#not sure if we'd go to a fancy party or just hang out at home

[heartbeetz]

FINALLY midnight in my time zone. Michael was my new years kiss last year... this year it gets to be Sparky :]♡

[a-heart-attack-ow]

The Arrangement. Part Thirteen

Part Twelve

Part Thirteen:

Over time I’d perfected the manicured image. 

The perfect wife and mother. 

Without missing a beat. 

A modern day princess, wrapped up in the perfect clothing. The perfect wedding rings and currated photoshoots. If I was being honest, I didn’t know if I would ever get used to this. All of the handshaking. The fake confidence that I forced myself to exude. Internally, I was sure I’d have been better at this by now, that I wouldn’t be phased by the fancy dresses. 

The madness. 

The money. 

The faces of men in suits who held power they shouldn’t have. 

The truth was, I hadn't gotten any better at being the wife of Colby Brock. Not even after three and a half years of marriage. Not even having a child together. I still felt as out of place as I ever did. I tried to not be bothered by the looks on everyone's faces when I walked into the room, looks of praise from people I hadn't ever meant to impress. I breathe a sharp breath as I walk into the party, cascades of red and black flowers flowing over the ceiling. The chandeliers offer the only indication that there's a roof above our heads. I keep my eyes forward as I walk along the marble floors, my shoes silent because of the music blasting over the speakers. Colby was somewhere in this mess of people, but I wasn't going to bother looking for him. Instead I looked for the bar, my eyes scanning over the crowd until I found it tucked into the corner of the room. I'd never been to this mansion before today, but it was bigger than any home I'd ever been in before. Colby had rented mansions like this out once a month for these lavish parties. After we'd moved from our old home to the cottage there wasn't room for this many people. 

Not that we wanted them in our space. 

I swallow hard when I catch a glimpse of Katrina, Kris, and Celina at the bar. Sam on the other side of Katrina, their shoulders brushing. Somehow, we always ended up here together. A band of misfits that didn't enjoy the black tie affair or the nauseating excess of wealth. 

"Ah there's our girl, looking as hot as ever."

Katrina says loudly over the music as she turns to face me. The dress Celina had picked out for me was a sexy, tight, burgundy dress. A mermaid fit, strapless, with a sweetheart neckline that really pushed up my breasts. Hanging tight on every curve. The dress was eye-catching and I could tell by the way men stared at me as I walked by. Not caring that my husband was somewhere in the crowd. 

"Thanks Kat, but if I had it my way, I'd be in sweats and holding my baby."

I join them at the bar, pulling up a seat next to Celina. She smiles and nods in agreement, we'd all rather be anywhere but here. Thinking of my daughter, I feel a twinge of sadness and a bigger sense of guilt. I hated leaving her at home with a sitter. I hated not being with her, even if it was only for a few hours. 

"I think we'd all rather be home with Eleanor. Do you think Brock will notice if we sneak off?"

Kris states lifelessly before taking a shot, slamming the glass down on the counter top. My friends did love my daughter and came over multiple times a week to spend time with her. Sometimes I was convinced they didn't like me anymore and only wanted to see my baby. I gesture to the bartender who looks me up and down, a smirk forming as he studies me closely. He was the same bartender we'd hired for our monthly events and by now he was fully aware of my order without me saying a word. I didn't know what it was about the men at these events, the way they looked at me like I was up for grabs. I didn't know if it was because they actually thought I looked good or if it was because of the fame I now had. Gone were the days of shy Emilia who didn't know her way around the traditions of the family I married into. In the years that had passed I'd become an expert and sought to grow further from just being Colby Brock's wife. I did interviews, rubbed elbows with famous men and women who'd all supported my charity endeavors. In the past two and a half years I'd made a name for myself within my family. I no longer relied on coaching from anyone and that's how I wanted it to be. Katrina still helped with PR, but her role had turned into more of a friendship than a working relationship. I found a sort of confidence in myself over the past few years and maybe that's what attracted the men at these parties.

The desire to break me.

I give the bartender a smile when he hands me my drink, his phone number on the napkin under my drink. 

His fifth attempt to give it to me over the months he'd been employed with us. 

I roll my eyes and down the champagne flute in seconds. God I wanted to go home. 

"In this dress he would notice her absence for sure."

I shoot Sam a glare as he puts his hands up in defense. In the years that had passed he and Katrina had found their way back to one another. Something that I thought was really sweet, because the way that they looked at each other made my heart melt. Instead, Sam and I had gone back to being friends. Friends who still hated these parties. 

"I haven't even seen him since I got here. We rode separately because I had a work thing that ran longer than expected. I doubt he even knows I'm here."

I rasp as the bartender gives me another glass of my usual. This time I don't bother looking at him, out of fear he'll send me another suggestive smirk. I keep my eyes on Sam who laughs while wrapping an arm around Kat's shoulder. 

"You know, that he's fully aware of your every movement right? He probably knew you were here the second your stiletto touched the ground outside."

A smile finds my lips when he says this ridiculous comment. Even though a part of me knows it's true, because he always seemed to keep tabs on me no matter where I was. With anyone else, I might think it was a little possessive, but with Colby I knew it was only because he worried about me going out on my own. 

"Ooh ominous." 

Is my only reply, sarcasm evident in my voice. A tone that earns a laugh from my friends. I had been so good at doing what was asked of me for so long that occasionally I couldn't help but be a little sarcastic. Maybe a little bitter that I'd been performing for as long as I have been. I try not to let the thought naw at me too much. I wouldn't trade any of this for the world because I was so in love with the life I'd built with Colby, but there were times when I felt like I was being tested for a quiz I didn't study for. I can see Sam try to formulate a response but doesn't bother when he sees someone come from behind me. Glancing over my shoulder I lock eyes with Johnnie who gives me a shy smile. 

"Colby needs to see you upstairs. Said he doesn't want to be kept waiting." 

My jaw clenches at the demand, mentally I can hear the tone of his voice. Colby never liked to be kept waiting and I'd spent years spoiling him by being obedient to his every whim. Whims that I would challenge it if I didn't already know what was waiting for me upstairs. 

What he was planning to do to me upstairs. 

"Thank you for telling me, Johnnie." 

I breathe the words, anticipation creeping its way up my spine. I give my friends one last glance before complying with where I was told to be. Slowly pulling myself away from the bar and back through the sea of people. I can feel myself unable to ignore the way my body pulls myself through the crowd of people with newfound determination. I can't bring myself to care about the other people watching me or whatever they think of me. Instead, I mindlessly walk myself up the stairs of the mansion, feeling dozens of eyes boring into my back with each step forward. Or the way the crowd murmurs amongst themselves as I reach the top of the stairs, everyone seeming to know where I was going. 

And who I was going to. 

What I was going to do to him. 

At the top of the stairs, I see a door directly across from the landing, the door opened a crack. Glancing to my left and then to my right I notice that all of the other doors are closed except this one. So I use that as my sign that this was the room I'd been summoned to. With trembling legs, I step forward, my hands pushing the door open. I take a few steps inside of the room, noting that it's empty. I hear the door close behind me and that's when I'm aware that I'm not alone. I don't turn to face the culprit behind the door closing. I don't need to because I can feel him behind me, his aura electric. I breathe a slow shallow breath and stare at the curtains on the windows directly in front of me. The room we are in looks like a random guest bedroom, not big enough to be the master. In the center of the room, up against the windows is the queen sized mattress. I keep my posture straight as I feel his fingertips go along my spine, lightly enough to cause chills to go up my spine. I feel his eyes on me as he takes me in, appreciating all of the hard work Kris and Celina put into me looking presentable. I smell his cologne, as he stands behind me. His chest against my back, his breath on my neck. He hums in approval as I lean into him. 

"Well, look at you darling. You clean up nice."

I can't help my smile to myself, his lips light along my collarbone. 

"That's just because when you normally see me I'm covered in marker or dirt or whatever else our daughter gets into." 

Along my skin I feel him smile, breathing against me as he thinks about what I've said. It was true, 99 percent of the time I was covered in something gross. It had been that way since Eleanor was born. Babies had a way of being messy little humans and there was no way around it. He chuckles darkly. 

"True, my god does she get into everything..."

He pauses, kissing along my neck. My eyes flutter closed at the contact, his arms wrapping around my waist as I lean back to give him as much access to my neck as possible. Lightly, I feel his tongue dance over my skin, marking me with each gentle suck. I feel my lips part as I focus only on him and the way he's making me feel in this moment. My breathing is uneven and desperate for whatever else he has planned. He hums as his fingertips toy with the zipper of my dress, not wasting a second before dragging the zipper down, the dress falling onto the floor around my feet. The cool air of the room causes my nipples to harden without the safe confines of my built in bra. He slides his hands down from my waist to the top of my lace underwear, toying with the fabric. 

"... I see you're wearing the new underwear I bought you." 

My head feels fuzzy as he slowly drags the fabric down my legs at a cruelty deliberate pace. His head remains in the crook of my neck as he does this, lips never leaving my throat. I reach around, my fingers in his hair. I try to ground myself in reality as I knot my fingers in his hair. I feel his hand slide in between my thighs, fingertips grazing my clit. His middle finger traces the sensitive bud, my knees buckling for a second as his arm holds me in place. I feel my breath immediately grow uneven as he rubs slow circles. 

“My baby doll is so needy. I fucked you this morning, but you’re acting like you’re touch starved.” 

His voice is deeper, his lips remaining light on my throat. He slides his middle finger inside of me, curled and ready to inflict maximum damange. Inside of me, he feels good, my head tilting back against his chest. My eyes flutter closed and a moan brushing past my lips quietly. He lifts his lips from my throat, his head resting on my head as he holds me, finger fucking me without apology. He adds another finger and groans in satisfaction at the mess he’s made of me. Around his fingers, I feel my walls tighten around him. 

“Can I cum on your fingers daddy?”

I whisper in heated breaths, my question pulsating through the silence. Something snaps inside of him whenever I call him this. Something feral and fucking glorious. 

“Do it baby doll.”

He growls, his fingers thrusting further inside of me at a faster pace. Unrelentlessly daring me to do what we both want me to. I feel the nerves building, my walls tightening around him violently, my legs shaking. He holds me up, aware that my legs will give out if he doesn’t. He kisses the side of my head, his eyes never leaving me as he watches me fall apart on his fingers. I can’t think as I release, cum coating his fingers. When I finish and my chest is still heaving, he pulls his fingers out of me. Turning my head to face him, I watch him lick his fingers clean, my stomach flipping in excitement. 

A sight I could watch all day. 

“Fuck Colbs.”

I whisper, my breathing still unrecovered. He chuckles, his hands pulling my lace underwear back up legs. He slaps my ass once it’s covered causing me to laugh as I turn to face him. He looked so good dressed in a suit, his blue eyes piercing me through the dimmed light of the room. He looks at my body, taking in the sight of me. He reaches out to cup my breasts in his hands.

“If I wasn’t expected downstairs in five minutes, I would touch every inch of you.” 

He sighs, wishing we weren’t on a time limit. Without wasting another moment he slowly turns me away from him, leaning down to slide my gown back up my body. He zips me back into it and kisses the side of my head once more. I glance over my shoulder and give him look of sympathy. Becoming the head of a company had pros and cons. One of those cons was that he always had to entertain the assholes in suits downstairs. He moves his body from mine and I turn to face him once more more. His eyes suddenly look tired as he really studies the dress Celina had picked for me. 

Like the men downstairs. 

He approves. 

“I need to give Kris and Celina a raise.” 

A smile tugs at the corners of my lips, my arms folding across my chest. Sometimes, under his gaze, I felt like he was seeing me for the first time. Not that I was complaining, it was a strange spark that made everyday with him feel more special. I lean into him, my hands finding either side of his face. I study him and breathe a deep sigh. 

“They’ll laugh when I tell them that.” 

He places his hands over the top of mine. Gentle as he rubs his fingertips lightly along my skin. Neither of us wanted to be here, but we knew the price of our roles. The price of the life we maintained. 

“Walk with me to join the party?”

He asks pulling back, his hand outstretched to hold mine. Without speaking I take his hand and let him guide me out of the room. The moment we emerge from the room, the silence that had fallen over the guests falters. The faint chatter resuming when they no longer want to try and sneak a listen to their fearless leader.

And whatever he’d been doing to his wife upstairs.

I keep my eyes forward, Colby slightly in front of me as he pulls me towards the landing. Upon reaching the top of the stairs, the camera flashes start. The meeting of madness starting with careful documentation. The fake smiles find our faces with each step down the stairs. The flashes only growing more unstable with each step forward. We pause at the bottom of the stairs, eyes locked on the photographers. 

Posing 

Like we’d always been trained to. 

After a few minutes my cheeks hurt. Colby raising a hand, a gesture that meant for them to stop. 

Or else. 

When the photographers disipate the careful gazes of our guests come into sight. In a blur of flashing lights that lingered long after they’d ceased in my eyes. Colby looks at the men, the pompous look he wore around the men he worked with etching into his face. I don’t listen to him speak as he addresses the mindless businessmen. I only stare at him with a fake look of support, my eyes trained to fain interest. When he finishes speaking he takes his leave, steping off the final step. He joins the party and I am quick to walk back towards the bar where my friends still lingered. I notice the way they look back at me when I weave through the people, the party starting. I keep my focus on my friends, but pause when I see someone in the crowd that I hadn’t expected to be there. 

The woman from the garden.

Colby’s ex that he’d spoken to while I watched on helplessly. The same day that our lives changed forever. Seeing her now, long black hair loose and in a tight dress, looking like a flawless ghost that I thought I’d repressed. My brow furrows for a moment, her brown eyes locking onto mine. The shy demenor she had the day in the garden was nonexistent here in the belly of the beast. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what to think, and I don’t know what it means. The same woman he’d told to stay away was in attendence? Suddenly, my stomach drops and I hear the ghost of my mother-in-law’s voice in my head.

‘One day he will do what they all do. And you need to be prepared for it.’ 

‘I just want you to understand your role once Colby decides he wants to play with someone new.’

‘You’ll be expected to endure it. You’ll be expected to stand by him and love him, even if he starts fucking someone else’

Rationality doesn’t find me as I feel my stomach turn. How was it that my mother-in-law was able to haunt me so thoroughly when she’d been dead for three and a half years? How was that fair. I’m so inside of my head that I don’t notice that the woman has moved her way over to me. Close enough for me to reach out and touch her. 

“Emilia.”

She says my name, her voice light and soft. For a moment the jealousy and anxiety of what her prescence could mean eats away at me.  Unable to respond for a moment. 

“Y-yes.”

I whisper, my lips parting despite wanting to remain silence. 

“I need you to listen to me before he finds out I’m here.” 

The composure she once had fades as she pulls herself closer to me. Her hands reaching out to rest on my waist as she moves her lips to the side of my head. So she can whisper in my ear without anyone hearing her. 

“The men here, members of the Brock family estate, they’re plotting something big. Something bad.”

I feel my breathing hitch. 

“What are you talking about?”

I whisper back. 

“The board members, Sam, Colby, they’ve been up to something big. My father is a member of the board and I know they’re doing something illegal. Something that will make them a lot of money.”

I don’t know if I believe her, but when I feel her slide a flash drive drive into my hands I feel like there might be some truth to what she’s saying. 

“He’s not like them.” I rasp more to myself than to her, a statement that causes her to grip on me to tighten. As if she’s trying to make me believe her through her touch alone. 

“Maybe, but he’s allowing the board to do this without fighting them. I’m telling you this because you seem like a good woman. I don’t want you to get hurt like I d-”

She doesn’t get to finish speaking before I feel her grasp get pulled away from me. Forcibly, Corey pulls her away from me, his eyes serious as he tries to be gentle. Jake joins him, taking the otherside of the woman, gentle but firm as he pulls her away from me. I look on in horror at my friends dragging her. 

“Please, we were just speaking....” 

I raise my voice, making sure that they don’t notice the flash drive she’s slipped into my hands. 

“...You don’t have to drag her out.”

Both men give me a look, a momentary pause. Normally, when I gave a direction they listened, but today they seemed to be under other orders. 

His.

I give the woman a look of sympathy and attempt to reach out for her. To help her somehow, but when I move forward I feel an arm wrap around my waist. An arm that holds me still to the spot. I glance over and feel my heart drop when I lock eyes with Colby. His face is serious, to anyone else it would look like he was worried about me and getting the woman as far from me as possible, but I see through that. He’s serious because he knows he’s too late. 

She told me too much.

I keep my face innocent, looking at him without any indication that I knew anything. A doe-eyed look that normally landed me in his bed for hours. A look that causes him to swallow hard for a moment before pulling his eyes to the woman being carried out of the party. His grip tighter on me as we watch on in silence, his fingertips rubbing slow circles on my skin. Around us, others look on in horror, but without surprise. 

As if they expected her to snap. 

Like they’ve seen it before.

–

An hour later I’m pushing open the door to the cottage. My eyes focused on finding my daughter.

Home Sweet Home.

Eleanor is sat in the middle of the living room, playing with building blocks with Nate. Nate had gotten babysitting duty, but from the massive smile on his face he didn’t seem to mind. Instead he sat with her on the floor with toy hair curlers in his hair and a fairy god mother wand. It’s a sweet sight and I needed it after whatever the hell I’d witnessed at the party. Whatever the hell was on the USB that I slipped into my clutch without anyone noticing. I smile at Nate when his eyes move to me, a grin on his face as he gestures to his hair. 

“Nelly did my hair, what do you think?”

He asks proudly, something that makes Eleanor giggle. 

“It’s the best you’ve ever looked.” I feel myself freeze when I hear Colby’s voice from behind me. I’d ridden home with him promptly after the events at the party, but after what she said I didn’t know if I wanted to be near him. I didn’t know what she meant but I knew that I wouldn’t like it. He closes the gap between us, his arm wrapping around me once more. He’d been extra handsy since the interuption at the party, like he knew that I knew something I shouldn’t. Like he was trying to smooth out any disruption that had formed in the wake of her truth. I pull away from him and move to where Eleanor is sitting on the floor, lifting her little body off of the ground and holding her close. 

“Tell Uncle Nate, thank you for coming to watch you.”

I tell my daughter, my tone soft as I shoot Colby a look that tells him he needs to dismiss Nate so we can speak. Nelly gives me a big grin and leans her head against my chest. 

“Thank you Uncle Nate. I had fun.”

Her small voice always makes my heart ache, she’s just so cute, sweet, and I love her more than anything. I give the top of her head a kiss, and give Nate a smile before walking down the hallway, my daughter waving goodbye over my shoulder. I don’t look back, I just carry us into my daughter’s room. 

“Mama, are you okay?”

Eleanor asks me quietly, her small fingers finding the tips of my hair. She plays with the strands as I hold onto her. Suddenly I don’t feel okay. Suddenly I’m freaked out by what happened or what it could mean. I didn’t want to think of what Colby was up to and if he was keeping something from me. I knew he didn’t tell me everything because he rarely talked about his work. Instead, he focused on what I was up to with my charity work. There had been an unspoken deal that we’d made when I decided to do good things with my position of power. He did whatever he needed to and I tried to undo it with doing good things. 

Like some sort of tug of war. 

“Yes, baby I’m alright. I just didn’t like being away from you for so long.” 

I’m not lying, going out made me miss her like crazy. Especially when it came to going out to parties. Parties I didn’t need to go to. It was always the same rich assholes that my husband prioritzed. I give the top of her head another kiss and hold in any emotions that I’d been left feeling. 

“I miss you too.”

She whispers, her little face peering up at me. She looked like Colby, she had his eyes and the same little pout he had. She had our dark brown hair, but had my nose. She is beautiful, kind, and perfect. I breathe a sigh as she yawns, rubbing her eyes. She was up later than her normal bedtime. 9:00 p.m. being well over an hour past her normal schedule. 

“You want to go to bed?”

I ask her, quietly, her head giving me a faint nod as her eyes close. Her ability to fall asleep on cue was impressive and I envied her for it. I bring her to her bed, and lay her down. Her fingers still entwined in my hair. 

“Can you sing me a goodnight song daddy?”

She asks, her eyes opening for a moment as she looks behind me. Where he stands, one hand on the door knob as he watches his two girls. His tie is loose, his face soft as he looks at Eleanor. She had him wrapped around her fingers and he would do anything for her. Including singing lullibies that he’d learned through her favorite cd he played in the car with her. She gives me a smile when I lean down to kiss her little cheeks. 

“I love you Nellie.” 

I whisper, standing up and glance over at Colby. His eyes focus on me more serious than before when he realizes I’m not staying with him while he sings to her. I don’t give him a look back, I ignore him as I pass him, my hand brushing his for a moment. He huffs out in frustration before walking over to our daughter’s bed. He sits on the side of the bed and I watch him brush her hair out of her face as he starts to sing to her. He had a beautiful voice, a talent he might’ve been able to pursue if his parents hadn’t forced him into the family business. But I try not to let the beauty of his voice distract me from being pissed. 

Instead, I walk from the nursery and move towards our bedroom. Once inside I undo the zipper of my gown and step outside of it. Laying it on top of the hamper on my side of the room. Absentmindedly I take off my jewlery and put my heals back on the shoe rack. I need to unwind but am unsure of how I can. I remember that the flash drive is in my purse, but I decide to deal with that later. I decide that I need to talk to him and see what he tells me. See if he tells me the whole truth or if he leaves stuff out. I slip into my night dress, its silky fabric hanging on every curve of my body. An outfit change that catches Colby’s eyes when he finally joins me in our bedroom. 

At the door, he closes us in and watches me as his fingers turn the lock. He takes a step forward and I take a step backward. Tension falls over us, thick enough to cut. The united front we’d built for the last three and a half years, seemingly broken after one evening. 

“What the fuck happened tonight Colby?”

I ask, my voice cold and controlled. A tone that doesn’t match my face, my doe-eyes seemingly making me less threatening. He smirks, his hands toying with his tie. Pulling the fabric off and falling to the floor. He undoes the each cuffling and his jacket. Shoes tossed to the side. His belt resting on top of his hamper. I don’t look away as he takes his pants off, his hardened cock causing me to squeeze my thighs together.

“What did Shea tell you?”

He asks, his button-up shirt falling to the ground. He looks at me smugly now that he’s fully naked in front of me. Fuck, did he look good. He always looked fucking good. 

“You’re doing something illegal.”

I whisper, his smirk growing. Without missing a beat he takes another step forward, mine another step back from his. He reaches out to grab my arm when he realizes that I have no intention of letting him corner me. 

Deciding to take what’s his. 

My body is flush against his within seconds, my nightdress pulled from my body. His hands are on either side of my face, his lips inches from mine as he gazes down at me. The arrogance in his face, my body always putty in his hands. 

“I’m doing what the board wants me to do. If I don’t they could vote me out of my position and do worse. I’m doing the best I can to appease them and keep them under control at the same time. It’s an impossible job, but I’m trying.”

My eyes dart from his to his mouth. 

To those fucking lips.

“I saw her that day in the hedge maze. I never told you that your mother dragged me out there because she wanted me to see you both and to tell me that it was my job to let you fuck other women. I saw how you treated her. We’d been watching you when that man came up behind us and shot your mom.”

His jaw tightens at my admission. The fact that I’d never told him in the past three and a half years. I was over here angry that he’d been up to something but was I any better? I couldn’t be sure. I’d kept it to myself because I didn’t want to hurt him in the middle of his grieving of his parents. A gasp escapes me as he holds me firmer. 

“You’re grilling me about keeping things from you when you’ve been doing the same? My baby doll is a hypocrite.”

He chuckles darkly, his hands moving from the side of my face. He pulls back, before kneeling down before me. Sliding my underwear off for the second time this evening. His hands are on my thighs, his eyes locked on me. 

“I didn’t want to hurt you. How is that the same as doing something illegal?”

The question comes out in a whimper as he stands up and lifts me up off of the ground. Wrapping my legs around his waist, as he carries me toward our bed. He growls as he pins me beneath him, his hardened cock grinding against the wet folds of my needy sex. My body betraying me with an eagerness for him to be inside of me. 

“Semantics Emilia.”

He groans aligning with me and pushing into me full tilt. A moan escapes me as my back arches into him. He lingers frozen as his cock savors the way my walls fit around him. Like two puzzle pieces always meant to be connected. 

“How illegal is this?”

I whimper as his lips move to my nipple, his teeth lightly pulling. His cock slides in and out of me with such force and eagerness that I can’t ignore the bliss of feeling him fuck me. I wrap my legs around his waist as he thrusts inside of me, stretching me out in the way that only he could. A hand wraps around the breast he’s not teasing with his mouth. A grip of tight satisfaction that I knew would bruise. 

In the way that I liked it to.

I close my eyes when his lips move from my nipple, to the valley of my breasts. Light kisses trailing up and down. 

“I can’t tell you.” 

He grinds himself deep inside of me, penatrating me deeper. A sensation that forces my jaw to clench. Fuck did it feel so good. Despite myself I’m overjoyed that I’m in his bed even if I was doing a shitty job of getting to the bottom of my interrogation. I’d never made it as a detective if a great cock was all that it took to silence me. 

“Colby.” A warning that I don’t have any authority to invoke. A warning that he laughs off as he peers up at me from the valley of my beasts, where he’s formed a sea of hickeys. An area that I could hide from peering eyes. 

“Emilia.”

He growls, another thrust, his hips unrelenteless as he fucks me deeply. His warning tells me that I need to stop asking. But I need to know what Shea had meant because if it was something terrible it had to be stopped. His hands move to my hips, lifting them in a new angle so he can fuck me deeper. His eyes close as he savors me, memorizing how tight I am and how my walls start to clench around him. I’m going to cum soon and he knew it. 

“Daddy please. I need to know.”

I plea knowing full well what my words will do. If he wanted to play dirty I could do it too. His eyes open as he glances down at me, his eyebrows raised. Not believing I’m being so persistent. I half expect him to be annoyed, but he’s not. He’s turned on.

Like he always fucking is. 

Like he always made me feel whenever we were together.

“Cum for me and I might tell you.”

His words are a command. Amusement in his eyes as he fucks me deeper. His thrusts still in rhythm even though they get sloppier the closer he gets to his own high. I arch into him, moaning as my walls tighten unrelentlessly. I cum all over his cock and when I do I feel him slam as far into me as he can holding me as he finishes. His cock shooting his seed deep inside of me. He holds himself there as his cock twitches a few more times before he pulls out of me. 

I lay there, head spinning as he watches me. Satisfied by how good he felt and how good he knew I felt. 

“The board has a secret perscription that they’re working on pushing out before it's ready. I’ve been trying to get them to test it properly, but they’ve been giving the drugs to our workers. There are severe reactions to the drug including severe hallucinations. The man who killed my parents, the disgruntled worker, had been taking the drugs when he went after my parents. He’d been hallucinating all sorts of shit and blamed my parents for it. I really can’t tell you anything else Emilia. I’m not trying to be difficult, if the board found out you knew, you could be hurt. I’m not risking that.” 

I look over at him and sigh. I didn’t want to know more, not when I needed to stay safe for our daughter. I knew that the company my husband inherited was complicated. But I also knew that I was only here to help use our positions to help people. The drama with Shea had detrailed me and derailed the safey net I’d built with Colby. We’d gotten to a really good place over the years. We had more good days than bad and for a moment someone had wedged between that and I let it. 

“She gave me a flash drive. With information on it. It’s in my clutch.” 

I whisper matter-of-factly. Noting the look of shock that overtakes his face. Seemingly impressed that I hadn’t told him sooner. 

“I’ll watch it with you.” 

He states lifelessly as if he already knows what’s on it. My brows furrow as I study him. 

“I never said it was a video.” 

He nods, looking away from me. He sits up in the bed, glaring at the wall in front of him. 

“You don’t need to. It’s an old video I made with her. She’s been shopping it around for a while. I’ve had to pay off many people to keep it quiet. Because it would ruin our image.”

I sit up, feeling dread quickly fall over me. Unsure of what’s he implying. 

“If this gets out, everyone will know our relationship started off as an arranged marriage. People would lose their shit and not trust us. They’d know everything we built had started out as lie. It won’t matter that we’ve turned it into a truth.”

I feel the weight of his words when he says this, realizing that the media finding out we’d started out as a lie would make everything we’d done feel like a lie. Like we weren’t trust worthy and that it would break up the work we’d put into making a change. 

“What did you do?”

I ask him, an accusatory tone in my voice without meaning it to. He doesn’t want to look at me, but wills himself to. His eyes soft once again. 

“I filmed a sex tape with her the night before we got married. I tell her that I’ll always love her even if I’m in an arranged marriage. I tell her that multiple times throughout the video. I thought she deleted it, she promised she did, but the last few weeks she’s been threatening me with it.”

I feel a pang of betrayal even though he didn’t cheat on me. I just can’t understand how someone could tell another person that and then go fuck someone else the next night. How could he tell her that and then fuck me? How could he sleep at night knowing he’d hurt her like that? I get up from the bed swiftly, my body feeling dirty suddenly. Used. Like I’ve done something wrong. 

Even though I knew we hadn’t. 

Even though I wouldn’t change a single thing. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

I ask, mentally remembering the woman who’d been at the house party the night after we got married. The woman he’d been whispering to, so close their lips almost touched. The woman who I hadn’t realized was Shea until now, because that night I was tipsy. I was devestated and married to an asshole only 24 hours before. But now I see it, I see her. She’d been there from the beginning. I know Colby realizes I’m upset. I see it on his face as I grab my robe off the corner of my nightstand where I’d drapped it earlier. 

“She was there the night Sam punched you in the head...” 

I am breathless. 

“...The girl you told me you were only talking to. The girl you’d fucked two nights before.”

I am reeling. He looks ashamed with himself, his eyes suddenly unable to look at me. I sigh and decide that I can’t be here right now. Not in the same room as him, not right now. 

“I’m going to sleep in Nellie’s room tonight. I can’t look at you right now.” 

My words are piercing and I see it on his face. I know he’s hurt but I know that staying here might make me forgive him instantly. I know all it will take is for him to say something sweet and I’ll fall right into his grasp mindlessly. 

And right now I needed to let myself be angry. 

Even if it killed me to do it.