#not tagging this as usual bcuz

[indiestsnake]

When was the last time you drew?

Why do you keep making reblogs by other authors?

Is that why people came and started reading your blog?

WHY SHOULD WE KEEP WATCHING YOU DO NOTHING?

oh ma gorsh. guys. it’s the biggest milestone a content creator could ever reach. AN ANON HATE ASK

okay, real talk. for everyone worried about my mental health and how this would affect me, you can relax. the insecurity anon is targeting is an anxiety issue I have already unpacked and dealt with bcuz I have awesome online friends who are awesome, and they’ve helped me through it. I’ve learned to cope with feelings of inadequacy better and now I can say certainly that this is my blog, my rules. I will post what I want.

Now! Let’s clarify some… policy? I guess, on this kinda hate

I won’t be responding to much anon hate if I get it, because it both only reinforces the person’s goal of getting a reply and will end up putting a bunch of negative content up on my blog. and that’s not what it’s for!!!! so I won’t really make a habit out of this. except for the singular other hate ask this person sent me, because it is honestly very funny to me

for you, my grey circle friend, I suggest you learn where the unfollow button is. Yall don’t have any obligation to stay if I’m not producing the content you like. but if you do like my endless cavalcade of text posts, thank you!!!! I’m glad you’re here :3 stay well, don’t worry about me.

[yaoisquidbob]

[relaxxattack]

rereading the hivebent commentary makes me so annoyed that people are never really willing to analyze the actual effects that alternian culture clearly had on every troll, especially the highbloods. pretty much the only troll who ever actually gets taken in the context of her upbringing is vriska.

no one ever seems willing to think about the character arcs of trolls like equius and terezi, who are also bluebloods with extremely hypocritical and toxic understandings of the people around them-- equius is boiled down to a gross creep who is just like that naturally and definitely didn't get it from his society in any way, whilst terezi is scrubbed of virtually all her flaws and turned into a strange sort of woke love interest character who is all about being gay and too cool to be tricked by any of the alternian propaganda. quadrants? classism? how silly! terezi would never believe in stupid shit like that. she's quirky! and GAY!

despite the fact that equius and terezi both obviously have much, much more to their personalities than that-- and the alternian empire is informing way more dangerous things about these kid's beliefs than "you can kiss your enemies".

[sort-of-a-hero-that-way]

Dennis shielding Dee whether it's physical harm or a verbal confrontation. And thinking about ada's tag alongside the gifs

They're both of equal threat to him...

[cnl0400]

Idk I feel like I live in another dimension than most of the OBM fandom on twt. There has never been free pulls on half anniversary besides the permanent gachas, like my god we know Solmare Is greedy but you're inventing stuff to get mad to

[ruckis-vandalizes]

Oh how easy it must be To build on something that already has foundation And receive so much love for it. How easy it is to copy you. It felt hollow and distant.

How tall your towers are They overshadow us They overlook us We who have no foundation; only passion And build from the ground up

"Be happy with what you have." We try but Is it so selfish to want to feed? To nourish so that we may continue to create?

We work just as hard If not sometimes harder and receive only a fraction of praise If we are lucky.

So toss a coin to us when you see us So that we may have the energy To brandish our tools of passion In hopes we don't become obsolete.

I've been struggling lately with feelings of being overlooked as an artist, among other things. Actually I've been struggling with it for a while. I've kept quiet about it for fear of being lambasted and accused of being "selfish". My silence has caused a boiling point to finally be breached and has only served to hurt me further. Even if it's just screaming into the void in the hopes that it will resonate with someone, I need to let it out.

About 4 years ago I had some unpleasant experiences that left my stance bitter on most mainstream media. More particularly the "fandom" aspect of it. Needing to distance myself I started a passion project. A completely original nonfandom hubworld by the name of "Order of the Stars". It helped me immensely. It helped me recover emotionally. It remains to be one of the few outlets I have to properly express myself and indulge in escapism.

But over the course of the years I began to recognize another struggle. The very glaring disconnect between fanart and completely original stuff in terms of how much attention each gets. I will not lie, I fully live by the code of make art for yourself no matter what. But it becomes hard when you notice that difference. That disconnect.

Humans are but simple creatures that need one thing: engagement. So why am I complaining? I've made fanart before, it's gotten a lot of attention. So what's the issue.

That's just it. It's getting attention.

Considerably more so than my original stuff. You may say "then just don't post it." Trust me, there have been plenty of times where I thought about making fanart for something and just didn't in favor of my OotS stuff. Those that I did I make because I enjoyed something and want to share it as well. But in my eyes one IP address shouldn't make a difference and it's sad that it does. At the same time, I already spent a lot of time making that fanart. It would be a shame not to post my work.

But for some reason seeing my fanart get more love than my original works still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth given my past experiences.

I'm so overwhelmingly passionate about my own story and characters and I wish that it would receive the same praise that any fanart of mine would get.

But I feel so incredibly selfish for asking that. All of this. I've always had trouble putting myself first, my wants and my needs. I wish I didn't feel bad asking for the bare minimum. After all I do have friends and mutual who support and like what I do. I feel sick asking for more, but I feel sick being overshadowed by many who I've seen do much less.

This cloud of doubt has me questioning what I even want to do with OotS anymore. At first I wanted to make it a story, but after a few test runs and chapters I realized I should just leave the writing to my sister, who's miles better at it. Then I realized that it would be perfect as a comic book. All the art I make is super dynamic and expressive. But I got discouraged. I didn't want to make something that would require so many more hours if it would just get the same amount of attention as all my other stuff that took much less time. It's the same reason I have a hard time making animations anymore too. And all the equipment I want to get to make it at least a little more bearable and make the process faster is too expensive for someone in poverty living in an era of a financial and housing crisis.

I once had hoped to maybe turn art into a form of financial support. Maybe even to turn this passion project as a means of helping pay the bills. I set up commissions one point in time, but took them down after virtually no requests came in. It made me question my art's value. Did I set the bar too high? I felt like what I was asking for was reasonable. Other stuff that looked about the same quality as mine were asking for the same amount, if not a little more. I didn't want to low ball myself.

So I just didn't set commissions up again. I didn't even think about it until much later. But just when I considered it as an option again the NFT craze hit. I effectively went back into hiding, even moreso to protect my art. Once that fad had effectively died down I thought maybe, just maybe, I'll try again. And then the AI train hit. It hasn't slowed down. Commissioners buying taking WIP sketches and running them through a rendering program, artists having to make their own legal disclaimers to prevent alteration of their work, big companies pushing this as the new age of art... It was a risk I didn't want to take. And I still don't know where to value my art.

I don't want to turn one of my only coping mechanism into a source of stress with expectation. I thought of maybe opening a Kofi but started doubting my worth as an artist again not thinking I had anything of value to offer for Kofi. I overthink things and so far every idea I've had just seems dumb or so far out of reach that it becomes an impossibility...

..So that's where I'm at right now, unfortunately. The world is in flames. I'm held together by a thread. It feels hopeless and I'm so exhausted. I'm so burnt out that I'm in a position of powerlessness no matter what I do. I'm doing my best to hold on. I know it's a matter of biding my time but it's hard too when it feels like a thousand snakes and black bile are writhing millimeters below the surface of my skin. I feel like I'm laying down unable to get up and the slightest touch will make me explode into something corrosive.

I'm sorry to have dumped this here but I'm too poor for a therapist and directly reaching out to someone to talk about it makes me feel guilty for burdening them with problems completely unrelated to them. I don't need consolation, I just need things in my life to change for the better. I don't feel like I can lift myself anymore. Everything feels so far out of reach. I've been shouldering everything for so long and telling no one I was tired. Well.

I'm tired.

[mintaikk]

Can someone explain the difference between romantic attraction and just wanting to be friends with someone/gen?

My brain is too traumatized to experience any kind of romantic attraction bcuz I don't understand why you can't just be friends with someone and I'm always confused when people explain it to me bcuz what they explain is just a friend that they're physically attracted to, but even that doesn't make sense to me. Genuinely asking here

[iz0p0dz]

huughhhgh holy moly man!!!!!!!

[marblebubs]

Fuck it vampire yawny 🦇

[gemini-queen42]

Tmw Finale was rough last rehersal and you know DAMN well you've just been vaguely going with what the ppl around you are singing so now ur looking at ur script hoping that you'll suddenly be struck with the knowledge on how to Actually Read sheet music and that will fix everything.

[eggsrblue]

very very rough sketch of a design I plan on fleshing out :3

It's Leo Escobar but in fallout,,,

[decaydanceredacted]

can i horny post about the millionaires?

go for it!

[matoitech]

my therapist told me she’s a trauma therapist today which shocked me because she’s terrible at it

[fnafatfreddys-moved]

---food?

piece of (carrot?)cake in the corner! ^^

[hauntingblue]

This volume is called ace's introduction. Nothing more to say.

"You hire comedians here?" He is so funny....

Who's gonna tell him..... He literally will never get a break

Ace being so proud of Luffy not accepting to join and being a little shit... Also right here is where I got ROBBED of my acesan content.... Also he does fight whitebeard... In marineford... GOD!!!!!

GOOOD TAKE ME INSTEAD!!!! TAKE MEEEE!!!! AAAAHHHHHHHH

You cannot see me but I am on the floor on my knees and I am crying and sobbing and hitting my chest asking the gods to spare him

[sixthfinger]

accidentally getting too invested in something cringe is so me core