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azucar-skull · 3 months ago

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H(a)unted

(written for @tmnt-write-fight for @lavadragon365)

Fandom: Rise of the TMNT (Post movie)

Prompt: Halloween, the one night a year where the boys can go to the surface without hiding from humans.

Word Count: 1919

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The single greatest day of the year! Right next to the Lair Games, Thanksgiving, and his birthday. There’s nothing Mikey loves more than Halloween. But what makes Halloween so special?

Is it the spooks? Hell no. Mikey detests the idea of horror and blood, and pizza supreme forbid…ghosts. Is it the free candy? Mmmm… Mikey can have as much free candy as he wants with the power of his puppy dog eyes and the fact his brothers and he have been stealing for food to get their groceries. It’s much easier than you think.

So what is it?

The costumes. Or better yet, the lack thereof of needing one. This is the one time of the year that Mikey gets to walk the streets freely with his brothers and get to just…be. And Halloween is now just around the corner and Mikey just can’t wait to—

“We’re not going out this year.”, Donnie spat when Mikey strided into the kitchen and showed his brothers the layout they should take for trick-or-treating.

“What?!”, Mikey squawks. “What are you talking about, Dee?”

“Donnie’s right. It’s not safe, right now.”, Raph chimes in. “The invasion was only 2 months ago. Streets are still being prepared, everyone is still on edge, and not to mention that EPF guy is still after us. We gotta lay low.”

“But for how long?! We’ve been cooped up in the same smelly old subway lair for weeks and I can’t take it anymore, I think I’m gonna just explode from pure boredom!”, Mikey groans in annoyance. “Pretty sure I remember Donnie saying something about how box turtles hate captivity.”

“Hey, don’t twist science against me, Michael.”, Donnie points a finger.

“What if we wore disguises?”, Leo suggests. “I mean, everyone else is doing it. We can just hide in plain sight.”

“The whole point of this holiday is that we don’t have to!”, Mikey stomps his foot against the ground. “I’m tired of hiding! I just want to be me!”

The others are quiet. They look away, frowning in their own volitions. Raph sighs, putting his foot down.

“Sorry, Mikey. Maybe next year.”

Mikey balls his fists so tight that his knuckles turn white. He turns on his heel and storms out of the kitchen, hurrying back to his room before his brothers could see him start to cry.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The evening of Halloween arrives and Mikey’s so-shell feed is full of people out and about having fun. Meanwhile Mikey is stuck in his room, stuffing his face full of whatever last-minute Halloween candy bag was left at the store. It’s not fair. He wants to join the fun. But his brothers don’t want to go.

…

Wait, so why doesn’t Mikey just go by himself?

Shit, why didn’t Mikey think of that earlier? He can just head out, have his fun, get some candy, and come back as if nothing happened. Sure, his brothers will be mad that he snuck out, but once they see that everything’s fine, they’ll be the ones who are jealous that they didn’t get to go. Yeah, that’ll teach them.

So fuck it! Why not? Mikey springs out of the hammock, yanking the pillowcase off his pillow and heading out the door. Now he just needs to get out of here without anyone—

“Mikey?”

Mikey quickly bolts, using his ninja prowess to wall jump up and hide in the support beam on the ceiling. Talk about reflexes, huh? He spots Leo hurrying over to his room.

“Mikey, look, we’re sorry we can’t go out this year. I know you’re pretty bummed about it.”, Leo calls out as he peers into the room. “I-I was thinking we could watch a Halloween movie? Doesn’t have to be scary, we could binge some of those stop-motion ones you like. …Mikey?” Leo looks around the subway car before walking back out. He looks around once more before leaving from whence he came.

Phew, that was close. Mikey hops back down before scurrying off in the other direction. He makes his way through the sewer tunnel entrance, dashing through the waterfall before it could soak him. Then he heads up the abandoned subway stairs, towards the sounds of laughter and screams. And the streets…

The streets are beautiful.

Filled with people and creatures of all different shapes and sizes. A crowd flock down the street, cheering as they show off their creations. Little kids run around coated in blinking lights and glow sticks to help them find their way in the dark. Orange lights decorate the streets and balconies of apartments. A chilly autumn breeze shakes the withering colorful leaves on the trees as the smell of sweets flood Mikey’s senses. And just as he expected, no one bats an eye at the peculiar orange turtle. For he is right where he belongs.

“Hey, love the costume!”, a purple skeleton smiles with glowing yellow eyes and wearing a grim reaper outfit.

“Thanks! You look cool too!”, Mikey beams back.

“Just an FYI, the large candies are almost out. So you better get to it.”

“Got it! Thanks for the tip!”, Mikey nods as he heads off towards the richer neighborhoods.

Door after door, Mikey is met with smiling, welcoming faces instead of horrid and wary ones. Showered with compliments and pinching on the cheek from old ladies instead of avoided like the plague. His pillowcase begins to fill more and more, heavier and heavier. He hoists the bag over his shoulder like a candy Santa Claus as he makes his way to the next house. He spots a little girl up ahead wearing a dinosaur suit with a tutu, happily skipping down the block when a group of older teens on their bikes stop in front of her and yank her Halloween pumpkin bucket out of her hand. They dump the bucket in their backpacks before tossing the empty bucket at her head and biking away. Mikey scowls at the teens, inconspicuously getting out his nunchucks and whipping it at the bikes, causing them to crash and knock over.

Mikey rushes up to the now crying little girl. “Hey, dinosaur ballerina. What’s the matter?”, he asks softly with a smile. He reaches into his pillowcase and grabs a handful of his candy. “Here, you strike me as a Reese’s gal.”

The little girl wipes her tears. “I like the almond coconut ones.”

“You mean Almond Joy? Yuck! Who likes Almond Joy?”

“I do!”, the little girl pouts, crossing her arms.

“Well here, you can take mine. I’d be more than happy to get rid of them.”, Mikey obliges, picking out as many Almond Joys as he can find and dumping them into the girl’s bucket.

The little girl smiles as her bucket fills up as well as her heart. She lurches forward, latching Mikey’s leg in a hug. “Thank you, Mr. Turtle.”

Mikey smiles warmly, patting her head before the little girl takes off and waves goodbye.

And Mikey continues his hunt. Next house, then the next, then the next. The orange setting sun fades as the sky becomes coated in pitch black. House lights gradually begin to turn off. Children head back to their homes, tuckered out from the excitement. Now it’s just the older kids scraping what they can before the night is over. Mikey scrapes what he can as well. As luck would have it, his brothers would steal his candy out of pettiness. So he has to get extra.

He takes a scenic route back to the lair, giving him time to snag a few more pieces of candy. But up ahead he sees flashing red and blue lights. He looks up as sees a few costumed teens talking to the police. Of course, those teens probably got into some trouble. Mikey should probably steer clear of them, he thinks as he starts to cross the middle of the street.

“I mean yeah, we saw a few dinosaur costumes.”, one of the teens comments.

“No, no, turtle. Kind of looks like a human?”, a man’s voice presses. “Surely you spotted one?”

“Oh yeah, I did.”, another teen points out. “It looked sick. Almost like CGI.”

“Where?”

“I dunno.”

…Ohhh shit. They’re talking about him, aren’t they? Mikey peaks behind him at the police and spots one peculiar man among them. A tall man with pale skin, sleek black hair, wearing a tux with sunglasses (at night??). The one and only. John Bishop. Bishop has been after the turtles for a while ever since footage of them fighting the Kraang got leaked all over New York. Donnie tried to wipe as much data as he could, but even his hacker skills couldn’t outsmart the clever and cruel mastermind that is John Bishop.

The sunglasses tilt up. And Mikey knows he’s been caught. He drops the bag without a single hesitation before zipping into the alleys.

“Hey! HEY! THERE! STOP IT! GET THAT THING!”

Mikey runs as fast as he can, lashing out his nunchucks again and begins swinging up into the air to get some distance. He has to find somewhere to hide. And fast. Oh, he’s gonna be in so much trouble when this is over. Getting higher into the air, Mikey scopes his surroundings. It’s night, that gives him the advantage of hiding in the shadows. He just has to—

THWISH!

A net launches out at him, tethered to lead balls as they wrap around him and causes him to lose momentum. He shrieks as he hits the ground, thrashing about to try and escape before he hears people surrounding him. EPF soldiers all shouting orders as the exit points close in. He tries to move, tries to stand, but suddenly he is hit with electric shock. Then another. Then another. The soldiers are poking him with tased poles like poking a distressed girl confused for a witch with pitchforks. He shrills, for that’s all he can do.

Suddenly, there are flashes of light. Red, blue, and purple. There’s the sound of shouting. The rustle of someone scooping him up in large arms and carrying him out of there. Mikey tries to struggle free but his limbs are tangled up tight. A swish of a sword, and Mikey drops to the ground.

He gasps for air, panting. He blinks and finds himself on a tall building’s rooftop. And standing in front of him…were 3 very concerned older brothers.

“WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!”, Donnie starts. “DIDN'T WE TELL YOU NOT TO GO OUT TONIGHT? WASN’T IT CLEAR ENOUGH HOW DANGEROUS IT WAS? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!?!”

“You scared us, Mikey!”, Raph gripes. “You can’t just take off like that without telling anyone! What if something bad happened?”

“Mikey…”, Leo hushes. “Are you okay?”

A hiccup. Then a sob. Mikey curls inwards on himself, profusely trying to wipe his tears that refused to stop. His brothers’ expressions softened, now all quickly crouching to the ground and surrounding him with so much worry it’s suffocating. Mikey’s lip trembles in fear and despair as he brings his wobbling vocal chords to speak.

“...i just wanted to be me…”

The older brothers shower the youngest with love and a comforting embrace as Mikey wails into the night sky. All Mikey ever wants is to be loved. To be able to walk down the street with his head held up high and plastron puffed out. Just like everyone else.

But even some of us don’t get to do that either. Do we?

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How come all my Mikey's end up depressed? MLTS Mikey's ending was bitter, no sweet. GEM Mikey had issues tbh. FCAU Mikey...uhh no spoilers from me...

Hope you liked it, Lava! Don't blame me, blame the random number generator that selected you from the prompt spreadsheet. Now, ONTO THE NEXT VICTUM!

#tmnt write fight #rottmnt #tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles #fanfic #writing #rip mikey's halloween candy

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kandisheek · 9 months ago

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FIC REC WEEK 10 – FOUND FAMILY

AUTHOR SPOTLIGHT: scifigrl47

If you've been in this fandom for any amount of time, you've probably read something of Sci's. The universes that she's created are a fandom staple, and it says a lot about how fantastic her writing is that her OCs fit seamlessly into the stories, to the point that I sometimes forget that they're not actually canon. I especially love the way she writes the whole Found Family aspect of the Avengers, so those are the kinds of fics I want to rec today. But honestly you should just go ahead and binge her entire AO3, because everything on it is incredible.

Here's some of her work that I think you should check out:

Phil Coulson Knows Tony Stark's Super Villain Name

Pairing: Steve/Tony, Clint/Coulson Rating: T Words: 14,454 Tags: Training Exercise, Paintball, Humor

Summary: The only thing really stopping Tony Stark from attempting to conquer the world is that he wouldn't know what to do with it once he conquered it. He's still pretty sure he could do it, though. SHIELD's pretty sure he could do it, too, and SHIELD is pretty uncomfortable with that. There's a plan in place, in case Tony makes a try for world domination, or any sort of caped super villainy. It involves Steve. No one is surprised. This is not that plan. This is a training exercise, involving paint balls. It might end with world domination, anyway.

Reasons why I love it: You just know that if Tony wanted to, he would've taken over the world a long time ago. This fic is hilarious, and I especially love Bruce and Harris' roles in this disaster that Fury calls a training exercise. Also, Darcy is goddamn adorable. This fic always puts a smile on my face, so I hope you check it out!

The Best of Life and Asgard

Pairing: Steve/Tony, Clint/Coulson Rating: M Words: 15,794 Tags: Humor, Public Indecency, Drunken Behavior

Summary: Tony Stark has been drunk at a few parties in his life. A quick browse of YouTube makes that impossible to deny, so he doesn't bother. But he can control himself, he doesn't have to drink. He can stay perfectly sober for just one night. He promised, he could go one night without drinking. The problem is, he was the only one who made that promise.

Reasons why I love it: Drunk Steve is so adorable, oh my god. I love the mild dash of angst sprinkled in at the beginning and the end, and Steve's upset over his own behavior is funny and endearing at the same time. The strip poker scene makes me cry laughing every time. And the Avengers family feels are strong with this one. I adore this fic, so please check it out, if you haven't already!

Phil Coulson Does Not Bake (and The Avengers Do Not Shop At IKEA Anymore)

Pairing: Steve/Tony, Clint/Coulson Rating: G Words: 6,671 Tags: Humor, Pranks, Baking

Summary: Sometimes Tony Stark makes poor choices. Sometimes Tony pushes his teasing of Steve Rogers just a little too far. Sometimes Steve decides he's had enough. Phil Coulson's the one who's got to write this nonsense up, and he does not bake.

Reasons why I love it: Tony is such a little shit. Honestly, he deserves what Steve has in store for him. And of course, Tony is absolutely adorable in his desperation to make it up to Steve, even if he has to learn a new skill to do it. The rest of the Avengers getting roped into it is just the cherry on top. I love this one so much, please go and read it for yourself, it's amazing!

Extracurricular Activities

Pairing: Steve/Tony, Clint/Coulson Rating: T Words: 8,332 Tags: Overprotective Avengers, Poor Choices, Exotic Dancing

Summary: New York has a party for any taste. Some people like high class lounges. Some enjoy a good dive bar. There are gay bars and techno clubs and all night raves. And somewhere out there, there's a club where the dancers are dressed like Super Heroes, and Spider-Man may or may not be their headliner. Let's face it, the everyone assumed that Clint would be the first Avenger to take up pole dancing. He's a little distressed he's been beaten to the punch.

Reasons why I love it: I don't know why, but somehow the thought of Spiderman pole-dancing for money just makes complete sense in my head. And the rest of the Avengers being nosy bitches about it is a given. We love to see it. And any appearance of Harris in a scifigrl47 fic is enough to make my day. This fic is amazing, and you should definitely go ahead and read it!

Phil Coulson is Not the Avengers' Public Relations Manager

Pairing: Steve/Tony, Clint/Coulson Rating: T Words: 6,881 Tags: Humor, Steve Does Not Like Bullies, Social Justice

Summary: From the Avengers Case Files of Phil Coulson: Grocery shopping is necessary, Tony's a little too proud of his tech, Captain America's lost on the streets of New York, and sometimes social injustice just happens. Phil Coulson's the one who's got to write this nonsense up, and he is not their PR Manager.

Reasons why I love it: Drew and Shawn have my entire heart. And Steve too, although that one's a given. I love seeing the Avengers fight for social justice, and their statements to the press are so fucking satisfying. Give me Steve fighting bullies any day! Definitely check this one out if you haven't read it yet, I bet you'll love it just as much as I do!

#marvel #stony #fanfic #fic rec #fanfic rec #ficrec #a year in fanfic recs #found family

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kassandrasdisciple · 4 months ago

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~~~ batman CC spoilers ~~~

Honestly this is the best DC project in years and a return to everything that was good about the og animated series whilst including all the elements of DC cannon that have been created or expanded upon since.

Just a few of my favorite things:

- the SETTING, going back to the 40s noir vibe is a perfect choice, the fights are beautiful and not overcomplicated by gadgets and tech, also allows for some gratuitously beautiful shots that play with shadow.

- batman's age, I don't think Bruce is ever given an age in the show but he seems to be mid 20s early 30s and still an urban legend as the batman, we don't have to waste time with an origin episode/season but we still get to experience a Gotham who doesn't fully trust their vigilante.

- VILLIANS, for me the stand out was harley quinn, divorcing her from the joker allows her character to fully shine, she stays somewhere in the grey but still firmly an antagonist. It's one of the gripes I have with new harley that once she leaves the joker she always becomes more of an anti-hero/hero, keep my girl villainous. Also her psychological background is in full swing, I've always believed Harley is most dangerous when she's in your head and the show leans fully into it. Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss indeed.

- villians pt.2, keeping the theme of the animated series we have our villians for villainy antagonists like penguin and thorn who seem to live on in their counterparts, onomatopoeia and firebug, but we also get nuanced character arcs for 2-face, Natalia and clayface, echoing baby doll and calender woman.

- supporting cast, I'm only familiar with the comics in passing but if attorney Barbra is a new invention then whoever thought of it needs a raise. Also aging her up to be in her early 20s is an incredible change from the animated series where she floated around the freshly 18 mark. It makes her a hero in her own right even if she isn't batgirl (yet), and let's us see Gothams worst and how she's already fighting for change.

- Supporting cast pt.2, Montoya! My beloved, I'm not sure where her romance with harley is going but I can't wait, it's great to see such an archetypal noir cop, even more so than Jim, who speaking of I love as well, his want to protect the city but also butting heads with barbie on methods is perfect characterization in my option.

-baby bruce, horrifying, I love him. Alfred has personal beef with harley now, the second he saw an opportunity to throw that man in therapy she gives him valid paranoia of the entire profession just as he was thinking about trying it properly, I know it's on sight for him going forward.

- art, I've binged the animated series many times at this point and it's a running gag in the fandom that some frames are ... unique. Obviously the animators were working with what they had, but the step up in fight choreography and flow is spectacular, the whole show is a love letter to old batman with a new varnish of the animation productions of today.

Overall an amazing show that had me laugh and gasp in equal amounts, it took itself seriously in a way most superhero media won't do anymore, I distinctly thought in ep.9 when batman swings away from Montoya and Jim "wow they didn't put in a stupid snark about him being dramatic or having a nice ass ect" and it's like a breath of fresh air.

As far as nitpicks go I wished we had more of Bruce in isolation, or having real conversations, but I realize the focus of this season was his loneliness and how the final episode states he's opening up more to the 3 main supporting characters. I'm also worried for how important the joker might become but that's basically instinct at this point (please kill him off, i want to see the reactions).

Going forward I can't wait to see if we get any follow up on the Easter egg characters, killer croc, the 4 Robin's, king tut. I'd love to see the batman as a dad he's got a lot of kindness modern adaptations don't include, but still that overwhelmingly lonely nature. I'm hoping harley and the joker never cross paths in this universe but I won't hold my breath and I'd like to see if we will get a batgirl/oracle storyline as well.

Anyways looking forward to the confirmed second season, and if you read this without watching the show, start now.

#batman caped crusader #spoliers #batman the animated series #batman #dc comics

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x0401x · 2 months ago

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Hi, if you don't mind, can I ask from this ask game :

https://www.tumblr.com/theclearblue/761071267749265408/anime-asks-because-why-not?source=share

For no. 4, 6, 8, 13, 14, 15, 16, 18, 20, 23, 24, 28

Thanks if you want to answer whichever that you want.....

Ayyy, sure! Sorry for taking so long to reply to this!

4. Least favorite anime character: Kinoshita Kazuya

This one was hard. I usually have lots of characters I like and lots that I’m neutral about but none that I quite hate. One character that left me particularly grossed out, though, was this guy. I can’t say I hate him, but I’ve never been so instantly put off by a fictional character. The combination of being plain disgusting and stupid with having absolutely no redeeming qualities and nothing going on for him was particularly unsettling. It’s not even that he gave us nothing; he really only gave his worst.

6. Popular anime that you didn’t like: Violet Evergarden

Y’all know me. Y’all know where I’m coming from. 🫠

8. Anime character you’re the most like: Honestly, no idea. I’d like to know people’s opinions on this one.

13. Funnest anime you have watched: This one is kinda abstract. I have no idea how to measure the fun. My all-time favorite isn’t exactly what I’d call “fun” and I have too many that I consider fun animes.

14. Saddest anime you have ever watched: Midori Shoujo Tsubaki.

I know that this one aims to be a lot of things way above its intention to be melancholic, but it’s definitely the anime where I’ve felt worst about the protagonist. The ending is surrealistic yet too real at the same time. It’s probably the anime that had me going “damn, that’s sad as hell” the most.

15. Anime you never get sick of watching: Sen to Chihiro no Kamikakushi

I have quite a few anime that I’d rewatch anytime if I felt like it, but this is the only one that I feel like rewatching whenever I see anything related to it. I probably have answered this in every anime ask game I’ve played, but Sen to Chihiro is my all-time favorite anime and movie.

Another anime that I never get tired of rewatching is Gakkou no Kaidan. I used to rewatch it every year on Halloween as a personal tradition when I was a kid and I have a physical copy of all the books in the series. I only don’t rewatch it anymore because I hardly have time for binging nowadays, but if I could do it again? Damn right I would.

16. 10 best animes you have watched: That’s tough! I have a long list of favorites. Aside from Sen to Chihiro, in no particular order:

1. Heike Monogatari

2. Fullmetal Alchemist (I’m combining the first one with Brotherhood here because I love the whole franchise and I’ve always felt that they complete each other)

3. Mushishi

4. Card Captor Sakura

5. Inuyasha

6. Rurouni Kenshin (the first one)

7. Soul Eater

8. Nana

9. Yu Yu Hakusho

10. Monster

18. 10 worst anime you’ve watched (this one is also in no particular order and there’s actually way more than just 10 but here we go):

1. PUPA

2. Diabolik Lovers

3. Drammatical Murder

4. Kaze no Na wa Amnesia

5. Nora

6. Ghost in the Shell: SAC_2025

7. Berserk (2016)

8. Mahou Shoujo ni Akogarete

9. Ro-Kyu-Bu!

10. Kamierabi GOD.app

20. Least favorite anime ships: Literally any inc*st and p*do ship.

23. Unpopular character you love: I don’t really have unpopular characters that I love, but there sure are characters whom I love yet a good chunk of the fandom detests.

24. Popular character you hate: Also don’t have any. I’m either neutral or love them. But then again, there are characters that the fandom is obsessed with yet make me feel next to nothing.

28. Most upsetting moment in anime and why: The entirety of Tsurune, lol. Because the novels (albeit not well-written) are leagues above it in content, depth, overall plot and character handling. It’s pretty much a spiritual experience once you realize what the author is trying to convey, which the studio not only didn’t understand but also tried to run from like the devil runs from the cross. Pretty sure the author also wasn’t too hyped about some things in the anime, as implied in one of her afterwords.

This was fun to do! Thank you!

#ask game #it’s been a while since i’ve done one of these #rly needed it tbh #kanojo okarishimasu

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polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup · 1 year ago

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oh my god I binge read sea glass garden last night and the third and fourth chapter DESTROYED ME.

I’m omw to reread the entire fic because it was too good and I KNOW that it’s going to be one of the must-reads of this fandom. I’m literally in love with all your characters (your Tsumiki is so freaking interesting she was READY to get at it with Maki✊🏻) especially your description of Megumi’s situation is killing me, my heart is in pieces. No matter how many stories there are depicting the years before his high school time, there will always be too few idc.

I’m pretty sure it’s canonically stated that Megumi went on missions before being enrolled as a student and that he witnessed the death of at least one comrade, all because he had been bought to be a jujutsu sorcerer. Imagine never having the delusion of a future because you signed your life away to ensure your sister would live happily. Your take on the fact that, maybe, at some point of his life, Megumi didn’t wish to be a jujutsu sorcerer anymore destroys me. I never really thought of it, and he probably never imagined a life for himself where he wouldn’t die as a jujutsu sorcerer either. He was downright begging to be left to die in peace because he couldn’t bear it any longer when he shouldn’t have even gone on missions yet at all😭 And even though his current injuries weren’t caused by a mission, I don’t think he’d be so stupid to try to tame the snake unsupervised a few days after Geto’s death. Like c’mon. It’s all the higher ups fault, because it always is. Damn them. I hope they choke on their rotting teeth😤

ANYWAY I GOT LOST ON THE WAY TO ASK YOU A QUESTION JANSJAJANJAHA I ramble way too much

I noticed the updates have been pretty frequent, so do you have an update schedule with pre-written chapters? No because if you don’t I applaude you for being able to write masterpieces in a few days😩

P.S. I was curious about the meaning of the title and I read your other post about it and it’s so beautiful😭 obviously it’s sad but it also speaks of the determination of humans’ will to survive yk? You are genius😫

No update schedule, unfortunately! I don’t have the self control to not post chapters when I have them. I go on hyperfixation-fueled writing binges and writers block crashes of unending despair. It’s a Whole Thing. Updates tend to come in waves with me. It’ll probably be pretty erratic updates until the story ends. Thank you for reading and for your kind words!

You are speaking my ENTIRE LANGUAGE with Megumi. He is, hands down, the most interesting character in the show to me. His backstory and how it intertwines with his philosophy and approach to morality make him just so unendingly interesting to me.

Like, the Fushiguro siblings and specifically Megumi really were doomed by the narrative from the start. Megumi never really lived in a world where he had a future. Like, the past arc takes place during spring of 2006, and his dad had ditched long enough at that point that he straight up forgot megumi's name. Tsumiki's mom had been gone long enough that Megumi thought she and his dad ran off together, so she probably wasn't around after Toji stopped coming. Megumi was born late December of 2002, so he would have been three then. Tsumiki was, at most, five. And because Gojo didn't go to meet them until after Geto's massacre in late summer of 2007, it was just the two of them for at least a year.

Like, the sheer horror of being two very small children taking care of each other, knowing that the money's running out and that your parents probably aren't coming back. They were living in abject poverty, and Megumi was most likely seeing curses during at least part of this (considering he was right at the age for it and he wasn't all that surprised with Gojo rolling up to tell him his dad was from a magic clan) with no idea what they were, because even if Toji explained anything (which i doubt) the chances of Megumi remembering the explanation aren't great. He's seeing horrifying things every day and doesn't have any support past his sister, who can't see the same.

Tsumiki and Megumi faced parentification at a ludicrously young age. We know that Tsumiki most likely took a pretty strong caretaking/maternal role for megumi from an early age, but the fact that baby Megumi's only question when Gojo found him and made his offer was about Tsumiki's happiness suggests that the caretaking wasn't one sided. Making decisions about your future based on the needs of your family is a very adult concern, and it was Megumi's only concern. While Tsumiki was canonically far more open with her affection and care (grumpy baby Megumi refusing to hold hands, you have my whole heart), Megumi definitely loved her deeply already and was modeling his actions with her interests in mind. They must have both been shouldering the load of raising and protecting the other for as long as they can remember. Tsumiki and Megumi were likely barely surviving day to day. They were already shouldering the stresses of grown ups and likely didn't have any of those childish, starry-eyed dreams about what it would be like when they grew up.

Even when Gojo enters the scene, the parentification didn't end. While he does take on a paternal/caretaking role, his intro into their lives very much heralded a time where Megumi became the family's compulsory breadwinner. I won't break down my thoughts on how Gojo probably wasn't the one who came up with the deal of Megumi being collateral for their survival since I already did it in another post, but however it came about, it doesn't change the fact that Megumi knows that he's the one his family's survival hinges on from a stupidly young age.

We know that Megumi was training/working as a jujutsu sorcerer pre-canon. Gojo straight up tells him at age 4 that he's going to need him to work hard, he references the fact that he's been training megumi for a while in season 1, Megumi admits to nobara that he's lost a comrade on a mission before Yuuji (though Yuuji was the first that was his age), and Megumi knows a lot of the people in this world. By the time canon starts, he's been training with Kamo since before Kamo entered school, so for 3-4 years minimum, and Mai knows him as well. Kamo straight up says that Megumi's got more talent than the head of the Zenin clan by his first year, and his Grade 2 status at entrance means he's considered a prodigy. There's also a lot of little scenes that suggest that Megumi's been doing this a while. When Gojo's talking to Yuuji about the detention center fight, he makes a few comments about how Megumi likely understood the reality of the fight and just how bad their odds were better than the other two, suggesting 1) megumi has the experience already to do that and 2) Gojo has witnessed him in the field enough to get a sense of how he evaluates situations. He's been doing this a while.

But the thing is that he's also passively suicidal the entirety of season 1. And that's probably because he spent his entire life believing he was going to die young.

He probably doesn't think of it as being passively suicidal, but he absolutely is. The sacrifice bunt vs Yuuji's homerun in season 1 is SUCH A GOOD MICROCOSM OF HIS CHARACTER.

Yuuji has the blind confidence of a very young god who was never informed that there were other gods that were older and more powerful and will kick his fucking ass. Like, he will be in Sukuna's throne room after the man ripped his heart out and Literally Killed Him and still be like "I will beat your entire ass." No doubt. No hesitation. I simply love him.

Megumi, meanwhile, walks into fights knowing he will find one that he can't win. Yuuji thinks he can beat anyone, but Megumi defaults to the assumption that he can't win in a way that is really suggestive of a very, very deep underlying mental issue.

I don't know if you're anime-only or if you know what the "trump card" gojo refers to during his training scene with Megumi, so I'll confine it to what's already appeared in the anime. Throughout the anime, there's multiple times where it's alluded to the fact that Megumi has some kind of "trump card" where he can take his enemy down with him. Gojo specifically refers to it as "dying to win." Sukuna even recognized to some degree that he was pulling it during their fight and called it "burning through your own life." Whatever it is, it's a sacrifice play. It's taking someone down with him.

And we see throughout the anime multiple times where he almost pulls it. Sukuna is the biggest example, but he likely almost pulled it twice in the fight against Hanami during the Goodwill Event arc. When Hanami first confronts them, Megumi immediately says "Get Inumaki out of here" to Kamo.

And that's fucking weird. Inumaki's a semi-grade one sorcerer, higher than him. He's his very experienced senpai. He's no slouch in a fight. Kamo is older than all of them, has been training his entire life, and is a first grade sorcerer. Out of all of them, Megumi was the baby kohai who should have been leaning on the older students. Instead, he's trying to get them out of the line of fire. He probably saw an immeasurably powerful special grade and decided to pull the same trump card he almost pulled in the fight against Sukuna as soon as Inumaki and Kamo were safe.

Later, when Hanami has Maki by the throat, after he was already hit by her root attack that would kill him if he used cursed energy, he makes the same hand signals he did during the Sukuna fight while thinking about how he's the one who has to make the sacrifice play. He was absolutely killing himself to win.

And that mentality makes so much sense when you consider that Megumi already made the sacrifice play with him and his sister all those years ago.

He's spent his entire life locked into being a sorcerer. It's the collateral keeping himself and his sister alive. He doesn't have a way out. His future employment is collateral for an already-accrued debt; he just doesn't have the option to quit and do something else the way everyone else does. And the thing about being a sorcerer is that the mortality rate is not awe-inspiring, to the point where the Kyoto students canonically tried not to get close to each other because they knew that a decent number of them would be dying young and it would hurt less.

Megumi's not stupid, and he's been doing this for a long time. He's probably been reconciling with his own likely violent death for a long time by the time canon starts, and it really fucking shows with how he approaches fights until the bridge fight. There's something so tragic and sad about that to me. Like, what age was he when he realized this life would probably kill him? When he realized that he would never have a way out?

When you bring in his own morality structure and philosophical approach to life, that entire mindset becomes so fucking interesting. Because Megumi's plainly fucking furious that people did this to him.

Megumi's middle school bullying days is both hilarious and endlessly fascinating in the context of his history. His entire thing is that he hates bad people and believes that we’re born into a fundamentally unjust world. Specifically, he hates people that look at the vulnerable and lack empathy for them, to the point where he ended up going out of his way to beat up every single bully in his middle school an unilaterally enforce peace. He had an entire dramatic speech about how he was doing this because they had hurt others—the worlds based on social construct, "please don't kill me and I won't kill you." They had broken that to make themselves feel strong, and if they did it again in front of him, he'd kill them. All that jazz. And it's really interesting that he never once looks down on the people getting bullied. There's a huge emphasis on strength as tied to value in JJK--Sukuna and Gojo being some of the biggest examples--but Megumi only looks down on a lack of empathy and compassion, not people who are physically weak.

Once that's contextualized with the fact that the person who was supposed to protect him abandoned him and sold him to some very bad people, it becomes a lot more tragic. He's doomed by the narrative and he's self aware of the fact that he's doomed. He spends his entire middle school years kicking the shit out of people who take advantage of people because they can, and I personally think that's because that's exactly what happened to him when he was a kid. There's always a bigger fish, and some pretty fucking big fish have him in a corner. But he's the biggest fish in the pond of his middle school, and he does not put up with people who hurt others just because they can.

He spends his last years before becoming a full time sorcerer acting as the sort of person that never was there for him as a child, and there's something so tragic about that to me. Megumi just reads as someone who's already accepted he's doomed and is so angry he wasn't saved.

Even his name has tinges of tragedy to me. Like, it's the difference between "blessing" and "blessed."

On his face, Megumi seems like he's blessed. He won the genetic lottery. He was born with one of the most powerful techniques in the franchise, the one that the Zenin clan desperately wants. It's rare enough that no one else alive has inherited it. It's suggested that it's the Zenin equivalent to the Six Eyes, and Gojo's the one who's always saying how he alone is blessed by heaven. Even Kamo, who isn't even Zenin, commented during their fight on how much people wanted someone like Maki or Mai to get it instead. I won't comment on manga events, but as it proceeds, it becomes even more obvious just how valuable his technique is considered to be.

But Megumi doesn't seem to particularly care about his technique.

He said at one point that, in middle school, he didn't really want to be a jujutsu sorcerer because he couldn't imagine who he'd want to save (the fact that his first act in the series is to save Yuuji is another discussion entirely that I am so mentally ill about). Megumi spends the series surrounded by people who are extremely impressed by and focused on his technique, but for Megumi? His technique and its value seems to be the thing that trapped him. No one was ever going to let him live in peace, and he was young enough that he had no real way to protect his own interests.

He never got to be a kid who got to dream about what he'd be when he grew up. Other kids got to say they'd be an astronaut, or an actor, or a veterinarian or whatever, and he has known that he would be lucky to not die in wizard school his entire childhood. He is a blessing for other people, for the Zenin who want his technique, for the higher ups who effectively own him until he repays his debt, but he's not blessed. He's just valuable sea glass with collectors circling. He hates his name, and I think he hates what he is as well. He's an extraordinarily strong willed person who hates people who take advantage, but he's spent his entire life with a boot on his neck. that must piss him off.

I think his relationship with jujutsu sorcerer would have potentially been a lot better if it had been a choice for him, but he's someone who intensely values control over himself who has been controlled by the circumstances of his birth his entire life. There are all these tiny ways in the show that he tries to exert control over his own circumstances because he just doesn't have a lot of control over his life and it's just amazing character design.

He's just so tragic to me. I am so mentally unwell over him.

Tsumiki and the fact that she was fully about to fight Maki for a hot minute was a lot harder to settle on, mostly because we just don't get a lot about her. But I actually kind of like those kinds of characters? I get to play more in those sandboxes and have more freedom with the character because I'm just using what's little known about them as a bouncing off point and making shit up for the rest.

And with Tsumiki we just do not have a huge amount because she's in a magic coma when canon starts. What little we have is coming through Megumi, who is a naturally unreliable narrator when it comes to her. Like, in his mind, her primarily defines her as "a good person," and that makes a lot of sense when you consider that this is his big sister who was, effectively, the only source of stability and care he had growing up and is almost completely lost to him by the start of canon. he's the last person i would expect to be an reliable narrator about her.

Fanon (at least what I've seen) seems to have translated what we've seen to her into "kind natured good girl" which I don't entirely agree with? I just don't think those kind of people exist. Like, the one's who are all sunshine and rainbows and kind thoughts all the time. Everyone has negative emotions; it's just a matter of how they deal with them.

Also what little concrete we have on her doesn't necessarily suggest she fits that kind of eternally-caring good girl motif anyway.

There's the big example, where she says she would much rather think about the ones she loves rather than curse anyone. This very notably isn't an idealistic "everyone has good in them" rationalization, but it's more "I have better things to do with my time." Forgiving bad people is a trait that Megumi attributes to her, but he's an unreliable narrator about her, so it may be accurate or it may not be. There's a difference between forgiving someone and taking a policy of non-interference.

It's also suggested that she doesn't actually look down on the absence of forgiveness--she actually comments pretty favorably on it. She says that Megumi's refusal to forgive people is a part of his kindness. This suggests that, even though she goes after him for fighting, it's not some kind of perfectly kind "forgiveness is the right thing to do" rationalization. She recognizes the nuance in Megumi's actions and his anger. The thing she really gets on him for is the fighting itself, not the anger, and fighting 1) has wider impacts on Megumi (physically, mentally, emotionally, on his record, etc) and 2) it's suggested that she gets on him because of these wider impacts. We never actually see her discuss it at all in terms of the people he beats up, and Megumi thinks, in retrospect, that she was picking him to care about the same way that he picks who he saves. Again, he's unreliable, so this may be true and it may not be, but I find her character so interesting if it is true, especially in light of her quote about not cursing people because she'd rather think of her loved ones.

That takes Tsumiki from the kind of "prototypical good girl" character type into the realm of someone who has picked to only care about certain people and approach the rest of the world with polite indifference. She doesn't share Megumi's anger at the world, but she doesn't exactly approach it with starry-eyed idealism either.

A much better example of starry-eyed idealism within JJK is actually Yuuji (pre-Junpei) or Geto (pre-genocidal breakdown) than Tsumiki--and the narrative immediately deconstructs both cases of starry-eyed idealism, suggesting that it doesn't genuinely tie being a "good person" to those approaches to morality.

Both Yuuji and Geto kind of spout like, baby's first philosophy class styles of idealism. And I don't mean that in a derogatory way towards either of them--they're both highly empathetic teenagers who care a lot about the world and people in it who are trapped in a system that is fundamentally hostile. Yuuji has a stance of "even considering killing would affect my soul" and Geto has a stance of "I exist for the sake of protecting those weaker than me," both of which aren't wholly without merit, but both are overly simplistic and lack nuance. Which makes sense, because they're both a teenager's approach to morality. In a safer environment, they could have grown in nuance and had their world views challenged safely. but the system they're both existing in isn't safe and never has been--so Yuuji ends up having to confront his stance on killing when he has to put literal children trapped in inexplicable torment out of their misery, and Geto goes off his rocker entirely.

In contrast, Tsumiki really isn't as idealistic as either of them, from what little we see of her. She never once gets close to their levels of "I want to save everyone" syndrome--it's straight up that she's picked her people to care about and has better things to do with her time than waste it on hate and anger. Contextualizing it within her background, that reads more like a survival strategy than being a sparkly kind perfect good girl.

She was a very young girl who had to shoulder a huge amount of responsibility at a young age. She was stuck in terrible circumstances, living well below the poverty line, with her only support being a brother that was even younger than her. We don't know anything about her mom or bio dad, or how much she knows about/remembers Toji, but it's interesting that Toji's approach to life is the antithesis of Tsumiki's.

Toji was so caught up in his own bitterness towards how he was treated that a big part of why he took Riko's assassination was so he could prove he was stronger than *checks notes* a sixteen year old miracle baby and his repressed boyfriend. In the end, the fact that he was caught up in his bitterness was his downfall, and he said it himself: he normally would have fucked off the second Gojo showed up after the assassination was done. He directly ignored his instincts to prove a monkey like him could take on the pinnacle of jujutsu sorcery, and that's what killed him.

There's not enough in canon to tell us either way if tsumiki had any impressions of the adults in her life, but I honestly really like the idea of her looking at the a life where the adults are neglecting her because they've been consumed by their own anger and hate and purposefully deciding to not let it consume her as well. To discard that kind of stuff, not because she thinks there's good in everyone or that it's horribly wrong to have negative emotions, but because she has the people she loves and she's building a life with them by sheer force of will. She's fleeing the teeth of a beast, not approaching the world through rose-colored glass.

For another thing, we have legitimately two actions that she's canonically taken in the series. One was nail Megumi in the back of the head with a milk carton during a fight, the other was fling her fucking body off a bridge with a homemade bungee chord. Girl's probably not a nun.

I ended up deciding that the core of Tsumiki's character needed to be that had a, for lack of a better word, selfish way of loving people. Not to say that she acts selfishly (if anything, canon shows she's intensely selfless when it comes to the people she loves), but just that she's decided to conserve her efforts and care to center around the people she loves and not care about the whole world and everything in it. In her mind, Megumi's kindness is in part because he's angry on the behalf of other people, which is a trait she doesn't share. She cares about her brother and just straight up doesn't have the time or resources for everyone else. Megumi is her landmine.

There's not enough in canon to contradict this reading of her, which makes her fun to write. So she's a relatively nice and polite girl until her brother's in danger, in which case she's immediately stealing cars and about to throw hands with a girl holding a polearm. She's so fun.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk spoilers #fushiguro tsumiki #fushiguro megumi #sea glass gardens #those that have been following me for a while know that the ask box comes at the risk of 73 different tangents in the answer #that's right folks it's yet another info dump

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lizaluvsthis · 8 months ago

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I got a question again- (sorry if I bother ya-) do you hyperfixation about other thing beside smg4? Like what else do you like beside smg4

Thats fine I don't bother, thats also the reason why my askbox is always available <33

I AM still in the Spongebob Fandom and also Lego Monkie Kid. But besides any other fandoms? Nah-

If anyone here is wondering I'd be in TADC or Murder Drones. The simple answer I have on that is, no. I'm not in the fandoms but I do like watching the videos/animations.

In the fandom SpongeBob SquarePants, @flaray25 "@/Gaming_MusicOn" - WATTPAD

I used to have a big hyperfixation about a certain ship (SquidBob) that I TOTALLY didn't make a presentation about their dynamic/relationship with each other.

Made a BUNCH of arts/comics/fanfics of the two gay creatures... in what reason? FOR GIVING ME IDEAS FROM THEIR DYNAMIC AS THE OPTIMISSTIC/PESSIMISTIC SUN/MOON. I CRY AND BLEED FOR IT.

Ahem- in any other reasons, this ship changed my life FOREVER. As in like EVER AT ALL. I made like 20+ comics in traditional with 200 pages with my ugly ass artstyle. And in Digital with 23 separate comics and maybe about 80+ pages? Im not quite sure.

I published 20 stories (OLD FICS) that were about the ship and 2 stories (18 if separate) as two different ships

It was fun staying. I loved staying there until it got a bit toxic from my space in a personal issue.

But I'm good now ^^ just don't draw alot of it nowadays.

I'm also in the fandom called "The Lego Monkie Kid"

- TIKTOK ACCOUNT - @ray-is-they "@/Ray_is_They" Princex of SpicyNoodles

I'm pretty sure if people stayed here you guys know about a certain yellow lemon character of someone. DerpLee.

They motivated me to go watch the season. And so I did. I binge watched the WHOLE SEASONS.

It was great! It was very catchy and nonetheless the animations are pretty impressive! So smooth and perfect! I joined in right after there was a shipping dynamic of Enemies to Lovers. (AKA MK and RedSon = SpicyNoodlesShipping)

I've had SO- MANY... content creations from the ship of SpicyNoodles BACK WHEN TIKTOK was the mostly place I hang around. I got a bit influenced ever since I hear audios that give out their vibes and thats where I started a lil bit of animation even tho it was a bit lazy-

I had 2 published works of the ship from wattpad because... IT'S BEAUTIFUL TO CREATE IT?

I hundred percent sure that I hyperfixated about their whole relationship with eachother. Yes.

I kind of well abandoned the channel now so uhh yeaaaaaaa???????? (I made it to 4k followers but didnt made a special animatic about it I'm so lovely.)

But I still do observe and keep notified on what would be the upcoming season 5 will be... I'll stay on TUNED for that once it releases...

And so you have these two :33 cough. But now that I have this account now, I am no longer active much working with two so I RARELY post there anymore. (I'd have to apologize for the people I promised making an animatic for... aaaaaa-)

And yes. I do notice my followers are also a fan of lmk I see it. (I LOVE MEI-)

#lizaluv #squidbob #spicynoodleshipping

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paintedwithwords · 4 months ago

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Hi... I have read a lot of your fics on A03 and fanfiction net and first of all I wanna say; You are a truly amazing, gifted, masterful and captivating author. And I love you. I'm never able to move on from your fics. Of course I go about with my life but the stories are there in my mind, eating at me...in a good way. You know... I finished entire TVDU altogether, like I started watching Originals right after finishing TVD and Legacies after Originals. So, I never really stayed too much on TVD. Also personally, I never liked TVD because of all the love triangle drama. A love triangle is my least favorite trope, especially when it comes between 2 best friends or siblings. And the whole drama was so unnecessary. I'm not saying Delena is irrelevant. But it was 100% over-hyped. Even then, I've noticed Bamon. I was a fan of Klaroline. And in the middle of searching for Klaroline fanfics I found myself typing Bamon in the search bars of wattpad. I never dwelt upon on it. I saved a lot of different type of fics to my library then deleted it all during on of my breakdown sections. Then I got into BL fandom. That was so random and I was a devoted jikook fan for a year. I still am. But about a month ago I randomly searched for Bamon fanfic on A03. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT INSPIRED ME. I wasn't even thinking about rewatching TVD or anything. I just opened A03 and searched Bamon. And your "guilty ones" is the first that I came upon. It was a ride ever since then. Every time I read one of your stories I'm hit with a whole of emotions. When I started reading bamon I intended to binge watch TVD. But now, it physically pains me to watch it knowing that we'll never get a bamon endgame even when they had such STRONG CHEMISTRY, PLOT LINE AND POTENTIAL. And watching him go after Elena as her loyal dog just hurts and irritates me beyond words. Damon saying "I love you" to bonnie and then adding "just like Elena did"... I never hated a fictional scene so much. THE BETRAYAL. You don't even wanna know how much I bawled my eyes out after reading "Preludio". I know it had a happy ending. But still, all the death and unrealized feelings got the best of me. Your stories evoke a lot of feelings in me. And I can't seem to get enough. I just hope you are doing well and will find your inspiration for all the halfway stopped Bamon fics. Love you.

Hi there, thanks a lot for reading my stories and for reaching out. I am just so happy whenever I get to open people's eyes to the untapped, beautiful potential of Bamon. The show basically spelled out they were soulmate and enemies to lovers but then chickened out of it because they were cowards and other things I won't mention because it just makes it all worse. I hope I don't sound mean or cruel, but I love when people cry over my stories lol, it's just that it's such a visceral reaction that tells me you were really captured by it and lived the feelings to the fullest, so that makes me really happy.

Every now and again the thought of going back to finishing my stories cross my mind, but work and poor ispiration gets in the way usually. People don't seem to engage with my stories as they did before, since the show is not on anymore, so part of me is not sure it wouldn't be just wasted time/effort, still, I am aware I haven't give up on them, so I suppose it's just a matter of time. Stick around if you can.

#answer #reaply #elsataejoon #bamon

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alightbuthappypen · 1 year ago

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twenty questions for fic writers

As a treat entirely for me I get to do a meme. I wasn't tagged and I won't tag anyone but invite anyone who wants to do it to treat yourself too!

How many works do you have on AO3?

33, though 3 of those are posted anonymously (2 RPF that I'm not wholly comfortable having attached to my name anymore, 1 based around a Problematic Trope that I'm too chicken to own up to)

That's like an average of just under 2 fics per year I've been posting to Ao3, ha.

But I probably have about 20 wips for CQL alone, you know how it is

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

92,993 apparently.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Pretty monogamous at any given time - obviously CQL right now, though I did slip out that cathartic Good Omens thing earlier this year.

Previous big hitters (by my standards) were Dragon Age and The Musketeers (BBC version, yes I know)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

From Now On (陈情令 | The Untamed (TV) (1,013)

The Look You Give (陈情令 | The Untamed (TV) (995)

Retrospect (陈情令 | The Untamed (TV) (552)

In the Quiet It Will Grow (陈情令 | The Untamed (TV) (507)

A natural liking (Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV) (487)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I go through phases...I think it's polite to, and I do try, but also when I comment on a fic I don't actually expect a response from the author (though it's always nice!) so I don't angst about it. I obviously LOVE comments, it's not for lack of caring.

When I don't respond it's always because I end up overthinking what I should say, like does "thank you! <3" ten times in row look insincere.

Sometimes I go on a reply binge and start responding to really old comments, and that probably looks weirder.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I think I gravitate towards bittersweet or melancholy endings generally, though not usually real downers. Stories that take place within an angsty point of canon are good for this, like

A Promise (X-Men: First Class)

A Kind of Cruel (BBC Musketeers)

Probably angstiest of all is the very short For the wounded (Dragon Age: Inquisition) which is set in a Bad End post-canon.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I feel like "happy endings" suggest some kind of narrative arc and most of my finished fics are too oneshotty to really have that. But I'd say my fluffiest, most angst-free are probably:

Safe Keeping (Dragon Age: Inquisition)

Nights Bright Days (Good Omens)

A natural liking (Good Omens)

In the Quiet It Will Grow (The Untamed)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I don't think I've ever got a hateful comment? If I have I've repressed it. I've had a couple that I wasn't sure what to make of, or which I felt misinterpreted what the story was about, but nothing mean.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

DO I. Smutty oneshots my beloved.

In terms of like, sex acts, pretty vanilla, though I think some of my favoured tropes could be considered Problematic (a bit of dubcon, Cloud Recesses arc smut). Whatever it is, it has to be extremely emotional. If the participants aren't experiencing heightened emotions of some kind and having them described in long introspective paragraphs it's not me.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

No, my tastes are deeply boring and I have zero interest in crossovers or most AUs.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

In the Quiet It Will Grow was translated into Brazilian Portuguese with permission, though I didn't realise it was going on wattpad and didn't think to ask (it's fine, but I do prefer the Ao3 "inspired by" function). A bit random, but still, flattering.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I kind of like the idea but I think I'm too precious about the process and have too specific an idea of what the final piece should be.

I do love the collaborative storytelling of D&D, but prose is a whole different matter.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Surely it's whichever one you're into at the time of asking? So obviously right now it's wangxian taking up most of my brainspace, but really most of the serious ships I've had I still have affection for. But wangxian is the only ship I've done both art and fic for, and overall feels like the deepest cut.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

SO many unpublished wips, but Against your will is one of my two published wips and for that reason I would like to see it finished, but unless I get back in and refamiliarise myself with the canon again I don't think it'll happen.

Also I have all these other wangxian wips that are like...look at them, they're everywhere, spilling out of my pockets, strewn across the floor of every room

16. What are your writing strengths?

My method is usually to overwrite then trim back to the bare bones so I think my finished prose usually feels quite..."clean", and to the point. That might not count as a strength to everyone though!

In terms of things I most commonly get good comments about: characterisation, emotion, and clear description of action (people can easily picture what's happening)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue, maybe? I hope it doesn't feel weak in the finished story but it's definitely the thing I find hardest - I'm very conscious of dialogue feeling right for a character and it's usually the part I rewrite the most.

Also actually sitting down and drafting stories in the first place. Obviously.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I mean, I don't speak any other languages and dialogue is hard enough so god, no, unless it's a word or expression that is used by the characters canonically.

I don't mind it in fic as a reader but if I'm having to copy-paste paragraphs into google translate just to figure out what's going on I'm probably not going to persevere.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Oh, you mean the Buffy self insert fics I hand wrote in a notebook 14-year-old me kept under their pillow.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

This is hard because...I'm pretty happy with most fic I've published. I can definitely see flaws but overall if I've finished something and stuck it online I like it, and I've reread every one at least once (I am my own target audience).

Secondly, I think my favourite fic is usually the one or ones I'm in the process of writing. I'm always trying to improve and like to think the next one I finish will be the best I've done (unrealistic I know).

That said,

Keep Burning (Dragon Age: Inquisition) is a fic I'm still really proud of. It's far from perfect and I remember it being a tough experience to write but it came out mostly how I wanted in the end. It still feels like one of the most emotionally...honest things I finished. Also I know it made people cry, and I don't know if anything else I've written has done that.

Also There Grew Between is probably the CQL fic I'm most satisfied with, I just think the pacing and structure work really well and it's the one fic I wish got more love because I like so much how it came out.

#meme #writing

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corvuserpens · 2 years ago

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Okay. I’ve given it some thought, so here’s my two cents for the fandom:

Overall, I enjoyed season 2. I did. I binged the whole thing in less than two days, it was THAT good. And I’m rewatching it while I still can bc I won’t have Netflix anymore at the end of the month (thanks for ending the password sharing bullshit Netflix, y’all are losing five clients in a single go, congratulations). So just listen.

I had so much fun watching this, through and through. I laughed, I mourned, I aww’d, I nearly ripped my hair out at the character shenanigans (looking at you, Kaz). It was GOOD, it was cool. The changes, though... I’m not entirely sure I’m all about them. I’ll speak for the Six of Crows and King of Scars duologies because I’ve read those, I haven’t picked up the Shadow & Bone trilogy so I won’t touch up on those plots much because I have nothing to compare them to. I thought they were fine, it was fun watching it all play out and how it ended.

The good stuff first, then. The characters are all PERFECT. In fact, I think what held this show together so well was the characters themselves and seeing them all interact. WhiCH MEANS I NEED MORE TOLYA AND NINA BONDING OVER FOOD AND NIKOLAI AND KAZ TRYING TO OUTSMART EACH OTHER AND INEJ AND JESPER DYNAMICS AND-- You get it.

I guess I’m just... disappointed that it was all so rushed. Like, when I realized we were watching basically the whole plotline for Crooked Kingdom BEFORE Six of Crows, my whole heart dropped to my feet. It was like “woah, what?” What does this mean for the Crows’ future, then? And the reason why I’m disappointed is because I was expecting it all to come MUCH LATER when we have Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom as it’s own show, just like the books.

This feels like... ew, it feels like fanservice. Like they didn’t know what to do with the Crows until they became relevant for the Shadow & Bone plot so they shoe-horned CK into it to play for time, and it made all those delicious scenes that were carefully built up in the story fall flat due to lack of context. Examples:

They killed Heleen off-screen so Inej won’t get to screw her over and get much deserved payback for being trafficked into sexual slavery;

We don’t get ANY Helnik development that culminates into that heartbreaking last scene, and in fact we don’t even get to see Nina and Matthias interact except for a couple of scenes from a distance and Matthias’ horny daydreaming;

We don’t get to see how Wylan not being able to read affected HIS ENTIRE LIFE until he ends up with the Crows;

We get a snippet of Jesper’s backstory but THAT’S IT;

Wesper was CUTE AS HELL I LOVE MY TWO LITTLE GAYS SO MUCH AAAAAA but again, I was looking forward to the slow burn;

Matthias allying with Pekka Rowlins in prison is kinda cool actually, I’m interested to see where that’s going plus the fact we’re not done with Rowlins yet, but I swear if they butcher Matthias’ arch for something more action packed and exciting, I am going to physically vomit;

Kaz breaking into the Slat to beat up Per Haskell’s gang as a one man army running on THE POWER OF TEENAGE HORNINESS, one of my most favorite scenes in the book that I was looking forward to, makes no sense because we never see the Dregs in the show again (that I remember, we’ll get back on that after a rewatch) so what was the point??

We got Kaz’s backstory, but it was spedrun through so it ends up not having much of an impact. I know if I had gone in blind without all I know from reading the Six of Crows duology, it wouldn’t have mattered much to me no matter how much I loved the character. We don’t even get to know Jordie much, and knowing a little about him is what makes his demise and Kaz’s story so crushing and compelling. This is one of the core rules of character writing, for fuck’s sake! I’m no professional but even I know this! If you don’t get to know the character, you can’t connect with that character and so anything that happens to them is just “oh that’s sad. ANYWAY.” Without having read the books, the whole thing falls apart! Can you tell how much I detest fanservice? I went into this show knowing basically nothing about it and I loved it because the story’s pace and the character moments and the twists were SO WELL CRAFTED AND PUT TOGETHER. Hell, this show is what got me running to the store to buy Six of Crows and devouring it all the way to Rule of Wolves, so again, and I cannot stress this enough, what the fuck is going on here??

Individually, the scenes related to Crooked Kingdom were great. Pretty decently adapted, and like I said, perfect character emulation. The only one I didn’t enjoy as much was Kaz helping Inej with her arm because the baggage that was supposed to build it up is missing, so it got watered down to him just cleaning that cut instead of battling through his touch aversion and winning just long enough for him to actually bandage her and treat her wounds and even managing to kiss her neck! It feels like such a victory in the book before it all comes crashing down because we got A BOOK AND A HALF worth of mutual pinning and learning how crippling it is for Kaz to even think about skin-to-skin contact. The scene I read over and over again for days, cut down to a couple of minutes of basically not much. Sad.

Also they’re setting up for Tolya to fall in love with Inej (which I can’t blame him for, I mean, it’s Inej) and I’m like “uh, NO?” Not just because Kanej is THE SHIP for me, but because... Okay, no, I admit it’s just because Kanej is THE SHIP for me, but that’s my fault. Who knows, maybe they’ll make something interesting with this. I mean, they wouldn’t permanently break up one of the most iconic couples in literature just for the giggles or (dreaded) subversion of expectations, right?... Right..........?

For the rest of it, because I read the King of Scars duology, I’m kinda mad at some of the things they changed because I was expecting Alina and Mal to have a happily ever after taking care of their 500 orphans in Keramzin? I was expecting Genya to have SOME happiness before David is killed, just cut this girl some slack, would ya??? And Mal becoming Sturmhond?? Where did THAT come from??????? WHAT ABOUT INEJ GETTING HER OWN SHIP FROM KAZ AND FOLLOWING HER NEW-FOUND DREAM OF BECOMING THE SCURGE OF ALL SLAVERS?? Sure, she’s gotta find her brother first and then they gotta find their family and all, that’s fine I guess?? At least were giving THAT some room to breathe!!

*Sigh* Look. I got a couple of theories for why this is happening.

One: as previously mentioned, Leigh Bardugo and the rest of the team didn’t know what to do with the Crows so they put in the plot of Crooked Kingdom to buy time for them. I believe it’s well understood within fandom that Shadow & Bone couldn’t have gotten as big of a deal as it did if it weren’t for the Crows, but the Crows would have stood on their own easily enough without Shadow & Bone, so they needed to give them screen time from episode one forward to keep the audience, like they did with season 1.

Two: Leigh Bardugo and the rest of the team don’t trust Netflix to renew the show to conclusion OR green-light the Six of Crows show (which, y’know, fair), and their faith is so shaky they decided it was best to have Siege & Storm and Ruin & Rising put into a single season (heard book readers say this is what happened), plus bring in the Crooked Kingdom plot to at least give the book fans a consolation treat while still leaving enough loose ends to continue the story IF they do in fact get good news. And since I trust Leigh Bardugo to write a good story because she can, I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt and willing to believe the second case is true, because that at least makes SOME sense. If the show gets cancelled and Six of Crows never comes to life, I can live with that.

All in all, it was a hell of a ride and I enjoyed myself. It’s not what I wanted, but I had fun and that’s all that matters in the end. I give Shadow & Bone season 2 a solid 7/10. Yup.

Crow out, or... something.

#shadow and bone #shadow and bone season 2 #shadow and bone review #spoilers #a Crow's rants

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nataliescatorccio · 1 year ago

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hi becca! i hope you're doing okay! i've been thinking about fandoms and streaming a lot these days and how much more enjoyable watching TV shows was.

do you think streaming killed fandoms and the whole culture(? not sure what to call it) of watching shows? because we used to wait weeks for 1 episode and we could theorise and write fanfic and discuss things etc vs now we get a whole season in one day and if you don't watch it immediately, oh well, get ready to be spoiled. and honestly i hate the way it is now sometimes i just don't want to spend 12 hours straight watching a new season, but i can't possibly blacklist and avoid every single spoilers. i still want to be on the Internet and talk to my friends and not live in fear of when i'm getting spoiled (okay that's a bit of an exaggeration but you know). and of course there are still fanfictions and fanart and beautiful gifs, but everything comes at you all at once. you can't even digest anything. i'm forgetting new shows faster because i watch the whole thing in one sitting and i don't even process a lot of it and i just forget later on. maybe it's just a me thing though... but to me, even if i hated waiting because something ended in a cliffhanger, 1 episode per week was so much better. it kept me excited for next week, i could read theories, discussions, read fanfic about something that was completely different from what happened in the next episode. it was so fun. and i feel like fandoms who were getting their content 1 episode per week live(d) longer? everything is getting cancelled nowadays after like 1 day of streaming and it's hard to find people you can follow who still engage and are present in the fandom...

hi anon! had a busy few days but it's friday now and the weekend and that has definitely brightened my mood- i hope it has yours too!

i completely think that streaming has a lot to answer in the way our consumption of media has changed, and i really do believe that extends to fandom culture too for all the reasons you've highlighted. i made a mini rant on this a couple of years ago and it picked up traction and got a lot of interesting additions on this topic which i really wish i could find now, but to summarise there was a lot of talk about how bingeing and binge culture has been detrimental to fandom spaces because of the rush to consume media and move on to the next big thing. we don't have the time to appreciate media anymore, and most of us feel more dissatisfied with what's produced because we rush through to an ending that that doesn't feel fulfilling simply because we haven't had time to sit with the storyline. no one wants too get to attached to anything because the reign of fandom feels so short lived, either because it's cancelled or because the strains of producing quickly consumable storylines take its toll on everyone working to create the content that they can't sustain the standard expected.

i really miss weekly releases too and some of the most enjoyable series i've watched in the past year have included the last of us and house of the dragon which were released an episode by week, and it was just so nice to be within that fandom space. even though most people knew what was going to happen within these storylines because they're adaptations which meant little speculation, it still brought people together to discuss and digest what they'd watched and also create. creating takes time and often feels exhausting when everything is thrown at you all at once and you're not the fastest person to get your ideas out there, instead weekly releases allowed creators to notice details and curate art around that. i do wonder if in the future the pendulum is going to swing back towards weekly releases because of the level of engagement, and therefore profit that surrounds engagement, that surrounds it. i'd really like it to, because i do think binge culture comes with a lot of problems, and i don't just mean in an online world because the recent strikes have highlighted how the attitude of 'i can consume this and throw it away' is having huge impacts on people's livelihoods

#Anonymous

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thefae-journal · 2 years ago

Text

make a wish (don't tell me or it won't come true)

fandom: The Good Place ship: Janet x Eleanor POV: second person, Eleanor

word count: 3611 warnings: none

summary: “It’s not something people know. It’s a belief. I believe in it. The coin I threw into the fountain will grant my wish.”

or...

Eleanor finds an unexpected special something with Janet.

Also on AO3

The Good Place masterlist masterlist

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

When you wake up, he’s not there. The side of the bed he sleeps on is empty. No indent in the pillow or the mattress. Instead, he leaves you a calendar, and he is on the cover. And every single page. Every Jeremy Bearimy.

You don’t hesitate to hang it on the wall of your bedroom.

Then you remind yourself that you love him. The tape you stole from Mindy St. Claire that’s definitely not Cannonball Run II—you’re not that creeped out by it anymore. You said you love him first. You didn’t expect him to say it back.

He did. Hearing those words again, those three words, keeps you warm somehow in a place that’s already eternally warm. Even though the sun doesn’t exist. You’re still unsure of how this all works.

You turn off the T.V. and slip the tape back into its case.

ii.

It’s a few mornings later that you’re starting to miss him. You avoid all of the places you’ve been to together, especially the places you went to before he walked through that door. You don’t want to be reminded of him, of what you had, at least right now. Mourning a loss that you wish never came.

You find yourself in your bed for most hours, holding the pillow where his head would be close to you. Maybe you can start by changing the sheets. Or the layout of the whole house. Anything to just make it yours. Not something you share, shared, with him.

For some time, you contemplate this, wondering if you should change anything at all. If changing the interior of the house is going to help you feel any better. You groan and stare up at the ceiling, then over at his face that’s plastered on the calendar. The shine in his smile, his entire face really.

He would want you to do this, right? He would want you to grow and discover yourself outside of him. Do things without him. And if that means flipping the house upside down, you’re going to flip the forking house upside down.

You push the comforter away from you and dangle your legs over the edge of the bed. Your sock-covered feet barely touch the carpet. “Janet?”

With a light bing, Janet appears in front of you—the Janet you’ve learned to appreciate during your time in the fake Good Place. The Janet that has grown just as much as you have, yet still wears that purple vest and skirt, and blue patterned blouse. Like she doesn’t have any other clothes she can wear, like she can’t magically change her clothes at will.

Despite the many reboots this Janet had, and the upgrades that came along with them, that same smile paints her lips.

She waves to you. “Hi, there, Eleanor. Is there something you need?”

“I would like to reconstruct the house,” you say, gesturing for her to follow you into the kitchen. Days you’ve spent drafting up a blueprint, something that you learned from Michael during the time you took his spot as Good Place architect.

On the kitchen island is the blueprint, a new design for the house. There is a rock at each corner to keep the blueprint from folding in on itself. And next to the blueprint is a bowl meant for cereal, to remind yourself to eat.

While you worked on the blueprint, you sometimes forgot to eat, too focused on drawing lines and figuring out the ideal layout for your house. A house that just fits you now. A brand new house where there is no trace left of him. It’ll make it easier for you to move forward, until you’re ready.

You don’t know when you will be ready, but you’re not going to force it.

In one bing, the blueprint appears in Janet’s hands. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Why wouldn’t I be sure? I asked for you here. I’m ready.”

...

It’s like breathing in fresh air. The atmosphere that you live in is entirely new, and you were right: you feel so much better.

The kitchen is smaller. You don’t need a lot of room, and you don’t really cook, not when you can ask for Janet to conjure up something for you. Or you can cross through that green door and go to your favorite restaurant and not have to pay. You know that past Eleanor, before she was crushed by a line of grocery carts, would’ve loved that.

Your bedroom is a bit bigger than it was, maybe because you’ve downgraded to a full-sized bed that was previously a queen. It can still fit two, if you happen to fall in love again, but of that, you aren’t sure. There’s a love seat on the other side of the room next to a walk-in closet. On the door, hanging there, is his calendar. You can never get rid of it. That, it always stays.

Janet gives you a Nintendo Switch that has virtual console—for nostalgia purposes—as a house-warming gift. You tell her that she can stop by whenever she wants to play. All the games will be easy for her, being a vessel of knowledge, but she probably doesn’t care. And she might kick your ash a few times in Mario Kart. Well, any game you play with her actually. You don’t mind. As an apology, she summons a plate of shrimp for you.

In the living room, on the couch, you hold that plate of shrimp. “You know, you don’t have to give me things every time I lose. I mean, it’s great.” You bite into a piece of shrimp and hum in content. “Third isn’t that bad. Whenever Michael joins us, he always gets in eighth. That’s when you give apology food.”

Janet nods, and you set the plate down on the coffee table in front of you. “Maybe we should tell him that it’s better to have more acceleration over speed on his kart,” she says, playing around with the back bumpers of her Animal Crossing controller.

“Nah.” You press A to bring you back to the title screen. “Another cup?” Before Janet can get a word out, you continue. “No using your Janet powers this time. It’s cheating.” You huff and select ‘two-player race’.

iii.

You and Janet revisit the Good Place, or what it once was. A town with frozen yogurt shops on every corner. Literally every single corner. All frozen yogurt, which does get old after a while.

The buildings and frozen yogurt shops bright and colorful, maybe even too colorful. A ��happy’ town that could never be assumed as the Bad Place. And that little fountain. You sit on the ledge with her, your favorite Good Place frozen yogurt flavor in hand. She served it for you. Perfect swirls and just the right amount of toppings.

You close your eyes as you take in each bite of the tasty treat with gummy bears and waffle cone crumbs.

With the food variety that the actual Good Place has, you haven’t touched frozen yogurt. Not since you got there. Returning to it, the odd flavors that scale all the way up the wall of the frozen yogurt stores, brings a sense of calm, somehow. A feeling that was absent after Chidi went through that door. Arc. Door? Whatever. But it’s not what he described, when he knew that it was his time.

For you, your life in the afterlife isn’t complete. Not yet.

You just now realize how big the serving of this frozen yogurt is, and the cups of frozen yogurt in the past, before reaching the salvation of the Good Place, and put the cup down beside you after eating half of it. Full. “I think I needed this,” you tell Janet.

She smiles, a softer one than her usual. “I know. Well, I know a lot of things. Would you like a coin to toss into the fountain? That is what humans do, right? To make a wish?”

“I would love one.”

A nickel appears in her palm, and she hands it to you. “Make a wish, Eleanor.”

You balance the nickel between your fingers and allow yourself time to think of a wish. But how can you make a wish when the Good Place can give you anything you could ever want without a wish? It can’t bless you with a new love, what you’ve been craving lately because you can’t feel that with him anymore. Love that you are starting to miss. The afterlife and Earth are the same in that regard; you have to find love on your own. Does that mean it’s the only thing you can wish for?

“Okay. I think I have one.” You turn a bit to partially face the fountain and toss the coin in. It plops into the water, doesn’t make much of a splash.

Janet watches in awe and summons another coin. She drops it into the fountain. “Maybe both of our wishes will come true.”

You raise an eyebrow. “What did you wish for, Janet?”

She giggles and stands up, offering her hand to you. “If I tell you, it might not come true.”

“Yeah. I forgot about that. I kinda think it’s stupid though.” You grab your frozen yogurt and take her hand. “How do we know if that’s real? You should know, knowledge not-lady.”

“It’s not something people know. It’s a belief. I believe in it. The coin I threw into the fountain will grant my wish.”

Back to the green door, you walk, throwing out your half-eaten frozen yogurt on the way. You also stop at a few places to reminisce. Your old house in all its scary clown glory, the train station that doesn’t lead anywhere. The large pond with that bridge. Or maybe it’s a lake. Some body of water.

The area of green and the stage where all of the announcements happened. The fake talk shows and awful book signings. Really awful book signings. Except, on the grass that never grows, there aren’t any chairs. It’s empty.

iv.

Friday nights are movie nights. Nights where you pick a movie Janet has never seen. Of course, she knows about them and their general plot, but she’s truly watching the movie for the first time. A little light bulb glows behind her eyes at each moment that happens on screen, and it warms you. More than the blanket wrapped around you.

Less than Janet’s arm wrapped around you. Your head on her shoulder. Every now and then, she strokes your hair, your short locks that tangle in her fingers.

You thought, after entering this position, you would fall asleep, but Janet talking through the movie and asking you questions keeps you awake. Hell, she’s talking so much that part way through, you had to turn on subtitles because all you could hear, can hear, is her.

She’s trying to understand. The different actions of the characters, why they make them. She searches her ‘knowledge-base’, you call it, and that’s the only time it gets quiet. You’re not sure you like the quiet—quiet meaning she’s not speaking—and would rather have Janet’s voice fill the space. It has a soothing nature. That’s all.

That’s all.

...

The credits roll, and you’re stuck, comfortable. You sink deeper into Janet’s embrace, cross your arm over her and hook your hand at her waist. You don’t pause the movie, exit, find another one to watch because you don’t want to let go. You don’t want to lose this, whatever the fork you’re feeling.

Is it fuzzies? The weird flips in your stomach that people call butterflies? Whenever her fingers touch past the rolled-up sleeves of your plaid shirt, gracing skin. Only for a moment. Then finding the fabric again.

She leans her head against yours, cheek to hair. “Do you want to watch another one?” she asks.

Lips to hair.

Tingles vibrate through veins, from the center of blood flow to your hands. You can’t speak. You can’t answer her. When you try, nothing comes out. She kissed your head, and your whole system is shutting down. Collapsing in on itself. Kind of like Janet after her first reboot. No thoughts, head empty, except for cacti.

“Eleanor?” She rubs your arm. “Are you okay?”

You hum a ‘yes’. Or try to. It sort of sounded like a weird whimper. Or just a really high-pitched hum that doesn’t match your voice register at all. You shake it off, ignore it. Pretend it never happened. Move on.

Next movie.

You asked her on a date, and, for a second, or more than a second actually, got nervous because Janet seemed confused. She wondered what the date was supposed to mean. She knows that friends go on dates and that romantic partners go on dates. So which was it?

She ranted, one of her cute little rants, analyzing knowledge and data. Referencing pop culture and society—as much as she could understand of it.

You don’t remember how long she went before you told her to stop. Grabbed her hand and tilted your head to the side. By that alone, without having to explain, she figured it out.

“I’ll go on a date with you, Eleanor.”

...

At your favorite cafe in Arizona, thanks to the green doors, you sit at a two-person table and wait for her to show. Come through that door, not the green one, but the door of the little cafe.

The cafe is outside your hometown, or was outside your hometown before you died. You’re not sure where it is now, if it’s still standing. How many years have passed on Earth. If it was torn down like that restaurant you got sick at that one time when you were a kid. Your mom told you then that you getting sick there was the reason why it was torn down. Honestly, you believe it.

It’s Arizona. You had seen crazier things. Not as crazy as Florida, though. Jason won that point. And every other point.

You order yourself a latte, and just as it gets to you, the bell of the cafe dings. Janet, wearing a different outfit for once, one you recognize from one of the reboots. A brown vest and skirt with a white blouse with small polka-dots. Her hair is tied half-up. She holds her thumb in her opposite fist, but lets it go to wave to you.

Soon, one of those hands is in yours over the table. Her not-skin soft and warm. You brush your thumb over her knuckle. Conversation lingers, random things because she knows everything about you. Or you ask about her. The history of Janets.

“I don’t know what would’ve happened if the judge ‘erased the Earth’,” she says, giving your hand a squeeze. “But I’m glad that she didn’t. I don’t know if I would exist ever again. Or if this would’ve ever happened. If the Good Place would’ve been fixed. I try not to think about it.”

“You might’ve not met Jason. Me.” You bow your head. “You’re right. Let’s not think about it.”

Twenty minutes or so you spend in the cafe before you leave, hand-in-hand. You show her around this little town, a town you wished you came to more. The family-run shops and the park a few blocks away. You lead Janet there, to the park you always attempted to drag your mom to.

With her, you walk the path in the comfort of silence. At least between you. On playgrounds and grass fields, kids play, made-up games or tag. You rarely got that, at least when you were with your parents, because they pushed you and your needs aside. But this isn’t real anyway. Just an image the Good Place created for you.

Yet somehow, it still hits. A light slap to the face.

Janet stops, so you stop. You don’t know why, but once she opens her mouth, asks if you’re okay, you realize that your hand was tensed up. Muscles tight.

“Can I take you somewhere?”

...

In elementary school, when you would stay over at a friend’s house for multiple days at a time and come to this little Arizona town, you had a secret spot. A tree stump in the woods of the park, and in the rings of the stump marks your initials. Marked, because it might not be there anymore. Washed away or faded overtime. Or just gone.

“I told my friends that this place was where I wanted to have my first kiss,” you say, approaching the lone tree stump surrounded by alive and growing trees. “Of course, that didn’t happen. I think maybe I forgot about it. I mean, I was just a kid then. I had dreams and fantasies. I played games where I ruled all of Arizona.” You kneel down in front of the stump and trace your fingers over the faint initials that rest there.

Janet laughs. “That’s very Eleanor Shellstrop of you.” She holds her hand out to you to help you up, and you accept. She takes your other hand, too. “I don’t think it’s a silly thing to dream about. A special moment in a place that makes you happy.”

You glance around you, at the tree stump, the almost too perfect leaves that carry wind. Or today, a warm breeze. Memories flood you. Your friends saving you from some pretend monster. You were the princess, and the girl you’re pretty sure you had a little crush on then was the prince. A knight that helped you down from the tree you climbed up as your own way to escape the monster.

You cried so hard that day because you wanted it to be as real as it could be. You were actually a distraught princess that needed to be rescued. And now, you’re just a girl from Arizona that saved the universe. Changed the afterlife for the better. You’re a different person. You make things you want a reality instead of dreaming of it. Instead of pretending.

That means you can make the kiss real, too.

You guide Janet’s hands to your waist, tugging her closer, while your own link behind her neck. “Is this okay?”

“Yes. It’s more than okay, Eleanor.” She leans forward to press her forehead to yours. Noses, lips, inches apart. “I think I love you. We’ve spent so much time together, and I’m enjoying every second of it, even beating you at Mario Kart.”

You giggle. “I knew that you getting first place every single time wasn’t luck! You were using your Janet powers even after I told you not to.”

“Guilty. When we get home, I’ll make sure to give you extra apology shrimp.”

You’re looking forward to it. Home. With Janet. Shrimp, so much shrimp. And rounds and rounds of Mario Kart until you grow tired and fall asleep in her arms. Oh, woof. “I think I love you, too.” Pause. Exhale. Your hands settle on her shoulders. “Can I kiss you?”

“You can kiss me. Right here. I would like to be kissed, very much, yes,” Janet says, pulling away just a bit, enough to see you.

Enough for you to see her. The light in her eyes. The freckles that dot her cheeks and nose. Quiet, but noticeable at a close distance. A distance that becomes not existent, lips on lips. You cup her face, gentle.

She doesn’t taste of anything, her lips, like you might’ve imagined at some point. During one of the hundreds of reboots. Or several of the reboots. Despite that, there’s something about them that captures you. A pink fire burning beyond your skull. They’re perfect. Feel perfect. Just like she is.

The kiss is short, shorter than you would’ve preferred. But you’re letting Janet take the lead, and she ends it after a few seconds to hug you. She brings your head to her chest and whispers another ‘I love you’.

No ‘I think’.

vi.

“I never told you this, but what I wished for came true.” You pause the game of Mario Kart and lean back on the couch. Eyes meet. “You know, back at the fountain.”

It’s been a few Jeremy Bearimys since that day in the woods of an Arizona park. Left in the Good Place, it’s just you and Janet. Michael now living through his life on Earth, Tahani making tests, and eventually designing Good Place neighborhoods. You get to see her sometimes, but not often enough. You’ve sent her postcards to all the places you went to with Janet, and she congratulated you on your new found relationship, as weirded out as she might be about it—she still hasn’t quite processed Janet’s relationship (and marriage), to Jason.

Janet sets her controller down and reaches out to twirl a strand of your hair, then retracts her hand. “It did?” She nods to herself and does that thing when she thinks. When her nose crinkles and she hums, a long, drawn out hum. When she tilts her head, then opens her mouth in an ‘o’ shape. “Oh. I believe mine did, too. What was your wish?”

You turn to face her, bringing your legs up on to the couch. “I wished to find love again. What about you? Not telling me did make your wish come true, huh?”

“Yeah.” She looks down at her lap, her thumb held in her opposite hand as it always is. “I wished to never be alone. I’m not alone. You’re still here, with me.”

“And I’m not going anywhere, babe.”

#the good place #tgp #janet tgp #eleanor shellstrop #fanfic #fanfiction #writer #janet x eleanor #eleanor x janet

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hottakehoulihan · 2 months ago

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Implacable

Characters behave recognizably canonically: Close enough. Not abandoned incomplete: Yes (complete) Engaging (Funny/cool/thoughtful/feels): Yes (funny) Do I recommend it: Yes

Premise: Altpower malicious compliance. Taylor is full of hate. HATE. Taylor brute-triggers as they're shoving her in but doesn't quite realize that's what happened until she throws a punch and does significantly more damage than she was expecting and Sophie has to out herself to avoid further damage. Of course the trio spins this with some success, and Taylor ends up a probationary Ward just like Sophie is. And she's pissed. And Danny is pissed. And the two of them use every bit of scholastic ability / union administrative experience to study and use the Wards contract.

It's not particularly long, alas. A couple hours reading time maximum. It came to an end just as I was really settled in my chair and ready for a longer ride. There are a whole bunch of fan-made omake that I didn't read many of and couldn't endorse anyone else try either lest they get the ones I did get. From what few comments i read, there was apparently a fair amount of drama in the comments (I didn't see it and can't guess what it's about) and also the author rewrote/tightened a fair bit of the story after finishing it.

Still, positive marks. I did want more, and it did end. I laughed out loud more than once. I can't recall a malicious compliance fic I've enjoyed as much.

Alas, there's no AO3 link. Reading on SV/SB is a bit sad; so many enthusiastic and supportive audience members, all permabanned, and no way to know why. I've only read two stories on QQ ever but maybe I should do some digging there just to see what they've got on offer.

Billymorph writes a lot in animation fandoms; Pokemon, Ducktales, and Bob's Burgers are among them. Good for them! Not sure if this is the only Billymorph wormfic. I'd check out more if I found it existed and was complete.

I normally try to read only complete stories for the most part. Incomplete ones just sit in my soul like a canker, even after I forget most of them and forget that I'm following them. And, of course, I am as generous a reader as I can bring myself to be (look just use a spellchecker and maybe read it out loud to yourself at least once? Hell, just a spellchecker) but if the Kingkiller chronicles are ever finished it'll be too late; my heart isn't in it anymore even though I've still got that permanent sense of annoyance that I can't finish the series.

There was something in the fantasy/scifi author realm online around 2017--lots of loud reminders to readers that authors don't owe you anything. I can't say that's wrong; author writes book reader buys book the end. No parasocial, no right to tell the author to change story. No obligation on author's part to provide answers to theory or present WOG on subjects. The book is the book.

But damn it's hard for me to accept that I am not owed--after investing my heart, time, and money into seventeen volumes--a final volume. I keep quiet about this, lest someone go "End of Evangelion" on my poor innocent Nana manga, but I feel it. An unfinished story is better than nothing, but it often feels worse than nothing.

Even though an unfinished story is in some ways more immortal as a result.

I wonder how much of Worm would not exist if it weren't for the folk who were able to donate heavily? Glad for that. Also glad The Discourse hadn't crushed the author's enthusiasm yet; I'm slogging through my Ward reread and am very eager for the end of Arc 7

I have decided not to review one-chapter stuff. I want to give love, and I love many single-chapter things (Binge Watch is super fun) but there's a significant time investment and a teeny bit of anxiety. My rating system is super simple and incredibly generous...and in fact I should probably abandon it actually and just dive into the premise since I'm unlikely to read or review anything that doesn't score at least a 2.5 out of 4. But I won't change the method just now.

I find it unpleasant to read multiple stories simultaneously if they have the same characters. I can do it, but it isn't great. ...enough babble; time to make food. Cheers and stuff.

#wormfic #HHH.txt #Billymorph

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aeryssickfics · 9 months ago

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I can confirm, I am also obsessed with certain characters, and I'm sure all your readers understand XD I don't usually go out of my way to read anything about Diluc and Kaeya, I'm kind of neutral on them, and I absolutely ATE UP your fics of them!! I was binge reading some of your stuff a couple of days ago and I had a lot of fun with it, I won't deny that I'm very excited for more to come! XD

Also on a separate note, I reallyyy liked the late caretaker fic! I clicked on it as soon as I saw it was out hahaha, I think I'm starved for some good hsr content! I really love the way you portrayed Stelle and Kafka's relationship (I have a soft spot for motherly Kafka)

I'm glad you enjoyed the undesirable caretaker prompt! Toying with Kafka and Stelle's relationship is really interesting to me because like obviously Kafka's done tons of not good things, even to Stelle, but it's still obvious she really cares??? Dying for more on what the fuck is going on there because Of Course her companion quest gave some really interesting bits but they can't Go anywhere because they're stuck in "not everyone saw this" hell and im >< but I want to see Stelle react to it, I want to hear her talk to other people about Im- going to have to find fanfic eventually.

Anyway, digressing a little, something about that concept and dynamic is just so much fun. Kafka, constantly hiding things, definitely incredibly dangerous, and how soft she can be towards Stelle/Caelus. I'll probably write more in their direction eventually. But Kafka's voice is ... something. I'll have to decide where to go with the next one.

as for the first part! it's funny bc like I obsessively read every cynari (etc) fic that crosses my space anymore and want more so like I'm well versed in "I want more like this but Slightly Different" but any time I find myself writing too many versions of the same arrangements I'm like "....... oops people are probably getting annoyed by now"

on the other hand this IS more or less what I expected when I started doing Hoyoverse for the event prompts because I resisted genshin specifically for actual years (because the Fandom did and still kinda does scare me) but like with the dull awareness from people I follow that I would absolutely adore the Diluc & Kaeya dynamic based on what I absorbed by osmosis. And then I started playing star rail and slowly just started collecting hoyo games (glances at HI3 and Genshin ... -shrugs-)

But! I'm glad you're excited! The thought of someone who doesn't normally read the characters reading mine kinda made me alksdfjalsdjfkasldkfj that's so kind of you to say ><

I've been slowly making my way through your modern au and im man the amount of work you put into these to string together a genuine plot through the whole thing is Incredible btw.

#dutifullyshamelessearthquake #asks and answers #kind words #I might have rambled a bit im sorry

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sariaminoras · 1 year ago

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Dragons Chapter 5 and the Slug Race

Hey, anyone who's still out there! First and foremost, apologies for the delay (it's hardly a delay, when I've been consistently uploading at embarrassingly year-long intervals, Jesus). Also, thank you, for still being here, and for being so patient and for still having faith!

Secondly, the link to the chapter.

Now... a bit of a rant/vent/explanation as to why it always takes so long for me to update this story. Under the "read more/keep reading".

Okay, so... I'm not gonna lie. A whole year is the time required to release a new, original book, not a new chapter for fanfiction. It's embarrassing, and it's frustrating, and it's extremely counter-productive towards my goal. It's... non-productive, really.

I don't have an "excuse" for that. My reason is many things, but I can boil them down to roughly two aspects.

The first, and the most important is, for many months now, I just didn't want to write. In general, really, but mostly, I didn't want to write for this fandom anymore, and not for this fic anymore. I've been spending a lot of my free time doing nothing productive (arts-wise); when I'm not with friends/family, or working/studying, I'm watching a TV series, YouTubing, or playing games. Sure, it's good to lay back and not do anything mentally taxing every now and again, but this has been setting me back on the personal goal of improving my writing (and the bonus side-quest of learning to draw).

I'm not sure why this is happening. I think I'm just a little tired. IRL stuff became bigger and more complex, requiring more of my time and disposition, and maybe I'm feeling like I don't want to do anything important whenever I get a break.

I really want to change that. I've been trying to follow a fixed schedule, that will break my free time up into "leisure" and "art/writing", but I'm having trouble following it through. I "binge" activities, rather than do a little bit of everything everyday, and I know that's something that I'll need to change in my behavior if I want to accomplish everything I set out to do. What's making that difficult is that I've been prioritizing some stuff, whilst others I'm not so inclined to do.

Which brings me to the second part of my "excuse". This story, Dragons. TL;DR, it's not bringing me any joy anymore, but I'm going to go into more detail on that.

My original plan for Dragons was to make it a domestic, pregnancy-romance story, focused on the condition and its symptoms, the shenanigans surrounding the novelty of a human-vampire hybrid "breeding", and the relationships between the characters, especially Alucard and Integra's, and how they developed as the pregnancy progressed.

I thought it would be easy. I thought it would be fun, and light-hearted, and simple to accomplish. I was wrong.

I don't know why, but I was wrong. I don't know what happened, exactly, that caused the story to drift away into... this. Into this monstruous, mentally-taxing narrative I am NOT prepared to write, and that I don't think I should be tackling right now. Not with the writing and reading experience I have at the moment.

It's so much bigger and more complex that I thought it would be. I'm aware I'm to blame for not having planned everything in its minute details, so stuff constantly changed as I got new ideas I wanted incorporated. Originally, I planned for Dragons to be roughly 3 to 4 chapters long, but now I'm looking at... what, 8, 10, and I'm pulling my hair out.

Whilst I did have character interactions in my mind, I did NOT intend for it to have any drama, especially not the kind of drama that it's driving towards. It was supposed to be shallow, something small and fun, but, instead, I'm feeling compelled to write these really long, drawn-out dramatic scenes, and all these """"""cHArAcTEr mOmENts"""""" that had absolutely no business in the original draft, and that I feel really insecure doing because I don't really know how to write that.

This chapter, chapter 5, didn't even include everything that I planned on delivering, and maybe that's my fault too, for not really knowing how to pace and structure a story. It's infuriating that it's been a whole year and I update with... so little and non-rewarding... a chapter that it's, like, mid-conflict, and not properly going anywhere, kinda. It leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, and I feel like I'm disappointing not only the brave souls who are still around (bless you), but also myself.

Maybe this also plays some part on my lack of interest, but I'm just not super into Hellsing as I was, when I first started posting Dragons. It sucks, but it's life. I don't really like working like that, not completely into the thing, feeling like it's an obligation and not a hobby I fully enjoy, but there's not much I can do about that; I refuse to abandon ship, and I can't force myself to become "obsessed" with Hellsing again (or, can I? I don't know).

There's also the language barrier, which takes some of my time, and the fact that I want to write more... "poetically"? My writing feels too sterile and "technical", I think, and I want it to sound more like a melody and less like a speech, and I know that I'll only get there if I read and write MORE, but it's still an added layer of consumption of my time and mental effort. Writing narrative, for me, is a struggle, but, when I complain about it, like I'm doing now, I also feel like I'm bitching for no reason, and putting effort into it is the bare minimum I should be doing. Still, it would be nice if it were a little less difficult, aha.

I'm not going to do like last time and "promise I'll (try) to do better". What I CAN assure anyone, though, is that I will absolutely finish this story (I hate engaging with someone else's work, and then having the creator just drop it, but this is merely a personal feeling and I'm not trying to pass judgement on anyone, people have their reasons), and that I will, eventually, when the story allows, incorporate the silly, pregnancy shenanigans that I originally wanted. As soon as the characters calm the F down.

Whilst Dragons took this crazy turn, I, at the very least, got most of it roughly planned and bullet-pointed. I have a direction, even though I can't be sure the path won't curve and spin to get to the end. Whatever, it's there for me to write; I just need to actually sit down and do it.

So... here we are, at the end of this vent. I have no idea when the next chapter will be uploaded. Sorry for the zero guarantees, sorry for always taking so long, and THANK YOU, for anyone, who's still, somehow, around, and following this story. You are the real heroes. T__T

#hellsing #hellsing fanfiction #alucard x integra #integra x alucard #alutegra

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