#not tagging any fandom because I’m not trying to start a brawl lol

[dreamer-grl]

Very unpopular opinion… I don’t think people should be putting fanfiction behind a paywall like Patreon… it’s giving the same vibes as Wattpad putting all those ads in their app and not being how it used to be… like don’t get me wrong I know why people do it. I will forever support a writer as a writer myself. However, fanfiction is supposed to be for fans. Like why restrict certain people from your craft because they can’t afford to support your work and others work monetarily.

[trilies]

"Safety” and KHR fandom

Lately, I’ve been seeing quite a few people in the main “khr” tag get really concerned about “safe” fandom events, and making spaces where there aren’t any “p/edo” ships. As a CSA survivor, I am reasonably invested when these sort of things pop up.... but not for the reason you think.

This is because I’ve yet to find a person who talks about these things that actually cares about real and living CSA survivors.

I can only speak of my own experiences, of course, but they’re so prevalent and reoccurring that I felt I should address the fandom as a whole about this. Hit “j” if you want to skip this for whatever reason. But I would appreciate it if you read this, because I feel this is starting to become a regular problem.

Because it is.

Now, I’m not going to make any claims on why these people are doing what they’re doing or saying what they’re saying. All I can say is that, from what I have witnessed with every single person who has cried “NO NASTY SHIPS” in the main khr tag, their response to actual CSA survivors ranges from dismissal to outright slurs.

Yes, that’s right: I have had a slur used against me when trying to discuss my problems with how some people have acted in the main khr tag:

[image: a set of tags including “get fucked lol” and “you’re a cunt”]

As a note, this conversation started because I suggested just blocking the R27 tag, noting that I don’t even like it myself, instead of them starting a brawl in the main tag like the OP was trying to do. Their response was to get hyper-aggressive, fling insults (slur included), and basically just scream at me over the internet.

Obviously, I myself am a biased source since I was involved in this conversation, but I’m fairly certain that I did not fling insults or slurs around at someone just because they didn’t agree with me. If there were other imperfections to my approach, well, I’m only human.... but I can guarantee that much.

Occasionally, they don’t get that outright aggressive. They’re simply passive-aggressive in their insults of CSA survivors who don’t immediately agree with them, and proceed to put words in those survivors’ mouths.

[image: text from the OP: “i just wanna find someone who likes reborn that isn’t a weirdo, like i promise that shipping p/edo/in/cest is not required to watch the show. u can be normal”]

[my response: “As a CSA survivor, please stop throwing around that term recklessly like this. Stop trying to fling the word “normal” around. Just stop. I can explain more of my reaction to you, if you want an actual discussion.”]

[OP’s response: an emoji, and then tags going “bro u can just say u wanna ship i/ncest and p/edo stuff. u dont have to bring up being a csa survivor promise it doesnt make sense.”]

This person really did outright say that they didn’t understand why a CSA survivor would mention their status as such in a discussion about p/edophilia. If you also cannot understand that, please ask, and I will explain.

And then you have the people who outright admit that they essentially don’t care about CSA survivors.

[image: an ask from myself that goes “As a CSA survivor myself, your “safe” khr rarepair week post really frustrates me, but especially moreso because your addition of “if you have a problem, don’t say anything” makes me feel as though you’re trying to duck out of any criticism or issues on your idea.”]

[op’s response: “i mostly said that so trolls would not overrun my askbox with hostility lol. if it frustrates u that’s ur problem and u can still participate in the original event.”]

As a note, this person’s post that I refer to made the claim that their event was meant to be a “safe space” for CSA survivors. Thus, one would think that their ears would be open when an actual CSA survivor approached them with the clear implication that their event was flawed how it was approaching its alleged goal.

One would not think that the response of a person who allegedly cares about CSA survivors would go “Well! That sounds like your problem”.

In my personal experience dealing with these types of individuals, the *best* result I’ve ever received was someone seeming to just block me and essentially bury my response on a post of theirs.

These are not the actions and responses of people who care about CSA survivors.

People who care about CSA survivors do not insult and fling slurs at those who disagree with them.

People who care about CSA survivors do not put words in their mouth and ignore their concerns.

People who care about CSA survivors do not say “That’s your problem” when approached on how they may be harmful in their attempts to be an ally.

So to people who are immediately drawn to posts claiming to be about “safety” and fighting against “p/edo ships”, be careful, especially my fellow CSA survivors. You are not guaranteed safety with them. You only have temporary access to a kind of safety, where you’re in the clear so long as you do not disagree with headcanons, or ships, or character interpretations.

This is just my experience in the KHR fandom alone on this subject; I have had terrible issues elsewhere too. As far as I can tell in this fandom on its own, there has not been a single vocal person who has been genuine in their alleged care towards CSA survivors both present and for the future.

At least, their own words and actions have certainly not implied as much.

I’m open to any genuine attempts at conversation, such as further details on the individual events of those screencaps (I kept things short since this is a long enough post already) or what exactly my problem is with their use of certain terms, etc, etc. However, that’s only if you come in good faith. I’m not tolerating any further slurs and the like.

The reason I made this post is because I want people to think critically about posts like these when they come up, and to take care so that they don’t end up in situations like I did. In my case, I at least knew there was a possibility of such negative reactions. If someone had a slur thrown at them just because they’d said the wrong thing by accident? That’d be terrible.

Take care and be safe in these tough times.

[viviansternwood]

So the absolute sweetest @blodreina-noumou tagged me to do this positivity meme that is about choosing your five favourite mutuals in the fandom and giving them all the love. I’m all for it, but five??? How am I supposed to leave it at that?

I mean since she was the one who tagged me, I’m perfectly within my right to talk about Steph. She appeared at the time when this fandom was basically drowning in Octavia hate and for some time I felt so lost because it seemed like I was the only person in the 100 fandom not only not hating her guts, but also trying to defend her. I kept posting positivity about Octavia and getting hate in response, but then Steph started reblogging my stuff and I was like, wait... There are people who love her, just like I do. I followed her, and it’s been amazing every since. She’s a very private person and tends to stay out of any fandom brawls, but she’s very good at just... being there for people, you know? So many times I would be having one of those moment when I just hated my life, and I’d post something about it not expecting anyone to read or care, and Steph would suddenly come out and say something that, if not necessarily fixing things, pushes me along on the path. And that’s what matters, doesn’t it? Someone who helps you make small steps through every day. Steph is an amazing person, and she has such an insight in people and characters, it’s wonderful. I think that’s what makes all her metas so good. Sweetie, thank you so much for following me and for being in this fandom. It would not be the same without you. <3

1. @daeneryskairipa

I honestly have so much love and respect for Linda. She is in a lot of fandoms, and she’s never caught up in any drama or negativity. She’s a very quiet, private and absolutely talented person, whose gifsets are something our fandom doesn’t deserve. Just when I started making gifs about a year ago, her edits were what I aspired mine to look like just because they’re so, so beautiful. I mean, if you’ve been following me for a while, you’ll know that I use her gifs for my headers more than anyone else’s. Also, fun fact, but just when I started giffing, I had no idea how tags worked, so I looked at Linda’s tagging system and basically adopted it (sorry Linda lol). Go follow her, she produces such amazing content, our fandom is blessed to have her. <3

2. @clarkgriffon

I think Mira will always take a special place in my heart because she was one of the very first people I spoke to in this fandom. I believe I had about 90 followers at the time, and I messaged her to tell her that her tags were hilarious because she would always not only tag them purposefully to systematise content, but also add her reactions and it made things so much better. Mira is also one of those people who will see or hear you say some small detail about yourself once and remember it, and then randomly bring it up in the conversation. She just cares about people and remembers. She’s one of the most unassuming people I know because she will give you advice on the things that bother you and won’t push for anything more than you’re prepared to give in that moment. And sometimes that’s the best we can do for others. Just be there for them. And I honestly think no one produces more content for our fandom (mainly Bellarke as well) than Mira does, for which, sweetie, thank you so much because there were so many moments when I just thought there was no more hope for Bellarke, but then I’d see one of your gifsets and feel better. Really, thank you, I’m so happy to know you!

3. @keiraknighted

The story behind why Emily followed me is funny. Apparently, she was so frustrated with Zaven because she just wasn’t feeling it and it seemed to her like literally no one else was shipping Murven, so she purposefully searched in the anti zaven tag and found me. So that’s when she followed me. And I remember I followed her because she had this cute icon from Anne With an E, and I’d been reading her fics for like two years before that, but it never clicked that she was the person writing them hahah.

Emily is an amazing person. She’s so warm and sweet and understanding, and she’s one of those people who will go out of their way to do something if you ask them to. Her fanfics basically got me through the hiatus. I always joke with her that she has this talent to make you feel second hand embarrassment like no one else does, and I stand by those words because she’s just that talented. She can portray a situation in a way that you feel so involved you want to die of embarrassment when the character is embarrassed, and it’s a beautiful thing! Please go check out her fics, I promise you, you will not regret it. My absolute favourite of all time (Emily is probably sick of hearing about it by now lmao) is Smoke Break, which, do yourself a favour and go read right now please!! 

Thank you so much for everything, sweetie! I don’t know what kind of fandom experience I would have without you, probably trash smh.

4. @daenerya

Luna is someone about whom I should talk a lot more because she’s become such a vital part of my life and my fandom experience that it’s crazy. Luna is someone who never gives up on people, for better or for worse. She’s probably one of the most loyal people I know, and if there’s something I respect and love and appreciate, it’s loyalty. She helped me get through one of the toughest moments in my life by being completely calm while I was panicking and having pretty much a mental breakdown, giving me invaluable advice and just being there for me. Thank you so much for that, sweetie, I will never forget it.

She is also such a positive person. She probably won’t admit this to save her life, but she has so much love and hope for this world and people in general. She’s open to everyone, absolutely loving and sweet and understanding. 

Her edits are beautiful because she’s so talented but also puts an incredible amount of effort in. She has such strong opinions that she is unapologetic about because she cares about people and stands up for them. 

5.@lameblake

When you follow Ali, you don’t just get a mutual. You automatically receive a friend. And it’s amazing. Ali is probably the most supportive person I know. Whatever you’re feeling, whatever you’re going through, however you deal with your issues, she’ll do her best to understand, accept it and help you get through your tough times. I honestly believe that she feels other people’s pain.

Please, go follow her. Give her all the love you can because she’s so, so deserving.

Honourable mentions,

for people who are just as important as the five mentioned above, but to whom I either haven’t spoken to a lot or haven’t talked recently because life got in the way:

@eternallyecho - for reaching out continuously, even if I’m being an antisocial ass, and for accepting and understanding me the way I am, believing that I know myself;

@easilydistractedbyfanfic - for being an endless flow of optimism and Murven content and support with all the random things I have asked your advice for;

@raven-reyes-of-sunshine for not only being there for me at the hardest of times, but also letting me do my best to be there for you because you definitely deserve all the love the world can give you and more!

@twinzmoon for being two little rays of sunshine who always want to make other people’s days better. Completely selfless and wonderful people deserving of the entire world;

@boomheda , @aproblematicpanda  and @sawyerblakes (actually not mutuals but this post would be a lie if I didn’t mention you) for being the proof that you don’t have to agree on every single thing to be friends with someone. Different interests don’t mean people can’t be kind and loving towards one another. Thank you guys, I love you three so much. You made my fandom experience bearable for the past year;

@pathokinessis for being a little ball of love and positivity who loves people without asking anything in return. Thank you, sweetie, you’re absolutely amazing and there’s no describing to how much I love and appreciate you!

P.S. If I haven’t mentioned you on this list, please don’t feel offended and remember that I love you and appreciate you.

[blademaster-banryu]

Tagged by: @gladiolus-amicitiia

Name/nickname: Prefer to go by Banryu or even Banny or whatever lol. Try to avoid going by my real name whenever possible out of paranoia/self-consciousness/whatever, even though there’s not really anything wrong with it...? I just like my online handle lol...

Relationship status: Married with a cute AF kid /)w(\

Favorite color: Green, specifically this shade. 

Pets: my kid /shot we have a cat named Waffles. He’s kind of an asshole (he’s a cat after all), but overall he’s one of the most well-behaved cats we’ve had!

Last song I listened to: I fell asleep listening to music last night so I’m not super sure, but I think the last one I heard while conscious was Celestial Temple by BrunuhVille?

Favorite TV show: Are we talking current or all-time? Current is definitely Steven Universe, but if we’re talking all-time then it’s a touch call; something between Batman: TAS, Avatar TLA, and maybe Game of Thrones. 

First Fandom: I’m gonna assume this means that you were an active/participatory part of...?? Because I liked the games from most of my primary fandoms but was largely solitary in terms of fans/discussion until quite late into the internet’s lifespan, but... I think the Pokemon fanbase is the first one I really started getting involved in, especially Smogon and the competitive scene lol. All is Brawl / the Smash Bros fandom might have been first? IDR

Hobbies: Mainly video games lol... Drawing if I have enough time/energy for it in between watching my kid and jobhunting and stuff haha... Ohh you know what, I suppose watching my kid might count. xD Did I mention he’s cute AF yet? Also, trying to get into DnD. Do also RP / write stuff with OCs with my wife quite a lot. A weird one is researching Digivolution-related things in Digimon, which is where @digivolutioncentral came from ahaha.

Books that I’m currently reading: I’ve been partway into starting A Dance with Dragons since... I think March of last year? I’m actually not sure where it is right now since that was before we moved lol... ;; I just need to make more of a priority of it.

Favorite book: Might be E.E. Knight’s Age of Fire series, specifically Dragon Champion and the other first two books. The later one got... kinda weird? and have all these weird editing mistakes?? Go figure. 

Worst thing you’ve ever eaten/tasted: Man this is hard for me because 1) I’m generally not TOO picky when it comes to food as long as it’s of passable quality, and 2) my memory is pretty shoddy. I’m gonna say... tuna sushi, I guess? That much raw fish is not for me ahaha... ;;

Favorite place: Man I dunno. It’s weird because like... I know the kinds of places I have specific affinity with (usually pretty, naturesy, green types of places), but like... I can’t think of any that I can specifically go to / actually go to ever. I have trouble choosing ‘favorite’ things OTL...

Aright, time to tag people I guess? You’re supposed to do 10 but IDK if I know that many people who I have reciprocal interactions with haha... 

@juakianako @tamqtran @kitteakat01 @alagaesha @buccura @tacorosso @noctuart @hornedfreak @thetictactician 

So like do it if you want, but I’m not gonna hold a gun (metaphorical or otherwise) to your head if you don’t feel like it lol. No pressure ~u~