#not sure if there's a fandom for this anymore but i just binged this whole show while i had the flu and have A LOT to say to say about it
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Can we talk about how Naomi sings a whole song about wanting to be “someone special” and then in Norberg Peace Prize, Princess Chloe tells Gabe that he should share the Norberg Lights with “someone special” and he shares them with Naomi?!
Yes, I realize that "Something Special" is Naomi's "I want" song and about how she wants to prove herself (setting up her great character arc), so she didn't mean it like that, but…it’s the exact same wording.
She is “someone special” to him. I’m gonna cry 😭😭💖💖
#the cinematic parallels!!#the fact that BOTH of their individual character arcs are so centric on them wanting to prove themselves makes this even more impactful#not sure if there's a fandom for this anymore but i just binged this whole show while i had the flu and have A LOT to say to say about it#just me and my feelings here#elena of avalor#eoa#gabaomi#naomi turner#gabe nunez#gabriel nunez#gabe nunez x naomi turner#gabe x naomi#i'm biased but...they're in love your honor#this ship has its talons in me#i can't explain why#but no regrets honestly
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I feel like I've seen so many TV cancellation announcements for stuff that I might've watched but now might not. And it really just emphasizes how much the current system is eating itself.
Binge culture means that people are expected to consume a show right as it drops. Because so many shows are binged now, even weekly shows are held to the same standard. If they don't perform well during the initial release, they are written off because binge numbers are the numbers that matter.
So you get more and more people who are afraid to get invested in shows because it might get canceled on a cliffhanger. Because of that, they don't tune in to watch something until they're sure its going to continue. So the next bingeable show gets less viewers. It gets canceled. More people join the 'I'm not going to watch yet because I'm afraid to get invested' crowd. Less people watch TV.
And it sucks because people like this are often the most ardent fans of a work--the ones who will write fanfiction and make fanart and write long analytical posts convincing people to watch a show. The people who will make a new show their whole personality because that's how hyperfixation works. I am amongst that crowd. I can't let myself get invested in something anymore unless I know that I'm going to get emotional payoff.
TV execs have been continuously breaking trust with fandom spaces for the past several years. They don't give shows a chance to find their legs, to grow an audience, to gain a cult following. They kill something in it's cradle in service to the numbers.
And it's not just the fans who suffer because of this. It's writer's rooms. I'm going to school right now for screenwriting and its BAD out there. So many writers who pour their heart and soul into a concept only to never get to bring it to fruition. There's no room for slow burns. For thoughtful storytelling. For trusting the audience. There's no room for real creativity. So the shows that do get renewed are often competent but uninspired or sequel/franchise content. Cause that's what gets views.
I cannot imagine how disheartening it is as a writer to start so many projects and never get to finish them. Think about your own writing. If you were working on a fanfiction but knew at any moment someone could stop you updating because you aren't getting enough hits/kudos, would you find joy in that anymore? I sure wouldn't.
I believe that a lot of the best storytelling is going to come out of indie spaces in the next few years--writers and artists moving outside of Hollywood and making their own low budget stories. Because it's almost impossible to thrive within the current system.
It's not the writer's fault. It's not the fan's fault. It's the way TV has become. And its going to crash and burn and I'm sure execs will find a way to blame anything but the system they created.
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H(a)unted
(written for @tmnt-write-fight for @lavadragon365)
Fandom: Rise of the TMNT (Post movie)
Prompt: Halloween, the one night a year where the boys can go to the surface without hiding from humans.
Word Count: 1919
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The single greatest day of the year! Right next to the Lair Games, Thanksgiving, and his birthday. There’s nothing Mikey loves more than Halloween. But what makes Halloween so special?
Is it the spooks? Hell no. Mikey detests the idea of horror and blood, and pizza supreme forbid…ghosts. Is it the free candy? Mmmm… Mikey can have as much free candy as he wants with the power of his puppy dog eyes and the fact his brothers and he have been stealing for food to get their groceries. It’s much easier than you think.
So what is it?
The costumes. Or better yet, the lack thereof of needing one. This is the one time of the year that Mikey gets to walk the streets freely with his brothers and get to just…be. And Halloween is now just around the corner and Mikey just can’t wait to—
“We’re not going out this year.”, Donnie spat when Mikey strided into the kitchen and showed his brothers the layout they should take for trick-or-treating.
“What?!”, Mikey squawks. “What are you talking about, Dee?”
“Donnie’s right. It’s not safe, right now.”, Raph chimes in. “The invasion was only 2 months ago. Streets are still being prepared, everyone is still on edge, and not to mention that EPF guy is still after us. We gotta lay low.”
“But for how long?! We’ve been cooped up in the same smelly old subway lair for weeks and I can’t take it anymore, I think I’m gonna just explode from pure boredom!”, Mikey groans in annoyance. “Pretty sure I remember Donnie saying something about how box turtles hate captivity.”
“Hey, don’t twist science against me, Michael.”, Donnie points a finger.
“What if we wore disguises?”, Leo suggests. “I mean, everyone else is doing it. We can just hide in plain sight.”
“The whole point of this holiday is that we don’t have to!”, Mikey stomps his foot against the ground. “I’m tired of hiding! I just want to be me!”
The others are quiet. They look away, frowning in their own volitions. Raph sighs, putting his foot down.
“Sorry, Mikey. Maybe next year.”
Mikey balls his fists so tight that his knuckles turn white. He turns on his heel and storms out of the kitchen, hurrying back to his room before his brothers could see him start to cry.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
The evening of Halloween arrives and Mikey’s so-shell feed is full of people out and about having fun. Meanwhile Mikey is stuck in his room, stuffing his face full of whatever last-minute Halloween candy bag was left at the store. It’s not fair. He wants to join the fun. But his brothers don’t want to go.
…
Wait, so why doesn’t Mikey just go by himself?
Shit, why didn’t Mikey think of that earlier? He can just head out, have his fun, get some candy, and come back as if nothing happened. Sure, his brothers will be mad that he snuck out, but once they see that everything’s fine, they’ll be the ones who are jealous that they didn’t get to go. Yeah, that’ll teach them.
So fuck it! Why not? Mikey springs out of the hammock, yanking the pillowcase off his pillow and heading out the door. Now he just needs to get out of here without anyone—
“Mikey?”
Mikey quickly bolts, using his ninja prowess to wall jump up and hide in the support beam on the ceiling. Talk about reflexes, huh? He spots Leo hurrying over to his room.
“Mikey, look, we’re sorry we can’t go out this year. I know you’re pretty bummed about it.”, Leo calls out as he peers into the room. “I-I was thinking we could watch a Halloween movie? Doesn’t have to be scary, we could binge some of those stop-motion ones you like. …Mikey?” Leo looks around the subway car before walking back out. He looks around once more before leaving from whence he came.
Phew, that was close. Mikey hops back down before scurrying off in the other direction. He makes his way through the sewer tunnel entrance, dashing through the waterfall before it could soak him. Then he heads up the abandoned subway stairs, towards the sounds of laughter and screams. And the streets…
The streets are beautiful.
Filled with people and creatures of all different shapes and sizes. A crowd flock down the street, cheering as they show off their creations. Little kids run around coated in blinking lights and glow sticks to help them find their way in the dark. Orange lights decorate the streets and balconies of apartments. A chilly autumn breeze shakes the withering colorful leaves on the trees as the smell of sweets flood Mikey’s senses. And just as he expected, no one bats an eye at the peculiar orange turtle. For he is right where he belongs.
“Hey, love the costume!”, a purple skeleton smiles with glowing yellow eyes and wearing a grim reaper outfit.
“Thanks! You look cool too!”, Mikey beams back.
“Just an FYI, the large candies are almost out. So you better get to it.”
“Got it! Thanks for the tip!”, Mikey nods as he heads off towards the richer neighborhoods.
Door after door, Mikey is met with smiling, welcoming faces instead of horrid and wary ones. Showered with compliments and pinching on the cheek from old ladies instead of avoided like the plague. His pillowcase begins to fill more and more, heavier and heavier. He hoists the bag over his shoulder like a candy Santa Claus as he makes his way to the next house. He spots a little girl up ahead wearing a dinosaur suit with a tutu, happily skipping down the block when a group of older teens on their bikes stop in front of her and yank her Halloween pumpkin bucket out of her hand. They dump the bucket in their backpacks before tossing the empty bucket at her head and biking away. Mikey scowls at the teens, inconspicuously getting out his nunchucks and whipping it at the bikes, causing them to crash and knock over.
Mikey rushes up to the now crying little girl. “Hey, dinosaur ballerina. What’s the matter?”, he asks softly with a smile. He reaches into his pillowcase and grabs a handful of his candy. “Here, you strike me as a Reese’s gal.”
The little girl wipes her tears. “I like the almond coconut ones.”
“You mean Almond Joy? Yuck! Who likes Almond Joy?”
“I do!”, the little girl pouts, crossing her arms.
“Well here, you can take mine. I’d be more than happy to get rid of them.”, Mikey obliges, picking out as many Almond Joys as he can find and dumping them into the girl’s bucket.
The little girl smiles as her bucket fills up as well as her heart. She lurches forward, latching Mikey’s leg in a hug. “Thank you, Mr. Turtle.”
Mikey smiles warmly, patting her head before the little girl takes off and waves goodbye.
And Mikey continues his hunt. Next house, then the next, then the next. The orange setting sun fades as the sky becomes coated in pitch black. House lights gradually begin to turn off. Children head back to their homes, tuckered out from the excitement. Now it’s just the older kids scraping what they can before the night is over. Mikey scrapes what he can as well. As luck would have it, his brothers would steal his candy out of pettiness. So he has to get extra.
He takes a scenic route back to the lair, giving him time to snag a few more pieces of candy. But up ahead he sees flashing red and blue lights. He looks up as sees a few costumed teens talking to the police. Of course, those teens probably got into some trouble. Mikey should probably steer clear of them, he thinks as he starts to cross the middle of the street.
“I mean yeah, we saw a few dinosaur costumes.”, one of the teens comments.
“No, no, turtle. Kind of looks like a human?”, a man’s voice presses. “Surely you spotted one?”
“Oh yeah, I did.”, another teen points out. “It looked sick. Almost like CGI.”
“Where?”
“I dunno.”
…Ohhh shit. They’re talking about him, aren’t they? Mikey peaks behind him at the police and spots one peculiar man among them. A tall man with pale skin, sleek black hair, wearing a tux with sunglasses (at night??). The one and only. John Bishop. Bishop has been after the turtles for a while ever since footage of them fighting the Kraang got leaked all over New York. Donnie tried to wipe as much data as he could, but even his hacker skills couldn’t outsmart the clever and cruel mastermind that is John Bishop.
The sunglasses tilt up. And Mikey knows he’s been caught. He drops the bag without a single hesitation before zipping into the alleys.
“Hey! HEY! THERE! STOP IT! GET THAT THING!”
Mikey runs as fast as he can, lashing out his nunchucks again and begins swinging up into the air to get some distance. He has to find somewhere to hide. And fast. Oh, he’s gonna be in so much trouble when this is over. Getting higher into the air, Mikey scopes his surroundings. It’s night, that gives him the advantage of hiding in the shadows. He just has to—
THWISH!
A net launches out at him, tethered to lead balls as they wrap around him and causes him to lose momentum. He shrieks as he hits the ground, thrashing about to try and escape before he hears people surrounding him. EPF soldiers all shouting orders as the exit points close in. He tries to move, tries to stand, but suddenly he is hit with electric shock. Then another. Then another. The soldiers are poking him with tased poles like poking a distressed girl confused for a witch with pitchforks. He shrills, for that’s all he can do.
Suddenly, there are flashes of light. Red, blue, and purple. There’s the sound of shouting. The rustle of someone scooping him up in large arms and carrying him out of there. Mikey tries to struggle free but his limbs are tangled up tight. A swish of a sword, and Mikey drops to the ground.
He gasps for air, panting. He blinks and finds himself on a tall building’s rooftop. And standing in front of him…were 3 very concerned older brothers.
“WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!”, Donnie starts. “DIDN'T WE TELL YOU NOT TO GO OUT TONIGHT? WASN’T IT CLEAR ENOUGH HOW DANGEROUS IT WAS? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!?!”
“You scared us, Mikey!”, Raph gripes. “You can’t just take off like that without telling anyone! What if something bad happened?”
“Mikey…”, Leo hushes. “Are you okay?”
A hiccup. Then a sob. Mikey curls inwards on himself, profusely trying to wipe his tears that refused to stop. His brothers’ expressions softened, now all quickly crouching to the ground and surrounding him with so much worry it’s suffocating. Mikey’s lip trembles in fear and despair as he brings his wobbling vocal chords to speak.
“...i just wanted to be me…”
The older brothers shower the youngest with love and a comforting embrace as Mikey wails into the night sky. All Mikey ever wants is to be loved. To be able to walk down the street with his head held up high and plastron puffed out. Just like everyone else.
But even some of us don’t get to do that either. Do we?
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How come all my Mikey's end up depressed? MLTS Mikey's ending was bitter, no sweet. GEM Mikey had issues tbh. FCAU Mikey...uhh no spoilers from me...
Hope you liked it, Lava! Don't blame me, blame the random number generator that selected you from the prompt spreadsheet. Now, ONTO THE NEXT VICTUM!
#tmnt write fight#rottmnt#tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#teenage mutant ninja turtles#fanfic#writing#rip mikey's halloween candy
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FIC REC WEEK 10 – FOUND FAMILY
AUTHOR SPOTLIGHT: scifigrl47
If you've been in this fandom for any amount of time, you've probably read something of Sci's. The universes that she's created are a fandom staple, and it says a lot about how fantastic her writing is that her OCs fit seamlessly into the stories, to the point that I sometimes forget that they're not actually canon. I especially love the way she writes the whole Found Family aspect of the Avengers, so those are the kinds of fics I want to rec today. But honestly you should just go ahead and binge her entire AO3, because everything on it is incredible.
Here's some of her work that I think you should check out:
Phil Coulson Knows Tony Stark's Super Villain Name
Pairing: Steve/Tony, Clint/Coulson Rating: T Words: 14,454 Tags: Training Exercise, Paintball, Humor
Summary: The only thing really stopping Tony Stark from attempting to conquer the world is that he wouldn't know what to do with it once he conquered it. He's still pretty sure he could do it, though. SHIELD's pretty sure he could do it, too, and SHIELD is pretty uncomfortable with that. There's a plan in place, in case Tony makes a try for world domination, or any sort of caped super villainy. It involves Steve. No one is surprised. This is not that plan. This is a training exercise, involving paint balls. It might end with world domination, anyway.
Reasons why I love it: You just know that if Tony wanted to, he would've taken over the world a long time ago. This fic is hilarious, and I especially love Bruce and Harris' roles in this disaster that Fury calls a training exercise. Also, Darcy is goddamn adorable. This fic always puts a smile on my face, so I hope you check it out!
The Best of Life and Asgard
Pairing: Steve/Tony, Clint/Coulson Rating: M Words: 15,794 Tags: Humor, Public Indecency, Drunken Behavior
Summary: Tony Stark has been drunk at a few parties in his life. A quick browse of YouTube makes that impossible to deny, so he doesn't bother. But he can control himself, he doesn't have to drink. He can stay perfectly sober for just one night. He promised, he could go one night without drinking. The problem is, he was the only one who made that promise.
Reasons why I love it: Drunk Steve is so adorable, oh my god. I love the mild dash of angst sprinkled in at the beginning and the end, and Steve's upset over his own behavior is funny and endearing at the same time. The strip poker scene makes me cry laughing every time. And the Avengers family feels are strong with this one. I adore this fic, so please check it out, if you haven't already!
Phil Coulson Does Not Bake (and The Avengers Do Not Shop At IKEA Anymore)
Pairing: Steve/Tony, Clint/Coulson Rating: G Words: 6,671 Tags: Humor, Pranks, Baking
Summary: Sometimes Tony Stark makes poor choices. Sometimes Tony pushes his teasing of Steve Rogers just a little too far. Sometimes Steve decides he's had enough. Phil Coulson's the one who's got to write this nonsense up, and he does not bake.
Reasons why I love it: Tony is such a little shit. Honestly, he deserves what Steve has in store for him. And of course, Tony is absolutely adorable in his desperation to make it up to Steve, even if he has to learn a new skill to do it. The rest of the Avengers getting roped into it is just the cherry on top. I love this one so much, please go and read it for yourself, it's amazing!
Extracurricular Activities
Pairing: Steve/Tony, Clint/Coulson Rating: T Words: 8,332 Tags: Overprotective Avengers, Poor Choices, Exotic Dancing
Summary: New York has a party for any taste. Some people like high class lounges. Some enjoy a good dive bar. There are gay bars and techno clubs and all night raves. And somewhere out there, there's a club where the dancers are dressed like Super Heroes, and Spider-Man may or may not be their headliner. Let's face it, the everyone assumed that Clint would be the first Avenger to take up pole dancing. He's a little distressed he's been beaten to the punch.
Reasons why I love it: I don't know why, but somehow the thought of Spiderman pole-dancing for money just makes complete sense in my head. And the rest of the Avengers being nosy bitches about it is a given. We love to see it. And any appearance of Harris in a scifigrl47 fic is enough to make my day. This fic is amazing, and you should definitely go ahead and read it!
Phil Coulson is Not the Avengers' Public Relations Manager
Pairing: Steve/Tony, Clint/Coulson Rating: T Words: 6,881 Tags: Humor, Steve Does Not Like Bullies, Social Justice
Summary: From the Avengers Case Files of Phil Coulson: Grocery shopping is necessary, Tony's a little too proud of his tech, Captain America's lost on the streets of New York, and sometimes social injustice just happens. Phil Coulson's the one who's got to write this nonsense up, and he is not their PR Manager.
Reasons why I love it: Drew and Shawn have my entire heart. And Steve too, although that one's a given. I love seeing the Avengers fight for social justice, and their statements to the press are so fucking satisfying. Give me Steve fighting bullies any day! Definitely check this one out if you haven't read it yet, I bet you'll love it just as much as I do!
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Fascinated by alien valkyrie... do happyele really think mixing the two will bring people back? Ive still been playing the eng server because i was already committed to getting new years madara but idk if I'll keep going after that... everything is leaving a bad taste in my mouth but Im sticking around on the periphery at least to see where things go. Morbidly curious.
Also I havent been reading anymore mhyk stories I've just been drained by Everything and then last week my irl that I was gonna watch the anime with got really sick. She's better now so we are gonna watch the first two eps tomorrow but I would like to get back to reading stories... hopefully soon now that things are settling down. -📖
Morbidly curious is my stance too. But to be fair i have never spent money in game, find tiering stupid, and when ppl would ask how to get into enstars id always tell them to read first era instead rather than playing the game so. Well. I still do my starry lives on eng, i wont lie. I wish i never started playing the actual game though, now i struggle to stop when ive had the acc since it was in beta (i did stop playing on the jp server a while ago though since im using eng to read untranslated stories). I will be the first to admit im addicted, and ive overcome past game addictions by telling myself i still have enstars. But im not sure how to stop playing this one now...? I dont want to get into any other game. I read stories with pleasure but playing things is too addictive for me, who lacks routine or purpose otherwise. But this disappointment in recent updates might help me break out of the addiction i hope. Even if enstars still makes me happier than anything and i cant see a world where it's not my special interest~ ill cherish it for what it was to me forever. And even currently i think theres more nuanced than people like to think, given even good rep has been attacked in an attempt to nitpick and get points on estwt. I have complicated feelings on the whole matter that i prefer to keep to myself or close friends. But maybe i already wrote my feelings in those instagram stories i shared from a few days ago and the ask from cookie
Ignore the typo, but these were my feelings from a few days ago irt morbid curiosity. Ive always said im not a fandom account but just a guy with an interest in things - other ppl resonated with my opinions and here we are i suppose. But im critical of a fandom lens in approaching media. My sensitive lone wolf personality, tch... <-joke. Mostly
Aanyway, i think you can wait until a few episodes of mhyk come out to binge them. It starts a bit slow and i was sad it ended so quickly when i watched the first ep. I hope your friend will recover completely from her sickness soon! You said she's better, but still, medical problems are so scary...
Stories will always be here to welcome you back^^ no need to hurry, even though i understand so badly wanting to read but not being in the right mindset or having other issues occupy your time or brainpower instead. I think it took me 4 days to read a 10 chapter story last week, it was baddd. Not the story was bad, my mental state. U get it
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~~~ batman CC spoilers ~~~
Honestly this is the best DC project in years and a return to everything that was good about the og animated series whilst including all the elements of DC cannon that have been created or expanded upon since.
Just a few of my favorite things:
- the SETTING, going back to the 40s noir vibe is a perfect choice, the fights are beautiful and not overcomplicated by gadgets and tech, also allows for some gratuitously beautiful shots that play with shadow.
- batman's age, I don't think Bruce is ever given an age in the show but he seems to be mid 20s early 30s and still an urban legend as the batman, we don't have to waste time with an origin episode/season but we still get to experience a Gotham who doesn't fully trust their vigilante.
- VILLIANS, for me the stand out was harley quinn, divorcing her from the joker allows her character to fully shine, she stays somewhere in the grey but still firmly an antagonist. It's one of the gripes I have with new harley that once she leaves the joker she always becomes more of an anti-hero/hero, keep my girl villainous. Also her psychological background is in full swing, I've always believed Harley is most dangerous when she's in your head and the show leans fully into it. Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss indeed.
- villians pt.2, keeping the theme of the animated series we have our villians for villainy antagonists like penguin and thorn who seem to live on in their counterparts, onomatopoeia and firebug, but we also get nuanced character arcs for 2-face, Natalia and clayface, echoing baby doll and calender woman.
- supporting cast, I'm only familiar with the comics in passing but if attorney Barbra is a new invention then whoever thought of it needs a raise. Also aging her up to be in her early 20s is an incredible change from the animated series where she floated around the freshly 18 mark. It makes her a hero in her own right even if she isn't batgirl (yet), and let's us see Gothams worst and how she's already fighting for change.
- Supporting cast pt.2, Montoya! My beloved, I'm not sure where her romance with harley is going but I can't wait, it's great to see such an archetypal noir cop, even more so than Jim, who speaking of I love as well, his want to protect the city but also butting heads with barbie on methods is perfect characterization in my option.
-baby bruce, horrifying, I love him. Alfred has personal beef with harley now, the second he saw an opportunity to throw that man in therapy she gives him valid paranoia of the entire profession just as he was thinking about trying it properly, I know it's on sight for him going forward.
- art, I've binged the animated series many times at this point and it's a running gag in the fandom that some frames are ... unique. Obviously the animators were working with what they had, but the step up in fight choreography and flow is spectacular, the whole show is a love letter to old batman with a new varnish of the animation productions of today.
Overall an amazing show that had me laugh and gasp in equal amounts, it took itself seriously in a way most superhero media won't do anymore, I distinctly thought in ep.9 when batman swings away from Montoya and Jim "wow they didn't put in a stupid snark about him being dramatic or having a nice ass ect" and it's like a breath of fresh air.
As far as nitpicks go I wished we had more of Bruce in isolation, or having real conversations, but I realize the focus of this season was his loneliness and how the final episode states he's opening up more to the 3 main supporting characters. I'm also worried for how important the joker might become but that's basically instinct at this point (please kill him off, i want to see the reactions).
Going forward I can't wait to see if we get any follow up on the Easter egg characters, killer croc, the 4 Robin's, king tut. I'd love to see the batman as a dad he's got a lot of kindness modern adaptations don't include, but still that overwhelmingly lonely nature. I'm hoping harley and the joker never cross paths in this universe but I won't hold my breath and I'd like to see if we will get a batgirl/oracle storyline as well.
Anyways looking forward to the confirmed second season, and if you read this without watching the show, start now.
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Hi, if you don't mind, can I ask from this ask game :
https://www.tumblr.com/theclearblue/761071267749265408/anime-asks-because-why-not?source=share
For no. 4, 6, 8, 13, 14, 15, 16, 18, 20, 23, 24, 28
Thanks if you want to answer whichever that you want.....
Ayyy, sure! Sorry for taking so long to reply to this!
4. Least favorite anime character: Kinoshita Kazuya
This one was hard. I usually have lots of characters I like and lots that I’m neutral about but none that I quite hate. One character that left me particularly grossed out, though, was this guy. I can’t say I hate him, but I’ve never been so instantly put off by a fictional character. The combination of being plain disgusting and stupid with having absolutely no redeeming qualities and nothing going on for him was particularly unsettling. It’s not even that he gave us nothing; he really only gave his worst.
6. Popular anime that you didn’t like: Violet Evergarden
Y’all know me. Y’all know where I’m coming from. 🫠
8. Anime character you’re the most like: Honestly, no idea. I’d like to know people’s opinions on this one.
13. Funnest anime you have watched: This one is kinda abstract. I have no idea how to measure the fun. My all-time favorite isn’t exactly what I’d call “fun” and I have too many that I consider fun animes.
14. Saddest anime you have ever watched: Midori Shoujo Tsubaki.
I know that this one aims to be a lot of things way above its intention to be melancholic, but it’s definitely the anime where I’ve felt worst about the protagonist. The ending is surrealistic yet too real at the same time. It’s probably the anime that had me going “damn, that’s sad as hell” the most.
15. Anime you never get sick of watching: Sen to Chihiro no Kamikakushi
I have quite a few anime that I’d rewatch anytime if I felt like it, but this is the only one that I feel like rewatching whenever I see anything related to it. I probably have answered this in every anime ask game I’ve played, but Sen to Chihiro is my all-time favorite anime and movie.
Another anime that I never get tired of rewatching is Gakkou no Kaidan. I used to rewatch it every year on Halloween as a personal tradition when I was a kid and I have a physical copy of all the books in the series. I only don’t rewatch it anymore because I hardly have time for binging nowadays, but if I could do it again? Damn right I would.
16. 10 best animes you have watched: That’s tough! I have a long list of favorites. Aside from Sen to Chihiro, in no particular order:
1. Heike Monogatari
2. Fullmetal Alchemist (I’m combining the first one with Brotherhood here because I love the whole franchise and I’ve always felt that they complete each other)
3. Mushishi
4. Card Captor Sakura
5. Inuyasha
6. Rurouni Kenshin (the first one)
7. Soul Eater
8. Nana
9. Yu Yu Hakusho
10. Monster
18. 10 worst anime you’ve watched (this one is also in no particular order and there’s actually way more than just 10 but here we go):
1. PUPA
2. Diabolik Lovers
3. Drammatical Murder
4. Kaze no Na wa Amnesia
5. Nora
6. Ghost in the Shell: SAC_2025
7. Berserk (2016)
8. Mahou Shoujo ni Akogarete
9. Ro-Kyu-Bu!
10. Kamierabi GOD.app
20. Least favorite anime ships: Literally any inc*st and p*do ship.
23. Unpopular character you love: I don’t really have unpopular characters that I love, but there sure are characters whom I love yet a good chunk of the fandom detests.
24. Popular character you hate: Also don’t have any. I’m either neutral or love them. But then again, there are characters that the fandom is obsessed with yet make me feel next to nothing.
28. Most upsetting moment in anime and why: The entirety of Tsurune, lol. Because the novels (albeit not well-written) are leagues above it in content, depth, overall plot and character handling. It’s pretty much a spiritual experience once you realize what the author is trying to convey, which the studio not only didn’t understand but also tried to run from like the devil runs from the cross. Pretty sure the author also wasn’t too hyped about some things in the anime, as implied in one of her afterwords.
This was fun to do! Thank you!
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oh my god I binge read sea glass garden last night and the third and fourth chapter DESTROYED ME.
I’m omw to reread the entire fic because it was too good and I KNOW that it’s going to be one of the must-reads of this fandom. I’m literally in love with all your characters (your Tsumiki is so freaking interesting she was READY to get at it with Maki✊🏻) especially your description of Megumi’s situation is killing me, my heart is in pieces. No matter how many stories there are depicting the years before his high school time, there will always be too few idc.
I’m pretty sure it’s canonically stated that Megumi went on missions before being enrolled as a student and that he witnessed the death of at least one comrade, all because he had been bought to be a jujutsu sorcerer. Imagine never having the delusion of a future because you signed your life away to ensure your sister would live happily. Your take on the fact that, maybe, at some point of his life, Megumi didn’t wish to be a jujutsu sorcerer anymore destroys me. I never really thought of it, and he probably never imagined a life for himself where he wouldn’t die as a jujutsu sorcerer either. He was downright begging to be left to die in peace because he couldn’t bear it any longer when he shouldn’t have even gone on missions yet at all😭 And even though his current injuries weren’t caused by a mission, I don’t think he’d be so stupid to try to tame the snake unsupervised a few days after Geto’s death. Like c’mon. It’s all the higher ups fault, because it always is. Damn them. I hope they choke on their rotting teeth😤
ANYWAY I GOT LOST ON THE WAY TO ASK YOU A QUESTION JANSJAJANJAHA I ramble way too much
I noticed the updates have been pretty frequent, so do you have an update schedule with pre-written chapters? No because if you don’t I applaude you for being able to write masterpieces in a few days😩
P.S. I was curious about the meaning of the title and I read your other post about it and it’s so beautiful😭 obviously it’s sad but it also speaks of the determination of humans’ will to survive yk? You are genius���
No update schedule, unfortunately! I don’t have the self control to not post chapters when I have them. I go on hyperfixation-fueled writing binges and writers block crashes of unending despair. It’s a Whole Thing. Updates tend to come in waves with me. It’ll probably be pretty erratic updates until the story ends. Thank you for reading and for your kind words!
You are speaking my ENTIRE LANGUAGE with Megumi. He is, hands down, the most interesting character in the show to me. His backstory and how it intertwines with his philosophy and approach to morality make him just so unendingly interesting to me.
Like, the Fushiguro siblings and specifically Megumi really were doomed by the narrative from the start. Megumi never really lived in a world where he had a future. Like, the past arc takes place during spring of 2006, and his dad had ditched long enough at that point that he straight up forgot megumi's name. Tsumiki's mom had been gone long enough that Megumi thought she and his dad ran off together, so she probably wasn't around after Toji stopped coming. Megumi was born late December of 2002, so he would have been three then. Tsumiki was, at most, five. And because Gojo didn't go to meet them until after Geto's massacre in late summer of 2007, it was just the two of them for at least a year.
Like, the sheer horror of being two very small children taking care of each other, knowing that the money's running out and that your parents probably aren't coming back. They were living in abject poverty, and Megumi was most likely seeing curses during at least part of this (considering he was right at the age for it and he wasn't all that surprised with Gojo rolling up to tell him his dad was from a magic clan) with no idea what they were, because even if Toji explained anything (which i doubt) the chances of Megumi remembering the explanation aren't great. He's seeing horrifying things every day and doesn't have any support past his sister, who can't see the same.
Tsumiki and Megumi faced parentification at a ludicrously young age. We know that Tsumiki most likely took a pretty strong caretaking/maternal role for megumi from an early age, but the fact that baby Megumi's only question when Gojo found him and made his offer was about Tsumiki's happiness suggests that the caretaking wasn't one sided. Making decisions about your future based on the needs of your family is a very adult concern, and it was Megumi's only concern. While Tsumiki was canonically far more open with her affection and care (grumpy baby Megumi refusing to hold hands, you have my whole heart), Megumi definitely loved her deeply already and was modeling his actions with her interests in mind. They must have both been shouldering the load of raising and protecting the other for as long as they can remember. Tsumiki and Megumi were likely barely surviving day to day. They were already shouldering the stresses of grown ups and likely didn't have any of those childish, starry-eyed dreams about what it would be like when they grew up.
Even when Gojo enters the scene, the parentification didn't end. While he does take on a paternal/caretaking role, his intro into their lives very much heralded a time where Megumi became the family's compulsory breadwinner. I won't break down my thoughts on how Gojo probably wasn't the one who came up with the deal of Megumi being collateral for their survival since I already did it in another post, but however it came about, it doesn't change the fact that Megumi knows that he's the one his family's survival hinges on from a stupidly young age.
We know that Megumi was training/working as a jujutsu sorcerer pre-canon. Gojo straight up tells him at age 4 that he's going to need him to work hard, he references the fact that he's been training megumi for a while in season 1, Megumi admits to nobara that he's lost a comrade on a mission before Yuuji (though Yuuji was the first that was his age), and Megumi knows a lot of the people in this world. By the time canon starts, he's been training with Kamo since before Kamo entered school, so for 3-4 years minimum, and Mai knows him as well. Kamo straight up says that Megumi's got more talent than the head of the Zenin clan by his first year, and his Grade 2 status at entrance means he's considered a prodigy. There's also a lot of little scenes that suggest that Megumi's been doing this a while. When Gojo's talking to Yuuji about the detention center fight, he makes a few comments about how Megumi likely understood the reality of the fight and just how bad their odds were better than the other two, suggesting 1) megumi has the experience already to do that and 2) Gojo has witnessed him in the field enough to get a sense of how he evaluates situations. He's been doing this a while.
But the thing is that he's also passively suicidal the entirety of season 1. And that's probably because he spent his entire life believing he was going to die young.
He probably doesn't think of it as being passively suicidal, but he absolutely is. The sacrifice bunt vs Yuuji's homerun in season 1 is SUCH A GOOD MICROCOSM OF HIS CHARACTER.
Yuuji has the blind confidence of a very young god who was never informed that there were other gods that were older and more powerful and will kick his fucking ass. Like, he will be in Sukuna's throne room after the man ripped his heart out and Literally Killed Him and still be like "I will beat your entire ass." No doubt. No hesitation. I simply love him.
Megumi, meanwhile, walks into fights knowing he will find one that he can't win. Yuuji thinks he can beat anyone, but Megumi defaults to the assumption that he can't win in a way that is really suggestive of a very, very deep underlying mental issue.
I don't know if you're anime-only or if you know what the "trump card" gojo refers to during his training scene with Megumi, so I'll confine it to what's already appeared in the anime. Throughout the anime, there's multiple times where it's alluded to the fact that Megumi has some kind of "trump card" where he can take his enemy down with him. Gojo specifically refers to it as "dying to win." Sukuna even recognized to some degree that he was pulling it during their fight and called it "burning through your own life." Whatever it is, it's a sacrifice play. It's taking someone down with him.
And we see throughout the anime multiple times where he almost pulls it. Sukuna is the biggest example, but he likely almost pulled it twice in the fight against Hanami during the Goodwill Event arc. When Hanami first confronts them, Megumi immediately says "Get Inumaki out of here" to Kamo.
And that's fucking weird. Inumaki's a semi-grade one sorcerer, higher than him. He's his very experienced senpai. He's no slouch in a fight. Kamo is older than all of them, has been training his entire life, and is a first grade sorcerer. Out of all of them, Megumi was the baby kohai who should have been leaning on the older students. Instead, he's trying to get them out of the line of fire. He probably saw an immeasurably powerful special grade and decided to pull the same trump card he almost pulled in the fight against Sukuna as soon as Inumaki and Kamo were safe.
Later, when Hanami has Maki by the throat, after he was already hit by her root attack that would kill him if he used cursed energy, he makes the same hand signals he did during the Sukuna fight while thinking about how he's the one who has to make the sacrifice play. He was absolutely killing himself to win.
And that mentality makes so much sense when you consider that Megumi already made the sacrifice play with him and his sister all those years ago.
He's spent his entire life locked into being a sorcerer. It's the collateral keeping himself and his sister alive. He doesn't have a way out. His future employment is collateral for an already-accrued debt; he just doesn't have the option to quit and do something else the way everyone else does. And the thing about being a sorcerer is that the mortality rate is not awe-inspiring, to the point where the Kyoto students canonically tried not to get close to each other because they knew that a decent number of them would be dying young and it would hurt less.
Megumi's not stupid, and he's been doing this for a long time. He's probably been reconciling with his own likely violent death for a long time by the time canon starts, and it really fucking shows with how he approaches fights until the bridge fight. There's something so tragic and sad about that to me. Like, what age was he when he realized this life would probably kill him? When he realized that he would never have a way out?
When you bring in his own morality structure and philosophical approach to life, that entire mindset becomes so fucking interesting. Because Megumi's plainly fucking furious that people did this to him.
Megumi's middle school bullying days is both hilarious and endlessly fascinating in the context of his history. His entire thing is that he hates bad people and believes that we’re born into a fundamentally unjust world. Specifically, he hates people that look at the vulnerable and lack empathy for them, to the point where he ended up going out of his way to beat up every single bully in his middle school an unilaterally enforce peace. He had an entire dramatic speech about how he was doing this because they had hurt others—the worlds based on social construct, "please don't kill me and I won't kill you." They had broken that to make themselves feel strong, and if they did it again in front of him, he'd kill them. All that jazz. And it's really interesting that he never once looks down on the people getting bullied. There's a huge emphasis on strength as tied to value in JJK--Sukuna and Gojo being some of the biggest examples--but Megumi only looks down on a lack of empathy and compassion, not people who are physically weak.
Once that's contextualized with the fact that the person who was supposed to protect him abandoned him and sold him to some very bad people, it becomes a lot more tragic. He's doomed by the narrative and he's self aware of the fact that he's doomed. He spends his entire middle school years kicking the shit out of people who take advantage of people because they can, and I personally think that's because that's exactly what happened to him when he was a kid. There's always a bigger fish, and some pretty fucking big fish have him in a corner. But he's the biggest fish in the pond of his middle school, and he does not put up with people who hurt others just because they can.
He spends his last years before becoming a full time sorcerer acting as the sort of person that never was there for him as a child, and there's something so tragic about that to me. Megumi just reads as someone who's already accepted he's doomed and is so angry he wasn't saved.
Even his name has tinges of tragedy to me. Like, it's the difference between "blessing" and "blessed."
On his face, Megumi seems like he's blessed. He won the genetic lottery. He was born with one of the most powerful techniques in the franchise, the one that the Zenin clan desperately wants. It's rare enough that no one else alive has inherited it. It's suggested that it's the Zenin equivalent to the Six Eyes, and Gojo's the one who's always saying how he alone is blessed by heaven. Even Kamo, who isn't even Zenin, commented during their fight on how much people wanted someone like Maki or Mai to get it instead. I won't comment on manga events, but as it proceeds, it becomes even more obvious just how valuable his technique is considered to be.
But Megumi doesn't seem to particularly care about his technique.
He said at one point that, in middle school, he didn't really want to be a jujutsu sorcerer because he couldn't imagine who he'd want to save (the fact that his first act in the series is to save Yuuji is another discussion entirely that I am so mentally ill about). Megumi spends the series surrounded by people who are extremely impressed by and focused on his technique, but for Megumi? His technique and its value seems to be the thing that trapped him. No one was ever going to let him live in peace, and he was young enough that he had no real way to protect his own interests.
He never got to be a kid who got to dream about what he'd be when he grew up. Other kids got to say they'd be an astronaut, or an actor, or a veterinarian or whatever, and he has known that he would be lucky to not die in wizard school his entire childhood. He is a blessing for other people, for the Zenin who want his technique, for the higher ups who effectively own him until he repays his debt, but he's not blessed. He's just valuable sea glass with collectors circling. He hates his name, and I think he hates what he is as well. He's an extraordinarily strong willed person who hates people who take advantage, but he's spent his entire life with a boot on his neck. that must piss him off.
I think his relationship with jujutsu sorcerer would have potentially been a lot better if it had been a choice for him, but he's someone who intensely values control over himself who has been controlled by the circumstances of his birth his entire life. There are all these tiny ways in the show that he tries to exert control over his own circumstances because he just doesn't have a lot of control over his life and it's just amazing character design.
He's just so tragic to me. I am so mentally unwell over him.
Tsumiki and the fact that she was fully about to fight Maki for a hot minute was a lot harder to settle on, mostly because we just don't get a lot about her. But I actually kind of like those kinds of characters? I get to play more in those sandboxes and have more freedom with the character because I'm just using what's little known about them as a bouncing off point and making shit up for the rest.
And with Tsumiki we just do not have a huge amount because she's in a magic coma when canon starts. What little we have is coming through Megumi, who is a naturally unreliable narrator when it comes to her. Like, in his mind, her primarily defines her as "a good person," and that makes a lot of sense when you consider that this is his big sister who was, effectively, the only source of stability and care he had growing up and is almost completely lost to him by the start of canon. he's the last person i would expect to be an reliable narrator about her.
Fanon (at least what I've seen) seems to have translated what we've seen to her into "kind natured good girl" which I don't entirely agree with? I just don't think those kind of people exist. Like, the one's who are all sunshine and rainbows and kind thoughts all the time. Everyone has negative emotions; it's just a matter of how they deal with them.
Also what little concrete we have on her doesn't necessarily suggest she fits that kind of eternally-caring good girl motif anyway.
There's the big example, where she says she would much rather think about the ones she loves rather than curse anyone. This very notably isn't an idealistic "everyone has good in them" rationalization, but it's more "I have better things to do with my time." Forgiving bad people is a trait that Megumi attributes to her, but he's an unreliable narrator about her, so it may be accurate or it may not be. There's a difference between forgiving someone and taking a policy of non-interference.
It's also suggested that she doesn't actually look down on the absence of forgiveness--she actually comments pretty favorably on it. She says that Megumi's refusal to forgive people is a part of his kindness. This suggests that, even though she goes after him for fighting, it's not some kind of perfectly kind "forgiveness is the right thing to do" rationalization. She recognizes the nuance in Megumi's actions and his anger. The thing she really gets on him for is the fighting itself, not the anger, and fighting 1) has wider impacts on Megumi (physically, mentally, emotionally, on his record, etc) and 2) it's suggested that she gets on him because of these wider impacts. We never actually see her discuss it at all in terms of the people he beats up, and Megumi thinks, in retrospect, that she was picking him to care about the same way that he picks who he saves. Again, he's unreliable, so this may be true and it may not be, but I find her character so interesting if it is true, especially in light of her quote about not cursing people because she'd rather think of her loved ones.
That takes Tsumiki from the kind of "prototypical good girl" character type into the realm of someone who has picked to only care about certain people and approach the rest of the world with polite indifference. She doesn't share Megumi's anger at the world, but she doesn't exactly approach it with starry-eyed idealism either.
A much better example of starry-eyed idealism within JJK is actually Yuuji (pre-Junpei) or Geto (pre-genocidal breakdown) than Tsumiki--and the narrative immediately deconstructs both cases of starry-eyed idealism, suggesting that it doesn't genuinely tie being a "good person" to those approaches to morality.
Both Yuuji and Geto kind of spout like, baby's first philosophy class styles of idealism. And I don't mean that in a derogatory way towards either of them--they're both highly empathetic teenagers who care a lot about the world and people in it who are trapped in a system that is fundamentally hostile. Yuuji has a stance of "even considering killing would affect my soul" and Geto has a stance of "I exist for the sake of protecting those weaker than me," both of which aren't wholly without merit, but both are overly simplistic and lack nuance. Which makes sense, because they're both a teenager's approach to morality. In a safer environment, they could have grown in nuance and had their world views challenged safely. but the system they're both existing in isn't safe and never has been--so Yuuji ends up having to confront his stance on killing when he has to put literal children trapped in inexplicable torment out of their misery, and Geto goes off his rocker entirely.
In contrast, Tsumiki really isn't as idealistic as either of them, from what little we see of her. She never once gets close to their levels of "I want to save everyone" syndrome--it's straight up that she's picked her people to care about and has better things to do with her time than waste it on hate and anger. Contextualizing it within her background, that reads more like a survival strategy than being a sparkly kind perfect good girl.
She was a very young girl who had to shoulder a huge amount of responsibility at a young age. She was stuck in terrible circumstances, living well below the poverty line, with her only support being a brother that was even younger than her. We don't know anything about her mom or bio dad, or how much she knows about/remembers Toji, but it's interesting that Toji's approach to life is the antithesis of Tsumiki's.
Toji was so caught up in his own bitterness towards how he was treated that a big part of why he took Riko's assassination was so he could prove he was stronger than *checks notes* a sixteen year old miracle baby and his repressed boyfriend. In the end, the fact that he was caught up in his bitterness was his downfall, and he said it himself: he normally would have fucked off the second Gojo showed up after the assassination was done. He directly ignored his instincts to prove a monkey like him could take on the pinnacle of jujutsu sorcery, and that's what killed him.
There's not enough in canon to tell us either way if tsumiki had any impressions of the adults in her life, but I honestly really like the idea of her looking at the a life where the adults are neglecting her because they've been consumed by their own anger and hate and purposefully deciding to not let it consume her as well. To discard that kind of stuff, not because she thinks there's good in everyone or that it's horribly wrong to have negative emotions, but because she has the people she loves and she's building a life with them by sheer force of will. She's fleeing the teeth of a beast, not approaching the world through rose-colored glass.
For another thing, we have legitimately two actions that she's canonically taken in the series. One was nail Megumi in the back of the head with a milk carton during a fight, the other was fling her fucking body off a bridge with a homemade bungee chord. Girl's probably not a nun.
I ended up deciding that the core of Tsumiki's character needed to be that had a, for lack of a better word, selfish way of loving people. Not to say that she acts selfishly (if anything, canon shows she's intensely selfless when it comes to the people she loves), but just that she's decided to conserve her efforts and care to center around the people she loves and not care about the whole world and everything in it. In her mind, Megumi's kindness is in part because he's angry on the behalf of other people, which is a trait she doesn't share. She cares about her brother and just straight up doesn't have the time or resources for everyone else. Megumi is her landmine.
There's not enough in canon to contradict this reading of her, which makes her fun to write. So she's a relatively nice and polite girl until her brother's in danger, in which case she's immediately stealing cars and about to throw hands with a girl holding a polearm. She's so fun.
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk spoilers#fushiguro tsumiki#fushiguro megumi#sea glass gardens#those that have been following me for a while know that the ask box comes at the risk of 73 different tangents in the answer#that's right folks it's yet another info dump
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I got a question again- (sorry if I bother ya-) do you hyperfixation about other thing beside smg4? Like what else do you like beside smg4
Thats fine I don't bother, thats also the reason why my askbox is always available <33
I AM still in the Spongebob Fandom and also Lego Monkie Kid. But besides any other fandoms? Nah-
If anyone here is wondering I'd be in TADC or Murder Drones. The simple answer I have on that is, no. I'm not in the fandoms but I do like watching the videos/animations.
In the fandom SpongeBob SquarePants, @flaray25 "@/Gaming_MusicOn" - WATTPAD
I used to have a big hyperfixation about a certain ship (SquidBob) that I TOTALLY didn't make a presentation about their dynamic/relationship with each other.
Made a BUNCH of arts/comics/fanfics of the two gay creatures... in what reason? FOR GIVING ME IDEAS FROM THEIR DYNAMIC AS THE OPTIMISSTIC/PESSIMISTIC SUN/MOON. I CRY AND BLEED FOR IT.
Ahem- in any other reasons, this ship changed my life FOREVER. As in like EVER AT ALL. I made like 20+ comics in traditional with 200 pages with my ugly ass artstyle. And in Digital with 23 separate comics and maybe about 80+ pages? Im not quite sure.
I published 20 stories (OLD FICS) that were about the ship and 2 stories (18 if separate) as two different ships
It was fun staying. I loved staying there until it got a bit toxic from my space in a personal issue.
But I'm good now ^^ just don't draw alot of it nowadays.
I'm also in the fandom called "The Lego Monkie Kid"
- TIKTOK ACCOUNT - @ray-is-they "@/Ray_is_They" Princex of SpicyNoodles
I'm pretty sure if people stayed here you guys know about a certain yellow lemon character of someone. DerpLee.
They motivated me to go watch the season. And so I did. I binge watched the WHOLE SEASONS.
It was great! It was very catchy and nonetheless the animations are pretty impressive! So smooth and perfect! I joined in right after there was a shipping dynamic of Enemies to Lovers. (AKA MK and RedSon = SpicyNoodlesShipping)
I've had SO- MANY... content creations from the ship of SpicyNoodles BACK WHEN TIKTOK was the mostly place I hang around. I got a bit influenced ever since I hear audios that give out their vibes and thats where I started a lil bit of animation even tho it was a bit lazy-
I had 2 published works of the ship from wattpad because... IT'S BEAUTIFUL TO CREATE IT?
I hundred percent sure that I hyperfixated about their whole relationship with eachother. Yes.
I kind of well abandoned the channel now so uhh yeaaaaaaa???????? (I made it to 4k followers but didnt made a special animatic about it I'm so lovely.)
But I still do observe and keep notified on what would be the upcoming season 5 will be... I'll stay on TUNED for that once it releases...
And so you have these two :33 cough. But now that I have this account now, I am no longer active much working with two so I RARELY post there anymore. (I'd have to apologize for the people I promised making an animatic for... aaaaaa-)
And yes. I do notice my followers are also a fan of lmk I see it. (I LOVE MEI-)
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i think about so many things so much ?
i wish there was a way to talk about things relevant to this blog easier without straight up doxxing myself. i suppose with enough looking into it you could figure it out but i am actually trying very hard to not say too much, but i kind of do wanna pay attention to and talk about liiga hockey more and i kinda do wanna talk about the new outdoor sporting areas we're getting and such but like... i don't really even say i'm from finland anymore, it's kind of obvious, but it's not like in my bio anymore, nor is my name, which is very obviously finnish i feel. idk i don't like helsinki but maybe if i lived there i would feel normaler about posting about it.
i'm trying very hard to make progress on what i'm working on. i still don't know what the, like, etiquette is posting about something someone paid money to charity to get out of you. anyway. i'm writing so out of order and it's such a mess but i am getting words down which is the most important part i think. i'm waiting on something for easier research and i think i can start writing more in order after that and it'll be good. i also fear in the name of staying faithful to the vibe i am making the fucking D-plots of the whole thing too convoluted. oh well. i'll figure it out i'm sure.
i also saw a post about posting whatever you want and not being ashamed bc it's fanfic and you can do whatever and maybe from the things i've posted you can tell i believe in that and i also think... well. i don't really believe in anoning fics to hide that you wrote them, i tend to use anon as an extension of the artistic expression. if someone wanted to know about my anon fics i don't know that i'd have any issue with talking about them. but i think the works i have posted on anon work better and have more to say if you don't know anything about who wrote them. there's no additional context to consider, it's just the work itself. maybe that's silly. i just think writing some horny freak shit is just gonna get you respect in fandom circles more than anything. at least in my mind.
on smaller things, a buddy gave me their d+ login so i've been binging air crash investigation which is fun and also tumblr is recommending me blogs going "look it's a hockey blog" and then it'll be a photo of my boy enemy i picked up from wjc B( i don't wanna see that kid's face ever UNLESS someone is gonna write a fic with the premise of "he was such a dickbag because he has a crush on whoever on team finland and he wanted attention" then maybe i can forgive him for a moment... but as i don't think that's not happening i wish ry*n le*nard the worst !!
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Hi... I have read a lot of your fics on A03 and fanfiction net and first of all I wanna say; You are a truly amazing, gifted, masterful and captivating author. And I love you. I'm never able to move on from your fics. Of course I go about with my life but the stories are there in my mind, eating at me...in a good way. You know... I finished entire TVDU altogether, like I started watching Originals right after finishing TVD and Legacies after Originals. So, I never really stayed too much on TVD. Also personally, I never liked TVD because of all the love triangle drama. A love triangle is my least favorite trope, especially when it comes between 2 best friends or siblings. And the whole drama was so unnecessary. I'm not saying Delena is irrelevant. But it was 100% over-hyped. Even then, I've noticed Bamon. I was a fan of Klaroline. And in the middle of searching for Klaroline fanfics I found myself typing Bamon in the search bars of wattpad. I never dwelt upon on it. I saved a lot of different type of fics to my library then deleted it all during on of my breakdown sections. Then I got into BL fandom. That was so random and I was a devoted jikook fan for a year. I still am. But about a month ago I randomly searched for Bamon fanfic on A03. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT INSPIRED ME. I wasn't even thinking about rewatching TVD or anything. I just opened A03 and searched Bamon. And your "guilty ones" is the first that I came upon. It was a ride ever since then. Every time I read one of your stories I'm hit with a whole of emotions. When I started reading bamon I intended to binge watch TVD. But now, it physically pains me to watch it knowing that we'll never get a bamon endgame even when they had such STRONG CHEMISTRY, PLOT LINE AND POTENTIAL. And watching him go after Elena as her loyal dog just hurts and irritates me beyond words. Damon saying "I love you" to bonnie and then adding "just like Elena did"... I never hated a fictional scene so much. THE BETRAYAL. You don't even wanna know how much I bawled my eyes out after reading "Preludio". I know it had a happy ending. But still, all the death and unrealized feelings got the best of me. Your stories evoke a lot of feelings in me. And I can't seem to get enough. I just hope you are doing well and will find your inspiration for all the halfway stopped Bamon fics. Love you.
Hi there, thanks a lot for reading my stories and for reaching out. I am just so happy whenever I get to open people's eyes to the untapped, beautiful potential of Bamon. The show basically spelled out they were soulmate and enemies to lovers but then chickened out of it because they were cowards and other things I won't mention because it just makes it all worse. I hope I don't sound mean or cruel, but I love when people cry over my stories lol, it's just that it's such a visceral reaction that tells me you were really captured by it and lived the feelings to the fullest, so that makes me really happy.
Every now and again the thought of going back to finishing my stories cross my mind, but work and poor ispiration gets in the way usually. People don't seem to engage with my stories as they did before, since the show is not on anymore, so part of me is not sure it wouldn't be just wasted time/effort, still, I am aware I haven't give up on them, so I suppose it's just a matter of time. Stick around if you can.
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twenty questions for fic writers
As a treat entirely for me I get to do a meme. I wasn't tagged and I won't tag anyone but invite anyone who wants to do it to treat yourself too!
How many works do you have on AO3?
33, though 3 of those are posted anonymously (2 RPF that I'm not wholly comfortable having attached to my name anymore, 1 based around a Problematic Trope that I'm too chicken to own up to)
That's like an average of just under 2 fics per year I've been posting to Ao3, ha.
But I probably have about 20 wips for CQL alone, you know how it is
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
92,993 apparently.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Pretty monogamous at any given time - obviously CQL right now, though I did slip out that cathartic Good Omens thing earlier this year.
Previous big hitters (by my standards) were Dragon Age and The Musketeers (BBC version, yes I know)
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
From Now On (陈情令 | The Untamed (TV) (1,013)
The Look You Give (陈情令 | The Untamed (TV) (995)
Retrospect (陈情令 | The Untamed (TV) (552)
In the Quiet It Will Grow (陈情令 | The Untamed (TV) (507)
A natural liking (Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV) (487)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I go through phases...I think it's polite to, and I do try, but also when I comment on a fic I don't actually expect a response from the author (though it's always nice!) so I don't angst about it. I obviously LOVE comments, it's not for lack of caring.
When I don't respond it's always because I end up overthinking what I should say, like does "thank you! <3" ten times in row look insincere.
Sometimes I go on a reply binge and start responding to really old comments, and that probably looks weirder.
6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I think I gravitate towards bittersweet or melancholy endings generally, though not usually real downers. Stories that take place within an angsty point of canon are good for this, like
A Promise (X-Men: First Class)
A Kind of Cruel (BBC Musketeers)
Probably angstiest of all is the very short For the wounded (Dragon Age: Inquisition) which is set in a Bad End post-canon.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
I feel like "happy endings" suggest some kind of narrative arc and most of my finished fics are too oneshotty to really have that. But I'd say my fluffiest, most angst-free are probably:
Safe Keeping (Dragon Age: Inquisition)
Nights Bright Days (Good Omens)
A natural liking (Good Omens)
In the Quiet It Will Grow (The Untamed)
8. Do you get hate on fics?
I don't think I've ever got a hateful comment? If I have I've repressed it. I've had a couple that I wasn't sure what to make of, or which I felt misinterpreted what the story was about, but nothing mean.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
DO I. Smutty oneshots my beloved.
In terms of like, sex acts, pretty vanilla, though I think some of my favoured tropes could be considered Problematic (a bit of dubcon, Cloud Recesses arc smut). Whatever it is, it has to be extremely emotional. If the participants aren't experiencing heightened emotions of some kind and having them described in long introspective paragraphs it's not me.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
No, my tastes are deeply boring and I have zero interest in crossovers or most AUs.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not to my knowledge.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
In the Quiet It Will Grow was translated into Brazilian Portuguese with permission, though I didn't realise it was going on wattpad and didn't think to ask (it's fine, but I do prefer the Ao3 "inspired by" function). A bit random, but still, flattering.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No, I kind of like the idea but I think I'm too precious about the process and have too specific an idea of what the final piece should be.
I do love the collaborative storytelling of D&D, but prose is a whole different matter.
14. What's your all-time favorite ship?
Surely it's whichever one you're into at the time of asking? So obviously right now it's wangxian taking up most of my brainspace, but really most of the serious ships I've had I still have affection for. But wangxian is the only ship I've done both art and fic for, and overall feels like the deepest cut.
15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
SO many unpublished wips, but Against your will is one of my two published wips and for that reason I would like to see it finished, but unless I get back in and refamiliarise myself with the canon again I don't think it'll happen.
Also I have all these other wangxian wips that are like...look at them, they're everywhere, spilling out of my pockets, strewn across the floor of every room
16. What are your writing strengths?
My method is usually to overwrite then trim back to the bare bones so I think my finished prose usually feels quite..."clean", and to the point. That might not count as a strength to everyone though!
In terms of things I most commonly get good comments about: characterisation, emotion, and clear description of action (people can easily picture what's happening)
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Dialogue, maybe? I hope it doesn't feel weak in the finished story but it's definitely the thing I find hardest - I'm very conscious of dialogue feeling right for a character and it's usually the part I rewrite the most.
Also actually sitting down and drafting stories in the first place. Obviously.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
I mean, I don't speak any other languages and dialogue is hard enough so god, no, unless it's a word or expression that is used by the characters canonically.
I don't mind it in fic as a reader but if I'm having to copy-paste paragraphs into google translate just to figure out what's going on I'm probably not going to persevere.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Oh, you mean the Buffy self insert fics I hand wrote in a notebook 14-year-old me kept under their pillow.
20. Favorite fic you've written?
This is hard because...I'm pretty happy with most fic I've published. I can definitely see flaws but overall if I've finished something and stuck it online I like it, and I've reread every one at least once (I am my own target audience).
Secondly, I think my favourite fic is usually the one or ones I'm in the process of writing. I'm always trying to improve and like to think the next one I finish will be the best I've done (unrealistic I know).
That said,
Keep Burning (Dragon Age: Inquisition) is a fic I'm still really proud of. It's far from perfect and I remember it being a tough experience to write but it came out mostly how I wanted in the end. It still feels like one of the most emotionally...honest things I finished. Also I know it made people cry, and I don't know if anything else I've written has done that.
Also There Grew Between is probably the CQL fic I'm most satisfied with, I just think the pacing and structure work really well and it's the one fic I wish got more love because I like so much how it came out.
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hi becca! i hope you're doing okay! i've been thinking about fandoms and streaming a lot these days and how much more enjoyable watching TV shows was.
do you think streaming killed fandoms and the whole culture(? not sure what to call it) of watching shows? because we used to wait weeks for 1 episode and we could theorise and write fanfic and discuss things etc vs now we get a whole season in one day and if you don't watch it immediately, oh well, get ready to be spoiled. and honestly i hate the way it is now sometimes i just don't want to spend 12 hours straight watching a new season, but i can't possibly blacklist and avoid every single spoilers. i still want to be on the Internet and talk to my friends and not live in fear of when i'm getting spoiled (okay that's a bit of an exaggeration but you know). and of course there are still fanfictions and fanart and beautiful gifs, but everything comes at you all at once. you can't even digest anything. i'm forgetting new shows faster because i watch the whole thing in one sitting and i don't even process a lot of it and i just forget later on. maybe it's just a me thing though... but to me, even if i hated waiting because something ended in a cliffhanger, 1 episode per week was so much better. it kept me excited for next week, i could read theories, discussions, read fanfic about something that was completely different from what happened in the next episode. it was so fun. and i feel like fandoms who were getting their content 1 episode per week live(d) longer? everything is getting cancelled nowadays after like 1 day of streaming and it's hard to find people you can follow who still engage and are present in the fandom...
hi anon! had a busy few days but it's friday now and the weekend and that has definitely brightened my mood- i hope it has yours too!
i completely think that streaming has a lot to answer in the way our consumption of media has changed, and i really do believe that extends to fandom culture too for all the reasons you've highlighted. i made a mini rant on this a couple of years ago and it picked up traction and got a lot of interesting additions on this topic which i really wish i could find now, but to summarise there was a lot of talk about how bingeing and binge culture has been detrimental to fandom spaces because of the rush to consume media and move on to the next big thing. we don't have the time to appreciate media anymore, and most of us feel more dissatisfied with what's produced because we rush through to an ending that that doesn't feel fulfilling simply because we haven't had time to sit with the storyline. no one wants too get to attached to anything because the reign of fandom feels so short lived, either because it's cancelled or because the strains of producing quickly consumable storylines take its toll on everyone working to create the content that they can't sustain the standard expected.
i really miss weekly releases too and some of the most enjoyable series i've watched in the past year have included the last of us and house of the dragon which were released an episode by week, and it was just so nice to be within that fandom space. even though most people knew what was going to happen within these storylines because they're adaptations which meant little speculation, it still brought people together to discuss and digest what they'd watched and also create. creating takes time and often feels exhausting when everything is thrown at you all at once and you're not the fastest person to get your ideas out there, instead weekly releases allowed creators to notice details and curate art around that. i do wonder if in the future the pendulum is going to swing back towards weekly releases because of the level of engagement, and therefore profit that surrounds engagement, that surrounds it. i'd really like it to, because i do think binge culture comes with a lot of problems, and i don't just mean in an online world because the recent strikes have highlighted how the attitude of 'i can consume this and throw it away' is having huge impacts on people's livelihoods
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I can confirm, I am also obsessed with certain characters, and I'm sure all your readers understand XD I don't usually go out of my way to read anything about Diluc and Kaeya, I'm kind of neutral on them, and I absolutely ATE UP your fics of them!! I was binge reading some of your stuff a couple of days ago and I had a lot of fun with it, I won't deny that I'm very excited for more to come! XD
Also on a separate note, I reallyyy liked the late caretaker fic! I clicked on it as soon as I saw it was out hahaha, I think I'm starved for some good hsr content! I really love the way you portrayed Stelle and Kafka's relationship (I have a soft spot for motherly Kafka)
I'm glad you enjoyed the undesirable caretaker prompt! Toying with Kafka and Stelle's relationship is really interesting to me because like obviously Kafka's done tons of not good things, even to Stelle, but it's still obvious she really cares??? Dying for more on what the fuck is going on there because Of Course her companion quest gave some really interesting bits but they can't Go anywhere because they're stuck in "not everyone saw this" hell and im >< but I want to see Stelle react to it, I want to hear her talk to other people about Im- going to have to find fanfic eventually.
Anyway, digressing a little, something about that concept and dynamic is just so much fun. Kafka, constantly hiding things, definitely incredibly dangerous, and how soft she can be towards Stelle/Caelus. I'll probably write more in their direction eventually. But Kafka's voice is ... something. I'll have to decide where to go with the next one.
as for the first part! it's funny bc like I obsessively read every cynari (etc) fic that crosses my space anymore and want more so like I'm well versed in "I want more like this but Slightly Different" but any time I find myself writing too many versions of the same arrangements I'm like "....... oops people are probably getting annoyed by now"
on the other hand this IS more or less what I expected when I started doing Hoyoverse for the event prompts because I resisted genshin specifically for actual years (because the Fandom did and still kinda does scare me) but like with the dull awareness from people I follow that I would absolutely adore the Diluc & Kaeya dynamic based on what I absorbed by osmosis. And then I started playing star rail and slowly just started collecting hoyo games (glances at HI3 and Genshin ... -shrugs-)
But! I'm glad you're excited! The thought of someone who doesn't normally read the characters reading mine kinda made me alksdfjalsdjfkasldkfj that's so kind of you to say ><
I've been slowly making my way through your modern au and im man the amount of work you put into these to string together a genuine plot through the whole thing is Incredible btw.
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Dragons Chapter 5 and the Slug Race
Hey, anyone who's still out there! First and foremost, apologies for the delay (it's hardly a delay, when I've been consistently uploading at embarrassingly year-long intervals, Jesus). Also, thank you, for still being here, and for being so patient and for still having faith!
Secondly, the link to the chapter.
Now... a bit of a rant/vent/explanation as to why it always takes so long for me to update this story. Under the "read more/keep reading".
Okay, so... I'm not gonna lie. A whole year is the time required to release a new, original book, not a new chapter for fanfiction. It's embarrassing, and it's frustrating, and it's extremely counter-productive towards my goal. It's... non-productive, really.
I don't have an "excuse" for that. My reason is many things, but I can boil them down to roughly two aspects.
The first, and the most important is, for many months now, I just didn't want to write. In general, really, but mostly, I didn't want to write for this fandom anymore, and not for this fic anymore. I've been spending a lot of my free time doing nothing productive (arts-wise); when I'm not with friends/family, or working/studying, I'm watching a TV series, YouTubing, or playing games. Sure, it's good to lay back and not do anything mentally taxing every now and again, but this has been setting me back on the personal goal of improving my writing (and the bonus side-quest of learning to draw).
I'm not sure why this is happening. I think I'm just a little tired. IRL stuff became bigger and more complex, requiring more of my time and disposition, and maybe I'm feeling like I don't want to do anything important whenever I get a break.
I really want to change that. I've been trying to follow a fixed schedule, that will break my free time up into "leisure" and "art/writing", but I'm having trouble following it through. I "binge" activities, rather than do a little bit of everything everyday, and I know that's something that I'll need to change in my behavior if I want to accomplish everything I set out to do. What's making that difficult is that I've been prioritizing some stuff, whilst others I'm not so inclined to do.
Which brings me to the second part of my "excuse". This story, Dragons. TL;DR, it's not bringing me any joy anymore, but I'm going to go into more detail on that.
My original plan for Dragons was to make it a domestic, pregnancy-romance story, focused on the condition and its symptoms, the shenanigans surrounding the novelty of a human-vampire hybrid "breeding", and the relationships between the characters, especially Alucard and Integra's, and how they developed as the pregnancy progressed.
I thought it would be easy. I thought it would be fun, and light-hearted, and simple to accomplish. I was wrong.
I don't know why, but I was wrong. I don't know what happened, exactly, that caused the story to drift away into... this. Into this monstruous, mentally-taxing narrative I am NOT prepared to write, and that I don't think I should be tackling right now. Not with the writing and reading experience I have at the moment.
It's so much bigger and more complex that I thought it would be. I'm aware I'm to blame for not having planned everything in its minute details, so stuff constantly changed as I got new ideas I wanted incorporated. Originally, I planned for Dragons to be roughly 3 to 4 chapters long, but now I'm looking at... what, 8, 10, and I'm pulling my hair out.
Whilst I did have character interactions in my mind, I did NOT intend for it to have any drama, especially not the kind of drama that it's driving towards. It was supposed to be shallow, something small and fun, but, instead, I'm feeling compelled to write these really long, drawn-out dramatic scenes, and all these """"""cHArAcTEr mOmENts"""""" that had absolutely no business in the original draft, and that I feel really insecure doing because I don't really know how to write that.
This chapter, chapter 5, didn't even include everything that I planned on delivering, and maybe that's my fault too, for not really knowing how to pace and structure a story. It's infuriating that it's been a whole year and I update with... so little and non-rewarding... a chapter that it's, like, mid-conflict, and not properly going anywhere, kinda. It leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, and I feel like I'm disappointing not only the brave souls who are still around (bless you), but also myself.
Maybe this also plays some part on my lack of interest, but I'm just not super into Hellsing as I was, when I first started posting Dragons. It sucks, but it's life. I don't really like working like that, not completely into the thing, feeling like it's an obligation and not a hobby I fully enjoy, but there's not much I can do about that; I refuse to abandon ship, and I can't force myself to become "obsessed" with Hellsing again (or, can I? I don't know).
There's also the language barrier, which takes some of my time, and the fact that I want to write more... "poetically"? My writing feels too sterile and "technical", I think, and I want it to sound more like a melody and less like a speech, and I know that I'll only get there if I read and write MORE, but it's still an added layer of consumption of my time and mental effort. Writing narrative, for me, is a struggle, but, when I complain about it, like I'm doing now, I also feel like I'm bitching for no reason, and putting effort into it is the bare minimum I should be doing. Still, it would be nice if it were a little less difficult, aha.
I'm not going to do like last time and "promise I'll (try) to do better". What I CAN assure anyone, though, is that I will absolutely finish this story (I hate engaging with someone else's work, and then having the creator just drop it, but this is merely a personal feeling and I'm not trying to pass judgement on anyone, people have their reasons), and that I will, eventually, when the story allows, incorporate the silly, pregnancy shenanigans that I originally wanted. As soon as the characters calm the F down.
Whilst Dragons took this crazy turn, I, at the very least, got most of it roughly planned and bullet-pointed. I have a direction, even though I can't be sure the path won't curve and spin to get to the end. Whatever, it's there for me to write; I just need to actually sit down and do it.
So... here we are, at the end of this vent. I have no idea when the next chapter will be uploaded. Sorry for the zero guarantees, sorry for always taking so long, and THANK YOU, for anyone, who's still, somehow, around, and following this story. You are the real heroes. T__T
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You do not by any means have to answer all of these, but I love when people talk about their own writing, their writing process, and where they got started with fanfiction (especially since you're the writer of a banger like tabula rusa!) so; 4, 18, 23, 28, 33, 44, 48, 49!
I only just saw this I'm so sorry!! I wasn't ignoring you at all, I love it when people ask me about my writing <333
4) What is your favourite genre to write for?
I am an angsty bitch at heart, it has to be said. I see a character go through unspeakable trauma and suffering and go: 'huh. I think they need some more of that actually'.
18) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?
So many. So, so many. I try to orphan works I'm 100% sure that I'm never coming back to, just to avoid giving people false hope, but there are definitely a lot of them floating out there on the interwebs -- and a lot of WIPs that have been waiting years for the motivation to write to return. Usually, I just lose interest, or I have a new idea that I like better, but sometimes I write myself into a corner (the pitfalls of hardly ever planning, alas) and it's just too hard to get myself out of. I'm not proud, but that's the truth.
23) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?
Honestly I can write either way, but if I am listening to music it's very rarely anything that connects to the story. I know some writers have fic playlists and stuff but I've never had that kind of patience, I just write when I write, and sometimes that has a soundtrack and sometimes it doesn't.
28) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fanfiction?
You don't owe anyone your writing. Even if it's a popular story, even if it's been years, even if you left it on a cliffhanger -- this is something I and a lot of others do for the love of the source material and story telling. It's not a job. You can just stop if you don't like it anymore, and that's absolutely fine.
33) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?
I've always wanted to go into writing professionally one day, and I'm currently on a bit of a detour from that main goal, primarily due to my CFS. Back during lockdown, I was writing a few oneshots for Smallville which was one of the shows I binged over that whole period, and considering it's a 20 year old show I wasn't expecting to get a whole lot of engagement. Then I got the loveliest comment from someone asking if I was published, and if I wasn't why. It made me feel really good about my skill level and ability, because I have been writing fic for over ten years now and although sometimes I will feel like I'm plateauing, stuff like that reminds me that I've actually gotten pretty good at it.
44) What is the last line you wrote?
It is from tabula rasa, although I'm not sure if I'm going to keep it in, as this whole next chapter is being a bitch:
“You need to have a purpose beyond being his child,” she takes a breath, like she’s steeling herself for something, but just says: “and he would agree with me.”
48) What’s your favourite trope to write?
I know a lot of people don't like them, and have good reason for it, but I have always loved reading and writing genderbends. The first one I ever wrote I think was for Stiles from Teen Wolf, but I've since turned a lot of canon cis male characters into cis female characters just because I love looking at how socialisation differs, how differently they're viewed and treated, how they might be fundamentally the same and different etc. Pretty much every fandom I've ever really gotten fixated on has had me produce one of these: I did multiple fem!Jon Snows, a fem!Thor that never saw the light of day, fem!Cesare Borgia (but a fictionalised Cesare Borgia, if that makes it any better?), fem!Umbrella Academy, am currently doing a fem!Spider... hell, I'm probably forgetting some I did and then orphaned. I just love them, they're like crack to me.
49) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?
I cannot - statistically, it was probably Harry Potter or Percy Jackson, or something very similar. Although a very early one I remember reading and loving was a Wrong BWL fic which set off a small obsession at the time.
#thank you for your patience!! i'm sorry i took so long#for some reason i just didn't register this at all in my inbox#ask game#asks#my fics#about me#may speaks#tw harry potter mention#tw genderbend
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