#not taking it next semester Or the semester after :( have to wait until Next winter semester

[ayyy-pee]

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 3: 𝑳𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝑮𝒐𝒆𝒔 𝑶𝒏

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Pairing: Choso x f! Reader

Summary: Things take a turn.

Chapter Warnings: Angst...

WC: 6.6k

Choso Art By:NC9__

**While not all chapters contain adult content, the themes of this story are targeted towards adults, so minors DNI please.

No one warned you just how difficult university would be.

Your first semester of college has been kicking your ass in all honesty. Between your art projects, extracurriculars and trying to maintain some semblance of a social life, you’re completely burnt out. It was quite the adjustment from high school where teachers stayed on you about your school work and assignments. You'd learned very quickly that now, one was responsible for you but you.

At 19, it was a true test of your maturity. And you were failing that test quite miserably.

“I have one last project due and then I’ll finally be able to breathe. This professor has been up my ass all semester. I can’t wait for winter break and to be done with his class.” You set your bags down on your desk before you adjust your cell phone between your cheek and shoulder. “Sorry to rant. How are you all doing?”

A deep voice rumbles on the other end of the line with a laugh that makes your cheeks warm every time you hear it.

“Hey, it’s no problem. I’m just happy to hear from you. At least you’re letting me know what to realistically expect when I start school next year.” You hear shifting on the other side and you know he’s getting comfortable, probably in bed. “Yuji’s good. He’s also getting ready for winter break so he’ll be home most of the time. Eso’s been struggling with algebra, but Kechizu is surprisingly good at it. He’s been helping him study and–”

You listen closely, hanging on every word falling from your friend’s lips as he catches you up on his brother’s lives. It’s been a few months since you’ve spoken to Choso over the phone. While you’d keep in touch after the summer months until you were back on the beach, you’ve both been busy with your new normal. You haven’t seen Choso either, your first year of college being surprisingly more difficult than you’d expected so you opted for summer classes in hopes to maintain your GPA instead of taking your annual trip with your parents.

It was the first time since you were 9 that you hadn’t gone back to the beach. Your parents reluctantly returned without you your first summer in university, only after you had pushed them to enjoy a romantic vacation together for once. You remember the pictures you’d received from your mother the night they got into town. She was quick to spam you with pictures of your little pink haired friend who had grown even taller since the last time you’d seen him. She’d also sent a photo of all four of the brothers sitting at your dinner table, just as they always did on your first night in town since you were all kids.

It was reminiscent of all the summers you’d spent together growing up, except there was a noticeable gap where you’d usually be sitting, right between Choso and Yuji. As your eyes roamed over every detail, every way the boys had grown and changed, you couldn’t help the pang of disappointment you felt from missing out on this. You wanted to see them, hug them, be with them and enjoy your summer together. But you couldn’t. And it hurt more than you wanted to admit.

It hurt that you wouldn’t spend days and nights at the beach. You wouldn’t be taking Yuji all over the town with you and spoiling him rotten like you always have. You wouldn’t be climbing out of your bedroom window to sneak out to parties. You wouldn’t be working the summer at Panda’s, closing shop and sitting at the shoreline to watch the sunsets with Choso.

Choso…

Your eyes were locked on the tall figure in the photo and you found yourself pinching your thumb and index finger together, pressing them to your phone screen before expanding and zooming in on the picture. He was wearing his signature tiny smile that he reserved only for you and your family. Those same pigtails that have sat atop his head since he was 10 years old were still there, but that baby face was long gone. He was all chiseled jawline and sharp cheekbones now, even more handsome than when you saw him last summer, if possible, and your heart fluttered at the thought. 

You stared at those dark eyes that had peered into yours that cool summer night last year as he leaned closer, those soft lips that pressed against your mouth as you exchanged your first kisses with each other. Those lips…they consumed your thoughts. Those lips that uttered those three words that still kept you up at night as they echoed through your mind:

“Just one more.”

Heat rushed to your cheeks, to the tips of your ears and you could hear the blood rushing through your body as the memories played clearly through your mind.

The slight tilt of Choso’s head as he deepened the kiss just barely. The way you gasped when his tongue gently ran along the seam of your lip. How he sighed, low and deep when he heard the little sounds you were making and all because of him.

Neither you nor Choso have spoken about your first kiss since it happened. He’d walked you home from the beach that night, hugged you tight one last time and then you spent the remainder of the night clutching at your chest, desperately willing your heart to calm down.

“You still there?” Choso’s voice pulls you from your trip down memory lane and you clear your throat to buy yourself time to gather your thoughts.

“Yeah, sorry. I’m just…I’m sad. I’m glad everyone’s doing well, but I almost feel like I missed a part of that because I didn’t go back to the beach for the summer.” You fall back onto your bed with a groan. “I miss you.”

The words fall from your lips easily, though your eyes widen when you realize what you’ve said. While you had never been one to sugarcoat your words with Choso, you couldn’t help but feel as though those simple words held more weight since the kiss.

Choso doesn’t seem to be having the same thoughts, because he quickly replies with an, “I miss you, too.”

And just like that, the conversation picks right back up.

It’s easy with Choso. It’s always easy. You sometimes forget just how easy it is.

- - - - - - - -

That breather you thought you’d be getting for winter break? Yeah, that didn’t happen.

Could it be because your first year of college hadn’t gone according to plan which resulted in you ending the year with a lower than desired grade point average? Who could say? That wasn’t important anyway. The important thing was that you’d opted to take Winter classes as well. Because your life wasn’t already hell Monday through Friday during the spring and fall semesters. Not to mention the summer classes you’d taken earlier in the year that had kept you from being able to tag along on your annual beach trip.

College was turning out to be more of a drag than anything. Luckily, you had made plenty of friends here that made the fact you were missing out on these things a lot more bearable.

It was during the Winter semester that you’d met Iori Utahime, a beautiful young woman with a curious scar across her face that somehow only added to her stunning looks. The two of you had quickly hit it off, both wanting to take your studies seriously and needing someone to hold the other accountable for reaching their goal. Utahime wanted to pursue a career in music and while your majors differed, you were still artists just the same. 

Your similarities didn’t end there either. You shared core classes and unfortunately also shared struggling GPAs, which only brought you closer to each other. So when you found yourselves paired up for a project for one of your Winter courses, you soon found yourselves together more often than not.

And she’d introduced you to more friends as time went on.

There was Satoru. Satoru was goofy. That was the best way to describe him. He never took anything seriously, because everything was easy for him. Seriously. He was a genius who never needed to study because he just knew he’d ace his exams. Because of this, he was all about enjoying the college experience.

You could catch Satoru at every party, the center of attention everywhere he went. He was Mr. Popular. There was no one on campus who did not know who Satoru Gojo was. Almost every student on campus either wanted him or wanted to be him. And although you didn't share the same desires as them, you could see the appeal. 

Satoru was tall. Way too tall. And had the strangest hair color you’d ever seen– stark white and so messy. He claimed it was natural, though you had your doubts. In a way, his hair reminded you oddly of Choso, if only because you could only think about how it was the total opposite of your friends. And his eyes…they also reminded you of Choso. Because they were as blue as the ocean you’d sat in front of many times with him. As blue as the waters that had brought you to Choso in the first place. 

But that was where the similarities ended. Satoru was carefree, going with the flow whenever he could. He never planned for anything, he just let things happen. And he bugged Utahime in a way you couldn’t understand. It’s not really like he had to do much in the first place to get under her skin. All he needed to do was breathe within the same vicinity as Utahime and she was going ballistic. And Satoru seemed to love that.

There was Suguru, Satoru’s best friend. Or more? You could never quite tell with those two. He also reminded you of Choso in a way. Not physically, but general demeanor. Suguru was quieter, more observant than Satoru. He was thoughtful and kind, not abrasive at all; soft spoken in a way that made you feel as though he truly cared for you. And you liked that about him.

When out, you’d often find yourself next to Suguru. His presence was warm and comforting, almost familiar. You felt safe and protected with him and you knew that if Suguru was with you, you could just count on him to look out for you. You’d grown close fairly quickly and had established a friendship outside of your immediate friend group. You spent a lot of time together, but there was never any connection between you two aside from friendship.

And then there was the last of your group – Shoko. Clearly there was something going on between her and Utahime. But if you asked either of them, they'd quickly deny it. None of you were dumb, even with your low GPAs. The stolen glances, the touches they thought you all didn’t notice, the way one always ended up leaving exactly three minutes before the other decided to call it a night.

You found it very amusing, the way they thought none of you knew what was going on.

Their situation made you think more about Choso and how he –

Wait.

Why were you thinking about Choso so much? Why did everything suddenly remind you of him? You couldn’t think about any of your new friends without comparing them to Choso. Even after all this time.

After your last summer vacation, Choso had spent a good amount of time on your mind. But it’s been almost two years now. A second summer vacation was coming up and you were once again abandoning plans to go to the beach with your family and opting to take more summer courses to boost your GPA.

And it wasn’t as though you’d spoken to Choso much, either. Between your studies and his own life happenings, there wasn’t much time to chat. You carve out time when you can and appreciate the usual nightcap you both share every so often. But you're busy with your studies and Choso…well…

When your second year of college began, that was also when Choso had broken the sad news to you that college would be put on hold for him indefinitely.

“It’s my dad,” he’d told you. “Fucker just up and left and we haven’t heard from him since. Not that I should be surprised. I guess I'm only shocked it took him so long.”

You could hear the words come through gritted teeth, how he’d tried to hide the venom that dripped from each syllable. He was beyond pissed. You knew Choso better than you knew any other friend. There was no better way to get on his bad side than to mess with his beloved siblings. 

But you knew more than anything that Choso was disappointed, crestfallen even.

For Choso, getting out of that small beach town and getting an education was his path to a better life for himself and for his brothers. His father taking that from him felt like the ultimate betrayal. What could you even say to lift his spirits at that point?

“I'm so sorry, Cho. Fuck, I'm sorry.” 

It didn't feel like enough.

You checked in with him when you could. And he checked in with you when he could, but he was busy working. He’d accepted a full time position as a manager at Panda’s and had even told you a spot would be there for when you returned the next summer.

But it looked like someone else would have to fill the position this year.

You missed your vacations back to your second home. You missed the warmth of the sand beneath your feet and the smell of the salty ocean air as you all spent your days at the beach. You missed scooping ice cream at Panda’s and doodling the horizon in your sketchbook from your spot behind the counter when work was slow. You missed sneaking out to bonfires and having Choso toss you his sweater the moment you landed in his arms in nothing but the shorts and bikini tops he so hated.

You missed Choso.

That last night at the beach revealed to you for the first time that you may have feelings for your best friend that are more than just friendship. Freshly 18 year old you with almost no prior dating history hardly knew what those feelings meant. But almost 20 year old you, well it's been loud and clear for some time that this has slowly become more than some childish crush. 

You like Choso. 

The whispered call of your name pulls you from your spiraling thoughts and you look up to find Satoru’s bright eyes staring questioningly at you from across the table. You’d all met up in the library to study for your exam coming up at the end of the week. Of course he was checking in because you’d zoned out in the middle of your cram session to daydream about your long distance crush.

Except, that wasn’t why Satoru was checking in at all.

It’s only when Satoru waves his hand next to him that you see another tall figure standing beside the table. Your eyes roam up his form until they land on his face. And it surprises you when you feel your heart kickstart and begin racing.

Because you thought only Choso could get that reaction from you. 

“This is Kaito,” Satoru introduces him and Kaito smiles, eyes locked on yours and you think you can hear your heart pounding in your chest.

Kaito is tall, slender, but not in the way Satoru is. If anything, you’d say he has the same body type as Suguru. He’s lean. You can tell from the way his clothes accentuate his form that he’s fit.  And he’s got the most beautiful smile, teeth so brilliantly white that you’re nervous to see how brightly they shine in the sun. Gorgeous emerald green eyes sit beneath long black lashes and wow, he is really fucking good looking.

He politely introduces himself, running his hand through a messy black wolfcut as he takes the seat right beside you after Suguru heads to his next class. 

You all resume studying shortly after Satoru’s friend’s arrival. Kaito seems to fit right in, quickly becoming friendly with the rest of the group and you. But you soon notice that Kaito has taken quite a liking to you.

Again, 20 year old you is not as clueless as you used to be and the attention he focuses on you is giving you an insane amount of butterflies.

You catch his little glimpses at you from the corner of your eye, the way he’s quick to lean over and help you resolve an equation you were stuck on, the way he never breaks eye contact with you when you’re speaking with him. Like every word that leaves your mouth is the most important thing he’s ever heard.

“So yeah, that’s why hot cheetos are like the best chip there are.” You finish your rant, beaming because you finally got to tell someone your true feelings about this.

“Absolutely…fascinating…” Utahime comments sarcastically. She’d stopped listening to your rambling ages ago, nose buried in her textbook.

Shoko and Satoru had left to get refreshments so unfortunately for them, they'd missed the entire thing.

But Kaito, you’ve got his full attention. “No, really. It’s truly fascinating. I’d love to hear more.”

His grin has your tummy squeezing, that sweet tickle returning and you find yourself smiling right back despite your little epiphany about your feelings regarding your childhood friend just moments before Kaito showed up.

“Yeah?”

“Definitely.”

A loud slurping can be heard from across the table, effectively popping the little bubble that you and Kaito had suddenly found yourselves in. On the other side of the table sits Satoru, back from his trip to the cafe, guzzling a sweet juice while he watches you and Kaito talk over the rim of his glasses. Next to him, Utahime’s face is twisted into a look of pure hatred and disgust. Satoru ignores it.

“Y’all should go out,” Satoru suggests casually, like he’s talking about something as unimportant as the weather. “Talk about animal crackers or whatever the hell.”

Shoko snorts as she discreetly slides a snack over to Utahime while no one is looking. Except everyone sees it anyway because these two are so fucking obvious.

“Yeah, go out,” Shoko also chimes in. “Think you two would make a great couple.”

Your face ignites with heat, the sudden idea making you want to kick Satoru and Shoko under the table.

But Kaito smirks, eyes holding your gaze like they have been this entire time and he says, “I’d like that. Can I?”

You glance at Utahime who stares at you in surprise. 

“Um…can you what?” You question, trying to buy yourself time to think.

“Can I take you out? Like, on a date.” His response is quick. It’s so easy for him. He just spits it out and says what he wants. And you’re sitting here still freaking out just over Satoru’s suggestion.

“I…”

“If I bring hot cheetos with me, would that make it more tempting?” He’s so charming, and cute, and sweet and–

Ugh, what reason do you have to say no to him?

The sudden vision of pigtails flashes through your mind. And suddenly, the excitement you were feeling seems to fall away. And Kaito seems to sense it, because his grin falters a little, becoming just a small smile on his lips and he simply nods and gives you a “sure” when you ask him, “Can I get back to you?”

- - - - - - - -

“I met someone today,” you speak quietly into the phone, lying in bed after leaving your study date with your friends. You’re nervous. Probably because you’re testing the waters here. Probably because your walk back to your dorm after Kaito had asked you out was eye opening. 

Can you really open yourself to date someone else seriously when your thoughts are plagued by another man? Can you open yourself to the possibility of being with someone else when the person you want to be with is hundreds of miles away, in some little beach town?

Because that's what you've come to realize. You want to be with Choso. 

You just need to know if he feels the same way you do. You have an idea of how Choso feels about you based on the last time you’d seen each other. But that doesn’t make you feel any less like digging a hole in the ground and burying yourself in embarrassment thinking about bringing any of this up. 

“Oh yeah? Another new friend?” Choso asks distantly. He’s currently at Panda’s closing shop, so he’s got you on speaker while he completes his nightly tasks. You were happy (maybe too happy) when he'd answered your call tonight. 

“Sort of a friend, sure…He’s nice…”

You’re hoping he’ll take the hint quickly here.

But when Choso just gives you an absentminded “that’s cool”, you know you’ve only got half of his attention. And you want all of it.

“Yeah. His name is Kaito. Really nice guy.” And it’s true. You think Kaito is nice, but you think Choso is nicer. That's not to say you're not into Kaito either. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t interested in him. But you’d also be lying if you said you weren’t interested in Choso as well. Maybe more than you are Kaito. Because for you, you’re pretty sure it will always be Choso. Even though you've never had anyone else, you know you don't need to. It's Choso for you.

That is why your thoughts have been consumed with him. This revelation has been so freeing.

You just need to know if he feels the same. 

“Glad you’re meeting new people.”

He’s still distracted, the sounds of him pushing the chairs around the store’s lobby echoing through the phone. You didn’t want to have to show your hand so quickly, but you’re tired from a long day of studying and tired from years of beating around the bush. It’s been over a decade of your feelings slowly building for Choso and now your heart is ready to burst. You have no choice but to push this conversation along a little faster.

“Yeah, his name is Kaito. He asked me out on a date actually.”

And finally, you get an actual reaction from Choso. Not a grunt, not a hum in reply or some offhand comment. Instead, you hear him shuffling around, then the sound of tapping on his phone, likely taking you off of the speaker. His voice comes through, crisp and clear now.

“Sorry,” he apologizes through quick breaths. “What was that?”

“I said Kaito asked me out on a date…this weekend.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yep,” you reply cheerily, hopefully driving the knife a little deeper. Immature, sure, but at this point you’d do anything to get Choso a little closer to saying whether or not he has any feelings for you, if he wants you in the same way you want him. “Probably dinner at his place. Maybe a movie. Not sure yet.”

Choso hums quietly. “And you like this guy…that you just met…today…Kaito…” He says his name like he’s testing it on his tongue.

“He’s really nice.”

“As you’ve said.”

You’re about taken aback by the sudden bite in Choso’s tone, but you ignore his snarkiness. “I don't know how I feel about him yet.”

“Clearly you like him enough to be telling me about him.”

More bite behind his words. Still, you push forward. “I mean, is that bad?” You adjust the phone, moving it to your other ear as you get comfortable beneath your blankets. “You’re my friend, right?”

“Sure, but we don’t talk about stuff like this.”

And he had a point. Even during your summers entertaining Mahito, Choso never wanted to hear about any conversations you had with him. And it’s not like you had that many interactions with him anyway since Choso seemed to always be there whenever the silver haired boy was near you. And you had friends back home to talk about your school girl crushes that never resulted in anything with. 

Aside from your first encounter with Mahito, Choso had also never discussed whether or not you were ever interested in anyone romantically and you had never thought to ask him either. Granted, you only saw each other over the summers and during the year, school kept you both so busy, you couldn’t worry about dating. Your parents were never against it and you'd gone to a movie or two with people who had asked you out, but it was never serious. You didn't care enough to commit to anyone, too focused on trying to get into a good school.

In the summers, the last thing on your mind was asking Choso if he had feelings for anyone else. Most of the time he was with you, anyway. And when he wasn't, he was with his brothers. 

You'd never given thought to Choso…desiring anyone.

Suddenly, the thought of Choso with someone else makes your stomach churn, has your head spinning. Choso in someone else’s arms, hugging someone else, kissing someone else’s lips.

Oh, it has your blood boiling in a way you’ve never experienced before and you try not to sound too petulant when you finally mutter, “Yeah, but I want to talk to you about it now.”

“But why?” He sounds thoroughly confused. You try not to sigh into the receiver. 

“Choso…we’ve literally kissed before, but talking about crushes is where you draw the line?”

It’s the first time either of you have ever mentioned the kiss, now a memory that continues to plague your thoughts and your dreams. 

“Even weirder reason to talk to me about this,” you hear him mumble on the other end.

“How? We’re adults! We can talk about things like that. Besides…” you fiddle with your blanket, worrying your bottom lip between your teeth nervously. “It’s really not weird at all…unless the kiss meant something…more to you?”

You’re met with silence. A long stretch of silence that has you fidgeting anxiously. You almost want to laugh, say “I’m just kidding!” and hang up. But then Choso surprises you. He speaks so quietly, you almost don’t hear it over the thundering of your own heart.

“Did it mean something to you?”

Of course it did. What a stupid question. That silly little first kiss and those lips of Choso’s have been eating away at your brain for almost two years. Saying it meant something to you felt like the understatement of the century. You want to scream out loud that that kiss meant everything to you and you’re sorry it took you so long to stop being an idiot and realize that yes, the kiss was more than that. It opened the door for you to realize exactly how you felt about Choso. 

But even so, you still answer with a very quiet “yes”.

And because it’s Choso, who has never lied to you a day in his life, he responds without hesitation. “Me too.”

Finally! The confirmation you were waiting for! The kiss meant something to Choso, too. You weren’t crazy!

“I’ve been thinking about it since it happened. A lot,” Choso confesses.

“Me too. Probably way too much.”

Choso chuckles, which makes you laugh in turn. It’s the answer you wanted to hear from him, but now that that’s out there and your heart is calming down just a bit, it gives your brain enough time to catch up. And now, you’re a little confused.

“Wait. Why’d you tell me I should go out with Kaito?” You laugh again; half from nerves, half from feeling so silly that you used the guy as bait instead of just outright asking Choso how he felt.

The silence has suddenly returned and any semblance of humor seconds ago has now vanished. Now, you feel nervous again. Like your gut is telling you to end this call immediately. This is the calm before the storm and that knife you were twisting into Choso’s back to try and urge an honest response from him soon finds its way into yours when Choso says, “Because you should.”

The knife twists.

“You like him, don’t you? Go on a date with him.”

“Ha ha.” It’s all you can think to say, because it’s keeping the pain at bay for just a second longer. Only a second longer.

“I’m being serious.”

Another twist. And the sting begins to settle in.

“Choso…”

He says your name back to you. “Do you like him?”

“I like you.” It’s the first time you’ve openly admitted it to him. A few seconds pass by with no response, so you keep talking, if only to fill the silence. “Obviously you feel the same way or that kiss wouldn’t be on your mind two years later, right?”

Choso sighs softly. How can he be so calm and collected when you’re sitting here just now realizing that you’re shaking, nearly vibrating out of your skin.

“I like you, too,” he finally admits. “Have for a long time. Couldn’t tell you when it started, but it’s been for as long as I can remember. So yeah, I feel the same.”

“Okay…” You should feel calmer now, confident in the fact that your feelings for each other are out in the open. But that sharp sting of rejection is slowly starting to build, the knife in your back ready to bury itself deeper. “But?”

“Hmm?”

“I know you. There’s a but coming…isn’t there?”

Another bout of silence and you’re starting to lose your mind having to sit through it. This is not how you expected this conversation to go. And you blame yourself for the way it feels like your heart is going to beat straight through your ribcage and fall flat to the floor.

“But I can’t do anything about these…feelings.” He spits the last word out like it’s bitter. “There’s no future where we could ever be together.”

The knife sinks in.

“Why not?”

“Because–”

“And don’t give me some bullshit reason, either.” You cut him off. Because you don’t want excuses. You want honesty, like Choso has always given you.

“What’s a bullshit reason to you?” His tone is snippy again.

What is a bullshit reason? You don’t know. All you know is that you have feelings for this man who once pulled you from certain death over a decade ago. And he has feelings for you, too! He just told you so! You want to be with him, but he doesn’t seem to want to be with you even if he hasn’t said so yet.

Ironically, all this makes you feel like you’re drowning all over again, struggling to pull your head above the water but going nowhere. It's Choso holding you under instead of pulling you out this time.

“...I don’t know,” you finally answer.

“I do,” Choso responds tersely. “I can give you a reason. Hell, I can give you two, three, maybe even four reasons why we can’t be together.”

“Cho–”

“But I don’t need all of those reasons. I only need one – I’m no good for you.”

You roll your eyes. “Choso, you’ve been my best friend practically my whole life. I cannot think of a single person better for me than you.”

He sighs your name, calling for your attention, but you keep going. “And you know me better than anyone else. I know you better than anyone else–”

Choso says your name again, a little harsher this time. You keep on.

“Besides, you said yourself how that kiss stays on your mind. It’s always on my mind too and we can–”

“Stop!” Choso’s harsh voice cuts through your droning. This time, you can’t ignore the snippiness. Never, in all the time that you’ve known Choso, has he raised his voice at you. At least, not in anger or annoyance. Maybe when you were kids, because kids yell. Kids are loud and bossy and Choso was both of those things as a kid. He was always yelling. But he had never yelled at you the way he just had.

You’re so shocked, your mind so suddenly frazzled, that you can’t bring yourself to respond.

“Why are you insisting on this?” Choso sighs, trying to calm himself, but his voice is still coming out a lot rougher than it ever has in your direction. And it’s hurting you in ways you hadn’t known possible, your little heart beginning to crack within your chest.

“I...I just thought –”

“Thought what, exactly?” Choso asks, a dry chuckle following. “Thought that we’d confess that we have feelings for each other and then we-we’d talk about our futures, make plans to be together forever and ever and then sail off into the sunset?”

“I mean–”

“No.”

That’s all he says.

“No?” You’ll need more than that.

“No. There will be no talking about futures together, making plans, sailing off into the sunset…none of it.”

Those little cracks in your heart start to spread, slowly chipping away. That sharp knife you were twisting into Choso’s back is now lodged deep into your own and it’s fucking killing you slowly.

“I don’t–” Your voice is quivering now and you have to take a deep inhale to steady yourself. “I don’t understand. If I have feelings for you, and you have feelings for me…you said the kiss meant more to you!”

“And I meant that.”

“Then why?! Why are you doing this? Is this because of Kaito?”

“Yes!”

“ I–I barely know him! I only brought him up being childish. I was hoping you would realize you had feelings for me. That’s it! I want to be with you!”

“But you should be with someone like him.” Choso’s voice is quiet now, the harshness of it finally gone. “It wouldn't have mattered if it was Kaito or Utahime or whats the other guy? Suguru? I can’t give you what he– what anyone who isn’t me can.”

Now you’re lost. “What?”

“I can’t be what you need me to be. I can’t be the boyfriend you need, the support you’d need if I were to become your boyfriend…”

It’s embarrassing how quickly you feel the tears brimming along your waterline. How your heart shatters into pieces as he lists off the reasons he isn’t good enough for you.

“Look at my fucked up life. No mother, a deadbeat piece of shit for a father, three brothers that I’m solely responsible for and have been for practically my entire life…” He says your name, like a plea, begging for you to listen to him. Like you should take his word for it and simply accept it.

But you won’t accept it.

“I know all of that, Choso. I know you and what you’ve been through – what you’re going through – better than anyone else. And I still want you.”

Now you say his name like a plea, begging for him to hear you and your words. You don’t care about his struggles, about how he’s had to keep his family together his entire life, forced to grow up too quickly and become the glue that holds everything together. You were there for all of that up until recently. And even through it all, you always found your way back to Choso. That won’t change now.

The quiet drags on, just dead air hanging between you two and when he finally speaks, he surprises you. “And I want you, too.” He tells you, lifting your spirits ever so slightly.

Then just as quickly, he breaks you. Again.

“But I’m doing you a favor, so please. Just go date whoever you want, whoever’s good to you.”

“Choso–” Your voice breaks, your lip trembling as you try to fight the sob threatening to crawl up your throat.

“Please.” You hear the way Choso’s voice cracks in a similar manner. Like he has a sob to match your own trying to escape as well. “You…God, you’ve got your whole life ahead of you. Don’t waste it on someone like me. You have everything going for you. I have nothing going for me. Just some loser working a deadend job in the same deadend town I’ve always been in and will probably always be in. And I refuse to drag you down with me. I’m looking out for you…Like I’ve always tried to do.”

Your protector.

Even when you don’t want him to be. Even when you wish he wouldn’t be. Even when it hurts you.

“It’s not that I don’t want to be with you,” Choso tells you. “I do. Fuck, believe me when I say that. I would love nothing more than that because I've wanted it for so long…but you deserve so much more than this.”

“You are not a loser, Choso. Just…stop. I think we can–”

“I have to go,” He interrupts. “Need to finish this stuff up and head home. Yuuji has a project due tomorrow that I need to help with.” He’s quiet again, but you can just make out the sound of him sniffling, choking down that same sob before he says, “I’ll talk to you later.”

Choso ends the call abruptly, before you can even say goodbye, and the shakiness of his voice stays with you for the rest of the night. Even as you shower, numb to the excruciating heat of the water. As you brush your teeth and crawl beneath your sheets where you finally allow your heart to fully crumple. Even then, you hear the clear tremble of Choso’s words.

It hurts. This is a pain you don’t have any experience with. You don't know what to do with it. This is a pain you’d hoped you would never have to feel. And you never expected your best friend to be the one to cause it.

But you’re hopeful that you two will be able to patch things up. That you two will be able to go back to normal, even if things are awkward for a bit. Because you don’t want to lose Choso. He’s your very best friend, long distance or not. He means way too much to you for your crush to get in the way. You just hope you haven’t ruined things between you two.

Besides, he did say he would talk to you later. You take solace in that, finally letting sleep take over even as your tears still fall.

If only you’d have known that when you opened your eyes the next morning and opened your phone to send an apology text to Choso, that your text would fail to go through. 

If only you’d known that you would go to check Choso’s social media pages only to see blank screens because he’d apparently blocked you. You'd search through every account he has on every social media platform and find yourself no longer able to see any of his information.

“I refuse to drag you down with me.” Those words play on a loop in your mind.

He really meant it.

[sapphire-writes]

Thin Ice (modern!HOTD)

pairing: Aegon x Reader & Cregan Stark x Reader

summary: Aegon and you spend the holidays together. Spring semester comes quickly and tensions rise between the team.

rating: Mature/Explicit/18+ (detailed warning below the cut)

series masterlist

previous chapter ~ Ch. 10: Confessions ~ next chapter

warnings: language, explicit p in v, mommy kink, oral (m-receiving), praising, slight edging/overstimulation, titty sucking, physical fighting, descriptions of blood

word count: 4.2k

note: hope you enjoy this chapter! thanks for all the love! one chapter left after this for my babies 🥹

dividers by @firefly-graphics

The tension between you and Helaena was short-lived after everything went down at the funeral. The days after the funeral were quiet, until Helaena and you talked for a long time. You told her everything. How it started with the deal and turned into something more. Helaena listened carefully, her violet eyes never leaving you. 

“You know I’ll kill him, right?” she’d told you, her pretty face deadly serious, “Castrate him, chop him up into little pieces, get some Carrion Beetles-”

“Hel I know,” you’d told her with a laugh, “Wait, what are Carrion Beetles?”

“They eat the decomposing flesh of-”

“You know what!” you said, cutting her off, “I get it. But seriously, Hel,” you take her hand in yours, “Nothing would make me not be your friend anymore. Even if Aegon and I don’t work out.”

“I know,” she said in a soft voice, “I just get so scared, you know?”

“Yeah, I understand,” you told her, “And I should have been honest with you from the beginning. I’m sorry I wasn’t.”

“It’s okay,” she’d said, pulling you into a hug, “You know I love you, right? You’re my girl.”

You held onto Helaena tightly, happy tears filling your eyes, “I love you so much Hel.”

The next few weeks go by in a wonderful blur. 

After Viserys’ funeral, you returned to campus for the whirlwind of finals. Aegon had passed philosophy, receiving a B- on his final. He’d stared at his phone in disbelief as the grade appeared as you’d jumped for joy. Then, like every year, you packed up a couple of bags preparing to say goodbye to KLU for the next month. Sara was always a wreck during this time, insisting you Facetime every day. 

Only this winter, you join the Targaryen family again at their winter home up north. You’d gone with them last year, only for a couple of weeks, as Helaena’s plus one. This time, you were the guest of a different Targaryen.

The Targaryens were avid skiers, Aemond especially. Though you prefer the comfort of their extravagant cabin, nestled beneath several blankets with a steaming cup of hot chocolate and a good book. It was a dream come true, spending winter break with your boyfriend, and your best friend.

Well….boyfriend?

You and Aegon hadn’t really talked about it since before the funeral. You knew you were only seeing each other, and you knew the feelings you had for him that were only getting stronger with each passing day. But you hadn’t exactly defined the relationship. 

Winter break was winding down, and a new semester looming with the new year. You didn’t feel eager to leave your comfortable, cozy bubble in the mountains. 

“Have you been having fun?” Aegon asks, letting you snuggle against his chest. He places a kiss on top of your head as you watch the flames flicker in the fireplace.

It’s late, everyone is in bed, but you and Aegon have been confined to the couch in the living room for most of the night. The living room is spectacular, open with high ceilings with exposed beams. When you’re upstairs, you can lean over the balcony, looking down onto the living room and kitchen. 

The house is quiet except for the crackling of the logs in the fireplace. You’d been watching holiday movies all afternoon with Daeron and Helaena; even Aemond had stopped in to watch National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. But as the night grew later, everyone headed to their respective rooms. 

“Mhmm,” you answer, snuggling closer. 

His shirt is so soft and smells like the new cologne Alicent had bought him for Christmas. You’d nearly jumped him the moment he’d applied some. 

“Good,” Aegon murmurs into your hair, “I wish we could just stay here.”

“Me too,” you tell him, “Maybe we can hide in the hot tub.”

“Mmm and hope they forget us?” Aegon asks. You can hear the smile in his voice.

“Exactly.”

“Unlikely, unfortunately,” Aegon says, causing you to sigh dramatically, “Aww, I’m sorry bunny.” He wraps his arms around you, squishing you closer to him. 

You make a noise of contentment as you press closer to him. You can’t help but feel light-headed, with how warm he is and the enticing scent of his cologne. You’re definitely still in the honeymoon stage, you can’t seem to get enough of him. You glance up at him, looking through your lashes. 

“What is it, pretty girl?” he asks, tapping your nose, “That face means you want something.”

You can’t help but grin. He knows you. You sit up, reluctantly pulling away from his embrace, bringing your hand to rest on his thigh. You can feel the muscle flex as you rub up and down. He’s got strong legs, Aegon Targaryen. You suppose he has to, being on the ice all the time.

“Can I….” you trail off, still rubbing his thigh, feeling the softness of his plaid pajama pants. 

Aegon raises an eyebrow, eyes falling to your hand. 

“Can you….what?” Aegon asks, mouth forming a smile as he finishes his sentence. 

You can feel your cheeks flushing with embarrassment and want. You know he knows, he just wants to hear you say it. Aegon loves hearing you say filthy things. 

“Let me suck your cock, baby,” you murmur, leaning forward to bury your face in the side of his neck, kissing the smooth skin, “Can I, please?”

“Fuck,” Aegon manages to choke out, “Shit, of course, you can.”

You release a satisfied hum, nipping at his neck before pushing yourself up off the sofa. Aegon hurriedly moves the blankets off of his lap, eyes nervously glancing upwards. You smirk up at him playfully. 

“Nervous?” you ask, digging your nails into his thigh.

“Dirty girl,” Aegon slightly scolds, smiling down at you, “What if someone wakes up?”

“We better be quick then,” you tell him. 

You bring your hands to his hips as he lifts them, letting you tug down his pajama pants and underwear freeing his thick cock. It slaps against his stomach, standing at desperate attention; the tip flushed pink and weeping, begging to be touched. 

You stroke his thighs again, taking time to admire his dick, the way it curves upwards slightly, the blue veins threading their way up the underside. Pretty cock for a pretty boy. 

“You just gonna stare at it?” Aegon teases, his voice nearing a whine. 

You flick an eyebrow up at him. He’s teasing, but you know it's a facade. He’s as desperate for you as you are for him. 

“You’ll take what I give you,” you tell him, anticipation curling in your belly.

“Oh yeah?” Aegon says, leaning forward to brush some hair from your face.

You nuzzle against his hand momentarily, before leaning forward to wrap your lips around the tip of his cock, suckling lightly. Aegon hisses, a whine leaving his lips as you swipe your tongue across the slit, lapping away at the salty liquid that beaded there. 

“Shhhh baby,” you murmur, barely taking your lips off his cock. 

Humming in satisfaction, you close your eyes as you take more of him into your mouth. You hollow your cheeks letting him sink deeper into your mouth and down your throat. Your heart beats furiously in your chest as your lungs panic momentarily before you remember to breathe through your nose and open your eyes to gaze up at Aegon. 

His jaw is slack, head thrown back, eyes screwed shut in pleasure. His hand fists your hair, tugging just enough that delicious pinpricks of pain dance across your scalp. Aegon’s eyes flutter open as you remove him completely from your mouth, before licking up the underside of his shaft and engulfing him yet again. 

“Jesus Christ,” Aegon moans, thighs tensing as you deepthroat him. He’s struggling to keep his voice down, as another moan escapes him. 

You bob your head up and down, hollowing your cheeks and sucking as you do so, turning your mouth into a vacuum around his length. Saliva pools in your mouth and you break away from him with a gasp, spittle coating your lips and dripping down your chin.

“My messy, pretty girl,” Aegon purrs, as you bring a hand to his shaft, stroking him as you begin to mouth at his balls, “Fuck that’s so good, baby.”

You bring your attention back to his cock, an ache beginning to form between your legs causing you to clench your thighs together for some kind of friction. You move your head around him with intense purpose. You need to make him feel good, need to make him cum down your throat. You can feel him shaking below you, inching closer and closer toward his orgasm. 

“Fuck..mommy,” he whimpers suddenly, and you freeze. 

You release him with a pop, a trail of saliva still connecting you to the head of his cock. Aegon’s eyes widen as your lips form a lazy smile.

“What was that, baby?” you ask, stroking his length with your hand.

Aegon’s cheeks are flushed with embarrassment and he drops his violet eyes away from your gaze. He’s silent a moment before wetting his lips. 

“Nothing,” he murmurs, “Let’s just-”

“No,” you tell him, squeezing his length gently, “We’ll continue when you say it again.”

Aegon’s jaw slacks, his lavender eyes wide. You’re not letting him get away with that so easily. Not when what he said made your clit throb intensely. You can feel yourself growing wetter, thighs sticking together.

“Wh-What?” he asks softly, causing a rush of desire to wash over you.

“Say it again,” you encourage, “C’mon be a good boy.”

You lazily stroke his cock, the movement effortless with how lubricated it is with your saliva. 

“Oh fuck, oh shit-” Aegon says, eyes squeezing shut.

You release your grip, stopping the pumping motion of your hand. Aegon whines in disappointment, eyes fluttering open. His mouth drops open in shock, his violet eyes are glassy with needy tears. 

“Baby,” he whines, chest heaving with each inhale. 

“Say it,” you encourage, bringing your lips to rest on the head of his cock. You wrap your fingers around his cock once more, tapping it against your puckered lips, “C’mon Egg.”

Aegon whimpers as you say it, sucking his lower lip between his teeth.

“Fuck, Mommy please,” he whimpers, dick twitching in your hand. 

Desire burns through your veins like liquid fire hearing him say that to you, watching his lower lip tremble with the whines he lets spill free. You only hope you’re being quiet enough that no one upstairs hears. 

“Good boy,” you praise him, taking him into your mouth once more.

You bob your head up and down, rewarding him for his good behavior. It sends a rush of adrenaline through you, having Aegon in the palm of your hand like this. He always seems to be the more dominant one in bed, but here on your knees in front of him, he’s at your mercy. 

“Mommy, please,” he whines again, voice breaking, “Gonna cum for you.”

You hum in appreciation, popping off for a moment, stroking him with your slippery, wet hand. You bring your other hand to his balls, fondling them gently. 

“I want your cum, baby, Mommy needs it,” you tell him, your voice practically a purr as you engulf him in your mouth again. 

“Holy shit,” he gasps, and you feel his cock twitch, feel his warm cum paint the back of your throat as he finishes with a moan. 

You keep going, keep moving your mouth around him until every drop has been drained and Aegon is a whimpering, begging mess.

“Please, Mommy, it's too much, please, please!” he whimpers as you finally release him.

You bite your lip, looking up at him as he struggles to regain his breathing. His lavender eyes are blown with lust, and he smiles down at you before grasping your elbows and dragging you up towards him. Aegon captures your lips in a heated kiss, moaning as you eagerly slip your tongue into his mouth.

You break away, only to slip off your own pajama pants before moving to sit on his lap. You straddle his waist, grinding against his lap, feeling him growing hard once more underneath you. It’s impressive, truly. 

“Let me make you feel good, Mommy,” he groans, hands firmly planted on your ass and squeezing harshly. 

You gasp against his mouth, and he drags his lips down your jaw to the column of your throat, leaving wet kisses in his wake. Aegon brings one of his hands in between you, looping through the lace of your panties and pulling them to the side. You raise your hips before sinking down on top of him, the stretch not failing to take your breath away.

You stay like that for a moment, lips barely touching, the fire crackling behind you. Faintly, you hear the creaking of footsteps upstairs, the opening and shutting of someone’s closet door. You and Aegon lock eyes for a moment, before dissolving into nervous giggles. 

You roll your hips, connecting your lips to his once more, kissing him slowly. Aegon brings his hands to your waist again, aiding you with your bouncing on his thick cock.

“You’re doing such a good job,” you whisper into his mouth. Aegon eats your praise like he’s starved for it, kissing your neck, and your jaw, trailing down between your breasts, “Making Mommy feel so good, baby.”

Aegon whimpers at your words, tugging your shirt out of the way and bringing his hot mouth to your pebbled nipple. His free hand digs into your waist, pulling you closer to him. 

“Yeah?” he moans, looking up at you as he continues to suckle on your nipple.

“Yes baby,” you assure him, running your fingers through his hair, “Oh fuck, Aegon.”

The pleasure is building in your abdomen with every roll of your hips, every flick of his tongue on your nipple. When Aegon brings his hand between you to rub circles around your clit, your head falls to his shoulder. White hot pleasure tingles everywhere, from the top of your head down to your toes. Your nails scrape against his scalp and then you’re shuddering on top of him, pussy clenching around his thick cock as you soak his cock. 

“Fuck,” Aegon hisses, as your clenching sends him into his second release, “Oh fuuuck.”

Aegon releases your breast, kissing his way back to your mouth. You roll your hips experimentally with his ever-softening cock still sheathed within you, causing him to let out a sharp groan.

“M’senstitive baby,” he mutters, against your lips. Teasingly, you roll your hips again, causing him to not-so-gently bite down on your lower lip.

“Ouch!” you hiss, slapping his chest lightly. 

Aegon laughs softly, gazing at you as you brush some pieces of hair from his forehead. You notice him staring and pout, wrapping your arms around his neck. 

“What?” you ask, eyes narrowing.

“You’re just beautiful, that’s all,” Aegon says with a slight shrug.

“Oh?” 

“Mhmm,” he says, smiling thoughtfully, “You know I had a thing for you last year.”

Your heart picks up speed once more. Aegon always seems to have that effect on you.

“What?” you ask, not really believing him.

“It’s true,” he assures you, “When you came on the trip last year. I kept thinking about visiting your room. Joining you in the hot tub.”

“Why didn’t you?” you ask, though you already know.

Aegon doesn’t answer. You were seeing Jason then too, which wouldn’t have been pretty. 

“Timing wasn’t right,” Aegon says with a grin, “And timing is everything.”

You smile at him. He’s right. Everything ended up the way it was supposed to.

“Speaking of timing, we should probably get dressed if we don’t want someone to walk in on me seated on your cock,” you tell him, and Aegon feigns a gasp. 

“I mean, I’m into exhibitionism if you’re up for it-” You slam your hand over his mouth before he can finish, but you know he’s smiling from the crinkling of his eyes. 

“You’re a bad boy,” you whisper, slowly letting your hand drop.

“No no no, you said I was good,” he insists, kissing your lips. 

Reluctantly, you move away from him, pulling your panties back into place and putting your pants on. Aegon does the same as you glance out the window. 

“Egg look!” you gasp, walking over to the sliding glass door. 

Large snowflakes have begun to fall, and a thin coating of white blankets the ground outside. The stars are bright, the moonlight shining through the trees and bathing the world in silver. You always liked winter for that reason; the stars seem brighter when it's below freezing. You press your hand to the frosty glass of the door, suppressing a shiver.

Aegon joins behind you, putting his hand on top of yours, and pressing his back against you until your breasts are pressed against the glass. Your nipples harden at the cold sensation and you let out a breathy gasp. 

“We can have a quickie right here,” he teases, kissing your neck. You smile, unable to stop yourself.

“Against the door?” you ask, eyebrows raised, arching your back.

“Temperature play,” he sing-songs and you shake your head. 

“Time for bed,” you tell him, taking his hand and leading him toward the stairs. 

With the start of the spring semester came the first hockey scrimmage. Sara, now officially Jace’s girlfriend, was making it her permanent mission to be at every game the Knights had. Scrimmages, practices, the whole deal. Of course, you’re more than happy to tag along, especially now that you and Aegon are public. 

“I mean, Cregan’s a nice guy,” Sara says with a shrug, “I’m sure they talked it out.”

Now that everyone knew you and Aegon were a thing, life was so much less stressful. Except when it came to Cregan. You’d watched them warm up together on the ice, sensing the tension from the stands. Though you admit, you were a little distracted watching Aegon do those damn hockey stretches where he’s basically thrusting against the ice. He even glanced up at you, flashing a smile as he did them.

This guy. 

Your gaze drifts back to the rink, watching as the King’s Landing Knights retake the ice. The team does a lap around, and your eyes immediately find Aegon. As the team forms their positions, you look over to Cregan who stands in the net, his eyes locked on Aegon. 

“Yeah,” you agree, “Yeah they totally are fine.”

“Sure,” Baela says, looking at Cregan as well, “There’s no tension or anything.”

“Oh jeez,” Rhaena says, biting her lip.

“What?” you ask, hoping you’re just being paranoid. 

Baela and Rhaena exchange nervous glances. 

“Nothing!” they say in unison. 

Something is definitely off on the ice. With the team in general. Aegon’s pissed; you can tell by the way he’s shouting at everyone, teammates and opponents alike. Cregan’s pissed as well, calling out plays from his spot in the goal, calling time-outs, and nearly spending time in the penalty box for roughness with another player. 

“This blows,” Sara says with a sigh. The Knights are down considerably, it's clear they’re going to lose this game. Even if it's just a scrimmage, it doesn’t go well for the beginning of this half of the season.

Two minutes are left on the clock and you’re feeling anxious about the game ending. You’re watching the clock when Aegon skates over, calling Cregan in the net. You can’t tell what he said, but something lights up in Cregan’s eyes. 

As Aegon skates around the other side, Cregan throws his stick to the ice. 

“Oh shit-” you breathe, as Cregan slams into Aegon’s back. 

Aegon’s taken by surprise, falling forward, stick flying out of his grasp. In a second, he’s back on his feet, slamming himself into Cregan, the both of them crashing into the plexiglass wall. The referees are blowing their whistles like crazy, and other members of the team are pulling them apart. Aegon rips off his helmet, chucking it at Cregan from across the ice. 

Cregan smacks it out of the way, breaking out of Jace’s grip and punching Aegon in the face. You see the splatter of blood paint the ice red, and hear Aegon’s laugh as he spits a wad of blood and saliva before rubbing his nose with his gloved hand. Reese Bolton has his arm around Aegon, holding him tightly as he struggles to get Cregan. Reese is a bigger guy than Egg, he holds him with ease, seemingly not caring about the blood that runs from Aegon’s face onto his arm. 

Aegon and Cregan are hauled off the ice and you can feel everyone’s eyes on you. 

“Holy,” Sara says, mouth hanging open.

“Fuck,” Rhaena and Baela say in unison once more.

“Thank you, Shining twins,” you grumble. You’d always refer to Baela and Rhaena as that whenever they say things at the same time. It’s a twin thing, they always argue. 

“Coach is gonna murder them,” Sara says with a nod, “Damn. Jace looked so hot holding Cregan back.”

“Jesus Christ,” Baela groans, “Can you focus for one second, please?”

“It’s okay,” you assure Baela, “I just hope Egg’s okay, Cregan got him pretty good.”

“Egg loves a fight,” Rhaena tells you, “Did you see him laughing? Cregan just made his whole day.”

“I don’t know,” you say with a shake of your head. 

They call the game, everyone leaves the ice in a somber mood. You wait for a while on the bleachers as the team exits the locker rooms heading out for the night. You wait with Sara as Baela and Rhaena head to Late Night, the local diner on campus to grab some food. Sara runs down the bleachers to Jace as he emerges, wrapping her arms around him in a hug. Jace meets your eyes over her shoulder.

“Egg’s meeting with Coach, but he should be done soon. If you want to wait for him,” he tells you.

“Thanks, Jace,” you say with a smile.

“You sure you’re okay to wait? We can stay,” Sara tells you and you shake your head. 

“Go meet Bae and Rhae, I’m good, I’ll catch up,” you tell her with a smile.

You walk down the hallway toward the locker rooms to find Aegon, running into Cregan as he leaves. You stop awkwardly, as he raises his gaze from the floor noticing you. He scoffs, running a hand through his wet hair.

“Egg’s in there,” he tells you. 

“Are you okay?” you ask him.

Cregan is silent for a moment, brown eyes softening.

“Yeah,” he says, “Yeah I guess I just lost my cool for a second.”

You don’t know what to say, you just give him a nod.

“We’ve talked,” Cregan tells you, “Coach kind of insisted.”

“I’m glad,” you tell him, “I really didn’t mean to hurt you, Cregan. And I'm so sorry that I did.”

Cregan nods and continues down the hallway, brushing past you. You stand still for a moment, biting your lip, before turning.

“Hey!” you call.

He stops turning slightly at the sound of your voice.

“Are we…are we okay?” you ask him, unable to keep the hopeful tone from your voice. 

Cregan sighs, his eyes tired.

“Yeah,” he finally says, “Yeah, we’re good Y/N.”

A weight lifts from your chest at his words. You don’t think you and Cregan will be friends, but being okay with each other feels better than nothing. He and Aegon are teammates after all.

Aegon.

Cregan continues down the hallway, leaving the rink and you let him go. You begin walking once more, entering the men’s locker room. It’s empty and quiet, the dripping of the showers the only sound. 

“Egg?” you call, moving into the locker room.

You find him seated, freshly showered, lacing his sneakers. His hockey bag is next to him, stuffed with his pads and jersey. He tilts his head up to look at you, smiling that signature sideways grin of his. 

There’s already bruising around his eyes from the force of Cregan’s punch but thankfully it looks like he didn’t break his nose. You walk over to him.

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” you tell him, bringing a hand to his face, “You are okay, right?”

“Nose still straight, teeth still here,” he assures you, placing his hand over yours.

“What happened out there?” you ask, curious about what started the fight.

Aegon shakes his head, droplets of water tickling your hand.

 “Just told him to stop being a prick and guard the fucking goal,” Aegon tells you, “Set him off I guess. It was bound to happen sooner or later.”

“I’m sorry,” you tell him.

“Don’t be,” he says with a pout, “You’re worth every punch.”

You smile, stroking his cheek.

“I’m glad your face is okay,” you tell him. 

“Would you still like me if I’m missing a few teeth?” he jokes, smiling up at you.

“I’d love you regardless,” you answer, eyes widening at the realization of what you’ve said.

Aegon is silent for a moment, just gazing up at you in wonder, as though he can’t believe you’re really here with him. You’re mumbling through an embarrassed apology when he stands, cupping your cheeks with both hands and connecting your lips. He kisses you softly for a moment and everything you were thinking before fizzles out of your head.

Until all that’s left is him.

He pulls away, smiling.

“I love you too, bunny.”

note: hope you enjoyed!! ONE CHAPTER LEFT!! WOOOOO!!!

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[luvhughes43]

stress relief | luca fantilli

luvhughes43 masterlist🌷

request: I have a request for Luca! Readers really stressed out about friends and about life and everything going on, and Lucas always there to be her rock and just comfort his girl.

word count: 0.8k

This past week has been hard. With winter break now over and the new semester beginning you were absolutely exhausted. You had spent way too much time lounging around during the break that now that you needed to get back in routine you were struggling. On top of the late nights plus trying to organize yourself for the new semester, your friends have been fighting with each other and are now demanding you “pick a side”.

It was ridiculous honestly. They were fighting about something that took place over new years eve, and their weeks of fighting have pooled over into your life. Ergo, your friends weren’t hanging out with you until you decided on who was in the right. 

And to further bring stress to your life, the schools bookstore had completely fucked you over so you were now out $40 dollars and missing a book you needed to have read for next week. 

When you pulled up to Lucas' off-campus house, you nearly cried in relief. His schedule had been crazy busy recently and you had missed your boyfriend in the meantime. 

You walked into the unlocked house, and tramped your way upstairs before finding yourself in Lucas' room. He was on his phone and when the door swung open his attention was immediately yours. 

He frowned at the sight of you. “What's wrong?” he asked softly, ridding you of your bag and guiding you over to his bed. 

You lay in bed and toss his comforter over you. “Everything”

You felt the bed dip, and then Luca was speaking again. “Do you want to tell me about it?”

It was childish, but you huffed anyway. “My friends are fighting, and they won't hang out until I decide who’s in the right. I'm tired all the time. And the bookstore messed up my order and are taking too long to refund me” 

When Luca doesn’t immediately respond you contine, “and I need to have that one specific book they don't have in stock read by next week. Like what the fuck? The prof is strict on what version you need to read too so it's not like I can get it off amazon because it has to be the bookstore version!” you groan, hiding your face in Lucas’ bedding. 

He places a hand on your blanket covered back, rubbing soothingly as he thinks of something to say. “Do you want to get out of here?”

You perk up at his words, “what?” “Let's go. You and me, improvised date,”

“Luca…” 

“No, this will help alleviate your stress! Let’s go,” Luca smiled, pulling you out of his bed and then pocketing his wallet and keys. 

At first, Luca takes you out for dinner. Which is much needed considering how impossibly bad the meal hall food is. 

After dinner, you do a little retail shopping, and then a little walk around campus. The fresh air is starting to work its wonders when Luca starts talking. 

“I can go to the bookstore with you tomorrow to help you sort out the refund thing,” he says, but it comes out more of a question.

“Thank you,” you respond, squeezing his hand as you continue walking. 

“And about your friends, I can also help you figure out a plan. It's not fair that they’re making you choose sides” he continues, reciprocating your hand squeeze. 

You hum in response as Luca leads you back to his car. “Can I stay the night at yours?” you ask. 

Luca enthusiastically says that you can stay over, and the two of you find your way back to his place. 

When you walk into his bedroom there is a bouquet of assorted flowers waiting for you. “Luca…” “I had them delivered when you went to the bathroom earlier,” he confesses and shrugs his shoulders like it was nothing.

His gesture makes you grin ear to ear, and when he hands you the bouquet you feel like melting. How was it that Luca understood you so perfectly? It wasn’t necessarily about the gifts, or dinner either. You tended to overreact in situations therefore him taking the time to hang out with you and distract you from your stresses meant the world. Also, him wanting to help you navigate your stressors? He was so sweet.

“Thank you,” you whisper, setting the bouquet down onto his desk so you could properly kiss him. 

“You don't have to thank me,” Luca says between kisses. 

You don’t protest, knowing that whatever you say Luca would rebuttal. Instead, you let him guide you into his bed so that the two of you could cuddle. It was things like this that made all your worries melt away.

[elleloquently]

invisible string [5] : ellie williams

part four

| college!ellie x female!reader - thank you once again for being patient! comments are highly appreciated, as are reblogs <3 hearing from you all gets me so excited to write more for this little series!!

| c/w - anxiety

the sunlight woke you up in the morning, rays peeking in from your dorm window until your entire room looked vibrant and bright. it was an optimistic start. you weren't exactly a morning person, no matter how hard you tried, but the promise of seeing ellie was enough to make you spring up in bed, tossing the covers messily around your feet. 

you felt around for your phone, lost somewhere within the blankets. it was a nasty habit you developed only after getting ellie's number, falling asleep with your phone tangled in your bedding instead of putting it up and away for the night.

you quickly pulled it free, delighted to be greeted with a message from your new favorite person about confirming your plans for the day.

new favorite person.

you let your phone drop in your lap. it was hard to keep reminding yourself not to get ahead of things... but ellie made it hard. she stuck around, essentially went out of her way to speak to you and even make plans. it could be easy to dismiss everything, to let your anxiety take control once again and convince yourself that it meant nothing, that you're reading into things and making things up and practically daydreaming about ellie actually caring about you...

but she really did, didn't she? she had basically admitted it the night before, unless you really were reading into it...?

her quiet confession still rang true in your ears.

'honestly i was getting ready to leave before i saw you.'

ellie stuck around. for you.

it had to mean something. whether it be a friendship, or... she cared about you, in some way, and you weren't going to push that aside simply because you were sure that it was too good to be true. the semester would end soon anyway, would you keep this up during winter break, throughout next semester? one thing was for certain, you weren't going to miss out on getting to know her more, getting to spend time with her. it was dumb luck, a class crush turned into something more and you would leap at the chance.

nerves ate away at you after leaving bed and getting ready, prepping to see ellie at 12:30 like you had agreed. she was even going to meet you at your dorm. it was polite but felt so formal, you were glad to have the study guide as a somewhat buffer for your nerves. even though it obviously wasn't your first meet up, if you were judged solely on your level of nervousness, anyone could be mistaken. ellie was a comforting presence to be around, but yet she was so intimidating. you honestly just wanted to drink her up, learning anything and everything you could about the girl.

you were zipping your bag when a soft chime rang through the air, your phone's notification breaking through the silence and your train of thought. it was a declaration of arrival and ellie was there, waiting for you outside of your building.

you immediately booked it into high gear, sparing only one last fleeting moment to glance in the mirror, making sure everything was exactly how you had wanted. after feeling like such a mess the previous night, you wanted to be easy-going and light hearted today, especially to continue to make a good impression.

nearly racing down the stairs, (the elevator always took far too long,) you made it to the ground level in record time. despite the misleading sunshine it was still miserably cold outside, and you didn't want ellie waiting for you long in the wind.

she was easy to spot once you were outside. ellie was just a few feet away from the main entrance, hands shoved in her pockets with a lopsided grin on her face upon seeing you.

"hey," ellie called, watching as you walked over to her. you grinned. the sound of her voice directed towards you was simply too much.

"i don't feel like studying today," you responded as a greeting. it was honest but joke-y, good to break the ice. not that the ice necessarily needed breaking, again, but perhaps just a little thawed. being anxious usually made things like that.

ellie snorted at your remark, shaking her head. "then we're off to a great start."

after the events of the previous night, you were grateful to have something to talk about that didn't revolve around schoolwork. of course, you had normal conversations about your lives, hobbies and interests, but sometimes it was difficult to pull a conversation topic out of thin air, especially with something as fresh as this thing with ellie.

regardless, you debriefed, discussing last night's most hilarious and dreadful moments while you walked alongside each other. ellie's laugh was a symphony and you revealed in it, playing up a bit if she found it especially funny. you were quick to find your footing today, maybe because you had seen her and hung out with her outside of campus and for some reason now it felt more real.

bumping shoulders occasionally while you walked, you opted to return to the dining hall that you previously hung out at. (ellie had referred to it as “our place” and even though you had only gone once before, your voice caught in your throat.)

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

the dining hall was crowded.

any confidence you had built up while getting ready and walking to your destination was quickly squished away. you sat now, red in the face and humbled as you toyed with a straw wrapper. ellie was hunched over her side of the table, focused on the study guide and trying to tune you in while tuning everybody else out.

you managed to score an empty table but it wasn’t ideal. at the table to your right, a group of guys were loudly debating something. to your left, girls with hoarse voices going over drama from some party.

you shrunk down lower in your seat, flicking the wrapper across the paper that was on the table in front of you. it was almost too loud to think, and you always avoided the dining hall if it was this unbearable. you attempted to steady your breathing but it happened louder than you expected, coming out like a sigh.

it was enough to draw ellie's attention, her eyebrows knitting together as her gaze slowly lifted to you.

"are you alright?" she questioned. you nodded, eyes wide. it was embarrassing. you didn't want her to feel like you were bored.

"we'll get it done, don't worry," ellie reassured you, which was sweet. she thought you were stressed about the study guide, (to be fair, you were, just not in that exact moment) so it was slightly relieving that you didn't appear to be as anxious as you felt.

"i know," you smiled because ellie was watching for your reaction. you debated for just a moment whether or not to indulge her, ellie's green eyes boring into your own. "it's just really loud," you admitted.

"and crowded," ellie added. this caused you to perk up, sitting up straighter.

"yeah," you enthused, happy your feelings weren't isolating. "i just don't really love it," you tried. treading lightly.

"this actually blows," ellie concluded. your smile grew into a grin, a contrast from your shared words but it was genuine.

"do you wanna go?" you questioned, happy to stay for ellie's sake but itching to leave, the cold would be better than another ten minutes where you currently were.

you seemed quite chipper but ellie faltered, her smile dropping noticeably after you had spoke.

"oh," you said automatically, quick to clarify. "we could go somewhere else."

you would've crossed your fingers if ellie wouldn't have seen. she recovered quickly and nodded. "we could go to mine."

your heart flipped.

ellie's tone was casual as she dropped her offer, but the tips of her ears were pink. maybe she was simply anxious like you, but suddenly reading too far into it felt like a game.

you grew eager quite quickly, to see how she liked to decorate and if she kept things tidy or couldn't help but have a few jackets thrown throughout the room.

nodding in agreement, accepting ellie's offer, she didn't hesitate to gather her things and stand up from the table. you followed suit, certainly in a trance.

the getaway was quick but the walk was slow, casual. neither of you were in a rush to hurry and arrive, finish the study guide, and say goodbye. you were genuinely hanging out, and you couldn't decide if you were more excited or more nervous. you peered over at ellie, who was breathing out on purpose, watching the cold swirl in the air. you wondered if she was nervous too, nervous about you seeing her room. it felt sort of intimate, but maybe only because you were prone to overthinking.

her building wasn't much different compared to yours, though you stuffed yourselves into the elevator, shoulder to shoulder so you didn't have to graze anyone else.

ellie felt awkward now, you could tell. she shuffled her a feet a little upon reaching her door, her first attempt at unlocking it failed by her fumbling hands. the action only made you feel more confident, determined to make her feel comfortable and not regret letting you into her space.

ellie held the door open with one hand, gesturing for you to step inside with the other hand after flicking on the light. you stepped in front of her, given her cue, and breathed out a sigh.

it was like getting a peek inside of her mind, viewing ellie's room. she watched you carefully with baited breath as you stepped around her room, taking it all in.

it was clean, but there was a hoodie thrown on the back of her chair. she had a couple of plants, comics, and posters too. they were band posters, and there was a solar system map above her bed. it caught your interest, and you threw an approving smile over your shoulder at ellie.

"you know those little glow in the dark stars that kids put on the walls and ceilings and stuff?" you asked her, feeling as though you had to speak quietly. everything was so still.

ellie nodded, glancing over you as you face towards her.

"i still have them," you admit.

ellie's gaze softens and she smiles in adoration. she doesn't speak, but her reaction is tender enough and you're satisfied. you look over the solar system once more before your eyes move to a different wall, one with a lot less open space. pictures and drawings are arranged, drawing your attention. you glance at ellie again, silently asking for permission, and she nods. you move closer to examine the pictures, but your eyes catch on one thing in particular.

it's a colorful post it note, the one with your doodle that you had signed. on her wall.

ellie had said that she was going to keep it, but you didn't expect her to put it up. hers were on your wall too of course, but it felt like a secret, harboring a crush with her drawings on your wall. this felt equal, and it made you feel brave.

"my drawing," you spoke, breaking the silence. you turned to look at ellie once more, waiting for her response. instead her face paled, almost as if she had been caught.

shit. was she embarrassed? you felt horrible for thinking it, but it made you feel better. equal. brave.

"i have yours on my wall too," you confessed. ellie's lips parted in surprise but she was so good at catching herself. her smile was crooked as a laugh escaped her lips. "no way," she remarked. flustered. proud. relieved.

"it's true," you played into it. "signed by the artist herself and everything. it's real valuable."

scoffing, ellie took a few steps closer so she stood just behind your shoulder as you turned back to peer at her wall some more.

"real funny," she grumbled, but you could hear the smile in her voice anyway.

she had some of her own drawings on the wall too, you could tell because it matched ellie's art style from her doodles.

"these are really good," you breathed, taking in every detail sketched by her pen.

"yeah?" ellie glanced at you sideways, watching you take in her artwork.

your heart seized, feeling lucky to have doodles done by ellie williams on your wall. you wanted even more. you wondered suddenly if any other girls had drawings done by ellie on their walls too, and you scrunched up your nose. it was a weird thought, and you forcibly shoved it away by moving on to the pictures.

some of the pictures looked recent, while others were obviously much older. the majority of the pictures featured her alongside other people. some were photobooth strips, with ellie making ridiculous faces at the camera. they looked old. other pictures were like that too, goofy faces and bunny ears with an older man and people who were most likely her friends. some of them were sweet, smiling photos and a few candids of small groups together.

it made your heart feel warm as you took them in, getting a peek at ellie's life while unveiling another layer. you felt soft for the girl and you wanted to hear stories, but you were weary of being invasive.

a lot of pictures featured dina and a guy, who you assumed to be jesse. they seemed to be a close trio, and you wanted to confirm it.

"that's dina," you pointed her out in one particular photo. ellie hummed, confirming. you only met her once, and it was pretty dark, but she was nice.

you pointed the guy out now, looking to ellie. "is that jesse?"

ellie nodded, giving you a small, encouraging smile.

you hoped that it was sweet, thoughtful that you had remembered the important people in her life. you moved your gaze back to the several photos that included the older man. they were younger in some of the pictures, both him and ellie victim to the bunny ears in seperate photos. there was a picture of them smiling at what looked to be a museum, with huge dinosaur bones behind them. they were both wearing silly hats and your lips lifted into a smile. in another, a much younger ellie was wearing an astronaut type of helmet, grinning wildly at the camera.

the recent photos were cute too. a lot were of them smiling together with varying backgrounds. in one picture you spotted a massive banner from your college, the one that was set up on move in day from freshman year. so many parents had pressed for photos, incoming students smiling through tears or grumbling about being embarrassed while posing. you stifled a laugh, leaning in closer.

ellie was stood in front of the banner, an awkward smile that looked more like a grimace was plastered on her face. she weakly held a thumbs up, while the man at her side was grinning proudly.

"ellie," you spoke. "is that joel?"

ellie smiled knowingly. "yeah. that's joel."

you grinned, pleased with your correct assumption. she had told you about him before, and now you could finally put a face to the name.

moving on from the pictures, you finally noticed a guitar nestled into the corner of the room by her desk.

"oh man," you sighed, rushing over to it. "ellie, it's so cool."

"joel gave it to me," ellie responded. "he actually taught me how to play," she explained.

you appreciated the tidbit, especially since before she had seemed shy at any mention of her playing the guitar.

"that's so cool," you said honestly.

ellie shrugged, modest, but still she smiled. she watched as you basically admired the things around her room, not wanting to pull you away but desperate to finish the study guide so that you could both focus on anything but that.

"alright," ellie began, posing the dreadful order. "let's finish this, shall we?"

sighing in resignation, you let your bag fall dramatically off of your shoulder and onto the floor, the thud softened by a rug as it landed next to your feet. "the sooner it's over, the better."

"no argument there," ellie uttered, plopping down onto her bed with a huff. you hesitated momentarily, considering sitting down in her desk chair but her words got to you first.

"you can sit up here," she mused, eyebrow raising at the look of panic that must've etched itself upon your face. ellie kicked off her converse, playfully rolling her eyes at your frozen state. it was your turn now to feel insecure. you shoved off your shoes, carefully setting them off to the side and placing your bag on her bed.

"sure?" you questioned, eyebrow raising. ellie nodded once and patted the bed. you sat across from her, cheeks noticeably heating up.

last night you had seen her off campus, and now you were on her bed. it was enough to make your head spin, but for now you had to focus.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

"and then he was like," you put on your most obnoxious guy voice, making it deep and stupid. "only one? you need more than that, blah blah blah."

ellie snorted, rifling through the assortment of snacks that had been dumped on the bed.

it took nearly two hours, but the study guide was out of sight, out of mind. you sat on ellie's bed, legs crossed.

"jesus dude," ellie muttered, sounded bewildered. "i still feel bad about scaring you though."

"please don't," you insisted. "you seriously saved me." your giggles teetered out and you glanced at ellie seriously. "and thank you for driving me back last night. things were obviously not going well for me, so," you played with the end fringe of a forest green throw blanket.

"anytime," ellie replied. her tone was lighthearted but the serious nature of your comment made her feel jittery, hands drumming on her thighs. you tensed, not wanting to be the reason for an awkward silence. ellie surprised you, however, when she swallowed hard and continued on.

"i thought you might've been out with like, your boyfriend, or someone."

you slowly met her eyes, heart pounding at her side comment. it was so unnecessary, and so obviously bait. it had to be, even if you were overthinking, because you had talked frequently and if you were dating someone it certainly would've come up by now.

you indulged her anyway, wiping your palms on your pants. "no boyfriend," you clarified, shaking your head.

it felt so stupid yet so important, the direction that the conversation was headed in.

"you could've been out with your boyfriend," you retorted, but the words sounded so idiotic leaving your mouth.

ellie snorted, genuinely caught off guard. "no boyfriend," she laughed scrunching her nose.

obviously, you thought.

ellie was amused, and you felt as though you were on the defense.

"whatever," you waved your hand, clearly embarrassed.

ellie laughed at you, but it wasn't mean. the sound was nice anyway, so you smiled, eyes crinkling. you felt lucky to be hanging out without the pressure of school hanging over your head. it meant that she actually wanted to spend time with you, not just for the sake of studying. you liked it like this, being able to just talk and get to know ellie. you liked having an excuse to look at her, too. she talked with her hands a lot, and you couldn't help but long for the feeling of her arm around your waist again, even if you felt guilty for thinking it.

"have you ever had a boyfriend?" ellie questioned suddenly. she wasn't good at pretending to sound casual and your stomach twisted.

wordlessly and trying to ignore how hard ellie was watching, you shrugged. "nothing serious," you tried to explain. "have you dated?" you asked back, purposefully leaving the statement vague.

"yeah," ellie clicked. "i've dated."

you tried not to allow your reaction to be evident on your face. of course she has. you felt honestly bitter, and even more irritated that she stayed vague as well.

the conversation lulled, panic settling in your emotions as you both grew quiet. you couldn't get a read on ellie, and you wondered if it was maybe because she didn't want you to. the idea taunted you, and you nearly wanted to take the plunge and ask her something that could change everything but maybe you didn't want to change anything, maybe you wanted to be content with being her friend and hanging out like this and helping each other study, maybe it was just better that way? you could try to convince yourself, but the nagging feeling would still eat away at you, what would happen if you could just confess-

"can i ask you a question?" you blurted out.

ellie sat forward, putting her elbows on her knees and resting her chin on top of her hands.

"why'd you sit next to me? in class? you always sat in the same spot and then... out of nowhere you just, why'd you do that?"

her eyebrows drew together as ellie contemplated which point to advance on first. you must've looked nervous because ellie's tone was teasing when she next spoke.

"actually, you sat next to me," she teased pointedly. "and you paid attention to where i sat every day?"

your face burned and you scrambled to back track, self conscious under her gaze.

"come on," you huffed. "everyone sat in the same seats all semester. i did sit next to you but you were sitting next to my seat!" you rambled, defending yourself.

"come on," ellie mocked, though she hesitated to meet your eyes. "iiiit's not a big deal," she breathed, drawing out the sound of the vowel.

you unwillingly retreated, but still wanted to pry for more. neither of you could commit. you would nearly knock down a wall and right when it was almost there, you gave up, never truly making any progress. still, you wondered if the territory was even worth recovering.

"ellie," you started again. "i'm glad you showed up for the study group that day, or, actually, that i showed up."

it was innocent enough, it didn't have to mean much but it could mean more if either of you wanted it too.

"yeah. me too," ellie responded quietly. she finally met your eyes again but you didn't shy away.

"ellie-"

she murmured your name in response, copying your tone. you faltered, too caught off guard to smoothly recover from it.

"you swear i didn't impose last night?" you asked.

'honestly i was getting ready to leave before i saw you.' the words stuck in your mind, and you were curious if she would say something similar now or go back on her word.

"swear," ellie said automatically. she didn't need to think about her answer, it was true and there was no denying it. her certainty had you feeling optimistic like the morning sun. you couldn't help but bring the conversation back to the previous evening, your skin burned under her touch and you yearned for it now, any confirmation that she could possibly feel the same way.

"i'm glad you were there last night too," you said, hoping you didn't sound too repetitive. you already expressed your gratitude a few minutes ago, but you needed something.

ellie smiled despite herself, your willingness to push forward impressing and amusing her.

"hey," ellie murmured. "i'm glad you were there too," she quietly admitted.

your pulse quickened at the sincerity and sighed. "i wish i would've talked to you earlier on in the semester... we could've been friends," you said wistfully.

"friends," ellie muttered, picking at her nail.

you squinted at her and she spoke up. "we are friends," she offered.

the confirmation was nice but something about her tone left you wanting. you were glad that she thought of you as a friend, but you still liked her.

"why'd you invite me to study with you? in the library?"

harmless, but you were definitely toeing the line of being annoying.

"you're very inquisitive," ellie mused. her tone was gentle but she moved her gaze to the ceiling. "we don't have to do this now."

do what? you wanted to ask, but you knew it was getting to be too much. you had your answer, after all. if it were a normal, casual situation, she could've given you an easy answer. but she didn't, so there must've been something there. you smiled down at your lap and ellie looked at you, wondering.

wanting the pressure off of herself, since you felt inspired to ask her so many questions, ellie decided to do the same.

"why'd you stay?" she pressed, taunting as she leaned closer to you.

you stiffened, looking at her from under your eyelashes. "what do you mean?"

"when i invited you to sit with me in the library," ellie clarified.

"oh," you said flatly. "to study. you needed help, didn't you?"

a look of confusion crossed ellie's face briefly before something clicked. whatever registered made her smile like she knew a secret, and she nodded. "uh huh," she breathed out.

you looked puzzled but ellie left it alone. unsatisfied, you decided to be more honest.

"plus... you just invited me, you know? you always looked cool and intimidating... i guess i wanted to, you know, get to know you?"

"what," ellie laughed, shaking her head in disbelief. "you're lying," she accuses.

"i am not!" you exclaim, gaping at her. you jokingly wack at her arm, but her reflexes are too quick and she catches your wrist in her hand.

you swallow hard, freezing at her touch. ellie's lips twitch and she slowly releases you, your arm flopping comically down on the bed.

"i'm not lying," you persist, nearly having to force yourself not to whisper. "honestly? i've wanted to talk to you for awhile." you feel sick at your confession, despite its innocence.

"why didn't you?"

"i don't know. scared?"

"scared of me?" ellie questions, sounding concerned.

"no," you quickly clarify. "not scared of you, just..." well, maybe you were a little scared of her. maybe you still were, judging by how quickly your heart was beating. your knees bumped against hers, but you didn't feel like you had to apologize. it was comfortable.

"well, you're talking to me now," ellie offered, glancing quickly at your legs once your knees touched.

"i know!"

"i'm glad you are," ellie spoke softly, carefully watching your reaction.

"yeah? me too," you reply, not overthinking the idea of conveying your feelings for once. there was so much that was still unsaid, but in way it was still revealing. you were happy even to just be there, sitting with ellie and talking with ellie and existing with ellie, and you were starting to feel pretty sure that she felt the same way.

[ part six ]

[chaosduckies]

Restoration (Chapter 8)

A bunch of scenes because why not? On another note, it is extremely hard to write a scene in winter when it’s the middle of April. I hope you enjoy anyhow! Because now I’m really getting into the plot.

Word Count: 5.9k

CW: Death, crying, vague thoughts of suicide, severe trauma, (anything else idk??)

8-Ryker

It was Thanksgiving break. The first official break from school until Christmas. Words could not describe how grateful I was for the week-long break. There was no reason to have so much work piled up a couple weeks before the end of first semester. 

I was laying in my bed on my phone. It was about to turn six, which meant I should probably get started on dinner, but I just couldn’t bring myself to climb out of bed. I was physically and mentally tired of keeping up with everyone and whatever plans they had with their friends, taking care of Isabelle and Angela since they were still little, and on top of that keep up with the chores around the house. 

I grabbed my phone off the charger, stretched out my arms and legs from laying down, and opened my door to get started on dinner. The living room was oddly quiet, with Dylan and Lucky playing a game. Isabelle playing a game with Angela on the carpet that consisted of a bunch of stuffed animals and blankets. I smiled to myself. 

“What do you guys feel like eating for dinner?” I leaned against the kitchen island, waiting for an answer. 

“Spaghetti!” Isabelle and Angela answered at the time, giggling at one another. I think I could do that. I don’t know if Lucky can though. It was the first weekend of the break and I’d probably need to go grocery shopping tomorrow anyways. 

I looked in Dylan’s direction, making them pause whatever they were playing together. He just shrugged his shoulders, “Whatever’s easier for you.” Always with the same response. 

“Ummm, I can go check what we have.” Lucky told me, getting Dylan to let him onto the floor. All I could do was wait now. Jasmine was staying over at her friends today and tomorrow. I just told her to text me if she goes anywhere far and if she needed anything. Weird, right? Usually the parent handles these kinds of things, but in the situation my siblings and I are in it’s literally impossible. 

Lucky came back, shaking his head, “We don’t have the things for spaghetti,” He laid down on the arm rest of the couch and grabbed his remote, “You should call Nathan to come over. He hasn’t been here in a while. Plus, he’s so much better at cooking than I am. Right, Angela?” 

“Yeah!” 

I bit the side of my cheek. I don’t know about that. Just asking Nathan to come over to cook and then ask him to leave? That was wrong. Plus, he told me before the break that he’ll be pretty busy. Or… texted me. Either way, I shouldn’t bother him. Maybe he actually has a meal with his family for Thanksgiving and they were all getting ready for it already. On the other hand, Lucky makes something else for him and Angela, Angela doesn’t eat, and then everything goes downhill from there. 

Looking at my phone, I picked it up, opening the messages app, and clicked on Nathan’s name. The last time he came here, Jasmine did kind of freak him out. I remember him not being able to leave anyone’s side if she was in the room. I wonder if he’d even want to come over after that. At school the next day he was a little nervous, but otherwise fine afterward, but I’m sure whatever Jasmine told him is still stuck in his mind. Ugh. This was such a bad idea. 

Ryker: I have a huge favor to ask you 

I waited for a response, watching Dylan and Lucky play a fighting game against one another. I had no idea who was winning, but I’m pretty sure it was Lucky. Actually… it was kind of weird how Lucky seemed to want Nathan around more often. Like, really weird. Especially when every time Nathan came, he would practically ditch him with me. I honestly don’t mind, I liked having Nathan come over, but still. I had wondered why, but I wasn’t going to ask. 

Nathan: Yeah?

Ryker: Do you mind coming over to help Lucky cook something? 

Ryker: You don’t have to 

Well, if he says no Lucky will have to make whatever he can and I’d have to break the news to Angela. If you didn’t know, four year olds can be a little hard to deal with sometimes. So, this might just turn out to be a very, very bad day. 

Nathan: Sure! 

Nathan: Anything specific?

I stared at his text, relief washing over me. Dylan let out a cheer from winning against Lucky. Wow. Perfect timing. I was just so grateful right now. Nathan was literally the greatest friend ever. Now I have to think of someway to thank him. That shouldn’t be too hard, right? 

Ryker: They wanted spaghetti

Ryker: And thank you  

Nathan: No problem :)

Ryker: I guess I’ll be at the bus stop in about twenty minutes? 

Nathan: Okay 

I stuffed my phone in my pocket, “Okay, I’ll be right back, just text me if something happens.” I told Dylan, who nodded his head. And with that, I walked out the door and into the cold air. 

———Nathan———

Winters in the city were bad. But not as bad as when we were still help captive. Now those days were terrible. Horrifying even. It was still freakishly cold here. Not something I enjoy. For several reasons really. One being that I already get cold really easily. Two, I just hated being cold and sick. And the most important reason being that it was during this kind of weather when my dad had died. Actually, in three days it’s officially been nine years since my dad died. November 24. A long time, right? 

It hurts. The memories. Not just of him but how they brutally murdered him in front of his own child. I shuddered at the sight pictured in my mind. Nope. Can’t think about that. Right now I should probably be getting ready to head over to the bus stop. I already had packed a tiny bag with the things I needed to cook. Weird enough, it was kind of a therapy for me at this point. To be cooking I mean. I guess that’s why my mom always gets worried when I’m baking for no reason. Because she knows. 

I sighed, giving my mom a quick text that I was heading over to Ryker’s for a little while. The last time I went, I thought everything was going great before Jasmine talked to me alone. everyone had left to go looking for something and it was just her and I. I was scared of course. We’ve never, ever talked before and from what I’ve gathered she’s really intimidating. 

Her exact words to me were: “If you hurt my brother in any way I will personally murder you.” and that was was it took for me to have an entire mental breakdown for nearly two weeks. I mean, who wouldn’t be scared if someone’s sibling threatened you like that? So, the week before the break, I might have been acting a little weird around Ryker, afraid that I might actually do something wrong or hurt him in any way, which I don’t really see how I could. 

Otherwise, I haven’t really been doing anything. I told Ryker that I would be busy during the break, but really I wasn’t. Only because I do actually have something to do on November 24, and I was already feeling the depression spikes as the day came closer and closer. As for Thanksgiving itself, my mom and I never do anything. Last year we were barely getting used to being in the mental hospital so we didn’t really do anything. This year she’s working so it’ll just be me. Nothing new. 

I made my way down the icy streets, the sun setting faster and faster. It was only getting colder, and I didn’t really have a winter jacket. Just some to wear in the classroom like when it’s freezing in there. So, yeah, I was basically freezing my face off. Not to mention that my mom told me it might snow later tonight since it was already under twenty degrees outside. I wasn’t used to cold weather. 

Once I made it to the bus stop, I snuggled up with my bag on the bench, trying to have some kind of warmth. Also because there were several people (giants) who were going back home from stores or getting off of work. The bus stop was actually used for both humans and giants. The human was a little ways from the huge one that was practically as tall as a skyscraper. Maybe taller. 

My hands were shaky from the cold, but it was only another five minutes before Ryker would come and hopefully I wouldn’t be as cold. Maybe. Hopefully. I don’t know what today has in store for me. All I knew was that I just wanted to wrap myself in a blanket with some hot chocolate and binge watch something on tv. 

Ryker came a few minutes later, smiling and giving a thanks before offering a hand. I threw the bag on first before struggling to get on. It was hard when the ground underneath you was starting to freeze over, but I figured it out after trying for a good minute. 

“You’re freezing.” Ryker told me, cupping his hand just a little. Sure, it was scary to have his fingers closer to me, but still, it was warm. How could I deny something that was practically calling me? 

  “That good?” He smiled, for some reason making sure I was comfortable. But I was not about to complain. I was desperate at this point. I nodded my head, bringing my knees closer to my chest to keep some of my body warmth with me. And yet another reason I hate winter. 

“Thanks again. Sorry for bothering you.” 

I continuously shook my head, hoping he would get the message that it was fine. Plus, I liked going over. Everyone was nice (Besides Jasmine I’m pretty sure she hates me) and never really tried to do anything too crazy with me. It was great. I’m not as afraid anymore, which was a miracle given I thought I could never trust anyone ever again, and I’ve actually made some friends. 

Ryker opened the door to his house, where we found them all watching a movie together. Everyone turned their heads as soon as the door closed behind Ryker. I jumped slightly, but relaxed after a while. Nothing to be afraid of. Dylan’s eyes landed on me, giving a smile and a two fingered wave. I waved back, but I doubt he could see it. 

I was set down on the ground, not entirely expecting to be in a tight hug the second I balanced myself. Lucky bursted out laughing, letting me go, “You are literally the best, Nathan.” I laughed with him, following Lucky into the room. 

——————

I didn’t eat anything. I wasn’t hungry. Of course Ryker tried to convince me to eat something, but I always answered no. Otherwise, dinner was okay. They had Lucky, Angela and I on the coffee table, which wasn’t really too big of a deal. I’m pretty sure Ryker and Dylan just didn’t want to handle any humans while they were eating, and hey, I was not about to say anything about it. There are just some things that will never leave my mind. 

After everyone ate, Dylan and Lucky started playing a game on the tv while Isabelle and Angela were playing hide and seek I’m pretty sure. I just hoped that no one would get hurt, but Ryker quickly reassured me that they would never harm one another. I just had to believe him. Most of his siblings are stuck together like glue. Which is a good thing. 

“It’s supposed to start snowing in a little bit.” Ryker announced, earning cheers from the other room where I was guessing Angela and Isabelle were. I was sitting on the arm rest of the couch by Ryker. I kind of wished that their house was a little warmer, because I was still annoyingly cold, but beggars can’t be choosers. I should have asked to grab a blanket. 

“Nice. Are we gonna go out?” Dylan asked, eyes glued to the screen. I had no idea who was winning, but I think it was him. 

“If you want to.” 

Ryker threw his phone on the other side of the couch, turning his head to the screen. I don’t want to go outside, but I’ll go if that makes things easier. I just don’t want to be in the snow. Reasons. Remember? 

It was about ten minutes later that it did actually start snowing. Angela and Isabelle were begging Ryker to let them outside, which he just laughed to and told them to get jackets on and to bring their hats. Dylan paused their game to go get on a jacket, and Ryker left to go help Isabelle. So I was alone in the living room while everyone was busy to go have some fun. I hated winter. In just three days. I reminded myself. 

What would happen? Would someone else be claimed victim? Something bad always happens during this time. I don’t know if it was just me. It probably was. Everyone else was smiling while I was crying in the corner. It’s how it was in the hospital. They all went outside if they could, and I stayed in my room, under the blankets and shove my face into my pillow to drown out my tears. I couldn’t do that now though. Not when so many people had their eyes on me. Not when a trip back to the hospital was a very viable option for me. I didn’t want to go back. Not because of something… traumatic that happened nine years ago. I should be over it, right? But I’m not. 

There goes one of my depression spells. Great. Just great. At a time like this? I sucked in a deep breath, calming myself down before anyone notices. This was embarrassing. 

Ryker came back into the room, eyes landing on me with an unsure look on his face. He walked up to me, holding a hand out. Was he not going to wear any gloves? He wouldn’t be cold? I stood up, keeping my balance on the soft surface underneath me and walking to climb onto his hand. 

“You don’t mind if I just keep you in my hand, right? I don’t want you to be freezing.” He asked. I shook my head, sitting down in the middle of his palm. That was actually what I preferred. I did not plan whatsoever to go into the snow anyways. 

Once everyone was outside, Ryker sat down on the stairs, cupping his hand and keeping me close. A little uneasy about it, but there was really no reason to be. It’s just instinct. And everything in me right now is saying to get the hell inside. But I wasn’t going to say that. Mostly because I don’t want to be alone.  

They were all screaming and laughing. It was snowing pretty hard too, already covering most of the frosted grass just after ten minutes. Other people were also sitting outside. Their kids playing around with the snow. I tried not to focus on that. Instead, I found myself scooting back slowly, almost to where I couldn’t see the heavy fall of the white flakes. 

My body was still freezing. It was so much colder than before. Was this how dad felt? The cold pricking at his skin I mean. 

“Nathan?” My thoughts were interrupted by a soft voice above me. I groaned, body shaking and stuffing my hands in my pockets to preserve some of my body heat. I shuddered a breath, trembling. It’s so cold… How could they even be having fun like this? I looked ahead, seeing Dylan helping Isabelle make a small snowman with both Angela and Lucky stuffed in his scarf. This was just another one of my depression spells. 

“Still cold?” Ryker asked me. I took a deep breath, “Y-Yeah…” It came out more like a quiet mumble, and I was surprised that he even heard me. Did he want to help them make a snowman? He probably did. I should just tell him to leave me inside. It would make things a million times easier for everyone. 

Ryker moved his hand a bit, making me worried about what he was trying to do, but he just kept it the same. I wondered why he was going through all this trouble just for me. There was really no point. There was only a couple more months until graduation and then we’d go our separate ways. That’s how it always goes. I’d be alone again, figuring out what to do with the rest of my life. That’s how my story goes. 

“Better?” 

I nodded my head, getting to a comfortable position and decided to just watch what they were all doing. Finishing up the head of the snowman. It was comfy even though I was kind of scared from being in someone’s hand. At least now that is. Currently I was just afraid of falling into the deep snow. I’m pretty sure if I fell I’d sink into it. Not something I would like to see or imagine. 

“You okay?” Ryker asked, softly smiling above me. There was no other response other than to nod. I couldn’t just say no. That wouldn’t do any good. But.. maybe if he notices that these next few days would be hard for me. Maybe. Just maybe. I doubt it though. I don’t plan on being here all of the time anyways. I couldn’t. 

Isabelle finished the snowman, grabbing some loose twigs for arms as they stepped back. It was still snowing, just not as much. Was dad watching me right now? Was he shocked just as much as I was? I never thought I’d ever be able to be around another giant for as long as I had lived, and here I am, sitting in one of their hands. Would he think I was crazy? Delusional? Psycho? Happy like my mom even? I would never know, but even I think I was crazy. 

Actually… why did I even trust Ryker? Or really anyone. They’re all so nice of course, but about four months ago I was so sure that every giant would only hurt me, and it almost became true with that lunch incident that felt like forever ago. So why did I trust these people with my life? In the back of my mind I keep thinking that this was all just a sick joke being played on me. But… I don’t think these people are lying about anything. They don’t have a reason to. And Ryker’s been nothing but patient, and kind, and… understanding. No one would go through all that trouble just to fool someone as gullible as me. 

I sighed, snuggling up closer to Ryker’s thumb and watching Isabelle throw snowballs at Dylan who was shielding Lucky and Angela from the crossfire. Was it scary being there? In the midst of everything? Having to trust someone at least fifty times your size to keep you safe? I sucked in a shaky breath, just watching. It wasn’t so bad really. 

———Ryker———

Today was November 24. Thanksgiving was here, and everything was a complete mess. I never learned how to make a turkey like the tradition, so usually I just made something that all of us had liked. Along with that, I had to make sure no one did anything too crazy while I was busy in the kitchen. Jasmine and Dylan were helping out cooking while I ordered something for Lucky and Angela. They both agreed on pizza (Because what else does a fourteen year-old and a four year-old want) so now I was busy with that. That part was mostly because Angela didn’t like when Lucky cooks something different. 

It was just pure chaos now. Everyone was running around the house, and at that point I had to ask Jasmine to keep an eye on Angela to make sure she didn’t wander off where we couldn’t find her. I wasn’t too worried about Lucky since he’s almost always with Dylan, plus he’s smart enough to stay off the floor when it’s something like this. 

I took out the lasagna, letting it cool down before making separate plates. Yeah, I know, super weird, but I can’t do anything better. I only know the basics thanks to my parents, and that was all I needed to know. 

There was a knock on the door, and I asked Dylan to open it. It was just the pizza. I washed whatever dishes I had and called everyone that dinner was ready. It’s days like this where I wished that my parents never left. I feel like I can never be like them even though I was the oldest. I mean, was I just supposed to let CPS split us all apart? I couldn’t do that. My siblings would never forgive me. I like to think that they’re all happy, but I doubt it. Sometimes I feel like I can’t do anything to help any of them. Like I’m doing this “parenting” thing all wrong. Of course I was. I was seventeen in my last year of high school taking care of five kids on my own while also juggling a job and trying to do fun things with them so we can forget about what happened a little over a year ago. There was no reason for one person to be doing all of this. 

It was snowing outside again. Not really surprising when you’ve lived here for your entire life. It was really nice though. I loved the cold. Weird, because most people don’t, but I do. I remember my parents freaking out when I would just be outside making a snowman in just a short sleeve and sweatpants when I was a kid. Of course it was so cold it burned, but I guess I kind of liked it? It was hard to explain. Or sometimes we’d stay inside and watch movies or play a game. I missed it really. 

“Ry.” Jasmine snapped her fingers in front of me to get my attention. I blinked a couple times before giving a clueless look. She groaned, “I asked if I could go shopping tomorrow, I have work the next three days so I just wanna go do something.”

“Oh, um, sure.” 

The tv was playing in the background, but I wasn’t paying attention. Come to think of it, I don’t think I was paying attention to anything. Dylan, Jasmine, and Lucky were all laughing about something. What were they laughing about again? Something about going back to school? I don’t even want to think about that right now. I needed a break anyways. Most of my classes love giving me piles and piles of work anyways. 

I sighed, pushing away my plate that I had barely eaten. The sun has already set, everyone was done eating, Angela asked Jasmine if she could go outside in the snow. She said yes, and so Isabelle followed. Dylan and Lucky were helping me wash the remaining dishes. Honestly I already felt so tired. It was only 8 p.m but my eyes threatened to close at any moment. 

“You okay, Ry?” Dylan asked, putting a plate up in the cabinet. 

“Yeah.” I replied, handing him another to dry. Lucky shook his head while continuously saying “no” over and over again. At some point Dylan grew tired of it and pressed the pad of his thumb into Lucky’s entire upper half of his body. 

“He’s not wrong. You’re always like this on holidays.” 

“I am?” I sighed, not really knowing how to get out of this one. These two have always been vigilant anyways. They would have noticed at some point. 

“Yeah.” 

“I don’t know. I just feel really tired today.”  

“That’s it?” 

“Mhm.” 

Dylan gave me a skeptical look before putting in another plate. He doesn’t believe me. I don’t think he ever will about these kinds of things. 

“Why don’t you call Nathan? You always seem happier around him.” 

I stopped only for a second, then continued to scrub off something on the pan I used. No. I won’t call him. Not this time. No matter how many times he’s actually made me feel better just by being here. I’ve noticed I was happier around him too, but it’s only short lived since he always goes back at the end of the day. Do I know why I was happier? Not really. I’ve thought of a few reasons. Because he’s the only friend I’ve made since middle school. He listens to me ramble on and on about the most useless information. Best of all he’s really nice. Doesn’t really seem like he’s tricking me either. Not that I think he could even if he wanted to. He was too sweet. 

“No.” I sighed. Cleaning out the sink and handing off the last dish. 

“Why not?” Dylan asked leaning against the counter. 

“Cause I’m tired. No point in calling if I’m just going to fall asleep,” I countered, drying my hands and heading to my room, “Make sure Isabelle and Angela are asleep by 10? Please?”  

Dylan nodded his head, I closed the door behind me and buried myself under the covers of my bed. I can’t keep on relying on Nathan to come fix every problem I have. He’s probably off dealing with whatever he’s doing right now anyways. But still, my hand reached for my phone, grabbing it and opening the messages app. I’m just gambling with myself at this point. If he answers in the next ten minutes I’ll ask to call, if he doesn’t, I’ll head to sleep. Either way it’s really a win-win. And here it goes. 

———Nathan———

I was laying on my bed, under the covers. No lights, no sounds, just nothing. I had cried earlier this morning when I visited his grave. My eyes were dry now. Red and puffy. I just sat curling in on myself while clutching the same teddy bear he gave me when I was still just a kid. It was childish, but if it’s all I have left of him then I’m taking advantage of that. 

Ironic, huh? How this holiday was supposed to bring family together. It was actually the opposite for me. Even though he didn’t actually die on this holiday, it’s just ironic how it happened this year. When we’re finally free and live like a “normal” family now. Was he watching me now? Sad and lonely in my bed? I hope he wasn’t. He’d scold me. 

My phone went off, but I didn’t feel like looking at it. It’s not like I wanted to be alone. Usually my mom would cheer me up by taking my mind off of it. Whether it was playing some makeshift game or just doing something I liked with me. What else was there to say? This year was the year I was completely alone. 

I sucked in a deep breath, picking up my phone with sore arms. I spent most of the day digging out the old flowers on his grave and replacing them with new ones. It was hard to do when a thin sheet of snow was covering most of the dirt and grass, but it was worth it to see the bright a beautiful colors. His favorites were lilacs. I remember mom telling me that. 

My eyes shot up when I saw who texted me. Ryker? I mean it was already night, so I doubt he was going to ask if I wanted to go over. But… I was kind of curious now. 

Ryker: Hey

Ryker: How was your day? 

Ryker: You’re probably doing something right now but I’d just thought I’d check what you were doing 

Sent five minutes ago. Why did he want to know what I was doing? It seemed weird to me, but maybe he was just bored. Did they celebrate? I hope they did. They seem to be happy with each other. 

Nathan: It was okay :) 

Nathan: And yours? 

Ryker: Chaotic

Nathan: Oh 

I wasn’t technically lying. My day was okay despite crying for most of it. 

Ryker: Yeahhh 

Ryker: Do you feel like calling? 

Ryker: You don’t have to of course 

I thought about it. It wouldn’t be that bad. Might keep my mind occupied.

  Nathan: Sure 

And so he called. 

“Hello?” His voice sounded tired and sad, like he just woke up or something. I couldn’t find my voice. It’s become rasp from sobbing anyways. It’d be embarrassing for it to sound like that over the phone. So hopefully it’ll get better in the morning. 

“Oh, right,” He sighed, “Sorry. I just felt like talking and usually you listen. You can just hang up if you don’t want to though.” He sounded nervous, but I didn’t want to hang up. Not only because it was the wrong thing to do, but because I always loved listening to what he was saying. No matter how irrelevant it was. It distracted my mind from everything wrong with me. And he seemed to like it when I did. 

Nathan: I’m listening 

I heard him let out a little chuckle before talking. I could hear at some points it sounded like he was going to cry, and some he sounded like he was so hurt, and sometimes he’d laugh. He changed the subject multiple times, but I kind of liked it. I just wished I could help in some other way. It sounded to me like he was stressed out and just wanted someone to be there, and I’m surprised none of his siblings were. Or maybe they were, but he just doesn’t want to put all of this on them. It seemed like something he would do. 

By the time he was done, it was an hour before midnight. Funny thing was, I wasn’t tired anymore. I was putting together pieces in my mind still about everything he had talked about. How he was mentally tired of juggling five things around at once. I would be too if I were him. How he’s been more and more exhausted by the end of the day. How his parents usually did all of these kinds of things. I was going to ask what happened to them, but I feel like that was a touchy subject. Especially when he just vented to me. I don’t mind though. Not at all. 

“Oh crap. Sorry for keeping you up.” Ryker apologized, saying sorry about five times before I texted him that it was okay. I wasn’t going to sleep anytime soon. 

“Thanks. Y’know. For listening.” I heard him yawn on the other side. He was the one tired. I silently laughed to myself, hugging the bear closer to my chest. If only he could see me now… this was embarrassing. He’d probably make fun of me for it. I wouldn’t care. 

“You’re too nice, you know that?” I heard shuffling on the other side of the phone. Probably Ryker getting ready to go to sleep. And I know this was selfish, but I didn’t want him to hang up. I didn’t want my mind to realize that I was alone again. Was is it really selfish then? To me, yes. It feels like I was making him do something he didn’t want to. 

“Hey, um, remember when you tried hugging me that one time? Why’d you do it?” He had asked, and I could practically see his face. Confused and happy at the same time. He was talking about when I had to stay overnight. I knew that would come up eventually, just not so soon. 

Nathan: Nobody’s ever been so nice to me before. Besides my mom of course 

Nathan: But I was kind of shocked you agreed without complaining 

Nathan: Are you mad about it?

“Mad? Nononono. Um, the complete opposite really,” He laughed quietly, “I was shocked, yeah, but happy too.” 

That gets rid of the guilt. I swear I thought I ruined everything between us, but now I know what he really thought. He wasn’t mad at me for anything. 

“What about the other day? When it was snowing. You looked comfortable. Like you were about to sleep.” My cheeks started blushing from embarrassment. I had hoped he didn’t see me snuggling closer into his palm to stay warm, but apparently he did. So embarrassing. I groaned quietly to myself, tightly hugging the bear closer. 

Nathan: Sorry 

Nathan: I was cold 

Nathan: You were warm 

Nathan: Sorry again 

It was silent for a second. 

“Why do you apologize for things like that?” 

I didn’t know the answer to that question. Usually my mind just takes over and then I spiral into the worst possible scenarios. So I have no idea why I do. Maybe because my brain thinks I’ll get hurt if I don’t? My body was scared of getting another broken bone or something getting hurt? 

Nathan: I don’t know 

It was silent again. 

“Do… do you like being around me? I-I mean most people stop talking to me as soon as they get what they want. So, I was just wondering.” His voice sounded hurt. Obviously this ha sharpened once or twice to him. And it hurt to hear that these things have happened to someone so amazing. I could never do that to Ryker. It’d hurt me more than it’d hurt him. 

“Y-yes.” I almost immediately replied, my voice a little raspy. It hurt to speak, but it was fine. It’ll get better in time. 

I heard him let out a sigh of relief, and I smiled. I was finally doing the right thing for once in my life. I’m kind of glad this was how the day ended. 

“I would give you a hug if you were here… and if you were comfortable enough with it,” We both laughed quietly, “I’ll let you go to sleep. I’ve kept you up long enough.” 

I shook my head, forgetting that he wasn’t here to see it. I didn’t want him to go. Then again he sounded exhausted. Then I would be the one keeping him up. Or he doesn’t even have to stay awake. Just the knowledge that I knew he was just on the other side of the phone was enough to make me feel like I wasn’t alone. 

“U-Um you d-don’t have to s-stay up b-but could we stay… stay on call? P-Please.” I waited for an answer, biting my tongue for stuttering so much. My body was shaky for no reason. I was nervous. He was going to say no. He was going to say no. He was going to- 

“I would love that.” 

I wish he could see the smile I had on my face. How fast my heart was beating. I laid down under the covers, getting comfortable and staring at my phone that read: Ryker: 3:14. Three hours and fourteen minutes. Another seven won’t hurt. 

“Thank you.” 

I fell asleep a couple minutes after he did. No nightmares haunted me tonight.

—————————————

My heart is meltinggggggg

By the way, this was not the great scene I was talking about. This was just one of many to make the one I actually want to write make sense.

Anywayssss I told you guys it would be a little plot heavy for a while! I loved how this chapter came out though.

Hope you enjoyed, and thank you for reading! Love you guys!

[woman-respecter]

Yo im super curious now who is that ex bestfriend that u mention on the taggs sometimes? Give us some ☕️

LMAO u have no idea how long i’ve been waiting for someone to ask me this. warning this is long and tells like. the entire story of our friendship which is probably more than u asked for haha

i’ll give the TL;DR here and the full story uner the cut

TL;DR: we were best friends for about 3 years, she found out i had feelings for her, and, though she promised she would stay friends with me, ended up completely abandoning me, refusing to ever speak to me again.

ok so exbestfriend (i’ll call her R) and i became friends in my very first class of freshman year of college. we really hit it off and had like completely compatible ADHD wavelengths. i wouldn’t say we were inseprable that year bc i had other friends we spent more time with but her and I, along with another girl from our class (who was kinda insane. i’ll call her G) would spend a lot of time together. sophmore year R and i got closer and started spending a lot more time together. she was kinda my best friend at that point but also didn’t go to the play that i starred in and worked really hard on which was a minor thing but something i still remember. second semester sophomore year we got a lot closer and spent a lot more time together, often without G. middle of the semester i realized i was in love with R (i remember the exact date actually. feb 28 2020.) but youse know how 2020 was, we got sent home for covid.

during the pandemic i took a gap year and R did zoom college but she and i stayed very close in touch, facetiming and texting all the time. we even sent *handwritted letters* to eachother which i still have. in fact she was the *only* person from college who kept in touch with me then. she usually seemed too busy but tried to make time for me. during this time i fell more in love with her.

first semester my junior, R’s senior year was mostly a really good time for me (until the end which we will get to.) we were finally able to see eachother in person after over a year. G wasn’t there to third wheel because she was studying abroad. and R and i became inseparable, even deciding to take a class together (economics, which i loved and R hated). we also became part of a larger friend group which was great for me because i never had that, but still were closer with eachother than the rest of the group. we spent as much time together as possible and saw eachother almost every day. i will admit i was a little to clingy to her at times but she didn’t seem to mind. during this time she was very affectionate and caring towards me. she even did little things that made me think she may have returned my feelings like holding my hand. the other girls in our friend group seemed to believe that R may have liked me as well.

and here’s the part you’ve all been waiting for IF YOU ARE HERE FOR THE BREAKUP START READING HERE: for hanukkah i knitted her a pair of mittens, which i gave her along with a letter borderline confessing my feelings to her. after reading the letter she called me, told me she didn’t return my feelings and that in fact she now felt uncomfortable with me hugging her or telling her i loved her (as a friend) but said she would still would remain friends with me no matter what. the next day we had a convo over text where she said some pretty hurtful things which caused me to kind of act out the next time i saw her at a get together with the rest of our friends. the last time i saw her in person that semester (or, spoiler alert, ever) was when i had to beg her to drive me to the airport to go home for the semester because i could not get an uber but she only did so begrudingly (even tho before my confession of love she had planned to take me to the airport that day)

during winter break i tried reaching out to her to talk things out but she said we didn’t need to. i tried to text her about the game we both played (genshin impact haha) but she would never respond. when we got back to school i kept trying to get her to hang out with our friend group but she always said she had something going on or straight up not responding. she didn’t text me on my birthday either. eventually at the end of february, i think my other friend (who is currently my only remaining friend from that group fun fact) contacted her and told R how bad i was doing because of her absence (oh yeah i forgot to mention, i became suicidally depressed from R’s absence) so R called me and while we argued about a bunch of stuff and she was somewhat homophobic towards me (she said she was more comfortable being friends with G because G was straight) she eventually told me that yes we could be friends again she just needed more time. which i guess i was ok with but it did not stop me from being suicidally depressed.

a month later i reach out to R like hey i really miss being friends could you let me know when you want to be friends again. a WEEK after me sending that text she responds and tells me she doesn’t want to be friends ever again and says some more hurtful shit. that’s the last i’ve heard from her. i almost offed myself at this.

rest of that semester goes badly, my depression gets worse and worse to the point that i lose the rest of my friends except for one (who happens to share a name with R, a sick coincidence) because they can’t deal with it. also R blocks me on instagram and genshin impact.

my depression is a bit better now, it was super treatment resistant so i changed meds a few times. but i’m still not fully recovered from this and i never will be. all i want in life is to have her back. there is an R shaped hole in me that will never and can never be filled. i’m not sure if i’m capable of ever loving again.

so yeahhh thats it. if u read this whole thing ur insane but i love u 💖

[supercap2319]

Baby It’s Cold Outside Chapter 2

A/N: Warning: Mention of child abuse. Abuse. Running away. This is depressing as fudge, I promise next chapter will be happier.

Tyler nervously watched the time on his phone change from 11:59 pm to 12:00 am. It’s midnight and his father still isn’t home yet. The young man had been pacing around the room in a nervous anticipation ever since his conversation with Y/N at the Weathervane earlier today. After his shift at work, he waited antsy for his father to come home in hopes that he could ask him for permission to spend Christmas with Y/N.

Hopefully, he said yes.

The sound of keys jingling and the front door opening up jolted Tyler out of his thoughts as he watched his dad come into the living room, still dressed in his sheriff’s uniform. His tired eyes cast a glance over at Tyler as he turned fully towards his son. “Looking for something?”

Tyler shook his head no.

“Shouldn’t you be in bed already?” Sheriff Galpin asked. He sat down in a chair and began to remove his boots. Tyler watched him pull his feet free of them before putting them on the side of the chair. “I-I couldn’t sleep. Plus, there’s something that I need to ask you.”

That got the Sheriff's attention as he looked at his son with inquisitive eyes. Eyebrows raised. “Oh, and what might that be?”

“Can I go to Y/N Munster’s house for Christmas? He invited me to go.”

“Munster invited you?” The sheriff asks.

Tyler nodded his head.

The sheriff is silent for a second, looking at Tyler. Looking him up and down and Tyler has to fight the urge to look away from him, or look down. Finally, Tyler’s dad gave him his answer, and it makes his heart sink faster than the Titanic. “No. No, I don’t want you to go with that boy. He’s a menace, and I don’t trust him or his family.”

“But dad it’s only for a few days and I’ll be back in no–”

“–What part of ‘no,’ don’t you understand, boy?” The sheriff glares up at his son as the youngest Galpin falls silent. His father’s tone was any indication that this conversation was over. No more arguing or bargaining. Tyler wasn’t going anywhere, and that was final.

Tyler nods his head in defeat as he tries not to cry in front of his dad. Cry would only make the situation worse for himself if he did. So, he sucks it up until he’s safely inside the confines of his room to cry in peace. “Yes, sir. Sorry, dad. You're right.”

Sheriff Galpin nods his head. “Good. Now, go to bed because you still have semester tests tomorrow before winter break.”

Tyler nods once again as he leaves the living room, and up the stairs towards his room as he goes inside, shuts and locks the door before the tears fall down his face. He should have seen this coming. His father was the walking personification of a macho, straight male guy. Of course, he wouldn’t want his son going to an outcast's house for Christmas. Tyler was so stupid to believe that he would say yes. He should have expected the disappointment.

He sat down on his bed and looked up at the ceiling as he cried. His dad never used to be like this. So cold. Mean. Abusive. It started after his mom passed away when he was 6. And now sheriff Galpin was always on his son’s case about everything. And the worst part of it all was that Tyler hadn't told him about Y/N. That they were dating. He wouldn’t be disappointed in him, no, he would be fucking disgusted and beat him black and blue until the homosexual came out of him. Which is why Tyler hasn’t told Y/N that he hasn’t told his dad about them. He didn’t want to put Y/N through all that, but none of that mattered because he wasn’t going to be able to spend Christmas with his boyfriend.

Tyler looked at his phone and debated in his head on whether to text Y/N the bad news. Tell him that his dad has forbidden him from going anywhere with him. He could picture his boyfriend’s face, sad and full of tears, and it was enough to make Tyler cry once again, but he couldn’t. Not now. Not ever again. Maybe it was the Hyde side of him taking over, but in the recesses of his mind, a plan started to form. A plan that would change everything for him. His life. His relationship with his father. All of him. Was he prepared to accept the consequences?

Tyler got up from his bed as he began packing his things. Throwing clothes, shoes, personal items inside a giant duffel bag. He realized that his Hyde side might be pushing him, but ultimately this was his decision. He was conscious even to know what this would mean, and that there was no turning back once he chose to go down this road. And to be honest? Tyler couldn’t care less. He was running away from the town of Jericho. From his abusive dad. All of it.

….

The next day, Tyler kept spacing out, staring at nothing. He wasn’t paying attention during his classes, and he almost failed his semester tests, catching the worried eyes of his teachers. The thought of his father easily finding out about his little plan to run away. Catching him and punishing him. It made him shiver more than the cold weather was supposed to. He shakes his head, as if that act would instantly clear his head. That’s when he focuses on his task at hand, finishing his tests so he can leave school, pick up Y/N, and go. Once he’s finished each and everyone one of said tests, he leaves the classroom thinking he’s done his best. Probably not an A+ material, but good enough to pass for the semester.

Tyler holds tightly on his backpack straps as he passes by Lucas Walker. The son of the former mayor and sheriff as he nods to Tyler in understanding. This morning before school, Tyler offered Lucas a deal. If he would say that Tyler’s staying at his house for a few days, the Galpin boy would pay him fifty dollars to keep quiet. By then Tyler will have come up with a better plan by Christmas, he hoped. Lucas’s friends eyed him suspiciously as they still resented him for hanging and being friendly to the outcasts at Nevermore. Thankfully, not knowing of his Hyde side and all the terrible things he did, because they would hate him even more than they already did.

The young halfbreed pushed through the doors of the school as the frigid air of December blew through his clothes as he walked towards his truck.

“So, you and Tyler are both coming home for Christmas?”

Y/N could practically hear the smile in his mother’s voice as she said that. He chuckles. “Yeah, Ma. Tyler and I are coming home for Christmas. Tyler’s picking me up at 1:00 pm after he gets done with his semester test and we’ll head that way.”

“Well, your father and I can’t wait to meet him. Neither can grandpa Marilyn and Eddie.”

“Did you say that the whole family was coming from the old country?” Y/N asked as he pushed the last of his clothes into his duffel bag.

“Yes, dear. All your uncles are coming home for the holidays.”

“Well, I can wait to see you guys and everyone else, but I’ve got to go.”

“Okay, honey. See you soon.”

“Bye, Ma.” Y/N hangs up the phone as he makes sure he is everything ready before Tyler gets here. Nevermore was almost empty. Almost everyone had left this morning. His cousin Wednesday and Thing had left when his Uncle Gomez and Aunt Morticia came to pick up their daughter. Enid’s parents had come to get her. Bianca’s mom came to get her. Then Ajax had left with his older brother. Then a black, sleek car pulled up to the front of the school, as Xavier got in and winked at Y/N as he left for home as well. That left Y/N and a couple of other students who were still waiting for their rides and staff members.

About 15 minutes later, Y/N gets a text from Tyler that he’s on his way.

The young Munster smiled as he got his duffel bag, his backpack, and bundled up for the cold as he walked out of his dorm room, down the stairs and out to the front, waiting for his boyfriend to come pick him up. When he saw the red of Tyler’s pickup truck, Y/N smiled widely.

It pulled up right in front of him as the windows of the passenger side rolled down and Tyler’s boyish face could be seen. “Hey, baby.”

Y/N’s heart skips a beat at the nickname as a blush chases its way onto his face as Tyler comes from the driver side and pulls Y/N close into a kiss as red colored both their cheeks. From the kiss and the cold. Tyler pulled away, his blue eyes shining and a teasing smile on his handsome face. Y/N noticed the way light snow fell on Tyler’s golden brown locks and he had to resist the urge to run his fingers through them.

“You all set?”

Tyler’s voice brought Y/N back to reality. “Yeah, all set. Just this duffel bag and backpack and I’m good.” He showed the other boy his contents as he grabbed them from his hands and put them gently in the bed of his truck as he came back and laced his fingers with Y/N’s, pulling him towards the open passenger door. Tyler then puts a hand on the small of Y/N’s back, and the curly-haired barista pushed him into the passenger seat and closed the door as he came around to the driver side and got inside as he smiled. “Alright, next stop, New Jersey?”

“Yeah. I have the directions on my phone.” Y/N messes with his device for a few minutes before the navigation system comes on. It’s about a seven hour drive if they don’t stop too much.

“Great. And I’ve got a phone charger here for our phones and I’ve got chips and soda here, but if you get hungry we can stop somewhere later if you want?” Tyler asked him.

“Sounds perfect. I can’t wait for my whole family to meet you. I’m so excited.” Y/N is practically jumping in his seat with excitement as Tyler chuckles at his boyfriend’s amusement.

“And your dad was okay with you spending Christmas with my family?”

Tyler knew this question would pop up sooner or later, but he was still shocked when he heard Y/N ask it. He had prepared a whole speech for Y/N last night about how his dad didn’t give him permission at all to come with him, and oh, there was that small little detail of him running away from home. No biggie. Instead of telling him the truth; Tyler slipped into his other half. The half of him that lied to Y/N the first time when he had been accused of being the Hyde by Wednesday. The part of himself that almost ruined things between them. And now here he was, jeopardizing that very same relationship again, thanks to his lies. He just hopes that Y/N will understand and won’t hate him for lying to him again.

Tyler then put the truck in drive as he and Y/N drove away from Nevermore as it got smaller and smaller in the background as they drove through Jericho as Tyler’s heart spiked as they passed the Now leaving Jericho sign. Any minute now, his dad’s police car would show up behind them in the rear-view mirror. Tyler would be in so much trouble. His dad would probably beat him so badly that he wouldn’t dream about running away ever again and he would forbid the barista from associating with Y/N ever again. But it didn’t matter because Y/N would hate him when he found out about Tyler’s lies and deceptions. The same old tricks. Looks like Hydes couldn’t be trusted no matter how many chances you gave them.

Tyler’s heart didn’t stop hammering until they drove past Burlington and towards New Jersey.

.

[hummingbird-of-light]

In Our Favor

Part 327

McCoy

McCoy crossed campus towards the simulator building. Part of the building was still closed for repairs from the fire, most simulator classes had transitioned to classes on real shuttles, in the hangar bay, continuing to learn the more in depth functions.

But not this day.

The prince only had a few final exams left, but the one he was heading towards had his chest tightening with worry.

The weeks since the fire had been much easier on McCoy’s fear of flying; they hadn’t practiced in the simulators. Today they would be in one of the few still open halls, taking their final exam.

For a moment as he entered the building he could swear he smelled a whiff of smoke. Looking around, McCoy knew it was all in his head and continued down to his exam.

“It’s strange to be in here,” McCoy said quietly to Uhura as they waited for Lt. Flores to send them into the simulators.

“I don’t want to imagine what it must have been like in the rooms where the fire was.” Uhura shuddered.

McCoy nodded in agreement. “There’s Jaylah. Wonder what kept her.”

Jaylah hurried over to the other two just as Flores began to speak.

“This will be just like our other exams,” the instructor said. “Everyone’s flight will be different, so don’t expect what the first person does will be what you will get.”

McCoy balled his hands up to stop the trembling he could feel starting. He could do this. He had passed their other tests well enough. Their time in the real shuttles had helped.

He followed behind Uhura and Jaylah as they entered the simulator.

“Do you want to go first?” Uhura turned back and asked gently.

Did he? Would it be easier to get it over with and be done? Or would it benefit him to watch her test first and have more time to prepare himself mentally?

“Second,” McCoy answered firmly, and sat down behind Jaylah.

Uhura hesitated, looking at him for a moment, then sat down in the pilot’s seat. McCoy took a deep breath as Uhura began.

The prince settled into the pilot’s seat with a shaky breath. Uhura’s test program had not seemed very challenging. McCoy prayed his wouldn’t be either.

As his hands moved across the controls to start the shuttle he pictured Scotty behind him, whispering encouragement. His fingers remembered where to go, even after a couple weeks break. He drew another deep breath as the shuttle lifted off. A few obstacles to avoid, a few landings and take offs and he could be done. McCoy breathed slowly and filled his mind with thoughts of going to the stars with his husband.

Uhura and Jaylah walked with him to lunch. For once he could be certain he had passed, by how much he wasn't sure. But, no one would have exams results until the next day, for any of their classes. And he still had one more exam in the afternoon with Eugene.

“I thought that would be harder,” Jaylah said.

“Maybe he took pity on us because of what happened,” Uhura said thoughtfully.

“Maybe.”

“You did well,” Uhura looked at McCoy.

“I tried,” he shrugged. “Guess we’ll see tomorrow.”

“I’m more worried about my other classes,” Jaylah said anxiously. “But it will be nice to have a break.”

McCoy and Uhura both agreed quickly about that. The next evening he and Scotty would be heading to Aberdeen. They’d spend the weekend in Scotland, then on Monday would head to Georgiares with Francine and Granddad. A few weeks to relax with their families and their first semester of Starfleet behind them; McCoy couldn’t wait.

Part 328

Scotty

"We've finally made it!" The friends hugged each other jubilantly. They had all just received their final exam results and were now saying goodbye to each other to head off on vacation. They would all be flying home to their families to spend a few relaxing weeks at home. There was only one person who didn't.

Jim. He would be flying to Vulcan with Spock and his parents to spend the semester break there. At first he had said that he would definitely miss a winter without snow, but the fact that he could spend the weeks together with Spock seemed to make up for it. At least he didn't seem to be moping during the farewell.

"Say hello to Francine and Granddad for me, will ya?" the blond said as he hugged Scotty, who nodded.

"Aye, I will."

The Scotsman knew that his friend would have liked to come with them to Scotland and Georgiares, but getting to know Vulcan properly was very important to Jim. He wanted to make a good impression on Sarek and Amanda.

"And call us at Christmas. I know Vulcans find these holidays illogical, but Spock and I look forward to hear from you."

Even Spock nodded in agreement.

"We will. I promise," Leonard replied with a smile.

Scotty turned to Aporal, who was just saying goodbye to Keenser, Chekov and Sulu.

"Are ye flying home too?"

The Andorian nodded.

"At first I thought about staying here, but the last visit to my parents showed me that we can get along. Maybe now we'll have time to talk properly."

A smile crossed Scotty's lips. A while ago, he would never have dreamed that Aporal would ever be able to maintain good contact with his family again. It was good to hear that he wanted to take this step.

"That sounds good. I hope ye have a good time."

Even Aporal seemed to smile softly as he shrugged his shoulders.

"Maybe. We'll see. Thanks, Scottish boy."

Scotty couldn't help but grin as Aporal walked over to Jaylah after their goodbyes. They exchanged a hug and didn't even seem to be trying to keep it a secret from the rest of the group. Whatever it was between them, it obviously did them both good. And Scotty really hoped that it would help Aporal become a more relaxed and happy person after everything he had been through.

Leonard closed his eyes and sighed as Scotty and he finally leaned back in their seats in the shuttle.

"I can't wait to finally arrive in Scotland and enjoy Francine's great food. Canteen food just isn't the same as a good home-cooked meal."

Scotty smiled as he grabbed Leonard's hand to hold onto as they took off.

"Aye. Mum's food is simply the best. And I'm very sure she's already prepared quite a lot for our arrival."

Leonard grunted with a laugh.

"I'm sure she has."

Scotty was very surprised when the flight took off and Leonard barely flinched or made a face. Even the Scotsman's hand was not crushed.

"Hey, ye're really relaxed, mo ghràdh."

The prince just smiled at his husband.

"When you've flown a shuttle yourself as often as I have in the simulator, it's much easier to stay relaxed when you know a professional is at the controls. If I can even manage it, then surely nothing can go wrong."

Scotty's heart leapt with joy when he heard those words. Never would he have believed for Leonard to be able to be calm during a flight one day.

The Scotsman leaned over and pressed a kiss onto his love's lips.

"Well then... let's get some sleep before we arrive."

[soleilceirinen]

Renaissance | teacher!Cillian Murphy x fem!Reader - Part 12

Summary: you are an Art History student in your last year at university. Cillian is your teacher. A/N: in this story Cillian is about 20 years older than the reader. Everything happens in an alternative universe where he is not an actor or famous, he doesn't have a wife or kids like in real life. Also, English is not my first language, so sorry for any mistake! MASTERLIST - Part 11 - Part 13

You were one of those people whose mood was affected by the weather. And winter had finally arrived. The days were considerably shorter, with fewer hours of daylight and bone-deep cold. This morning when you woke up, you couldn't help but feel especially sad. Today was your birthday and you felt lonelier than ever in the last months. At least it was Friday and the week was almost over.  

At that moment you were sitting in class, at your usual spot by the window. In addition to being bored as hell, you were freezing. 

Your teacher was a very old man who spoke so monotonously that if you closed your eyes you could fall asleep. In fact, he was already retired but decided to return to the university to replace a sick professor. His methodology for teaching classes consisted of showing photographs of architecture taken by himself (forty years ago), while pointing with the cursor and saying: "this is that and that is this. Do you see it?"

You looked around, only to find about ten people spread throughout the classroom. They all had the same bored faces.

At this point in the semester, almost no one attended class, people preferred to stay home or go to the library to study for exams, or sleeping. That was what you wanted to do, go back to your small home where your bed was waiting for you and hide under the covers until the next day. 

No one had wished you a happy birthday yet. 

To make things worse, Cillian was gone. He had been away all week because he was invited to speak at a symposium in a different city; he would not return until Saturday morning. So you hadn’t seen him all week because all his classes had been cancelled as well as your tutoring sessions.

Once your teacher finished the lecture you picked up all your things and headed home without wasting time. At least you were close. After eating the first thing you found in the refrigerator, you resigned yourself to going out again even though you didn't feel like doing it at all. 

Just before you grabbed the keys to leave, your phone buzzed. You checked it out of habit, just to see that Olivia had written you a long message wishing you a happy birthday along with a gif of puppies. You couldn’t help but smile at her effusiveness.

-

Maureen and Laura weren't there either. 

That week the gallery was participating in an art fair so they left, leaving you in charge. Usually, with such small art galleries, having to go to a fair meant closing for several days but since you were there, at least they wouldn't stay closed for so long. Being left in charge made you feel mature, you could almost imagine yourself in a few years having your own art business. Although in reality, you weren't entirely sure of what direction to take with your professional career since research also caught your attention.

Only a couple of clients came in to pick up works they had purchased, and a few groups of fine arts students. They always used to walk through the gallery as if it were a museum but they never bought anything. 

A couple of hours before closing Maureen called you to see how the afternoon was going, after wishing you a happy birthday, she told you that you could close early and go celebrate. You thanked her, although you wouldn't go anywhere this year. 

After waiting for half an hour, you came to the conclusion that no one else was going to enter the gallery, so you followed Maureen’s suggestion and closed it. Instead of going directly home, you decided to stop at the grocery store and buy something pre-cooked for dinner. You didn’t feel like cooking after all. 

-

Once in your studio, you lit some candles to make the atmosphere a little cosier in an attempt to feel like home. You breathed in the scent, it was your favourite smell. Then, you put on your pyjamas and heated up the food, sitting on the couch ready to watch a movie. Outside it had started raining, as a perfect reflection of your current mood. 

Halfway into the movie your phone started ringing. You looked at the screen lazily only to find out that Cillian was calling. You picked up and brought the device closer to your ear.

“Hey”, you greeted him. 

“How is my birthday girl? How was your day?” His voice caused a wave of warmth to spread through your chest. 

“Fine”, you told him weakly, which he noticed.

“Are you alright, Y/N?” 

You sighed, trying to keep the tears at bay. “Yes, it’s been a tough week, that’s all. And today wasn’t much better.” 

He seemed to think for a few seconds in which he remained silent. When he talked again, his voice was softer. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

Shooking your head, you let out a sight. “No, I don’t feel like talking about it. Thank you though, Cillian.”

He hummed in response, understanding that you weren’t in a good mood. In an attempt to lighten up your spirits, Cillian started talking about his week, the conferences he took part of, he told you of the interesting ones thinking that you would have enjoyed them and the boring ones too. He even managed to make you laugh a couple times, although you didn’t respond with anything other than monosyllables. 

“...and then I felt something on my shoulder and when I looked down I saw this old lady, one of the lecturers, and she was fast asleep leaning on my shoulder!” Cillian laughed at the other side of the line and you smiled.

“You are comfortable to sleep on, Cillian. Don’t try to deny it”, you joked. He huffed, amused.

“The poor lady was snoring, Y/N.” 

“I feel kind of bad for her, that must have been a bit embarrassing.”

“Absolutely”, he agreed. “By the way, Y/N, I know you don’t want to talk about it right now but let me tell you that if you need to talk to someone about whatever, just know that you can call me. It doesn’t matter the time or where I am, just call me. Alright?” 

Cillian’s sudden words left you speechless. A knot was starting to form in your throat. “Alright, Cill. Thanks.” 

“Don’t thank me, Y/N. I love you, I’m here for everything you need, remember that. I’m going to bed, my train leaves early tomorrow morning. Sleep well, darling.”

“Good night, Cillian”.

I love you. I love you. I love you. 

After hanging up, you realised that you were crying. Something as simple as a phone call had made you feel loved. More than ever during that week you wished that Cillian was there with you. 

-

The next morning you woke up with more energy than the previous days so you decided to bake something. After looking for an easy recipe, you decided to make chocolate chip cookies. Everything was going as planned, the cookies were in the oven and the dishes were draining after being washed. All that was left was waiting.

The doorbell rang, giving you a micro scare. A minute later you heard knocking on your door. 

When you opened it, the first thing you noticed were a pair of blue eyes crinkled at the corners the moment you appeared in front of him. Cillian was standing at your door, wearing the fluffiest sweater that you had ever seen. You let out a small scream of joy and wrapped your arms around his neck, burying your face in the soft fabric of his sweater.  

He wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted you up, hugging your body tightly. The two of you stayed like that for a few minutes, hugging in silence. 

“I wasn’t expecting you, Cill”, you finally said smiling widely, with your cheeks slightly blushed. 

“I told you my train left early, I can leave if you don’t want me here”, he said, erasing the smile from your face. 

You frowned and grabbed his wrist, pulling him inside your home and closing the door. 

“No!” You complained. “I didn’t mean that. I was just surprised to see you”, you started rumbling, making him laugh quietly. 

He reached and caressed your hair. “I know, Y/N. I’m just messing with you.” 

You let out a puff and sat next to him on the couch, legs crossed. Cillian put a large hand on your knee and gave it a squeeze. “Close your eyes”.

“Why?” 

He gave you a look that said do as I say. “It’s a surprise, eyes closed now.”

Sighing, you obeyed. With your eyes closed you sensed his weight leaving the couch and positioning behind your back. You opened your eyes when something cold touched the base of your throat, a small ornament hung from a thin gold chain. You held it between your fingers delicately, it was beautiful. 

You looked at Cillian, who was staring at you expectantly, crouching at the side of the couch to be at your height. 

“So? What do you think?”

“Is really pretty”, you whispered, biting your lip. 

“I have one too,” he confessed, showing you the matching chain. “I saw them in an antique store and thought of you.”

“Thanks, I love it.” 

It really meant a lot to you, the fact that he thought of you while he was away. Even the way he was looking at you at the moment, with a glint of adoration, made your heart ache. You felt your eyes beginning to fill with tears, so you throwed yourself towards him and embraced his shoulders while inhaling his scent. 

Cillian grabbed the sides of your face, caressing your cheeks with his thumbs before kissing you. When your lips parted, he whispered against your mouth. 

“Happy birthday, Y/N”.

[peachdues]

Hi Peach!

I’ve only been following you for a few months now, but I was wondering how you and Sam met? You don’t have to answer if that’s too personal, I’m just curious! You guys seem to have a really sweet and healthy relationship <3

sorry for taking so long to respond to this — you and another anon (I think 🥀) asked this? And I promise I wasn’t ignoring you!

It’s funny, because last week marked the seven year anniversary of me receiving this message from Sam

For context, we went to the same (absurdly small) university. We knew who the other was, but never had really met or hung out before, despite having a bit of cross over between friend groups.

To start, we met at a party at the start of the semester our junior year when we were forced to share a couch bed together despite being total strangers (not really forced, but it happened that way). Major “there was only one bed” trope. I didn’t really see his face bc I was slightly drunk and FREEZING and lowkey suspicious of him. He ended up throwing a blanket over me because he said, and I quote, “the futon is vibrating.” That gesture was so sweet and it really stuck out to me. I told my roommates the next day and then kinda forgot about him.

My best friend/roommate was the orchestrator of us meeting/getting together. After that party, I spotted Sam one day walking across campus (apparently I didn’t recognize him?? But my friends knew who I was talking about from the party because like I said, they all knew him) and I told her I’d fuck him.I had a little pattern of saying that about someone on campus and I’d end up doing it before the semester was over — until Sam. I was bummed that my streak was apparently over, and I was bitching to my other roommate about it one night at the end of the semester when, not an hour later, he sent me that little gem of a message. I felt vindicated af after that.

The problem was, I was about to spend a semester in DC working/interning, and wouldn’t be back on campus until the following autumn — but we hit it off so well and we didn’t really know what to do (my school was like 11 hours away by car from my home, so there wasn’t any way we could hang out over winter break).

Ultimately, we decided not to date until I returned to campus in August, but then Sam came and visited me in DC in February and we just kinda said “fuck it,” (and then we fucked each other). We’ve been together ever since!

I should add that he waited so long to reach out (despite my roommate like. Hyping me up) because he thought I was way out of his league and was terrified of me because I was “the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen” and it made him nervous.

[thebirdandthebee]

Imagine Me & You

A Jake “Hangman” Seresin fic.

First time writing TGM fanfic - please be gentle.

Jake stumbles across a woman on base that seems to enjoy the finer things in life... just like the future he’d like to build - with her in it.

Thanks so much to all for the likes and comments, I’m having a blast writing this! Tonight’s chapter is over twice as long as all the rest and I think just what we’ve been looking for... It is, however, unedited, so apologies for any glaring mistakes.

Chapter 5: Come Back, Be Here

“And so what is this one supposed to do?” Mia asked, adjusting the small piece of cloth that was meant to cover the tip of her nose.

“Uh, I think yours is brighten and firm,” Tina called from the bathroom where she was affixing her own facemask between sips of wine.

Mia shrugged thoughtfully, taking out her phone.

“What about mine?” Bob asked, frowning at the packaging that he was having a hard time reading without his glasses on.

“Yours is moisturizing, baby!” Tina replied, strutting back into the TV room in their basement.  She had invited Mia over for cocktails and appetizers after a long week on base. She was working her first court hearing starting next week and though she was confident working under Lt. Gen. Bozek, she wanted things to be perfect, a victim of her own Type-A personality.

The prep had kept her up past one in the morning nearly every night.

Bobbi was out of town for the weekend visiting her new situationship in LeMoore.

“Once you go military….” Tina raised an eyebrow, causing Bob to roll his eyes. She really enjoyed their company – they seemed like people she’d eventually befriend at any point in her life, but she was especially glad to have them now.

“Mia, when does Jack come back out again?” Bob asked, having gotten to chop it up with the younger Thomas when he was in town last.

“Not until after New Year’s unfortunately,” she explained. “I’ll head out to Indiana to visit him for Christmas, it’s hard for him to get out here between winter semester and baseball practices.”

“It’ll come sooner than you think,” Bob smiled warmly. “We’ll head back to Oregon to Tina’s Mom’s for Christmas,” he added.

“Oh I love Oregon,” Mia gushed.

“It’s the best,” Tina agreed, joining them on the big sectional sofa, popping a cheese cube into her mouth. “So Mimi,” she grinned in a way that Mia had learned was trouble. “You and our Hangman were looking awfully cozy at the Fourth party…” She trailed off.

“Were we?” Mia asked, acting as though she couldn’t remember the party from a little over two weeks earlier.

“Babe?” Tina asked, looking at her husband.

“Cozy,” Bob confirmed.

“Not any more cozy than with Rooster,” Mia tried to level.

“Oh please,” Tina snorted. “He took his shirt off and your tongue rolled down to the ground like a cartoon.”

“It did not!” Mia honked out an unladylike laugh, caught by surprise.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed, we all looked,” Tina insisted.

“Hate to disappoint you both, but Jake and I are just friends,” Mia replied coyly. Friends who ate breakfast on the beach and nearly kissed on base – but she’d keep that to herself. “Speaking of, I haven’t heard from too many others in a while, what gives?” Mia asked, taking a sip of her wine as she thumbed through a magazine on her lap. When she received no response, she looked up to catch the tail end of a look between Bob and Tina.

“They’re out on assignment,” Tina said.

“Like at a different base?” Mia asked, cocking her head to the side.

“Something like that,” Tina replied. Mia didn’t love her answer.

“Wait what does that mean?” The blonde frowned, “is everyone okay?” She asked.

“No reason to think they’re not,” Bob said calmly.

“Explain,” Mia insisted. As someone who professionally lived in the black and white, she didn’t understand the grey they were offering.

“Sorry Mia, it’s confidential,” Bob gave her a sad smile.

“But you’re not there?” Mia asked.

“I didn’t draw the short straw,” he said, not sure how else to explain.

“Well when do they come home?” Mia asked, a little knot forming between her brows.

“Can’t say,” Bob replied.

“Well this is bullshit!” She frowned even deeper.

“It is,” Tina agreed, causing Bob to give her a sidelong glance. “More wine?” She offered.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“I think the eighteen by twenty-four goes to the left of that window, and then the small gallery to the right,” Bobbi said, standing back from the window.

“Okay, but then where does the mirror go?” Mia asked, looking around the room at her options.

“Bedroom for sure,” Bobbi replied.

“Yeah, I think you’re right, but I’ve got to get my new desk in first,” Mia sighed. After living in her apartment for the past 11 months, she decided to upgrade to a slightly larger unit on the south side of the building. It was the nicest apartment available and she was pleased with herself for pulling the trigger on something she knew she’d appreciate. The new apartment would give Jack some more space when he came to visit and now they each had their own respective bathrooms, along with a den she could carve into an office.

“And when does everything else get moved up?” Bobbi asked, taking a sip of her water glass on the counter.

“Well, I decided I could do most of it myself, so Tina and Bob are coming by this afternoon to help with a few things,” Mia grinned, “I think I may have bit off more than I can chew.”

“You really strike me as a hire-the-movers kind of person,” Bobbi laughed.

“Normally I am!” Mia insisted, “but I’ve become such a control freak lately that I just decided I wanted to do it myself – besides, it’s only down the hall, it can’t be that hard.”

“Fair,” Bobbi nodded. “Well I’m going to order some salads for lunch and we’ll see what else we can hang up?” She suggested, grabbing her phone from her purse.

“Perfect,” Mia smiled.

The pair worked diligently hanging picture frames, mindful of the tape markers on the floor that would signify where certain furniture pieces would live. Mia was grateful for a friend like Bobbi – and by extension, Lt. Gen. Bozek for introducing the two. She had returned from Lemoore last week, a big hickey on her neck that she was mortally embarrassed about, but a big smile nonetheless. Mia loved to see her happy.

“Hey you haven’t heard from like Rooster or Hangman, have you?” Mia tried to ask casually, taking a bite of her salad as they sat around her kitchen island an hour later. Bobbi glanced up at the blonde with a small frown.

“Sorry, no,” she shook her head.

“It’s been like a really long time, right?” Mia asked. At this point, it had been over three and a half weeks since she saw Jake. Or Bradley.

She was new to this world – was being this long a good or bad thing? It couldn’t be good, right? Were they in danger? Had something already happened and no one had said anything yet?

“You’ll get used to it,” Bobbi gave her hand a squeeze. “I haven’t heard anything, but that doesn’t mean much. I could as my uncle if he knows anything?” She offered.

“No, it’s okay,” Mia felt silly for bringing it up, stabbing her fork down into her salad.

“I’m sure they’re fine,” Bobbi offered a reassuring smile.

That night as Mia laid in her bed, she stared at the ceiling, still plagued with thoughts of Jake. And Bradley. What if something had happened? What if he was hurt, or worse? Would it take this long for them to find out?

Oddly enough, the first thing that flashed through Mia’s mind was all the times Jake had held her hand. Dismounting from chairs at The Hard Deck, stepping out of her golf cart, helping her up from the beach blanket after their beach morning. She wanted more of it. She wanted his hands on her in the way he lifted her to his shoulders in the pool or as he reached for something beyond her grasp on the grocery store shelf.

She wanted more sunsets in a patio lounger and darts at the bar, ignoring the boundaries of personal space. She wanted more rides in the Jag and maybe they could even start running in the morning together.

Mostly, she wanted to kiss his gorgeous face. She wanted him to hold her in those strong arms so she knew exactly where he was. She wasn’t sure how it happened, but she had fallen deep for Jake Seresin. So where the hell was he?

Wiping away a tear of frustration, she turned to her side and tried to get some sleep.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Another week had passed and Mia’s court case proceedings were going well, but it was still quite a bit of stress on the young attorney. Following the morning’s hearing, she headed back to her office to unwind when she got the call.

“Your grandmother had a fall, she’s okay, but she’s asking for you.” The orderly explained.  

Lt. Gen. Bozek had barely told her to pack up and leave before she was flying down the highway in the convertible. She hated driving in heels, but she was thankful for the short drive. She had called Jack on the way to give him an update and talked him down from missing class to come out and see Dorothea.

“It’s okay, they said she’s okay,” Mia reassured. “Don’t miss class – I will give you an update as soon as I get eyes on her. We’ll FaceTime.” She insisted on the phone, pulling into the parking lot for the care facility.

“Give her a kiss for me,” Jack insisted sadly.

“Of course I will – call you soon, Jack Jack.” She hung up. Putting on a brave face, she walked into the facility and was greeted by the medical director, who walked alongside Mia as they headed up to Dorothea’s suite.

“She’s okay, she’s stable. She does have a fractured wrist and some bruising on her leg,” the doctor explained. “We’ve completed a full evaluation and we don’t think this is a cause for concern, but simply that she’s an 88-year-old woman and these things happen.”

Mia knew he was only trying to be reassuring, but the fact remained, Dorothea was 88 and things like this would only become more commonplace.

“What was the response time between the fall and someone attending to her?” Mia asked.

“Less than two minutes,” The doctor explained. “Dorothea has an alert buddy, which senses if she’s had a fall and alerts us immediately.” Mia could exhale at that news.

“Thank you,” she said softly, pushing open the door to her grandmother’s room.

Stepping in quietly, she slipped out of her heels and padded towards the recliner her grandmother was napping in, facing out toward the ocean with the sea breeze coming in through the open patio door. Mia said dutifully beside her, gently resting her hand on Dorothea’s and feeling like she could breathe again.

It was one thing to be told someone was okay, but another to get hands on them and know for yourself.

“Hi sweetheart,” Dorothea smiled softly. Mia held back a sob.

“Hi there,” she replied, giving Dorothea’s hand a small squeeze.

“Why so sad?” Her grandmother asked, seeing the trouble behind her mirrored brown eyes.

“Oh, I was just worried about you,” Mia said gently.

Moving was stressful, the need to win her first court case was looming over her shoulders and wondering every 10 minutes if Jake was okay was taking a toll on her. Throw in an ailing grandmother on top of that and Mia felt a little bit like her world was caving in on top of her.

“You don’t need to worry about me, my darling girl,” Dorothea insisted. “I’m doing quite well – I won’t be dancing anytime soon, but that’s just fine.” Mia let a single tear slip with her soft laugh. “Come on, there must be more?” Her grandmother pressed.

Mia sucked in a small breath, running her free hand through her hair.

“I’m worried about my friend,” She explained. “He’s an aviator on base and he’s been gone for a long time. We don’t really get to know any details or when he’ll be back.” She added.

Dorothea patted Mia’s hand gently.

“I’m sorry, Mimi,” Dorothea sympathized. “Does he know how you feel about him?” She asked. Mia’s eyes cut over to her grandmother, who gave her a serene look but just a corner of her mouth was upturned.

“No,” Mia gave her a sad smile. “I mean, I only just figured it out for myself the other day, but I do care about him a lot.”

“Is he handsome?” Dorothea asked, causing Mia to giggle, breaking the tension in her brows.

“So handsome,” she agreed. “You’d love him.” She insisted. “His name is Jake and he’s a total gentleman – from Texas.”

“Cowboy,” Dorothea winked, making Mia laugh again. She was so glad her grandmother was okay – but it didn’t change the fact that she was becoming more and more fragile.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Mia was back at work three days later, hair a little out of place and a hint of darkness under her eyes. It was piling on – the pressure. Jack was stressed about school and calling her every night, during the day, she was pounding away at work while devoting as much time as she could talking to Dorothea.

Her move was going slower than she could believe and was living between two apartments – getting ready in one unit before walking down the hall to get the rest of her things. Her complex was being gracious with her move-out period.

That, and still nothing from the Lieutenant Commander.

As the day wound down, she could see the light in Lt. Gen. Bozek’s office click on. Neither of them had designs to leave anytime soon.

After going over two hours of deposition with Bozek, it was nearing eight o’clock and her vision was getting more and more blurry by the minute. She was tired, getting cranky, and was hoping she could see a sliver of sunlight before it went dark for the evening. That was clearly out of the question at this point, as she could see the stars winking through thin clouds.

The full moon, however, was her saving grace, and she admired its beauty through the window of her office.

“Mia, it’s late, and we’ve got a Noon call time tomorrow,” Bozek sighed, standing in the doorway. “Why don’t you head home and try to get a few extra hours of sleep?” He suggested.

“Normally I would fight you on this, but yes, I will take your advice,” she smiled pitifully. Lt. Gen. Bozek liked the young attorney and he saw an incredibly bright future for her – this first win would mean a lot.

“Let’s head out, there’s a bus arriving shortly and it’s going to get a bit busy on base,” he explained. “Actually we might already be S-O-L.” He said, craning his neck to see cars already leaving with their loved ones.

“A bus?” She asked, tossing her laptop down into her tote and switching from her heels into a pair of sensible flats that made her drive home much more bearable.

“There’s a small team returning tonight from assignment,” blood rushed her ears. “Families that live nearby can come pick them up from the base, it’s actually pretty sweet.” He explained.

“Jake?” She whispered, not intending for Bozek to hear her.

“You might find… a familiar face or two out there… if they haven’t left yet,” Lt. Gen. Bozek trailed.

“I’ll see you at Noon!” She called, taking off like a bat into the night as she escaped from the building, feet pounding down the stairs. She jumped the last two, throwing her briefcase haphazardly over the car door and into the passenger seat as she nearly leapt into the car. She prayed Jake hadn’t already left. She never saw his car on base, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t have gotten a ride with someone else.

With no real sense of where to go, she simply drove toward the commotion that neared a hangar she had passed by a hundred times. Ten or so cars remained with a few lights on to illuminate the airfield. Parking like an absolute jackass, she hopped out of the car and began scanning the crowd. Forty or so base members and their families were milling about with big hugs and happy smiles.

She didn’t care if she looked like a lunatic, so she began to weave through groups, doing her best to identify anyone in the harsh, angled lighting.

It began to feel hopeless. There weren’t that many people that she’d lose Jake. She felt like if he was there, she’d know it, and she felt utterly lost in a sea of strangers.

Cutting her losses, she figured if she headed back to her apartment now, she could shimmy some of her kitchen boxes down the hall to her new place. She turned to walk down the parking area behind the row of cars.

Pulling her phone out of her back pocket, she composed a text to Bobbi and Tina in their group chat, a pitiful frown on her face.

“We’ve got to stop running into each other like this, Thomas.” Mia’s head popped up at the familiar voice and her face crumpled upon seeing Lieutenant Commander Seresin leaning against her driver’s side door, his duffel bag sitting on the trunk of her car.

“Jake!” She let the floodgates open, running a full sprint at the tall blonde, who was more than ready to catch her as she jumped into him. He held her tightly against him, reveling in the feeling as she buried her face into his neck, giving him a reason to inhale the scent of her shampoo and that damned perfume.

He gently rocked them back and forth as she squeezed him tight, and he could feel the tiny, telltale shakes of her shoulders.

“It’s okay, I’m here, darlin’,” he murmured pressing his lips to her temple. “Everything’s okay,” he cooed, “I’m here.”

“Why didn’t you call?” She cried, “why didn’t you let me know you were okay?” She asked. He leaned against her car a little further when he realized she wasn’t ready to let go yet.

“If I could have, I would have, sweetheart,” he explained gently. “I wanted to every day.” He could feel the tears catch on the fabric of his cotton tee.

“Stay with me tonight?” She asked, pulling back and looking up at him with those bleary, honey-gold eyes. Even in the dark of the evening, they seemed to glow.

“There is nothing else I’d rather do.”

The two drove in comfortable silence back to Mia’s apartment, her crowding him as much as possible – him, glad to maneuver the two-seater with one hand as the other arm draped across her shoulders, holding her into his side.

“I got it, Mia, you go on ahead,” he said, tossing his duffel over his shoulder and grabbing her work tote as well. In the elevator to the fifteenth floor, she crowded him yet again, pressing her face into his chest. She didn’t like the smell that clung to his Navy-issued clothing. It didn’t smell like him. “Darlin’, why’s your mattress on the ground?” He said after she led him through the halfway-furnished apartment to her bedroom.

“I’m moving,” she said quietly. “Just down the hall, but I can’t move my bed frame on my own and Tina and Bob had to cancel on me because Bob’s got the flu and Bobbi’s back in Lemoore this weekend, and I’ve been in Del Mar with my grandmother since she fell and I’ve got this court hearing tomorrow and –” She began to wind herself up again.

“Okay, okay, let’s get you changed out of your work clothes,” he said, scooting her over to her closet. “Do you have some pajamas here?” She nodded, rubbing her hands across her face. “You get changed and I’ll grab us a drink, okay?” He offered, rubbing his hands up and down her arms. She paused, taking him in in the warm light of her apartment. He’d never been here, but something about his presence made it feel like home.

He, too, looked like he’d been missing some sleep, and his skin was irritated across his forehead and by his ears. He’d never looked so handsome.

He knew what she was thinking, and before she could fully grasp his jaw in her hands, his lips were on hers.

She was soft and warm and everything he had dreamed of the past four weeks in his twin cot on the carrier. His arms wound around her waist as she rocked forward on her toes, stretching to reach him as she slanted her mouth over his.

“I’m sorry, I should have asked,” she said after softly pulling away. He knew he would always enjoy his downward view of her eyelashes before she looked up at him – a dazed expression on her face.

“Please never apologize,” he murmured, cupping her face in his hand, itching to run his fingers through her hair. “Change, meet me back here in two,” he instructed, pressing another firm kiss to her lips.

As soon as he stepped out of the bedroom, she flew through the closet, flinging her clothes off and stepping into a soft, matching set of shorts and tee.

Jake reappeared as she crawled into the elevated mattress – grateful she had made the bed that morning before work. He held two glasses in his hands, ice waters and a slice of lemon in hers. He was good with details.

“Drink,” he said softly, handing over her glass. And she did, as she watched him step out of his Navy-issued pants, folding them and tossing them over the back of her reading chair before pulling his white tee over his head. “Is this okay?” He asked, tossing the t-shirt on top of his pants before doing the same with his dog tags. He was left standing in his white boxers. She nodded intently.

The sight of Mia holding back the corner of the bed covers for him made a warm tingling surface near the base of his spine and behind his ears. He knew for months they’d get here, but now it was real.

Mia wasted no time crowding his space once again. He managed not to jump at her cold fingertips, but made himself comfortable in her bed as she came to relax on his chest. He tucked one arm behind his head and stroked the other up and down her back.

“Don’t leave again,” she said, propping her chin up against his chest. “Everything fell apart when you did.” She pressed a kiss to the warm skin of his collarbone. “Tell me about it, darlin,’” he insisted.

“Dorothea fell and broke her wrist,” she began. “She’s going to be fine but it scared the hell out of me,” she added. “I’ve been spending as much time as I can with her, but I’m working my first court case and we have another proceeding tomorrow at Noon that I’ve been killing myself on.” Jake listened carefully she continued. “Jack is freaking out at school about one of his senior capstone classes and is now doubting his whole major, and we talk every day, but I’m running out of hours.”

Jake paused his ministrations and simply held her to him.

“And I’ve been living between two apartments because I didn’t just hire the damn movers, I had to do it myself,” she rolled her eyes. “Turns out I can’t move all this furniture on my own.” She pressed the broad of her face into his chest. “And I just missed you a lot,” she confessed, her words muffled by his skin.

“Gonna have to speak up on that last one,” he said, rubbing her back again, very aware of what she said.

“I missed you so much – more than I thought I would,” she said, looking up at him once again. “I was talking to my grandmother about you and I just realized that… I have feelings for you.” She said, feeling incredibly vulnerable.

“Glad we’re on the same page, sweetheart,” he said, pushing her hair back out of her face. “Been waiting for you to catch up,” he added.

“Tina tried tipping me off… but I don’t know, I didn’t want to jump to anything I wasn’t sure about,” she explained.

“Tina’s a menace,” he grinned, kissing the top of her head. “Wanted to give you time to come around.”

“I’m here,” she said, her gaze dropping to his lips. He was eager to gather her up against him, her hands once again delving into his soft hair as his mouth claimed hers.

“Missed you,” he breathed between kissing, chasing her lips.

“I thought about you every day,” she confessed. “Just wanted you home,” she added, gathering her legs underneath her and swinging one over to straddle his hard body. Jake groaned as she pushed down against him, going cross-eyed beneath his lids for a moment.

“Alright cowgirl, just – give me a minute,” he grit. She didn’t. She pressed open-mouth, lazy kisses against his jaw, nipping his earlobe with her teeth in a way that sent a metallic zing right down to his cock. She reveled in the feeling of him hardening beneath her, feeling incredibly powerful in that moment.

“I know I’m going to regret this,” he murmured, chasing her lips yet again for a firm kiss. “But you’ve got court in the morning,” he added, pecking her softly. “And I’ve got some furniture to move.” He continued. “Then, when you’re out of court, we can drive some dinner over to Del Mar.” Mia withheld a whimper. She knew Jake would fix everything. “And I want to do this right.” He said pressing his face into her cheek and enjoying the warmth of her skin. “Because I’m crazy about you, Mia Thomas,” he said, catching her attention with his intent.

“Glad we’re on the same page, Lieutenant Commander.”

[wososhit]

Wrong timing (alexia x reader)

Note this is set six or seven years ago so Alexia is 21/22

You sat at the bar as music blasted through the speakers and bodies clashed on the dance floor. You decided to study abroad for a semester of university and somehow found yourself in Barcelona. Your classmates, all eager to get drunk and party has dragged you along.

Ready to leave you accidentally met a pair of hazel eyes amid the chaos. Frozen in place you swallowed hard as the mystery women made her way over. You took a steadying breath breath before meeting her eyes once again. Except this time you could see the soft flecks of gold within the hazel. “ hola hermosa soy Alexia” she greeted. “ Um soy y/n” you awkward respond trying to recover from your shock. “Can I buy you a drink” Alexia says picking up on your accent. To which you simply nodded. Alexia smiled and rested a soft hand to the small of your back as she took a small step forward. You fell into comfortable conversation with Alexia. You learned she was a footballer for Barcelona who loved dogs.

Your hand rested on her bicep with hers wrapped around you. You were both so entranced in the conversation you almost didn’t realize your classmates were leaving. Disappointed you were about to detach yourself from Alexia when “You could come to my place” fell from her lips. It didn’t take long for you to agree. The walk to Alexia apartment was short and filled with a comfortable silence as your hand found hers.

Waking up the following morning a pounding headache drowned out the world around you. As you opened your eyes you quickly became aware of your surroundings. Memories of the night before came rushing back and the only proof you needed it was real was the football player sleeping with her legs still tangled with yours. “Buenos dias ” Alexia sleepily mumbled, too tired to translate. You smiled at her half awake attempt at communication as you sat up in bed

Your moment of peace was quickly invaded when you remembered you had a morning class. Hurriedly you got up and threw clothes on as you called an Uber. You waited in silence with Alexia at the front door for your Uber. You and Alexia exchanged numbers and agreed to meet again.

You ended up meeting Alexia for coffee later that week, than dinner, then shopping, then one of her games. By now you weren’t exactly sure what your relationship with the midfielder was. You often kept each other company in bed but also took long walks around Barcelona together under the stars when you couldn’t sleep. Not one to share your feelings you continued with the unspoken agreement of friends with benefit.

Eventually fall had given way to winter and you knew your time in Barcelona wouldn’t be forever. Alexia laid with her head in your lap as a football game played in the background. “ I have a couple days off of training and am visiting my family for Christmas” “ you could come?” Alexia softly asked knowing you wouldn’t have time to fly back to the states with your classes. The offer gave you hope and sent butterflies to your stomach. After much reassurance you wouldn’t be intruding, you happily agreed.

The entire ordeal felt domestic, going to Alexia’s childhood home to be with, maybe it even felt like dating. But those feelings were repressed with the knowledge of your short stay. Plus Alexia would have said something if this was more.

Arriving at the Putellas household you couldn’t help but feel a little nervous even though you have spoken to her mom and sister on the phone. Your worries quickly faded though and the next thing you knew you seated next to Alexia at family dinner. Various relatives had come and thankfully your improved Spanish meant you could talk with everyone. Throughout the entirety of the dinner Alexia’s hand rested on your thigh and inside jokes were easily shared between the two of you.

It wasn’t until you were waking back from the bathroom you heard Alexia’s voice ring out. “Y/n and I are just friends”. At that you froze with a funny feeling in your stomach. Eventually you conceded to the fact that Alexia’s statement was true, as you slowly made your way back.

Later that night as you were playing cards with Alexia her mom came in asking where everyone wanted to sleep. After Alba began arguing about always having to share a room Alexia whispered asking if you wanted to share. You were shocked by the question but quickly said yes.

As you and Alexia were walking into her room Alba had just exited the bathroom. Her eyes went wide and a smirk appeared on her face. “ Just friends huh” she questioned looking at the both of you. “People are trying to sleep” Alexia whisper yelled, before giving her younger sister a meaningful look. Alba to her credit nodded understandingly but the smug look on her face remained.

Soon you and Alexia were once again packing your bags as you bid farewell to Alexia’s family. “ Your family is great” you softly say with a smile. “ their alright” Alexia says staring right back at you with a soft look. You could see through it and knew she really loved her family. On the way back to Barcelona you slept with your head resting on Alexia’s shoulder with your hand holding hers.

The following days were filled with assignments and studying in fact you were so busy you almost missed an email, almost. You had gotten into one of the best business programs in the country. It had been a dream for years and you immediately knew you were to accept.

Your celebrations were cut short but an alarm. The alarm was thag Alexia’s game was starting soon. The Alexia you have hopelessly fell for. You knew you would be leaving the country in a couple weeks as your semester was neatly finished. Busying yourself you put on the game and finished your work to char the thoughts of leaving away.

You were committed to finding the perfect time to tell Alexia you would be leaving. Eventually though that time turned into when you were packing.

You walked into her apartment and as you met the same hazel eyes that swept you off your feet months ago you had to blink away tears. “ Ale I am um” I’m leaving soon” you stated as emotionless as possible. At these words her face fell as she bit her lip, casting her gaze down. “ I knew you would soon” her voice broken in a way that shattered you. Stepping forward you took her into a hug. And she buried her face in your neck. What you didn’t expect was it to turn into a kiss. You broke apart breathlessly “ one more night” Alexia said lacing her fingers with yours. “One more night” you repeated before leading her to the bedroom.

Collapsing your head in Alexia’a chest you committed this feeling and the way Alexia held you to memory. For all you knew you wouldn’t ever feel it again. Feeling Alexia shift slightly under you half asleep body she kissed your forehead before whispering “I love you”

Waking up the next morning you knew you had to leave soon for your flight. Quickly you put clothes on and got ready only to stop in your tracks as you walked back into the bedroom. Alexia was still asleep and her words from the previous night ricocheted in your head.

You realized this was it and quickly found a piece of paper to write “te amo”. You left the note on the table of the side of the bed that had become yours. As you left you refused to break down as you left the love of your life.

Only once you got home you allowed yourself to break down. Expect it didn’t feel like home because home was no longer a place, it was a person.

[bridgyrose]

Good evening Bridgy. Got a oneshot for you to consider, if it should please you: Basically a fusion of the transfer student and whiterose penpal au's. I think it could be a cute fluffy oneshot, but as always it's up to you. Please have a nice day and such.

(I hope this suffices)

Weiss read the letter from her penpal, fingers tapping against the paper. It had been months since she had heard from Ruby, their last letter having been after she started going to Beacon. Though, she understood why it took so long for Ruby to respond. Between her own classes, training missions, and failing to lead her correctly, she was sure Ruby had been busy with much of the same. Still, she seemed to relax a bit as she read that Ruby was okay and the smell of strawberry cookies seemed to waft from the letter itself, a smell that Weiss learned to enjoy. 

“Miss Schnee, the headmaster is ready to see you,” the office secretary said. 

Weiss gently folded up the letter and stuck it in her uniform pocket, taking a deep breath as she walked into the General’s office. Her heart thumped in her chest as she stepped inside, her voice cracking as she made a small curtsey to him. “Thank you for talking to me about this.” 

Ironwood nodded and motioned to a seat in front of his desk. “You want to transfer to Beacon? You seem to be doing well in your classes here, you passed the entrance exam with flying colors, and your sister gave you a glowing recommendation to come here. Why would you want to leave?” 

“Atlas, wasnt exactly my first choice, and… I feel like I’ll have a better chance to improve at Beacon,” Weiss answered, sitting down as she dug through her backpack for her transfer paperwork. “And while I’m thankful that Winter gave a recommendation for me to come here, I want to take a different path of huntressing than she did.” 

“And by that you mean…” 

“I dont want to be a specialist in the Atlas military and would like to branch out and see other kingdoms.” 

Ironwood seemed to pause at the idea, taking the paperwork to look it over. “And you’re sure this is what you want to do?” 

Weiss nodded. “I am.” 

“Then I’ll see what I can do. Until then, you’re dismissed to your dorm.” 

Weiss gave a quiet thanks as she stood up and walked out of the office, making her way back to her dorm. Each step she took as quiet and slow as she looked down the empty hallways. Part of her was going to miss Atlas, but if it meant getting away from her father, then nowhere was too far. She stopped just in front of her dorm door, listening in to make sure her team was out before walking in and packing up her things. Though, as she picked up a picture of her team, she gently thumbed over the frame. 

“What are you packing for?” 

Weiss turned around to see one of her teammates walking into the dorm, slowly putting the picture back into her bag. “I’m… transferring out.” 

“I see. The Schnee didnt have what it took to be a huntress then.” 

“That’s not it at all, Violet.” Weiss closed her bag and stood up, folding up her sheets. “I told my father I would only be here for a year, and that year has gone.” 

Violet rolled her eyes. “Sure, that’s it. Nothing to do with losing your partner, right?” 

Weiss huffed as she listened to Violet leave the room, her heart breaking as she thought about the partner she had lost months ago. It wasnt her fault the training mission went wrong, the reports didnt tell them about the grimm in the mine. Or about how many grimm were in the area. Though, none of that mattered. All that mattered was that she let a teammate die, and that left a mark that would never go away. 

The next few weeks passed as the semester break came to an end, and Weiss watched out the airship window as she waited to arrive at Beacon. She tapped her foot against the floor of the cabin and held her letter from Ruby next to her chest, still not having told Ruby that she was transferring to Beacon. Not that she expected to end up on her team, but the thought had crossed her mind. Her heart started to pound hard in her chest as she imagined what Ruby was really like, only having seen a picture of her from Signal a couple years back. 

“We’re almost to Vale, Miss Schnee,” the pilot said over the intercom. “And then we’ll be arriving at Beacon shortly after.” 

Weiss nodded and folded up Ruby’s letter, putting it in jacket pocket and watched the city of Vale pass by underneath. She took a deep breath as she tried to calm herself and composed herself as she made sure her things were ready to be taken off the airship. Dust bag, clothes, hair care and makeup, all nearby and ready to be loaded onto her trolley to take to whatever dorm room she was given. She didnt care if it meant starting over as a first year again, or even ending up going through initiation, she was ready for a change of pace from Atlas. 

The airship landed after another half hour, and Weiss started to load up her trolley with her bags, smiling a bit as she saw Professor Goodwitch make her way to the landing pad. “I wasnt expecting a welcome.” 

“Normally we dont do this, but since you are a transfer in the middle of the year, I wanted to make sure you knew where to go.” Goodwitch handed over a packet of papers. “This will be your dorm assignment, your class itinerary, a few documents to read over and sign as a transfer student to make sure we can accommodate correctly if you have any restrictions, and a map of the campus. If you’re ready, I can show you where your dorm is.” 

“Thank you, that would be great.” Weiss finished loading up her trolley and followed Goodwitch through the halls of Beacon, taking in everything about the school. It was much more different than she expected from Atlas, giving more of a castle of the old kingdoms feel instead of the military base that Atlas offered. Though, it did seem harder to navigate. The dorms, while separated from the classrooms like they were in Atlas, didnt seem to have much rhyme or reason to which students were in which dorms, different teams from different years all in the same dorm halls. As well, classrooms were separated off by year instead of department, while easier to navigate between classes, made things a bit harder to navigate at the beginning and the end of the day. 

“And this will be your dorm.” Goodwitch pressed her scroll against a pad next to the door, letting it unlock and open. “You’ll be joining MIss Rose, Miss Belladonna, and Miss Xiao Long. Though, from the looks of it, they may be out for lunch, so you have a bit of time to settle before they come around. Make sure you fill out the rest of those papers and submit them to the headmaster no later than tomorrow morning.” 

Weiss gave a small nod and moved her trolley into the dorm, ready to unpack, freezing once she saw the beds. Instead of the bunks she was used to at Atlas, she instead saw four beds haphazardly set up to be bunk beds, clearly not set up by administration by the ropes and books that kept everything steady. The room was also far smaller than what she was used to, not a lot of closet space with the beds taking up a majority of the room. Still, she started to unpack her dust, stashing it under the empty bed and hanging up her dresses in the empty space in the closet. 

“Our new teammate is supposed to be here by now,” a younger voice said outside the dorm. “We should meet her.” 

“Alright, but then we need to get to Vale if you want to get that scope you’ve been looking for.” 

“It’ll be fine, we’ll have time.” 

Weiss paused for a moment as she listened to the door open, turning her head to see her teammates standing outside the room. She stood up to introduce herself, pausing when she saw a familiar face from one of her letters. “I-I’m Weiss. Weiss Schnee.” 

“I’m Yang, and this is Blake and Ruby,” Yang answered back as she pointed to Blake and Ruby respectively. 

Weiss slowly reached for her scroll and searched for the picture of Ruby she had saved before making her way to Beacon. A blush started to cross her cheeks as she looked between the picture and the girl in front of her. “R-Ruby Rose, right? The same one that’s part of the Remnant PenPal program?” 

Ruby nodded and climbed up to her bed, grabbing the wallet she kept under her pillow. “Yeah, how did you know?” 

“You and I write to each other.” 

Ruby paused for a moment, turning to look at Weiss. “Wait, you’re that Weiss? You’re supposed to be in Atlas!” 

“I was, but I transferred here.” Weiss looked away and started to focus on packing again. “But it sounds like you three are going to be busy, so I’ll finish packing-” 

“You could come to Vale with us,” Blake offered. “It’ll give us a bit of time to get to know you.” 

“I still have to unpack and then fill out some paperwork-” 

“You’ll have plenty of time for that,” Yang said. 

Weiss squeaked as she felt Yang pull her to follow them, her blush starting to grow as she watched her teammates walk ahead of her. Never did she imagine she’d end up on a team with the same person she had been penpals with for years, never once did she think she’d actually  meet up with her, and now here she was, at Beacon with the girl she had been slowly crushing on letter after letter. This was going to be an interesting couple years.

[half-deadmagicperson]

PJO Equinox Solstice Exchange

Hi there @fixation-central I'm your gifter for the @pjo-equinox-solstice-exchange

I went with your prompts: Outsider POV, Percy & Leo Valdez, and Percy & Poseidon

Title: Weekend Plans

Warnings: Canon-Typical Violence (Non Descriptive)

I hope you enjoy!

  To most people, Percy Jackson was an enigma. Some people thought he was quiet and strange. Others were scared of him. Many of the students at Goode admired him from afar, because they had to admit, he was rather attractive.

  They've seen the news articles about his abduction and escape at the age of 12. They whisper about the strange occurrences, like when the band room exploded, and Percy went missing for a while. They notice his intimidating eyes glance around the room taking notice of every possible exit.

  The swim team thought he was friendly enough. His classmates were a bit weary. The freshmen were terrified of him, but none of them have seen him as cheery as when he walked into school after winter break.

  Percy walked through the halls chatting with a Latino next to him. The two were in their own little world until Mr. Blofis walked over to greet them.

  The person with Percy was apparently a transfer student named Leo, from what the people nearby heard. From the looks of it, Leo knew the Jackson-Blofis family well.

  The students watched the two of them whenever they were together. Percy, the usually quiet kid, was seen laughing and exchanging inside jokes with Valdez. Other times, the duo would murmur things that others were probably not meant to hear, whispers of ‘celestial bronze’ or ‘Argo’.

  Leo was a lot more approachable than Jackson. He was outgoing and charismatic, but his eyes gave out the same ‘seen too many things’ vibes as his friend. When people asked Valdez about why he came to Goode, he would simply state that it was highly recommended to him. It took the students another month or two to figure out he was bunking with the Jackson-Blofis family. 

  So the students and faculty of Goode watched and observed in silence and left the boys alone. Some classmates, however, were a bit curious.

~~~~~~~~~~~

   It was Friday, last period, Jeffery Johnson  sat in his usual seat close to the window, next to his buddy, Evan. Directly behind their table was where Jackson and Valdez sat. Jeff remembers the fear at the beginning of the school year when Percy Jackson chose to sit behind him. He had heard all the stories and rumors circulating the school, and he had seen the calculating, green stare in person. Every bit of Jackson unnerved him.

  When Valdez joined the school in second semester, Jeff learned that with his current seat, he could hear everything they talked about. A lot of times, it was just idle chatter or comments on whatever the teacher was talking about. Other times, like today, it was conversation that added to the mystery of Percy Jackson.

  “So any plans this weekend,” Jackson asked Valdez before class started. As if they don’t live together.

  “Not much. I’m gonna continue working on Michael’s new leg and hopefully deliver it to camp by Sunday afternoon.”

  Did Jeff hear that correctly? He looked over at Evan who looked equally confused. Jeff shook his head. Leo was probably talking about some robot of his. Then there was the mention of camp.

  A few classmates, including Jeff, have heard about some summer camp Jackson attends, sometimes outside of summer. Jeff assumed it was probably one of those camps for troubled children.

  Jeff tuned back in to listen to Leo finish his ramble about specs.

  “But anyways, how ‘bout you? Got any plans?”

  “Yeah, actually, my dad wanted to spend time with me and ‘try mortal beverages’ so we’re going to the closest boba place to the Hudson.”

  “Woah, wait, your dad actually wants to spend time with you?”

  “I mean, he has wanted to in the past, but usually his brother doesn’t let him. He might even come over for dinner, if he’s not called away, but it’s not very likely. Mom and Paul both said they’d be happy to have him though,” Percy paused before continuing, “As far as the rest of his side of the family goes, he’s not too bad. At least he’s trying.” 

  The teacher walked in, and the two finished their conversation. The words Jeff heard started stewing in his brain. Percy’s biological dad was rumored to be lost at sea. Also, what did he mean by ‘mortal’? There was so much to unpack here. Jeff needed to get to the bottom of this, and he’ll start by Googling boba shops near the Hudson River.

~~~~~~~~~~

     When Jeff got home he devised a plan. He was going to figure out which boba shop Jackson was going to, take Evan with him, and see if he can learn anything. Was this stalking? Maybe, but it could just be pure coincidence that he and Evan were at the shop the same time as Jackson and his dad.

  With a plan in place, he headed off to bed, his mind reeling with theories.

~~~~~~~~~

  Okay, so maybe he didn’t entirely think this through. Jeff and Evan have been sitting at the same table for the past hour and there has been no sign of Percy Jackson. He didn’t know exactly what time Percy would be at the shop, so they arrived when it opened. The owner of the place already called them out for loitering, which led to Jeff buying them more drinks. The two of them were about to give up when the door opened.

  Percy Jackson walked in talking to a man. The pair shared an uncanny resemblance. They both shared the same sea green eyes and chiseled build. Despite his intimidating looks, the man was dressed in Birkenstocks and a Hawaiian shirt, like he was going to the beach and not Manhatten in the middle of winter. 

  The two strolled up to the counter and ordered, idly chatting while they waited for their drinks. Jeff couldn’t hear them until they walked over to a booth in the corner.

  “Yeah, which reminds me, Mom said she was making that casserole that you really like,” Jackson spoke. His father (?) smiled.

 “No matter how many feasts with the finest cooks my brother likes to host, it will never compare to Sally’s cooking.”

  “Agreed.”

 Jackson’s father decided to take a sip of his drink, almost choking on the tapioca pearls. Percy barely covered up the snort he made. Jeff couldn’t see the teen’s face from this angle, but he was sure he was grinning.

 “I forgot to warn you that you have to be careful about the pearls.”

 “Yes, I believe it would be a tragic fate if I had to reappear in Olympus because I choked on whatever you said these were called.”

 “Boba.”

 “Yes, that.”

 Olympus??? What was that about? Before Jeff could process it further, the window closest to the corner booth was smashed open. Thankfully, neither he nor Evan were hit by it. Jackson and his dad were both standing at this point, and both very alert. Percy pulled out a pen. What does he need that for?

  A gleaming, bronze sword replaced the simple ballpoint that was just in his hands. Jeff gasped. He shook Evan’s shoulder.

  “Are you seeing this?” 

  “You mean Percy yelling at those random kids who smashed the window?” Jeff arched a brow before looking back at the scene.

  “You’ve got a lot of nerve coming here,” Jackson’s dad said. Jeff could see where Percy gets his intimidation from. 

  Jeff’s eyes were messing with him. The image of a group of street kids kept shifting into something more sinister. Jackson’s sword had a similar effect, morphing back and forth between a pen and a weapon. It was like trying to see through a dense fog.

  Maybe he was going crazy. Evan didn’t see the sword or the monsters, so maybe he was hallucinating. Jeff’s eyes fixated on the mysterious Percy Jackson as he engaged in battle with the street kids, if they even were kids.

  Evan slipped out of his seat before tugging on Jeff’s arm.

  “We should get out of here before the cops show up.” Jeff gave a silent nod, still watching the fight. He had just caught a glimpse of floating streams of water before they left the shop.

  It was from that day that Jeffery Johnson made it his mission to uncover the secrets of New York that no one has ever dreamed of, starting with one Perseus Jackson.

[twinklnyan4life]

I started playing Persona 5 Royal in 2024. well in the start of January and I enjoyed it and want to play it again for great content but it will kinda wait because of College Semester returns and got stronger. I made two new characters during the between winter break and near end of it. One of them will be in the next main story after Disney Yokaisona Club story but next one here, is coming in Yokaisona Guardians 101 if I have free time break for the main story. Who knows. I’m taking a day of a time.

Anyway introducing the new character. By the way some spoilers from Persona 5.

Ace- He came from the Velvet Room, not knowing where he came from and what his real name. The only thing he remembered is his permanent scar on his face and Igor and the resident members practically raised him until Joker visited there and Igor gives Ace to him (also not knowing is a Yokai) and Joker give him his name right after playing cards. (Not knowing Ace is at home the whole time and to think Joker dreaming all this). Ace can be impressionable as he around Joker, acting like him and but bit clumsy. He even has to steal things as his practice which annoys everyone but at the end, he return them. Ace can be a charmer but end up as a fail (especially flirting with the girls in his age group). He also dress in his phantom thief but didn’t earn his persona but he learn to be sneaky at times. He also a bit clueless to think Joker and Ren is the same guy because of mask.

I hope you enjoy him and more of him can be on the way. Hope I have free time to write him as something good in YG101.

[ejenvs3000w24]

Launching Into Nature Interpretation

Hey Everyone! My name is Evan, in my last semester here at Guelph. Welcome to my blog:)

My current relationship with nature seems to be transitioning from a purely physical perspective to one that strives to learn more about the ins and outs of what makes things possible, and the purpose behind it. Why do certain trees grow in certain environments? Why are certain plants and mushrooms edible and others poisonous? Did we really go through thousands of generations with people eating a certain plant, dying as a result, and now being taught not to eat that certain plant through word of mouth? These are some of the types of questions I ponder as my current relationship with nature grows.

Besides this, my physical relationship with nature now consists of going on hikes with friends, foraging or just finding different shrubs, trees, or fungi, and since the completion of my program, viewing the natural landscape as a medium for sustainable designs. I just finished my program in Landscape Architecture and now finishing up electives. My hope is that I can take what I have gained and apply that knowledge to interpreting nature for others.  At this point in my life I feel so educated about nature and at the same time feel like I have barely scratched the surface.

I discovered these little guys on a walk when I was living in my student house in Guelph. Based on the fact that it was during winter months and growing on a dead piece of hardwood, I'm fairly certain these are Flammulina velutipes, commonly known as velvet shank or enoki mushrooms (they are edible and choice but I'm only a beginner so I just got this cool picture instead)

The wonderful thing about my current relationship with nature is that I never used to think this way. As a kid, I never thought about the purpose behind things in nature, I just assumed a thing is a thing because it grows and that’s it. I believe my perspective towards nature has evolved through experience. Experiencing climbing trees, falling off trees, trying to catch frogs in a local pond, or using a torch to burn a leach off my leg because I was trying to catch frogs in a local pond. I was fortunate enough to grow up in a middle-class household, and so my old home used to back onto a small ravine and mixed deciduous forest.

Every day after school, my brother and I would put on our waterproof boots, maybe pack a granola bar in the pocket for a snack later, and we would just walk. Walk into the forest, straying away from any desired lines, making your own path, jumping in puddles, listening to birds chirping, or getting hit in the face with a buckthorn branch because your brother didn’t wait for you. We would just walk and talk until there was no more forest to be found or until we stumbled upon the next subdivision of neighborhoods. I truly believe this is where my appreciation and curiosity for nature was born. 

A little blurry but I think it still gets the point across lol. My brother on the right and myself on the left after one of the many afterschool hikes.

When thinking about how one develops a sense of place, it typically can happen in more than one setting, and even under different contexts. For me, my sense of place stems from two major experiences in my life so far. The first, already mentioned above, but I really found such bliss going on hikes and walking in the forest behind my childhood home. It’s hard to describe the feeling, but it feels like you are transported into an entirely new world, where you experience taking your first steps past the forest edge, the wind no longer hitting your face and this calm silence grows until it becomes a peaceful white noise. I really felt like this forest was part of my home; I used to call it my backyard when I was younger because it really allowed me to find comfort in nature.

The second experience is going to my cottage every year. For context, my cottage sits on the shores of Georgian Bay, in Lion’s Head, Ontario. My grandad’s father bought the property in 1939, where they moved their little old trailer onto, and built the most vintage-looking bungalow which I now call my cottage. Georgian Bay is an incredible location, I may be biased but if you haven’t been there I highly suggest it. Connected to the Bruce trails and a part of the Niagara Escarpment, this environment offered a radically different landscape than where I grew up, even though it’s only about four hours northwest. The rocky limestones coupled with blue shale make this environment unforgettable and have allowed me to experience having a sense of place in a completely different environment than what I’m used to. Thanks for reading and see you on the next blog:)

View of the Niagara Escarpment at Lion's Head Provincial Park, Ontario