as i struggle to make eye contact, tom’s own gaze pained. his eyes are bloodshot, cheeks red and blotchy and entire body still trembling slightly. his face softens at my question, and silence takes over for a few moments.
“i know. i know how it looks. i shouldn’t have gotten so close to her, not when i have you. but i promise you that i didn’t cheat. you’re everything i want and i’d be an idiot to throw that away. you have to believe me baby.” his voice begins to break, thumb running across my cheek and eyes staring into mine, scanning desperately for any sign that i am convinced. it isn’t the most detailed nor thought out explanation, but i know him enough to see that he is telling the truth.
“okay.” i nod my head and look to the floor, swallowing harshly in an attempt to calm my shallow breathing. his fingers come underneath my chin, gently pulling it upward so that i am facing him again. the pain is still there, regret etched upon his expression as seeing the woman he loves in such a state hurts him just as much as me leaving. he takes me in his arms, lifting me up and gently kissing me again. this time i reciprocate, a small sob leaving his lips as he recognises this, his hold on me only getting tighter. the previous lack of contact had affected more than i had realised, the small reassurance of my kiss enough to crumble his usually calm temperament.
“i love you.” he whispers against me, his lips bitter with the taste of tears. that doesn’t matter to me. pressing my mouth to his as harshly as i can, my arms wrap around his neck, bringing him in even closer. he holds me so tightly, like i may slip away, the fear of losing me all too real. my small hands cup his cheeks, attempting to deepen the kiss, though doing so unsuccessfully as his voice vibrates against me. he sounds broken, his request coming out as a desperate plea, cut off by a short sob. “please say it back. you haven’t this whole time and i-”
“i love you too.” i mumble against his lips. he holds me even tighter, something which i didn’t think was possible. but considering the realms of possibility is an activity for another day. i have no time to consider anything as he kisses me once again, his touch addictive, and more than enough to make me forget everything.
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mellowswriting · 4 years ago
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I saw that requests are open! would it be possible for you to write a follow up to Second Chances with javi and reader? Maybe you have another kid and this time javi is able to be there for you throughout the whole pregnancy, and get to experience the first kick, you giving birth, etc (I am a sucker for domestic!javi if you can't tell haha) I think it would be really cute!!
From the Beginning
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pairing || Javier Peña x afab!Reader
summary || Javier gets to experience the chaotic excitement of welcoming a new baby to the family.
word count || 6,466 
warnings || kid fic, pregnant reader, non-graphic childbirth, some spiciness but no smut, dad!Javi being adorable 
a/n || I can’t even express how much I love writing about the boys as dads, especially Javier! I really hope you all enjoy this, it was so very much fun to write.
Main Masterlist  |   Join the taglist!
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Early spring mornings always had a special quality about them. The air was never too hot, pleasantly warm with a hint of a cool breeze that still lingered from winter’s sharp grip. Plants were beginning to bloom, the trees regaining their bright green foliage that ruffled in a symphony with every pass of the wind. Spring was the bringer of warmth after the ice and snow, the nurturer that coaxed seeds to sprout and flourish, the guide for new life and hope.
Ironic, then, that those very qualities you had grown to love were the ones causing you so much inner turmoil that you couldn’t even enjoy the gorgeous morning happening around you. You hadn’t even realized what was happening at first. Mother nature hadn’t exactly gifted you with a cycle that could be easily followed and predicted. Instead you had the supreme pleasure of having to carry around menstrual products everywhere you went and having to replace your underwear far more often than usual. So when you went two months without the waves of cramps and frustration of your period, it wasn’t all that remarkable.
It was when you were doing some last minute grocery shopping the night before that you realized something was off. Well, more off than usual. The sight of the shelves of tampons made your stomach bottom out with realization. You must’ve made quite a sight as you stood in that aisle with a cart half full of food, just staring at tampons with dread. Two boxes of pregnancy tests got tossed in with the various other items in your cart and you hoped that Javier was too tired from work to insist he help you put away the groceries.
For once, the universe appeared to be on your side. Your husband was sitting on the floor with Elianna, a spread of coloring books and crayons scattered on the living room carpet, and he actually listened to you when you waved him off to carry the bags in yourself. The tests were tucked away in the bathroom behind your tampons - ironic, yes, but it was the one place Javier really wouldn’t be poking around.
Honestly, a part of you felt bad for not telling Javier right away. He had more than proven himself as a great father and husband in the nearly two years since he returned to your life. Those irrational little fears of him leaving you and little Ellie had been crushed into nothing in the wake of the role he readily took on with his daughter, but this was different. Maybe it was pretty naive of you to not have that conversation with him, but it was something you thought you still had time for.
The plus sign on the pregnancy tests told you the time for that conversation was now, apparently. You were grateful for the timing of your little realization. Saturday mornings saw the standing trend of your sister whisking Ellie away for some ‘auntie and niece time’, and you really didn’t want her to feel the tension you were carrying. She was such a perceptive little girl that had an eye for everything.
Javier was still asleep. You usually slept in with him on the weekends, but you were restless to find out if your period was just pulling a fast one on you or if you actually were pregnant. Now you had four positive tests sitting in front of you and a sleeping husband who you couldn’t decide whether or not to wake up. Luckily, you ended up not having to make that choice since two sharp raps of his knuckles against the bathroom door snapped you out of your trance.
The door opened a millisecond after you snatched up the tests and hid them behind your back, not so unlike Ellie when she was hiding a treat she wasn’t supposed to have yet. The difference was that you didn’t know if this would be a treat to Javier. He was still half asleep, his thin pajama pants slug low on his hips and his eyes squinted against the bathroom light.
“G’morning,” He grunted as he moved to shuffle past you. “Move over, I gotta piss.”
You were rooted to the spot, though, your brain floundering to gain control of your muscles. “Uhm…”
“What’s wrong?” Javier slowly perked up through his sleepy haze at the realization that you looked downright terrified. He put his hand on your bicep and squeezed slightly. “Is Ellie okay?”
“What? No, yeah, Ellie’s fine. She’s with Amelia.” You spluttered, cringing at your inability to function.
“Then why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost?” Javi pressed. There really wasn’t any hiding things from him. Ellie must get that sharp eye of hers from her father. “What are you holding behind your back?”
You tried to swallow down the thickness that enveloped your throat to form some sort of words, literally anything to convey to him what the hell was going on, but your body was seized with fear. So you held out the tests wordlessly. His eyebrows furrowed as he took the bundle of tests from your hand, staring at them with a split second’s confusion before it dawned on him. “This…? You…?”
“Yeah.” You whispered. The worry in your voice must’ve been obvious because Javier was on you in a second flat, his arms crowding you into his chest with a crushing strength.
“You’re pregnant?” Javier croaked into your neck and the dam of emotion in your chest crumbled. His voice was full of excited disbelief, and relief crashed over you.
“Yeah, I am.” You said with a tearful chuckle, winding your arms around him to burrow yourself even further into his chest. “I know we never really talked about having another kid but… is this something you want, Javi?”
“Fuck, this is ironic.” Javier laughed quietly and when you looked up at him, he avoided your eyes with an almost bashful look. “I was gonna ask you today if you ever thought about it. Do you have any idea how many times I went over it in my head?”
You couldn’t help it - you cracked up laughing. The whole thing was almost ridiculous - the both of you worrying despite wanting the exact same thing. Tears of relief and laughter soaked into his t-shirt as you both broke into chaotic laughter, fingers clutching at each other’s shirts as you tried to catch your breath.
“So, uh… are we doing this?” Javier sounded nervous, his hands rubbing up and down your back as if to reassure himself. “You really wanna have a baby with me? Again?”
“Yeah.” Your voice was choked with a tense mix of emotions, so you cleared your throat and tried again. “Yeah, I do.”
“I can’t… fuck, I can’t believe you - you’d… thank you.” He babbled, nearly unintelligible in his scramble to convey how fucking grateful he was, but you knew. It wasn’t the first time you had heard the desperate need to spit words he couldn’t really find, the words that matched the swell of emotions in his chest that still wasn’t used to voicing. “Fuck, Ellie’s gonna be such a good big sister.”
That choked you up more than you expected. She really would be, you knew that for a fact, but it was a dream you had boxed up and shoved on a shelf with all your other unrealistic dreams for your future. Never in your life did you let yourself really think you could have the whole package deal - the loving (albeit gruff) husband, the big house, the sound of little feet chasing each other through the halls…
“Wait, how long have you been…? Or do we have to see a doctor first? Oh shit, we have to find a doctor for you, what the fuck are they called..? A fucking... obstetrician!” Javi rambled in a mix of nerves and excitement, breaking from your embrace to pace the length of the bathroom. “How are you feeling? Are you okay? Is there anything I can do to help, because -”
“Javi, breathe!” You calmed him with both hands out to stop his walking and braced your hands on his shoulders to rub at him firmly. “We have plenty of time, okay? Let me go make some coffee for you and we can sit down and make a plan. First, didn’t you have to go to the bathroom?”
“Oh… yeah.”
----------
Javier couldn’t stop bouncing his knee. It was a subconscious thing, something he stopped the moment he realized but soon found it moving of its own volition all over again. He really was trying not to let his nerves show even though he knew that you could tell. It was all so new to him, which wouldn’t be a problem if the reminder didn’t gut him every goddamn time. He couldn’t imagine how alone you must have felt the first time around when you were pregnant with Elianna, especially in these cold, sterile doctors offices.
His grip tightened on your hand. The feeling of your fingertips pressed against the top of his hand kept him grounded, helped him remind himself that there was no going back and changing everything else that happened. All he could do was be there this time around, be the best version of himself that he could be for you and his kid - well, kids now. Plural. The excitement was almost enough to drown away the guilt. Javi really could barely believe that he was getting the privilege of experiencing this with you.
“I’ve seen files on drug lords shorter than all that.” Javier nodded at the pile of forms and paperwork you held in your lap and you laughed brightly. He preened a little at the sound. It was something he could never get enough of, that laugh of yours. “I love you.”
You looked up at him, the pen in your hand stopping its constant scratching for the first time in forever, and gave him a lopsided smile. “I love you, too.”
There was no way he wasn’t going to kiss you after that adorable little display. Your cheek felt soft against his palm and the little sigh of relief you huffed against him was addictive. Just knowing that he was an anchor for you made Javier feel so incredibly loved and important and all he wanted to do was imbue you with that same sense of security. He held you close, his hand slipping back to the back of your neck to keep you right where he wanted you, and gave you those soft little kisses that never failed to make you melt.
“Mrs. Peña?” A nurse called out and he had no choice but to let you go with one last peck against your lips. He followed you and the nurse into the exam room, nerves and excitement soaring even higher in his chest.
It was kind of fascinating, watching you answer the nurse’s barrage of questions. Questions about your medical history, how many pregnancies you’ve had, all about your menstrual cycle. The two of you went back and forth for at least fifteen minutes, tossing questions and answers back and forth like a tennis match. The nurse left with the promise of the doctor being in momentarily for an ultrasound.
“Come hold my hand?” You asked, and how could he deny such a sweet request?
“Of course,” He pulled a chair from across the room and settled himself next to the exam table, both of his hands wrapping around one of yours as he brought it up to his lips to kiss your knuckles. “So what happens now?”
“The doctor will give me an ultrasound. She’ll probably want to run some blood tests, too.” You sighed, obviously uncomfortable at the thought of needles.
“I’ll hold your hand then, too.” Javier promised.
“It’ll be good practice for you, ‘cause once I’m in labor I’ll probably break your hand.” You teased and yeah, broken fingers didn’t sound all that great but fuck, he was more than ready to let you do just that. Javier wanted to be your rock, wanted to support you through it all - especially since he couldn’t the first time.
Two quick knocks sounded against the door made Javier straighten up hastily. The doctor came in with a smile and a large machine wheeling in behind her. “Good morning, mom and dad! How’re we feeling?”
“All good here, Dr. Hall. A little nauseous, but still… good.” You gave Javier’s hand a little squeeze before letting go to unbutton your jeans and fold the waistband down, followed by pulling the hem of your shirt up. It was hard to believe that the beginning of an entire new life was right there between your hips.
“Good to hear!” Dr. Hall fiddled with the ultrasound machine for a moment before turning to you. “So today we’re going to take a look and find out how far along you are, make sure mom and baby both look healthy, okay?”
“Okay,” You and Javier said in unison, and he took your hand again, needing to feel you there with him.
The gel must’ve been cold based on the way you hissed slightly. Javier watched the screen as Dr. Hall trailed the wand over your belly, lips parting at the sight of the black and white image. It was hard to make out what exactly he was seeing at first, but the image shifted slightly and he could make out the tiniest, vague shape of the newest edition to his little family.
“It looks like you’re about ten weeks along.” Dr. Hall murmured without taking her eyes off of the screen. “Baby is about the size of a plum.”
Javier squeezed your hand lightly, the both of you sparing a glance at each other before staring back at the screen in wonder. The doctor pointed out the baby’s head and a little foot as she took her measurements, reassuring you both that everything looked perfect. He gave a rushed “yes, absolutely” when she asked if he wanted the ultrasound photos - there was a spot in his wallet that he had in mind for it already.
It wasn’t as if he hadn’t been in situations that left him shocked before. This was Javier Peña, after all. Life and career experiences had given him plenty of moments where his mind was completely washed blank with surprise, but never had it been such a good thing. There were so many times that the shock was accompanied by grief or anger, but excitement? Gratefulness? That was new to him, left him reeling the entire drive home, all throughout dinner. Something in the back of his mind nagged at him that he couldn’t be like this when Ellie got home the next day. She was smarter than he could’ve imagined any kid being at three years old and even though he agreed with your assertion that no one should know about your pregnancy for a few more weeks at least, Javier was certain his daughter would be able to needle it out of him.
Those expert interrogation skills must be hereditary.
It wasn’t until he was getting ready for bed that it really hit him how real it was, that you really were sitting in the bed you shared with him, pregnant with his baby and making plans for the usual Sunday brunch and park visit you all did every week. As he set his wallet on the nightstand, he couldn’t help but pull out the little ultrasound picture. He had a feeling he would be doing that a lot, especially when the new cadets were driving him crazy at work. It all swelled up in his chest, the appreciation and excitement and disbelief, because holy shit, how did he get so lucky? One finger traced the little image in his hand, and he couldn’t help but blurt out, “Thank you.”
The confused look you gave him made him flounder for the words.
“I just… I know everything was fucked up the first time around but I swear, it’s going to be different this time. I am not going anywhere.” Javier slid closer at the sight of the tears in your eyes, easily welcoming your arms around his neck as you practically drug yourself into his lap. He held you close to his chest, trying to instill the certainty and promise of it all. “God, fuck, and I thought I couldn’t get enough of you before…”
“Javi…” You croaked, laughing wetly into his neck.
“I’m serious! You’re gonna have to tell me to fuck off when you want space because I can’t keep my hands off you.” Javi teased, relief washing over him at your seeming acceptance of his promises. “And now like this, growing my baby… fuck, I am in this with you. Me and you and Ellie… and our little plum.”
That night, Javier fell asleep with his head on your shoulder, his face buried in your neck, and his hand tucked into the waistband of your sweatpants to cradle that precious space that held his newest child.
----------
Ellie couldn’t stop touting her new title to anyone who would listen.
“I’m a big sister!” She told the cashier at the grocery store, the other kids at the park and their moms for good measure, and even the mailman when they came by each morning. The brightness in her eyes when she said it made your heart flip in your chest. You had expected some sort of confusion or even for her to be upset at the idea of a new sibling, but she launched right into a story about how her friend from playgroup has a baby sister, and you knew that she would be just fine.
With your sixteenth week rapidly approaching, you couldn’t be more grateful that Ellie was excited for the new addition to the family. It was one less thing for you to worry about amidst the chaos of bringing a new person into the world. The fatigue was something you definitely didn’t miss about pregnancy - it washed over you without warning, left you nodding off wherever you sat. Thank god Javier was such a hands on father. He had no problem herding Ellie off into the backyard or off for a walk to let you get some much needed rest.
You hadn’t expected him to be such a hands on husband, though. Sure, you knew he was excited and you knew he already loved everything about your body, but he really wasn’t lying when he said pregnancy made him want you even more. Every night, Javi’s hands gravitated to your body to ease the kinks out of your muscles, to rub your feet until the aches went away, to cheekily offer you an orgasm if you were up for one. It made you feel cherished, something you sorely missed the first time you were pregnant.
“Thank you, Javi,” You groaned lowly as those strong hands of his worked at your lower back. He easily hitched your thigh up slightly to ease some of the pressure on the new swell to your belly. There was a slur in your voice when you said, “Feels so good.”
Javier chuckled behind you, moving on to rub your feet. “Be quiet, you don’t want to wake Ellie.”
“Did you ever see this being our life?” You murmured though your voice was muffled by the pillows you buried your head in. “Telling each other not to wake the kids, making bacon smiley faces for a toddler’s breakfast?”
“I didn’t think I’d actually get it, but I wished for it. Dreamt about how pretty you’d look all full of me.” Javi placed a teasing kiss to the inside of your thigh. “The real thing is so much better.”
You could only groan under his praise. His thumbs dug into the arch of your foot and rubbed in methodical circles, drawing another pleased groan from you that you muffled in your pillow. The pain slowly melted from your tired muscles under his thorough ministrations, leaving a pleasant warmth in his wake that made you all pliant and drowsy beneath him.
“How are you feeling, sweetheart?” Javi asked as he rubbed his hands up your calves and you smiled. You knew exactly what he was gunning for.
You eased yourself onto your back and reached out for him with both arms, bringing him forward with grabby hands that he could never refuse. Javier settled between your thighs, a knowing smirk on his face, and leaned down to kiss you deeply. “‘M feeling good, Javi.”
“You know I love making my girl feel good,” Javi murmured as he kissed down your neck, one hand trailing back and forth over your hip and thigh lovingly. “Can I make you feel even better?”
“Please?” You asked breathily and your husband was more than happy to oblige. The loose tank top you wore was the first to go, followed quickly by your shorts and underwear.
Javier set about lavishing your neck and chest with affection, his touch more gentle than usual on your oversensitive breasts, and once again you were struck by the surrealness of it all. The fact that this had begun in Colombia all those years ago as two coworkers using sex for stress relief and had blossomed into this beautiful life you shared together was a thing of dreams. But there you were, with Javier Peña making love to you, quietly as to not wake your daughter and gently as to keep you and your baby safe and happy, and you could barely believe it.
“I love you,” You choked out through the tears that sprung into your eyes and Javi sat up to look at you with a concerned expression.
“What? What’s wrong?” He asked, his eyes roaming all over to find the apparent source of your tears.
“Nothing’s wrong.” You tried to pull him back down to you but he didn’t budge, the concern unwavering.
“Then why are you crying?” Javier brushed a thumb under your eyes to wipe away the evidence of your strong burst of emotion.
“Because I love you,” You chuckled as you held his hand close to your cheek and pressed a kiss to the middle of his palm. “And I’m pregnant, so everything is a thousand times more intense and you don’t get to tease me for that.”
“I would never,” Javi muttered but the mischievous grin on his face betrayed him. “Let me make you feel better, baby,”
“I’m already better, Javi - oh,”
----------
Two o’clock in the morning was not an ideal time to wake up, especially since Javier knew that Ellie would be awake and full of energy by seven, but something felt off. Even in his unconscious state, he could feel the absence of you in bed and his mind nagged at him to get up and find you. The hardwood was cold beneath his feet as he wandered from the bedroom, finding the bathroom empty before he made his way down the stairs. You often would rest on the recliner in the living room when your back was bothering you particularly bad, especially since your center of gravity had so drastically changed the further along you got in your pregnancy - but you weren’t there either.
Before Javi could start really worrying, he heard the refrigerator open and found you peering into the illuminated fridge in search of… something. A pint of ice cream was already in your hand, a spoonful of it hanging from your lips as you browsed with a frustrated look on your face, and honestly… Javi loved how you looked. It was so domestic and sweet, the sight of you in your pajamas that barely covered your belly as you raided the kitchen.
Thirty-six weeks and four days. He could barely believe how much time had passed since he saw those positive tests. It felt like forever and the blink of an eye at the same time, and he was beyond excited to meet his newest little one.
“What are you looking for, sweetheart?” Javi asked after a moment of watching you helplessly search around.
The sheepish smile you gave him made his heart swell in his chest and he automatically opened his arms as you shuffled over to bury your face in his chest. “Your kid is driving me crazy with the cravings.”
Javier hugged you tightly, relishing in the way you relaxed against him. “Well, if they’re anything like me, they probably want those barbecue chips, then.”
It didn’t take long for him to get you herded back up to bed with the chips in hand and the sight of you sleepily munching away while burrowed in the blankets eased an almost innate need Javier had to see you safe and happy, all nice and taken care of in his bed. He climbed into bed once he was sure you didn’t need anything else, settling on his side with his head propped up against his hand to watch you despite his own sleepiness.
“Let your mama sleep, troublemaker.” He murmured to your belly as he rubbed gentle circles over the spots he could feel the nudges of his little one retaliating to their father’s stern words. “Need some lotion?”
“Hmmm, please?” You hummed.
Rubbing lotion into your skin was something Javi had taken a particular liking to. The first time he had seen you doing it yourself, he was quick to take over. That was the first time he felt his little one kick at his hands and he fell even more in love - something he hadn’t thought was possible. It was a good way to feel closer to you both, to his wife and the baby you were bringing into the world, and the way you dozed slightly as he helped you relax made him feel needed, like he was doing right by you. That’s all he ever wanted to do.
A nudge to the edge of his hand made Javier glance back down to where his hands were running all over your belly, but it was the sight of the baby rolling that made him do a double take. “Holy shit,” He whispered, hands frozen as he saw what had to be the imprint of a little foot or hand poke out before disappearing. “There really is a whole person in there.”
“You’re tellin’ me,” You grumbled, grimacing slightly at the feeling. “It’s aerobics hour, apparently.”
“That’s fucking crazy.” Javi tentatively resumed massaging the lotion into your skin. It was hard to fathom, the idea that your body was so capable of creating and nurturing a brand new life, and for the millionth time he found himself thanking the universe for letting him have this second chance.
----------
Gabriel Peña came early, quick, and with a sharp cry you were sure could be heard throughout the entire hospital. His little nose was scrunched up, his face all red from his wailing, hands curled into angry fists over his sudden eviction from the warmth and darkness he was accustomed to. It was a short labor, so very different from your first with Ellie for so many reasons but the biggest being the strong presence of Javier at your side. The moment the contractions began at the crisp hour of six a.m., he was alert and full of nervous excitement.
True to his word, Javier let you clutch onto him through it all - every contraction, every push, every angered grumble you threw his way for getting you pregnant in the first place. That sharp mind of his kept up under the pressure. He spoonfed you ice chips and let you use him for support as you rocked your way through particularly bad contractions.
There were tears in Javier’s eyes as he carefully set his hand on his son’s head, carefully musing the shock of dark, wispy hair on his head. You leaned your head against Javi’s shoulder, exhaustion, relief, and happiness warring with each other after hours of labor. You felt his lips press against your temple before he sniffled and whispered, “Thank you.”
Javier stayed by Gabriel’s side the entire time the doctors checked him over and cleaned him up, per your instructions, and he was the one to return your son to your arms. It was the most careful you had ever seen him, his movements slow and deliberate, eyes on the baby’s adorable, chubby face.
“Seven pounds, nine ounces,” Javi murmured as he drug a chair as close to your bedside as possible and settled in, his hand resting on your thigh. A disgruntled whine came from the baby wriggling in your arms and you smiled, knowing he was hungry and could probably smell the milk your body had been preparing to make for his arrival. You pulled the gown down to expose your breast, propping your arm with a pillow to better support him, and adjusted his latch to settle in.
“Nice latch, mama,” One of the nurses said as she finished settling the blankets around your feet.
“Not my first time at this rodeo.” You chuckled quietly. It had been a while since Ellie weaned but you still remembered the struggle of figuring out how to get a newborn to latch properly when you had no idea what you were doing. You set your hand over Javi’s, smiling at him when he blinked sleepily up at you. Neither of you had gotten much rest before Gabriel decided to make his appearance into the world. “Can you hand me some water, honey?”
“Of course,” Javi perked up with the small task you gave him. There wasn’t much he could do at this point, but you wanted him to feel involved, to feel like he was helping you, and even though his mere presence helped you relax, you knew he was an ‘action’ kind of man. He needed something to do to feel useful. He held the straw steady for you and everything, your sweet husband. “How’re you feeling?”
“Tired.” You answered honestly, leaning into his hand when he brushed stray hairs from your face.
“I know this wasn’t easy. I’m proud of you.” It was a simple statement but it hit you right in your chest. As excited as you were to have another baby, it was hard. Exhausting. He could see it all, how tired you were and how hard you were working just to carry on like normal through your pregnancy, and while he did everything he could to ease some of that burden, the plain acknowledgement of how hard you worked felt good.
“I love you so much.” You whispered, pulling his hand close to kiss his palm.
“I love you, too.” Javier leaned over the side of the bed and kissed you softly, careful not to jostle his son where he sleepily nursed against you. “How are our kids so damn cute?”
You huffed a laugh, which made Gabriel shift against you before settling back down, sighing suspiciously similar to his father. “It helps that their dad is incredibly good looking.”
“True,” Javi said, trying for that cocky tone you loved but you didn’t miss the pink tinge to the tips of his ears. Compliments always got him like that, all red-faced and adorable - though he would never admit it.
A short nap later and you had one very excited Ellie fidgeting in the chair next to your bed, impatiently waiting to meet her baby brother. Javier stood behind her, quietly reminding her to be careful as you helped keep the squirming newborn steady in her lap. Your heart damn near exploded when she began cooing at her brother and very gently touching his soft cheeks. She was enamored by him, asking so many questions that you and her father could barely keep up.
“Can we share my bed?” “No, he can’t sleep in your bed, baby. He has to sleep in a special bed in mommy and daddy’s room.”
“Does he get a special seat like me?” “Yep! Daddy’s putting his carseat in next to yours right now. You’ll get to talk to him the whole way home.”
“Is he gonna cry a lot?” “Yeah, he will. That’s how babies let people know they need something since they don’t have words like we do.”
“Can I share my crackers with him?” “Not yet! Right now, he only drinks milk.” “Milk? Like for cereal?” “Kind of, but it comes from your mommy.” “What?!” “You ate the same thing when you were a little baby, too.” “What?!”
The entire drive home was full of little Ellie chatting away at her baby brother, mostly about the stuffed animals she had at home that she promised to show him the moment they got home. There was a small smile on Javier’s face as he drove, his hand curled around yours on the center console. He practically radiated contentment and damn did it look good on him.
----------
For what felt like the millionth time, you woke before the sun had a chance to rise. Though this time, it was to the feeling of a full bladder rather than the sound of a hungry baby, so that could be counted as a small win at the very least. You tried to ignore the ache in your healing body as you stumbled your way to and from the bathroom, near silent in your movements even though you were half asleep. It was a well practiced dance, getting out and back into bed without waking your sleeping children.
But something was off. The sheets were cooler than usual, missing the fire-like heat that Javier radiated constantly. You sat up, blinking against the drowsiness and darkness to see your husband passed out on the rocking chair in the corner of the room with Gabriel curled up on his bare chest. Skin-to-skin contact was something Javier couldn’t get enough of. He told you how close it made him feel to his son and you couldn’t complain. It was a precious sight. Avoiding the creaky floorboards, you carefully covered Gabriel with a soft baby blanket and smoothed it down his back.
“S’wrong?” Javier mumbled, words slurred with sleep, his eyes barely cracking open. On instinct, his hands shifted over the little baby asleep on him to hold him closer, even more secure.
“Shh, nothing’s wrong.” You soothed as you gently tucked his curls back away from his forehead. “Go back to sleep.”
“M’kay.” And with that his eyes were closed, back to dozing like he was never interrupted in the first place. You were glad. Tomorrow was an early morning, and paired with all of the midnight feedings and diaper changes, you all could use some rest. So you laid back down, sleep dragging you back under swiftly.
Javier was practically bouncing with nerves just hours later, even though he was trying not to show it. It brought you back to that first appointment when you were pregnant, only this time he held a sleeping one-month old who he was trying not to wake up with his nervousness.
“I just want it to go well.” He grumbled when you asked if he was okay.
“It will.” You reassured him, rubbing circles into his knee. “They’re both perfectly healthy, the pediatrician will tell you that, too.”
You were right - then again, when weren’t you? Gabe was a healthy nine and a half pounds, strong heart and lungs, and good reflexes. Javier was hooked on the pediatrician’s every word, nodding along and giving you a relieved smile with each positive statement. And of course, Ellie’s rambunctiousness had the pediatrician and nurses completely captivated as she told them all about her preschool and the antics she got up to while they checked her over.
The pride on Javier’s face with every positive comment and reassurance that both of his kids were on track developmentally made your heart flip. You felt so beyond lucky to have this little family of yours, with two beautiful children and the man you always loved. It felt too good to be true sometimes, especially when Javi pulled you close for a tight hug and a kiss to the side of your head before he worked to get one wiggly Gabe back into his onesie.
One impromptu trip to the park later and you and Javier had two very tired kids on your hands. Ellie was already passed out by the time Javier pulled into the driveway but Gabe was quickly venturing into ‘overtired’ territory. He was grumpy, wriggling around in your arms like he couldn’t get comfortable, all the while giving little whines and grunts that threatened to turn into full on wailing. He didn’t want milk, he didn’t need a diaper change, he just wanted to sleep but was too frustrated to let a nap take him.
“Give ‘em here.” Javier offered and you freely handed him over. The postpartum fatigue was no joke, and even though it was lessening with each passing day, you were damn tired so you had no issue with letting your husband put the baby down for a nap. You curled up on the couch, not quite going to sleep but still letting your mind and body rest as you listened to Javi try to negotiate with Gabriel as if he were some sicario and not just a particularly stubborn baby.
“C’mon, little man. Just go to sleep. All of your problems if you went to sleep right now? Solved. Completely solved. Instead of crying you could just… go to sleep.” Javier whispered over the cooing and grunting of his son. “Oh, don’t give me that face, mister.”
You snorted a laugh - you knew exactly what face Gabe was pulling. His nose and eyebrows would scrunch up, lips pursed as he huffed angry breaths like a little baby bull. It was an exaggerated copy of the face Javier pulled anytime he was frustrated, which you found ridiculously adorable. Slowly, the grumpy grunts became more and more quiet until they disappeared completely, and a few moments later, Javier flopped down on the couch next to you with a sigh.
“Got him down.” Javi said as he pressed close to you, burying himself between the back of the couch and your body to press his face into your neck. A blanket of drowsiness must have settled over the entire house as both kids napped peacefully in their beds and you cuddled up to your husband in the living room. The both of you would doze until the sound of little feet on the hardwood or the sounds of a hungry baby woke you, and then it would be back on the grind of parenthood, but you knew… with Javier by your side, you could do it.
{Taglist}
@iamburdened @everyhowlmarksthedead @jenrebloggingfics @xserenax-13 @silverstarsandsuns @luminescentlily @peterpstuff @leonieb @lazybeeches @withasideofmeg @freeshavocadoooo @chattychell @ew-erin @i-ship-it-ironically @artsymaddie @mrsparknuts @wyn-dixie @notabotiswear @lunaserenade @jitterbugs927 @theorganasolo @the-witty-pen-name @northernpunk @lemonlime09 @la-lunaluna @andruxx @greeneyedblondie44 @bloodsuckingbastards @coldlilheart @gracie7209 @green-socks @paintballkid711 @lord-of-restingbiface @asta-lily @xgoldenjenny @mummifymecaptain @cjbtw @a-skov @himbotroy @xjsteph @marvelousmermaid @over300books @castleamc @darnitdraco @janebby @cannedsoupsucks @itssmashedavo @mtjoi @triggerhappyflygirl 
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mystic-shadows42 · 4 years ago
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Legitimate Heir
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A/N: The story doesn’t flow as nicely as I hoped.
Pairing: Ivar x reader
Warnings: None...maybe some angst
Summary: The reader has a surprise for Ivar leaving Freydis to become mad with jealousy.
You laid on your side, in bed, next to a sleeping Ivar. You couldn’t help but admire him and gaze at his beautiful face.
It was nights like this that you couldn’t help but think. After you and Ivar were done being tangled in the sheets, you would always feel guilty.
Guilty for sleeping with a married man. Yes, you are the other woman that you promised yourself you wouldn’t be. All of this wasn’t planned or done with deceit.
You never thought of Ivar as more than your king. Your first conversation with Ivar ended up not being the last. It was when you touched hands that you both gasped at the connection.
It was as if your encounter was meant to be. You remember there being a spark in Ivar’s eyes when you both looked from where you touched then to each other’s faces.
There was a lingering feeling of being scared. Ways of love were unknown to you. Especially with a king no less.
‘Nothing would come of it’ was what you used to tell yourself whenever you thought of Ivar.
A king had no time or use for a random woman living in Kattegat. He was far too busy plotting and planning his next move. He already had a beautiful wife that he seemed to adore to no end.
Whenever you’d have to enter the great halls you’d try to keep your head down though you always found yourself peering past others to get a glimpse of Ivar. He’d always be slouched in his seat.
He always seemed to be deep in thought and far away from everybody else who appeared to be talking to him.
You knew that you couldn’t avoid him forever. You were a cook. The finest that Kattegat had to offer, so to speak by others who’ve told you so.
You remember telling that thralls to take the food out. You were quite nervous even though Ivar never even got to know your name.
A loud sound resonated throughout the whole hall and everybody grew quiet. You peeked behind the door to the kitchen and watched Ivar looking down at his food angrily.
“I am sick and tired of having fish. Why must I keep seeing it on my table when I am the King of Kattegat! Do I not protect you all and share my wealth? The cooks could at least serve me something more fitting for a king to eat.”
At Ivar’s huffing and puffing, Freydis placed her hand on his clenched one. You couldn’t help but feel jealous at the subtle touch.
You wondered if her touch was anything compared to the one you and Ivar shared. Did she feel the sparks with him too?
“My love, we are coming into our winter months. It’ll be hard raising any cattle at all let alone having options of meats.”
He pulled his hand away from hers in an abrupt manner making her sit back in her seat with what seemed to be embarrassment in front of others.
“I don’t care. I’ve already made up my mind. I must speak with the kitchen staff immediately.”
He moved quickly with his crutches, letting his frustration fuel his energy to walk hastily. You backed away and warned the others that the king was making his way over.
Everyone was scrambling to tidy themselves before they grouped up for his appearance. As much as you wanted to hide in the back of the kitchen staff, you didn’t.
You were the main cook so you had to take responsibility and whatever repercussions he would give you. Ivar had come in through the doors with narrowed brows and clenched fists.
“Who’s in charge of preparing my food?”
“We all are, my king.” One of the staff members spoke with their head bowed.
Ivar was about to say something when you approached in front of the staff and in his view.
“If there is any issue with your food, my king then you may deal with me. I’m the one who wanted to serve you fish.”
The anger on his face quickly dissipated when he recognized you. Now there would be no more hiding. He knows of your status and could find you wherever if he even wanted to.
After that, Ivar never let a day go by without making an excuse to see you. He’d sneak in subtle touches and leave sweet little notes behind.
The rest all seemed to be a distant memory compared to now. 
You traced Ivar’s jawline as he caressed your bare arms.
“I must tell you something Ivar.”
He briefly glanced at you and gestured with his hand to continue. 
“Speak freely, my love.”
You rolled to your side in bed and whispered in his ear. 
“I carry your child. Our child.”
You felt giddy on the inside, full of nerves but excited at the same time. When Ivar turned over in bed and looked at you with his eyes filled with hope, you knew nothing else mattered.
“Have the gods truly blessed us? I thought it was impossible for me.” He was lost in thought as he remembered what being crippled meant. No heirs to further his legacy.
Though now, he had hope. You placed your hand delicately on the side of his cheek so he could look at you.
“The gods have blessed us. Blessed our relationship. We must tell everyone there’s an heir to be welcomed.”
Ivar was beyond excited. He planted your entire face with kisses.
Later that night you dressed in one of your finest dresses that Ivar gifted you. You were among the people of Kattegat in the great hall waiting for Ivar to share the exciting news.
There was a permanent smile on your face just waiting in anticipation. You felt like you were glowing when Ivar appeared staring out at everyone.
“People of Kattegat, I bring exciting news!” His blue eyes seemed to light up the entire room. It was a look you wish he always had on. “I’m going to be a father!”
Cheers erupted and pleasantries were yelled out in the excitement. You would’ve covered your ears if it didn’t involve you.
“Come up here my love. Wherever you are.”
You made your way through the crowd with your eyes only trained on Ivar the whole time. Your heart was racing erratically, the cheers only fueling your pace to reach Ivar.
Though Freydis was the one who made it to the front before you did. Perhaps Ivar didn’t reveal your pregnancy to her yet. Ivar placed his hand on Freydis’ stomach.
“Your queen is pregnant!”
It felt as if all the air had been sucked out of you. It couldn’t be. Ivar had always spent his time with you. He gave her a kiss and you had to look away. 
It was then that you were reminded of your place. Ivar was never yours. You were just a mistress and Freydis his wife.
After their display of affection, Ivar scanned the crowd until he found you. He saw your tear-streaked face and made a move to you but Freydis stopped him. She glanced over to you and spoke to him.
His eyes never left yours but once Freydis was done saying what she had to say, he shook his head at you.
There was no fight in you tonight. You were drained beyond belief at this sudden news. You wanted to be angry, but couldn’t. At the end of the day, Freydis was his.
You believed yourself to be naive when it came to him. He told you he hadn’t touched her. That he’d leave her for you. Now you knew it was all lies.
You fell back into the crowd letting everyone else surpass you. Something had happened between earlier and now. Ivar hadn’t faked his excitement. For now, you just wanted to be alone.
One of the thralls had her head bowed to you and opened the door that you shared with Ivar but you walked past it. This wasn’t your home, it never was.
What everyone didn’t know was that Freydis had found out about your pregnancy and panicked which caused her to lie because she knew you carried Ivar’s legitimate heir.
Tagged: @belovedcherry​ @lordsexmachine​ @lol-haha-joke​ @mariaenchanted​ @ethereallysimple​ @bababasti​ @ir-abelas-telanadas​ @soleil-dor​ @youbloodymadgenius​
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yesimwriting · 4 years ago
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Searing Starlight (chapter 3)
A/n I CANNOT believe how many people have supported this story,, I’m so excited to continue it with you guys :)) 
Just a reminder that while this is based off the show i hope to blend in some book aspects/vibes and this is just a fanfic and it won’t be completely accurate/follow the show 100% and any changes I make/parts I chose not to focus on are for the sake of the story I’m trying to tell 
-- 
I can’t tell if I wish Kaz had let me go with Inej or not. She’s faster than I am, and considering that I have no real reason to be loyal to them, I’m a flight risk. That means I’m stuck here with only the Kaz Brekker and Jesper, who I tricked. I hadn’t exactly befriended Inej entirely in the few minutes I was alone with her, but she seemed more trustworthy than them. More susceptible to reason. And when she heard where I was from, who was responsible for raising me, something in the way she watched me changed. It was the oddest combination--a look of both tired sympathy and cautious admiration.
“What I don’t understand…” Jesper breaks the silence. “Is why you all go back there. He lets you leave, he gives you money--there’s no reason to return.” 
I try not to let the question anger me. I shift awkwardly, scratching at my palm. “We tried leaving.” My stomach knots. “Once.” How do I make them understand? “He caught us because we young and stupid, and then he…” I exhale slowly. They’re just words. They don’t change anything. Whether I speak them or not, the events of my history aren’t different. “He picked the youngest, a girl only six months younger than me, and he slit her throat from ear to ear and took a finger of anyone that flinched as her blood splattered onto them. He said her blood was our penance and to live with knowing what we did to her would be our punishment.” 
I don’t tell them that I was twelve. I don’t tell them Anya lied about my birthday on the records. I don’t tell them I’m missing the very tip of my pinky--a small punishment for the twitch of my lip. “When Kenya is truly angry, he never hurts you--he hurts those around you.” No one responds to that. They’re making me seem like such a bummer. “It’s not awful all the time...he borders on agreeable when you listen to him.” 
Most days we have peace, left to our own devices as long as we accomplish certain goals. Their silence does little to unnerve me. After speaking so freely of such a nightmare, the desire to be rid of the taste of those words from my mouth is almost overwhelming, but I hold to the silence. 
“Why has he never sold you to the grisha that are so desperate for you?”
Of course Kaz Brekker would ask a question like that. “He isn’t the business of money, he’s in the business of creating gods. He indentures people he thinks could one day become saints or something else entirely. He wants to be owed by the heavens.” 
I watch Kaz carefully, a part of me curious about how someone like him could react to a goal like that. I can see him understanding the ambition of it all, but I can’t imagine himself a person of faith. Perhaps he’ll think it a clever trick. Perhaps he’ll even agree with Kenya.
He nods once; something I get nothing from. 
Whatever. He can be coy and distant this entire time. They all can. I’ll be out of here soon enough, and I’ll find Anya. And if I can stop something bad from happening to Alina then that’s a bonus I’m willing to take risks for. 
“That man is awful.” 
Inej’s voice comes from right behind me. I snap my head around. “You’re in here.” 
She nods once, oblivious to how shocking her sudden appearance is. She hands me a knapsack casually, staring at Kaz. “What’s the plan? We have six hours.” 
I look around the room, only seeing one closed window and one closed door. “There’s one door in this room.” 
“We take the Inferni to the ship.” He doesn’t even bother looking in my direction. 
Okay, they can be mean to be all they want but they can’t ignore me. I don’t think I’ve ever been ignored in my entire life. Gods in the making get attention. It may be the cruel attention of fate, but it’s something. 
“Did she come in through the window?” 
Again, I am ignored. 
“And then what, boss?” Jesper casually crosses the room, sitting down next to me on the small couch. It’s like I’m not even here. “We’d need to break into the Little Palace to get Alina.” 
What? “You guys are going to--” No. No. I am not kidnapping Alina. And there’s no way she’d be in the Little Palace. “First off--if you want to kidnap Alina Starkov for whatever insane ploy you’re all playing at, you’d never find her at Little Palace. She’s not a Grisha and second--” I cut myself off, standing from my seat. “Why am I even telling you this? I shouldn’t be helping you kidnap her.” 
Kaz’s eyes dart to me boredly. At least it’s some kind of acknowledgement of my existence. “I thought you two weren’t close.” 
I seriously consider scorching him. Just a little. Not even enough to scar him, just enough to get him to shut up. “She’s still a person who has a right to her body and what happens to it.” 
“Not that it’s any of your concern, but if we pull this off we get one million kruge.” 
What does he think I’m going to say? ‘Okay, well as long as you’re doing it for a good reason.’ Is that the response he expects. “Okay, well that makes it fair.” 
His eyes narrow skeptically, but Jesper is the one to ask, “Really?” 
“No,” I scoff, slumping back into my seat, “I was being sarcastic.” 
I drop my head back, neck craning over the back of the small couch. It isn’t exactly comfortable, but at least it makes it easier to ignore them. I’ve kept worse company for less. There’s an odd silence for a long second. I look forward without moving, I see Kaz vaguely gesture in Inej’s direction.
“Y/n,” Inej’s voice is refreshingly measured, “I think after the kinds of things we’ve gone through we understand that there’s some relativity in morality.” 
I shift my head to the right so I can look at her. “...Yes, but you’re just forcing another girl into a similar situation.” Why is Alina even worth so much? “And why would anyone pay so much for Alina?” 
Inej hesitates, glancing at Kaz and then back at me. “She’s a Sun Summoner.” 
On instinct, I straighten entirely, my body rigid. They’re insane. “You all are cracked if you think Alina’s a Sun Summoner.” No. No. It couldn’t be her. “Bless your hearts, seriously, she’s--she was trained to be a map maker--she’s not…” None of them relax, none of them shift in any way. What good would lying about this bring them? They have no reason to lie about this. “Saints, I should have had more to drink while downstairs.” 
So what if she’s a Sun Summoner? She didn’t ask to be one. She doesn’t deserve this. I cross my arms. “It doesn’t make this okay.” 
“And would it make it okay if you were getting a cut of the profit?” What? 
Kaz is looking at me in that tactful way. It takes all of my focus to not let myself become unnerved. “What?” 
“If I offered you a cut, would you be able to push aside more protests in order to make working with you easier?” 
Could I do it? Could I betray Alina? I drop my gaze away from his, opting to focus on the forgotten lantern on the coffee table in front of me. It flickers to life with no conscious prompting on my part. The flame is low and blue. Still though, Kaz notices it. What doesn’t he notice? 
“I can help you do what I agreed to.” I swallow around a lump in my throat, “But I cannot help you kidnap Alina.” 
The corner of his mouth tugs downwards. “We’re just going to get her to work with us.” 
“Work with you?” 
“We never said anything about taking her, and if Alina is really your friend you should know that the entire world is after her. Better us who can get her out of an unwanted situation quickly than the brutal General Kirigan who will hold her hostage until she does what he wants.” 
...I guess he has a point. “Oh.” I’m not naive enough to think that their methods will revolve around making Alina comfortable, but perhaps it’s not as dark as I assumed. “Maybe I was a little quick to assume…” I trail off awkwardly, looking at Inej for some type of reassurance. She avoids my gaze. 
I scratch the back of my arm, feeling like a spiraling child. I pick up my knapsack and place it on my lap, fiddling with the strap. 
“Come on,” Kaz stands, adjusting his grip on his cane, “We only have until sunrise.” 
As I stand, I pull down the skirt of my dress, suddenly aware of how inappropriate my clothing is for this late in the night. “Can--can I change first?” 
It’s a sheepish question, leaving me feeling like a child. 
“Five minutes,” Kaz offers, stepping out of the room with the rest of them. 
Inej leaves last, feet more silent than a cat. She offers me the tiniest hint of a smile. Despite my reservations, I beam at her. Something about me finds her politeness endearing despite it all. I think she closes the door loudly on purpose, to assure me of privacy. 
Normally changing in a building so full of drunk men would leave me nervous, but knowing Inej is outside leaves me feeling safe. I may not trust her with my life but something about her being tells me she values personal autonomy enough to protect it. 
I sift through the belongings Inej brought me. Clean underwear I try not think of her searching for, a thin white dress, comfortable pants, shorts, a few casual shirts, my red hood, and a nightgown. When I get to the bottom of the bag, and I see the personal belongings Inej smuggled back for me, I’m moved so powerfully my hand flies to my mouth on instinct. She had brought the folded up piece of paper with the only information I’ve been able to find about Kamil, the book I left on my nightstand, the small candle holder Alina had given me the day before I was taken away, the blade Mal had given me the day I left, the deck of playing cards Anya had first taught me to play with, and my mother’s necklace. The silver north star on a long chain. 
Before I can become too emotional, I take off the Crow’s Club T-shirt Inej had given me when I looked cold. I change into black pants, tucking the small blade Mal had given me into the pocket. The shirt I put on is pale blue, breaking the dark theme of everything around me. I fasten my red hood over my shoulders, basking in the familiar fabric. Lastly, I pull the north star necklace over my head, watching the blue orb with a black dot at its center blink at me in the light. I always found the stone at the pendant’s center odd. I'm quick to walk towards the door, nervous about what wasting their time could mean. 
“Let’s do this,” I sigh, pushing open the door. 
They all pause. Or maybe they were never moving. I try to imagine them interacting normally, but it’s hard to picture them as anything but intense and unflinching. There’s something odd about them, though, Jesper practically sulking and Kaz dropping his head despite Inej’s harsh stare.
“What kind of stone is in your necklace?” 
I swear to the Saints that if Kaz Brekker tries to steal it I’ll melt those leather gloves into his hands. “Try to take it and--” 
“That’s what I get for trying to make ‘polite conversation.’” He throws a look at Inej as he speaks the last two words. 
Wait--did Inej tell him to try to make polite conversation? Wait--more importantly, did he just kind of, almost say something that borders on casual? 
Wrinkling my nose, I let out a slight sigh. “Sorry.” 
His eyebrows draw together quizzically. “Did you just apologize for assuming I’d steal from you?” 
Great. Now I’m fully embarrassed. “Can we just go?” 
“Not before meeting me, I hope.” The stranger’s voice means nothing to me, but the others tense at it immediately. What? The man continues to walk forward, his steps too casual and confident for me to trust. The stranger is quick to respond to the question on my face, “Pekka Rollins.” 
--
Taglist: @ambrosia-v-black @fandomstuffff @boxofteenageideas @losers-club6 @cityofstaars @stillreadingfantasy @slatersbrekker  @xoxo-aclown @alzawas-plug @nuwanda-greaser @swearingsolemnly @-thatgirloverthere-
General Taglist: @theincredibledeadlyviper @grishaverse7
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free-pool-trash · 4 years ago
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disappointment - peter maximoff
i’ve yet again lost my ability to write :D anyway here you go lovelies <3 idek know what this is tbh i just had to post something (it’s not good im sorry I seriously hate this omg anyway im going)
word count: 2k
warnings: senseless angst, WandaVision spoilers, swearing
comments are appreciated <3
masterlist
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“Are you nervous about the mission tomorrow? ‘Cus I am.” Peter’s voice sounded beside your ear. His head was tucked between your neck and shoulder while his chest was pressed flush against your back, his arms wound tightly around your middle.
With a tired yawn, you rubbed your boyfriend’s forearm soothingly. It was late and you were half asleep but you’d been dating Peter long enough to know that he could never sleep if there was something on his mind. “You’re not even going on the mission tomorrow, baby. Why’re you nervous?” You lazily played with his fingers, stopping them from anxiously drumming against your stomach, as you slurred your words sleepily.
Peter let out a heavy sigh and hid his face against your neck, pecking the skin softly with his lips as he did, “I’m not going, but you are. M’worried about you…”
His confession caused your eyes to flutter open.
Peter Maximoff had the biggest heart of anyone you’ve ever met. He loved hard but he worried harder. So when you heard the slight shake in his raspy voice, you twisted in his grip to face him.
His lips were turned downwards, as were his eyes as he avoided your gaze.
“Pete…” You whispered, moving your arms to wrap around his neck. “I’m gonna be okay. Raven and Charles will be with me the whole time, we’ll be in and out. I promise.” You pressed your lips against his quickly before pulling away to look at him, his brown eyes finally meeting yours, his hands holding you tightly against him still.
“I just don’t get why Charles won’t let me come.” He complained with a childish pout.
You let out a quiet laugh before tugging Peter’s head down slightly so his forehead could rest against yours, “We really need this mutant on our side, Pete. Charles insisted that only X-Men with the “powers of persuasion” are going.” You explained, making air quotes despite the fact he couldn’t see them.
With another light kiss you continued, “And hey, what’s the worst that can happen?”
Peter scoffed at that, scrunching his nose up in distaste, “He could blast the only woman I’ve ever loved into a different dimension.” He grumbled, rubbing his nose against yours.
His worry wasn’t exactly misplaced. There’d been a group of mutants on a warpath lately, one of the group slightly friendlier than the others, albeit, still highly malicious. The man in question had the ability to open portals to other realities, and he’d been using said ability to get rid of anyone who stood in his way.
Charles thought he’d be an asset, Raven thought he should be taken out of the picture and you thought the man was more than just a lackey, like he let on.
So Peter, as much as he liked to overthink, was definitely onto something. There was a huge possibility that, if anyone was going to get blasted into another reality on tomorrow’s mission, it was probably going to be you.
Your mutation was mind control, you could make anyone do anything just by saying the words. Charles’ tactic was to try persuade the mutant and if that failed, yourself and Raven would be brought in to manipulate his decision.
“That won’t happen.” You tried to reassure him, letting your hands run through his hair but Peter remained on edge.
“But what if-“ He started but you cut him off with a gentle tug on his silver hair.
“No buts. I’m gonna go on this mission, it’s gonna be a pain in the ass but it’s gonna be fine. I’m going to come home with not even a scratch on me. Then I’ll find you and you’ll kiss me and welcome me home like you always do.” You rattled off the usual post-mission routine with a fond smile across your lips.
Peter let out a defeated sigh, a smile of his own beginning to form as you placed lazy kisses against his jaw.
“Fine. I believe you. But if you don’t come back I’m gonna be seriously pissed.” He jostled your body, chuckling happily when you let out an airy giggle against his neck. “Don’t go getting any ideas, sweetheart. Even going to a different reality won’t get rid of me.”
You continued placing short kisses against his neck and jaw until you worked your way back up to his pink lips, you ghosted over them with your own, only barely pressing them down and pulling a whine from Peter when you pulled away to look at him with a teasing grin.
“So say your lovely girlfriend does get sent to an alternate reality… would you follow?” Within a second of your question, Peter had flipped your positions so that your back was against the mattress and the man in question was hovering on top of you with a cheeky grin.
“Sweet cheeks, I’d follow you anywhere.” He told you and you giggled at the stupid pet name before pulling him down to kiss you.
Your eyes fluttering shut as you murmured against his lips, “I love you, idiot.”
Softly, Peter tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.
“I love you too.
*
It was safe to say that the mission was a complete failure. As you’d thought, the mutant Charles wanted to befriend turned out to have plans of his own, one of those plans being to throw you head first into a different dimension, apparently.
As much as it pained you to admit; Peter was right.
Fuck, he was probably going out of his mind with worry. You kicked yourself internally, not believing that you’d actually been careless enough to get caught out by the burly mutant. Not that it was entirely your fault, now that you thought about it actually, it was pretty much entirely Charles’ fault for doing his usual; not listening to you. You warned him it wouldn’t work, yet he sent you in anyway. If he didn’t find a way to get you home soon you’d… well, you weren’t really sure what you’d do. Probably find Peter and tell him you love him then go kick Charles’ ass.
Dreams of giving your professor the biggest telling off of his life came to a crashing halt when you took in your new surroundings. It seemed you’d been regurgated out in the middle of some run down town, if you didn’t know any better you would’ve thought you were still in your own reality, but unfortunately, you did know better.
There was something wrong, or if not already, something was about to go very wrong in the little town. You could feel it. Someone very powerful was about to lose control of themselves. You couldn’t exactly tell the future but you had something of a disaster radar that told you when shit was about to hit the fan.
With nothing else to do, you decided to follow the feeling as it led you to a red car.
Noticing a woman in the driver’s seat, you approached cautiously. When she noticed you walking towards her she rolled down the passenger side window, looking at you with a questioning gaze.
“Sorry to intrude,” You told her genuinely, “It’s just I thought that maybe someone needed help.” You bet around the bush slightly, you knew it was the redhead in front of you that needed help but it wasn’t in your nature to use your powers to demand someone to spill their souls to you.
When her eyes lit up red, you didn’t startle. The feeling of someone poking around your thoughts wasn’t a new sensation to you, Charles seldom knew when to mind his own business, so the fact that the woman before you was reading your mind hardly phased you.
“I’ve got abilities too.” You told her with a small smile before going on, her eyes back to normal and her form more relaxed.
She nodded in understanding, “You’re very far from home, no?” Her tone was sympathetic and you let out a humourless laugh.
“That might be an understatement. Pretty morbid thinking I’ll probably never find my way home.” It was only when you spoke the words that it really hit you that the chances of returning home were slim to none. You’d probably never see the love of your life again, you’d probably have to wave goodbye to any possibility of having a future with your speedster.
Catching onto your miserable train of thought, Wanda leaned over and opened the passenger door for you, motioning for you to get in. Gratefully, you took the stranger up on her offer.
“I’ve lost everything too.” She confessed and you weren’t sure why but you felt the need to comfort her, once again following your instincts, you squeezed her hand and to your surprise, she reciprocated the action.
“My name is Wanda, by the way.” She introduced herself and you responded with a kind smile.
“I’m Y/n. It’s nice to meet you.”
With a deep breath, Wanda squeezed your hand one last time, then turned to face you. “I have to do something. Will you wait here until I come back? I believe we could be of some help to each other.”
“Of course. Take your time, I’ll wait for as long as you need.” You promised her. Watching as she took another shaky breath and got out of the car and made her way towards the foundation of a house.
After about a minute, Wanda fell to her knees. And then you saw nothing but scarlet.
*
Life in WestView was good. Sure, there were some holes in your memory, but other than that, things were good.
You had a nice house, right next to Wanda’s, your hair seemed to style itself most of the time and the nightmares that plagued you were hardly ever your own. Things were fine.
Being blissfully ignorant was good enough for you for a number of days, until a familiar face caused all of your hopes of living happily unaware to crumble to the ground.
You’d been over at Wanda and Visions house for dinner when he’d knocked on the door. Standing on Wanda’s front porch was the one and only, Peter Maximoff. Your Peter. The person you loved the most and your ticket home.
The second his brown eyes locked on yours you’d been so sure. You would’ve bet your life that the person playing Wanda’s twin was Peter.
Perhaps your fatal flaw was wishful thinking as the hope of your love coming to rescue you, however romantic, was naive.
It hit you like a freight train, that realisation. You were truly and completely alone, for when WestView fell it took all of your hope with it.
He wasn’t Peter and he never had been. Sure, he had his face, his body, his personality and even his superspeed… but he wasn’t him.
When you’d uncovered his true identity with Monica, a part of you shattered on the spot. A familiar, decolate feeling washed over you in the moment and you weren’t sure if you’d even bother to carry on.
It was the kind of gut wrenching feeling of being so disappointed to the point where it physically hurt. It was the pain of truly accepting that he hadn’t actually followed you into another reality, that maybe your love wasn’t strong enough to warrent a visit to another reality and it was the pain of knowing that his life would go on without you.
The X-Men would encourage him to move on and, you had a fair idea of how it would go, he’d fight them relentlessly but eventually he’d cave, he’d let Jean set him up on a date and then he’d go from there, however reluctantly.
And you? You’d simply be a name lost in time. The one they think about, from time to time. You’d be spared nothing more than, “I wonder how she’s doing’ or ‘whatever happened to that girl? Remember the one?”, but life would go on without you.
That sting, you knew, would never leave you. As hope was dangerous and unreliable and painful you made yourself a promise, you wouldn’t hold out for a knight in shining armour to come rescue you. All you could do now was find a way to live. By yourself.
PART 2
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rainydayotomes · 3 years ago
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helloo!! i dont rly like showing my account so would i be able to request here? it would b nice if u could write a van helsing x reader wherein we work as a government employee (how they met basically, post non lupin or van route) and he learns she doesnt associate much with her family for personal reasons after they share each others pasts? if its too much to ask for i can req something different! tyy
Hey Anon! Thats totally fine- its why I turned on the anon feature ;) and hey, thanks for being my first request! Essentially this fic is a little bit of a weird AU, where you don't end up with anyone and never met Van. I hope thats ok! If not, feel free to send in another request! Love you ❤ I hope you enjoy!
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There she was again.
That woman. The one who made his heart skip a beat at just a glance.
She laughed as she conversed with two men on either side of her. One of them, Van Helsing recognized as Victor Frankenstein. The famous alchemist.
The other one had long, red hair and had his jacket hanging off half his body. The woman who had caught his eye was sandwiched between the two; and was seemingly good friends with them. Van Helsing wondered who she was.
"Aha! Eyeing her I see!" A snide voice came from behind her.
"Tch." He closed his eyes and turned to the young king.
"Everytime you see her, you always stare. Why don't you go say hi?" Delacroix said with a loud smile that made Van Helsing sigh.
"No."
"Awww, cmon! Why not? We have some time to spare! Go have lunch with her or something!"
"No."
The young king frowned.
"That's an order."
....Goddammit.
"Tch. Fine."
He turned to see her walk towards the dining hall, where government employees and guests often met for lunch.
What the hell would he even say? He stalled for a moment, wondering what he would do when he got to her. Would he ask her for her name and run off? Would he sit down and just... eat across from her?
"Come on, let's go!" Suddenly his arm was yanked quite forcefully, and he was made to follow Delacroix into the dining hall. This was bound to be trouble.
"I thought I was only here escort and advocate for you? Not be forced into eating lunch with people unrelated to us."
Delacroix, with his hand still tightly around Van Helsing's arm, opened the door to the cafeteria easily and led the two inside.
"Well I consider you one of my loyal subjects now! And as your king, I want to see my people thrive and be happy!" He said proudly.
"Tch. All I am is your bodyguard and an advocate. What happened to wanting revenge?"
"Oh shut up about that already. Look- there she is!"
The young king pointed out the woman Van Helsing had been admiring from afar, now sitting alone at a small round table. It didn't look like she was waiting for anyone.
"Here we go..." He mumbled to himself as he was forcefully dragged right up to the table.
"Are you waiting for anyone?" The young king's voice cooly asked.
The girl looked up at him, and her eyes went wide.
"A-Ah! K-King Delacroix! N-No, I'm not waiting for anyone. Please, take a seat if you want." She said as she gestured to the two other seats across from her.
"And Mr. Van Helsing... It's nice to meet you both."
Delacroix sat down in one of the chairs, seemingly unaware how awkward this was for poor Van. Or maybe he just didn't care.
"Is this some type of torture...?" He mumbled to himself before he sat down.
"Well, it seems you know plenty about us! But what about you? My advisor has seen you around quite a bit, and he always eyes you as you walk by!" He said proudly.
Dear god, this really was torture wasn't it!?
She gave out a nervous laugh, a blush quickly dusting her delicate cheeks.
"At least this is cute." Van thought to himself.
"My name is (Y/N) (L/N), and I report to Her Majesty on public affairs. Stuff like how the different districts are doing, how crime is and such..."
"Ah, I've heard of you. You're friendly with everyone except your family, aren't you?" The young king said without hesitation.
"I-I uh..."
Van Helsing sighed at Delacroix's unapologetic nosiness.
"Delacroix, you forgot your coat in the meeting room." He said as he rubbed the bridge of his nose.
"Ah!" Delacroix rose from his seat in a slight panic. "I'll be back!" And with that, he took off faster then any human could run. Thankfully he didn't notice that he was still wearing his coat.
"Sorry about that." The soldier murmered to the girl.
"O-Oh no, it's ok! After last week's incident, I-I'm kind of used to this sort of thing..." She trailed off.
"...what happened?" He wanted to ask, but he knew he shouldn't. His unvoiced question lingered above his head, and she seemed to catch on to his thinking.
"Ahaha... well, one of my parents actually was at one of the meetings I was attending, and tried to talk to me... but I don't really... get along with them. So I tried to avoid them as best as I could, but... they kind of cornered me. I told them to leave me alone, but I was a bit too loud when I said it... the whole public affairs board saw what happened."
"I see." He replied simply.
"O-Oh, I uhm... I'm sorry. I know that talking about family might be a uh... little tough for you. I didn't mean to be insensitive. I apologize..."
It was pretty well known that Van Helsing's family was murdered, after the whole situation with Aleister came to light and he was sent to court. But it was still weird to hear that some girl he had never met before knew his past. But he doubt that she knew all of it.
"It's fine. But why don't you want to talk to your parents?"
"Ah.. it's... personal. Personal reasons."
Van Helsing closed his eyes in thoughtful silence. So she wasn't as naive to tell him absolutely everything when they first meet.
He hated to admit this, but he was definitely intrigued.
"H-Hey... I uh, have another meeting I have to get to. Do you uhm... want to go out later? For some tea or something? I'll be free around 5."
Van Helsing mulled it over in his head for a moment. Delacroix had a meeting at 5:15, but it wasn't one he necessarily had to attend. He could already practically hear the kid's voice telling him to go in his head.
He gave a nod to her.
"Sure. I've got nothing planned."
She perked up. Perhaps she wasn't expecting him to accept? He couldn't help but smile to himself over how cute she was.
"A-Alright, I'll meet you at the cafe down the street. The one-"
"-where the evening sun makes it look like the whole place is glowing?"
"Yes! That one!"
He nodded, giving her a "sure" before she got up and ran off.
He couldn't help but close his eyes and smile. She was pretty damn cute. It was pretty clear she wanted to go somewhere that would give them a little but of a fun, romantic atmosphere... but he didn't mind too much.
He was curious about her family, and why she didn't want to associate with them. But he knew that was none of his concern. Still, he quite enjoyed the thought of perhaps learning that reason one day.
Jeez, being with that kid really did make him soft, huh?
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getyouasenju · 4 years ago
Text
Drivers License
Inspired by miss Olivia Rodrigo's "Drivers License"
Word Count: 1.7K
Warnings: Maybe spoilers?? Angst, some suggestive themes, oh and you might not like it lol.
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. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – :
“I got my driver's license last week Just like we always talked about”
I let out a sigh of relief as the arms around me squeezed tighter as I recalled my day. I was nervous when Lord Sixth had called me to his office. I almost vomited when I stepped and was surrounded by a sea of Jōnin. Then my legs were jelly when he called me forward. The silver headed mans gaze felt like a laser. He paused for a moment before he spoke. “Congratulations (Y/N), you’ve been promoted to a Jōnin!” Giving me his signature closed eyed smile and wave, he giggled at my expression. My jaw was on the floor, a Jōnin. wow. I hear an applause as I turn to see the other Jōnin clapping for me, Lord Sixth stood to offer me my official Jōnin vest. I reach my hands out, bowing my head as I accept the new position.
So, there I was outside with three pairs of arms wrapped around me, squealing. “S-sakura, Hinata, Ino! If you squeeze any tighter I won’t make it on my first mission as a Jōnin. Laughing, they both loosened their grip and let breath. “Sorry (Y/N), We’re just so excited for you!” Ino exclaims. Nodding her head in agreement and clasping her hands together Sakura speaks excitedly to me “Yes! It’s all you spoke about. You worked so hard, I mean you and Shikamaru spent so much time training and going on missions for this!”
Shikamaru.. Everyone got silent as Sakura realized what she said. “I-I.. (Y/N) this is your moment, I didn’t mean to mention him, It ju-” I held my hand up smiling softly “It’s okay Sakura, I know you meant no harm.” I reach out grabbing her hand as she returns my smile. Hinata suddenly rests her hand on my shoulder, grabbing my attention as she spoke in her soft voice, “Celebratory ice cream?” she suggested. I smiled widely “Oh absolutely! Wow, Naruto is lucky I like him, ‘cause if I didn’t I’d steal you for myself!” Launching myself at her we lock arms and lead a giggling Ino and Sakura to our favorite Ice cream shop.
“'Cause you were so excited for me To finally drive up to your house”
I got my regular cone and sat at the cute table with my friends. Sakura might have brought him up, but believe me- he was already in my head. Ino was telling a story and from the looks on Hinata and Sakura’s faces, it was a good one, but I was long gone from reality now. Should I go tell him about my promotion to Jōnin? I think back to what Sakura said... He spent so much time helping me to be the shinobi I am today. Countless nights of working, training, and helping me on missions so they would be successful. I promised him he would be the first one to know about the promotion... but he was the advisor for the Hokage, he would know already, right? Did he know before I did? My head was getting foggy. I felt my ice cream dripping onto my hand, snapping out my day dream and jumping back into conversation with my friends.
“But today I drove through the suburbs Crying 'cause you weren't around”
Hugging and waving each other goodbye outside the shop Ino spoke up, “(Y/N), are you sure you don’t want one of us to walk you home like the usual?” I shook my head as I pointed to my vest. “I’m a Jōnin now! I can handle it! Next time though.” I confidently replied. Giving everyone one last squeeze, we wave as we all turn off in our separate ways. Usually I would love to have a walking partner, but I was too busy thinking of one in particular. I sigh to myself, how pathetic could I be?
I walked by my regular route, opting to take the longer way home. I wanted to clear my head, but I couldn't. The memories wouldn’t stop coming to my mind and they were hitting me hard. All of my firsts flashing in my head, all of them were with him. The worst part was that I wouldn’t trade them all for the entire world. Sighing and kicking a rock down the street I looked up at the sky and noticed it was getting darker. I should probably get home soon. Wrapping my arms around myself I slowly came to a stop on the side of the street as I tried to stop myself from sobbing. Thanking god that the streets seemed to be empty tonight. I started to walk, staggering to the side. Grabbing the nearby fence for support I violently rubbed at my eyes trying to stop my tears and ease my breathing.
Hearing a noise behind me, I quickly jumped up to a rooftop. I didn’t want to risk anyone seeing me like this. I was never like this! I felt like my world was crumbling, but how could it be? I had just gotten something I worked my ass off for, the recognization I deserved, I got to share the moment with three of the best friends in the entire fucking world and yet here I was. Crying my eyes out on a rooftop, ways from home because he wasn’t around to share it with me.
I took a seat on the roof and took a deep breath, my memories flooding me as I internally begged myself to stop. I remember the first time he kissed me. It was after he taught me to play Shogi.. and then proceeded completely blindside me and whoop my ass in it the same night. I should’ve seen it coming from the lazy genius. I was pouting the entire night until he suddenly kissed me and told me I looked too cute pouting about something so troublesome. My cheeks get warm as I think about our first time... but then my mind goes to why he’s not here celebrating with me today.
“And you're probably with that blonde girl, Who always made me doubt. She's so much older than me, She's everything I'm insecure about”
I remember the day she came to our village, at least the first day I saw her. He had known her before, they met in the Chūnin exams. I knew at least that much. I was a year below him, I didn’t know him then, but I could tell from the first glance he gave her at the gate. I knew there was more to their story than that. Their gazes lingered far too long on each other for my liking.
I was jealous when she was chosen to go on a mission with him. She was drop dead gorgeous with her sandy blonde hair and shimmering teal eyes, while I was just plain old me. Not to mention she came from a line of Kazekage, along with being a strong Kunoichi and strategist herself. They were more alike in ways I couldn’t compete with, hell I just became a Jōnin today. She had her back to us as Shikamaru kissed me goodbye at the gate that day, looking down at me, smiling and promising to be safe. I returned his stare stroking his cheek one more time. As I watched them walk off together, I knew I was just counting the days left with him.
“Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs 'Cause how could I ever love someone else?”
I was freezing now sitting on that roof, It was fully dark outside now. Wiping my eyes, I thought to myself. “Am I crying for him or myself?” I just felt so withdrawn. I gave him everything, what else was there possibly left of me to ever give someone else? It was all Shikamaru’s, I felt sick to my stomach as my wrapped my arms around myself and jumped down off the rooftop, proceeding to walk towards my home. Maybe taking the long way was a mistake, I seemed to be making a lot of those recently.
“And I know we weren't perfect, But I've never felt this way for no one And I just can't imagine, How you could be so okay now that I'm gone”
By all means we had our differences, but that’s what made us great. He liked to cloud gaze and I liked to take walks. We compromised by taking a walk and then laying down and watching the clouds when were tired. He liked to play Shogi, so I learned even though he beat me every time. He was reserved and I could be as hyper as Naruto somedays. He would say I was a troublesome woman, but that life would be a drag without me. But what is he doing now, huh? is life such drag without me now? When he was the one who left me in the dust? This is just as embarrassing as it is heartbreaking. I bet he was having the time of his life with his lucky lady.
“Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me.”
I thought back to when he told me he saw a life with me, how much he proclaimed to be in love with me, how he fights his best to come home from every mission for me and laughed. I just laughed to myself. How naive of me, I was just a holding place for Temari. Scoffing and speeding my pace up a bit I look up to see the moon shining brightly that night. Making my way further down the street as a horrid smell hit my nose. Cigarettes..
Then I remembered why I always took the shortcut home. Why I always avoided this route. This was his street. I don’t know what compelled me to go this way. Maybe my mind was subconsciously calling out for him. I was frozen in my spot, arms wrapped around my myself staring back at him. He looked at me, the moon lighting the way, his eyes lingering on the Jōnin vest I was wearing. Flicking the cigarette down on the ground and stepping on it he opens his mouth and calls out to me.
“(Y/N)? What are you doing out here alone?”
But I just turned my back and kept walking. 
“Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street...“
. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – :
Hello! I did do a little part Part two, you can find it here- “Red Lights”
Yes. I am on Olivia Rodrigo Tiktok. Hope you enjoyed, Didn’t do the full song, decided to cut one verse out :) Also Calculus is kicking my ass!
Masterlist
 Until Next Time! xxo (▰∀◕)ノ
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kireii-writes · 4 years ago
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Can I request yandere Tomura stalking his obsession?
I’m your biggest fan
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a/n: this has got to be the longest shigaraki fic i’ve written. which really surprises me since shigaraki isn’t really my type.
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warning(s): stalking, yandere tendencies, mentions of drugging, slight cursing, a tad too long
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It started out with an innocent cup of coffee.
Then, it was the constant request for you to serve him.
Afterwards came the personal questions asked as you sat across him at the usual table he would park himself at after your shifts.
Next came multiple coincidences of running into him when you least expect it.
Of course, you were too naive and innocent to see through his intentions. That’s why he chose you.
At first, Shigaraki had entered the cafe you worked at in hopes of finding a hostage to threaten the pro-heroes, under the pretense of just causally dropping in, like many other customers do.
When he opened the door to the homely cafe, you were the one that greeted him with the warm and kind smile you’ve always had on your face. At first Shigaraki thought nothing of you, until you walked up to him to take his order.
“Good afternoon, sir. May I take your order?” You grinned at the light blue haired male sitting at the small table furtherest away from everyone.
There it was again- that same smile that you gave him when he first entered the cafe.
“Just a coffee.” The male replied gruffly as he pulled the hood of his jacket further down his face.
“We have many types of coffee, sir. Which one are you interested in?” The smile was still plastered on your face as you stood there, waiting for his reply. “We have different types of lattes, mochas and espressos. May I also interest you in the different cakes and breads we have?”
“Whatever, just get me anything.” Shigaraki replied impatiently. “I don’t know what to get, surprise me.”
Upon hearing his reply, you were slightly taken aback by surprise. Sure, you’ve dealt with many customers who were picky, but never one who was uninterested in picking out an order.
“Very well then,” You clicked your pen. “Do give me a moment.” Smiling at him, you turned your back towards Shigaraki and made your way to the counter.
~~~
“Here is your coffee, sir.” Your voice caught Shigaraki’s attention as he turned his attention away from the window. “Do enjoy.”
“What is this?” The male asked as he took a whiff of the aromatic scent of the coffee in front of him.
“Matcha latte.” You smiled. “Our store’s speciality.” Seeing no reaction from the man in front of you as he continues surveying the coffee in front of him, you figured a little background information wouldn’t hurt anyone, especially him.
“Did you know? The matcha latte is our specialty because it-“
“I don’t care.” Shigaraki spoke up with such brusqueness that you immediately stopped talking. “What’s your name.” He asked or rather, demanded.
“Y/n. My name is y/n.” You replied quickly, as if eager to please him when in reality, you were just afraid he might pick on you and cause the manager to come out. There’s no knowing if you’ll get to keep your job if that happens.
“Y/n....” Shigaraki hummed as he drummed his fingers on the smooth table absentmindedly. “That’s a nice name.” He muttered. If you hadn’t been paying close attention, you would have brushed it off. Instead, a blush slowly crept onto your face at his words.
“When are you done with work? I want to get to know you more.”
Checking the clock on the wall, your face lit up with the prospect of pleasing a customer. “Five more minutes.” You informed him.
“Then come back in 5 minutes.” The red eyed man replied, scratching the back of his neck as his gaze avoided you.
He was like a little kid, you thought.
“See you in 5 minutes then.” You chirped happily at the prospect of making a new friend.
“Oh and,” You turned back to face the man that was looking at your retreating form.
“What’s your name?”
“...”
“Shigaraki Tomura.”
~~~
Ever since then, you’ve hung out with Tomura every time your shift ends. Without fail, he would be waiting quietly at the same table the both of you first met, until you were ready to approach him.
Sometimes it was just hanging out at the cafe after work, catching up on anything and everything. Other times the both of you would walk through the town without a destination in mind as Tomura listened to you talk about your day.
It’s been three months.
Three months since you’ve met Tomura, and you’ve never once asked him what he does for a living. And he doesn’t tell you anything about himself either.
And then one day, he didn’t drop by the cafe as usual. You thought it was strange, but for all you know he could be busy.
As the last customer made their way out of the cafe, you started to clean up when your co-worker took on the job of closing the store, allowing you to leave earlier than planned.
Even though you left earlier, it was close to midnight when you alighted from the train. By now, there were not many people in the station.
Wrapping your coat around yourself, you hastily walked towards the direction of your home. There has been news of dangerous people lurking around the neighbourhood, and you wouldn’t want to risk bumping into them.
Although close to the station, the neighborhood you lived it was a rather old one. Dim streetlights lit the way home, but they were so dim that it didn’t help much. Often you would hear of rowdy people laughing as they drink themselves drunk in the dead of the night, causing a ruckus to the people living close by.
Picking up your pace, you avoided all eye contact and strained your ears to hear for any footsteps apart from yours as you took a turn into the neighborhood. You thought it was stupid to be so anxious about it, but you wouldn’t want to end up dead in an alley the next day because of one mistake.
But still, you couldn’t shake off the nagging feeling of someone or something watching you from the shadows. Turning back ever so frequently, you would scan the surrounding for any signs of a stalker. Every now and then, you could feel someone or something watching you as you walked hastily towards your home. And your suspicions were confirmed when a group of men emerged from the dark, menacing looks plastered on their faces.
“Hey little thing,” One of them drawled as he made his way towards you, the smell of liquor hanging onto his clothes and skin. “Where are you going? Let me take you there.” He hiccuped.
You tried to walk past him, but his drunkard friends surrounded you in a circle, preventing you from escaping.
“Are you deaf?” Another man demanded impatiently. “He asked you where you’re going. Are you gonna ignore him? You know what happens to stupid people like you who don’t answer big bro?” the man on your right snarled at you.
You could’ve just run through them, but fear overtook your body, your legs frozen in place. You whole body shook in trepidation. Is this how you’re going to die?
You were so caught up in your thoughts that you didn’t realize that the men were now closing in on you. They were the kind of people that the neighborhood police have warned the people living close by about. They’ve been trying to nab these guys, but were unable to because they would evade the police and seem to have a hiding spot that nobody knows about.
A surprised yelp left your lips as you were being pulled by the collar from behind, your legs desperately trying to regain stability.
“Please just let me go. I won’t tell anyone about this.” You begged as a last resort. In response, you were roughly pushed to your knees as “big bro” stood in front of your trembling form, his hands undoing his belt.
“Stupid bitches like you should just shut up and do as you’re told.” He slurred.
By now, the feeling of someone else watching you apart from the men who’ve cornered you were the least of your concerns.
“No! Please!” Tears were running down your face in fear of your situation as two men from behind tore your coat away and roughly pinned you down.
A stinging slap to your face was all you got in response.
“Better open your mouth nice and wide.” The supposed leader hiccuped, his face flushed red from the liquor he has downed.
While you struggled against your captors and begged for your life, you thought it was over as the man grabbed your jaw and forced your mouth open.
As the sight of him drew closer to you, tears wouldn’t stop leaking from your eyes. Maybe, if you closed your eyes it would be better. Not like it would help you get out of this situation you’re currently in.
But when the grip on your jaw loosened, you opened your teary eyes to see that the man had completely disappeared. And in his place was a pile of ash and dust.
“He should’ve gotten his filthy hands off what belongs to me.” A familiar voice reached your ears.
“T-Tomura?” You looked up through blurry eyes to see the oh so familiar face staring at the pile of ash with contempt.
Instantly, the rest of the men who’ve had you cornered released you and stumbled backwards as if they had seen a ghost, a look of fear flashing before their faces.
“Oi, are the both of you going to come out or do I have to finish this myself? If that’s the case, what’s the point of bringing you guys along?” Tomura said to no one in particular as he scratched the back of his neck.
“What’s the rush?” A second voice replied as a man with scars on his face and hands emerged from the shadows. “We have all the time in the world.” The man smirked at your assaulters as he ran a scarred hand through his thick, black hair. “And also, I didn’t join you so I could save some damsel in distress, Shigaraki.”
“Dabi’s right, you know. I just wanted to see for myself how y/n looked like, not come and play hero. We should leave that to the real heroes.” A blonde haired girl giggled, knife in hand. “But I can see why y/n’s got your interest. I guess you following her around for 3 months really did pay off.”
“Are you going to help me get rid of these good for nothings or am I going to have to disintegrate you for talking too much, Toga?” Tomura questioned the girl named Toga.
“Well,” She started. “There’s new blood, so I guess i’ll help out then!” Toga bounced up and down gleefully.
As the remaining of your captors tried to run away, Toga leapt at the closest man and plunged her knife into his neck, all the while chanting “new blood, new blood” gleefully like a little kid.
“Dabi. You get the rest.” Tomura scratched his neck, a red spot emerging slowly but surely.
It was then when you felt warmth as blue light emitted from the the black haired male’s palm. Wait no, it wasn’t light.
It was blue flames.
Soon, the terrified screams of the men who’d attacked you died down in the flames, the nearby walls scorched and tainted black with the aftermath of the blue flames.
And there you were, clutching your coat that Tomura had picked up to your chest, trying to process what just happened.
Tomura just disintegrated someone, the girl called Toga was collecting the blood of her victim, and the man with blue flames was standing there, his hands now shoved into his jeans.
“Y/n.” Tomura spoke as he looked at you, who was still a trembling mess on the floor.
“H-how did you know I would be here? Who are these people? W-who are you?”
The night was still and quiet now apart from Toga’s quiet humming as she cleaned her knife, your questions hanging in the air unanswered.
“You k-killed someone.” You whispered, Tomura becoming a stranger in your eyes.
“...”
“Because he touched you. He touched what belongs to me.” Tomura replied, a hint of remorse nowhere to be found.
“Why don’t you just tell her that you’ve been watching her like the creep you are for the past few months already.” Dabi smirked.
“And who we are!” Toga piped up.
Silence greeted the four of you as Tomura stood there, staring at you intently.
“no... wait!” You cried out as you inched back from the once familiar figure in front of you. Now, he was someone else- a murderer who feels no remorse and not the Shigaraki Tomura that you knew. 
“So?” The blue hair man scratched his nape out of frustration. “I told you, it’s because they touched what is mine.” 
What’s his? Did he mean you? Since when did you belong to him. 
“H-how long have you been following me?” You questioned, hoping that he wouldn’t hear the fear in your shaky voice. You needed to stall as much time as possible while thinking of an escape route. But three against one? Only a miracle would allow you escape. 
“Long enough to know your daily routine.” The man name Dabi smirked, mockery lacing his words as Tomura stared down at you and said nothing. 
“Creep.” You couldn’t help but whisper under your breath. Your eyes were stinging and blurry with the tears that were threatening to spill over, but you didn’t dare to look away from Tomura out of fear that he might try something in the mere split second. 
“We’ll save the questions for later.” He finally spoke up. When you finally looked at him, a syringe was in his hands.
“For now, get some rest.” 
A soft gasp left your lips as the stinging feeling of needle pierced your skin, and drowsiness slowly overtook you, your body heavy like lead.
The last thing you saw was Tomura’s ruby red eyes looking down at you.
“I’ll protect you forever, y/n.”
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fenristheorem · 4 years ago
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New Era Lance Headcanons
I told myself I wouldn’t do this before episode 4 came out... but here I am.
I originally wanted to wait until ANE episode 4 was out to post any of my own headcanons for Lance, but I know they had a fire at one of their locations recently and that has delayed the release of the episode (my heart goes out to them), so I figured I should just go ahead and post some headcanons because I’ve been dying to do so.
~Headcanons under the cut because these are long~
General:
Twice a year, on their birthday and the anniversary of his death, Lance brings Floppy (because I theorize he adopted Floppy) to visit Valkyon’s grave. Really, this can happen at nearly any time of the year - but seeing as Lance is busy as Chief of Obsidian Guard, he can’t always make time to visit his brother’s grave. However, Lance always makes sure to find time to visit the grave with Floppy on these two special dates. He'll even specifically ask Huang Hua to try and make sure his schedule isn't too busy on these two days. He never says why, but it's not hard to guess.
Lance occasionally talks out loud... to his brother... distantly hoping that - despite the fact that he’s dead - Valk will somehow hear him and by some miracle respond to his brother. He doesn’t do this very often, only when he finds himself caught in a low moment where he feels truly isolated from everyone and the ache to have his brother by his side again echos through him like thunder through a mountain valley, but when he does it means he really needs the comfort. No one in the guard knows this about him; he makes sure that he never does this in public or where anyone could find him doing this. Valkyon’s death effected nearly everyone in the guard, but Lance was still his brother and doesn’t believe most people would understand the full extent of his regrets and, further more, his ways of coping with this great loss.
Lance never visited the re-formed crystal created by Leiftan and Erika. Not once - in all 7 years. He never felt he had the right to because this situation and all his pain was primarily caused by him and, therefore, he needs to bear the pain as part of taking responsibility for his actions. The crystal room became a symbol of hope and forging forward into a new era, and while Lance is grateful for being given a chance to redeem, he's aware that he has a long way to go before he has made up for everything he's done, if he ever could. He feels he needs to find his own hope from within and help guide the guard with it, not rely on the guard and the new crystal to provide him with hope for the future.
Romantic:
Lance is very used to being alone by now. Because of this, he keeps his romantic partner at a distance when they first start off. It’s not that he’s not interested - it’s just that he’s settling into the idea that someone actually wants to be closer to him after everything he’s done, especially the woman he threw off a cliff. He’s not entirely sure how to react to a woman finding romantic interest in him, hell he’s not even sure he deserves it. It's been years since he's allowed himself to consider romantic companionship, so he's widely used to being his own rock. However, once they’ve been together for a while, he’ll trust himself (and her) a bit more and actually allow himself to be a bit more comfortable and minorly impulsive around her. Slowly he’ll allow himself to throw a few jokes around, he’ll allow himself to share his opinion on things around her more, and he’ll find it a little easier to smile each day. Now he’s not one to hide his emotions, but he certainly keeps himself in check to avoid causing damage or pain as he's painfully aware that heavy emotions can influence people. However, this disappears when he begins to trust his partner more; he's less hesitant and more confident that she won't shun him for having strong emotions and opinions on certain things.
Once they’ve been together for a while and his romantic partner has effectively torn down the walls of isolation he built around himself, she’ll find he’s... a bit territorial. After all, he’s allowing himself to become attached to someone for the first time in years; why wouldn’t he be attentive and watchful with his newfound companion? He’s not openly aggressive towards others when jealous or feeling territorial (in the rare case that he is, as he’s learned later on in the relationship that he has nothing to be insecure about), he refuses to bring that sort of disruption to the guard, but he’s certainly not above throwing Guardienne over his shoulder (without his armor on, of course) when he’s reminded of a moment earlier in the day where another man seemed to be just a bit too interested in what she was saying. Pair that with a kind, naive smile from her and a few jokes, and perhaps an encounter with a Leiftan at some point, and you have the perfect combination for a semi-jealous ice dragon who suddenly craves attention from his lover. He’ll take her over his shoulder and saunter over to the nearby bed in who-ever’s room they’re in, lay her gently down and rest himself beside her, wrapping both arms around her and pulling her close to his chest as they settle in to stay like that for minutes to hours depending on how long they have together. She better not hope to leave anytime soon then. Unless they have somewhere to be, Lance is unlikely to let her go for any reasons; he wants her attention and he's going to get it.
Lance is an ice dragon. This is well known by now and he's proud of his heritage. However, with this also comes all the responsibility of being an ice dragon; specifically the instincts. This is also something his partner needs to learn to deal with if they hope to maintain a relationship with him, because he's certainly not about to rebuke himself for having natural instincts (unless it truly begins to become a problem or he accidentally hurts someone). These instincts can range from being very territorial and possessive at certain times and situations, to keeping a special watch on her to make sure she isn't hurt at times where she could be prone to it, or treating her like a living goddess merely because the mood strikes him and he wants to show appreciation for her presence. These are only a few examples. When do these instincts hit hardest? He's still trying to figure that out, seeing that he hasn't been with anyone for a while. However, they can effect him in different degrees. Some days he'll hold her for an extra five minutes longer before she leaves to hang out with Mathieu, Koori and Karenn, other days he'll request that Huang Hua allow him to escort her on a minor mission in the forests surrounding HQ because he wants to do everything he can to protect her and give them time alone together. If they're interrupted on their mission by someone else, Lance will be deathly quiet and still as his partner and the newcomer carry on their conversation, only speaking when spoken too, and he won't be mean, but internally he'll be quite irritated at the fact that their alone-time is being interrupted when he planned for them to be alone for a while. Ideally, his partner will pick up on his distance and wrap up the conversation, and once the newcomer leaves Lance won't hesitate to take his partner by the wrist (gently) and briskly drag her away from the direction of her conversational partner. When he feels they're far away enough, he'll abruptly turn around and press her against a tree, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face in her neck with a faint growl. The best thing his partner can do in this time is hold him. He doesn't need comfort or reassurance, he just needs time alone with her. However, that's one of the extremes of his instincts. Most of the time he acts on subtle instincts. He'll pull her into a secluded corner of the guard for a few minutes to talk privately and share a few kisses, or he'll be passing by and see something in the market that she said she needed, or perhaps he sees something he thinks she'll look good with or he knows she'll like, and then track her down after purchasing to gift his find to her. At the end of the day, he just wants her to know he appreciates her, and when the sudden urge to do something with or for her strikes he has a hard time letting it go. And while Lance is very independent and doesn't wish to oppress or suffocate his partner, his instincts can become a bit overbearing at certain times. All his partner needs to do is confide in him about this and he'll try and make them a bit more comfortable (after all, his instincts tell him to care for her before anything else) but she will need to try and tolerate this as much as possible, if it's even an issue to begin with. However, Lance is quite confident that she'll enjoy the intimate side of his instincts more often than the domestic instincts, no matter how she feels about the domestic side...
I’m considering making Lance headcanons a routine post on my page - maybe one or two posts every couple of days. I have a few more headcanons that I can post, and I’m sure I’ll have more after ep. 4 is out, but I’m always open to writing specific headcanons upon request.
Have a request? Ask them here!
But first, please read the rules list for asks!
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spacecadetal · 4 years ago
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fireworks
kakashi hatake/fem!reader
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word count: 2774 warnings: descriptions of violence, descriptions of blood, descriptions of killing, alcohol use author notes: i wanted to write something a little different than i usually would i kinda got a little tired of my wips lol
the first time i saw him, i was eight years old with a shy curiosity about the world. long story short, his shoulder collided with my own. he wasn’t watching where he was going and neither was i, the hard jolt gave me such a fright that i yelled at him to watch where he was going. i had too much pride to admit i was at fault, lost in a daydream once again. he shared my reaction and my sentiment. saying i should watch myself too with great annoyance in his tone. i scoffed, he huffed, we went our separate ways.
i had always heard his name but never connected the dots until i was much older but still not much wiser. he was a prodigy, i was painfully just above average. as a bright eyed genin, i was out in the world and only starting to understand the true meaning of the path i chose at the naive age of six. his squad was babysitting my own on a mission. his mentor stands next to mine and introduces us and my face sours immediately. unlike him i don’t have a mask to hide it. he avoids me for the whole mission but his teammates are nice.
his red eye was making waves around the world, he was a myth and enemies across the land waited in anticipation for the day to come where they could finally see it in the flesh. great gain had come with great loss, i’m sure he wishes the second hand eye was back with its original owner. i remember the first time i saw him lift up his headband and expose it to the world. the blood red eye and it’s black swirls, chills shoot down my spine like pins and needles. engaging with an enemy was pure violence, animalistic and messy yet he made it seem so graceful. 
the pines and the dark forest disappear before my eyes; now he stands on a wooden stage with his foe, dancing under a spotlight. every dodge and weave is smooth and flawless. his strikes felt as natural and as quick as a snake striking at its prey. i watch his performance with a disregard for my own safety and when the last of our enemies hit the dirt, i wait for him to bow. instead he shakes the blood off his kunai and the famous eye is tucked away under his headband. i think i fell in love with him that afternoon.
the girl who died, her name was rin and that one time her team babysat mine, she braided my hair by a campfire and said i had a pretty name. she didn't deserve to die. they whisper about him when he walks by, terrible nasty things. but i smile at him, wave to him when i see him and hope it makes him feel less alone in the world. he sees it and he averts his gaze without reply or acknowledgement. rejection makes my chest tighten, if only slightly. naturally i assume he doesn’t like me, maybe he doesn’t like anyone. 
i'm in a village with my squad for a mission, it’s small but the green tea in the wooden cup and the smell of rabbit stew on the stovetop makes me feel at home. the excited teenage boy asks me about the things i've seen. the only thing he knows is chopping wood and shearing sheep. he asks me about a rumour he’s heard by a traveller about the boy that conjures lightning in his hand, he asks me if i've seen it before in the flesh. i smile and nod and confirm that i have. he asks me to describe it. i don't know how to at first.
first, you hear the static snapping and popping and it captures your attention instantly. then the pale blue light grows bigger and bigger in his hand, it takes on a life of its own and i won’t lie and say that it doesn’t make my heart beat out of my chest but he tames it like a wild beast, he has complete control. if you stand off to the side, you can watch the show. lightning surrounds him but he is never burnt. he’s like a god when he strikes, i've never seen something so terrifying but beautiful. he's beautiful. but i don’t tell the teenage boy that and i dont tell him that sometimes the loud crackle of his chidori haunts me when im alone. 
when i'm a chunnin, i feel much older than i am. it's not due to the title of my rank but because i keep plunging my kunai into grown men’s hearts and have to pretend it doesn’t faze me to see blood squirting from punctured arteries. i don't see him around the village much anymore. he lives in the darkness, in the shadows but sometimes he comes out into the light. he's grown so much older and taller and i think he looks handsome in his gear. toned arms and biceps and that tattoo on his left upper arm, the one that tells the world where his loyalties lie. walking past him, i prepare to feel the chill of his icy demeanor but i say his name, wave and smile. the only one of his eyes that sees the world widens and the veins of his arms bulge at my greeting, i can’t see his hands because they’re stuffed in his pockets. he always looks away but this time, for the smallest of seconds, he nods in my direction and then he is gone.
when the nine tailed beast attacks the village, i am kept away from the battle in a forest with the rest of the ninja around my age. he’s there, standing by his friend who talks and talks. i like his friend, he always greets me with enthusiasm. i try to ignore the sounds of my village being destroyed and the screams of the unfortunate dying people as i am powerless to do anything. my eyes move on their own in his direction only to find he has the same idea. for a moment, air leaves my lungs and i nod politely before i look away. his eyes meet mine one, two, three times. that night my home was buried under a mountain of rock and rubble and he lost the last person that knew the true extent of the damage this world had inflicted on him. 
the elderly lady at the stall with the hair clips told me i've grown into a beautiful young lady and i blush at her comment and insist it isn’t so. she tells me i must have a lot of boys' attention and i buy the deep blue hair clip with the faux sapphire gem. it stands out in my dark hair. it's been a long time since my house was crushed and a long time since he’s sat in the dango store with his friends but here’s there when i walk by. the compliment has me on cloud nine and i'm glad he’s not alone anymore. i smile at the group, say ‘ hey guys ’ and wave. for a millisecond my eye catches his as i'm walking by and my mind plays tricks on me. i think i see his cheeks tinge red.
kurenai came up to me one summer's morning and asked if i was attending the festival. i told her i was but likely alone. maybe i wasn’t such a pretty girl, no fish ever nibbled on the hook of the fishing pole i cast into the waters. her boyfriend looked bored as we spoke and her crimson eyes smile when she brings up the boy with the silver hair’s name, pretending she doesn’t notice my breath hitch for the slightest of moments. ‘ you should ask him, he’s not going with anyone either ’ she tells me and then she drags her boyfriend away. i sit alone on the cliffs for an hour thinking it through, my knees up to my chin as i wonder why she would suggest such a thing. iwashi is pissed that i'm twenty minutes late to meet up with them.
his group joins up with mine hours later and i greet him as i always do. he stands off to the side and plays with his hands and every time i catch his eye he looks as if he wants to say something to me. they say love feels like butterflies but when my eyes meets his, those butterflies turn into angry bees. i want to say something to him too, ask him where his friend got the idea that i should ask him to go with me but the bees within me sting and their venom prevents me from opening my mouth. i avert my gaze and pretend to listen to genma when he talks about his favourite order of ramen. 
we all part ways but we’re together again within the hour and i'm waiting nervously at the spot kurenai told me to come back to. my yukata is the colour of lapis and white periwinkles decorate the sleeves and i wonder if i look plain compared to the girls around me dressed in passionate pinks, gentle purples, and bold reds. he doesn’t see me at first but i see him. his yukata is dark grey with light thin stripes and it compliments his bright silver hair wonderfully. it’s the first time i've seen his hair down and his long strands are wild and stick out all over the place, i think i fall in love with him all over again. hes alone and i don’t dare to approach but he finally sees me. he waves, i nod. he's so handsome that i can’t stand to look at him so i don’t.
it’s dark and explosions of many colours light up the sky. i'm so distracted by the loud boom echoing off the hills and the blue, red, white and green lights on a black landscape that i don’t notice he's standing right beside me watching it too. knuckles lightly brush against my own, my chest tightens at the sensation. it’s distracting enough that i tear my eyes away from the sky show. they’re as wide as a possum when i meet his gaze. he doesn’t say anything, he just stares for a moment before he looks back at the fireworks. it was an accident and i forgive and forget but then his fingers awkwardly hook around my own, clinging for dear life. i cannot look, i cannot think nor speak. i hold my breath and blink rapidly while i cling onto his fingers just as tightly. when the fireworks are finished, we consider each other in silence for a minute. his hand leaves mine and we part ways without a word.
every time i see him, i see fireworks and feel the ghost of his fingers wrap around my own. he acknowledges me and we’re rarely left alone around each other; when we are we do not speak of it. we lean against a railing side by side and watch our friends fool around. courageously i say to him that the weather is nice today and he nods in agreement before his friend calls him over. when he leaves my side, his knuckles brush past mine once more. i jump in surprise and tell myself it was another forgivable accident but then he glances back at me as he walks away and i can’t be too sure. 
i am frozen still in a shrub waiting for the enemy to pass by. the sound of my heartbeat in my ears is so loud but suddenly it is replaced with the familiar crackle of electricity that haunted my dreams for the longest of times. when i turn around i see a man gasping for life, holding on tightly to the kunai i imagined would have been plunged into the nape of my neck if it wasn’t for the ball of lightning sizzling away in his chest. the man’s body drops to the ground and i finally see him standing there in the man’s place, his lower arm is soaked with blood from the fatal strike. he takes my hand and helps me onto my feet. that famous red eye is hiding behind a porcelain hound mask and he asks me if i'm okay. i assure him i am and thank him, he nods his head in reply and walks away. i don’t mind that he’s left my hand stained with our enemy’s blood. 
when i am given the rank of jonin i am months away from being twenty. i’m not allowed to drink just yet but my older friends buy bottles of sake to share in the park and i accept the invitation without giving it much thought. it’s sweet on my tongue and goes down smoothly, the aftertaste reminds me of potatoes for some strange reason i can’t put my finger on. i drink and i drink until half a bottle is gone and my cheeks are red and i laugh too loudly at asuma’s lame jokes. the stars are beautiful tonight but they just look like streaks of light in my blurry vision. i lay in the grass, my head feels light and my stomach slightly churns. out of nowhere he is in my line of sight, standing over me with a touch of concern on the features that aren’t hidden away. he asks me if i'm okay and i say i'm just fine and i think to myself that i'm glad to see him. 
when he takes me home, he lectures his friends that i'm too young to get drunk and they reply that i'll be old enough in a couple of months and it doesn’t make that much of a difference. he doesn’t mind my drunken babbling and how my head leans on his shoulder as we walk slowly through the dimly lit streets. his grip around my waist is tight and i try not to say something foolish like the way he fights is a form of art or that i want him to hold my hand again. he drops me off at the door and leaves once i am inside safely. i pass out that night thinking of the ways i want to be his.
i am twenty one when he leaves the anbu and i see him on the streets alone. his nose is in a book and he doesn’t notice as i walk by. i fight the urge to turn around and ask him how he’s going, i’ll be late to meet up with my old squad to train if i do. later when i walk home, i stare off into the distance and think about making dinner and sharpening my collection of kunai when i collide with something hard. i jump out of fright at the impact, ready to snap when two hands land on my shoulders to secure me in place. we’re not kids anymore and he smiles at me and apologises even when i'm at fault. i ask him how he’s been and he says he’s been just fine. he walks me home and we talk about missions and his new role as a squad leader. on my doorstep he says he’ll see me around and then he is gone and i am left greedily wanting more of his time.
one day when we are standing alone he tells me he is in love with me. it is is out of the blue and i brush it off with laugher, telling him he couldn’t possibly be; he takes my hand in his and insists it’s true. he tells me that he has been since the moment i collided with him in the street when he was ten years old. that when the world was unkind to him, i provided enough kindness to keep him going, all in a smile and a greeting. it is everything i have wanted to hear and more. the angry swarm of bees are back and i am stung over and over again. he can tell that i'm paralysed so his lips fall gently onto mine and it allows me to say the things i cannot utter out loud. my eyes are closed and i can see the very same fireworks from the night our fingers touched. when he breaks away from me he says we should get out of here and wordlessly i agree. we walk in the streets of the village and i am unsure of the destination he has in mind. his fingers are wrapped around mine.
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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 5 years ago
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Irreconcilable
Warnings: nonconsent sex, violence.
This is dark!Steve and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: You and Steve come to a breaking point but he’s not ready to let you go.
Note: My current kink is Steve Rogers being a bad motherfucker with a hint of insanity. Like he really coming in hot here. Oh and he got a touch of breeding kink. Enjoy <3
Thank you. Love you guys!
Please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3
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You had come a long way since you were a naive SHIELD agent mooning over the one and only Steve Rogers. You were no longer an agent, you had married Steve Rogers, and now you were divorcing Steve Rogers. Five years went by in a flash and yet it felt like an eternity. It was like you were starting over again.
New job, new house, new you. Just you. Alone.
It was a breath of fresh air. You had spent so long in denial that acceptance felt like freedom. In the two years of wedded misery you spent with Steve, you had convinced yourself it was bliss. Something about that ring had changed him and he had expected you to change too.
Well you did, just not how he wanted. 
It was subtle at first. He was still sweet and your honeymoon was immaculate. When you got home, back in the thick of things, he started to grow irritable. At home, on missions, in bed. First, it started with a breakfast you failed to cook. Then he didn’t think you should be working so much as he was eager to start a family. The revelation that you were in no such hurry, further agitated him. And when it came to intimacy…
When you were just dating, he was doting, gentle, diligent. He worshipped you and made you feel beautiful. Then he turned relentless. Foreplay dwindled to a slap on the ass and a growled order. On nights you denied him, for a headache or some report you had to read, he slept on the couch. And when you didn’t reject him, it was as if he was intent upon hurting you. Punishing you for daring to defy him.
And when you tried to talk it out, there was nothing to talk about. He grew silent and restless. He didn’t have the patience to stay and delve into whatever had turned him so cruel. He had work to do or at least, something better. 
And he attended a single counseling session before he stormed out and declared it nonsense. In his day, couples made it work, through thick and thin. Well, in his day, husbands also got away with slapping around their wives and children. You liked to think that the new century had improved upon the formula.
Then his missions grew longer and he started going out with the boys a little too often. Sam and Bucky liked to have a beer now and then but you’d never known them to keep fratboy hours. You couldn’t disprove Steve’s plans but you also couldn’t be certain of them. You guessed he was cheating but you didn’t need the excuse to get out. You were already done.
So you went to Stark and Fury and discussed your departure. They agreed not to tell Steve while you figured things out. Then you went to a lawyer and drew up the papers. You didn’t want anything, just out. And, you suspected, Steve didn’t want you anymore either. 
You waited until you got a position as head of security at a government office downtown. Well-paying and respectable. Fury’s referral had gone a long way. A desk job was a dream after years of fieldwork. It was all going to be different and you were finally ready for the change.
Steve was due home from his latest mission at four. It was already seven and the boxes had already been packed up and taken to your new condo. You would let him keep the furniture. Still, the house looked empty… well, it had for a while now.
You paced across the front room for another hour and at last you heard his car. A month ago, you’d be ready to tear into him. Ready to rant and rave until your head hurt. Not anymore. You had no energy left for this relationship.
He came in quietly. He stopped short as he entered the living room. He looked around and sighed. His hands went to his hips. The Captain stance. His eyes turned deadly as he looked at you. You quit your pacing and crossed to the coffee table. You took the large envelope and went to him. You held it out.
“Everything is yours,” You said as he stared at the envelope. “Clean break. I don’t want anything. Just out.”
“What?” He brushed past the envelope and walked the perimeter of the room. “You can’t be serious.”
“Steve, you know this isn’t working.” You followed him. “We’re both miserable.”
“No, you’re miserable,” He turned on you. “I’ve only been trying to help you and you just sit there and sulk. And now you’re-- you’re trying to divorce me.”
“I am divorcing you,” You pushed the envelope to his chest. “This doesn’t have to be difficult.”
“You made a vow--”
“Jesus, Steve, this isn’t 1366,” You huffed. “I can’t live like this anymore. I won’t.”
He was silent as his jaw ticked. He backed away and crossed his arms.
“You know I still love you right,” He said quietly.
“And? Love can’t fix whatever this is,” You insisted. “Steve, come on, this doesn’t have to be difficult. You sign and it’s done. Take it to a lawyer, you’ll see it’s a good break. You get the house, the furniture, everything. We leave with what we came with; you get more than that.”
He spun back. He had the grace to look hurt.
“Think about this, please,” He pleaded, “You don’t want to do this.”
“Steve, you won’t talk to me, you won’t listen to me, what is there left to think about?” You asked. “It’s done. We’re done. You think I haven’t been thinking about this for months?”
He nodded and his jaw squared. His brows drew together and he tilted his head as he stared at the envelope in your hand.
“Fine,” He conceded. “I’ll take it to my lawyer…”
“I’m sorry, Steve,” You tried to near him and he turned his back on you again. You set it on the coffee table instead. “It’s just here, okay?”
“If you were sorry, you would try,” He growled. “Oh, and let me tell you, this will not be easy.” He peered over his shoulder, “I’ll make sure of that.”
The anger in his voice startled you. You swallowed and backed away from the table. You took your purse and your jacket in the deathly lull that followed. Steve didn’t move as he stared at the artificial fireplace.
“Goodbye, Steve,” You said as you hovered in the doorway.
“Get out,” He sneered. “Trust me, this isn’t goodbye.”
💍
Your last day at Stark Tower was the same day you served Steve the papers. You had planned it so delicately but you knew now he would not go along with it. Not peacefully. You spent your weekend unpacking and on Monday began your new position in the city. 
You were only a block away from the Tower but you avoided the area. Tony and Fury promised not to tell Steve where you were working. You suspected that wouldn’t go well for them but you trusted them. They’d faced much worse than a bitter Steve Rogers.
Coming home to your new place was no different than before. What was different was that you could breath. There was no oppressive shadow hovering over you. You opened a bottle of wine and turned on the series that Steve always complained was too vapid. He couldn’t say anything now. He could sit and watch his dry war documentaries as he preened over any mention of himself. He sure was up his own ass.
You fell asleep on the couch. You woke and repeated the same day. It all became routine and you slipped easily into the single life. Single and unwilling to mingle. 
Woven into your newly found serenity, was a thread of insecurity. Steve’s promise echoed in your head as you closed your eyes at night. “This will not be easy”. You found yourself staring at your phone as you waited for the call from your lawyer. It didn’t come for a whole month. Steve wanted a deposition. It was to be scheduled for the next week.
You set your phone down and sighed. Of course. You knew it. He wanted to be messy and surely he knew the extra lawyer fees wouldn’t make this any easier. You couldn’t fathom, however, what else he could want from you. Your settlement had swayed heavily in his favour. Well, you could guess he wanted the final word. A final victory.
Captain America never failed.
You’d have to book the day off and only a month into the job. You were sure they’d understand. Your superiors were few and your team was competent. It only annoyed you how even now, Steve could get in the way of your work.
Well, better to get it done and over with. Maybe when it was all signed and sealed, you could leave New York. It would be terribly difficult to find another job and the city had grown dull. These were his streets, his people. You would just be the woman who walked out on the first Avenger.
💍
You sat in the stiff plastic chair and stared through the clear glass wall of the deposition room. The court reporter was within, readying for the meeting. Your lawyer, Donald Calliers, was beside you and tried to calm you down with assurances that it was nothing more than a formality. There was no reason for this to go beyond a single day and he didn’t suspect much would change in the settlement.
Steve arrived ten minutes before the meeting was to begin. You peeked at him, hoping he wouldn’t catch you. He had grown out his beard and his hair was getting long. He looked very much unlike the man you’d married, albeit he was well-kempt and put together for the occasion. He was accompanied by three lawyers. That made your stomach drop.
“Three lawyers?” You whispered to Donald. “Is that bad?”
“It’s a show. Trust me. I run depositions in my sleep. No one needs that amount of representation at these things. Quality over quantity.” He said under his breath.
“I hope your right,” You replied. “I don’t think I can afford three of you.”
“Good thing there’s only one of me,” He kidded. “One of a kind.”
You forced a small laugh and tried not to fidget. You had barely been able to keep still before Steve showed up, and now you felt as if your entire body was shaking. You could feel his eyes on you and hear his own low whispers to his lawyers.
The door opened and saved you from sinking into doubt. Steve and his team stood and waited for you to enter first. You sat on the far side of the table and they took the seats across from you. The court reporter took the chair at the head of the table and cleared his throat. He swore each of you in and signalled the beginning of the deposition. Steve’s lawyers allowed no delay.
“Mrs. Rogers,” The tall blonde woman with the square jaw, Ms. Lauer, began.  “We’ll start with your monthly expenses.”
Donald shuffled through his folder and slid over the copies of your statements. The lawyers read over them and nodded as they made notes.
“And on average, thinking of only you, how often do you travel throughout the year for pleasure?” Another lawyer asked. This one a bald man called Mr. Harin.
“Once, maybe. I tend to work more than I vacation,” You answered.
“And how often do you dine out?” The third asked; Mr. Pollard.
“Couple times a month, maybe,” You avoided Steve’s gaze as it never wavered. He seemed not to even hear the questions or your answers.
“And your debt? You have any credit card debt? And outstanding loans owing?”
“I have a card I am currently paying off but it’s only a couple hundred owing,” You replied evenly. This was ridiculous. Was he really going to try to fleece you? He still made more than you did.
“And you cited irreconcilable differences on your papers,” Harin said. “We would ask what exactly these differences are?”
You looked at Steve and the angles of his face hardened.
“It’s not much of a marriage when you never see each other and when you do, you don’t talk,” You said. “And when you do communicate, it is nothing short of hostile.”
“Oh, and would you classify this hostility as abuse?” Pollard asked.
“No, not really,” You answered. “Just unhealthy and unbearable.”
“So you would file on the grounds of irretrievable breakdown but as our client would state, any such breakdown has not been evident for the required period.” Harin intoned. “In fact, he say you’ve surprised him with such a claim and you would cite no other valid grounds for the divorce.”
“Our marriage has been little more than a shell for the last year,” You said. “As I’ve been informed, it is only six months required to make a claim.”
“But you never made such a claim to your husband, thus how could he recognize and try to reconcile these differences?” Lauer prodded.
“I did. I have a statement from a counselour that confirms that were seeking help nine months ago,” You insisted. 
“We have seen that but you did not attend further after that instance.” Harin argued.
“And… he wouldn’t go,” You accused. “He wouldn’t try any sort of reconciliation.”
“And do you have proof of his refusal?” Lauer asked.
You looked to Donald who shifted in his chair. “It is not required to have proof of this claim,” He said. “She did recognize that the relationship was declining and she made a visible effort to amend that.”
“Once in two years,” Harin countered. “And she would not claim abuse or inhumane cruelty and we’ve heard no mention of adultery.”
“It does not invalidate her claims of irreconcilable differences. You might refer to their schedules and the amount of time they spent apart.” Donald retorted.
“Occupational absence does not account for personal neglect,” Pollard said.
“So…” You looked along the line of lawyers.
“This settlement you’ve offered is completely invalid. There are no grounds for it.” Lauer stated.
“But...but…”
“We cannot allow our client to sign these papers knowing them to be of such questionable validity thus we ask that you withdraw the claim.” Pollard declared. “We have faith that your lawyer is competent enough to agree with us.”
Donald frowned and turned to you. You spun your chair around as he leaned over and whispered quietly. “They’re right.”
“But they can’t disprove my claims,” You hissed.
“Sure but that’s not their job. If we went before a judge, we’d be overruled easily.” He explained. “You’ll have to sign a separation first and wait a year. If it was uncontested, sure, I’d have you out by the end of the week but he’s putting up a fight.”
“A year?” You shook your head.
“Separated. You just have to live apart for a year. No contact required but you have to maintain residency in the state.” 
“Really?”
“We can probably get it signed today, I’m sure,” Donald assured. “It’s the best we can hope for.”
“Fine. If it’s a means to and end.”
You turned back and Donald reached for his briefcase and shuffled around.
“My client proposes that instead of the settlement, that an order of separation might be more appropriate for the circumstance.” Donald said. “Would your client agree?”
Steve looked to Harin and gave a single nod. He wasn’t happy.
“Alright, we’ll have it drawn up and faxed over to your offices to be signed by the end of the week.” Donald said. “Is that agreeable?”
“It is,” Lauer accepted. “In the meantime, we would ask that your client prepares a full statement of her expenses over the next year and we would also require a report of her personal activities within the last year of her marriage.”
“Personal activities?” You said.
“Our client has his own accounted for. We only wish to cover our bases.”
You shrugged and Donald agreed to it. You couldn’t look at Steve. You knew what he was implying. He thought you were unfaithful or was at least petty enough to raise the accusation.
“Are we done here?” You whispered.
💍
Another month and even more wine. Your days had grown endless. When you were at work, you could forget about your legal connection to the asshole who chose to make your nights a living hell. Ever since your failed deposition, he had broken his silence.
It started with a text. Sweet, even. ‘I miss you, we should think this through.’ That was until the separation was finalized. Then they turned nasty; ‘you won’t get away that easily’; ‘we’ll see if you last a year’. Then you changed your number and deleted his. 
That was when it all caught up to you. Your marriage had failed, you’d had to flip your entire life because of him, and now you were all alone in a condo that was way too big for just you. And you couldn’t leave the state until this was all over.
You were awoken one night by the chiming of your phone. You could still the acrid wine on your tongue as you reached for it. A video call? You answered in your sleepy haze and were stunned by the image that met you. The loud slapping that rose from the speakers and the low purr of some unknown woman. Her wavy auburn hair spilled over her shoulders as her round ass clapped against a pelvis. You recognized the hand that gripped her hip.
“This should be you,” Steve said from behind the camera. “Fuck, I wish it was.”
You hung up and fumbled with the phone. It fell onto the floor as you sat up. You turned on the lamp and pressed your palms to the side of your head. What the fuck was that? You let out a grunt of frustration as you heard the phone ringing again. You picked it up and declined the call. You couldn’t block the private number.
You silenced your phone and shoved it in your dresser. You went to the kitchen and got a glass of water. You felt sick to your stomach. You knew you wouldn’t be able to sleep. Not after that. So you went to the couch and turned on Netflix. It would be a long day at work.
💍
You slept for about an hour before your alarm blared from the other room. You stumbled off the couch to slap the clock and retrieved your phone from the drawer. You gather your clothes for the day and made your coffee. You sat with the steaming mug and unlocked your phone. He’d sent a video. It played automatically. It showed him coming down the woman’s thigh. You deleted it and grumbled at your coffee. 
What the fuck was wrong with him?
You rubbed the sleep from your eyes and forced yourself to get dressed. If he called again, you wouldn’t answer. You’d have to change your number; again.
The office was quiet. Thankfully. You had another coffee as you went over logistics and kept an eye on the screen mounted in the corner that showed you every camera in the building. You liked having the view. An alert went up for the bank down the street and you keyed in the response measures. It was a faulty trip.
You looked back to the cameras and your chair almost rolled out from under you. It couldn’t be. You got up and walked to the screen. Steve was just down the hall by the receptionist's desk. Several of your employees were gathered around him. You could hear their voices through your door.
“Fuck,” You swore and thought of locking your office. 
You slipped out into the hall and sneaked down to the bathroom instead. You listened against the door as fragments floated through the air. ‘THE Captain America?’ ‘So honoured to meet you’...
You waited twenty minutes before it all died down. The silence that followed was eerie and you slowly cracked open the door to peer down at your office. You didn’t see anyone. You let out a long breath and stepped out. You tiptoed along and peered down towards the receptionist. All had gone back to their work but chattered here and there about their visitor.
You opened your office door and he was there. He sat in your chair as he swung the seat back and forth. He smirked at you. You blinked and let the door fall closed behind you.
“What are you doing here?” You asked.
“Just wanted to see the new gig,” He said. “Must be boring pent up in here all day.”
“Not at all,” You crossed your arms. “Steve, leave.”
“Come on, don’t you miss it?” He ignored you. “You remember how it used to be in the field? You remember when I fucked you on the jet? Or maybe at that little party where we were supposed to be posing as arms dealers. Tight space but we made it work.”
“What is wrong with you?” You marched over to your desk and leaned on it as you glared at him. “You need to go. Now. This is my job.”
“Wouldn’t mind having a go here,” He put his foot up on your desk and crossed his other leg over. “Bend you over. You think you could keep quiet?”
“Steve.” You hissed. “I mean it, go. I work in security. Don’t make me call them.”
“I’m sure they’re all too eager to escort me out,” He taunted. “You really think they would? After I signed their mugs and ridiculous posters.”
“I’ll call the police then,” You said.
“False reports can get you a hefty fine, even some time,” He leaned back in your chair. “Unless you truly think they’ll listen to you?”
“Why are you doing this?” You asked.
“Because you still think you’re going to get away,” He said. “And I assure you that last night was just a taste of what I have planned for you.”
“Steve…”
“Steve,” He mimicked breathily, “’Oh, Steve, harder, harder’… I miss that.”
“Well, I don’t,” You sneered. “Last night was disgusting. You are disgusting.” You stared at him. “What happened to you?”
“What happened to us?” He pulled his feet from the desk and sat up. “You said you would be with me forever. You are my wife.”
“Not for much longer, Steve,” You said. “Stop making this worse for yourself.”
“Oh, I’m having a hell of a time,” He stood slowly. “And let me tell you this, that girl, meant nothing. A toy to me. You… oh, I’ll make sure you have something to remember me by.” He rounded the desk. “I’ll make sure you’re never rid of me.”
You reached around blindly as you turned to him and grabbed your stapler. You hit the release as he got closer and held it up shakily.
“Don’t come near me,” You said. “Go.”
“Or what?” He took another step.
“Steve,” You warned.
“Oh, I just want a little fun. How about--”
He tried to grab you and you lunged at him. You hit the stapler as it met his chest and he barely flinched. You pulled it back and held it by the bottom and swung it again. This time, you smacked him in the shoulder and his jaw ticked.
“You’re getting rusty,” He laughed as he knocked the stapler from your hands. 
“Steve,” You backed away and he stopped suddenly.
He looked you up and down and pulled out his phone. He lifted a brow and tucked it away.
“Damn, looks like I’m already running late,” He sighed. “Tony’s not gonna be too pleased but… I’ll let him know you say hi.” He headed for the door as you watched him in terror. “Oh, and… I did mean it. Til death do us part.”
💍
You didn’t see Steve again. A whole week passed and the only hint of his existence were the texts you didn’t read. Ten and a half months to go. You could do it. He was just playing with you. Trying to change your mind. He would admit defeat as soon as the final paper was signed. He had to.
You got home and uncorked your Friday night wine. You’d been abstaining for a while as you didn’t want to make it a habit but you were so on edge, you needed to just chill. You poured a healthy glass and pulled a throw over your shoulders as you sank into the couch. You really didn’t mind living alone.
You almost finished the bottle and laid back on the sofa. You were cozy in the heat of the wine and the fuzzy blanket. You dozed off as soon as the theme of the next episode stopped playing. You floated in a haze and your eyes opened only as a shadow passed on the other side.
You sat up dizzily and glanced around. You gripped your spinning head as you stood and clumsily walked around your front room. It was likely just the television. You shook your head and told yourself it was nothing. You were drunk and falling asleep in front of a screen often left you restless.
You fell back down onto the couch and leaned into it. You skipped the episode back, suddenly awake. Slowly, the alcohol dragged you down and you began to slump against the cushions. Your head began to loll and you felt a warmth brush over your cheek.
“A place like this must get lonely,” Steve’s voice startled you as his breath tickled your skin.
You tried to jump up and caught you below your arms and pulled you back over the couch. You wrestled with him as your vision wobbled. You flailed and kicked as his arm slipped up and he wrapped it around your neck. He squeezed until a weight settled in your limbs and he slowly lowered you to the floor.
“It’s okay, honey,” He slithered as the void welcomed you. “You won’t be lonely anymore.”
💍
You awoke slowly. Your head was heavy from excess. You knew the place but it wasn’t your condo. You laid in the bed you once shared with Steve. You groaned as you stretched your arm across the mattress. It was just you. You sat up and found Steve watching you.
He stood from the chair near the window and you quickly rolled to the other edge of the bed. He jumped across and caught you before you could take another step. He pulled you back and turned so that you were pinned beneath him. You screamed and he covered your mouth.
“I’ve done a lot since you left. A lot of time to think,” He said. “Soundproofing, renovations, redecorating.”
You mumbled into his palm and he rolled his hips against you. 
“All for you.” He snarled. “I’ve waited too long.”
You tried to peel his hand away from your lips and he only clung tighter.
“I got the nursery done though. It’s nice. I think you’ll like it,” He continued. “The only thing I haven’t done is thought of names.”
You finally pried his hand down to your chin and gasped. “Steve, please…”
“I think this might just be the reconciliation we need,” He said. “Don’t you?”
“No,” You begged. “No, Steve, get off--”
“I don’t think you were meant to be a wife. You were meant to be a mommy,” He nuzzled your head. 
“Steve, stop. Get off of me right now. Or--”
“Or what? Doesn’t look good when the soon-to-be ex-wife breaks into her spouse’s house.” He growled. “Something like that, that could lose you your job and it definitely wouldn’t look could in a deposition.”
“Steve,” You sobbed. “You’re hurting me.”
“You hurt me!” He snapped. “You understand?! You hurt me and you’re not going to take my life from me.” 
He pushed himself off you roughly and grabbed the back of your neck as he pulled you up after him. He turned you to him and gripped your head between his large hands.
“You’ll find someone else. Someone who can give you that life, Steve,” You begged. “It’s just not me.”
“It is you.” He sneered. “Only you.”
“Please, don’t--”
“Shut up,” He shouted. “I’m done talking with you. You never listened to me. Ever.” He shoved you away. “So you’re going to listen now.”
You glanced at the door and he caught your chin and turned you back to him.
“You think you can get out of this room? Think you can get past me?” He challenged.
You stared at him and your heart sank. Fight as you might, you could never beat the Captain. He was always one step ahead; in the field and off.
“Answer me,” He rescinded his hand and slapped you across the cheek. “Now.”
You were stunned by the force of the strike. You stumbled back and tears rose in your eyes.
“St-Steve…” You stammered but his eyes were distant. “No, I can’t.” You admitted weakly. “You know I can’t.”
“Finally talking some sense,” He smirked. “Now, we’ll start easy.”
Your lips parted but you didn’t know what else to say. You hung your head. A silent surrender.
“I didn’t hear you,” He mocked. You looked up at him confused. “That’s a ‘yes, husband’.”
You blinked at him. Your lip trembled as you forced the words out and he shuddered in delight.
“Now, you can undress me first.” He said.
You uttered another ‘yes, husband’ and crossed to him. You lifted his tee and he bent to help you sweep it over his head. His eyes never left you. You shakily undid his jeans and you gulped back a sob. It felt like the first time again, except you were shaking from excitement. This was fear.
When at last you bared him of his briefs, he was hard. He stroked himself without shame and rubbed the tip against your shirt. 
“Your turn,” He said.
You stripped a piece at a time. It was mechanical, instinctual. You didn’t think as you dropped your clothes on the floor. You stood before him entirely vulnerable. Naked. You had loved this man once, but you weren’t sure he had ever loved you. Only wanted what he could get out of you. Be it his pleasure, some reassurance of his insecurities, or the life he’d romanticized for so long.
“Turn around,” He commanded and you obeyed with a ‘yes, husband’. He hummed at that. He pushed on your shoulders until you bent. “Grab your ankles… and stay like that.”
He went to the closet and returned. He held straps you’d never seen before. Your sex had never been bland but he’d never gone beyond the usual. Never wanted toys or lube; just you. He secured your wrists to your ankles. He lifted your chin and looked into your eyes.
“I’m gonna fuck you like never before. For all those times I slept on that goddamn couch,” He pushed his mouth against yours. “I’m done holding back.”
He stood and rounded you. He slapped your ass and you almost fell. He steadied you and pushed your feet apart as far as they could go. You were entirely imbalanced, barely able to keep yourself up. His hands slipped down your thighs and back up and he gripped your hips.
He pressed against you and wiggled his hips as his cock rubbed against your ass. 
“It didn’t have to be like this,” He growled. “You made it this way.”
You shook your head and stayed silent. He was too far gone. Whatever you said would only anger him further.
He reached between you and pushed his cock down to your cunt. He eased into you an inch at a time. Your walls resisted him as you were unprepared for the intrusion. As he got further in, it hurt more and more. You whined and he cursed as he slapped your ass so hard it stung.
“Come on, honey,” He bucked his hips and filled you entirely. You cried out at the pain. “I know you can take it.”
He thrust against and you shook. He rocked his hips until your body reacted. Each delve inside grew easier as your arousal leaked from your core. He kept you moving steadily along his cock as his groans swirled around you. His pelvis clapped against your ass.
“Yeah, yeah, this is what I wanted,” He breathed. “This is what I imagined. Only you…”
He moved you against him as his grunts grew deeper and deeper. Your legs trembled and he held your waist tighter as he slammed you back against him. His thrusts turned slower but sharper. He inched your foot forward with his and then the other. He walked you over to the bed until your faced was pressed to the mattress.
He rutted into you harder. You yelped into the bed and seemed riled from the sound.
“Louder! Louder!” He demanded, speeding up until you cried out again and again. “Oh fuck, honey, I missed us so much.” He kneaded your ass hungrily. “Maybe if you had let me fuck you like this before, you never would’ve made such a stupid mistake.”
He sank into you completely and stopped. He pulled out of you but only to flip you onto the bed. You landed on your back awkwardly and bent your legs as they remained bound to your wrist. He climbed up swiftly and was upon you in a moment. He entered you easily and snaked his arms around your thighs as he caught his rhythm.
You bit your lip as you felt your core swelling. He reached down and pressed his thumb against your clit. You squeaked in surprise and his hips moved faster. You mewled as he swirled around your bud and gritted your teeth against the rise.
“Cum for me,” He said. “I know you can, honey.”
You grunted as you couldn’t help but climax. Your walls pulsed around his cock and you quivered violently. Your muscles ached terribly from how you were tangled beneath him and he sped up once more. He curled your back as he raised himself on his knees and lifted your ass off the bed. You felt as if you fold in on yourself.
“Fuck, fuck, you’re going to look so good…” His hand crawled up and spread over your stomach. “With my baby inside of you.”
You closed your eyes and turned your head away.
“Here it comes, honey,” He rasped. “I’m gonna cum… I’m gonna fill you up.”
He exclaimed and you felt his release as it seeped into you. His hips moved spasmodically against you as he slowly lowered your ass and leaned back on his heels as he stilled. He let out a deep snarl and squeezed your thigh.
“Mmmm, I can’t wait…”” He hummed and rubbed your stomach. “I can’t wait to see you grow.”
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like-rain-or-confetti · 4 years ago
Text
Unavoidable bonds. (Alec Volturi x reader)
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It was nothing at first, or at least in your eyes. Alec was a strange person who was very closed off and by pure luck, he was somewhat kind to you. He wasn't hostile as you had come to expect. The Cullen's had told you awful things about the Volturi, Alec included but you found it easier to hate him when he wasn't around. However now that he was, it was almost impossible. Not to mention that everyone seemed to know something you didn't. None of who were willing to tell you. Eventually you stopped asking and thought nothing of it, all the while becoming more acquainted with Alec. You got small smiles from him, each one you had earned. 
After some time, you had formed some kind of friendship with him, although you tried to ignore the pull of wanting more. You figured it was just curiosity of being in the presence of someone so mysterious and dangerous. 
For reasons unknown, you began to notice Alec had begun to approach you rather than you always coming to him. It made you speculate that maybe he wanted to spend his time with you. After that he began to break the gap he always created between you. It started with little things such as fixing your hair or picking something off your shoulder and grew into more intimate things like lingering hand holding, longer than necessary, the occasional random pattern he'd trace on your spine sometimes when standing behind you idly. 
However a line seemed to be drawn when that turned into hugs and Alec gave you some insight. "Why are they so upset?" You asked him quietly, referring to the Cullen's who were in a tense discussion with the other members of the Volturi, except Alec of course. "They don't approve of our time together." Alec said simply. "Why?" You asked. "You and I have a special bond. That scares them." He retorted. "Special? In what way?" You frowned. "I'm sure you've felt it. I've heard your heartbeat change sometimes." Alec looked down, brushing some dirt from his crossed knees. "You don't feel it as strongly as I do but it's there." "I'm going to need some more information on that, Alec. I don't quite understand what you're saying specifically." "You and I are likely to be mates despite our short time together. As much as I don't like saying it, it's similar to 'love at first sight'." Alec grimaced. "Do you not believe in that stuff?" You asked him. "I don't enjoy the thought. I find it disturbing but I don't feel that way you. Perhaps I am mistaken." "You feel it too?" You whispered in disbelief. "The pull? All the time. I feel it more than you would as a human. Believe me, if you felt it like I do, you'd be just as certain." "And the Cullen's don't like that because..." "...because it's with me." Alec finished. "I'm one of the most dangerous vampires in the world. They fear you're in danger."  "Am I?" You whispered and Alec shook his head in response. "Is this kind of bond common?" "No, it's actually exceptionally rare. I personally thought it to be nothing more than a lie but I here I stand corrected." "That explains why I feel so... attached. Sorry, I know that's weird." You admitted sheepishly. Alec smirked. "I find relief in that. It means I'm not the only one. Although it makes a very sad situation for when I must leave tomorrow."  "and you absolutely have to?" You asked Alec and he nodded briefly. "Yes. Soon enough, you'll be going home too." You tilted your head at Alec in confusion. This wasn't necessarily an uncommon experience. You had simply put it down to the many years he had despite looking so young. Alec often said things that didn't make sense, like hearing a statement from a book with no context. He left you to pick up the pieces, although you began to learn that perhaps he hadn't intended you to know the answer. Such a suspicion wouldn't be too far from the truth you reckoned. It had become consistent for vampires to not tell you the complete truth. Alec simply cracked a small smile, recognising your confusion. 
"it's just...it's stupid but I feel like it won't be the same without you now. I like having you around." You said quietly. "I'm fond of you as well." His smile didn't waver and held the same manner you had grown accustomed to. The smile that you'd give a naive child, the smile that said you didn't know anything. 
The next day he had to leave as planned and just as you had expected, it made you sad. There was a small heart ache that followed. You were eager to ignore it. Especially as Alec stood before you, his stance motionless and stoic. Although his eyes had a soft gaze upon you. "Goodbye, little human." He said simply. The name he had often gave you around the others. The term moved from condescending to endearment rather quickly. His eyes said a little more however, something he'd never say in front of others such as the Cullen's. Although his eyes said it for him. 'my little human.' His departure was as brief as his goodbye. No looking back, no distractions. Alec and his coven were gone. The Cullen's were beyond relieved at that point and that's when things became difficult. 
The goal was simple, yet complicated and the Cullen's were unified in it. Keep you and Alec apart. Don't let this continue any further. Alec tried to contact you many times, all of his letter reached you but you couldn’t respond. More specifically, the letters you wrote always disappeared before you could send them. Every newer letter gave you the indication that he hadn’t received yours so no one was sending them for you. 
You devised a plan that as soon as you were alone, you’d call the Volturi. You got receptions number and waited for your time. It eventually came when all of the Cullen’s went hunting. That was your chance. 
You waited half an hour after they had left, wanting to be sure they wouldn’t hear. You quickly dialled the number, leaning against the wall. You knew you’d have been caught as soon as the phone bill came through but you had to tell Alec you weren’t ignoring him. After a couple of rings are cheerful woman greeted you...in Italian. You didn’t know any Italian.  “Hi, uhm, sorry but do you speak english?” There was a brief silence.  “Hello, can you understand me?” The woman wasn’t as confident with her English judging by the pauses but regardless, her annunciation was perfect.”  “Yes, just to be clear, the Volturi...right?” There was another pause. “You have. I’m sorry, might i ask your name?” She asked. “Uh, yeah, my name is (Y/N). I’m a friend of Alec’s.” You could sense her alarm through the phone.  “I see, how can I help you today?”  “Well, Alec has been trying to contact me.” The receptionist made a noise as she seemed to recall. “Ah yes, I was asked to send them to you. Have they not arrived?” You couldn’t help but note the wobble of fear in her question. “Oh I did, yeah, everything is fine but I was hoping I could ask you to give him something for me.” You said hurriedly.  “I believe i can, what would you like me to give to him?”  “Could you take a note of this number and give it to him. It’s my phone number, i can’t respond to his letters they-my family won’t let me.” You said and the receptionist seemed to catch on.  “I see, very well. I’m ready when you are.” 
You gave her your number and she relayed it back to confirm it. Then she paused. “Alec isn’t on duty at the moment, if you like, i could see if I can reach him?” You perked up slightly. “Really? I mean- if it isn’t too much bother.” You could hear the smile in her voice. “Absolutely, let me put you on hold.” 
After a couple of minutes that felt like hours, you heard his voice for the first time in weeks. “Hello?”  “Hi Alec.” You breathed, unable to hold back your smile. You sank to the floor, your whole body leaning against the wall. “(Y/N)?”  “Yeah, its me.” There was a pause, “I’ve wrote to you seven times in the past five weeks alone.” He didn’t sound happy.  “I know, i got them.” You began.  “Well that’s nice, a response would have been even nicer.” Alec’s cold voice took you aback. You had forgotten how blunt he could be. “I know, I wrote back every time but...” You trailed off, unsure how to relay to him your suspicions. “...this is going to sound crazy.” You said flatly. Alec was quiet for a moment. “As long as it doesn’t sound like a lie.”  “I’m not lying to you Alec, i promise. I really did write back to you but...they disappeared before i could send them...every time.” Alec was quiet and you continued. “I think they’re taking them before i can send them.”  “The Cullen’s?” He asked. “Yeah.”  “How do you know?”  “I don’t.” You said quickly, the first couple of times i thought i had misplaced them but...seven times? And...” You trailed off.  “What?” Alec pressed. “When you left, I heard things here and there. I pretended not to but they really don’t approve of me being in contact with you. So much so that I think it could be possible that when i’m asleep or not looking, they’re taking the letters.” You paused. “I know it sounds crazy but this is the only way i could think of reaching you without something going wrong. I don’t know if it’s me or if I am genuinely onto them.”  “Did you asked them?” Alec asked finally. “They’re very quick to deny it and change the subject. I stopped asking, even tried hiding the letters but somehow they’re gone and I don’t remember moving them.” You sighed. “I know it sounds crazy-.”  “It doesn’t.”Alec interrupted.  “Really?”  “Humans can be forgetful but i don’t think they could be that forgetful. Besides, why would you call if you were trying to avoid contact.” Alec said. You exhaled. “I never even thought about that.” There was a slight chuckle.  “Alec, are you laughing at me?” You raised an eyebrow.  “Yes.” He said without hesitation.  “Don’t laugh! I thought i was going crazy and then i thought you were angry with me!”  “I was annoyed but it isn’t your fault. I didn’t realise the Cullen’s would go to such measures to keep you from me.” He explained. “I mean...other than the thousands upon thousands of miles between us?” You asked lightly.  “Very funny.”  “I try.” You grinned.  “Are you safe?” Alec asked.  “Yeah. I think i should be asking you that.” You smirked.  “You don’t need to worry about me, little human.”  “I’m sorry if I worried you though, about...you know, your letters.”  “It seemingly isn’t your fault. Besides, I can hear you now.” Alec spoke. You felt your heart flutter. “Although this is bizarre. I haven’t used a phone before.” Your jaw dropped. “You’re joking.”  “I’m not. I never had the need to besides i’m...old fashioned.”  “Or you’re just old and your age is showing.” You smirked, giggling at the moment of silence.  “You’re exceptionally lucky you’re thousands of miles away, cara mia.”  “That distance gives me confidence.” You giggled.  “I bet it does.” You could hear his smile. 
“Would it be okay if i were to call you instead of writing. I think it’ll be easier to hide. “ You asked.  “I may not be able to use this phone but I believe Heidi has a phone. I would have to ask if i could use it...once she tells me how to use it.” You giggled. “Well the receptionist took down my number.”  “She did, it’s on a tiny bit of yellow paper with your name and many numbers.”  “If you keep that, you’d be able to contact me at any time with that number. Texting or call.” You explained. “Text?” Alec sounded confused. You laughed. “So old!”  “Hey! I’ll come over there.”  “Heidi will tell you all you need to know, i’m sure. I’ll let you get back in contact with me when you can. I know you’re busy and I know i’ll need to hide my phone.” You smiled.  “I’ll fix this, sweet-face.” Alec assured you. “You won’t need to worry.” 
Turns out he was right and true to his word, barely two days later Alice froze mid-step.  “What is it, Alice?” Jasper reached out for his mate, his long fingers curling around her wrist.  “The Volturi...they’re coming here.” 
Barely a week had passed and it seemed the day had arrived. The first hint was from the wolves. The second, you could only assume was vampire instinct because no one would tell you anything. Word had been sent that they had arrived and would be before the Cullen’s in minutes. 
Alice grabbed your face in a firm grip. “Hey, you stay here. Understand? You stay inside.” You nodded quickly and the Cullen’s began to leave the house, one by one.
You moved to the window, keeping a distance but still very visible. You saw many black and grey cloaks. Far more vampires than the Cullen’s, at least triple the number. You felt fear, despite knowing Alec was among them and there to see you. The hostility was too much and it was because of you. You couldn’t hear what was said but within minutes, things seemed to go sour as multiple members grabbed each of the Cullen’s. 
It had been easy enough for the Volturi to overpower the Cullen's even without Alec's help. Aro looked over at Alec, nodding once and Alec's gaze moved from Aro towards the Cullen house. Just like that, Alec walked towards the house. A strike of terror filled you as you pulled away from the window and took off running towards the stairs. You knew better than to run. You knew you couldn't avoid this situation yet regardless of this, you attempted to anyway. You hid in the closet, closing the door quickly. 
Only seconds later you heard footsteps from downstairs. Tears welled in your eyes as your lip quivered. You weren't afraid of Alec, you were afraid of the situation and Alec came with that. You could hear him ascend the stairs as a tear ran down your cheek. He was moving slowly, humanly slow. Whether that was for you or not, you couldn't be sure. Your heart was racing as you quickly regretted hiding, forgetting just why hiding was such a reasonable idea. "(Y/N)?" You heard Alec call out from down the hall. "(Y/N)?" You shivered, not responding but you knew there was only a matter of time before you were found. You had no doubt Alec had already pin pointed where you were by heartbeat alone. "(Y/N)." Alec's voice was just beyond the door. "Open the door." He said simply. You couldn't move. "(Y/N), open the door." Alec said again, this time a little more firmly. "(Y/N), open the door!"
"I’d never have thought you to be the one to come between mates, my dear Carlisle.” Aro smiled.  “Not without reason to think someone is in danger.” Carlisle responded smoothly. “Hypocrite!” Caius snapped.  “Indeed, not a very convincing argument considering...Edward and young Bella.” Aro’s eyes landed on the couple.  “I can guarantee her safety.” Edward spoke through a clenched jaw. “Can Alec?” Jane let out a loud snarl but Aro raised a hand, motioning for her to stand down.  “Now, now, dear Jane. Edward here, is simply...misinformed.” Edward scoffed. 
You tried so desperately to hold back your tears but had failed. In a matter of moments, you could barely register Alec's arms around you, holding you to him. His hold was comforting even if a little too tight. He was quiet when he wasn't mumbling into your ear words of reassurance. It served as a reminder why you cared for him so much. "It's okay, I'll be here when you're ready." He said into your ear. 
To the Cullen’s surprise, they saw Alec come back out of the house and towards them hand in hand with you.  “They’re fine.” Alec said to Aro as you looked down at your feet. Alec pulled you a little closer to him, out of the way of the Volturi guards who released the Cullen’s. As you passed Alec, his fingertips brushed your back. He hummed with a smirk. “They look more and more beautiful as the days pass.” The compliment was sincere but most definitely made to make the Cullen’s uncomfortable. It was a success as Esme’s face twisted as she moved to wrap her arms around you. 
Weeks past and ever since the Volturi’s second visit, you had been acting differently. Being cheerful was never a bad thing in the Cullen's eyes but that wasn't the issue. You were more cheerful and that was fine, great even. However the smile only covered your mouth and barely your eyes. Looking more carefully there was something else there, you were happy but distant from them and had been since the Volturi left. You began to speak like you'd be gone one day. As though caught in a daydream that held you a thousand miles away. Perhaps there was. 
Bella could see it and she wondered if that was what Jessica, Angela, Mike, Ben, Jacob, her parents saw when they looked at her. 'Hes got his hooks in you so deep.' Bella remembered Jake's words as though they were yesterday. They never sat with her well. She never understood them. She never understood how her love for Edward was so wrong. Until she could see it for herself. Was this what they saw when looking at her? Smiling but as far as you could be...with him. Alec. Maybe, she could finally understand where they had been coming from, by looking at you. 
Although Alec had stopped contact since his visit. The Cullen's thought that would have dampened your mood. They tried to keep you apart from him and nothing good came out of it. Yet it had been weeks since his last contact and your smile hadn't even remotely faltered. The Cullen's knew better. Something big was coming. Even if you didn't know it. The Volturi were planning something. 
Alice tried to look at their decisions but they seemed more prepared than ever. If she had to guess, they were taking turns with their plan. She started with Aro only to find nothing but a confirmation from Caius. She looked to Caius and yet again and saw nothing. She checked Alec who seemed to count on Jane and Jane looked to the masters. Marcus was the most difficult of all, if he made any decisions in this plan then they were miniscule. She couldn't piece together a confirmation within a plan that had no hints. She was only left with glimpses, none of which being anything major.  
She was hit with another vision. This one of Jane who made her way to Alec. He was sitting in an armchair, seemingly in thought. Jane gently placed a hand on her brothers shoulder. "It's almost done. Soon." Alec smirked. "That is wonderful to hear, sister." She took a seat beside him on the arm rest. "Are you worried about (Y/N)?" Alec thought for a moment. "No. The plan will work. Besides, sister, I trust you with them. You'll keep them safe." Jane cracked a smile. "Of course I would. I'd do anything for you, brother. I meant for the current days. Whilst we are not there." "I believe that the Cullen's know if they even look at my mate the wrong way, there will be hell to pay." Alec said simply and just like that the vision was over. 
Another vision of many that, in the end, meant absolutely nothing and gave Alice no clue as to what was being plotted against them. Two months passed and things had become radio silent but just as quickly hell emerged. The Cullen's had returned from a hunt and you were no where to be found. Horror struck them. Had it been so simple? Was this is mastermind plan? The Volturi would take you when they weren't looking? None were satisfied with such an answer and so they each split up to search. 
Alice and Jasper were the first to disappear. No one had seen them since they departed yet the others had all crossed paths. Then it was Rosalie, Emmet not far to follow. Edward had yet to return and Bella was with her father, safe and sound. That left Carlisle and Esme who had no choice but to split up in desperation to find you. Esme moved to the front of the house, checking the trees through there. 
Carlisle looked at his house that was now completely pitch black without the lights and in the dead of night. When they had left the lights were on and he felt a sense of dread wash over him. This time, he could smell your scent much more strongly than previously which meant you were back and a strong heartbeat. "(Y/N)!?" Carlisle called out. Within moments there was a giggle and the sound of footsteps joined with the heartbeat. In seconds you ran past the doorframe in front of him.  “(Y/N)! Come back!” Carlisle called out after you. However you didn’t listen, rushing into the darkness. 
Carlisle called out to you and once again he got no reply, He made his way through each of the rooms before finally coming face to face with Alec. His expression was blank and you peeked out from behind him, your hand clutched with his tightly.  “You're too late Carlisle. They're with me now." He said simply. You smiled slightly as you nuzzled into Alec’s shoulder.  “W-What can I do to convince you-” Carlisle began but was cut off. “I think you and your coven have done enough.” Alec said stoically before directing his next sentence to you. “Sweet-face, Corin and Chelsea are looking for you.” You broke away from Alec, running off behind him and out of the room.  “No...” Carlisle shook his head in horror. “You didn’t...”  “See that’s where you have me wrong Carlisle. Chelsea hasn’t done anything to (Y/N).” Alec said quickly. Carlisle looked to see Jane walking up to take her place to her brothers left.  “You thought that I’d tie (Y/N) to me so using Chelsea. So much so you forget that they’re my mate, they’re already tied without her. If you must know, It’s Corin’s influence over them that I used. I don’t want to upset them. I want them happy and even just a little distracted.”  “Distracted for what-” Carlisle was cut off by his own scream. He crumpled to the ground, Jane filled with delight as she used her gift on Carlisle.  “This is what you get when you try to keep them from me. This is what happens. I suggest you tell your family and your friends about this taste of the consequences because i can promise you, it’s only a taste of what we’ll do if you ever try to come between us again.” Jane released Carlisle. 
In that moment you came into the room. “Am I going with you?” Alec turned with a small smirk. “Of course you are. It’s time. You’re ready, aren’t you?” You nodded cheerfully. Alec reached for your hand as Jane slipped her own hand into his free one. “Let’s go, sweet-face.”
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hyrule-kingdom-updates · 4 years ago
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Ok but I have been thinking about this “Astor takes Zelda when she’s young” AU all night like:
So Zelda’s mom dies and Astor gets his astrolabe from Asivus after he fucks with the guardians and [REDACTED] and Astor has his little Calamity agenda all within a shorter amount of time than the span of time in HKU. This is so that Zelda doesn’t have too much knowledge about her role as Hylia’s vessel yet so that when Astor takes her she’s like “dope” and doesn’t really know exactly how important she is. I mean as soon as your mom dies and your dad turns into a dick, the first magic dadstor to come into your radius going like “let’s go vibe somewhere else” I think anyone would accept that.
So the princess is whisked away and the kingdom goes into pure shit and chaos, and Rhoam is left no choice as to basic double, no, triple down on Sheikah tech and the divine beasts, all while sending out searches for the princess—which never come into fruition.
Meanwhile, Zelda grows up with the Yiga Clan as an assassin shes got a sickle and short hair because yeah!! Zavis is still a spy but instead of joining the Yiga Clan to be more useful to Zelda, he joined the Yiga Clan to find her and when he did, since his dad and Zelda are all basically on the same side he doesn’t have really any loyalty to the crown anymore
Now just in case, Astor pretty much lies to Zelda about her past as she grew up, just so that there isn’t a chance she gets dragged back into castle life or anything. “Oh yeah, you were just some little noble girl who’s dad was a dick, and I was friends with your mom before she died so I decided to take you in” and it lines you just enough with what few memories Zelda has of her childhood that she believes it. And ironically, with her loyalty to Astor and the Yiga Clan, she grows to despise royals and laughs at the stories of the missing princess like “ha, what a nerd. Hyrule really is doomed since she dipped from her destiny, what a loser.”
Does Siv team up with Astor earlier since he doesn’t have Zelda to give him hope that he can overcome the Calamity? Maybe. Idk.
So anyways, Zeldas going out doing Yiga things and she meets a knight with a pretty cool looking sword, and she’s like “Oooo imma steal that” and then she tries but she failed because this kid is REALLY skilled. He beats her, but doesn’t kill her when he realizes “You’re just a kid?” Then, they hear someone coming, like a captain or something, and he tosses her a few rupees like “get out of here and go home, the others won’t hesitate to kill a Yiga like you—girl or not”
Now Zelda goes home but she’s PISSED. Not only did she get her ass beat despite being the most badass Yiga she knows, the kid has the audacity to toss her RUPEES as if she was just some common poor thief. What an asshole! But also, she’s super ingrained by him because pretty much her whole life she’s believed the knights and those with the royals are a bunch of ruthless assholes who do nothing but blindly adhere to their commands and rules. So the fuck is with this kid??
She doesn’t tell anyone about this encounter (mostly because she doesn’t want to be yelled at, nor admitting the embarrassing detail of being beaten) but she does tell Zavis about it. And he’s like “pfft. He’s just a kid, btt it give him a few years and he’ll grow up like everyone other asshole out there, trust me”
Then later on, Zelda sneaks out looking for this kid again. And she does, and they kinda cross blades, but mostly she just complains to him about how annoying he is, and she tosses the rupees he gave him back like “I don’t need your pity money!” And they banter for a bit more and eventually she’s like “what’s your name, huh?” And the knight is like “....you don’t know who I am?”
“Oh let me guess, you’re one of the hundreds of people named Link, is that it?”
“Something like that.”
“Well Link, I’m Mallory, and I’m going to kill you now!”
Suddenly Link’s stomach grumbles and he sheathes his sword “Dinner break!”
“WHA—?? Keep fighting me you idiot!”
“Nah...I’m super hungry.”
“What?!?! What’s wrong with you??? I’ll kill you!”
“No you won’t.”
“I will!”
“You’re already breaking a sweat and I’ve been holding back this whole time. Plus, if you wanted to kill me why did you just give me back my rupees when I had my back turned instead of stabbing me? Either you like talking to me, or you suck at your job. Anyways, cucco nugget?”
So they’re kinda friends now.
So time passes and they’re still secret friends, and they like being friends because they “keep it real” as the kids say. Link never admits to her that he’s the hero, but vents about his knight life and his dad who never seems to be happy for him despite his accomplishments. And Zelda vents about her life in the Yiga Clan, and despite being the best, Astor never seems to want her involved in the more important missions and never tells her jackshit”
“Well I guess that’s good for me. Would hate to have the Yiga’s best asset being used.”
“Hey this is serious!! I need to help in the destruction of the royal family with the Calamity!”
“Do you really believe that? That we’re all already doomed?”
“Well yeah. I mean, even if the hero’s around, the princess is dead, so you all don’t stand a chance. But don’t worry, when the Calamity comes I’ll give you a heads up and you can go chill in Faron or something”
Then, things be picking up with Astor and the gang, and he’s finally found an opportunity to kill the hero. And Zelda remembers hearing from Link that he sometimes hangs out with the Champions and the hero for protection, and she’s like, “can I come?” because she wants to be useful, but also to make sure Link doesn’t die or anything. Yet per usual, Astor’s like “No. Just stay here.”
Now Zelda gets super pissed and him and they have a fight, mostly circulating around the fact that Zelda’s been nothing but loyal to the Yiga Clan and yet she nevers gets to actually feel useful and it also put on the sidelines whenever anything actually impactful happens. “Hell, even ZAVIS does more than I do! What’s your problem?! Can’t you have confidence in my for once??”
And Astor in Astor fashion ends the argument super harshly like, “You won’t be ready for anything, ever. You’re still incredibly naive and foolish, so if you want to help, then you can help everyone by staying here, and safe, and away from everyone. THAT is the only thing of use you can do, so do it.” And then they go off to kill the hero and Zelda runs off to her room al frusterated and shit. 
But you know, you often meet your destiny on the road you take to avoid it. And this Astor’s little plan to keep Zelda away from Calamity related business so that she can never discover her powers or who she is...is gonna backfire, splendidly.
So Zelda sneaks out anyway, with the idea in her head that if she kills the hero before Astor even gets there he’ll have no CHOICE but to recognize how competent and useful she is and he’ll eat his words!
But then she gets there, and she sees the Champions, and Link, and she goes to confront Link with sickle in hand like, “I don’t need you! Just tell me where the hero is, and I’ll spare the rest of you!” And the Champions are like “wtf” and Link is like, “Just leave. You don’t know what you’re doing.” 
“I know exactly what I’m doing! Just tell me where the hero is and no one else has to get hurt.”
And Daruk’s like. “Uhh...but he is the hero?” And everyone glares at Daruk, and Zelda goes into shock, like w h a t. Aw shit..so that fancy sword was the master sword...and he’s so good at fighting because he’s the bloody hERO FUCK, IT’S SO OBVIOUS NOW FUCK.
And I feel like as Zelda is contemplating her life choices in the moment. Revali would attack first because he’s like that. So he shoots her in the shoulder, or something, and she releases Link, and then something something her mask falls of and Urbosa recognizes her because of course she does. And Urbosa’s like “Zelda?!??!?” And Zelda’s like, “Who the fuck are you? Who’s Zelda? I’m Mallory.” 
And by that point, Astor is there and he’s like “wtf is going on here.” And he sees Zelda, and he’s like “Mallory get over here right now.” And she hesitates for a moment because she’s right between him and Link.
“Move aside, now. Quickly. We’ll discuss your insolence when we get back home.”
And she’s like “...No.”
“Excuse me?”
“T-There’s no need for this. The princess is dead, right? S-So what’s even the point?”
“We have to ensure victory for Lord Ganon. We’re just making sure there’s no chance of anything happening. There’s no need to defend them, they’re all doomed, they’re all the same. If the hero doesn’t die by my hand, he’ll die by the Calamity’s. So move.”
“You don’t know that!”
And Astor raises and eyebrow because this is basically the first time Zelda has questioned this, ever. “What did you say?”
“I...I said you don’t know everything! You could be wrong!”
And he gives a sad smile and shakes his head. “I know more than you know.”
“I’ll tell you when we’re done here, promise.” And then he does his little malice teleport thing and he’s about to kill Link with a big ol’ malice attack, and Zelda does that reaching out thing like “No!” 
And the BOOM. Her powers awaken, and EVERYONES like “oh shIT.” And Link’s the first one to be like, “You’re the princess???” And Astor’s like “hmmmmmmmm....fuck.” And Urbosa’s like, “Ok, I’m gonna stab Astor now.” and then she does! good for her. 
And then Zelda is freaking out like what the fuck just happened who huh where what huh and then theres conflict because she doesn’t want Link to die but also his team just sorta stabbed her father figure and then its chaos or something and uhhhhhhhhh yeah that’s all I got I have no idea how this would end. 
I feel Zelda wouldn’t go back to the Yiga Hideout after that, in fact I think she might run off with Siv because he’s like “hey, hey, hey. maybe gimme some of that light juice and get the calamity out of my head?” And of course Zavis would go whereever Zelda went (maybe?) She definitly wouldn’t go with the Champions yet, but they’re out looking for her. And also Astor would be looking for her with the Yiga Clan but mostly he’s like “fuck my life.” because literally everything he had been working towards and planning for over a decade has been ruined in like, an hour.
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