#not taking it seriously can be DANGEROUS. and he still succeeded so well

[immoralimmortals]

A Song With Ten Names

Chapter 53: Mr. Fear (2)

Chapter 1 ☆ Next chapter ☆ AO3 ☆ Featured song playlist

Chapter Summary: Pain takes his role of God very seriously.

Author's Note:

The warnings for this chapter are religious discussions (alluding to Christianity in particular), suicidal thoughts, and Christmas-related depression. The song for this chapter is Mr. Fear by SIAMES. Wake Me Up When September Ends by Green Day is also mentioned.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You know

I'll never disappear

Now get me out of here

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Her leg still hurts from Hidan laying on it for so long. It’s been a couple of days since then… She’s starting to get concerned.

The woman swallows as she lays herself backwards on her favorite couch— that is, backwards from how she goes to bed, head on the opposite side, farther from the door. She massages the wound underneath the blanket, notes how the stitches— unlike medical grade sutures— have not yet decayed. They’re metallic, like staples but instead able to curve in and out of her body like thread. Eventually, she gives up with a sigh and pulls her hand from out of the covers. Nothing more she can do, at least right now.

...

She stares up at the ceiling, hears a distant clock tick. Tick, tick, tick. Time has been passing. Is that bad? Is it good? She’s still alive… She managed to still be alive.

The woman lays on the couch and feels the stagnation of time, exists less within her body and more sees herself out of it. She imagines how she must appear— small, cozy even. Her undone hair sprawls on the pillow, and her eyes seem tired but peaceful. One thing she doesn’t catch onto, though, is that the more she thinks, the more her fingers begin to fidget into one another, tug at the edges of her nails.

She did a good thing, and she’s paying for it. Fucking Christmas… That’s when it all started, in a way; at least when it started getting worse. It’s clearer now, giving it space and time...but that’s really when a downhill slope started to become a tumble into hell. Man…

Does she tell them?

...

No. She shouldn’t.

Telling Konan was already too much, if it’s making her heart so heavy.

She has a long way to go.

The woman closes her eyes and tries to think of something else, only half succeeding. She dismissed it a bit at first mention— honestly far too easily— but the leader...he’s a god…?! In her mind’s eye she sees him, the exact way he first met her: A hole in a tree that opened like a mere optical illusion. Inside, two orbs tinted purple with rings getting smaller and smaller until they were dots centering his eyeballs. They stared down, up so high as he sat on a wooden knot, perched like something halfway between a king and a predatory animal. He got close to her level and whispered she was free of wrongdoing— of sin, of necessary guilt, of danger. It’s nearly impossible how similar his traits are...to…

Well. You know who. The big guy upstairs.

...

Goddammit, she’s thinking about Christmas again. What did she do in a past life to deserve this? Did she kick Santa as a baby when someone put her on his lap? She exhales, long and loud in hopes of releasing the wistfulness penting up in her chest. It doesn’t get rid of it, though. In fact, it brings someone else around:

“Takara-chaaaaan!”

Her eyes crack open and he’s exactly as close to her face as he sounded like. Even mere inches away, the performer can’t see into the single hole for Tobi’s eye; he doesn’t give her long to try harder.

“Whatcha doin’, laying down like that?! It’s the middle of the day! Come on, lazybones, let’s go outside again!”

An arm overtop the blanket is taken and tugged, but it remains lax in Tobi’s grasp. It flops down when he lets go, brushing knuckles against the top of the living room rug. She frowns unwittingly, pondering her choices or lack thereof. She’s developed a limp recently, on the leg that Kakuzu had to stitch up, and it’s gotten worse and worse each time they’ve roughhoused in the snow… If it doesn’t get a break, it may mean a more permanent kind of damage, she fears.

“I’m sorry…” the performer begins, as she often does with an apology. “I—I’m not feeling very good. I...pulled a muscle. Or something.”

Tobi tilts his head with a small “oh?” from behind his mask. “Pulled it? Doing what?”

“I—” Oh...she can’t blame him. This conversation is hard enough as it is. How can someone with no face still resemble a sad puppy, leaning over her like that? “Don’t know. I just need rest.” And the woman closes her eyes in hopes that’ll get the conversation to end… However, the cloth on top of her begins to pull away...

“Maybe I can help—”

“NO!” She sits straight up in a panic. There’s no way he can see her injury— no WAY! Black gloves back off, palms raised as the man jolts away from overturning her covers. Then it hits her exactly what she’s done...how over the top that reaction is for what she wants Tobi to think is happening.

“Shit—” No, no don’t even say THAT out loud! “I— I’m sorry. I’m...cranky. I’m sorry.”

“Takara-chan…?”

“Please let me sleep. I— I don’t want to be...like this...anymore.”

And though this time there is no interruption when she turns away and closes her eyes, that doesn’t mean this conversation is over. Obito stares at her a moment— or rather, several until her facial muscles finally begin to relax— and he begins to decide what it is that needs to be done.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Just trust in me, my dear

No cure is coming near

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“You spent a lot of time with her yesterday.”

Konan doesn’t let her steeled expression waver as Madara stands in front of her closed door, even when he uses his real voice. “More than usual,” she stipulates. “Maybe ten minutes, at most.”

“An hour if you include that time watching us in the snow,” the mastermind adds.

She narrows her eyes ever so slightly. “I suppose so,” she admits. “I figure this fact is of use, somehow?”

“Indeed,” the orange mask nods. “What did you talk about? Her attitude has shifted since then.”

...

“She...inquired about angels. I explained my status as Pain’s right hand.”

“And she said nothing of herself?”

Konan treads lightly, unsure of what this information is for, how he intends to utilize it. “She mentioned angels were an important symbol of a holiday. A holiday around this time of year.”

He snaps his fingers in realization. “Of course—! Konan— I have a task for you...since it seems you’re the one with a foot in the door.”

What can she do but accept?

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

How long you'll call me insincere?

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“She’s been this way all day…” Kisame murmurs, just around the corner of the living room and its accursed, girl-holding couch. “Itachi-san…? Do you think…?”

The named man exhales lightly through his nose, dark eyes gazing downward. Could she be in another decline? Another of these bouts of mental illness? But she can talk fine… She just seems...downtrodden. “Perhaps. But it isn’t the same.”

She can hear them— of course she can, they’re hardly out of sight— and she wonders if that’s on purpose. But no matter their intent, can’t tell them the truth. It’s too embarrassing at this point. It’s stupid...but it’s not. It’s so easy...but it isn’t. She WANTS it to not matter...but it does.

So it’s just easier to not confront it at all.

She closes her eyes. Maybe she can just sleep until it’s spring again. How’d that song go? It was about death and waiting until things feel better… Maybe if she tries to remember it, it’ll help her pass through this...

“I agree,” Kisame continues. And goddammit, the woman’s too nosy to not open back up her eyes and continue to snoop in. “Itachi…?”

There’s a long, long stretch of quiet. Being nosy is a trait as easily punished as it is rewarded. She can imagine anything and everything in the absence of talk. But then, an interruption:

“Ah, Konan-san…”

“May I speak with you a moment?”

“Sure.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

I'm not here to fulfill your parody

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

She can’t quite decide if engaging with it is really helping or not. Either way, these memories are hard to let go.

She HAS to get up sometime, if for nothing than to go to the bathroom and remind people she’s alive. It takes a while to work up to, the awareness of the very likely possibility that someone will stop her, talk to her, and she won’t know what to say. Her mind attempts to work through what to do if that happened, but it isn’t enough to calm her down.

...

She’s hungry.

...

She remembers the times she failed to die and why.

...

...

...

She gets up.

The sun is down, early as it does in this season, and candlelight guides her way.

...

She walks in the kitchen. There’s a loaf of bread in a paper bag. She unties it and sees there are no further pre-cut slices. The knife glistens, mirrors a warped reflection of her face as the handle is held in her numb hand.

The knife goes in...across...and out of the food, and she manages to only use the blade for that. She didn’t have any urges, these few days, but the memories are enough to make her worry, to think "just in case"...

A single slice of bread is set on the plate, and she listens to the world she’s in. Silence. It may be late enough that everyone is asleep. She didn’t see Deidara curled up nearby as she often does at night, but he has no obligation to be there. She convinces herself she should be happy if he’s given up on her and started to sleep alone in his own bedroom. That’s what would be the selfless thing to want.

Anyway. Point is...maybe she can finally have a real moment to herself as a moving, living human being. Maybe being alone yet with freedom will help. She exits the kitchen and walks towards the dining table—

A gasp, one she soon hopes couldn’t be heard.

A strike cuts her heart as she sees him. Orange hair, headband around it...even if he’s not facing her, it’s unmistakable. The man who claims to be God, who has so much in common with the one that haunted her whole life. He’s sitting there, all on his lonesome, apparently. As she stands frozen in place, that position of his continues; maybe he doesn’t know she’s here…

What a relief.

The woman tiptoes back to where she came from, planning to find another place to be alone.

...

...

...

And then she’s back. She doesn’t want to be alone anymore, not at all it turns out. She just wants the absence of effort that interaction requires. She’s willing to give it a shot, and hopefully he will understand. As unlikely as that would be, she’s just that desperate. You can only try.

Foolish mortal she is, even after considering the consequences, the sinner cannot keep from the allure of a god.

Wordlessly, she steps into the room, just behind the Akatsuki leader, a woman's shadow falling over his back. A pause is allowed, so he may dismiss her if he so desired. And then, as best as she can, she tries to sit down and eat without shame, like she would have if he wasn't there.

He doesn’t speak as she sits at the perpendicular side of the table to him. He glances over...she keeps her eyes down...and then his purple-gray targets go back forward. That's all there is to it. He looks ahead as if he sees nothing; if he’s a god, does he see everything right now? Is that what he's doing...? Konan said he was everywhere, or at least teased that sort of ability. ...It’s not her business. The less the stranger has to think about it, the better. She doesn’t want the wrath of a second god; The first one, after all, evidently found it suitable to make her his plaything.

Another bite, another bite...and she’s done. One last swallow and then follows an exhale of relief.

“May we speak?”

His words don’t feel as abrupt as it should be, even after being aside him so long without a single comment prior. Maybe the woman’s more numb than she thought she was. “Y-...yes, sir?”

He doesn’t look away from whatever it is, whatever is secretly in his vision as they, in person, are locked on a spot on this wooden slab they share. Even so, with the world on his shoulders, somehow he makes time just for her. “I suspect something may be...amiss.”

...

“What tipped you off?”

“Your silence,” he says. “Your stagnation.”

Ah, shit. Of course it was obvious.

...

“I don’t feel very good,” she half lies.

“Then I ask you to share your pain with me.”

Her eyes widen with surprise. He doesn’t shift, not at all, even as he states something so inviting, so...personal. Maybe she misunderstands…?

“My leg hurts,” she answers, being literal. “I’m just trying to rest, is all.” But her interpretation was right the first time.

“That isn’t all, is it?”

...

“Miss Takara...do I intimidate you?”

...

“No,” she lies entirely.

“I wouldn’t blame you if I did.” It is increasingly apparent he is allowing her to try again.

...

“Yes.” … “But...it’s not your fault.”

Well, that’s unexpected. He blinks, finally. “Oh?”

...

“I don’t really want to talk about it.”

...Ah. He had hoped too soon. His eyes close. “As you wish.”

...

...

Perhaps that’s his cue that she’s free to go—

“Before you leave—”

Ah shit, she thinks, freezing mid-stand from her seat.

“Keep an awareness,” he bids. The only motion he makes in the whole interaction happens; he dips his head ever so slightly. “Whether you believe it or not in your heart...remember this in your mind:...”

And now he pins the Rinnegan right at her, full attention, nothing else he'd rather see.

“I will only show you mercy.”

Words intended for kindness just make her gut twist, but she can’t tell him that. Her head's already under the water. “Thank you, sir.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

How come my song becomes unreal?

You never understand my melodies

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Wake me up

When September ends

The song is mumbled on the back of her tongue again. There’s no end or beginning. It's worse than an earworm; those only get words or notes stuck in your head. This is one of those times you can feel the song go all the way to your bones. It's etching into them, piercing with the full intent of melancholy and grief for what was. She imagines the way she looks now, and it's not as quaint as last she did this mental exercise. What she is within now is as messy as her apartment on the days she couldn’t get out of bed. Only made sense; she’s hardly gotten up this week.

Ring out the bells again

Like we did when spring began

Wake me up

When September ends

It’s been silence. Not even just quiet, but— no one. Nothing. It’s a ghost town. No sounds, no talking, no doors open or shut. She only just noticed, but it's been this way for a while. Maybe even as long as she's been thinking of that song.

...Is she asleep?

That possibility finally enough for her to get up once again. She looks out into the hallway, peeking from her room of refuge. A look side to side... Nothing.

Is this...

...A dream?

She steps up the stairs, and so far the old pictures of strangers who used to know this home are the only faces she sees.

“Hello?”

It’s empty.

Knock knock. “Hidan...?”

The doorknob wiggles— unlocked. A creak of the door and his room is empty.

Knock knock. “Kakuzu...?”

Empty.

“Kisame?”

“Itachi?”

Knock knock, knock knock.

“Deidara?”

“Sasori…?!”

Open door, open hatch. Creek, creek.

“Konan?!”

Even hers...it’s empty.

And what does that leave? Is it worth it? There’s only one room remaining, and it’s looming right behind her back.

She turns around, and her heart is racing. Where is everyone?! If THIS room is empty too— if even the Leader has gone and she hasn’t noticed—!

And as she reaches for that final knob...her fingers twitch. It’s like a force field is there. Everyone else she has at least some level of report with...at least SOME semblance of a relationship so as to justify entering their personal space, at least peek her head in.

With the man named after suffering itself...she has no such thing except his word.

There’s a dizziness in her head. Sometimes...when you stop experiencing the world— in the way fleshed out and full, good or bad, as social humans do—...different things in your mind are disproportionate. There could be an easy explanation of no one being around, but nothing feels reasonable with her anxiety. There could be a reason she sees shadows, hears something besides herself...but it feels so real…

Cough!

Like the ring of a bell, the door ahead calls, beckons her curiosity. Her hand finally lunges forward to pull the knob—

And someone else gets to her first.

“Miss Takara.”

Caught red handed by the leader himself. Those circles of orbit under his stricken headband stare. She begins to stutter. Shit. Shit! Oh SHIT!

“You’re not in trouble.” And to prove it, he lets her go. But shouldn’t she be, she thinks?! “What are you doing?”

The woman staggers backward, holding herself by the shoulders, knees pinning together. It’s almost like if she makes herself small enough, she can hide, but they both know that’s not how it works. Her face tinges pink, so pink you can even tell with the lights off. “Everyone was gone and...I... I got scared.”

...No. He doesn't look mad. Come to think of it...he's never been mad at her. No matter what dumb thing she did. Maybe it shouldn't be a surprise that all he has for her is patience. “Apologies...I should have considered you could be active before our return.”

She blinks, confused as hell. “Return…? Where’d you guys go?”

“Procurements,” he explains, as if that means anything to her. “And preparations.”

All she can do in this state of being is stare at him like a wide-eyed idiot. But the icy touch of his hand on her cheek wakes her up in a snap. Her breath hitches and her spine snaps up to attention.

“Please...join us downstairs, in your piano hall...when you are ready.”

He slips by her without a word, and half of her feels like her face was just cradled by death. The other still feels like this is yet another dream. As such, the traveler lingers still near the final door.

But Pain stops at the end of the hallway...and his eyes again target at her. It’s hard to stay in place when such a force asks you to follow.

This diversion is how Nagato manages to hold in another coughing fit until she’s out of earshot.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You know

I'll never disappear

Now get me out of here

Just trust in me, my dear

No cure is coming

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

She walks down the stairs. Has she been so catatonic as to miss this…? Step by step down, the surroundings reveal themselves. There are...candles. More than before; certainly she didn’t light any. Still...even more than what's necessary...it's like a literal path, how they line the walls. Pain waits for her again, and over his head is...an angel. It’s like the one she made earlier, but better. Real origami, like Konan can make. The leader watches her eyes lock on it, and he only continues to guide once they come back down to him. As promised, they are going towards where she has given them her music.

It’s about time someone gave her something, in turn.

A sad girl steps into another dream. So many, many flames… Candles on every surface that could hold them, and angels and paper roses hanging from the ceiling. The woman with a matching flower pinned to her bun steps forward once Pain goes aside. It could be a painting. It could be a movie. What—…?

“You may dismiss this,” the lord’s angel tells her, as the traveler did when she gave the first present this season, “If you so wish. But I hope this will be...sufficient.”

The performer’s lips part but she says nothing. Everyone stands together, the celestial ones in front, orange hair and blue centered among the others. The zombies, the shark and magician, the artists, even the strange dual-colored spy… Just all standing there...just...for her…?

“What’s the name of this holiday, Takara-chan?” the last man says, Tobi peeking in from behind. “We’ve got the gifts, but not the name!”

“...You,” the stranger stammers, breathless and shaking, “Got...me…?!”

Satchels, and boxes, and bags… Every person in a black and red cloak is holding something. The reality hits her all at once, and her eyes go wide, wide, wide. It’s less like she’s surprised and more like she’s scared to death. A million things are running through her head at once— calculations and sentiments and ideas of what this does or does not mean and what she should or should not do. One thing is evident over all, regardless of it all:

“I...didn’t." Shame chokes her throat. "...Do anything...for you guys…” So she doesn’t deserve this. So this shouldn’t be happening.

“Perhaps not today,” Pain speaks for them all— and indeed, none stand to disagree, “...But you have given us more than enough. We’ve heard of your festival, and we want to partake...that is, if you will so allow. Share with us, Takara. To give also means one must eventually take. This exchange has been prepaid by your favor."

Give...take…?! All she’s done is take, and all they’ve done is give…! She told Konan about Christmas— barely, even— and they’ve gone out of their way to try to bring it to her— the best approximation as they could with what little they had. They thought she was SAD to miss it! They did all this for HER! Give, take?! Why?!

...

...

But she knows why. It’s so hard to ignore when people love you, even when you want to. Even when you try to hide from it. That's something well-ingrained in this story by now.

...She sniffles.

...She tears up.

...She cries.

The group watches as little by little, the woman from another world loses herself. Her knees hit the floor, and her mouth is covered by her hands. One could say she’s broken...but the god knows better. The way she quivers, the way she refuses to make sound even if to scream would be of use… The stranger is holding it all in; has been.

The Akatsuki like shepherds under the North Star witness as their leader steps forward and kneels down to her level. A hand on her shoulder. It trembles with the effort it takes to not cry out from the bottom of her lungs. Even now...she won’t give in.

A line is crossed, as that won't do.

God takes her into his arms. It isn't fathomable at first. Someone like him...holding her? A god? A god and his men who are out to redeem the world? All that and...there's space for her. His chest is so cold, can't even hear his beating heart but as seconds pass it begins to retain her warmth. 

"Let go," he whispers, only for her ears.

...She weeps.

Her voice echoes in his empty rib cage, vibrates the metal rods that keep the corpse together. The lost, lonely traveler may finally accept his mercy, share her pain. Almost a shame that Nagato cannot feel her there, not the way his vessel does. He tries, but he's tried before...and that is simply something he can't do.

His bed feels colder than usual, but that is what it takes to be God, perhaps even enough of one to live up to her expectations.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You know

I'll never disappear

Now get us out of here

Don't fight with me, my dear

Why can't I be in here?

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

[vibratingskull]

Hewo! Can you do thrawn x female reader where he accidentally raising his voice/yelling,and then he immediately feel bad and things eventually get patched up

Thrawn loosing his temper? Damn, that sh*t must be serious!

ThrawnxF!reader

You hold on Thrawn’s stare. You hold your position, sure of yourself and your plan. 

Thrawn on the other hand... Doesn’t appear as convinced. 

“I can do it!” You insist, “If you give me the command of a special squad, hide the navette behind an asteroid that you will propulse with a tractor beam, I can come alongside his mothership, take down his crew and liquidate that fucker!” 

“I refuse.” He simply responds. 

The tone is controlled, calm, almost disinterested. 

“Grand Admiral! You know me and what I am capable of! You saw me in training, you saw my scores, you know my records and all my succeeded missions! I.can.do.it!” 

“Absolutely not.” 

“Thrawn! I ca-” 

“I said no!”  

You start at the sudden shout. 

Did he... Did he just raise his voice at you? 

You were so surprised and shocked you took a step back, with a loss for words. Thrawn had never raised his voice at you before. 

Never. 

No matter how angry he could get, he never raised his voice against you once! 

You gulp, so taken aback you have no idea what to do. Thrawn looks straight at you, gaze clear and decided, brows frowned and back straight. He raised on his feet when he shouted, slamming his two hands on his desk. You shudder under his gaze, not knowing what to say. 

“I... I just...” You feel your lips trembling and your voice cracks. 

Thrawn blinks and seems to snap out of his anger when he realizes how distraught you are. He skirts his desk and comes to embrace you, regretting his words. 

“Ch’acah...” He calls soflty, “Ch’acah forgive me. I did not intent to startle you.” He tries to soothe you, hugging you in his warm arms, pressing you against his broad chest, “But Nuso Esva is a trickster and a devious warrior. I do not doubt your capacities for a second, but he is too treacherous too reckon with a simple squad.”  

You tremble in his arms, slowly calming down from your shock state, hugging him back tentatively with shaking hands. 

“I just--wanted to be useful to you...” You manage to let out. 

“You are Ch’acah, more than you will ever know. But this man is too dangerous for you to take down alone. Your plan would work on any other target but this one, and I cannot bear to lose you.” 

You sigh back a sob, digging your nails in his white uniform. 

“If I let you die without trying to stop you, I could never recover from that. Please my love, understand that I am trying to save your life, not to disparage you in any way... Calm down my love.”  

His thumb comes to caress your cheek tenderly, pressing his palm against your jaw. He gently takes your chin to tilt your head to meatt his gaze. 

“Look at me Ch’acah. I am sorry for raising my voice, but I simply could not let you walk toward your death without putting an end to it. Will you forgive me?”  

His tone is calm and even before recoverng to its usual sterness, but his eyes... His eyes were begging, regretting the shock he instilled in you... 

You sniff a good time and smile to him. 

“Of course, Thrawn.” 

He looks at you intently before letting a sigh out and relaxing his shoulders. 

“Thank you, Ch’acah.” 

You push a strand of hair behind your ear to put up a front and look back to him. 

“Will you at least let me participate in the strategizing?” You ask, hopeful. 

You may not be able to take Nuso Esva down with a quick assassination mission as you do so well but you can still be useful in other ways. 

“Of course, my love. I take all your ideas seriously and await impatiently your opinion on my next plan.” He promises, a small comforting smile on his lips. “We will take him together.” 

This smile... 

Is only for you to see... 

Ever. 

@bluechiss @thrawnalani @justanothersadperson93 @al-astakbar@thrawnspetgoose @readinglistfics @elise2174 @debonaire-princess @twilekchiss @pencil-urchin @ineedazeezee @mssbridgerton @dance-like-russia-isnt-watching @Cortisolcosplay @obbicrystaleo @germie2037

[anti-dazai-blog]

miniseries -- BSD Characters as Musicals

part 1 -- ADA part 2 -- PM part 3 -- Guild part 4 -- DOA + Hunting Dogs

*standard disclaimer that this isn't meant to be taken too seriously

[content warning for musicals that heavily feature. 1930s-40s Germany and sexual abuse? I guess? not even sure what to call some of these]

Part 5 -- 15 + Stormbringer original Characters

Rimbaud -- Moulin Rouge

why? -- the whole 'I love you. But I have a job to do.' that he's got going on with Verlaine.

Rimbaud 🤝 Satine: 'I love you, I would die for you, but you are actively doing something that will put us both in danger and you gotta stop this.'

---

Verlaine -- Epic

why? -- he really does live by the "ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves" mindset.

he's really out here killing everyone. just to be safe. just to make sure there's no one left alive who could mess up his epic plans of hanging out with his brother.

very intentional of me to choose the Ocean Saga cover for the image here

---

Albatross -- Starlight Express

why? -- it's trains. it's about trains racing. and he's the fast transportation guy.

---

Pianoman -- Beetlejuice

why? -- they.. they like to wear the same aesthetic.

I'm positive he owns a black and white striped suit. it's practically canon.

---

Lippmann-- Mean Girls

why? -- well I'm not calling my guy Regina George but he sure does know how to play politics. Mr PR man. Beautiful. Can destroy your life if he so wished.

---

Iceman -- A Gentleman's Guide to Love and Murder

why? -- he's known to kill with whatever's on hand or available. Doesn't even bring his own weapons to a murder. Very Monty Navarro of him.

Monty 🤝 Iceman: getting a bit creative with the murder methods

---

Murase -- Cabaret

why? -- similar to Clifford Bradshaw, when he was desperate for work, he took a job that ultimately lead to him doing something harmful (in his case, killing children)

and I'd like to think that similar to Clifford, if he had the chance to just. straight up beat up the government (or his brother) that had him doing this job, he would.

although he's still in contact with N, I'd like to think that if he were made aware of what was going on, he would choose violence.

[content warning before you go and listen to cabaret: if you're not familiar with Cabaret, this is fully about nazi germany. and although clifford (the male lead) does beat up a nazi, it ultimately doesn't end well for anyone. so. do with that what you will.]

---

N -- G*psy

why? -- it's the whole Making someone into something they're not. whether they like it or not. Molding someone into what you want them to be. Forcibly.

I was debating between N or Mori for this one, but Mori's more subtle than this.

The scene where Rose forces Louise to do the strip show really was just. blatant. The taking of someone's bodily autonomy through force for personal gain.

Both N and Rose use more manipulation tactics than physical force to strong-arm people. And both are convinced that they're not doing anything wrong. No matter how bad their actions are, they're convinced that they're working towards some greater goal.

and they both pretty much get away with it

(N dying doesn't count because from his pov he still succeeded in every way)

---

Dr. Mary Wollstonecraft -- Firebringer

why? -- we're back to the silly goofy musicals!! yeah it's just for the whole appreciation of innovation. hot take, Mary and Zazzalil would get along. in fact Mary would respect her. The inventor of fire and the inventor of sentient androids. they'd love that.

---

Adam -- Maybe Happy Ending

why? -- androids going against their programming by falling in love with each other? This would be his new 'watch on repeat' show

which he could do literally. as an android. he could attend the show once and record it with his internal cameras, and then watch it whenever he wants.

I recognize that he's a law enforcement officer of some sort and it's probably not encouraged for him to take illegal recordings, however. he does have free will. so let him do with that what he will.

---

Shirase -- Bad Cinderella

why? -- Thinks of himself as cool. Everyone around him finds him annoying.

I'm so sorry Shirase I love you but you're objectively an annoyance to everyone who puts up with you.

[rewatching-sam-and-dean]

Legitimate Question: Demon Sam and Soulless Dean, what would that be like?

To Start, let’s take a look at what we did get on Supernatural. First, Soulless Sam is frigging terrifying. This character is executed so well and the build-up leading to how dangerous he is is done greatl. At first, once we know he’s soulless, Sam is actually kind of amusing. He’s a dick, but a funny dick (kind of like Dean, but with a harder edge). This is especially jarring when Sam is usually the more empathetic of the brothers, or at least the more restrained one. This peaks, of course, in "Clap Your Hands if You Believe" when he basically steals the show (for me at least … "Safe room…"). We also see that he’s clever and not squeamish (his bloody smile in "Caged Heat" anyone?). But then we see that strong survival instinct and just how far he’ll go to protect himself. Killing Bobby so he can’t have his soul forced back inside him (and the potential danger of it) is … a lot. He isn’t maliciously going after Bobby, it’s just a means that will be justified in the end (for him), and that’s scarier than if he was just angry. He just. Does. Not. Care. And it’s amazing. Later, and in "Clap your Hands." We also see that he bangs every attractive woman that moves in his general vicinity, which is also very unlike our regular, more caring, Sam.

Secondly, we have Demon Dean. This guy is a little more hit and miss for me. When we are introduced to this version of Dean, I have to be honest, my first reaction was, "So, he's basically just a loser, doichebag?" I get the intention of a Dean who doesn’t care and is just out to have fun, free of responsibility or guilt. Whereas Soulless Sam just literally can not give a fuck and ends up being a dick because of it, Demon Dean revels in being a dick. The Demon element in him enjoys being mean and hurting people just because he can. But he doesn’t feel scary at first, just shitty. In the second and third episodes of Season 10, Demon Dean is much more intimidating, the fight with annoying military guy is excellent in showing the scary side of this Dean. He is literally just toying with the man, like a cat playing with a mouse until it’s heart gives out from fear, and the cat just wanders off, now bored. I’ve seen some fans say Dean letting what’s his face (I legitimately can’t remember his name, but I didn’t like the character so I don’t care to look it up) live was an act of mercy, even though Dean himself says it will torment him more knowing he failed to kill Dean, after spending most of his life training for it, than if he had died fighting to avenge his father. I’m inclined to take Dean's word on that. So, yes, this Dean is scary and vindictive. However, the biggest difference in Demon Dean is that he doesn’t care about keeping Baby clean. No, but seriously, he enjoys mocking Sam and their family, and then he tries to kill him. Would he have succeeded if Castiel hadn’t stepped in, as in, would he have actually killed Sam? I’m not sure. But the fact that he wanted to is the polar opposite if the real Dean. For me, Demon Dean had some weak moments and some amazing moments, but he’s definitely not our Dean.

So, if we use these two as a templates for soullessness and becoming a demon, it gives a bit if a template to start with. First, when you’re soulless, you still have instincts and seem to feel certain things like amusement, sexual pleasure, satisfaction (in being successful in a hunt), and a survival instinct. However, you lack the deeper emotions like love, your morality, concern for others, empathy. Jared once described soulless Sam as just being incredibly logical. However, we have also seen throughout the series that soullessness doesn’t affect everybody in the same way (a lot of people seem to do terrible things just because they were curious or are very impulsive). Second, Jensen once described Demon Dean as feeling lighter than regular Dean because he didn’t care about anyone or his responsibilities. So we know, similar to being soulless, demons just don’t care about people (though Azazel seemed to care about Meg in a way). We also see that they enjoy toying with people, inflicting pain (mental even more than physical, for the most part), and they are pretty much also all about their own survival. The biggest difference is, I guess, that they are more actively vindictive and have more true emotion than a soulless person. Also, like with soulless people, demons are somewhat different depending on who they were before becoming demons.

So, if Sam was a demon, say if he kept hitting the demon blood and crossed over, what would he be like? I’m inclined to believe he has the potential to be scarier than Dean, in that he would likely be more focused and goal oriented as a demon. So, would he be pretty much just like soulless Sam, having a lot of sex and killing a lot (people instead of monsters). Would he enjoy toying with people like Dean did, or would he just ruthlessly kill anyone that got in his way. Would he not be all that different because he spent most (or all) of his life with some demon blood running through his veins already? Would he become the new king of hell, leading like he was supposed to as one of the psychic kids? Would he kill Dean for all the times he tried to control his life or because he made Sam feel human in some way, or would he stay away knowing the unknown would make Dean crazy? We saw him threaten Cass when he was soulless. Would he just kill him as a demon for the times he’s screwed the boys over or just because he’s an angel, or would he just be indifferent to him?

What about Dean, if he was soulless, would he act the same as when he was a demon, mostly drinking and having sex, but without the "fun" of messing with people because soulless people don’t seem to feel enjoyment in that way? Or would he go the Sam route and become a monster killing machine, but even more so? I think Dean is more of a fighter/killer than Sam, so it’s possible that while Sam went methodical hunter, Dean would lean into the killeing machine side of things. How would he react to Sam if he couldn’t feel love for him anymore? Would he still have that instinctual drive to protect him, but he just like locks him in the dungeon to keep him safe so he can go out and get stuff done without looking out for him? Or would a Dean who doesn’t love Sam just say screw it, and leave? Would Dean even be an enjoyable character if he didn’t care about Sam, or go fanboy over various different things? How would he treat Cass, like an occasionally useful tool that he’d summon if he needed him (which, let’s be honest, he does even as his normal self at times) on a hunt or something, or would he just ignore him altogether? Would soulless Dean be more similar to MOC Dean, just less angry?

I think I’ll ponder this more and do a follow up post later, but in the meantime …

I really don’t know the answers to my dozens of questions, so if anyone has thought about this in some detail, please do comment, reblog or shoot me an ask with your ideas. I’d love to hear people’s thoughts on Demon!Sam and Soulless!Dean.

[spookymonthcultau]

Lila's panic was relieved and replaced by utter bewilderment. Why would an officer be visiting her at this late hour? Could her mute hysteria have been so clearly audible?As misgivings about the identity of the man at the door were definitely present, the woman first peered through the door peephole. Finding no sign of a cult on the man, she opens the door.

- Hello, Mr. Policeman! I didn't call for help and I don't think my son could have done it since he's sound asleep. - Lila giggled nervously.

- I apologize for disturbing you at this late hour, miss, but the purpose of my visit is far more personal. May I come in? - John asked.

He was frowning and serious, unlike the woman, whose mood verged on mild nervousness.She was still perplexed, but allowed him inside, closing the door.Then she heard something she definitely did not expect.

- Miss, I will be honest with you to the end. I believe there's a cult in this town. And there's a recent theory that you might be involved in their affairs. I'd like you to tell me everything you know. I've been wanting to get to the truth for a long time, but I haven't had enough leads all along. If you have any information, I would like to know it. I hope I don't have to resort to violence.A nervous exhale escapes the woman's lips. Silence is not an option; she will be threatened with a weapon, most likely. Shall I tell it like it is? Does she look suicidal? That would cause even more trouble for her personally. Well, I guess she'd have to use the tricks she'd picked up while she was in the cult.Straightening up and smiling affably, she began:

- Well, your resourcefulness is commendable, no one has ever come this close to learning about something so intimate. - Lila walked leisurely around John, her fingertips barely touching his shoulder. - However, I strongly advise against delving any deeper into this abyss. I know from personal experience what happens to those who go against it. Kidnapping a man I love, I got off easy, but usually cultists prefer bloodier payback.

She stared at him, raising her eyebrows slightly, resting her hand thoughtfully on her chin. Despite the fact that her heart was thudding against the walls of her ribs, she could see that she'd put the cop to shame, which was undoubtedly gratifying.John, however, was not a timid man, and so he repeated firmly:

- Do you have any information?

-Do you have children?

The sheriff was again confused and shook his head slightly.

- Confidential information, miss.

- Hmm, I'll take that as a yes. In that case, I'm afraid your children are in danger, or do you really think you can go against the will of the universe? It's in the hands of the cult, so you'll be doomed to suffer if you decide to play against the rules.

Seeing John's face darken in despair, she mentally rejoiced that she had succeeded, but on the other hand, she was terribly ashamed to let herself be manipulated, even if it was for her own good.Thinking seriously about Lila's words, the policeman bowed his head.

- We'll talk tomorrow, miss. Have a good evening.

- You too, mister! - she shrieked good-bye, smiling awkwardly and closing the exit door.

The sheriff, walking slowly down the sleeping street, pondered now about the nephews he had left in his care, now about Lila's words that all the effort was futile, now about how powerful this cult was, if she said it ruled the universe? Never mind, he would talk to her again tomorrow, but in a more formal setting. And even his bruised state won't hurt. He's hopeful.

***

- What do you need me for, Mr. Mayor? - Patty asks meekly, walking into the office and stopping by the desk.

- It's elementary simple, Patty, all you have to do is correct the case. Specifically, to make it clear that the victim was intoxicated. - Smiling good-naturedly and folding his arms on the table.

The pathologist looks down at the file in mild bewilderment and opens it, his eyebrows arched in even greater incomprehension of what is happening.

- Wouldn't such a lie in Jack's case only make the case worse?

- Not at all, Patty. Alcohol works wonders, and if you write that little correction, the case is closed. Isn't that great? - Evidently Evermore didn't like the fact that Patty had the nerve to ask questions, but keeping a straight face is the golden rule of high society.

- But to shut down a problem with a lie like that is simply ignoring it.

-Aren't you, as mayor.

- As mayor, I am ordering you to carry out what you have said. As a man who has ruled for a long time and pulled on the business, I certainly know better how to please the people. So you'd better learn how to interact with the opposite sex first, then there wouldn't be any silly questions in your bright head. - The man interrupted her unceremoniously, rising from his chair and lifting her head slightly by the chin. To amuse his ego, to emphasize his superiority.Patty's stomach turned cold and she looked away, showing her discomfort, and backed away slightly to avoid being touched. It was unpleasant to hear that, and even worse, she couldn't think of a coherent answer.

- Still, I found the idea...

- Patty, I don't recall asking for your opinion. - And again, the interruption, this time in a slightly elevated tone. - So pick up your pen and go! You are well aware of my credentials, so unless you want to be paid a pittance for your slave labor, reinforce your status as a good worker.

Even before she could object, he added with a foxy chuckle:

- But if low pay is, ironically, the minutiae of life to you, your reputation is long and problematic to repair. And you don't want to get yourself in trouble, do you? Ha ha, you'd still have to deal with the problems in your personal life, and there's more forming on top of that, so I'd advise you to think twice. If blondes are allowed to think.

The woman sighed heavily, taking her pen and quickly adding the necessary phrase.Evermore watched with genuine pleasure at Patty, who, having no other choice, simply obeyed him. She was obviously humiliated and frustrated, and that only made it more fun.Smiling meekly, he escorted the forensic scientist with a glance, only smirking a dry, "Have a good evening."Peeking into the case, a meek chuckle erupted, and then the mayor pulled out his phone, outputting meekly:

"The case has been corrected. Consider the plan already completed."

To which there is an immediate second response:

"The eyes of the universe are enjoying the show. It's proud of you."

- The eyes of the universe are proud of me. - he mutters smugly, putting the file away in his desk drawer. Then, turning to the wide window, Evermore looks up at the starry sky. Dark, distant, alluring, and mysterious.

[holyguardian]

Somnus treated her with kindness, perhaps more than she deserved. She sounded like a child, frightened by scary stories, seeing connections where any rational person could probably explain it away with a scoff. But he reasoned with her. Conveyed that he believed her, no matter how far-fetched it seemed.

Aerith drew in a short breath when his hand stilled hers. His hold steady and calm, and for a brief moment her attention lowered to where he touched her. It was such an innocent gesture. How many times had she been told to be still, and here he was, simply guiding her to stillness.

She was so focused on that physical connection that she almost didn't give proper weight to his words. She heard him. But the reaction was slow to find her.

It was only when he bowed his head to seek her gaze out that she finally looked at him properly again. She must seem... well, she didn't know. On edge. Scattered. It wasn't an easy topic to brush upon, because if she were in any way right, Jenova had almost succeeded in wiping out the Cetran heirs.

That was not a comfortable thought to sit with.

"I don't. But I think... no, I know my mother does." His gentle questions though. They seemed to guide her to a solution she had never pondered herself. "She would not tell me in this life. But there might be a voice from the past who might, if I had reason enough."

It wasn't as though she wanted to plot another impromptu mission, an incredibly dangerous one at that. "No. I have to convince her to take my concerns more seriously, she would not ignore the possibility of Jenova having an influence like this if I approached her again, without all the panic surrounding everyone. Thankyou for giving me this nudge."

She tilted her head then. A subtle gesture. "Instead I can ask my ancestors more important questions. Like how Jenova's sickness was purged from our kingdom. Maybe there's something there."

Heal the world. That was exactly it. Somnus could only nod to that, with a roll of his eyes. He was not allowed to speak ill much of Ardyn within the castle walls. Or in general. Their parents had asked for them to remain civil with each other. But the rift that had formed between them was growing with each day.

They could not see eye to eye in this. And Somnus wondered when his older brother, whom he had once admired, had started to be so blind to the world.

Aerith had all the answers that the books in the library of Lucis had not. Jenova. Something that had come to Eos. Gaia. The Planet. There were so many names for the same thing… for a moment Somnus wondered whether Jenova was just another name for one of their legends and myths. But nothing came to mind.

Jenova sounded like a real threat. A monster… fit to be the one who caused the Daemons, the Starscoruge.

That was… something that sounded far-fetched for most scholars. But all these scholars had yet to come up with an explanation.

So Somnus listened. And in the end he shook his head.

“You do not sound like that… there always is merit and truth to our old stories. Even if time changed details. Often they were warnings.”, he said, getting up from the chair and walking over to Aerith. His hand seeking hers, where she fidgeted and fumbled with her fingers, her own held hers calm for a moment. He wanted her to tell him, he had asked after all. And he was grateful for any answer he was given.

“What if you are right? We do not know where the Scourge came from. We do not know how to banish it. It seems hopeless. It is too strong… just like your Jenova was.”

He bowed his head slightly, trying to catch Aerith’s green eyes, make her look at him.

“… do you know where she is imprisoned? You converse with your ancestors through the lifestream, through Holy, right? In a way… even I could hear them faintly today. Would you be able to ask them…?”

[blingblong55]

Knock 'em dead kid- 141

This is based on a request:

F!Reader, assassin! reader, mentions of blood,

Backstory:

Before working with the team, you were working as a mercenary for a private military company. You dealt with hard missions, always succeeding though. You were one of the best highly trained soldiers your branch could ever seek for. Always completing the mission with no regrets, and no other questions asked. No one in your old team ever mess with you, they knew what you could be capable of if left with you alone for 30 seconds.

You are now a 28 year old soldier, a badass with snipes, automatic rifles, and your favorite an M-16. After Price visited his old friend he found you. You had just arrived from a mission with your team, you were well groomed for what you had just done. He sure thought you were just another young one. No experience under your belt. Now it was hard to judge you, all of your missions had been redacted, the only thing he could see was your name, alias, age and who you were currently working for, besides that everything else was cleared out.

"you are coming with me kid." he said, handing you your assignment. You grabbed your bags and off you went.

---------------

It has been a year working with the Task Force. They all tried to take you seriously, but you looked so adorable, like a little kid. You were so small compared to them all. And the way you would look up at them with those kind innocent eyes of yours, how could they ever tell who you were when alone with the enemy.

And apparently tonight would be the night they met "grim" the alias you had earned over the years. As the team geared up, soap approached you. Cocky bastard behavior tonight, you thought. "if you feel like you are in danger you call out for me, I'll protect ya lass." he gave you a smug smile. "sure, I'll do that" you rolled your eyes when you turned from him.

By 0300, the team had touched ground, you all in night vision. "Ghost, soap, grim, take left, gaz, delta, you stay with me." Price commanded, the team splits up, you trail behind the men. "Stay close grim." soap said, you nod. At some point you reach your spot. But things turn left quickly. As you all ducked down, two rounds start flying towards you all. Ghost orders you both follow him. He finds a small trench. It was a gun fight for a while.

And after much fight, you guys can finally move forward. Soap always making sure you are behind him. ''Soap watch our backs, Grim, you stay with me." Ghost cold voice whispers. You two enter a building, ghost gets hit in the face by the butt of a gun. You duck down, "soap, come in!" you order at him. But you couldn't wait for him. So you grab your gun, push a few away from your commander and with a knife you stab on in the eye, you cold bloodlessly take the knife out. The man holds onto his face, kneeling down.

You look back at Ghost who happens to still be on the ground. You finish the man with a bullet through the back of his skull. The other men start bolting towards you. You kick one away as the other holds you by the throat. You wish you could make a joke, but you have to protect your team. It was the first time you worked with a full team. It was odd to be selfless.

Your elbow comes in contact with the mans stomach and as the other gets up, you quickly grab the mans arm, biting into it and then you flip him over. He falls to the ground. You hold your knife close, you start fighting with the other man, your knife cutting his skin. Blood splatters on your face, leaking down your shirt. The man slaps you to which you quickly punch him.

Meanwhile, Soap arrives. He was in shock watching you fight. He tried to approach you, "stay back, help Ghost up." you stabbed the man in his abdomen, you pull your gun out and shoot at his chest twice. You turn back to the man you had flipped around. He has a gun pointed at you, his hands trembling. "not so good are you." you grab his gun, throwing it away. You kick his balls, to which you earn a groan. Price walks in, thinking you and the other men had cleared the room. He was in shock, seeing how a woman of your size took down the big guys.

Gaz walks in, and immediately looks at soap. "yep." he nods, knowing the question gaz was about to ask.

You finish the man, shooting him in the head. More blood splashed onto you. You turn to find the team. They had once seen you as the new kid, a harmless little thing, and now you were here standing in front of them. You smile. "done!"

Your eyes meet there's, you start to laugh at their reactions. Even Ghost, although masked, can really be expressive with his eyes. "you should wash that look now. we have a mission to complete."

Price takes a closer look at the men you've killed. "those men were the mission."

"oh..sorry?"

He chuckled like a proud father and walked over to you, handing you an old handkerchief. "wipe your face and let's go home yeah?"

you nod, that sweet little girl look in your eyes. He was really terrified at that. How can you just switch up on them so easily, dont know, but they were impressed, scared and proud, all at once.

A/N: I honestly believe that was the day Ghost was afraid of something...

I really hope you did like it, also I know this is shorter than my usuals, sorry about that

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!

[bitchlessbkg]

Help Him

recently i’ve become apart of the “bakugou’s gonna try to save shigaraki” belief from these past few chapters, especially now with Tenko popping up, and i just gotta say — i fear heavily for my boy if (when) he succeeds 💀

no seriously, AFO’s regular body is regenerating, and it looks like the AFO team isn’t doing so hot right now in order to continue — hawks’ feathers are scarce and enji is missing an entire arm and has used up his energy/power on those last attacks. our girl jirou has lost half her quirk and i’m not too sure about tokoyami yet but i’m afraid for him as well when this continues.

so regular AFO may be having a comeback, and if he receives the news that bakugou katsuki has somehow freed tomura shigaraki from his grasps, i fear the anger that AFO will hold, because this is EXACTLY what happened in the past, isn’t it?

this second user looking kid is coming to free yochi 2.0 from his grasps (and we know how AFO gets about his brother, disturbingly so) hereby jeopardizing his plans to overtake shigaraki’s mind/body, gain OFA, and rule over japan. AFO also witnessed second user gather allies in order to rebel against him, and i’m not entirely sure how it played out (we’ll have to see second’s backstory) but i think he nearly succeeded (at the very least him reaching out to yochi revealed itself to be a massive threat for sure). the only difference would be that second user sacrificed allies while bakugou is all about saving your allies in a fight, zero casualties (but we also know he’s one to save at the expense of himself — mr “i’ll break myself to achieve victory,” was doing cartwheels with two holes in him to save his allies in the first war, and he currently has a fucked up arm he’s not letting jeanist do anything about. i still think he’ll do some sort of sacrifice — fear for this boy).

so in AFO’s failure to break bakugou’s spirit and kill him before he gets the chance to do anything significant to shigaraki and for deku’s rage, if (who am i kidding, WHEN) bakugou prevails, what more reason to want him dead if he can kill two birds with one stone — kill the man who fucked up his plans AND get deku to rage in order to take OFA for himself.

In other words, as pikahlua said — oh boy he’s in danger

[power-chords]

She’s also going to try to track down a therapist who specializes in mood disorders, costs less $$$, and can see me sustainably long-term for talk therapy. I told her that I was having trouble processing what happened to me, probably a common sentiment in the aftermath of psychotic mania. She said I was lucky, that she sees a ton of bipolar patients, and that the fallout from mine was “nothing” (which was not to diminish the extremity of my experience, only to emphasize just how destructive the disease can be and often is). I had just enough insight, grit, and craftiness to recognize that my beliefs and perceptions were bizarre and required concealment from loved ones/employers. It was a blessing and a curse — on the one hand, very few people figured out that I was sick. On the other hand, very few people figured out that I was sick! What might have lasted three weeks dragged on for three months because the (reasonable, lmao) threat of involuntary commitment petrified me. I’d done the psychiatric ward once before in 2008 while waiting for a bed at Silver Hill to open up. Those 36 hours in a blank, padded room scarred me worse than anything I had ever done or had done to me under the influence. I was completely unprepared for the terror and humiliation that is the total revocation of one’s autonomy. The nurses were callous, and I felt like an animal. To call it dehumanizing is an understatement. As hostile as the environment in my head was becoming, I was convinced that the ER posed the more immediate danger and had to be avoided at any cost.

Somehow I succeeded. I was listening to a clinician on a podcast the other day, this guy who runs an outpatient facility for people with mood disorders, and he said that manic episodes inevitably end in one of three ways: death, jail, or hospitalization. HA HA! Not for me! Meep meep, bitch! Weaseled my way out of that one!!! (Ironically, it’s a permutation of the old AA/NA refrain I had heard so many times before: "We are people in the grip of a continuing and progressive illness whose ends are always the same: jails, institutions, and death." Dodged two bullets, apparently.) I have to laugh about it so I don't cry.

I'm sure it's annoying that I'm posting about this so much but having my whole life upended again at 36 was not on my bingo card. I had been so stable for so long, I was by all accounts a well-adjusted, normie-passing yuppie, and assumed the psychic turmoil of my youth was ancient history. It is a miracle that I was not seriously injured — for a while I was wandering city streets late at night, believing no harm could come to me — and that my career and finances have survived intact. The statistics on bipolar illness are astonishingly grim. It’s like being in possession of a nuke inside your skull that can arm itself without warning and the codes to destroy your own life. You think of yourself as a sane person; you take for granted that the state of "sanity" is a robust and stable one, and that only the most extreme circumstances would push you over the edge. It is, and I do not use this term lightly, traumatizing to spend 12 consecutive weeks unmoored from reality and behaving in ways that are completely at odds with your personality. I am not a paranoid, angry person. I don’t hold grudges or presume the worst of others’ intentions. On the contrary! If anything, I am too trusting, too forgiving. I reflect on this past summer and don’t even recognize myself. The existential reckoning, the guilt and the shame, are overwhelming.

Last week I finished reading An Unquiet Mind and one of the things that struck me is how fortunate this woman was in three respects: the timing of when her manic depression struck (I.E., at intervals that still permitted her to finish college/her post-graduate studies), the uncommonly generous support of her family and colleagues (back when the stigma against mental illness was even worse than it is now), and probably most significant of all, access to superlative medical care (the UCLA psychiatric department) and responsiveness to lithium treatment. I benefit, thank god, from a situation with many of the same resources. She's led a fulfilling, successful, and ultimately long life. It felt good to read about a woman who played a "happy ending" out of the rotten hand she'd been dealt, whose experiences reflected so many of my own, and who seems to have retained her sharpness and verbal acuity well into old age. Cognitive decline is common as the illness progresses, and this is my greatest fear of all.

What's immediately, tragically evident in perusing the r/bipolar subreddit is just how many people find themselves in the exact opposite position. Insanity strikes at the worst possible moment; abandonment ensues from friends and employers, relatives and spouses; therapy and medication are lacking and insufficient, respectively. Financial and social ruin, and the resultant despair, are frequent outcomes. Dependency on SSDI and/or abusive and inescapable housing situations are documented left and right. The scope of the devastation is harrowing, and the guilt and humiliation that follows on its heels is a compounding cruelty. Knowing this, I am opting to feel lucky instead of unlucky. It has not been easy. It will not be easy. But I am as stubborn as they come, and I will figure shit out. "One day at a time," to borrow another 12-Step adage.

Dr. Ferrari referred me to a ketamine clinic and we're shooting for the week after Thanksgiving to commence infusions. She wants to space them out more than is typical, like every four days as opposed to every other day, to minimize the risk of triggering mania. But that's strictly precautionary and she thinks I'm an excellent candidate overall. Fingers crossed...

[egg-emperor]

Modern Eggman would be a bit disappointed that Boom Egg's goals aren't that big because he's only targeting an island and can't understand how he hasn't succeeded yet. But it's because Boom will only take it so far and wishes he could get attention in the form of friends but can't so he does this. Modern would try to convince him to expand his horizons and try aim higher but he'd realize he just doesn't have it in him. He'd sort of accept it eventually but would tease and call him a wannabe villain.

When Casino AU Eggman hears about Boom Eggman's ways he's like "Aww, that's the most evil you've ever been? That's so cute." and Boom gets flustered like "What? It is evil, don't make fun of me!" Casino Egg teases him like "Oh I'm not, you're sooo evil and scary~" and pinches his cheeks while he crosses his arms and pouts. He thinks he's just a cute barely evil little guy and it's adorable and funny that it seems like nothing is seriously evil, threatening, or intimidating about him in the slightest XD

But with that, Casino Egg also thinks to himself "Damn I better make sure I never tell him about the worst things I've done 😳" because his evil and how low he can stoop makes him seem totally depraved and deranged and makes Boom look so innocent in yet another way compared to himself lol. Modern also spares the more gruesome detail of his actions, so Boom Egg won't fall out with both of them, but he still gets to hear about some of the crazy shit they've done that he'd never do himself

Modern tries to urge Boom Egg to dream bigger because he wants every world to be conquered by every version of himself, it's important for all to succeed. But if Boom Egg won't do it, he can always come over and dominate his world for him too, after he's succeeded in his own as he will be greedy enough to want more anyway. He has to accept that Boom Egg isn't that evil but he'll always be confused and disapproving of his desire to befriend Sonic and friends XD

Casino Egg doesn't tell Boom Egg that he does anything evil outside of with modern at first because he wants him to think what he does for work is legit, safe, and legal as long as possible, as he does with most people aside from his most trusted crew and modern Eggman. It's also his way of what he believes is keeping him safe and unaware of the dangers of his lifestyle to save anxiety. Plus he likes his cute funny personality and wants to keep him innocent. Well mostly anyway... ;) but in terms of evil, he doesn't want to taint him

[thefanficmonster]

Hey, I'm the 3word anon! I guess to make this easier, you call call me 📚🌻

I just wanted to say that you did an amazing job! I loved reading what you've done! You said that you wanted more words so here it is your next words: tradition, needle and tribute

Love, 📚🌻

I'm so glad you liked it dear 📚🌻 ! I absolutely love this challenge and I don't think I'll ever get tired of it hehe. Hope you enjoy this one too!

Freedom

Pairing: Rick Flag x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of drug use, Mentions of injury Spoiler Free 😊

Genre: Romance, Humor

“Flag, I have someone coming on-board with you.“ Waller’s voice comes in through the radio of the jet colonel Rick Flag was about to take off with, taking the Suicide Squad on their newly assigned mission.

He rolls his eyes, engine of the jet roaring to signal it’s ready to lose contact with the ground and rise up into the skies - much like Rick, who’s already fed up with the Squad’s members who are explicitly annoying and pesky today, promising him a ton of headaches in the near future. With that in mind, these news Waller has given him so suddenly, he’s not particularly excited to welcome another lunatic on the jet. Another lunatic to deal with.

“Who the hell are you sending? Don’t you think my hands are already full enough?!“ He yells at the top of his lungs in order for his voice to overpower the engine’s loudness.

“I’m here to help you, you ungrateful piece of shit!“ This voice, familiar voice, doesn’t emerge from the radio, instead it’s coming from right behind him and is equally as strained as his due to the loud, ear-bleeding surroundings.

Before Rick can even comprehend the presence of another person, said person gets seated on the copilot’s seat, equipping a pair of headphones so the two can communicate without pushing their lungs to the brink of giving out.

“What the hell are you doing here, L/N?“ He asks, his eyes unable to hide even a little bit of the confusion that the girl’s presence has brought upon him.

Contrary to his seriousness and shock, the girl gives him a bright, almost teasing smile, “Oh come on, Flag. I have a soft spot for you, you know, I like helping you.“ She tilts her head ever so slightly, “And I don’t feel like giving Waller the pleasure of detonating this bomb at the back of my neck.“

“Thought so.“ He scoffs, watching Y/N’s movements out of the corner of his eye as she straps herself in. 

She rolls her eyes, cracking her knuckles before turning to him, deciding to pick up on this petty war, just to make matters worse for Rick and more amusing for herself, “Aren’t you gonna shoot me? I mean, it’s our tradition.”

Rick cringes, recalling the exact event - or rather events, plural - she’s referring to: the night he arrested her and a few others, all henchmen of the Joker. Unlike her co-workers however, Y/N put up one hell of a fight while those fuckers chose flight. Their decision didn’t get them far while hers led her to the hospital wing of the Belle Reve prison, a bullet in her side fired at her by colonel Flag. Seeing the report files on the altercation, Waller immediately knew the girl was something else and recruited her for the Suicide Squad.

Unfortunately, her first instinct when her eyes first landed upon the colonel was to pounce at him, despite her low chances of succeeding in her intentions considering there were guards and soldiers literally everywhere, all with guns ready to fire. Yet still, Flag was the one who shot her yet again, this time less dangerously close to fatal.

Yeah, she has a right to be pissed and a right to call it their tradition, but it’s also safe to say that their dynamic has improved. They went on to go on a few more missions together without any complications or unwanted altercations. Sure, there were snide remarks and petty comments here and there, but those could be considered compliments when compared to the shootings.

“When are you gonna let that go?“ Rick snaps, his eyes remaining fixated ahead while the jet slowly ascends, “I got you off the streets. I freed you from that psychopath. The last thing you should be is mad!”

There is a long pause between the two, leading Rick to sneak a glance at his co-pilot. She appears to be deep in thought, staring ahead much like he’s supposed to be doing right now. She doesn’t seem like she’s conjuring up a sarcastic response which would be totally up her alley, but oddly enough she seems to be genuinely thinking about what he said. He starts feeling a bit shitty for having snapped at her like that - she wasn’t completely wrong to keep rubbing it in his face, she did suffer two gunshot wounds from him, after all.

“I’m not mad.“ Y/N finally speaks up, not sparing him as much as a look, “I’m grateful. The Joker isn’t the only thing I was trying to escape. One half the day I was doing his dirty work, the other half I had a needle stuck in my arm or was out cold in a drug induced half-coma.“ This time she does turn to take in the expression change that’s happened on his face and she seems pleased with the shock and confusion she sees. “Bet you didn’t know that, did ya?“ Contemplating her next move for a second, she plays with the belts of her bulletproof vest and gear before seemingly deciding on what to do. Her fingers quickly undo the belts and buttons of the gear that’s covering her torso, removing the strong and dense protective material to expose the skin of her side where there’s a scar where she had to have surgery to get the bullet removed. Around the scar there’s a tattoo of a peculiar looking flower, masking the line as a part of itself, “I got that tattoo as a reminder of that night. A tribute to more than one freedom coming to me at once.” She quickly readjusts her gear, and slumps into the seat with a sigh of a deflating balloon. “No longer a slave, no longer an addict. Though, addicts are slaves too - slaves to our own brain’s dependency on a substance that’s destroying us.”

Rick is at a loss for words. He wasn’t expecting that, never did he think Y/N was an addict as well prior to being a henchwoman and then a prisoner. That’s probably due to the fact that she’s always been in a great physical shape, ready to take on the enemy whenever and wherever. “Damn, fucking hell, I’m sorry you had to go through that, Y/N...“ He really doesn’t know what’s there to say when he now feels even shittier than he did before.

He almost jumps out of his skin when he feels her hand on his bicep, “I would still be going through it if it wasn’t for you. In fact, come to think of it, I should apologize for pouncing at you like that when all you did was do me a favor.” She giggles quietly before adding, “But I won’t.”

He too allows himself a small laugh, “I wasn’t expecting you to.“

Of course he wasn’t, he’s come to know her well. And he also knows it’s nothing personal - Y/N is simply not the type of girl who apologizes. That he can stomach, but imagining his co-pilot seat unoccupied on the way back from this mission he cannot.

Damn it, Flag. God fucking damn you, you’ve done it again haven’t you, he asks himself, knowing the answer perfectly well already.

[neko-rogers]

All I Ever Need

Peter warned you about the dangers of online dating.

words: 4,007

tags: dark!peter parker, strong and explicit non-consensual elements, manipulation, implications of sex-pollen or drugging, lowkey breeding kink

a/n: please forgive me! i’m still new to writing dark!versed fics <3 but this was a request and i couldn’t resist (: if you liked this then you are free to help me out and improve my writing by leaving feedback or suggesting prompts that i could write about

     It was emotionally crushing.

     The moment you decided to create a Tinder account led you to all sorts of feelings. 

     As someone who had been busy with your final year of college, you never thought of engaging much in the relationships territory. With all these, you could only focus on finally graduating and obtaining a stable job. The idea that you were providing for yourself, without having to depend on a significant other, was fulfilling.

     It did not help further considering that most of your group of friends were just as hardworking as you. Peter Parker was one the closest and much more than just a good influence. Truly too good to be true.

     Nonetheless, you finally tried out those infamous dating applications you have been hearing. Despite warnings from your friends about how dangerous it can be, you were confident that you were smart enough to handle it.

     “You're still hung up on that app?” Peter interrupts alongside.

     The professor dismissed the class moments ago, and at least half of the people already exited the room. As always, Peter waited for you before heading for next subject.

     Admittedly, you were a bit caught up with your phone. Swiping left and right sounded boring, but for some reason you found it amusing how convenient it can be – the interaction and messages was a bonus. “So what if I am?”

     You lock your phone before Peter got to snoop further. Both your reflections could be seen amongst the black screen as you placed it on top of your other textbooks to be carried.

     “Any interaction online is dangerous,” he explains. “I thought you out of all people should know that, Y/N.”

     You roll your eyes at his remark. “You’re only a year older than me yet you sound like my dad. You know I’m already twenty-two, right?”

     “I’d hate to be the one to say I told you so when your world comes crashing down,” he consoles. 

     “Oh thats bullshit, Parker.” You could almost laugh at his sense of ridicule. “Like you said, I’m smart. I’m sure I’ll be able to handle online dating. Have faith in me, yeah?” 

     “Yeah, whatever. It’s fine.” Peter nods, still beside as you walked along the hallway. “It’s not like you’re already going on a date with one of them, right.” His assumption comes off as a statement rather than a question.

     However, you stay quiet seeming as it was best to leave it unanswered.

     “Oh no, please don’t tell me you’re seeing someone already.” Peter looks back when you decided to stay a meter behind him to save you from the guilt.

     “It’s just a second date, it won’t harm me,” you defended. “Plus, he goes to the community college nearby.”      “What?! You two are already on your second date before you told me, or anyone of your friends?” You could understand where his temper was coming from, but in the end, it was none of their business.

     “I know, but I just thought it wasn’t a big deal. Besides this is about me and Jacob.”

     Fortunately enough, you and Peter have the same subject which was BioChemistry. This time, he followed you behind while you avoided his gaze. He waited until you took a seat along the second to the last row, and then taking his seat next to you.

     You look straight, facing the chalkboard displayed at the farther side of the room. Though you could not see Peter entirely, you could see his glowering look by the corner of your eye. “So his name his Jacob, huh, tell me more about him.”

     This was the reason why you could not update him, or any of your friends. You knew this would happen. They begin getting so nosy around your life before they even realize it.

     Surely, you did love your friends, much more the boy sitting next to you. They have been with you since freshman year, and you were more than grateful for one another’s support.

     “Peter, I don’t think that whatever I tell you would concern you,” you state clearly to avoid a dragging conversation. 

     “But we care about you, I care about you, Y/N.” He pouts, “The moment he tries to hurt you, you’ll run back to us and cry about it. I just want to skip seeing that part knowing I can’t see you heartbroken.”

     You furrow your eyebrows. His statement comes off as a bit acquisitive, but you knew that it was just his concern caught up in the moment. “That’s the problem. We all need to eventually fail or feel pain. It’s normal, especially for young adults like us, Peter!”

     There was a lot of things you wanted to say now. He trigged you somehow and now you’re at the edge of becoming a rambling mess. The worst part of it was that you were scared that you might say something that you would not be able to take back. 

     “Okay then I’ll–”

     “No look, I apologize for raising my voice.” You sighed to calm yourself down and compose your thoughts better. “You know I adore you so much, Peter. And I appreciate you looking out for me. But this can’t be forever, I’ll eventually have to learn how to deal with these kinds of stuff.”

     You got through barely half of your day yet you could already feel the emotional turn of having an argument with one of your best friends. 

     And eventually, your professor entered the room. Barely giving the two of you a moment to continue the heated conversation just seconds ago. The displeased look on Peter’s face remained as he looked in front, acknowledging that both of you took lectures seriously. He wanted to pick up this argument at another setting. 

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ

     "Congrats to your first ever anniversary!” Your friends applaud just as Jacob was seated next to you.

     “We’re so proud of you.”

     “You two look so happy together!”

     “Both of you look amazing, practically perfect for each other.”

     “Can’t believe it’s already been a year.”

     A year has passed, your group of friends remained even so with Peter. In addition, they learned to accept your boyfriend despite their doubts on online dating sites and applications.

     Just as they learned to trust your decisions more, you also learned way more about your significant other. Though despite your differences in fields, you learned to love him more than you thought you could.

     All of you have freshly graduated from college. Most of your friends did not have much planned so far; however, as your friendship with Peter remained, he grew to understand your feelings more and handled it sensitively.

     After your argument during your early days of dating Jacob, he eventually apologized for his behavior too. Though that was not the only time your friendship with him was put to a test. After the succeeding months, Peter still gave feint warnings and acted a bit overprotective when you tried telling him how you wanted to take your relationship to another level and get more serious.

     Nonetheless, you did not let any of your peers affect your view upon your relationship. Seeing that you were now at your first anniversary, you were happy that you followed what your heart and gut believed in.

     “To be honest we didn’t expect our Y/N to be getting into a relationship before we graduate, let alone celebrating her first anniversary!” Liz joked. “But in the end, just know that we love you and we’re here for you.”

     You smiled, looking at your friends who seemed to share the same feeling. After graduation, everything feels too good. It feels as if your life was falling into place.

     Not only have you gotten into a relationship with a kind guy. You also attained high ranks among the other students in your program, which led to companies offering you internships right off the bat. Rather than you worrying about where you’re heading to after college, you got the privilege to pick what you wanted to do.

     Surprisingly, you got an offer from the Stark Industries to become an internship on being their analytical chemist. It was the most tempting offer you got. Who would not accept an opportunity like that, right?

     When you learned that Peter also got an offer, you were more than happy for him. You knew he was one of the smartest persons in class and he deserved it just as you did.

     Both your contracts agreed that the internship starts a month from now which was just perfect, considering that you also have a few things to do prior to it.

     “Well, this girl also has a lot planned ahead,” you announce while catching the attention of your friends that were circled around you. “Me and Jacob were talking about moving in probably in his apartment by the end of the month.”

     Your intention was not to brag. Everyone could see how genuinely excited you were with such a big event. You were just so happy that despite what every one thought your relationship would end, you accepted whether the outcome would be good or bad. 

     Your friends cheered at you for taking a big step into your relationship. Looking back, you were so scared to accept the second date, but little by little you could not notice how much progress has been done.

     “I am so thankful for you guys.” You smiled and nodded at them before looking to your side where Jacob happily watched you interact with your friends. You slung your arm over his chest and planted a kiss directly at his lips.

     “We’re always here for you, Y/N,” Peter added along with a smile.

*

     Unbeknownst to you, just as your friends had left the celebration, you had big news yet to hear.

     As you drape your purse over one shoulder, your boyfriend assisted you out. He held one side of the door for you and walked after you. He held onto the side of your waist until both of you reached his car.

     Like the gentleman he is, he went over to the passenger side to open the car door for you before doing the same for himself at the driver’s side.

     When both of you were finally inside the car, Jacob had not started the car immediately. He paused with fingers gripping around the edges of the steering wheel.

     His sigh was just as evident, hearing it echo around the car which left chills across your skin as you looked at him. “You seem bothered. What’s wrong?”

     He avoided to look at you just as both of your hands reach for one of his. He lets you toy with his fingers yet his gaze still directs straight at the gas pedal. You lean further to catch a glimpse of him, moving one hand to cup his cheek. “Hey, what’s bugging you, babe? I’m here to listen.”

     “I’m sorry,” he starts off. The puzzled look on your face apparent as to what he’s trying to apologize for.

     “What do you mean?”

     “I just don’t think you deserve to stay with someone like me.”

     His self-loathing was not settling your confusion in any way at all. “I still don’t get it.” You did have an assumption in mind, but you chose not to jump into it as it might flare up on what’s happening now.

     “I think we need to break up,” Jacob swiftly drops.

     Slowly, you pull back and rest your back against the window. You bring a hand up to brush the little fringes in front of your face. You were trying to comprehend everything that’s happening. “I don’t understand. Why so sudden?”

     “Don’t get the wrong idea, Y/N–”

     “Then what should I get?” Your voice starts to crack as you hold back the tears. “I don’t understand anything at all! You seemed so happy a couple of hours ago.”

     “That’s why I’m apologizing,” he softly explains. “You don’t deserve me, I’ve been so horrible to you–”

     “You have been so nice to me. I don’t know where you’re getting all of this, at all!” Eventually, tears could not help but form around the corners of your eyes.

     Jacob sighs, finally looking at you. “You deserve so much more than this, I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

     Finally, the tears began to spill. You covered both your eyes with your palms, trying to both hide and wipe them away. “Y-you can’t just break up with me after celebrating our first anniversary.”

     “I’m sorry–”      “Stop saying that,” you sniffed. You did not know what annoyed you more, hearing him apologize like a broken record or hearing him imply the ‘its not you, it’s me and you deserve more’ bullshit. “You’re too cruel.”

     “I’ll drive you to your house,” he offers. The look on his face seemed very guilty. You did not know what was behind these sudden turn of events, but either way you were heartbroken for how

     “No,” you stated. “Uhm, I have a friend who lives nearby. You can drop me off there.”

     “Okay.”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ

     “That’s pretty much my night in a nutshell,” you sighed as Peter entered his room with a blanket and some clothes in hand.

     Your legs were cross-seated over his bed as your hid your face with your hands. Peter frowned as he walked over to the edge of his bed where you were positioned. “I just don’t understand why he dumped me all of a sudden, might I add, dumped me on our first anniversary!”

     You felt a hand over your back, rubbing slow and comforting strokes as you continued to cry. “Just as I thought I was getting to know him better.”

     It was emotionally crushing.

     “I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

     “Well.” You look up at him despite knowing your nose eyes eyelids became swollen, “You can finally tell me that you told me so.”

     “That doesn’t matter right now.” His hands move to the ends of your hair, toying with the strands before turning half of his body aside. He reaches for a mug that situated on top of his nightstand, “Here. I brought you a cup of tea.”

     “Thanks, but I’m not really thirsty–”

     “Drink,” he calmly says. “You need to get hydrated after crying.”

     You could not argue with that. You’ve definitely lost a lot of water in your body after hours of just crying, without drinking anything. “You know me so well.” you told him and added, “I should’ve just listened to you when you warned me about strangers online.”

     “I guess I owe you an apology.”

     Peter chuckled at your statement and watched you as your lips slowly sipped at the heated tea he had just prepared. “No need to be sorry about anything now, I’m just glad you’re safe. He didn’t hurt you, did he?”

     “Don’t worry he didn’t physically touch me,” you assure as he nods.

     The adorable boy in front of you slyly looked down as he called for your name. “Y/N? Can I ask you a question?”

     “Of course, Peter.” 

     “Why’d you choose to stop by my place amongst our other friends.” 

     You finally finish the entire drink he had prepared. Before you could answer him, you extended your arm in order to set the fragile mug back on top of his bed side drawer.

     “Well for one, I still know where your place was, and it was closest from the restaurant,” you answered. “And conveniently enough, you were the first person I could think of after Jacob hurt my feelings.”

     “I could vividly remember your warnings just as I realized he was breaking up with me already. I didn’t know whether to feel sad or ashamed. What I do know was that you knew me too well, even before I became fully aware of it.”

     He smiled at your answer, and you gave the same look at him. “Well I’m glad you thought of me.” His hands reach over to yours and places them on top, feeling the warmth of his body over yours. “I would never want to hurt you, nor let you feel the pain Jacob gave you.”

     “You’re too sweet.” You smile.

     Your hands rubbed circles around your eyes first. Then you tried to lean in front, opening your arms wide signaling for a hug. Peter did not hesitate to hug you back, enveloping his arms while both of you rest your chins on top of each other’s shoulders.

     From this angle, you could strongly scent his cologne. However, that was not the only thing you could observe.

     As each second passes, you were not sure if you were the only one who could notice how hot the room was getting. Either that or that your skin was starting to burn up. “Peter?”

     “Don’t you think it’s getting hot–”

     As you were just about to react, you felt a pair of lips against yours. Peter had pulled back, and even when you could have realized it, he was pinning you down as your back presses against his bed.

     And as much as this was entirely contradicting your morals, you did not feel an ounce of guilt as one of your best friends continued to leave kisses down your neck. You were not entirely sure why your mind was doubting this, but your body was suddenly, badly craving for touch – and Peter was conveniently doing you the favor.

     “Don’t I think it’s getting what?” Peter sits up and teases just as he pulls his shirt over his shoulders.

     “Nothing,” you groan. “But I don’t think this is a good idea–”

     He shushes you, “Relax. Let me take care of you, yeah?

     His hands gently released heir grip around your wrists. He was confident enough that you wouldn’t fight back after finishing the drink he exclusively brewed for you.

     Your state of mind was perfectly right where he expected it to be. Just conscious enough to feel him against you, but incapable of thinking rationally. 

     He just hated how smart you were when it came to his friends and school; however, just as he expects, you were not as quick-witted when it came to relationships. 

     And hiring Jacob was definitely one of his greatest achievements so far. He lost a part of his savings along the way, but nothing could ever become as valuable as you. Now that you were in his room, let alone under his touch, he had the upper hand.

     Peter was not letting you go that easy afterwards.

     For now, he continues to leave kisses under your jaw while your hands lazily combs through the locks of his hair. He proudly hums against your skin after leaving gentle nibbles that started to leave evident love marks.

     One of his hands creep under your shirt, reaching to unhook your bra. As he successfully does, he moves to adjust your shirt over your breasts. He gets a good view of them even without having to pull it over your head, smirking to himself as this has been a fantasy he has been dreading for.

     “Fuck you’re even more beautiful than I imagined,” he murmurs. With one hand, he gently squeezes around one of your breasts just as he descends at your body.

     “Peter,” your moan comes from above his head just as he was ready to spread your legs.

     “Yeah, babe?”

     “C-condom,” you mumbled with eyelids partially open.

     He chuckled as a response, “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it.”

     Peter tried to test the waters first to make sure he was completely in control of this situation. He drags the tip of his fingers across your stomach, further narrowing the path down as it reached at the entrance of your cunt. 

     He could instantly sense how wet you have become throughout his teasing. Both his middle and ring finger grew damper as he inserted them inch by inch, slowly seeing them reappear. 

     The warmth radiating around your walls excites him more, assuming how good you would be while his cock was wrapped around it. He instinctively curls his fingers out of excitement, forgetting that he was trying to handle you gently.

     You react by tightening around it, along with a whine. 

     “Sorry, babe.”

     Moreover, he continues it up until he felt his erection grow harden than before. He made sure he was completely hard before finally dropping both your pants down, attending to yours first until you were completely naked – excluding the shirt he did not haul over your head.

     Next was his turn. He undid his shorts and threw them away ever so quickly. Then rushed to welcome himself between the space of your legs. “You ready for me, babe?” He did not leave a choice despite asking that either way. You remained helpless under him.

     “Hmm,” was your only response.

     Peter did not hesitate as he glides into you. He groans at your heat, grasping that you feel better now compared to when he was using his fingers. “Oh shit,” he groans while speeding up the pace of his thrusts, “you feel so good.”

     “That’s it, holy fuck.” He was surprised at how responsive your body was still. Despite drugging you to the extent of being mentally incapable, your body was contracting all over him as if it was enjoying itself. 

     He continued to praise your body even if you could not understand what he was saying. The entire event revolved around him fucking you and leaving sweet remarks as if he was your boyfriend – and not, at all, a friend who laced your drink and made you believe you were somewhere safe.

     Though Peter did say he was going to care for you. Ironically, it was obvious that all he can think about now is chasing his orgasm and nutting inside you. After all, it was one of his dark and twisted fantasies – to have full control over you, at least.

     There were few moans coming from you, but the happy noises being created by Peter overpowers. With all of this, sexual, tension he finally got to release, it was expected that he was going to cum sooner.

     “Fuck,” and other swears came from him. “Didn’t expect to cum so soon.”

     As he did not care about your take on this, he also did not give a fuck when he was planning to cum inside you. Since he purposely avoided to wear any kind of protection, let alone learn if you were in any kind of birth control, anyone in their right mind would know what could happen the morning after.

     Willfully, he made sure to go deeper inside you until he could feel the tip of his cock twitch as a sign that he was going to cum. “Gonna fill you up with my cum, yeah,” he grunts as if you were going to reply. “And you’re gonna take it like the good girl you are.”

     Even so, when Peter finally felt his release, he took a good look at you beneath. You seemed hot and bothered, but not as him. Your chest was heaving all the while he could feel the speed of the beating of his heart.

     When he steadily pulls out, the awaited moment of his deep, dark fantasies finally arise. He could clearly see his own cum beautifully spilling out of your cunt like a cream pie. He could almost feel himself get turned on just at the sigh of it, but he considered that round two’s with you would be saved for next time.

     “Peter?”      “Hmm?”

     “I still feel hot,” you purr. 

     Peter extends his arm to gently place the back of his hand over your forehead, feeling how feverish your body still was. There were few hints of sweat streaming from your forehead. “Let me take care of you, I’ll just run you a bath, okay?”

     You childishly smile and agree with him, “O-okay.” He pulls back to be able to properly stand and proceeds to head to his shower with a huge smile from his face.

     You were his.

[tenglows]

love is all we’ve got | killian jones

part two | read the story on wattpad here

Originally, Emma, Mary Margaret, David, Regina, Gold, Hook and Esme had gone to Neverland to rescue Henry. Having finally succeeded, the group tried to decide what they were going to do now: they were stuck in the island, and there was a demon on the loose - a demon that fed on love, of all things.

“We need to trap the demon somewhere” Regina suggested.

After Pan had released the demon, the usually harmonious group came face to face with everyone’s darkest, and unloving sides. Eventually, they had to do something, before they ended up killing each other.

“Great, we still have Pandora's box so let’s trap it in there. Hand it over, Gold”

“Not so fast, Emma. The demon has grown considerably, it’s stronger than ever. I'm afraid a box, or anything of the sort, won’t do. You see, it has been feeding on love, so the only way to weaken it would be to put it in a vessel that can tolerate its power” Regina paused. “A human body”

Silence filled the cave. Everyone looked at each other, trying to come out with another plan. They couldn’t simply put one of them in danger, risking being eaten up by a demon. There had to be another way. Besides, who could it be?

“Well, we certainly aren’t the best people for this” Henry tried to joke.

“Let's put the demon in Hook” said David, glaring at the man. “It’s not like that pirate has much love in him, so what’s the difference?”

“I’m sorry, mate. I have my great love for Milah, and I’m not letting anyone take that away from me”

“What about Rumple? He doesn’t even love the woman he made a vow to” Regina raised an eyebrow and Rumpelstiltskin glared at her, preparing to talk back.

“It won't work” Esme raised her voice. “Rumple may not love Belle properly, but he loves his power, the dagger, being the Dark One. Even if it’s not love for a human, his love will end up being his undoing”

“Bloody hell. Does anyone have a better idea?”

“I do” Esme spoke again. “You’re going to trap the demon in me”

The statement clearly baffled everyone, all eyes fearfully fixed on Esme.

“What?”

“Unlike all of you, I've never felt love. I don't know what it’s like, how it feels. I've never loved nor been loved. Putting the demon in me is the safest option, hell, it may be the only we’ve got”

“But even if you don’t have love for people, don’t you, like Rumple, love other stuff?” Snow asked, trying to find something to save Esme, everyone having doubts about using their friend as a vessel for a deadly demon.

“I have my pride, yes, and I have my strength. But no, never love”

“It would be temporary” Emma remarked.

“Yes, you would only be keeping it under control until we find out a way to destroy it” Regina helped Emma, trying to make the situation a little bit more convincing to Esme, but they didn’t even need to try, she had already made up her mind.

“It's fine, honestly. It’ll be the same to me”

Regina and Emma looked at each other one last time, doubt coloring their faces. They smiled at Esme, a smile that showed how grateful they were, but also how scared. Esme smiled back at them, being pretty at ease herself. She didn’t have fear, because she had nothing to lose.

—-

After Regina and Emma successfully trapped the demon inside Esme, they left the Skull Rock, and made their way into the jungle.

Everyone kept asking Esme how she felt, and they were sure she was making light of it: but she genuinely didn’t feel anything at all. Sure, she felt the blow when a supernatural, evil demon was filling up her body, but after that, she was the same woman.

“Esme!” someone shouted from behind her, catching her attention.

“Killian” she stopped and smiled, waiting for him to get to her side.

“How are you feeling?”

“Seriously, you don’t have to keep asking me that, any of you. I feel exactly the same way as I always do”

“Alright, just checking” they chuckled.

Killian stared intently at her, as if trying to find any sign of the demon in the sweet features of the woman. He looked down, and then back at Esme, and she could sense he wanted to add something else.

“Look, I just wanted to say you were really brave, doing that for all of us. Not anyone would do something like that. And I'm sorry that you never felt love. I’m sure it won’t stay like that forever”

Esme wanted to roll her eyes at the mention of the L word, she couldn’t keep count of the times the heroes told her she would find true love eventually. She didn’t yearn for love, she was pretty sure she didn’t even need it. Never had and never would. And she was about to say all those things to Killian, but the way he smiled at her stopped her. He was smiling in a way that didn’t display any signs of pity or compassion. He looked hopeful, like he truly believed what he said. And for the first time, even if for a brief second, Esme believed too.

“Thank you, Killian”

“And let me know how you’re feeling, okay? I know you’re strong, but just in case, we still don’t know everything about this demon”

She nodded, and with a last smile and a friendly squeeze on her shoulder, Killian walked away. Esme couldn’t look away from his back, walking ahead of her. The feeling of his touch lingered in the air, and not even Neverland’s sultry wind managed to make it fade away. Suddenly, Talia felt a sharp pang on her chest. She was quick to unbutton her shirt to make sure she hadn’t accidentally grazed anything, especially something laced with Dreamsahde. But after looking thoroughly, she couldn’t find any visible mark on her chest at all.

~•~

continue reading on wattpad!! @/venuslilies_

[lizziethebibrid]

Requested by @thebadassgaysquad

ao3 link here

prompts list here

38. If you move from that spot, so help me, I will tie you down.

Jed was the last one to run into the school, closing the door behind them. It felt like they were getting in these kinds of situations more and more lately and every monster only seemed to be crazier than the last.

The squad was at it and really, Jed had all the faith that they could figure it out, they always did, but they currently had nothing and that was admittedly not great. They had trapped the monster to school grounds, although it was probably looking for a way in, since the very thing - or well, person - he was looking for was on the other side of the door.

“Look, we both know what it wants. What they all want,” Ben tried to reason with him. “If you just let me go out there-”

“Dude, no! We’ve already discussed this too many times,” Jed insisted. They could fix this, he knew they could. Some of them were looking through books, witches were brewing potions and others were patrolling different areas around the school, trying to catch the monster or at least make sure it didn’t come near the rest of the students.

“Jed, that thing is here for me. You know it, I know it, the whole school is aware. Monsters will keep coming to kill me unless I leave,” Ben stated. “The best I can do since I’m still here, is make this less dangerous for everyone!”

“Cleo made a bracelet once, she can tell the other witches how to make it again,” Jed said. “This is just a temporary evil. You can’t seriously tell me you’re cool with dying all the time!”

“It’s really not that big of a deal,” Ben said, like he was talking about a minor inconvenience and not an endless loop of dying and coming back to life.

Jed stared back at him dumbfounded, not exactly sure what to say because his first instinct would probably be to start yelling and they didn’t need that right now. Before he had time to act in any way though, something hit against the front door, thankfully not breaking it, but Jed didn’t really think it would hold for long.

“Okay, we should probably get away from that,” he said, grabbing Ben’s wrist to ensure he actually did follow because he wasn’t exactly certain he would right now.

“Wait, Jed, wait.” True to Jed’s worries, Ben tried to stop them as they climbed up the stairs. Part of Jed was thankful because he knew Ben had the physical strength to keep them both back if he wanted to. He was at least giving Jed a choice here. “This thing is after me. It’s gonna keep trying to get to me. It doesn’t matter how much distance we put between us.”

“What’s the alternative?” Jed asked. “And don’t say die,” he hurried to add when Ben opened his mouth.

“If you’re not letting me get out there, you should at least get away from me,” he said. “Keep yourself safe.”

“I’m not leaving you alone, you’re gonna run out there without supervision!” Jed retorted, making Ben actually smile for a change. It wasn’t exactly a heartfelt moment as far as Jed was concerned, but he’d take anything if it was enough to actually make him stay put.

“I know you care. I appreciate that. But the matter still stands,” Ben said softly. “I am a danger to everyone here. We can’t keep pretending this is not an issue.”

“You have any idea how many things and people we’ve kept here even though they’d been a danger to the whole school?” Jed said. “We used to get a new Malivore monster each week. We had a crazy cult of humans try to kill us because of what we were. A friend of ours was in a really dark place a while ago and was actively trying to kill us all, but we didn’t throw her out! This is not how it works here.”

Ben didn’t say anything, only stared back at him, his eyes glancing over his face. Jed tried to keep himself in the moment and the fact that there was a very present danger after them right now and not that he was standing inches away from his… crush? They hadn’t really sorted everything out.

He really thought he’d actually succeeded in changing his mind, making him see that they wouldn’t just throw him to the monsters - he wouldn’t just throw him to the monsters.

“I know you think you’re doing the right thing here, but I’ve done this countless times. I’ve watched people I cared about die and I’m not going to sit here until it happens again,” his words hit Jed across the face. Why couldn’t he just get it?

Ben tried to move past him, about to go back downstairs and probably throw himself at the monster so this whole attack would be over. But Jed would be damned if he just let him go through with it.

He caught his arm, pulling him back in. Ben stumbled a bit, falling right into him, Jed crushing their lips together. Ben seemed startled for a second, much like the first time Jed had actually had the courage to kiss him like there was no tomorrow, but he was also quick to kiss him back.

And this time Jed actually let himself get lost in the feeling. He let himself forget that there was a monster banging at the door downstairs who wanted to kill Ben and maybe follow up with a student or two. Because for these next few seconds it was just the two of them and all Jed really wanted to show him was that he cared about him. He cared so fucking much and he wasn’t about to just let him go sacrifice himself.

He was the first one to pull back, but still remained close, his gaze locked with Ben’s. He still seemed a bit caught up in the moment and wasn’t threatening to leave which was definitely a plus.

“Was that enough for you to stay put?” Jed whispered.

“You really don’t want me to go,” was all Ben said.

Jed just rolled his eyes. “What gave it away?” he asked, making him chuckle. “We’ve beaten a lot of monsters, we'll beat this one too. The witches will give you a new anti-curse bracelet and you’ll go back to normal. Just- Please don’t go out there. Not without a solid plan.”

Ben sighed a little, letting his forehead fall against Jed’s. “Okay,” he eventually said.

“Okay?” Jed said, slightly surprised now that he was actually agreeing with him.

“Okay,” Ben repeated, leaning in to kiss him again, slower this time.

“If you move from that spot, so help me, I will tie you down,” Jed said once they’d pulled back again.

Ben laughed, making something ease in Jed’s chest. “Don’t worry,” he said. “I’ll stay.”

[warrioreowynofrohan]

Today in Tolkien - October 21-23

During these days, Frodo is unconscious in Rivendell as Elrond labours to heal his wound from the Morgul-blade. As Gandalf tells Frodo after he wakes:

“Elrond has cured you: he has tended you for days, ever since you were brought in…foyr nights and three days, to be exact…We have been terribly anxious, and Sam has hardly left your side, day or night, except to run messages. [Bilbo was also there; he later tells Frodo, ‘I have sat by your side with Sam each day.’] Elrond is a master of healing, but the weapons of our Enemy are deadly. To tell you the truth, I had very little hope; for I suspected that there was some fragment of the blade still in the closed wound. But it could not be found until last night [the night between the 23rd and 24th]. Then Elrond removed a splinter. It was deeply buried, and it was working inwards.”

“What would they have done to me?” asked Frodo? “What were the Riders trying to do?”

“They tried to pierce your heart with a Morgul-knife which remains in the wound. If they had succeeded, you would have become like are, only weaker and under their command. You would have become a wraith under the dominion of the Dark Lord; and he would have tormented you for trying to keep his Ring, if any greater torment were possible than being robbed of it and seeing it on his hand.

…Fortune or fate have helped you, not to mention courage. For your heart was not touched, and only your shoulder was pierced; and that was because you resisted to the last. Bit it was a terribly narrow shave, so to speak.”

Just think what it must have been like to be Gandalf during these days! The hobbits know that Frodo is seriously injured, and would be worried, certainly, but they don’t know clearly what the danger is. Strider is a relatively new acquaintance. But Gandalf has been a friend of the Bagginises for decades, he knows exactly how dire the danger is, and as he admits here, he ‘had very little hope.’ He thought that Frodo would become a wraith, and he must have thought that it was in part his fault, or at least his responsibility. It happened because he believed Saruman, be ause he was captured and couldn’t get there on time, because he wasn’t able to get word to Frodo to set out sooner - and, in the longer term, because he took 17 years after Bilbo’s Party to be sure of the Ring’s identity, and in the years before Bilbo’s party believed Saruman’s claim that the Ring had gone down Anduin to the Sea. Quite possibly no one since Celebrimbor has been so horrified by the consequences of trust misplaced.

The other thing I take from this is the nature of Elven-magic (and, to some degree, of evil magic as well). This healing , a few earlier mentions with Glorfindel, and Galadriel in Lothlórien are about all the details we are shown of the abilities of elves of the First Age and how they work; Aragorn’s healing abilities, though lesser, likely have similar roots. And so far as we can see, they appear to work primarily through will, and to an extent through song (when Aragorn finds the hilt of the Morgul-knife, he ‘sings over it a slow song in a strange tongue’) and touch (when Glorfindel touches Frodo’s shoulder, it becomes warmer and the pain and shadows recede). And they don’t seem to have a lot to do with what we would consider conventional methods of medicine - Frodo had a splinter of the Morgul-knife in his wound, and Elrond removed it, but there’s no indication of surgery: he doesn’t have stitches or anything, and his arm heals very quickly (in less than a day) after the splinter is removed, whereas healing from surgery takes time. So the identification and removal of the splinter must have happened in a manner more concordant with the other types of elven-powers we’ve seen, to identify the spliter and draw it out without cutting open the shoulder. This should probably inform our understanding of the kind of healing that occurs in the First Age (for example, of Maedhros after Thangorodrim, and of Beren by Lúthien; the poetic Leithian described Lúthien as healing Beren through song, after Beren jumps in front of Curufin’s arrow to save her).

The thing we learn about evil magic from this is that the exertion of will also matters greatly in response to it; the fact that Frodo ‘resisted to the last’ the influence and commands of the Ringwraiths was a major factor in why he was able to keep the Morgul-blade from his heart for long enough to be healed.

[sunshinekindof]

Tough day

The last few weeks at work have been tough for Billy. New contracts, important clients, regular meetings. And, it seemed, every little thing demanded Billy's attention, so he was tense lately. You managed to see each other, but these were rare, short moments. You were not happy about this, but you understood that now Billy needs your support, although he will never admit it. He was not used to sharing his experiences, because he considered it a manifestation of weakness, but you had a different opinion about this.

Billy tried to spend every free minute with you, but now he rarely succeeded. When you were around, he felt calm, as if at home. At least that was how he imagined the house. The place where he is expected, loved and always supported. Billy knew that he could trust you, but he believed that he should protect you, even from the whole world, if necessary, because he cherished you. Therefore, he did not tell you about his problems, and you have not yet dared to insist.

Having managed to complete all the plans in the morning, you decided to visit Billy, at least for a couple of minutes. You went to his favorite cafe and bought him an apple pie. You knew that food like that wasn’t suitable for lunch, but Billy loves apple pie, and you wanted to please him. Billy rarely got mad at you unless you seriously screw up. And you hoped that your presence at his work would not give him problems today.

You walked into the Anvil building and went straight to Billy's office. Entering the room, you saw Jessica, Billy's secretary. You weren't intimately familiar, but she knew who you were.

“Hi Jess,” you said with a smile. She looked tired and the table was littered with papers. She looked up at you with tired eyes and smiled faintly.

- Hey! How do you? Sorry, but Billy is at the meeting ... - then you both heard your boyfriend's angry voice coming from the next room. From what you heard, it became clear that one of his subordinates made a serious mistake.

Then the door of the meeting room was thrown open, Billy came out and began to address Jessica in a loud voice. Billy looked angry.

- Jessica, where are papers on Mr. Stevens' ?!

You both jumped at the harsh sound. As soon as Billy's eyes rested on you, surprise flashed across his face.

- Y / N, what are you doing here? Something happened?

You cleared your throat and said:

- Sorry to distract you. I would like to talk to you. Will you take a few minutes for me?

Anxiety flashed in his gaze, and he examined you from head to toe before answering.

“Jessica, take the papers on Mr. Stevens's to the meeting room and tell them I'll be back soon. And tell them to re-read the documents before my arrival and understand what the hell they are talking about.

Jess nodded and quickly ran to her desk for the papers.

“Come to my office,” Billy told you, and you followed him.

As soon as you entered his office, Billy closed the door and turned sharply to you.

- So what happened? Are you okay? I didn’t receive any calls or messages from you today, and you didn’t say that you would come to me… - while he was talking, you hugged Billy tightly and pulled him to you. You wanted to take away all his stress, all his stress. Billy was like a taut string about to break.

- Do not be mad at me, please, I did not want to disturb you - you kissed him on the chin - I know that you are now having a difficult period at work and everyone needs your attention, but I was worried about you, so I just wanted to visit you and make sure you're okay.

- Are you worried about me? Billy said quietly, and he hugged you back.

You frowned and said:

“Of course I was worried about you. How could it be otherwise? I hope I didn't bother you too much, but you look like you need a break.

Billy pulled back slightly, looked into your eyes and said:

- How did I deserve you?

You smiled back and said:

- You probably did something very good in your past life.

Billy laughed softly and pressed his lips to yours. You pressed closer to him, and you involuntarily escaped a groan of pleasure.

“And that's not all…” you muttered, “I'm sure you haven't eaten anything, and as far as I know, sugar helps to think better, so…,” you took a pie out of your bag and handed it to him.

“Is that for me?” Billy took the cake from your hands and looked at you with disbelief, as if you decided to make fun of him.

- Of course, silly, who else? - you laughed, - besides, he is very sweet. You'll like it.

Billy looked at you and his eyes flashed with dangerous fire.

- I know another sweet thing that I want to try.

“Billy!” You exclaimed, but at the thought of his tongue between your legs your body was on fire.

He laughed and walked to his table

“Will you keep me company?” He asked, taking a pie out of the box and handing you one piece.

“Don't you need to go back to the meeting?” You asked, puzzled.

“I’m the boss,” Billy said with a smile, taking a bite of the pie, “besides, I need a break for a few minutes, otherwise I’ll kill them all. They need to be more responsible about their work or they will quickly lose it. I need professionals, not amateurs.

While Billy was eating, you got an idea. You didn’t think about it for a long time, fearing that you would get cold feet and change your mind, but you always wanted to do it.

- You're too tense, dear, - you said, went to the door and closed the door on the lock. Then you slowly approached Billy, who was sitting on the couch and looked at you attentively, - if you want, I can help you ..., - you said quietly and knelt down in front of him.

Billy's face was filled with excitement, but he seemed to be trying to control himself.

Then you ran your palm over his crotch and squeezed his cock through his pants.

Billy sighed sharply and said:

- Baby, you shouldn't ...

“I know,” you cut him off, “but this is what I have been thinking about for a long time and ... you don’t want me to ?,” you asked quietly and looked uncertainly into his eyes. You weren’t experienced in sex too much, but with Billy, you became more confident. Sometimes it just seemed to you that you weren't enough for him, that he could find someone better. But as soon as such thoughts appeared in your head, Billy immediately convinced you otherwise.

- God, of course, I want this, - he said confidently, took your face in his hands and leaned towards you, - I just want you to be sure that you want it.

You smiled and kissed him.

“I’m sure,” you smiled, “besides, you and I don’t want you to explode from the tension, right?” You winked at Billy and began to unbutton his pants.

- I can control myself very w ... - he began, but as soon as you pulled his cock out of your pants and ran your tongue over the head of the cock, his hips involuntarily twitched, and you laughed softly.

“You were saying ...,” you said, looking at Billy again. His eyes burned with fire, his lips are compressed, his breathing quickened.

You wanted to quickly relieve Billy's tension, so you drew your tongue along the entire length of the penis several times, then took it in your mouth and began to suck.

“My good girl,” Billy muttered and moaned softly.

Billy put his hand on your head, grabbing your hair and began to guide you. Billy's moans intensified and you felt his cock throbbing in your mouth.

“Baby,” Billy said in a low voice, “if you don’t want me to ...

You looked up at him, momentarily looked up from his cock and said

- Cum in my mouth, Billy. I want to taste everything of you

You again took his cock in your mouth and continued to suck, not taking your eyes off Billy's eyes.

In a moment, you felt Billy come with a groan in your mouth. His head is thrown back, his eyes are closed. You licked his cock clean, then zipped up his pants and sat on the couch next to Billy. Now he was relaxed and you were happy.

“Are you feeling better?” You asked him. Billy pulled you close and kissed you passionately on the lips.

- You can not even imagine.

- I am glad, - you giggled,- Well, I think I'll go… - you said. You wanted to get up and walk to the door so Billy could get back to his work, but he wouldn't let you and pulled you closer to him.

“Stay with me for a few more minutes,” he muttered into your hair.

You sat there for a while, after which Billy still had to return to his duties. But he promised you that he will come home early today and this time you will moan.