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REVIEWING THE CHARTS 2020: 10/01

So: REVIEWING THE CHARTS 2020. We’ve got the second episode here, and we’ve already stagnated. Hey, I’m not complaining. It’s really boring and we’ve got nothing to talk about with the exception of the top five new arrival, but let’s agree that we’d really not want to talk about that one either. Here’s the top 10.

Top 10

Stormzy’s “Own It” featuring Burna Boy and Ed Sheeran is still at the top for its second week at #1. I can’t really see a threat to this as of yet, but we’ll see.

“Before You Go” by Lewis Capaldi hasn’t moved at number-two, the runner-up spot. To be honest, I don’t see this hitting the #1 but the charts are pretty unpredictable right now, so I can’t decide as of yet.

Dua Lipa’s “Don’t Start Now” sticks at number-three. I doubt it’ll get there, but let’s hope this hits #1.

“ROXANNE” by Arizona Zervas is at number-four, the same from last week.

Now for our first and pretty much only headline here, “Yummy” by Justin Bieber, his new song that despite a massive promotional push, only debuted at number-five. You’d figure that Bieber would learn a lesson from Taylor Swift’s “ME!”, which is that pop veterans can’t just release Godawful singles and rely on name recognition anymore in the streaming era, at least enough for a #1. It’s his 45th Top 40 hit if I recall correctly (which is crazy), and about his 17th top 10, and somehow not his worst.

“Dance Monkey” by Tones and I is down one spot to number-six.

Surprisingly up a spot due to... well, seemingly no reason at all, “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi has rebounded up eight spaces to number-seven. It’s been nearly a full freaking year since this song first charted and it won’t go away.

Sadly, due to “Yummy” and “Someone You Loved” rising, Billie Eilish’s “everything i wanted” is down two spots to number-eight but it could very much propel back up next week.

“Adore You” by Harry Styles is also a victim of the two songs, down two to number-nine.

Finally, we have a one-spot boost for “Blinding Lights” by the Weeknd, which has reached #10, marking his ninth top 10 hit in the UK.

Climbers

There are actually a couple here, seemingly from “end-of-year UK hits” YouTube playlists? I don’t know; this happens often after the Christmas songs fade away because there are all of these playlists and different end-of-year commemorations. It would explain “Ride It” by Regard and “Bruises” by Lewis Capaldi both up 12 spaces to #11 and #12 respectively, as well as “Memories” by Maroon 5 up eight spots to #13, “Lose Control” by MEDUZA, Goodboys and Becky Hill up 16 spots to #31, “South of the Border” by Ed Sheeran featuring Camila Cabello and Cardi B up 15 positions to #17, and finally “Circles” by Post Malone up seven spaces to #19. It doesn’t exactly explain “The Box” by Roddy Ricch up 24 spots to #16 though.

Fallers

There are quite a few honestly pretty surprising and unexpected fallers here, once again because of end-of-year commemorations allowing songs from the past year to have some sort of artificial boost. This leaves actual upcoming hit songs pretty much in the dust, such as “Pump it Up” by Endor down eight spots to #14, “This is Real” by Jax Jones featuring Ella Henderson collapsing nine spaces to #18, “Lose You to Love Me” by Selena Gomez tripping down 10 spaces to #20 just to rebound next week because of the album, “My Oh My” by Camila Cabello featuring DaBaby, as well as “Falling” by Trevor Daniel, seemingly losing all of their momentums since they’re down eight and nine spaces respectively to #21 and #23. The same seems to apply for Stormzy and Harry Styles as they’ve had pretty bad weeks: “Audacity” featuring Headie One is down 10 to #26, “Vossi Bop” is down 12 to #24, while “Watermelon Sugar” is down 12 to #29, and “Lights Up” is down 14 to #32. “Don’t Rush” by Young T & Bugsey with Headie One is down 11 to #31, as is “Gangsta” by Darkoo and One Acen at #33. “Heartless” by the Weeknd is also struggling down 13 spaces to #38, which is unfortunate as the song has only grown on me since its debut. Oh, and “In the Unknown” by Idina Menzel and AURORA from the Frozen II soundtrack is down 18 spaces to #37. Yikes.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

The climbers and fallers aren’t the only result of the end-of-year commemorations though, as we do have returning songs straight from the end-of-year list (Which I have ranked and will post on my Twitter as soon as possible). Those are “HIGHEST IN THE ROOM” by Travis Scott and remixed by ROSALIA and Lil Baby back at #25, “I Don’t Care” by Ed Sheeran featuring Justin Bieber at #27, “Beautiful People” by Ed Sheeran featuring Khalid at #28, “Senorita” by Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello at #30, “Ladbroke Grove” by AJ Tracey at #36, “Turn Me On” by Riton, Vula and Oliver Heldens at #39 and “Outnumbered” by Dermot Kennedy back at #40. That does mean a hefty list of drop-outs however, including “Lucid Dreams” by Juice WRLD out from #27, “River” by Ellie Goulding thankfully out from #28, “No Cellular Site” by D-Block Europe also thankfully out from #29... in fact, I’m not complaining about any of this really. I can’t be upset about “Better Half of Me” by Tom Walker out from #30, “hot girl bummer” by blackbear out from #35, or even “No Idea” by Don Toliver out from #39. “Netflix & Chill” by Fredo is out from #34, and unfortunately, J Hus had both of his singles from the forthcoming album drop out this week: “No Denying” is out off of the debut from #33, and “Must Be” is out from #37... and that’s all other than the new arrivals, so I’d like to note that despite momentum being slashed in half by all these returns, there are some songs within the UK Top 75 that are promising; not all of them are good, but you can expect these songs from the tail-end of the top 75 debuting in the coming weeks after a good rise, probably even next week: “Up All Night” by Khalid, “Say So” by Doja Cat, “BOP” by DaBaby, “Ballin’” by Mustard featuring Roddy Ricch, “Suicidal” by YNW Melly and “July” by Noah Cyrus. I figured I should start doing this. Now for the new arrivals:

NEW ARRIVALS

#35 – “Savage” – MIST

Produced by Swifta Beater and Zeph Ellis

MIST is back... I guess. I’ve never found MIST very interesting, well, musically – I saw the dude on a really awful ITV2 comedy panel show thing, and he was pretty charismatic, so I have no idea why that’s not present in his music whatsoever. This is his fourth UK Top 40 hit however, and “So High” with Fredo has grown on me a bit since its release, so I figured this could be somewhat interesting... and you know what, MIST might have won me over with this one. The chipmunk vocal samples are catchy and the beat coming in so abruptly after the first line is just perfect. MIST’s content isn’t exactly all that unique, but some of the description of him shooting this man is pretty specific and intimidating. The beat is heavy with plummeting 808s and a sporadic trap drum pattern, and the part in the first verse where after he mentions his gun, a sound effect (Of said gun) plays, and the next line is a pitch-shifted “Cabbage (Bang)”. It’s just really funny, and adds some needed humour to the otherwise pretty menacing song. In fact, all of the three verses in this very short song (2 minutes and 26 seconds) have a really intense delivery from MIST, who really surprised me with his angry cadences and overall emotive performance here. The production is great but the mixing is at times slightly dodgy, so the bass does start clipping, but that’s mostly during the chorus, which is a repetitive vocal sample that does sound good, but at first is somewhat jarring and the sample is way too quiet to work as an anthem. The first two verses follow a strict rhyme scheme that is limiting but MIST makes the most of it, calling himself a “Birmingham assassin”, which again is a comedic turn of phrase to depict something that’s genuinely very dangerous. The third verse does feel out of place but I’d like to say that the rejection of the rhyme scheme and a calmer flow represents him abandoning the “Gangsta all the time” mantra and ideology that runs through the track. It still could sound better if there was some kind of beat switch, and in some way it does make the song seem underdeveloped, especially since the song fades out, which is just a really odd decision that doesn’t fit the song’s mood at all. Still, it’s a good song, a surprising one at that, and definitely my favourite from MIST.

#5 – “Yummy” – Justin Bieber

Produced by Poo Bear, Kid Culture and Sasha Sitora

On January 3rd, Justin Bieber, one of the biggest pop stars of the millennium, a viral star who has been a polarising figure in music for 11 years straight due to legal issues and a tsunami of online hatred. He released the single alongside a music video and a trailer to promote his new documentary, that also was a trailer for the song and his tour. Bieber joined TikTok and encouraged his fans to make TikTok videos of the song, him doing so as well, raking up millions of views not only on the app but on YouTube compilations. Four days later, he released autographed cassettes, autographed picture discs, SIX unique autographed CDs and FIVE unique autographed vinyl records. They were only available for 24 hours. There were also FIVE additional music videos released other than the official music video upon release and the audio. If that wasn’t enough, Billie Eilish suddenly started promoting the song, and soon afterwards, Bieber posted on Instagram a fan-made image asking for his fans to manipulate streaming numbers and get a VPN if they are not in the US, proving that this isn’t just a promotional push, it’s the #1 that Bieber and Scooter Braun want; whether it’s because Braun wanted the #1 to undermine Taylor Swift or because it’s bragging rights and label politics, we don’t know. This meant it was ever so funny when “Yummy” by Justin Bieber debuted at #2 on the Billboard Hot 100, below a non-single without a music video, “The Box” by Roddy Ricch, celebrating its first week at #1 with a triumphant “err, ooh”. In fact, it’s never hit #1 in any country at all (As of yet). That’s just a beautiful moment when the entirety of the world unites to refuse streaming this garbage fuel of manufactured, plastic trash with headline-chasing references to Megan Thee Stallion and a falsetto from Bieber that’s as weak as ever. This is as out as touch as pop music could have possibly ever been in 2020. It’s a new decade but it seems like we’re regressing.

Conclusion

Yeah, it should be obvious that Worst of the Week is going to “Yummy” by Justin Bieber, but surprisingly, and also by default, MIST’s “Savage” takes Best of the Week. Good stuff; I hope it’s not a fluke. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank, I’ll see you next week.

REVIEWING THE CHARTS 2020

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