#not sure if I love or hate that noeul has become more sympathetic recently

[the-dalseum-duet]

does the heaviness of the entirety of The Lore hit you out of nowhere entirely sometimes or is it. is it just me

like. just thinking about crow’s childhood. you’re THE princess! but you can’t leave the palace. no one needs to see you. but WE all need to see you at all times to make sure you’re okay. we know you don’t like it when Sara has to touch you for hours on end but you’ll die if she doesn’t. you don’t understand why you have to take those pills yet. you don’t understand why Sara broke down sobbing on your first birthday. your mother is rotting away mere feet below where you first learned to walk. she was so mistreated that she could see the outline of your body in hers when she held her breath. you never got to meet the man who is the reason why you’re alive. he sewed you clothes. he embroidered your name on a blanket. he knows who you are. he watches you grow up from miles away. his couch is stained with your blood. he can’t afford a new one.

and all you have is your sister. she’s well-behaved. she has nothing wrong with her. suddenly YOU’RE not the princess anymore. sometimes she speaks in a language you can’t understand. you are not the child of the person who married your father. you are a pet— a pretty little toy worth little more than the woman they poisoned years ago. you have her nose.

she paints you things. she decorates your bandages and gives you stickers for your cane. her hair is shiny and smooth. it’s good for braiding. your father washes yours for you, and he puts some sort of cream in it. he’s gentle then. you see scars on his face when he kisses your forehead. he puts out a cigarette in the bath water when you’re done. you don’t know what “magwi” means yet. your sister taught you “kaek.” that’s your name in the language the tall pink-haired phantom speaks with her.

your father has pictures on his arms. you like the butterfly— “it’s a death’s head hawkmoth” he tells you. your love for bugs started then. he’s nice to you when he’s alone. you knew the smell of alcohol before you even knew what it was. you knew those were nights you would be staying with Sara.

Sara is kind when she isn’t hurting you. she says she’s trying to help you. her pills taste bad. she calls you her friend. sometimes she calls you blaire, then catches herself. you think she’s silly. she likes to listen to you talk about your favorite bugs. she has a picture of a snake where he has his moth. she likes to do your makeup for you. you always think Marie looks much prettier.